The BOB & TOM Show - November 21, 2025

Summary

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The BOB & TOM Show – November 21, 2025 [DETAILED SUMMARY]

Main Theme

This episode of The BOB & TOM Show is a lively and characteristically zany blend of comedy, banter about Thanksgiving, musical parodies, listener letters, and wide-ranging conversations. The crew—Tom Griswold, Chick McGee, Bob Kevoian, Jess Hooker, Pat Godwin, John Heffron, and others—riff on Thanksgiving food traditions, scams, wacky news, vehicles that look like the products they advertise, hearing loss, notable inventions, pop culture, and host a guest segment with comedian John Heffron.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Starting the Weekend: "Beer Run" & Welcome Back Banter (01:36–05:55)

• Pat Godwin and John Heffron perform the comedic country tune “Beer Run,” a crowd-pleaser that sets the weekend tone.
• Banter on studio seating arrangements, radio broadcast language, and the joy of syncing radio commentary with TV visuals.
• Notable Quote:
  “This is like when you’re listening to a football game and they go, ‘The Colts are going left to right on your radio dial.’”
  — Tom Griswold (05:17)
• Josh Arnold returns after illness—his absence and experience with bronchitis are humorously dissected, including the effects of medication.

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2. Viagra and Hearing News, Tinnitus/Tinnitus, and Off-Label Drug Uses (05:54–12:10)

• Tom brings up an odd medical news bite about Viagra’s potential to help certain kinds of hearing loss.
• They joke about drug side effects, minoxidil’s hairy surprise, and the “hard of hearing” pun.
• Song Segment:
  Pat Godwin delivers a tongue-in-cheek song about the medical pronunciations (tinnitus/tinnitus).
• Notable Quote:
  “And this gives new meaning to the term ‘hard of hearing.’”
  — Tom Griswold (06:19)
• Discussion of headphone use and its risks, clever solutions like AirPod-style hearing aids, and the invasion of hearing tech in public.

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3. Food Tastings & Thanksgiving Food Traditions (17:24–19:36)

• The team reviews apple pie mac and cheese (“you don’t taste much until the aftertaste—not great”) and various novelty chips (Argentinian Steak Lays, “burnt” Venezuelan chips).
• Tease upcoming tasting of “Thanksgiving-themed potato chips.”
• Memorable Exchange:
  “My mouth was ready for mac and cheese... I didn't even really honestly taste the apple pie part of it.”
  — Chick McGee (18:10)

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4. Listener Letters: Scams, Tickets, Wiener Mobiles, and Vehicle Promotions (12:29–30:00)

• Tom and Bob read listener emails about scam calls—like fake lost dog messages and AI-voice scams (“your granddaughter is being held hostage”).
• Pro tip: Have a family “safe word” for emergencies.
• They detail novelty vehicles:
  • Oscar Mayer Wiener Mobile
  • Guinness can trucks (Ireland)
  • Idaho Potato Truck (“28-foot-long spud on wheels”)
  • Huge guitars, pianos, and a poop emoji car from Dude Wipes.
• Visual Humor:
  “It looks like the top of a Dairy Queen chocolate cone…”
  — Tom Griswold on the Mini Pooper car (40:57)

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5. Thanksgiving Decorating Trends & Fake vs. Real Trees; Early Holiday Spirit (29:39–31:17)

• Early Christmas decorators, fake trees abound (“80% of Americans use fake trees now”), and some keep their holiday lights up all year, adjusting colors for other holidays.
• Notable Quote:
  “My wife has six Christmas trees inside the house already up. Nine outside…”
  — Listener Letter (30:43)
• Jess says her tree is “fall-themed” right now, not yet Christmas.

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6. Raccoons in the News: Odd Traditions & Urban Wildlife (31:48–34:41)

• Talk of Calvin Coolidge being gifted a raccoon for Thanksgiving (he didn’t eat it), and NFL player Xavier Legette eating raccoon for Thanksgiving.
• Scientific musings: urban raccoons’ noses are “mutating,” and raccoons are becoming more comfortable with humans.
• Letter from a listener who saw someone driving with a raccoon in their lap!

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7. Virology, Health, and Simplisafe (35:44–36:34)

• An ad break on home security segues to more health news—upcoming topics on beards in the news and dietary “fart maxing.”

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8. Thanksgiving Facts & Trivia! (88:28–111:38 / [1:28:28–1:51:38])

• The hosts share Thanksgiving fun facts:
  • The first Thanksgiving was in 1621, documented by Edward Winslow.
  • 46 million turkeys eaten annually at Thanksgiving.
  • Red wine is the top drink; “Drunk Uncle” is a real phenomenon.
  • Swanson’s TV dinners originated to solve a turkey surplus.
  • Detroit Lions’ tradition of playing football on Thanksgiving dates to 1934.
  • Campbell’s Soup invented green bean casserole as a marketing ploy.
  • Jingle Bells was originally written for Thanksgiving (fact-checked by Jess).
• Warm banter about food combinations, family rituals, and sneaking off for "the walk" before dinner.
• Memorable Quote:
  “Thanksgiving was inspired—or inspired—the TV dinner. Swanson used 260 tons of leftover turkey to create the original frozen meals…”
  — Jess Hooker (96:34)

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9. Modern Life Riffs: Appliances, Aging, Hearing, and Tech (116:31–125:29 / [1:56:31–2:05:29])

• Guest John Heffron riffs on the frustrations of modern appliances:
  • Old school vs. new school washer/dryers (“Mine needs a safe space... it’s a Montessori dryer!”).
• Riff about losing hearing, using Bluetooth hearing aids with “restaurant mode” (“blocks crowd noise, lets you hear just your table”).
• Tom reflects on old tech: payphones, phone cards, and getting phone charges linked to international drug calls.

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10. News We Failed to Mention [Jeff Oskay Segment] (127:46–132:36 / [2:07:46–2:12:36])

• Jeff Oskay presents his satirical “Failed to Mention News,” riffing on:
  • An 80-year-old Ironman competitor: “She mapped out the race using the liver spots on the back of her hand.”
  • Ancient crocodiles climbing trees.
  • Play sand recalled for asbestos.
  • Domesticated raccoons (“Didn’t they open for the Traveling Wilburys?”)
  • KFC’s “gravy flight.”
  • Plush toys that are anatomically correct.
  • Calvin Coolidge pardoning a raccoon via “autopen.”

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11. Outrageous News: “Menstrual Masking” & “Fart Maxing” (61:04–65:16, 82:33–85:13)

• Jess reports on a viral TikTok trend where people use their own menstrual blood as a face mask—medical experts emphatically advise against it.
  • “Putting period blood on your face runs the risk of getting various infections—including herpes, chlamydia in your eye, or cellulitis.”
    — Jess Hooker (62:51)
• “Fart maxing”—TikTok user details a fiber-rich, egg-heavy diet to maximize flatulence, measured with a decibel meter (hits 93 dB, “like a lawnmower”).

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12. Listener Letters: Drill Sergeant Antics, ATM Heist, Disc Jockey Origins (41:31–44:00)

• Letter about a drill sergeant playing mind games with a recruit who accidentally made eye contact.
• Discussion on why radio hosts are called “disc jockeys.”
• Story of someone who tried to steal an ATM—caught when their sparks were spotted by a police helicopter.

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13. Supertasters/Tasting & Bodily Functions (47:53, 53:14–54:22)

• More on Thanksgiving taste tests and food debates.
• Fart humor amid discussions of diet, “fart maxing,” and embarrassing bodily functions at family gatherings.

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14. Guest Segment: John Heffron (87:54–153:58 / [1:27:54–2:33:58])

• John Heffron joins, discusses:
  • Aging invisibility (“the door at the grocery store doesn’t open for me anymore”).
  • Selling a Michigan farm, house hunting on Zillow, and the bizarre photo choices people make for listings.
  • Thanksgiving plans, living with “mystery animals in the wall,” and playing “guess what animal is in the house.”
  • The origin of his famous “That Guy Game” (with shout-outs to its viral success via the Bob & Tom Show).
  • Appliances from the past vs. present (“washers and dryers had one setting—do your job or it all burns”).
  • Getting diagnosed with ADD, going through testing with teens, and what Adderall did (or didn’t do)—which led to writing his sci-fi book, The Maskers.
  • Stories of morning radio stunts gone wrong (fighting with Janet Jackson on-air, getting hit so hard he “reverted to VCR technology”).

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15. Sports News: NFL, Mascot Vehicles, Aging Australians (25:12–26:14; 79:56; 80:17–82:25)

• Quick sports updates:
  • NFL sack records, quarterback troubles, Thursday night game summaries.
  • Guinness World Record: Over 100 Australians over age 100 gathered in one spot (“a combined age of 15,000 years!”).
  • “What’s the reaper doing at the 100-year-olds' gathering?” [dark humor segment]

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16. Miscellaneous: History, Trivia, & Pop Culture Call-Backs (158:30–164:15)

• Historical birthdays (“one-name people,” Voltaire, Goldie Hawn, Bjork).
• Jingle Bells actually written for Thanksgiving “Sunday school program.”
• Human cannonball trivia; family/ancestry jokes about the “Battle of Griswoldville, Georgia.”
• Discourses on pop culture (Aerosmith ride at Disney being replaced by the Muppets, Muppet 3D show nostalgia, etc).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Off-Label Drug Uses:

"Viagra… gives new meaning to the term ‘hard of hearing.’"
— Tom Griswold (06:19)

On Early Christmas Decor:

“My wife has six Christmas trees inside the house already up. Nine outside have been turned on since the day after Halloween.”
— Listener Letter (30:43)

On Family Thanksgivings:

“Thanksgiving was inspired—or inspired—the TV dinner. Swanson used 260 tons of leftover turkey to create the original frozen meals…”
— Jess Hooker (96:34)

On TikTok Challenges:

“A man in Florida who was arrested for walking around in the nude told officers he was taking part in a TikTok challenge… though authorities said he did not have a smartphone, phone or a camera on him.”
— Jess Hooker (147:49)

On Adulthood:

“I’m at that age… the door doesn’t even open up for me at the supermarket anymore—it just doesn’t acknowledge that I exist.”
— John Heffron (89:39)

On Appliances:

“Our dryer is like, ‘we sense when clothes are dry, we’re a Montessori dryer,’ …now if you’re not downstairs in 22 minutes—it all burns.”
— John Heffron (123:52)

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Important Timestamps (MM:SS) & Segment Markers

• 01:36–03:55: “Beer Run” performance
• 05:54–06:19: Viagra and hearing news (“hard of hearing” pun)
• 11:10–11:53: Pat Godwin’s “Tinnitus” medical medley
• 18:01–18:23: Apple pie mac & cheese review
• 40:57–41:02: Description of the Mini Pooper car
• 61:04–62:51: Menstrual masking/viral TikTok trend news
• 82:33–85:13: Fart maxing, TikTok user’s record (93 dB)
• 88:28–111:38: Thanksgiving facts & trivia marathon
• 127:46–132:36: “News We Failed to Mention” – Jeff Oskay segment
• 158:30–164:15: History, trivia & pop culture call-backs (Voltaire, cannonballs, disco)

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Tone and Language

The episode maintains the irreverent, improvisational, and often absurd tone familiar to BOB & TOM Show listeners. The banter is fast-paced and playful, filled with running gags, bodily function humor, callbacks to long-time characters (“being a rocker, Tom”), and off-color jokes—often at the expense of one another, but always with good-natured affection.

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For the Listener Who Missed the Show

This episode is a classic BOB & TOM Show blend—funny, loose, and unscripted—with something for everyone: witty musical numbers, relatable humor about growing older, family and food traditions, wild news-of-the-weird, holiday prep inspiration (and caution!), and plenty of smart-dumb slapstick. If you want food laughs, tales of 100-year-olds gathering, knowledge about the origins of TV dinners and Jingle Bells, or just great riffing from comedians at the top of their game, it’s all here.

Don’t miss:

• The “Beer Run” musical opener
• John Heffron’s riffs on appliances & ADHD
• Thanksgiving food trivia & pop culture reminiscing
• Listener letters on wild vehicles and holiday scams
• Jeff Oskay’s “Failed to Mention News”
• And the saga of “menstrual masking” (science says: don’t try this at home!)

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[End of Summary]

Transcript

[Tom Griswold]

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[Bob Kevoian]

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[Tom Griswold]

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[Bob Kevoian]

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[Tom Griswold]

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[Chick McGee]

It's the bob and tom show.

[Pat Godwin]

B double E double R u n beer run E double E double R u n beer run all we need is a 10 and a 5 or a car and a key and a sober driver B double E double r u n beer. A couple of frat guys from Abilene drove out all night to see Robert Earl Keane at the K Pig, Swine and Soiree dance. They wore baseball caps and khaki pants. They wanted cigarettes so to save a little money they got one from this hippie that smelled kind of funny. And the next thing they knew they were both really hungry and pretty thirsty too. B double E R r u n beer run B double E double r u n beerun all we need is a 10 and a 5 or a car and a key A sober driver B double E double r u n beer Found a store with the sign said their beer was coldest so they sent in Brad Cause he looked the oldest he got a case of beer and a candy bar Walked over to where all them registers are Latest fake ID on the countertop the clerk looked, he turned, he looked back up, he stopped, he said, son, I'm not gonna call the cops but I'm gonna have to keep this card the guys both took it pretty hard B double E double R U and mirror B double.

[John Heffron]

E.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh how happy we would be had we only brought a better fake ID on his B double E double r u n beerun they found this other old hippie named Sleepy John he claimed to be the one from the Robert Earl Keane song so they gave him all their cash he bought them some brew it was a beautiful day out in Santa Cruz they were feeling so good it should have been a crime the crowd was cool and the band was prime they made it back up front to their seats just in time so they could sing with all their friends. They say the road goes on forever and the party never end B double E, double R U N beer run B double E double R U and beer run all we need is a 10 and a fiver A car and a key and a sober driver B double E double R U M beer run.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, sir. Start the weekend off with a beer run yeah. Thank you, Todd. My goodness. Hey. From the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Mr. Timing. That's what they call it. It's the Bob and Tom show.

[Tom Griswold]

They call him Mr.

[Chick McGee]

Timing.

[Tom Griswold]

They always call him Mr.

[Chick McGee]

He Orgasms way too soon. He what? That's provided he ever gets an erection. They the dream.

[Tom Griswold]

He uses delay cream. He's a jig.

[Chick McGee]

He's tried everything. Oh, hey, everybody. How are you? I understand. As I understand it, the mics are just on. And welcome to the Bob and Tom Show. There's Jess Hooker.

[Pat Godwin]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

She's at the Silac Insurance news desk. There's Pat Godwin.

[John Heffron]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Willie Griswold. Hey, man. Now yesterday, Josh Arnold is back. Hello. Hello, my friend.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hi. Thank you. Good to have you.

[Chick McGee]

Yesterday, Willie was sitting in your seats. So we had a wall of Griswolds.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, wow.

[Chick McGee]

Yesterday it was a grizzly wall.

[Tom Griswold]

Now we have them at 12 and 6.

[Chick McGee]

This is my favorite thing. This is my favorite thing you do. Please explain to everyone listening and some watching where and how we are sitting here in the studio.

[Tom Griswold]

This is like when you're listening to a football game and they go. The Colts are going left to right.

[Chick McGee]

On your radio dial.

[Tom Griswold]

And I actually now kind of like that because it's. There is a visual thing. I often will listen to the radio guys while watching the tv. It's the only way to go because a lot of times the radio guys.

[Chick McGee]

Are so good, I sync them up.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. So in any event, a couple things. Josh, you missed some important news here. Many things. The weirdest of which is this connection possibly between hearing loss and Viagra.

[Bob Kevoian]

No kidding.

[Tom Griswold]

Not. Not to suggest that using Viagra will cause your hearing to go away. But apparently for some types of deafness, Viagra can possibly improve one's hearing.

[Jess Hooker]

Whoa.

[Chick McGee]

Did you hear that? Everybody heard that, right?

[Bob Kevoian]

Viagra is one of those weird things where it's already an off label use. Its main use.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Bob Kevoian]

Wasn't what they were intended.

[Chick McGee]

Blood pressure.

[Tom Griswold]

And this gives. This gives no meaning to the term hard of hearing. And I believe.

[Bob Kevoian]

Did he regale you guys with that?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, ye. Yeah, we heard that yesterday. Yeah. Yeah, I believe.

[John Heffron]

Couldn't wait to tell it again when you were back.

[Chick McGee]

He sat down when Josh is here.

[John Heffron]

I'm going to tell it again.

[Willie Griswold]

I'm getting right into the setup on this one.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, we. I'm going to reread every letter, every joke we left.

[Chick McGee]

We're so glad you're back. Well, it wasn't one of those grow hair. Minoxidil was a blood pressure medicine. Right? Grows hair.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they. They develop it to do one thing and it ends up doing another.

[Bob Kevoian]

But sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Unfortunately, both a chick and I and Pat have what they call tinnitus.

[Chick McGee]

Huh.

[Tom Griswold]

Sometimes called tinnitus, which is this constant drone in your ear. I was listening to an interview with the great artist KT Tunstall and she has a terrible case of tinnitus and she lost all the hearing in one of her ears.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yikes.

[Tom Griswold]

She's still a brilliant musician, but I just. It would be great if they could figure out a way to get rid of that.

[Willie Griswold]

But I think that if you didn't wear headphones 80% of your waking day, you'd probably be a little bit better.

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[John Heffron]

Must.

[Chick McGee]

Or. Or kick it up to wearing headphones 100% and have no problems.

[Tom Griswold]

That's. I will play.

[Chick McGee]

This would be perfect for you. You could walk into a room, you have to mic the room so you could hear everybody talk about complicated.

[Tom Griswold]

That'd be good.

[Chick McGee]

That'd be great.

[Willie Griswold]

I was doing a stand up show a month ago at Zany's and there was a guy in the crowd, he was wearing AirPods, but they were just his hearing aids. There's a new hear and it looks just like EarPods.

[Bob Kevoian]

That.

[Willie Griswold]

I mean, that's your go to. I was gonna make fun of the guy and I go, no, I can't. There's something wrong with him. I mean, you gotta. You don't have to listen to anybody anymore ever. You can listen to Ira Glass all day long.

[Tom Griswold]

A lot of.

[Chick McGee]

A lot of.

[Tom Griswold]

A lot of those earpods now are actually hearing aids. But now, Pat, you had a tribute to that, as I recall.

[Pat Godwin]

I did, yeah. I was just looking over my. My lyrics here.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

It's been a while since I've done it.

[Tom Griswold]

It's 24 hours, 23. A while since. Okay. Also, we have another.

[Chick McGee]

He likes a good hour to two hours of rehearsal time.

[John Heffron]

I need to.

[Pat Godwin]

I need to be alerted ahead of time. Okay, well, I can do it soon.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Now, I will tell you this, Pat. I hope he'll be prepared. This evening in Youngstown at the Funny Farm.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, nice.

[Tom Griswold]

[e-mail] Willie's got the night off. But tomorrow, hey, Saturday, Cincinnati Bombs Away Comedy. Go to bombsawaycomedy.com for your location, etc. Etc. Tickets and the like. All right? And we've got a bunch of our friends out on the road. Tim Cavanaugh with the Great Emo Phillips is going to be in Ann Arbor, Michigan, at the Ann Arbor Comedy Club this weekend. And also I mentioned this yesterday, Tim Allen is on his way in January to Boise, Idaho, to the Morrison center on Saturday the 10th, and Saturday the 7th of February, he'll be at the Bob Hope Theater in Stockton, California. We've got an interview that I did the other day with Tim Allen. We'll get a chunk of that on or we're getting that posted.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, he only wanted to talk to you, huh?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, it was in the afternoon. You, A, were sick and B, might have interrupted your afternoon activities. I'm sure you had.

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Some kind of.

[Chick McGee]

See, you know me when the show's over.

[Jess Hooker]

Not even when the show's over.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, My afternoon activity activities.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, you know what? You know what, Josh? Take the day. Here's the thing, okay?

[Bob Kevoian]

They threw everything at me. I had bronchitis.

[Chick McGee]

I heard you got everything.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, yeah. Steroids, antibiotics, inhaler, those whatever pearls that keep you from coughing or something.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, my goodness.

[Bob Kevoian]

And so, yeah, so I'm also at the stage, Please keep an eye on me today, where all the medicine is making me want to climb the walls and jump out of my. Do you guys get this?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, yes, absolutely.

[Bob Kevoian]

Massive sort of anxiety or whatever.

[Chick McGee]

It's like restless leg syndrome for your entire body.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, Right.

[Bob Kevoian]

Do you guys know what bronchitis is? I didn't know this.

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Bob Kevoian]

It's when your lungs decide they no longer want to be part of your body, and so they try to remove themselves via your windpipe.

[Chick McGee]

Because they figure they're down there and there's a hole at the top.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. They can see light.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey, we want to check out what's going on.

[Chick McGee]

We're out of here.

[Willie Griswold]

Every time you talk, that light is just shining through. Opportunity for them to escape.

[Tom Griswold]

So it's kind of like Harry Carry, but you don't have to Take a large knife and eviscerate.

[Bob Kevoian]

No, no, we'll go.

[Jess Hooker]

We'll.

[Bob Kevoian]

We'll get out of here.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Good, good. Pat, you've got the guitar. Are you ready? I'm ready. This is. This is about the Viagra and the hearing loss.

[Pat Godwin]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

This is about tinnitus. That's how it's pronounced, Tom, not tinnitus.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, it's actually. They're both correct.

[Pat Godwin]

Let's just go with this for the song. I have ringing in my ears, and my doctor pronounces it tinnitus, not tinnitus. He knows the ear, nose, and throat. But when the stomach starts to. Is it gastritis or gastritis?

[Bob Kevoian]

Both are correct, actually.

[Pat Godwin]

We've been saying it. We've been saying it wrong for all these years. Laymen prefer tinnitus, but the professional Tom says, tinnitus, it confuses us and divides us. All the little spider veins that cause lots of pain. That's not phlebitis. It's phlebitis. Swiss bronchitis, arthritis, tonsillitis, hepatitis, and my girlfriend has colitis. I'm still gonna say it's anitis, not tinnitus. And I'm fine with this. And you hybrid physicians, you all sound ridiculous.

[Tom Griswold]

Very good.

[Bob Kevoian]

It does divide us, doesn't it, as a nation? I think it's really.

[Tom Griswold]

I can't hear you. There's numbing in my ears now. Also coming up, we have our letter segment, and we received a lot of good, good email about a lot of interesting topics, including vehicles that look like the product that they are promoting. For example, the wiener mobile is certainly the most common. We're finding out about some other ones out there that I did not know about, and we're searching for some photographs of them. We'll get to that. Also scams going on out there.

[Bob Kevoian]

A lot of scams.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, scamming it up.

[Tom Griswold]

I had another one. Yes. I had one two days ago. I got a thing for. It was some lady going, your dog showed up on my porch. Blah, blah, bl.

[Bob Kevoian]

Give us $5,000.

[Tom Griswold]

No, but they do. They want you to call. They want you to call them. Like, what the hell?

[Chick McGee]

Have you gotten the notification? Like, north of the city, they have traffic cameras now and they can send you a speeding ticket. I know how much you love this concept.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes, I opened my mail yesterday.

[Chick McGee]

I bet. Honestly?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes. This was honest. I went out and got the mail, and I went, oh, well, this has got to be a. Oh, no, that's a picture of my car.

[Jess Hooker]

Was it your first one?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

So I saw you pay. Nothing.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

At the time I was talking to my neighbor who's a construction worker and it was for going through a construction area.

[Chick McGee]

That's the one.

[Bob Kevoian]

Speeding a little bit.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that construction area is celebrating its 10th anniversary. They're gonna have a party and. Yeah. Well, also coming up today, comedian John Hefron will be our guest. Great stand up comedian.

[Chick McGee]

I haven't seen him forever. Good man.

[Tom Griswold]

Winner of last comic standing a couple years ago as I recall. But that's all on the way. Also on the way, a lot of great outdoor cooking, which means it's time to talk about Omaha Steaks. Josh.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes. From holiday hosting to unforgettable gifts, Omaha Steaks delivers the world's best steak experience. You guys know that in fact, we'll be enjoying some here not too long from now with our holiday party gift. Family and friends, USDA certified tender steaks, juicy burgers, cozy and convenient comfort meals and so much more. Right now it's their Sizzle all the way sale. You can get 50% off site wide at Omaha steaks.com plus Bob and Tom show listeners get an extra $35 off with promo code BTS at checkout. I have talked to them about their Sizzle all the way sale because that is what I named my sexy Christmas calendar a couple years ago.

[Chick McGee]

Pictures of me sizzle all the way.

[Bob Kevoian]

Doing snow angels in my.

[Chick McGee]

Do not miss hot timber.

[Bob Kevoian]

So I have agreed to let them use it.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

Holiday magic made easy with Omaha Steaks. Plus orders placed by 6pm Eastern. Those are going to ship same day. It's the perfect time to save on delicious gifts and holiday hosting favorites. Boy, I know. Tom gets his list together and he orders online@omaha steaks.com and what? After half an hour, you're done? I mean your, your Christmas season is.

[Tom Griswold]

I've already, I've already started doing it. I've already sent out my first batch of steaks.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Nicely done. Five generations of uncompromising quality Omaha Steaks also carries that air. Chilled chicken, pork, seafood and delicious desserts like those caramel apple tartlets. Save big on gourmet gifts and more holiday favorites with Omaha steaks. Visit Omaha steaks.com you're going to get 50% off site wide during their Sizzle all the Way sale. And for an extra $35 off, use promo code BTS at checkout now terms apply. C site for details, that's Omaha Steaks.com use promo code BTS at checkout.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, if you were here yesterday at this time, I'd like you to stick around for a few more minutes because we have something that we're going to touch base with of great importance.

[Bob Kevoian]

Like a follow up.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

We'll be getting to that shortly. Among other things also, we have. Funny you'd mention it. We do have Jingle Bells in the news.

[Bob Kevoian]

You like them.

[Tom Griswold]

And it's, believe it or not, not related to Christmas.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, all right. What?

[Bob Kevoian]

When you hear those in a song, you think Christmas, don't you?

[Tom Griswold]

You'll be quite surprised.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

I was absolutely surprised. From the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Bob Kevoian]

This is Kevin Harlan and tonight, the NBA on Prime. Crew and I are back with another exciting Emirates NBA. The night starts with Pascal Siakam in the Indiana Pacers meeting Donovan Mitchell and the Cleveland Cavaliers in a battle of familiar foes. Then it's off to Texas as Nikola Jokic and the Denver Nuggets take on Kevin Durant and the Houston Rockets for the first time this season. It all comes your way on prime. And if you're not a Prime member, that's not a problem. Sign up for a free 30 day trial to get started today. The Pacers and Cavs, the Nuggets and Rockets coverage starts tonight at 6:30pm Eastern only on Prime. Restrictions apply. See Amazon.com Amazon prime for details.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Thank O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. There's Josh Arnold. He's back.

[John Heffron]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

He's at the I hate Steven Singer sidekick chair. There's Jess Hooker.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

She's at the Silac Insurance News Center. There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hi, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

There's Willie Griswold.

[Tom Griswold]

Good morning.

[Chick McGee]

There's Ace Cosby.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

I'm Chick Magee at the prize pick sports desk. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello, Chick McGee.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey, Tom. Did I miss any food tastings while I was out for two days?

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Here we go. Hang on.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, sure did. Is it still in the trash can?

[Tom Griswold]

No, I got, I got a. Here's a box of it if you want to try it at home.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay. What'd you guys think of the apple pie? Mac and cheese?

[Tom Griswold]

My. My analysis would be you don't taste much until the aftertaste. Oh, not great. Chick downed an entire bowl.

[Chick McGee]

My mouth was ready for Mac and cheese. It Sees the Mac and cheese. It says this is Mac and cheese.

[Bob Kevoian]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

I scarfed it down as if it were Mac and I didn't even really honestly t taste the, the apple pie part of it.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, this is a limited edition from craft for Thanksgiving.

[Chick McGee]

I, I would have finished the pan off of that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I'll say, I'll say no, thanks, but I'll give this to you and you can make it at home.

[Bob Kevoian]

All right.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you.

[Jess Hooker]

We have, we have something to taste later this morning.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, this is intriguing.

[Jess Hooker]

Some Thanksgiving themed potato chips. Oh, not those.

[Chick McGee]

Not these. No, those are different because I have over here lay's potato chips with which Messi. Messi. Lionel Messi, who plays for Miami. These are Argentinian style Steak Lays potato chips. Oh, what do you think, Tom?

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, I will have to try them.

[Bob Kevoian]

I bought in some, I brought in some Venezuelan potato chips, but they're burnt. Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much. They were coming in, coming in by ship.

[Bob Kevoian]

Soggy and burnt. It's a weird combination.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, yesterday at this time we have to. When we begin our letters segment. Yes, there's an announcement about the sponsorship of the letter segment.

[Chick McGee]

I have it right here.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, go ahead.

[Chick McGee]

Emails from listeners from Sleep number. It's a Sleep number Black Friday sale. You get it early recharge this season with cozy, soothing comfort. Save on mattress and base bundles. Plus free premium delivery. Limited time only. Only at sleep number or sleepnumber.com and sleepnumber.com is now available on your computer.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm a big fan. I love my Sleep number. Now was it this time yesterday for some reason, I think I said Chick Magee starts her off.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And you wondered. Wondered where I got.

[Chick McGee]

No, I didn't. No, I sure didn't. I know knew where you got it and I wanted to know more about it. And here we go.

[Tom Griswold]

It's important. I'm gonna, I'm gonna play it for you from the vinyl. Here we go. This should be it with any luck. So listen with great care. Here we go.

[Chick McGee]

We got a little number from our.

[Tom Griswold]

First album we're going to do for you.

[Chick McGee]

Barry starts her up.

[Tom Griswold]

No, there you go. Barry starts her up. Barry on the bass, please. Ladies and gentlemen, the Allman Brothers Band live at the Fillmore. Oh, it's the greatest. I was just trying to put up the chick. It's the greatest live album ever made.

[Bob Kevoian]

It is top three probably.

[Chick McGee]

I take a lot of happiness hearing you that happy about something.

[Tom Griswold]

I just love when he says Barry starts her off. Then if you look, listen carefully. And some guy goes, whipping post. And then he goes, that's what you're gonna hear. Remember the famous thing with Jackson Brown? Jackson Brown.

[Chick McGee]

Somebody's yelling whip and post.

[Tom Griswold]

And this is. This is like 40 years ago. Jackson Brown goes, are you still here, man?

[Willie Griswold]

He was really excited about this yesterday after we finished the show. I go, you know what? I haven't got enough time yet. Me and him get lunch, by the way. Remember I said that Barry starts her off thing. Don't worry, I found it.

[Bob Kevoian]

Don't worry.

[John Heffron]

Really?

[Bob Kevoian]

Your concerns were assuaged.

[Willie Griswold]

I was like, I don't think that anybody's concerned.

[Chick McGee]

And I really. You see how he lights up? And he never gets that way about hardly anything. It was very exciting.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. Yeah. You can't get mad at it.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a good cigarette. I just. I. A friend of mine is just getting into vinyl records, so I went and I got him the. What do they call it, like the extra gram. Oh, 180 gram heavyweight vinyl.

[Chick McGee]

Got it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. It's just fine digitally, by the way. Crank it up in your headphones live at the film.

[Chick McGee]

I feel much like you did when you saw Rolling Carry Ons for the first time a couple weeks ago. I just now got a Bluetooth turntable and everything hooked up to a Bluetooth receiver. And it has a CD player and everything, like old school stuff with the speakers and everything. And I'm. I'm very excited. Yeah, you can have your turntable across the room and you don't have to worry about running wires into your garage underneath your house. So you live in the past, but.

[Willie Griswold]

You'Re still living in the future.

[Chick McGee]

You're darn right.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's chicken.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait a minute. Hang on a second. Wait a minute.

[Chick McGee]

What'd you say?

[Tom Griswold]

That's cool. Yeah. You're nailing it.

[Bob Kevoian]

We have to go back to go forward, man.

[Tom Griswold]

So I highly recommend at Fillmore east from the Allman Brothers Band. I'm turning out a couple of people to some classic rock that doesn't get in the airwaves much, but is just. Just really good stuff.

[Chick McGee]

Turn it on. Some people.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, there we go. I want. If I open up with this scammer letter.

[Chick McGee]

Go right ahead, sir.

[Tom Griswold]

Josh, we were talking about these scams you get all the time, and they're.

[Bob Kevoian]

Out there to get you, aren't they?

[Tom Griswold]

The big one right now is the fake thing about a ticket, and it goes, you were in the state of Illinois, whatever, and blah, blah, blah. They call this number. If you don't pay it by Today we're with taking your license away. Whatever.

[Willie Griswold]

Oh, no, those are mine. You got to pay those. You got to answer those ones.

[Bob Kevoian]

Ones.

[Tom Griswold]

This is an interesting one. My buddy got a call from his wife at work. He claimed it sounded like her, but something was a little bit odd. The alleged wife claimed she was broken down at the side of the road and had a tow truck there. Needed his debit card to pay the tow truck driver.

[Chick McGee]

No way.

[Bob Kevoian]

This is horrifying.

[Tom Griswold]

My buddy thought it sounded a little weird. He checked her location on his phone and she was in fact at home. So that's a new scam.

[Bob Kevoian]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And then my buddy, Mark's mom, who's 96 years old, got a phone call with someone saying they were holding his grand. Her granddaughter hostage.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, that's a big one.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I mean, like what I'd read about that, but it actually happened to him. It's just, it's unbelievable.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. In these situations, it's good to have a safe word, like with your kids or with your family.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Jess Hooker]

If you do get a sketchy call like that, man. Yeah. Say what's the safe word? And then, you know, it's AI.

[Tom Griswold]

But there's so much of this.

[Chick McGee]

And also another side note to this, Mark and his, his mom, I think sometime later this year he's going to be taller than she is. So that's exciting for Mark.

[Willie Griswold]

Come on, folks.

[Tom Griswold]

I told him your joke about.

[Chick McGee]

It wasn't my joke.

[Tom Griswold]

We were talking about the. Mark is a motorcycle enthusiast.

[Chick McGee]

How does his feet touch the ground?

[Bob Kevoian]

I didn't say that.

[Chick McGee]

He, I, I want to see something funny. Ride a motorcycle.

[Tom Griswold]

He rides it all through the winter and it gets awfully cold, doesn't it? Check local listings.

[Chick McGee]

Sure. His feet are hanging.

[Tom Griswold]

He goes, well, I've got, I've got, I, I, I put on the, with a windshield and then I put on my electric suit that heats it and I've got the helmet with stereo. So why don't you just get a car? But I know there's a difference. But someone suggested. Does he also have a booster seat?

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay. Yeah. That was not me.

[Tom Griswold]

Hilariously funny.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm not, I'm not above making jokes like that, but certainly.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, very good, Very good. Now we, we return to the letter desk. You can reach us Bob [e-mail]. what have you got?

[Chick McGee]

Dear Bob and Tom show this Sunday. This is also Sports Note and also for Tom. Shador Sanders will become the 43rd different starting quarterback for the Cleveland Browns since the franchise's return to the NFL in 1999.

[Bob Kevoian]

Let's go Buffs.

[Tom Griswold]

Sad.

[Chick McGee]

And that's an average of 1990-27. 26 years, give or take between.

[Tom Griswold]

Shador was terrible.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

When he went in last week and.

[Willie Griswold]

They were saying he was coming in the game, now he's going to be a starter. They're going to game plan for him, okay. We're going to be Prime Time 2.0.

[Chick McGee]

He didn't get any snaps with the first first team during the week and that's why he. He has a 13.5 quarterback rate.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, and by the way, speaking of the NFL, last evening there was a game.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, there was. I believe I had this. Houston's defense sacked Josh Allen eight times. Kaylin Bullock had two picks and a second interception sealed the Texans 2319 win over the Buffalo Bills. Maybe someone call Sean and make a wellness check. Allen took consecutive sacks on the Bills final possession. Yeah, Texans win last night. 23:19.

[Bob Kevoian]

After what? The fifth sack. Do you go? Fellas, can I talk to you for a second?

[Tom Griswold]

Remember how I said I was going to buy you guys dinner? That's all off.

[Chick McGee]

Remember that? Remember those watches? Remember the watches I bought you? They were nice. Everybody liked the watches, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Remember those?

[Chick McGee]

Those were great.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, we've been talking about my plan to not only give businesses a tax write off for creating a vehicle that looks like their product, but actually paying them. So if you create a. Like the wiener mobile.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

There should be a huge bonus from the government to you for doing something that's fun.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

With American dollars on national morale. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Very good. Very good. We've had some great.

[Bob Kevoian]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

I guess. I guess this show would make some kind of a driving radio. But people have been making suggestions. You can imagine Dick's Sporting Goods they could make. Yeah. But I found out this one. This comes to us from Seamus, who is a trucker but is from Ireland. At least he goes. In my home country, we have trucks that look like Guinness cans.

[Bob Kevoian]

Whoa.

[Tom Griswold]

They're very cool. Also, apparently there's a potato truck. This is the Idaho potato truck.

[Chick McGee]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

It drives all over the country. It's a 28 foot long spud on wheels. It's a sight to behold. Well, thank you, Jack.

[Chick McGee]

Oh my gosh, there it is.

[Tom Griswold]

And now that's like a gigantic big rig with a huge potato on the trailer.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, I would give that a second look if I were. Is that a real potato? It looks pretty damn good, doesn't it?

[Willie Griswold]

It's a cylindrical.

[John Heffron]

What's that called.

[Tom Griswold]

It's.

[John Heffron]

It's an oval.

[Willie Griswold]

It's a long oval and it's brown. You think potato. But there's another thing you think of when that comes to mind.

[Tom Griswold]

I could be a plumbing.

[Bob Kevoian]

If that's what you're. You're passing. I hope, I hope you have handrails next to your toilet scale.

[Tom Griswold]

Of course what's interesting is that's actually smaller than the radish that Godwin ate two days ago.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, it's still with me.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh yeah, got him. Got him A little bit ill. Oh, let's go Back to Chick McGee. What else? You know the Gibson?

[Pat Godwin]

I went down to Nashville. Gibson has their own huge guitar car too. It's got no Fender.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh no, not the Gibson wouldn't.

[Pat Godwin]

And Steinway has this huge piano. How do you, how do you start it?

[John Heffron]

With 88 keys.

[Bob Kevoian]

What do you think?

[Chick McGee]

Those are very amusing.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now are there 88 ignitions?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, there has to be.

[Chick McGee]

Or a sequence of 88 keys.

[Tom Griswold]

That's just the sort of comedy that palace that'll be presenting in Youngstown at the funny farm this evening and tomorrow night, Friday, Saturday gig. It's at the funnyfarmcomedyclub.com information etc etc. While I'm at it, Willie G. Cincinnati tomorrow night only bombsawaycomedy.com for secret location information. Now you got another letter over there.

[Chick McGee]

Dear Bob and top show. I just wanted to ask Tom if the banana mobile you were talking about, Tom, can it peel out nice? Absolutely nice.

[Tom Griswold]

We and I believe we're trying to get it here in spring of 2026.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey, by the way, Tom answered that question. Absolutely.

[Chick McGee]

Can it peel out, Tom?

[Tom Griswold]

Absolutely. Now we were also talking about. I just had this discussion with someone last evening with respect to Christmas lights. I, I like to. I'm restrained. Our lights have been up for three weeks but they're not on.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Day Thanksgiving Day. We'll pop them on.

[Chick McGee]

Why not leave them up all year round and just turn them on at Christmas time? Would that be a problem?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know if the. I, I don't know.

[Jess Hooker]

There are people that are installing all the time lights year round lights and then you have, you can, you have the remote, you can change the color. So like.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, you even do pastels for Easter.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes, all of it.

[Bob Kevoian]

Orange and black for the Halloween.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Red, white and blue and.

[Tom Griswold]

But is there a icon for Thanksgiving other than the turkey? I've seen one of those giant blow up turkeys but that's it about a pilgrim.

[Chick McGee]

Pilgrim hat. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

That might be good.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's Thanksgiving wreaths.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. But got this. You asked me if my tree, my tree was up. And I do have. My 9 year old daughter Hart has a big tree in her room. It's. That's, that's the fake tree. We'll get a real tree. As the tradition goes Thanksgiving weekend, we always go on and get the real tree. Dear Bob and Tom, My wife has six Christmas trees inside the house already up. Nine outside have been turned. The lights have been turned on since the day after Halloween. Good luck, sir.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

I mean, it's not, it's not terribly uncommon, is it?

[Jess Hooker]

It's a lot of work to decorate for the holidays. This is what I told my family. So I said I'm putting the tree up the day, the weekend after Halloween. That's when I did it. But it has like, I would say like fall decor in the tree right now.

[Willie Griswold]

Fun.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. So it's, it's.

[Tom Griswold]

But this is. And this is a fake tree.

[Jess Hooker]

It's a fake tree. It's my first fake tree. So. Yeah. I had to buy a fake tree and I'm, I'm kind of on board.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I think the stat is 80%.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Of Americans have, are using fake trees.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. I've never have until this year. And it's really convenient.

[Chick McGee]

I have holiday themed magnets that I put on the front.

[Tom Griswold]

That must take hours.

[Chick McGee]

I had. I, I have the. The pilgrim with one of those blunderbuss.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, yeah, sure, sure.

[Chick McGee]

And a turkey with X's on his eyes on a plate.

[Tom Griswold]

Classic.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And then for Christmas, Santa Claus and the reindeer. I like this. I put those up.

[Willie Griswold]

Rudolph and the gang.

[Chick McGee]

That's right. Now it's festive, as you know.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Very fast.

[Tom Griswold]

Very, very festive. Yeah. Now, Josh, you missed our huge raccoon hunk.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now where's this a big a honk about many raccoon stories. Are we talking one huge record?

[Chick McGee]

Get a low. The story is very interesting.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

We had a whole bunch of them. We have some audio from one of them from the NFL Carolina Panthers.

[Chick McGee]

Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

But a couple different things. Calvin Coolidge was famously given a raccoon to prepare for Thanksgiving.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes. I remember us discussing it.

[Tom Griswold]

And he decided not to have the raccoon put down and eaten.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

And that little lady raccoon was one.

[Bob Kevoian]

Vice president.

[Chick McGee]

A wide receiver. Wide receiver out of South Carolina. Plays for the Carolina Panthers right now, Xavier Leggett says that he eats raccoon for Thanksgiving.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's right.

[Chick McGee]

And you remember Xavier.

[John Heffron]

Oh, man. I deep ball, man. But I really feel like any way that I get the ball in my hand, I could get it to that end zone.

[Chick McGee]

Get it to that end zone. That's how he talks about.

[Tom Griswold]

I love that, guys. It's so authentic. It reminds me of Paul Thorne a little bit. And also it's got just a touch of forest gump. But a raccoon eater. And.

[Chick McGee]

But there's something mutating about raccoons. Their noses.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. They say this is really odd. The scientists have been measuring the noses of raccoons. I remember it enough to do it. And they. They're getting more and more friendly with humans.

[John Heffron]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Because they're in urban areas and they eat trash.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. But they say that there's actually a. A physical change in raccoons in some of them that they think is because of their association with humans and because.

[Chick McGee]

Of redistricting, one's going to be elected to the senate in Louisiana. Did you know that? A raccoon.

[Bob Kevoian]

I did. And I'm all for it.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

You guys aren't for Congressman Raccoon.

[John Heffron]

That's just his name.

[Chick McGee]

You know, he's done bandit because he's wearing a mask. How obvious is that?

[Tom Griswold]

And they're saying no profiling.

[Chick McGee]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

And that. That leads to this letter. You were talking about the domestication of raccoons. I drive a lot in my job. I was driving between accounts. I came upon an intersection to make a left turn. As I entered the turn, I passed a car. And I have seen many, many dogs on the lap of the drivers as I passed this car. So that's a little dog. And I realized this guy had a. A raccoon on his lap.

[Chick McGee]

A lot of people have raccoons as pets.

[Tom Griswold]

This is from Clay in Wichita. Thank you for listening, Clay.

[Bob Kevoian]

I think one of Christie's neighbors did she often rule regale us with tails from the trailer park. Which. Which is a true thing. And she said one of her buddies had a record.

[Tom Griswold]

I got a little family of raccoons living in my backyard.

[Bob Kevoian]

But, oh, they're cute.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't. I don't allow them in the house.

[Chick McGee]

Well, unless they're invited.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Speaking of in the house. I feel safe in my house. Thank you very much.

[Chick McGee]

Simply, sir, I hope your compound is locked down like mine. I simply. Safe to do it yourself. Home security system. And you should, too. And. And right now, Simplisafe giving Bob and Tom listeners early access to their Black Friday sale and protecting the Bob and Tom studios. When you think of security, you probably think of that alarm in a house that reacts after an intruder has already broken in. Well, that is too late, people. Simplisafe is different. It's the only home security you can actually call real security because Simplisafe keeps watch outside your home and takes action before a criminal breaks in. If someone's lurking out around your home, Simplisafe's live agents can immediately let that lurker know they are on camera. And if they don't leave, the police will be dispatched. Other security systems have outdoor cameras too. Sure, but they rely on you getting the alert and taking action. Simplisafe does all that for you. You will feel so much safer knowing simply safe has your back. Do not miss this sale. The lowest prices of the year. Go to simplisafetom.com today and you'll get 60% off any new system. It's the best deal of the year. You won't ever see a better price. 60 day money back guarantee and no long term contracts. And 60% off your new system. Go to simplisafetom.com that's simplisafetom.com and remember, there's no safe like Simplisafe.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up, beards in the news and on the show. Next week Mr. Osu is going to have his beard professionally trimmed on the show. So we certainly look forward forward to that. Also, we have something in the news called fart maxing. We'll find out what dietary provisions one needs to achieve this fine level for Thanksgiving. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Show Announcer]

Just gotta get a hold of us. Call, text or email. Get all the contact information you need at bob and tom.com this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

This episode is brought to you by Jack Daniels. Jack Daniels and music are made for each other. They share a rhythm in the craft of making something timeless while being a.

[John Heffron]

Part of legendary nights.

[Tom Griswold]

From backyard jams to sold out arenas, there's a song in every toast. Please drink responsibly. Responsibility.org Jack Daniels and old number seven are registered trademarks. Tennessee whiskey, 40% alcohol by volume. Jack Daniel Distillery, Lynchburg, Tennessee. Holiday stockings.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Top show. We're in the O'Reilly Hollow Parts Studios. There's Jess Hooker. Hi. She's ready at the news center. There's Pat Godwin.

[John Heffron]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

Got a song coming this time from Pat. He got his coconut milk during the break. He's all set, ready to go.

[Jess Hooker]

He's Gonna take a bath in it later.

[John Heffron]

He spilled it everywhere.

[Tom Griswold]

You excited me.

[John Heffron]

And I knocked my coffee open.

[Chick McGee]

He touched his coffee and it spilled everywhere. Tom. BOTTLE over electronic I'm having a movie.

[Tom Griswold]

Morning.

[Pat Godwin]

Put a cake up in the microwave.

[Bob Kevoian]

Tom. It is right now in the green room. We are all ready for Thanksgiving. Because if the green room is ostensibly a kitchen. Right.

[Chick McGee]

Yes. Right.

[Bob Kevoian]

And there were five of us in.

[Chick McGee]

There and we are essentially a family.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes. And it was just bickering. Get out of my way. Why'd you get there?

[John Heffron]

I can't find a coconut meal.

[Bob Kevoian]

It felt like half hour before the mealtime at Thanksgiving.

[Jess Hooker]

It really did.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, well, we have some be kind of a huge number of Thanksgiving facts.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

For you. Some of which are quite surprising.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, I enjoy learning. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

We'll get. We'll get to those coming up. And we were talking about the raccoon that was given to Calvin Coolidge. You remember what his nickname was?

[Bob Kevoian]

I don't.

[Tom Griswold]

Cuckoo Coolidge. Silent Cow.

[Chick McGee]

Silent Cow.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

He said very little man. A few words is a. A famous story, maybe apocryphal, that someone approached the President at a White House party and said, my friends, bet I couldn't get you to say three words. He looked up at her and said, you lose.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, that's funny.

[Chick McGee]

He also said famously, ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.

[Bob Kevoian]

So that was like the most he had said at one point.

[Tom Griswold]

Very good. That was helpful now. Especially on this late November. Now we have also coming up, the battle of Griswaldville in the news. We'll get to that coming up a little bit later.

[Chick McGee]

Dear Bob and Tom show. Here is a photo of the delivery vehicles for the Moose Jaw Pizza and Brewing Company in Wisconsin Dells. Wait till you get a load of this. My father in law also smokes the turkey at Thanksgiving. The flavor is amazing. And the white meat's never dry. Game changer. If you have a smoker, smoke your turkey.

[Bob Kevoian]

It's a fleet of PT Cruisers.

[Chick McGee]

Yep.

[Bob Kevoian]

Maroon. And then they have. They each have a giant moose straddling essentially the. The roofs.

[Chick McGee]

The roofs.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hooves on the roofs.

[Chick McGee]

And they're. The hooves are cascading down on the windshield there.

[Tom Griswold]

They're very cool. You don't see a lot of PT Cruisers anymore.

[Chick McGee]

You do not.

[Tom Griswold]

But yeah, preserve those forever.

[Chick McGee]

They're great.

[Tom Griswold]

Great. Another great look for a. Another great vehicle. Please send us all your crazy looking promotional vehicles. We remain big fans. Now I want to remind you a couple of. A couple quick Things we did have a winner for that 4K TV from Orange Insult Insoles. Mr. Edward Carver.

[Bob Kevoian]

Nice.

[Tom Griswold]

Congratulations.

[Chick McGee]

Good business. That is a good Edward Carver.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that does sound serious.

[Chick McGee]

He calls. You're returning that call.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Also, we have our holiday pop up shop is still popping, and you can find it by going to bobandtom.com while you're there, we've got our pigskin picks thing in operation to win those. The $500 gift card from Steven Singer Jewelers. Now back to you for another letter, please.

[Chick McGee]

Dear Bob and Tom show, talking about cars for products. These are our friends from the fabulous Dude Wipes. This is their Tom. This is the Mini Pooper.

[Tom Griswold]

And it looks like it's got to be kind a.

[Chick McGee]

It's the emoji.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that's. It's kind of the poop emoji or. It looks like the top of a Dairy Queen chocolate cone.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that's interesting.

[Willie Griswold]

Is the Mini Cooper sort of the standard for these kind of promotional vehicles? I'm thinking of the Red Bull ones that you see out there. That feels like the most typical promotional vehicle out of, like a music festival.

[Jess Hooker]

That's true.

[Willie Griswold]

Parked in front of a concert.

[John Heffron]

Concert.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. They're easy to. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Easy to wrap.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. And get in tight spaces like concert venues.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, there you go.

[Tom Griswold]

There you. That makes sense. Yeah. Very cool. Very cool looking car. Now, I can't really read this letter, but I'm gonna try.

[Bob Kevoian]

All right, well, I. You know what? Just take your time and sound every word out.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that's the problem. I can't sound the words out.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

This is one of those basic training encounters with the drill sergeant.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

In this case, the drill sergeant is a nice lady.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

This is from Darren. So one of my fellow soldiers tried to see where the drill sergeants were, and one of the female drill sergeants caught his eye because you're supposed to be looking straight ahead. Caught his eye, looking at her. This is the conversation that followed. What are you looking at, Private? Nothing, Drill sergeant. Then she says the full word for bs. I saw you looking at me. He said, no, drill Sergeant. Then she says, you would like to f me.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, man.

[Tom Griswold]

And he says, no, drill sergeant. And she says, I'm not good enough for you.

[Bob Kevoian]

There's no winning here.

[Jess Hooker]

Just stop talking.

[Tom Griswold]

Then he says, yes, drill Sergeant. Then she says, so then you do want to.

[Chick McGee]

This sounds like every fight I've ever had.

[Tom Griswold]

And he goes, this went on for more than five minutes. And the rest.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's the hardest part. The rest of the Soldiers have to stand there and not laugh.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

That would. I mean, I would be dying.

[John Heffron]

He gets so fired up.

[Willie Griswold]

He's like, you know what? Women shouldn't be allowed in the military.

[Chick McGee]

This is the reason why.

[Jess Hooker]

Get him out.

[Jeff Oskay]

Just that.

[Tom Griswold]

But he said. Yeah. We're standing completely still, feet together, hands at our sides, eyes front.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, yeah. Just.

[Jess Hooker]

Can I read one real quick?

[Bob Kevoian]

Sure, sure.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello, legends. I understand where the term disc comes from in disc jockey, but why the term jockey? I was kind of curious, too.

[Chick McGee]

I'm glad someone finally asked. When radio first started, they would have their contest, of course, in the morning, and the prizes would be delivered on horseback.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, okay.

[Chick McGee]

So we were all. We had to be.

[Tom Griswold]

I imagine it's jockeys jockeying for a position, moving around.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, I.

[Tom Griswold]

But. But now a DJ is no longer dj. Now means most of the time someone who's doing live mixing.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Not actually on.

[Tom Griswold]

On that. Actually on the air.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Radio personality. Is that what they say on air? Personality? Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. So I don't know.

[Bob Kevoian]

I just gotta. Hey, you're that idiot.

[Chick McGee]

I know.

[Willie Griswold]

Hey, you're that idiot's son.

[Jess Hooker]

Well, thanks, J.D. for asking.

[Chick McGee]

In Galleon, Ohio, I always put chemists on my tax return. You know, it's up to them. Dear Bob and Top show, A guy I went to school with stole an ATM from a carryout in Toledo, Ohio.

[Willie Griswold]

Nice.

[Chick McGee]

They backed into the carryout, busted the store open, yanked it out with a truck and chain. They were busted by police helicopter. Seeing the sparks on the road from then dragging it down the street, they took it back to their trailer at a mobile home park. That is from RK in Toledo.

[Bob Kevoian]

Nice.

[Tom Griswold]

We found out that the average ATM has between 80 and $200,000 in cash when it was loaded.

[Bob Kevoian]

Never would have guessed it. I would have guessed way lower.

[Chick McGee]

No kidding.

[Tom Griswold]

Way lower.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm a fool.

[Tom Griswold]

But once you get one, how do you open it up?

[Chick McGee]

Up right there must be. There's got to be a trick to it. Like somebody with a little magnet. That's all you need. It's the key. And you just put it on the exact spot you have to, and it pops open.

[Tom Griswold]

Probably a sawzall. Coming up, we have more nakedness in the news. We have a song from Patty G about pickleball. I want to get to because we have a pickleball update.

[Chick McGee]

I was humming that in the shower this morning, Patrick.

[Tom Griswold]

Were you? And we have beard news. That's kind of interesting. And once again, Mr. Oskar is going to be having his beard trimmed on the air with us next week.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, that'll be nice.

[Tom Griswold]

By a professional salon operative, esthetician. Is that what that's called, haircut lady? We'll find out. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Show Announcer]

You could win a 250Amazon gift card by taking our listener survey. We'd like to know what you like. Just go to bobandtom.com extra value meals are back.

[Tom Griswold]

That means 10 tender juicy McNuggets and.

[John Heffron]

Medium fries and a drink are just $8 only at McDonald's for a limited time only.

[Tom Griswold]

Prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska and California. And for delivery.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Jess Hooker in extraordinarily great mood. I am at the Silac Insurance Company news desk.

[Jess Hooker]

Pat and I are passing notes.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, There's Pat Godwin. Hello. Passing notes. There's Willie Griswold.

[Willie Griswold]

Hey, man.

[Chick McGee]

There's Josh Arnold.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

Back in the saddle again.

[John Heffron]

Boy, oh, boy.

[Pat Godwin]

Got the basics.

[Chick McGee]

Ace Cosby. I'm Chick mcgee at the Prize Pick sports desk. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

The answer to your question, Ms. Hooker.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

The origin of the term disc jockey.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It used for the first time, apparently in 1935. It appeared in Variety magazine. They're crediting Walter Winchell. Remember Walter Winchell? He was the guy did the voiceovers.

[Chick McGee]

On.

[Tom Griswold]

One of those.

[Chick McGee]

Did he?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, he.

[Chick McGee]

I know. He was the news guy for a long time.

[Bob Kevoian]

Played him in a cool movie.

[Chick McGee]

I thought he was before Cronkite. Did he work at cbs? Am I getting all this wrong?

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, he was way before.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, he was. I think a newspaper.

[Chick McGee]

I think he said, hello, Mr. Mrs. North American. All the ships at sea. Let's go to press flash.

[Tom Griswold]

What's the cop show? Where he would go and then they were down to Viru.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, Elliot Ness.

[Tom Griswold]

Elliot Ness.

[Chick McGee]

The Untouchables, I think that was.

[Tom Griswold]

In any event, Walter Winchell allegedly coined it. The word jockey means, like to manipulate machinery. Apparently, early radio stations tended to play live bands. Recorded music wasn't considered as prestigious.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, wow.

[Tom Griswold]

So when they started, as they say, spinning discs, they needed a name. That's where disc jockey apparently emerged. So it's been around for quite some time. But. And as I indicated, this article also says that club DJs emerged in the 70s. And now a DJ really means someone who's doing the live manipulation of discs and mixing them them in a live format.

[Jess Hooker]

Right. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

As opposed to what this is, which is something vastly different. Now, are we going to move to the sports page or do you have another letter over.

[Chick McGee]

Dear Bob and Tom Show, I love your new Tom is an alien sent to Earth to assimilate among Earth creatures segment. And we have a new Tom. Our new feature on the Bob and Tom Show. Tom is an alien. And here's further proof. Time now for the alien who just discovered things here on Earth.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, you can use a credit card now to buy a Coke.

[Bob Kevoian]

Man, out of context, these are fantastic.

[Chick McGee]

Just amazing. By the way, another good snippet. This writer. Yesterday's episode, Tom explaining how to make toast. It was Elvis's PB and banana sandwich, but Tom explained how to make toast. Toast made me laugh really hard. And he's. He's done this again.

[Tom Griswold]

It's important if you're making the deep fried peanut butter and banana sandwich. Elvis's. I heard an interview with Elvis's cook and she would make to make it out of toast, then deep fry it. So that will certainly affect the crunch factor. What did you. What did you call it? Toothsome.

[Jess Hooker]

Toothsome bite.

[Tom Griswold]

Some toothsome bites. Sounds delicious. Now, Josh also missed a story. Story yesterday about pickleball. It's been banned in. Where is it? Carmel by the Sea.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, sir. Where Clint Eastwood used to be mayor. Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Apparently it's, I guess, too noisy.

[Bob Kevoian]

Too noisy?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

The paddles.

[Chick McGee]

The sound of the ball.

[Bob Kevoian]

Williams sisters playing.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Is it the paddles or the grunting?

[Chick McGee]

I think it's the paddles hitting the story. I read it. I thought it was the ball hitting the paddle.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

That's how I understood it.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But grunty pickleball's gotten very popular and in some cases they're replacing tennis courts with pickleball courts. The gym that Pat and I go to got rid of one of the basketball courts. And both of them.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now they've been looking for an excuse, hadn't they?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And it's. But it's. And it's. It's full. It's full all day.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey, I'm not pro that. I'm just saying.

[Chick McGee]

You're just reporting.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Pat, you wanted to give this little tribute.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, there's pickleball and then there's pickleball. Naked pickleball, sweaty in the summer, nippy in the fall. Playing pickleball. Naked pickleball, except for shoes. They're wearing nothing at all. Flapping parts in private places, meemaws, hoo ha's in their faces. Incontinence in eventuality at the senior's nudist colony Playing pickleball, naked pickleball Gramps Micro Dickel is mine it's small Playing pickleball, naked pickleball Try not to fall on your pickling balls Boobs are flopping, knees are bruised, Hips replaced and backs are fused Sagging sacks are waving in the breeze Take one to the nuts and you're down on your knees Playing pickleball, naked pickleball Trip and fall and an ambulance is called Playing pickleball, naked pickleball Past their prime in the O. Natural pickleball's all the rage Folks of a certain age but nudity is best left to the Y.

[Chick McGee]

To the Y.

[Pat Godwin]

Look at them having fun wrinkling in the sun I had no idea saw was so well, hungry ball naked pickleball Better than a swim or walk in the mall Playing pickleball, naked pickleball Mr. Clem, Thelma and Big D, Saul.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you very much.

[Tom Griswold]

Why are they clapping?

[Chick McGee]

Big D. Saul. Tom.

[Bob Kevoian]

There's my racket.

[Tom Griswold]

Forest Hill park and Carmel. Excuse me. Carmel by the sea, according to mayor Dale Byrne.

[Chick McGee]

And that's all hyphen, by the way. Hyphenated.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I didn't.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it is in the story as well. I did not know that. But yeah, it's. They're going to be voting on a permanent ban at a later date, so apparently the pickleballs. Making too much racket.

[Chick McGee]

Speaking of the olders. Oh, making too much racket. Dear Bob, at Tom show. I heard you're talking about. Conversations are hard to hear in restaurants. I think I said something about that yesterday. And Tom, you joined in.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that was a topic we covered, Josh.

[Bob Kevoian]

And it's also a little chilly in movie theaters.

[Chick McGee]

That's right. I am a older gentleman with substantial hearing loss. I have ordered a set of hearing aids that are not only Bluetooth compatible. I think you're going to love this, Tom. But also have an app attached to the hearing aid. When in the restaurant, I can go to the app and click on restaurant mode.

[Tom Griswold]

Whoa.

[Chick McGee]

This blocks out all background noise and I can clearly hear conversations at the table.

[Bob Kevoian]

Amazing.

[Chick McGee]

How about them apples?

[Tom Griswold]

I got them.

[Chick McGee]

Do you have those? It doesn't really, really work to a degree.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

No kidding.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. There's a bunch of different modes. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Do you. You. You must love those.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they're kind of cool.

[Chick McGee]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

I can't wear them in here, though, because you can't wear them when you're wearing headphones.

[Chick McGee]

Sure, sure.

[Tom Griswold]

But, yeah, this is from wearing headphones, being a quote unquote DJ all these years, your hearing tends to get a little bit.

[Chick McGee]

Being a rocker, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, Rock and all these rocker up now we're gonna. Oh, give me the teaser on the sports page.

[Chick McGee]

We had a Thursday night football game last night. I'll give you a hint. Houston won and Josh Allen did not have a good evening. He and the offensive line might be talking later today. We'll have an update on that. Baylor athletic director in Waco, Texas and the NBC network has announced national games on NBC, Peacock, Amazon Prime Video or espn. New ratings highs for college football. All right through the roof.

[Tom Griswold]

Speaking of great ratings, one of the top rated entertainment shows, if not the top rated every year is anyone want to guess football not on besides NFL games.

[Bob Kevoian]

The Macy's Day Parade.

[Tom Griswold]

Exactly. Really? The Macy's Day Parade.

[Chick McGee]

No kidding.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, I know I have it on. I always like it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. We're gonna find out some really interesting details about not just the Macy's Day Parade, but about Thanksgiving in general.

[Chick McGee]

You know, that's a big damn deal when the, the balloons are inflated and people go down and that's like their holiday, part of their holiday.

[Tom Griswold]

The early days of that parade at this sounds. This is actually.

[Chick McGee]

Well, you, you were probably there.

[Tom Griswold]

I was. They would let the balloons go.

[Bob Kevoian]

You mean they were done with Snoopy?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but it wasn't. I don't think it was the really nice Snoopy. I think they were kind of primitive. But yeah, they just let them.

[Chick McGee]

No kidding.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they let them go up.

[Chick McGee]

That's fascinating.

[Tom Griswold]

And then they put a size restriction on them after that incident a couple decades.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh.

[Chick McGee]

With the light standard or whatever it.

[Tom Griswold]

Was, there were some issues. But we'll be finding out some cool Thanksgiving facts and we have Thanksgiving potato chips to try in here. A couple quick facts about this weekend. Pat Godwin, Youngstown Funny Farm. That's gonna be tonight and tomorrow night. And Patty G. You can find ticket [e-mail] Willie G. Hey. Exclusively Saturday night, it's called Bombs Away Comedy in Cincinnati. [e-mail] Al Jackson @ the Funny Bone in Syracuse. And Mark Chalafou, who was here yesterday, is going to be in Goshen, Indiana at the Funny Farm. And lastly, a little Timmy Kavanaugh is out there with Emo Phillips and those guys I was gonna. Where are they? I forgot for where they went. I'll find out. I've already.

[Chick McGee]

And by the way, Josh, if you're wondering. Yes, he said that every time he said Mark Shalafu's name. Yesterday he said Shallafu.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, yeah, it's. It's not a bad defense mechanism when you, when you're not quite sure how to say somebody's name. It's just to be silly.

[Tom Griswold]

One time I said shalafo.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, no.

[Tom Griswold]

Because it looks like it's his fault.

[Jess Hooker]

A little.

[Tom Griswold]

Timmy Cavanaugh with Emo Phillips at the Ann Arbor Comedy Club this weekend.

[Chick McGee]

There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, I got it. Okay, once again, it's time to check in with our steak man. He's Josh Arnold.

[Bob Kevoian]

I am Steakman. That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

I am steak man.

[Bob Kevoian]

Don't, don't, don't, don't. I am Iron skillet man.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, nice.

[Bob Kevoian]

Put your Omaha Steaks at me. I do love Omaha Steaks in me. I'll be honest. Who doesn't? From holiday hosting to unforgettable gifts, Omaha Steaks delivers the world's best steak experience. And I love that word. It is more than just food. It's more than just a meal. It's a whole experience. The cooler arrives, you open it up, you get it all prepared there. You get your friends and family over. And my gosh, if you're not enjoying USDA certified tender steaks, juicy burger, cozy and convenient comfort meals like that, meat lovers, lasagna, and so much more, right now, it's their sizzle all the way sale. You can get 50% off site wide at Omaha steaks.com plus Bob and Tom show listeners get an extra $35 off with promo code BTS at checkout. You know, Thanksgiving, obviously around the corner, you're going to be pretty tired of tough turkey. You're going to be a little sick of some of the Thanksgiving leftovers. Why not have a nice big batch of Omaha steaks there so that you can cook them up on that Saturday or Sunday after Thanksgiving for a nice change of pace. Everyone's gonna love it. Holiday magic is made easy with Omaha Steaks. Plus orders placed by 6pm Eastern ship same day. This is the perfect time to save on delicious gifts and all those holiday hosting favorites. Five generations are behind the uncompromising quality. Omaha Steaks also carries chicken, pork, seafood, and delicious desserts. This next part, they want me. It says please read verbatim and if I'm correct, verbatim means in a silly accent.

[Chick McGee]

Save for big on the gourmet of gifts.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, no. It means as oh, sorry. Save big on gourmet gifts and more holiday favorites with Omaha Visit Omaha Steaks.com for 50% off site wide. That's half off everything. It's their sizzle all the way sale. And for an extra $35 off, use promo code BTS at checkout. Term supply C site for details. That's Omaha steaks dot com. Use promo code BTS at checkout. I will talk to them about allowing me to use different accents from here on out.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, good. What's the next one coming up?

[Bob Kevoian]

The next one I have is Mandarin. Let me see. Writing me back. I. Oh, oh, I can't read these.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much. You could do. Maybe you could do French.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you very much.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes, I think French is still.

[Tom Griswold]

That'd be okay. Medium rare. Now, coming up, we have a. A disturbing story about a new trend in. In makeup for the ladies. It's called menstrual masking.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, no. Is it what we think it is?

[Jess Hooker]

It is. Unfortunately, it is.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, no.

[Tom Griswold]

You can, you can imagine the source on this, of course, the Internet. These are the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom show.

[John Heffron]

At New Balance.

[Jess Hooker]

We believe if you run, you're a runner.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

However you choose to do it.

[John Heffron]

Because when you're not worried about doing.

[Tom Griswold]

Things the right way, you're free to discover your way. And that's what running is all about.

[Jess Hooker]

Run your [e-mail] running.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Jess Hooker. Hi. She's at the Silac Insurance news desk. There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

There's Willie Griswold.

[Tom Griswold]

Yo, yo.

[Chick McGee]

Josh Arnold returns.

[Bob Kevoian]

All right. And that was as good a news as you've given us in a while news.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

That's the way the pros do it. There's Josh at the I hate Steven Singer, sidekick chair. There's Ace Cosby. I'm Chick mcgee at the Prize Picks sports desk. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Before we get to sports. All right, sir, There would have been a way to segue to this. Back in earlier times, I could have said, you are a Redskins fan.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

But now they're, of course, no longer the Redskins.

[Chick McGee]

They're just the Washington football team.

[Tom Griswold]

The Washington. The commanders. You say so, but we have a story from the world of menstrual cycles. It's something called. This is from Science Alert. It's called menstrual masking.

[Chick McGee]

Are you heading towards the term red skin?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, when you hear it, this is a. This is a viral thing out there, right, Ms. Hooker?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Health experts are warning against a new viral trend called menstrual masking. According to Science Alert, social media influencers have been touting the practice of applying menstrual blood to the skin like a face mask as a form of DIY skin care.

[Willie Griswold]

That's not what I thought this was going to be at all. And it's way gross.

[Bob Kevoian]

Closer. Yeah, I thought it was gonna be.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I thought it was like pretending you had your period for sympathy. The way people mask and like, act like someone else.

[Willie Griswold]

So you guys do do that, don't you?

[Tom Griswold]

It's not just for sympathy. It's there, there are certain ladies that do it so they won't have to be.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, sexually active. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, that too. That's what I, I, that's actually what I thought it was. I didn't know it was this.

[Tom Griswold]

No, it's, it's applying a mask of your own. Own. I'm assuming it's your own.

[Jess Hooker]

I got. I hope so.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, you don't. Hey, Dolores, you gotta.

[Bob Kevoian]

Of your own men.

[Willie Griswold]

Is this in the same way that some people like, will eat the placenta because there's supposed to be nutrients in it?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

They say there's stem cells and proteins that rejuvenate your skin. And they can buy, they're doing it.

[Chick McGee]

They can make pills out of the placenta.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, you can dry it.

[Tom Griswold]

But this is, this is the, the application of your own menstrual blood to your face. If you keep reading, they have a, a licensed physician who says why you shouldn't do this.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Dr. Sherene Idris, a board certified dermatologist, warns that putting period blood on your face runs the risk of getting various infections including herpes, chlamydia in your eye or cellulitis.

[Bob Kevoian]

There's a little chlamydia in your eye or cellulitis.

[Tom Griswold]

I did a little more research and it's only effective with virgin blood. So if you're going to do this, you're going to have to borrow it.

[Bob Kevoian]

Wow. All right.

[Jess Hooker]

Well, there's that.

[Tom Griswold]

This is incredible.

[Bob Kevoian]

Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's just her period on her face.

[Chick McGee]

They did have that slogan, didn't they? I forget who that was. Maybe, maybe she was born that way.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, Susie, your eyes are a little bloodshot. Oh, man.

[Jess Hooker]

I have done some weird stuff. Stuff.

[Tom Griswold]

But this is just.

[Jess Hooker]

I'm out.

[Tom Griswold]

Everything is on the Internet and almost all of it's wrong.

[Bob Kevoian]

Jess, let me teach you a little bit about menstruation. You see what happens it's the sloughing of the uterine wall.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, that's what happened.

[Bob Kevoian]

You looked confused.

[Tom Griswold]

Isn't it kind of a hint when your body gets rid of something?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, you don't.

[Bob Kevoian]

Right. I mean, exactly right.

[Jess Hooker]

It's carrying toxins.

[John Heffron]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

At some point I'm sure there's. God knows there's probably someone who takes their own fecal material and makes it. They think it makes. Again, your body is going, we don't want this.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's why nature really did at one point decided that poop should smell bad.

[Tom Griswold]

Exactly. Oh, that's exactly.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's like a thing. It's like. Yeah, it's. But now we all know. So now I feel like nature can quit making it smell so bad. Look, we're not going to eat it or wear it.

[Chick McGee]

Wouldn't you agree?

[Bob Kevoian]

Can you. We promise.

[Tom Griswold]

I like you saying this like a.

[Willie Griswold]

Kid pitching a sleepover to his mom. We're not going to do anything bad.

[Chick McGee]

Wouldn't you agree though that it never smells quite as bad to you as it does.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, sure.

[Chick McGee]

Others. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

As was it Fat Bastard said in the Austin Powers movie, everyone kind of likes their own brand?

[Chick McGee]

Their own brand. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I beg to differ.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, there are some where you're like, get me out of here immediately. You sure?

[Tom Griswold]

But would you suppose someone is going to take this up and make it a. Available over the counter instead of using your own if it's not? Because obviously if you're using your own menstrual, you'd only be able to do it. You'd only be able to do it a few. A few times. Obviously. A few days. You got about five days a month. Excuse me.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So I mean, I can sort of see this.

[Chick McGee]

Yay.

[Jess Hooker]

That they could make a synthetic one.

[Tom Griswold]

And have you tried Ant Flows Menstrual cycle liquid just for you.

[Jess Hooker]

Well, I've done the. The micro. The. The needling where they create micro abrasion.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

And they create these little. Basically, I don't know, the needle goes in and it's bloody and they kind of rub the blood into your face.

[Bob Kevoian]

After a little bit of a vampire facial.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes, that's what it is. Thank you.

[Chick McGee]

Why don't you cut your finger and put your finger in your mouth, stop the blood or. No, you never do that.

[Jess Hooker]

But they say you're supposed to. That's what's going to stop.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Saliva does have some help.

[Chick McGee]

You clot or something.

[Jess Hooker]

That's why animals lick their wounds.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I remember. I don't have the story in front of me. But I remember the vampire facial thing.

[Bob Kevoian]

Kim Kardashian tried it or something. One of the Kardashians.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, here we go. Yeah. Health officials say three women contracted HIV infections getting vampire facials at an office.

[Bob Kevoian]

Maybe don't go to Haiti and get it.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, I had a group on.

[Tom Griswold]

It was. It was actually in Albuquerque. According to this.

[Bob Kevoian]

They call. You know, they call Albuquerque Little Haiti.

[Chick McGee]

That's weird.

[Tom Griswold]

I didn't know that. Oh, man.

[Chick McGee]

We're having fun.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. Be careful. My gosh. But you're right, Tom. If your body is getting rid of something, it's because it no longer needs or wants it.

[Jess Hooker]

And.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Shouldn't have it.

[Tom Griswold]

So did you do the vampire facial?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I did the micro abrasion. What you said like it was. Yeah, I guess that was a vampire facial. Yeah. And it's supposed to create these tiny little wounds that heal and create.

[Bob Kevoian]

I had it done on my scalp.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

It was like it was Guantanamo esque.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

I mean, it was painful.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, it is.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. As you can see, all my hair grew back.

[Tom Griswold]

So would you. You got it on your ass. Maybe try it at the top of your head next.

[Bob Kevoian]

I should.

[Tom Griswold]

You. If you go for the vampire facial, does the status. What do they call them? Esthetician? Wear a cape. I'd like you. I'd like you to count.

[Bob Kevoian]

Down, please.

[Tom Griswold]

The first time I saw the count on the Muppets, I just was only wishing that I'd been four years old when this came out.

[Chick McGee]

Well, you have to the best.

[Tom Griswold]

So great. Great and so funny. And I was just at Disney World last week and did you know that the Rock and Roller Coaster, which features the. The band Aerosmith, is going to become the Muppet Roller Coaster?

[Jess Hooker]

That'll be so fun.

[Tom Griswold]

They're going to close it up, I think in early January and it'll open a few months.

[Willie Griswold]

Why would they change that? The kids aren't vibing with Aerosmith anymore.

[John Heffron]

Apparently every 8 year old girl I.

[Willie Griswold]

Know goes to Steven Tyler for Halloween. Scarves on the mic stand, looks like a lady.

[Jess Hooker]

Part of the ride, in all truth.

[Tom Griswold]

If you've ever ridden it. When you walk in, there's little. They have like a movie with the guys from Aerosmith and it's a fake studio. I'm totally serious when I say this. When we went in, there was a malfunction and so the movie played like four times.

[Chick McGee]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

And they kept going, okay, we're getting a repair done. And then they kept playing it. So the. The Kid in front of me looked at his dad and said, who are those guys?

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, sure. Yeah. Why wouldn't they?

[Tom Griswold]

But I also also heard a rumor from someone in the know that the. I guess Aerosmith sold their rights to their music and the new rights holder wanted a lot more money.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

So that. Not that I think Disney could probably afford it, but. Yeah, it's a little dated.

[Jess Hooker]

It'll be fun with the Muppets.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, it'll be great. But I'm so upset they took away the Muppet 3D movie.

[Bob Kevoian]

I know. Why would they get rid of it?

[Tom Griswold]

I have. I have seen that at least 50 times. That was every time I go. I would. I would sit through it, usually twice.

[Bob Kevoian]

They had a real Statler in Waldorf there. They had a real Sweetums. That was the great.

[Chick McGee]

Well, now you know how I feel. When they shuttered Captain eo, I know you were hurt. Yeah, I'd go there every year to see Captain He.

[Tom Griswold]

That wasn't up very long, was it?

[Chick McGee]

I'm in this fake scenario. I'm not sure how long it was.

[Tom Griswold]

What do you suppose is the shortest lived attraction there? That Dick Tracy thing bombed.

[Pat Godwin]

The R. Kelly splash.

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[Bob Kevoian]

That didn't last long. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

We're having a serious conversation.

[Tom Griswold]

I am too.

[Chick McGee]

That Diddy.

[Bob Kevoian]

Ky. Slippery stairs.

[Tom Griswold]

Those didn't last long.

[Bob Kevoian]

Many people got hurt.

[Chick McGee]

How much?

[Willie Griswold]

KY EP's Island Adventure. They got rid of that one pretty quick.

[Tom Griswold]

Hell, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Which is a shame. It was essentially just. It's a small.

[John Heffron]

Very good.

[Pat Godwin]

Shaped like a.

[Chick McGee]

They just made the boats a little bigger.

[Tom Griswold]

And because I had. My kids are the ones that we took. We took a bunch of them, ages like 9 to 12. So none of them would go to the hall of President. President's with me.

[Jess Hooker]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Willie would have at least gone to the hall of Presidents with me.

[Willie Griswold]

Love the invite.

[Bob Kevoian]

He could have gone, oh, geez. It was just a matter of being with dad.

[Chick McGee]

Get the guitar.

[Tom Griswold]

One of my favorite pictures is me, Sam and Willie in front of. What is it? The Dolphin Hotel, I think.

[Chick McGee]

I'm not sure what that is.

[Tom Griswold]

We've been there.

[Pat Godwin]

Yellowed picture I keep on my nightstand.

[Bob Kevoian]

Cut to that picture and it's your dad with heart and fins.

[Tom Griswold]

Now.

[John Heffron]

It is.

[Tom Griswold]

Admittedly, it's a. It's a.

[John Heffron]

Wait, is this the picture where you're.

[Willie Griswold]

On your cell phone?

[Tom Griswold]

No, it was pre sell. It's pre. It's. You're like nine. But it's. I mean, the. The backstory is we were frantically trying to finish an album and I Had I farmed you guys off to somebody else? That I stayed in my room the whole time on the phone with pj.

[Chick McGee]

Nice.

[Tom Griswold]

But, yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Hey, you got Mexican for lunch yesterday. You should. You should be happy. All right.

[Chick McGee]

His favorite memory.

[Willie Griswold]

That was a great photo, I guess.

[Chick McGee]

Sitting in a room in Orlando in the shadow of Disney World, talking to pj.

[Jess Hooker]

And he just made sure you were having fun, though.

[Tom Griswold]

No, we had a guy went out. I bet there was a classic story from that, though.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Better than this one.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. You remember we would always stay at the Dolphin in the swamp.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Beautiful spot right there. It's right off of Epcot Cot.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Remember, walk there and.

[Bob Kevoian]

No, no, no.

[Jess Hooker]

We didn't get to do that.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[Bob Kevoian]

You put your sugar in your coffee already.

[Willie Griswold]

You're like.

[Bob Kevoian]

We let the first four minutes go.

[Pat Godwin]

We were very, very polite for a while.

[Bob Kevoian]

Remember?

[Tom Griswold]

Remember I told you I was going deaf?

[John Heffron]

I can't hear that.

[Bob Kevoian]

Driving. Checking their glove compartment for rattlesnakes.

[John Heffron]

Didn't you have a system where it.

[Pat Godwin]

Was in a bowl?

[Chick McGee]

All right, all right.

[Tom Griswold]

Here's my Splenda. It's in the bowl. Now shut up.

[Chick McGee]

The garage union and the garage union is very excited. They keep telling people, something's wrong with my car. So.

[Tom Griswold]

Sorry. So at the Swan and the Dolphin Hotel, there used to be a. They had a pay phone, and it was right by the. Between the men's room and the ladies room. It kind of go around the corner. And I was going back and forth with pj doing the. The printing for the album. But in those. This was a time in which. I don't know if you remember this, but when you'd make a phone call. Call. You would. You would give this 800 number. Remember this?

[Jess Hooker]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. To make long distance calls.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

And you'd pump in this number. Well, I. I was at the phone, and I. It didn't. It wasn't accepting the number. So I. I got an op. The operator came on. She goes, well, what's your card number? And you would give this phone card number, and it would charge it to your phone.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

So I did that. Didn't think much about it. A couple weeks later, I'm here in the building. I get off the air, and there's cops out front. And we figured out what happened. Someone was in the bushes writing down that number I gave, listening.

[Bob Kevoian]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

And. But here's what the guy goes. Did you make a phone call about a shipment from heroin from Africa to Israel?

[Chick McGee]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

And they had all these all this drug deal going from Africa to Israel. And all the numbers were on my phone card.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, crazy.

[Tom Griswold]

But it was turned out to be a good album. And PJ did a nice job with.

[Jess Hooker]

The typesetting and the kids had fun at Disney.

[Tom Griswold]

And these days that's all that's gone. The pay phones are gone. You don't have to set the type like that anymore. Yeah, but it's a fond memory.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes, but.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, no, Willie, Willie, William spent many a day in the. At the Swan and the Dolphin hotels.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. We'll bring it out on our next trip to Disney. It was awesome. It was great.

[Jess Hooker]

Next time, buddy.

[Chick McGee]

Next time. Next time. He'll get you.

[Tom Griswold]

Now would you. Would you have gone to the hall of Presidents with me?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Because the little girls say no. We want to go ride.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, yeah, you can.

[Tom Griswold]

Tron again.

[Jess Hooker]

Are you a roller coaster kid?

[Willie Griswold]

You know what? I haven't been on a roller coaster in years. I definitely used to be.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Willie Griswold]

Now I'd have an upset tummy I'm worried about, you know.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, and maybe we should do a trip. When they reopen the rock and roller coaster with them.

[Jess Hooker]

We can all go.

[Tom Griswold]

That'd be fun.

[Jess Hooker]

All of us.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if we win the lottery and raise the funds.

[Willie Griswold]

Well, I can't. We can't all go. It wouldn't be a Griswold vacation unless two people were left out.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Or four.

[Tom Griswold]

Nothing on that one.

[Jeff Oskay]

I thought that was a good time.

[Chick McGee]

For the cuts in the cradle spoon.

[Tom Griswold]

What's coming up in sports?

[Chick McGee]

Daddy, daddy, don't you walk so fast. NFL Gabe last night. Let's see. Do we have a world record? Yes, we do.

[Tom Griswold]

We got a great comedian coming in. John Heffer.

[Chick McGee]

A hundred year old people will be.

[Tom Griswold]

Our guest Godwin this weekend. Youngstown Funny Bones starting tonight. Tonight and tomorrow [e-mail] in Youngstown, Ohio. Willie G. Cincinnati, Ohio. Bombsawaycomedy.com for information and location on that one. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Show Announcer]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Even though we're not too much to look at. You can also go watch the show on our YouTube channel.

[Tom Griswold]

Eczema is unpredictable, but you can flare less with Epglis, a once monthly treatment for moderate to severe eczema.

[Jess Hooker]

After an initial four month or longer.

[Tom Griswold]

Dosing phase, about 4 in 10 people taking ECGLIS achieved itch relief and clear or almost clear skin at 16 weeks and most of those people maintain skin that's still more clear at one year with monthly dosing. Emplis Lebricizumab LBKZ, a 250 milligram per 2 milliliter injection, is a prescription medicine used to treat adults and children 12 years of age and older who weigh at least 88 pounds or 40 kilograms with moderate to severe eczema, also called atopic dermatitis, that is not well controlled with prescription therapies used on the skin or topicals or who cannot use topical therapies. EBGLIS can be used with or without topical corticosteroids. Don't use if you're allergic to ebglis. Allergic reactions can occur that can be severe. Eye problems can occur. Tell your doctor if you have new or worsening eye problems. You should not receive a live vaccine when treated with ebglis. Before starting ebglis, tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection action.

[Jess Hooker]

Ask your doctor about F Gliss and.

[Tom Griswold]

Visit fgliss lily.com or call 1-800-LilyRx or 1-800-545-5979. Thank you very much.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Top show at the News Center. There's Jess Hooker.

[Jess Hooker]

Here I am.

[Chick McGee]

There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

There's Willie Griswold.

[Willie Griswold]

Hey, man.

[Chick McGee]

There's Josh Arnold.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

Ace Cosby.

[Bob Kevoian]

Abby.

[Chick McGee]

I am Chick McGee. And hello to.

[Tom Griswold]

It's not just any News center. That's the SILAC Insurance News center with Jess Hooker sitting in for Christy Lee. And Josh is back.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hi. Thanks for all your well wishes at.

[Tom Griswold]

The Steven Singer sidekick chair and desk with a little case of bronchitis.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. On the mend.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Glad you're glad you're feeling better. We've got a Patty G And Willie G over there and Chick McGee.

[Chick McGee]

Hi.

[Tom Griswold]

Is over there as you can see him at the prize pick sports desk. Let's get a little bit of sporting news.

[Chick McGee]

Texans dominant defense sack Josh out Allen eight times. Kalyn Bullock, a defensive back for Houston, forced three turnovers, including his second interception, sealing the Texans 23:19 win over the Buffalo Bills. Hope you had Houston. Plus the five. After Allen took consecutive sacks on the Bill's final possession, they faced 4th and 27 and remarkably gained 44 yards on a short pass from Allen to Josh Paul Palmer. Who the old pitchy pitchy woo Tom. They. They started running around the field and it worked. Khalil Shakir. But on another fourth down, Josh Allen Threw an interception. And Bill's fans have the blues today.

[Tom Griswold]

Sacked how many times? Eight.

[Chick McGee]

Eight times.

[Jess Hooker]

Whoa.

[Tom Griswold]

Thanks to the front line. Nice job, fellas.

[Chick McGee]

You know, that does. Are they professionals? Do they all go, hey, we all have, you know, as a team. We have to move. Or do they go, look, you stupid idiots?

[Bob Kevoian]

That's a good question.

[Chick McGee]

Here's an idea. Let's block somebody this time. Somebody make a play. But those guys are so big. What the hell's wrong with you people? You're big, too.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, sorry.

[Chick McGee]

But they get paid. And Baylor athletic director Mack Rhodes has resigned. Mac should be like a private investor.

[Bob Kevoian]

Investigator or Mac Rhodes.

[Chick McGee]

Tonight on Mack Rhodes. He'd have a. Interesting pickup truck and he'd live in a tent on the beach. On the beach.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

It would be a state park in, I'm going to say Brownsville, Texas.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Chick McGee]

There's your. There's your TV show. And anything can happen.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, boy.

[Chick McGee]

But he. He helps the little guy.

[Bob Kevoian]

But do you remember when his estranged sister showed up?

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Boy, she's never up to any good and full ass.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, but Mac loves her.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Played by the great Bonnie Bedelia.

[Chick McGee]

Amazing older sister, of course.

[Tom Griswold]

Bonnie Bedelia, of course. From then came Bronson.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, was she.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. And heart like a wheel.

[Chick McGee]

Shirley Chacha. I want to say choo. Choo. That's not right. Yeah, the drag race. Anyway, Mac stepped down last week from his role as chairman of the College Football Playoff selection coach committee. School president Linda Livingston said in a letter Thursday that Rhodes informed her of his decision to step away, effective immediately, the school and investigating unspecified allegations against him. I'm not going to specify them here because they're possibly somewhat lurid. The status of that investigation is unclear, Tom, but the College Football Playoff semi.

[Tom Griswold]

Uninterested, could be in. No, that's not true. I'm totally uninterested.

[Chick McGee]

Well, that brings us to Tom's something. He will be interested. Over 100 Australians aged 100 and older came. They came together, Josh.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, well, it's better than coming apart.

[Chick McGee]

To break the Guinness World record for the largest gathering of people aged a hundred or older.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, God, think about that. Just go to a local McDonald's at.

[Pat Godwin]

9Am Come to my gym.

[Chick McGee]

Think about that is what he just said.

[Tom Griswold]

Shout out, pickleball.

[Chick McGee]

Think about that.

[Tom Griswold]

But I mean, that's amazing.

[Chick McGee]

150 centenarians with a combined age of 15,000 years.

[Jess Hooker]

Whoa.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah, that's the math on that, isn't it?

[Bob Kevoian]

You think the reaper was standing nearby going, this is Is just too easy.

[Tom Griswold]

When they were counting, they had to count fast because it's the record. Oh, wait a minute.

[Chick McGee]

Tapping his wrist. Tick tock, people. Tick tock.

[Bob Kevoian]

Do you think the grim reaper ever has to, like, is done and retires and then has to pick a new grim reaper?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

And if so, if you were asked to be the new grim reaper, would you do it?

[Chick McGee]

I would. I would do it.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. I've got a list I'd start with. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, you got to follow the list. You can't just make up your own.

[Chick McGee]

As I understand it, though, the grim reaper, the new grim reaper, the old grim reaper has to actually really die finally at the new grim reaper's house. It's kind of like Santa Claus.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I see.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. You know, the old record was 70. Established in Italy. This was 150.

[Tom Griswold]

150 people all over the age of 100 in Australia. It's amazing. Okay, but they had a ramp.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, I bet.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

And a defibrillator.

[Chick McGee]

Each participant's age was verified through official identification and documents. And no one can fake those, with the oldest participant being 109.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, God.

[Chick McGee]

What did you say when you saw this story?

[Tom Griswold]

What?

[Chick McGee]

What did you say to yourself?

[Tom Griswold]

Like, wow. Wow, that's amazing.

[Bob Kevoian]

This. You think that's an oxygen tank?

[Tom Griswold]

This is an oxygen tank. See, they.

[Chick McGee]

They were in Australia.

[Tom Griswold]

You see? Very good.

[Willie Griswold]

I wonder if any of them, like, knew each other. Like, I've had.

[Bob Kevoian]

They must have.

[Willie Griswold]

I've had beef with that guy since 1932.

[John Heffron]

Dude, I hate that.

[Chick McGee]

You got a lot of balls showing up here. There's some of them.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'd love to go to Australia. Can't wait. Go next week.

[Pat Godwin]

Another case of Bron can read.

[Chick McGee]

You read right to left there. Did you know that?

[Bob Kevoian]

I didn't. I'll have to learn.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, you gotta read from the bottom up.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that sports?

[Chick McGee]

That is sports.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Thank you very much.

[Chick McGee]

I sense it should be. And it is.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, we have Ms. Jessica Hooker over there at the Silac Insurance news desk. What's going on over there?

[Jess Hooker]

A tick tock user is sharing his formula for producing flatulence at high volume.

[Bob Kevoian]

All right.

[Jess Hooker]

Calls it fart maxing. Fart maxing is the pursuit of creating the loudest, smelliest and most impressive farts possible.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. So we're talking OD and sound.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes. Mr. Allen Lynn went viral for his video that explains his fart maxing formula, which is when fiber and gut fermentation is greater than the digestion speed.

[Bob Kevoian]

Gut fermentation got A lot of kimchi, cabbage.

[Jess Hooker]

No, none of those things.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Do you guys want to hear what it is?

[John Heffron]

Sure.

[Jess Hooker]

One liquid salad pouch.

[Bob Kevoian]

All right.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay. Three hard boiled apples, eggs, one bottle of Topo chico, a green banana, one cup of cooked black beans, three raw.

[Bob Kevoian]

Garlic cloves, and just farting it up.

[Tom Griswold]

Yep.

[Willie Griswold]

There's no fun in this, though. Yeah, you want a fun fart because you were eating pizza, drinking beer with.

[Tom Griswold]

Your buddies all day.

[Willie Griswold]

You don't want to plan on it. This is doing homework for yourself.

[Bob Kevoian]

I like a mystery behind a really impressive.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, what is that?

[Chick McGee]

What's the.

[John Heffron]

Oh, what caused that?

[Chick McGee]

And part of the fun is you never know when it's going to happen.

[Bob Kevoian]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

You really can't control.

[Bob Kevoian]

There should always be a certain surprise.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but the best part about this is who was helping him for his fart factor?

[Bob Kevoian]

His grandmother or mother?

[Jess Hooker]

It was. It appears that Mr. Lynn's mother helped him with the experiment. My boy, she helped record the loudest of his gas.

[Bob Kevoian]

What would your mom have said, Dom, if you had asked her to record your. One of your farts?

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Bob Kevoian]

Would she have even dignified it with the response?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it would have been.

[Chick McGee]

But you know, who was there to listen to Tommy's f. That's right. Paula, his maid.

[Bob Kevoian]

I gave you too much sour.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I, I, I know Paula. Paula certainly could deliver.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, I bet.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, yeah. She was a big lady, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, she was big German.

[Chick McGee]

Do you like my big German womanly ass? Very.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, my jugs.

[Chick McGee]

I need help listing. Help me talk.

[Tom Griswold]

Can you imagine handing your mother a decibel meter?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And going, okay, here we go.

[Chick McGee]

All right, what are we up to now?

[Jess Hooker]

The loudest one was clocked at 93 decibels.

[Bob Kevoian]

I don't know too much about that, Tom. What's, what's, how is that pretty impressive?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, they, they compare it to a lawnmower.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, my God.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, it said it rivals a lawnmower.

[Bob Kevoian]

I wonder why he does this.

[Jess Hooker]

I don't know.

[Willie Griswold]

Everybody wants to be the best at something, man.

[Bob Kevoian]

I guess.

[Willie Griswold]

And this guy found a thing that not that many people are into, and he's the king.

[Bob Kevoian]

It doesn't sound like a great meal.

[Jess Hooker]

So you can rank farts on a. I mean, it looks like 83 out of 100 is what he got, which means that the gas was extreme but survivable.

[Bob Kevoian]

Pat, what's the fart situation in your apartment when your son, who's 14.

[John Heffron]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Is he just letting them fly and you kind of let him fly or.

[Pat Godwin]

Early on when he was a preteen, he thought it was funny and he did it a lot. Now he's a little more retired reserved.

[Bob Kevoian]

Which is more like you. You're not a big fan of I'm.

[Tom Griswold]

Not a fan at all.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Or this whole break even. However, you've got a song for us coming up. Comedian John Hefron will be joining us and we may be able to get some of that Tim Allen interview in today. I'm not sure. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom show.

[Show Announcer]

Want to share a letter or comment? Our email is Bob and Tom @bob&tom.com.

[Tom Griswold]

November is heating up for U.S. soccer.

[Chick McGee]

United States need to be a little more nasty. Make international friendlies for the men. Right?

[John Heffron]

Oh, Callum, that was nasty.

[Tom Griswold]

And a black Friday friendly for the women.

[Chick McGee]

Expectations have always been here for this team.

[Bob Kevoian]

We understand that.

[Tom Griswold]

Listen anywhere on the go with the Westwood One sports app. And for behind the scenes start stories.

[John Heffron]

Catch the U. S. Soccer podcast.

[Jeff Oskay]

Boy, do we have an episode for you.

[John Heffron]

Follow and listen on your favorite platform.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Jess Hooker filing her nails over there at the Silac insurance news desk.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello, Mr. McGee.

[Chick McGee]

Now are we going to have to separate you and Willie because you're over there passing notes?

[Jess Hooker]

No, that's Pat. We're good.

[Chick McGee]

No, but you guys were grab assing or something here.

[Jess Hooker]

Grab ass was not what was going on. We were actually making fun of all of the picks that Pat chews on.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, he does chew on his pig. Hey, Pat Godwin. How are you, buddy?

[Pat Godwin]

I'm good, Chick. It's cold in here.

[Tom Griswold]

Send heat.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that's right. There's Josh Arnold. He's at the I hate Steven Singer sidekick chair.

[Bob Kevoian]

Visit Steven Singer jewelers atIhateStevensinger.com to find out why he's the most trusted jeweler in America and the most hated jeweler in America by other jewelers. That's I Hate Stevensinger dot com.

[Chick McGee]

There's Ace Cosby. I am Chick McGee. Hello, Tom. We got a special guest. Long time no see.

[Jess Hooker]

So close.

[Bob Kevoian]

We used to be better at this, John.

[Chick McGee]

Be a lot better.

[Tom Griswold]

I pressed it.

[Chick McGee]

Nothing happened. There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

Comedian John Heffron joining us in the studio. Am I reckon saying winner of last comic standing a few years back?

[John Heffron]

Man, he made about almost 20 some years back.

[Tom Griswold]

So you're one of the first ones.

[John Heffron]

So at this point it's Like I won, you know, Hollywood Squares or Match Game, you know, or who do you trust? Yeah, just who do you trust?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, what's my line?

[John Heffron]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Veteran stand up comedian John Heffern has joined us in the studio. Studio. Haven't seen you for a while. What's happening in your life? You married, single man.

[John Heffron]

How do we catch up after 25 years? Well, we're dudes. I just look at you guys, I see everybody in here I haven't seen a while ago. Hey, what's up? What's up? We're caught up. Just like when I was 20 in here at, you know, 2000, you know, 2000s coming in here drunk. I was in bed by 9 last night. You know, I've reached that age of a con, you know, as a stand up, when they're like, okay, you got two shows Saturday, 7:30 and 9:45. I'm like, how about we do a 2 and a 4? Like that makes more sense to me, you know, I got nothing to say to 20 year old kids. What am I going to do? Pander? Hey, I do edibles. You do edibles. Take my shirt off. Like, I'm not, I'm a, like, I'm a grown adult. I'm not gonna. I don't care. What do you do? What do you do for a living? What do you do for a living? What do you do for a living? Are you guys with each other? You guys with each other? You guys with each other?

[Bob Kevoian]

Anyway, so there are, there's a whole generation that thinks that's what stand up is. Because of Instagram and all that.

[John Heffron]

Yeah. And it's sad. And I'm okay with it because, you know, I'm 56 and listen, just the older you get, the more invisible you start to become.

[Tom Griswold]

Of course.

[John Heffron]

Right? Like I, I'm at that age. I go to the grocery store, the door doesn't even open up for me because it just doesn't acknowledge that I exist anymore. As you know.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[John Heffron]

And then it's, you know, the young.

[Tom Griswold]

Girls don't look twice.

[John Heffron]

Not even like, you don't even. Like, my niece plays soccer for Michigan State and you go to those games and I just keep my head down because you don't want any girl to think he's, he's watching us. Yeah, well, you're playing a sport. Yeah, I'm not. You know, I'm not. But you're just, you're just the creepy guy no matter what. No.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you have Thanksgiving plans?

[John Heffron]

We're trying to figure that out because.

[Tom Griswold]

Because We.

[John Heffron]

We literally moved. Sold a farm in Michigan maybe about. Well, we sold it like three months ago. And then we found a. A move in ready house that we're not moved in yet. And it's been three months. You know, ripped up the carpeting. And I don't know if I should call the police because there's people have bled out on this carpet.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that'll happen.

[John Heffron]

You know, and just the whole moving thing, I like, I'm kind of addicted to Zillow. And when we sold our farm, I took so many pictures of our farm with drones and stuff. And then you go to Zillow and you look and you're like, do these people know their house is for sale? Like, this is the living room picture they went with.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, this is.

[John Heffron]

There's. There's a guy asleep on the couch with a cigarette in his mouth.

[Tom Griswold]

That's.

[John Heffron]

Yes, that's the living room picture. You go, let's go. There's a kid with a dumpy diaper and a one boot. That's. That's the. This should be sent to child services.

[Tom Griswold]

And not, you know, so you're moving. And the reason I brought it up is we have a very comprehensive list about Thanksgiving.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, we do.

[Tom Griswold]

And some of the exciting things about Thanksgiving that we've learned a couple things already. But. But this. This will give you some interesting facts.

[Chick McGee]

I thought we were ready.

[Jess Hooker]

We got four pages.

[Chick McGee]

What side not to you. Right.

[John Heffron]

Nothing in. In jello at all.

[Chick McGee]

That's what Tom said.

[Tom Griswold]

We're on the same page.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. That can go.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[John Heffron]

But nothing.

[Tom Griswold]

90 people. 90% of the people in the survey said they prefer the sides to the turkey, so. But these are just some facts about Thanksgiving. I thought you might find it bit a little lightning.

[Jess Hooker]

The first Thanksgiving was recorded in a letter. Almost everything known about the 1621 feast comes from a brief mention in a long letter written by Edward Winslow.

[Tom Griswold]

1621.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, sure. You've read the Winslow.

[Chick McGee]

Do you get the monthly Winslow?

[Bob Kevoian]

I do, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. That's the only way to keep. Keep up.

[John Heffron]

I get the text alerts, my phone, like, you want to stop this? Okay. Anyway, it was a cold winter. The what? However you talk in the 1600s. I don't know if you said date.

[Jess Hooker]

How many turkeys do you think are consumed on Thanksgiving Day?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, great guess. See?

[Pat Godwin]

80 million.

[Chick McGee]

350 million people. That's a pretty good guess. 90 million.

[Tom Griswold]

You think like one turkey for every three people?

[Pat Godwin]

No.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Is that too high?

[Jeff Oskay]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[John Heffron]

H. I'm from divorced parents, so I ate three turkeys, so that was three just for me. Had to go to grandma's and my mom's and my dad picked me up, so I'm at three. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that's a. That's a. A real truism about contemporary culture.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

How many. How many Thanksgivings are you going to?

[Jess Hooker]

46 million turkeys.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, wow.

[Chick McGee]

That was way.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Wine, beer, and whiskey are the most popular Thanksgiving drinks. Half of H, thanks to the divorces. Yeah. Americans typically consume more alcohol on Thanksgiving than on an average day. Averaging. This feels low. 2.7 drinks.

[John Heffron]

You think Thanksgiving was a time when most kids. Because we would go to my grandparents and then all the cousins.

[Jess Hooker]

Cousins, yeah.

[John Heffron]

We would sneak down into the. The grandpa basement that had that light that you went click. You had to pull me. It wasn't as nice as that. And then you'd find the booze.

[Jess Hooker]

Right.

[John Heffron]

And then everybody would have a little sip, and you're like, yeah, a teen. And then you'd come upstairs, and then you'd hang out at the little kid table and talk politics.

[Jess Hooker]

A little bit of a buzz. Yeah.

[John Heffron]

Yeah. I think Darth Vader had it right.

[Bob Kevoian]

On paper.

[Chick McGee]

On paper.

[John Heffron]

The EMP there is now. Did you.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you of the. Of the era where there was that long walk before the food came? You'd go outside and the. The marijuana walk, if you want.

[Chick McGee]

You know about the walk.

[Willie Griswold]

I've tried for years to keep the walk from you. How do you know?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, he's been telling us about it.

[Willie Griswold]

It's a good walk.

[Jess Hooker]

He's on to you.

[John Heffron]

It's got an apple tag in your.

[Willie Griswold]

I don't even think it's a walk now. I just think it's. You go down to the basement and you hit a secret little vape pen.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Willie Griswold]

I don't think people are going out in the cold anymore.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that takes some of the romance out of it.

[Willie Griswold]

You get too stinky. You don't got people looking at you funny. You got to talk to your aunt while you're high. That's never fun.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, God.

[Jess Hooker]

No, we didn't. I don't. We never had the walk. We had the shots in the garage, you know, before we started cooking.

[Chick McGee]

Shots in the garage, by the way.

[Tom Griswold]

That is the only place where Jell O is acceptable at Thanksgiving.

[John Heffron]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Jello shots, that would be okay, but.

[Jess Hooker]

Cranberry jello shots, The.

[Tom Griswold]

The. The jello thing, the movie mold with the bananas in it. No one wants it.

[Jess Hooker]

I don't even know if I've ever Had that.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, God.

[Bob Kevoian]

Shots in the garage. Had to have been a Bloodhound Gang song.

[John Heffron]

That is a good song. Yeah, that. We should make that.

[Jess Hooker]

It's a very real thing.

[John Heffron]

And I took her panties down.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey.

[Tom Griswold]

What just happened? What else have we got about Thanksgiving?

[Jess Hooker]

Red wine is the most popular Thanksgiving drink.

[Chick McGee]

No kidding.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. I guess it pairs well with the menu. I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

Is that.

[Bob Kevoian]

That right? I don't know anything about the pairings of the wines.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Fish and white, red and meat. I guess.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. A cab. Yeah.

[John Heffron]

Do you. Can I ask what. When you make your plate? Because I eat the same exact way that TV dinners were. Nothing touches on my plate. I have, you know, the turkey thing. And if I have like a brownie, I have to have a little piece of green bean that fell over in it, you know, so nothing touching.

[Jess Hooker]

But.

[John Heffron]

But then I see the people who just pile.

[Willie Griswold]

I do it KFC famous bowl style. You do a mashed potato layer and then a little Mac and cheese over here. Again, the walk before Thanksgiving helps you get inspired.

[Tom Griswold]

What's interesting is John Heffern just. I accidentally, I think, landed on something very interesting. The TV dinner. Do you have that fact.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Thanksgiving was inspired. Or inspired. The TV dinner. The first TV dinner.

[Chick McGee]

Oh.

[Jess Hooker]

Swanson used 200, 160 tons of leftover turkey to create the original frozen meals.

[Tom Griswold]

Nice.

[John Heffron]

Well, then, so there's the origin story.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And they had the. The original TV dinners. I don't know if I haven't had one in ages, but they had the aluminum foil, whatever. And they. It was all sectioned off. And remember, you'd have to peel back the apple crisp.

[John Heffron]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. That's the only one you could uncover.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[John Heffron]

And then your finger would burn from that steam that was underneath.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[John Heffron]

If you didn't. If you didn't do it right.

[Tom Griswold]

Chicks heard me tell this story before. My mother, of course, would never.

[Chick McGee]

Tom always wanted the TV dinner when he was growing up, but his mother. So my mom didn't care for the quality of food that was in.

[Tom Griswold]

You could. You could buy those. Whatever they're called, those. Those aluminum foil tray like things. So she would buy one and then she would make fresh, decent food and put it in the various sections.

[John Heffron]

I want to do that.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[John Heffron]

That's how I want to meal prep.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, That's a good idea.

[John Heffron]

Right into your seal top and put it in the freezer.

[Jess Hooker]

Perfect.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, man.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. That's a good mom.

[Jess Hooker]

That is a really good mom. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

That's nice. You had a Great.

[Bob Kevoian]

She did, you know, favors, I'll tell you that.

[Tom Griswold]

We'll get back to Thanksgiving and to our guest, great comedian John Heffron with us right now. John's on the road, by the way. He's got a bunch of other gigs coming up that would include Columbus, Ohio with The funny bone. The 28th and 29th of November, December 4 through 7, the St. Charles funny bone. You're familiar with that?

[Chick McGee]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

That's in Greater St. Louis. Cleveland, the famous hilarities On December 31, the big new Year's Eve show. Oh, that'll be great. Then it's the Comedy Works in Denver in early January and then Tacoma February 12th through the 14th. We've got Chick Magee right over there. Can you hear me?

[Chick McGee]

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[Tom Griswold]

We got a great guest. He's the hilariously funny John Hefron. So cool to see John again. And I'll give you those dates again in just a few minutes. I'll also remind you. Patty G On the road, Youngstown, Ohio tonight and tomorrow with the Funny farm. Go to funnyfarmcomedyclub.com for ticket information and Willie G. Tomorrow night, Cincinnati, Ohio, bombsawaycomedy.com hey, for the highly secret location and to get some tickets for yet another great show. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Jess Hooker at the Silac Insurance news desk.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Willie Griffin wall.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey man.

[Chick McGee]

There's Josh Arnold.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hi there.

[Chick McGee]

He's over there at the I hate Stephen Singer, sidekick chair. There's Ace Cosby. Howdy, I'm Chick McGee and hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Chick McGee, of course. @ your post the prize pick sports desk.

[Chick McGee]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

And in the interview loft we have comedian John Heffron, winner of last comic standing, great stand up comedian and one of the when you came here years ago, you had this really cool idea idea and I know you guys pulled it off. It was the, the, that guy.

[John Heffron]

Oh my God.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah.

[John Heffron]

I just wrote a article on whatever some social media thing that nobody even commented on. But I wrote a whole story about what happened. The short I came in here with an idea. It was a card game at the time where you passed out cards and the girls would go try to find the real life version of the cartoon of that guy.

[Tom Griswold]

So it would be like, like, like that guy would be for example, a guy with a ponytail.

[John Heffron]

Yeah. Like too old to be here guy or whatever. But this was whatever the math was. Nobody was, was selling stuff online. You had to fill out 35,000 pages, get this thing just to take one credit card order. So and then we had our phone set up our flip phones that you would get a chime every time that there was an order. So I come on the show and it's just, I just kind of mentioned it. I created this thing and we had to print them ourselves and stuff. And all of a sudden, chime, chime, chime, chime, chime. We sold after being on this show maybe tens of thousands of those Games. We were 21. We had to knock on the doors of everybody in our apartment complex to stuff envelopes. Oh for. It was one of the most craziest times of my life. We got my roommate, it's three o' clock in the morning. He's calling me. He's like, what did you do? What happened? We have more. Yeah. And we had to hand write everyone we sent out because there wasn't printer. Like it was a thing.

[Tom Griswold]

It was a fun game and it's Like a bachelorette party thing where you'd look for that. Who are some of the other.

[John Heffron]

Yeah. I don't know if the game could exist out. Because one. It was called that guy. So the pronoun for some people is automatically off. Guy who likes guys. Guys. That wouldn't pass today.

[Tom Griswold]

I think it would.

[John Heffron]

Sweaty dancer guy. Told to be there.

[Chick McGee]

Here.

[John Heffron]

Here's how old the game is. Pager and phone on. Belt guy. Remember when you rocked out the bat? The whole bat thing. Sweaty dancer guy. We had so many.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, it was so funny. So funny. Sean Heon's our guest. We were talking about Thanksgiving. We have just a few more here. Handy Thanksgiving. Facts of interest, I think.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. The Detroit Lions play football every Thanksgiving. The Lions have played on Thanksgiving annually since 1934, except during World War II.

[Tom Griswold]

It's one of the. One of the traditions they're keeping.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, right.

[Tom Griswold]

Remember, it used to be the opening baseball game was the Reds. Whoever was always the Reds.

[Bob Kevoian]

12:30.

[Tom Griswold]

So the NFL's kept that one.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a good thing.

[Jess Hooker]

Green bean casserole was invented by the Campbell Soup Company Company.

[Bob Kevoian]

Nobody's buying cream of mushroom. We have to come up with something.

[Chick McGee]

I need ideas. Let's have ideas right now. Ten on my desk by five.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes, Mr. Campbell.

[Tom Griswold]

One of my early recipes. A can of Campbell's cream of mushroom soup and noodles and a can of tuna fish. Wonderful.

[Bob Kevoian]

It worked great.

[Jess Hooker]

Well, that's essentially tuna noodle casserole.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay, so they work. It is cream of mushroom.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, it's cream of mushroom. Some people use cream. Cream of chicken, too, I feel like.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay, but what's your. You didn't.

[Chick McGee]

No, no, no, no.

[Tom Griswold]

With it.

[Bob Kevoian]

We have.

[Chick McGee]

He's angling to want to be. He's the guy.

[Tom Griswold]

One of the first things. One of the first things I learned to cook.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I see.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but it's. That's a. You don't want to use cream of chicken soup if you're putting tuna fish in there.

[Jess Hooker]

You can, because the chicken, it's.

[Tom Griswold]

You can't mix that. You're crossing.

[Bob Kevoian]

Chicken of the land and the sea.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

You can do it.

[Jess Hooker]

I promise.

[Chick McGee]

Surfing.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Didn't you. You did that with chicken. Chicken one time, too. Don't you put chicken in there with.

[Tom Griswold]

With chicken soup? Yeah, yeah. Tuna noodle casserole is great. Then you take a burnzomatic torch when you pull it out of the oven and you crisp the top.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, that's good.

[Bob Kevoian]

We just called it tuna casserole. The noodle was implied but you guys say tuna noodle cat.

[Jess Hooker]

We do say tuna.

[John Heffron]

I just picture some guy like, making that. Not you, but like some guy just in there in his son about six, is staring, going, that's not. That's not how mom did it. And he just looked at her. Mom is gone. She left us. She left us.

[Jess Hooker]

That might be the situation, cuz, man.

[Willie Griswold]

That one hit a little bit too close.

[Tom Griswold]

I. I don't know the answer to this. I'm sorry.

[Chick McGee]

Is.

[Tom Griswold]

Is the night before Thanksgiving the biggest bar night of the year?

[Willie Griswold]

Blackout Wednesday. It's often called drinks giving.

[John Heffron]

I've heard.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah, fun.

[Jess Hooker]

Everybody's. Everybody's back in their hometown and they go to their hometown ball bar. And yeah, things. Things get crazy, get out of hand.

[Bob Kevoian]

It was fun. That was a fun night.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, there's.

[Bob Kevoian]

It still is for some. Not for me.

[John Heffron]

So about three years ago or. No, no, take that back. Whenever.

[Willie Griswold]

A couple years.

[John Heffron]

When did I get married? Okay, so we got married the. The day before Thanksgiving. Right. So I went, cool. I will always remember this day. I'm never going to miss an anniversary because it's the day before Thanksgiving. So it's. So the next year came. Guess who missed it? Because I didn't realize the day before Thanksgiving changes. Right, right, right. So I thought, oh, it's always the day before, not realizing the date of Thanksgiving. And we're about two days, and my wife's like, you know, it's our anniversary. I'm like, yeah, in on Wednesday. And she's like, no, no, it's the date, not the day before. I'm like.

[Tom Griswold]

I. I think if I. I'll be the jury on this one. I think you're. Okay.

[John Heffron]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

I think we can conceptually allow that.

[John Heffron]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It's like every day, week.

[Bob Kevoian]

I mean, you were saying in my head, I was like, man, that's so smart.

[Willie Griswold]

You can always get a reservation Wednesday night.

[Jess Hooker]

You know, Chick, didn't you do something like that so you wouldn't forget your wedding anniversary?

[Chick McGee]

I got married on my birthday.

[Jess Hooker]

There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

Course hooker. What the hell's wrong with you? You know, why would you do that?

[Jess Hooker]

Shots fired.

[Chick McGee]

Because she's ornery. Why she do it?

[Tom Griswold]

But see, I think what your wife should say to you, John, is, no, no, no. We have to celebrate the date and the day before Thanksgiving.

[John Heffron]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And then every seven years be off the hook. But yeah. Two. Two presents.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

How long you been married now?

[John Heffron]

Probably about five years. You know, there's probably. Well, there is that. There's like a. There's like a cult, you know, Covid year in there where you.

[Pat Godwin]

It's still.

[John Heffron]

Still blurry.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[John Heffron]

And stuff like that. When we were all, you know, self pouring for two years straight.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you aware of the traditional and the modern gift list is any you guys?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. The anniversary. There's a traditional first year's paper.

[Willie Griswold]

Second one's a gold or something.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

And then now the first year, I think is time they say that it's that. That's. That's the updated version of the gift that you would give for a first anniversary.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh.

[Bob Kevoian]

It's like, hey, I'm giving you the.

[John Heffron]

I'm staring. I'm going to look away from my phone and stare at you. You got five minutes. Happy anniversary.

[Tom Griswold]

Here we go. Here's the.

[John Heffron]

You got one story I'm going to listen to fully.

[Tom Griswold]

Here's the traditional fifth anniversary gift.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

A personalized wooden photo frame.

[John Heffron]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

Or a wooden jewelry box.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Or a tree planted in her honor.

[Chick McGee]

There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

To go.

[John Heffron]

Okay. I. I could do that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

It's all really sweet.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[John Heffron]

That's easy.

[Tom Griswold]

Now the modern list is a silver cocktail shaker or a silver bowl or tray. So you got your choice.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Wood or silver. On the fifth anniversary.

[Chick McGee]

There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

It's nice. Now back to Thanksgiving. What do you got?

[Jess Hooker]

Thanksgiving dinner is very high in calories. Many Americans consume between 2100 and 4500 calories during the holiday meal.

[Chick McGee]

Nice. Yep. That's right.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. That seems high. Do you think for one meal that's really. Maybe over the course of the day, like, because do you have a first run Thanksgiving and then.

[Bob Kevoian]

What do you mean?

[Jess Hooker]

Like you have Thanksgiving dinner again with leftovers that same day.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, how do you time it, though?

[Jess Hooker]

Well, we eat between noon and two.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

And everybody gets a good buzz. And then you eat again at like seven.

[Bob Kevoian]

I got you.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I think we're gonna aim for like a three or four because Willie's driving in from Chicago, so.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah. Gives you more time to yell at family if you start later.

[Tom Griswold]

I kind of like that.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

That's nice. It's a good idea.

[Jess Hooker]

All right. Astronauts in space don't get Thanksgiving off. NASA crews still work but receive special prepackaged holiday meals in orbit.

[Tom Griswold]

That's cool.

[Bob Kevoian]

Of course.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

How cool would it be to go up to the space shuttle and they'll be holding protest sites. We're going on strike. Or said this little site we're not going to work today because unfair to.

[Tom Griswold]

Astronauts during that government shutdown.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. We never got paid.

[Tom Griswold]

Are they okay? No, not getting paid. Was anybody answering the phone?

[Chick McGee]

Hey, I bet they have direct deposit, right?

[Bob Kevoian]

They must. Yeah, yeah. They're going right to their account.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't want to open up that can of worms, but that. You know that whole case with the astronaut and the ex girlfriend claiming the. Never mind. Oh, very complicated.

[Chick McGee]

It's not that the lady wearing the diaper, is it?

[Tom Griswold]

No. Okay, well, that's a great story.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, the lady who drove from Texas to Florida.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah. And planned to do it.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

She wore a diaper so she wouldn't have to stop.

[Jess Hooker]

Hey, you gotta make good time.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, that's what they call when you're crazy. Pre. Pre motivated or whatever.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Premeditated. Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, she playing the hell out of her.

[Jess Hooker]

Minnesota raises the most turkeys in the U. S. The state leads national turkey production, supplying many Thanksgiving tables.

[Chick McGee]

Minnesota, huh?

[Bob Kevoian]

I am the governor of Minnesota.

[Chick McGee]

Man, that was funny for a little bit.

[Jess Hooker]

The Turducken has roots in New Orleans. Chef Paul Prudhomme, credited with popularizing the layered turkey duck chicken dish.

[Chick McGee]

He was a fatty.

[John Heffron]

Fat.

[Bob Kevoian]

Fat. He was fat.

[Jess Hooker]

I thought that he was Dom DeLuise for most of my.

[Bob Kevoian]

Because Dom was also doing like gourmet cookies.

[Tom Griswold]

They look very similar. Yeah. You could take Al Hurt.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

All per dome and Dom deluise and you got three of the same guy.

[Jess Hooker]

I actually have a list in my phone of people that I got mixed up as a kid. Yeah. Like Helen Helena Bonham Carter and Bernadette Pete. I thought they were the same.

[Bob Kevoian]

Interesting.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, yeah, something like that. That. I just got them confused.

[Tom Griswold]

Now here's something interesting.

[Bob Kevoian]

Are they all white people?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, pretty much. Yes, they are all.

[Tom Griswold]

Jingle Bells was written for Thanksgiving. What?

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Are you.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's a. That's just a bold faced lie.

[Chick McGee]

That's not true at all.

[Jess Hooker]

The song was composed for a Sunday school Thanksgiving program, not for Christmas.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey, is it bald faced or bold face faced lie.

[Chick McGee]

I think it's bald.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay. Yeah, because it's bold to lie to somebody.

[John Heffron]

Wait, jingle belching.

[Chick McGee]

Now you trust a guy with a beard? Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And we also have a butt naked versus buck naked. And it's buck Buck was the. The origin on that one. They're both.

[Jess Hooker]

They say it now.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you know that Black Friday is the busiest day for plumbing plumbers of the year? No, it really. It really is.

[Bob Kevoian]

I mean, boy, that's.

[Tom Griswold]

And they. They actually. Now they call it Brown Friday. We have. We have the story.

[Jess Hooker]

More details coming.

[Chick McGee]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's true. It's true. The first Thanksgiving lasted three days.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

It was a.

[Chick McGee]

So Black Friday would be the day after Thanksgiving. So that that would track that they have trouble with their toilets.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, we actually have the story the.

[John Heffron]

First three days of so Thanksgiving happening on day one and then the other two days were waiting for the husband to wake up to clean.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[John Heffron]

It's actually three days. That's how you got those extra two.

[Bob Kevoian]

Days, was it didn't Abraham Lincoln, he wasn't he the first one to go, hey, Thanksgiving is a thing now?

[John Heffron]

I think so Then he went into his marble bathroom. That was normal for that time.

[Bob Kevoian]

Absolutely.

[Tom Griswold]

I think he made it a. I think I can look that up for you. Speaking of food, something's going on at Brick House Nutrition. They've started their Black Friday sale already. Everything on the website, 30% off. It's the biggest sale of the year. What does that include at Brickhouse Nutrition? Well, how about lean? The doctor formulated weight loss supplement for people who want to lose meaningful weight without injections. Also 30% off creatone. This is designed for the lean ladies. Helps you look leaner in shape and toned without extra dieting or exercise. Also 30% off field of greens, the only superfruit and vegetable drink shown in a university study to actually slow aging. And only field of greens promises better health results that your doctor will notice. Get all the [e-mail] every brickhouse product is on sale right now. 30% off. And once again, this is celebrating Black Friday all already. So this Black Friday is Black Friday, early Black Friday. BrickHouseSale.com save 30% across the board. One more time BrickHouseSale.com weight loss results will vary, of course. These products and statements have not been evaluated by the fda. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease or condition. See for yourself. Read all about it. Brickhouse Nutrition presents the 30% off sale once again at brick brick house sale.com Coming back, we're going to talk with our guest comedian John Heffron. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Show Announcer]

More of the show is on the way. You can find us on X at Bob and Tom or you can email us at Bob and Tom. Bob and Tom.com.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and services you need fast from the professional parts people at O'REILLY Auto Parts. There's Jess Hooker.

[Tom Griswold]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

She's at the Silac Insurance news desk. There's Willie Griswold.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, man.

[Chick McGee]

There's Josh Arnold.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

There's Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick at the Prize Picks sports desk. And Tom, we have a special guest.

[Tom Griswold]

Joining us in the studio.

[Chick McGee]

And there's Pat Godwin.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, Pat Godwin's behind the glass. Hey, Pat.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

I know you're leaving in a few minutes. You're heading to Young.

[Pat Godwin]

Youngstown Drive today, not fly.

[Tom Griswold]

That's right. Mr. Godwin will be on stage tonight and tomorrow at the Youngstown Funny Farm, Willie G. In Cincinnati. Check out the [e-mail] Saturday only. For that show, John Heffron has joined us in the studio. Before we get back to John, I want to remind you we have right behind John, in fact, those brand new sweatshirts and T shirts. It's our pop up store. It's not going to be open much longer. Longer. So if you want to get something for somebody for the holidays, there they are right there, the Bob and Tom T shirts and sweatshirts, including those cool Christmas T shirts designed by my niece Daisy over in the UK where they celebrate Christmas too.

[Chick McGee]

Is that why?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

That's all over the world.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

But it's a simpler Christmas in England.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, they call. They don't call him Santa Claus. They call him Father Christmas.

[Chick McGee]

Right. And they say happy, happy Christmas, not Merry Christmas.

[Tom Griswold]

Very good.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, let's get back to the action here. John Heffron, a distinguished comedian for many years, and we've established a few things. You just moved. You were living on a farm there for a while. You've been married for. You said you think five years.

[John Heffron]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Since I last saw you. I don't recall you wearing glasses before. This is part of the aging process.

[John Heffron]

This is. Yeah, yeah. It's definitely because I'm 50. I said 56. I'm only 55. I don't know. I. I don't know. Do good numbers. Yeah, I have our numbers guy, but. So I'm supposed to wear contacts on stage because I have positional vertigo. But here's what I. You guys will wear contacts. Average amount of time it takes. Put contacts in about an hour and 25 minutes.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[John Heffron]

Okay. And here's what I realize about contacts. You need glasses on to put contacts is a thing that I, I can't. So what happens is, is so I have one eye. This eye is 3. 50.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[John Heffron]

Right. And this eye is 125.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, my.

[John Heffron]

So it's weird. So everyone on this side of the room, I see your soul. Everybody on this side of the room, I see there's a hair right here that I missed. So kind of like, there's a moth on my ring cam. Just kind of annoying. But so even before here, I'm like, I'm gonna wear my contact. So I look at the. You know, it says left or right? You got to look at the. I don't know who designed. Because if you don't want contacts to come in this, like, McNugget dipping sauce thing, right? And then you have to look at the number and go, oh, that's the left or right side. But I don't know who wrote the number.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[John Heffron]

Because they're like, hey, we got a. What size font should we use right here? A three, probably. Yeah. But the people can't see it. I don't care about the people.

[Bob Kevoian]

Get a thing.

[John Heffron]

And then some guy at the meeting raises his hand and goes, listen, I know a guy who can paint battleships on rice. Do you want to get him to write the numbers?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes.

[John Heffron]

Get that guy. Now. Now we have room for random serial numbers and a website.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And they also that. Remember that fad on stereos, when people had stereos to do? Pretty much dark gray ink on both. Black.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You can't read anything. You can't see it.

[John Heffron]

Yeah, I don't. I. I thought I put contacts in and walked around the house, and I was like, oh, I. I see Claire. You know, I saw p. Posters or not pictures on the wall that I could never read. Like, we have a rules of the house.

[Jess Hooker]

This is.

[John Heffron]

My wife has, like, this house is laughter and joy and. And supper. And it's like. And then you keep reading, and we have the right to sell your information to third parties. Right.

[Tom Griswold]

You keep.

[John Heffron]

You just keep read. Have to say. And I saw that. And then the whole day, I thought I saw better. Then I went to brush my teeth, looked down into the sink. It saw two contacts. So what did that mean? They never made it into my face, but the whole day, I saw better. I had placebo contacts on, and it worked.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

What does positional vertigo mean?

[John Heffron]

It's. I had it on stage. It's weird. It's. It's. If I move my head too quick or up and down, I'm done. Right. So I was on stage a couple months ago, and the whole room started spitting like Superman. So I grab a hold of the mic because I think I'm Gonna fall. And then I start to flop sweat, right? And then this lady heckles me. And if you don't know me as comic, I don't get heckled a lot because for 36 years, I only make fun of myself. I don't do jokes about race, religion, or I'm vanilla. I throw softballs. I'm the matchbox 20 of comedy. You guys will enjoy me, but you're indifferent. People will come to my show and go, that guy was hilarious. And if there was a police sketch artist and go, can you tell us what he looked like? They'll go, no, he didn't know nothing about him.

[Tom Griswold]

Stuck.

[Bob Kevoian]

Stuck.

[John Heffron]

I just know I enjoyed myself for that. So I'm sweating like crazy, and the lady in the front row just goes, please go to the hospital. So then I get off stage and I find this little room at the comedy club and I fall and I. And I throw up. And you know, the comedy club managers, God love them, but at this point in my life, they all were fired from Dave and Buster's and now they're over managing comedy clubs and they're 20 and they want to make sure you know, you know, can you keep your time tight? We have two shows Saturday. Yeah, I knew that in 87 when I started.

[Jess Hooker]

Thank you.

[John Heffron]

Thank you for explaining that to me. You know, I'm not an Instagram star. We have to explain how. So I'm on the ground throwing up and, man, I threw up a piece of hubba bubba from 1982. And the manager kid is above me going, do you want to. Should you go to the hospital? And here he's. He's a young kid, so he doesn't know a couple things. I'm a 55 year old married guy. I don't have. Do I go to the hospital. Decision making capabilities. That's not my department. That's not. I don't have that type of. You have to. You have to ask the wife, does he go to the hospital?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't have.

[John Heffron]

I don't have that type of type because my wife did that recently. I went to Costco for my glasses just because I like hot dogs. I don't have time to get into it. So she texted me again and she goes, hey, while you're at Costco, can you look at washer and dryers? Which I thought was a funny text, because again, I don't have the power of attorney to purchase, of course, a washer and dryer. And so we had to get two new ones. And the ones we had the Brand, not a fan of. I don't know who your sponsors are. So with this thing, I'll just say it plays a five minute song when it thinks it's done. So our washer and dryers are very Gen Z, like very zennial.

[Chick McGee]

Here's why.

[John Heffron]

You could throw a sweatshirt and a pair of jeans into the washer. It'll get to the spin cycle and go and then stop and just go. I'm, I'm, I'm unbalanced right now. I just, I just, I just don't, I feel unbalanced. I don't think you're giving me the safe space I need to. And then you just yell at it, you know, open the lid, right? And then our dryer is the same, you know, same thing in my. Our dryer is like we, we sense when clothes are dry. We just sense it. We're a, we're a Montessori dryer. We believe in clothes first and we don't like to label all the clothes as dry because some clothes don't dry at the same speed. So we don't want those clothes to feel less dense. So we let them just dry at their own speed. So then that real quick. Then it made me think of, of growing up. So I was born, right? We were up and then I went to my parents house and there was a washer, a dryer and a refrigerator already there before I got there. And in my entire life I don't remember a new one coming in my entire life. They didn't replace. And I think back to the washer and dryers of the 70s and 80s. Follow me on this one. Washer and dryers now are coddled. You listening? You probably have your washer and dryer. There's probably ship lap behind it with subway tile. And then there's a sign that says laundry and suds. 5 cents, right? So our washer dryers. Back then you'd have to go downstairs, pull the, click the light, hope you don't get murdered, right? And they were that lime green, yellow. And there was no unbalanced. I just pictured them being very Detroit Teamstery. Those washers. Like, look, you get your job done, you're unbalanced, you, you take it home. Okay, what are your curling iron.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's right.

[John Heffron]

And you could put snowmobile boots in there. A little brother, right? And now we go blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then you come downstairs and it was 10ft off the wall and your mom's sitting on it, which is weird. And then, right? And then our dryer on ours has like seven, like this one click. Just be nice to this shirt. Like, just don't, like, don't tumble it hard. This one tumble for like a minute, then take a 30 second rest and then a minute and do five of those. Our dryer back then was, I don't even remember, like a timer. There's a button.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[John Heffron]

And you hit it. And that attitude was, look, okay, you're, you're not down here in 22 minutes. It all burns. It all burns. I'm not a baby, right. You rush down there, you touch it, the steam would come out, you'd reach your finger and you'd have Oshkosh branded onto your thumb. And then you pull out your favorite sweatshirt. Oh, man, it looks, you got like you got it from wish or something.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, God. All true John Heffron. Absolute facts about contemporary life coming up. We're going to talk more with John. Also, I believe we're going to get news we failed to mention from Jeffrey Oskay. Patty G. I know you got to run. Yeah. See you guys.

[Pat Godwin]

Great job this morning.

[Bob Kevoian]

Good morning, all of you.

[Tom Griswold]

Thanks, Patty. Certainly enjoyed your songs today. Pat, once again, you'll be in Youngstown at the funny farm. Is that correct?

[Pat Godwin]

Yes, sir.

[Tom Griswold]

Information can be found at funny farm comedy club.com if you'd like to see Patty G. Tonight or tomorrow. And don't forget, we got our new sweatshirts and T shirts out just for a few more days on the pop up store. So by all means, head over to bobandtom.com and grab those. We'll be right back in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom show.

[Show Announcer]

Got a comment?

[Tom Griswold]

To share?

[Show Announcer]

Text us at 888-262-8661. This is the Bob and Tom show.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Jess Hooker.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

She's at the Silac insurance news desk. There's Willie Griswold.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, man.

[Chick McGee]

There's Josh Arnold, the I hate Steven Singer sidekick chair.

[Bob Kevoian]

Save big on holiday favorites with Omaha steaks. Visit Omaha steaks.com for 50 off site wide and for an extra $35 off, use promo code BTS at checkout.

[Chick McGee]

I'm Chick Bigee. There's Ace Cosby and. Hello, Tom, we have a special guest.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello. Testing, testing. Yes, we do indeed. He is a great comedian. He is John Heffron. And as you know. You know, John, we do a little bit of news here on the show try to keep up with the more obscure things happening in the world. But sometimes we, we. We miss a story or two. And that's why we bring in our own Jeff Oskay with fail to mention news. Jeffrey. How are you, sir?

[Jeff Oskay]

I'm doing just fantastic. Oh, yeah, thanks for having me, John. We give you a lot of the news each week. We don't give you all the news. So I'm here to give you and our listeners the news that we failed to mention.

[Chick McGee]

Here's Jeff Oskay with failed to mention news.

[Tom Griswold]

Ooh.

[Jeff Oskay]

I'll warn you, this whole week is garbage.

[Tom Griswold]

I gotta.

[Jeff Oskay]

I gotta. I got a curly fry stuck in my esophagus two days ago. Still rattling around in there.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's still there.

[Jeff Oskay]

It's still there.

[Bob Kevoian]

This is legitimately a thing he and I were talking about off the air, like four days ago.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, it's driving me nuts.

[Tom Griswold]

You know that I don't approve of curly fries.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, I did not.

[Jeff Oskay]

Neither do I. Anymore.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't approve of curly fries or steak fries. McDonald's french fries. That's what begins and ends right there.

[John Heffron]

Are you sure you didn't swallow one of those dinosaur pills that turn into a spong?

[Bob Kevoian]

Could have been. He actually came up to me and he goes, what would you do about this? That's what he said. But I also like the assumption that I had constantly. I'm always having food stuck in my throat.

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, I found out this from Medcheck. A, I need to chew my food better, and two, they can't do nothing about it. All right, an 80 year old woman set the Guinness world record for being the oldest woman to ever compete in an Ironman marathon. What? You failed to mention. I'm not sure if this is considered cheating, but she mapped out the entire course using the liver spots on the back of her hand. Gave her a little upper hand.

[Chick McGee]

Hey.

[Jeff Oskay]

We learned that hundreds of years ago, crocodiles used to be able to climb trees.

[Bob Kevoian]

What?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

What?

[Jeff Oskay]

You failed to mention they stopped climbing trees once they realized that firefighters refused to rescue them. Dangerous. A southern Australian. In southern Australia, a bunch of play sand has been recalled after schools found that the sand contained asbestos.

[Bob Kevoian]

What?

[Jeff Oskay]

You failed to mention instead of castles, apparently these kids should have been building hospitals.

[Chick McGee]

Hospitals.

[Jeff Oskay]

Wrong sound effect. Oh, yeah. If you hated that, you're definitely gonna hate this. We learned yesterday, Josh, you. You were out. But we learned yesterday Elvis hated fish.

[Tom Griswold]

Ah. What?

[Jeff Oskay]

You failed to mention. That guy was ahead of his time. I don't even think Trey was born Yet. But even then, he does. Never ending jams were his taste.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. Yeah. He liked the shorter songs right to it.

[Chick McGee]

I liked. Everybody calls him just Trey. I like that. Yeah, very personal.

[Tom Griswold]

Great guy, by the way.

[Jess Hooker]

Sure.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, he really is.

[Tom Griswold]

He really is a nice guy.

[Chick McGee]

One of three.

[Jeff Oskay]

By the way, some football player somewhere said he likes eating raccoon.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

What?

[Jeff Oskay]

You failed to mention. Why wouldn't you? They come pre stuffed. This raccoon has hints of moldy potato salad and old hot dogs.

[Chick McGee]

Free stuff.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hey, Josh, I don't know if you saw this. And Willie, you're fat like me. KFC is now offering a gravy flight three gravies. Well, you failed to mention. Usually when confronted, I pick fight.

[Bob Kevoian]

It's not fight or flight.

[Jeff Oskay]

I'm picking flight every time.

[Chick McGee]

Although a gravy fight might be fun.

[Jeff Oskay]

We learned about domesticated raccoons.

[Bob Kevoian]

What?

[Jeff Oskay]

You failed to mention. This one's for Tom. Domesticated raccoons. Didn't they used to open for the traveling wilberries back in the day?

[Tom Griswold]

Or you can say that's a sex position. I gave her the old domesticated raccoon sex move.

[Chick McGee]

Sex move.

[Jeff Oskay]

Some company somewhere is offering new plush toys that include intestines, rectums, and even testicles. Well, you failed to mention, though I found it a little tacky that they named their sphincter plush Howdy Doody. And finally, a raccoon was. Was pardoned by President Calvin Coolidge back in 1926. Well, you failed to mention. Apparently the pardon was signed by auto pen, so many historians are saying the pardon isn't valid.

[Bob Kevoian]

Very nice.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much. A lot of raccoon news lately for some reason. And the. The whole. Calvin Coolidge, though. You didn't hear this? Shush. What was it? 26 different pets.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, I knew that there was a president that had essentially a petting zoo. I thought it was him.

[Tom Griswold]

Huh?

[Willie Griswold]

I thought it was. Teddy Roosevelt had a bunch of stuff back there.

[Tom Griswold]

He had a bunch of stuff, too, but I couldn't like bears.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, all his stuff was stuffed, I think.

[John Heffron]

Yeah, he killed him.

[Tom Griswold]

A baby hippo that they ended up giving to the zoo. A whole bunch of birds and.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, a bunch of birds flying around.

[Tom Griswold]

He did.

[Jess Hooker]

A bunch of canaries. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Really?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And what was it? I want to say, was it 14 dogs?

[Jess Hooker]

12.

[Tom Griswold]

12. Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

Still dogs.

[Chick McGee]

Picasso. Picasso had a pet. Pet owl.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Picasso had a pet. What? Are you serious?

[Chick McGee]

Absolutely. There are pictures. A bunch of pictures online of Picasso and his pet owls. He had several during his time Several owls. Several.

[Tom Griswold]

I see. I see. John Heffron is our guest. A former liver on a farm guy. What John Jesse was explaining.

[Chick McGee]

Owned a farmhouse.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. You owned a farmhouse in a farm. Farm in Michigan. And. And you've been with your wife now for five years.

[John Heffron]

Yeah, we just got rid of the house.

[Tom Griswold]

You have a dog?

[John Heffron]

No, but that's why I bought the farm. So I moved from Los Angeles and I had two 16 year old German shepherds and they were still alive. So I'm like, I'm not gonna end up in a condo at the. So when I was sitting in Michigan, this house, this farm was for sale. And I just moved from LA back to Michigan. So that farm felt free. Free.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[John Heffron]

Like the price. You're like, what? For the. All of that. You get that? So I bought it literally for my dogs to have a place to die. And then I was going to hub out of there and then Covid kind of started to happen. And then like, I live here now.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. Did you. But you didn't once the. I. I gather these little pups have passed away.

[John Heffron]

They passed.

[Tom Griswold]

Sorry to hear.

[John Heffron]

But. But they got to see cows and in. In snow and stuff like that. Yeah, but so we sold the house and it was, it was beautiful. It was built 1830. And the people who wanted to buy the house, he tried to lower, you know, the price. They go, well, we're going to give you $30,000 less because your. Your stairs aren't to code. I'm like, well, the house was built 1830 before Michigan was like Michigan. So it's not. There's not a lot of code there.

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[John Heffron]

In our stairs. Identified as a ladder. Right. They were. So I didn't know. Like, when you sell a house, you gotta fill out a disclosure thing to say everything that's wrong with the house, I guess, but the house is sold. I didn't know what to put, like. So probably right now, as we speak, the new owners are playing a game I played in the house for quite a long time called guess what, Animals in the wall.

[Jess Hooker]

All right.

[John Heffron]

Yeah, that was a fun one. And then I would play this game where I'd go to the thermostat and then I would set it for 71. And then I would play a game where I try to find a room that was 71 degrees.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[John Heffron]

So what I would do is I take my Covid thermometer gun and I would clear rooms. So I'd go in that room, hit click and go, okay, it's 63 in that one and go in another room. It's 8 degrees in that room. And if you, you know anything just about weather, you can't have that type of heat and cold, right? So every morning I would have to wake up and just give my family a weather report. I'm like, good morning, everybody. It's going to be about 83 degrees today. If you're in the bathroom, it's 120 in there right now. There's no ventilation fan. You're sleeping in the bedroom across the way. Seven degrees, going to feel like four when you get out of those covers. Now let's make sure that door's closed. We don't want any hot air to hit the cold air or we're gonna see some sleet and fog. Heading upstairs a little later.

[Tom Griswold]

The beauty of an old house. John Heffron is our guest. John is doing some road work. You can see him in lots of places, including Columbus, Ohio, the 28th and 29th of November. Then St. Charles. That's St. Louis at the Funny Bone, December 4 through 7, December 31, New Year's Eve at the famous Hilarities In Cleveland, Ohio, January 15th through the 18th, Denver's famous comedy works. Then Tacoma, the 12th through the 14th of February. Among the many stops on the road for Mr. John Heffron. Time for a quiz. Now, ladies and gentlemen, you've been hearing us talk about annuities here in the Bob and Tom show for quite some time. What is an annuity? Well, it's a way to make sure that when you retire you got a paycheck coming in on a regular basis. You've been hearing about the annuities from the Silac insurance company. So it's quiz time. Let's see how you you do with what we call the McGee Three, starring Chick McGee. All right, question number one. Dear Chick, I want to browse and read all about the Silac insurance companies annuity options. What is the Silac website address?

[Chick McGee]

So easy, Tom, I will tell you. Silac ins.com Once again, that's S I L A C I N s dot com.

[Tom Griswold]

Very good question too. Now this is amazing. I, I love this idea. A 20% bonus by going from a 401k to a Silac annuity. Where do I find out about that?

[Chick McGee]

Once again, go to the website silacins.com and click on the Bob and Tom logo to request more information.

[Tom Griswold]

That's extraordinarily informative. Last question for you, dear Chick Magee. Would it be too much to Ask you to read the SILAC disclaimer.

[Chick McGee]

Just a little bit too much to ask. If you don't mind, Jess, please.

[Jess Hooker]

Premium bonus may vary by annuity product, premium band and surrender charge period selected and may be subject to a premium bonus. Recommended capture. Some products with bonuses may offer lower growth rates or caps. Consult your financial advisor. Terms and conditions apply. See silacins.com disclosures.

[Tom Griswold]

That's perfect. You got it. All right. Coming up, we have nudity in the news. We have. What is Brown Friday? We're gonna find out. And a little bit of history for you and our great guest, the comedian John Heffron. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. At the SILAC Insurance news desk, it's Jess Hooker.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Willie Griswold. Hey, man. There's Josh Arnold.

[Tom Griswold]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

At the I hate Steven Singer sidekick chair. He's coughing just a bit. There's Ace Cosby. Hello, I'm Chick mcgee At the prize pick sports Desk Football action. Even better with prize picks. Download the Prize picks app, use code 2 Tom and get $50 bonus credit instantly when you play. $5. Must be present in certain states. Visit prizepix.com for restrictions and details. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello, Chick McGee. We got you all right over there. Josh.

[Chick McGee]

I don't think he is.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yep, yep.

[Tom Griswold]

You're. You're now redder. Redder than your shirt. Okay, okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

The illness is leaving my body and.

[Tom Griswold]

Apparently right now, you know what they.

[Chick McGee]

Call that is the vampire vampire cough. You got a cough into your elbow.

[Tom Griswold]

That's what they call it, a vampire.

[Bob Kevoian]

These are all good signs.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. They call it the vampire.

[Tom Griswold]

I asked.

[Bob Kevoian]

I asked the doctor. I go, so, how's my contagious lady? He goes, oh, dude. Because I've been dealing with this for about three weeks. And he goes, you stop being contagious. Like day two.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, my.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. So.

[Jess Hooker]

Yuck.

[Chick McGee]

So it's. I guess what we can put up with is the question.

[Bob Kevoian]

Exactly.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. All of us are okay. So.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[John Heffron]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, we're all feeling good.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. No, it's awesome. I look to you. I'm living vicariously through you, knowing that.

[Tom Griswold]

Someday you'll feel like we do.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Well, thank you. I will remind you of a couple quick things. We have our pop up shop currently popped up. You'll find [e-mail]. it's gonna close Sunday night, so get on board. We've got the zip hoodies Pullover hoodies, a cool trucker hat.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm gonna pop.

[Tom Griswold]

And my niece Daisy designed our holiday shirts.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, take a look at that.

[Tom Griswold]

They're very cool. They're very sweet.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, everything ships. You'll get it before Christmas, Tom.

[Bob Kevoian]

Is that what you say? You know, as, as things are finishing up in the bedroom, I'm gonna pop.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I would never say that. That's.

[Chick McGee]

I'm gonna pop.

[Tom Griswold]

Vulgar and taste.

[Bob Kevoian]

Are you ready for me to pop?

[Tom Griswold]

No, not at all.

[Chick McGee]

You into, you into choking at all?

[Bob Kevoian]

Any sort of.

[Tom Griswold]

I am not, but thanks for asking. Coming up we are going to go back over to the news desk. The Silac Insurance News says we have to introduce our guests. He is comedian John Hefron, also an author of a. A non comedy book is safe to say called the Maskers. Kind of a sci fi meets.

[John Heffron]

Yeah, I did. If we have time, I'll give you a quick origin story. So I was driving to Costco. Remember that story from a little bit ago? So I'm driving there and my wife said hey, you have to get tested today. I'm going to make this very quick. So I had to go to a clinic and at 55 get tested for ADD.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[John Heffron]

So I walk into this room, it's me and some 14 year old kid getting ready to take this thing. And the test taker person goes okay everybody, you can take this test. It's going to be about three hours long. And I go, I have add. Was that the test? Was that the real test? Like the paper test? Test doesn't mean anything, just how we respond. So I have add. Do I get a sticker or a dog? Now what, what happens? Right? So then I have not been in a desk to take a test since gosh, probably Bon Jovi Never say goodbye was number one. So I'm sitting there, the 14 year old kid is just in it and I'm bored. So I did what I, what I did back in it. I took out my little knife, I carved the Van Halen symbol into the desk. I took out a marker, wrote this class sucks. Drew a TIE fighter. Then I got up for no reason, walked in front and mimicked sharpening a pencil just because my body was like used to do this. And then I took the thing off and got rid of the shavings. Just be a brown noser to the teacher.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[John Heffron]

And then when I was walk by a girl who was taking it, I had one of those paper things and I go pick a color. And I did that little. And so I Took the test, and if you could score 20, I got like a 17, right? So then they go, hey, we're gonna put you on Adderall. That'll make you feel better. Now I'm. I'm anti Big Farm. I'm like, I'm not taking a pill. Just. You take a pill. So they go, just try it for one week. I go, oh, I don't really want to do this. So I took it out that morning and that afternoon I told my wife. I'm like, this isn't going to do anything. This isn't doing anything. I'm mad that I actually took it. And by the time nighttime came, I was so mad that I took an Adderall. I wrote an 80,000 word essay about how Adderall does not affect men in their 50s. And then when I was moving the garage from the left side of the house to the right, I'm like, the world needs to know that Adderall does nothing. So the musical comes out, I believe, in February. And then that got us to this book where I'm like, I have this idea for a book. Boy, Adderall. Since Adderall's not working, I'm gonna knock out this book. So I wrote the. I'm pretty proud of it. It's a science fiction book. Basically, it happens in the not too near fucking future where there's no jobs, there's only a gig economy. And so people put on a mask and they become the avatar that the customer wants them to be. Because everyone loves their avatars, right? And every time the masker does what the customer want, they get a 8 second, like, boost of energy, like, like an endorphin rush. But then it goes away after eight seconds. And if you don't do what the customer wants, you don't get one. So everybody's a drug addict with the. The masters. I went from that. I wrote a soundtrack for it. The. The Bad Company. I made a fake LinkedIn page for it all. All because Adderall does nothing for it.

[Tom Griswold]

That book is called the Maskers and it is available on Amazon. There's even an audiobook. But not your voice.

[John Heffron]

Not my voice, Nope.

[Tom Griswold]

How did that conversation go? The publisher goes, well, you've got a nice book here.

[John Heffron]

Yeah, I listen. I'm such a bad out loud reader. Like, remember when you're in school and the teacher go, everyone's going to take a paragraph.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[John Heffron]

And then you get nervous and you start counting the desks leading up to you. You're like, 1, 2, 3. And then you'd practice it.

[Tom Griswold]

The.

[John Heffron]

The Duck Bill platypus is the only mammal. No, come on, man. Come on. Be more natural. Hey, guys, you know the Duck Bill pl. Right? And then the girl in front of you be like, the Duck Bill play. You're like, I miscon it. Now I gotta read it live. And it like, it bothers me reading. So I married into being a grandpa, right? So when I met my granddaughter Jane for the first time, I'm nervous. You know, you're meeting them and now kids have a lot of grandparents. Like when I was growing up, it felt like you only had a couple. But now grandma's married three times. So you have the original grandpa number two still says hi every once in a while. And then you have the most current. So there's six just on the mom side, right? So Jane wanted me to read. So I'm coming into this reading tournament, fifth seed and the grandpa reading.

[Bob Kevoian]

You're an underdog.

[John Heffron]

And so they hand me this dinosaur book and I can't. I'm like. And then the. A lot, a lot. So a lot of lists tried Torritops and they're like little kids. They just took the book out of my hand and just chucked it.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[John Heffron]

They did not like my read. And then now they have, you know, choices. So they all looked at their mom and went, mother, bring us a new grandpapa. This one bores me.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. All right.

[Bob Kevoian]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Once again, the book is called the Maskers from John Hefron, a great stand up comedian and now author. We're going to head over to the SILAC insurance news desk. Have we missed anything?

[Jess Hooker]

Yes, I know this is your favorite story. The term, the term Brown Friday refers to the day following Thanksgiving. It is among the plumbing industry's busiest times of the year.

[Bob Kevoian]

He is already smiling.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, he loves it.

[Tom Griswold]

It's. I mean, it's just, it's. It's a fact. When you read about Brown Friday last.

[Jess Hooker]

Year, searches for emergency plumber surged 65 on Thanksgiving Day.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Jess Hooker]

Searches for 24 hour plumber were higher on Thanksgiving day than any other day in November of 2023.

[Bob Kevoian]

The emergencies aren't the dumps. Right. It's the toilet paper.

[Jess Hooker]

Other things.

[John Heffron]

Yeah.

[Willie Griswold]

The amount of gas at your house.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[John Heffron]

The whole thing of jello with junk in it that got tossed.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. That's because that's going down.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. To avoid plumbing problems on Thanksgiving, Yelp recommends tossing leftovers in the trash. And not the same sink throw grease, oil and drippings in the trash. Do not pour them down the sink and familiarize yourself with the location of your main water shutoff valve and any local shutoff valves or for sinks or toilets.

[Tom Griswold]

Good to know.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. The cities that had the most plumbing related searches around Brown Friday were.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes.

[Jess Hooker]

Los Angeles, California, Miami, Florida and Nashville, Tennessee.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. La.

[John Heffron]

I just picture. I just picture somebody who doesn't like their family member and they're in the bathroom with those. Those like butt wipes that you're not supposed to flush if you have septic and they're just taking one. Eat, flush, flush. Just knowing what's going to happen to the septic tank.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Just be careful. Got. Got some good tips for you there. When it comes to Thanksgiving and all those guests over at your house, what else is going on?

[Jess Hooker]

A man in Florida who was arrested for walking around in the nude told officers he was taking part in a Tik Tock challenge.

[Bob Kevoian]

Ah.

[Jess Hooker]

The driver commuting to work spotted the man. Who? Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd. And if you know Grady Judd, he has a huge social media following and reports things that happen in Polk county each week. He's a fun watch, actually. Grady Judd described the walk, the guy walking as buck naked.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, B, U C, K, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

That's right. That's correct.

[Bob Kevoian]

Proper. Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Responding deputies questioned the man who said he was doing a tick tock challenge. Though authorities said he did not have a smartphone, phone or a camera on him.

[Tom Griswold]

Did they do a thorough cavity search?

[Jess Hooker]

You would have liked that, wouldn't you, boy?

[Bob Kevoian]

Great. Grady Judd is one man and not two moonshiners.

[Tom Griswold]

But you're right, he's. He's famous for his supposed postings.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Very fun watch.

[Tom Griswold]

So I don't understand. What was the Tick tock challenge? Sheriff get arrested for a decent exposure.

[Jess Hooker]

They also noted that it was 36 degrees at the time.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, there was a cold snap.

[Jess Hooker]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

It was a couple Mondays ago.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. The iguanas falling from the trees.

[Jess Hooker]

The man was arrested for disorderly conduct, resisting an officer without violence, and exposure of sexual organs.

[Bob Kevoian]

Ah, yes.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, but he didn't. No clarification on which Tik Tok challenge this was. It's hard to execute without a smartphone.

[Bob Kevoian]

I just figured he was lying.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, he is.

[John Heffron]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Just a lunatic, right?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

The Shrinky Dinky challenge. In that cold weather you don't want to be doing.

[Chick McGee]

Is there any way we could get you to participate in like a Tik Tok challenge? Something that would catch your eyes and you. You'd want to go do it?

[Bob Kevoian]

No, I bet he would do it if it were a certain charity.

[Tom Griswold]

I did the. I did the charity dumping the.

[Chick McGee]

The water thing.

[Tom Griswold]

That. The water thing. That was a few years ago.

[Chick McGee]

I think we. We get your daughters involved. Maybe that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

I have a folder of possible, like, pitches. Tick tock challenges, Tick tock trends, those things to pitch to Tom that I think he might take one. I've got about 10. Maybe we'll see if we can get this done. I think of the year, I don't.

[John Heffron]

Do any of that stuff because I used to do morning radio, like, in the mid-90s, and I was a sidekick for Danny Bondeduchu, and he would make me do. It wasn't called tik tok challenges back then, but it was how do we almost kill hen? Or do this as a break.

[Jess Hooker]

Chick's familiar.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, we're familiar with.

[Pat Godwin]

I.

[John Heffron]

My favorite one was I had to wrestle a woman. Okay. In, like, jello, of course.

[Jess Hooker]

Right.

[John Heffron]

And the sales department somehow switches sold it. Like there's some tire company or rug company said, we'll do that. And she won Hootie and the blowfish tickets that era. And I remember her just being on top of me, punching me, pulling my hair. And I had to look up at her and go, you're gonna win the dumb tickets. Hey, prize pig, you're gonna win the dumb tickets. Probably throw in sister Hazel also.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[John Heffron]

Like, oh, my God.

[Bob Kevoian]

It's like Rocky talking to Hulk Hogan going, hey, man, why did you.

[John Heffron]

Yeah, you're not gonna not win.

[Tom Griswold]

You were the go to the goat boy, everything.

[John Heffron]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

How was Danny? Was he okay?

[John Heffron]

Danny? Well, my favorite story, and maybe I've told this. So we got into one of the biggest fights on air. Not like, verbal. Janet Jackson was on the phone. And you guys know when they have the publicist, you get, like, a little buzz. Was to say, hey, wrap up the interview. So Danny just says, the wrong place. She's performing. He's got it written down wrong. So it goes like this to our producer. Matt comes in, and it's set up kind of like this. But Danny was higher than me, so you had to look up at him. So he's yelling at this Matt guy, and they both go to the ground, right? And now. Now they're fighting. Janet Jackson is still talking, right? So I take my ch chair. I go, hey, Janet, what do you like to do when you're in Detroit? And then I go over here, and I'm trying to pull them off. Janet Jackson answers in one word sentence. Like, one word. We'll go phone stuff like. Like that's all you get, right, Janet? I literally go, what do you eat, Pop Tarts? I don't know where that came and why. I think that would be a big question. Well, here's why. I don't like it. So I'm trying to pull Danny off. Long story short short, I get punched in the back of the head so hard, I fall into the. The cart rack. So commercials used to be on, like, tape. So I fall into that, I do the show, I leave the show, and then my roommate goes, hey, why'd you buy a vcr? And I go, I didn't buy. I didn't buy that. He goes, yeah, there's a VCR here, which, you know, you sign for it. I go, I don't remember buying that.

[Jess Hooker]

That.

[John Heffron]

He was like, what's wrong with you? Right?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, wow. No.

[John Heffron]

So Danny, this was mid-90s. Danny hit me. So when everybody had DVD players, Danny hit me so hard, he knocked me back a whole movie. Watching.

[Tom Griswold]

Like.

[John Heffron]

Like product, right? He knocked me back to VHS, basically. And, you know, I'm 20 something, so I. You know, I don't know. There's probably a huge HR page about, you're not allowed to hate your employees, right? And I'm so dumb. The next day I go, my little cubby, and there's a letter from the radio company that owned it at the time. I don't know which one. We were bought and sold maybe six times. Since I worked there. My whole life was filling out health insurance forms.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[John Heffron]

And it was stock in the company and a good. Like, a pretty decent amount. And I'm like, I did such a good job at my live remote last weekend. I gave out good station Jacuzzis that they feel I should get stock in the company, not realizing it was a. Can you not sue us?

[Tom Griswold]

That's great. Comedian John Heffron joining us in the studio now, I want to say Special thanks to HomeServe for sponsoring the Bob and Tom Show. They got something going on right now. You take good care of your car. You've got insurance for that. Of course. Your health. You got your health insurance. Maybe you even got that insurance on your phone.

[Chick McGee]

What about your.

[Tom Griswold]

Your house? It's probably your biggest investment. When things go wrong, the costs can go up very, very quickly. Anybody ever, ever had, like, their septic line blow. I have. This is where HomeServe comes in, because they can get you hooked up with the people that can fix whatever's going wrong with your house. HomeServe in fact, if you've got plumbing failures or H vac breakdowns, electrical issues, you don't want to wait around for days to get someone to help you out. HomeServe is like a subscription for your first house. For as little as 499amonth. That's $4.99 a month. They've got your back. When those repairs hit hard, you could be searching for a contractor for days. You're in a panic. We'll just call HomeServe's 24. 7 hotline to schedule that repair quickly. It's super simple. Choose a plan for your needs and budget. When something in your place goes wrong, you give them a call. Once Again, it's a 247 hotline. And get that repair process under. If you've had one of those surprise things go wrong with your house, and we all have, you know how important it is to be able to contact someone to help you out. So help protect your home systems and your wallet with HomeServe. HomeServe will take care of those covered repairs. Plans start, like I said, at 499amonth. Just go to homeserve.com to find the plan that's right for you. That's homeserve.com Most plans range between 4.99and just $11.99 cents a month. Not available everywhere. Find out where and find out what terms apply on covered repairs by going to homeservice.com that's homeservice.com coming up. We'll get a little history squeezed in here and we'll talk with our great guest comedian John Heffron. A couple quick things. John is in fact doing a bunch of bunch of road work and you can find him coming up at the Funny Bone In Columbus, Ohio, 11-28-29. Then it's St. Louis, December 4 through 7 at the legendary St. Charles Funny Bone. Josh Arnold, many a good memory there. The Cleveland, Ohio's famous hilarities on New Year's Eve. That'll be a cool show. Then Denver, the comedy works in mid January and Tacoma in mid February with the great comedian, winner of last comic standing, it is John Heffron. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Show Announcer]

Hey, Wanna win a $250Amazon gift card? Tell us a little bit about yourself by taking our listener survey. It's easy, quick and online [e-mail] survey.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show where you're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios at the News Center. It's Jess Hooker with a word about Java House.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes, Java House, the official office beverages of the Bob and Tom show. Go to jaba house.com and get 25 off your first order with promo code Bob and Tom.

[Chick McGee]

Got that? There's Willie Griswold.

[Willie Griswold]

Hey man.

[Chick McGee]

There's Josh Arnold.

[Tom Griswold]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

He's at the I hate Steven Singer sidekick chair. There's Ace Cosby, I'm Chick McGee. And Tom, we have a special guest.

[Tom Griswold]

Joining us in the studio. Comedian. He is a wonderful comedian, John Heffron, one of the original winners of last comic standing. He's also an old author and he's got a book out there that's kind of a sci fi futuristic.

[John Heffron]

It's a prediction. Yeah, I needed a big voice there. Yeah, it's gonna happen. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Chick, you want to do the intro on the book?

[Chick McGee]

It's the maskers in the not too distant future.

[Tom Griswold]

The maskers.

[Chick McGee]

The maskers.

[John Heffron]

Well, I'm such a big, big like AI or whatever fan. And here's the thing about just getting older. I see future dates and I get bummed. Like I'll watch the news and they'll go and by 2060 this will be around. Then I'm like, oh, have fun with that everybody. Yeah, yeah. But I did just sign a 30 year mortgage. So I'm like, good luck getting that on the back end. And you guys probably got about 17 years out of me if they go.

[Tom Griswold]

On those 50 year mortgages.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, why not?

[Tom Griswold]

Now what we like to do on the program is look at history a little bit. Oh yeah. We like to teach and enlighten.

[Chick McGee]

Can't look back until we look. No, we can't look forward. There's Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much. 21st November.

[Chick McGee]

Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

Born a. Happy birthday. Birthday. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

One of.

[Tom Griswold]

One of the first one one name guys.

[Chick McGee]

Drake, Liberace, Homer.

[Tom Griswold]

These are all good.

[John Heffron]

Good Plato.

[Tom Griswold]

This was the share of 1694. Of course. I'm talking about Voltaire Socket to me.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, no.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Voltaire. Last name Smith. Isn't that something? Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Voltaire Smith invented a way to measure electric power.

[Tom Griswold]

The volt? Of course not.

[Bob Kevoian]

Also on November 21st first Jackie asked John what he wanted for Christmas.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, and how'd that work out?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, a hard top.

[Bob Kevoian]

They were making plans.

[Chick McGee]

You said don't lose your head over this.

[Tom Griswold]

Voltaire sounds like a. Like a planet in the sci fi. Yeah. From the planet Voltaire.

[John Heffron]

Yeah. Or like an Autobot or Transformer.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, for sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Oh, this is 1944. The great.

[Chick McGee]

Will you not comment before you tell us?

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, so I just love this guy. He's going. Harold Ramos.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Willie Griswold]

Oh, the best.

[Tom Griswold]

Terrific comedy director.

[Chick McGee]

Incredibly difficult to work with.

[Jess Hooker]

I guess that's not.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I don't know.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, no, no.

[Tom Griswold]

He wasn't the one that was hard to work with.

[Jess Hooker]

That's you.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, that's.

[Tom Griswold]

How about here's a happy 1945. Goldie Han. She's been not married. Not married to Kurt Russell for more than 40 years.

[Chick McGee]

Did that bug anybody else? Did the thing in the.

[Tom Griswold]

The.

[Chick McGee]

All that stuff in the beginning and then she finally calmed down or. She was an actress.

[Tom Griswold]

She's great.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, yeah, I love.

[Chick McGee]

Not the laughing, giggling thing. No, I was great.

[John Heffron]

Stop it.

[Chick McGee]

You're an idiot.

[Bob Kevoian]

She was adorable, but. Yeah. Then she became more of a person. Yeah, exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

I can still remember one of the promos for that show. I think it was called he and she and they cut to Goldie Hawn. She goes, Linda will tell me anyway.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that she was the receptionist on that. Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Wow. Richard Benjamin and Paul Apprentice. Richard Benjamin, who directed one of the greatest movies ever made.

[Chick McGee]

That's not true.

[Tom Griswold]

My favorite ear. Oh, that's a great movie. If you don't like that.

[Chick McGee]

Not in the top 20.

[Tom Griswold]

Life's not for you.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Happy birthday, Bjork. Happy birthday.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, yeah. Love her.

[Tom Griswold]

What's she up to?

[Willie Griswold]

Wearing funny dresses.

[Chick McGee]

She killed Flamingo and put it around her neck, right? Yeah, yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Her song is featured in the new War of the Roses remake with Olivia.

[Chick McGee]

Coleman and Benedict Cumberbatch.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, yeah. It's a really good, great song.

[John Heffron]

What's that? Is that. Is that a movie about the fake radio station bit that morning shows used to do for the Roses? Is that what the whole thing.

[Jess Hooker]

It's the Danny DeVito remake, right?

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But she will be getting a nice piece of cake for her birthday, which she'll eat with a. With a fjork. Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

Why not?

[Tom Griswold]

Why not?

[Bob Kevoian]

I say.

[Chick McGee]

No, no. I say very funny. Birthday and fjor.

[Tom Griswold]

And you know, I am. As you know. You don't know this, John, I am opposed to Spork. The spork. I don't like it.

[John Heffron]

You don't like it?

[Tom Griswold]

No, I. And then is. Isn't there someone in this room who has a metal spork?

[Chick McGee]

Stainless steel spork.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

Uhhuh. And what do you use that for?

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, your various stews and chowders.

[Chick McGee]

It really Comes in handy.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. Let's see. That's boring. Boring. Oh, this is good.

[Chick McGee]

I bet we know one of the boring topics.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, and everybody, happy birthday. Ken Griffey Jr. I know, he's great. Famous on take your kid to work day. Ken Griffey senior. They're both great. Oh, you like this guy? Troy Aikman, Great broadcast.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, he's a good man.

[Tom Griswold]

Very good broadcast. Michael Strahan, another great broadcaster. Oh, he's great.

[Chick McGee]

He's still parting his teeth in the middle. Go ahead.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you know who this is? Let's see. John Hefron. Do you know who Carly Ray Jepson is?

[John Heffron]

You know what? You can call me maybe.

[Jeff Oskay]

Look at that.

[Tom Griswold]

Nicely done.

[John Heffron]

I know, it's crazy.

[Tom Griswold]

I. I did not know that she is a like a gay icon.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, really?

[Jess Hooker]

I didn't.

[Chick McGee]

Well, now, wait a minute.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Where did you hear this?

[John Heffron]

I. I saw it at a convention I was at.

[Chick McGee]

Unless you were at that convention with Heffer and I don'.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, she's like apparently the new Judy Garland's Eliza Minnelli.

[Bob Kevoian]

I don't know about that.

[Chick McGee]

But you. You hear things that aren't true. You know that? Honey, listen, you honest Google the word.

[Tom Griswold]

Gay and she pops up.

[Bob Kevoian]

I like the songs you did with Al City. And that's the gayest thing I've ever said.

[Tom Griswold]

Now this is. You're not going to believe me when I tell you this.

[Chick McGee]

What is that? Twilight?

[Tom Griswold]

None of you will know this. If you do, I'll be really impressed.

[Willie Griswold]

What do you got?

[Tom Griswold]

1864, the Battle of Griswoldville, Georgia.

[Chick McGee]

Is there anyone else more self involved on the planet than you?

[Tom Griswold]

It's the first battle of Sherman's march to the sea.

[Chick McGee]

We didn't know were you there? And he said, I got to get out of here. I'm marching to the sea.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, My ancestors were from Old Lime, Connecticut, not Georgia, so.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, sure, sure.

[Chick McGee]

The Old Lime.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm Tom Griswold. Oh, of the Old Lime Griswold.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yes, the Georgia Griswold.

[Willie Griswold]

Less than ideal to be a Griswold.

[Chick McGee]

Perhaps you know my grandfather, Old Snotty.

[Tom Griswold]

This is important. Does anyone know who on this date in 1871 what Emilio Onra did?

[Chick McGee]

No, Leo Onra.

[Tom Griswold]

Your. Your hint is they probably needed a net. Bungee jumping. Close. 1871, the first human cannonball.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe the first human that lived.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I should have factored you into this question. I did.

[Tom Griswold]

I love the human cannonball.

[Bob Kevoian]

The only thing I knew about him was that Emilio Onra could have gone by Emilio Sheen, but he decided to stick with him.

[Tom Griswold]

I see.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And I understand he was a great guy of great caliber. Oh, good.

[Tom Griswold]

That's very nice.

[Chick McGee]

I'm not happy with that. I just did it to please him.

[Tom Griswold]

It was great that when he got shot of the cannon, someone said that was great. He said, what? And you know that's a trick, don't you?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, it's a like a springboard.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. They don't use gunpowder. Right. On this date in 1980, John Lennon and Yoko owners posed nude.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, they did.

[Tom Griswold]

For the COVID of that album. If you've never seen.

[Bob Kevoian]

No, thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

Said the world. Yeah. It's more National Geographic than only fans. I've seen less hair on a yak. She was a bushy woman, you see.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you very much.

[Tom Griswold]

Thanks, John Heffron. John is at the famous Helium in Indy. And Willie G. Is going to be in Cincy just on Saturday evening at Bombs Away from Comedy. Go to bombswaycomedy.com Patty G. Youngstown @ the Funny Farm Comedy club. Tickets at funnyfarmcomedyclub.com and Emo Phillips and Timmy Cavanaugh, Ann Arbor, Michigan at the Ann Arbor Comedy Club this weekend. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Show Announcer]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. The show is also out there for you on our YouTube channel. Watch and subscribe. This is the the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

As a raider scavenging a derelict world, you settle into an underground settlement. But now you must return to the surface where arc machines roam. If you're brave enough, who knows what you might find. Arc Raiders, a multiplayer extraction adventure video game. Buy now for PlayStation 5, Xbox Series.

[John Heffron]

X and S and PC.

[Tom Griswold]

Rated T for teen.