The BOB & TOM Show - November 28, 2025

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show Free Podcast

Episode: November 28, 2025

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Episode Overview

This post-Thanksgiving edition of The BOB & TOM Show is a wild ride through holiday mishaps, family memories, Thanksgiving food debates, and classic radio comedy. Unfiltered and irreverent as ever, Tom, Chick, Josh, Christy, and their cast of regulars and guests blend personal stories, listener calls, news, comedic sketches, and in-studio antics for a rollicking morning show. The episode features memorable Thanksgiving disasters, viral trends, culinary debates, awkward family encounters, and plenty of signature Bob & Tom absurdity.

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Major Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Thanksgiving Mishaps & Family Memories

Stories of epic holiday fails and infamous family moments dominate this episode:

• Thanksgiving Tablecloth Mishap (01:04):

  • Call-in story: A listener tried the "magician yanks tablecloth" trick, with everything staying on the table except a rogue fork that hit his brother in the forehead—prompting a hospital visit for 10 stitches.
    • Quote: "Everything stayed on the table except a fork. And the fork went flying behind me and stuck my brother in the forehead. He had to go to the hospital." (01:04)

• Chick’s Family Thanksgiving: Gunplay and Birthday Turkeys (03:37):

  • Chick recollects Thanksgivings as an only child, sometimes mixed with his birthday: holding an entire turkey leg, awkward family photos, and, memorably, “gunplay” involving an aunt attempting to shoot his grandmother.
    • Quote: "There was gunplay at one... one of my aunts wanted to shoot my grandmother.” (04:05)

• Tom’s Italian Cat Adventure (06:30):

  • Tom shares the saga of bringing his sister's drugged cats Fluff and Puff from Italy in a "flexible vinyl briefcase," and customs/airport drama.
    • Quote: "I had them in a flexible vinyl briefcase. And they were under the seat in front of you?” (07:00)

• Family Artifacts Gone Wrong—Diaphragm Cat Toy (08:11):

  • Tom on a cat prancing in with a guest's diaphragm: “Fluff came flying down the stairway… with her diaphragm. Like a little mini frisbee.”
    • Quote: "No, I gotta take the diaphragm from the kitty. No, thanks." (08:59)

2. Kids, "Inappropriate" Discoveries, and Embarrassments

• Classroom Show & Tell Gone Wild (05:21):

  • An elementary school caller recounts a 5th grader charging classmates to view their mom’s secret "toy," found on a high shelf.
    • Quote: “He got into his Mom's top shelf of her drawer and brought in her toy and was charging his classmates a quarter to look at it." (05:29)

• Home Recording Scandal (10:04):

  • A listener, Lisa, discovered her sons had secretly recorded her “bedroom noises” and sold the mixtape at school.
    • Quote: “It seems the boys had set their cassette player just outside the bedroom door one night… and decided to make copies and sell to their friends.” (10:29)

3. Thanksgiving Food Trends, Culinary Debates, and Gravy Fountains

• Gravy Fountain Hysteria (13:41):

  • Food & Wine proposes repurposing chocolate fountains for Thanksgiving gravy—eliciting both horror and hunger from the crew.
    • Quote: “The magazine encourages readers to repurpose a tabletop chocolate fountain and fill it with gravy.” (14:20)
    • Josh jokes: “When I was asking Josh earlier about if he had a gravy boat, he referred to it as a yacht.” (15:01)
    • Lively back-and-forth about what foods to dip: cornbread, mashed potato balls, croquettes, “turkey French dip sliders,” and concerns over sanitation.

• Thanksgiving Pizza (55:52):

  • Jess lists ingredients for a "Thanksgiving pizza": pre-made pizza crust, gravy, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, macaroni and cheese, turkey, and stuffing.

• Food Preferences and Admissions:

  • Discussion: Homemade vs. store-bought gravy, family side-dish cheats, favorite leftovers, debate on thin vs. chunky gravy.

4. Viral Trends & Pop Culture: Heidi Bowl, "67", and Wigs

• Heidi Bowl Story (42:09):

  • Revisit the 1968 NFL "Heidi game," where a film pre-empted the last seconds of a game—network chaos and legendary sports lore.

• Viral “67” Score Craze (50:10):

  • Oklahoma basketball fans and kids go wild when a team scores 67—mimicking a viral social media meme of “juggling” when that score appears.
    • Quote: “Friday's game saw a 6, 7 frenzy… hundreds of young students screamed and juggled their hands up and down to mimic a video that went viral earlier this year..." (50:24)

• On-Air Wig Try-ons (117:38):

  • The crew puts on wigs, takes “caption contest” photos, and riffs about potential personas: rock bands, NFL figures, and famous movie characters.
    • Quote: “If you get a chance… name that band. We look like an aging rock band on our fifth final tour.” (117:43)

5. Outrageous News Stories

• Condom Theft Caper (26:13):

  • Canadian truck heist: $90,000 in condoms stolen; accessory jokes abound (“Earrings? Lube? Spermicide?”).
  • Magnum P.I. puns: “You know they're bringing in to hunt for them, don’t you? Sure, naturally. Magnum PI.” (26:34)

• Snake in the Toilet Horror (28:39):

  • Dutch tourist’s “scrotal necrosis” after a cobra bites him on a South African toilet. Irony, fear, and medical detail collide.
    • Quote: “The man suffered what is known is as scrotal necrosis...” (28:49)
    • Chick: “Always flush the toilet before sitting down in countries notorious for their snake population.” (29:52)

• Human Skin Jacket for Sale (65:17):

  • Shock and disgust as Christy Lee reports flesh-like jackets available online: “replica human skin” complete with faces, nipples, and more.
    • Quote: “Buyers are instructed to send in a jacket they know fits and the Flesh Crafter covers it in a realistic replica skin...with faces, nipples and other body parts protruding..." (65:35)
    • Tom: “There’s the logo on it. Dismembers Only.” (66:47)

• Giant Goldfish Invasion (58:11):

  • Invasive football-sized goldfish in Canada & a 67-pound goldfish, "The Carrot," caught in France.

6. Awkward Social Encounters & Thanksgiving Etiquette

• Meeting the Parents (141:53):

  • Pat Godwin nervously preparing to meet his girlfriend’s parents at Thanksgiving. Advice: bring pie & flowers, avoid awkward topics, prepare a “secret sign” to leave, expect embarrassing jokes from the guys.

• Relationship Expert Tips (149:28):

  • Segment on introducing a new partner to relatives, and all the awkwardness entailed—real and imagined.

7. Comedy Sketches & Musical Interludes

• Classic Sketches and Parodies:

  • “Mr. Obvious: Christmas Tree” (98:47)
  • Pat Godwin’s comedic song for his son’s 15th birthday (47:16)
  • “Way Too Early For Christmas” musical bit (85:41)
  • “Ain’t Gettin’ Diddly Squat” (139:29)

• Guests & Standup:

  • Comedians Scott Dunn and Moody McCarthy appear with a Thanksgiving roast sketch (76:48).
  • Al Jackson joins for lively chat on language, side dishes, and generational Thanksgiving traditions (104:00, 112:13).
  • Lewis Black returns to lampoon Thanksgiving and airports (85:36+).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Thanksgiving Disaster Stories

• "There was gunplay at one...One of my aunts wanted to shoot my grandmother." (Chick, 04:05)
• "Fluff came flying down the stairway…with her diaphragm. Like a little mini frisbee." (Tom, 08:11)

Viral Trends & Silly Antics

• "Friday's game saw a 6, 7 frenzy – hundreds of young students...juggled their hands up and down..." (Chick, 50:24)
• "You walk in, there's this huge horse – shouldn't Trojan horse be the Magnum of Trojan?" (Tom, 28:09)

Thanksgiving Food Debates

• "The magazine encourages readers to repurpose a tabletop chocolate fountain and fill it with gravy." (14:20)
• Josh: "When I was asking Josh earlier about if he had a gravy boat, he referred to it as a yacht." (15:01)

Family Gatherings & Etiquette

• "If you're worried things are going to be awkward, just make as little time possible for things to be awkward. Get there five minutes before dinner." (Tom, 151:42)
• "Pat, I got a great idea. Go buy like 30 condoms and get the extra long ones..." (Tom, 152:03)

Absurd News Stories

• "After being bitten by a cobra...what is known as scrotal necrosis." (Chick, 28:49)
• "The Flesh Crafter covers it in a realistic replica skin...with faces, nipples and other body parts protruding..." (Christy, 65:35)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Thanksgiving Tablecloth Mishap: 01:04
• Chick's Gunplay/Gunfire Thanksgiving: 04:05
• Classroom Show & Tell Gone Wild: 05:29
• Tom's Cat/Diaphragm Story: 07:00–08:59
• Lisa’s Bedroom Tape Call: 10:04
• Gravy Fountain Segment: 13:41–15:33
• Heidi Bowl History: 42:09–49:01
• "67" Viral Trend: 50:24
• Condom Heist & Magnum PI Jokes: 26:13–28:34
• Toilet Snake Horror: 28:39
• Giant Goldfish/State Fair Stories: 58:11–63:10
• Human Skin Jacket: 65:17–70:27
• Pat Meets the Parents Advice: 141:53–158:10
• Wig Try-on Segment: 117:38

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Recurring Themes

• Irreverent Spin on Family and Holidays: From disasters to culinary battles to "what NOT to do" etiquette.
• Running Gags: Gravy fountain madness, Thanksgiving pizza, latex/safe sex puns, viral pop culture references.
• Unfiltered Banter: No topic off-limits, from sex jokes to bodily functions to Doris Day references.
• Multi-Generational Friendships and Roasting: Veterans and newer comedians swapping stories, with plenty of playful jabs.
• Classic Bob & Tom Radio Comedy: Parodies, musical stingers, and call-in sketches.

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For New Listeners

If you’re new to The BOB & TOM Show, this episode is a perfect snapshot: zany, fearless, loaded with real-life stories and sharp-tongued wit, with a full helping of Thanksgiving warmth (and weirdness). From family holiday horror stories to debates about what constitutes a legitimate side dish, the morning crew is as wacky and unfiltered as ever—no ad breaks, no holds barred.

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Listen for:

• Wild Thanksgiving family stories
• Call-in disasters (tablecloth forks, secret bedroom tapes)
• Food debates: gravy fountains, Thanksgiving pizza
• Classic Bob & Tom bits (Heidi Bowl, Mr. Obvious)
• Embarrassing real-life moments (family introductions)
• Viral pop culture skewering ("67", wig try-ons)
• Standout guests and musical bits (Al Jackson, Lewis Black, Pat Godwin)

Skip if seeking polished, family-friendly holiday inspiration. Enjoy if you like your morning radio unpredictable, outrageous, and undeniably funny.

Transcript

[Tom Griswold]

I'm too stuffed to screw Too big love on you. I'm short of breath and intercourse is something I can't do? I'm too bloated to bake? My belly's covering my. I'm just one man but right now I weigh as much as a game? Feel like I could pop? I got a deuce to drop? Oh, after that we could try. But babe, you'll have to be on time? Cause I'm too full to. So, babe, you're out of luck. You're out of luck. I guess I couldn't blame you if you called your old boyfriend Chuck. 10 inch Chuck.

[Chick McGee]

Ms.

[Tom Griswold]

Darling, I'm too full to. Good morning. Hello. From coast to coast, it's the Bob and Tom Show. Bob and Tom. Bob and Tom and Tom. Many portions of the upcoming program have been pre recorded, meaning they've already happened and they're about to happen again. So where was I? Oh. Oh, yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, we're glad to have you here. It's the Bob and Tom Show. I thought I'd teach you another phone call. Thanksgiving. Things that happen at. At Thanksgiving Morning Bob and Tom Show. Hey, I got a good story for y'. All. I'd love to hear it. You know how a magician takes a hold of a tablecloth and yanks it? The tablecloth, too? Yeah. It's one of the greatest tricks of all time. What? The tablecloth. I did that. But there was a little catch to this. Everything stayed on the table except a fork. And the fork went flying behind me and stuck my brother in the forehead. He had to go to the hospital. Oh, my God. Sir, you're receiving a standing ovation from the crew. Wait a second. Was your brother's brain affected? Was he crippled for life or anything sad? Oh, no, no. Oh, well, good. He's got 10 stitches in his forehead. God, I hope you yell end of that. There you go. Another great incident at Thanksgiving. Yeah. Now we will be talking about the holidays, things that may be going wrong. Thanksgiving does seem to lend itself to a little bit more interesting interaction with your family. What's Christmas? Typically, it's an early dinner. Yeah. So you gotta. And then there's football. A lot of people don't have to work the next day so they can really, really relax. People are really unwinding. A lot of drinking. Right. Cheering on your team, waiting for the ladies to finish the turkey.

[Chick McGee]

Excuse me.

[Tom Griswold]

And the women. You get in there and bake me a pie.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. That's what happens. Don't play games. We play a big Domino's game there.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm sorry, what?

[Chick McGee]

Play games on Thanksgiving?

[Tom Griswold]

I'm sorry. Can you tell me that story when I. Cake?

[Chick McGee]

No, after the turkey and all the.

[Tom Griswold]

Foods that you're with. Chick just said.

[Chick McGee]

I don't listen to Chick anymore.

[Tom Griswold]

He said. He said, could you tell me that story when I. Go ahead, say it again. Can you tell me that story when I can't sleep later?

[Chick McGee]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Chick, you, your family, We've discussed it on many occasions. You were an only child. Yes. Lived in a double. A double. We called it a double. Now it's a duplex. One family, one side, one family. Did you. You must have had some nice Thanksgivings. Did you have relatives over? Not so much. Did you have. Even though my birthday. My birthday falls right around Thanksgiving. In fact, it probably is on Thanksgiving on occasionally. Some years it is on Thanksgiving. This year it' day before Thanksgiving. So we would incorporate my birthday into Thanksgiving dinner sometimes. There is one picture from my childhood where I am. There is a smiling. Thanks for coming. I am smiling, holding a turkey leg at my grandmother's house. The whole leg. My dad's mother. The whole leg. More grog. And I believe there's a birthday. Was the leg confiscated after the photo was taken? There's a birthday in there somewhere. Oh, that's nice. My mom probably hit me with a turkey leg. I don't know. There must have been some nice moments. Not so many. There was gunplay at one. Gunplay? Yeah. Oh, that's got to be a Thanksgiving to remember one of my aunts. Think of all the great memories you have. Wanted to shoot my grandmother. Your grandmother? Yeah. I don't know how she got involved. Burn the turkey. No. Was that his. Was that his mother in law? Yes. Okay. Oh, now wait a minute. Or is that his mother? That might have been Christmas. No, no, it wasn't his mother. It was his mother in law. Ah. Nothing says Christmas more than gun police were. Police came out.

[Chick McGee]

I remember Thanksgiving before my grandparents moved and they would go hunting in the morning. It was. I remember, very Budweiser and rifles.

[Tom Griswold]

Always good mix. Yeah. They never hunted for each other though, did they?

[Chick McGee]

Not for each other.

[Tom Griswold]

We have a phone call. Here, honey. You wear this hat with antlers on it. I'll get this. Bob and Tom show. Good morning, guys. We're talking about people bringing things in their book bags. Little kids. Yeah. I work in an elementary school and we. A fifth grader one day brought his book bag in, was charging kids a quarter to look in it. He had got into his Mom's top shelf of her drawer and brought in her toy and was charging his classmates a quarter to look at it. A quarter to look at it. A buck for five minutes behind the bar. No. And then, you know, his counselor had to call his mom and say, you need to come in here. And it was a double, too. So they got two for one. Oh, man. Top shelf double. The old double. What do you have to say about that, Donger? So happy in my whole life. The mom, needless to say, moved her kid out of the school within the next week, I would imagine. Okay, well. And that kid is going to be doing mornings on a radio show near you. Wow. Thanks very much. Hey, no problem. Bye. Bye. See, the closest I have to that is the. I had my sister's cat. I had to bring back. It's a long story. My sister had a cat. She was living in Italy, and I brought her two cats back. Fluff and puff. Home from Italy with two cats. Yep. How have we never heard about this story? Now, now. Did you buy them? Did you buy them? Yeah. Did you buy them? You buy them seats or carried them on? I put them in a. I'm sorry. Yeah. You flew home with cats and you carried them on? Yeah. From Italy? Yeah. Oh, boy. Flew from. Let's see. I flew from Milan to jfk. How can you. How can you sit on this story? I had them in a flexible vinyl briefcase. I had them in a flexible vinyl briefcase. And they were under the se. In front of you? Yeah, I kept them under. You put them overhead. But the catch was before they flew. I don't know if this is even legal. The Italian vet gave me packets of syringes and. Oh, yeah, let's shoot them up with, like, some sort of tranquilizer. And why they couldn't give me pills, I don't know. It was Italy. So I had to inject them and I had. So I'm. When I was going through customs, I had two sleepy live cats and what I believe Junkie calls his works.

[Chick McGee]

I was gonna say, how did that work the country?

[Tom Griswold]

How'd that go when you. When you actually injected the cats? I'm sure they loved it. They went to sleep. It could have been a lot worse. He could have given your suppository. Trying to shove him. No, no, no, no.

[Chick McGee]

They took a nap. They didn't go to sleep because that.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, no, they took a nap. They were fine. The cat. Both those cats lived to be almost 20. They were lived forever.

[Chick McGee]

Did you claim them in Customs or did you try to sneak them through?

[Tom Griswold]

No, I claimed them. How'd that go? Oh, it was a little bit rough. How bad? Yeah, I. You must really love your sister. My sister's great in any event, but. So Fluff and Puff ended up living at my house and over the summer I was at home at my parents house in the summertime and I had a friend of mine there and his girlfriend. They were staying in one of the spare rooms. And one day we were all sitting around the living room eating dinner and Fluff came flying down the stairway with this woman. Her name was Karen. With her diaphragm. She had this diaphragm. It was like, you know, a little mini Frisbee. And Fluff Cat had it. Fluff came, you know, zipping down in the living room, walking around with this big diaphragm. Diaphragm. You know, those are in different sizes.

[Chick McGee]

I didn't know cats played catch.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I didn't know he'd put the. That was a little embarrassing, I would imagine. More corn? No, I gotta take the diaphragm from the kitty. No, thanks. But I'm sure people have a lot of interesting stories.

[Chick McGee]

You know, the mental picture I have of you flying on a plane with two cats is just precious.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh yeah. Did you put them under the seat in front of you?

[Chick McGee]

That's what he said.

[Tom Griswold]

In retrospect, I should have saved those syringes for some people I've flown with recently. Really? That's fascinating. Why don't you just let me inject you with this and you can take a short nap so I can gets get some rest. That's a true story though.

[Chick McGee]

I believe you.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know if you could do that these days. I imagine there'd be a problem taking. Yeah, there's a. There's internationally sure. On the Internet of a. What appears to be a golden retriever holding a suction cup. Marital aid in his mouth. A suction cup.

[Chick McGee]

What's a suction cup? I'm confused.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, oh, it's got a vibrator on the end of it. Yeah, it's got the. I see. We want it to hold mounted to a table or a chair wall. You don't want sliding around, do you?

[Chick McGee]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And the look on the dog's face is. Is just precious. Ideally you put it on a mirror. Look what I got, a mirror. Throw it. Throw it. I'm sorry, did you say. Yeah, you put it on a mirror. Wouldn't you? No. Why? Well, depends. What do you. You want to see? What do you want to see? My God. I'm looking around. We have a phone call. Okay, I'll get that. Bob and Tom show. Good morning. Good morning. Who's this? This is Lisa. Hi, Lisa. I'm an avid listener every morning, and I can actually, I think, beat the dildo in the backpack. Story. Oh, what do you got? I got. I got two children. A stepson and a natural son. They're both 30 now with children of their own, but back when they were about 11 years old, I guess. Yeah. I got a knock on my door from a neighbor who handed me a cassette T and said, you might want to listen to this. Oh. So my husband and I popped it into the player and started listening and we heard bedroom noises. Familiar bedroom noises. Very familiar bedroom noises. It seems that the boys had set their cassette player just outside the bedroom door one night. Of your. Of your bedroom. Of my bedroom. And decided to make copies and sell to their friends. It's hard for me to. It's hard for me to relate to that. Could you recreate those noises since you were involved? It was so many years ago. I don't even remember what it sounded like. The days of yelling are over, huh? Okay, maybe we could hook you up with that last caller and you can get one of those vibrating things and suction cup in a mirror and then go to town. Well, thanks very much, dear. I know there was. There was a lot of screaming for God. I'm. I'm sure that he was in there somewhere. Yeah, I'm sure he was.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you, Lisa.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. Thank you. You're welcome. These days, it would be a camera, of course, and a download on the Internet. Yeah, download it and then zing. I mean, phones are so you can slide it right under a door.

[Chick McGee]

Is there an X rated YouTube where you can just put anything?

[Tom Griswold]

Porn tube.

[Chick McGee]

Are you serious?

[Tom Griswold]

Of course I am. Why would I lie to you? Take your time answering, Bob. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I think that's what it's called. Just a sharing community among.

[Chick McGee]

Sharing community, huh?

[Tom Griswold]

You know, people who have to take a break, people who enjoy. Christy needs to look up something.

[Chick McGee]

No, I don't want to see that.

[Tom Griswold]

I just like the way that transparent. Is there a porno YouTube Bob for 300. What is porn two for 400? Is there a pornographic Bob for 600? I'm just wondering. In the world of Bob is. Well, welcome to Black Friday. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom Studios. And welcome to the Best of the Bob and Tom show for this Friday after Thanksgiving, Jamie Lisso is coming up. Al Jackson plus Lewis Black in studio will have some Thanksgiving side dishes and some Thanksgiving pizza on the way as well. Next, a gravy fountain and a little Thanksgiving talk for you. This is the the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show on this Friday morning. This is Christopher and the Bob and Tom Studios. The gang is back in here live on Monday morning. This segment features a gravy fountain and some Thanksgiving friends giving talk. Christy Lee once again at the news desk. What's going on, Willie?

[Chick McGee]

This will help with your hunger pains. Food and Wine magazine has released a series of Thanksgiving day recipes specifically designed to be used with a so called gravy fountain.

[Tom Griswold]

You okay, Josh?

[Chick McGee]

A magazine.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you okay, Josh? Josh, are you gonna. We're talking about gravy fountains. You're gonna feel. You feel guy. He passed out. Oh, my God. He fainted. Tommy fainted. He's out. He's all the way out. Somebody. Somebody. Wait. Wave a pastrami sandwich under his nose. Give him a bathing suit. I blacked out. What happened? Give him a bathing suit, Josh. We were talking about a gravy fountain. Oh, he's gone again. He's.

[Chick McGee]

The magazine encourages readers to repurpose a tabletop chocolate fountain and fill it with gravy. Recipe developer John Summerl has created a gravy. Has created a gravy recipe specifically adapted for a fountain, making it thinner to ensure the machinery does not get clogged.

[Tom Griswold]

Nope, I don't like thin gravy.

[Chick McGee]

Summerl also shared recipes for items you could dip into the fountain of gravery. Gravery gravy, including.

[Tom Griswold]

I have a medal of gravery now, Josh, how dare you mock this brilliant invention. I'm not mocking a gravy fountain.

[Chick McGee]

What would you put in your gravy fountain?

[Tom Griswold]

Cornbread on a stick.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that's good. That's not even on here.

[Tom Griswold]

Fried mashed potato ball I put in there.

[Chick McGee]

Fried mashed potato croquettes is on here.

[Tom Griswold]

What wouldn't I put?

[Chick McGee]

Brussels sprouts, butternut squash and sweet potato skewers are on the list. Turkey quote unquote, French dip sliders.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, geez. Incredible.

[Chick McGee]

So where does the stuffing bites?

[Tom Griswold]

So at Thanksgiving, do you have this thing sitting in the middle of the table like a fondue?

[Chick McGee]

I would think.

[Tom Griswold]

No, they hold it in the kitchen. They hide it. Of course. It's in the middle of the table. Who's got room for a gravy fountain? Well, you just get rid of the olive tray or whatever. Does this come with a cardiologist? Well, because you know, if you eat something that at least bit high calories, you'll have a heart attack right there. Okay, I'm sorry, Josh. I know that you think I'm mocking you by suggesting that you love the idea of a gravy fountain, but. Josh, admit it. When I was asking Josh earlier about if he had a gravy boat, he referred to it as a yacht. That's right. The what? SS Savory is what it's called. Yeah. I would have gone naval ship route. Yeah. Yeah. More of an aircraft carrier. Yeah. Where do you keep that boat? On the end table next to my bed up there on. Don't you have some property right there by your. Oh, that's right. Well, you know, I winter in Cheddar Bay, so it's usually there. The first time. The first time he told me that, you know, not like now. And I'm all tired of him. First time. Oh, man, it was funny. Boy, oh, boy, that was really worth it. First time you're still chasing the dragon, but. Yeah. The gravy fountain.

[Chick McGee]

Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

Aren't the. Wasn't it determined that those chocolate fountains are just full of bacteria? There we go. Yes, they are. There it is.

[Chick McGee]

I'm. I don't. Yeah, probably. I mean, think about how they test the green.

[Tom Griswold]

There you go. A little Billy up there throwing his boogers in them. Oh, great.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Little Billy up there putting his boogers in it. I would love just a private chocolate fountain.

[Chick McGee]

Like the next time you can buy one of those little ones. If I'm sitting in the tabletop model.

[Tom Griswold]

It can't be for me. I don't want to own anything. I don't get to use everything every day. I just want to have it. Like if I'm at a hotel and I got like the two bed situation. I have one bed. That's my sleeping bed and the other bed's my chocolate fountain bed. Yeah, it'd be fun. Really? I don't like any. I don't like food fountains. I'll just be. I'll be honest. Not for me. Yeah, but you do like those guns that shoot hot dogs, right? Love. I mean, those are hilarious. Like a cake cannon. A cake cannon. I've not seen, but I am open to the idea. I bet we could get one made for you. I just got an unwrapped cake. It's got to fall apart by the time it gets at halftime of the game, you're out there and Josh Arnold from the Bob And Tom show. We have a special bazooka here. It's going to shoot out a four tiered layer cake. It's not a bazooka. Go ahead and open your mouth there, Josh. If you're shooting cake, I think the key is wrapping the cake. Yeah. There's got to be something. Cupcakes. It's already got the load in the cupcakes. God, the first time I saw one of those things shooting hot dogs. Oh, dude. This would never happen in the Soviet Union. This isn't. This is only in America. God bless America. We have guns that shoot hot dogs. Take that, you commies.

[Chick McGee]

Do they still do that?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Yep. Is there a bun on the hot dogs? Yes, they're wrapped in foil. Oh, it'd be great if there wasn't. It looks like we have a splitter. Oh, well, somebody got the bun. Somebody got the dog. Let's get these two together. Shortstop got the bun. You know, that's how life is sometimes. The second baseman right there by the picture mount. I'm sorry. Gravy. A gravy fountain. I saw that this morning and I thought, you've got to be joking.

[Chick McGee]

Well, it's in food and wine. What do you expect?

[Tom Griswold]

I also like giblet gravy. So I don't know that the chunks of.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, they wouldn't make it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Defend the gravy. I'm with you, Josh. Yeah. And that's the best thing about Thanksgiving, the gravy.

[Chick McGee]

Do you make your own gravy? That's hard to do.

[Tom Griswold]

Sam makes gravy.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that's right.

[Tom Griswold]

We will admit there are certain things I cheat on. I prefer I go to our friends. I go to our friends Peter and Kathleen for the. That special sweet potato casserole.

[Chick McGee]

Casserole.

[Tom Griswold]

And then you can get there. So they have some pre made gravy.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, they do.

[Tom Griswold]

They have really good stuffing there. The best stuff. Yeah. Oh, it's all good. That's okay for Thanksgiving.

[Chick McGee]

Peter, if you're listening, I'm going to be calling you later today.

[Tom Griswold]

You don't have to do it yourself. Josh, if you determine where you're going to be on Thanksgiving on Thanksgiving Day, I think at my house because my family would be getting together. Some of my family would be getting together that Saturday. Okay, so you're gonna be.

[Chick McGee]

Do you want to come to my place? I'm having Thanksgiving. You're welcome.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, thank you. Wow. Wow. Well, that's depressing.

[Chick McGee]

I don't want you to be by yourself.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no. I may not last year. I had it with Godwin. You know what? Maybe he prefers being by himself as opposed to others. Just you and Pat? No, Jimmy was some bandages. Alcohol to prepare the wrist before the cutting. Alcohol for me. Alcohol for the wrist.

[Chick McGee]

So it was you.

[Tom Griswold]

We had a fine time. I made the whole smear. I made the turkey there, the stuffing, the homemade mashed potatoes, the sweet potatoes. Wait, you made it for them? Yes. You went to them? I made a full meal. You cooked Thanksgiving for Pat? No, we were. Yeah. And then I had just you and Pat across the street and Jennison and Jimmy. Yeah, and where'd you eat it? At your house or his? Yeah, we ate it in my booth. You guys know I have a dining booth? Oh, yeah. It's fun at the booth. Yeah. And then what else do we. We had bottled soda, I think like a real fancy glass Coca Cola. Bottled soda. That's right. Oh, dude, it was. Yeah, that's right. It was the glass. Mexican. We didn't even pay for it. No, I stole it. Locked. I said you stole it from here. Is the booth locked in position or do the chairs scoot out? Because there's so much. There's so much eating, Josh, that. That the table and the booth are going to slide all over the kitchen. So funny. You're get pinned in there. It's locked in position. No, no, I've eaten myself stuck. Is that what you want to hear? The fire department had to come to get Jimmy out. It's kind of like when you take your shoes off on an airplane and then you're going to try to put them back on. Your feet have sort of swollen or what? That's what happens to me every time I eat at my boot. Every time. You son of a. Is that what you want? Did you make a full size turkey? Yeah, it was full size.

[Chick McGee]

What do you think? He made just the breast.

[Tom Griswold]

I knew there'd be two of us, so I had a 28 pounder boy. Now where they go? Turkey with four drumsticks. Is that possible? You have a mutant back there? Crazy mutant turkey. Please. One that runs on all fours. Give me a Chernobyl turkey.

[Chick McGee]

Josh.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

You look great. You're very handsome to him.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you. No, that's fine. Fun. I'm glad you guys.

[Chick McGee]

You're mean.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I was just. Wait. We had pie a lot. A lot of leftovers, obviously. Yeah, yeah, it was a fun. I had a good week of leftovers. Are you getting us those pies? This. This year for Thanksgiving? I actually made some of the phone Calls on Friday. Nice for the. Our pie lady. Isn't that just one phone call? Yeah, yeah, it's. It's 100.

[Chick McGee]

It's no bad. It's not because he has to call Amy to call Amy. Have Amy call the pilot.

[Tom Griswold]

That's the first phone call. Wouldn't you like to see Amy's medicine cabinet? I bet it's full before she takes her medicine. She's all shaky. Yeah. Yeah. Does she wake up like this? It looks like a coal miner's medicine cabinet. Also, we're part of a. You're part of something, Ari. Right? Have you heard of this thing, the friends giving? Yeah, sure. It's a pre Thanksgiving thing in which you, a bunch of friends, get together and do Thanksgiving. It can also happen on Thanksgiving.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, for people that don't have a place to go.

[Tom Griswold]

So we have to get some pies, cookies for that. What a mess you are. Also, can I stop finding about family things that I'm not invited to?

[Chick McGee]

It's a friends thing. It's not family friends.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm not even going. Okay, well, no, it's a friend's thing. No. Why would you go? It's honest. It's. It's not a school night. I'm not going. It's not a school night. I'm not. Oh, gotcha. I'm sure you can go with Kelly. She'd love to have someone with her. Oh, look, Kelly's new boyfriend. That guy's handsome.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that's.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's. That's weird. Got really weird in here. I always thought he was good. So did he. Well, know it's been a weird show today. If you're. If you're new to the show. I'm sorry. Did your dad ever seriously walk up to you at any point, Willie, and go. You know, if you want to come out, it's all right. My first kiss was on a school trip. And then after my math teacher told my dad, and then my dad looks at my math teacher and goes, this guy kissed a girl. Come on. I was getting worried about it. And they high five. I had no clue what to do. That was a joke. I had no clue what to do. True story. Now is your mom gonna have Thanksgiving somewhere? No. She is. Yeah. Her and her husband are gonna have anywhere they want because he's. It'. I blame. I blame myself. Your mother's rich, right? Oh, no, no, no. There's a misunderstanding here. Chick. She's married to a man named Rich. He's not actually Rich and shake.

[Chick McGee]

Do you know.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you know that, that bit? An audience member yelled that at Josh during our shows in Bloomington two weeks ago. Did you know that an audience member yells that at me every show? I do. Your mom's rich for no reason. Fail to get a laugh every time. No, no. It gets a good percentage of the audience. For those who don't know the bit, it's baffling. But that's. You don't want to talk to them. That you're people like Tom. You don't want to suffer. Never mind. Well, let's. Let's move forward. No, but they're having it done in Florida because they're both having a surgery done near Thanksgiving. Well, this could be tragic. Not going to be able to. They're exchanging genitalia. What's happening? That's right. You know what? Why don't we trade? See how this. I'd like to be behind every once in a while. Let's do little freaky Friday thing. Tom, has anyone ever told you you. You're horrible at small talk? Has anybody said that? Yeah, Kelly was telling me that this week. Good lord, what a mess.

[Chick McGee]

Telling you are terrible at small talk and my.

[Tom Griswold]

One of my daughters. I'm going. Do you realize that I am a paid professional when it comes to small talk? What a mess. She's got my 8 year old's now on her side.

[Chick McGee]

And rightly so.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, to be fair. Yeah, she can reason. She can. See, you're gonna run.

[Chick McGee]

There's going to be a time when you run out of being able to make more kids.

[Tom Griswold]

And I'm pretty sure at this point you're medically nuts. I'm pretty sure you're not just full blown crazy. I think he's good. That's good. Dismissed. I'm happy. I'm happy. And Christy Lee is giving me the look over there.

[Chick McGee]

No, I'm just.

[Tom Griswold]

Navy Federal Credit Union.

[Chick McGee]

A lot of hot rubbers about to hit the black market.

[Tom Griswold]

Hot rubber.

[Chick McGee]

Ontario Provincial Police looking for at least two suspects.

[Tom Griswold]

Hot rubbers here.

[Chick McGee]

Who early Friday morning broke into a rural property roughly two out hours west of Toronto and stole a truck containing some $90,000 worth of condoms and accessories.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. I saw this was a big story.

[Chick McGee]

No. Was it?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. You know they're bringing in to hunt for them, don't you?

[Chick McGee]

No way.

[Tom Griswold]

Sure, Naturally. Magnum PI. Condom joke. Ace. Magnum. Get it? No.

[Chick McGee]

Oh my God.

[Tom Griswold]

You buy the Magnums by the case? I think that's a. A gross assumption. H. You use Magnums. He mentioned that on the air. Stereotypical. No. Ace is mentioned on the air. I don't believe you. Sorry. Well, how does he prove it to you? Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. You want him to?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. You know, I take it out and press it against that glass just enough to win. You're in prison and your lover can't wait to. That's. That's. That's the punchline. Take just enough out to win. Oh, yeah. I love it. And. And Ace doesn't even have to stand up to do it. That's this. That's the sc. He just whistles and it slithers out of his zip. So they. So they stole. Hey, fella.

[Chick McGee]

$90,000 worth of condoms and accessories, I guess. Accessories? What would that be?

[Tom Griswold]

Lube.

[Chick McGee]

What is it?

[Tom Griswold]

Spermicide? Earrings. A woman earrings. I think it's cute. You're acting like you don't know what they're talking about.

[Chick McGee]

I don't.

[Tom Griswold]

Christy, have you ever put a condom on a man?

[Chick McGee]

Nope.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh. You ever put one on a banana? Do you wanna. I do that. You've never actually put it on the gun? Never put it on a watermelon. Could we move on? Does it say what brand they were? No. If they were Trojans, just look for a really big horse. Look at him. Look at him. Is the joke there that Trojan ships in the horse? Is the famous Trojan horse?

[Chick McGee]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

At this point. Isn't that. Shouldn't they have that display at drugstore horse. Are we on the big horse? You walk in, there's this huge horse. Shouldn't Trojan horse be the Magnum of Trojan? Yes. There's a new Trojan horse for those of you who are hung like. And coming soon. The Trojan donkey.

[Chick McGee]

This guy's not hung like a horse. A man in Holland had to undergo penis reconstructive surgery.

[Tom Griswold]

My.

[Chick McGee]

After being bitten by a cobra.

[Tom Griswold]

Jeez.

[Chick McGee]

The man suffered what is known is as scrotal necrosis.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, no. That means the flesh is dying.

[Chick McGee]

His testicles were bitten by a cobra. That's right. Doctors in the Netherlands wrote in a case report that while vacationing in South Africa, the 47 year old was going to the bathroom.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh.

[Chick McGee]

When a snooted cobra snake struck from the toilet and bit his genitals.

[Tom Griswold]

I think it's snouted. I'm a co. Is it snouted? Snooted would be. I like to know who I'm going to buy. Yes. Before I. So this guy sits down in the toilet.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

And the cobra comes out of the.

[Chick McGee]

And came out of the toilet. Bit him on the testicles.

[Tom Griswold]

Horrifying.

[Chick McGee]

Man was taken by helicopter to the Nearest trauma center. He received eight doses of snake venom, antiserum, a tetanus shot, antibiotics, and was treated for an acute kidney injury. A urologist surgically removed the damaged tissue before the patient was repatriated to the Netherlands, where a plastic surgeon removed even more dead tissue and performed a skin graft harvested from the groin. The man was discharged about two weeks after surgery and has since made a full recovery.

[Tom Griswold]

My balls are better.

[Chick McGee]

Wow. The incident was detailed in urology case reports where doctors wrote, quote, our take home message. Always flush the toilet before sitting down. In countries notorious for their snake population.

[Tom Griswold]

This happened to a woman. I know. Really? She was actually sitting on the toilet. She was changing her. Her tampa. I'm not trying to be gross, but that's what was happening. She was bit by a snake. Cotton mouth. I enjoyed that very much. You're the one. I agree with Tom wholehearted. You're the one. The punchline didn't matter. I could just watch you tell that joke forever. I could see it arrived. I could see it arrive at your brain. You're going, okay, I'm gonna get this. Yeah, yeah. I'll figure this out. Yeah. Somewhere we're gonna. We're gonna land this. That's terrifying. Tampons.

[Chick McGee]

Yes. This is one of your biggest nightmares.

[Tom Griswold]

And it's always in Australia or in this case, South Africa. Yeah. Where the snakes are. So it's not always an Australian, but I mean, do they swim up the pipes? Sure.

[Chick McGee]

I think.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I would hover. I would never sit down. You know what? I'm going to say this. I'm never going to go there. I'm never going to go to Australia or South Africa. I'd like. I'd love to go to Bo. I will limit myself from those experiences. I will go other places. I'm never going to go there. I swear by it. Right now.

[Chick McGee]

I did this yesterday. I thought it was a piece of dog hair lint on the kitchen floor. And I went to grab it and I went down and picked it up and it was a spider and it went.

[Tom Griswold]

Just a crazy story. Would have been a much better story if you'd been plucking a boyfriend. Well, I was trimming my bush and it turns out it was all daddy long legs. That's hell of a scary. Exactly. There you go. Now you gotta. I love the fact that these doctors are going. Our take home message. Always flush before you sit down in countries notorious for their snake ponds.

[Chick McGee]

Well, that makes good sense.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. Geez, that's. That's scary. Cobras are Huge. Yeah, they're really big. Do they have a rhyme for that one?

[Chick McGee]

A rhyme?

[Tom Griswold]

No. If it's brown, flush it down. If it's. Oh. If it's a cobra snake pee in the lake. Yeah, they have a saying. It's not a rhyme. If it's a cobra cover you're not covering, that's a hybridizer T shirt. We're rocking on a Friday morning. The best of the Bob and Tom show coming up next to Tom sneeze and filling out forms next on the Bob and Tom show. We are back now with more of the Bob and Tom show on this Friday morning. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios, a Tom sneeze is featured. Boy, it's loud. And filling out some forms. Let's find out about that. I've got some exciting stuff coming up today. I'm very, very excited, and of course you're excited. And I'm making my way into the building this morning. I'm on the outside of the wall there, right in front of the door where you have your. Your. Your key as we use our phone or whatever the hell it is. And I'm standing there waiting for the. My phone to be recognized by the gizmo. And I hear Tom sneeze from out. From outside. It's a good one. The door was shut.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, my.

[Tom Griswold]

And I was. I was in here, around the corner in the soundproof area. It was a good sneeze. It was loud. Oh, whoa.

[Chick McGee]

Are you all right?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, just a sneeze. Wow. It's clear on the. He doesn't do. I don't. I don't. I don't understand this. And I have to talk to my therapist or something. I don't. He does everything loud. He yawns loud. He. He sneezes loud.

[Chick McGee]

You have sex loud.

[Tom Griswold]

He stretches loud. A gentleman would never discuss such a thing. I bet it's loud and high pitch.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I bet.

[Tom Griswold]

I bet it's turn the lights back on me High pitch. Right. Right. No. Oh, you mean. Oh, I see. Me high pitched. You know, by the way, Chick mentioned something that we've been meaning to talk to you about. Tom. We do requ. We require our own phones to get into the building here. Right, Right. Technically, the employer should be paying for our phones. That is true if we need it to get into work.

[Chick McGee]

Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

I'll talk to the landlord. Okay. Okay. What the hell? Are you a union steward? What are you talking about? Out. Is that right? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Write that down. Oh, yeah. I'll put it in the suggestion box you have. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That. The one that it feeds directly direct. No, it feeds. No, it feeds directly into a shredder. Don't get upset. That'd be a great visual suggestion box. And then you just see the shredder below it. Do they. Does anyone still have a suggestion box? I have not seen one in a while. There are always those. Yeah. And then they'll put your business card in here for a free lunch. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Business cards much anymore?

[Tom Griswold]

Nobody. Yeah, but technology. One of the things we don't talk about much is how often it doesn't work. Yeah. I spent an hour trying to log in to get. No, you. You skew results. Let me finish my story. There's something that you did and you don't recognize it. Let me finish. It's not the computer's fault. It was one of those things where you're taking your car in for the 20,000 mile checkup and you go, you go, and you go through the thing and you answer all the questions and then at the very end you hit send. And then you drive up three days later and they don't have a record of it. You go, what? But the guy told me. Yeah, this is a new computer system. I would say about 1 in 10 people have the same experience you do. So after filling it all off, it's not your fault, though. Same thing with the hospital. You spend two hours filling out the form. You get there and then they hand you the clipboard.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, when you do it online.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Before you get there, I just really get stuck in your crawls, doesn't it? You want. You want people to know with your name and maybe your Social Security number, they know everything about piled somewhere so you don't have to fill out a form. Is it necessary every time you go to any new doctor to fill out that form? Evidently. I can only imagine the bread tape. Why isn't there just a. If you could sign up for a service where. Okay, look, this one. Yeah. I'm willing to put my history on this thing. And then. Here you go. Here's the. Here's the number. Punch it in and you'll get. Get it all. I don't even have. There's so much going wrong. This really upsets you and I'm a waste of my time. And then they give you a little tiny. What else are you gonna do? They give you a crappy pen and not enough room to write anything. So you wanted a nice credenza and a desk and. No, I want. I spent two hours I spent two hours online filling out your stupid form. And these days, before you've even hit the door, you've got to think, how was our service? Nervous. Tell them us. How did we do?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that's kind of, you do this.

[Tom Griswold]

In every area of your life. You, you get so upset about stuff that you don't, you, you can't have any control over. But, man, are you pissed about it. Do you think it's a, what they call kick the dog syndrome? He watches the news. He watches, you know, he has a family stuff going on. He's okay. Okay. Something small like filling out a form happens and he hits the roof. But it's not small. It takes all, all of his time, time filling a form out. What am I doing wrong, chick? Because it's probably me, not the electronics, because I see other people use them. I tap, tapping the card. I can't, I, I, I, I never get it.

[Chick McGee]

Sometimes the cards don't work right.

[Tom Griswold]

I get it. Sometimes I get it probably 7 out of 10 times. Okay. The first time I tap. Yeah, that, that's almost everybody. All right. I was behind a guy, I was behind a guy yesterday. Tap, tap. Put it in the Chick Fil A. I think it was the Chick Fil a drive thru person. I, she, she gave me the card thing and said, you can either insert or tap. And I inserted and I said, can you kind of tell who's going to insert and who's going to tap based on age? And she said, absolutely.

[Chick McGee]

I get that.

[Tom Griswold]

No. Are you concerned about the germs all over that machine that they just handed you? Yeah, but I'll wash my hands before I get home. All right. When I get home to eat the Chick Fil A. Oh, you don't, you don't pop it right in your mouth? What? No, I'm not a. I, I, believe it or not, I am not a. Aren't you. Reformed machinery, liquor? Weren't you like, whatever you would run into, you just give it a good licking? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. ATMs. Uhhuh. Yeah, the gas pump. Oh, the gas pump. The final straw was when I, I got kicked out of McDonald's for sucking on the soft serve machine. Oh, yeah, yeah, they'll, they'll get. But you got a 20 work. So that was, I siphoned. That was a positive. Yeah, well, and that. Christy, you go to the same gym I do, and every single time you go, then you get the thing the next day going. How did we do yesterday? I, I don't need it every Day I'm there.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Many, many days a week. They don't have to ask me every day. I'm just saying.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, maybe if you fill it out once, they'll leave you alone.

[Tom Griswold]

No. You guys run into each other at the gym? Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

No, no, we never do. We work out different times.

[Tom Griswold]

Different. Different times. Have you wrapped each other down at any point? Like a massage? Yeah, do each other. You help me.

[Chick McGee]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Tom Griswold]

Just. Just Pat. Okay. We have a. Unusual thing going on in the world of dreaming and a allegedly collective dream that is spreading. You don't believe in those? No. Have you. Is it. Is this the story? Have you guys. This has been for a couple decades. People dream of the same man, and they don't. They have no idea who he is, but they've had artists, like sketch artists draw him and it's the exact same guy.

[Chick McGee]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

Just appearing in all these people's dreams? It's not Freddy Krueger. No, no, I know what you're saying. Yeah. This is somewhat similar to that. Wow. The next time you run into one of these problems, like, you're filling out all these forms. Yes. You really put up. Try this. Will you try this? Just say to yourself, well, that's just the way it is. Or you seek road construction. You don't know why they're fixing a road or they're. They're redirected traffic or whatever else upset you for no reason. You just. Well, that's just the way it is. I'm a critical thinker chick. You know, my dad used to lost art for. My dad used to say, well, that's life in the city. There you go. And he would. It would roll off his back. Now that's life. By the way, you'll be glad to know that you. I brought in the. I bought a. Six boxes of the. More stale snacks of the Fig Newmans.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, the.

[Tom Griswold]

The. The. From the Paul Newman. Why doesn't Nabisco sue? Yeah, that's. That's a little close. Come on. Well, Fig Newton is ours. First of all, Mr. Newman is giving the proceeds to charity. Well, not portions. Portions. They probably have an arrangement. In any event, I wrote a letter. If I'm R.J. nabisco of Protest.

[Chick McGee]

Did you write a letter? But where did you buy them from?

[Tom Griswold]

Hold it, hold it.

[Chick McGee]

It's not the Newman people.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, it was. It was to the Amazon. You got stale Fig Newton's. Newman's. And you wrote six boxes of them. A sternly worded letter to Amazon because they were Stale. Okay. You took time that's already you told us. So valuable that you don't have any. Any time to fill out of form or what the hell ever. People wasting your time. I'm guessing it takes you about five or six hours to write a letter.

[Chick McGee]

You realize Amazon gets a lot of their things from other small distributors.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I'm just. I just hope whoever it was them for a while, I. Whoever it was, I hope they shut them down and all the people who work there won't lose their job.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

If you're going to. While you're selling me stale fig Newmans, you're damn right I would. Coming up next hour on the Bob and Tom show, comedian Scott Dunn and Moody McCarthy. Plus Thanksgiving pizza is on the way. Next, the Heidi Bowl. And six, seven. It's next on the Bob and Tom Show. Bob and Tom. You're with the Bob and Tom show on a Friday morning. The best of the Bob and Tom Show. This is Christopher here in the Bob and Tom studios. Here's a segment about the classic Heidi bowl controversy. And we're gonna talk. Six, seven. There's Jess Hooker. Hi. She's at the SILAC insurance news desk. I am Pat Godwin. Hello. Gonna roll out a song here. You guys were. I heard you guys talking about it. I think we're doing one right now. All right. There's Jeff. Oscar I met. I'm sitting in the chair. Hugh Jackman sat up. Nice. Very nice.

[Chick McGee]

I just wanted to say that I didn't get a chance to sniff the chair.

[Tom Griswold]

We need to explain with zero warning. Yeah. And then I found out about 10 minutes before it was going to happen and I didn't tell anybody.

[Chick McGee]

That's why you found out 10 minutes before it happened?

[Tom Griswold]

I didn't tell anybody. And we were sitting in here blabbing away and the great actor Hugh Jackman walked in the studio and we have some clips, I assume.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, we have tons.

[Tom Griswold]

He was such a great guy. He's super funny. Hey, hey, Wolverine. Hey, hey. And is it as it happened, I had seen him on. We had flown to New York just to see him on Broadway. Hey, it's Van Helsing. And obviously he's been in a bunch of great movies and I and Chick prompted me to tell the story. That was very awkward. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you for that.

[Tom Griswold]

How about. How about I tell it? The essence of the story was that these people from the distance. From a distant land. These people from a distant land. These two ladies only knew him from Wolverine and didn't know Any English and didn't speak English. Got a kick out. The only word that you could hear, he was able to spin out Wolverine. Perfectly reasonable. That's it. True story. But I will say this. Of all the very famous people that have come through this studio, the nicest guy ever. I've just amate. During the break, he and Godwin were singing songs. It was.

[Chick McGee]

It was so. It was surreal and behind the scenes. We knew a couple of hours before you guys did, but I was standing in the prize closet getting stuff, and Jason comes in. He goes, I have to tell you something, and you're not going to believe me when I say it. And I said, okay. And he goes, hugh Jackman might be here. And I was like, shut the up. What's my immediate response? And then it was like, oh, my gosh. He really. He's here. It was insane.

[Tom Griswold]

You know what Tom said to me after. After all of it? I. I walked up to him and I gave him a look like, wow, how cool was that? That? And he goes, don't ever question one of my surprises again. See, we all thought it was the Mac and cheese. First off, he had nothing to do with it. No, nothing. Not a thing.

[Chick McGee]

Nothing.

[Tom Griswold]

Second, no, but I told you there was a surprise coming. That's all I said. And you always say my surprises are no good. I stand by, for example, the surprise where all of a sudden, Joe Theisman walked in the studio two out of 40 years.

[Chick McGee]

Most of the time, it's cake.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Here's a guy who talks backwards with his ass. Oh, you show me a guy talking backwards with his ass, and I'll get Jackman back in. I'm sitting right here. Well, you know, if he was the nicest Peter Frampton and Chew Jackman, that means that somebody has to tell everybody who the. Who the meanest. I don't do that. I'll tell you. I. I will. No, no, no, that's not necessary. Remember how everybody was scared to death of David Lee Roth? Everybody was traveling with him. Remember that? Yeah, but he was fine with us. Well, yeah, there. There are a couple guys that had a bad day in here. Gallup Gallagher, but I still like his art. Lindsay Buckingham. He yelled at a guitar tech in front of us. That was hot. That was kind of cool.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, look, are we gonna start telling stories about people yelling at people?

[Tom Griswold]

Would I be feature one of those stories?

[Chick McGee]

You might be at the top of the list.

[Tom Griswold]

What are you talking about? The interesting thing is, Hugh Jackman said that his best friend in Australia is a Morning radio guy. And he just loves radio. So I said to him, well, if you happen to be in town again, because he comes here frequently. Frequently, Yeah. I said, do you want to come in and just sit in all morning? He goes, oh, I'd love doing that. Yeah. What?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Now wait a minute. Maybe he was just being calm. No, he was serious.

[Chick McGee]

A big thank you to our friend Craig Dobbs, who made this happen.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, thank you, Craig. I like to look at things like Josh does now every now and then. So we'll pull into the parking lot. Oh, it's Hugh Jackman again. He won't. Can we get. Can we get him out? He was on. He's been three straight days and he wants to come in for a fourth day.

[Chick McGee]

Ellen Camp do that once.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, he just. Every day. It was fun. Pat, weren't you going to do a song? Yes. Oh, I don't want to knock chick off, please. No, I'm asking. 2, 3, 4. Oh, now I understand. I understand that it's your son's 15th birthday. Oh, you want to do that one? Okay. Today is attaboy, Jimmy. 15 years old today and I've written a little song for him. All right. Oh, my son is 15, he may not make it to 16 he wakes up late for school moody and mean I remember when he was 10 aw, he was my best friend Aw, sweetest he could be then he turned 15 gotta beg him to shower now Put on deodorant and brush his teeth and as for his unmade bed I'm afraid love gonna need doesn't walk the dog like I ask or do any little household task his hair's the messiest I've ever seen my son is 50 never leaves his room always on his devices video games and YouTube are his vices he's up till 3am online with his friends and if that door is locked I damn sure better knock Cause my son is 50 he won't go to the pool now or out to the movies he won't come fishing, ride his bike or hang out with me he's always on his headphones what's a daddy to do? Friends tell me I gotta wait till he's nice again at 22 my son is 15 and he won't make it to 16. Yes, there we go. Happy birthday, Jimmy.

[Chick McGee]

Happy birthday, Jimmy.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I actually heard over the week. I was at Disney World and I overheard some guy saying, oh, man, there's nothing better than a five year old boy. And that is just the truth.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, they're blast.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, Funny. They are funny. They're the best.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Four year old, Great. Three year old. Yeah. But yeah. No one has ever said, oh, your son's 15. That's a great age. No.

[Chick McGee]

When they start having their own opinions.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I hate that. Yeah. And I, I'm not in favor of a lot of tax breaks, but I do think, think that all junior high school teachers should not have to pay income tax. Yes. Because they are heroes as far as I'm concerned. Good luck. I guess there's an odor problem that comes in. It's one of the grades, right.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I, I changed my major because of the odor issue. I, I was shadowing a teacher when I was a freshman in college and I was like, no, these kids stink. This is gross. Right after recess, I'm out. I'm not doing this.

[Tom Griswold]

And they're not used to deodorant or anything yet or. Yeah, yeah. I don't have the email anymore because it, it, I shifted over to, to Gmail from the original email service that I had. And when I shifted, the other one went away. But I, I, at one point there was a, there was a letter from the school where four of my kids were in attendance at the time. The letters that was banning the use of a certain deodorant product. Oh, body. Okay. But this is the opposite problem. It's body odor. But I mean, it was, it was, yeah, boys, they were all, they were all wearing a certain brand. I think you can guess what it was. But there was quite literally from the head of the school. They are not allowed to wear. But that's a great song, Pat. Very. Thank you. He's a great kid. Can you do the basketball score story? Do you have that or was that given to Ms. Hooker? I don't know what you told. I don't have a basketball story. Would check. Okay. Okay, basketball. So you're telling me what story to do now, exactly? Fans at Oklahoma University went wild after the women's basketball team reached 67 points during a game against North Alabama. Friday's game saw a 6, 7 frenzy when the numbers appeared on the scoreboard. Hundreds of young students on a field trip screamed and juggled their hands up and down to mimic a video that went viral earlier this year and helped bring 67 into the pop. You know how to do it, Ch. Nope.

[Chick McGee]

Anytime, say 6, 7, 6, 7, 6, 7.

[Tom Griswold]

That's how it's done. You take your, like you're, it's like you're juggling. You take your hands up and down. That's how you learn how to juggle. Do that with. Without balls. Yeah, the. I was at Disney World, like, and at one point we were having a snack in one of the giant cafeterias there. And there they have some huge screen that is scrolling stuff. And of course, I was with four young ladies. Kelly and I were escorting them through the park and I don't know what it meant, but all of a sudden they all scream because the 67 written out. 67 what? Yeah, I don't know what it meant, but there it was. Yeah, but it's, it's, it's a thing. I like their kids just, they just have their little thing.

[Chick McGee]

I think a part of it is, is that they love that we don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I think it's great. Yeah. I say to my. Yeah. Relatively innocuous. Everyone's caught on and it's going crazy. Will it. At the NBA games, are they. When it gets. Are they going to start doing that or. Sure, they will.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, they have to.

[Tom Griswold]

Has it ever happened at a soccer game? A soccer game? Ever had that much scoring? Two, three. An offensive. Oh, God. I have a question. Do you think there's some douchebag out there has. Yes. Already got us a 67 tattoo?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe. I, I. There are some tattoo artists listening to the show. I'm just curious. Hi, Donnie. If have you said 67 to your kids? They look at you and go, that's not it, dad. That is not it. 67, Jimmy. That's not it. No, I, I might as well say Kirk Guard to them. They just would you suppose there's some douchebag out there with like a was up tattoo? Oh, ye. What you want, but man was up had the imagination of the country. But I mean, this stuff comes and goes and now I think these come and go even more quickly.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, the fact that we know about it means it's over, right? Oh, yeah. I mean, by definition, if I'm using a term, it is no longer hip. Just that's, that's just the reality of life. On this day in 1968, the last minutes of a tense NFL matchup on NBC between the jets and the Raiders were preempted by the children's film Heidi. The network received thousands of calls from angry viewers and formally apologized. NBC, let alone the entire country, had no idea that the National Football League, and in this case the American Football League, was that popular across the country. The. The head of the network. Yes. I think he was on vacation and he was watching. He couldn't get through. He. He wanted to. He was. Put the game back on. Put it on. Yeah, it was something else. Have there been any incidents of that caliber since then? I can't think of any. Right. They cut away from some games that were too boring. Well, that's a league rule. I think there's like 35 points or something with ones they had or something like that. They can switch, I guess. Something like that. Okay, we have the. One of those cool sweatshirts being worn by the currently bearded Mr. Oscar. Hey, can we do a video of you taking the beard off? Sure, man. Are you really going to get it this short? You're going to get it this short. Do you want me to get a professional stylist in here? Yeah, why not? We want to be kind of fun. I get why. I get why you. Whatever you want to. I know a really. I know a really hot one we could get in here.

[Chick McGee]

No, it's not going to help.

[Tom Griswold]

All right. Why not?

[Chick McGee]

Because he has a significant other.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Yeah. She's okay with hot chicks. I bet you take the trash out for your hair cutter. Yah, that haircutter. And I think she's single. You bast it. Oh, so good. You're helping Pat. She's a single gal, Josh. Okay, well, that's going to be something. Oh, yeah. Well, yeah. Don't. Don't cut it off. I want to do it in here. So we can do it. We can get a film, but it'll be fun. He'll look like Tom Hanks and cast away.

[Chick McGee]

We let you do it.

[Tom Griswold]

You shave? No, I. I have many skills. That's not one of them. You never cut the. The boy's hair? Put them in the kitchen? No. Never blank it out? Never. Okay. My mom used to do that to me there for a while and it was. It was unbelievable. I thought you guys was rich. So do you want to get a haircut too? Yeah. Oh, that. We can do the whole shampoo? The whole thing. How about. How about a glow? You get your eyebrows, you get all of it. Wax your ears? Yeah. Oh, I could probably get the wax. We can do the whole thing. Good. I could get that waxing. Lady, you're the hairiest guy around. Yeah, great. You need a limo home. You'd be bleeding so much. Coming back in just a minute here on the Bob and Tom show. Some post Thanksgiving pizza, goldfish and cows all coming up. Should be great. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Bob and Tom. Thanks for tuning in on this Friday morning. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios here on the Bob and Tom show. The best of the Bob and Tom show for a Friday morning. Some post Thanksgiving pizza. Goldfish and cows. Let's talk about right now. We are all kind of in that post Thanksgiving mode. Just congratulations. Delicious. A Thanksgiving pizza. The quick recipe on the air is.

[Chick McGee]

What any pre bought, pre made pizza. Crust, gravy, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, macaroni and cheese if that's your like. And obviously turkey, stuffing, what else? Oh, and stuffing.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, stuffing. All delicious. Yeah. What a great idea. It's amazing. And of course, Ace is eating nothing but pizza, including quite a variety of pizza. But now he can eat anything. All you need is a pizza crust and you can put anything on.

[Chick McGee]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

And it's a pizza. I know that. That's why I can do this. I think it's a real way to get around it. But that's. No, it's a pizza. There's a variety you have to look at. You have to look at pizza the way I look at pizza people. Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, God, I'm so scared. Yeah, me too.

[Tom Griswold]

Get the kids in the other room. There's a wide variety of pizzas out there.

[Chick McGee]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't have to like them all.

[Chick McGee]

Stop talking.

[Tom Griswold]

But you're aware they exist, right? Sure. And some of those pizzas scare you. So what should.

[Chick McGee]

So what should we put on the St. Patrick's Day pizza next week? Obviously corned beef and cabbage, right? Anything.

[Tom Griswold]

Potato.

[Chick McGee]

Red potato?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. Potato. Yeah. I'm not gonna be indulging in that one. No, I'm gonna eat it all and fart up the studio. Real nice. Dip it in a Guinness.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, there you go.

[Tom Griswold]

That'd be a fun YouTube segment. Farting up the studio with Josh Arnold.

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

A day later, guys will walk in here, your corpses will be laying. They took their masks off too soon. Ladies and gentlemen, a reference to all quiet in the western front. Yeah. My guarantee that will win the soundtrack academy award. It's a terrific soundtrack. Minimalist, but effective. Using an instrument rebuilt from that era. Sound editing should win too. If it's not. If you haven't seen that movie, it's amazing. Disturbing to say the least. Not a lot of laughs. No. Maybe kind of one chuckle. Yeah, I don't know where that'd be. Oh, where? The tank. Yeah, I know what you're talking. No, not the tank. Never mind. I laughed at the. When the guy got lit on fire, I laughed. Laughed on that because that was. It was gruesome. It was Terrible. And then when his head rolled by, that was kind of fun. Okay, I'm sorry. We'll move forward. Christy Lee is at the Bob and Tom news desk. Have we missed anything?

[Chick McGee]

Experts are warning that invasive football sized goldfish are spreading throughout parts of Canada.

[Tom Griswold]

All right, goldfish. Sticking it to the man. I want to go to my state fair up there then. Yeah. My goldfish are this big.

[Chick McGee]

Brian Heist from Thompson Rivers University said thousands of large invasive goldfish are multiplying in bodies of water around British Columbia.

[Tom Griswold]

If Thompson. What is it? Thompson. What University?

[Chick McGee]

Thompson River.

[Tom Griswold]

If TR Rivers doesn't swell, sweat doesn't. I'm having a stroke. Sell sweatshirts that say stay true to your school. What are they even doing?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, you're right.

[Tom Griswold]

I am so sorry I stopped the show for that.

[Chick McGee]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Tom Griswold]

That's. We're all feeling better about ourselves.

[Chick McGee]

According to Brian, female goldfish don't even need a mate to reproduce. They can release as many as 50, 000 eggs at a time.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm Brian and I'm a gold fish expert.

[Chick McGee]

Brian Heiss explained that the invasive fish compete with native species for food and space while carrying parasites and diseases that can spread to other fish.

[Tom Griswold]

It's in their poop. Okay, I'm trying to see. I'm trying to look up the Thompson Rivers University bookstore. The idea of a stay true to your school. Here's the book. I just want to see if. Here we go. Shop clothing. And I want to just see if there's a. So far, no. But it's tr. It is Tru. And they've got a pretty cool looking logo. You can buy an adjustable face mask.

[Chick McGee]

Thompson Rivers University in British Columbia, I imagine.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, it's in Canada. It's not a real couple. No, it's. They say Zed there instead of Z. Weirdo place. Beautiful school. I backpacked across the campus one day. I never will forget. It's. How hardy do these goldfish have to be? They're living in the cool climate of Canada and I can't keep a goldfish from the state fair alive for three weeks.

[Chick McGee]

My ex has goldfish in his pond. They live all winter, it freezes over and then they live next spring. There they are.

[Tom Griswold]

Huh.

[Chick McGee]

So they can do that.

[Tom Griswold]

Can you get a picture? We don't like to see that.

[Chick McGee]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. You're not supposed to flush them. That's where they come from, right? That is where they come. It makes them stronger. I read that. And you're going to go. Shut up. If you Want to start breeding a race of super goldfish? Start by flushing them down the toilet. I'm telling you, they just adapt.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, they adapt in the sewer system.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. It's like they're swimming and against the fluff. And it's strong. I'm telling you, it's like when they sent Batman into that pit. The adversity just made him stronger. I have an idea. You make the dark your ally. I was born there. Back, I think in the 1920s, there was a fad in which people were drinking them. No, they were swallowed. Remember, that was the fraternities. They'd swallow a goldfish. That was part of the initiation. Some of the guys would have a goldfish come out of their navel. They could do this. Of course. How big are they goldfish?

[Chick McGee]

They're large. It doesn't say how big they are. They just say large, gold, football sizes. Football sized. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Might be some choking. Yes. Work one of those down. Maybe that's a bad idea.

[Chick McGee]

It's not our only goldfish story. A British man. So we're going to the other continent.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Went viral after catching a giant goldfish. According to the BBC, Andy Hackett reeled in the 67 pound fish while on a trip to Champagne, France.

[Tom Griswold]

Caught it, didn't I? Yes.

[Chick McGee]

The giant fish known as the carrot was introduced to blue water lakes 20 years ago and proved to be an elusive catch ever since.

[Tom Griswold]

How much did it weigh?

[Chick McGee]

67 pounds.

[Tom Griswold]

We're gonna need a bigger bowl. To quote Hackett said the battle to.

[Chick McGee]

Reel the behemoth in lasted 25 minutes. After taking photos of his colossal catch, hatchet released carrot back into the water.

[Tom Griswold]

There. Off you are.

[Chick McGee]

Hackett said the fish is a hybrid of a leather car carp and a koi carp.

[Tom Griswold]

Is it? Is that the koi carp? That's the koi. You know what he used for bait?

[Chick McGee]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

Ironically, a ping pong ball. Oh, sure. Took me a while. See? Well, I see at the state fair, you have to heat the ping pong ball into the milk bottle and. Yeah. No, you throw the ping pong ball, fall into the goldfish bowl and you get the goldfish. Yeah. All right, so the milk rings go around the pit. Yeah. The milk bottle is the thing that you have to knock over. Right. That can't be. All the ones those are. That are glued together. Yeah. You see those horrible pictures. The earthquake in Turkey. Only left standing was that fair, those three bottles? Oh, it was. It was rough. Yeah. Collapsed buildings. You could have used a fictional earthquake. Yeah. You really could have. Could have said Atlantic City or something. You could have just said, you know, like an earthquake. Even during earthquake, you didn't have to say in the 1906. And none of the bottles fell over in San Francisco. Okay. Would have been better.

[Chick McGee]

Speaking of the state fair, what do you think of when you think of the fair? You think of cows, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Getting a beach. Oh wait, you guys have different fairs. I think, I think of Josh. Josh being afraid. Afraid to get on the Ferris wheel. You don't like the Ferris wheel? No, I'll do it. But boy, am I unhappy up there. What if you get a beach at the top? I don't think I could. I don't think I could. No kidding. Yeah, like a performance anxiety thing. You get terrified. Terrified up there. Yeah, Christie's been on it.

[Chick McGee]

I went with him. Yeah, he was terrified.

[Tom Griswold]

She couldn't even. No. But yeah, I was very scared.

[Chick McGee]

He was very scared.

[Tom Griswold]

So. I'm sorry. I think of the state fair. I think of goldfish.

[Chick McGee]

Well, I think of cows and the dairy industry. And keeping calves happy and healthy apparently is important. Especially during weaning. New research shows a little human interaction can do the trick.

[Tom Griswold]

Like sex?

[Chick McGee]

Not sex. Oh, is everything sex with you?

[Tom Griswold]

You said come here, Vili.

[Chick McGee]

Particularly if it means a nice neck scratching for the.

[Tom Griswold]

You don't want to name a cow Vili. Or cutlet or brisket or floor shine or fillet. You want to avoid. You want to avoid leather jokes. Well, if is it, isn't it casual jacket. How are you?

[Chick McGee]

Scientists from the University of Florida reveal in a new study that socialization with other calves and. And humans, even if only for five minutes, can improve the calves well being.

[Tom Griswold]

So they just want to hang out with their buddies. Yeah, they're social. Makes sense. I see, so like you're supposed to rub them like you would a dog.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Scratch their necks.

[Tom Griswold]

That's what it said.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Sounds like fun. Do you have to go for the nipples? Give you a little bit of a little rub while you're down there? Not right away. You want to maybe kiss it on the neck first? Go to dinner, maybe put a hot movie on Notebook. Helps me. Makes you really happy. Well, you don't kill them and eat them, right? Yeah, that tends to improve their well being. Oh, I'm sorry. You're the one that named your cow veal and I'm the dick. I named it Veely. Okay, okay.

[Chick McGee]

All right. Talking about jackets.

[Tom Griswold]

All right.

[Chick McGee]

Online shoppers can now order so called human skin jackets on ebay. Sickening the flesh crack states in their Listing for the made to order product that the gruesome garments are made from. Quote, replica human skin.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, no.

[Chick McGee]

Buyers are instructed to send in a jacket they know fits and the Flesh Crafter covers it in a realistic replica skin. A sample image shows a jacket fashioned out of a large patches of skin stitched together size 14, with faces, nipples and other body parts protruding from various areas.

[Tom Griswold]

Faces and nipples.

[Chick McGee]

The jacket reminiscent, of course. Of course by.

[Tom Griswold]

That's one of the coats made by.

[Chick McGee]

Buffalo Bill and Silence of the Lambs, according to the listing. The. What would you pay for a custom made skin jacket?

[Tom Griswold]

A thousand bucks.

[Chick McGee]

720. It's a bargain for you.

[Tom Griswold]

Do they have any for a great big fat person? This is. These are disgusting.

[Chick McGee]

The Flesh Crafter sells other gory replicas, Josh.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, really?

[Chick McGee]

Including a human nipple necklace and death masks from both historical and fictional figures.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. What was Ted's last name? Buffalo Bill. The actor. Ted Lavine Levine. That's right. Yeah. I'm looking at one of these. It's pretty scary. And it looks like human flesh. I don't think I could. I don't think I'm. I'm sure if I had one. I couldn't go to sleep in the house if it was in there.

[Chick McGee]

No, there's no way.

[Tom Griswold]

There's no way. There's the logo on it. I'm uncomfortable hearing about it. What's the logo? Dismembers Only. Oh, it's a Dismembers Only jacket. Okay. I believed him. He really, really. He's getting much better at selling it. Yeah, he really is. Are you familiar with. Ms. Hooker? Are you familiar with the. There was a thing. I don't know if they're still out there.

[Chick McGee]

They are.

[Tom Griswold]

They're the Comeback Members Only jackets. I will tell you that. That was the original ace Cosby Chick McGee fight, I'm going to say, 40 years ago. What was the fight about? Q95 members only jackets. Radio station we all worked at, and everybody was going to get a station jacket except the la. The first person hired me, I was the rookie. And Ace chirped and said, if he gets one, I quit. Are you serious? Yeah. I did not. That's his defense. Of course you wouldn't remember it because you said awful things like that to people all over the world. But I was the one you said it to, so naturally I would remember. They were very. There was a store I used to go to right down. Down here, about three or four miles across from the mall. It was called the Style Store for Men with Big Members Only. Yeah, Yeah, I remember. They wouldn't let me in. But you went this way. Yeah, yeah. They made Lyndon Johnson's pants. They were black Members Only jackets with red. Yeah, I. 90% sure I still have it.

[Chick McGee]

Are you serious?

[Tom Griswold]

Good for you. Yeah. Jerk. I didn't say that.

[Chick McGee]

I'm glad you're not carrying.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you get one? Make that up? Yeah, I got one I'm pretty sure I stole. Wait, you still got a jacket? What are you bitching about? You. You were working at the AM anyway. Oh, yeah. Am. Don't get jacked. Who listens to that? They were. They were thinking about changing me to the. You're still on the miners? See how he is. Do you hear that? I can. I'm not sure if that happened or if I'm making it up. You're making it up horrible, mem. Anybody's known me for five minutes knows how wonderful I am. We welcomed you down the hallway to the fm. Yes. And it was your idea. So this is what you get. Ace is as mean in the hallways as Christie is. Oh, yeah. Two bullies. Out of my way.

[Chick McGee]

Get out of there.

[Tom Griswold]

Yep. We, Josh and I look at each. Are they out in the hallway?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Or something like, oh, it's safe. And we zip down there. Last week, Christy shoved me in a file cabinet like the bullies.

[Chick McGee]

You're not supposed to tell people that. That was my me.

[Tom Griswold]

She called me a gay babe. Really hurt my feelings, by the way. Chunkles is what she says. If you're. If you want to get one of these. Flesh Crafter. And why wouldn't you? They have 100% positive feedback, as you suggested, on ebay with more than 3,500 reviews. It's two words. Flesh crafter. Crafter with a K. All right. Gory replicas.

[Chick McGee]

No, thanks. You can have that.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. Would you wear them in the rain? No. No. This is too Halloween.

[Chick McGee]

Maybe even too gory for you.

[Tom Griswold]

It's gross. You know, the person who's running this has, like, all kinds of piercings in their face and the side of their head shave. Oh, yeah. They're weirdos. Oh, yeah. Their face tattoo. It's perfect for you because you hate it when people talk to you. Just you. You put this on. You put this on, people are going to keep their distance. Yeah. Have you seen Psycho over there with the nipples on his jacket? You mean, if I wore this, people wouldn't bother me at all?

[Chick McGee]

You think you would get arrested? I bet people wouldn't know that. I mean, how would you know?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Somebody might go, oh, my Lord.

[Chick McGee]

Right. And think it's real. Do you get to pick your skin tone?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, well, there you go. Yeah. I don't know. That's a fair question. And I don't know what kind of maintenance it needs. If you have to. Well, it's just put on spf, that human flesh jacket. Cultural appropriation. It's got nipples for elbow patches. I don't know if this is true, but someone emailed about the goldfish. This is from Dick. Hey, Dick. Dick says goldfish are often frozen. Frozen? So they can be transported more easily and then put in slightly warmer water and it revives them and they're fine. Wow. Again. I get a goldfish at the state fair, dead two weeks later. I'm just telling you.

[Chick McGee]

Well, maybe your habitat is.

[Tom Griswold]

You don't seem like they're up every year by the tank and the filter and the. Sounds to me like one of your children is a budding psychopath. Likes to hold the goldfish a little too long. I was squeezing the goldfish and its eye fell out. I floppy died. Coming right back with more of the best of the Bob and Tom show, comedians Scott Dunn and Moody McCarthy. It's next. Come on back. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Bob and Tom. It's Friday, and welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. The best of the Bob and Tom Show. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom Studios. Here's a classic segment with Bob and comedians Scott Dunn and Moody McCarthy. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Hey. Hi. Thanks very much for joining us with us in the studio. Gunner sitting in for Chick McGee. Hi there. Hey, Gunner. How's it going? Good, good. He's lying. His bears lost yesterday. It wasn't really a loss. As I said before. It was more of a burial, really. No, I think it was a rape. It was a rape is what you said. 37, three in Green Bay. Okay, sir. Sitting in for the chickster, that would be Gunner. And then as we move around the room, we have comedian Moody McCarthy. Hey, good morning. Moody is a resident of Astoria, Queens, in greater New York. And we also have Scott Dunn, who has joined us in the studio. And Scott has talked about his background. You have two great young sons. Yes, 20 months and then five years. Five years, yep. Okay. And beautiful wife. Yes, your wife is very attractive. We often joke around about a little bit because she's a lieutenant in the La Leche. I don't believe she has a rank. Oh, she's one of the breastfeeding Nazis. Oh my God. That's it exactly. No, no breastfeeding ladies, if you're interested. It's very important, very good thing to look into. Very healthy. And she happens to be an authority on it and helps other women breastfeeding. Not some of the be Heil Tiddler. You could stop breastfeeding when you could put a cigarette out on your areola. That's what the. If there isn't a porn flick called Heil Titler, there will be. And every time I try to say something nice about Scott's wife, somebody turns it around. Your wife is lovely. I've met her on several occasions. We occasionally joke around about her. But this is very important that we occasionally talk about health issues on this show. And you're a fairly young guy, so you haven't had to experience any of the. The sort of middle aged health exam issues that many men have to experience personally. The prostate. Huh? Is he gonna get a free prostate exam today? We like to surprise our guests. Come on in, guys. You saw the, you saw Dr. Stubby fingers in the. You haven't experienced that? No, I had a colonoscopy once. Oh, there you go. But see that, the colonoscopy now you, you, you, you're asleep and it's the day before. Are you asleep? I wasn't asleep. I, I watched it on tv. Did they give you a shot? So it was like you just had a six night tear. You're much like the Chicago Bears. Yeah, sure. Just yell on the Bears, they give you the stuff and you, it all flows out you the day before. That's the worst part. Oh yeah, the worst part's the stuff. I mean, the actual procedure's not too bad. Yeah. What's the stuff? I don't know what the stuff is. Well, I believe it's. Ross Bennett refers to it as the night of a thousand Waterfalls. It's a laxative. It's a super powerful laxative and it cleans you out so they can get a better view. The doctors. It's very important. We're not making fun of it. It's a very important exam to have to have. And there's certain things men need to get done and save their life. Then of course, there's the testicular exam. Gunner, I'm sure you do that pretty much every couple hours. I've been married for 15 years, so you bet no one else is gonna do it. That's right. I'm the only one. Yeah. We could blindfold Gunner, give him a piece of clay. He could make an Absolute perfect model. Yep. It's just like this. Here you go. My doctor told me that I'm outside the age range for testicular cancer. That's like. That's a younger. That's the saddest I ever felt. I was like, wow, there's cancers that aren't even interested in me anymore. First you were invisible to teenage chicks, now this. Now this. Cancer of the nards. Hello. Yeah, but, yeah, very important medical issues, guys. Talk to a qualified professional. Don't listen to us. Now, on a totally different note, we're completely changed the subject. I don't know where that came from.

[Chick McGee]

I don't.

[Tom Griswold]

Completely on left field.

[Chick McGee]

Why are we.

[Tom Griswold]

Why would I bring up one?

[Chick McGee]

The prostate exam.

[Tom Griswold]

The ass exam.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, we were talking about breasts.

[Tom Griswold]

It might have something to do with the bears getting reamed by Green Bay yesterday. I know, but we were talking about ladies and gentlemen in their breasts, and you went right to a guy's ass. No, I was talking about the importance of the healthy aspects of breastfeeding and how people need to look into that. Ladies need to look into that. Talk to a healthcare professional. While we're on this topic of good health, I want Scott Dunn to be a healthy dad and make sure he gets the proper exams. Which is why we are bringing in a surprise. No. Did you get a show at my house, by the way? I never even thought to ask with. Did you like a breastfeeding show? No, I didn't. I didn't. Was that at midnight or what are. I don't know. That's random. Two shows a night. When are showtimes?

[Chick McGee]

He just walks up and grabs whatever you hear.

[Tom Griswold]

It's showtime.

[Chick McGee]

He's old enough now to just get it himself. Isn't he?

[Tom Griswold]

The breast?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Does he walk up? Oh, yeah. He walks right over there and throws a huge fit. And she goes, all right. How long did your 5 year old do it? Is he still doing it? No, no, he's done. He went about two and a half. Maybe there's a point where it becomes a little embarrassing and uncomfortable. Right? Well, when they say, hey, why don't you whip out them tatas? Yeah, when they can say that, hey, listen, I forgot to go to the DMV to get my new plates. Before I go real quick, on the way out, when your kid's coming up to you with a dollar bill, let me have a drink for it. Go fill the car. I'm sorry. My oldest son, he incorporated salt shaker and limes. That's how he got creative on him oh, I'd like to see that. What is, what is the. What is the name of that drink? What is it? Snake bite? White Rush Body. Well, let's, let's move forward here. We were talking earlier about cooking turkeys in the holiday season. Nothing better than. Nothing better than turkeys. I'm doing an experimental turkey actually this week, and we're doing a turkey on the air tomorrow. Every time you say that, I picture this. I don't understand why this turkey that's now going to go through a grinder or I'm going to put it in the front seat with a seat belt on and hit a wall. I did the same thing last year. Three legged turkey. It's experimental.

[Chick McGee]

I get in the turkey mood yesterday.

[Tom Griswold]

No, last year you tried to bring the turkey back to life. Isn't that the experiment? Have you been to the grocery store in the last couple weeks?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I go every week. A couple times a week.

[Tom Griswold]

You can't help but. I mean, there's. There are turkeys everywhere.

[Chick McGee]

I bought my turkey last week.

[Tom Griswold]

I just, I got the. I don't know what they call it. What do they call it when you're Jones, when you're shopping, you see some impulse buy. Impulse buy? Yes, I bought an impulse turkey. They came right by the register. Frozen turkey right by the gum. That's it. You always have your kid put that back. Yeah, I got a fresh one, so I'm going to cook it maybe even this afternoon. My wife and I get our turkeys from the Amish. From the Amish. Cuz when you steal it, they can't catch you much cheaper. A huge savings. Yeah, you just peel right out. Come on. I dare you. You'll one horsepower. Yeah, we. Oh, by the way, on our website we have some of our turkey tributes posted. So you can. You can check that out now. I thought we would do. Do you want to do your Thanksgiving tribute? Does this involve Moody McCarthy as the announcer? I'll let him. I'll give him a character. Okay, let me introduce it then. Okay. Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, comedian Scott Dunn with an assist From a Moody McCarthy with his Thanksgiving tribute. So this is the very first Thanksgiving we knew what the food was, but now this is what the entertainment was. And now, Wampanoag Tribe proudly present the man who make Plymouth rock, the Mayflower Meanie, Captain Miles Standish. Good stuff. Thank you, Chief Massasoyot for that horrible introduction. I haven't seen English butchered this badly since the crusades. Maybe lay off the peace pipe for a while. People Are starting to think you're slow. But I love and respect Chief Massasoyet. So I say in your name, tongue, Tonka enge udahawa. Which of course means get the hell off my land. I kid. I kid the chief. Chief and I have a very close relationship. Which is great because at first he wasn't sure if he liked a white man. I said, hey, if you think you have reservations now, hey, let's hear from my drummer, Samoset. I'll be honest, I don't trust him. Whenever he plays, I can't tell if he's keeping the beat or sending a message to attack. No fast songs tonight. Last time I saw this many Indians dance, it rained for two weeks. Come on, folks, laugh. These are the jokes. You know it's a tough crowd when the scalping takes place after the show. Governor Bradford is here. We had to elect William Bradford governor. He can't do anything else. This man is the worst farmer in the New World. I told him to grab a hoe and he pinched Goody Carver's ass. I'm not saying he's stupid, but he thinks squash is how you butcher a chicken. And speaking of chickens, I tried to teach him to gather eggs. I said, these hens are for laying. You know what he said? I guess they'll do until we get a sheep. The man is a weirdo. When asked if his wife was a Quaker, William Bradford said, no. She mostly just lies there. But of course, this evening wouldn't be complete without our interpreter and guide, Scott Squanto. Although, no offense, I think he might be gay. Really? Squanto asked if I wanted to hunt bear, and then he ripped my clothes off. Squanto does prove one thing, though. Even at the very first Thanksgiving, there was a fruitcake that nobody wanted. And don't you laugh. Priscilla Alden, the gay Indian, is the only one here who hasn't tried to skin your beaver into a pelt. If the Indians had planted as many seeds into the cornfield as they did Priscilla, we'd still be harvesting. And by the way, dear, the proper response when an Indian says how is to say hello, not lift your dress and shout from the rear. But I can't blame these braves for liking Priscilla. Have you seen some of these Indian squaws? Not attractive. The chief traded one of his daughters for a horse and nobody noticed these women walk around topless just to scare away the crows. I mean, come on, is it just me? These Indian dames are so flat chested. How flat chested are they? I can't tell her whether they have breasts or if we started wiping them out with smallpox again. Nothing. Hey, what do I care if you don't like me? Most of you pilgrims won't survive the winter anyhow. Oh, great. Finally a joke the chief thinks is funny. He's laughing so hard he's got tears in his. His eyes. Oh, wait, he's just looking at all the litter. Well, what can I say? Chief Massasoit is a sensitive guy. Once he said to me, land does not belong to the people. People belong to the land. I hope that works out for you, Chief. But just in case, you might want to learn how to deal cards. Thank you. Good night. The very first Thanksgiving was a roast. You kidding? We're coming right back on this Black Friday. The pictures, the gang and wigs is on the way next hour. Plus more with Al Jackson. But next, Lewis Black in studio talking a little Thanksgiving here on the Bob and Tom Show. Bob and Tom, it's not December. It's barely even November. Outside it's still too warm for snow to fall. Halloween was yesterday and winter's still a ways away. But try to tell that to the folks down at the mall. Jesus in his manger cradle Plus a little token dreidel in a big display Next to the cinnabar with three wise men and gifts they bring Just plug them in and they all sing the way to early Christmas. I know you need to satisfy your investors but couldn't you wait at least till the savior's third trimester? Finally, just outside the master cuts was Santa and that fat bastard's ho ho ho ing drove me up the wall. Something snapped, I lost control and kicked him square in his north pole and as he dropped, I decked him in his heart. So, my friends, I wish you well from the mall security holding cell. I hope that they don't keep me here too long. May you and yours find peace and love unless you are the rider of the way to early Christmas. So.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Thanks for rocking with us here on the Bob and Tom show on a Friday morning. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Here's a segment with comedian Lewis Black talking a little Thanksgiving on a Black Friday. Tom, we have a legendary guest in the studio. Yeah. A distinguished actor and comedian. He is joining us in the studio. It is Mr. Lewis Black. Lewis, great see you, sir. Delighted. Huh? How's. How's life these days? Doing all right? Yeah, you know, just great. Great. Get to go to the. Come here, then go to the airport. It's going to be great yeah, yeah. It's a good thing you've got a great airport. If somebody tells me again how great your airport is, you know, sit there with me today. Come on down and sit. Let me know just how great an airport it, you know? So we have an interesting. It is a pretty good airport. It is. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I know. All I know is my flight back from Disney World next weekend has already been canceled, so I'm scrambling to get another one. Christy, we have actually flying news. Yeah, you want to do it in quiz form?

[Chick McGee]

What is. We're going to talk about the number one airport snack.

[Tom Griswold]

The number one airport snack. Cinnabon's got to be up there.

[Chick McGee]

Actually, we have the top 10 bananas.

[Tom Griswold]

Is this in term of sales or what?

[Chick McGee]

People, this is Dominique. All I have is from Delish, the number one airport snack.

[Tom Griswold]

And I find this list to be completely fraudulent, but go ahead.

[Chick McGee]

Number 10, the gummy bears from Haribo. I don't really like gummy bears, but that's just.

[Tom Griswold]

Unless they're loaded.

[Chick McGee]

I didn't say that. I don't like them loaded, either.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Doritos Cool Ranch. They're a number nine.

[Tom Griswold]

Who's eating Doritos Cool Ranch at an airport? I am. I have Doritos Cool Ranch. Yeah. Yeah, I do that.

[Chick McGee]

Number eight, Welch's Fruit Snacks.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, come on. Never in my life. This is the number one thing consumed at the airport. Is booze on there. I've seen those bars.

[Chick McGee]

Snacks. I don't think they include booze or restaurants or. These are just snacks that you would buy at, like, the bookstore.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, the bookstore.

[Chick McGee]

You know what I'm talking about.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, sure. Your Hudson News.

[Chick McGee]

All those Dunkin Donuts is on here. So that's number seven. So that doesn't kind of scare. Excuse the. I don't know how they. I don't know how they did this. Sour Patch Kids is number six.

[Tom Griswold]

Please. Twizzlers.

[Chick McGee]

Number five. Cheetos. Flamin Hot Crunchy. Number four. Who. Who's.

[Tom Griswold]

Who wants that on a plane? Nobody.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know. Cheetos, Puffs. Number three. This is Airport.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, do Cheetos. Are those the ones that give you the pink fingers? Orange fingers. Pink fingers, yeah. Sorry. You know what gives? You better see a doctor. You know what gives you pink finger? You've been around the block, you know. Oh, yeah, he's been eating herring, apparently.

[Chick McGee]

Number two, Jack links. Beef jerky.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, sure. Yeah. The Jack links, please.

[Chick McGee]

And according to Delish, the number one airport snack. Oreos.

[Tom Griswold]

No, it's not. You just don't. I haven't seen any of these.

[Chick McGee]

I never seen anybody eat any of these either.

[Tom Griswold]

I told you this, this, this is fraudulent. I don't buy this. I didn't see an Oreo. I'm wandering through Newark Airport, which is huge yesterday, and you know what was on my mind? Where am I gonna get an Oreo? You know how you get your airport milk? What are you supposed to dunk in it? Yeah. Well, delicious.

[Chick McGee]

They're crazy.

[Tom Griswold]

Not correct.

[Chick McGee]

There has to have been a category, like things you buy at the.

[Tom Griswold]

At the convenience store and things that you pay three times their normal retail price.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Chick, do you have an airport snack? I gravitate toward, like the Ho Hos and the Ding Dong when I can find them. Okay, so you'll. You'll have a. I have the same routine. And my beverage of choice, Diet Pepsi is tough, tough to find in most airports. At this airport, I get there early.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Get a cappuccino and get my shoes shined. Wow. I mean, where else do you see a shine? Yeah, It's all you. How about this? From here on out, let's say shoe shine person. Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Or a shoe shiner.

[Tom Griswold]

No, but they're really. There's a I. Or stop. That's what I say. Stop singing the praises and get your shoe shine. It is. I like to get there early. Does not. But if I get there early, by the way, this week they're saying two hours early for domestic flights. That's bs.

[Chick McGee]

They've always said that.

[Tom Griswold]

Two hours for domestic flights. I don't have a problem. I like to be there early. Again, I. I like to wear leather shoes, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, God.

[Tom Griswold]

And I get them polished at the airport. That's. Where else do you see a shoe shine person? I don't know, an old on Turner classic. I mean, Lewis, are you wearing leather shoes or wearing tennis shoes? Right. I'm wearing tennis shoes. He's wearing a nice pair of aces. You know what I'd like to do today in the snow is wear some nice leather shoes that I can slide mine right up to see you. God. Yeah. And you know, and I'll tell you, folks out there, it's a big expensive operation here. They have not cleared the sidewalks. Okay. Not even close. Oh, we got a legend coming in. Let's kill him. Well, it might be good for the social media. Here's the last place Lewis. Lewis Black breathed before he slipped. Boom. So sorry. Sorry, no. Where else can you get your shoe shine?

[Chick McGee]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you have an airport snack? Your cappuccino though is a must. Yeah, and I. Depending on how long the flight is. I don't like to use a toilet on an airplane, so I do not hydrate. I see. I do not want to be that guy, you know, where you're all of a sudden the lights on that you can't get up and you've really got.

[Chick McGee]

To go and what about you, Josh? Do you have. Have a snack?

[Tom Griswold]

No, not so occasionally I'll have a. A breakfast sandwich, something like that. I like a nut. I'll take a nut on the plane. Yeah, that's a reasonable snack, I assure you. It's for Jameson. Is a double shot of Jameson considered a snack, Louis? Yes, I think it's a snack. You know are zex. They are delicious.

[Chick McGee]

Oreos are also in the news for something else today.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I see. This is a great story.

[Chick McGee]

They've released cookies inspired by Thanksgiving. The new fudge covered cookies come in flavors. Are you ready?

[Tom Griswold]

Stop, stop. Oreos. Stop.

[Chick McGee]

They come in apple caramel.

[Tom Griswold]

Stop. See?

[Chick McGee]

Pumpkin pie.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no, no. Just have. Why don't you just have a big squash? You know, let's do squash.

[Chick McGee]

It gets worse. Turkey and stuffing Oreo. These are fudge covered.

[Tom Griswold]

So do they taste like the, the, the taste of turkey and chocolate?

[Chick McGee]

Turkey and stuffing and chocolate.

[Tom Griswold]

They're absolutely amazing.

[Chick McGee]

There's the sweet potato fudge covered Oreo.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, I know every time I've been in an Oreo I think this could use more Sage.

[Chick McGee]

Creamed corn flavored.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh boy.

[Chick McGee]

And cranberry sauce packaged inside an orange Oreo shaped tin. The 20 set includes two cookies of each flavor and it's available limited time only.

[Tom Griswold]

A solitary existence of my Thanksgiving dinner recreated through Oreo cookies. I, I think and I'm not sure I believe Oreos are vegan. Oh, so that's how natural they are. I wonder if that is affected by this. Or do they do a tofur turkey one? Pat, you were vegan there for a long time? A little bit. Aren't Oreos vegan? I don't know. I believe that creamy middle had something you would hope. I think it's a non dairy creamer. I'll do some homework and find out. Yeah, please get on that and write me. You mean send a letter to your executor? Yes, because do you want to be cremated? I seriously, I think they are vegan. Oreos have kind of lost their minds.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, they have.

[Tom Griswold]

No, it's great. They're good. Either Every year, Oreos and the M M's people have kind of gone crazy. What about your favorite Reese's Pieces? That's what. That's just. They don't change. That's just chocolate and peanut butter. But don't they make them in the shape of pumpkins?

[Chick McGee]

No, you're talking about Reese's Cups and.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, sorry, but they don't really muck with the ingredients.

[Chick McGee]

It's just the shape of it.

[Tom Griswold]

The different shape makes it taste different. Well, there is a different peanut butter to chocolate ratio. Again, we'll talk about this. Right, Lewis? With our findings. Are you a candy eater, Lewis? Yeah. Oh, really? But not a lot. I mean, I like. I'm. I'm big now on chocolate chip cookies. I'm in search of the. The best one and I know where it is. I can. Where? Next to the shoeshine stand. There you go. I actually, actually think they do. They're called Four Birds and I think they have them at the airport. I'll tell you the name. That's a good. That's a good. Do they have. Do they have at that coffee shop?

[Chick McGee]

I don't know. I don't.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Four Birds.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, here's a quiz I want to give. I want to give. Mr. Lewis Black, distinguished playwright, actor, comedian. Equis, you're gonna get this. Yeah. Because you're a man of a certain age. I brought in Chunkies, the candy bar Chunky. These guys didn't believe they still made them and they thought they sounded ghastly. I brought them in last week because I gave them out of my house. The big size Chunk. Chunky. Yeah. They loved them. Do you remember the voice of Chunky when you were a kid? Wow. That would be. I just. I drifted into what Chunkies tasted like. I drifted away while you were talking about them and the races and the nuts and the chocolate and raisin. They're still making them. Yeah, but do you remember who did the voiceover for the commercial? No. I'll give you another hint. How about if you hear the commercial? Okay. Chunk. Chunk. Big Chunk. Chunky. Big Chunk. Thick. Thick. Thick. Chunk. Chunky. Open wide board. Here it comes. Here he comes. The thickest nickel chocolate bar in the usa. Milk chocolate, raisins, Brazil nuts, cashews. Oh, that. That is Mason Adams. That's Mason. This is the one you're talking about right here. Here we go. Chunky. What a chunk of chocolate. Oh, God. He knows. That's the last voice I'm gonna hear. And then the stroke happen. That your hint is it's a mad, mad, mad Etc world. Arnold Stang. Yes sir. We interviewed Arnold saying once. What? Yeah, I mean this is. Wait a minute. I have a follow up to his what? How long we've been doing this? A long time. Holy hell. I was so excited when they said do you want to talk to Arnold Smith? Are you kidding? The guy that was in that one of the great comedy movies of all time and did the Chunky commercials. He was, he was kind of a pre Woody Allen voice. Woody very New York, New York voice. But that looked like a turtle. He was getting very turtle, very turtle. Yeah. Turtle, turtle, turtle. Yeah, but chunky. I'd like if they need a new spokesman. Perhaps Mr. Black would care to kill to be the spokesman for Chunky. Where did you find it?

[Chick McGee]

Tom was so excited. I can't believe nobody took this Chunky candy bars.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, he got him to hand out to trick or treater. Yeah. The kids wanted nothing to do with it. I, I what the hell is this? We're coming right back with more the best of the Bob and Tom show. And Al Jackson is coming up next. Talking Thanksgiving. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Bob and Tom. Hello and welcome to the Mr. Obvious Show. I'm your host, Mr. Obvious. And welcome to our special Christmas presentation of the Mr. Obvious program. This week let's take a trip around the house and focus on Christmas decorations. If your home's like the Mr. Obvious household, you'll be looking to buy that Christmas tree and install it in your living room. Perhaps you could be like Papaw Obvious and venture into the woods yourself with a nice sharp axe and cut down your own Christmas tree. And this is a time you're going to want to start your Mr. Obvious checklist. You'll need to measure your tree and then measure the area in your home where you'd like to install your Christmas tree. Measure your tree and trim the bottom. This is crucial, the bottom of the tree. Fit your area of your home accordingly and have a very merry Christmas. Well, I see we have a phone call here on the Mr. Obvious show. Hello, Mr. Obvious? Hello, is this Mr. Obvious?

[Chick McGee]

Speaking.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, Mr. Obvious. A long time listener, first time caller, actually decided to follow in Papaw Obvious's footsteps. We went out in the woods, picked out a great big pine tree, used that great axe idea. Yeah. And chopped it down that way and got a big beautiful tree. Mr. Oh, well, super. And Merry Christmas to you, Mr. Obvious. Yes, well, here's my problem. Uh oh, we got it home okay. And fit in the living room just great. Cause I used that tape measure suggestion you had. Great idea. Right. Well, here's my problem. I chopped off the six inches just like you said. Off the bottom. On the bottom? Yep. And I tried standing her up and it fits just fine, but, well, it won't stay up there. It just keeps falling over. Now I got a Christmas tree on my floor, Mr. Obvious. I mean, that ain't Christmas. Well, no, caller, that certainly isn't Christmas. I can see, I guess, how you might need a little help here. Yeah, sure do, Mr. O. Alrighty. Now, caller, have you tried standing your tree in some sort of container? Container? I didn't think of that. What's a container for? You know, to give the trees some sort of support. Right. Okay, so just like put it in the trash can and that'll hold it up, right? No, not a trash can collar. Something that's a bit smaller and that could hold water to keep your tree nice and fresh for the entire Christmas season. Something like. No, no, I don't think a shoe would work for you. You need something a little larger that would hold water. You could set your Christmas tree in. Now, stick with me here, caller. How about a Christmas tree stand? Ooh, stand never made a connection. That's a great idea, Mr. O. You know what? I think if we do it that way, we're gonna be able to get lights around it and get ornaments hung on it where the stay. And we probably should stick presents under the thing. This is going to be the best Christmas ever, Mr. Obvious. God bless you. Thank you very much and God bless us, everyone. Thank you, caller, very much and merry Christmas to everyone on the Mr. Obvious show. It's the best of the Bob and Tom show here for a Friday morning. And this is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Here's another, another segment with comedian Al Jackson. I'm Chick McGee. And here's Tom Griswold. And we have a super special Thursday guest. Oh my gosh. I feel like I'm about to be handed some literature about Elijah Muhammad. That's not a bow tie. Sorry, Al, you want to save Tom from himself real quick. And I do. Let's keep the radio show going for another day, so. Hey, guys. Al Jackson, Mike friend. That's a great, handsome, great suit. Are you, Are you just getting ready to go to work early? I, you know what? I obviously I have the show in the morning and then I just like get dressed and just go to work early, knock my work out. I'm dressed like my dad at 6am I'm down for it. Yeah, man. Awesome. The show is Daily Blast Live. Dbs. I was gonna ask. I've never done a dog friendly comedy show. Willie, is this your friend? First one. I've done one before, Al. And I had to get a really important clip to submit to a festival. And then I couldn't submit the clip because you can hear a dog during one of my jokes. Is the dog growling or was he barking? He was kind of. He was doing the thing. Then he was getting pet and his collar was jingling as he was making a little noise. And so I'm up there going, yeah, I'm kind of fat. I'm kind of. And then you hear the dog. Wow. Now, we had a couple lengthy discussions this week, Al, about the phrase right on. And whether or not I could get away with using it. Josh, apparently you used it on occasion. Yeah, I particularly. I texted a lot too. And after several arguments we were able to find the great. Some great music that had a lot of write ons in it, of course from Marvin Gaye. No. Yeah, just beautiful stuff. So it was an excuse for us to listen to some great, great Marvin Gaye. Like, what's going on? It's got a lot of writings in it. What an artist. I mean, it's just this weird thing, you know, I DJed definitely a lot more pre pandemic. But Marvin Gaye still got people on the dance floor. Like it came out the day before. Like it is weird thing. It crosses over every racial line. Age, gender is just a weird thing. Like Marvin Gaye and Lizzo. Everyone danced to Lizzo. Wow. As Tim Wilson used to say, Marvin Gaye is the only person who ever wrote and performed a protest song that was also a panty dropper. That's so perfect. Yeah, no, it's. It's true. It's true. And we were talking Thanksgiving and among other things. We've never gotten to this story actually. And I'd be interested. Well, I know holiday, by the way, Christy has the story here and I want. You'll want to. You'll see what the question's gonna be. Go ahead.

[Chick McGee]

A survey has found the most popular Thanksgiving side dishes in. In each state Career finding website ZIPIA analyzed Google trends from last Thanksgiving to determine which of the classic sides each state eats. A disappropriate. Disproportionate. I can't disproportionate amount of. Based on searches for those dishes. So the survey found the most popular side dish in America with nine states preferring them above all others is turkey and casserole.

[Tom Griswold]

What'd you say it was?

[Chick McGee]

No, no.

[Tom Griswold]

Green bean casserole. That's what I'm. That's. I don't. That's a random guess. Is that or mashed potatoes?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, mashed potatoes is the answer.

[Tom Griswold]

Mashed potatoes. Nothing wrong with that. Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Coming in second place. And this is another thing I have a problem with. This isn't really a side dish.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh.

[Chick McGee]

Rolls or bread.

[Tom Griswold]

I think technically that's a side dish. I do, too. What do you not.

[Chick McGee]

It's just.

[Tom Griswold]

It's the bread course.

[Chick McGee]

It's just there. It's not as.

[Tom Griswold]

Whoever came up with bread being just there all the time. There's. I'm sure there's a word for that that's out of my mind right now, but I'm omnivorous. Omnipresent. It is omnivorous. Omnipotent. Something. Bread is that. Bread is. Is. Is filler. And I mean, if you think about any. Any cuisine anywhere in the world, basically, meat is scarce. So, like, whatever you have around you, if you're in Ireland, use a potato. If you're in a different, you know, if you're in, you know, like, Asia, you're going to use rice. Mexico rice. Like, you're just using everything is just used to stretch the meat. So, like, that's really what the bread is there for. Like, it's kind of like to make sure you don't fill up and you don't double up on the meat. Yeah. But if it's really good, was it. Was the place that the great rolls check. Charleston's. Oh, Charlie's.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, Charlie's.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, Charlie's. The King Hawaiian. Those are good, too. Yeah. King's Hawaiian is great, but it's not a side dish. A side dish is Mac and cheese. Where's Mac and cheese on this embarrassing list?

[Chick McGee]

Just two states, Virginia and Vermont chose Mac and cheese.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, well, yes. Now, Al. What was a typical Al Jackson Thanksgiving dinner back in the day? It's just. It's my Aunt Valerie throwing it down. Mac and cheese that'll like, really make you just go sit in the car and reevaluate your life. It's just so good. Just sit in the car, in the garage with it off and just be like, I cannot believe I just have food this good. Just delicious. I mean, Mac and cheese, cornbread, collard greens that have been soaking and slow cooking for days. And back fat just. Yeah, back fat that's falling off the bone. Bone. It's like Kardashian back fat. Yeah. Oh, the Best kind of back fat that seems like it's scientifically made. Back fat. I'm talking about old school southern back fat. The kind of back fat you get from sitting on a porch swing for 30 years.

[Chick McGee]

Collard greens. Three states. That was the side.

[Tom Griswold]

Collard greens.

[Chick McGee]

But the one that surprises me the most. Maryland.

[Tom Griswold]

Collard greens.

[Chick McGee]

Yep. Georgia, Maryland and South Carolina all selected collard greens as the number one.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. Greater Washington, D.C. okay, that's getting into that. What I don't understand is baked potato. Who has a baked potato on Thanksgiving? Huh? It's mashed potatoes. What about a twice baked potato? Mashed potato.

[Chick McGee]

What about this charcuterie tray in Minnesota and Missouri? What the hell is that?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, they're doing something wrong in those states. But a charcuterie tray is to welcome your guests. That's not dinner. That's like we're standing in the kitchen drinking until dinner's ready.

[Chick McGee]

Can I say side?

[Tom Griswold]

All the lazy kids out there that can't cook. If it's like a potluck situation, you got to bring something. I'm a big fan of bringing the charcuterie. You go to one store, you're done. Willie always brings the charcuterie. That's fine. But I. My Thanksgivings were in Missouri and the charcuterie maybe pre meal, maybe. So I don't get that. Charcuterie traits are. Charcuterie is like Radiohead. I don't trust anyone who says they like all of it, but some of it's really good. Really nice. Nice example. You like, okay, computer in the bins. But really, Pablo, honey, like, is that okay? Well, Al, let's get to the point of this show is educating me in the world of language and what have we got today? And. And Tom, I just want to say before we get started, I feel like Thanksgiving because it doesn't have like a goofy coffee associated with like pumpkin spice latte, like, which we're starting to try and skip over and go right to Christmas. And we shouldn't, because Thanksgiving is the best holiday. First of all, you don't have to buy anything for anybody. Second of all, it's food for the people. If you think about food for Thanksgiving, nothing costs more than like $3. Except for the turkey. It's cheap food. It's regular people food. And it's all you have to do is show up and eat and like, sit there and get drunk and watch the lions lose.

[Chick McGee]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

So that's why I love it. Yeah, I've been complaining about, but I love Thanksgiving And I'm tired of hearing the news stories about how your turkey is going to cost an extra 72 cents this year. Okay. Look at the international news and start feeling good about living in America right now. Okay. Be thankful. That's right. And that should be your thanksgiving prayer as well. Glad I live here. Okay, what do you got? Alright, Tom, let's do this. Tom, what is sillage? Oh, I know this one. If you are a farm in the silo. There it is. They. I think it's pronounced silage. Silage. And it is the most awful smelling stuff on earth. All right. That would be silage. What is silage? That's a mispronunciation of silage. What? City folks? Yes, city. City folks. See? Village with an S. Sillage. Is it? So it's S I, L, L, A G E. But you're on the right. You're. You're on the right. Tom, I did. I honestly didn't think you'd be this locked in this quickly. You're right on the tail of the. The answer just goes where you're. But just think about how it relates to a human being. What you're saying. Sillage. It's not based on the word silly. No, you're on the right track with the silence. It's an odor issue. Yes. Oh, really? No kidding. Tom is just. I mean, I told you, Josh. Some days he's just like locked in. And then other days not so much. But today I'm so. Wow. I was at the bar, I was talking to this. But the sillage was so bad, I had to. Had to dump her. The sillage from her. What? My gentleman doesn't discuss such things. Must be her feet. Something you can buy. Before we get. Let's just say in the interest of it not being horrific. Halitosis.

[Chick McGee]

No. He said.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, was it perfume? Yes. Look at the big brain on chicken. Yes. That trailer. That trail. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I had lunch recently and there was someone sitting in the restaurant. We talked about this and it's.

[Tom Griswold]

You're real weird about smells. I am. For sure.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

I could go out there and have a big fart in the hallway and you guys are like, who? For the whole way. Calm down. I know that time I crap in the sink, people are like. So. I'm sorry. So. Excuse me. A sillage means like the perfume is so bad you had to walk away. Perfume or cologne. Like that. That wind, like. I had to have a talk with my son this weekend. He went on his first date. It was A. It was a day date. He went to the park and he's like that weird phase that every 13 year old boy where like, he doesn't. He's not locked into the concept of deodorant yet. He's like, he'll. If it's there, he'll use it. But it's like, no, this needs to be an everyday thing, bruh. And so then he's like, okay, well I'm just gonna put some cologne on. But then you're just kind of masking the funk like a Frenchman, you know, and you can't do that, so that could be a P. Funk song. You know, that happens here often. You'll go into one of the smaller rooms in this building and. Oh, it smells like a minty turd. Yeah, or a lot of guests will come in. Look, we. You can't. You can't cologne away that red eye flight. You ever meet the person that thinks they're getting rid of the weed smell, but then they smell like weed and cologne? Yes, like a skunk rolling into gardenias or whatever. So. Well, so what is the origin of sillage? Is it from silage?

[Chick McGee]

Might be.

[Tom Griswold]

I think it is from silage. I think you're right. I did. I mean, this is one of those situations where your. Your time. Wikipedia farmers almanac knowledge. I mocked you tomorrow. I apologize. No, I. It's just dumb luck, believe me. And if you've ever been near some really rank silage, you'd pray to spend an hour in the Wrigley Field men's room. Yes, you, Taco night. Bad silage smells. Okay, can I just say this time, and I don't know what's going on there in the building, so I don't want to start any beef. But like, I know this happens. I'm just going to say every. Like, who is using the bathroom immediately when you get to work, like number two, like that should be happening at home, right? If it's noon after lunch, fine. But like, what are you doing here at 8:50, bro, you should have taken this taking care of this at home. I don't feel like. I don't think that's a problem. Yeah, I don't feel like there are early dumpers here. Oh, there are. Oh, there are. That means that there's adults on staff. Yeah. If you're wondering why I'm in this bad mood today, because I ventured into the. One of the rooms down there. Yeah. I'm glad they're repainting because the wallpaper's not that one. I like to do it while I'm on the clock. I like to get paid while I go number two. I think it's fine. I'm doing it at home for free, like some loser. No way. Well, they're websites where somebody will pay you to do. That's why Will he be a millennial and hustle? Okay, Al, Al, we have time for one more. One more word here. What do we got? All right, Tom, this is. This is a tough one, but I feel like so far in my book, you've gotten these. All right, so, Tom, this is one of those days that you need to just go home and just hit for the cycle. Tom. So let's do this right now. Tom, what is a situationship? This. I'm gonna guess it's based on the word relationship. Yep. So a situationship is probably. Well, I'm only in this relationship because due to the situation, we have been thrust together. Yes. Way to use the word to define it. I would. I'd say it's more of. There's a power dynamic. Like, there's a little bit of, like, there's something else going on that's keeping you in it. So, like, give me an example. But I will take that as being correct. But give me. Give us all an example, Tom, of a situationship. I have one. May I?

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, I kind of wish my girl and I would break up, but it's summer and she has air conditioning and my house doesn't. That is perfect, right? Absolutely. That's perfect. 100%. Yeah. Somebody. Hey, she could just live really close to your work. You know, it's like, whatever is keeping you in that. It might not be love, but I think it might. A lot of people are in situations. I can remember years ago, one friend of mine stuck with his girlfriend because he liked her dog. Wow. I get that. I totally get that. Yeah. I think the breakups involving the dog is, like, it's never talked about, but that's usually the sticking point is, like, who gets the dog? Or, like, I don't want to leave the dog. Or we got the dog together. Now what do we do? The dog is a big deal. Well, Al Jackson can be found daily on a show called DBL Daily Blue last live. And Al often is the voice of reason. Who would have thought? I'm dressed like a lawyer that tells you not to say anything else to the cops. You've already said too much. Al and I grew up about, I don't know, 2,000 yards apart. Both of our fathers were Lawyers. So we kind of have a lot in common.

[Chick McGee]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

And Alan.

[Chick McGee]

And Alan, start dressing like Alex. I would love for you to come in in a suit every day. That would be awesome.

[Tom Griswold]

When he wears a suit, it's like a five year old in the first day of school. Within two hours. I'm the same way. Real time. He is wearing a real tie.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Very good, Al. It's always a great pleasure. We'll speak to you again next week, Al. I love you guys. Now, as you. You pointing out that Al was wearing a real tie is like when old white ladies would point like something they would point out about Cole and Powell. You know, he wears a real time. Coming up next on the Bob and Tom Show. So we, we tried on wigs. There's going to be photos of the guys in wigs in this next segment. Come on back here to the Bob and Tom Tom Show. Hope you're having a great Friday morning. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. And this is the best of the Bob and Tom show. Guys tried on wigs. There are photos. They're online. Let's find out about that. We just took some photographs. Yeah. If you get a chance. Are they posted?

[Chick McGee]

Yes. We have the group shot up now. And it's a caption contest, guys.

[Tom Griswold]

And where is that found?

[Chick McGee]

Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, so it's essentially name that band. Yeah, yeah. We look like an aging rock band on our fifth final tour. Let's be honest. Aged. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Now Chick has the dark brown. I would call it semi mullet. Bob Seeger. Look. I look a little like Delda Burke. I thought when she got. When she got chubby or something. I think so. So. Yeah, I know. I'm not seeing that. You see, you see Bob Seager, honestly. Yeah. Well. And then Pat Godwin. Pat, I'll tell you what going on over here because there's no part. There's no part with your headphones on. That looks real. I know, it looks pretty real. You, you could absolutely move somewhere and tell people that you're here. Absolutely. Now, Josh from the side looks like an aging symphony conductor. But from the front, the part is the, the part is pretty fake from the front. I think it's hard to do that in a wig, but it's very thick, grayish hair. I look like somebody who does music for like CSI or like some. Like, I'm in my keyboard with like a s. Are you familiar in the NFL with Rex Ryan? Yeah. He's the commentator. He does Sunday mornings on. On espn well, his brother. They're twins, Rob Ryan and Rex. Ryan and Rob. Not Rex. Look. Has his hair long like that. Yeah. And thick. Yeah. And we're trying to organize a picture because you really do look a lot like Rob Ryan. Oh, in that picture. Yeah. Well, I think it's time we got one for race.

[Chick McGee]

Do you want to. Do you want to do that?

[Tom Griswold]

Sure. Okay.

[Chick McGee]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

I ran it by him. He's a player. There's Rob Ryan. Yeah. Look at it.

[Chick McGee]

I mean, my gosh, it's so close.

[Tom Griswold]

And again, if you're not familiar with him, he has extremely thick gray hair. Yeah. Does this look like him? Yeah, exactly. Yes. How would you describe that? That style?

[Chick McGee]

That style?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that, yeah, that Rob has up there. Jess, would you say layered?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, it definitely. And his.

[Tom Griswold]

But it's like, it's like a halo of hair. It just touches his shoes. Shoulders, but it's thick and sticks out.

[Chick McGee]

Really, really very curly.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Pat.

[Chick McGee]

I'm not.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm Pat. You could send a photograph, like, from the front with the headphones on. It looks like it's your hair. It matches your beard perfectly. And I wish we would have sent you to your high school reunion like that.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Did anybody at your high school reunion, do you think. Were they Anybody sporting the bad, too?

[Chick McGee]

You need to wear that. Wear that Saturday on stage in Green Bay.

[Tom Griswold]

Really get away with it. Oh, yeah. Well, people, the, the savvier people would.

[Chick McGee]

They'll love it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. You'd be on stage for 30 seconds and someone would shout up, nice wig. Yeah, yeah. How about, do you do the first half of the show without the wig and then bring the wig out? That's a good idea. Or maybe vice versa. I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

So far, names for your band are the four scores.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's good. That's good.

[Chick McGee]

April Wine.

[Tom Griswold]

April. That's an actual band.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, is it really?

[Tom Griswold]

Just between you and me. Okay, now Ace is going to try. Now, Ace has a great head of hair, which we never see.

[Chick McGee]

This picture is.

[Tom Griswold]

Ace's hair is kind of graying on the side. He's putting on a very dark. Oh, it's kind of James Brown. Oh. Oh, that is. Oh, now it just. Yeah, yeah, that is.

[Chick McGee]

I think you need to pull it down in the back a little.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. That Tyler Perry. That is very like, we just, we just entered Big Mama's house. That is. I, I, I'm just waiting for him to chastise us for, like, acting up there. The thing is, there, there are several performers who Auntie Ace who sport wigs just like that. Yes. Wow.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, they do.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, gosh.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, gosh.

[Tom Griswold]

Mom's Maybelline, Anybody? Mom's. Maybe a young Della Reese. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my God. Give me a break. Now we have to leave mine. So we could do another band picture. Yeah, he could be the funky bass player. Look, Lamar. Lamar joined the band again. It's like a little feet reunion. You ain't got nothing. You've seen yourself and then you haven't. Yeah, yeah. We got to get. Oh, it's. It's fantastic. It's really lovely. Wouldn't it be funny if someone would never see this show? Yes. And they, they, they. What the hell are these people? Do these five idiots think they're pulling this off? And they're like, man, that lady is so nice not to say anything.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. You guys look so good today.

[Tom Griswold]

So, Coach Ryan, how do you feel that the NFL season is going so far? The. The boys are doing all right. That. Yeah, you nail. You're nailing it. We worked on it. We just said if we could score, we could win. We got. The defense has to hold them, but then if we score, we'll. We'll win the game. Now, if we make videos of us shopping and trying to pull these off out in public, we gotta wait a little while because we don't want people to think this is a Halloween thing. Oh, yeah. We want people to think. True. We want people to think this is a real life. You're right. You know, I'm committed. I'll do that. Yeah, we all have to do that. I'm telling you, Pat, that that is the best one of all of them. No, I think Josh may be the best. You're only saying that because the headphone kind of makes mats down the over fullness of it. Yeah, but. No, but you could. You could have that thing trimmed down because it doesn't have a part. Absolutely. Okay. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

You look just like Austin Powers with your glasses on. Now, are you.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you horny, baby? Allow myself to introduce.

[Chick McGee]

I think that might be the wig that he wore in Austin Powers. It's almost dead on.

[Tom Griswold]

Danger is his middle name.

[Chick McGee]

Now we just need to get you the teeth.

[Tom Griswold]

What's a good Austin Power Powers line for me to try saying oh, yeah, baby or yeah, yeah, baby. Yeah, baby. It's not bad. Beautiful. Absolutely nailed it. Let's head down to Carnaby street and swing. Yes. Swinging 60s London, baby. Yeah. Nice rack, Twiggy. What would look ridiculous on Os. He's already Got so much hair. Did you make that?

[Chick McGee]

He's got a. I have to put a wig. Do you have the wig caplets that. We'd have to scrunch his hair down.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, you know what look great on Os would be. No, no, we need to go. Go get a reggae full. Oh, Rastafarian. Rastafarian. Get him a Marcus Garvey thing. It'd be wonderful. Jess, I want to see you in this wig. I think you're. You'll look like. Do you remember the character in Gets Pat? Oh, my.

[Chick McGee]

That's not nice.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that's the way. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I. No, I know this is radio, so we're violating every proper broadcasting, but you can watch this on.

[Chick McGee]

You need your glasses.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. That. You nailed it. That's my little joke. The actress who did that on snl, that was quite a while ago. Julia. Julia Sweeney. Yeah. And she has a terrific one Woman, woman show that's out there. If you ever want get a chance, dig it up somewhere. It's really, really good and very serious and profoundly moving.

[Chick McGee]

To me, that just looks like a hat. Like, you know those little wool. Yes. Curly hats they wear in Russia. Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It reminds me of the worst era of women's hair in America when everyone. Oh, my God. Remember when Streisand did that in. What was that awful.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, the boxing. No, gentle. No, no, it was the boxing movie.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no. It was the. The. The remake. They just remade it again. Star is Born. She had the fro.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Awful. Oh, you look like you're. You. You either look like you could be at ComicCon, like just a nerd.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It makes you very gay looking. Very, very. Yeah, exactly. I mean, it's very Ms. Pat the Androgynous sort of. Yeah, she's very androgynous. Wow. Not Ms. Pat, it's Pat. Yeah, Ace is looking like Ms. Pat and I. Although Ms. Pat, she. What did she say? She now has 50 wigs.

[Chick McGee]

A lot of wigs.

[Tom Griswold]

And Ace has not had a chance to see himself. I believe we have. We showed him on the big.

[Chick McGee]

There he is.

[Tom Griswold]

Welcome to my house. Has that much hair in reality. But he'd have to dye it a little bit because your hair's getting kind of gray. Aren't you watching that sitcom? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Here's Ace. Yeah. I haven't seen a smile like that in a long time, Auntie Ace. And yes, you have to take. Take care of Tom Griswold. Auntie Ace. Hey, Ace looks like some concert promoter that. Well, we just made $50 million. Yeah. I'm taking a break. We're coming right back on this day after Thanksgiving. This Black Friday. Comedian Jamie Lisso in studio and Pat meets his girlfriend's parents at Thanksgiving. But next, some side dishes for you and an iPhone sling. It's next on Bob and Tom show show. Welcome back and happy Thanksgiving. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. And welcome back to the best of the Bob and Tom show. Do it all Thanksgiving this morning. A little razzle dazzle coming up next. And an early Thanksgiving. Let's find out. I like that early. I like that night, that Sunday morning game and I like it. I'd be very curious to know if those early Sunday games games are affecting church attendance. Absolutely.

[Chick McGee]

What city you live in. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

What time zone that's really early if you're in California. Oh, yeah. I bet they're having a bra. No, early pancakes.

[Chick McGee]

Bloody Mary.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Yeah. You know, like Christy does for the coronation or a wedding.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Oh, well. Remember her pajama? Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

The early game party.

[Tom Griswold]

The early game. If you would. If you slept in, you would have slept in. Watching. Watching it. Snooze fest One touchdown. Yikes. You don't.

[Chick McGee]

Maybe it was a defensive battle.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it was. And it was. I want to see true, true NFL fan if I want to see no story. Enjoyed the game.

[Chick McGee]

Right. No matter what.

[Tom Griswold]

Sure. He doesn't. Here's my invitation to Bill Belichick. What am I doing, Tom? Looking at plays. That's all he did. All they. Every time they took a shot of him, he's looking at papers on the sideline. Well, it was confusing. They were all in German. Yeah. That's the thing. Oh, no wonder. Yeah. Yeah. And once again, I, I know it's not the same. Somebody sent me an email and said it's not the same national anthem that they used before in Germany. But it's still a little creepy. The language, it's kind of a guttural. So interesting that it's so close to. So close to the beautiful, mellifluous language of France. But no, it's a lot different. Yes, sir. Well, you know what happened on Saturday at the halftime of the Michigan. Penn State game. Michigan beats their butt. Wasn't talking to you. And welcome back. And Matt Leinert said razzle dazzle. Christie. Oh, now you've infected the college game time. Santa Claus says it in the way. Wayfair commercial. Is that right? Because I like a house. Little razzle dazzle. Have you seen the John Travolta, Santa Claus. I like it. I like it. I love them. Yeah. He's walking around a Santa. All right.

[Chick McGee]

Did something happen over the weekend where everybody put their Christmas lights on?

[Tom Griswold]

He dances as Santa Claus.

[Chick McGee]

Have you noticed you have your Christmas lights on already?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, wow. I know it's against the rules. I thought you said you put them up and you weren't going to turn on. Yeah, getting to turn off. Seems to be a technical issue. Just plays there. Technically, everybody else in his house wants them on. That's the technical. Exactly. Let me talk to Josh for a second. How do you have that opinion of yourself? Because you know me, I'm the stuff that's not my fault. I'll. I'll take the blame. You know that. Me, too, but he just doesn't. It's not me. I. I don't know what's going on with the lights. There's a technical issue. We could all learn a little something. Ye. Yes. I think that's what I want to learn. I want to be part. I missed my calling. I should have gone. Gone into politics. And then early on, he's playing music just like anything in the background on his board. Well, that wasn't me. The button was on.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

I got to have Eddie come in here and fix it. The button was off. There it is. Button's off. I hear music. What? What song is that, Pat? I hear music. When no one From Sound of Music. Something, something. That's the first sign of a stroke. If you're hearing music right now. I smell orange. So was. Was Harbaugh on the field? No, he was at a hockey game Saturday night. The place went crazy in Michigan Harbor. He was watching. Well, I mean, obviously, he. He. He's not allowed. He wasn't surprised that he got suspended. He saw the. What's the rule on laughing at your own jokes? What? It's a new laugh, too. Yeah, it is. When some people do it. It's charming. Yeah. And pretty elaborate cheating scheme they had going. Yeah. So? Well, it was just like when the Astros got caught. Okay, what did I say? Or Nixon. You say everyone. Everybody did it. Everybody does it. They just happen to get cool. Why do you think College football, they don't have the talkback system in the helmets like they do in the NFL. Because gamesmanship, they stealing signals. It's as American as apple pie. Cheating on your test? Oh, I stole an apple pie over the weekend. Absolutely. Did you? Oh, yeah. From a small mom and pop bakery. Yeah. What? They had it on I like to steal from places that feel it really was it on there. That makes it more thrilling knowing you're really hurting someone. It was cooling on the sill. Yes. I love it. Oh, by the way, real quick preview, closed circuit just for the you folks. Here we go. I had a pie from the pie lady over the weekend. Oh, it was good. Oh, good. Your pie. Your pies are on the way for Thanksgiving. What's the update? The pies are good. Oh, delicious. I'm looking forward to it. Thank you. Cookies were great. This is the season for pies and cookies. Yes, they're absolutely delicious. So now the pies we're going to get this year taste good. Oh, they're good all right, sir. They're always good.

[Chick McGee]

They always taste good.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that was trying to get you excited about the. The holidays. Got some great cookies.

[Chick McGee]

I don't understand why everybody's skipping over Thanksgiving.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm not skipping over Thanksgiving. You're skipping over Thanksgiving.

[Chick McGee]

And you've said before Christmas lights.

[Tom Griswold]

Thanksgiving is one of your favorite holidays. We had a pre Thanksgiving Thanksgiving at my house over the week. Oh, yeah, the friends giving with all your friends. It's a friends giving.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. We weren't there. We were.

[Tom Griswold]

I believe Josh said at best it's her friends. Her friends giving.

[Chick McGee]

Her friends. Why don't you have a friendsgiving for your friends?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, maybe I'll set it up now that I've learned how to do it. Oh, did you enjoy yourself? It was great. I spent all day Friday and Saturday cleaning and all day Sunday cleaning. It was fun. My house. My house is edgewise. It was great. Yeah, it was fun.

[Chick McGee]

Good.

[Tom Griswold]

Haven't you said you're on record saying that your bathroom looks like a hotel bathroom? Like. Like no one's ever been in there. Would you leave it right. Nothing on the shelf, nothing on the counter. Everything's in drawers. Nothing. Nothing. Better than a nice warm home to come home. But there's. I do have. I do have a soap squirter with a scent free soap in it. Ah. Have you seen the dawn power sh.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I have those. Love it.

[Tom Griswold]

They squeeze. I've got to get these. Man. I got that makes that noise. Tom. Did you guys have traditional Thanksgiving food? Yes. Oh, good. That's not what the pies were doing there. Did you.

[Chick McGee]

You make a turkey?

[Tom Griswold]

A turkey? My son Sam made a delicious turkey and roast beef. Where are you on the tofurkey? Not there. You don't like the turkey made out of tofu? It's perfectly acceptable. It's just not my thing. I've actually never tried one, but. Well, here's what. You go get one of the sponges in the office and then put it in in turkey gravy and squeeze it out. Then cut it it up and eat it.

[Chick McGee]

No, no.

[Tom Griswold]

So if someone was coming to your house and was a vegetarian and wanted a tofurkey, what would you tell them? Go piss up a rope. Happy Thanksgiving. No, if I would, I'd be happy to make them one. I made one several years ago, remember? No, I did make one. Yeah, absolutely. Do you shape it like a turkey? No, it came in a thing and we. Yeah, I did, I did. I forgot about that. I did one years ago for some. Someone that wanted that. That's a bean curd. Then when they weren't looking, I took. I took real turkey juice, poured it all over the thing so it tastes good and then they seized and vomited. Yeah, yeah. Them vegetarians get real upset when you. No, no, I did. I forgot. I did do. I did do a non meat turkey several years. I am surprised you're not a turducken guy. No, I don't like duck. Sorry. Yeah, ducks. We were talking about this off the air. I. The one time I had duck, I told you, a friend of mine of mine shot it and I still had buckshot in it. Whatever you call it. I bit down on it and almost broke my tooth.

[Chick McGee]

I don't think that's a good. Not all duck has buckshot in it.

[Tom Griswold]

No, that isn't the reason. The reason was it tastes like it's incredibly greasy. Man, I had. I like that. Really good. Yeah, I wish I like goose because that'd be a good reason to slaughter all the geese.

[Chick McGee]

I could take you to a restaurant and you could have the duck bolognese and you would change your mind in a heartbeat. It's so good.

[Tom Griswold]

Good. Well, maybe so good. Have you had the duck? Bo. So good. Really. Enjoy for two, please. Of course. Polo. We have the duck.

[Chick McGee]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

Who wants to hear the NFL in German? Me. Here's Jonathan Taylor's touchdown yesterday. Oh, good. From Frankfurt alone. Taylor Lin r. Touch on sex. Yeah, I. I'm. I'm with you. I keep. I keep getting into Dr. Strange Love. I start hiding in the basement. I'm not saying we're not going to get our hair must. I'm saying a little. The halftime show lighting designed by Albert Spear. Little inside the Third Reich joke. Anybody? Hey. One more time. Sorry. One more time. Time. Ready? Touchdown. Sex drive. 30 Colts. Sex drive for The Colts. Well, nice. I heard sex drive. And touchdown in German is touchdown in English. And they only got to say touchdown once. What would have pleased you? 42, 41. Gardner Minshew. Five touchdowns. That'd be nice. He could run for one of them. I bet it's really weird when there's a blitz. Awkward. That's got to be scary. Very awkward. Same word. It wasn't our idea to have a game in Germany, was it? We just need to point it out. Yeah. Good crowd. It was a good crowd. They were singing. They were singing Take Me Home, Country Road. I heard that part. Yeah. Mountain mama. And they have the. They have the words up on the scoreboard. It went crazy. They went nuts for it. Not clear that either team is not from West Virginia, apparently. Almost. Geography would be nice, but John Denver, by the way, just. Just to confuse them. Yeah. The Patriots flew to Poland. John Denver's German. Just Chick. Chick pointed out John Denver's real name is like Deutschland. Right? Right. Deutschland. Hammer or something. I want to get back. Accidentally flying to Pole. Is that where it all started? Yeah, you don't want to use that. The GPS from 1939. Very confusing. And I'm going to do it this way. One of my best friends is Polish. But my point is, is that where it all started? About Poland? Because they really didn't put up a fight when they came in and just. All right, here. Here you go. Take our country. No, no, not at all. The polls were very brave. I think it was the. I think many of the jokes, I think came from certain television shows in the South 60s. Oh, that's how Cleveland started. Yeah. The whole Cleveland thing with Goulardi and white socks and bowling. Oh, yeah. That was a big thing. If you wore white socks. If you wear white. White socks to my junior high school. No. Good. My friend John Higgins would come up to. He was huge. He'd come up to you, grab your ankles and lift you off the ground. Do you fell on your head. You thought that was hilarious. White socks. Sounds like polo. Prick.

[Chick McGee]

Whoa.

[Tom Griswold]

Did he leave anyone quadriplegic doing that? Practically. Yeah. I'm. I'm totally, totally serious. He would walk up to you. Especially because I was, you know, a quarter his size. He'd walk up. If you had. If you wore white socks.

[Chick McGee]

So apparently this happened to you.

[Tom Griswold]

Of course. Anybody. You could not wear white socks. So it was up. I'm not kidding. You had to wear. You had to wear darker socks.

[Chick McGee]

According to him. You had to wear.

[Tom Griswold]

That was kind of a thing citywide okay. Citywide, he would go. He would go. He'd come up, you'd go polo, grab your ankles and pick you up. Yeah, it sounds like a real winner.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Sure. Now he's a very distinguished bailiff.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Supreme Court justice.

[Tom Griswold]

He can give you a hell of a deal on a car. We're coming right back with one of our faves. It's comedian Jimmy Pardo and he is next. Happy Thanksgiving. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Oh, I just got a Message from Old St. Nick way up in Christmasland and he says the toys for good girls and boys are being made as planned. There's a truck for little Billy and a dolly for Molly dear. But you ain't getting diddly squat. Cause you really screwed up this year. Oh the winter fields are white with snow and the lights are shining bright. And the wee little heads tucked up in beds. Dream of sugar plums this night you may dream of big red apples and candy canes so near. But, but you ain't getting diddly squat. Cause you're really screwed up this year. When your mother asked you to wash the dishes with why you said no no, no and you would not pick up your socks. So it's ques dog face hope. Well you know that Sant is watching you and he keeps a great big list. But when I tell him the things you do he really will be angry. So when you try, try to sit upon his knee he'll knock you on your ear. Cuz you ain't getting diddly squat. Cause you really screwed up this year. No you ain't get diddly squat. Cause you're really screwed up or you're really screwed up or you're really screwed up this year. It's the best of the Bob and Tom show here on a Friday. Welcome back. This is Christopher and the Bob and Tom studios. Well, here's a segment about Pat meeting his girlfriend's parents at Thanksgiving. You'll like it. Coming up, what you should do if you are being introduced to a new girlfriend or boyfriend during the holidays. Going to a family event, you get to meet everybody. You act Pat.

[Chick McGee]

Are you nervous?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And Pat Godwin is going to meet the parents of his new girlfriend coming up this weekend, Thursday. That's great, man. Yeah, you'll have a lot in common. Yeah, Medicare, we could talk plans. Yeah, you should not be playing this game.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, no joke.

[Tom Griswold]

I got a few facts I could bust out real quick.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I could bust out one, you.

[Tom Griswold]

Know, and he doesn't like me to. To talk about this, but he he always says, we'll talk. This is off the. And you guys are all discussing Tom at the moment, right? This is all Tom. And Jake, he'll. He'll. He'll tell me. Look, I know you hate my advice, and I. I will try to tell him. No, Tom, I don't hate your advice. I just find it uncomfortable that you're giving me advice about life when yours is a wreck. That's all. That's the only problem. And he's doing the same thing with Pat. Somehow he's above this older guy, younger girl thing. I don't understand. I just hope that your girlfriend's mom listens to the show enough when you walk in and she goes, look, there's John Denver. Look, it's John Denver. I hope. I hope her dad comes up and you go, you want to play that song about my daughter's boobs? There it is. Helping at all? Yeah. This is making you less nervous? Yeah, I'm. I'm very. I'm shy in these situations. Sure, sure. But you'll do great, Pat. Is there a chance. Is there going to be a piano around? Can you kind of. Can you show off a little bit? Play some Christmas carols? Of course he can. I only know my songs, really. I don't think they're appropriate. You know, I'll play Circle City for him. I could do that one. The Good beaver gone bad. Yeah, that's what he wants. You want to get in on the. On the really good foot? Yeah. Bring the mom flowers. Flowers.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.

[Tom Griswold]

Yep. Yeah. Don't. You know, you don't. Don't bring, like a. Think cheap thing of vodka and say you need this. That'd be really bad. No, no. There you go. Top heavy. Knock one back.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, my goodness.

[Tom Griswold]

Walk in and give her flowers and say, I'm gonna go to the bathroom later. Would you like to join me? Knock it out. See if that apple falls from that tree, huh? Come on. Maybe bring up. Maybe bring up. Maybe. I got it. Wait a second. Did you order a pie from the pie lady? Yeah, I got the apple. I'm bringing it. Oh, take that. Yeah, that's. That A home run. Oh, yeah, yeah. Re. Box it till you baked it. They're gonna know, Trust me. Sure, sure. You know, bring her the pie. That's a good idea. And flowers, for God's sake. Yeah, Put the pie down and go. Speaking of pie, your daughter's got quite a pie, doesn't it? Yeah. Boy, you know, this isn't the sweetest pie I've Ever had. This isn't the sweetest pie I've ever. This week. These are all good ideas. All good things. You know, when I was done, it was a la mode. You know what I'm saying?

[Chick McGee]

You guys are terrible.

[Tom Griswold]

Where's the ice cream? You know, maybe Willie knows a guy that knows a guy. If you needed, you know, any.

[Chick McGee]

Any what?

[Tom Griswold]

Any little reefer.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, that's what he.

[Tom Griswold]

Do not offer my drug dealing abilities to your friends. No, I'm just saying. I thought high school was over. I don't need this anymore, okay? Sorry. No, Willie can get you some candy. Candy that looks like just, you know, candy they would place out for the holidays. So mix some of that in with the real candy and watch the fun story. Yeah. Unless they want to do. I'm not a big fan of. Of an unintentional. People need to know when they're taking what they're taking. That's unfair. Drug people. Are you. Is it. Are you going there for a traditional Thanksgiving dinner? Yeah. Okay. Is, you know, if it's buffet style or just regular. Sit down. Okay. Is it just her mom and dad or. Mom and dad and her. Her kids or. Two kids, yeah. Oh, okay. You've met them. Any drunken uncles or. No, no, no, no.

[Chick McGee]

Very, very, very small.

[Tom Griswold]

This is going to end with a SWAT team at the door. You wait. That's my family. Is your son going? No, he's going up to his grandma's. Oh, okay. Very nice. No broken lamps. No jumping on the table.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, you got to give on the table it.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, have you decided what you're going to wear? Just something simple and casual, you know? No, no. You should probably. Purple pimp suit. You know, something like. Oh, yeah, I insist on a hat. Yes. A fedora. Baseball. Yes. I have like a JFK hat. How about a. Maybe like a priest collar?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, for gosh sakes.

[Tom Griswold]

That's funny. Just be comfortable with that. Classic. And surplus. That'd be just like. Wear an ascot and just be as flamboyant as you can. Just do your Paul Lind voice the whole time. Pass the turkey. I bet this had a big neck, huh, boy? I got you a hat. I got you one of those Boston Scully. I love that hat. As Paul Lynn say, do you have another daughter named Kim? They don't have another daughter that has a history of women named Kim. Yes. We will get back to the. To the sports desk with Chick here in the Bob and Tom program. Briefly, is anything interesting over there? Nope. Stupid record. That's a shame. The Colorado man has set the Guinness world record for the oldest person to grind a ski rail. Oh, yeah. How old is he? Mr. Dave shot. S C H A U T or shout. As in who gives a shot?

[Chick McGee]

Nice.

[Tom Griswold]

Was 64. Was 65 years. 231 days. 65. There are people that hardly ever reach this age. Good Lord. That's old. Basically dead. He accomplished the feat earlier this year in Beaver Creek. What do you get the Beaver Creek alerts on Google? Is that how this works? It's a Guinness record. You do them every day. Shot told Vail Daily. Can you imagine the Veil Daily? You know, I read in the Veil Daily that the Griswolds are here again. No how nice Silver, if you know what I mean. Especially Wilbur the patriarch is in the Santa hat. Light finger holiday droll. The Veil Daily that Guinness agreed to create a new category for him, making his successful attempt the inaugural. The first record with his new. And this is just something I don't really get. And you know, it's. I. I did skiing on a rail. It's sort of a stunt. I should keep. I should keep coughing because. Shot says he hopes to inspire other older people to get in shape and get out there and do extreme, extreme sports. You know, the thing about the rails, if you're a beginner, they have what are kind of just boxes.

[Chick McGee]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

And you can kind of just ski right up to them. You don't need to change your direction or anything. You can just go. You land on them. But the thing they don't tell you when you fall on that, instead of following on a little bit of snow to the left or right, you're just falling straight on a metal box. So even to practice this thing, you can almost break your back. This guy's a real badass man. Okay, Willie, don't you normally do the rails before you hit the slopes? Okay. You know. Hey, how's the powder today? Oh, the snow. It's actually hard to open those. It's hard to open those little baggies with your gloves on, Josh. So you have to do it before you leave the hotel. What did Newman say on Seinfeld? What kind of a snowblower did you hook us up with? Grinding the rails?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, let's turn back to Christy Lee at the.

[Chick McGee]

At the new shooters, relationship experts have some tips for you if you are introducing a new partner to your relatives during this holiday season.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Pat is the one in question. Today. Pat Godwin is going to be meeting his new lady friend's parents. His new lady Friend. Free. Trying to be delicate. His girlfriend.

[Chick McGee]

My boyfriend's mother calls me his lady friend.

[Tom Griswold]

See, that's nice.

[Chick McGee]

It's cute.

[Tom Griswold]

That is sweet. I mean, we. In American English, we don't really have a proper word for. No, you say girlfriend for someone who is. I beg your pardon. Clearly an adult woman. What about lover? Yes. I think I'll take a lover. How about that? Yeah. Lovers. A little too much. Yes. What about partner? No, that's. And that's. That's got. Well, that's confusing for a number of reasons. Sure. Yeah. Partner. I think at least originally it meant like a business partner. Then partner met a gay partner.

[Chick McGee]

Now it can mean now. Yeah, any kind of partner.

[Tom Griswold]

It's very confusing. Yeah, Cowboys say it, too. Hey, partner. Yeah, sure. Howdy. Very good. Hey, partner.

[Chick McGee]

Bri Jenkins, a marriage and family therapist from Los Angeles, told USA Today. Number one, prepare your partner. Warn your partner of any family members who are awkward so they can emotionally prepare and not be blindsided, quote by any uncomfortable dynamics.

[Tom Griswold]

When Uncle Clarence says, can I take your bra off? Yeah, if you know it's coming. Hey, listen, Aunt Lillian is a ball grabber. I just love balls. I can't help it. Yeah, Lillian and Clarence, what a couple. He goes for the nips, she goes for the balls. I have an idea. Stop inviting Lillian and Clarence. This is not a good idea. I won't be able to grab any balls if I'm not invited.

[Chick McGee]

Number two, arrive early. Jenkins said arriving a few days early will give immediate family members a chance to meet your partner. That way. Well, if you're coming from out of town.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I'm with Willie. This is terrible. It's Tuesday and dinner's not till Thursday. What are you doing here?

[Chick McGee]

Well, if you're coming from out of town. Town, you meet on a Tuesday night. Maybe go to a light dinner with just the parents. And that way you don't have to meet everybody all at once.

[Tom Griswold]

If you're worried things are going to be awkward, just make as as little time possible for things to be awkward. Get there five minutes before dinner.

[Chick McGee]

No, no, no. If you're meeting your partner's family, they suggest showing up with a gift in hand. Pat, as Josh said, flowers is a good idea. And always offer to have help out.

[Tom Griswold]

That's important. I hate this conversation. Oh, I. I've got a guy. Pat, I got a great idea. Great idea. Go buy like 30 condoms and get the extra long ones. You mean the magnums? Yeah, the Magnums. Okay. And then go buy a rubber tree. And then Staple the condoms to the tree. Kill a rubber tree for yourself with a rubber tree. Dad, be honest. Have you bought a condom since the late 80s? Be completely honest. Because they don't come in extra long. I know that for sure.

[Chick McGee]

Why do you hate this conversation so much?

[Tom Griswold]

Makes you uncomfortable? Like I said, I'm gonna. Whoever I marry, her family's gonna have to be dead. You know I'm with you.

[Chick McGee]

You don't want to meet anybody else's family.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Yet you. You put. You've put them through that with. With your family.

[Chick McGee]

Correct?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Yeah, I know. I know. Hey, look, I'm not saying I'm not a filthy hypocrite, okay? I said nothing about filthy. Josh and I are in the same club now.

[Chick McGee]

Number three. If you're bringing home a day for Thanksgiving, have a plan if things go south. Jenkins suggests developing a secret sign to let each other know if you need to be saved from an awkward situation. I hate it here.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's get the hell out out of here, please. You know what? I say this, but I've never. Every one of my girlfriends in my life, I've gotten along with their family.

[Chick McGee]

Well, I can't imagine you not getting along with any.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm very likable. You are? Very. As far as you know, they heard the show. What's that? Has the family heard the show? Some. And some haven't. Yeah. Do you think you're just making up the problems in your head because it's easier to see the problems than it is so, you know, really settle down? No, I think it's just. It's just one of those things where I just. I would rather. Rather retreat than deal with anything, so. But I'll discuss this with my therapist. You're supposed to develop. Why do you feel that way? You're supposed to develop a secret sign.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. What would your secret sign be?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know. You gotta. I would have to be visual. I assume. It can't just be, as Chick pointed out, shouting out, get me the hell out of here. Point to the door. You can always fake that, like you're putting a noose around your neck and then talking to the gun in your mouth.

[Chick McGee]

Wouldn't people understand?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. Spinning the chamber of the gun. That's always fun. I think the classic probably is take your hand, pretend you're holding a broom, and then put it up by your mouth and wave your hand horizontally while shoving your tongue in your cheek. That's. That's the. That's the sign for. I want to get out of here? Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

What is wrong with you?

[Tom Griswold]

Did you. I know I've said this a lot, but I. I kind. I'm kind of serious. Did you hit your ass? Is he okay? No, I'm kidding. What would be a good sign? Like a. Like some kind of a nose. Something subtle. Put your cell phone on the dinner table. Something.

[Chick McGee]

We got that. Well, that's coming up.

[Tom Griswold]

Fart as loud as you can. Let's go, toots.

[Chick McGee]

If there's a lot.

[Tom Griswold]

You have a lighter? I've got a fart. I really want a light. You. You guys are going to like this. Kids get around.

[Chick McGee]

You'd have to come up with a secret sign. I. I don't know. Maybe it's scratching your head or tugging at your earlobe like Carol Burnett used to do.

[Tom Griswold]

How about chicken wing?

[Chick McGee]

Chicken wing?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Like a chicken wing.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. If there's a lull in the conversation, they suggest finding commonalities with more general questions that can help with small talk.

[Tom Griswold]

Anybody else here have a penis? How about an orgy? What do you think? Anybody celebrating anything? Start doing your act.

[Chick McGee]

That's not what they are suggesting.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, maybe.

[Chick McGee]

What sports team are you rooting for? Or where's the best place?

[Tom Griswold]

So you sound like an alien trying to be a human being. What sports organization are you a fan of? You want to keep it non political. That's important. So it's like my favorite holidays. Either the 4th of July or January 6th. See? And once again you break your own rules. We had I don't know how many meetings about. That's a funny thing to say. He would have talked to me in the hallway. It doesn't matter. That's. That's funnier than it is controversial. It doesn't matter what side you're on. That's stupid. Yes, exactly. You would never say that. This is the whole point.

[Chick McGee]

And Willie being on your phone really turns the family off. So don't use your phone.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I'm just saying as a little signal. It's just a little subtle thing. Put your phone on the table above your plate or below your.

[Chick McGee]

There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

Little things you can do. Maybe put the light on and maybe ask for a side that you don't typically ask for. That can be a signal. We want to get out of here. Things like that. Well, that's just. But then you're stuck with a side you don't want. Hey. Hey, Mr. Green Bean Casserole. You sure haven't taken a bite. Well, I meant for it to be a sign for us to get the hell out of here. You don't have to load all the way up on the green bean. I notice you've spelled out the word help. You know, with gravy on your mashed potatoes. That's pretty funny. I think the only thing we can do is. Obviously, it's too late for this year. Yeah. But next year, I think we all should go to someone's house for Thanksgiving and see how. See how it goes.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that'd be a great idea.

[Tom Griswold]

Isn't that a great idea? Christy, the last point you made.

[Chick McGee]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

So you want to pick a safe topic, like who's your favorite football team? Do you think that would be a controversial. What is your favorite sports franchise? When do you think life begins? Things like that. I notice you have a garage. What type of car do you have?

[Chick McGee]

Avoid controversies.

[Tom Griswold]

Does anyone else hate Tom Brady? What do you think? Let's say that's probably a safe. What a lovely domicile. This food is delicious. I will enjoy it. Okay, well, awesome. That's some pretty good advice. You get all that down pat. I'm writing it down. So stay off your phone. Right? I will.

[Chick McGee]

I will take flowers.

[Tom Griswold]

Flowers. Bring the pie. Hopefully they haven't heard the show. You're going to bring a pie and you're going to bring some. Some flowers. Sure. A plant would be nice instead of flower as something that lives longer. Don't forget. No, no, no, no. A plant's stupid. Then they have to make room for.

[Chick McGee]

The plant, and then you got to take care of it. What if they travel?

[Tom Griswold]

You ever try to throw a plant away?

[Chick McGee]

It's really, you know, plant's a living thing. You're supposed to sing to them and talk to them and.

[Tom Griswold]

It's nice to meet you. How about the. Check out a rose bush I brought you. Should I go ahead and dig a hole now or. I hope none of our other guests brought you a ficus. As I come here in the future, I'll see how the big. The rose bush is gone. Right? Won't that be nice? That way every time they. They walk by this nice, you know, aelia. Whatever it is. Jesus, look at him. This cactus. What did he just get out of the car? A pine tree, for God's sake. Whatever you bring. If you bring a plant, whatever you bring, it'll. That'll be your name right Here. Rose bush. Coming. You know. Yeah. Here comes old fus. Thanks a lot. That thing died in a week. Remember that. You guys also call it fig tree. Sorry, we have a. Wrap it up. We'll be back. We can argue when we come back. Okay. We call Arbor Day back Door Day. It wouldn't stop. You just wouldn't stop. Statement.

[Chick McGee]

How does Arbor Day and Backdoor Day go together?

[Tom Griswold]

I'll show you. It's a really big tree and a smaller plant is what Pat was bringing. So now as you're bending over to water, we're coming right back with comedian Jamie Lisso. He is next in studio here on the Best of the Bob and Tom Show. This is the Best of the Bob and Tom show on a Friday morning. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom Studios. Funny guy here. Let's do a segment with comedian Jamie Lisso. Great comedian in the studio with us. Jamie Lisso is here with us. And Jamie's a former radio guy. Yeah. Which is, which is fun. We just realized we met each other years ago at a, at a radio convention.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a nerd festival. I believe we split a. Didn't we? I thought. Yeah. Which, 70, 30 though. Which is. I was real sleepy. It's my problem now. We're reviewing a couple Things with Chick McGee in the world of sport. Hawaiian father and son duo made a big catch over the past weekend off the island of Oahu. Michael, they call him the Marlin Man. Kiyama and Kakela Lee from Nanakuli reeled in a 650 pound marlin after a one and a half hour fight off the coast of Wainanee or looking at on the southwest edge of Oahu. The family's love for fishing has been passed down through generations. The fishers told fishermen told reporters. Kayama began fishing with his dad at the age of 12 and continued to fish for 61 years. And this of course, as you'll see, is the largest catch to date.

[Chick McGee]

Yo.

[Tom Griswold]

With his previous record of 580 pounds which caught with his dad more than 40 years ago. It's almost. If you take that guy times three, that's how long the fish. 650 pound marlin. Look at that thing. Took him 61 years to reel that in. Yeah, man.

[Chick McGee]

Do we eat marlins? Do we eat marlin fish?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't.

[Chick McGee]

I think seen it on the menu anywhere.

[Tom Griswold]

Oddly enough, the, the snout there is, is delicious.

[Chick McGee]

Is it?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. That's really delicacy. And it's also.

[Chick McGee]

It's like a crab leg.

[Tom Griswold]

You crack it open, it helps sexual prowess. Whenever, whenever I hear these Hawaiian names, I always think of the. Do you remember the news story about the woman whose name was so long they wouldn't put it on a dry driver's license. And so she sued. Yeah. And this is the Hawaiian newscaster. I mean, you've got to hand it to her. This, Listen, this is amazing. For the past 20 years, Janice has had to carry two IDs. Oh, she nails it.

[Chick McGee]

Well, she's probably native Hawaiian, and that's not pieced together.

[Tom Griswold]

You don't think I'm being serious? That's, that's not. No, I, it. I think I saw the video. I've seen the video. That's amazing. Here we go. Past 20 years, Janice has had to carry two IDs. Wow. Wow. Do you think you even correct someone if they say 10% of it wrong? You just go, wait. Yeah. We were just in right where this happened. Me and my wife went on our hunter honeymoon in Oahu. I learned something that I did not know. Aloha. I think everyone knows it means hello and goodbye, but the Hawaiians told me that it means hello, goodbye, and I love you. Which I was kind of cool, but I was like, I feel like that's a lot for like, for one word to do. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like, maybe they should have picked three different words. Because I was thinking, like, that would have never worked with my ex wife. You know, I would have been like, aloha. And she's like, I love you too. And I'm like, oh, no, the goodbye one. Yes. Now let me ask you something. Are you a fitness buff? Because you look really fit and your wife is equally fit. I appreciate that. I, I years ago, I worked out like crazy. When I was in college, I did, like, bodybuilding competitions. And then the last 20i peloton every day, but that's kind of all I do. Okay. You know, when you meet, you know, I'm a fluctuator. Like, I have moments in my life when I'm in good shape and then other moments when I'm in bad shape. I've always been like that. But when I met Erica, I was in, like, pretty good shape. And so I've just been pretending this whole time that I'm always in good shape. It's like this motivator she's never seen.

[Chick McGee]

You don't have to worry about it anymore.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Oh, I don't know. Let it go to seed. Be real easy for her to move on. What do you, what do you mean by that?

[Chick McGee]

What do you mean, Tom?

[Tom Griswold]

Nothing. Okay. The World Conquer Championships, I said conker. C O, N, K E R. Okay. They are seeds of horse chestnut trees. And are you? This is the Bob and Tom Show. Bob and Tom. What's up, guys? David Pollock here, former Georgia Bulldog, former analyst with College Game Day, and host of my new show, C Ball. Get ball. I'm a defensive lineman. That's why that's the name. You see the ball, you go get it. We're going to dive deep into college football. We're going to break down film. We'll have bold takes, real conversations with the biggest names in the sport every single week. If you eat, sleep and breathe college football like I do, man, I promise you, cball git ball is for you. So do me a favor, follow and listen on your favorite platform.