Tom Griswold (0:04)

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are the things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations. It's the Bob and Tom Show. Well, Dino, tis the season. How about a little Christmas tale? Sure, pally. What's her name? No. A Christmas story. Okay. Everyone loves Christmas. When hearts are filled with cheer. But sometimes Christmas ain't so great. Yeah. Tell them about last year. Well, it went a little something like this. I was snowed in at the airport late last Christmas Eve. They finally cleared the Runway and said the plane could leave. I couldn't call my wife to tell her I was coming home. When I opened up the door, she wasn't home alone. Was Santa coming down the chimney, Dean? Well, not exactly. She and Bob the mailman were naked on the floor and it was very plain to see what they were naked for. She asked me to forgive her, but this was my reply. Let's stand under the mistletoe and you can kiss my ass goodbye. Bye. You can kiss my ass goodbye. Smooch it, baby, don't be shy. Night light for Christmas tree. Oh, yeah. Then pucker up for me. You can skip the pumpkin pie. Give my dairy air a try. Let's stand under the mistletoe when you can kiss my ass goodbye. Well, that was last year. But since I left my wife, things have really changed. That's right, Nino. Let's tell him about it. Okay, pallie. Now every day is Christmas. I'm jolly as can be. Your girlfriend's got big knockers and you won the lottery. So if your wife is cheating, don't bother asking why. Just say let's stand under the mistletoe and you can kiss my ass goodbye. You little ho ho ho. You can kiss my ass goodby. Lick your lips, baby, don't you cry. Oh, kiss me one more time where the sun don't shine. Baby, hold your head up high. Then how. Here's mud in your eye. Oh, just pucker up and let one go. I'll drop my drawers and bang. Pin down low. Let's stand under the mistletoe and you can kiss my ass goodbye. And be sure to make it a French kiss. Now that's what I call tongue in cheek. Callie. Dingle bells, dingle bells. Wah. Ivan, just take it. Good morning. Hello. From coast to coast, it's the Bob and Tom show. Bob And Tom. Bob and Tom. Bob and Tom. Many portions of the upcoming program have been pre recorded, meaning they've already happened and they're about to happen again. So where was I? Oh. Oh, yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, we're glad to have you here. It's the Bob and Tom Show. At the news desk, it's Jess O'Gray. Hi. Jess Hurst. Pat Godwin. Hello. Sorry to bother you. I never know if it's the one where you just say every name and then we don't say anything. Okay. I need to know when it's call and respond. Okay. Jess, I thought you. This is Josh here. I thought you also where. It seems to me that you're having a bit of the third days in a row. It does. Yeah. Wednesday hits. It hits different. You come in. Monday, you're excited. Tuesday, you're still a little excited. Wednesday, you're like, this sucks. How do you guys do this every damn day? Getting up a little early. Yeah. There's Ace Cosby. Hello. I'm Chick. Here's Tom. We got a special guest. Tom. Say hi. You can see his massive leg. Oh, really? Yeah. I got. I took a nice picture of. That's a great tattoo. It's. It's. It's Sam Miller. I'm sorry. Sam Miller is our. A man of a certain size, would you say 372. 2 yards high? You know, 2 yards high. My third time on the show, and I love it because, like, I stay the same size. It's amazing. I'm into it, man. I love it. But, I mean, you have a tattoo on your leg, and it goes from sort of your knee down to your ankle. It's a big one. Yeah. And it's the marquee from the Capitol, Historic Capitol Theater in Olympia, Washington. It's beautiful. And the reason you have it is because I woke up in front of there June 10, 2008, my last night on the streets, and I recorded my album there, which was April 24, like, two years ago. That's a cool cyclical thing. I really love stuff like that. Yeah. And, like, it's part of my being in recovery is, like, I kind of pay attention to things like that. Like, I don't know what's going on. I'm not one of those folks. I'm not here to talk about that. But sometimes things work out in a certain way, and I go, hmm, maybe I'm connected to ways and things I don't understand. It's not interesting. So on the one leg, you have the triumphant return to the Capitol Theater. Have you considered the other leg a tarp? You lying there with some toothless babe. I think that would defeat the purpose of the. No, it's kind of a ying yang. I talk. I talk about it because I like to think that maybe I was her bottom two. Oh. Maybe she's like, oh, I woke up with this homeless guy. I don't know why she's talking. I'm not gonna impress you. She's like, I woke up with a homeless guy under a tarp in front of the Capitol Theater, and she does comedy about me. Yeah, there you go. It's like yin and yang, but under. Under a tarp. I call him the Crusher. I learned a valuable lesson. Get on top, for God's sake. The man's huge. Can I ask you a question? What ring S. Is that? It is huge. It is huge. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just got it. See how big your hand? You can wear it. Yeah, you. You got. Oh. Now you have to make love to my wife. Put the ring on. Sorry. Works for me. She sounds beautiful. She's wonderful. Two. Two of Jess's fingers and one of them. Yeah. Yeah. I actually had to get. Because my finger got too big, and I had to get a new wedding ring, and I was on the road without a wedding ring. Oh, yeah, you were. No. Causing some problems. Well, Josh, if you go out on the road with your wife, how you gonna get delayed? That's exactly right. Yeah. I had to have some hard conversations with some folks. It makes me feel for the women people in my life getting a little harassed after shows. You know, I have women come up to my merch table. Yeah. And they'll. They'll have their chest out, and they'll be like, do you got anything that'll fit these? Yeah, I got all sizes, size inclusive. You know, it's funny. As much as I'm like, this crazy dude who used to do meth, like, I was raised Catholic and, like, I'm kind of, like, by the book. Yeah. All right. Yeah. I'm not. I don't get too wild. Yeah. In the bedroom. Well, you're in love with your wife. I am. Yeah, I am. Chick always said when he was on the road that. That no one is angrier than a woman who's been rejected, especially in those. You're not flirting back. You're gonna get your ass kicked. Somehow, I can tell you that. I can't figure out if people are flirting with me. I just think everybody's an idiot like me, and we're all just trying to figure it out. Yeah, we're just talking. We're just hanging out. Yeah. You don't know. They're laying it down. I don't know. I don't understand. Don't be to hold your shirt or wipe off the table with it. Yeah. And it's also strange, too, because, like, I was homeless for so long, and it's not like people were, like, chasing me. Like, I didn't. A lot of women knew, and they were not interested. Yeah. Like, they. They weren't chasing you. They were shooing you. Yeah. Yeah. Get out of here. What do they call. What do they call, like. They call. They call group hockey puck bunnies. Oh, sure. Yeah. Every. Every sect has their groupies. Baseball. It's called chuckle. Yeah. Comedians have chuckles. Oh, yeah. What is it? Chuck holes. Chuckle. Like chuckle. Laughing. Chuckle. Chuckle. Cs. No, f. I like the way Tom did. Yeah. I didn't put that together. So. Are you asking if that's what I didn't know? No, I was actually. Pat answered my question before I asked it. What do they call it in the comedian world? Oh, I thought you're gonna ask in the homeless world. Oh, oh, okay. What do you. What do you call homeless groupies? I don't know if there's a. Like, hobo. Hang in there. What are you asking? I mean, are there. Are you suggesting that there are women who are attracted to homeless? I was not. I was talking about the comedian world. Josh said that maybe there is. There are women and there. Absolutely, yes. Like, bomb efforts. Yeah, there you go. Well, there. Women out there who are compassionate and. Sure. Well, I'm not sure that is true. That is really wonderful realm they're exploring. I think Ace is talking about, like, the rescuers, the women who always think they're gonna try to change them or, you know. Yeah, that always works. There was always women that tried to fix me, and they always wound up very, very upset because I would play along too. I'd be like, yeah, I think I am doing no more meth for me. I think I've had a. You're different than the other four women that have done the same pattern. So that was your drug of choice. Yeah. Yeah. And I met. You know, I met my wife when I was four months sober, and I was still homeless when I met her. And I was like. But at that point, I was, like, couch surfing, you know? So, like, technically I didn't have a house, but I was working it out. And. Yeah. And she. And I was honest with her, though. I didn't you know, a lot of times I wouldn't tell him, you know, because I'd be at the bar, it'd be last call and I'd be, you know, scanning the room, being like, any takers? Look how big I am. You know, because women like that. Sure, sure, man. It was sad because it wasn't a thing. It wasn't just about, like, sexual. It was like, man, I had like a roof fetish, you know, I'd be like, let's go, man. Well, good for you. God bless you, Sam. And we're certainly proud of you. And I hope you're proud of yourself for all the work you've done. I am. It's been. It's been 15 years. Oh, that's great. June 10th will be 16 years sober. Yeah. Would you bring a suitcase over to their house from the bar? No, I didn't really have. I had a backpack, but usually I'd stash my stuff at like, the campsite or in my car. I lived in a car for a while. I lived in a Chevy celebrity, which I always thought was kind of nice. Some irony there. Yeah, some irony there. We're talking with comedian Sam Miller once again. Sam's at Steve's Hot Dog, St. Louis, Missouri, tonight and then Thursday through Saturday at Fourchaise in Wichita, Kansas. Let's get back to the news desk. Have we missed anything? An animal sanctuary in Rhode island threw a birthday party for their 17 year old duck. Is that right? Yes. According to the Newport Buzz staff and volunteers at West Place Animal Sanctuary organized the birthday bash for Erna, a rescued cresting Peking duck. Peking duck. Delicious. Isn't Peking duck after you've cooked it? No. That's the type of duck. It is. It is, yeah. It's not the dish. Oh, I'm a tom. I thought. I always thought Peking duck was the dish. No. Okay. I mean, that's old for a duck. That is. I would have thought so, too. I don't know what the life expectancy is, but festivities included artwork, decorations, heartfelt songs, and a birthday cake adorned with Ernest's favorite treat, blueberries. Is that right? Sweet. That is like an old duck thing. It's like, argh. Blueberries. Duck stuffed with blueberries. The event was also streamed live on social media. Wendy Taylor, the sanctuary's founder and director, said Town Lunatic. The inception of west play place in 2007. Erna has been a constant source of inspiration and joy, though. Inspiration. She's a duck. There goes my hero. Though the ducks typically live 8 to 12 years, Erna has Beaten the odds. Oh, my gosh. Have you seen this picture of her? No. Does she look old? Oh, my God. She looks. That. Looks like an old lady that lives in my neighborhood. Looks like an old. If an old lady were a duck or vice versa. She has this, this sort of harpo marks hair thing going and clearly blind. She looks like. Yeah. Cataract or something. Missing parts of her beak. Cataract to hell. Look at that. She's. She is. Hey, good morning and welcome to the Best of the Bond Tom show here for a Friday morning. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom Studios. Coming up on the show today, the Electric Amish. Plus Jeff Osque, Ian Bag, Frank Caliendo, Dusty Slay and lots more. But coming up next, farting stops a plane. You'll hear that in just a few minutes here on the Bob and Tom Show. Bob and Tom. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with the Name youe Price Tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try it@progressive.com progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom Studios. In this segment, farting stops, a plane and some ice. Contact for you here. We are having some special guests watching us this morning. And we've got Duke Tomato and the Boys live. And we just heard from the Steven Singer Singers in honor of Mr. Singer being here. A fun morning. And I enjoyed the flute that Jay Young was playing that's been added to the Stephen Singer song. That guy's good. You get any woodwind or brass in front of him? He knows what to do. That's very nice. Very nice. We're going to get a song out of Duke in a matter of moments. Just try and keep his mouth off of it. Duke, let's take a short break. We'll get a song out of you in just a few minutes, okay? Okay, thank you very much. I'm going to do this next World record in the sportscast under protest. All right? You will. It will become, it will become obvious almost immediately what my problem is with this. There are many, many problems with this World record. Okay, here we go. Stupid world record. A Polish woman. Yes. Has broken the Guinness World Record for the longest duration full body contact with ice. Kato's Hang on. I'm going to get it. Yeah, I'm going to get it. Yeah. But I don't Feel anything? Yes. No, it's. It's Ketar Zinnia. There's. Yeah. Jacobowska. The J is pronounced like a Y. Stood submerged to her neck. Katarzynia Jakoboiska stood submerged to her neck and ice for 3 hours, 6 minutes and 45 seconds to achieve the rest record. Her husband's name is Dick. Is in you. Stephen, behave yourself. I'm just reporting to the story. What was her name? That's a little known fact in that news story. Well, thank you for adding to that. According to Guinness, this record has only been achieved by men and the past. Good for her. The male record is held by. Oh, for the love. Another Polish person. Kristoff Gki. No, there's. There's another syllable in Christoff. It's. Christ. There's a. There's an Associated Press pronouncer there. There's a. It's Christisoff Gajewski. Okay, all right. Ki. Ki. Gi. Y. G. You know, there's a J in it maybe. Yes, that's the July and Police. Police. That's the official language. Please. So this lady is essentially standing in ice water. Yeah, that's tough. Just her face sticking out and she's. By the way, she is extremely attractive. Well, that makes it not over. Not. Not overweight at all. Right. And then she was. I can't see because she's. Only from her neck. But she was tested for both performance enhancing. Enhancing drugs and having witches boobs. Oh, yeah, those can get real colds. And the tin bra. She was wearing a tin bra. Yeah. And. And her husband Dicks goes in you. Why? Oh, it's plural now. Oh, sorry, sorry. The dick goes in you. Very accommodating. What is that? Dvd? Dvda. Why are witches boobs so cold? I don't know. Aren't they swinging over a bubbling cauldron most of the time? I think that some of that steam would heat them up. Where that came from, you have to look into that. All right. And isn't there a brass monkey involved in that thing? Brass monkey? That funky monkey. Isn't. Isn't there temperature related to brass monkeys? Yeah, some yard art. That is a brass monkey and he has testicles. And if it reaches a certain. No, like they go off a certain air temperature, the testicles fall off the monkey. They do, yes. I hope so. That absolutely exists. I think I saw it like a Sky Mall catalog. I think I'm looking that up. That was on Shark Tank, wasn't it? Is there some kind of witches? You know, for those reasons, I think Lori went ahead. I have my golden ticket just for you. Yeah, that happens. So why don't they have a witch with a tin bra you can put out in your yard? Who knows? In any event, this lady has the world record, so congratulations. Look up decorative monkey testimony. I am. There's tons of monkeys. Wouldn't there be a danger that you would die standing in ice water for three hours? I would think. I'm sure she was regulated. They were regulating something while she was doing it. Regulators mound up. But how would they do that Would. Well, I thought they didn't allow records where you could potentially die. No, that's not the case at all. Guinness is taking names. Do you remember the one a couple years ago? They love cheating down. Do you remember they were having the world sauna competition and it's. Yeah. That they had to quit doing that one. That's because one of the guys. Well, the guy that won. He kind of won. Yeah, he died. He cooked his liver. He was still in there. Yeah. Remember this? Yes. The guy literally baked. Yeah. No, that's. You can't. You don't win if you die. Oh. You have to be breathing. Yeah. I think you have to be alive. You lose. Okay, well, this is just the opposite. Okay. Any update on the brass monkey decorative yard art? Somebody's gonna make this for me. I know that, so. See, you made that up. Okay, well, let's. Let's. Pretty good lie, though, wasn't it? Is that sports? Yes, that's sports. Okay. Thank you very much. This is what you fern for. Whatever you go, whatever you do, always be a good sport. Christie, a Reddit user going viral after claiming their flight was delayed due to a passenger's excessive flatulence. Yep. The alleged incident occurred on an American Airlines flight. Wasn't me this time, from Phoenix to Austin. Following the boarding process, they overheard a man loudly say, quote, you thought that was rude. Well, what about this smell? And farted. Yeah, he's letting them have it, apparently. I was reading about this. Can I finish the guy? This all started, I guess just. This is. This is one of my pet peeves. The people got on the plane with a bunch of food, and the food really stunk. The guy in the. Oh, like a. Like a teriyaki chicken. Subway with extra onions or. So people complained, and he said, if you think that's rude. Right. There was allegedly. There was a back and forth between the person dubbed Fart man and several other passengers before flight attendants stepped in and the plane began preparing for takeoff. The user wrote, the plane suddenly Stopped on the Runway. The pilot announced they would be returning to the gate. All right. A flight attendant informed a front man he would have to get off the plane to the relief of the other passengers. Hey, play one more. Godwin didn't hear it. Thank you, Jake. The incident landed quiet. About half an hour. I don't think so. Oh, you've got to do those back to back as quick as you can. I think it'll cut it off because they're both kind of short, so it'll go. Okay. Next. I'm so happy. I wonder if the. If the masks would come down. Is that. No, I don't think. Unfortunately. Are those triggered by. I think just the lack of oxygen. Yeah. Okay. Smell. Got a couple technical questions. As it happens, we do happen to have Stephen Singer in the studio with us From I hate stevensinger.com because Mr. Singer is not just a professional jeweler, he is a newsmaker. Made the news last week when you made a, I guess a proposal, if you will, to Taylor Swift and her boyfriend, Mr. Kelsey, that you suggested the possibility of a ring that you have designed and actually possessed that is worth $1 million. Correct. Got a letter. Okay. Now, first of all, I'm not all that conversant with the language of jewelry. Yeah, we've noticed. Although in my day, I. In my day, you've purchased some. We purchased some. The point being, you mentioned the side diamonds on the diamond engagement ring is. Yes. This particular one we designed has a. One main stone and two side stones that match it. Right. Okay. Okay. For me, a side stone would be like Mick Taylor. Right. On the Rolling Stones. That is silly. But got this letter, Stephen. It says Mr. Singer may want to upgrade those side diamonds because apparently the ring should cost 3 months salary. Travis makes 14.3 million a year just from the NFL. That doesn't include all his side endorsements. So now is. What is that whole thing about the so many months? What is that? Where did it come from? You want the truth or the. No, I want a big lie. The myth and then the truth. The beers who used to control 80% of the world's rough diamonds made up an advertising slogan that you should spend two months salary should be. That should be your guide. So whatever. Two months salary is that up? It was just made up. It's like advertising agents in the 50s and 60s said breakfast most important meal of the day. It's complete nonsense. It's just an advertising myth that they made up and based on people that used to work on a farm salary. So the two Month salary, breakfast, important. And the female orgasm. All myths. Well, not all those, but just some of them. But yes. So it. But it's. It's a fine guide. And if you use that, then Taylor Swift would have to spend like 10 times this. I mean, it's. I think she. She made over a billion. Billion dollars or something like that. Well, she doesn't buy her own engagement. Yeah. So it's the guy's salary, right? The guy. Well, even his salary would be. We'd have to. We'd have to go up there. This is downsizing for her. But. Yeah, that's true. She doesn't like gaudy. That'd be gaudy. Yeah. There's. There comes a point where enough, isn't it? It's really the. Sure. Now this is right up there with bells ring and JLo's ring. Apparently it's not the thought that counts. What is it? Because, Christy, you were saying that most women would be upset if they were given an engagement ring that what the man acquired for free. Well, it's not the thought. You gotta have. Some women wanted to hurt a little bit. Yeah. Time to squeeze in another quick news story. Christy, what do you got? A man who paid more than $15,000 to transform himself into a dog has opened up about being sad about the misconception around him becoming a dog. The man from Japan calls himself Toko. He says he has spent a staggering 2 million yen or about $15,000 on a full size human collie costume, so he could look like his favorite breed of canine and fulfill his lifelong ambition of becoming a dog. Really? However, Toko has shared the reality behind that journey, admitting that he gets upset when trolls judge him. He says he feared coming out in real life because of the reaction he gets and said, quote, I rarely tell my friends because I'm afraid they will think I'm weird. Now we've just posted a photograph of. That is something. It's very realistic. It looks like a stuffed collie. Sure. Here's a video of him rolling around and doing trees. When he's like moving and stuff, it looks. At first glance you go, oh, there's a dog. Is this guy a midget or something? How's he getting into that? Hang on a second. What the hell is going on? You know what, Stevenson, he brings up a good point. What the hell is going on here? I think he's a smaller man, but I don't think. I mean, he's not a puppy. I think the weird. The weird part is he takes himself so seriously just to do the right thing. He got himself neutered. Oh, that's good. Yeah. Okay, if you see this video, I mean, he's scratching at the door. He's got to be humping, right? That would have to be the number one. He's not humping. Well, later on in the video, his master comes up and whacks him in the face with a newspaper because he pooped in the living room. Well, your bucket list, though, if you're going to be a dog, and let's say that's bucket list item number one, Right. Number two, it would have to be humping. Humping something, right? Yeah. And you know, he's crapping in the yard. What is he trying to get in? Yeah, he's trying to get in there. He's drinking. Oh, he's drinking a soda. Oh, there. He's got a soda, sir. He's got a. He's got a Cherry Coke there, it looks like. What's going on? He doesn't get to have that? No. This is crazy. Okay, are there any pictures of the guy when he does? No, he says he won't show his face because he doesn't want people at his workplace to know that he does this at home. So is that a suit he had made or is it a carcass? $15,000. Yeah, we had it made. $15,000. It's not a carcass. Rick Baker, actually, the Oscar winner. Rick Baker made it. I remember. Yeah, the werewolf movie with David Naughton. When they turned into. I lost my Mind. This guy's actually turning into a dog. He actually goes on walks with his. They'll put a leash on him, and he'll go for a walk, all right? I don't want to hear about him until he's down. That's exactly what the other dogs are saying. All right. What the hell is that? Does he lift his leg when he is out on the walk? What's going on there? Hey, why did the boy dogs do the with their back feet when they get done using the bathroom and the girl dog? It depends. Dog to dog. I have never had a dog that did the with their back feet. Did Buddy do that with his back feet? No, he does it at night in the bed. He goes like crazy like the Three Stooges. Like, he's doing, like, the Curly Shuffle. Yeah, he goes like crazy. And then I read online, it's that dogs do that before they go to sleep. They, like, are getting the. They're space ready, and he goes bananas. You look, he's doing The Curly Shuffle every night. But not when he goes to the bathroom. This guy, I'm guessing, is a bachelor. I don't know. I would. It doesn't go into that, but I would. You're going to be judged, sir. You just got to not. You got to not worry about it. Yeah, yeah. Just shake it off like when you're wet. Speaking of dogs, you ever wonder what your dog likes to watch on television? No, no, never. I'm certain of they like exactly what I. Well, according to a study published recently in the journal Applied Animal Behavior Science, dogs are most engaged when watching videos that feature other dogs. Other animals. Exactly. Isn't there a scene in the fabulous movie Scrooge where Robert Mitchum plays the TV executive? Yeah. And he tells Bill Murray, you know what we need to do? We've got the numbers back. There's an amazing number of cats watching television. Yes. What we need is a private detective with a ball of string that he holds. Maybe that's his gimmick. He says that's his gimmick. So he holds it in front of the tv. So he insists that they put mice in the Christmas Carol so cats will watch. And then it cuts to a shot of a mouse in the Christmas Carol, and the cat's going crazy and he's like, see? Proves his point. There you go. Home run. This study is part of an overall effort to develop better ways to check canine vision, which we talked about yesterday, I believe, which researchers say is sorely lacking in veterinary medicine. My dogs go ballistic when other animals come on the television. Really? They'll jump at the tv. It's incredible. Yes. Wow. Mine do not care. But then I have another dog. The boy dog likes to watch football. He'll follow the game. My cat likes to watch hockey. Yeah. She just loves how the puck goes around her head moves. Well, now, if you have a girl pet, they're gonna like to watch the cheerleaders and whatever. Whatever sports you watch, not the actual sport. That's right. Yeah. They look for what they are. How do you identify with the cheerleaders? My boy dogs. Right now, I've got the two girl dogs on the boy dog. My boy dog likes to watch soap operas. Oh, yeah, because of all the way you put some stank on. Coming up next on the Bob and Tom show, we'll discover some rejected life license plates in case you're looking for a new one. This is the Bob and Tom show. Welcome to AutoZone. What are you working on today? So you've got an oil change coming up you can go farther and save on full synthetic with our Oil Change special. Right now you can get 5 quarts of Valvoline Advanced Full Synthetic with an STP Extended Life Oil Filter for just 33.99. Get the parts you need when you need them at autozone or autozone.com restrictions apply. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show, here on a Friday. This is Christopher speaking. The gang will be back in here live on Monday morning. Let's go through some rejected license plates in case you're looking to personalize yours. I'm Chick McGee, and here's our leader, our founder, Mr. Number One Fearless Leader. Big T. Big T. Big T. Yeah. Big T in the house. Big T. That's what my. That's what my physical therapist calls me. Big. Oh, that's cool. Big T. Really keep you motivated. Yeah. Yeah. Who called you Mr. TG was that in the Bahamas? That was a server lady in the Bahamas. Yeah. Server lady in the Bahamas. I don't mean to. Some people get upset with the word waitress, but she was. Do you remember what the lady of the Bahamas called me? I do remember this. No, I didn't hear this. Sugar Bush. Oh, that's so good, because my. My beard was. Yeah. Oh, more salt and peppery then. Yeah. I can never forget that because my mother lived in the Sugar Bush condominiums. She looked a little bit like a Della Reese. Yes. Did she have a sweet. Much like. Much like earlier today. You couldn't say the joke you had in mind out loud. Yeah, you can't say. I can't. E. Mine's different. Yeah, she called me equally offensive. And we lived together for three and a half years. Oh, lovely. Give it a shot. Okay, we got. I gave it a shot. We got to get to. We got to get to this new story about license plates, but I want to go back to the one that you gave us before we took a break. Which one? B. Chicken. Ck. N. Booty. Set this. Set this up. Officials are sharing some of the personal vanity license plates that were rejected in 2023 at the Indiana bureau, Bureau of Motor Vehicles. They include. Where's this? Indiana. Okay. Some of these are also. We have another list from Canada. Yeah, Equally interesting. All right, so we left you with ck, NB UT and it's not chicken butt, but thank you, Christy. I see chicken butt. Okay. All right. These are the ones that the. They were. They wouldn't give these to people. No. All right, this one's kind of cute. I can't believe they didn't let this One out Geo ta space. P O O. Oh, got a poo. That's kind of got a poo. That is. I think they're trying to keep it away from the scatological. I think is the logic. So I mentioned. I. It's my understanding from talking to someone that works at one of these license branches, they. Is that your understanding? They. And you expect us to believe you know someone who works at a licensed. Yeah, she used to work here actually and. Oh, that's true. Yeah. A list is being is circulated among all the states that have the vanity plates just to kind of be on the lookout. And there are people that always get away with something. Oh yeah, here's one that I love. This is not on the list of forbidden ones. This is on an actual vehicle. It's. This is on a. From Pearl River, Mississippi. Beautiful plate. That's where Elvis was born. It's Rzldazl. Razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. Wow. I saw this one last night. Jeep. Yeah. 2th F1XR. Think about it. Tooth fixer. Yes. So a dentist perhaps. Isn't that cute? Toothfix. You think I should get P P L S H R H O L E. You think I could get that? No. You know what you could get. You could get me some. You know what you could get? No. Chicken. H O L E. You could get me some coffee. Yeah. Could you go into a broader. Well, I'd like something from. I'm still trying to figure this out. Yeah, I don't know. You know what it is? Tomorrow P L S A R Hole. S H R S H R. Pleasure hole. Oh, I still don't know what the pleasure hole is. Well, on Chick stop by and just not on me. I just press Chick's prostate button. Oh, by the way, I'd like to clarify Ms. Sugar Bush. Someone that wrote a letter. Prostate no R. Prostrate straight means you're lying down, getting your prostate checked. Okay, once again, these are rejected license. Vanity license plate suggestions. Some of these aren't. They don't seem that bad to me. What's this mean? Zero, I guess. B O L L O X. That's English. Yeah, that's a cutscossing and bollocks. In Indiana it should be fine, but in Canada it may not be. Yeah, see, some of these are from Canada. Yeah. Oh, this one was from Indiana. It said 1 doobie numeral 1 d, o o B I E. They don't want too many drug references. The next one write down Doobie. I should get pleasure hole. Hang on a second. No. Chick. Yes. Restraint for the next one. Okay. Numeral four. Numeral four. Space, Q, A, N, I, L. Okay. When you're a fan, you're a fan, I guess. Yeah. That person is pro. Wait a minute, let me write it down. I'm not getting it. 4 and 4, A. So when this guy. When this guy shows up at your daughter's for the prom in his minivan. No kidding. With the. For Anil plate. Oh, how much with I instead of A? Now here's a more subtle one. You'll need your pencil for this one. A, 55 ass. Oh, is this like boobies on one of Those old calculators? A, 55 M, 4 N. Ass man. Yeah. Ass man. Yeah. Yeah. And then this next one puzzles me. I don't know why they would. Do you have the next one that starts with an A? A vg? Yeah. A V, G, S, I, Z, E. Oh, average size. Size. No. Oh, I thought it was vag season. That's cute. No, it's rabbit season. Vag season. Vag season. Webb season. Yeah. It's funny because I walked into re. I walked into RE island last week. I said, hey, listen, I'm looking for. Is it bad season? No, no, that's. It's. It's. It's only bow and arrow. You can only use the bow and arrow. Now, this next one is average size. Should go. That's average size. Seems okay. Lighten up. I. I bet they thought it meant penis. Yeah, I bet they thought it meant badge size. No, I bet they meant. I said. That's why I would. I got. This next one is tricky. It's a letter B. Booty hole, letter B. Numeral 1, letters, G, TYs. Go ahead. Go ahead, big mouth. It's okay. Don't. Don't encourage him. Yeah, it's the one. The one looks much like a capital I. And I wish you'd shut up. Be careful. Okay, the next one. I can see this one. Look at this one. Now. That guy mean business. The vanity plate really is just idies. I, D, D, I, E. That study has. Is it a Tennessee? Tennessee. No, I think it's a Taylor University. Yes. Okay. Yeah. Which is a Christian university. College. This guy rolls up in my driveway for my Christmas party. It's going to be a great party. Yeah. That guy knows what he's doing. That can't be real. Yeah. Well, it's. Well, look, it certainly looks real. Looks real. There's a guy in my neighborhood that just says dumper across the back of his I have a picture on my phone and it just says dumper. Now that got by. So. Yeah, I don't know what he does. Okay, here's one. There'll be no speaking after I read this one. Are we clear on this? Yes, sir. F, U, x, u, numeral 2. I can't figure that one out. Yeah, I don't see anything wrong. That's fine. Wow. Yeah, they. They rejected that one. Yeah, I understand that one. How in the hell would that ever get by? This one didn't get by. Letter C, Space. W, O, R, D. Oh, yeah. Now this one's little. I like this one. Are there. Are there boats out there that are named C? Word? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. S, E, A. Classy. You're going to spend a million dollars on a beautiful vessel and name. C Word. How about this one? B, I, G, Big space. P, E, E, N. Maybe it was. Maybe the guy has a large ball peen hammer. Maybe a large, big pen. Here comes old Big Peen. Yo, Big Bean Titties is here. He goes to Taylor, you fool. He's studying to be a reverend. It is big P. There's more. Oh, yeah. Goody. You think they'd let me put my last name on a license plate? I bet you. I bet they would question it. Yeah. I can't do an NFL jersey. That's such. Even though they're bummer. I think Fair Hooker was a NFL player. Yeah. There are like three or four hookers playing right now in the NFL. Yeah, it has to be team specific. Do you think they'd give you J. Hooker? I don't know. I don't. Yeah, I haven't tried that. How about B.J. hooker? Isn't that William Shatner? B.J. hooker. $5. Heather Lockley. That's all she got on the job. Here's one that used to be a bit of ours. Mr. Space. Oh, F, I, S, T, R. Mr. Fister. Hey, Mr. Fister. Mr. Fister. I feel like a part's been cut out. It's like hearing shaving. A haircut. Not the second part. Yeah. Are we. Are we allowed to play Mr. Fister anymore? I don't think we're allowed to do whatever we want once. You know, my dad always used to tell me that nothing's against the law if you don't get. I don't get this one. Okay. R, I, Z, Z, L, E, R. What's wrong with Rizzler? Rizzler? Yeah. R, I, Z. I don't get it either. Isn't Riz like for Charisma, Right. Didn't we learn that riz means charismatic? Why is Rizzler jizzler? Could be. I was gonna say. Is that a typo? We change any one letter. Yeah. If you had. If you had Hit City, you know. Remember I told you any. Any joke that ends in hat, I just start laughing. Yes. Almost the same with the word guzzler. I kind of like Guzzler. I bet you do. The Canadians are really bizarre. Canadians are out of their minds. Oh, man, it's that cold, they can't help it, you know? Okay, here we go. These are from Canada. Okay. Yso space. Slo. Why so slow? What's wrong with that? Nothing. What, they don't allow that? Nope. How about I get. How about I get something for figuring that out so fast? Yeah, you did. You did. A free pass from the rest of the show. You can go home. Don't you. Don't you dare take. You know, you should. You know what? If you have any balls at all, you go home. You. Will you walk out of here. Yeah. We have more of the Bob and Tom show on the way. Old Barbie checks in next hour. Plus comedian Dusty Slay. But next. It's a busy day. You'll hear that coming up in just a few minutes here on the Bob and Tom Show. When you think about businesses that are selling through the roof, like aloe or skins, sure, you think about a great product, a cool brand and brilliant marketing. But an often overlooked secret is actually the businesses behind the business making, selling and for shoppers, buying simple. For millions of businesses, that business is Shopify. Nobody does selling better than Shopify. With shopping, that boosts conversions up to 50%, meaning way less carts are going abandoned and way more sales happening. So if you're into growing your business, your commerce platform better be ready to sell whatever your customers are scrolling or strolling on the web in your store, in their feed and everywhere in between. Businesses that sell more sell on Shopify. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout skins uses. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com all lowercase go to shopify.com Westwood One to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com Westwood One. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom Studios. Hope you're having a good morning this morning. Coming up, it's a busy day and Chick is going to cuss. Hello, how are you? Today's day, I'm cussing live on the air. Oh, this is exciting. Sure, I've done it before, but I've never called my shot. And here we are. What word are you gonna use? You keep talking, I'll let everyone guess. How about that? What do you think about that one? Well, that shirt. You got wonkers. Hi. Welcome to the Bob and Tom Show. I think that shirt looks great on you. There's no buttons. How do you get into it? There's no buttons. There's no zipper. There's no nothing. How do you get it off is the key. It. It's a blouse. You're a blouse. Okay. Give me one of those. Why don't you go out in the parking lot, Work on your window in your car. Is it still broken? Yes or no? That's all I want out of you right now. A yes or a no. No. You lied. It's not broken. But there's no window there. You've got laundry plastic on your back. It's unbelievable. I'm going to strangle it. Welcome to the Bob and Tom Show. I have offered. He can. You can drive my Suburban. I'd rather drive with the BMW. Oh, yeah, I bet you would. Well, that's not going to happen. Thank you. I have. I have standards. I. I can barely drive that. He must like complicated. He likes it. I like the way the wind. Hi. Welcome to the Bob and Tom Show. It's a very special day. I lack the capacity to. To explain it. I'm Tom Does. And he will in a moment. I once drove a car that you had to have a pair of channel locks to steer. That's safe. Well, it was a. For a brief period of time. It's a long story. You ever had a car you had to start with a screwdriver? No. That was really cool because. And it would spark when I used to boost them. I know about that. When I used to boost the cars when Josh and I worked in that. That car boosting gang. Remember that? I do not remember. Hey, there's Pat Godwin. Hey, Chick. There's. Did I say hi to Christie Lee at the news desk? Okay. There's Josh. You look really nice today, Chris. Thank you. I got dressed up for company. Ace Cosby. Hey, I check. Here's Tom. Why is Today special, Tom? Well, we have a nice crowd through. If you go kind of around the corner in the building here. Duke Tomato and the Power Trio with the Bob and Tom horns. We like to call them the brass to mouth horn section. They're joining us this morning. Also we have the Stephen Singer singers. And we're actually going to have Stephen Singer himself. As our special guest in the house. And there's going to be a Stephen Singer quiz, which he is not aware of. Oh. So quiz about himself? No, about singers. Oh, well, that makes sense. Or we could do Famous Stevens if you want to do a little research. That's all coming up. And we're gonna have a special edition of news we failed to mention with Jeff Osque. How about that? Let's do that. You type Stephen into Google. What's the first one to come down? Stephen Van Zandt? No. Steven Crane. Stephen Universe. Is that a Stephen Crane? The Red Badge of Curtis. That's right. Slipped into a time warp. It's 1910. It starts with a C. What's this? Is there a Stephen? A Steven Universe is. Looks like a cartoon show that's very popular. Did you spell it with a Steven with a V or with a ph with an mother? S, T, E, V, E, N. The way Steven Singer spells it, the first one that comes up in that way is Steven Spielberg. Oh, of course. Yes. There you go. And Stephen Furtick. Who's Stephen Furtick? Anybody? I have no idea. Wow. How about Stephen A. Smith? That's ph. That's ph. Stephen. That's not. Because he's such an acid man. Ph. Oh, yes. He's got an acidic wit. I'm in the room and I don't know what he's talking about. Well, now, Stephen A. Smith. I love Stephen A. Smith because he's incredibly pissed every day about something. Yep. Has he ever had a. Has ever had a day where he goes, yeah, things are pretty good? Yeah. See, here's the thing. Everybody's having fun. You're saying that. Shut up. Now, the point is now, if you go ph instead of V for Stephen, the first ph is Stephen Hawking. Okay? And then King's gotta be in there. You got Stephen A. Smith second. Yeah. Stephen King's third. And then some people. I don't. Steven crowd Stephen. Stephen Colbert comes up. Stephen first is the guy from Animal House. Yes. Oh, you know, there's an interesting story about Stephen. First he delivered pizzas, and he put his picture in the pizza box and he delivered. That's how he got jobs in acting. Hey, hey, while you've got that open, look under a hole. I think that there's going on. There's a new picture of you. Hang on a second. Let me look. There should be a treasure of you bitching. Oh, my God, it's my camera. It's on now. Hello. Steve at first was in here. Here we go. It's the Same story I just told? Yep. It's a great story. He was a young actor trying to get gigs, and he would deliver pizzas. He'd put his. I don't know what to do in there. I don't know if I should pretend to listen to him. Ladies and gentlemen, our show just finally ate itself. I think it's a great story. And he's now deceased, thanks to you. Yeah, who isn't? Okay, line up. Well, that's the kind of mood I'm in. All right, Such and such is six. Tough. Why don't you tough it out, Taylor? Why don't you try walking down our front steps? If it ices up a little bit, it'll probably kill you. Walk it. Walk it off. Now, you mentioned the fact that today's the day you're gonna curse. Yes. But you're gonna call your shot. I'm saying I'm gonna curse. See, unlike this, here's an example of what can happen on the radio when you get a little too relaxed. Hard to believe. Guy wrote that. Wrote me and Julio down by the schoolyard or whatever the. That's bull. Remember the days of the old school yard? Okay. The reason that's funny is that like, 10 seconds after I said it, I realized I'd said it. That it went on forever. Yeah. What were you commenting on? What was it me and Julio Stevens or something? Me and Julio? Oh, no, I think it was. It was down in the old school yard. Yeah. You don't like Paul Simon? I don't like Paul Simon. I don't care for his ways. You don't like Paul Simon's music? Music. Some of it. You can take it. Are you right? Am I right? You can take it or leave. Yeah. Yeah. I could live without. You can call me Al. Big fan of most of it. Most of it is pretty good. I don't seek it out. Okay, but here's your comment one more time. Hard to believe Guy wrote that. Wrote me and Julio down by the schoolyard or whatever the. That's bullshit. Oh, no. Remember the days of the old school yard? That was it. Yes. You were trying to bring up a Cat Stevens reference when you tripped over your tongue. I didn't trip over my tongue. It was pretty plain what I was saying, what you were doing here. This came up. Did you guys have. You guys have the music service, Spotify and Apple music and all that kind of stuff? Yes, this. You know, Spotify, if you. If you put a playlist together, it puts. It throws songs that you might like into your Playlist. Did you watch it? There is a feature for that. Yeah. It's crazy. Well, this. Last night. I'm driving to dinner last night, night. And this song comes on. Oh, yeah. You'd think, wouldn't you? I'll give you, I don't know, 35 seconds to tell me who this is. I'm going to go. Pearl Jam. No. Boy, it sounds just like somebody. It's somebody that I have ever fallen all around. I. You shut up. You can't guess. Dolly Parton. It's not Dolly Parton. It's. It's somebody I have said I would never listen to. I don't care for them. I don't care for their way. If you'd shut up, I could hear who's singing. I don't know who. That's a note for note cover of a Led Zeppelin. Right? A great impression. Yeah. Yeah. That is kind of an impression. I'll give you a hint. Train sounds like that. That guy can sing. I've always done Zeppelin covers. This is a whole album of Zeppelin company. It's not for note. Okay, enough. We get it. We get it. Yeah, that's good. Real. They sound real good. Yeah, they do real good singing. They didn't really do an interpretation of it. They're just playing note for note on. Right, right. It does seem dead on, but it's good. Isn't that why you cover a song? No. You want to give it your own spin. Well, maybe that is their own spin. Maybe they like. No, it's not. It's note for note. I like that. Their spin is no spin. Yeah. Yes. But can't you recognize that? Maybe that is their spin. It's no spin. Instead of your interpretation for their spin, which wouldn't make any sense. No. I can just play the record if I wanted to. Jake, I feel for you. This is one of those things that inexplicably pissed him off. I was delighted it started to play and I thought, oh, this is interesting. This makes me want to go listen more. Train. But no, apparently their take on Zeppelin is not up to snuff for Mr. Griswold. No, it's just not any. It's not different at all. It sounds exactly like the original. How about if Frank did ramble on? How about that? Ramble on? Yeah. Oh, God. Who did we have on? Talk? You ramble on? Ramble Ra. We had some. Who was the guy we that redid Nirvana? Smells Like Teen Spirit. I don't remember that. He takes a lot of balls. We had him on the Air Richard. Cheese guy. It was really. Aw. It was real. I'm sorry, I can't. One of the sort of. Can you think of any one's take on someone else's music that you sure care for? Yeah. Joe Cocker, with little help from my friends. One of the few people to cover the Beatles and make it better. Better. Yeah, yeah, Better. That is better. Oh, my God, that's genius. Yeah, absolutely. All right, what else is happening over there? We've got one of these stupid. World record. The tourist attraction. The tourist attraction called Jumbo Jump. Yes. In Pakistan. Does anybody want to guess what this is? No. Men only. I hope a woman is not involved. I'm sure. I'm almost certain. And it's men only. Yes. Is a cliff involved? Or in this case, male, children only. Jumbo Jump in Pakistan has broken the Guinness World Record for the largest inflatable bouncy castle. No way. The inflatable structure named Jumbo Castle measures 15,295.51 square feet and has a maximum capacity of 200 people at one time. Man, that's wild. You know, there's always that one kid who's 80 pounds heavier than the rest of the kids. Always lands on your kid when you go to those bouncy houses. You know what I'm talking about? Yes. There's always a rougher kid in those. Yeah, there should be a weight limit on those. It's not always about El Gordo juniors out there stomping on little kids trying to have fun. Tom, did your bounty house is move with you? Yeah, I've got a bouncy house at my house. It's in the garage. I gotta blow it up, though. It's not 15,000 square feet, but that's wild. That's cool. Yeah. How many stories? I think only the one. Oh. Oh, I see they haven't perfected the multi story. I'm going second floor. We've got comedian Dusty Slay coming up for you in just a couple of minutes. Stand by. Come on back. This is the the Bob and Tom Show. Hi there. I'm Nicole Khalil, host of this is Woman's Work. Where together we're redefining what it means, what it looks and feels like to be doing woman's work in the world today. From boardrooms to studios kitchens to coding dens, we explore the multifaceted experiences of today's woman, confirming that the new definition is whatever feels true and right and real for you or torture. Searching the old playbook and writing our own rules. Who Runs the world. You decide. Follow and listen to this is Womb's work part of the Believe Network on your favorite platform. More of the Bob and Tom Show. Now on a Friday morning. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom Studios. How about a segment with comedian Dusty Slay? Here's Tom with our special guest, Tom. He is indeed Dusty Slay, comedian. It's great to see you in person, Dusty. What a pump to be here. Now, I have a real dumb question. Is your real name Dusty? It is Dusty. Well, that's my, you know, maybe not my government name. I don't like to tell people this, but my parents wrote a name down on the birth certificate. But they always called me Dusty. Right? So I always say, regardless of what they wrote down, if they called me Dusty, isn't that my name? Yes, I think it is what you answer to. Like, I don't know why they wrote down Dustin on the birth certificate and then never used it. Even when I'm in trouble, they weren't like Dust. Yeah, they, you know, I've always been Dusty. I don't know what they were thinking. That's great, but was it Dustin Hoffman? Was that the, well, genesis of this? See, that's what they said. My dad says that I'm named after Dusty Rhodes. Okay. Yeah, that's cool. And my mom says I'm named after Dusty. A character, a reoccurring character off a soap opera, I believe. Dusty. Dallas, Maybe. Maybe. Okay. One of them. Somebody you know. That's what she said. I don't know. But again, both Dusty's. Yeah. Not Dustin's. Maybe they slipped up in the. Well, maybe they thought Dusty on your birth certificate didn't look professional enough. Maybe. Or maybe. I don't know. I can't. My dad's name's Guy and my mom's name's Edna. So I feel like with names like that, you could go anywhere with it. You know what I mean? Guy and Edna. Yes. You don't, you don't have to just have to reveal this, but you are a family man now. I am a family man. You have two kids. And when you named them, did you peruse family records or did you go into. Just saw your favorite television shows? How did you decide? Well, I tried to, you know, really think about it. I tried to give them some good names that they, they wouldn't be, you know, stuck with some bad name their whole life. And I didn't try to get too cute with it. My daughter, I named Daisy. Now, we like that name, but we gave her A kind of a family middle name. And then my son, we went very normal with Samuel. Both such great names. Thank you. I've got a Sam and my niece is Daisy. All right. Is that right? Yeah. All right. I love that. Daisy and Poppy. But, you know, I wanted to get real creative with my son's name. But then at the end of the day, I was like, you know, let's just give him a normal name and let him live a normal life. Do you call him Samuel? We call, you know, we got all kind of cute names. You know, Sammy is what we call him a lot. It's a lot of fun. I like a two syllable name. I don't know why I gave him, you know, more of a one syllable name. I like a two syllable name. It rolls off. And are you super. You're still in the nickname phase? Yeah, yeah, I think so. I mean, he's eight months, you know. Oh, sure. Yeah. I call my eight year old Cispo. Okay. Yeah. Her name is Hart H A R T. I don't know. Do you know the origin of Cispo at all? No, I just made it up. I call them both. That is your other little girl, Boom Ba. No, she's Sis Bo. I should start calling her. I think you should. I don't know where it came from. It just started years ago when they were little and it just. All of your kids had weird nicknames. Yeah, I always remember Rabbit Boy. Rabbit Boy. It was Sam when he was little. That's a long nickname, Daisy, but I get it. And Poppy are your nieces. Yeah. You've met. Was the flower motif on purpose? Yeah, my sister Jane. They are, but they are indeed Daisy and Poppy. If we had another daughter, we want to name her Rose to keep a real flower theme going. We were into that. We like a real. We like a theme. Yeah. It's a beautiful name. I couldn't think of a male flower I wanted to name my son, you know, Thistle, maybe. Oh, that's not bad. I don't know. Is Thistle Basil neutral? Yeah. Basil. Basil. Basil. And then you got your whole life. Is it Basil or Basil? Yeah. Is it Bella or Bella? Sly trap. Yeah, but that's a good one. Are flowers both male and female at the same time? I think so. But all the names feel very feminine. Yeah. Like Iris. A friend of mine assigns gender to numbers and letters. That's like A, B is a boy and G is a girl. A is a girl. No. What? C? Yep. What's the C is a boy. I'm going to say it could go either way, couldn't it? Numbers now, Dusty, do you have brothers and sisters? Yeah, I have two older sisters. We have the same mom, different dad. And then I have a younger sister. We have the same dad, different mom. So younger sister, not related to my older sisters. That's okay. Interesting. I always think that's fun. Are their names relatively normal? Yeah, they're all pretty normal. I got the weird. You know, it's like I got Trisha, Jennifer, and Brooke and then, you know, and then Dusty. That's what happens when my parents get together and name a kid. It worked out well for me. But, yes, I think Dusty Slay is a fun name. Great. Killer name. And I think I'm the only one. I looked up on Facebook one time and there were some others, but they seem fake. It came after you. Yeah. It seems fake, though. One guy I looked up on Facebook, it looks like me, had I not moved from the trailer park. It's like alternate reality. Dusty. Wow. And I think that's what's happened. It's some kind of Mandela effect with this guy. Yeah. You know, Dusty Slay is our guest. Dusty is a distinguished comedian currently on tour. We talked to you a few weeks ago on the. On the Zoom. Yes. Because you had something special out there. What's. What's the status of your television thing? Well, I have a Netflix special called Working Man. Right now. Right now. Watch it now. And that name confuses lot of people. By a lot of people, I mean my dad. But it's going great. I mean, it was in the top 10 on Netflix for about a week. Yeah. I don't know what happened after that, but learn some good stuff about. I learned that you don't like to wash your hands. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that is true. What, did you shake his hand? You've got. No, I did not. I don't hate washing my hands. My. My point is that I just feel like it's out of control. It's just everywhere we're turning now. We're washing our hands. And I mean, like, you know, I just think it's out of control. I'm a big fan. Washes his hands. Do you know that you're supposed to sing Happy Birthday twice? That's what they say. Really hot water. Tom wants to wash his hands right now, and I've got 10 bucks. It says within the next 45 seconds, you reach for your hand sanitizer. When I wash my hand sanitizer, when I wash my hands, I say, happy birthday. I go, happy Birthday. Here it comes. This is the hand sanitizer I keep behind my desk. Wow. Yeah, there it is. Yeah. That's an alarming amount. Yeah. This is 128 fluid ounces. How long will one like that last year? That's a crazy amount of anything. Yeah. Crazy amount of ketchup. That's a good question. How long, honestly, will that last you? A year? No, I'm just sanitizing right now. Okay. And then I. Dusty. I. I hate scented soap. Oh, yeah. You go to a restaurant, you go in and wash your hands, and you come back and you smell like you've been in the classic French horror house. Well, I say I like to compliment people's bathroom soaps so they think I wash my hands. Oh, that's a good idea. Oh, wow. You got some really good smelling soaps in there. Now you're a married guy, do you have a. What I call a parlor bathroom at your house? Like when your guests come over, they've got their own special bathroom they can go to and powder room. Yeah, I mean, you know, there's a, you know, like a half bath. Yeah, that one. At my house, we have one of those and my girl has a. We have a towel in there. It's a fancy towel and it has all the absorbency of aluminum foil. Oh, yeah. Do you have that, Christy, where you get these towels that are non functional as towels? Yeah, I don't have that. I like a good towel. And I also have for gifts, guests, the throwaway towels, you know, that I keep on the sink so you can use one and throw it away like a paper towel. Thank you. But they're fancy paper. Otherwise you're. Yeah, that's very nice. Cloth. The throwaway towels. Cloth. Throwaway towels. Toss it away. Now, you asked me earlier, chick, my favorite Sting song. Yes, I did. Did it take you an hour and a half to find it? What? I was. I wanted to find the. So I could actually play it. Fortress around your heart, remember? Did you ever hear this? Oh, sure. This is a great song. Song. I call it my skip track. Ah, skip over. You don't like this one? Great, great song. And I promised I would mention that book, but there's a book that's. No one was waiting for that Sting's guitar player wrote a book called Do Stand so Close. My Improbable Adventures as Sting's guitarist. It's a great book. I really recommend it. If you're a guitar player. Really fun. There's no way it's not out of print. Who came first? The Wrestler or the musician? I don't know. That is a good question. The police is 79. 79, 78. Probably staying the singer then. What was he staying then when he was. Yeah, because didn't he wear something made him look like a bee? Yeah, rugby shirts, I think. And he was. I was reading about Sting. His. He was staying before he was even in the Police. He was always staying when they. When you think the wrestler was like aware of Sting must have been. But just when. I don't care. Yeah, I'm just going to do it. Yeah, I'm going for it. They can't sue me because I'll wear makeup so they don't know what I look like. Tom, are you familiar with the wrestler Sting? I am not. I didn't think so. Now, wasn't he in a lesser league, if you will, for. I think he bounced around. He was in the wcw, you know, against Ric Flair all the time. Right? That's true. He's in AEW now. There you go. In the ring when you wear the paint, you can't see me. There's your lesser league, the aew. But he was always wcw. And then he switched over to WWF way later. But he was, you know, he's a classic. He dressed up like the Crow later. Oh, yes, he did. Yeah. It got very Brandon Lee. Yeah, you gotta hand it to the older guys that do that because it's so hard on the body. Dude. Yeah. I can remember seeing Dick the Bruiser toward the end. That was my dad's favorite wrestler. Dick the Bruiser. Yeah, he was great. He got a little stocky there. He had a dad bod for sure. Did you ever bruise your mind? Oh, yeah, I guess it did. Yeah. But no Dick the Bruiser. Well, technically, didn't Ric Flair not retire until he was in his 70s? I mean, I don't know if he. I told you, I was on a plane with Ric Flair. Yeah. And he was not in first class, but he was on the plane and he was traveling by himself. And he got off the plane and was walking by himself. And I was right behind him and I wasn't going to bother him, but he was styling and profiling. He looked like he was just walking to me. It's shocking to me that not one person, if I'm Rick Flair, I'm taking somebody with me. And that not one person gave him the woo woo. No, Nobody. Yeah, yeah. I'm certain it was him. Absolutely certain. Yeah. I saw toward the end also Bobo Brazil, who was famous for Christie Lee stealing my Monte Cristo, Sal. No, his move. Oh, he had the cocoa butt. The cocoa butt. She's never going to. I'm not going to get over Monte Cristo incident. No, it was. You were eating lunch with Mr. Brazil. No, I was. I. I worked in television for a while and I had to run camera for a wrestling event. And afterward we all went to dinner. So it was like midnight and I was having a Monte Cristo and he walked in and he goes, you don't need that. And took it and walked off. You don't need that. Yeah, needed it. Bobo wants and what Bobo wants Bobo. I wasn't gonna fight him. Gosh, you know. Yeah, I was right there, ringside. He was badass. Yeah. You ever met a wrestler, Dusty? I don't think. I don't know. I think you'd know. Dusty, I know you would think that. I know, but I met Jeff. Jeff Ross. Oh, no. Jim Ross. Oh, Jim Ross is great. Jeff Ross, too. Jim Ross, the announcer? Yeah. I feel like I've met wrestlers, but I can't right now. I don't. It's not coming. Oh, you know what? I met the redheaded guy that wrestles right now, the Irish guy. Oh, he's been in here. Oh, what's his name? Seamus. Yeah, Seamus. I met Seamus not long ago. Yeah, he's been here. He's really nice guy. He is a really nice guy. Randy Orton has seen me do standup a couple times and has been very complimentary. He gave me a hug that I still feel to this day. Have you heard about the. The wrestling movie that's out right now, the Iron Claw? Have you seen that? Yeah, with Zac Efron. It's apparently really sad. It's incredibly sad and it's evidently all true. And there's even more that they didn't put in the movie because the director said it was too sad already, so. They love to ruin your childhood. Yeah. You have fun with us. You having fun with this? Let me show you how sad it really is. You enjoying yourself? Wait till the Bob and Tom movie comes out. You want sad? Okay. Now, somewhere in this building is a hat from Hyman's restaurant. Oh, yeah. And our guest, Dusty Slade. I've had dinner at Hyman's Delicious. It's in Charleston, South Carolina. You worked there for how long I worked there? I don't know, off and on about 10 years. I quit. You know, I had a little span in between where I didn't work there, but yeah, I worked there. I was owned by a family the last Name Hyman. And we know people. I, you know, people would ask me, they would go, oh, are you one of the Hymans? I'm like, yeah, cuz they named me Dusty Hyman. And it used to be located on the same block as a restaurant called Sticky Fingers. And there was a clothing store called Loose Lucy's. All right there together. Wow, that is true. Now you are on tour, right now. Do you tour by yourself? I usually try to take a feature, but I travel alone. You know, I travel like Ric Flair out here and you know, like, you know, I'll just be alone on some seed and people will be like, I saw him. I didn't want to bother him, but I saw him. For you to be in disguise, you just take off your hat. Well, you would think, you know, that is. But I like wearing the hat. Right? It's like, that's the thing. If I. If I don't wear the hat, I don't get recognized as much. But I still am getting recognized now. I got bombarded a little bit in the airport the other day, which is like, pretty cool. Yeah. But also like, oh. I was like, this is Netflix is wild. You know, you get on Netflix, it's a whole new level out here. I got recognized several times on the street yesterday. People from their cars yelling at me. We're having a good time. Yeah, that's my very own. Whoo. Yes. That's great. I mean, I stopped at a love truck stop in Kentucky and people were recognizing me. And I fan base out here. Yeah. Well, speaking of truck stops, we had a funny story yesterday about a gas station. You may have heard about this. They have actually installed. They're calling it a disco bathroom. And this particular chain of gas stations has called hop shops. You've ever been to a hop shop? No, but it sounds like there's no need to wash your hands in there. Well, at a Verona, Ohio, location, a couple got married in the disco bathroom. Mr. Logan Abney and Ms. Tiana Alstock. The ceremony took place Valentine's Day. Tiana walked past the snacks and slushies on her father's arm to the convenience store's bathroom. She and Logan exchanged custom vows before sharing a first kiss, then smacking the red party button to trigger the bathroom's disco lights. Oh, boy. They then danced to Randy Travis's Forever and Ever. Amen. A classic. That is a classic song. Too classy for a bathroom wedding. It kind of is. Do Randy Travis like that. I just think that's so funny. It's kind of a Fun thing. And I guess this, these disco bathrooms are all their locations. Pop shops. I would think they got so much publicity from them, I would put them in all of them. But the question has been asked before if you're in there using it for its purpose and someone else comes in and they hit the so called party button. Yeah. We don't know if they're a one staller or. We saw. I saw video clips. I saw. It didn't look very big. No, it looked like there was maybe one stall and one or two urinals. Do you think they reserve that for the wedding or people were still coming in and out. Yes, you're right. Yeah. Yeah. The officiant goes. You may want to wait just a few minutes. Trucker Bob, just Trucker Bob. He just took some liberties in there. I mean, we're going to need a candle. Coming up next on the show, old Barbie checks in. You don't want to miss that. And some stupid world records. This is the Bob and Tom show. Bob and Tom, you met Lala Kent on Vanderpump Rules. Now Lala and her friends share everything on Give them Lala Bagel. Everybody says. I say that weird. It has ruined my proposal story. How Jason proposed and she was like, he brought in a bunch of bagels. I was like, I have to stop. I will punch you in the throat if you ever tell this story again and call it a bagel. Let me tell you now, when I tell the story, I go. He went and got breakfast. There you go. Bagels. Yeah. Watch what Lala is talking about on YouTube or search for Give them Lala. Wherever you listen. Getting married to my pickup truck it never leaves me when I'm down on my luck. It doesn't shop at fancy stores or have a lawyer or want a divorce. No, it doesn't carry if I stay out late it doesn't bet you about the money I make. We'll be together till the end. It won't sleep with my best friend. I'm gonna get down on one knee and ask my truck if it'll marry me. I'll never drive another car. Real honeymoon at the bar. I'm gonna have the time of my life. The exhaust pipes tighter than my ex wife. You think I'm crazy but listen to this. I can bring home a hooker and it won't get pissed. No, the wedding ring won't cost me a buck when I get married to my pickup truck. Welcome back on this Friday to the Bob and Tom Show. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom Studios again. The gang is back in here live on Monday morning. Right now, old Barbie checks in. And how about some stupid World Records on a Friday? Right now, on the big screen, we've been joined by. That's right, Bob and Tom. It's Bobby from Boca Raton, Florida Living Center. Nice to see you, Barbie. Looking good. Oh, I'm in my mid-70s. As you can tell, old age has not been kind to old Bob here. Well, I just had my upper waxed three days ago. It's already back with a vengeance. I'll say. Boy, Tom Selleck would be jealous. That's a stash. Thank you. Taylor Swift back in the news. Half the world loves her. Your father hates her. You almost wish the Kardashians were back. While I am not a Swiftie, I do own two swifter sweepers. One for everyday messes and one for when I pedal on the floor from laughing too hard watching young Sheldon. Oh, Barbie. Personally, I think it's great Taylor and Travis are together. Before he was married. I once went out with Travis's brother, Jason. Really? Oh, the man is gifted. Oh, if he's ever in prison, he could just use that thing to pull volt over the fence, so to speak. Wow. Yeah, let's just say Bobby was living high on the horn for those three weeks. Oh, my gosh, I gotta run. They just opened the omelet station and I am not getting stuck behind Juice Newton again playing with the Queen of Hearts. You're playing with Bobby's patience, Juice Newton. Your name sounds like a Welch's grape banged a cookie from the 80s. Make your selection and move on. The line's already backed up to the oatmeal station. Let's go already. What was that? Juice? Oh, Bob and Tom. Juice just gave me the finger. Time for Bobby to go throw some hands. Thank you, Barbie. Nice. Lovely. Okay, welcome back. I think Barbie tipped over there. I think her hair got caught in the chair. Rough exit. Stupid world record. A teenager from India has broken the Guinness World Record for the most languages sung in a concept concert. Oh, really? Most languages sang in a concert? Sung in a concert. How many sing sang song songs. Okay, song Blue. Everybody knows one. I love that song. The teenager's name? Ms. Ms. Period. Ms. Suck. Suck a try. So she what? What? S U. Yeah. C H E T. Let's suck it. H A. Suck it. Huh? Suck it. Last name Sad. Just blast through it like you know what you're doing. Satish. S A T I S H. Satish. And what'd she do now? She Sang a song with the most languages. Sang in an impression. Press it. Hang on a second. Okay. Sang in 140 different languages to raise awareness about climate change. And who's this Mrs. Suffering suck attach. 18 year old's 9 hour long concert. Oh boy, that had to be fun. They give her parents an award for having to deal with that. How old did you say? 18. Hey, Suchetta's in the basement singing in Spanish again. What? You upset about the clowns? Hey, this next. She's. Now she's singing in Klingon. This year it was foggier. Half a percent more than it was 20 years ago. Hey, she's singing in pig Latin. I like pig Latin. Esperanto. I wonder if that was in there. Is there still some college professor that is clinging to Esperanto as the savior of all culture? I hope so. We're all going to get together. We're all going to start speaking Esperanto, Right? What's. What's Esperanto? It was meant to be like universal language. To get everybody to get together. We would all learn it. Come on, people. Now instead of. Instead of speaking English, we'd have to speak Esperanto, right? Does anybody speak Esperanto? I'm just asking. There's some, you know, jackass that didn't catch on like the Euro still trying to do We Are the World in Esperanto. English. Do you speak English? The guidelines of the record say that each song must be at least 2 minutes long and allow for a 5 minute break each hour. Yeah, but she cheated. She did several instrumentals. Oh, yeah, that is just instrumental in Greek. Well, then here's. I've got some of the. No, this is real. No. Yes. Here we go. Oh, God. What languages do we know? Maybe some kind of Farsi or. What is wrong with him? This isn't bad. No, it's not. Yeah, it is. There we go. Oh, that's a mouse singing. That's nice. This sounds. This reminds me. I would go to my. My. One of my best friends brule. I'd go to his family's for dinner. Yes. And this kind of music would be playing and we'd be eating wonderful Indian meal. Okay. That was the only one you. I don't know. Yeah, I mean, that's what. That's just what it sounds like. I thought the cool part is when she decided to sing in English. I thought her choice of this song was great. That would be so fun. Ladies and gentlemen. Well, we have yet all his favorites today. Ladies and gentlemen, the Rivington Come on, babies. Babies. A little loud. First record I ever bought. Why the name of the band, Pat? I don't know. You just said it. The Rivingtons. You just said the Rivingtons. And I did. I met. I met a couple, this is true, that had named their kid Rivington. And I said. Oh, did you name him after the great band the River? They never even heard of it. Can you believe it? They've never heard of it. They'd never heard of a marginal song from 70 years ago. They have a follow up hit. That's insane. That's a great song. I prefer the Trash Men's homage to that. But. No, no, no, no, no. That's the original. The OG as the kids say, the Trashman's the original. No, no, no. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, the Trashman. I mean those lyrics. Those lyrics are better than lyrics to any song by that band America had played before. I totally disagree. Wonderful. The lizards in the air and there's something character. It was cold and they were falling out of the trees. Okay, so the. This lady sings in 140 languages. Good for her. That's a skill. Yeah, yeah, she does. And what we're subjected. What do you mean? In what way? She knows all these languages. She has a good voice. Okay, you're an overachiever. Thanks. Next. Yes, that's right. Let's keep promoting the underachievers should. Gibberish. Gibberish. Me or her? Her. I'm singing. Is that. Is that sports? Is that sports? Yes, sir. This is what you far for? Where you going? Whatever you do, always. Next. Be a good sport. Tom. Yes, sir. How much would you pay? Remember one of your favorite bits is Curly in a dress singing opera. Yeah, I. It's the Three Studios. He goes. Would you. Would you pay to see Chick do that in front of 20,000 people? I'd pay to see him do it in front of a hundred in a dress. You pay me and I'll do it. And a big. Remember, he's got the big wig on and he's. Oh, so that's. And you have to sing just like you just were. That's right. I'm trying. Is that. That's the melody moral. That's right. That's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Is that right? I still remember it from being a kid. Oh, I love it too. There are so many funny things out there and you two are holding on to that. Are parked at the Three Stooges A stout man pretending to be a woman in front of a bunch of a stout man pretending to be a woman and thumbing his nose. Yes, thumbing his nose at the. At the. At the super. The upper crust. Oh, God, that's so. Yes. A pie fight. Oh, how can you not laugh at the Three Stooges? I love a pie fight. I find it incredibly easy. Have you been in a pie fight? I haven't. You know, that's right. She brings up a good point. You wouldn't think that pie. What if the two of you have a pie fight? I had to film that TV commercial and I got pies in the face for three hours. Oh, that's right. I tell you what. Until you've been in a pie fight and your best friend taken down by a lemon meringue. Yeah, you. That. You take that goo and wipe it off his face. You stick your hand in his face and you just. A bunch of goo. You say you're gonna love the part where we cram the watch up your ass. Is that the same movie? Why are they putting the watch off his book? He's getting his war stories. George C. Scott and Pulp Fiction somehow. Oh, I'm sorry. Those are two different movies. Okay, great. Y. Y. You've seen, you've seen Pat. I haven't seen either of those films, no. What? And I say either. You've never seen. No, I don't like. You know me. I don't like gore or violence or war or. You don't like Al Gore? I didn't say that. Oh, I like puppy dogs and rainbows. We have. We have our music over there. Everything's going to be fine. Yeah. Oh, the rose color glasses. That's how I live my life. Gloved H.J. a nice gloved H.J. that's right. Is that a character's name? H. H, J Glover. Coming up next, comedian Ian Bagg and a 106-year-old gets a diploma. But next, Frank Caliendo voices over Piano Man. It's a great segment. Come on back. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Bob and Tom, welcome back. This is the Bob and Tom show for a Friday morning. And this is Christopher in the Bob and Tom Studios. A couple of months ago, we had comedian impressionist Frank Caliendo in studio. And. And we got him to do a bunch of impressions voicing over the song Piano Man. And here it is. Joining us in the studio, it's comedian Frank Kelly. No, I left a while ago. He's just back after missing that. How's your water break? Really good. Room Temperature and flat. That's what he wanted, some nice flat water. Now, we were talking off the air with Patty G. And Mr. Frank Caliendo. Oh, somebody's got a tune. And I asked Frank if he could sing. And the answer is not really probably correct, but I thought if we provided you with some great song lyrics, the song Piano man, you could perhaps go through this with your various famous people doing it. And I have this random list here, so I hope this isn't unfair, but let's just. Let's just try this right now with the lyrics to Piano Man. Ladies and gentlemen, it's comedian Frank Caliendo. Oh, I'm sorry, it's John C. Reilly. Oh, I think I could probably sing in this one. It's 9:00 on a Saturday. The regular crowd shuffles in. There's an old man. It's better than you thought I was gonna be, isn't it? Sitting next to me. How about nice job. How about Morgan Freeman to his tonic and gin he says, son, can you play me a memory? I'm not really sure how it goes but it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete When I wore a younger man's clothes how about Tracy Morgan? That would have been better as me. Da da da da. Okay, Paul Giamatti. Sing us a song. You're the piano man Sing us a song tonight. Well, we're all in the mood for a melody and you've got us feeling all right. Adam Sandler. Ah, here we go. Now. John at the bar is a friend of mine. He gets me my drinks for free and he's quick with that yolk. Would I light up a smoke? But it's someplace that he'd rather be. Jeff Goldblum. He says, bill, I believe this is what. It's killing me. There's a smile ran away from his face. Well, I'm sure that I could be what? A movie star? If I could get out of this place. Yeah. How about John Madden? Oh, speaking of Sports, Mel Kuiper Jr. Talking about real estate. Novelist who never had time for a wife. It's been too much time doing a thing. And he's talking with Davey, who's still in the Navy. You know, the fact of the matter is probably going to be for life. And the waitress, you know, tremendous job. Talking politics. The businessmen, they're slowly getting stoned. Tremendous job. Probably going to keep them lower the draft and sharing a drink they call loneliness. But it's better than what Drinking alone. Seth Rogen, sing us this Song, you're the piano man I guess we're all in the mood for a melody and you've got us feeling all right I got something that makes me feel all right too. How about Al Pacino for the ending here? It's a good, pretty good crowd for a Saturday. And the manager gives me a smile because he knows that it besides me They've been coming to see to forget about life for a while and the piano, it sounds like a carnival I thought it was gonna cut me off so I got big and the microphone smells like beer De Niro time. And they sit at my bar and put bread in my jar and say man, what are you doing here? Stephen A. Smith. Oh, lie da da da da da da Sing us the song. You're the piano man Sing us a song tonight. Ah, well, we're all in the mood for a melody and you've got us feeling all right. Very nice. Frank Caliendo does Billy Joel, the Piano Man. Thank you very much. Yes. That was great, Frank. Oh, I feel so. Oh, you're welcome, guys. Very good. Now we return to the news desk. Sitting in for Christie, it is Jess Hooker. What's going on over there? Experts say men go through their very own version of menopause called andropause. Oh, yeah. Shouldn't it be manopause? According to study finds, andropause refers to the age related decline in male hormones. Hormones resulting in depression, waning sex drive, sexual dysfunction, loss of muscle mass and tone, and increased abdominal fat. A man's gradual loss of testosterone can begin as young as the age of 35 with a loss of one to one and a half percent of total testosterone per year. By the age of 80, most male hormone levels decrease to pre puberty levels. That's very cheerful here in that I'm gonna. I'm gonna get an Android and a cell phone holster, okay? That's how old I am. I'm gonna wear a sweater vest and you think you'd ever do that? Get like a holster for your phone? No. Yeah. Or nor would I wear a sweater vest. What's wrong with a sweater vest? You know, he hates it. Just means you've. You've reached mano paws or whatever. Sweater vest and sweat. You don't like sweatpants either, do you? No, man, you're. You're really missing the boat. No, I imagine Frank Kelly. And you're probably a sweat pants guy, huh? Yeah, four or five. Yeah. I wore shorts today just to mix it up. But I do a lot of. I do a lot of like Amazon super cheap apparel. So I could just throw it out. Because you're at your house a lot, right? Yeah. Too much. Do you have, like, an area you can go where your wife isn't. I used to, but now there's some of her junk in there. It's slowly but surely. We've had a lot of rooms that I'm told that I've got all these places that are just mine, but I look around and it's all her stuff. So you want out? I know a guy. You need to say no. I love it. I love it. I love it. Frank, didn't you have a second house? Yeah. Yeah. I think that's what he's talking about. Yeah. My son's out there, though, now. No. Yeah, the second half. Yeah. I'm even just talking about a little office now. Now it's. I've moved past owning that and understanding. Yeah. This man will pause thing. This sounds kind of fake. I don't think so. I don't. I don't think so at all of you. Enough. Yeah. You have a certain cyclical rhythm with whatever you all. Yeah. But I think this is. I think menopause, it can be a lot more serious with. Don't you think that? A lot more. I think it belittles menopause a little bit. Yeah. I think that the symptoms of menopause are more extreme. Yeah. Yeah. And they're. Obviously, they affect us more. All this is saying whatever the gradual. Josh, how could you say that? The gradual decline, I think is. I think. Yeah. As Josh, you put it best. I think this is kind of saying, okay, we have it too. Yeah. Let's relax, guys. But I don't think any guys are going, I'm going through menopause or andropause. Yeah. No, I don't think so. Yeah. I'm getting older. Yeah. At least I don't have my period anymore. That was a hassle, huh? Right, Josh? Kidding, man. This. Yeah. No. What does menopause. Yeah. Is a real legit thing that's wreck your life. Yeah. Yeah. I've never seen a woman suddenly go, I'm gonna go get New Balance sneakers. Yeah. What does my doll have in it that helps with. I know it's Naproxen, but that's a. And caffeine. Yeah. That's a painkiller. But what does it have to. I guess it does. I think it has a really good ad agency behind it. I don't really think there's anything else in there. Yeah. I think it's Just probably helps some, but. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is one of the, like. It reminds me of those things. Like, oh, I'm a chocoholic. Oh, really? You're addicted to chocohol. You. You've lost your family and your job. Yeah. There's fentanyl in it now, right? Not. Let's keep the alcoholism analogy out of our disorders. It is odd. Please. Yeah. Although Nikki Glaser had a great joke once. She doesn't mind me. She goes, yeah, my mom is a shopaholic. She's addicted to shopping for alcohol. Well, why did they ever put the suffix on alcoholic is just ick. Right. It's not a holic. A hall is part of alcohol. Right. So it would be chocolate ick. Yeah, exactly. That's what it should be. I'm chocolate ick. It's like when they put gate on the end of stuff because of Watergate, the hotel has nothing to do. It's not a suffix that actually means something. So ick is the only alcohol. And if you're addicted to alcohol, it's ick. Alcohol ick. I'm a chocolate chocolate ick. Sugar ick. You're not a holler, but you gotta hand it to them for the gate thing. Sticking around. Pretty amazing. That's true. Was it 60 years ago and it's still being lopped on the flake gate? Tom, what are the signs of aging for you and a man, Ms. Hooker? I mean, there's certain things you see and go, okay, yeah, I guess. I mean, I have one. For me, it's just. I mean, I know women complain, too, but when guys complain, like, I just feel like that's. That's kind of old and crotchety. Yeah. That kind of thing. Right, right, right. Yeah. Keep it to yourself. That's right. Yeah. I don't. Yeah. Like the fact that I want to get a lock for my thermostat. Does that mean I'm getting old? Yeah, I would say you're going to get one of those clear panel boxes that goes over it. Oh, yes. And put the little. I think they'd sell those in packs of twos with the giant sunglasses, too. Yeah. And I. Yeah. But I would need that for my new apartment. I'd have to move out. Maybe Frank and I could become roommates. The new odd couple. It's very tough for me when Frank is in on the air with us because I always want to do the one hack thing, which is, what would it be like if Fill in the blank? Right. Did fill in the blank. That is Such a hack equation that I love. I see. That's the thing. I love it. Here's the thing though. It's now it's hip. That is like it used to be in stand up comedy. If I did something like that, people would be like, why do do something original and different? And now the Internet is filled with, what if Seth Rogen worked at Chipotle? I don't know. Just throw some rice in there. Right? Who doesn't love that? Yes, that's the thing. I know. I just love that. White rice or brown rice? Now you gotta choose a meat. You want the smoked ham? We don't even have that, but I've got some in the back. Coming up next on the Bob and Tom show, a 106 year old gets a high school diploma. Wow. It's about time. This is the Bob and Tom Show. She lives in the house right next to me I like to watch her from behind behind the tree she wears a mini skirt when she's cooking meals and vacuums the floor in stiletto heels she may be a mommy but she still looks hot she acts like a lady but I hope she's not I wanna tell her I should be her man I wanna take a ride in a minivan I'm in love he's in love with the MILF next door she's in MILF the MILF next door Give me half, half a chance and I bet I'll score the MILF the milk Next door She's a fantasy I've been searching for I'm in love he's in love with the MILF next door Every Saturday when the kids are gone she works in the yard with a bikini on I open the curtains and take a peek she smiles at me and my knees get weak she walks down the street and she's looking good She's a hit with the daddies in the neighborhood and down at the school all the teachers say she's got the hardest ass in the PTA I'm in love he's in love with the MILF next door she's in MILF the MILF next door Give me half, half a chance and I bet I'll with the mil the MILF next door she's the fantasy I've been searching for I'm in love he's in love with the MILF next door M is for my love is true I is for I'll be with you L is for lots of luck F is for the fun we'll have I'm in love he's in love with the MILF next door she's the MILF with the MILF next door Give me half, half a chance and I bet I'll score with the milf the MILF next door she's the fantasy I've been searching for I'm in love he's in love with the MILF next door I'm in love he's in love with the MILF next door he's in love with the milk next door he's in love with the milk next door he's in love with the milk Next. Hope you're having a great Friday morning. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios here on the Best of the Bob and Tom Show. In this segment, a 106-year-old gets a high school diploma and top hats are discussed. Right now we return to the sports desk here in the Bob and Tom program with Mr. Chicken McGee. Is this a record? Well, by gosh, I'm gonna call it a record if it's not a record. Stupid. World record. 106 year old man from South Carolina has received a high school diploma. Wow. WPD TV station address. Mr. Wait, wait, wait, wait. You're not gonna even give the call letters? No. Why not? Because I don't want you. Go ahead, you can wpde. Mr. Fred Allen Smalls received his diploma from Georgetown High School at a recent ceremony. Small's granddaughter, Ms. Berdilla Kennedy, also a very old woman. So this guy's 106. Good for him. It's great area. Old man. All son. Also old man. Where's he applied to college? He's going to Europe first. Seti taking a gap year. Gap year? That's hilarious. The granddaughter worked hard for more than a year to put it all together, she said. Explained her grandfather attended school. Wait a second. Took him a year. Who's the dick that said, why didn't they go, yeah, let's do this next week? The guy's 106. The clock is ticking. Well, but other people work very hard to have a high school diploma. And just because you've gotten to 106 doesn't mean you get one. This guy worked his whole life, raised a family. So wait a minute, he didn't go back to school to get it, they just sent it to him. You know what? I think you subscribe to Patton Oswalt's theory. He said if you get to the age of 100 in this country, you should be allowed to commit one murder a year. Oh, I didn't know that's what he said. But I'm right. I'm with him. Right. I'd go with 72, frankly. So he didn't go back to school. This was just an honorary diploma. Yeah. She explained her grandfather attended school in Plantersville. In a building in the woods with. Without a name. Well, who cares? What do you mean, who cares? This is a great old. So many people did back then. I think Pat might have a song coming up about this school in the woods with no name. I think that be possible. Oh, God. Is the school in the desert? He completed grades one through five in the woods without a name. And when he was a teenager, Smalls and his buddy Abe moved to Mullen Lincoln. Right. To seek employment in the tobacco industry. There he attended Mullins High School and completed the eighth grade before moving to Washington, D.C. where he worked until retiring in 1960. Tobacco is a cash crop. He retired in 1960. I hope he had great retirement planners. And now he's achieved his. You would have thought maybe he could have gone for the GED back. Back in 1960. Are you going to have enough money to retire and live comfortably for next 70 years? Hate it by the. I have four reverse mortgages. Do people who have a raping me. Do people have a ged? Do they. Do they have like a reunion? They get together once you're. Hey, remember that Saturday we got together and took that test? Yeah, that was cool. Yeah. Remember that guy over there? Yeah. You know what? They don't. You gotta do what you gotta do for them. Yeah. Good. No, I think I'm glad they gave this guy the degree. I'm not. He didn't. I'm not. He didn't earn it. You're right. There it is. The school of hard knocks. No, he didn't deserve it. No, he didn't. And who cares at this point? They probably gave us. He probably doesn't even know what it is. What do I have to do, lady, to get you out of my office? Give my grandfather. Okay, fine. Yeah. Now leave. Hey, Grandpa, got the diploma? Yeah. Look, he's wearing it as a bib. Yeah, he doesn't know. Well, most applesauce. Face it, most high school graduates this year, they can only graduate if they can vape. So this guy is too old school. I'm smoking him, you queer. And also, Tom's at it. Don't forget to sticking it to the youth. Stay off Tom's lawn. Okay? I'm sure the guy's a great guy. How old is he again? 106. I heard that Both presidential candidates may pick this guy as their vp. Now there's. He calls them whippersnapper. Did you hear about this guy's. What is it called? He's doing a senior prank. He is. He's gonna die. Well, he got us. I thought he was taking. Yeah, I think this. Did you see this story about Jimmy Carter? They have announced that for the first time ever, a former president who's still alive will be honored as the official White House Christmas or ornament. What? Yes. They're making this man. They're gonna hang him a tree. You're gonna make him an ornament? That's right. No, it was an ornament that's unveiled. And every year they do a yearly series issued by the White House Historical Association. They're ornaments with his face on them or something. Yes, I see. Well, hang him on the tree. I just know they celebrated. Such as a celebration can be his 99th birthday. And for. He's been in hospice for a year. Yes. Carter's ornament is shaped like an anchor in nod to his Navy servant. But it's the first of the US Presidents to be honored with an official White House Christmas ornament while still living. Oh, by the time Christmas comes. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, I want to put an asterisk on that. But, hey, look, don't blame me. I would never have brought that up. You just. Oh, sorry. I was just speaking it out loud. Actually, I thought that too when I read it. Oh. There are probably people out there that collect all the ornaments. Oh, I'm sure they are. Every year. Poor sad bastards. Sure, sad bastards. I got every ornament in 1973. Why is that sadder than you having. I beg your pardon. 57 years of Redskins crap, I would admit. Yes or no? True or false? Do you own or have you ever owned now or have you ever been the owner of a Washington Redskins or Commanders now with their new name Christmas Ornament? I can tell you I don't have a commander's ornament, but I do have. I think there are Redskins ornament around. I think I have a Joe Theisman ornament around her somewhere. So, yes, the answer is yes. Yes. See, that's cool. Yes. But it's not on a tree. We need an updated Tom ornament. I. It's very ceremonious at our house. Every year you put up the Tom or. Yes, absolutely. Oh, when the break start, I'll write that. I can get. I got an idea for a new one. Yeah, I think oh, good. I think you should do that because it's a ceremony in my house too. Every year I take it home and throw it into the fireplace and watch it shatter and burn. Every year I give away for Christmas I give you guys something with my picture. Every year I pull the ornament out of my ass and put it up on the trip. I wear it all year. No, we really do. It's right there now. All year long, the same photograph every year. The most popular gift of all the ones every ever done. Oh, and what do you base this on? I know what you're going to say. I know what it is. What is it? Dog. The dog bowl. Dog bowl. Everywhere I go, people ask me for my dog. I can't believe it. I have a tom dog bowl. They say. Can I get one of those, please? I would love a tom dog. No, I'm enjoying this. I've never heard two asses speaking simultaneously. I tell you what. You know, I had my dog bow so long it licked the pain off of the center. What a pleasure to meet you. Our dog. Our dog bowls now are a faint outline of your lovely. Our dog bowls now are a faint outline of your lovely. I can get them in metal. Metal. Doing some research now. I've also found I There actually I can get. There is a place that will make a small sculpted insertable things for. But are you talking about butt plugs? Are you gonna. Tom. I need you to know that if Tom Griswold butt plugs. If you make those for us. Let me tell you something. Don't you say something like Tom Griswold butt plugs unless you tend on coming through. I've done the research. You need to know if you give me a butt plug with your face on it, I'm using it. Don't think for a minute it's not going to get used. Oh my gosh. That's the. It's a practical gift. Yes. Okay. Oh, man. Let's see now. I'm sorry, is that sports? No, world records coming up. Okay, well, you know this guy that's 106. Getting his. It's sweet. Of course these things are always the best thing about this. If you see a picture of this guy. Guy, he looks 106. Yeah. He's got a top hat. A year of it. No, I love this. Come here, Josh. He has a top hat. He's got a top hat. He's wearing. What is it called? Not a tux, but morning coat and tails and a white bow tie. Isn't that great. That is great. And this guy's worth his whole life. He deserves. He's not in a cap and gown, for God's sake. That's cool. He's special. Yeah, this is. He's got a top. A big. When's the last time he saw someone on a top hat? It just looks great. Yeah. Good. Classy guy. Good for you, sir. Congrats. Congratulations. Yeah. Classy guy. Where's the top hat? Yeah. Could I pull off a top hat, do you think? Sure. Why not? Yes. Maybe we're here with headphones. If we could get a. I don't know how you're gonna use your headphones around them. But now. Right. Famous top hat wears. Right now the most famous probably is what? Slash probably. Oh, the one alive now. Yeah. Dr. Demento. Yeah, that'd be a good one. For connections, by the way, have Dr. Demento, Abraham Lincoln. Lincoln, slash and Mr. Peanut to try to figure out. Yeah, that's a good one. I bet they use that Right now I want to do a quick quiz. Christie, don't give me that look. By the way, that's a beautiful jacket you're wearing today. Thank you. You know what it looks like? It looks like a jacket of ventriloquist dummy would wear. All right. Here's the thing. Take your hand up my ass. Everyone's right here like it is. It is very nice. The chick's dead on. It has subtle wide vertical stripes. Yes. So it has that kind of circus feel. The chickens. Right. Now we return to the sports desk. Is that correct? I meant another. My favorite world record of the morning. How many times have I said that? Not a lot. 0. An electrical engineering student at Germany has broken the Guinness world record for the fastest fastest modified ride on toy car. I did it. Mr. Marcel Paul @ Fulda University we sing to the praises loud and long. So you go to fu. And the horse you rode in on Folder University and Applied Science earned the record with a souped up rideable toy car that reached a speed of. Of. Anybody want to guess? Okay. I don't know. 92.92.24 miles an hour so he can ride it on the Autobahn. He said he spent 10 months conducting research and modifying the toy car into a record breaking vehicle. He said it was his personal goal to exceed 88 miles per hour because that's how fast the DeLorean went. And back to the. So I was kind of envisioning. I was envisioning one of those Barbie Jeeps. Okay. Modified to go. This thing really Looks like a Go kart. It looks like a go. How much of an original toy car is left? It looks like a Go kart. It even has a Porsche. Like. Yeah, that's different than. Well, it looks like a toy to me. That's the same, but it's just only in that it's very small. That. What, 90? No, that looks like a plastic little race car. Well, it's not the picture I have. Oh, okay. Maybe there's two. Well, I think what you're seeing, it's. We. I have a picture. It just looks bigger in this picture than there. You can see definitely a toy there. Yeah, definitely. That's crazy. The guy's lying down. He looks like he's doing the luge. Yeah. And he's got a thing on his helmet that projects the. He's going so fast. He's got the steering wheel right there by his joint. See that? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Joint. Oh, yeah. Okay, well, steer right there, down by your crank. That's right. Stick shift. Hey, put it by your stick. Yeah, yeah. It's a stick shift. He's got fireproof padding around his nuts. Oh, yeah. Just in case anything goes wrong, steers with his. Is that. Is that sports? Yes, sir. This is what you pardon for wherever you go, whatever you do, Mark, always be a good sport. Christie, a lot of people dealing with the cell phone outage this morning. A lot of phones are coming back slowly but surely. I have no one who loves me, so I don't care about it. Because I love you. I love you, too. My God, let's finally. What the hell is going on? I don't know. I think we're gonna be okay. We're gonna be okay. But that brings up. Apple has warned customers not to put their iPhones in uncooked rice if their devices get wet. That was the standard thing. You get a baggie full of rice, heave the phone in there. The new guidance which dispels a piece of long held conventional wisdom. Is this from the Apple people? I swear I'm going to confess this, Tom. He's always said this. He believes in it, and you've just put him out adrift. He doesn't know what to do. Oh, the Apple people's advice probably is buy a new one. Here we go. Yeah. Just guessing. No, no, that rice thing doesn't work. Not at all. No. Yeah, they need to increase their sales somehow. That's their problem. This is from the Apple people. They say that you should let your phone dry out on its own. The company said Submerging devices in rice can actually damage them. Users are advised to unplug their phones from the power adapter and gently tap on their phone with the charging port facing down to let excess liquid drain from the device. You should then like it peeing. It looks like. Yeah, yeah. When you do that, it looks like a peas. I've got a feeling next week, Apple's gonna be releasing eye rice, the branded special kind of rice. Special rice? Yeah. Do not eat this rice. It's strictly for drying out your phone. They also suggest you leave your phone in a dry area with airflow and avoid using heat, compressed air, or cotton swabs. And they say it could take up to 24 hours for the device to dry completely. Have you ever had to do it? Nope. Oh, I have. You dropped it in a toilet, didn't you? I'm surprised you didn't just get a brand new one. I'm guessing I. I don't think you've really told us how many times you've dropped a phone into a toilet. I'm guessing many. Just the one. I don't believe I've. I'll tell you what. I did it not too long ago and I did a really deft swat. I got. And I got it. So it's mist, right? Oh, it started to fall into the toilet, and then I did like a whack o. Whack in the toilet. Josh, did you use your hand when I lived at home? What'd you say? Christy, did you use your hands? Because he's standing there peeing. He could have. Never mind whack. I'm gonna whack you up there. She's suggesting I. I hit a homer. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Oh, did he use his hands to whack the phone? It's very funny. I still don't care. It's my fault. I know, but am I the only one who. When I'm peeing, my phone is in my pocket? You weirdos. Not even in my. Not even. They don't ever look at my phone. I'm far above it. I'm a slave to my device. I have to look or else I'm nothing. That's right. Or as I like to say, 99 of Americans. If I'm in there for more than one minute, it means I'm doing Wordle. You still call it Wordle? Yeah, yeah. There's kind of a turtle. So anyway, you, sir. Oh, I'm coming for you. It's not. Next up on this Bob and Tom show on a Friday morning, comedian Ian Bag. A couple of segments with Ian are on the way. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Hope you're having a great Friday morning. This is Christopher here in the Bob and Tom Studios. How about one of two segments with comedian Ian Bagg? I am Chick McGee. Here's Tom Griswold with a very special guest. Haven't seen him in a while. He is comedian Ian Bag. And I'm trying to remember the name of the town that you're from. Terrace, British Columbia. Let's get to the point. Why? Why was I blackballed from this show for so many years? You know, if you don't know Ian. Okay, maybe that's the point. No, no, no. I'm oblivious. That's why I was asking. I have the other answer. Oh, you know, you know. Good to see you haven't changed. That's right. What's the name of the town again? Terrace, British Columbia. What population? I think we're up to about 12,000 people. Everybody's pretty good. The big LNG plant has brought people to town. Oh, good. Yeah, Natural gas will be flowing because of my people. Oh, good. Yeah, I'm a fan. Did you get a little taste of that natural gas money? The money? Just a quick huff, thank you very much. Ian is a. Am I correct? I was trying to think of Scorpio. No, amazing. Amazing hockey player. I may be wrong. Are you the one that had the professional hair removal done on your back? Sure did. And my nose and. Yeah, and his eyebrows. Right, and my eyebrows. In the middle. In the middle. Was it expensive? The laser? It wasn't too bad. It wasn't too bad. How much hair was on your back? Oh, enough that you could get it lasered. Enough that. Enough that a Russian woman smiled when I came in the door. So does it hurt? I mean, did you feel heat when they put the laser? It feel like you're getting snapped by a rubber band about 1500 times. Wow. Yeah, it was fun time. Does someone have to sit there steering the thing? Yes. Yeah. It's a lady. No, they just let it go willy nilly. That's like a Roomba. Have you never been to the anesthetician where they do anything to your body, like facial or. You haven't had your sack wax? He didn't notice how far he is from us. He does not like people. He's not going to get close. You don't know this either. He's about this high. He's about this high above the floor, too. No, way. He's right. Yeah. He's got a stage over there. Show business, we like to call it an ivory tower. So. No. So wait a minute. So. So you've got some. Is this laser thing. I'm. I'm all I can think of. I'm envisioning. Oh, it's a wand. I'm envisioning Goldfinger. Oh, geez. Yeah. No, no, Mr. Bond, you're going to die. What a great scene. And it's going right for his nuts. Yeah. Laser. I think you can get that done, too. That's kind of good. I think you can get that clear. Josh Arnold gets that done quite often, or you used to. I was. Yeah. I was getting waxed, though. Not the lasering of it. Your. Yeah. Everything down there, they can do that. Really? Yeah. Ladies get their pubic hair lasered off. I know. Does it ever. Does it ever grow back or is that it? It's done. It's over. It's like Christmas every day. Yeah. Is there a. Is there the smell of burning hair? Yes, you can smell a little bit. Wow. But I was on drugs. Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, no, you get. Yeah. Of course. You take a Tylenol tie in an extra strength. Not enough. I didn't want to say Tyler and all three. I didn't meet a bunch of people at the door. Yeah, yeah. Getting those. They're legal in Canada now. So how long did it take to do the back? It just. It was like. It was about 30 minutes or something like that. Oh, really? For your whole back? Yeah. You did, But I had to do it, like, 10 times. Yeah. Multiple sessions. Oh, wait a minute. Tylenol 3 is illegal in Canada. Legal. Yeah. I've got to move there. Yeah. Have you not seen what's going on in Canada? Definitely on tying all three up there. Oh, yeah. Kraft peanut butter. It's crazy up there. Craft peanut butter. Yeah. That's nuts. And our cheese whiz is different, so. So they did. They. And they lasered the. The eyebrow thing because you had the connection. No, I didn't have that laser. I didn't trust them with that. A friend of mine, he had his. His. His face. He had his hair lasered, and the lady stopped a little and she burnt a hole in his cheek. Brody Stevens. No kidding. Yeah, I remember. I was like, what happened? I was like, what? You had. How did she just stop? Because she just stopped and it just kept going in the same place. I'm like, oh, there's a thing right now on the Internet. I don't have the story in front of me about people that want to give themselves a dimple. Oh, dimple. Blasty. I saw that. Have you seen this? What do they do? I'll give yourself a dimple on the chin. Wherever. Wherever. I mean, I guess. I don't know if you can do it in the bus or. I'm not sure how it's done. Those two dimples above the butt that. Oh, I see. I ever see. You know what I see in the airport every so often? The fake butt cheeks. And that's really noticeable. It's really noticeable that a hundred pound girl has the butt of a 300 pound girl. So bizarre. It's like, what are they doing with those? Like what? I don't know. It's all right, I think. God bless you. You gotta do whatever you gotta do, but at the same time, get it together, people. Ian Bagg is our guest, Mr. Bag. I like the way he said that. So the letters would be written to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. And it's bag with two GS. Yes. Is that short for something Baggage, which you bring a lot of to any situation. Yes, yes. How's your personal life? Can we ask about it? Yeah, sure. What do you want to know? I don't know what's happening. I've got the wife and I've got three dogs. Now. My wife found a homeless dog on the beach in front of our house. Wait a minute, hold it. Three dogs. Run them down. What kind? We got, Lou? Half German shepherd, half pit bull mix. Okay. Afraid of the wind. I got a scared dog too. But at the same time, here's a dog walking by and must leap from the bed in the back room and run with hair up to tell them you can't walk by her. Right. Oh, yeah. But we go outside and. What was that? And then we got Mini Pearl, French bulldog. She decided she was she. We had to have her eardrum removed not too long ago. So they took her eardrum and her ear canal out and sealed the ear hasn't changed her a bit, so who knows how long she's been deaf. Yeah. And then we have Dr. Henry Wong. Sure. Yes, Dr. Wong is one. Yeah, he is. I don't know what he is. He's just like this furry little, I don't know, Shih Tzu. Just a mutt. He looks on Rick and Morty. There was a dog that took over the world. He looks exactly like that. The underbite kind of thing. A little bit of an underbite. And he's hung like A bull moose. When we found my wife, honestly thought he had five legs. And. Yeah, I can show you guys pictures during the break. I can't show them to the radio people, but, yeah, he's very impressed. Wonderful. And he's probably about. He's probably about. He's anywhere between 10 and 12 and went from the streets to now demanding what he wants to eat. It's very bizarre. And we'll take his food out of the dish and put it on the ground because it isn't up to his satisfaction. And then you'll see him gnawing on a paper towel. I'm like, pick a side, buddy. God. I know that I live the same life. Do you live on beach? Yeah, we live on the beach. We live in Long Beach, California, and. Sounds like it's a long beach. It's a very long beach. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fantastic. And it's so long that people can't get to the end. No, no. Nobody's ever done it. Nobody's ever done it. And that's why the dog lives there. Good to know. We have Christy Lee at the Bobatom news desk. Would you care to read a news story for Mr. Bag? Yeah. Have you heard about cozy cardio? No. Sounds fantastic. The latest exercise trend, my friends, comes to us from TikTok, the new workout. I hope it involves laying somewhere. It says cozy. Right? The new workout regimen, rather taking hold on the social media app, simply involves walking in place in the comfort of your home using a mini treadmill. Oh, one of those things. The idea gained traction after a woman named Hope Zuckerbrough began posting videos about her cozy cardio setup, which involves wearing comfortable clothing, lighting candles, setting mood lighting, making a protein drink, and using a walking pad that faces her TV with a favorite show playing. The aim is not to push herself, but to get off the couch simply and get your steps in. When you can burn 2 calories an hour. This is like sitting and watching TV. You're just walking slowly. It's better than sitting and watching tv. Barely. Ace, you kind of do this, right? You'll kind of watch TV and stand and walk around. Stand as a treadmill became the couch. Yeah, the. There you go. You have a stand on the treadmill or do you walk on it? Both, actually. Yeah. You have your treadmill behind the couch, though, so you can see the tv. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. I like. I like your style. Now, Josh likes to. You like to do this and lift Twinkies as weights? Sure. Yeah. Do curls. Oh, yeah. Overweight. Oh, I thought he was talking about young men. No, no. Oh, listen. Lift the old Twinkie. Yeah, Milk the Twinkie. We're coming. Coming right back on this Friday morning. The Electric Amish and news we failed to mention are on the way. But more with Ian Bagg is next. Stand by, this is the Bob and Tom Show. This is the Bob and Tom show on a Friday morning. Welcome back. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. We did some Ian Bagg just a little while ago. How about some more comedian Ian Bag on the Bob and Tom Show? Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Getting ready for that weekend. Friday starts. The weekend. Tom. We got breaking news, kids. What? Breaking news. Breaking news. What's that? Buxitani Phil. Oh, we all know who Buxitani Phil is. The renowned groundhog has predicted he's dead, right? They shot him. Oh, no. This is awful news. Yeah, it's like that's Liberty Valley. That's exactly right. Phil has said it is an early spring this year. We're about to warm up. Yeah, I know. It's this groundhog doesn't know what he's doing. Yeah, you don't know. Could we just be positive for one moment? I'm positive this thing doesn't know what it's doing. Yeah, I think we should go there. Old fashioned way of telling things, broadcasting. Send me there, I'll go there. Oh, really? Psitawney, Pennsylvania, to Nobler's Gob. No, it's Gobbler's Knob. Nobler's Gob is the weekend that certain people are planning. I don't know what you got a drop button doing, but I'm intrigued. Hobbler's Gob. Nobbler's Gobbler's Gobble. And he's got buck teeth. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. The Nobbler's Gob would be. I think Gobbler's Knob is bad. More suggestive. That was a group in high school. I'm gonna gobble that knob. Ever had that done with Brace? Let's see. Where. What was I saying? Oh, I know. We have a guest in the studio. He is comedian Ian Bagg. He's hanging out with us. And now, black, bald, five years. Well, keep it up, mister. Maybe another five, you know. You know, speaking of black balls. More of a mocha, really. I think Groundhog Day is big here. Even bigger in France. Really? What? You know, what does the groundhog see when they wake him up in the morning? What? His chateau. Oh, the groundhog saw his chateau. Now there is six more weeks. Yeah. Yeah. Evidently, he defecated on it. Chateau. That's what I got out of house. You got it. On his feet. Nice house. I'm sorry, Christy, you were saying? Ace Cosby joke of the day, brought to you by sleep number. That's right. Save 50% during the president's Day sale on a limited edition smart bed only at a sleep number store or sleep number dot com. Love my sleep number bed. Thank you very much, Chris Dealey. Ian Bagg is our guest. Ian, can I ask a question before we go any further? Sure. What is it with presidents and beds and sales? I don't know. Yeah, that's a big thing. That is a great question. Is there something that I don't know? Because I'm about to become an American, and it might be on the test, and I need to know. You raise a good point. They don't do this in Canada. They don't. Prime Minister sale. We don't sell anything. Do you have a Prime Minister day? Every day is a Prime Minister day. Every day he pushes his way into our lives. That's what he says. You've been living in the United States for a long time. Are you an American? Officially? I'm about to be. I'm about to be kids. You can't stop me. I'm taking the test. Well, welcome, Ian. Congratulations. I thought you got in because you're wife, Right? She opened the door. Come on. Is that a hard test? Yeah. Yes, apparently not. That's what everybody tells me, but they make it sound like it is everybody that I know that say. I think, I think they've given that test to real. To Americans who are born and raised here, and we can't pass it. You were going to say real Americans. Thank you. Thank you, Christy. Not the fake ones like Ian B. Imposter. American. Welcome to America. You weren't. You know, they won't. They won't. They won't bury you here. You know they won't. What? What? Oh, that's right. Yeah. Oh, you become a naturalized citizen. They have to ship you back. You didn't. That's right. Oh, they'll take your taxes, but they won't take your body. No, no, no. You gotta. I gotta ship them home. Not gonna dirty up our soil, boy. That's right. Do you get a tax credit if you take the test? I, I don't know. I, I, I, I, I think all of it, I think I get. I don't know what I get. Okay. I. What? I get what I get. Social Security at some point. Ah, yes, theoretically. And my wife said, you've paid so much, you get that, you get that paperwork filled out. And I'm just like, okay, okay, I love you. Now, let's see. Where were we? Oh, I know. We were talking to Christie Lee at the news desk. What happened? A monkey has been recaptured after going missing in the Scottish Highlands for over five days. According to the BBC, the seven year old male Japanese Mc Macaque named. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Can you say Mac? Say Mac with a Scottish accent. I can't do that. Yeah. Can't find. Can't find Mac. You can take our lives, but you'll never take Mac. You can have Mac. When you pry it out of my cold, dead hands. You escape from the Highland Wildlife park at King Craig. Stephanie Bunyan, who lives nearby, barely can walk. Stephanie Bunion. That's really, really Paul. Paul's sister. She lives nearby. Spotted the primate helping himself to a bird feeder in her yard. How's it going? And contacted the Royal Zoological Society of Scotland. Knowing a monkey, that bird feeder is probably now full of monkey seed. Oh, man. The drone team observed the animal until. Monkey seed or monkey doo doo. Those monkeys, the cats aren't known for doing that. A drone team observed the animal till it was shot with a tranquilizer dart and taken back to the park. All right. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Monkeys are awful. They bite. They are not awful. They poop. They throw. If you get enough of them on a typewriter, Tom, you'll get a book. Completely unreadable. You got a book? I've seen it. Old movie. Unless you can speak monkey. Speak and read monkey. But other than that. A Brazilian woman facing charges after completely b. Oh, we got it. She's an American woman, but we described her. Brazilian woman. Yeah. Is facing charges with police at Bogota after find after they found 130 poison dart frogs in her luggage. What is going on here? I don't know. The animals which were dehydrated and struck were discovered in small film canisters. Oh. Local police said the amphibians can catch up to a thou. Can fetch up to a thousand dollars each on the sellable market for people wanting to buy a poison dart frog. Oh, people want to buy all kinds of crazy stuff. It's just that wouldn't the film canisters give it away? In as much as nobody uses film, nobody uses film anymore. Harlequin frogs, also known as poison dart frogs, measure less than the size of a human thumb. Oh. Their skin glands produce a Highly toxic poison, though, which has in the past been used by indigenous people to coat the lips of darts that they use for hunting. By the way, harlequin frogs are an incredibly critically endangered species. So slutty harlequins. Those harlequins soft course. They'll kill you, right? No, they're a romance Noddle. That'll read you to be. Yeah, they're super dangerous. Yes. Will they kill a man if you hold one? I don't know. I don't know if it'll kill a man. This isn't the same stuff that. This isn't the stuff that they make that what that hallucinogenic from that. We wrong frog people were licking one. They were licking the toes. Get your frogs right. Come on. Okay. I told you so racist. So who was it? Who am I thinking about? Aaron Rogers. Wasn't he licking the toads or something? Was. Oh, that's ayahuasca again. Ayahuasca. That's where I went to camp. Camp Ayahuasca. Yeah, we'd do hallucinogens and vomit. Speaking of animals, researchers say a live newborn great white shark was spotted in the wild for the very first time. It's brand new, of course. It was just spotted for the first time. Oh, good point. You just got the look for me and I very rarely give that to you. What? I liked it. Did you? Wildlife filmmaker Carlos Guana and uc. Hey, bat crap. There comes old bat crap. And UC Riverside biology doctoral student Philip Stearns were scanning the waters near Santa Barbara when they captured footage of a white 5 foot long shark pup. Stern said, we enlarged the images, put them in slow motion and realized the white layer was being shed from the body as it was swimming. I believe it was a newborn great white shedding its embryonic layer. Wow, that's pretty cool. He added, in my opinion, this one was likely hours, maybe one day old at most. That discovery was documented in a paper published in the journal Environmental Biology of Fishes. I'm sure you guys, they quickly killed it so they could study it in the lab. They did not. Oh, I do have a question about your skill. The guy was from UC Riverside, which is inland. That's not who you want studying your oceans. That's right. They let him leave. They let him leave campus. You want him at UC San Diego? Yeah, I want him. I want him on the coast. Did you say he was five feet long? The pup was. It's a baby shark. Yes. How big had the mother have to be? Well, they're pretty big. Great white sharks 12 to 20ft. Gwana said where white sharks give birth is one of the holy grails of shark science. No one's ever been able to pinpoint where the babies are born. No one's ever seen a newborn baby shark alive. That's crazy. Yeah. How have they not? I don't know. They live in the ocean. Cool. That's why it's big. Want to hear the song? No. Okay. Sorry, I couldn't resist. God, that's awful. Okay. How many times did you hear that in your life? Oh, it's. It's. Unfortunately, that's over now. Today is Groundhog Day and you just announced pux of Tony. Phil. What was it again? Saw the shadow or what is it? Did not see the shadow. So early spring. Yeah, I'll remember that in April 11th when it's 10 degrees up. Yeah, now. And you remember in the movie Chris, have you. Have you seen the movie Round Hook Day? I have. Remember this? This is the alarm clock every morning. Yes. Great. Sunny and Sher tune. Sunny. We're in the fur fest. Oh, yeah. Well, I don't know. You want to wait for the sheriff part? Cher sang first. Yeah. God, I can't tell. They make Cher sing flat so Sonny doesn't seem so flat. Yeah, Sonny, but, you know, he had a restaurant down the street from my house, and I prefer if you guys would talk very nicely about him. Oh, really? Good place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was called Bone Out. It's now called Knicks on Second, and it's fantastic. Go there for a drink on a Sunday after work. It was called Bonos. Bonos? Yep. Ah, Sunny Bono. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Sunny Bono. Okay. All right. As opposed to when people. Not Bono from you? No, a different guy, different person. That'd be great if it was. It was Sunny. Oh, was it the same person? Maybe the you. The YouTube guy comes out with a fur vest on and they do a version of I got you, babe for the Sonny Bono in the sphere. Oh, man, that'd be funny. Christy Lee, what's coming up? Coming up. We have time to do this. Okay, go ahead. A Tennessee lawmaker hoping to make so called hot slaw an official state food. According to the Memphis Flyer, legislation supporting the idea has advanced in a House committee of the Tennessee General Assembly. A companion bill would make Cleveland, Tennessee, the hot slaw capital of the state. Is it coleslaw? But spicy? You're very, very much correct, by the way. By the way, I'd like to point something out. A chick recently pointed out that he was a grown ass. Man before he realized that in the movie the wizard of Oz that the black and white parts, those were the guys that later on showed up as the wizard, etc. Etc. And you know, the lady in the bicycle, the scarecrow and the lion and the tin Man. I'm lost. I farm hands. I just wanted these things you find out as adult. What did you find out as an adult? I thought it was cold slaw. No. How do you have a show that uses words I don't know? Coming up in just a couple of minutes, Jeff Os is in studio with news we failed to mention. Be here for that. It's next on the Bob and Tom show. Bob and Tom. More of the Bob and Tom show on a Friday morning. This is Christopher speaking. Hope you're having a nice morning. So Jeff Osque is in studio in this segment with news we failed to mention. Here's Tom. Well, thank you very much. I believe we're going to look at the big screen. And there we go. It's a special edition of Jeff Osque and news we failed to mention here in the Bob and Tom program. Jeffrey. Good morning, sir. Hey, thanks for having me, Thomas. We're doing a little early today. Oh, I'm excited. We have a new sponsor this week at the failed Dimension news desk. Our new sponsor is Ed Septic. Septic, sewage and plumbing. You have your choice of any plumbers, so why not pick one that won't have sex with your wife while you're at work? That's Ed Septic, Septic, sewage and plumbing. Yeah, they'll bang your pipes, but they'll never bang your wife. And that's a guarantee from old Ed. Oh, that's nice. All right, now let's get this started. Now here's Jeff Aske with what you failed to mention. Nose. Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. A 73 year old man set a new world record for being the oldest man to swim the legendary I smile. Well, you failed to mention. The man said he could care less about the record. He just wanted the feeling of having a tight scrode. Once again, the water's cold. You see a tight screw. Chili water. There's a new. There's a new. Let's see. Oh man, I should learn how to use this thing. Oh, there's a new hot wings hot seltzer Alcohol, alcoholic drink. What you failed to mention. Hey, I'm a fat drunk. What do you have for me? Well, sir, have you tried our new hot wings hot seltzer? Sold little platelets, An Amish man's horse and buggy were stolen while he was shopping at Walmart. Well, you failed to mention. So they aren't cool with cars, but you can shop at Walmart. Do they know how the products got there? A new study says sex gets better with age. What? You failed to mention. Absent from the study. Jeffrey Epstein and Prince Andrew. Didn't ask. Those fellows today. Did not. A snowboarder got stuck in a gondola overnight and almost froze to death after the worker shut off the lift and went home for the night. Well, you failed to mention. Hey, lady, enjoy your free lifetime lift ticket. Yeah, the lawyers will be calling. You see a circus truck carrying animals caught on fire on an Indiana highway? What? You failed to mention it didn't help matters when the circus is. Clowns tried putting out the fire that they used a bucket that contained only confetti instead of water. It almost fed the fire. Really? Hey, I'm so glad I didn't do this while Ian was here. A couple is fighting over their baby's new name. Well, you failed to mention that's gonna happen when one of you wants to name your baby Ivor. That joke would have flown great two years ago. Hey, maybe I wrote it two years ago and I just. I'm getting casual. It still works, by the way. Ivermectin is just rectally. You have to apply it in case you're okay getting the cold suppository. Ivermectin available pharmacy near you. Oh, if you like that one, you're really going love this one. All right. They think they may have found Amelia Earhart's plane. What? You failed to mention. Rumor is two dudes just found Buddy Holly's burn up Les Paul in a field in Iowa. Oh, Jesus. Well, that's sad really, isn't it? Is the guitar still playable? Nope. He played a Strat, didn't he? Yeah. Sorry. Actually, I looked it up. It said Les Paul. Good for you. Really? Because I. I knew you would call me Jeff. Jeff does his research. I spend minutes preparing this. This is a dangerous room. You're not using cards anymore. You got a teleprompter. I love it. That's right, Chris. I like the laid back style. Taking it to a whole new level. I think he's leaning back because he's trying to figure out how to get the thing to scroll. So these pauses are. Here it comes. We had a pizza and circumcision mix up in the news this week. Failed to mention. It's the pizza place where men are forced to always leave the tip that's good. You know what I like to hear from my audience instead of laughter? Someone saying, that's good. Nice one there, buddy. See, the implication is the foreskin tip has been sliced off. Oh, my gosh. You leave that for the server? Yeah, spell that out. They never would have figured it out. No. Thank God you're here. The thing I love about Tom is he knows our audience is intelligent and he plays to it. That's right, jerk. You know, there's. There's. By the way, when they. If they take off the tip, there's extra cheese. Oh, boy. That's. If they don't take off the tip. Right. And finally. Are you uncircumcised? No, I got. I'm. I am. My son. Really? Yep. How'd that happen? I just had him not cut it. Did you. Who's. Whose decision was that? Was that yours? Oh, I should have just said yes. You really, really should have. Was there an argument with the lady friend? No, it was up to me. I'm the man. I get to pick. And what happens to my guy? If it had been a. If you'd had a daughter, she could have picked, right? Whatever they're doing. Here's. Here's. Here's my thing. If my son wants it, I'll happily pay for the surgery now. Yeah, whenever. Whenever. Oh, I don't know. As Bob used to say, I had it done and I couldn't walk for two years. Of course, I was four days old. Yes, of course. And enough about my son's penis. And back to the news. U.S. syphilis numbers. And finally, thank goodness, U.S. syphilis numbers have risen to their highest point since 1950. What? You failed to mention. Damn, I put all my money in Bitcoin. I've been. Jeff Hoskin. This has been the news that we. What you failed to mention. Failed to mention Jeff Austin. Thank you. Thank you, Jeff. Very good, Very good. Yeah, those syphilis numbers. Yeah, boy, they're off the charts. We have Chick McGee at the Batov sports desk. If Taylor Swift is jetting from her upcoming concert in Tokyo to Las Vegas this week, from today, give or take a day, to see Travis Kelsey, she'd better already have a place to park her plane. According to officials at Harry Reid International Airport and the fa. That's the faa. Yeah, they say space for aircraft parking in and around Las Vegas is already spoken for. Four airports in the area have a combined 475 parking spots for private. Plus, by comparison, the Phoenix area where the super bowl was played in 2023 has 1100. Those are all sold out as well. Pilots flying into Vegas still might be able to drop the passengers off and park at other airports in the region. That's what they're hoping for. Between the casinos and the mountains, there's about 20 miles of Runway in any direction. Yeah, that's true. According to the Post. Washington Post, not New York Post. If Swift flew from Tokyo to Vegas to Melbourne in her Dassault Falcon 900 jet. Oh, nice. The roughly 29 hour trip might burn about 8,800 gallons of fuel and create about 90 tons of carbon emissions, but whatever. Yeah, so thus, that is more than all the carbon emissions that six average Americans will produce this year. Well, Taylor, just tell your fans to plant a tree. That'll be fine. Swift's publicist has said she buys carbon offsets to compensate for her jet travel. Oh, okay. Yeah, okay. Well, you know, I think it's fine. All half the. All of the owners are, I'm sure, are flying in private jets. Can't they just touch down, have Taylor get off and fly it somewhere else for whatever, 24 hours? Yeah, they go, what, could they fly over to LA and wait for her and come back and pick her up and. They'll come back. Yeah, I mean, she'll have to play. They won't have to park it. She have to pay for the gas and probably tip the pilot a little something extra. Damn, Daddy can't afford it. Taylor's getting a spot. It's the person who reserved the spot right now that's gonna have to park in la. Reserved it three years ago. Honey, you're not gonna believe this. T. Taylor Swift kicked us out of our private spot. Maybe the commissioner may. It's. It's like good concerts where the bands always hold. Yeah, 20. Yeah, yeah, maybe the commissioner's holding a few things now. Those climate activists were going to protest, but it's going to take them too long to walk to Vegas to make their signs. No, they'll be, they'll be upset when they found out the football is made of pig scrotums. How about that? Is the football still made out of the sacred of a pig? Ah, I think it's pig skin, but I don't think it is. I think some of them are horsey. 90% growth. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know, the jet fuel is made of baby seal blood. That's okay. I. I would still take a private jet. That's fine with me. Absolutely fine. Stupid world record. A British man reports that police mistook him for a thief. After they saw him running with a refrigerator on his back. Geez. Everybody got this? Yes. The BBC reports that Daniel Fairbrother was stopped by officers in Steven N. Steve N. While practicing for the London Marathon. He said police officers quickly realized he was not stealing anything and the encounter ended with them shaking my hand. That a nice story. You see a guy running down the street with a refrigerator on his back. I mean, what are you gonna think? For those of you stealing it? For those of you listening to the Bob Tom show for quite a long time or just, just enjoy our show and want to pick up little nuances. When Tom says something like, well, that's a great story, or wow, that's very interesting, or wow, that's fascinating, that means he came up with the story. I can only imagine if. If you had just read that. Oh, no. Do you want to know why? Sitting over here being bored. This has. Because you love stories from the UK that have the names of towns. I thought you would love the name Fair Brother and the place called Stevenage. Fair Brother is his last name. And Stephen. Stephenage or Stevenage is the name of the little town. You know where that's near, don't you? Badgers Cleft. Yeah, Badgers Cleft, which is right near Snatchers. Snatchers. Snatchers. Snatchers Drift. I think it's Badgers drift and snatchers. Mr. Fred Brother has been running with a refrigerator strapped to his back in hopes of raising money for a diabetes related charity. Isn't that nice with his marathon. Ironically, by the way, the refrigerator is full of Red Bull, high in sugar, and such a fan of cool runnings as this could get any more muddled. The Doug E. Doug vehicle. Yep. What? Fair Brother has named the refrigerator Tallulah after the Bob Slay movie. Sure. And some pretentious prick. Yeah. Insisted on typing Bob Slay. Bob Slay instead of Bob Sled. Technically he's correct. That's the BBC. But you don't want to spend any time with this. When the cops saw. So the cops see a guy, they think he's stealing a refrigerator. Right? That's what you would think. Name. There he is Named. You know what they yelled? Freezer or I'll shoot. That's what they yelled. It's a dorm fridge. About everything. Every picture I've ever seen of the UK and London, it makes me automatically want to run there and live. Except for this one. That looks like a bad apartment complex. Yeah. Outside of Windsor. Probably not a lot of greenery in that shot. No, no. Chelsea. It is kind of a Mini fridge. They. They really kind of are overdoing it. Door, Dorm fridge. Yeah. Yeah. Well, so you. Do you think you could run with a refrigerator on your back? I couldn't run at all anymore. My knees are shot. I can ski with that little thing on my back. Those vests where you put the plates, the weight plates in those are pricey. So maybe if you have a dorm fridge laying around. What if anybody called the guy's house and said, is your refrigerator running? You know that old classic. Well, you better go catch it. I used to love that one. That is a good job. Yeah. Prince Albert in the can? No. Is Jim Walls there? Is Bob Walls there are any walls there? No. What's holding the house up? There you go. Calling the bowling alleens. Do you have 10 pound balls? We sure do. How do you ride a bike? Oh, yeah, yeah. Love it. Man, oh, man. 10. I've never weighed him, but maybe close to that. I don't know. Another one. A man in Iowa. Listen up, Ace. A man in Iowa attempting to break the Guinness World Record for the most amplifiers played at the same time, according to Iowa Public Radio. Mr. John Locker, owner of Gig Day Backline. Oh, this is like a gear for concerts and stuff. Chorus amplifiers, you know. He'll try to beat the current record of 50 by connecting a total of 80amps. Oh, so he hasn't done it yet. He plans to use a beat. This is so good. We're doing a preview. Tom. Yes. Will you tell her to hold it down? Isn't this what Marty McFly did in the beginning of Back to the Future? Doesn't he just. He tried to hook them all up and. And then the alarm clock went off, like 17 minutes off. And the experiment worked. I just remember it blew him. Whoa. Anyway, Mr. Locker plans to use a built bass B I L T with a whammy bar for the attempt. Cool. Either doing five minutes of Famous Baselines. All original baselines. I cannot wait for the audio. Or a combination. What's the most famous bass line, Ace? What do you think? Purple Machine? Barney Miller. Yeah. I don't know. What? Yeah. Famous Baseline. That's a good. I don't know. Oh, he's got to do these Boots are Made for Walking. That's good. He's got to do some Primus. Will you rock a while, please? True Carol K. Probably responsible for something less Claypool. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That was it. Sounds like fun. 100amps up there. Do you remember? Because a lot of the bands now, sometimes the amps on Stage are fake. Really? Sometimes they'll have a little amp with a mic in front of it and then. Who was it? Rush? Remember that they had. They put clothes dryers up there. They had joke washer dryers. The crew would go out and put laundry in and out. Gotcha. Hilarious. Chickens went to her. Yeah, that was really. That's. That's kind of fun. That's pretty funny. That's awkward. The days of the giant stacked amps like the day used to go out with really are kind of done. And by the way, I know sometimes we've been known to drop the ball, but listen to me. This attempt of the most amplifiers hooked together is coming up February 25th. Can we keep track of this date so we can check and see how this. I'll put it in my phone. Where's this happening? It's happening at the Val Air Ballroom in Iowa. Send me. That's. That's on a Sunday. Let me go watch. Yeah. So on the 26th Godwin, I will drive out. Yeah, that'd be fun. Yeah. Real, real fast. You can get there. What an afternoon. The way you drive. Oh, yeah. Say that I drive fast. We've got one more sentence to the amplifier. There's more. Des Moines guitar player James Bien will be on hand that day and will be playing and hosting a pseudo jam. Nice. After the world record record attempts and Des Moines. Oh, man. Maybe some Slipknot guys will show up. All right, I put it in my phone. So we check on it Monday the 26th. All right. With audio. With audio. I'm not sure I wanted. Maybe we could vote on what baseline he should play. I would love that. Jimmy Pardo plays when he's. Oh, red bone coming. That was a good one. I would love to attend this. If they want to pay me. That would be great. Okay. What's your fee? $10,000. Oh, that's a workable fee. That's workable. You're coming down for them. That's right. Yeah. Well, I get. I smell a charity on this. Coming up, we have what not to do to enlarge the male member according to physicians. What about pulling on it does that. Well, that's kind of over time. Yeah. Also, what's hot slaw the last time you pulled. We're going to find out about that. I bet you like to pull on yours. Right? Right after the show every day, don't you? Just give your. Your potty yank lock that you go down there. I'm going to take a nap. How about cozy cardio? Baby deserves this baby deserves. I'm going to go on the live cam. You did good, Tom. I tried to change the subject. There we go. That's. This would be a good bear slang pain. Hey, hey, hey. Who's your daddy? What? We're coming right back. We're coming right back to wrap things up with the Electric Amish live in studio. It's next here on the Bob and Tom show. And we're wrapping things up here on a Friday morning. Best of the Bob and Tom show. This is Christopher speaking. We have a segment to wrap things up here with the Electric Amish. That was. Oh. Ladies and gentlemen, we're back on the Bomb and Tom show. And that band you're hearing it is the electric homage live. Live in our house band Baby Chick was Spencer Davis two men and that's their last name. Or is it one man and that's his first name? I don't. I don't know. I don't think it was anybody in the band. Was it Steve Winwood was the guy that wrote and sang this song when he was 16. 16. But there was no Spencer and. Or Davis. There was a Spencer. Was there a muff? Muff Was a Muff. Winwood? Yeah. Steve's brother, right? I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah. Oh, muff. Not mutt like mutt Language. Okay. Muff like jiner. Like you ain't seen nothing till you're down on muff. Jiner. Really? Yeah. Steve Winwood. Muff Winwood. Peter York and Spencer Davis. There you go. There he is. That wasn't Spencer Davis. That was the Electric Amish on tour. Ladies and gentlemen, the Amish. It's an extensive tour starting in Logansport at the State Theater, Saturday, March 23rd. And then. Then, yeah, August 10th, we're gonna be all the way over there in. In Metamora, Indiana. You ever been to Metamora? I have not. It's the land of 10,000 lakes. Oh, who knew? Is that right? I'm not sure that it is right, but come find out. Thought you were gonna say 10,000 buggies. They do get skers pretty bad that time of year. Buggies? No. We have time for a couple songs, fellas. What do you feel like playing? Well, what we feel like playing is a little bit of rock and roll for you. This is Amish rock and roll. So it might not be the kind you're used to, but this here is a song about having the blues. You like the blues? Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah. The blues ain't nothing but the truth. That's right. Here's a little song. Oh, yeah. I'm gonna drive a car and I'm gonna watch some tv. And I don't give a damn if my Amish friends see me. I won't talk to the Parsons. Cause I know what he'll say. Take off those shiny buttons. Get on your knees and pray. Doing all those things I ain't supposed to do. But there ain't no cure for the Mennonite blues. My mom and papa told me to chop some wood for grandma. It would have taken me all day if I hadn't used a chainsaw. Well, the congregation caught me and I heard them yell. He's using power tools. He was surely burned in hell. Why the black coat, black hat, black su. There ain't no cure for Domini blues. Hey, Graver. Yeah, Carl. Make with their key change. Okay. Oh, that's nice. Thanks. G flat. Some men at night. Village just a couple counties over. If I leave next Tuesday, I can make it by October. When I talk to this man and guy Guy who said hell, I got three TVs and God never struck me dead. Now I'm watching Jerry Springer and TMZ 2. Cause there ain't no cure for the men and I boo. Yes, sir, the Electric Amish and the Mennonite blues here in the Bob and Tom program. Fellas, we have time for one more if you guys want to do a little something over there. Yeah, Two for Tuesday it is. Two for Tuesday. That's a good idea. Oh, that's got a nice ring to it. All these days look the same to us, man. Oh, yeah, yeah. We're gonna. We're gonna tune down to D. If you're playing at home, you're gonna want to tune down to D for this one. Okay. This is Christy. Yes, sir. We'll dedicate this to you. Oh. On account of we. We know that you're not exactly a straight ahead Amish girl. No, no. You're what we refer to as a black bonnet girl. Oh. You know what I'm saying. You know what I'm talking. Talking about. Pick it up. 2, 3, 4. Oh, you going to paint that barn tonight. O Down beside the lantern light. Oh, you going to finish all your chores. Black bonnet girls, you make the Amish world go round. I was just an Amish boy Full of purity and joy. Dang well denied. Alone with cousin Greta. What a naughty babysitter he. Then you made a Mennonite out of me. Yeah, yeah. I know girls who never curse chicks who know their Bible verse. Every one of them Wore a dress down to the floor Though their chastity and charm Made them quite pleasant on the farm they nothing like a good old Amish poor Oh, you going to break that barn tonight oh, down beside the lantern light oh, you gonna finish all your choice Black bonnie girls you make matter I'll make sure we'll go round y'all Black bonnet girls you make I'll make sure I'll go round. Hey, Graeber. Yeah, Carl? Do you know the difference between Gretel and my buggy? What's that? Well, not everybody's been in my buggy I've been on my knees all day All I do is sit and pray Thought it's all the Lord I can't really tell But I knew from the beginning with this lust and all this sinning I probably surely burn in hell now dig this. Oh, you gonna paint that barn tonight hold down beside the leather line oh, you don't finish all your chores like my girls you make the unexpected girls you make the. I make sure I get on your buggies and ride like bunny and girls. Man, that Greta is built like a brick out house. As long as I've got a few, she's got a place to sit, y'all. She could churn my butter anytime. Your ankles hot. Hot. Ladies and gentlemen, the Electric Amish. Thank you, fellas. Thank you so much. Thank you for letting us come on here so we're bound to burn in hell, Tom. All right, back up your. Back up your buggy. This is the Bob and Tom Show. 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