The BOB & TOM Show - October 10, 2025

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show — October 10, 2025

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Overview

This episode of The BOB & TOM Show brings the crew together for their signature blend of comedy, banter, and oddball news. Broadcasting from the O’Reilly Auto Parts Studios, Bob Kevoian and Tom Griswold, along with Jess Hooker, Jeff Oskay, and others, dive into nostalgic Halloween candy, peculiar body modifications, odd folk remedies, and pop culture debates. With playful teasing and audience letters, the episode keeps things lighthearted, weaving in listener engagement, guest appearances (including Willie G), and, of course, plenty of offbeat laughs.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Spooky Season and Nostalgic Candy (01:40 – 40:58)

• The show opens with a Halloween-themed tale performed by "Mr. Duke" (01:40–05:39).
• Bob and Tom reminisce about “old-school” Halloween treats:
  • Wax bottles, candy cigarettes, and wax lips as trick-or-treat giveaways.
  • Listener letter: Pam from Battleground, Indiana, gives out candy cigarettes, Hot Wheels, and other candy (08:38–09:51).
  • Discussion about Big League Chew (shredded bubblegum marketed like chewing tobacco) and “falsies” (old terminology for bra inserts).
  • Nostalgia for "bad for you" candies like candy cigarettes, candy “chew,” and Chiclets.
  • Tom: “If you hand out wax bottles, also have some Snickers so the kids don’t egg your house.” (39:57)
  • Exchange on the generational shift in what’s considered appropriate candy for kids.

Memorable Quote
Bob Kevoian (regarding “falsies”): "Oh, there was a time when the word falsies meant something else. A better time, I’d say. You could smoke everywhere. Dr. Smoked, because it was good for you." (08:35)

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2. Childhood Rituals: “I Must, I Must, I Must Increase My Bust” (06:10 – 08:38, 64:12)

• Jess demonstrates the chest exercise chant remembered from "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret." by Judy Blume.
• Explains the myth among teenage girls that certain exercises would help increase bust size.
• Dive into slang and products for enhancing one’s appearance in adolescence.

Listener Letter
Nancy writes in:
“We must, we must, we must increase the bust. The bigger the better, the tighter the sweater, the boys are depending on us.” (64:32)

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3. Nostalgia vs. Modern Reality: Candy, Costumes, and Trick-or-Treating (38:16 – 81:09)

• The team debates best and worst trick-or-treat candy:
  • Wax bottles, Necco wafers, Pez, Wonder Bread mini-loaves, full-size candy bars, ring pops.
  • Listeners share memories of unusual treats (mini Wonder Bread loaves, Little Debbie snacks, juice boxes, pantry items).
  • Trick-or-treat strategies: large neighborhoods, changing costumes for extra loot, candy trades with siblings.
  • Some regions required kids to tell a joke at each door—Josh: “Everyone in St. Louis, that’s what you did.” (80:33)

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4. Pop Culture Debate: Wearing Band T-Shirts to the Concert (47:29 – 50:58)

• Bob reads an Esquire article about the “rule” against wearing a band’s T-shirt to their own concert.
• Consensus: It’s fine and no one really cares.
• Jess: “I have a bigger problem with people that listen to the band on the way to the concert. That bothers me.”

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5. Listener Letters: The Court Case Incident and More (20:51 – 21:58)

• A listener’s dashcam audio, submitted in a legal dispute, featured Josh joking about “thumb play” at the exact moment the video was played in court.
• The hosts cackle over being immortalized in legal evidence.

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6. Sports News & The Pickle Juice Phenomenon (41:36 – 45:51)

• New NFL trend: players drinking pickle juice to combat cramps.
• Jess: “I’ve always done it [pickle juice] when I have a hangover.”
• Tom: “When we landscap[ed], if it was a really hot day, we’d all get the pickles from the gas station. It keeps you from cramping.” (42:36)
• Review of Dua Lipa’s viral Diet Coke and pickle juice drink (with jalapeño brine).

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7. Gym Class Memories & Pull-Up World Record (52:13 – 56:16)

• Australian police officer Jade Henderson sets world record for pull-ups (733 in 1 hour).
• Debate over “strict” vs “kipping” pull-ups and nostalgic stories about high school fitness tests.

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8. Tattoos: Regret, Removal, and Wedding Reception Trends (32:18 – 68:08)

• Jeff Oskay details his regrettable tattoos (“skull smoking a joint,” “rose with a snake”), many obtained in less-than-ideal circumstances.
• Discussion on tattoo trends: sorority-style dolphins, tattoo cover-ups, temporary tattoos that never fade, and tattoo artists at wedding receptions.
• Removal of wedding ring tattoos: “It is the most painful.” (68:33)

Memorable Quote
Jess Hooker: “There’s popular at receptions now—wedding receptions—where they’ll have a tattoo artist come in and do tiny tattoos on whoever wants one.” (67:56)

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9. Hybristophilia: The Attraction to Criminals (82:20 – 84:50)

• Jess reports on research connecting TikTok content to women’s attraction to criminals (“hybristophilia”).
• Discussion of Ted Bundy, the Menendez brothers, and the “I can fix him” trope.
• Social media’s role in romanticizing criminals.

Memorable Quote
Jess Hooker: “Women [on TikTok] minimize the severity of crimes committed by individuals who are considered conventionally attractive.” (83:12)

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10. Folk Remedies and Bizarre Medical Practices (91:36 – 97:47)

• Story: Chinese woman hospitalized after eating live frogs to cure back pain.
• Exploration of historical cures: urine baths for acne, onion slices on feet for fever, garlic and honey for immunity, applying earwax to cold sores.
• Bob: “Apply earwax to a cold sore? I’ve had enough!” (97:40)

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11. Scandalous News: The “Scrotum Story” (143:18 – 147:38)

• Ohio woman broke into her boyfriend’s home and “cut the victim’s testicles with an unknown instrument.”
• “The man’s testicle was clearly exposed as a result of the laceration.”
• Bob: “If you attack the nut bag, I think you’re a nut job.”

Quick detour into discussion of prosthetic testicles (“nudicles” for pets; up to $169; human prosthetic testicle: $5,000–$13,500 per procedure).

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12. Dog “Translator” Project (151:52 – 154:38)

• University of Texas scientist tries to use machine learning to translate dog barks into language.
• Panel is skeptical: “Dogs are liars.” (154:00)
• Jess: “Our dog put on 20 pounds because two people thought the other hadn’t fed him.” (154:23)

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13. Listener Interaction and Humor Throughout

• Listener letters provide candor and throwback anecdotes, from accidental courtroom audio to unique Halloween traditions.
• Bob and Tom’s legendary quick-witted exchanges prompt regular laughter.

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• “Candy cigarettes kind of suck as candy, but as a prop? Hilarious.” — Tom Griswold (12:15)
• “When I was, like, in third grade, my dad let me have chewing tobacco. Five minutes later, I was just vomiting behind the bleachers.” — Jeff Oskay (11:06)
• “We called it the ‘spaz contest’—the all-around athletic contest. Is that word OK?” — Bob Kevoian (53:19)
• “That was the joke: The bigger the better, the tighter the sweater, the boys are depending on us.” — Nancy (Listener letter, 64:12)
• “I don’t have tattoos because my dad would occasionally hug me.” — Tom Griswold (34:38)
• “There’s a mugshot, and she’s smiling away.” — Jess Hooker (147:10, on the “scrotum” story)
• “Sometimes my scrotum will hang a little lower than the testicles themselves… It’s almost like my sack has a reservoir tip.” — Tom Griswold (149:03)
• “Jess, did you have those falsies in your house?” — Bob Kevoian (90:43)
• “If you attack the nut bag, I think you’re a nut job.” — Bob Kevoian (147:26)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• Halloween Song/Story — 01:40
• “I Must Increase My Bust” — 06:42, 64:12
• Candy Nostalgia, Regional Treats — 08:38, 38:16, 40:55, 61:33, 116:30
• Listener Letters (Legal mishap) — 20:51
• Pop Culture Debate T-Shirts — 47:29
• Pickle Juice Sports Trend — 41:36
• Pull-up World Record & Gym Class — 52:13
• Tattoo Tales, Reception Trends — 32:18, 67:56
• “Hybristophilia” Report — 82:20
• Bizarre Folk Remedies — 91:36
• Scrotum Incident & Nudicles — 143:18
• Dog Translator Project — 151:45

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Flow, Tone, and Format

The tone is irreverent and playful, with the cast riffing off each other’s stories, reader mail, and news tidbits. The flow jumps nimbly from one oddball subject to the next, peppered with callbacks, audience emails, and ongoing comedic asides. Even heavier or more graphic stories are lightened with quips and self-deprecating wit.

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Closing

The episode wraps with rapid-fire bits about upcoming tournaments, laughter about band names (“Crapping Candles”), and plans for further odd news to be covered on Monday’s show. As always, the focus remains on camaraderie, shared nostalgia, and making the audience feel part of the extended BOB & TOM family.

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For more info, catch the Bob & Tom Show on YouTube or subscribe for daily episodes and B&T Extra.

Transcript

[Tom Griswold]

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[Bob Kevoian]

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[Bob Kevoian]

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[Tom Griswold]

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[Bob Kevoian]

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[Tom Griswold]

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[Bob Kevoian]

You accidentally tapped your ex's post from years ago. Better delete the whole app when scrolling's a bust. Tacos are a must. Paso the Old El Paso Pick up.

[Tom Griswold]

An old El Paso stand and stuffed taco kit today.

[Announcer]

When modern life gets rough, grab the timeless taste you love.

[Bob Kevoian]

Passo the Old El Paso.

[Jeff Oskay]

It'S the Bob and Tom Show.

[Storyteller (Mr. Duke)]

The autumn moon was full on that last October night Smiling Jack O Lanterns shed their ghoulish light I was putting on my costume for a neighbor's spooky bash when suddenly at my back door I heard a frightful crash.

[Jess Hooker]

A witch.

[Storyteller (Mr. Duke)]

Out in my yard on Halloween night Someone I could hardly see A horrifying face barely in the light Scared the pants off of Scared the pants off of me Scared the pants off of.

[Bob Kevoian]

Me.

[Storyteller (Mr. Duke)]

As I walked to a party down the street I felt a shiver and twitch I slipped on a pumpkin in the dark and once again I saw the witch Scared the pants off of me Scared the pants off of.

[Jess Hooker]

Me.

[Bob Kevoian]

Halloween party.

[Storyteller (Mr. Duke)]

Everybody's rocking all those ghouls and goblins what a great place I'm dancing and I'm singing yeah joining.

[Bob Kevoian]

In the music.

[Storyteller (Mr. Duke)]

Will I see.

[Announcer]

That.

[Jeff Oskay]

Which is face.

[Storyteller (Mr. Duke)]

I run up the back door and down the street I hear someone following behind I'm afraid to turn around and look Scared of what I'll find Scared the pants off of me oh, scare the pants off of.

[Jess Hooker]

Me.

[Storyteller (Mr. Duke)]

I slam my door and I hide inside about to expire.

[Bob Kevoian]

Just as.

[Storyteller (Mr. Duke)]

I begin to breathe again I hear a tiny knock I open the door I see the face that fills my mind with screams it's just a witch's mask I pull it off I see the woman of my dreams she scared the pants off of me she scared the pants off of me all night long she scared the pants off of me oh yeah she scared the pants off of me oh, I like it I didn't think I had the ghost of a chance Till she scared the pants off of me so I Moved into her haunted house and she's become my wife. She loves my furry beard. I'm the wolf man in her life. Now, some nine months later, she's got a swollen tummy. I'm going to be a monster daddy, and she's going to be a mummy. We'll be a happy family. All our lives will be so rich. Just me, the ghoul of my dreams and hour. Little son of a witch.

[Tom Griswold]

A very spooky tale, Mr. Duke. Tomato. Hey, how are you? How the heck are you? That's right, ladies, it is the Bob and Tom show. Live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, Jess Hooker is the insurance company news desk. Hi, Josh, Jeff, Oskar across the way.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hey, man.

[Tom Griswold]

As is Ace Cosby. Hey, Justin. I am Josh, Arnold and Tom. We have a heck of a day planned today, don't we?

[Bob Kevoian]

We do, yes. Yeah, we. We got a lot of stuff.

[Tom Griswold]

Good letters. We have news.

[Bob Kevoian]

Got a great. A great letter. And I got an interesting question for everybody, and I think we can begin right now since we're here. All right, first off, I walk in here a few minutes ago, and I see Ms. Hooker doing some kind of maneuver in which she's standing up and thrusting her elbows right back like. And. And pushing your hands in together.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

What was the chant again?

[Jess Hooker]

I must, I must, I must increase my bust.

[Bob Kevoian]

Ah. I must, I must, I must increase my bust.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. It was something we did when we were teenagers, and I knew we heard it in a movie somewhere, and I couldn't remember what it was.

[Jeff Oskay]

The hand motion you're making looks like you're trying to do one of those hand farts.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes, it does, but you're. You're just pushing the palms of your hands together and, like, flexing your chest and.

[Bob Kevoian]

Is this a. I don't know if we.

[Jess Hooker]

If it.

[Bob Kevoian]

Does it work?

[Jess Hooker]

I don't know. I. I mean, I'm looking down and I don't think so.

[Tom Griswold]

I think we'd have to ask Margaret.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Judy Bloom book.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

She apparently would do that. Yes. Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret.

[Bob Kevoian]

Is that something you did as when you were a younger.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, yeah. We did everything we could to try to make our chest bigger, and it just didn't work. We'd stuff our bras. All of it. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Did you ever hear the term falsies?

[Jess Hooker]

No.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, falsies. I remember the first time I heard it as a youth. I couldn't think of anything funnier. And those were the foam.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Inserts.

[Jess Hooker]

Right. And. And then they upgraded the technology. And now they have essentially what looks like an implant, a breast implant, or a chicken cutlet. It looks like a chicken cutlet. It usually is a flesh tone, and you can put that in your bra and it's a little bit.

[Bob Kevoian]

Those aren't called falsies, though.

[Jess Hooker]

I don't know what they're called, actually. Yeah, but you could. You could just buy them. You could buy them any size, as big as you want.

[Tom Griswold]

So I'm gonna type in falsies on Amazon and see if something is available.

[Jess Hooker]

I think if you type in falsies on Amazon, you're gonna get eyelashes.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, okay.

[Jess Hooker]

To be honest.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, that's what they call eyelashes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

False.

[Tom Griswold]

You're exactly right.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

It's nothing. But.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, there was a time when the word falsies meant something else.

[Jess Hooker]

Right.

[Bob Kevoian]

A better time, I'd say you could smoke everywhere Dr. Smoked, because it was good for you. You know, that kind of thing. Which sort of leads to one of our letters. I was asking if it was if they still made those candy cigarettes. We did some research and found out they do indeed make candy cigarettes. And I was wondering how. What it would be like to give them away to the kids at Halloween, if that would be a bad idea. Got this nice letter. This comes to us from Pam, who lives in a place called Battleground, Indiana.

[Jess Hooker]

Nice.

[Bob Kevoian]

She goes, oh, about candy cigarettes. They sell them at a little gas station up the road from me in Americus.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah, I know where that is.

[Bob Kevoian]

Americus, Indiana.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. It's right by my lake house.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

Does that track that they would have.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

They probably have some. Some kids dip, too.

[Bob Kevoian]

They probably sell falsies.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Pam continues. I've been giving them out for Halloween for several years now. They cost 50 cents a pack. The kids also get other candy and a Hot Wheels car in each goodie bag.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow, that's awesome.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's great.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Pam must be the best. Then she goes, I think, referencing the candy cigarettes. The moms all love me. I think. I think we need a sarcastic font for that. I think the cigs are the reason the kids keep coming back. I'm a grandma. They think it's funny. And I think it's funny watching the kids leave with candy cigarettes between their teeth. Country living, gotta love it.

[Jess Hooker]

She says, do you remember talking about a kid's version of dip? I remember that. We had it. It came in what looked like a skull can, and it was. But it was shredded beef jerky.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, I remember that too.

[Willie G]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

And so it looked like. So you would take out a pinch, and it was just beef jerk.

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[Jess Hooker]

And you'd put it in your lip.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that is.

[Jeff Oskay]

I remember that.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's some cancer training for the kids.

[Tom Griswold]

Very finely shredded.

[Bob Kevoian]

Get ready to. Get ready to lose your cheek.

[Jess Hooker]

Not a bad way to eat beef jerky, right?

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, Biggly Chew was same.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Dip for kids.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big League Chew was shredded bubble gum that comes in a pouch.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Awesome. Developed by Jim Bouton the Great.

[Tom Griswold]

That doesn't matter, but still just delicious.

[Bob Kevoian]

Great book Ball four, for those of you that read. Sorry, Josh.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, my gosh. That.

[Tom Griswold]

I.

[Jeff Oskay]

When I was, like, in third grade, we were at my brother's ball game, and one of the guys had Red man chewing tobacco and was, like, hugging it up, and I was like, oh, can I have some of that? And he goes, yeah, ask your dad. And my dad's like, yeah, knock yourself out. And so I got a plug of Red man and put it in my cheek, and like, five minutes later, they go, oh, don't swallow the juice.

[Tom Griswold]

Spit it out.

[Jeff Oskay]

But I had been swallowing the juice for five minutes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Did you puke?

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, for the next two days. Oh, it was horrible. I couldn't have anything wintergreen for, like, a decade.

[Tom Griswold]

I bet.

[Jeff Oskay]

I just go have a flashback to behind the bleachers, just vomiting about.

[Tom Griswold]

How old were you?

[Jeff Oskay]

Third or fourth grade? I was too young to be.

[Bob Kevoian]

That stuff's really nasty.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, it was.

[Bob Kevoian]

And it's horrible. It causes cancer quicker than anything.

[Jeff Oskay]

But that pack was cool. Like, when they would pull it out, like, unroll it and take out the little plug.

[Tom Griswold]

So one of the great things about Biggly Chew, it was almost the exact same, oh, yeah, pack.

[Bob Kevoian]

So you think, is this. So is it a bad idea for me to go online and buy a bunch of candy cigarettes and give them to the kids?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I say do it. I have fun.

[Jeff Oskay]

Great.

[Jess Hooker]

Will Kelly let you do that?

[Tom Griswold]

I would give out other candy with it. Candy cigarettes kind of suck in terms of being as a candy, but as a prop, Right?

[Bob Kevoian]

Hilarious. Yeah. I guess they couldn't make. What's. What is the new thing the Zyn tablets? What are those?

[Jeff Oskay]

The.

[Jess Hooker]

The.

[Bob Kevoian]

Quit smoking. They really couldn't make those because they already look like Chiclets. Yeah, they do, by the way. Underrated.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

An underrated candy. Yeah, Chiclets.

[Jess Hooker]

You like them?

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Were they not gum?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Oh, okay. Well, you said candy that would last.

[Jeff Oskay]

For three seconds and then dissolve in your mouth.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, they would.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

But it Wasn't enough for a whole piece of gum.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. You had to shove like 12 of them in your mouth. They were. They were coated like an M M. They still are. They're. They're delightful.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. I've never had a chicklet.

[Jeff Oskay]

Really?

[Bob Kevoian]

I'll get you some.

[Jeff Oskay]

No, thanks.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't. I think there's a reason I haven't. It never appealed to me.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

If I want gum, I'll have gum. If I want candy, I'll have candy. What's a weird hybrid?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, the mouth feel of biting. That crunch. I know what Tom's talking about.

[Tom Griswold]

That is they make other gums that are kind of that shape. Bigger. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

And then what was the. What is the non. Street name of the gum that when you chew it, it has that burst of liquid? I know the street.

[Tom Griswold]

We had gushers. That was the name of the gum that we had.

[Jess Hooker]

Was that gut? Was that gum or was that like a. Like a chewy candy?

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, it was referred to with a short two word rhyme. The second word was gum.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

You know what I'm talking about. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we'll come back to that story in a moment. A couple of things coming up. Willie G. Will be giving us a call. He's in Peoria tonight. He's going to be doing some great live stand up comedy. Also, we had a terrific guest yesterday. Greg Morton was in yesterday and he's going to be doing some stuff on the road. He'll be in a place called Greenwood tonight and then he's in Terre Haute at the Zora shrine tomorrow night. I hope you had a chance to hear Greg yesterday. That was terrific. Right now, I'll tell you what you would be. A great thing to give out at Halloween would be as the parents come in with their little kids, give the kids some candy and give. Give mom and dad a nice steak from Omaha steaks. You know what I'm talking about, Josh?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, of course I know what you're talking about. I think that's a ridiculous idea. I think it's. I think it's. Then you got to go for the franks, the deli style franks for. For Halloween.

[Bob Kevoian]

Because they're more portable.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, exactly.

[Bob Kevoian]

Really can't take tongs out. Open your bag and drop in a delicious marbled rib eye.

[Tom Griswold]

Man, you would be. No matter what you give your neighbors from a wall stakes for Halloween, you would be the king or queen of the neighborhood for, I'm going to say four years. Yeah. Just like a president.

[Jeff Oskay]

So.

[Tom Griswold]

Right now Omaha stakes has A terrific sale going on. They know that the holidays sneak up on us. So they're having their early Black Friday sale. You're going to get 50% off site wide and an extra 20% off select favorites at Omaha Steaks.com plus our listeners get an extra $35 off with promo code BTS. Just plug that in at checkout. Now what kind of stuff can I get? You know what, I'm so glad you asked. Fan favorite filets mignon. As mentioned earlier by Mr. Tom Griswold, those are USDA certified. Very tender. You are absolutely going to love them. They also have mouth watering burgers, air chilled chicken, pork, seafood, delectable desserts. So many great sides like that. Potatoes, all gratin and of course comfort meals. Do not mess out on the meat lovers lasagna. See these foods get in my head and I can't even speak about it. The early Black Friday sale. It's the perfect time to shop for the best deals. And guess what? Orders placed by 6pm Eastern. Those will ship the same day. Now you can save big with omaha steaks. Visit omaha steaks.com for 50% off site wide. Tom, I forget, what do you put on your franks?

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm. I like them sort of just by. On their own.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I mean the flavor really is insane.

[Bob Kevoian]

The frank and the bun. Franken bun. That's very scary.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's great.

[Bob Kevoian]

Don't chew in the bolt.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no. Just try not to. You can also get an extra 20% off select favorites during Omaha Steaks early Black Friday sale. And for an extra $35 off, use promo code BTS at checkout. You're gonna save all kinds of money. Terms apply. See site for details. That's 50% off at Omaha steaks.com promo code BTS at checkout.

[Bob Kevoian]

Thank you very much. Now coming up, Willie G. He's at the Jukebox Comedy Club in Peoria with Colin Unger this weekend.

[Jeff Oskay]

Nice.

[Bob Kevoian]

And other delights including your letters when we get back. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Jess Hooker]

When did making plans get this complicated? It's time to streamline with WhatsApp, the secure messaging app that brings the whole group together. Use polls to settle dinner plans, send.

[Bob Kevoian]

Event invites and pin messages so no.

[Jess Hooker]

One forgets mom 60th and never miss a meme or milestone. All protected with end to end encryption. It's time for WhatsApp message privately with everyone. Learn [e-mail].

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom show. Live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, Jess Hooker is at the Silac Insurance Company news desk.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello.

[Tom Griswold]

Jeff Oskay sitting in for Chickster. That's right, there's Ace Cosby. Hello, I'm Josh Arnold. And there he is, Tommy the Cat. I have you familiar with that Primus song, Tom? Tommy the Cat?

[Bob Kevoian]

I am not. I'm somewhat familiar with Primus, but not that particular tune. Is it a good one?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it is a good one. He's, as they say, he's got a lot of stories, but rarely does he tell them. And in this case, he decides to.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now, I. When I was a little boy, Mr. Dalton across the street always called me Tomcat.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

The only one ever.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a good nickname.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey, Tomcat. Now, I. I've just answered two questions I was gonna ask you guys. Oh, one of them. Do you remember those little wax bottles? Yeah, the candy.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

They look like little tiny soda bottles and they were wax. You'd bite off the top and suck in the juice.

[Tom Griswold]

Godwin loved those.

[Bob Kevoian]

And I was wondering if they. If you can still get them and I just found them online.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they're gross.

[Bob Kevoian]

You don't think kids would like these?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, they're. I think they're gross.

[Jess Hooker]

It's sugar gel. It's. That's all it is, right?

[Bob Kevoian]

Exactly. That's why kids are gonna love it. It's all sugar.

[Tom Griswold]

I recently bought some at a big truck stop thing and brought him his bat. Yeah, he was such a fan.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm thinking of maybe doing kind of a nostalgic little goodie bag for the kids trick or treating. Yet you have those little wax.

[Jess Hooker]

That's a cute spin on giving kids candy. Cigarettes.

[Bob Kevoian]

And then the candy cigarettes. Calm down. And then.

[Tom Griswold]

And then you're gonna clean the eggs off your house the next morning. Yeah, that'll be great.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, I also, I do ask the kids when they, when they trick or treat. I get their. Their emails, and then the next day I send them a thing at how was our right just to like everything else in the world. Now you go to the dentist and three days later, how did we do? Was parking easy? Were you greeted with a smile? Okay, I got you now. But the gym I go to, every single time I go there, I get a thing the next day saying, hey, I don't have that kind of time. But my other question was. And I answered this one, too. Have you seen that terrific set of commercials for Xfinity with the classic Boris Karloff looking Frankenstein monster I haven't. It's just terrific. And it's the Boris Karloff one. Has the kind of the flathead and the big bolts in the neck.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

And is green and wears a T shirt with a coat like Don Johnson did in Miami Vice. Doesn't wear a tie. A great look. And I was wondering, did they have to get a license to do that or can anybody do that? Because obviously the. The book Frankenstein is in public domain. But I did a little research and found out they indeed, there is a licensing fee for the particular look of that Frankenstein monster. Used to be controlled by Boris Karloff's daughter. Now it's controlled by Universal Studios. But they're terrific commercials. It shows the Frankenstein monster in everyday situations. Oh, and he's got a cell phone. It's very funny, but. So I've answered my own question. Hope you guys were excited about it. Now, we do have more letters. Josh, you got one over there.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yes. Josh has officially embarrassed me in a court of law, says this writer. I was barely listening to you guys.

[Bob Kevoian]

Best way to hear the show on.

[Tom Griswold]

September 19 when a car ran a red light and we collided. I assumed it was an open and shut case for me, so I turned over my SD card to my insurance legal team. I'm assuming from his camera. Yes. Fast forward to today, October. Oh, okay. Fast forward to October 9th. My counsel gets up to present my video to the court. And the counselor started by saying, please disregard the inappropriate conversation on the radio. I was panicked. I didn't remember what was being said, says the writer audibly. All you hear is Josh say, so you like a little thumb play, do you, Jason? Oh, it is great. What do you say, hooker? Well, I'm glad I could help with your case. I hope everything went all right.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now, I forget where this came up yesterday, the term regulators. Remember this?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. There was one of the names, potential names for the new Long Island. Long Beach. Thank you. Long Beach, Right.

[Bob Kevoian]

And I said, isn't that a group of cops?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. You had said from. In a movie, they referred to certain people as the regulators.

[Bob Kevoian]

I think it might have been the Missouri breaks. I'm not sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And then you found out that it was an Old west kind of thing.

[Bob Kevoian]

Good morning, kings and queens of radio.

[Tom Griswold]

Hi.

[Bob Kevoian]

I wanted to help Tom with his query about regulators in a movie. In the movie Young Guns.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

The regulators were a group of outlaws hired by a rancher to protect his land. They would yell, regulators, mount up. Hop on their horses and ride. The audio is the beginning of the song by Warren G. Yes.

[Jess Hooker]

And Nate Dog.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they yell that.

[Jess Hooker]

That's the one we were singing yesterday.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's the Michael McDonald one that they sampled.

[Jeff Oskay]

And apparently Warren G is part of the ownership group that owns this Long beach. And that's why they were going to go with Regulator.

[Jess Hooker]

That's kind of cool.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, gotcha, Gotcha.

[Bob Kevoian]

So that makes sense.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay. And then working without this is. I have to read this in a special voice.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

By special. By special. From a special person. It's. It's your voice, Josh. Oh, keep up the great work. Working without listening to you is abuse.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, it is beauce. Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's. That's Josh's campus. I can't really do it. I can do. I can do a dog voice. I have a dog voice.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

My dog's always says, this is the greatest day of my life. Whatever we're doing, let's do it again.

[Jess Hooker]

You say the same thing every time when you greet your dog.

[Bob Kevoian]

Absolutely.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Pretty much. A little.

[Bob Kevoian]

Good boy. Then I start petting him. I go, this defines fun for me. I'm loving this. That's him talking to me. Then we are. Then we all. He always. We always argue.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

It's time to go out. No, it isn't. What do you mean? It's not. Yes, it is. Where to go out now? I'd rather just hear. Have. Have more bacon. What? Give me more bacon. This comes to us from Adam in North Baltimore, Ohio.

[Jess Hooker]

Wow, that's a new one.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, it's. It's. Almost every major city has another version of it somewhere. You've got your London, Ohio. London, Ontario. Then there's London. London, where Christy Lee is, I think right now. We have more letters here. This is from Davey. Oh, I see. Did you guys ever do the Campbell soup phone thing where you take it. Take a can and another can, put a 30 foot long string and go to the next room and talk to your buddies. Does it work?

[Tom Griswold]

Never did it. I did not grow up during the Depression.

[Bob Kevoian]

Did you ever do the thing where you have that round that, that, that round hula hoop and you take a stick and run down an alley as a streetcar goes by and go newsies? Yeah. No, I. I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

I never did try that string thing.

[Jeff Oskay]

You should hand that out with your candy cigarettes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I have heard that. You can sort of.

[Jess Hooker]

We did it at the lake house.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, it worked.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, we did it at the lake house. Like one of the. One of the kids was up, up on the deck and then we were down and. Yeah, you could. You could do it.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

But. And kids still love walkie talkies. I remember giving them to the girls for Christmas last year.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

And immediately they're 60ft away.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

In another room, I just gave my can you hear me?

[Tom Griswold]

Check test.

[Jess Hooker]

She turned 5, and she was like, what is this? Ended up being the best gift.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

We had walkie talkies growing up, and one Christmas Eve, we had the great idea that we took one of the walkie talkies and we duct taped the button down and taped it under the dining room table. Oh. And then we got sent up and listened to what they were wrapping in the.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh. On Christmas.

[Jeff Oskay]

In the Christmas Eve room, until apparently, the duct tape came loose and it just made, like, a weird squelch. And you can hear my parents go.

[Storyteller (Mr. Duke)]

Go to bed.

[Jeff Oskay]

But we thought it was pretty geni.

[Tom Griswold]

You found out what your folks were, but you still didn't find out what Santa was.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. We had no idea what Santa brought, but we knew what the parents were wrapping up.

[Bob Kevoian]

I do a lot of. What's the word for it? Dictating.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

You'll be driving somewhere and you want to send a message to someone.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

And then, as I sometimes say, this message was dictated, not proofread. You ever do the one where you don't realize that you've left it open and the radio's on, and then you'll look later on and you've sent them 10,000 words?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

All of a Sudden.

[Tom Griswold]

All of a Sudden lyrics. Here Comes the Night.

[Bob Kevoian]

I just got traffic and weather and a commercial for Omaha Steaks. Well, thank you very much. Very tasty. This is a request.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, all right.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay. Everybody see this?

[Tom Griswold]

What joke of mine would they like to hear?

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm prefacing my reading of this because if. If I had just done this on my own, I would be accused of something. This comes to us from Jeff. He goes back in March. I was officiating a baseball game. I got hit in the head with a fastball.

[Tom Griswold]

Yikes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Suffered a concussion. Several months of treatment followed, and then we had a personal tragedy in the family. Then I had spinal surgery in September.

[Tom Griswold]

Man, oh, man.

[Bob Kevoian]

This is like queen for a day. This is very sad, but I just want to say you guys helped me through my recovery. Oh, good. Thanks. Thanks for the laughs. By the way, this Friday night, I'm heading to Peoria, Illinois, for a checkup. I talked my wife into going to see Willie G at the Jukebox Comedy Club. That's. That's tonight. Well, that's cool. Thank you very much. He goes, thanks, you guys. P.S. could I hear a request?

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

Could you please play Jess Hooker's first appearance as an actress on your show?

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, no, he didn't.

[Bob Kevoian]

I. I believe.

[Jess Hooker]

No, he didn't.

[Bob Kevoian]

I believe. Ace, you want to read this?

[Tom Griswold]

Ace does want to read it. He wants the actual evidence.

[Jess Hooker]

You fact check it. It's true.

[Tom Griswold]

Jess's first accent in the grocery store.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Loves it.

[Bob Kevoian]

No, do you want to give the background on this great asset to the show?

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, that's very nice.

[Bob Kevoian]

Do you want to give the background?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. When I was an intern here, our producer called me in and said, hey, I. I need a female for this bit. Can you. Can you read this with an accent? And I was like, yeah, man. I don't. I don't think so. I was nervous. Anyway, it was the first time I had ever appeared on any material, and. And he was like, no, I'll coach you through it. And. And Dean, at the time, our producer is an amazing coach. He's. He's. He's great.

[Bob Kevoian]

That is. He is by far the best.

[Jess Hooker]

Well, some people just can't be helped. And I am one of those people.

[Bob Kevoian]

And this is just the beginning. And the other woman is Tammy Pescatelli.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Who you refer to as Tammy.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Tammy Pescatelli, comedian. And here's what it sounds like.

[Jess Hooker]

Hi, Tammy. How are things in the produce department today?

[Bob Kevoian]

That's you right there. You. You open it up.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

And what country is this person?

[Jess Hooker]

I'm not sure.

[Tom Griswold]

It's meant to be Latinx. Yeah, because of the. Well, you'll find out when you find out what happened.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay. Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

Hi, Tammy. How are things in the produce department today? To be honest, Maria, I'm not feeling well. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Are you sick? Actually, I'm constipated.

[Bob Kevoian]

Constipation. It's a terrible feeling. Try Cheetos today. Cheetos were the. They were a variation on a chip, you see, that was also a laxative. No need to play the whole thing, apparently.

[Jess Hooker]

I don't think so.

[Bob Kevoian]

I just wanted to check it. So it's supposed to be like you're of. Of Hispanic heritage.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Hi, Tammy. How are things in the produce department today? To be honest, Maria, I'm not feeling well. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Are you sick? Actually, I'm constipated.

[Bob Kevoian]

Constipation.

[Jess Hooker]

Tom likes listening to his part.

[Jeff Oskay]

Of course he does.

[Bob Kevoian]

My accent is so much worse.

[Tom Griswold]

That.

[Bob Kevoian]

Guy was kicked out of France. We don't have to worry about Ice showing up. After playing with your accent, they're not gonna go.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait a minute.

[Bob Kevoian]

Let me see your papers, lady. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, we talked a little bit about bedroom posters.

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, we.

[Tom Griswold]

Off and on for the last year and a half, and we got a writer here who says, I had a very good friend by the name of Andy. We lived in the same building for several years. Andy used to have posters on his bedroom wall of Rita Hayworth and Raquel Welch. One day, Andy just disappeared. The landlord compared it to, like, a fart in the wind. I missed my friend Andy. I guess he got busy living and not busy dying. That comes to us from red in Zayhuataneo, Mexico.

[Bob Kevoian]

There's. There's a commercial where half that phrase.

[Tom Griswold]

Is used, get busy living.

[Bob Kevoian]

Just. That's the get busy living part. And again, I wonder if they had to pay for that.

[Tom Griswold]

Probably.

[Bob Kevoian]

If Morgan Freeman can he use that willy nilly. Or do they have to?

[Jess Hooker]

I bet not.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's where we took our honeymoon at was the Watanejo down in Mexico.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Jess Hooker]

Nice.

[Jeff Oskay]

Gorgeous.

[Bob Kevoian]

Recently?

[Jeff Oskay]

No, about.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, which one is 20 years ago?

[Jeff Oskay]

20 years ago.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, this is the numero uno.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. Well, no dose.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

How many times have you been married?

[Jeff Oskay]

Twice.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

But not now.

[Jeff Oskay]

No, no, I'm not gonna make that mistake again.

[Bob Kevoian]

Can we back up the tape? You don't want to say that out loud. Well, I didn't realize you've been married twice.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah. I got married when I was, like, 21, divorced at 22, and then married again at 36.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now, how old were you when you got the tattoo?

[Jeff Oskay]

18.

[Bob Kevoian]

Did you get a marriage tattoo as well?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, I did. I used to have a dolphin on my leg for her.

[Jess Hooker]

Did you have a dolphin, too?

[Jeff Oskay]

Nope. Oh.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, no. Did you have it changed into a whale or something?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, actually, I did have it. I had it covered up with a big black blob.

[Tom Griswold]

All right.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, really? You didn't do anything artistic?

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, it was supposed to be a moon and a sun, but the person who was doing it in their garage kept dropping ashes from their blunt into the wounds. And so I.

[Bob Kevoian]

Wait a second. I stalked it as someone looking at this from the outside. The first thing I would say is garage in that sentence. Oh, no, that's gotta be a.

[Jeff Oskay]

It's exactly what it sounds like.

[Bob Kevoian]

A tell, as they say. Yeah, yeah, because that's a real art form, taking tattoos and turning them into something else.

[Jeff Oskay]

And there are amazing tattoo Artists out there. I did not go to one of those, but I only had 75 bucks.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, I. I saw a article about a guy that is. I think he's. I want to say he's from Ohio. That his specialty is taking scars.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

And working around them, incorporating them into tattoos. You know, great. Really great stuff that can really help people. So, you know, would you be interested in having that thing burned off, maybe.

[Jeff Oskay]

Covered up with something better?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, but if it's just a big blob, what are they going to make it a tattoo of?

[Jeff Oskay]

I don't know, a cat's backside maybe, walking away with its tail in the air.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, that'd be attractive.

[Tom Griswold]

Would you.

[Bob Kevoian]

When you go to the doctor, do you warn them? Don't you have like a. What do you have? Didn't you get some. Very girly.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. I have so many bad tattoos. I have like a skull on my shoulder. Smoking a joint. I have a. I have a rose with a snake wrapped around it on my chest.

[Jess Hooker]

I didn't know that. I thought you were 18.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, no, I have. I just. On my neck, I have my astrological sign.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, yeah, we see that when you get a haircut.

[Jeff Oskay]

I was a teen unwed mother of three, so they forced me to get that tattoo. Oh, boy.

[Bob Kevoian]

What is your astrological sign?

[Jeff Oskay]

Libra.

[Bob Kevoian]

And what does that mean? Tends to make pores.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't have any of those tattoos because my dad would occasionally hug me.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah. I don't know what that's like.

[Bob Kevoian]

So much for the profound.

[Jeff Oskay]

I remember in, like, second grade, I gave my dad, like, I was going to bed at night and I gave my dad a hug and a kiss. He goes, that'll be enough of that. He goes, from now on, we did high fives at.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, all right.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, that's enough.

[Tom Griswold]

That. You know what? I think that comes from maybe his dad. You know, there may have been not enough hugging there.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, no. Howard was a bastard.

[Bob Kevoian]

So about a month ago, my 9 year old daughter Hart looks at me and she says, now, Dad, I heard you say that if any of us get a tattoo, we're not going to be in the will.

[Jess Hooker]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

This is your youngest daughter?

[Bob Kevoian]

And she goes, she goes, you know, Sally has a little tattoo in her ankle that means, do I get her money? It's like, where did you hear that? Because I did say it. Of course, so far it hasn't worked on any of them.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

Of the seven, the only ones without.

[Jess Hooker]

Tats are under 18.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, yeah. So there we go. Now we Got a lot of cool stuff happening out there, and it's all gonna happen right here. Oh, that's nice. Right now, I want to remind you about something called lean. It's Lean Lean, and it's been developed by doctors at Brick House Nutrition. And I was actually talking to one of these doctors and he was telling me about this thing called weight cycling, which I'd never heard of. But as soon as it was explained to me, I went, oh, yeah. And what that means is there's actually a stat on this. By the time you hit the age of 60 in America, about half the people have gained and regained and lost several hundred pounds. You know the cycle. You put on a few pounds and you go on a diet and take it off. Then you put on the same amount of weight plus two, and you keep doing it over and over again. Not good for you. Can cause some serious health issues. This is where lean comes in. And the idea is to help you lose some weight and keep it off and stop that weight cycling. Lean, once again, developed by doctors at Brickhouse Nutrition. It's not a GLP1 injectable. That's the stuff you hear about a lot. What are they called? Getting the shot, I believe it's called. This is not what that is. This is an oral supplement. And Lean is designed to help maintain healthy blood sugar. Lean is designed to control your appetite and your cravings. And Lean is designed to burn fat by converting it into energy. And burning fat, of course, helps take the weight off. So if you want to lose some meaningful weight and keep it off, try Lean. You can add lean to your diet and exercise lifestyle. And by the way, get 20% off when you enter the code [e-mail] that's take lean L E A N takelean.com get all the information you need by going there. Results vary, of course, and these statements and products have not been evaluated by the fda and they're not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. They're not available. And they are available, of course, online. By the way, Lean is not a substitute for care from your healthcare provider. Once again, all the details, takelean.com that code is tom to save 20%. Coming up, we're going to visit the sports page. We have more of your letters. You can reach us. Bob and tomobandtom.com these are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. The show is also out there for you on our YouTube channel, watch and subscribe. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Jess Hooker]

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[Tom Griswold]

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom show live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. And there's the professional news lady, Jess Hooker at the Silec Insurance Company news desk.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello.

[Tom Griswold]

There's Jeff Oskay.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes, sir.

[Tom Griswold]

Ace Cosby. I'm Josh Arnold. And there he is, Tom.

[Bob Kevoian]

And you went from being. Was it your nickname was Prostituty.

[Tom Griswold]

What was it was that right?

[Jess Hooker]

It's close. Yeah. My maiden name is Prosser. And the kids in middle school came up with a nickname, prostitute. And that's what they called me.

[Bob Kevoian]

And then you got.

[Jess Hooker]

And then I married a hooker.

[Bob Kevoian]

Wow, that sounds like that. Doesn't that sound like a porno movie?

[Tom Griswold]

I married a hooker.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, starring Richard Gere. And now do you have any more letters over there? We're ready to move forward here.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't have letters.

[Jess Hooker]

No.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay, then we. I think we can move forward and grab some stuff from the sports page. I'm still trying to decide if I should buy these little tiny wax bottles.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. Disappoint the kids.

[Tom Griswold]

You can give those away. But I think also have maybe some Snickers.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, of course I'd have the real. But I. I loved those as a kid.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, you did you like that? I never liked him as a kid.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, I hated them. And I can see the kids that did like them. They were dirty and they had Kool Aid mustaches. They were chewing on those bottles.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, it was great. It was something different instead of just being a candy bar. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But not good though. You thought they were good.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, they're something different.

[Tom Griswold]

A time. Where do you stand on wax lips?

[Bob Kevoian]

Soft. Yeah. Fun. Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

But you just chew on them.

[Jeff Oskay]

I never understood.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

They just put them On. And it's funny. You give your friends, hey, look at this.

[Jess Hooker]

Don't they have all of this at Cracker Barrel?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, they do.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Not much of this. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, cool.

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, and have a bunch of nostalgic.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, I think it'd be fun. You give them a little goodie bag with these whack tiny little wax bottles and candy cigarettes. Maybe some big league chew.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

All right.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now here's a, here's a candy. I swear to God, these look like Prozac. Little capsules. I'm not kidding. They're gummies. But I guess that'd be kind of inappropriate.

[Tom Griswold]

You could give the mommy's Halloween fake Prozac and half a glass of grape juice.

[Bob Kevoian]

Coming up, we have something in the news that's kind of, it's, I guess in sporting news actually we'd been talking about this last year. I believe it was Dua Lipa, the recording artist and great singer who was. Had created some kind of pickle juice cocktail.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

There's a thing in the news today about NFL teams.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Drinking pickle juice on the sidelines.

[Jeff Oskay]

Some NFL players are turning to pickle juice to battle cramps. According to the athletic, so called pickle juice shooters and two ounce containers have become increasingly available on NFL sidelines and in locker rooms in the past 10 years. The briny liquid has long been known as an excellent source of salt and potassium, offering players quick relief.

[Bob Kevoian]

Everybody tried this?

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

You have.

[Jeff Oskay]

Usually I have a shot of Jameson right before it.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

It's called a pickleback. When you, you shoot Jameson or tequila. That's a common one.

[Tom Griswold]

Straight up electrolytes.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes. But I have always done it the like when I have a hangover. You drink pickle juice.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Interesting.

[Jeff Oskay]

So if you're cramping.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Really?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

And it immediately has an effect.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

When we landscaped, you know how they have the big pickles at the register. Like if you were, if it was a really hot day, you would all get the pickles and yeah, chew on those because it would keep you from cramping.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, I know there's that great song from Jim Croce. If I could drink brine from a bottle, my CR would all go away.

[Jeff Oskay]

49Ers defensive tackle Evan Anderson said, if you cramp during the game, pickle juice is going to get you back almost instantly. Cornerback Eli Apple added. It's nasty, but it works.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

Is it, does it, Is it nasty?

[Jeff Oskay]

I know.

[Jess Hooker]

I love pickle juice.

[Tom Griswold]

If you like pickles you're going to like it.

[Bob Kevoian]

Probably.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Dua Lipo was taking. It was either pickle juice or jalapeno brine from pickled jalapenos and putting it in her Diet Coke.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, yeah, you're right. Here it goes. Singer Dua Lipa is going viral on social media, according to this news account she posted on Tick Tock, Dua Lipa, showcasing the concoction of Diet Coke over ice mixed with pickle juice and the juice from pickled jalapenos. Wow.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Garnished with pieces of jalapeno and pickles.

[Tom Griswold]

We tried it, didn't we? Or something similar.

[Jess Hooker]

I don't think. I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

We did something similar.

[Jess Hooker]

We may have. I don't know.

[Bob Kevoian]

And it says here, fame. Famed chef Gordon Ramsay tested the drink in a video, and he said, dua Lipa. For God's sake, girl, you'll ruin your vocal cords. Oh, wow.

[Jeff Oskay]

So, like, the bar I used to go to had pickle juice in a rice squeeze thing.

[Jess Hooker]

And they. Yeah, they put it in the bar.

[Jeff Oskay]

And would shoot it. Put it in the shot next to your shot of James.

[Bob Kevoian]

And you gave me a tip. If you have a jar of pickles and you've eaten the last pickle, just slice up some cucumbers, throw them in there, and you're. Homemade pickles.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Which would be obvious to even a. But I never thought of that.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, that's great idea.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. And they're ready in, like, the next day.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's pretty good.

[Bob Kevoian]

But if you go to a bar, you ask for what you call it a pickle back, and they give you a shot of Jameson and a shot of the pickle juice.

[Jess Hooker]

The pickle juice.

[Bob Kevoian]

You don't mix them together. You just throw one down.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. One back and then the other. Yeah, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Do you get pickle breath?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Yeah, you do.

[Bob Kevoian]

But you're. You're drunk, so you don't care.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

I'm just making out with the guy in the corner.

[Tom Griswold]

When they get pulled over, you go, I've just been eating pickles.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. Now, when you were pregnant, like that drunk stork.

[Bob Kevoian]

Is this. Is this also for pregnancy issues?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. You know that you say that I did get a lot of Charlie Horses when I was sleeping, and that probably would. I don't know why I just got.

[Bob Kevoian]

One that woke me up the other morning. Yeah, my. I had a Charlie Horse.

[Jess Hooker]

I wish.

[Bob Kevoian]

I thought I was getting Gillian Barr syndrome or polio. But that means you're dehydrated, right?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Lack of potassium. Yeah. So. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

So I should start doing this pickle juice at night so I don't maybe.

[Jess Hooker]

Or have a banana before bed or.

[Tom Griswold]

Just get an electrolyte packet.

[Bob Kevoian]

Have you ever.

[Tom Griswold]

It has the right sodium, potassium and maybe even some magnesium.

[Bob Kevoian]

Have you ever had a charley horse?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Ever had one during intimate activities?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. Yeah, and I do. But to me, you just kind of explain and laugh and it does. It did not hurt anything.

[Bob Kevoian]

Did it give you kind of a stylish thrust? What was that move, Josh?

[Tom Griswold]

I have to have somebody coming in dead leg me every three minutes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Coming up, we have, we talk like we talk to dogs and cats. We have a scientist who is investigating what dogs are saying when they bark. Oh, for real. This guy got like a half million dollar grant to study this. So obviously when it comes to grant writing, he is a genius. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

Become a Bob and Tom VIP and get your Bob and Tom Fix 24. 7. Get all the info in the VIP [e-mail].

[Tom Griswold]

Everyone knows the legend of D.B. cooper, but what if I told you.

[Bob Kevoian]

There'S an even better story out there?

[Tom Griswold]

One with multiple aircraft hijackings, prison escapes.

[Willie G]

And so many twists and turns.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm talking about the hit podcast American.

[Tom Griswold]

Skyjacker, which is now an action packed documentary coming to theaters and streaming this fall.

[Bob Kevoian]

Find out more at www.americanskyjacker.com and listen to our bonus episode of the podcast.

[Willie G]

Coming soon, soon, American Skyjacker.

[Bob Kevoian]

Follow and listen on your favorite platform.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom show live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Hi, Jeff Osgay. Hey, man, there's Ace Cosby.

[Willie G]

Hey.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, look who it is. It's Jess Hooker at the Silac Insurance Company news desk.

[Jess Hooker]

It's me.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a me, Jess. I'm Josh Arnold.

[Jeff Oskay]

There's Tom.

[Bob Kevoian]

Got a technical question for you.

[Tom Griswold]

I hope we have an answer for you.

[Bob Kevoian]

I was reading this article in Esquire magazine. Well, with George Clooney on it, does.

[Tom Griswold]

He look pretty good?

[Jess Hooker]

It looks so good. And it says he looks so good. I saw it at the bookstore yesterday and it says it's still good to be George Clooney.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, he's a great guy. So this was an article by Michael Sebastian, the editor. And it, it begins as follows. Last weekend I considered doing something wearing a band's T shirt to that band's concert. For my entire concert going life, I've viewed such A thing as strictly verboten, you simply don't do it. Now, do you know what I'm talking about here? He. He went to see Oasis in concert.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

And they're on their tour and eventually decided to wear an Oasis shirt. And this is all based on a movie where the movie called pcu. He describes it as an unworthy heir to Animal House and back to school.

[Tom Griswold]

I was gonna say, I know I rented it, but I know no one else who ever saw that movie.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, I've seen it, but it not.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it was.

[Jeff Oskay]

Jeremy Pivens is horrible.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it was nothing.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, yeah. He says in the movie, the actor Jeremy Piven says to the character played by Jon Favreau, what is this? You're gonna wear this to the show. You're gonna wear the shirt of the band. You're gonna see. Don't be that guy. And this, this kind of stuck with. With Mr. Sebastian and his friends. What do you. What do you think, Josh? Do you think it's okay? Have you ever done you. Oh, you. You would wear.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I have not done it. I think it's totally acceptable.

[Bob Kevoian]

Really, Ms. Hooker?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I think so. I have a bigger problem with people that listen to the band on the way to the concert that bothers me. Like, we're getting ready to listen to this live. I don't want to hear it. Oh, interesting car speakers. Right. Now that bugs.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't tend to do that. But you know what I do? I tend to listen to the music of the band I just saw on the way home. Well, we use something about it that gets me.

[Bob Kevoian]

We used to do that here. There'd be a concert replay.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

You'd be driving home and they would play it in the same order.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, oh, really?

[Jess Hooker]

That's kind of cool.

[Bob Kevoian]

I thought that was very cool.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, there's something about that.

[Bob Kevoian]

But I mean, but wearing the band's T shirt to. For example, if, if you go to an NFL game, obviously.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

The majority of the people are wearing the colors of one team or another.

[Jess Hooker]

Right.

[Bob Kevoian]

Mr. Oski, would you wear the.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

I think it's a made up thing. I think it's not because a lot of people buy T shirts at the venue and put them on. Exactly.

[Bob Kevoian]

Mr. Sebastian points out that's perfectly acceptable.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, okay, that's.

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, then people seeing you don't know if you bought it that day or 20 years ago.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you read this whole thing?

[Bob Kevoian]

This is just the kind of. This is just the kind of internal debate that I would have I really identify with this guy. He ends up wearing the. The Oasis T shirt to the concert.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, he did the right thing.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay. But then he got the end. He goes, I'll never do it again. Even though he felt.

[Jess Hooker]

I'm gonna see Kansas and Jefferson Starship tonight. So I'll let you guys know if I buy a shirt and put it on while I'm there.

[Jeff Oskay]

All right?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay. You gonna take the defibrillator? That's.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they might be selling those.

[Bob Kevoian]

David Freiberg is damn near 90.

[Jess Hooker]

Is he really?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, he's. Great guy.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

And he's. He's. I know. He's. He's still in the band, as far as I know. The Jefferson Starship, that is. Now we're gonna go back to the sports desk where we see Mr. Jeff Oski sitting in for Chick McGee. What's going on over there?

[Jeff Oskay]

Unfortunately, a little sad news. You guys remember Lois Loriola's sister, Jean?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

She just retired.

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, she just died.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, my God.

[Jeff Oskay]

At 106. The university announced her death on Thursday night. She became an international celebrity during the team's 2018 Final Four run. And there was even a bobblehead of her likeness. Unfortunately, she had to step down because of some health issues. Sister Jean published a memoir in 2023, sharing her life lessons.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, she did.

[Bob Kevoian]

106.

[Jeff Oskay]

You said 106 years old.

[Tom Griswold]

That memoir is really nice, but that'll.

[Bob Kevoian]

Teach you to retire. You know what they say.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

You have nothing to live for.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, we, we know how you feel about it. Yeah, that's. What a wonderful lady.

[Jeff Oskay]

She was. So awesome.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

106. That's. That's a good run.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man, that's really something.

[Jeff Oskay]

And then we have a world record 700 pull ups in an hour by a lady. An Australian police off officer has broken the Guinness world record for the most pull ups in one hour. Female Ms. Jade Henderson, 32, completed 733 pull ups to beat the previous record of 725 that stood for nearly a decade.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's in an hour. How many have you done in your lifetime?

[Jeff Oskay]

Way less than 733.

[Bob Kevoian]

Do we have a picture of this woman?

[Tom Griswold]

Do we know if they were strict pull ups or kip pull ups or was she able to cycle them? How was she doing it?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, Is it, is it, is it wrists out or wrists in?

[Tom Griswold]

I would think wrists out because that's a pull up.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, a pull up. A pull up. A pull up. Let me. Your palms are away from your Face. Okay. A. Chin up. Your palms are towards your face.

[Jess Hooker]

Gotcha.

[Bob Kevoian]

Right?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Okay, you're right.

[Jess Hooker]

Did the ROTC ever come to your high school? And they'd be like, oh, hop on here and let's see how many pull ups you can do and see if he should go in the army. And we're like, what? I just want.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, we have a T shirt.

[Jess Hooker]

Get out of here.

[Bob Kevoian]

We. We called it the spaz contest.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, that's. Is that okay?

[Bob Kevoian]

Is that bad? Is that.

[Tom Griswold]

Why would you call it that, though?

[Bob Kevoian]

It was the. It was technically the all around athletic contest.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

And everyone had to go through it every year at my high school.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Everyone referred to it as the spaz contest.

[Tom Griswold]

Weird.

[Bob Kevoian]

Is that word. I don't mean to be mean here. No, is that word okay?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't think it's. It has the. I mean, historically, it's not okay. Nowadays, no one remembers how. How pejorative it was. So you're fine.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, well, I went to an all boys school and pejorative was sort of the name of the game. You know, we had a guy that. That everyone referred to as. I can't even say it though. Do we have. That is. Have we lost Jason, Our producer is.

[Tom Griswold]

Not even in the building.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay? I.

[Tom Griswold]

He loves being where he's not. Nobody hates being where he should be.

[Bob Kevoian]

Is he fixing the coffee machines? What's happening? There is a photograph of this woman. She is nothing but senu and muscle.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, wow.

[Willie G]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

She is very muscular.

[Jess Hooker]

And this is in Australia, you said?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. Do they?

[Jeff Oskay]

Police officer.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, nice.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, I wouldn't. I wouldn't.

[Jess Hooker]

They let girls do that?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, they. We like to. That was just a little treat.

[Bob Kevoian]

She's a. She is a super badass.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, Jason's back. Jason, sorry to bother you.

[Bob Kevoian]

We.

[Tom Griswold]

We were wondering, you being the producer, if you would produce a picture of.

[Jeff Oskay]

This.

[Bob Kevoian]

Lady doing the pull ups.

[Tom Griswold]

Look at him.

[Jess Hooker]

Hey, when you got a poop, you gotta poop.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's Mike giving me the finger.

[Tom Griswold]

I get it. I see what you're doing.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's our logo.

[Bob Kevoian]

There we go.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh.

[Jeff Oskay]

Whoa. Oh, wow.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay, now your thoughts, Ms. Hooker, on this woman?

[Jess Hooker]

Ah, I'm feeling something. Yeah, she's. She's very muscular. Got that V shape. Rocking.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. Wow. The bra. The bra seems. The bra seems unnecessary. There's nothing there.

[Jess Hooker]

In fairness, you're right.

[Bob Kevoian]

Do they. The Guinness people test for steroids, you think?

[Jess Hooker]

I don't know. I don't know. Maybe they're. Maybe there's.

[Tom Griswold]

There's Nothing. I don't look at her and say. And see steroids.

[Jess Hooker]

No, that's. That's. That's a woman who has worked really hard.

[Jeff Oskay]

Exactly.

[Bob Kevoian]

You think?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, for sure.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. I don't know. Those. Those biceps look.

[Tom Griswold]

No, yeah, they look exactly. I don't know.

[Bob Kevoian]

Is that possible?

[Tom Griswold]

Don't you. You go to a gym. Don't you see women like that?

[Bob Kevoian]

Not like that.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. She looks like. Oh, you don't go to the gyms? I go.

[Bob Kevoian]

She looks like a hulk.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

In. In any event, congratulations, ma'.

[Tom Griswold]

Am.

[Bob Kevoian]

We're going to move forward.

[Tom Griswold]

That's quite a feat.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now, coming up, we have. This is something I think will interest you a lot. Josh, have you ever heard of hybristophilia?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know what that is.

[Bob Kevoian]

It's the attraction of a woman to a male criminal.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, interesting. That's okay.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, that's.

[Tom Griswold]

That's quite a phenomenon.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, yeah. And. And it's. There's an interesting twist to it that I'm quite excited to pass along to all of you right now. I'm going to pass along some information You've been hearing about annuities on this show. I didn't even know what an annuity was. Then I found out about the Silac Insurance Company. Annuities are all about having money when you retire and having that money coming in on a regular basis. So here in the Bob and Tom show, we'd like to educate you a little more. We're gonna call this the. Let's see, what should we call it today? Since it's three questions. The Three Hooker. The Three Hooker. Sounds like some kind of a scoring move.

[Jess Hooker]

Maybe we go with my first name on this one.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay. Okay. It's welcome to Ask Jessica. Now, here's how it goes. I. I want to browse and read about the Silac annuity options. What is the Silac insurance company's website address?

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, Tom, that's easy. It's Silac ins dot com. That's S I L A c dash ins dot com.

[Bob Kevoian]

Very good, very good. Now I know. I love this idea. A 20% bonus by going from a 401k to a silenc annuity. Where do I find out information about that?

[Jess Hooker]

Again, real easy. Tomorrow, just go to silacins.com, click on the Bob and Tom logo to request more information.

[Bob Kevoian]

Very good, very good. Now, would you be kind enough to read the Silac disclaimer?

[Jess Hooker]

Actually, no. Can you go ahead and do it now?

[Bob Kevoian]

Premium bonus may vary by annuity product, premium band and surrender charge period selected and may be subject to a premium bonus recapture. Some products with bonuses may offer lower growth rates or capsules. Consult your financial advisor. Terms and conditions apply. See silacins.com disclosures. The Silac Insurance Company. They of course are responsible for that thing over there. The Silac Insurance news desk when we come back. Why do ladies fall in love with bad guys? Real bad guys. Also not great news from the world of flying cars.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. Setback.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes, the guilty party. Gravity. When we return to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Jess Hooker]

This episode is brought to you by cbs. DMV is a brand new workplace comedy turning misery into magic and chaos into comedy. Starring Harriet Dyer And Tim Meadows, DMV is here to serve you laughs. Watch October 13th at 8. 37. 30 Central on C CBS and streaming on Paramount Plus.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, you found us. The Bob and Tom Show. We are live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios where we can often be found happily.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Having fun, giggling like. Jess Hooker is at the Silac Insurance Company news desk.

[Bob Kevoian]

You notice that Josh, when he tries these ad libs, he has to pause and re. Get himself back on the tracks.

[Jess Hooker]

I, I appreciate it. We can have a breath. We can take a breath.

[Bob Kevoian]

You're advocating thinking while talking. You know, I'm, you know, I'm opposed to that.

[Jeff Oskay]

I.

[Bob Kevoian]

Absolutely not.

[Tom Griswold]

There's Jeff Oskay.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Ace Cosby. Hello, I'm Josh Arnold. There's Tom.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now, I've been very concerned about my Halloween candy giveaway. I think I want to get these. The old wax little mini bottles.

[Tom Griswold]

I like it.

[Bob Kevoian]

And you guys think they're terrible, but I think they're so cool. And then candy cigarettes.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

And then you put them in a little bag and then you put in a couple real candy bars and then maybe some chick. Let's just some throwback stuff.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

How about some Necco wafers?

[Bob Kevoian]

Those were awful.

[Jeff Oskay]

I loved them.

[Jess Hooker]

If you want.

[Bob Kevoian]

Really?

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, I was big. I like the, the host, the communion at church. And so we would play church with the Necco wafers.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, they were, they were tasteless. They tasted like chalk, right?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Like candy cigarettes kind of do.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Pez, Pez has a sweetness to it, a tartness.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. But pez, the cool thing is the delivery.

[Tom Griswold]

I love the PEZ dispenser, but not a great candy. But yeah, fine.

[Bob Kevoian]

But it's all, it's that, that's all about the journey.

[Tom Griswold]

Absolutely.

[Bob Kevoian]

Got this nice letter here. Dear Bob and Tom show. One of our neighbors dads worked for the Wonder Bread Company. Wow. Every year they gave out miniature loaves of Wonder Bread. They came in the exact same packaging as the regular loaves. We thought it was so cool. On the other hand, if they just handed out slices of Wonder Bread, we would have egged their.

[Jess Hooker]

That is cool.

[Bob Kevoian]

That is.

[Jeff Oskay]

That.

[Bob Kevoian]

See, that's fun.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, now we know you're better off eating candy.

[Jeff Oskay]

We had one house that did full size candy bars.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

And that was the first house everyone went. There'd be a line down the driveway.

[Bob Kevoian]

And we had this.

[Tom Griswold]

We never had it. No house, but, man, we loaded up. I mean, just. It was every house. We probably hit 80 houses. It was just.

[Jeff Oskay]

Would you do the. Come home and change costumes and go back out again?

[Tom Griswold]

No, no.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

We did that to get more candy. Oh, yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

No. Yeah. You doubled.

[Bob Kevoian]

This ghost just became a pirate. I'm about to go back and become a cowboy.

[Tom Griswold]

We didn't have to.

[Jeff Oskay]

To.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, our. Our neighborhoods were so vast and connecting that we. Yeah, yeah. You just didn't have to. It was. And it was packed.

[Jeff Oskay]

Packed.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now, did you do the exchange when it was all over, you get back with the three of your buddies, you pour them down on the living room floor.

[Tom Griswold]

My brothers. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

And you exchange. What did you. What did you get rid of? I know. I would always get rid of Good and Plenty, the worst candy ever made. I would get rid of licorice.

[Tom Griswold]

I was never a Gummies or a Smarties or a Spree or a Skittles. Anything like that I would get rid of.

[Bob Kevoian]

Were you allowed to eat the loose candy corn?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't think we often did. I think it was one of those things. We'd have one or two and go. Oh, yeah. We don't really like this, but every year we still have.

[Bob Kevoian]

And what's the secret to eating candy corn?

[Jess Hooker]

Now you eat it with salted peanuts and it tastes like a payday.

[Tom Griswold]

That really is tasty.

[Jess Hooker]

It is good. We just got some at home. That's very good.

[Bob Kevoian]

A friend of mine who was actually a qualified licensed physician would go to the movie theater and get those dots. Yeah. Which are essentially gummies, right?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

And he would put them in his popcorn.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, he wasn't an orthodontist.

[Jeff Oskay]

No.

[Bob Kevoian]

He was a surgeon. I probably. Or the end. They probably had to go in there and take out a big wad of goo.

[Tom Griswold]

Norman Bates liked his candy Corn. Remember, if you remember that he was always.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, Norman Bates Criminal is actually going to lead to a story we have coming up about the ladies that woo these murderers. Etc, Etc. Yeah, it's an interesting story. Are we done with sports?

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, we are so done.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, I do have an update.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, go ahead.

[Tom Griswold]

To something that just brought up earlier. A saying, a credo, if you will, from her past regarding the growth of one's bosom.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, you were doing that. That quote. What was it again?

[Jess Hooker]

I must, I must, I must increase my bus.

[Bob Kevoian]

And that's from.

[Tom Griswold]

We definitely know it's in a Judy Bloom book.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you there, God? It's me.

[Bob Kevoian]

And there's an exercise you do to do that.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I think in the. In Greece they do something like that where they're. They're.

[Tom Griswold]

The brush. A brush. A brush. A thing.

[Jess Hooker]

It might. That was. It's that scene.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

She does sleep over with her boobs. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

And so you're thrusting your elbows back at shoulder level.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I'm actually.

[Bob Kevoian]

And then pushing your arms together.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I'm flexing my chest as I push my palms together and making that motion.

[Bob Kevoian]

I think if you stand up and did that, we'd get some really good numbers on YouTube. Especially if Haas guy goes, it's working.

[Tom Griswold]

We're getting bigger. Nancy writes in. She says, I'm 66 and we were reciting it when I was in high school. She says, okay, there's more to. There's more to the poem. It's actually a limerick. We must, we must, we must increase the bust. The bigger the better, the tighter the sweater. The boys are depending on us. What?

[Bob Kevoian]

That is wonderful. What's her name again?

[Tom Griswold]

Nancy.

[Bob Kevoian]

Nancy. Write us back, Nancy. Have you ever heard the word falsies? No one here had ever heard. Had ever heard it but me. And there's some famous movie scene where some woman removes her bra and the two big falsies fall out. Is that Animal House? I forget which one it is, but we have another letter involving Mr. Oskar's tattoos.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, perfect.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now, you mentioned that you have quite a few actually.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

And one of them is really cool. I know one of them is a special tribute that I think is really great. But your first one, what was it again?

[Jeff Oskay]

My very first one was a snake and a. With a rose with a snake around it on my chest.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

When I was 18.

[Bob Kevoian]

Was that done in the guy's garage?

[Jeff Oskay]

No, that one was actually done at a tattoo shop.

[Bob Kevoian]

See, that's the way to go. If you're to get a tattoo, go to a pro.

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, I was 18, and I went to, like, the only place I knew, which back then was filled with bikers.

[Tom Griswold]

Sure.

[Jeff Oskay]

And so my little scrawny. That's that. And the tattoo artist would do this thing, like, every 30 or 45 seconds, where you go. It'd be going. And they go, ooh, I can fix that. And they thought it was hilarious.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

And so I got that, and then I got a skull. Half skull, half. Half smiley face. Like the yellow smiley face on my shoulder about a year later. And is it the.

[Tom Griswold]

Have a nice day smiley face? But. But part of it's like skin. So you see skull.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

You know, you could have had that. Put on a piece of paper and put in your wallet.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

I mean, you want to see it? You could probably look at this.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

So for my wife, and then I got the dolphin.

[Bob Kevoian]

For your first wife or second one?

[Jeff Oskay]

For my first wife.

[Bob Kevoian]

And then that's. That's now been turned into something else.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. Now it's just about big block of black.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now, you also said that this comes to us from Evan. He writes based on Jeff Oskar's dolphin and libra tattoos. What sorority did you look at? Thank you, Evan, sir.

[Jeff Oskay]

Evan, you are so right. Thank you.

[Bob Kevoian]

Want to see some cool biker tattoos? There's a TV show called Task. I think it's on hbo. I've been watching.

[Jeff Oskay]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

They've got some. They. There's a biker gang involved in it. The tattoos are great.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Mine are not.

[Bob Kevoian]

When they. When they. I'll have to ask Drew Powell when they do those. When actors do that, do they have to paint the tattoos on every day, or do they do those? I mean.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, you kind of hope they would last three weeks.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, they have those. Temporary tattoos do last, like, three or four weeks. I would assume that's what they do.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, I remember reading a news story last year at one of the big festivals. I forgot if it was Lollapalooza. One of them had a booth that was. That was doing temporary tattoos. Did you read the story? And a year later, they've. None of them have come off.

[Jess Hooker]

What?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Wow, that's.

[Jeff Oskay]

Jess probably knows this. That's popular at receptions now, wedding receptions, as they'll have a tattoo artist come in and do tiny tattoos on whoever wants tattoos.

[Tom Griswold]

Holy cow.

[Jeff Oskay]

Wedding reception.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Wow. Boy, I caught the bouquet. And hepatitis. That is mean. Like, real needle tattoos.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I always got excited when there was a photo Booth, Right.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. God.

[Tom Griswold]

Spike is sitting there.

[Bob Kevoian]

And for the 5,000th time, when we were doing our show in Louisville one day, one of the ladies that was present was. Had a tattoo removal business. And I've mentioned this several times. She said the one they remove the most and the most painful is the wedding ring tattoo, where a couple will get. They'll get it tatted on, and then.

[Jess Hooker]

When things go south, it is the most painful area.

[Bob Kevoian]

To return to a couple of stories, I got this. This letter here. Sad to hear about Sister Jean. Yes, Sister Jean is the. Was the loyal mascot. She retired a few months ago, and sadly, she's gone. This person writes, I look at it this way, Sister Jean has entered the transfer portal to heaven.

[Jeff Oskay]

Absolutely.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's sweet. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

I think she's partying with Ozzy.

[Bob Kevoian]

All right. Maybe getting to mend his way.

[Tom Griswold]

May I speak to you, sir?

[Bob Kevoian]

Dear Bob and Tom show, especially Jess Hooker, longtime listener. You guys helped me start my workday with a laugh. I want to especially recognize Jess for her awesome attempt at her Latin accent. By the way, my name is Tammy, which makes it even more important to me. Thanks for all you do. Well, thank you, Tammy.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, why don't you say hello to Tammy and said fashion.

[Jeff Oskay]

It's probably better now.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I don't. They. I don't. I don't think so. I don't think it's better. And why you guys don't let Tom do accents? Why would you want me to do one?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, why do we think. That is a good question. Again, why do we think you would not get.

[Bob Kevoian]

This Was this was the first time you were ever on the air? You were working with Tammy Pescatelli with a script. I believe Dean was producing this and you were asked to do, apparently a. Was this supposed to be a Latin.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, for sure.

[Bob Kevoian]

Once again, here it is.

[Jess Hooker]

Hi, Tammy. How are things in the produce department today? To be honest, Maria, I'm not feeling well.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now, you can see Tammy really sells it.

[Jess Hooker]

She didn't have to do an accent.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, yeah, she was able to focus on performance.

[Jess Hooker]

I'm sorry to hear that. Are you seek.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's the great part. Are you seeking? Well, the request is to hear the whole piece.

[Jess Hooker]

No, it's not.

[Bob Kevoian]

Do I have to hand this to Ace again? Here we go. This is the debut of Jess Hooker on the Bob and Tom program.

[Jess Hooker]

Hi, Tammy. How are things in the products department today? To be honest, Maria, I'm not feeling well. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Are you sick?

[Bob Kevoian]

Actually, I'm Constipated constipation. It's a terrible feeling. But don't take those nasty tasting laxatives or drink those putrid fiber drinks. Now, thanks to Roberto y Tomas Foods, you can become regular while enjoying a tasty snack.

[Jess Hooker]

Here's something you should try, Tammy. A tortilla chip. I don't think so, Maria. I'm not really feeling very hungry. Oh, but this is a different snack chip, Tammy. It promotes regularity. What are they called? Cheetos. Cheetos, that's right.

[Bob Kevoian]

Cheetos. And Cheetos can have you back to feeling like your normal self again within hours. Eat a handful before going to bed and let Cheetos work their magic overnight.

[Jess Hooker]

Feeling better today, Tammy? I sure am. Thanks to you.

[Bob Kevoian]

And Cheetos.

[Jess Hooker]

They work, don't they? Do they ever. Cheetos taste great and works fast. I had a few more on the way out of the house this morning. And oops.

[Bob Kevoian]

Clean up Cheetos, the snack chip that relieves constipation. Cheetos in three great flavors, including Cool Stool Ranch cut in nacho cheese and of course, very regular. Try shitos today. There you go.

[Jeff Oskay]

There.

[Bob Kevoian]

A little bit of Cheetos. See, I can't be. My accent isn't at all offensive because you can't tell what sphere that is an Esperanto.

[Tom Griswold]

Is it Dracula?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Is Italian.

[Jeff Oskay]

I thought I heard some Dracula.

[Bob Kevoian]

Maybe Esperanto accent. I'm not sure what that is. Okay, what's coming up in the world of news? I know we have this thing about ladies who fall in love with murderers.

[Jess Hooker]

We do have that story.

[Tom Griswold]

Can you help explain that? Do you have any bad boy? Sort of of.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, man. I, I, you know what? If I did have to say one, it would be like Charlie Sheen. That's okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

That would be my Go to a misbehavior. Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

As opposed to a murderer.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes. But they're, they're, I mean, I've, I've seen it online where women will see a guy's mug shot and then they start sending them letters and their panties and all kinds of things to jail.

[Jeff Oskay]

I follow a page called Mug Shawties.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

And it's Hot Girls Mugshots.

[Tom Griswold]

I have seen some of those. Yeah. Funny. Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Do you ever write them letters?

[Jeff Oskay]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Send pictures of your tattoos, but mug. Is it mug Shoddies, as in hotties or shorties?

[Jess Hooker]

Shorties.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I thought it was kind of a shorties thing too.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, it is. It's like shorties. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Does anybody have a Tattoo of their mug shot.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, maybe.

[Bob Kevoian]

Good and for God, one, it is.

[Jess Hooker]

You know what? It's not a bad picture of them, to be honest.

[Tom Griswold]

It is. They're way worse mug shots.

[Jeff Oskay]

I'll get a tattoo of Godwin's mug shot on me. That'd be fun.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm just waiting for you to open your wallet.

[Bob Kevoian]

I got, I've got a guy I can get, I can get that done. Well, when we come back, we're going to find out about, about the, the girls that want to hook up with very, very bad guys. And we're also going to talk with Willie G son number two. He is going to be in Peoria at the Jukebox Comedy Club tonight, tomorrow with Colin Unger. Also Greg Morton, if you heard Greg yesterday. Terrific guest. Of course. He's going to be in Greenwood, Indiana tonight at the event center and then tomorrow night in Terre Haute, Indiana at the Zora Shrine. We're coming right back to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

Want to share something? Send us an email, Bob and [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Jess Hooker]

This episode is brought to you by Diet Coke.

[Bob Kevoian]

You know that moment when you just.

[Jess Hooker]

Need to hit pause and refresh. An ice cold Diet Coke isn't just a break. It's your chance to catch your breath and savor a moment that's all about you. Always refreshing. Still the same great taste. Diet Coke make time for you. Time.

[Bob Kevoian]

Art.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom show live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Jess Hooker is sitting at the Silac Insurance Company news desk.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello, Jeff.

[Tom Griswold]

Oscar is there. Hey, man. I think he has a special treat for us later on. There's Ace Cosby. I'm Josh Arnold. Tom. Happy day to you, sir.

[Bob Kevoian]

Thank you. I'm plotting my Halloween stuff right now.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, good. Isn't it fun to plan? I think I'm going. I'm going. Nerd ropes again. Those were huge last.

[Jeff Oskay]

Dude, those are great.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, I want to do something special. I like the little bags full of different candy and I'll ask Kelly if she'll let me do the candy cigarettes and the little pop bottles full of.

[Tom Griswold]

That don't ask permission. You ask forgiveness. You know that.

[Bob Kevoian]

And then you like. How about those sticks full of what is essentially some kind of a hyper sugar. Like it's got more sugar than sugar sticks. Yeah, those are great.

[Jess Hooker]

Fun dips. Remember fun dips.

[Tom Griswold]

I always liked the stick way more than the powder me Too delicious.

[Bob Kevoian]

The fun dips are cool.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Now, what was your favorite to get when you would trick or treat? Like, what was the killer candy that you were?

[Bob Kevoian]

I liked the wax because it was one of those things you never got. You never went to the store and got the wax. Little Coke bottles full of that syrupy junk.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

It was just fun to give a chance to try some weird stuff.

[Jeff Oskay]

I didn't know you were just supposed to bite the top off and drink the stuff out. I would just eat them.

[Tom Griswold]

The first time I had one, I learned that. Yes. Wow.

[Bob Kevoian]

That had to be an interesting fecal event.

[Jeff Oskay]

No, I ate him, too.

[Bob Kevoian]

You hate him, too.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, but you chose to.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, I didn't. I. I just found out today that you weren't supposed to eat the whole thing.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Probably.

[Bob Kevoian]

Probably good for your digestive system.

[Jeff Oskay]

I was a real dummy.

[Tom Griswold]

Slides right out, crapping candles.

[Jeff Oskay]

I saw them open for I beat you.

[Bob Kevoian]

I was just gonna say I saw them at Bonnaroo open for the Dave Matthews Band crapping candles. And they got their lead singer back.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. Now, we're currently building a trellis for my front door.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that right?

[Bob Kevoian]

And then Amy is going to be spray painting, like, 40 little mini skeletons. Yeah, so. So the skeletons are going to be on the trellis.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. That's fun. It's called a porch scape.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, really?

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

I didn't even know that.

[Jess Hooker]

Porch scaping.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, cool.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, it's when you landscape your porch. It's called.

[Bob Kevoian]

And then we've got the witches.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, sorry.

[Bob Kevoian]

We've got. We've got the witches up already, but yeah, then I want to get some of those portable lights so that the porch escape, as you described it, will be eerily lit.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that'll be good.

[Jess Hooker]

That'd be fun.

[Jeff Oskay]

Go to the dry ice so it gets the fog.

[Bob Kevoian]

Ooh, that sounds complicated. So the answer is yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, you are.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's cool.

[Jess Hooker]

So do people come up to your porch and into your home for trick or treating, or do you guys set up in the driveway?

[Bob Kevoian]

No, they can come in.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

Last year, it got. Was it last year that it got real cold?

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

And I ended up with 40 strangers having a cocktail party at my house.

[Jess Hooker]

That's fun.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, sounds terrible. I'm with you.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, it was great. We had cookies, and I opened up the bar. Had no idea who these people were.

[Jess Hooker]

It's a good way to meet your neighbors.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, that. In fact, in my old neighborhood, that was the only time I'd ever meet my neighbors. And it was. What was really cool was where I used to live, a lot of the houses were very old.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, the. My whole. My old house was built in 1924, so it was really cool to go in these really cool old houses.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

And try to figure out a way to not just check out the vestibule or the lobby. Don't you think as an adult, it's fun to go in someone else's house and look around?

[Jess Hooker]

I love it. They do tours of certain parts of. Of our town here where you can look at different homes and stuff. And I think it's. It's fun. It'll inspire different decorating or a paint color. Oh, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now, do you ever do the thing where you put the speaker outside with the scary music?

[Tom Griswold]

I always have music going. Yeah. But I don't get too scary because there are a lot of little kids in there. But you know the Ghostbusters, Monster mash. Yeah, that's on there. Time warp and. Yeah. A few other things.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, it's good. Did you. When you were. Had three brothers.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Did you guys plot out? Because you said you'd go to like 90 houses. Did you plot out a route like you were planning D day with Eisenhower?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, we would typically. And there would also be our neighbor buddies, so. And sometimes we would split up. Like Jeff, my older brother, would go with his buddies. And then. Yeah, maybe John and I want, you know, one. And yeah. So we always had routes planned. Yeah. And then we just tried to see how far we could get. And occasionally we'd have to check in with the parents because it felt like it was like a three, four hour thing.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And I mean, there were kids. It was just every house. The sidewalks were packed. It was. My memories of Halloween are so wonderful. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

I still remember the one guy, the one year in Hardwick Road that had the hot dogs.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, that's a great idea.

[Bob Kevoian]

You'd be walking down my street or you're walking down Wimbledon and someone would go, hot dogs, Hardwick, right by Green Road. What? Everyone would turn around and go over there.

[Tom Griswold]

And this was regional because I remember mentioning this on the air. And you all thought. You looked at me like I was absolutely nuts. We had to tell a joke. You had to have. You had a Halloween joke. And so when you would show up to get candy, they would say, what's your joke? And you had to tell your joke to get a treat.

[Jeff Oskay]

I never heard of anything like that.

[Tom Griswold]

Everyone in St. Louis, that's what you did. So I can't believe it didn't make its way to work for it out to.

[Bob Kevoian]

Can you imagine little John Fox?

[Jess Hooker]

So there's this firefighter.

[Bob Kevoian]

Trick or treat. Tell me a joke.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

So two firefighters are in a smoke filled room.

[Tom Griswold]

Where's the boat? Oh yeah. It was always. Hey, do you have your joke ready? Yeah. Oh yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Do you remember any of your jokes?

[Tom Griswold]

They were. No, I don't. They were typically Halloween themed or something like that but. And so now I ask my nieces and nephews what? You have your joke ready? Yes, and I make them tell me over the phone if I don't see.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's great.

[Jess Hooker]

You critique and rewrite.

[Jeff Oskay]

Punch it up for him.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, I would love if those listening would send us a Halloween candy. Suggestions? Yeah, but I think I'm gonna go online and buy these.

[Tom Griswold]

The little mini bottles you know what's still wildly popular? Ring pops. Yes, those. Every kid loves a ring.

[Bob Kevoian]

We saw the list. The number one was Reese's peanut butter cups. So throw those in too. But have some interesting and exotic things.

[Jess Hooker]

But have some seasonal. Make sure that your Reese's. Reese's are Halloween ones. Seasonal. Yeah. Cuz you don't want old ones. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't buy this. I've never understood what Chick's talking about when he says this.

[Jess Hooker]

Next time I get one, I'm bringing it to you.

[Tom Griswold]

An old Reese's cup. And I bet it's still better than most things on the. On earth.

[Jess Hooker]

It's. No, it's not. It's dusty. There's a film. It's different.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, that's gross.

[Tom Griswold]

It's all part of it, right?

[Bob Kevoian]

Well now I'm speaking of scary things and Halloween and stuff. This is a really interesting article about how certain women are attracted to criminals. And there's an interesting component. This. We have time, I think, to do this.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay. A new study has found a link between TikTok content and a woman's sexual attraction to criminals. The attraction is known as high bristophilia.

[Bob Kevoian]

High bristophilia. B R I S. Which by the way, it sounds like you'd be someone who gets turned on watching circumcisions. He's got hyper estophilia. I gotta go to the bris.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's not invite your cousin anymore.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Researchers say that it might be emerging in younger generations through digital platforms. Researchers examined videos and comments that glorified or romanticized criminals, both real and fictional, and found that women minimize the severity of crimes committed by individuals who are considered conventionally attractive.

[Tom Griswold]

This is this year, this app, we've seen this a couple times majorly in the last few years.

[Bob Kevoian]

This is the Menendez brothers phenomenon.

[Jess Hooker]

A little.

[Tom Griswold]

A hole's name or whatever his name is.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. The study noted that attraction toward actors who portrayed infamous criminals such as Zac Efron playing Ted Bundy or Evan Peters playing Jeffrey Dahmer was often transferred to the real life offenders.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. And obviously Zac Efron, incredibly handsome man.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Ted Bundy.

[Tom Griswold]

Bundy was absolutely handsome.

[Bob Kevoian]

Do you think so?

[Tom Griswold]

That was part of the whole thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's how he got away with it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. But he. But not Zack Efron.

[Jess Hooker]

No, no, not that level. Yeah. Videos tended to glorify themes of loyalty where violent actions were framed as expressions of deep devotion.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

He really cares if he's going to go to that. This is awful.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes. The analysis also highlighted a belief that love could reform a lawbreaker, a theme that researchers call. I can fix him.

[Bob Kevoian]

Him.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

So these guys, a lot of these guys on death row got.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Married.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes. That, that's a very common type of account on Tik Tok is they fall in love with an offender and then they marry them while they're in prison and they basically go through what their life is and when he gets out and she picks him up, it's, it's insane.

[Bob Kevoian]

And isn't one of the Menendez brothers.

[Jess Hooker]

I think they have many fans that send them. Yeah. Love letters and.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

Visits.

[Bob Kevoian]

They blew off their parents heads with a shotgun. Okay. I can fix them. Okay. Good to know. Coming up, we have an interesting remedy. If you're having back pain that involves swallowing frogs. We have a. I guess the only word is a testicle attack in the buckeye state. The phrase testicle clearly exposed is in the story. So we'll certainly look forward to finding out how that comes out. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Catch any part of the show you missed later today on our YouTube channel.

[Bob Kevoian]

We are the musers on the pod.

[Announcer]

So far we've discussed people we love.

[Bob Kevoian]

I didn't tell you guys.

[Willie G]

Cuban email.

[Tom Griswold]

What are you wearing?

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, no, that's not.

[Bob Kevoian]

Things we love got way into typewriters.

[Tom Griswold]

How many typewriters do you own?

[Bob Kevoian]

Let's not podcast anymore.

[Jeff Oskay]

Guesstimate.

[Bob Kevoian]

It's time to get really down and dirty. These are great ideas. Start a podcast and forget to promote it on social media.

[Tom Griswold]

So what is our podcast about?

[Bob Kevoian]

Whatever we feel like the Musers, the podcast.

[Announcer]

Follow and listen on your favorite platform.

[Bob Kevoian]

All coming up.

[Tom Griswold]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Good folks, there's Jess Hooker at the Silac Insurance Company news desk.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello.

[Tom Griswold]

Jeff Oskay there.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes, sir.

[Tom Griswold]

Who just told us that he would not date Eileen Warnos.

[Jeff Oskay]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

The female serial killer portrayed in the movie Monster. I think that's a wise decision. There's Ace Cosby. Okay. I am Josh Arnold. There's Tom, although portrayed by Charlize Theron.

[Jess Hooker]

But look like her.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no. She looks like Eileen in that movie, doesn't she?

[Bob Kevoian]

Now, we were discussing this because we had a news article about women who fall in love with criminals on death row. Etc. Etc.

[Jess Hooker]

Hybristophilia.

[Tom Griswold]

Hybristophilia. How about that?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. Now, on a much lighter note, dear Bob and Tom, I learned what karma was.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

Trick or treating. A house had a note on the door reading, we couldn't be home. Happy Halloween. Take one and leave the rest for others. There was a big glass bowl full of candy. This guy dumped the entire bowl of candy into his bag, then threw the bowl into the street, shattering glass all over.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, man.

[Bob Kevoian]

A few streets over, some older boys who didn't like this guy in the first place took all his candy with the exception of an apple that they smashed on his head. That's how I learned what karma means. Well, thank you for the letter. We certainly appreciate these letters.

[Tom Griswold]

That's tough.

[Bob Kevoian]

We also heard again from Nancy who had written earlier.

[Tom Griswold]

Nancy with a smiling face.

[Bob Kevoian]

Nancy, yeah. She writes, yes, Tom, I am aware of falsies.

[Jeff Oskay]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

Once again, she sent us the poem that begins. How does it begin again?

[Jess Hooker]

I must, I must, I must increase my bust.

[Tom Griswold]

The bigger the better, the tighter the sweater. The boys are depending on us.

[Bob Kevoian]

Which apparently is a classic poem. Yeah. Right up there with whose source this is. I think I know a little bit of Robert Frost. I'm not sure who wrote that great poem, but I was wondering if she grew up in. Had heard of falsies, which apparently. What do they call them now? Cutlets.

[Jess Hooker]

Chicken cutlets. Yeah, I don't, I don't know what the name is for them now.

[Bob Kevoian]

So if you, if you go into a store, where do they sell? Are they sold at drugstores?

[Jess Hooker]

The fake they. You know what? They do have a version at the drugstore they do. But you would go and get them where you would get your underclothes, your bras and your underpants.

[Bob Kevoian]

So are they on a rack?

[Jess Hooker]

No, they usually come in like a plastic container, like.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they're called inserts. According to most things. Yeah. You have your.

[Bob Kevoian]

Do they give. Do they size them with a number system?

[Jess Hooker]

I mean, the same. I think a cup, B cup. It would be. It would be that.

[Tom Griswold]

Different flesh tones.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes. Yeah, different flesh tones.

[Bob Kevoian]

Do they have fun names like hubba hubba?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, here we'll find out the best silicone bra inserts. We'll see what some of these names are. Nude wear. Although it's pronounced or it's spelled nud. Where? Nud. Where?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Have you ever used these, Jess? Just for. Because don't some women use them to even. Maybe I'm. I could be way wrong here. I probably am.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

To help keep dresses up and things when they're not.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Wearing a bra or something like that.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes, there are. So there are some that have a sticky adhesive and you would take it off and you. And you lift your. You lift your breast and you put the adhesive on there. And then it's like a. Almost like an ACE bandage. You can pull it up because if you have a low cut dress that cuts down to your belly button, you don't want to see a bra in the middle. So you have these adhesive ones that'll lift it up.

[Bob Kevoian]

Up.

[Jess Hooker]

But they basically like strap onto your shoulders with sticky tape and hold everything up like.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Can you move?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Can you dance? Like at a reception?

[Jess Hooker]

You can, but you. I don't recommend it in the warmer.

[Jeff Oskay]

Months, you know, one let loose and then you got a hanger and a floater.

[Tom Griswold]

A hanger and a floater.

[Jess Hooker]

Then you got two T's right here. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, we were discussing this because before the show began, for some reason, Ms. Hooker was reciting the poem offer and I walk in.

[Tom Griswold]

In and hear that. Tom, did your mother or sister have falsies anywhere in the house?

[Bob Kevoian]

Not to my knowledge.

[Tom Griswold]

Would you have played with them? I mean, it seems very.

[Bob Kevoian]

I think I would have slept with them, certainly. Well, I'm perhaps gone steady with them, but as I recall, no. I don't remember ever finding any shoulder pads.

[Tom Griswold]

Could make a poor man's falsy.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Wouldn't they?

[Tom Griswold]

We would actually. We would kind of.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, I'm a girl.

[Tom Griswold]

That kind of. Oh, really?

[Jeff Oskay]

While he was roller skating in his basement.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, boy. My dad's just calling the army. Can I get back in, please?

[Jeff Oskay]

I'll take a third tour. Please.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, send me anywhere.

[Bob Kevoian]

I know we're out of Vietnam anyway. Anything else going on? Any action? Bullets. Let's go back over to the SILAC Insurance news desk. Jess Hooker. Jess Hooker. Excuse me. Me Jess Hooker is sitting in for Christy Lee, who's over in England right now. What do you got, Jess?

[Jess Hooker]

An octogenarian from China was hospitalized after eating eight live frogs. The 82 year old had been suffering from a herniated disc and had heard of the folk remedy that live frogs could help relieve pain.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that right?

[Jess Hooker]

Yes. After swallowing the frogs, she developed severe abdominal pain and was taking to Hangzhou. The hospital.

[Tom Griswold]

Hi, I'm Hung Joe.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, you've probably seen me in. In all hands on dick.

[Jess Hooker]

Their doctors determined the woman had a parasitic infection.

[Tom Griswold]

Great. Now what worldwide virus are we all gonna get?

[Jess Hooker]

She was treated for two weeks before she was discharged from the hospital.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, apparently she's still feeling a little jumpy.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, she's lucky she didn't croak.

[Bob Kevoian]

Advil, Tadpole. They sound the same. Now. I was trying to think of something the other day. Speaking of. Of. Of things. That from China is. Is that the origin of General. Do you pronounce it so?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I say so. That's how I heard it pronounced. Huh.

[Bob Kevoian]

Because I was wondering, are there any other military. You got Colonel Sanders?

[Tom Griswold]

Chicken, Right?

[Bob Kevoian]

You got a colonel, you got a. You got a General.

[Tom Griswold]

Sure.

[Bob Kevoian]

Any other military designations for food? I. I was thinking maybe Captain Morgan, but that's booze.

[Jess Hooker]

Captain Crunch.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, there we go.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that's a capping. Really?

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay, technically, yeah, let's be.

[Jeff Oskay]

What was the off brand of that? Wasn't it like Admiral?

[Jess Hooker]

Yes, it was. Yes.

[Jeff Oskay]

Admiral's booty. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

There was a generic version of Captain.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, it was Admiral something. And it came in a bag. Like it didn't even come in a box.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, all the off brand cereal came in a bag.

[Bob Kevoian]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. Down on the bottom shelf of the aisles.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, wow. I never experienced that.

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, it wasn't in your eyeline. They kept that down.

[Bob Kevoian]

But when I saw this article, I looked up some other outrageous cures.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, no.

[Bob Kevoian]

And obviously this. This is an old Chinese thing swallowing frogs, which is obviously could kill you.

[Tom Griswold]

Go ahead and knock that off. Chinese people.

[Bob Kevoian]

Have you ever heard of this one? Early American settlers had some strange notions when it came to curing acne. Okay, you don't think about someone having zits in 1776. But of course they did. One called for applying human urine to your face.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh.

[Bob Kevoian]

Or to bathe in a bathtub of urine for your pimpled skin.

[Tom Griswold]

A full tub.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. Yeah. How about this one? Cutting the lining from a chicken gizzard to cure diarrhea. Let it dry, put it in boiling water to make tea.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, my gosh.

[Bob Kevoian]

Chicken gizzard tea. That would taste terrible.

[Jess Hooker]

No, thanks.

[Bob Kevoian]

Have you ever heard this one? Dirty socks cure sore throats.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, come on.

[Jess Hooker]

I. I have to admit, when my kids were little and they were sick, we would cut an onion in half and put the. The. The fresh cut side of the onion up against their feet. And that's how they would.

[Tom Griswold]

Of course, you, Greg Warren did that for a while.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, it's. It.

[Tom Griswold]

It's still out there.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, it works.

[Tom Griswold]

When I say Greg Warren did that for a while, I mean like six years ago.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

You apply what to your feet?

[Jess Hooker]

Fresh cut onion.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay. This says. This is another one for the sore throat. Is. Apply salt herring to the soles of your feet. Is salt herring. Is that that fish?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, it's fish.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. Geez.

[Jeff Oskay]

So did the onion thing work? I've seen.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, but we did a number of other things too. Like we would. The kids would have.

[Jeff Oskay]

Doesn't like the onion come out black? Yeah, it's like the next day or something.

[Jess Hooker]

I don't know. It's.

[Bob Kevoian]

It's drops of urine in an earache.

[Jess Hooker]

I've heard that. And I've heard cigarette smoke in your ear for an earache.

[Bob Kevoian]

Or stuff a painful ear with a moist wad of chewing tobacco.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh.

[Bob Kevoian]

Or blow smoke into the ear.

[Jeff Oskay]

Isn't garlic oil considered, like, good?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I fermented full cloves of garlic. I'm gonna regret saying this. And honey. And that's another thing. As soon as the kids feel sick or we feel sick, you chew on a honey garlic clove.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

At least it's gonna keep other people away. They won't be contagious.

[Bob Kevoian]

Here we go. It's right here. An old traditional memory booster calls for dipping garlic cloves in chocolate and eating one to three of them a day.

[Jeff Oskay]

Man.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, you're. You're right on for this.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know if I do any of this, you guys. I mean, obviously Jess is.

[Jess Hooker]

We still do it. My kids have never had strep throat. They've never had ear infections. They've. They've. They've been very healthy kids, so.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. That's amazing.

[Jess Hooker]

I know. It is amazing.

[Bob Kevoian]

This One North Carolinian folk remedy for a bad back.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

Lie down, and when you hear the call of a whippoorwill roll over three times.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, wow.

[Bob Kevoian]

Pretty nutty.

[Tom Griswold]

What if it works so well?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And then we all just. It didn't happen for 40 years. Then somebody read a journal and went, well, that's quackery. And now we're just not doing it. But it's.

[Jess Hooker]

The most effective treatment.

[Bob Kevoian]

There we go. Turpentine. Apply it to your shingles.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yikes. I know.

[Jess Hooker]

Iodine on the throat.

[Bob Kevoian]

Throat.

[Jess Hooker]

When you have a sore throat.

[Tom Griswold]

That's one on the outside.

[Jess Hooker]

Yep. On the outside.

[Tom Griswold]

I have seen that. Like, I've seen.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay, this was. This one's grossing me out. If you have a cold sore in your lip, poop on it. Apply ear. Apply earwax.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, man.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. Okay, I've had enough. I've had enough. Now, what's coming up in the news?

[Jess Hooker]

Flying cars. Except they're not doing much flying. And would you want to know what your dog was saying while he was barking?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

And a lady goes. Goes ham on a guy. Scrotum. Guys. It's. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And we'll also find out what goes ham means.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, sorry.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, I'm. I look forward to it.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, I definitely can't say it on the radio.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, we will find out.

[Bob Kevoian]

I have no idea.

[Jeff Oskay]

You've never heard that term?

[Tom Griswold]

I haven't either.

[Bob Kevoian]

Goes ham.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

All right. So a lady can go ham on something blank. Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Oh, that's what you can go ham on. Anything.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay, I want to find out exactly why. Okay, right now, I want to remind you, before somebody goes ham on your testicle, which is apparently what's happening in that news story. You want to protect your house. Of course. That's where Simply Safe comes in. That's why we all trust Simply Safe. In fact, we've even got it here at the radio station. We learned about Simply Safe many, many years ago. Chick Magee walked in. He goes, you're not going to believe this. Took me half an hour to install a security system at my house. He was the first of us to give it a shot. And we're all big fans. Simplisafe can actually stop a crime before it starts because they take action while a criminal is still lurking outside your home. The moment someone steps onto your property, AI Security cameras identify the threat and alert Simplisafe's professional monitoring agents. There are a whole bunch of different programs you can get set up with Simplisafe Go online and find out all the details. You can install it yourself or you can have their experts come install it for you with or without their 24. Seven monitoring agents. SimpliSafe. I use it. You should too. More than 4 million Americans are trusting Simplisafe with their home security every day. You might have seen those great TV commercials with the dogs. They're very, very funny. 60 day. What does that mean? A 60 day money back guarantee and no long term contract. Right now, Bob and Tom show listeners can save a staggering 50% on a SimpliSafe home security system. Go to SimpliSafeTom.com. that's SimpliSafeTom.com. there's no safe like Simplisafe. And by the way, I think Chick Magee gets the Simplisafe award. I believe he has 11 cameras right now so he can look at his phone and go, look, my dog is trying to do something to that person. Okay, good. We'll find out about all that stuff coming up. We have going ham. Going ham on a testicle. I really don't know what that means. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey there, Bob and Tom Show. Here live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Who the hell are you? Jess Hooker is sitting at the side like insurance company.

[Jess Hooker]

You got it right. Yeah, that's me.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hilarious.

[Tom Griswold]

There's Jeff Oskay. Ace Cosby's there. Hello, I'm Josh Arnold. There's Tom.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, wow. Sorry.

[Tom Griswold]

What?

[Bob Kevoian]

Had a zit inside my nose.

[Tom Griswold]

Never fun.

[Bob Kevoian]

And I. It's finally almost got. I really. I wanted to go to some kind of a surgeon and go in there.

[Jeff Oskay]

I remember it. I had horrible acne growing up. And I remember at like 16 being. I can't wait till I become an adult so I never have to deal with a pimple again. Oh, that. For the rest of your life.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No matter, no matter who you are, everybody gets. Oh, can you imagine? And the president is late to the news conference. Apparently he has a zit.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, the one right on the. That rim of your nose. It'll tear you up.

[Tom Griswold]

That's really painful in an event.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm sorry. I believe it's now time. Are we gonna do the, the Bob and Tom players. You guys are not familiar with this script because.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, we're doing a players.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes. And I think Jason has taken the time and trouble to designate a part for all of us.

[Jess Hooker]

You don't, don't give me one we.

[Bob Kevoian]

We do need someone. We do need someone to portray a little boy. So who is that you want to have. You want to have double A do that? Okay. Okay, good. Could we get our newest. A newest staff member? Uh, we, uh, the Aaron is here with us, and he's gonna join. There we go. Uh, young Aaron.

[Jess Hooker]

Aaron.

[Bob Kevoian]

He looks kind of like, uh, Jerry Garcia. A little bit.

[Tom Griswold]

You want to say Cherry Garcia of the Grateful Dead.

[Bob Kevoian]

You've got the same kind of aviator glasses. Because as Tom says, I am very rotund. You're a man of a certain size. I'm not being critical.

[Tom Griswold]

It's just. No, he's being critical.

[Bob Kevoian]

This is radio show. Just show him his lines. Okay. This is. You're portraying a little boy. Can you do a little boy voice? I think so. That's very good. And let's see, Mr. Oscar, you'll be portraying the dad.

[Jeff Oskay]

Perfect.

[Bob Kevoian]

And then a. A. You are. What's your actual name again?

[Tom Griswold]

Aaron.

[Bob Kevoian]

Aaron. Okay, good.

[Willie G]

You get the first two letters right every time.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

And then I'll be announcer one. Josh, you're announcer two.

[Tom Griswold]

All right.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay. So who's hooker?

[Jess Hooker]

Announcer three.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

And as I recall, announcer three doesn't really have a lot.

[Jess Hooker]

No. Which is fun.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay. Okay. Very good. Okay, go ahead.

[Storyteller (Mr. Duke)]

Hey, dad.

[Willie G]

I'm so excited for a vacation.

[Bob Kevoian]

Where are we going on full break? Disney World.

[Jeff Oskay]

I'm sorry, Billy, but with prices the way they are at Disney, we need to find someplace a little closer and a lot cheaper.

[Willie G]

Ah, geez.

[Bob Kevoian]

You promised we could do something fun.

[Jeff Oskay]

And we will, Billy. I, I. And we will, Billy. I'll think of something we can afford, but what exactly?

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey, dad. And Billy, don't let high prices keep a single dad and his only son from hitting the road and having the vacation of a lifetime this fall. Because now you can visit a famous and beloved tourist destination that is reasonably priced, close to home, and fun for the whole family. Hi, I'm Jake Fisthole, owner and operator of the world's largest ball of chest hair.

[Tom Griswold]

That's right, Jake Fist hole, was it? The world's largest ball of chest hair stands 12ft tall and is nearly 20ft around. And it's all chest hair. No pubes, beard, or head hair added.

[Bob Kevoian]

For Pat, what may surprise you most is just how beautiful it truly is.

[Tom Griswold]

I think it would surprise you.

[Bob Kevoian]

It changes colors in the rays of the setting sun, just like the Grand Canyon. The Today Show's Matt Lauer called it the single most fascinating sight he'd ever seen.

[Tom Griswold]

He used to stop by on the way to visit one of his secret families. We drink tequila on the porch, try on toupees and shoot at stray cats and prairie dogs. And for some reason, Matt always smelled of candy corn, KY jelly and Old Spice.

[Jess Hooker]

A few days later, I'm so happy.

[Tom Griswold]

To be on the road. Where'd you say we were going again, dad?

[Bob Kevoian]

Six Flags?

[Jeff Oskay]

Even better, Billy. We're going to see the world's largest ball of chest hair. It's coming up at the very next exit.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, the world's largest ball of chest hair is conveniently located on old Highway 52, just past the state prison.

[Bob Kevoian]

In fact, inmates have been shaving their chests and donating their chest hairs for more than three decades.

[Jeff Oskay]

No telling how much murderer chest hair is woven into this natural wonder.

[Tom Griswold]

Sharp eyed visitors can even spot the singed hair that came from the corpses of suspected murderers executed in the electric chair.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's why we get so many history classes on field trips. It's like. Like a walk back through time. Did you say we were spending our.

[Willie G]

Vacation at the world's largest ball of chest hair?

[Bob Kevoian]

This blows.

[Tom Griswold]

This is why mom divorced you.

[Jeff Oskay]

But, but Billy, it's the world's largest ball of chest hair. There's plenty of other stuff to do. On their website I saw a picnic table and a bird feeder.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's right, we have two picnic tables. Plus we've got a badminton net in the backyard.

[Tom Griswold]

Rackets and shuttlecocks not provided.

[Bob Kevoian]

We've got cornhole. A metal swing set with a teeter totter. A storage shed with a busted lock that's full of tools, paints and dangerous chemicals. All the stuff that kids love.

[Tom Griswold]

We used to have a Dairy Queen right next to the world's largest ball of chest hair. But on windy days, the blow off of stray chest hair forced them to close.

[Bob Kevoian]

But even if we don't have a bunch of cool stuff like Legoland, a visit to the world's largest ball of chest hair will be your child most memorable vacation ever.

[Jeff Oskay]

Know why?

[Bob Kevoian]

Because the closest motel is the Deer Tick Inn and it has a swimming pool. And that's all kids care about on vacation. Motels with swimming pools.

[Tom Griswold]

Splash.

[Jess Hooker]

Splash.

[Bob Kevoian]

Splash. Splashing. This is the best vacation ever. Thanks dad. I can't believe mom left you for.

[Tom Griswold]

My little league coach.

[Bob Kevoian]

And by the way, check out the.

[Jeff Oskay]

Tattoos on that heavy honey.

[Bob Kevoian]

Over, over on the diving board.

[Willie G]

Look out.

[Bob Kevoian]

Cannonball. Ah. Don't waste your time at the world's largest ball of twine or the world's largest ball of rubber bands or any of the other giant spheres crafted from stuff that can be bought in bulk from Costco. You deserve something more natural, more majestic, and just a whole lot more fun.

[Tom Griswold]

Make some memories this fall when you visit the world's largest ball of chest hair, where you take home a mouthful of history every time the wind blows.

[Bob Kevoian]

What a great spot. Thank you, AA. Well done. Nice job.

[Tom Griswold]

Very nice.

[Bob Kevoian]

AA's debut did a great job.

[Willie G]

Thank you.

[Bob Kevoian]

You play a very good kid.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Let me play this in 20 years. It'll be hilarious.

[Tom Griswold]

It's up there with your accent.

[Bob Kevoian]

An excellent job.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you. Nicely done.

[Bob Kevoian]

Get out.

[Tom Griswold]

Get out.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now. We now return to our regularly scheduled programming, which is coming to you from the SILAB back insurance news desk with Jess Hooker sitting in for Christy Lee.

[Jess Hooker]

To keep with the hair theme, the hair museum in Missouri is closing its doors.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, what a shame.

[Jess Hooker]

But they're looking to re home its massive collection of hair. For about 30 years, wreaths, necklaces, watch bands and other human hair creations have adorned the walls of Layla's Hair Museum in Independence.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh.

[Jess Hooker]

Following the passing of the museum's namesake sake, Layla Cahoon, her daughter or granddaughter, Lindsay Evans has been trying to find a home for the collection.

[Jeff Oskay]

I bet she has.

[Jess Hooker]

It consists of more than 3,000 pieces.

[Jeff Oskay]

Grandma left me all the jewelry. Oh, she left me the hair museum.

[Jess Hooker]

The collection includes pieces of hair from past presidents, Hollywood legends, hair from every woman in the League of Women Voters from Vermont in 1870, 65, and purportedly Jesus.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, man.

[Jeff Oskay]

Wait, she got Jesus hair?

[Jess Hooker]

She's got Jesus.

[Bob Kevoian]

Alleged. I'd like to see the provenance. Is that the word they used, man? The hair museum? Apparently. I was not aware of this, but in all seriousness, this was a big art form for a long time.

[Jess Hooker]

Filthy hippies around macrame.

[Willie G]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

It says hair art has its roots as far back as the medieval era. It was very popular in the 1800s. Queen Victoria inspired the cult of the dead trend following the death of her husband.

[Jess Hooker]

All right, I don't get grossed out by much, but hair there was. Yeah, I don't like it.

[Bob Kevoian]

There was a thing in, I want to say Philadelphia a decade ago, where they had hair from most of the presidents. I guess that was a thing you would. When someone would die, you would make sure to get a lock of their hair.

[Tom Griswold]

Lincoln's hair was in the smoking center.

[Jess Hooker]

Well, they do that with baby. Or they used to do that with babies. After the first haircut, you would keep the lock of hair baby book.

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[Jeff Oskay]

Man, I'd hate to see the drain at this place.

[Bob Kevoian]

I was gonna say, if they need any new contributions, go to a shower near you. Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

I wonder what famous people they have.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, so it's closed.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, it's over.

[Tom Griswold]

All right.

[Jess Hooker]

So if you want to.

[Bob Kevoian]

It's in Missouri.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Independence.

[Jess Hooker]

If you would like to be the new order of. On.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, I'm trying to see if it says what famous people they have. I can't seem to find it, so. Sorry.

[Tom Griswold]

There is one right next to the Atlantic. Did you guys. Were you aware of that? The old. The Old Sea Hare Museum. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Actress and comedian Phyllis Diller. Phyllis Diller. Excuse me, me. Donated a hair wreath that had been in her family for generations.

[Tom Griswold]

H. Well, she had famous. Famous shock of hair, didn't she?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, she did.

[Bob Kevoian]

Mike Rowe. Oh, the. The guy that does the odd jobs on tv.

[Tom Griswold]

Dirty jobs.

[Bob Kevoian]

He's great. He did an episode of Somebody's got to do it at the hair Museum.

[Tom Griswold]

It was a terrible episode of Drive Ins, Diners and D.

[Bob Kevoian]

I guess they've got some of Ozzie Osborne's hair. They don't really give a complete list.

[Jeff Oskay]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

Anyway, it's all out there because one of these days they'll probably be able to take a hair from George Washington and recreate them.

[Tom Griswold]

Yikes.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

No. Can they. Can they get. I know that on these TV shows, they get a hair and the DNA. Is that a true thing? I mean.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. If you leave one hair, they can get.

[Bob Kevoian]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

You can figure out who you are unless the test goes wrong or something, you know? But. Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Well, in. In those 23andMe and Ancestry.com, one of them is, you can send a strand of hair. It's not just a swab. So.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Bob Kevoian]

What president's hair would you want to have?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I don't know. I always thought. I honestly thought one of the best presidential moments was when the little boy was talking to Barack Obama and said, may I please touch your hair? And Barack Obama said. Yeah. And he bent down and he let the kid touch his hair. I thought that was such a nice human moment.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

I don't wanna get political here, but there are certain presidents, if you did that, your hand would stick.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know what Trump, if he uses. If there's product in there or There must be.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

His hair is confusing.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. Coming up, we have flying cars in the news. We've been hearing about them since the days of the Jetsons. I've never been much of a fan, but we're gonna find out what happened recently with a pair of flying. Of flying cars. What else have you got coming up?

[Jess Hooker]

You know, we have this story about the woman and her boyfriend's ball sack.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, boy. That's really.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. If you want to hear your dogs talk and we caught a monkey with a hot cup of coffee, that that could go one of two ways. How I said that.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Did he have the coffee already or walking around town?

[Jess Hooker]

Hot cup of coffee.

[Bob Kevoian]

How are you right now? The Bob and Tom show is sponsored by Better Help, and today officially is World Mental Health Day. All the more reason to pay close attention if you've been thinking about working on your personal journey in life. BetterHelp is a way to connect with a therapist. You can talk to your friends about various issues in your life, but there's nothing quite like talking to a professional who is schooled in ways to help you ask the right questions and help you move forward. And BetterHelp is committed to helping people with their mental health health by hooking you up with a credentialed therapist. They have a variety of therapists, of course, thousands of them that work for them. And they've been doing this for more than 10 years. And it is the largest place of its kind that does this. What it's all about is doing the therapy online. You'll get hooked up by filling out a short questionnaire to identify your needs and preferences. You go to betterhelp.com btshow and by the way, you'll be hooked up with a therapist. The therapy is done online, so it can be done like a zoom call or a phone call or even texting back and forth. And we are celebrating World Mental Health Day today. So get yourself aligned with a therapist. You can switch anytime, as I said, if that therapist isn't working for you. But if you're ready to find the right therapist, BetterHelp can help you start. Bob and Tom show listeners, by the way, get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com btshow that's betterhelp. H E L P.com btshow and once again, the therapy is done online, so it can be done wherever you want to be. So it's a lot more convenient. And millions of people have been using BetterHelp over the last decade. Once again, the information betterhelp.com BTShow Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

We were talking about presidential hair, and I don't know why I didn't mention this. I actually do own some hair from the White House. Do you know, I have a couple strands of Barbara's bush.

[Bob Kevoian]

It was well worth the wait. I say.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I'll bring them in.

[Bob Kevoian]

And, and did you get any of George's Bush?

[Tom Griswold]

No, I wasn't lucky enough.

[Bob Kevoian]

The elder. That's the one that's gray. Thank you very much. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

This is the Bob and Tom Show. Reach us toll free at 1-888-BOB-TOM1 [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom show. Live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Jess Hooker's at the Silac Insurance Company news desk.

[Jess Hooker]

I have an email.

[Tom Griswold]

All right, Jeff, Oskar's getting his glasses on. He must be. He must be preparing for some reading. There's Ace Cosby. Have a Sharpie. He's getting ready to write. I'm Josh Arnold. I am. I'm wearing glasses, but I'm not gonna read anything, nor am I gonna write anything. But I may have a clever aside. Oh, we'll find out, won't we, Tom?

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm waiting.

[Tom Griswold]

You've been waiting nine years.

[Jess Hooker]

Good morning to all of you. And Tom, when you guys played the shito skit, it reminded me of a joke.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

Gosh.

[Jess Hooker]

This might be a joke you can give your nieces and nephews for Halloween.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay. This comes from Jack. Why don't monsters eat ghosts?

[Tom Griswold]

Why don't monsters eat ghosts?

[Jess Hooker]

Because they taste like sheet.

[Bob Kevoian]

I kind of like that. Very, very good. Thank you very much. Now, did you have the letter also?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. You were talking to Halloween candy this morning. Samantha wrote in. Hey, guys. On the topic of Halloween candy handed out, wanted to share a memory from when she was younger. Trick or treat. In second grade, she went out trick or treating with her brother and sister. First house handed out their pantry items. We got a box of pancake mix, off brand peanut butter and a can of green beans.

[Tom Griswold]

How about that?

[Jeff Oskay]

Your morning listener in West Virginia, Samantha. Nice.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's kind of weird.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, I've heard of that happening.

[Jess Hooker]

I have a similar one from Blake. Good morning all. My wife and I would hand out Little Debbie stuff. Snacks.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, good.

[Jess Hooker]

Oatmeal cream pies, zebra cakes, Nutter butters, Etc. Side note, we are from Iowa and to Josh's point, we would also have to tell jokes when trick or treat.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, so somewhere else did it too.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Thanks for the morning laugh.

[Bob Kevoian]

We had the letter from the person who's someone in the neighborhood worked for Wonder Bread, and they give out little mini wonder bread loafs.

[Jess Hooker]

So cool.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, that is so cool. But again, if you were to give out a slice of bread, you'd be an idiot.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

No one would like that. I got the heat deal, and I'm threatening to give away those. I think I'm gonna do it. You should do those little wax. Yeah, they look like little wax soda pop bottles you bite the top off and suck in.

[Jess Hooker]

The kids today have never seen those. They'll. They'll love it.

[Bob Kevoian]

It'll be fun.

[Tom Griswold]

Because you're gonna give real candy, too.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, but the candy cigarettes is a no, no.

[Tom Griswold]

I say do it. I may actually also have those available.

[Jeff Oskay]

But get the ones that smoke. Yeah. Smoke out the end. Don't just get, like, the solid white, like, fun dip stick.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Do they make, like, a bubble gum vaping device?

[Jess Hooker]

I'm sure they do.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Have you seen. Ever seen this? You see, you walk into a public restroom and it looks like it's on fire and it's a guy vaping.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Sometimes that stuff. It's more than smoke.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

It looks like a steam engine going.

[Jess Hooker]

I'm always shocked when I see people. I mean, it's not permitted at all, but at sporting events, they're just, like, walking through crowds of people taking puffs off their vapes.

[Bob Kevoian]

They do the thing. They're trying to hide it.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes. Yeah. Just get real.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay, now here's a suggestion, because I'm looking for more suggestions for cool stuff to do at Halloween. We gave out juke boxes, writes Dennis. All the parents loved it. They would always comment their kids were really thirsty, and so they just.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, juice boxes.

[Bob Kevoian]

What did I say?

[Tom Griswold]

You said jukebox.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, sorry.

[Jeff Oskay]

I'm like, that is the biggest. That's not going to fit in your bag.

[Bob Kevoian]

You're going to need a forklift body. Sorry, sorry. I. I'm. I've got a.

[Jeff Oskay]

Have you guys hit the jukebox house? Oh, my gosh.

[Bob Kevoian]

Holy cow. I've got a case of dry mouth here. I'm sorry. Juice boxes.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Is that a cool thing? No.

[Tom Griswold]

Sure, sure.

[Jess Hooker]

That's good.

[Jeff Oskay]

Or Capri Suns.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I'd like a Capri Sun. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

That's nice.

[Bob Kevoian]

Is there a way to put the straw in the Capri sun without squirting yourself? I know there's. There's some secret to that.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm gonna say three out of five times, I don't squirt myself.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But I also. I haven't had one in years.

[Bob Kevoian]

Apples. I understand. Most phlebotomists. Most phlebotomists get their start with Capri Sun.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Jeff Oskay]

I had one the other day that. I'm pretty sure that's how she learned from the pain. It's wild just jabbing around. Oh, Willy Milly.

[Tom Griswold]

Sometimes you get one where you're like, do I owe you money? Yes.

[Jess Hooker]

If I was this bad at my job, I would be fine.

[Bob Kevoian]

Exactly. Find a vein. For God's sake, man. Okay, I'm sorry. Let's get back to the silicon. Wait a minute. No, we can't do that. No, we have to do Today in History. If we don't do this, there are students who fail history class.

[Tom Griswold]

Absolutely.

[Bob Kevoian]

Very important that we get to this. If I can find it, you have the music over there?

[Jeff Oskay]

No.

[Bob Kevoian]

Can you sing it for me?

[Tom Griswold]

There we go. Time now for Today in History. If we don't do this, there are students in school who fail.

[Bob Kevoian]

Sounds weird.

[Tom Griswold]

This is November 4th.

[Bob Kevoian]

October 10th.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I was.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, in 1868, the first written account of a football game. Not soccer, a football game in Canada played in Quebec between English troops and civilians.

[Jeff Oskay]

Wow.

[Bob Kevoian]

So I guess if it's in Quebec, they're probably speaking French.

[Tom Griswold]

Probably.

[Bob Kevoian]

Here we go. 1935. George Gershwin's famed. I guess you would call it a musical. Slash opera. Porgy and Bess opened on Broadway.

[Jess Hooker]

Ah.

[Bob Kevoian]

When I was a kid, I thought it was Porgy and Porky and Bugs, which I would have enjoyed a lot. Much preferred that one. Oh, here, this is. We've had these guys in the studio. Whitesnake, Ms. Hooker, do you know, in 1987, what White Snake Song was number one on the Billboard chart?

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, man, I should know.

[Tom Griswold]

Here we go again.

[Jess Hooker]

Here.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's it.

[Jess Hooker]

Here we go. That's a great. That's a great song. And there's a great cover by Audre May, if anybody.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I'll check it out. I love that song.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, that's the one with Tawny Katane.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. Rolling across that car.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that was the video. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Let's see. Oh, Happy birthday. In 1917, the great jazz artist, Thelonious Monk.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

You ever notice you go to, like a truck stop and they have those things with the kids names and license plates?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Thelonious. Never seen it.

[Tom Griswold]

Sometimes you have to settle for Theo. They may, occasionally, if.

[Bob Kevoian]

If you're lucky.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, if you're lucky.

[Bob Kevoian]

You'll know this one, Josh.

[Tom Griswold]

I will.

[Bob Kevoian]

He's considered to be the worst movie director of all time. Born in 1924.

[Tom Griswold]

Ed Wood.

[Bob Kevoian]

Ed Wood is right. And with a certain amount of irony, didn't the movie Ed Wood when actually win an Oscar.

[Tom Griswold]

Oscar. Martin Landau won best supporting actor.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay. Oh, 1946. I guess this guy's primarily a dancer. Ben Vereen.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

He was in Roots.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

And he. I think he. Didn't he get.

[Jess Hooker]

What else was.

[Bob Kevoian]

Didn't he get run over by a van driven by some what musical artist?

[Tom Griswold]

Is that what. Is that how he died?

[Bob Kevoian]

I. I think it didn't kill him.

[Tom Griswold]

But I'm pretty sure he was known as Ben Smithereen.

[Bob Kevoian]

And got the old Ben Marine.

[Tom Griswold]

You'd recognize him, Jess. Yeah, yeah. I feel like he would show up on.

[Bob Kevoian]

I think he was in Roots.

[Tom Griswold]

He was.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

I think he was a dancer.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. The dance number in Roots is.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, well, no, I'm not.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's killer.

[Bob Kevoian]

They could make a.

[Jess Hooker]

No, don't stop. Knock it off.

[Bob Kevoian]

They've done it. Listen, they've done operas about.

[Jeff Oskay]

They have done.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, you know, they, they. Okay, sorry. Happy birthday. Oh, the great, late, great John Prine, genius Singer.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

1946, 1954.

[Tom Griswold]

Wonderful. John.

[Bob Kevoian]

David Lee Roth. Been on the show a few times. David Lee, big fan. Have you seen him lately? When he does instead of jump, it's a limp.

[Jeff Oskay]

Come on.

[Bob Kevoian]

Brett Favre, uh, born in 1969. In this date.

[Jeff Oskay]

No.

[Bob Kevoian]

Lately things haven't been going great for his reputation. Mario Lopez, born in 1973.

[Tom Griswold]

You can see him at a gas pump near you just everywhere.

[Jeff Oskay]

Can you turn those down?

[Tom Griswold]

Sometimes they are crazy loud.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, just turn it down.

[Bob Kevoian]

Do they call him amlo?

[Jess Hooker]

I don't think.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know.

[Bob Kevoian]

You got your jlo.

[Tom Griswold]

Wouldn't you know what he's parlayed? What?

[Jess Hooker]

He's.

[Tom Griswold]

He's worked. That guy's worked consistently. Good for him.

[Bob Kevoian]

He's on every day.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, Yeah. I say good for Kit.

[Bob Kevoian]

Whatever. And that's pretty much it. Oh, one more. A Dale Earnhardt Jr. A huge fan of the Washington Football Club.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Not to mention a member of the NASCAR hall of Fame. And that's today in history. You're welcome, kids, if you get a quiz today, now, you know what the answers are. Coming up, we're going to be talking to Willie Garrett. Coming up, we're going to be learning about a little information about dogs and a scientist who is actually, in a very scientific manner, examining what a dog's bark means.

[Tom Griswold]

I love that.

[Bob Kevoian]

We're going to find out right here from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

Thanks for listening. Portions of the show brought to you by Champion Windows. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom show. Live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Jess Hooker is at the Silac Insurance Company news desk.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hi.

[Tom Griswold]

Jeff Oskay is across the way. Hey, man, there's Ace Cosby. I'm Josh Arnold. And Tom, I believe. Are we going to the big screen?

[Bob Kevoian]

I think we're going to the big screen, Willie G. Oh, look at the mustache that's growing in now.

[Willie G]

Yeah, check it out. Thanks, guys.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's definitely up, visible and looking good.

[Jess Hooker]

And yeah, Max would be so proud of you, Willie.

[Bob Kevoian]

Josh, that compliment.

[Willie G]

Oh, that mustache. No, it is visible, man. I mean, you can see it, can't you?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, well, sometimes when you first started, it wasn't always visible.

[Willie G]

Yeah, no, yeah, it wasn't. It was sort of like a 14 year old boy's mustache.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but now it's in Jess.

[Willie G]

Yeah, I appreciate you saying that, Jess.

[Jeff Oskay]

Thank you.

[Willie G]

I'm actually inspired by Max Hooker. When I grow up, I want his look. He looks cool, man.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, Max and Willie look a lot alike.

[Bob Kevoian]

Really?

[Jess Hooker]

Yes, they. They look very similar, so. Except Max has more facial hair.

[Willie G]

Yes, more facial hair.

[Jess Hooker]

22. He's 22.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but he's. He may as well be 38.

[Bob Kevoian]

I see. Now, Willie, I know that you're going to be in Peoria this weekend.

[Willie G]

Oh, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Along with Colin.

[Willie G]

Sorry, Jukebox Comedy Club with Colin Unger. I didn't mean to step on you there. That delay got me.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's all right. Now, I know that you. You're in chic right now, I assume, and a Cubs fan. They're heading back to Milwaukee tomorrow, right? 2 and 2.

[Willie G]

Yeah, it's a huge thing. If you like sitting in traffic next to a Six Flags, this is the game for you to go to, man.

[Bob Kevoian]

I see, I see now is do you have Cub fever? Are you wearing your Cubs cap?

[Willie G]

I've got nothing. I wore it to the bar last night and it was really fun. The sort of this everybody's kind of in watching the same thing. I was actually there with my friend Mark, who you guys know, and his girlfriend. She's a Dodgers fan. We're at this Cub bar. They don't have the Dodger game on the tv, so she was watching it on my cell phone, like an iPad.

[Bob Kevoian]

Kid in the corner.

[Tom Griswold]

Nice. I see it. Don't you love fall ball?

[Jess Hooker]

I love it.

[Willie G]

Yeah, it's great, man. Playoff baseball is so Fun. I'm so. This is the best time of year. Football's on. Basketball's about to start, baseball's on. I don't have any problems. I have distractions every night.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

How's the gambling going? Going?

[Willie G]

Gambling's good. I took the summer off, as you guys know. I had that big Pacers bet. It did not hit, so I took the summer off. It wasn't like a court ordered break by any means, but I thought it.

[Jeff Oskay]

Was a good idea.

[Willie G]

And now things are fun. I had a big bet last week in that Colts game. Tyler Warren. The new tight end?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Willie G]

He's actually my best friend. I don't know if you guys know that. Me and him are quite close. No, we're not. I'm just trying to become friends with him. But he got a touchdown. I had a little parlay. Colts over Colts win. And Tyler Warren.

[Jeff Oskay]

Warren.

[Jess Hooker]

Nice.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, you were one win away from what? How much did you put down? What was it? It was not much.

[Willie G]

I had about. I put down about $140 between two bets to win $12,000. If the Indiana Pacers would have won the NBA Finals, I could have cashed out at multiple points for around four grand. Five grand. And I did not. And I've been feeling it ever since.

[Jess Hooker]

And their preseason starts off tomorrow. You gonna bet on the preseason game? Can you do that?

[Willie G]

You can. You can bet on whatever you want.

[Jeff Oskay]

They.

[Willie G]

They let you bet?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Willie G]

You want to bet, they'll let you do it?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, that may be.

[Tom Griswold]

They let me bet on what Willie's gonna bet.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

I see. I see what else is happening in your life. You're growing a mustache.

[Willie G]

Growing a mustache? I've been changing it up, dad. You might not be proud of me. This is groundbreaking for a Griswold. I've been doing coffee at home.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, Tom, your thoughts? Oh, he's disappointed.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. As you know, I have never in my life had a coffee maker at my home. And I'm a. I drink tons of coffee.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Bob Kevoian]

I have about four places I go all the time.

[Tom Griswold]

How are you liking it, Willie?

[Willie G]

I love it. I get cold brew and then I get sugar free vanilla syrup in my house. I get cold foam. You guys know about cold foam? It's like whipped cream for skinny women.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, it's the best is this is like Ready Whip, you squirt.

[Willie G]

Comes in a whipped cream can and it says cold foam on the side. But if you put it in your mouth at 2am with some peanut butter, it tastes just like whipped cream.

[Bob Kevoian]

It's the best. Wow. I always like getting up and leaving the house and going somewhere and getting coffee. I just never like to make it in my own house.

[Jess Hooker]

It's good to have a routine.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, but to get out there, you know, Go see the world.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

I mean, there's probably, like, 25 coffee places within 10 minutes of where you live in Chicago.

[Tom Griswold]

If your kid gets out there, he just wants a. He wants a starter coffee.

[Willie G]

Yeah, well, and I'm also trying not to spend $8 on a latte because that Pacers bet didn't hit.

[Bob Kevoian]

I forgot about that. Okay. Okay, well, that.

[Tom Griswold]

That.

[Bob Kevoian]

That. That makes more sense.

[Tom Griswold]

How many shows at the jukebox this weekend, Will?

[Willie G]

I'm very excited. We have two shows, one Friday, one Saturday, both at 8pm I'm excited to get out there with the real man. All the real men that. The Caterpillar factory. They're working with their hands. The last time I was there, I asked the guy what he did for work. He told me prefab. I said, cool. Then I went to the bathroom. I Googled what prefab was. I did not know it was construction. I thought Prefab was the show on before RuPaul's Drag Race.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, the mustache. What's the logic behind this? Is this a.

[Tom Griswold]

They are in. I mean.

[Bob Kevoian]

I mean, is that. Yeah. Is that a thing happening?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

My son has one.

[Tom Griswold]

Young.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Yep.

[Bob Kevoian]

Because they were really big with the 70s. They were really big there for a while.

[Jess Hooker]

Huh.

[Bob Kevoian]

And then. Then the goatee or whatever, the Van Dyke thing was really popular 10, 20 years ago. Is that out now? I know the man bun, fortunately, has gone away.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I think the mustache is in.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, the mustache is in. The goatee, they say, is the new mullet, so that's how outdated.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

The goatee is.

[Tom Griswold]

I bet. I bet the goatee will be back in a. In 10 years.

[Jess Hooker]

You're right. Exactly.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay. But the. The mustache is. Is happening. I was not aware of that.

[Tom Griswold]

And reviews really universally good.

[Willie G]

Oh, the ladies love it, Josh. Everybody loves it. Everybody wants a mustache kiss everywhere I go.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, my gosh.

[Bob Kevoian]

No.

[Willie G]

I can't stop. Come on. Get away from me.

[Tom Griswold]

Just handing out mks.

[Willie G]

Oh, yeah. Mustache kisses going all around.

[Bob Kevoian]

Do you have one of those. Do you have one of those little combs? I do have a little comb.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. You need it.

[Willie G]

I do, and I feel like a psycho when I use it. You're just sitting there like this. And then, Jess, I got one of those things that girls use for their eyebrows.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Willie G]

And I kind of use that.

[Jess Hooker]

It's a fake. Yeah, it's a very small blade. I mean, it's tiny.

[Bob Kevoian]

And what's that. What's that thing I see lying around? It looks like a pair of pliers.

[Jess Hooker]

Tweezers.

[Bob Kevoian]

No, no, it's eyelash crimpers. Yeah, it's got like a. It's like a. It's like a set of tongs you'd use to barbecue meet some kind of squeegee.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, those are eyelash curlers.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those make me nervous. I feel like I pinch them down and just rip every eyelash out of my hand.

[Bob Kevoian]

Would you curl your eyelashes if you could?

[Tom Griswold]

No, mine are naturally curly. I have. I have gorgeous eyelashes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Have women commented on this?

[Tom Griswold]

Almost every woman has commented on my eyelashes. Really? Yes, yes.

[Willie G]

Josh has beautiful eyelashes. Everybody knows that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. My glasses. It's a shame I wear glasses. Yeah, yeah. It's a real crime, actually.

[Bob Kevoian]

We can remedy that. I know a guy. My friend, Urken.

[Tom Griswold]

Willie, if you don't have. If you ever go somewhere and you forget your little comb for your mustache, a street toothbrush will work, too. If you happen across one of those. It took me a few seconds to.

[Willie G]

Realize what a street toothbrush was, and I go, no, don't work too hard. It's a toothbrush you find on the street.

[Bob Kevoian]

That is disgusting. Okay. All right, well, what do we got coming up?

[Jess Hooker]

Jess Hooker, do you want your dog to talk? I do.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Who doesn't?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Flying cars, but they're not flying much because they crashed. And then. We've got to get to this scrotum story, guys.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

How's your scrot?

[Bob Kevoian]

Will?

[Willie G]

Yeah, no, I'll check it. And before I go, I've got a quiz for you. Can I do a quiz?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes, absolutely. Yeah, go for it.

[Willie G]

Okay, guys, so it's three questions, three answers, and your three options are Peoria, Astoria, and Gloria Estefan.

[Bob Kevoian]

So number one. Got it.

[Willie G]

This city in Illinois is home to Richard Pryor.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that would be Peoria.

[Willie G]

Okay, you guys are good at this. All right, next we have. This is a neighborhood of Queens.

[Bob Kevoian]

Astoria. Astoria.

[Willie G]

Perfect. All right, final question, final answer. This Cuban American singer is known for her work in the Miami sound.

[Bob Kevoian]

Michelle.

[Tom Griswold]

That would have to be Gloria.

[Jeff Oskay]

Stefan.

[Willie G]

I got to work on these quizzes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Better.

[Willie G]

You guys are really good at this. I thought this one was going to be tricky. I thought I had a little misdirect at the end, but my goodness, you get it every damn time.

[Tom Griswold]

And be careful out there. Willie. Because the rhythm is going to get you.

[Announcer]

All right.

[Bob Kevoian]

Thanks, Willie.

[Willie G]

See you, boys.

[Jeff Oskay]

Bye, buddy.

[Bob Kevoian]

Wow. Yeah, the. The Cubs won, so it's.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. That's exciting.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a series.

[Jess Hooker]

Fun to watch. Yeah. Now, I only know about baseball. I don't know about a lot of other sports, so I enjoy watching baseball the most.

[Bob Kevoian]

So I got news for you. Well, see, tomorrow's game is in Milwaukee, which is good, because if the Cubs win, they'll be able to have cold champagne because they. They couldn't have cold champagne if they were wanted in Chicago. Because the mayor and the governor don't want ice in Chicago.

[Tom Griswold]

So therefore, no cold champagne.

[Bob Kevoian]

The old immigration joke. You see, the governor. By the way, if you were a billionaire and you were the governor, wouldn't you be a little more fit? I mean, really.

[Tom Griswold]

I am that guy.

[Bob Kevoian]

If you're. If you're a billionaire and you're a schlub like that, what the hell? Someone. Someone knocked the cookies out of his hand, for God's sake. I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

If I were a billionaire, I might be the fattest.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Just. Who cares? I can pay anybody to do anything.

[Bob Kevoian]

I mean, Jeffrey Epstein tried his problems, but at least he looked good.

[Jess Hooker]

There is that.

[Bob Kevoian]

Make friends.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's the quote of the day.

[Tom Griswold]

If you're not, I. You have to get on Meet the Press and say things like that.

[Bob Kevoian]

I just don't get, like really fat rich guys. It doesn't make sense to me.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know.

[Bob Kevoian]

Get the glp, whatever they call it, what's coming. We already established what's coming.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Flying cars, the test, the scrotum. Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay. Very, very important. I hope you're enjoying our program. I certainly.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, me too.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, good. I'm glad. We all are.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, they say if you can reach just one, at least you and I are reaching each other.

[Bob Kevoian]

You see around, See, they can't have any ice in the locker room because the governor. The governor and the mayor. Pissed. Who isn't pissed? Wouldn't it be great if the news began one night? No breaking news. Nobody's pissed. Well, let's have some fun. Let's. Let's watch Jeopardy. I hope everybody wins tonight. Right now, I wanna remind you about Raycon earbuds. They are the best. This message is sponsored by Raycon. I'm a huge fan. I've got a pair of Raycons, the white ones, on my desk right now. And it's Raycon's anniversary, so they're gonna celebrate with you by Giving you a great deal on everyday earbuds. The Earbuds, the classics from raycon. Right now, 20% off. This is the perfect time to grab a pair of Raycon earbuds. They're reliable, they're super comfortable, they stay in your ear and that's a real, really important because those little white ones that are twice as much end up falling out of your ears all the time. Raycon sound great and it's a great value. Their everyday earbuds classic are loaded with new upgrades, active noise cancellation, multi point connectivity. So you can pair with two devices at once with an ergonomic fit that actually stays put in your ear. So with a variety of different colors by the way, if that's something important to you, you can get a pair that matches whatever vibe you're giving off. The everyday features on the Raycon earbuds include a quick charge. Just a quick 10 minutes will give you 90 minutes of playtime. By the way, you do have up to 32 hours of battery life with the case. The awareness mode perfect when walking your dog or running errands. So you can still hear that car coming up behind. Plus, over 3 million customers already love the Raycons and they come with a 30 day happiness guarantee. If you don't love them, it's easy to return them. But you're gonna love them. Go to buyraycon.com tom that's B, U, Y R, A Y, C O, N, C O, M, T O M. It's a bunch of three letter words there. Buyraycon.com Tom 20% off. The Everyday Earbud classic by Raycon.com Tom coming up, speaking of slash, this poor guy got his sack slashed and there was, according to the police report, visible testicle. Hello, Visible testicle. We opened at Bonnaroo for the doors back in 67. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom show. Live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Jess Hooker at the Silac Insurance Company news desk. Hello, there's Jeff Oskay. Hello, Ace Cosby's there. Hello, I'm Josh Arnold and Tom, yesterday we had Greg Morton in studio. Wasn't that great?

[Bob Kevoian]

I love it.

[Tom Griswold]

Always so fun to hang out with.

[Bob Kevoian]

And we have a very good video that's on our social media of Greg talking about the future. Yes, because if anybody knows the future, it's him.

[Tom Griswold]

Soup. Yes. Yeah, well he taught us that he's practically a wizard. Yeah, that's what I heard. Incredibly funny and just a sweet man.

[Bob Kevoian]

Nice guy. And we now have. Speaking of wizards, this is. This is going to be a really good segue. Okay, if any of us in this room had to portray someone from Harry Potter, I think it would be Jeff Osk, who has that huge beard that juts down to his chest. And so don't you think he could portray. Yeah, you look like a number of the. The elder wizards in Harry Potter.

[Jess Hooker]

A younger version of them.

[Jeff Oskay]

I think I could be in a Viking show.

[Jess Hooker]

For sure.

[Jeff Oskay]

Like an extra. Not a. Not a main guy.

[Tom Griswold]

Ace could be in Harry Potter. He's sometimes a serious black.

[Bob Kevoian]

You want to explain that joke?

[Tom Griswold]

I never read the books. There's a character named Serious Black.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, See? Oh, and the comedy there. Racist is missing after that last break. Hey, we've got nothing to lose. The clock is ticking. Is it time for news we failed to mention?

[Storyteller (Mr. Duke)]

Here's Jeff Oskay with failed to mention news.

[Jeff Oskay]

You know, because we give you a lot of the news each week. We don't give you all the news. So I'm here to give you the news that we failed to mention. Ace, emergency rooms had to remove a Yankee candle from some fellow's backside. What you failed to mention that is a true testament to how beloved those candles really are.

[Tom Griswold]

Absolutely. Every household.

[Jeff Oskay]

I heard he was just trying to pry that fussy lid off.

[Jess Hooker]

It can be tricky.

[Jeff Oskay]

We watched a man drink a pint of beer through his nose in just 20 seconds. What you failed to mention. This is a man you never want to do cocaine with. If you do, make sure he supplied. A man killed and ate his own peacock after a dispute with neighbors. Well, you failed to mention. Hope these neighbors never have any trouble with this guy's kids. Get in here. Gen Z couples are getting what are being called pet nups. Basically a prenup about what will happen to the pet that they got together. What will happen during a breakup? Sure. Well, you failed to mention. I'm glad they didn't have this back when I was dating. I'd probably be locked up for being in the rears on my Sharpay Support to raise money for supplies. A school is charging parents for the art their children make during class.

[Bob Kevoian]

Wow.

[Jeff Oskay]

What you failed to mention. Are you allowed to buy other kids artwork or does it have to be your own? You buy your kids bullies artwork hanging up on the fridge just for motivation. We learned exercising outside makes you happier. Oh, what you failed to mention. Unless you're fat. Then it makes people who see you exercising happier where you run into Tubby, the Pumpkin Spice Cheesecake Blizzard. Dairy Queen's there for a whole nother week. Slow down. And finally, there's a thing called post orgasmic illness syndrome where people fall ill after completion.

[Bob Kevoian]

Whoa.

[Jeff Oskay]

What? You failed to mention. I suffer from post orgasmic snack syndrome. And that sandwich ain't gonna make itself, woman. So I'm Jeff Oskay, and this was the news that we failed to mention.

[Bob Kevoian]

Thank you, Jeffrey.

[Tom Griswold]

Very nice, Jeff.

[Bob Kevoian]

Nice, nice. Let's mention some more news. Okay, we've got Jess Hooker sitting in for Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance news desk. What's up?

[Jess Hooker]

Now, when I teased this story earlier, I said a woman went ham on her boyfriend scrotum.

[Bob Kevoian]

I've never heard that phrase.

[Tom Griswold]

Same. I don't know what that.

[Jess Hooker]

It, it. It's not the best use of it in this situation, but ham stands for hard as a mother.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Gotcha.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes. So you could go ham on a bag of Cheetos.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

You could go ham if you got into a fight with a guy, right? Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

You could go ham on a honey baked ham. You could go, they are delicious.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Why wouldn't you? Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. Hard not to.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. They're absolutely delightful.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. An Ohio woman is accused of breaking into her boyfriend's house and cutting his scrotum open.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, geez.

[Jess Hooker]

Police in Toledo filed warrants for the 45 year old woman's arrest after she allegedly kicked open the front door of her boyfriend's home and cut the victim's testicles with an unknown instrument.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, that's why I wear pajamas.

[Jess Hooker]

Authorities said the man's testicle was clearly exposed as a result of the laceration.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, man.

[Bob Kevoian]

Never really get a look see at those, do you?

[Jeff Oskay]

No, you don't.

[Bob Kevoian]

You know that you know they're in there. You never really get to see him. It's like that Schrodinger's cat thing. Yeah, Those testicles, I always think they.

[Jess Hooker]

Look like chest nuts. Like when I'm making like stuffing with chestnuts. I feel like that's what your guys.

[Tom Griswold]

Kind of whitish.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

And they're kind of.

[Jeff Oskay]

I wish you could see the. What Jess is doing with her hands as she's describing these nuts.

[Tom Griswold]

She was kind of rolling them around in her palm.

[Bob Kevoian]

Do you remember.

[Jeff Oskay]

What are the. What are those, Benoit? What are the balls that you wore?

[Jess Hooker]

Not the Beno balls.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, are those different?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, that's very different.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, the. We had this discussion because I remember, remember, we had. We actually had some in the studio they're called. I believe they're called nudicles.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

And they were. What is it called? Medical grade plastic scrotal nuts, if you will. What's the.

[Jess Hooker]

Testicles.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. A dog testicles. I believe they have them for cats too. So if you have your dog neutered, which you should of course, if you have your dog neutered, if you want to. You can have. When they open up this. They can. Can replace them with these plastic. I'm not kidding.

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[Jess Hooker]

So that they're not embarrassed around their other dog friends.

[Bob Kevoian]

But what's interesting about it is I. Apparently the human versions of those are extraordinarily expensive.

[Jess Hooker]

Really?

[Bob Kevoian]

So I don't know if.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

I don't know if you could. Hey doc, look, I know that you've got the ones that are 3,000 bucks, but I. I got Ty guy. I went over to Fido's and got a beer for.

[Jess Hooker]

I brought this jar. Chestnuts. Can you use one of these now?

[Tom Griswold]

I can't stop licking them. I am looking at a picture of testicles outside of the sack.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

And it is turning you on. No, it is a whitish. It's almost like an eyeball.

[Jeff Oskay]

White.

[Jess Hooker]

May I see?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes. Let me see. Let me see. Wow.

[Jess Hooker]

Part of the chicken.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Looks like a garlic clove.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, kind of.

[Jeff Oskay]

It looks like a ocular nerve hanging off of an eyeball.

[Bob Kevoian]

Right, right.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

I always thought they'd be.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I did not think that's what they looked like.

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, they're like moles, you know, they don't see any light. Of course. They're going to be translucent.

[Tom Griswold]

They're like underwater creatures. Yeah, there's a deep sea. Exactly, exactly.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm trying to find how much nudicals are.

[Jess Hooker]

In case you guys were wondering. The 45 year old faces charger charges of felonious assault and aggravated burglary.

[Tom Griswold]

Dude, any girl stole the ball too.

[Jeff Oskay]

Any girl who can kick in a front door.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, man. Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

You want to stay away from that.

[Bob Kevoian]

There's a mug. There's a mug shot and she's smiling away.

[Tom Griswold]

What did he do?

[Jess Hooker]

No kidding.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, I. I suppose.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's the problem with it because we're. We're immediately assuming. Yeah, maybe there's a reason.

[Tom Griswold]

Right?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. I don't know what it would take.

[Tom Griswold]

I'd like to think there is a reason though. I.

[Bob Kevoian]

If you attack the nut bag, I think you're a nut job. I'm saying.

[Jess Hooker]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

It a woman you would date.

[Jess Hooker]

Is she pretty?

[Tom Griswold]

Judging by the Mug shot.

[Bob Kevoian]

I know. No, no, she looks insane.

[Jess Hooker]

Not like, not like the crazy woman from earlier. Earlier this week.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She looks like a psycho. Okay. Very testy. Okay. I just. I just. I'm sorry, I'm distracted. I just looked up nudicles. Yes, testicular implants made for neutered pets. Most commonly dogs to restore their natural appearance after the removal of their testicles. Reasonably priced.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, what do you get? What does the set cost you?

[Bob Kevoian]

$57 to $169 dollars.

[Tom Griswold]

Are they buy one, get one?

[Bob Kevoian]

That is a fair question, I assume. God.

[Jeff Oskay]

And there's one just slightly. A little larger than the other one.

[Bob Kevoian]

It says the primary purpose of nudicles is to make a neutered pet look like they have not been altered. Addressing owners concerns about their pet's appearance and self esteem. Do they self esteem their dogs? Yeah, I think they. They know.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you guys ever. I. I'll say, boy. Boy. One out of every 15 times I get out of the shower, my scrotum will hang a little lower than the testicles themselves. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Jess Hooker]

Yes, same.

[Bob Kevoian]

I don't know what you're saying.

[Tom Griswold]

So, you know, let's say you take a sock and you put two billiard balls in it.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, first of all, congratulations.

[Tom Griswold]

All right, now those billiard balls are going to go to the bottom of the sock. They're going to totally hang at the bottom. But sometimes my scrotum will hang. The skin will be loose. Like there'll be a loose flap and then testicles and then the rest of the sack.

[Jeff Oskay]

It's like the billiard balls are only like three quarters of the way down.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. It's almost like my sack has a reservoir tip.

[Jeff Oskay]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Does that happen to you too? Yes, but it doesn't happen all the time. It's just some days. But I don't know why.

[Bob Kevoian]

The moon.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

I've not experienced this never happened to you? No, I. First of all, when I get out, I don't give myself a quick exam.

[Tom Griswold]

You don't know.

[Bob Kevoian]

Especially lately because I'm not allowed to lift anything over £15.

[Tom Griswold]

I see. You're. Yeah. You are out of the way.

[Jess Hooker]

You know what? I think that that's from doing the back wings too much. I think that's what happens. Do you do that a lot?

[Tom Griswold]

I am. I'm. I'm doing all kinds of tricks. Yeah. In the shower sometimes I see if I can stretch it and come and do sort of a. Just cover everything.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now, do you Have a.

[Jeff Oskay]

Do you have a brontosaurus thing? That's great.

[Bob Kevoian]

Do you have a. An ancillary water source in your shower where you can.

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Bob Kevoian]

Like a handheld squirter gizmo?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't. I love the shower. Shower head.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. So I love that too.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, those are always nice.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, I learned real quick when I moved in with my girlfriend, the shower head was horrible. So I took off the one that had the wand. I just put like a normal shower head on it.

[Jess Hooker]

When did she start talking to you?

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, she told me I needed to go buy a new shower head that had a wand on it.

[Bob Kevoian]

You gotta have a wand.

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, yeah, that's what I learned.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay. Yeah, I'm. I'm not. This. This testicular anomaly that you're describing. Perhaps. Perhaps someone can weigh in from the audience.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, right in. Send us pics.

[Bob Kevoian]

I do not know what that means.

[Jess Hooker]

Talking about the nudicles for dogs, by.

[Bob Kevoian]

The way, just real quick. More than 500,000 pairs of nudicles have been implanted.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, I know somebody. I'm gonna ask him if they have.

[Jess Hooker]

One for their dog.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, for himself.

[Jeff Oskay]

No, for himself.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'll get back with the ones for human beings are. I just remember we looked it up once. They were a lot more.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, you would think.

[Bob Kevoian]

What were the. What would those be called?

[Jess Hooker]

I don't know. We knew a guy in college that slept wrong and cut off circulation to one of them.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh.

[Jess Hooker]

We called him One Nut Nick.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, boy. I'm sure he appreciated that.

[Bob Kevoian]

Wow. The next time Greg Warren's here, maybe no Neck Nick can meet One Nut Nick and they can have a little. Little discussion. Okay, what have you got over there?

[Jeff Oskay]

How do you spell testicles?

[Tom Griswold]

They call them prosthetic testicles.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So it just.

[Bob Kevoian]

Does it give a price?

[Tom Griswold]

I'll take a. I'll take a look here. T E S T I C L.

[Bob Kevoian]

E. Okay, I'll get it for.

[Jess Hooker]

Scientists at the University of Texas in Arlington are trying to translate dog barks. So maybe your dogs would be able to tell you, hey, give me some testicles.

[Tom Griswold]

I'd like nudicles.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes, please. Dr. Kenny Zhu, a professor of computer science, is currently using machine learning. Morning. To translate a catalog of dog sounds into phonetic representations and eventually words.

[Tom Griswold]

I can't help but be skeptical, but I. I will remain open minded.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes. So far he has transcribed about 10 hours worth of barks into meaning.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay. And this, if you read deeper into this article, this guy received a grant approaching half a million dollars.

[Jess Hooker]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, boy.

[Jess Hooker]

Dr. Zhu told CBS News it boils down to facilitating better communication between different species. And ultimately, we just want to have a better world.

[Tom Griswold]

No. Kind of lofty, but no info on. He found that some barks mean hungry or some barks mean squirrel, I think.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. My dog Sparks mean. There's some dude at the door or could I have more bacon?

[Jess Hooker]

Right.

[Bob Kevoian]

Forget about the dude at the door. There's a squirrel out back.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

This is nothing.

[Jess Hooker]

Nothing. It is nothing.

[Tom Griswold]

How did he explain this to the funders?

[Jeff Oskay]

Did you. When I had my child, someone gave us a book or it was a DVD on how to recognize different cries. And it was like some woman who was like a renowned, like, orchestra lady, could hear tones and she. You listen to baby's cries, and it would tell you what they meant.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. I need to be changed. Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

And it was a bunch of bull crap that they also. So basically, for an hour and a half, I just had to listen to babies cry. Oh, I think like, anything miserable.

[Jess Hooker]

You as a parent, know what cries? What? Yeah, it takes a. Takes a month or two, but you figure it out.

[Bob Kevoian]

Let's face it, dogs are liars. Oh, I'll walk in and I'll go, have you eaten yet? And Mr. Fletcher. To my dog.

[Jeff Oskay]

Dog.

[Bob Kevoian]

And he goes, no.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh.

[Bob Kevoian]

Then I. Then I go grab the bowl. It's obviously freshly licked.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, he's just. You got a dishonest dog there.

[Bob Kevoian]

Kelly fed you, huh? No, No. I can tell you've eaten. No, I haven't. Oh, yes, you have.

[Jess Hooker]

We had that situation at our house, and our dog put on 20 pounds because somebody was feeding him in the morning and somebody was feeding him at night. Full servings both times.

[Bob Kevoian]

And the whole time the dog's going, I haven't eaten yet.

[Tom Griswold]

The whole time the dog's going, I haven't eaten yet.

[Bob Kevoian]

Absolutely.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes. Whoops.

[Bob Kevoian]

There's that rare dog that will, you know, not overeat. But a lot of cats won't overeat.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, no, they know. They know.

[Bob Kevoian]

Not all of them.

[Jess Hooker]

Do you have a dog that'll tell on himself to one of your dogs? Like, if you ask something, does he put his head down? Our dog will, like, did you. What did you do? And he just puts his head down. He knows he's in trouble and.

[Bob Kevoian]

No, he'll go, could we go to the store? I'd like some more bacon. What the hell's going on here? Who's giving your dog bacon, by the way? This is staggering.

[Tom Griswold]

What's that?

[Bob Kevoian]

The cost Of a fake testicle. Okay, you want to take a guess?

[Jess Hooker]

I'll say a good testicle will run you $15,000.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I was gonna go three grand.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, I was gonna say 500.

[Bob Kevoian]

The cost of a prosthetic testicle varies. Significant. But the total surgical procedure can range from 5,000 to 13,500.

[Jeff Oskay]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, just pretty close.

[Bob Kevoian]

So I guess. So that includes the fee of the surgeon, right?

[Jess Hooker]

Anesthesiologist.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

That's not. That's not terrible.

[Bob Kevoian]

And you don't want this done in a garage.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I'd give my left nut to have somebody else.

[Bob Kevoian]

You want this to be done by medical professionals?

[Jess Hooker]

By the way, that's the same range as breast augmentation. So is it? Yeah, that is.

[Tom Griswold]

What is your best boob job gonna cost you?

[Jess Hooker]

I can tell you what my best boob job cost me.

[Jeff Oskay]

Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

$9,000.

[Tom Griswold]

All right.

[Jeff Oskay]

A breast.

[Jess Hooker]

No.

[Jeff Oskay]

Or total?

[Jess Hooker]

Two.

[Bob Kevoian]

Did you get it undone?

[Jess Hooker]

I did. I had it undone.

[Tom Griswold]

Should be illegal. That should cost 75,000.

[Bob Kevoian]

Spoken like a true sexist pig.

[Jess Hooker]

It was. It was about half of what it costs to have them put in.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, I would have done it for a thousand. I would have taken those bad boys.

[Tom Griswold]

Can you. Can you sell those?

[Jess Hooker]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, doc, if I want those, I'm gonna sell them.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Can you imagine there'd be. There could be celebrity breast implants out there.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I mean, women have them switched out often.

[Bob Kevoian]

So you could get game worn.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Wow. By the way, this says this testicular implant thing, you can get a bargain if you pay cash. It says the average cash price for a testicular prosthesis insertion is $7,510 dollars. Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay. I'm trying to find the just what costs just for the fake testicle, and it looks like it's about three grand, so.

[Tom Griswold]

Parts only. You don't want the labor.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, but you just bring in, like, an Aggie marble and.

[Tom Griswold]

Silly putty.

[Bob Kevoian]

Why couldn't you. Why couldn't you just bring in one of these dog ones? The nudicles?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

For 200 bucks.

[Jess Hooker]

What if your family member died and you wanted to keep it? They could cut it out and give it to you.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I have my father's balls. Really? They.

[Bob Kevoian]

I love that song. I have my father, my father's balls. Oh, that's my mother's eyes. Sorry, I always get those two things confused now.

[Tom Griswold]

I.

[Bob Kevoian]

By the way, I wouldn't be surprised if there are people who, when someone dies, take part of them. Yeah, it might be like, can I have his artificial eye?

[Tom Griswold]

Right?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

That would be always watching me.

[Jeff Oskay]

They're taking tattoos now.

[Tom Griswold]

That's right.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Grizzly. But hey, what are you gonna do.

[Bob Kevoian]

If your daddy had a glass eye? Do you want to have it hanging around? Turn it into a nice necklace.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's all my kids are getting. I'm leaving them my crappy tattoos. Have fun.

[Bob Kevoian]

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[Announcer]

For a complete copy of the Bob and Tom show contest rules, go to bobandtom.com contest rules or just scroll down to the bottom of the page and see contest rules. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey there, Bob and Tom show here.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

From live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios having a great morning. There's Jess Hooker at the Silac Insurance Company news desk. Hi, Jess.

[Jess Hooker]

Hi.

[Tom Griswold]

There's Jeff Oskay.

[Jeff Oskay]

Good luck tomorrow, buddy.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, thank you. I'm gonna be doing some fishing with my older brother in a charity tournament at the Lake of the Ozarks.

[Jeff Oskay]

Looking forward to it.

[Tom Griswold]

There's Ace Cosby. Hello, I'm Josh Arnold. And there's Tom. And maybe I'll bring you guys each a fish.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, yum.

[Jeff Oskay]

I'd like a perch.

[Tom Griswold]

I'll see what I can do.

[Jess Hooker]

Are those the worst ones I have?

[Jeff Oskay]

No.

[Jess Hooker]

I don't know. Delicious carp.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, that's the source.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I've never even eaten carp. I. I've heard it's actually tasty. It's not.

[Jeff Oskay]

I don't eat it.

[Tom Griswold]

Same. But I've heard that that's one of those fishes that I think a lot of people purify. Like, they'll get it, they'll catch it, and then they put it in, like, a tub for a week and let it. Let all the impurities out.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, Yeah. I don't know.

[Jess Hooker]

I don't know.

[Bob Kevoian]

What are you fishing for?

[Tom Griswold]

Largemouth bass is tomorrow's tournament.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay. So you bringing your own rig?

[Jeff Oskay]

I will have.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm bringing five rods and reels. Yeah, yeah. Each rod has a reel.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, that's a good idea.

[Bob Kevoian]

This is kind of like a guitar player on stage. You. You got your Gibson for the one fish, then you whip out the Fender.

[Tom Griswold]

This is for. Yeah. Different. Different baits on each so I don't have to keep retiring.

[Jeff Oskay]

Tell Tom how many. Your friend. Our friend. How many poles he carries on his boat when he goes out for a tournament.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, there's probably 30.

[Jeff Oskay]

30 to 40.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. Now, he will hold. He'll probably use the same eight, but.

[Bob Kevoian]

This is exactly like going to see a live music.

[Jeff Oskay]

No, it is.

[Bob Kevoian]

You see the guys that have 40 guitars backstage. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You have different types and different.

[Jess Hooker]

So is it the same as, like, Chick does on NFL Sundays? If his team isn't doing well, he switches the jersey he's wearing. If you're not doing well, if they're.

[Tom Griswold]

Not biting a particular thing, I will switch.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay. Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

And whose boat are you on?

[Tom Griswold]

Jeff's my older brother.

[Bob Kevoian]

Is this the one that I offered to more hate the name on it?

[Tom Griswold]

Now, you were offering to do John's my. The brother just below me. And he was reluctant because he has small girls.

[Bob Kevoian]

So we were going to name it.

[Tom Griswold]

What Bass to mouth. He was willing to do it. His wife didn't care for that.

[Jeff Oskay]

What about this brother? Would he be okay? Jeff? Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

He thinks it's very funny, but he.

[Bob Kevoian]

Would never do it.

[Tom Griswold]

Free vote.

[Bob Kevoian]

Can you imagine if you did win? And the announcement. And while we have Jeff Arnold board the best. They probably wouldn't approve. Now, coming up on Monday, we're going to get this story about the post orgasmic illness.

[Tom Griswold]

Boy, that sounds like a real bummer.

[Bob Kevoian]

It is for guys. And then also we're going to find out about how they captured a monkey with coffee. Oh, that is one hipster monkey.

[Tom Griswold]

Don't let me throw poo until I've had my coffee mug.

[Bob Kevoian]

He's rolling his own cigarettes. There's nothing funnier than watching a monkey smoke. But can you imagine what a hipster. He's got a beret. He's rolling his own cigarettes. He keeps quoting camus. What a dick. We are in the Aurelio to auto parts studios. This is the Bob and Tom show.

[Announcer]

Hey, thanks for listening this morning. Got something to say? Send us an email. Bob and tom. Bob and tom dot com.

[Bob Kevoian]

The United States soccer federation presents the u. S. Soccer podcast.

[Tom Griswold]

Searching for an inside look at the.

[Jeff Oskay]

People, stories and passion that fuel the state of soccer in America.

[Bob Kevoian]

Who's going to be the key man for the u. S. Men's national team?

[Jeff Oskay]

First and foremost, they need to win.

[Jess Hooker]

There's something so, so fun about being the underdog.

[Tom Griswold]

You're playing with house money. Almost.

[Jess Hooker]

But what does this success mean for the future of U.S. soccer?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, you're getting deep now.

[Jeff Oskay]

This is where soccer will come to life.

[Bob Kevoian]

The u. S. Soccer podcast. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.