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A
It's the Bob and Tom show, ladies and gentlemen.
B
My name is Dick.
C
So good to see you in the groove here.
D
Yeah.
C
Oh, yeah. Yeah, we can tell.
B
I was working in the lab late one night. When my eyes beheld an eerie sight for my monster. Now Dr. Ms. Slaven rose and suddenly to my surprise.
A
He did the mash.
B
He did the Monster Mash.
A
The Monster Mash.
B
It was a graveyard smash.
A
He did the mash.
B
It caught on in a flash. He did the Monster Mash. From my laboratory in the castle east to the master bedroom where the V the ghouls all came from their humble abodes to get a jolt for my electrodes. They did the monster Mash.
D
The Monster Mash.
B
It was a graveyard smash.
D
They did the mash.
B
It caught on in a flash.
D
They did the mash.
B
They did the Monster mash. The zombies were having fun. The party had just begun. The guests included Wolfman Dracula and his son. The scene was rockin'. We were digging the sounds. Igor on chains backed by his baying hounds. The coffin Bangers were about to arrive with their vocal group, The Crypt Kicker 5. They played the Monster Mash. It was a graveyard smash. It caught on in a flash. They played the monster out spun his coffin brake voice did ring. Seems he was troubled by just one thing. He opened the lid, shook his fist. Whatever happened to the Transylvania twins? It's tag on stomach and it's a graveyard smash. It caught on in a flash. It's now the Monster Mash. Now everything is cool. Drex part of the band. And my Monster Mash is the hit of the land for you.
D
You were living.
B
The mash was meant too. When I get to the door, tell them Boris sent you. Then you can monster mash.
D
Monster mash.
B
And do my graveyard smash. You'll catch on in a flash.
E
Then you can mash.
B
Do the Monster mash. Easy, Jim McGee, you impetuous boy. Joshi, take your hands off that pizza and out of your pants. Christy Lee poops back in the brassiere. And who's the sexy one with the bouffant pull that face. Oh, and there's a lovely lady, too. Make me a frittata, bitch.
D
I must go.
C
You forgot me again.
A
Who? Pat Godwin.
B
You owe me money. Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Dick Mango.
A
The Mango Man.
D
Dick was drunk, but I like the note. The Aces Buffon joke. Yeah, I don't even remember that.
A
Christy, put your boobs back in your shirt. What was that?
D
When I put on. When I put on the Dick Mango jacket, I lose Control. I can't.
E
You're breaking the fourth wall.
D
I mean when Dick Mango puts on.
A
Yeah, there you go, there you go. Hey, it's the Bob and Tom show from the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios there.
D
Wait a second, wait, hold up. The Colts just scored again. Okay, go ahead.
A
Oh, Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance News. Yes, they're very good. There's Pat Godwin Welco back. Thank you, sir. There's Josh Arnold. Hey Chick. Ace Cosby, I'm Chick Biggie. Hello, hello, hello. I'm at the prize pick sports desk, by the way. Yes, I have documentation to prove it.
F
Uhhuh.
D
Speaking of picks, how'd you do last week with the famous shoeing of the week?
A
7 and 6 or 8 and 7, I'm forgetting which. I think it's 7 and 6. Well, ending tonight's game, the Redskins, I mean the, yeah, the Washington team. Washington football in Kansas City, which will be, as I say, during these matchups, Kansas City score just as many points as they want to or until they get tired.
D
Just one game tonight.
A
Just one game tonight. Thank you. However, I will tell you, being a lifelong NFL fan, I kind of missed the Europe game yesterday morning. I, I, I wish there was one at 9:30 Eastern Time yesterday.
E
Yeah. Football all day.
A
Yeah, yeah. So you wake up and kick the TV on from 9 until 8 or well no, 11 at night.
D
There are more Europe games coming?
A
Oh sure, oh sure. Germany and all the place.
D
My prediction is in 10 years the NFL will expand the season and give each team two or three bye weeks and therefore an ergo. And because of that have time to do a Tuesday nighter or just to make sure that every evening is covered with.
A
Well, I guess the players association is coming at it. They want quarters counted much like when you letter in high school. So players don't play more than 16 or 17 games. No matter how many games are scheduled. You don't play 16 games worth. You know what I'm trying to say?
E
Oh, I see what you're saying.
D
That'll ruin the game.
A
Like if there's 20 games, such and such is going to sit out. Kind of like the NBA does when you know, load management.
D
Yeah, that's a ripoff though. If you, sure, you take your, you take your kids to go see LeBron and he's sitting out that night.
A
Or you take your kid to see Patrick Mahomes and oh, he's out for the next two weeks resting with Mrs. Mahomes making babies.
D
Can't blame him.
A
No. Well, Mrs. Mahomes seems like a chore. That's just. That's just me. Does. Yes, she's. That is a project. Yeah.
D
You missed the. I guess is funnest award. The most fun story last week to.
A
Me was the hit me daddy.
D
The NBA bust. When they described the way they were cheating at poker with a. With a machine that. Could I whatever. X ray the cards or something.
A
Yeah. It's not.
D
I mean then they said it was for 7 million bucks. There's. They spent $7 million on the table and the. And the glasses.
E
I think that was a low.
D
Yeah. That's going to be.
A
Well, Chauncey Billups giving gamblers heads up. And I'm going to have. Josh is normally my point guard. He'll be sitting this after this evening, so you might want to bet. Yeah.
D
I think the main accusation with Chauncey is he was enticing suckers to come sit down at the table with those guys.
A
That's true.
D
But the other interesting thing was they are saying that everyone at the table except the one guy, the sucker knew what was going on.
A
I hadn't heard that part.
D
Yeah, all of them.
A
Oh my gosh.
D
The bartender, the guy at the front door, the guys with the machine guns.
A
Yeah. That sounds like a Sopranos thing.
D
Yeah.
A
Yeah.
D
Well, interesting. But I believe it was. Was it Josh who pointed out that you're not concerned about the system of justice getting.
C
No, no. I think the FBI and everybody should lay back now and just let things take its course. This will solve itself.
D
Let the fellas.
A
That. Let the fellas work it out.
D
Yeah.
C
Someone is going to figure it out.
D
Yeah.
E
Well, the NBA looks terrible because didn't the guy who was the player that was rosier. Yeah.
D
Guy from Miami.
E
Yeah. They had already investigated him and found nothing. They said, oh no, he's good. And then of course the FBI comes out and says no.
D
The deeper question is when a guy's making 27 million bucks a year, why is he dicking around?
E
Right.
C
It's not about money. It's about the thrill.
A
It's about the juice, man.
C
Yeah. It's about getting the guy.
E
Yeah. It's about their ego.
D
Charles Bartley said it's because they're stupid.
E
Well, there's that.
C
Yes. Chick, you're right. The action is the juice.
A
That's right.
F
Yes.
A
And you know, when a true gambler, when he gambles and wins or loses, he'll think, I didn't win 100 bucks. I should have bet 500 and then I would have won that. They always Concentrate on what they could have bet. Even they. Even when they win. I should have bet more. Yeah.
D
Now, we have some interesting stuff coming up in the news. A scientific explanation coming up of something we've talked about quite a bit involving coffee.
A
You'll be cup of Joe.
D
Yeah.
A
30 weight.
D
In this case, a cup of Fluffy.
A
They're making coffee out of dogs?
E
What?
D
No, they're making coffee out of cat poop.
A
Oh. Oh, Fluffy. Fluffy the cat. You're right.
D
You have a dog named Fluffy. I'm concerned that's a cat name.
A
No, you can have a Pomeranian name dog to me or a Havanese or whatever the hell.
G
Right?
A
Yeah.
D
Cabochon.
G
You think anybody has a designer as.
C
A kid named Fluffy?
D
A nickname probably.
C
Well, a given name.
D
Are you kidding? Look at. Look at contemporary culture. Of course there are idiots out there. Fluffy.
A
Course there are idiots out there.
D
I mean, if anyone ever thought that people were smart, they gotta open up.
E
A newspaper that brings up Gabriel Inglesias. They call him Fluffy.
A
Sure, yeah.
D
Oh, he's great.
A
Is there a nicer guy on face of the Earth?
E
No.
A
Amazing.
D
Nope, there is not. What a sweet guy. And funny, too. That's what. That's what counts. In any event, you'll see what I mean when I tell you what's going on there. Also, I did a little bit of research over the weekend. I found something interesting. Anybody know what Bum fuzzle means?
C
I don't.
A
It's where you take a homeless person and you shave them. No, I don't know. What?
D
Yeah, this is the category from Mental Floss of words that sound fake but are real. Because, I mean, let's face it, Bumfuzzle. It sounds like the last name of a guy in a Charles Dickens novel.
C
It does.
E
Or something in Harry Potter.
C
Yeah, it sounds like somebody trying not to say BF when they really, you know what I'm saying?
D
Bumfuzzle apparently means to confuse, perplex or fluster, which makes perfect sense.
E
Sure.
D
The example they give this year's corn maze was so complex, it bumfuzzled visitors. It also sounds like something that an amorous couple that time of the month. She says, well, just give me the old bum fuzzle.
A
Oh, my gosh, give me the. The high hard bum fuzzle.
C
Yeah, I think there's a kid out there named Bum fuzzle.
A
This isn't funny, guys.
D
Yeah, they're me. But I predict his parents are gonna get shot by young bum fuzzle. Well, let's see now. A little sports preview over there.
A
Game three of the World Series tonight. It's all tied up. We had a Sunday night football game and I hope you had the Packers. Andy's happy. They beat the Steelers last night in Pittsburgh.
E
He was there. He's on a plane right now. He was up all night.
A
Oh, I think I saw him on tv.
G
And yeah, he's.
A
Cam. Yeah. That wasn't. That wasn't you.
C
That's.
A
This is uncomfortable. 35, 25. Your final last night. The Giants are up upset and rightfully so. One of their rookies got injured over the weekend. It could have been Scatterboo. That's his last name, Cam. Scatter boot.
D
And that Scatter boo sounds like a word that is fake, but isn't.
A
Yep. I would have bet any amount of money that you would have mentioned scat. Something about.
D
Yeah, I was gonna say scatter boo sounds like what you do on Halloween when you take poop in a bag and set it on fire in someone's doorstep.
A
I gave him the old scatter Boo boo.
D
The joke is they come out and stomp it out.
C
I mean, I got scattered grapple over the.
A
Brian Kelly got fired and yeah, he has a big buyout. I'll tell you how much. And other sports coming up, including no bungee for a bungee jump.
C
Oh, boy. That just sounds like falling to me.
D
Well, it's. There's a problem.
A
What's that motivational quote? Just take that first step even though you can't see a staircase or something.
D
No.
A
No, thanks. No, I'm not doing it.
C
Somebody tear that poster down.
A
Yeah, right.
D
That is what's happening. But right now, what's happening in my shoes? Orange Insoles.
A
It's a party. Everyone's coming. Yes.
C
No tricks and all treats from our friends at Orange Insoles. You know, a good portion of the staff here at the show have them in their shoes. Right now they sent us insoles and we still use them. And that's because orange insoles give us the support that we need from the ground up. They'll do the same for you. Find the right insole for you@orangeinsouls.com Some options. The original full length insole. That's right. These are built for long shifts, for serious all day support. They're great for work boots and teachers. Listen up. You're on your feet all day. The deep heel cup offers real support, helping align your body and arch support. That holds up. Don't keep walking around with achy feet, back or knee pain. No. So that's the original full length. What about the brand new Orange Sport Insole for the active. That's right, they have O foam technology. The Orange Sport is made for movers, helping you power through your workout with 40% more energy return, three times more durability, keeping you light on your feet with less fatigue and more hustle. Go to orangeinsoles.com today because for a limited time, to celebrate the release of the new orange sport, get $10 off one pair of either the full length orange insole or the Orange Sport insole with this promo code. BobandTom. That's right. Three full words altogether, Bob and Tom, plus free shipping. This is better than any Black Friday special they've done or will do. So don't dilly dally, get on it. That's orangensouls.com, use promo code Bob and Tom, quick confession.
D
We had a pair of orange insoles in the package right behind me.
E
Sure.
D
So the camera could see it. I took them on Friday because I got a new pair of boots.
C
Nice, dude. Yeah.
A
Put the grabbies on them, huh?
D
Yeah. So we'll have to get another pair. Sorry. Want to have my new boots comfortable, so at least I do wear them. Coming up, comedian Dave Dyer. We have an update from the Louvre.
A
And were you making a big deal last week about reviewing things on Amazon?
E
Yes, he, he reviewed.
D
I reviewed something and yeah, I got a letter from Amazon back.
A
We have an email as someone has compiled all your reviews and. Oh, it starts with. You can almost hear the disdain in his writing. So you've reviewed other products?
D
Yeah. Is my sunglasses review there?
A
Oh, yes. Yeah. Oh, yes.
D
Oh, I didn't know they printed that one.
A
Oh, they printed five or six here. We'll have them good listener emails coming up. Yes, sir.
D
That should be fun. We have that. And we have a huge dung news coming up this morning.
A
Dung, dung, dung. Okay, okay.
D
In a very odd way, of course. We are coming to you from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. And this is the Bob and Tom show.
H
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A
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Top Show. There's Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance news desk.
E
Hello.
A
Dun dun. What is this? Is this a samba?
G
It's a samba.
C
It's a tequila rip off is.
A
Whatever. There's Pat Godwin.
G
Hey, Chick.
A
There's Josh.
C
He's afraid to play Dragnet, but he'll play this tequila rip off.
A
He's a. He's an enigma wrapped in a rifle.
D
It's not a rip off, it's a tribute. There is a distinct difference.
A
Yes, you're right, Chick. We get the prize pack. Sports Desk. Prize pick, Sports Desk. Make your picks at Prize Picks. There's Tom.
D
Hello. Thank you very much. Yeah, Chick, you missed quite a few interesting stories.
A
I missed a lot.
D
Were you here for the one about the. The. The. The new product from Kim Kardashian? Were you here for that one?
A
Yeah. Something about fake hair on your pair.
D
Of panties that comes with fake pubic hair.
E
Sold out. Can't get it.
A
Sold out.
E
Tried to buy you guys some for Christmas, so.
D
Oh, I was at dinner the other night. At dinner the other night with some friends.
E
Yes.
D
And that came up and turns out one of the couples, they walked into their daughter's bedroom and there was a pair of those sitting right there.
C
Oh, no kidding. Any. Any reason given?
D
No.
A
And they chose to share that at dinner?
D
Came up.
A
Yeah. Huh.
G
What was she, a younger girl?
E
She had to be a teen, right? No, no, no.
D
Of college.
E
Oh, okay.
D
Still.
E
Well, that might have been a joke or something.
D
I. I think that was Halloween coming up and. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Wear them on the outside. That would be. That would be very funny.
G
Doesn't everybody?
D
But we did have an interesting story while you were gone involving determinations of the. Of the male member based on one's grin. The morphology of the.
E
Oh, for God's sake, just say smile.
A
Okay.
D
It's based on your smile. Uh, the.
A
The morphology of teeth being exposed during pleasant experience in a wide matter.
C
I'll be honest, Jake. I'm a little surprised to see you this morning.
A
You know the time when. Boy, I'm glad to be back. Like 30 seconds, 23 minutes.
D
It was the size of the male genitalia based on the size of the smile. And it's called the Hung Smile Theory.
A
So the bigger the smile, the bigger the thing.
D
Yes, and it started with someone named Steven Brenland on Tick Tock. So you can imagine the legitimacy of the medical claims that appear on Tick Tock. As a general rule, according to the Internet, such actors as Hugh Jackman, Henry Cavill and Evan Peters of the American Horror Story series are well known for their well hung ness and their, their facial expressions are used as the smile. And for example, now I believe we have an example from this show. You'll see there's a. I'm on the left there.
C
How can you tell those smiles who may be well hung?
D
Now do we have these?
A
You look insane, Griswold.
D
Do we have the zombie version of this? There we go.
A
Oh, yeah.
D
We have to post this. That's from our, our friend.
A
Yeah.
D
Ronald McDuffin. That's.
E
I know, right?
G
Tom's teeth.
D
That's. That's.
A
Well, he was kind to you and your hair there, Pat.
G
Yeah, he gave me a lot of, a lot of nice hair.
A
That's glorious.
G
Yeah, Billy Bob Thornton there.
D
But we both look dead. Those are, those are some good zombies.
A
That's your zombie.
D
In any event, by the way, Dr. Rena Malik has stated there is no expression, posture or gesture that correlates with the size of the male member. So don't be fooled. It's not, it's not a thing. But Pat has chosen to put it to music.
G
Pants are overflowing. Put on a smiley face. Your bulge is always showing. Put on a big D face. But if you're a hung like a hamster, fake them out with a smile. Ladies will say, damn, sir, I'll bet you're packing like that guy in the Green Mile. If you have a stub like Ken Jeong, put on a well hung face. A tiny Dinklage or small dong. Still, put on a big D face. Let your low lip hang and they'll think you have a big wang. So put on a well hung face.
A
Hi.
D
Oh, do you know what that's based on?
A
Put on a happy face from Guys and Dolls. I don't know.
E
You're close.
A
Yeah.
G
You're real.
A
I know. It was a play. I'm not sure.
D
Dick Van Dyke saying it.
C
Paul Lind.
E
Paul Lynde Ann, Margaret.
A
Bye Bye Birdie. Is that a Bye Bye birdie?
C
Yeah.
D
But we did have a letter writer point out that unfortunately for Pat, hamsters have proportionally larger testicles compared to their body size.
A
Just the testicles?
D
Yeah. This is according to this news account. Especially notable in the golden hamsters, where the testes appear. Quite large. Hamsters produce an enormous quantity of sperm.
E
They have a lot of babies, too.
D
Yeah, well, that's probably why.
A
Have you seen a hamster baby? Those things are hideous.
E
There are no hair, Pinky.
A
They look like dead birds or something. Yeah.
D
Thank you, Pat. Got a nice letter, Pat. You were busy over the weekend.
G
Nice show.
D
Yeah.
A
Are these listener emails brought to you by Sleep Number? Enjoy personalized comfort for better sleep night after night. Oh, I got back to the Sleep Number bed doing some business last night. Oh, my God. And now it's the Buy More Save More event. Save on beds, bases, pillows, and more only at sleep number or sleepnumber.com.
D
All right. I love my Sleep Dump. This comes to us from Mr. Webb. I wonder if it's Jack.
C
It's not Jack Web.
D
It's not Jaguar.
A
Well, I'm pretty sure it might be. It might be.
C
No, it's Zach Webb. Because we have to do something slightly off. That's what Tom's fear of the Dragnet lawyers.
A
I enjoy that you won't play, Tom. That I'm dumb. But you'll play. Oh, come on. What a mess.
C
It's embarrassing.
D
All right.
A
We also found out we haven't gotten this deep.
C
Dude, last week we got a full minute in. It was crazy. I don't know how long it actually goes.
A
The whole song. How long is it? Do you have.
G
It turns into Star Wars.
C
Yeah, I think it's nuts.
D
This is wrong. It says 21 minutes. That can't be the. Oh, let's see this. This is from Mr. Webb. He goes, I took my wife Judy. Oh, Judy. To see Pat Godwin Saturday night at Mason City Limits.
A
Wants her money back.
D
I've been watching you guys since the mid-80s. My wife had never seen or heard Pat. Oh, I've never seen her laugh so hard. She'd love to hear her name and car in. Oh, I see.
G
Oh, Judy was part of the Springsteen magic.
D
Okay. She told me if Pat ever plays in the Peoria area, we're gonna go see his show. He has a new number one fan.
E
All right.
G
Very sweet.
D
That is very nice. What is it?
A
The town you come from this to the car. You drove something. You go on automatic pilot, don't you?
C
I love it. Oh, absolutely.
A
Yeah.
C
Yeah.
D
Now, I've got a letter here about seeing Dave Dyer. Should I save that for when he calls today?
C
Yeah.
D
Okay, good.
A
Are we gonna act like he's here if he calls or can we just.
D
There was mention that Pat, Dave Dyer and Greg Hahn are going to be in Green Bay. Is that next Saturday?
G
This Saturday.
D
Which should be the next Saturday.
E
No, that'd be this Saturday.
A
So this Saturday is this Saturday.
G
Don't try to spin it. You made a mistake.
E
Next Saturday is Confused people.
D
Next Saturday coming up is.
A
No, no, that's this Saturday. Would you call Friday? You call Tomorrow next.
C
It's November 1st, right?
G
Yes, November 1st.
E
Okay, there's Saturday.
C
It is.
A
Okay, well.
D
Well, we will.
A
You mean to tell me tomorrow's not next Tuesday?
D
Yeah, it's the next Tuesday.
C
According to his logic, tomorrow's.
A
Yeah, right.
D
I'll see you next Tuesday. When does that. Never mind. We'll just move forward here. Do you have any letters over there?
A
Would I. Oh, no, that's not right. Dear Bob and Tom show. This is from Bradley on Friday show. Tom mentioned his review of the Fig Newmans.
D
I got a cases. I bought six boxes of them because I like them so much, but they arrived really stale.
A
So you thought.
C
Yes.
A
You'd bring them into us.
D
I only brought. Yeah, I brought some of them in here. I did. I opened up one box. It was. I didn't think they'd all be still, but as it happened, Ms. Hooker turned them into a delightful pie crust.
A
That was amazing. That's true. They actually allow you to find Tom's other Amazon reviews online if you do a quick search.
E
Really?
A
Dot, dot, dot. Bradley continues. A personal opinion here from Bradley. You can hear the disdain in the writing.
C
Oh, no doubt.
A
Among the gems.
D
Does it have the sunglasses in there?
A
A pair of sunglasses from Thomas. They may look like Ray Bans on the Internet. Don't be fooled. These are five dollar drugstore quality sunglasses. They're awful. Don't try. No. One star.
D
Oh, you can't give zero. If you can, I don't know how.
A
And then. So it doesn't give the product, but it said does not include the cord to recharge. Two stars. What did you order that didn't have the cord?
D
God, I don't know. Whatever it was, I was pissed it off.
C
I don't think Newman.
E
This is a guy who says I never make. I don't ever review things.
D
Every once in a while.
C
Do you ever leave positive reviews?
A
No. Well, no. Not here. No.
D
Yeah, I have, but I don't like the fact I got one from this last week and they said they. They're going to publish it. No, it was from a car dealer. I don't want my name out there. I was going to give it a 5 star review all the way through, but I don't want my. He said they're going to put your email in there.
A
What?
D
Yeah.
C
Oh yeah. No.
D
You review something if you read the fine print. We have the regular. I'm not. I don't want email out there.
A
Huh.
D
I get enough morons emailing me.
C
Hey, I can text you instead.
A
We email you a lot.
D
Your honor. I rest my case.
A
You. Evidently you have me blocked on your email because I can't get through anymore.
D
But I think I got another one of those things this morning. If I don't. If I don't pay this fine today, they're taking away my driver's license.
C
You better just pay it.
D
Can't we find these people and every Friday night burn them at the stake live. I would be. I'll light the match.
A
I got something that said my. My garbage truck needed to be re registered with the state or my dump privileges would be taken away.
C
Well, I. I hope you paid the.
A
Fine because I said this is great.
D
Does that mean in this building I can start disallowing dump privileges for certain staff members?
A
Absolutely.
D
Well, we're not going to fire you, but your dump privileges are gone.
C
I've gotten some text recently. Once a week now I get these sex that are kind of mean because it's. You should see the new auburn wig we have for you. Oh. It's all about wigs. Every week I'm getting a text someone wants to sell.
E
Wonder where you are.
C
And wigs.
D
Do you get the one about. This is the. This is the tax season. Which I don't think it is. This is the tax season. We've got a $50,000 loan already approved for.
A
I get that.
D
I get that every couple days.
A
Every day. Yeah.
C
Terrifying.
D
There has to be a way. And then when you press that button that says report junkie. Yeah.
C
I feel like you're actually. It's triple these please. Is really what you're hitting. Is.
D
Is that. Is that also a scam?
C
It seems like it.
D
No, seriously. We need. If we need to catch just three or four of these people and literally burn them at the stake on live television. I think that might discourage this dramatic. Just saying.
G
I got one yesterday. Hi, I'm Sadie of West staff. Are you still open for work? And I replied hello, I am Balzac of norcom. If the pay is good, I'm always open for opportunity.
F
What.
A
What are you doing now?
E
Did they answer you back?
G
No, it said not delivered. So they must have been pulled off.
D
The your report, John.
C
But they don't even let you have fun.
G
I know it's a time to have fun.
D
Isn't there a thing where they want you to answer and say anything because they can AI your voice and oh, enter your bank accounts or something.
A
What?
D
Yeah, you're not supposed to say anything thiefing. Because I mean the tenant everyone want to answer and go by the way, I'm a wizard and I'm cursing you and all of your family members. You're all going to die of cancer in the next month.
C
Wow, a terrible wizard.
E
No joke.
D
They deserve it.
A
Jumped up a notch, didn't it?
D
That are that or death by fire. Either one. What? What? What? They're disturbing me.
C
I get it, I get it. They're a menace.
A
More Lister emails coming up brought to you by sleeping number.
D
Oh yeah. And another song from Patty G. Sure. One of the ones that Chick Chick missed some delightful.
C
And I have a question coming up about gay dating.
E
Okay.
A
Okay.
C
Yes.
A
Not just dating, but gay dating.
C
Yes. This has particularly do with gay men dating.
A
Okay, okay, okay.
D
Is this based on something I saw yesterday? Okay.
C
Yeah.
D
All right. Apparently you weren't watching football.
C
I was not.
A
That's right. There are no gay men who like football. You're right. All those tight white pants, prancing around.
D
Welcome to fun with stereotypes.
C
You know, today we're gonna who's awful at riding bicycles? Well, let's see.
A
And driving. How about those people, huh?
D
By the way, I had that stereotype reinforced. Not gonna say where I was. I was in front of an Asian restaurant. The.
A
You know, I haven't been gone long enough. Obviously. Time to get back to the good.
D
News is apparently it's a good Asian.
A
Restaurant because the the Asians eat. That's what you want to say?
D
Exactly. The Silac Insurance company has asked me to quiz Mr. Chick Magee. We call this the McGee Three. And why you've been going a lot of developments. Let's see how you do, Chick. Okay, now it starts with Dear Chick, I want to browse and read about all the Silac annuity options. What is the Silac insurance company's website address?
A
That's easy. Silacins.com. just that simple. That's S I L A C I N S dot com.
D
A very good question too. Silac is offering a 20% bonus by going from a 401k to a Silac annuity. What is the story with that, how can I learn more and where?
A
Well, once again, go to the silac website. That's silac ins.coms I l a c I n s.com and click on the Bob and Tom logo to request more information.
D
No, that'll be handy. Get some information about that that's staggeringly interesting. And then, last question. Mr. McGee, great to have you back. Would you be kind enough to use your mellifluous voice to read the SILAC disclaimer?
A
Actually, it would. I'm already tired. Over to you, Christy.
E
Premium bonus may vary by annuity product, premium band and surrender charge period selected and may be subject to a premium bonus recapture. Some products with bonuses may offer lower growth rates or caps. Consult your financial advisor. Terms and conditions apply. See silacins.com disclosures.
D
Very good, young broadcaster. Did you hear the quality of that disclaimer, Reed? That was. That was professional. Coming up, we have more of your letters if you want to reach us. Bob and tomobandtom.com Sporting news on the way. We have a world record. We have cats in the news in two odd ways and gay men.
C
I need an answer.
D
O that's come. That's next.
C
Yes.
D
Okay. All right. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
H
More of the show is on the way. You can find us on X at Bob and Tom or you can email us at bob&tomobandtom.com we are the Musers on the pod. So far we've discussed people we love.
A
I didn't tell you guys. Cuban emailed.
I
What are you wearing?
A
Well, no, that's not. The things we love got way into typewriters.
C
How many typewriters do you own?
D
Let's not podcast anymore.
C
Guesstimate.
D
It's time to get really down and dirty.
A
These are great ideas. Start a podcast and then forget to promote it on social media. So what is our podcast about? Yeah, whatever we feel like the musers.
H
The podcast. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.
A
Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. There's Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance news desk.
E
Hi, Chick.
A
Thank you. There's Pat Godwin.
G
Hello.
A
Hey, there's Josh Arnold. Hi there. There's Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick. Hello. The first face I look for and the last one I find, it's Tom.
D
Thank you very much.
A
Hi, buddy.
D
We can't read all of the letters you send us.
A
Why not? It would take more time. It take more time than.
D
We had two issues. Music, time constraints. Of course. And secondly, sometimes they're really good, but just inappropriate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This one is a great letter from a great place. Albany, Oregon.
C
Huh.
D
And thank you, Joel, for taking the time to write.
A
They must get Albany, New York's mail.
D
It's very scary. And thank you. I can't say much about it, except it does involve.
E
What?
D
A table saw.
C
Oh, my. All right.
A
What are you talking about?
C
Oh.
D
All right.
C
So I think. Check.
I
What?
C
Let me.
D
You.
A
You chose to read a letter that you can't tell us anything about other than a table saw.
D
Yeah. That's enough. You'll. You're.
C
We have to walk around going. I wonder. Like. Whereas. It's just not a fair thing to do to us or the listener. No.
A
Now, people thought it's probably imaginations or word. What, he cut his hand off or his penis.
C
Yeah. Yeah. His balls got caught in it.
A
Yeah.
D
The problem is the dream does involve something that might take place in a woodshot.
C
Oh, it's more dream talk. I'm fine with you not reading it, but.
D
No, that's. No, that's the problem. It's not just the dream.
A
It actually happened.
D
Yeah, he.
A
Is he still alive?
C
Sleepwalking type thing.
D
The other aspect of it is it involves a real X ray. I'll put it this way. This involves a table saw.
A
A table saw in his ass.
D
Table saw. An X ray from an oral surgeon. That's enough. Everybody got enough to know? Okay, good.
A
Oh, piece of wood.
D
Thank you. Thank you, Joel.
A
I'm not going to expect Dear Bob at Top Show. This is a report from Friday show. I was not here, so I'll get caught up. I look to see if any Canadian citizens are on the 2025 Toronto Blue Jays. You guys were talking about this because.
D
When they won the World Series the first time, there were no Canadians.
A
Right. Vlad Guerrero Jr. Was born in Montreal, Quebec, to be near his mother, who's from Montreal. And Vlad is the only Canadian citizen currently on the team.
C
Gotcha.
A
There you go.
D
That's cool.
A
And here's a picture in 2003 of Vlad Guerrero Jr. As adorable as anything. And his dad, Vlad Guerrero Sr. Oh, my God. His dad played for the Expos. And there's Junior hitting home runs now for the.
C
Love It Blue Jays.
A
Isn't that great?
C
That is wonderful.
A
He's a cute little fella.
E
Yeah, he is.
A
Remember.
D
Remember the jingle for Expo 67?
A
Adorbs. I do not. I'd love to hear it, though, because I got wrapped up in ex. Something about weekly reader books.
D
I like the. They had the thing called Habitat. I'm supposed to be the future of architecture, and it was this really cool stack.
A
I was only 10 and 67, so I didn't notice much, much other than I found my penis something like that.
E
Oh, my gosh.
C
Well, yeah, I bet. Yeah.
A
Yeah.
C
You knew it was a peeing thing, but yeah.
A
Yeah, I peed through it. Got the hang of that.
D
I'm. Anything I mentioned somehow. I, I, I'd like to apologize.
A
Like you're not potty trained? Is that what you're telling us?
E
Well, I hope so.
C
For now.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
G
You lose those skills.
C
I can't wait for those days.
D
The circle. The circle of life.
E
You guys don't dribble a little bit when you sneeze or cough.
C
I mean, there's a ton of shaking that has to go on.
G
A lot of shaking going every now.
A
And then when I go to the bathroom and I really have to go, and then I stand there like I'm waiting for a bus. I got that going on. Oh, really?
C
Oh, real geez.
A
Any day now.
D
As1.as1 ages. The shaking eventually evolves into slapping it on the wall just to get that last.
A
Well, you know, just me.
D
Okay.
C
Okay.
A
Shake it more than twice.
C
I thought you were blessed enough to sort of siphon the last bit.
E
Whoa.
D
Deep, too. Okay. More letters. Anyone?
A
I've got it. Dear Bob. And top show, what in God's name happened on Monday? On Sunday Night Football last night, The Pittsburgh Steeler uniforms. It looks like a Halloween costume I wore when I was growing up. Oh. I said, mom, I want to be the bumblebee from Transformers. And that's what they arrived at. Look at that.
D
Well, just in the top and then the, the pants, they don't match. The pants look like they're the color of. Of Clarisil.
A
And you can tell his religion.
E
Beige.
A
Can you see his.
C
Is that what that is down there?
D
Yeah, that is a mini. Mini.
A
Zoom in on that.
C
Yeah, those are tight, I guess.
A
Yeah, get close.
D
That's something else. That's like a.
A
No, that's his.
C
It's not a piece of. It's not a fabric of some kind.
A
Yeah, it's a.
C
It's his wiener.
D
It's a thing of snuff.
A
I hope you guys are seeing this. On YouTube. This is the wildest thing we've ever done.
E
Right now, those are the ugliest color of pants I've ever seen.
D
Like a light, almost nude light tan. Yeah, that's.
E
I do not match that shirt.
D
No, but the reason they do this is.
A
Is.
D
Is a simple one. Sure. What is it they get to sell? Hey, you want to get the.
A
Cool.
D
Well, now, here's throwback jersey.
A
Here's the Steelers jerseys from last year. I think the throwbacks or the year before.
D
Those are really Bumblebee. That looks like a rugby shirt.
A
Yeah. And then we also, I think, very.
D
Broad horizontal stripes with huge numbers.
A
Now, my least favorite are the Giants. They're red and blue with kind of a Michigan Wolverine helmet going on. That. That's another throwback there. Those are. See the wings on the helmet?
E
See, they have, like, the beige pants, too. What is.
A
That's a New York Giant from back in the 90s, I guess.
E
They're wearing white.
D
Matches high socks with a big stripe. And those also look like rugby a little bit.
A
Yeah.
D
And did you see the ones. Was it not San Diego anymore? The Chargers and the all yellow. Yeah, a couple Sundays ago.
A
Chargers have great uniforms.
E
The powder blue and the UCLA colors.
A
They're really cool.
D
I wonder if anyone's done a study of. Does that have any effect on the game if the teams have sort of similar. In other words, when you're out there and you're a quarterback and these guys are about to. Trying to kill you, coming at you, is it always easy to tell which guys are on your side? You know what I'm saying?
A
I think it's primarily. I would think helmet colors would cause you more.
D
I wonder. But I'm just wondering. Quarterbacks have a. If they. Yeah. If they decide. Okay, I'm looking for helmets.
A
Right. I would think so. You have to. Especially the shorter quarterback.
D
I think I mentioned this in the air last week. I heard the funniest thing. It was an interview. It was a podcast interview. And the. The interviewer and the guy he was interviewing had exactly the same voice.
E
Oh, yeah, you said that.
D
And it was so busy. I wanted to write him a note going, hey, fellas, identify yourself before he talks. I don't know who's talking. Very, very odd. Unfortunately, all of our voices sound different. Right.
A
I guess you and I are kind of close.
D
Really.
A
I get that every now and then, but I. That's why I try to whine so much.
E
Yeah. I sound just like Pat.
A
So it's. Yeah, you don't. I hear Pat And Christy sounds.
E
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
A
Pat.
F
Yeah.
G
That wine went right to my throat.
A
Yeah.
D
It was almost like an SNL skit with the guy answering his own question. It was really funny. Let's get back. Oh, wait a minute. We gotta take a break here. And coming up, we have update from the Louvre. I heard a guy.
A
I have my own theory I'd like to share with you.
E
Are you going to talk about the pronunciation of Louvre?
D
The guy called it Louvre.
E
I heard that, too.
A
Who said that?
E
And that's wrong guy.
D
Yesterday on npr, every now and again.
C
I'll hear a slight.
A
Yeah.
C
They'll say. Yeah.
A
What do you mean, like a louver Kind of.
D
Yeah, a little.
C
But I don't like.
D
I don't. I get kind of pissed.
E
A little R in there.
D
But I don't, I don't like it when I missed a Louvre. Louvre, though. When someone who say is of Mexican heritage, when they get to the name of the city, they pronounce it in Spanish.
A
San Diego or.
D
No. But yeah, yeah. I don't know. I just find that mildly irritating. We don't suddenly go, well, alive. From Perry. We have.
E
Well, I heard this morning, too, you.
A
Guys used to pronounce Quebec.
C
I was gonna say Tom and Chris, you're guilty of this.
A
Yeah.
E
No, it's Quebec.
A
No, it's Quebec.
G
We're sticking with Quebec.
A
Yeah.
D
I believe the, the, the English way to pronounce that is Quebec. Quebec, the French way.
A
Well, then why is everybody.
C
I'm American.
A
Saying Quebec?
D
What.
A
How did you set pronounce Quebec? Yes.
G
Notre Dame. Not Notre Dame here in the States.
C
Yes.
D
It's Mile in Michigan, not Milan.
A
You're wrong.
D
All of these.
A
Well, I'll bet you ninety thousand hundred dollars and it's.
D
And it's Rougeville, Indiana.
E
It Grand. Not the Rio Grande. When I lived in Albuquerque.
A
How's that?
G
Lima, Ohio, not Lima.
E
Come on. That's not right.
A
It's a Ryo.
E
Grand Rio Grande.
C
It's not pronounced Bo Red. It's bored.
A
More fun with words coming up.
D
It's not pronounced asleep. These are the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
H
Got a comment to share? Text us at 888-262-8661. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
C
Everyone knows the legend of D.B. cooper, but what if I told you.
I
There'S an even better story out there, One with multiple aircraft hijackings, prison escapes, and so many twists and turns. I'm talking about the hit podcast American Skyjacker, which is now an action packed documentary coming to theaters and streaming this fall. Find out more at www.americanskyjacker.com and listen to our bonus episode of the podcast. Coming soon, American Skyjacker. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.
E
Incredible.
A
Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee, who's mad at me just from that second.
E
I'm not mad at you.
D
I am him.
A
Well, yeah. We can't go forward unless somebody's mad at somebody. Ideally, everyone's mad at everybody, but we can't.
C
Will you please continue the intros?
A
There's Pat Godwin.
D
Hello, Mother. Please, I'd rather do it myself.
C
Jeff.
A
Okay. Is that Aniston?
D
Well, one of those. A headache classic commercial.
A
There's Josh Arnold. Huh. He's at the I hate Steven Singer sidekick chair. There's Ace Cosby. Hello, I'm Chick mcgee at the Prize Picks sports desk.
C
Well, how about that?
A
Big time Sponsors over here. Hello, Tom.
D
Now it's time to stand corrected about.
C
Oh, boy. What did I say that was wrong?
D
No, no, I did. I. I was surprised because we've been hearing a lot about the museum robbery in Paris because it's so cool and it's like something out of a movie. They. There is an update. They arrested a couple guys, but.
A
Yep.
D
I heard a guy yesterday call it the Louvre. I thought. I thought it was just the Lou. So I looked up the official broadcast pronouncer.
A
Okay.
D
What does it say? Christy Lee?
E
It's Louvre. He's right.
A
It's Louvre.
E
He was correct.
D
But I had never. I always.
A
But in French talk, don't they. They don't like consonants in French talk.
E
Well, they kind of soften the R a little bit.
D
Then they spit. What I. And while we're at it. Coming up later on this today, we have a news story. A tragedy. Really. Some douchebag sets his Porsche on fire.
E
That is a tragedy.
D
What a waste.
E
Yeah.
D
Such a good car.
A
I have my own theory about.
D
It is pronounced Porsche.
E
Yes.
A
Who robbed the Louvre? I believe we have a picture. If you get this, you can be.
C
You may be right.
D
David Niven. Oh, sure.
A
That, of course, is Sir Charles Panther. The Pink Litten, remember? Plus so says that. That's right.
E
We've been watching the Pink Panther movies.
D
Yeah.
E
They're so fun.
D
They are.
A
Cato. Cancel the attack. Kato.
D
Now, we were talking a little bit about sports and Chick had the. The throwback uniforms of the Steelers.
A
Yep. Pretty much.
D
By all accounts, hideous have you seen the. The throwback uniforms of the Baltimore Ravens? They just dress up as the Browns.
C
They went way back.
A
That's. That's actually, you know, the Titans wore the Houston Oilers. Yes. And they got. They got some blowback from Houston or somebody. They were upset that they were doing that. I don't know.
D
Once someone at the high end of the National Football League doesn't have a sense of humor. Are you kidding?
A
How dare you.
C
I watched no football yesterday. I did what most red blooded American men do. I went to the movies.
A
Oh.
C
A local theater was showing Creature from the Black Lagoon in 3D.
A
Tom. Tom, would you go with me?
D
I would love to see that.
C
I was over. It was one day only. And it was awesome. It was a lot of fun.
A
Did you get the glasses?
C
Oh, yes. Yeah.
D
Now, is this why you have your question about gay dating? Yes. Yes.
C
So There were about 10 people in.
A
The theater or so, and some of them gay.
C
And I. Yes. There was a. There were two dudes. Handsome, my age, well dressed.
A
Right.
C
You know, none of those things suggest absolutely gay, but it's a good indicator.
G
Sculpted bodies.
C
I couldn't tell their physiques through their clothing.
E
Did they sit next to each other?
C
They did. Right next to each other.
A
Disposable income.
C
So there was no rainbow boots.
D
Could he tell the story before I.
C
Turn off your m. So they're sitting a couple rows ahead and to the right and they're talking a little bit. And, you know, they're talking loud enough to where I can hear. Okay. They are. They are acquainted, but they are. They are also kind of getting to.
D
Know each other also get back a first date.
C
Right. And so. But I'm still not assuming they're gay. I'm just. But that does kind of go, oh, I wonder if this is a date or if they're just buddies who are new friends or whatever. Movie plays it's fantastic. The movie ends, Everybody leaves. I go to the restroom, and I see that one of the gentlemen is outside the restroom, clearly waiting for the other one. Now I go in, the other one is at a urinal. And I'm a stall urinator.
A
Right.
C
Because sometimes I get shy.
G
Yeah.
C
So I am in the door.
D
Close.
C
No, no, I just left the.
D
In the stall. The door is open.
C
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm pants.
D
Pants down to your knees.
C
No, of course not. Now who's Mike needs to be turned? So.
A
So there you are.
C
I'm peeing. We both wash our hands afterwards. And then as. As I exit, I notice the Other guy then goes into the bathroom and the second. And the dude who peed first is now waiting.
E
So he didn't want to be.
C
And in my head I went. I think this is a sign that they are gay. And on a pretty first, second, or third date, they didn't want to pee at the same time.
G
That's exactly right.
D
You think?
C
But I want to know from gay. Our gay men.
E
That's interesting. They didn't want to see each other's.
C
No, no. I think that they didn't even want to hear it. They didn't want to be in.
A
Right.
C
So.
E
Because guys and girls don't go to the bathroom together.
C
So I wonder.
A
But I'll go to the bathroom on a girl.
C
But two buddies will go.
D
That's the fifth date. I think that's the standard, isn't it? We gotta do some talk date five before you date.
C
But if Pat and I leave a movie, we both go and we both need to pee. So I. I just want to know, from gay men, is that a thing that maybe you would do on a first or second date is not pee at the same time because it would.
A
Be too forward, maybe, or too intimate maybe.
F
Man number two had to go number two.
A
Oh.
F
And so he was waiting for it to clear out so he could go.
D
Yeah. You certainly wouldn't want to do that on a first date.
A
No. Harvey, Harvey, I'm gonna need a book of names here.
F
I'll be right back.
C
But let's say chick and I, you and I leave a movie theater, Right. The movie's over. I have to pee. You have to go number two pretty badly. Do you wait for me? I pee first.
A
No, no. I go to the stall and do my business. Yeah. I try anyway.
C
So gay men, please chime in.
E
Okay.
C
Did you notice one popcorn or two? None. Oh, they did not have popcorn or. So how can you do that?
F
They raw dogged it.
C
Yeah. Yeah. So. Which I do that a lot at the theater.
E
Do you really?
G
Yeah.
E
Oh, I can't see a movie without.
A
A movie and not eat popcorn.
C
Oh, I do it all the time. But mostly I have a soda, though.
A
Commie.
E
Oh, well, he's got.
D
You're making. You're making that kind of money? You can pay for a soda at a movie theater.
C
Yeah. And you know whose fault it is? All of you. And here's what I mean. There was a time when movie theater prices started going up and up. And you all could have said, we're not doing it. We are not paying these margins. But no, you let it happen.
G
We took it.
C
And so now we, the younger generations, have to suffer.
A
That is a lot of popcorn for eight bucks.
C
But.
A
It'S, what, like, eight cents for that popcorn product?
C
I'm paying, like, $7.50 for a soda. It's crazy.
A
Yeah.
D
But if you didn't do that, pretty soon there aren't going to be any movie theaters, so.
C
Yeah, no, it's.
D
God bless them for staying open for a while.
C
And I was really happy to see that there were at least like, 10 people at 1:30 on a. On an NFL Sunday seeing Creature, because I want things like that.
D
Yeah. But I tell you what, the Colts did so well that during that scene in Creature from the Black Lagoon where they cut to the Colts and they score again.
C
No, no, again. My point is, there would have been outrage.
G
Yeah.
F
Now, did your date. Did he think they were gay?
C
I asked him, but he had something in his mouth at the time and.
G
He said, popcorn trick again.
D
Had to go.
C
Perverts.
D
Okay.
C
You know how hard it is to answer with a mouthful of Milk Duds?
D
Let's move forward here.
E
It's a 3D good. 3D.
C
Excellent.
E
Really?
C
And I'd never seen a black and white 3D.
A
Yeah, that's not the color.
D
How do they do 3D after the fact? Yeah.
C
What do you mean?
D
Was that originally filmed in 3?
C
Yeah, that was an original 3D.
D
Because the photography in that movie is amazing.
C
Yeah. Really great.
D
The underwater photography.
C
Yeah.
D
And the guy that played the creature just died a few years ago.
A
And that.
D
When Was that made? 50 something.
C
Yeah, that's like 56 or 54 or something.
A
What if they didn't have great special effects? What if the guy who played the creature. That's what he looked like.
C
Right.
A
Had a hideously misshapen face.
D
Oh.
A
Looked like a creature.
D
Always terrifying.
F
Remember when you would get the 3D glasses, like in the newspaper, and then that Friday night you would, like, watch the.
A
Sure.
F
It never worked for me.
C
Yeah, it never really worked.
F
I think it's because we only had a black and white tv, and you probably had to have a color TV for.
C
If you had the red and blue glasses. Yes. Yeah.
F
I sat there for two hours watching black and white going, these 3D effects are horrible. I had no idea.
C
Yeah.
D
Now, before we get back to sports. Before we get back to sports, we. You missed this one, chick. I know you're not a fan of jazz.
A
I wouldn't say that. I would say I like good jazz. I don't like kitty cat on a keyboard. Jazz or whatever you're listening to. It's too busy.
D
Too busy.
H
It's.
D
It's the great Ray Bryant Trio.
A
Like Miles maybe and Bird Parker and you know, man. Nope.
D
A little bit of angel eyes from I'm out. The Ray Bryant Trio. You don't love this.
A
I don't love this.
D
Oh, the guy's a genius. The reason I bring it up, you missed this news story about the farm called in your favorite place in England. The Smith Hills open farm.
A
Yes.
D
They brought in a band to play jazz for the dairy cows.
A
A whole band?
D
Yeah. That's cool.
A
They couldn't just pipe in music off. Yeah.
I
Really?
E
Ipod.
D
Hey, look for the. It's good for the players. Get nothing better than live music.
A
Yeah, I bet. I bet your typical jazz musicians joined the hell out of that. Well, yeah.
D
It's a gig. They get paid ban.
C
There was no reason given if it was helpful for the animal.
E
There was no reason.
C
Yeah.
E
The story was.
C
Did it? I think they just wanted to be on the news a little bit.
D
But we got a letter about it. Oh, let's see now. Here we go. Dear Bob and Tom show writes Chris, currently driving a truck in Montana. Beautiful spot. He says, you guys are talking about those cows.
A
You don't know. It's beautiful spot Montana. It might be the, it could be.
C
The eight mile of Montana.
A
It's not all gorgeous in Montana. It's like anywhere else.
D
He's a trucker, so eventually he's going to come to a beautiful spot in Montana.
A
I will give you that.
D
I contend that in large part it's very beautiful. There's probably a landfill somewhere. That might not be attractive smelling, but.
A
They call it big sky country.
D
But I get back to my point.
A
Yeah.
D
He goes. I can't remember exactly which day it was last week. You guys were talking about the beautiful cow music. I'm a night shift truck driver.
A
Cow music.
D
Tom, how did you miss the obvious punchline? The cow jazz band had one hell of a horn section. Chris, I apologize.
A
Wow. Did you hear that? Silence.
F
I don't think cows have horns.
A
No, I don't think they do.
E
Bulls do, don't they?
G
Yeah, bulls.
A
I, I sorry, sorry.
E
Montana that have those long horns.
C
I know the most about comedy in this room and I'm gonna allow it.
D
Oh, how about this? Maybe.
A
Okay.
D
I suggested last week that they were playing Miles Davis kind of moo.
C
Your thoughts on that?
A
Kind of blue and kind of moon. No, no, I'm not going to allow it.
D
How about Coltrane?
A
Coltrane live at Herdland instead of birdland. Herdland.
C
No, I know, I know.
A
You're lucky.
C
These are the second times.
A
I had no idea we longed to.
C
Be in that city so much.
D
Sometimes it's about the moos you don't make. Which I thought.
F
No, I said, actually, it's about the cows you don't milk.
D
Okay, that's even funnier.
F
Yeah, of course it was.
D
Doesn't even get a ch.
A
Let me tell you about Simplisafe. Do it yourself, homes. You know who watched over my house while I was out on the road? That's right. Simply say, yeah, the compound was secure. Typical security systems don't prevent someone from entering your home. Oh, no. They really only react once somebody's already inside your house touching your stuff. Of course, that's too late. Real security should stop a crime before it even starts. That's why I trust and you should too. Simplisafe. And we use Simplisafe here at the Bob and Tom studio. Simplisafe actually stops a crime before it starts. They have AI security cameras identify the threat and alert Simplisafe's professional monitoring agents. The agents take action, confronting the criminal and if they need to, trigger sirens and spotlights and dispatch the police. Unlike other systems, Simplisafe doesn't need you to see the alert and confront the intruder yourself. Of course not. With their 247 monitoring agents, it is like having a security guard stationed right outside your home. That's why I use Simplisafe and you should too. Plus they have a 60 day money back guarantee and no long term contracts. And right now we have a deal for you. The deal to end all deals. Bob and Tom listeners can save 50% on a new Simply Safe home security system. Just go to simplisafetom.com that simply save tom.com and save 50%. There's no safe like simply say a.
D
Little bit of in the mood. Get it? Get it.
A
You all got that?
D
These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio. A little bit of Glenn Miller, ladies and gentlemen.
C
You know, there's a Glenn joke to be made too.
D
What is it?
C
Yeah, like a pasture.
D
Go ahead. Go ahead and do it. We have Tom Glenn.
C
Oh, I don't think we do have. This is Glenn Miller. Meadow.
G
I know you got us to laugh.
D
Thank you. I appreciate that for somehow knocking my crappy jokes up a notch.
C
That's what I'm here for.
A
Thank you.
D
Turning the massively mediocre and just merely mediocre. Certainly appreciated. From the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
A
Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Tom, you're really something.
D
Thank you.
A
We're back in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee at the Neo's desk.
E
Hey, Chick.
A
There's Pat Godwin. Hello, Jeff Oskar. Josh Arnold.
C
Hi there.
A
He's the I hate Steven Singer sidekick chair. There's Ace Cosby. I'm Chick mcgee at the Prize Pick Sports desk. Football action. Even better with Prize Picks. Download the Prize Picks app and use the code Tom and get 50 bonus credit instantly when you play. $5 must be present in certain states. Visit prizepix.com for restrictions and details. Hello, tomorrow.
D
Hello, Chick. Are we gonna delve into the world of sports? Quickly.
A
Dear Bob and Tom Show. This is from Chris in Boise, Idaho. Just wanted to send you a picture of my puppy dog.
D
Oh, boy.
A
We always welcome these. He is a Shar Pei. They are amazing family members. This is the sexy look from the Sharpay.
C
Oh, sure.
D
He's on a chair with the one paw casually.
A
And you can zoom in on that hog, will you? That's probably. Oh, yeah.
F
That's a nice boudoir photo.
C
There's no reason to be shy.
A
Does he say hello to Lambo? And you see the green and gold baby?
C
I want to squeeze his face. Don't you want to squeeze his face?
A
I want to squeeze.
C
Hi there.
D
Yeah, they were super popular in the early 80s and then kind of fell off.
A
Yeah, well, I think they get yeast infections.
D
That gorgeous little doggy. That's a beautiful shot.
E
What?
A
What? What? I'm sorry.
E
Nothing.
A
Okay. Yeah.
C
You guys may have noticed in the green room there's something new. That's right. I bought us all a new toaster.
E
Thank you.
C
Very cool toaster that we've been using since I got here is completely useless now.
A
What. What brought you to this dismal end?
C
The fact that it would not toast my bread no matter how high I cranked up the knob.
A
Just wouldn't do it.
C
It's like you put it in and there was a guy in there who just went.
A
Went.
D
Wow.
C
So I have this new toaster and it came with this incredible guide.
E
Okay.
C
Of how to use the toaster, which it's fairly self explanatory.
D
Does it begin? First, fill the tub with water.
C
But look at this. It has pictures that correspond to the levels of the toaster of how light or how dark you may want to your toast.
D
And it really goes all the way.
F
Yeah.
C
So you have level one to level six.
A
I Wonder how accurate that is.
C
And I was. I'm gonna guess, pretty accurate.
E
I'm surprised that one side's different than the other.
C
Isn't that interesting?
A
Yes.
C
I just want you to know both. I mean, they're not so different.
D
Oh, so it shows. I see. So it shows. When you put a piece of toast inside, a will look like this, and side B like this. And so the side on side B is significantly more toasted.
C
No, I don't.
A
Isn't.
C
It's not significantly.
A
Not significantly more toasted at all.
D
Look at the top one.
G
Snowflake.
A
How could you look at that picture and say something so stupid?
D
Let's compare it to human flesh.
C
Nothing. No, no. That people were legitimately fired from radio shows for doing that. I'm just trying to. I don't know if you remembered that.
A
I got back in time just for the end. That's exciting.
C
But I was curious as to what your levels might be.
A
Feet.
E
That.
C
And I know this is visual, but level two?
D
Everything beyond level two is.
G
No, believe it or not, I used.
D
To be higher than that.
A
I'm. I'm a three, man. I like three.
G
Yeah, I'm not.
C
I. I'm. I'm a two or a three, but I would. If I will eat level four, I will, too.
A
Did you. Did you just hear Tom? Listen to him. We. We give our preferences for toast, and he says, no, no.
D
If you were in a restaurant and they brought you a blt, that was. That is, in effect, black.
A
In effect black now is what he's saying.
C
Even level six isn't black.
E
Yeah.
D
Yes, it is. Well, it's blacker than my shirt.
G
You got a blue shirt.
D
Well, that's it.
C
That's not. Neither here nor there, just so you know.
A
I'm just thankfully said shirt.
C
Christy, what are you.
E
I'm between a two and a three. Probably lean toward a two.
C
But you know what? You make a good point, Tom. For a blt, I'm closer to a one. Yeah.
G
Yeah. For that. Yeah.
C
Yeah.
A
I am going to say I. I'm curious about the one I'd like to try.
C
Well, we get. That's the thing. We get to try all these.
A
I like three, but I'm one. Curious is what I am.
C
You're una.
D
Curious. What brand of a toaster is this?
A
It's a workhorse of the industry.
G
Is that your Hamilton beach there?
C
This is your elite gourmet. Elite gourmet.
A
Oh, now, let me. Let me ask you.
D
What'd you pay for this baby?
C
I think, like, 40 bucks.
A
Now, when you put bread in there, do you have to push a lever down to get your bread started?
C
Never force foods into the toasting. I don't see a lever.
D
Have you used it yet?
C
No, I just got. I brought it in the box today.
E
Don't you have one like it at home?
C
No.
E
Oh, I thought you bought it because you have one at home that you like.
C
No, the one at home is fine.
D
Why did you buy this one?
C
Because the one that we have here was not toasted.
A
It was not toasted.
C
Now, Jeff found that it was toasting his pop Tarts just fine.
E
Yeah, but what made you choose this model?
C
This model?
E
Yeah, over all the other toasters.
C
It was modern and sleek, yet affordable.
E
Okay, it is.
A
It is. It's very sleek.
D
Does it say where it was manufactured? Fractured. I'm just curious.
C
Your mother's ass. Is that a city in Michigan?
A
I think it might. It must be.
D
I'm just curious how much. How much asbestos the Chinese put in that, when heated, infuses your toast and eventually causes extraordinarily painful death. Myasthenia gravis, whatever the hell it's called.
C
You can put bagels in it as well. It's good for that. That, and I made sure I got the. The right thing.
A
You ever get the. The garlic bread and the, like. It's called New York garlic bread or something. The yellow and red box. You know, you could put a slice of garlic bread in your toaster and bang, it's not too greasy. Ready? Just like toast. Yeah.
E
No.
G
My son would love that.
A
Oh, yeah.
E
All that butter in there.
A
Oh, yeah. It's really good. Oh, no, the garlic cheese, the. The cheese on it, too. That'll melt and get me toasted. But it's still very edible.
D
Do you take your toaster every now and then and pick it up and upside down and shake it?
C
I have a.
A
You don't have enough crumbs in your hair. Why are you doing that?
C
So mine does not need to be turned. I can remove the tray and shake that out and then put the tray back in. This has that as well.
D
Oh, I don't know if I have a toaster.
A
I don't know. You must have a toaster if I have a toaster.
E
Do you have a toaster oven?
D
No, I don't think.
C
I think toast is one of life's great, simple pleasures.
A
I just had it last night.
E
Combine, toaster, oven, air, fryer, grill. It's all in one.
D
Got the air for. You guys taught me that. Best. Best kitchen Purchase I've made ever wind cooker, please. That's what we call it.
E
I'm sure you do.
A
That's what you call it.
D
Excuse me. Set up, set up.
A
Withdrawn. Okay, fair enough.
D
Joke will not happen.
A
But, you know, I. I don't have to push my bread down. When I put it in the monster, I just automatically. I just put it in the slots in.
C
Oh, yeah, this one does have a lever. It knows I didn't go. I didn't spend that much, so that.
A
Must have been made by me.
F
Go with the 300 toaster last.
A
By the way, I have a very nice toaster.
C
Yeah, what's that company?
D
I was.
A
Oh, that is a real smeg.
D
That is. And that is a brand, and they are very nice, very popular. I went to. What is it called? Airbnb, and they had one of those. I took a picture of it because it made me howl with laughter.
E
Dolce and Gabbana even has a smeg toaster. How much that is?
C
Yeah, I paid 34.99 for this. And it's the. It is the analog. It says so here. So, chick, you must have the.
D
But not WI fi.
A
Sure. Yeah.
D
Now, in. In my defense, the other day, I was saying I liked the car that I have now because it has real buttons. And there was a big article, I think it was in the Wall Street Journal yesterday, or maybe the. The New York Times, whatever. But it was about how there's a return now to real buttons and cars because people don't like having. I hated having everything on a screen.
C
Yeah.
D
Because as I mentioned a few cars ago, to change the radio station, you had to pop go to three different things before you could change. It drove me crazy. But there is a return now to having actual buttons. People want to have separate analog buttons.
A
This is not. He's making this sound like a big deal. And it's.
D
If you were manufacturing a very expensive car.
A
It's not. What are you having trouble with? I virtually have the same entertainment, but.
D
I like the current car. Yes, it's nice. It's easy, but. But a lot. But it has a separate button for volume you don't have.
E
He was talking about the car before a couple before this one.
D
One I had before that.
C
It's a. It's a slog to listen to.
A
Yeah, Yeah. I forgot how hard this job is.
D
This is analogous to Josh wanting to have the classic toaster where you push the lever down instead of having to have. Does your toaster require a password? Is it Bluetooth enabled?
F
If your wi FI is out. Can you still make toast?
D
Exactly.
A
Thank you.
D
Thank you. That's exactly my point.
A
However, right now, sitting here, I could put some toast on.
F
Oh, man.
A
That's.
D
That's enough.
A
Hang on. Give me a minute.
C
Now, I do want to warn you guys, this is under the heading, before first use, set the shade toasting level to four without placing toast into the slots.
A
All right, that's an uncomfortable word. Shade. What shade is he?
D
You have to do a dry run.
C
Yes. You may notice a slight odor or minimal smoke.
D
Oh, yeah, that's the smell of fiberglass burning.
C
That's exactly right. This is a result of manufacturing residue.
D
From the fiberglass that they're putting into.
C
Your lungs and is not harmful.
A
Editor's note, thermal events have been known to occur at this point.
C
You may need to perform the step more. More than one time if the toaster emits an odor or smoke after the toasting cycle ends. So I'm just warning you guys, I'm about to do that.
D
Okay.
C
All right. So there may be a minimal odor or. And. Or smoke.
D
Chick, does your toaster have a password?
A
No, my toaster does not.
D
Okay, we are getting to that world pretty soon.
A
My refrigerator has a password.
C
You know what I bet we're getting to.
D
Wait a minute. But your refrigerator has a password.
A
My refrigerator has a password.
C
How does that work?
A
It's hooked up to the WI fi, and I can turn it on and off from here.
E
And why would you ever need to turn your refrigerator off?
D
You want the milk to spoil.
A
Well, you never know.
C
I like it.
A
Toast.
C
How many.
A
How often have you sat at work and go, boy, boy, I. I wish. You can check. You can check that. You can check how much food you have in your refrigerator.
E
You can look inside it virtually.
D
The rectal thermometer you were telling me about, does that hook up to your phone?
A
Am I supposed to go along with this?
C
Yeah, sometimes it's hard.
A
Yes, my rectal thermometer does have a password.
D
Is your. Is your password silly involving something of the natal variety?
A
Silly goose.
C
Tom, how many people in your house would you say eat toast?
D
I know.
C
You don't know if you have a toaster.
A
You don't even know.
D
I think there is one. I just don't eat toast at all.
C
Are there at least four people in your house that eat toast?
D
Possibly.
C
Okay, how about a toaster that when you press the lever, it reads your fingerprint and it toasted to the exact level that you want.
D
But can you set it for the other three?
C
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. So whoever presses it, it knows. Oh.
D
In other words, if I. If I were making toast but Finn, Hart and Kelly wanted it a different.
C
Shade, they would have to touch.
D
Do they have to report for duty or do they have to get their phones out?
C
That's why this toaster doesn't exist. There are numerous flaws.
E
Yeah, you can't make toast for your friends.
D
Can you imagine? Can you imagine being at a restaurant like they do for beef? They would go, how would you like your toast, sir?
C
Don't they kinda.
D
They don't ask you how you want your toast, do they?
A
No.
C
Well, maybe not. Where you go?
A
Where I go. Jenny's.
D
They. Where I go. They ask in French.
A
Well, they have to. Yeah. What would you like? A medium, medium brown on the outside or. And hot pink in the middle.
D
They describe.
C
I don't have to cut it. When it comes to the table. Yes, this will do.
D
Would you like your P and J cut in triangles or rectangles, sir?
C
No, they just assume. Every restaurant I go to, they just assume I want my toast. French. Drowning in syrup, sir? Yes, of course. Half a stick of butter. Yes, indeed.
D
Smothered sugar? Yeah. Thank you.
C
Well, between two pancakes, that's correct.
A
All right, let's see. More sports coming up.
D
Okay, good. And we are calling from the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. Hello, this is the Bob and Tom Show.
H
Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. The show is also out there for you on our YouTube YouTube channel. Watch and subscribe. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
D
It's okay not to be perfect with finances. Experian is your big financial friend and here to help. Did you know you can get matched with credit cards on the app? Some cards are labeled no Ding decline, which means if you're not approved, they won't hurt your credit scores. Download the Experian app for free today. Applying for no Ding Decline cards won't hurt your credit scores if you aren't initially applying.
A
Approved.
D
Initial approval will result in a hard inquiry which may impact your credit scores experience.
A
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Top Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee at the SILAC Insurance news desk.
E
Hi, Chick. Welcome back.
A
Thank you. There's Pat Godwin.
G
Hey, Chick.
A
Hey there. Oh, that a hoodie.
C
Got a hoodie.
G
Yeah, I got a hoodie on.
A
Yeah.
D
Under Armor hoodie.
A
Hey, everybody. Everybody see Pat's hoodie?
C
Hoodrow Wilson.
A
Oh, yeah.
D
Very, very ghetto.
C
What?
E
Ghetto.
F
That's very nice.
C
It is absolutely not.
A
What can.
C
Who's playing this now?
E
Yes. No.
A
Hey, it's Josh Arnold, the I Hate Stephen Singer sidekick chair.
C
Visit Steven Jewelers atIhateStevensinger.com to find out why he's the most trusted jeweler in America and why he's the second most hated person in America, behind Tom.
A
Behind Tom. Right behind Tom.
D
You know, we're enjoying a little Bix Biter back.
C
Oh, I do like Bix. That's I Hate Stephen Singer Dot com.
A
There's Ace Cosby. I'm Chick mcgee at the Prize Picks sports desk. Hello, Tom. Hey.
D
How's it going?
A
Public enemy number one? We were.
D
We were in the green room just now.
E
Did you try out the toaster?
A
Tell me all about it.
D
Once again, Josh bought a new toaster, and interestingly enough, I haven't heard one.
C
You're welcome.
E
I said thank you.
D
You have to do a dry run with no bread in it.
A
Give me a full report.
E
Right.
D
And you want to explain what's happening?
C
Yeah. To burn off the manufacturing residue, as they put it, you have to do one or two of dry runs. And that's going on and. Yes. Yeah, it's. There's a. There's an odor, and I didn't see any smoke, but there's an odor. It's kind of like when you turn your heat on for the first time every.
A
Oh, yeah.
D
Except it smells more like a child's plastic toy that's been in the microwave for 30 minutes.
G
Yeah.
A
Yeah.
D
Giving off toxic.
G
I put ribs in there. I thought you said dry rub.
D
I'm sorry.
C
Well, I look forward to those toasted.
D
Ribs, but I know this. You spent 40 bucks in this thing.
C
35.99.
D
Yeah. Yeah. Well, you don't really have expectations for this thing lasting more than a couple years, do you?
C
Of course I do. What?
G
Looks like a good one.
C
What would you pay for a new toaster?
A
If something happened to this toaster, would you take it to get it repaired?
C
No.
A
Of course.
C
No.
G
Yeah.
C
Now, if something happened in the next month, I would contact the seller.
D
Now, it doesn't have a password, though.
C
No, of course.
D
Like Chick's refrigerator.
A
That's right. Right. One, two, three.
D
Your refrigerator is hooked up to WI Fi. I can't think of any reason you'd want to have that.
A
What do you mean?
E
God, I hope you go home and you find out your toaster's hooked up to WI Fi.
G
I bet it is.
D
Oh, God, I'm out of passwords. I can't think of anymore.
C
Why would a refrigerator need A password? Maybe you don't want your child opening it.
D
Maybe. Oh, I know. What if you get that prank phone call? Someone goes, hey, is your refrigerator running?
A
You good?
D
Just a second. I'll look. And you grab your phone. The phone. We're good. Thank you. Prince Albert's on the phone.
A
I just checked. My freezer is zero. My. My refrigerator. The main compartment is 33.
E
That's cold.
A
Okay, back to Utah.
C
That's a little chilly.
E
33 is too cold.
F
You think you tried to freeze us?
E
Are you freezing your milk?
D
Yeah.
G
The milk's got to be about 35.
C
Am I right?
A
I will counter that. With what? Milk.
D
Okay. Anti dairy. I forgot.
A
Oh, I have butter now.
D
Josh, you live alone?
G
Yeah.
D
I think you're the only one in here that lives alone. Ace, you live alone?
F
Yeah, I wish I lived alone.
E
Pat lives alone.
D
Your son is there.
E
Oh, not all the time, but enough.
D
To help out with this. The great advantage of living alone is you always know where your scissors are. All right?
A
That's the great advantage number one.
D
So when I get a package.
E
Yes.
D
I take it to my desk, and I have my scissors and my matte knife. My. What do you call it? What do they call them?
E
Box cutter.
D
Box cutter.
E
Yes.
D
Right there with the. With the retractable blade so nobody gets hurt.
A
What did you call it?
D
A matt.
C
We used to call it, like, he's.
D
Doing scenic on stage crew. We called them matt knife. Sorry.
C
The theater.
A
Theater.
D
In the theater.
A
Thank you. I call it my gold bullion cutter.
D
So I couldn't. I couldn't. I couldn't find my scissors. So, like a dumbass, I decided, well, I'll try doing this with the aforementioned box cutter. I nearly cut my thumb off.
C
Well, that's user error, right? I always use.
D
If my scissors were where they were supposed to be, I wouldn't be having this problem.
C
Tom. Okay.
F
We. I. A scissor in my house is impossible. Like, every time.
A
It.
F
It's like a hunt. My daughter was out of town for a week. We cleaned out a room. Eight pair of scissors.
A
Wow.
C
I was like, oh, that's why I.
F
Could never find a scissors.
D
But I remembered where I used to work. They actually. Now I know why. They had the scissors on a chain. It was light. Chains, like a bank. Yeah. So you're not gonna be able to steal it.
E
There you go. Put yours on a chain.
D
I'm gonna have to. It's ridiculous. Cause if I had cut myself.
C
But you were just opening a box.
D
Yes, but that thing is sharp, and I Did one of these things.
C
I think it's safer to use a box cutter to open a box than it is.
D
No, no, I'm sorry. I was opening one of those heavy envelopes.
E
Heavy envelope.
A
Oh, you know, they're incapable of tearing it open. It probably has one of those.
C
Absolutely.
A
Pull here.
D
No, because you pull here, then all the stuff flies out.
C
No, no, here's the thing. I. I witnessed this a morning. It was about five months ago at your desk there. You had one of those, and you were really wrestling with it, and you broke out the scissors. And Chick goes, you know, if you just pull that. And then I watch Chick decide. This is like explaining it to a tomato.
A
Yes.
C
Why am I wasting my word?
A
Yeah.
D
See, now, my desk lady, look at this. I got my scissors right here. Yes, well, those knife right here.
C
I mean, comedically. We have to steal both today.
A
Oh, yeah.
D
I've got my.
A
Those are not gonna be there.
D
I've got my needle notes here.
G
For what?
D
I've got my. I think it's time for putting plastic here. These special heavy duty scissors.
A
Isn't it time for another visit with our new show?
C
I remember somebody wrote in. Yes, it is.
A
Tell me about this.
C
Somebody wrote in with those. Those other scissors. And those are paramedic scissors for cutting the clothing off of the severely injured.
D
I love. I love a good tool. And then I've got reading glasses. So when Pat comes in and can't find his. I've got two pair over here for him.
G
Thank you.
A
You. He'll eventually own them. He goes from workstation to workstation.
D
Christy, you live in a. An adult household?
E
More or less, yes. There's just two adults.
C
Adult household.
D
Well, I mean, there are no kids there. Her girls. Our girls are adults.
E
And my bonus.
A
I'm just thinking with the way he talks, it's a good thing he's not on the broadcast or radio.
C
That.
A
Wait a minute.
D
Do you know where your sisters are?
E
Absolutely.
D
Are they always there?
E
Yes, yes. Two pair right there in the drawer.
D
Okay.
E
Above the trash can drawer, I've got garage scissors.
C
I've got upstairs scissors, downstairs scissors, kitchen scissors.
E
I have desk scissors. I have kitchen scissors.
D
Do you have toilet paper stowed in the bathroom for.
A
It's going to run out.
E
Wait a minute.
C
Of course.
E
Everybody has toilet paper stowed in their bathroom, don't they?
D
I mean, an extra one just in case.
A
Yes.
C
Oh, yeah. Each bathroom has at least six bathrooms.
E
Exactly.
A
You know, I worked at a place one time where I stowed the toilet paper. Oh, yeah.
C
I would Steal from here. But I'd rather just use moth wings.
D
Yeah, we gotta. Yeah, we gotta get somebody on this egg roll.
C
Paper is thicker.
A
The toilet dispenser. The toilet paper dispenser in there that you can't get. Never mind.
E
That's why we have the freestanding one in the other.
A
Well, okay. I'm gonna tear off the wall.
D
Okay.
A
I'm just.
D
I'm sorry. Is that sports?
A
No more sports coming up. We haven't even started.
D
Give me a teaser.
A
It's not a word. Sunday Night Football. Last night, packers beat the Steelers in Pittsburgh. Who knows what the final score was? I'll tell you when we.
C
Are there any teams that are undefeated right now?
A
Not undefeated. The colts would be 7 and 1.
D
Someone hadn't dropped the ball while running to the end zone.
C
I thought that was a game they actually won. No.
A
And by the way, coming up. That's right. It's Jordan Love of the Packers.
E
Oh, yeah.
A
They call him the love mode. Oh, wow.
C
Well, this is exciting and new.
A
Jordan. Jordan Love.
D
Exciting and new.
E
Jack Jones.
C
That's new anal. Oh, that was.
A
Sorry.
D
That's the love from behind.
C
Tonight, Rue McClanahan takes it. Doggies.
E
Coming up next, we do.
A
No, not now.
D
I have a nice letter about that.
E
Oh, I'm sorry.
D
Let's put it off now. That reminds me, though, that Mr. Dyer will be part of a special program. Pat Godwin. It's my understanding that you and Mr. Oscar are involved in a sacrifice that. Is that the group for that one? Or is that. No, no, no, no. That's coming up. Is.
C
No.
A
I've never heard someone make so long in my life.
D
Where is that?
A
I know.
G
It's at the Meer Theater in Green Bay. This Saturday.
D
This Saturday. And it's you on Dave Dyer. Okay. Sorry.
C
I guarantee it's on a piece of paper within 4 inches right in front of his.
D
No, it's because someone stole.
A
Someone stole it took the scissors.
C
When?
D
They took. They took my sister. I mean, my sister.
G
They took my sister.
A
Hello, Frank. Ah, you're on. You're on with Freud. Hello. What's this? Your problem?
D
Okay.
C
We're talking about scissors. I know why your sister came to mind.
D
Okay. Okay. Thank you very much.
C
Lesbian.
A
These are two girls Scissor.
C
Did you ever watch your sister and her friends?
A
No.
D
Excuse me. These are the AALA Purses Goes. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
H
Become a Bob and Tom VIP and get your Bob and Tom picks 24. 7. Get all the info in the VIP area@bobandom.com.
D
Ghost B.
A
Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Hey, I'm plain speaking Chick McGee. We're going to hit some topics hard, but we're going to be playing speaking speaking this year.
E
All right?
A
There's Chrissy Lee. Hello, news.
I
Yes.
A
Pat Godwin. Hello, guitar. Sometimes the keyboard. There's Jeff Oskar. Hey, man. Hello, Josh Arnold. Aren't you gonna finish Ace Cosby. I'm Chick. Hello, Tom.
C
Chick, you know what? I appreciate you. You're a plain speaking man.
A
That's right.
C
And I want your opinion on this. I have a new rule for Halloween.
A
I'm gonna be. I'm gonna hit you hard, right between the eyes. My take's gonna be plain speaking.
C
All right, New rule for Halloween. I. I'm not giving candy, all right? To any child that doesn't live in my neighborhood.
E
Well, how the hell do you know that?
C
Each child has to bring a piece of mail.
A
That's right.
D
Two pieces.
C
Yeah, I think so. Maybe two pieces of mail. Not an Internet bill. Nothing physical mail from their physical house. And prove to me that you live in my neighborhood. Otherwise, nothing.
F
Agreed. Growing up, my parents did that.
A
No.
F
As soon they go. As soon as we see cars coming into the neighborhood, lights go out. You know, if you grew up out in the country, not in a neighborhood, you ain't getting candy from my mom and dad.
C
I actually now remember you saying that. Yeah. That's amazing.
E
That is amazing.
C
But I stand by it.
D
Really.
F
Well, they just called them the poor people are coming.
A
But I thought it was the poor people are coming. Lock the door.
G
Raggedy Andy again.
F
Turn off the light.
A
Wow. Did you used to dress up for Halloween? And what was your favorite costume? If so.
D
Of course I dress as a kid.
A
Yeah. Yeah. What did you do? Like something like Niels Bohr or something?
C
Oh, boy.
D
The famous Danish physicist.
A
Yeah, that's. No, I never did that. One costume goes to Cabot. Yes. Don't you say anything about Cabin. I loved it.
D
I would do the usual. Batman, the pirate, the standards.
C
Of course. You're not going to tell us about the Al Jolson year.
A
Odds are, if one of us dressed up like Al Jolson, mistakes were made.
D
Yeah, yeah. There was. There was a time Danson thought it might be ironic.
A
You ain't seen nothing yet.
D
Wow.
A
Boy. How do you get that thought out of your head if you're Ted Danson?
D
He managed to survive.
C
He's being with Whoopi.
D
You mean doing big commercials? Yeah, Whoopi with Whoopi. That's kind of Irresistible. He had to say that at some point, I guess. Like you talk about making Whoopi.
C
Hey, you want to make you, baby?
A
Isn't her name Karen? Her name's. She's a Karen, I think. Oh.
D
Now, we promised we would get to sports. Go ahead.
A
Thank you, Tom, for that wonderful introduction.
C
I'm ready.
A
Okay.
D
Well, I'll tell you what, ladies and gentlemen, There is Chick McGee you can't miss because he is at the prize packs sports desk.
C
Actually, the prize pick, Sports.
D
What did I say?
A
Surprised me with it last night on Sunday Night Football. That's right. The Green Bay packers beat The Pittsburgh Steelers 35, 25. And the packers quarterback was Jordan.
C
Dude, that was perfect.
E
That was perfect.
A
Jordan.
D
Exciting.
A
Love is exciting in the 360 yards, three touchdowns. Come aboard, Jordan. Love. Mr. Love.
E
Jones.
C
Was it a radio hit? Not one of those theme songs that kind of made it.
D
I think it was.
A
I believe in Adult Contemporary world is what they would call.
D
Whatever that means.
A
Yeah. Yeah.
D
I always thought that was adult contemporary.
C
Was it a Paul Anka thing or. Who wrote.
A
Oh, I don't know who wrote. Probably Aaron Spelling or somebody like that.
C
Oh, he actually dabbled in the theme songs, too.
A
Yeah.
G
Is a good guest, though.
A
It's my show. I'll write the theme music. Yeah, how about that? You have a bouncy C. Who wrote the love?
C
Paul Williams. It says Charles Fox wrote the music and Paul Williams wrote the lyrics.
E
Paul Williams is my size.
D
Yeah, he's still with us.
E
No, I don't think.
A
Yeah, I think he.
C
I thought he was.
G
Yeah, they did a documentary on him.
A
He's been. He's been on a couple TV shows. I watched. Watch. I forget.
E
Seriously, I thought he was gone a long time ago.
G
He's only just begun.
A
He was on Goliath, I think.
C
Oh, yeah.
G
Yes, he was. He's the friend.
E
Apologize.
C
He is 85.
E
Wow. Good for him.
A
Well, he was in smoking the van.
D
Well, that's.
A
He was. Little Enos.
C
Yeah.
D
Get it? Little Enus.
A
Yes, we all get it. Jesus. New York Giants rookie running back Cam Scaboo has suffered a dislocated right ankle. And it was gruesome. Scaboo ends its season this running back fully endorsed by Adam Sandler. Scooby Doo Doo. He was hurt in the second quarter. The Giants 3820 loss to the Philadelphia Eagles. Winners in the NFL yesterday, Baltimore, Buffalo, Houston, Miami, Miami Jets, New England, Philadelphia, Tampa Bay, Denver, and the Indianapolis Colts. We'll see this week coming up Sunday, one o', clock, Colts. This Sunday, Colts at the Steelers, one o' clock Eastern. We'll see what happens there. Are you going to go to that game?
D
You should probably go to Pittsburgh. Yeah, no, I'm busy.
A
Why not? LSU has fired coach Brian Kelly during the fourth season of a 10 year contract worth about $100 million.
C
See a boy name girl name Brian call.
D
Yeah. I'm sure when he gets in his private jet, he'll be concerned about that.
A
His buyout, $54 million. That's right. He gets $800,000 a year for a long time.
E
Danny, if I were a coach, I'd just suck. So I could get my. I get fired and get my contract paid?
A
Of course not. Oh, you don't want to do that.
E
They shouldn't do that.
A
That.
E
If you're not good, you don't get the money.
C
I agree.
A
Right?
C
Yeah. Yeah.
A
Is that right, Tom? Would you say that?
C
Would you agree they're fired. You no longer get.
E
Yeah, you don't get money.
D
You can put anything you want in a contract.
A
Exactly. They don't have to sign it. That's right. You're worth however much somebody wants to pay you.
E
Right from the tax line. Dear Bob and Tom show. Jeff said he found eight pairs of scissors in his daughter's room.
A
Room.
E
Jeff, can I borrow one so I can stab my radio? Thanks, Brian from Ohio.
C
Well, we are not for everyone.
A
Seems a little hard.
D
No, I'm just saying it's a truism.
E
Why would your kids take your scissors off your desk?
D
They apparently needed some scissors. They got into something.
A
What is more likely someone took your scissors? Or perhaps. Perhaps. Could you think for a second you might have misplaced them?
D
No, I eventually found them.
E
Where'd you find them? On your desk?
D
No, they were in the refrigerator. No, they were in the room where the packages all were.
E
You have a room for packages?
D
No, but when they come in, they.
F
Go to the package room. So the butler's pantry, it's right off.
A
The west wing there by the gift shop.
G
And retrieve my parcel.
D
When you walk in the door, there's a little room. There's a little room. Lemon tree there. And then a bunch of boxes and a bunch of cowboy hats.
A
Okay. I heard that lemon tree is very pretty.
D
Yes, my lemon tree. It grew one lemon the size bigger than a softball.
C
Really?
A
It actually grew inside.
F
You didn't bring that in for us?
A
It was fresh. That's why he only brings us.
D
I don't know.
C
He had to drink his iced tea out of a bowl again.
D
I don't like Lemon. I don't like. I don't like lemon and iced tea.
A
By the way, what happened to that fresh lemon we had, darling? Where is it?
D
It's in the package room. It'll have to wait till harvest.
C
Have you checked the parse Parcellium?
A
How many. How many hours a day do you spend breaking down boxes? Did you ever think you'd spend or. You probably don't do it. You got a guy that's one of those great.
C
That Dr. Rick character of those insurance companies. Is that what.
D
I love that guy.
A
Oh yeah.
C
Where he actually. He. Remember you. You have to break down boxes. You don't get to break down boxes.
A
Yeah. Such a great.
C
I'd watch a movie of Dr. Rick. Yeah, they made like a documentary.
A
They've had a TV show for the Geico Caveman. Why can't they do that with him?
D
Yeah, I think it's kind of like. I don't know. Did you like. I think it's. It's perfect the way it is.
C
No, I agree. But I'm just saying that character's so good. He's really.
D
Did you like the Coneheads movie?
C
I do. Yes, I do. And I know it's not great.
D
That was one of those examples of a great 10 minute skit. Not.
C
Yeah, I really like the movie a lot, but I get that it's not good. I just really. I'm really entertained by it.
A
The world's highest bridge has delayed the opening of its so called ropeless bungee jump amid safety concerns.
E
Oh my God.
A
I guess.
D
Wait till you hear how it works.
A
According to local media. Zhang Jennifer. Glass bridge in China, which measures 2050ft high, set to debut the attraction earlier this month. It involves participants jumping directly onto a massive net installed beneath the bridge without any ropes or safety gear.
C
No way.
D
So you would just. It's designed. You jump off and there's a big net down there and they. They haven't opened it up.
A
Up. Videos of sandbags tossed onto the net were met with anxiety from online users, leading the bungee jump operator to postpone the opening.
E
People are really going to do that.
C
People didn't even want to watch sandbags being thrown.
A
The operator stated individuals weighing under 88 pounds or over 198 and those age 60 years or older and people with cardiovascular disease are ineligible.
C
I see.
D
Do you have a picture of this thing? Okay, there's the bridge. It's gigantic.
A
Where do you jump? Oh, right there. Okay.
C
Okay.
D
And they're showing a sandbag and it just drops into a big net.
C
What if you accidentally land on your head?
D
What if you miss? Yeah, they're concerned that you could get. If there was a lot of wind.
E
You might think, right.
A
That's where the lighter weight comes in to blow you probably across the.
D
Imagine like a high jump pit, except it's, you know, obviously significantly larger.
A
And yes, it's a profit. It's a profit deal. You have to pay 220 US dollars to.
C
Okay.
A
Participate.
D
Yeah, I would. I'd be terrified.
C
Yeah, it would be scary.
D
The name of it, ropeless bungee, doesn't make any sense.
C
There's zero bungee.
D
It's like. It's like parachuteless skydiver. The name is. Yeah, yeah. Hey, we got high dive in the waterless pool this afternoon. Get there early. There's a big line.
A
More sports coming up. Tom.
D
Okay, thank you. Thank you.
A
Very well.
D
Now, right now, this portion of the Bob and Tom show sponsored by Better Help. As the sun starts to set a little earlier with the seasons changing. That's right. Daylight savings time out the door. It's a good reminder to reach out and check in with those you care about and remind ourselves we're not alone in this world. Call that friend you haven't talked to in a while. Grab lunch with someone you've been missing. This November, BetterHelp is encouraging people to reconnect and remember how powerful connection really is with other human beings. Better Help therapists work according to a strict code of conduct. They're fully licensed in the United States. You fill out a short questionnaire that'll help identify your needs and preferences when you sign up for BetterHelp. BetterHelp is all about accessing therapy online. Over 30,000 therapists worldwide are using and helping people with BetterHelp. It's one of the world's leading online therapy platforms, having served over 5 million people. So this month, don't wait to reach out. Whether you're checking in on a friend or reaching out to a therapist yourself, BetterHelp makes it easier to take that in because it's done online. It's very simple. You can be anywhere you want. You set up the time, and you can do it at your convenience, in your convenience, if you will, if that makes sense. In other words, you could do it in your car, you could do it at the shop, you could do it at work. Whatever works for you. So it does. It's a time saver. So just get the details by visiting betterhelp.com Also, you can. This is a new way to access it. You just go to £250 on your smartphone and out loud, say the keyword BT Show. That keyword is BT Show. After calling pound pound 250250 and then say out loud BT show to knock 10% off your first month, get all the information also by going to betterhelp.com and find out what it's all about. Coming up, we have Porsche, the automobile in the news. Plus we have, we have decided to pronounce it Louvre. Update from the Louvre. And that really cool heist. And boom. Boobs. Boobs in the news. And you thought I was going to say boobs. That would be comedian Dave Dyer.
C
He's not even here to defend himself.
D
No, no, he's a wonderful man. We'll talk with Dave coming up. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.
A
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts that you service, you need fast. From the professional parts People at O'Reilly Auto Parts at the SILAC Insurance news desk, it's Christy Lee.
E
Hi.
A
There's Pat Godwin. Hello. Jeff Osk. Hey, man in his. What are little.
F
Little big feet.
A
Little, little big feet. He's wearing a short sleeve shirt with little cartoons of Bigfoot on. What's kind of big?
C
Yeah.
A
Or Bigfoots.
C
I'd go Sasquatch.
E
Okay.
D
But the plural. Correct plural is Bigfoots. Right.
A
Well, Sasquatch is Sasquatch.
C
Yes.
D
Yeah.
C
Very subtle distinction.
A
I'm Chick McGee at the prize Picks.
D
Never encounter Sasquim.
A
There's Ace Cosby.
C
Yeah.
D
She's pursuit Armenian heritage.
A
You know there. What was the name of that movie about a family of Sasquatch?
C
Sasquatch. Sunset.
A
Sunset on. That's it.
D
Are we ready? Okay. I believe we have the satellite hookup ready. And there is.
A
Jesus.
D
There is a Mr. Mr. Clean. Oh, no, it's, it's comedian Dave Dyer. That is a. That is a fleshy head.
C
Hi, Dave.
D
Dave, I got a nice letter here. Ready?
I
Yes.
D
Dear Bob and Tom Show. I work at Boot Jack Tavern in Manitou Beach, Michigan. That's the. Sound familiar?
I
Sure does.
D
We hosted Dave Dyer Saturday, October 25th. And you and your. Is this your friend Jason Filan Mares?
I
Yes, he opened for me.
D
Yes. You guys killed it.
A
Great.
I
Well, thank you. Thank you.
D
So they even met you after the show. He says. I learned that Dave, Greg Hahn and Pat Goddard one will be in Green Bay at The Meijer theater. Coming up November 1st. That's this Saturday?
A
Yes.
D
That's going to be a great show. That's from Jeffrey in Manitou Beach, Michigan.
I
Well, thanks Jeffrey. You know, after the shows guys, I like to mingle with the commoners for a little bit, sort of, you know, see how things are going, take the temperature, the environment I'm in and I just, I just met the guy.
D
Well, you wrote a nice letter. That's good.
I
Yes, that's very nice of him. Very kind.
D
So now we should explain to people you are a. Do you go with Michigander or Michiganian?
I
We go Michigander.
D
Okay, okay. And you are, you are a professional fireman.
I
Yep.
D
As well as a comedian. Are you, you're not at the fire, are you at the firehouse?
I
No, I'm not. I worked until 7 this morning. We do 24 is down. We go 7A to 7A and then I've been home since so.
D
Because it'd be really funny if we were doing this. All of a sudden the siren goes off and you had to get up and leave.
I
Well, do you want to take a 10 minute break and I'll shoot over.
A
There.
I
If that's what's going to make this segment better.
D
Now do you get to drive the truck?
I
Sure I do. Yeah. Listen, we are a very small department. You know big city departments have people who are very much designated in certain positions. You've got a person who drives the truck, they're called an equipment operator. You got an officer in the passenger seat and everybody's got their role. Who's in the truck? Truck ourselves being a very small, what's called accommodation department, meaning we have a combination of full time folks and paid on call folks. You kind of have to be a jack of all trades. You have to do everything like I may I drive the truck in the day when the chief is there because he rides in the officer seat and then he goes home to his Lovely family at 4:30pm and then I'm in the officer seat and one of our paid on calls comes and works with me overnight. Did you have probably more description you were into looking for?
D
Did you have anything exciting last evening?
I
No, we didn't. It was, it was a pretty quiet thing and that's one of those things yet superstition. You don't want to say that because now the guy who's gonna get something big but oh well, I'm off today.
C
Dave, do you ever get to a place where the fire is going and you go, you know what? It's Safer and better if we just let this place burn to the ground.
I
Well, let me tell you something, Joshi. This is. You may want to write this down for when you enter the fire service.
C
Yes.
I
Yuri? Well, your first, your first priority when you get on scene, Josh, is rescue. You want to make sure if there's any, any danger to human life, that's the first priority. Your second priority, rather than the actual place that's on fire, is making sure you set up a situation so other stuff doesn't catch on fire.
A
Ah.
I
And that's called nevermind, I'm not going to get too deep. And it's called exposures. But so, yes, there are situations where it's simply too dangerous to send somebody in. And you kind of, you, you know, they call it hit it hard from the yard, surround and drown. There's all sorts of very technical terms, but you basically just, you know, at a certain point something is a total loss and you just kind of, you don't let it burn. You try to put it out, but you know, you're not sending anybody in.
D
Is Halloween a big night for fires? No, not really.
I
Ironically, you know, what is, what's a potential bigger day is Thanksgiving with all these people trying to deep fry their turkeys and all sorts of stuff like that. So that's a much bigger, that's a much bigger holiday to worry about. Now, the people of Detroit may have a different. Have a different answer than me because, you know, traditionally on October 30th, that's what's called Devil's Night. They've had. I don't think it's nearly as bad as it used to be, but they've had a lot of situations where they've had a lot of house fires. On that.
D
I see, I see. Dave Dyer. Dave Dyer is going to do in a comedy show, by the way, with Pat and Greg Hahn coming up in Green Bay Meyer Theater this Saturday night. Now, we haven't talked about. Hey, Dave, your personal life lately.
A
Yeah.
F
Oh, real quick, I have. May I ask one more fire question? Let's say it's Tuesday afternoon. You got the ladder truck, you're changing the oil. Are you doing that in house? Are you taking that down to Jiffy Land Lube?
I
Well, not. They won't fit in Jiffy Lube, first of all.
F
So I'm thinking that's you get the run. What are you doing?
I
It is in house. And actually what we have is there's a, there's an organization, well, business, I should say, that actually services a lot of the Fire departments in our area, they come on scene. Unless it's like a major fix on the. On the engines and trucks and stuff like that. They. They come and do most repairs, most maintenance and stuff like that right on scene.
F
So you, you aren't changing the oil yourself?
I
No, no, no, no. We. We will do very basic little stuff.
D
But if the major stuff.
A
No.
D
Okay, so the guy's changing the oil, the siren goes off. Does that mean he's not going to come up and show you the air filter and try to sell you a new one?
I
No. Yeah, the. The UCV valve or whatever. No, it's very coordinated so that like, we'll get another one of our engines. That'll be our front line engine. A lot of coconut shells going.
D
Okay, now I'm looking at my. I was just handed this note. Be sure to wish Dave a happy birthday. Today your birthday?
I
Not today. About a week and a half ago, I turned 57.
C
Oh, nice, dude.
D
So wait a second.
I
Celebrating?
D
Aren't you going to get kicked off the fire? The fire squad now, if you're. What's the mandatory retirement age?
I
Well, it's not 57. Yeah.
G
There's the.
A
Lift it.
I
I can still lift a sack of potatoes down.
C
Come on.
D
Okay. Just asking.
A
You leave.
I
No.
A
Do you leave the potatoes so you can have French fries, Right?
I
Yes, exactly.
C
Thank you.
I
Always appreciate. I always appreciate Chick being on my side and sharp shooting in to let me know.
A
Is there.
D
I. I'm. I'm. Is there a calendar with you posing in like a leopard skin tight.
I
Not a popular one. No.
E
You mean like the firefighter calendar?
D
Yeah, the fight. The firefighter of Grand Rapids, Michigan. And there's Dave Dyer with a leopard skin Speedo with a full throat pouch.
A
Oh, with his hoses.
I
I could show you a picture of our department with everybody clothed. And you go, yeah.
D
Not a lot of moisture production.
I
Well, Happy, Not a lot of physiques. Yeah. I just turned 57. You know what I love? I don't mind at all getting older. In fact, I love this kind of. This next level that I'm entering. I have realized that at this age, I can finally say with confidence that if an 80 year old guy takes a swing at me, I'm swinging back. I'm swinging back. If we're both eligible to live in an assisted living facility, let's test those reflexes.
E
Fair enough.
D
Well, that's good to know.
I
It is good to know.
A
Yeah.
D
Okay. Now, how's the rest of your family?
A
Family?
I
Everybody's good.
A
The girls. Why?
I
I got One daughter in Philadelphia. I got another daughter in the Detroit area. Janice and I were hanging in there, tolerating each other.
D
So your wife is still living in Michigan?
I
She's still in Michigan.
A
Yep.
I
Yep.
A
Although.
D
And in your house.
I
Yeah, in my house. Yep.
A
Yep.
I
She's. We're still in the same bedroom. I know that's a very common thing, is people have been married for a long time. We're still in the same bedroom. Yep. I sleep in the closet. She's in the bed. But we're still technically whatever works in the same bedroom. So we are empty nesters, and we've been empty nesters for a little while now. But the problem with that is that they need to find a different name than empty nesters because both of our girls left a lot of stuff behind. There was nothing empty about our situation.
E
I agree.
I
Janice and I live in a storage garage with two less people. People come to our house, they're like, you're hoarders. No parents. None of this is our stuff.
D
I think it's time for a garage sale.
I
Yes.
C
Yeah.
D
Something to.
C
I may live in the garage now.
D
Do you.
I
Are you.
D
I can see in the background you have a variety of what look like formal documents framed. I assume those are all fraudulent.
I
They are, yeah. They're all this. They have little bananas on them and everything. No, a lot of those are my certifications for my fire stuff and my EMT certification and all sorts of stuff like that.
D
Really? Oh, very, very nice.
C
Ironically, they're quite.
I
There's my old. My old fire hazard. Yeah, it probably is. There's my old firefighter helmet. Now, here's another bit of interesting fire service information. If you ever took look at a fire stain. Boy, Christie did not sound at all interested in that.
A
Oh, no, Go ahead.
I
All right, roll it. The black helmets. If you look at a fire scene, the black helmets are worn by the firefighters. Those are the people who are doing a lot of the work. Because firefighter is not just a job name. It's will rank within the hierarchy of the fire service.
C
Oh.
E
Oh.
I
The next level up. In most cases, some departments are different, but like in ours, it's a red helmet for the officers. I happen to have a red helmet.
D
I'm a brag.
I
But then the white helmets are the chiefs. So when you. When you look at a fire scene, you can kind of tell the hierarchy of who's who.
C
Wow.
I
Who cares?
C
No, no, I like it.
I
Thanks, Josh.
E
There's a white helmet guy, supervised, doesn't go into the fire. He sends everybody Else in.
I
Well, how deep you want to get into this, Christy? Be careful about the questions you ask.
A
And the yellow helmets. Are there yellow helmets for the chickens?
C
Yeah, the cowards.
I
Yes, there are, actually, out West Los Angeles and stuff like that. You'll see a lot of yellow helmets. I don't know what rank those guys or gals are, but, yes, you see a lot of yellow helmets.
C
And those helmets say Carl's Jr. Whereas your helmets say Hardee's. Really?
I
Wherever you. You can advertise. Wherever you can advertise.
C
Has your wife ever asked you to wear any fire equipment in the.
D
In the aforementioned boudoir?
A
You know, a little sucky.
D
You know, I like just the boots.
I
We've been. We've been married 32 years. She doesn't ask a whole lot.
C
I see.
I
32 years.
D
But you have to leave all the gear at the firehouse, right? You don't have, like.
I
I have two sets. I have one set that stays at the firehouse when I'm on shift, and I also have a spare set in my car because when I'm not on duty, if we get a major incident, like somebody's unresponsive or a vehicle extrication or structure fire, I will go to those things while I'm off duty if it's a major incident. So I have a spare set of gear in my car with me.
A
All right?
D
Okay. Always remember.
I
Ready?
A
Yeah.
D
Okay, good to know. Do you. Do you wear ordinary underwear or something a little more exotic? Because if. Because you. You arrive in the scene, you got to switch. The stuff's in your car. You got to change. Can you change in your car?
I
Well, they're big enough. It's big enough to. I don't know why I'm charging at the camera. Like, I'm. I'm. You know, you're in trouble. But it's.
A
It.
I
The pants and everything are big enough so that you wear them, like, over your regular pants and everything? Because at the station. Yeah, at the station.
A
Yeah.
I
You wouldn't want to wear just your underwear under those things. It's very abrasive. It'd be a disaster.
D
You do wear nomex underwear, right?
I
No, we have no Max items on. I'm not gonna wear no Max under you ever. You ever put no mix against your skin?
D
I'd rather have no mix underwear than have a. Have a toasted weenie. Thank you, Christy. The better word. I don't want to have a. I don't want to have a weenie for roast. Well, he survived the fire.
C
But that's a good point.
I
I'll look into it.
C
Good answer, Dave. Yeah. Yeah.
I
Right now I'm just wearing sport boxers.
D
I see. Well, Dave Dyer. Once again, it's a Dave Dyer. Greg Hahn, Pat Godwin. What a show. Meer Theater, Green Bay. That's this Saturday night?
G
Yep.
D
That's going to be killer. It's going to be great.
I
7:30Pm Central Time.
D
Oh, thank you very much. Thanks, Dave. It's always a pleasure.
I
Pleasure. Thank you guys. Good to see you.
C
You too, man. See you, buddy.
D
Time to check in now with Steven Singer Jewelers. Steven Singer of course has a bunch of stuff going on right now including we've got our special a pick them competition with the NFL and of course the final game will be this evening and we'll find out who won this week.
A
Yeah.
D
Be sure to get involved next week by going to bob and tom.com contest and win that Steven Singer jewelers gift certificate. It's an E gift card. But right now I want to tell you about Stephen Singer Jewelers. We talk about Stephen and he's the I hate Stephen Singer guy. If you haven't heard yet. Steven Singer Jewelers named one of America's leading jewelers. There are almost 18,000 jewelers in America and less than 50 have received this honor. So they just gave it to Stevenson. Another reason why the jewelers hate him. Get all the details by visiting steven singer@ihatestevensinger.com he is the jeweler you can trust. He has the best guarantees in the business, the best warranty and the perfect price. 365 days a year. Steven always has been the best value on the real diamond jewelry market. No phony sales, no fake discounts, no two for Tuesday, no nonsense, no bs. Just easy and fast.
A
Fun.
D
Check out Stephen Singer at I hate stevensinger.com. remember, get the orders in before 2:00 Eastern and odds are they'll go out that day. This would be cool. You could do a nice Halloween gift for your sweetie. A little something wrapped around a beautiful.
E
Musketeers bar or something.
D
Oh, that's a great idea. Something a little spooky. Find out what's going on with I hate stevensinger.com. fast and free shipping.
A
Why are Three Musketeers and bars all veiny like that?
C
Oh yeah, they have that great on the top.
E
Yeah.
A
Snicker bars too.
E
Now that I think maybe that's why I wanted it wrapped around it.
D
Okay, very good.
A
You know what I'm saying?
D
Yeah, of course I do. That's I hate stephensinger.com. fast and free shipping. And of course, that great guarantee. If you're not happy, send it right back. You'll get your money back. No one's ever done it, I don't think, because they love the stuff. Now coming up, we return to the sports desk. I believe we have a world record or two.
A
Yes, we do.
D
And other delights also coming up. Don't set your Porsche on fire. You never know where the cameras are. We also have great news from the world of teeth.
C
I enjoy my teeth. You guys like yours?
G
Yeah.
C
Yeah. Especially when I'm having like almonds or something.
A
You know, if you're not true to your teeth, they'll be false to you.
D
I like that. That should be a bumper sticker.
A
Thank you very much.
D
I'd put that on my car.
A
Thank you.
D
These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
H
Want to share something? Send us an Bob andtom@bobandtom.com. this is the Bob and Tom Show.
D
A great haunted house there.
A
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. There's Christy Lee at the news desk.
E
Hi.
A
Pat Godwin, guitar in hand. He had it.
D
Hey, Chick.
A
Now he's putting it up. Of course. There's Pat Limo. There's Josh Arnold.
C
Hi there.
A
Ace Cosby. Hey, I am Chick. Hello, Tom. Hello.
F
Hello.
A
Hello indeed.
D
Do you think maybe we should do a. We just talked with Dave Dyer, fireman comedian and I. We were talking about. I asked if. If fires were a big deal on Halloween and apparent. He said no, but they are on, I guess Thanksgiving with people trying to cook turkeys and they don't have it at level. Wouldn't a scarier costume be to. For a kid to go as an arsonist? You know, like I have a. Like a Coke miser.
E
He's got flames coming out of his head or something.
D
You know, a Coke bottle with gasoline in it.
E
Oh, you're being real.
D
That what is scary in today's world. It goes broken. Broken. WI Fi. Not sure how you dress.
A
Is that.
D
That'd be. That'd be a true horror for horror. Go as a dated cell phone that isn't working anymore, which Christie has. All right, Chick, you missed a bunch of cool stories while you were gone.
A
Oh, yeah?
D
Yeah, we had another. Another spill.
A
Other.
D
Another problem up on the highway. Yeah. Every time anybody has a. A problem.
E
Was this the blueberry one?
D
Yeah, the. The freeway covered in blueberries as reported by the California Highway Patrol at. Let's see, Highway 99 near the 180 interchange right there in the Fresno area. So, yeah, it took. They had to close the freeway down there for a while, right, Pat? Yeah, they did. Yeah. And you wrote a tribute song. I did indeed. For this. Go ahead.
C
Okay.
G
I thought you were gonna give a little bit of the story, but I.
E
Think you have gave you the story.
G
I was tuning the guitar. I do multitasking sometimes. I don't listen to you.
E
Okay.
D
I didn't join the club and I won.
A
And it sounds just like Pat Godwin to make you laugh. I had a spill.
C
On Blueberry Hill.
A
By the landfill.
C
Oh, check the highway, still blue. Check the highway, still blue.
A
Check the highway, still blue.
C
I thought I was very clear. It's messy still.
D
It's not clear at all.
A
Did stuff relax while I was gone?
D
No, you see, he's singing as if he has dentures.
A
We had a spell. That's what I said.
D
Shoot.
A
Very hill.
G
Very icky, that hill.
A
Tell me about it.
C
And it will be until the cleaning club comes through. Those blueberries really sting.
D
I meant to say crew, but I.
A
Get off my cleaning.
G
You make a mistake in radio, you plow through.
A
You don't have to.
D
That was really out. Cleverly worded.
A
Are you going to come join the cleaning club with us? We have a great time. I don't know where I am now.
G
And I never will. But there's blueberries on that hill.
A
Oh, let me tell you, chick.
D
That's what I said.
A
Ch.
C
In 20 there'll be blue on that hill. And it will be until a beat truck has a spell. Oh, he should have got out. Should have got out, shouldn't he have? I do those last four lines, cuz.
D
See, then it'll. Then it'll be purple. You see, the last time it killed.
C
Well, second time never will because everybody's had their fill.
D
It's such funnier job. Thank you very much. I'm sorry. Are we done with sports yet?
A
Tom, why do you hurt me like that? Stupid world record.
C
Check out, remember? Are you anti blueberry?
A
I am. Although evidently I had a piece of blueberry pie earlier this year and I loved it. Only because I didn't know it was blueberry. Blueberry. It was incredibly sweet.
D
You don't like blueberries on your cereal?
A
I don't care for blueberries. No.
D
Oh, they're really, really good for you.
A
Really?
E
Very. A lot of antioxidants.
A
How do you get fresh blueberries?
D
Well, I go to the grocery store and walk over to the.
A
Are you sure you're doing. You're sure you're doing it?
D
Yeah, I go to the grocery store all the time. I was there twice this weekend.
C
How come every fourth blueberry has a little stem?
D
Can we.
C
Can we not get rid of all the stems?
E
And why are like every 4th July of them sour? You get that blueberry. That's.
C
It really kicks you in the tea.
E
Yeah, it does.
D
You know, if we didn't have blueberries, you'd be whining about it.
C
Well, do we know that they exist or did we never know they were exist that they existed?
D
What is this?
A
You know what? Who the hell are you doing?
D
What is this? Emmanuel K. I like to.
A
I like to follow that up with.
D
Yeah.
A
What are you doing?
D
This is the philosophy coroner. Over here we have a logical positivist and then we have your existentialist.
C
Right over here. I was just trying to elevate the conversation. What are you doing?
A
The province. Are you ready?
C
I'll say. The world cleaning club. I'll talk to them.
A
We should start a cleaning club now.
G
Getting stiffy with Christie didn't help either.
A
But the problem. The province of Sorsogon in the Philippines.
D
Now doesn't know this. The province of Source. Again, sounds like right at a start. Wars.
C
Yes.
A
They have broken the Guinness world record for the largest nut brittle. Really?
E
Like peanut brittle?
D
Well, they use a different kind of nut, so. Oh, decent. In America, we primarily have peanut brittle. I'm sure there's other kinds of brittle.
A
Like what?
E
Like walnut brittle.
D
I don't know.
A
I think peanut brittle brittle would be nut brittle.
D
It would fall under the umbrella of all brittle.
C
Allow me. The umbrella.
D
What are you doing?
A
What's this? What's the. What the hell is this?
D
This is a really stupid world record. That's the name of the category.
A
Locals, including 260 chefs from 14 municipalities. That's a lot of chefs came together.
D
That's a lot of cigarettes and.
C
Yeah.
A
This measured 1551.73 square feet. Wow. That would cover more than half a tennis court. That's not that big.
D
Are you kidding?
E
Oh, there it is.
C
That's a big brittle.
A
That's bigger than a tennis court. Yeah.
D
That's the size of a hockey rink.
E
Well, we're not seeing the quite.
C
Yeah, no, that's a.
E
That's a tennis.
A
The key. Okay, are you ready?
C
Yes.
A
The key ingredient in the world's largest nut brittle. The pilly nut.
C
The pilly nut.
A
That's what I said.
D
Is that how you pronounce it as a pilly or piley?
A
P I L I Shut him up. This particular. Of course, this particular nut was a very important choice as its prime farm product of sarsacco.
D
Oh.
C
All right.
A
I Sarsigon the £3,465 of Pili Piley.
D
It's peely. I looked it up.
C
You know, when they went to open the world's biggest peanut brittle, a pronouncer would have been the world's most fake snakes.
D
And what did our man say about that thing?
C
What? What?
D
Do they make snakes that big?
F
Oh.
C
They make fake snakes as big. Wait, no, no, they're fake. Snakes are dead as big.
A
Yeah.
C
Here's the thing.
D
Does anyone buy peanut brittle anymore? Because that was always the gag. It was always a peanut butter canister snake.
C
It's not common enough to fool anyone.
A
It's a peanut brittle. Comes in boxes.
E
Yeah.
D
Ruins that gag.
C
I know.
D
Who's responsible for that?
C
What can we use now?
A
You ever have a munch?
E
Pringles can I guess?
D
I guess.
C
Yeah, a munch bar.
A
A munch bar. So it looks like peanut brittle.
C
Oh, okay.
A
Peanuts. And why nougat?
D
Why didn't peanut butter fall into disfavor?
E
You can still get. Especially on the holidays. It's a big gift.
D
Is that. What is that? Just all sugar and peanut. What is that?
G
Pretty much, yeah.
D
No wonder it's, as you like to call it.
A
Oh, nobody knows the trouble I've seen.
G
What are you doing?
A
Celebrating the 131st anniversary of the founding of Sorcerer. The Kasangayahan festival.
C
Oh, sure, yeah.
A
The attempt originally set to take place on October 24, 2020, but was delayed a year due to a typhoon.
E
So what they do with all the brittle after they break all the brittle? And imagine the dental work going on in there.
C
Yeah, some in that country, probably none.
A
Oh, look at Mr. Hoity Toity with all his teeth.
C
Yeah. Yes, yes.
D
The Kassanga Yahan Fest.
C
My teeth with tarantulas. Or whatever these people now.
A
Is that sports tarantula piss? Probably.
D
We do have snake urine in the news.
C
Ah, delicious.
A
Over you, Christy. Snake urine.
D
Well, I know I got to dig it up, but also, when we come back. Pat, I know you've worked on another song. I'm very excited about this one. That involves setting this guy sets his own car on fire. We'll find out why.
C
Set your car on fire.
A
Come on, baby.
D
Okay, keep. Keep guessing. So far, you don't.
C
There's only four or five flyers.
G
You'll get it.
D
Well, why don't we allow ourselves to be surprised? You joy killing we report for duty from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
H
Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Catch any part of the show you missed later Today on our YouTube channel.
A
Welcome back to the Bob and Top Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios at the Silac Insurance news desk. It's Christy Lee.
E
Hello.
A
There's Pat Godwin.
G
Hey, Chick.
A
Jeff Oskay.
C
Yeah, man.
A
My man. There's Josh Arnold.
C
Hello.
A
The I hate Steven Singer sidekick chair.
E
Now we're ripping off Shaft. What are we doing?
A
Ace Cosby Whippies.
C
Sound like.
G
Yeah, it does.
E
Yeah, it does. Or Super Fly or Shaft or one of those.
D
Oh, you just put them all in one category, do you?
A
Yes.
D
That's racist.
E
Just like you do.
A
I'm at the prize. We're trying to speak your lingo. We're at the prize. Pick Sports desk.
D
I will stand on this hill.
A
Hello.
D
Of the black exploitation soundtracks, Trouble man is the best.
A
Marvin.
D
Marvin Gaye is the man.
A
Trouble Man.
E
Superfly, the music.
A
Trouble Man. Oh, they're up where the instruments sound like they're falling out of the truck.
D
They're all. Those are all great albums.
A
Have you ever heard that, John?
C
Yeah, it's. And that is a very funny notion.
A
It's stupid.
E
And I'd like to thank you for that because I was listening to something over the weekend and it sounded. I go. Chick would be so happy. This sounds like instruments falling off of a truck and it wasn't that song.
A
Plum. Plum. No, no, here it is. I guess I was wrong.
D
Hang on.
E
I got the symbols.
A
Ms. Grant.
D
Atmospheric. Oh, yeah.
C
Boy, that is good. Hear that?
D
Oh, he. As Tim Wilson used to say that Marvin Gaye was the only guy who could write a protest song. That was a panty dropper. Oh, man, he was great. Now, I'm sorry, is that sports? We completed our sports broadcast.
A
Yeah, I think so.
D
Know, three hours in, it's finally over.
A
Finally. Yeah, I like to call it finally over.
D
Now, what was your pick for tonight's game? Again with the Washington football.
A
Take Washington and the. And the points. Yeah. Although I think Kansas City, write this down, somebody 35, 10, something like that. If they can hold him to that much, it's going to be not.
D
Not pretty dismal. Is your. Is your handsome young quarterback back in the lineup?
A
Sweet baby Jaden? No, he's sitting out tonight. Oh, it'll be Marcus Martin, the Hawaiian Assassin. I don't know if that's his nickname, but why not?
D
Yeah, I bet. Sounds very good.
C
You know the movie Trouble man that that song comes from? You know what the tagline for it is? So I guess the main actor, his character is named Mr. T. And this was pre. Yeah, this is 1972. His friends call him Mr. T. His enemies call for mercy.
D
Now, I did not say that Trouble man was the best of those movies.
C
No, but I gotta see it.
D
Is the. It is the best soundtrack.
C
It looks really good.
E
I never saw that movie.
C
Robert Hooks is Mr. T. Paul Winfield is Chalky.
D
That's Robert.
E
That's ironic.
D
Yeah, well, that's a technical term for the.
A
Oh, Paul Sounder. Remember that? That's a great.
C
Sounder is a great movie. Yeah. All right.
D
And then Dave Winfield is. What is he playing?
G
Flute.
E
I was a baseball player.
D
Yeah, Shortstop.
A
Thank you.
D
I'm sorry.
A
It's time. Dave Winfield's not in Sounder or Trouble Man. He's a baseball player. Stop it. Okay.
D
I'm sorry. Free association. Patty G. We have a. A new story that I think you have suggested you have a song for. But let's get to the story, Chris.
E
A man was caught committing insurance fraud after he was filmed lighting his Porsche on fire.
D
That's a tragedy.
E
Yeah. The man told the civil police of Baranza, Brazil, that he'd been stopped in traffic by armed men and stuffed in the trunk of his Porsche 911 Carrera.
D
Very nice car.
E
Claimed the car was driven to a rural area in Lapa before being set on fire and that he was rescued at the last second by passersby who heard his screams.
A
You like a lady.
E
However, security cameras from a farm near the site of the arson showed the owner of the Porsche setting it on fire himself.
C
I don't blame him.
D
But what's interesting about this to me is you figure, okay, I'm not going to get caught if I go to the middle of nowhere and set the thing on fire. But I mean, there are cameras everywhere. But also, why wouldn't you just sell the car? I don't understand. Is the insurance money more than the value of the car?
C
That must have been what he was thinking, right?
E
Must have been.
D
I don't know, but I mean, that's just a crime. Beautiful car like that, I hate them.
F
Really?
A
Just like I look at it, I.
C
Go, no way would I ever be comfortable in that. Well, it looks like it's been through a. It looks like it's been squashed.
F
It was lit on fire.
C
No, no, I'm talking about a brand new pre fire.
D
You know something? If it was on fire. Very few people would be comfortable.
C
Can you imagine getting in and out of this? It's got to suck.
F
Oh, I would deal with it.
D
Oh, yeah. No, it's awesome.
C
Oh, I would. If I won this on a game show, I would sell it before the credits rolled.
F
Really?
C
Yeah.
D
What about the suv? Porsche.
C
Let me see.
E
Have you ever been in a Porsche?
C
No, of course not. I don't have the. I'm not a. I'm not Gumby.
A
Hey, what's the. What's the what? The. The pricks are on the inside. What is it?
D
That's.
A
All right.
D
That's sad, but. No, I'm.
C
The Porsche.
A
Suv it is. Here we go.
D
There's the video. This thing catching fire. Look at. The guy's dumping gasoline in there.
C
So how much does that car cost?
D
More than a. Depends what year it is.
C
That's so stupid. Why is a car that expensive?
D
Look, the guy almost sets himself on fire.
E
That's ridiculous.
A
And.
D
And mean. The camera's right there, and he's in.
C
The middle of nowhere, baby.
E
Burn like there's a wall behind him there. I mean, he's out in the middle of. No. Nowhere. I. I don't. That's weird, man.
A
In the middle of nowhere.
C
Look at how easily it goes right up.
D
I bet that smells like that toaster you bought. Oh, my God. They.
C
Not.
D
Then they show it at the end where it's called black.
C
Sad. About a car. About a car.
D
It's not a car. It's a Porsche.
A
It's a car.
G
Chick, what's your pick for the song I'll be satirizing? What do you think it's going to be?
A
Oh, now, baby, let me talk you Home car.
G
So I got a loan. I can't pay the mortgage on my home.
D
Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no.
G
Here comes Dave Dyer. He knows I set the Porsche on fire.
D
Dave D. Is a fireman.
A
Okay, very good.
G
This song went through many changes. You guys don't know this, but there are many first drafts that Springsteen had written.
D
Oh, is this in that new movie about Bruce Springsteen? It is. They show him over the weekend.
A
Yeah.
D
This.
G
The movie's out now and doing well. It's not, but. Yeah, there are a lot of first. First drafts of this song breaking up. Leaves after school Burning in a power Diesel fuel Oh, no. Flames getting high.
A
I'm on fire My.
G
Wife left me all alone Think I'll make chicken while she. He's not home.
D
Oh, no.
G
I spilled the fryer.
A
O. The house is on fire.
G
Those Are the three versions the Porsche?
A
Yeah.
C
Bruce Springsteen is the Porsche of music. It's not as cool as people say. That's right.
D
I think he fanc. Fancies himself more of a. I would.
E
Argue with you if I could. I'm not a Springsteen.
D
You got to see him live. He's great.
E
I've seen him live.
C
No, he's.
G
I love it.
D
You didn't get the fever?
E
No, I didn't.
A
Fever. Who's ever said I Springsteen gives me fever. Who said that?
C
Is he one of those guys. I don't want to play the hits.
D
No, no, no, that's good. He plays his hits in a bunch.
A
Counts a lot.
C
That's good.
D
His band has memorized something like 600 songs. Wasn't that what the number. He'll turn. He'll turn around to his band. I mean, quite literally, and just out of nowhere say, hey, play Mitch Rider, blah, blah. They got to know them all.
A
Well, they're musicians. It's not like they're.
E
I saw them in the. It was fun. It was a good.
D
Excuse me, Christy, I've got a. I've got to once again step down to talk.
A
What are you talking about, Captain? Are going to know the songs. No.
D
Most bands. You couldn't just turn around, throw some song at him. Hey, fellas, what's.
C
I feel like you can.
D
Let's do Afternoon Delight.
A
Sure.
C
Can we go with Godwin all the time?
D
You can.
A
I know the song for Godwin does.
D
Okay, I'll do it. Do it. That one. What's that one?
A
I am the God of Hellfire.
G
Well, that's that big old instrumental before it starts. It's got a bunch of.
C
God would give us. I don't know if this is a guitar or keyboard. Do you have both ready?
D
I do.
C
Give us. Everybody wants. Everybody wants to rule the world.
G
Yeah.
E
Rule the world.
C
Here's Fears. That's exactly the first note. He's right. Yeah.
G
It's pretty easy.
E
Go ahead, we'll play it.
G
Well, name another one.
D
No, that is how this work. They don't see me go Springsteen. Bruce doesn't go to the band.
G
Hey, play Give me some love and let me. Here's that magic trick. People come to a Springsteen concert with cards and they'll have requests. He picks what he wants, and then you go. We have a request in the audience, and then it comes up in the teleprompter with the chords above it, and he's ready to go.
A
Ah, no, no. His band knows all the songs.
C
They know every song. They Are very, very smart and talented.
A
They hear me talking about them and they will like me.
D
Unbelievable. Sorry, Bruce.
A
Hey, I like everybody on that show. Except chick who's running his mouth. See, they'll hate me now. Usually make you happy.
D
That's good. We have coming up a sad death in Hollywood. I know that's a fair way to say cuz there's some deaths in Hollywood I wouldn't mind saying.
A
They call them the.
E
Yeah, but she was 100.
C
This person was 100. Who? June.
A
Was it June Lockhart? Yeah, she's 100.
D
Would you stop ruining the teaser?
C
The mom from Lassie?
A
Yeah, yeah. The mom from Lost in Space.
C
I. I'm so sorry. I'm so excited. I may not be able to continue. It is shocking.
A
Shocking news by a car.
G
Well, let's go to TMZ and find.
C
Out what freak accident killed this 100 year old.
D
What's shocking is she is.
E
You know what?
D
She has two children that are still alive. That's what Shocked. Shocking.
A
They're also old.
E
The freak accidents called natural causes.
A
Wow.
G
Doesn't sound natural to me.
C
The great irony would have been if it was a dog attack.
D
Apparently, apparently she was not all that fond of. Can we get the eight Lassies she worked with?
A
We can get that to get an AI presentation of Lassie. Ripping.
C
By the way, June Lockhart didn't die. She was just sent a to farm. She's playing.
A
That's right.
D
Oh yeah. You know what killed her? She fell into a well. Every episode of Lassie.
E
We don't have to do the story now.
D
Whoever, whoever the sheriff voice should have said. Hey everybody, would you please seal all your wells and caves? Sorry.
A
Raycon's anniversary is here.
D
Aha.
A
Happy anniversary. And what better way to celebrate than a deal on the everyday your bus claim. Classic. They're now 20% off. Perfect time to get your hands on these babies. Reliable. Super comfy. Easy to take anywhere. You'll see why they've been a fan favorite since day one. Everyday earbuds classic. Loaded with upgrades. They got your active noise cancellation. Your multi point connectivity. You can pair two devices at once. Ergonomic fit that actually stays in your ear no matter what you're doing. Variety of different colors to find a pair that matches your vibe and your outfit. Outfit and everyday features that live up to the name. Quick charge. 10 minutes of charging gives you 90 minutes of playtime. Up to 32 hours of battery life with the case. And Raycons has that awareness mode.
C
Perfect.
A
Or you when you're walking the dog or running errands. So you're still tuned in to what's happening around you. Over 3 million customers already love Raycons and they do come with a 30 day happiness guarantee. Go to buyraycon.com Tom to get 20% off the Everyday Earbuds Classic. That's 20% off@buyraycon.com Tom.
D
You know Sheila to be 700 in dog years. Or am I getting that backwards?
A
No, no, I think.
D
Poor thing. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts to studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.
A
Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Oh, this old nugget again. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio referring to yourself. Yep. There is Christy Lee.
E
Hi.
A
Pat Godwin. Hello, Jeff. Oscar.
F
Hey, man.
A
Josh Arnold.
C
Did you see this thing over the weekend where the guy dipped his testicles and glitter?
A
No, no.
C
Pretty nuts.
G
Pretty nuts.
D
I will allow that because I was thinking, what on earth were you watching with that?
E
Oh, God.
D
Were you. Wait a minute.
A
Was.
D
Chick. Were you here for the interview with Stevo?
A
I was not.
D
Oh, it's great. Is that posted?
A
Sure it is. Tom.
D
He's a. He's like you. He's a. He's a heavily tatted guy.
A
I'm not.
E
He's not heavily tatted.
A
I think I'm heavily tanned. Tatted.
D
We have like nine. Well, yeah, but nine tattoos is heavily tatted. If you got behind a Porsche that had nine bumper stickers, you'd go, that's stolen. And then you'd go, yeah, nine tattoos.
A
I'm an equivalent of a stolen Porsche is what you're trying.
D
No, no, I'm just saying that you. I think nine tattoos is a heavy number.
C
What? You have multiple tattoos? Yes, as does Steve O.
D
Thank you, Steve O. Steve has a. Quite a clever one. There you go.
H
Yeah.
A
On the, on his back, he's got him putting his two thumbs.
F
Oh, no, he has a new one.
E
Yeah, he has a new one. Chick.
D
It's based on the movie E T. It's more or less that logo, except it's the estro testicle and ET's face looks like his junk. Quite clever.
A
Oh, yeah, Sounds highly recommended.
D
I certainly enjoyed talking to him.
E
Oh, yeah.
D
And then he had, he had the nasty words that were on his fingers removed, by the way.
G
Still has the penis on the forehead though.
E
Yeah, yeah, he did. You didn't notice that he showed it to us, right? Yeah, right above his eyebrow.
C
That was a famous gag.
E
Yeah, he showed it famous during the interview.
D
I know, I'M just saying. Don't you think you'd get that taken because he had the other ones taken?
C
No, that was. That's definitely branding. I mean that was part. That was a big bit that they did, him getting that tattooed there.
D
Wow. More or less.
E
I definitely grow my bangs out.
D
Yeah. Yeah. Talk about defining the term dental. I mean right there it's now. So we promised. We. We gave you the teaser on that June Lockhart thing. Did we cover it all?
E
Pretty much. June Lockhart, the known. Best known actress from the movies or TV show Lassie and Lost in Space, passed away at her home in Santa Monica of natural causes at the age of 100. She remains sharp and upbeat to the very end, according to the New York Times and the Los Angeles Angeles Times that she read every day. She was born in 1925 in New York City, the daughter of actors Jean and Kathleen Lockhart.
C
Oh, really?
E
Made her film debut at the age of 12 in a Christmas Carol alongside her parents.
A
Wow. I wonder how she got that part.
C
Nepo baby.
A
She.
D
She was. I read an interview with her and she was saying that you sitting around.
A
Reading old June Lockhart interview.
E
You read the story over this weekend.
A
God, that's crippling.
D
At least.
A
Sad.
D
Most of the Lassies were male. No.
A
That's a fascinating.
D
As a dog person, I thought you might appreciate this.
A
I do.
D
I'll tell you one thing. You don't really see a lot of collies anymore.
E
My neighbor has one beautiful dog.
D
Does she have the full size of the man?
A
Hey, Tom. Christy's neighbor has a collie negating your premise.
C
Your premise is BS Nana.
D
Does she also have. Is this the neighbor you're talking about that has the huge nose?
A
No, that's what you said. You said you. One of your neighbors has a really big Sierra.
G
You were telling.
E
All of you and.
A
I wish they'd move.
C
You said it.
E
I have wonderful neighbors.
G
That's not least in there.
A
You're going to put cayenne pepper in the dog?
C
Something like that, yeah.
E
I'm so sorry.
C
June Lockhart.
D
And she. She said that Lassie wasn't especially friendly, that they only paid attention to the train brainers.
C
But what do you want, June? Yeah. How dare that dog.
A
She also sit down and listen to one of your boring stories.
D
She speaks fluent dog. Okay, what else you got? Christy Lee.
E
Oh boy. We have an update on the Louvre heist.
C
Listen to this fact about June locker.
A
Okay, here we go.
C
Fascinated with space studies, the Lost in space co star spends a lot of time down at NASA. Making appearances at dinners and conventions with astronauts.
E
Does she dress as Maureen Robinson and their wives?
C
She's just down there.
I
Yay.
A
I like everything about that. The unaffected delivery.
D
Where's the robot?
C
She was actually Lockharts here again, bothering the tourists.
D
She was a practicing journalist. She went to the White House many times in her capacity.
C
How about that?
E
Authorities have arrested two suspects in connection with the theft of the crown jewels from Paris's Louvre museum. Yeah. One was caught at Paris's Charles de Gaulle airport trying to leave the country. Two other suspects and the jewels remain on the lamb.
D
Somebody had a cabin gravity search.
A
Yeah.
D
Yes. Hey, Pierre.
E
A German company.
D
Pierre, put on the glove. We got a live one.
E
Well, you heard how they caught these two, right?
D
They were the DNA and the helmet.
E
Yeah, they were the ones on the outside. And they left 150 fingerprints on the helmet, the reflecting vest, the ladder.
A
Any kind of gloves.
B
No gloves.
F
Yeah.
D
Shall we say in France, or as.
A
They say, no, in France, they go glouva.
D
Like louvres.
E
A German company that manufactures the brand of ladder used in that heist is making the most of the unexpected fame with their new ad campaign.
D
Is it.
A
It's.
D
It's a. A basket thing.
E
Yeah.
D
Like a crane on a basket.
C
Oh, like a cherry picker.
D
Yeah, kind of.
E
This week, CAR published a social media post featuring the now famous image of its furniture ladder extending up to a balcony outside the Gallery of Apollo. Follow the post was captioned quote. When you need to move fast, the Bachar Agilio transports your treasures weighing up to 400 kilograms. I said, yeah. At 42 meters a minute, quiet as a whisper.
C
How about that?
D
It's the same thing that Ford did after the OJ Thing.
E
Oh, sure.
C
Yeah. Yeah.
D
The Bronco.
C
The Bronco.
D
When you want to get away from.
C
It all, you can cruise control at a nice 45 miles per hour.
G
A place for your wig and your canvas Ash.
E
Yeah. There you go.
C
I still let these guys get away with it. It was so cool.
E
No.
C
Plus, nobody cares about that jewelry.
E
Yeah, they do.
C
It was sitting in a glass case.
G
No one's using it.
D
Well, the concern is that if.
E
That if it's already kind of.
D
It's already been broken. Oh, they don't know if it's. If it's still intact. If they melt down the silver and.
A
Melt down the gold, diamonds, there's no way it's still. And it's all melted down.
E
They've taken those apart the day of.
D
You never know.
A
They made it into somebody's grill.
C
Yeah.
D
Now, do you have to acquire the movie rights to the story or can someone just make it?
E
Because, you know, acquire it from.
C
In this case, I don't know. I mean, if you do it based on a report or an article. Yes.
A
My favorite part of it is that ladder leaning up against the building. Well, it's eight minutes right back.
E
Now it goes to show.
D
I've heard, by the way, I've heard everything from four plus minutes to eight, so I don't know what the actual number is, but not much. And I guess there were people in that gallery when they walked in.
C
Cool.
A
They were workers.
D
The museum had been open for half an hour when it happened.
C
I bet I could rob a museum.
E
Really?
C
Yep.
E
Think so.
C
What do you want? A couple postcards? I gotcha.
E
Well, the VA Museum in London has the Cartier exhibit. You could take anything you want out of there and I'd be out happy to to wear it.
C
You know what I got you, girl?
A
Some diamonds for that ass. How about that, huh?
D
Well, you better put them in there to get out.
A
What's the largest thing you would shove in there and have pulled out?
E
What?
A
You heard me.
D
Your tongue for pleasure. How about that?
A
Wow. George Hung your tongue. He said, oh, my tongue hung. Well, we can talk about that if I, you know, you do something for me.
C
For a second when you thought he said George Hung in your mind, you must have been like, oh my gosh, he has a person already in mind. And that's not Hell's George Hung. Yeah, like somebody he went to school with. This whole time he's just thought about old George Hung.
A
We got a new fake name. What was the last one we came? George Hong. And something tacky. Well, never mind.
E
The journal Scientific reports a new study finds that the world's most expensive coffee beans, which are excreted by civets, may have higher levels of fats and flavor enhancing compounds than traditionally harvested beans.
D
We've had this story before, but now there's a. Now they're attacking it with science. I'm skeptical.
E
Civet coffee is harvested from the fecal matter of civets after they have consumed ripe coffee beans, coffee berries, and digested the pulp. Scientists analyzed samples from wild civets on five estates growing robusta coffee in India and discovered that the civet beans had a significantly higher total fat content than the manually harvested beans.
C
Okay, good fats. I wonder.
E
It doesn't say whether they're the good fats or the bad fats.
D
Here.
E
I'm sorry. They believe scientists do that. The Chemical differences in the civet cause coffee are a result of fermentation of the beans in the digestive system.
A
Duh.
E
And the differences likely affect the final flavor.
C
I see. Okay.
D
But again, this is completely ridiculous.
C
Well, it's not for me. Yeah.
D
So I, I wanted to find out what it cost. And it says the average price for a cup of so called civet coffee at a specialty cafe in the United States is somewhere in the range of 50 to $100 per cup.
C
I'd maybe. Yeah. That's a lot.
D
Yeah.
E
Yeah, that is a lot.
D
Yeah. And it's. You know, again, this is just one of those gimmicky things that we try. Remember we had it here a couple years ago.
C
You guys actually had the civet coffee?
D
Yeah.
C
What'd you think?
A
It.
D
I couldn't have told.
A
I don't remember. Yeah. I don't remember what it tasted like.
D
I can't remember that much of a difference. But it's just one of those ridiculously.
F
Pretentious don't talk to me till I've crapped my first cup.
D
So that got me looking because I remembered we had a story not too long ago about elephant dung gin. And then there was also the dunga gin.
A
Yeah.
C
So good. Yes, thank you.
D
That is great dunga gin. We also had the coffee plantation in Brazil that was harvesting bird feces as the secret component for their exotic brew. The same deal. The birds eat the coffee beans and what they poop out. It's their quote here. Nuggets of gold drink my poop. Yeah. The best part of waking up is bird dung in my coffee. Good to the last dump. But there's a couple more that we've had over the years, including the beginning beer that was made with weasel dung. Do you remember this? It's called Snallygaster and I. It's apparently still out there. It's a Danish brew made with Vietnamese coffee beans passed through the digestive system of civet cats. So it's in other words instead of making coffee out of the poop, they're making beer out of it.
E
Apparently a civet elite. Just about anything, huh?
D
Yeah, I, I would you like me to see if I can get a. Get a yes. Thing of snally gaster.
C
No, I'd like to try. Yeah, I'd like to try the civet. Any. Yeah, I'll try it.
D
Yeah. The fact that it's a beer might be a little better than the coffee. I'm not sure.
C
Coffee and beer. Coffee and beer. I drink them both. Cuz I Ain't a queer.
A
That.
G
What are you doing?
C
You don't remember that old song?
G
That was an early jingle, wasn't it?
A
Right, right.
D
You proud of yourself?
A
Time for you today at all. Coffee and beer.
D
It's new butt light. Well, let's move forward here. We have Chick McGee right over there because tonight your team's playing.
A
That's right. And you can go to prize picks and make money being right. That's right. Yeah. Basketball, football, the World Series. The app from prize pick so simple to use. Pick two or more players across any sport. Pick more or less on their projections and if you're right, you could win big. Prize picks is also available in 40 plus states including California, Texas, Florida and Georgia. And more importantly, they don't play about your money. All transactions on the app are fast, safe and secure. Don't miss any of the action this season with prize picks where it's good to be right. Download the prize picks app today, use the code tom and get $50 bonus credit instantly in lineups when you play. $5. That's code tom on prize picks. Get $50 bonus credit instantly in lineups when you play your first $5. Win or lose you get 50 bucks bonus credit and lineups just for playing guaranteed prize picks. It is good to be right. Must be present in certain states. Visit prize picks.com for restrictions and details.
D
Thank you very much Chick. Good luck tonight with your team.
A
Thank you.
D
And don't forget tomorrow you can start getting ready for Week 9 in the NFL and send us your picks in order to win a very nice prize from Steven singer jewelers. That $500e gift card. Check out the inventory@ihatestevensinger.com all also while you're@bobandtom.com contest, you can get this done. Today we got a special giveaway from our friends at Orange insoles. Tis the season for insoles on those boots. Get some great orange insoles and you could also win yourself a 4K TV and a visa gift card. All the details are linked@bobandtom.com these are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom show.
H
This is the Bob and Tom Show. Reach us toll free at at 1-888-bob-tom1 or@bobandtom.com this is the Bob and Tom Show.
D
Just check it out.
C
Hey, it's the Bob and Tom show. Live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. We are a week away from Halloween. There's Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance Company news desk. Pat Godwin's over there on his way to Mason City Limits this weekend. Saturday night only. Get tickets@micklimits.com mclimits.com. there's Jeff Oscar at the Prize Pick Sports desk.
F
What was your best Halloween costume?
C
My favorite was the Joker when I was, like, 10 or 11. It was based on the Jack Nicholson Joker. Oh, he had just come out that year.
A
Wow.
C
I loved it. Yeah. Had like, a purple suit and the makeup.
A
Nice.
C
There's Ace Cosby. I'm Josh Arnold of the I hate Stephen Singer sidekick chair. Tom, did you have a favorite costume that you can remember?
D
Yeah, probably.
C
Charlie McCarthy.
D
Very dead. Quite dated at the time.
E
This ought to be good.
C
Well, it's fair.
D
I mean, there was a. There was a person by the name of Renee Richards.
C
Okay, sure.
D
Remember this?
E
Yeah.
G
The tennis player.
E
She was one of the first.
A
First.
D
Yes. Trans friends. Yes. Yes.
E
Trans.
D
These were you probably. I probably shouldn't even tell you probably shouldn't. Yeah. No, no, no, no.
C
This went way better than I even thought it was.
G
Don't tell me you dressed as Renee Richards.
E
As Renee Richards.
D
I did.
F
Oh, did you have a tennis skirt?
D
Yep.
C
Oh, two tennis balls.
D
It gets better. I had. I had a lot of hair then. And my sister, who is, of course, famous fashion model and an expert at that, she did my hair for me.
C
Nice.
D
And I had two tennis balls made into a necklace. It was great. Everything you can't do today without getting canceled. At the time, though, that was like a huge news story.
F
Oh, that's great.
D
Yeah.
C
I'm surprised there hasn't been a biopic on that. Maybe there has and I missed out.
D
Yeah, it could be. I think the person's name actually was, like, Dr. Dick Raskin.
E
Who?
D
Some famous eye surgeon or something. And a really good tennis player. Y. Yeah. So that was like the. No. No harm intended.
A
Just.
C
Well, no, of course not.
D
You're being so pat. Your best costume ever.
G
Oh, my best costume was supposed to be Batman, but it kind of got ruined at the end because it was cold. So my mom made me put a jacket on, so.
A
Oh, sure.
G
That was the best Batman, actually.
D
Yeah.
E
Yeah.
C
Was it Adam West?
G
Yeah. TV Batman. Plaster. Plaster Paris mask and everything. Oh, mom spent a lot of time on.
E
Wow.
D
Mr. Oskar.
A
Yeah.
F
Oh, I went as Bob Ross.
C
Oh, cool.
F
I had a nice leisure suit and I had my hair all froed out and carried a little easel. Everyone. Everyone enjoyed it.
D
That's still a good costume.
C
Yeah.
D
Yeah. Hey, when was we had the story about the Bob Ross auction. Has that Taken place.
E
I don't know. I'd have to look it up. It's where I'm.
D
You might have been on vacation.
A
The.
D
Bob Ross is the guy on PBS for who had. I know you do. I just. He was a former like. Like army drill sergeant or something. And. But he had this very quiet manner about him.
E
Very nice voice.
D
And he filmed a couple hundred episodes of the show and they still air it. But his paintings, he did thousands of them. Almost all of them are in a warehouse somewhere, I think in Virginia. Virginia. But they were releasing, I don't know, six or whatever. Not very many of them to sell for PBS.
C
The auction begins November 11th.
D
Okay.
F
Thank you, Christy. Your best costume.
E
My ex and I went as Boris and Natasha one time.
C
Oh, that's fine.
E
And I was Boris, obviously, because he's 64 and I'm 5ft and he was Natasha.
C
Oh, cool.
E
We won the prize.
A
That. Oh, cool.
E
I got to carry the little bomb.
C
Nice.
D
By the way, if you. I've actually seen this at an airport. When you say the little bomb, you.
C
Mean the one that.
D
It looks like a globe with a few sticking out of the top and they had a thing with a picture of one of those with a line through it. Like that's. That's how we make bombs today.
E
I don't think we ever made bombs like that, did we?
D
I don't know. But that's. That's. I guess that's the universal.
C
Yeah, I mean everyone knows that.
D
So. Yeah. Okay.
C
Yeah. Ace.
F
Did you ever go as a kiss man number?
A
No, we'll just. Alf, I dyed my hair.
F
Oh yeah, that's awesome.
E
Fur coat. Depending on the check. Local listing.
D
Very good. Now we mentioned the story about this is I believe our second stolen fire truck this week.
A
Yeah.
E
This is a guy, this time in Florida. He's been arrested after he allegedly stolen crashed a fire truck. According to Tampa Police, the 59 year old Warren Scott Gutter drove off with a Tampa fire rescue engine that had been parked outside St. Joseph's Hospital at 9:25am during his little joyride, he crashed into a Lexus SUV before police caught up with the suspect, blocked the engine's path and took him into custody. He now faces numerous charges, as you can imagine, including burglary of an unoccupied conveyance, grand theft of emergency medical equipment and. And DUI with property damage. He had a blood alcohol of 0.197, by the way.
D
9:30 in the morning.
E
Yeah.
D
Or as we call it, Florida.
A
Last call.
D
You're hammered at 9:30 in the morning. I mean, we've all maybe been a little tipsy, but have you ever been I'm going to steal a fire truck drunk?
E
No, not at 9 in the morning.
D
Anytime.
C
I was. Well, I know I've been. I'm going to say steal a golf cart drunk because once I got drunk and stole a golf cart, my buddy and I laughed and laughed.
F
You know, you could get a DUI in a golf cart. Like, how embarrassing.
C
That would. Yeah, yeah. Lose your license.
E
Did you crash?
C
No, we just cruised around the St Patrick's Day parade and just had a ball.
D
Okay. And I just found the previous drunk one was a la.
E
Yeah, right.
D
Oh, and also. Also apparently. Apparently drunk.
A
Yeah.
D
So. But she actually didn't crash. She just ditched the fire truck. At an intersection.
C
Yeah, at an intersection.
D
Okay. Ironically, though, I was just thinking about this. After you steal a fire truck, usually you get to have a ride in a police car for free. Oh, sure, you might be cuffed.
C
It's two for one.
D
Yeah.
A
But.
D
Yeah.
C
Where's the funniest place to drive a stolen fire truck?
E
Funniest place.
C
Like the funniest place to pull a fire truck.
E
Another firehouse or a McDonald's drive thru. Yeah.
A
Yeah.
F
You might get stuck.
D
Yeah, you're gonna get stuck. A fair question. We'll give it some thought and come back on Monday. Thanks so much for joining us. Don't forget to check out the contest happening@bobandtom.com contestant contest. It's that simple. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.
H
Want to share a letter or comment? Our email is Bob and Tom. Bob and Tom.com the United States Soccer Federation presents the U. S. Soccer Podcast.
C
Searching for an inside look at the people, stories and passion that fuel the.
D
State of soccer in America. Who's going to be the key man for the US Men's national team? First and foremost, mostly need to win.
E
There's something so fun about being the underdog.
C
You're playing with house money.
D
Almost.
E
But what does this success mean for the future of U.S. soccer?
D
Ooh, you're getting deep now. This is where soccer will come to Life. The U.S. soccer Podcast.
H
Follow and listen on your favorite platform.
Hosts: Bob, Tom, Chick McGee, Christy Lee, Ace Cosby, Josh Arnold, Pat Godwin, Jeff Oskay
Podcast Theme: Comedy, conversation, news, and listener interaction, live sports recaps, and offbeat stories
Date: October 27, 2025
This episode blends Halloween spirit, NFL and sports banter, off-the-wall humor, and classic BOB & TOM goofiness. The crew riffs on everything from NFL games and “Monster Mash” parodies to odd news—like cat poop coffee, Guinness records, and a massive nut brittle. Frequent callbacks and playful, sometimes irreverent banter provide an authentic BOB & TOM morning radio experience.
[00:16 – 03:28]
[04:07 – 08:46]
[08:59 – 11:18]
[11:18 – 14:39]
[14:54 – 27:45]
[27:45 – 33:33]
[42:33 – 44:27]
[16:50 – 22:27]
[85:15 – 87:37, 154:38 – end]
[99:38 – 112:45]
[158:49 – 160:31]
This episode epitomizes the BOB & TOM style: fast-moving, improvisational comedy, offbeat news, running jokes, and rowdy but good-natured mockery. The humor is hilariously irreverent—with plenty of groaners, puns, and callbacks. The hosts’ chemistry and ability to riff off mundane details or bizarre headlines keeps the pace lively, while emails and listener stories tie the show to its devoted fans.
Perfect for anyone craving fresh radio comedy, conversational comfort, off-kilter sports chat, or a break from ordinary news.