The BOB & TOM Show - September 10, 2025

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show – September 10, 2025

Podcast: The BOB & TOM Show Free Podcast
Hosts: Tom Griswold, Chick McGee, Christy Lee, Josh Arnold, Pat Godwin, Ace Cosby
Date: September 10, 2025

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Overview

This lively episode of The BOB & TOM Show blends signature comedic banter, personal anecdotes, musical performances, topical news, listener letters, and unique takes on sports and pop culture. The team discusses everything from medical mishaps and binge-watching research to sex toys, sports oddities, and listener confessions. As always, tongue-in-cheek humor, irreverence, and authentic chemistry drive the entertainment.

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Episode Highlights & Key Discussion Points

Hilarious Opening Sketch: "She Said / He Heard"

[01:37–04:15]
Pat Godwin opens with a musical sketch satirizing miscommunications in relationships, with everyone chiming in on misunderstandings between men and women.

• Memorable Line:
  • Pat: "She said, do I look fat in these pants? He heard, do you ever want to have sex again?"
  • Panel riffs continue with lines such as, "She said, you might not watch football—he heard, do you mind if I chop off your balls?"
• The bit sets the show’s energetic, edgy tone.

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Tom’s Hernia Surgery & Testicular Geography

[05:21–07:04, various]
Tom describes his post-surgery pains, anesthesia headaches, and the awkward logistics of sleeping post-hernia procedure.

• Chick and Josh tease Tom about "testicular geography."
• Memorable Exchange:
  • Chick: "Why isn’t that a course?"
  • Tom: "Testicular Geography 101? Where are your testicles in relation to Greece?"

Discussion moves to the prevalence and seriousness of hernias, with Christy sharing a personal family story about her father.

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Are There More Dead than Living Humans?

[07:31–08:28]
A philosophical detour—does humanity’s dead population outnumber the living?

• The team asks ChatGPT; Christy reads, [08:16] “Most demographers and population experts agree more people have died throughout human history than are alive today.”
• They riff on graveyard logistics (“Why not go vertical?”) and TV burial scenes.

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The Science of Binge Watching

[09:17–12:09]
Debate over new research suggesting binge-watching TV may be good for you.

• Christy: “Scientists at the University of Georgia found ... binge watching may help viewers build mental worlds where stories continue even after finishing the series...”
• Tom jokes research is paid for by Netflix.
• Comfort shows: Tom confesses to watching Andy Griffith for comfort; Chick mentions “The Repair Shop” as soothing.

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Cracker Barrel, Nostalgia, and Marketing Stunts

[17:43–18:28]
Discussion about Cracker Barrel attempting to modernize, facing fan backlash, and backtracking on renovations.

• Tom: “I’m just cynical enough to wonder if this was a publicity stunt.”

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Listener Letters: Commutes, Tinted Windows, and Laughter at the Wheel

[19:11–20:46]
Reading feedback from fans, including a letter about laughing out loud during commutes and drawing attention from other drivers.

• Josh: “I have tinted windows... you’re a coward,” teasing Chick, who admits he does too.

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Tom’s On-Air Medical Show-and-Tell

[21:01–23:02, 27:01–29:02]
Tom shares details about his surgical markings, "drawing on my pubic area," and introduces the other hosts to a hospital puke bag, with idle speculation about “reusing” one.

• The team jokes about hospital protocols, pubic shaving, and safe surgery checks.

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Musical Comedy: “Nobody Has Pubes Anymore”

[23:07–25:03]
Pat Godwin performs a humorous, original song on the waxing/shaving trends of modern grooming.

• Sample Lyric:
  • “Nobody has pubes anymore / Everybody’s hoo-ha’s baby-butt smoother...”
• The crew riffs on the (questionable) purpose of pubic hair.

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Orgasms and the Giggles

[25:29–26:23]
A listener confides she giggles uncontrollably after an orgasm.

• Josh: “Not alone, Bridget. I get the giggles, too. Not every time, but it can happen.”
• Group discusses post-coital laughter and whether Tom ever listens to pillow talk.

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Hospital Debris: Vomit Bag & Masculine DIY

[27:01–29:02]
Tom shows off his hospital “gigantic blue condom” vomit bag souvenir, prompting everyone to speculate on cost ($900) and alternative uses.

• The team humorously questions excessive thriftiness—rinsing out a vomit bag and splitting two-ply toilet paper.

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Feasting & Fake News: Buffets, McDonald's, and Three Meals of Gluttony

[29:44–31:36]
Listener recounts a vacation of three buffets in a single day.

• Discussion of the rumored McDonald’s buffet (likely fake), and the absurdity of trying to “game” a fast-food all-you-can-eat spread.

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66-Year-Old Retiree Joins College Marching Band—Dreams and Mockery

[13:12–14:11, 63:25–64:50]
The team covers the viral story of Kent Broussard, a 66-year-old retired accountant who joined the LSU marching band, realizing a lifelong dream.

• Chick (tongue-in-cheek): “He’s taking a child’s place in the band. It’s awful!”
• Tom defends the inspirational aspect, noting age should not deter pursuing a dream.

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Sports Snapshot: Big Home Runs; Fines; Odd Jobs

[13:12, 31:50–32:07, 77:00–78:11]
Quick roundup:

• Phillies’ Kyle Schwarber hits 50th home run.
• Jalen Carter fined for spitting on Dak Prescott.
• WNBA mascot names—“Doppler” the Seattle Storm mascot, “Buckets” (with a dollar sign), and “Prowl” the Minnesota Lynx cat—get roasted.
• Masters-level track athlete sanctioned for steroid use.

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Sports Medicine: IV Nightmares & Hospital Highs

[36:01–39:56]
Sharing of personal hospital/anesthesia stories—fears, tears, and gratitude for great nurses.

• Tom and others discuss IV mishaps, hospital phlebotomists, and their differences in anticipation tolerance.

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Letters, Listeners, and Lifestyles: Aglets & Shoelace Shopping

[39:51–43:15]
Letter from a listener about Tom’s unused “aglet kit” (shoelace tip-fixer).

• Christy reveals shoelace shopping adventures, with advice on eyelet counts and lengths.
• Jokes about bedpost-tying and necktie skills.

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Adult Toy Demographics: Sex Toy Data, City-by-City

[88:59–97:02]
A lengthy, comical breakdown of Lovehoney’s data on America’s sex toy habits.

• Cambridge, MA: Most sex toys per capita.
• Spring, TX: Most costumes (French maid is top).
• San Diego: Most handcuffs; Seattle: Most condoms; Brooklyn: Most XL condoms.
• Massachusetts: Most dildos per capita; Denver: Most gags; Annapolis, MD (home of U.S. Naval Academy): Most bondage gear.
• Monster-shaped dildos are a Miami favorite.
• Vulgar jokes abound about “corncob dildos,” ball gags, and state-by-state preferences.
• The panel admits their own Halloween and role-play experiences.

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True Crime: Foot & Butt Sniffers, And Their Misadventures

[104:57–109:02]

• Florida: A foot model is run over by a disgruntled client after a sneaker deal goes sideways at a hotel.
• California: A “serial butt sniffer” is arrested again inside a Walgreens.
• Tom muses on ways fetishists might avoid detection (comical "dog costume" suggestion).

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Science & Health: Ketchup for Diarrhea, Breakfast and Bones

[112:22–115:36, 159:49–161:19]

• Pop Sci’s piece on the wild history of ketchup, once prescribed as a diarrhea remedy.
• Discussion of unhealthy habits and osteoporosis, including data about skipping breakfast, smoking, and alcohol.
• The panel debates breakfast, intermittent fasting, and what counts as “breakfast” food.
• Gossiping with your partner is declared healthy for bonding.

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Offbeat News: Lost Luggage, Slugs, & Barbie Cars

• Apple AirTag heroics:
  • A California man recovers stolen luggage—while the thief is already wearing his clothes, tracked thanks to AirTags.
  • Tom: “Would you want to go into an abandoned building full of bums?”
• [137:00] Ding Dong Deutsch: In Germany, a mysterious doorbell pranker turns out to be a slug.
• [164:21] Canadian man is arrested for drunkenly driving a child-sized Barbie Jeep. The panel riffs on the legalities and style choices (aviators at night).

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Pop Culture & Nostalgia

• [75:08–76:10]
  The hosts discuss communal moviegoing, classic films like Spinal Tap, and the unique magic of old shows and mascots.

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“Sexy Time with Ally Breen” – Relationship Advice Segment

[140:47–154:30]

• Ally, sporting a bee-stung allergy face, reads listener relationship queries:
  • Should you invite your fiancé’s ex to your wedding?
  • Is a partner “shady” for not letting you use their phone?
  • Should you bring up catching feelings with your coworker affair partner?
  • Should you get rid of your cats for a mother-in-law’s allergy?
  • Is it gross to be surprised by a partner’s period during a hookup?
  • Must you be in the same wedding party as an ex you hate?
  • Is it problematic to hang out with a cover band after a show?
• The team delivers a blend of mockery, surprising honesty, and over-the-top advice.
• Notable Lines:
  • Christy (on wedding exes): “My exes were all invited. They can all come. I don't care.”
  • Josh: “Tell him you're pregnant and just go for all of it.”
  • On period surprise: “You should look like you just finished a jelly donut eating contest.” – Tom

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “Every move he makes... testicular geography.” – Chick [05:04–05:12]
• “You can buy this thing in Tuscany for $180,000...” – Chick [12:40]
• “You got to call them if you want to have sex before two weeks.” – Tom [49:03]
• “You suppose people reuse condoms?” – Tom [29:27]
• “Can I borrow that vomit bag real quick?” – Chick, after a bad pun [30:13]
• “No better time for grilling now. Oh, are you kidding me?” – Tom on Omaha Steaks [19:11, reprised]
• “If you can get the aglet fixed before winter, that’s a DIY project.” – Tom [40:38]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Time | Segment or Topic | | :-------- | :----------------------------------------------- | | 01:37 | Opening comedic musical: “She Said / He Heard” | | 05:21 | Tom’s hernia surgery & “testicular geography” | | 08:16 | Dead vs. living humans debate | | 09:35 | The science of binge watching | | 17:43 | Cracker Barrel renovation controversy | | 21:01 | Medical tattoo & pubic area drawing (Tom’s story) | | 23:07 | Pat Godwin song: “Nobody Has Pubes Anymore” | | 25:29 | Orgasms & the giggles – listener letter | | 29:44 | Listener letter: Three buffets in one day | | 31:50 | Sports highlights: home runs, fines, mascots | | 39:51 | Listener letter: Tom’s aglet kit | | 88:59 | Sex toy data breakdown: U.S. data by locale | | 104:57 | Foot model run over by disgruntled shoe buyer | | 109:00 | Serial butt sniffer arrested in Walgreens | | 112:22 | Ketchup as a cure for diarrhea | | 140:47 | “Sexy Time with Ally Breen” advice session | | 159:49 | Breakfast habits and osteoporosis news |

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Tone & Style

Sarcastic, irreverent, playful, and sometimes gleefully inappropriate. The humor leans into absurdity, blending quick-fire insults, recurring in-jokes, and outrageous riffs on otherwise mundane news.

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For New Listeners

A fast-paced showcase of real conversations, running jokes, and sharp-witted musicianship, The BOB & TOM Show—September 10, 2025—offers everything from hospital puke bags to mass sex toy shipment data, sports tangents, nostalgic detours, sexual confessions, and more. If you haven’t heard the show, this episode distills why longtime fans keep tuning in for the unpredictable, laugh-out-loud rollercoaster.

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Skip to [23:07] for Pat Godwin’s song, or [88:59] for the sex toy geography—two signature bits of the show!

Transcript

[Christy Lee]

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[Tom Griswold]

Terms apply.

[Christy Lee]

Learn [e-mail] Business Platinum AmEx Business Platinum.

[Chick McGee]

Built for business by American Express it's the Bob and Tom show.

[Pat Godwin]

She said, you look handsome today dear. He heard I just bought something really expensive. He said, are you having an affair? She heard, cause I am and it's great. She said, do I look fat in these pants? He heard, do you ever want to have sex again? He said, you look great in those pants. She heard, I am totally trained. She said it was fun visiting your mother. He heard, you owe me big time. He said I bought you something from Victoria's Secret. She heard, and could you wear this.

[Christy Lee]

Bag over your head too?

[Pat Godwin]

She said, was it good for you? He heard, cause I hope someone had fun. She said, we need to talk. He heard, you need a lawyer. He said, would you mind squeezing the toothpaste from the bottom? She heard, do you mind living with an anomaly of neur? She said, you were snoring again last night. He heard you have to breathe. He said, I'm thinking about buying a motorcycle. She heard, I'm in the mood for a big fight. She said, would you go clothes shopping with me? He heard, can I pull your fingernails out with pliers? He said, I thought our waitress was very nice. She heard, I'll be thinking about her during sex. She said, this commercial is so beautiful. He heard, I'm getting my period. He said, let's try something new tonight. She heard, let's see if you're double jointed. She said, you might not watch football. He here do you mind if I.

[Chick McGee]

Chop off your oh that's just great. Neat way to start the day.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you mind if I start watching football?

[Josh Arnold]

Chop off your balls is what he said.

[Chick McGee]

Hacky McClam. Hi. It's the Bobbitt Top show.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, boy. I was worried about Friday's show. Not this one.

[Josh Arnold]

Fridays.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Because if Washington loses, you know who comes in here?

[Chick McGee]

Christy Lee. How the heck are you?

[Christy Lee]

Ghost of chicken, how are you?

[Chick McGee]

There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hello, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

What can I do for you, Pat?

[Pat Godwin]

Anything I can fix my eye watch. Get me a new glass.

[Chick McGee]

Everybody's here for you, Pat. There's Josh Arnold. Hello, Ace Cosby.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

I'm Chick. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. And every move he makes, every something.

[Josh Arnold]

He step, he takes.

[Chick McGee]

Every step he takes, you hear?

[Christy Lee]

Poor guy.

[Josh Arnold]

In a little discomfort.

[Pat Godwin]

Tommy, you just had surgery.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah, I had some surgery on.

[Chick McGee]

Monday and I'm not embellishing this. My head is pounding.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, this is the. The post anesthesia headache.

[Chick McGee]

It's gas, man. It's gas.

[Tom Griswold]

And the gas coming out your shoulders or whatever, but, yeah, I'll be okay. But I just have to be very careful, particularly with regard to testicular geography.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

If you will. Like right now, if I want to move like this, I got to kind of, you know, move my arms, get myself positioned.

[Josh Arnold]

Whatever you got to do.

[Chick McGee]

Why isn't that a course?

[Tom Griswold]

Testicular Geography 101.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Where are your testicles in relation to Greece? For inst.

[Josh Arnold]

Today, we'll be discussing the perineal grange.

[Chick McGee]

That's right. And the valley of the gluteal cloth.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. Yes. I had to sleep on my back the last couple of days.

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

What that's tough is how do you.

[Christy Lee]

Not roll over while you.

[Josh Arnold]

I know, that's tough.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Because if you start to roll over.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Your gonads alert your brain that they're being crushed by something.

[Chick McGee]

Is that what hurts the most or the incision site?

[Tom Griswold]

No, just the general area.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Does it hurt less than the actual hernia itself?

[Tom Griswold]

No. Oh, the hernia was brutal.

[Pat Godwin]

We're on our way to.

[Josh Arnold]

But this hurts.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

No. So I'm sorry. The hernia was terrible. Yeah, I'll be fine now.

[Chick McGee]

Many, many people have hernias. They don't even know it until the doctor goes, hey, you got a hernia.

[Tom Griswold]

No. I knew this one.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, some are horrible.

[Christy Lee]

My dad took his to the grave.

[Tom Griswold]

Really?

[Chick McGee]

See? See? Hernia could have killed you.

[Tom Griswold]

Did he want to take his grave.

[Christy Lee]

On his death certificate? That's how I found it. I read about it. Oh, yeah?

[Chick McGee]

You read your dad's death certificate?

[Christy Lee]

I'm interested in these things.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm sorry. I shouldn't read it on the air.

[Christy Lee]

That's nice.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, we do call you the angel.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, you are.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a new feature we're gonna start.

[Chick McGee]

Really? It's not really good morning anymore.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a lot of bad news.

[Chick McGee]

Guess who died? Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I don't have one today.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, well, mornings early, if you want to.

[Tom Griswold]

I can't go to today in History and find a couple for you.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, of course, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Are there more people that have died than are alive right now? Go ahead, talk among yourself.

[Josh Arnold]

It has to be yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that's a really good question.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, but for sure, yeah. I don't know. In history, how many have more people died than are alive right now?

[Tom Griswold]

When do we start counting?

[Josh Arnold]

The answer is absolutely yes.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, when do we start counting people, though? I mean, you know, Australopithecus. Does that count?

[Chick McGee]

Or, you know, my dad, he said, hey, go ahead, stupid, mess up. You know, hell's only half full is what he told me.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, great.

[Tom Griswold]

I love that explanation.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, here's what Chat GPT says. Okay, well, that's fascinating and a surprisingly complex question. Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yes. Most demographers and population experts agree more people have died throughout human history than are alive today. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

So there's that.

[Christy Lee]

That there's 8.1 billion alive today.

[Chick McGee]

Definitive to me.

[Christy Lee]

It's estimated the number of humans who have ever lived, 110 to 120 billion.

[Tom Griswold]

Where do they pull that number out of there?

[Pat Godwin]

A lot of graves out there.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, they just counted graves.

[Chick McGee]

Who thought they should, you know, horizontally. Why didn't they go vertically? Vertically, right at the start.

[Christy Lee]

That's what I want.

[Tom Griswold]

You got to dig too deep.

[Chick McGee]

Well, you're going down six feet. Why not go down 12? What's the biggest?

[Christy Lee]

They didn't have machinery back then because.

[Tom Griswold]

You'D have to go wider to get down there with a shovel.

[Chick McGee]

Well, you know, hang out and wait. The backhoe would have been invented a couple years sooner. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Remember that great scene in the TV show the Americans where they're burying the guy? That's one of the best scenes ever on television.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, great. Great. If you gotta ever get a chance, binge watch that baby. Now. We have a lot of interesting things coming up.

[Christy Lee]

Binge watching. Good for you. We have that news story.

[Tom Griswold]

I saw that.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

I would have got the opposite.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, we'll find out why, Because I am skeptical as well.

[Chick McGee]

Really?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, that binge watching is good for you.

[Christy Lee]

Let me do it right now new research suggests binge watching might actually be good for you.

[Chick McGee]

Scientists. Would you believe that reading a book a week is good for you?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Of course.

[Chick McGee]

So why is that different than watching?

[Josh Arnold]

In my mind, binge watching is eight hours a day in front of the television. So I don't know the definition of binge watching.

[Tom Griswold]

I think what they mean is watching a show beginning to end in a short period of time as opposed to waiting a week.

[Pat Godwin]

You're just sedentary, sitting on the couch.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that's. That's why you're not moving.

[Chick McGee]

I thought it was drinking all the alcohol you could hold while you're watching tv.

[Christy Lee]

Scientists at the University of Georgia found that people who enjoy marathon sessions, watching movies or TV shows, or reading books are more likely to remember stories and keep engaging with them through daydreams and fantasies. Dr. Joshua Baldwin explained that binge watching may help viewers build mental worlds where stories continue even after finishing the series, and the stories may help them cope in times.

[Tom Griswold]

What's this doctor's name?

[Christy Lee]

Joshua Baldwin.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. He works for Netflix. Perfectly.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, Perfectly has an agenda.

[Tom Griswold]

Objective.

[Chick McGee]

I'm the doctor of TVology.

[Josh Arnold]

Help them cope with stress by thinking about your favorite show.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

That's interesting.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that's. That seems.

[Josh Arnold]

What would Don Draper do?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

A little bit of a.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Although I must say, there are times when I'll just want to watch the Andy Griffith show and feel better about life.

[Chick McGee]

Sure.

[Christy Lee]

That's because my husband.

[Chick McGee]

You're insane. Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

There's just something about it.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, you think. You don't think so?

[Chick McGee]

I be okay.

[Josh Arnold]

We all have those shows. It may not be Andy Griffith for.

[Tom Griswold]

What's your go to show that you.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know. I don't really have one, honestly.

[Christy Lee]

You don't, like, watch old Seinfelds or something?

[Chick McGee]

No, the repair shop currently. But it changes, I guess.

[Tom Griswold]

And that's. That BBC. That's a great show.

[Chick McGee]

They repair things.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that's really. But that's. Yeah, I really. I. You. You told me to watch that.

[Chick McGee]

And it's very calming.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. They're finding old parts and putting things together.

[Chick McGee]

And one guy, though, organized, as you' pointed out, he's got to get his teeth fixed. One of the guys are like. You don't want him to, like, laugh out loud. Yeah. You know.

[Tom Griswold]

So binge watching is good for you then.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So what this guy says, what is it? Because you're getting to get a whole story and you can put it in your dreams or something.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Fantasize. About it. I guess that's because I watch HGTV a lot, so I fantasize about moving far, far away.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Hdgtv. One of the things they never tell you is they never really kind of give you the price of stuff. Straightforward.

[Christy Lee]

If they give you the price, it's not with the labor included, that's for sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, same with those car fix it shows. We bought the car for 2000, we sold it for 6000, and I love watching. And we had a genius mechanics work on it for nothing.

[Christy Lee]

I love watching, like, House Hunters International. Yes. You can buy this beautiful home in Barcelona for just $200,000. Right. Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

You're a house freak.

[Chick McGee]

I keep getting these Instagram notifications that I can buy this thing in Tuscany for $180,000.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I get those too.

[Chick McGee]

And it's, It's. It looks like a nice place. I don't know. I heard there was. It wasn't anything available.

[Tom Griswold]

Does that. Does that come with a fine? A toll fine?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, there's got to be some, you.

[Tom Griswold]

Know, and something about your mortgage and.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Hating Americans and they don't want you there.

[Chick McGee]

Some Don Sicilian come over and kick me out of the house.

[Tom Griswold]

What's coming up in sports?

[Chick McGee]

That's a great question. Schwarby goes yard and he's hit 50 home runs for the Phillies. We'll talk about it. Jalen Carter, his suspension has been handed down and his fine. He's got a. Come up with some cash and we've got something that Tom's come up with that I. I can't take credit for, nor will I act like it's my idea. That's right. A retired accountant, okay out his dream by playing in a marching band for a college.

[Tom Griswold]

This is my favorite story of the day.

[Chick McGee]

Huh?

[Tom Griswold]

The guy's 66 years old.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

For him.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Griswold]

He's in the LSU marching band.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

You know, though, the band. The band are all those. They're the partiers. You say what you want about the team and. But they've got the liquor in the back of the box.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, but they work so hard.

[Tom Griswold]

I heard this guy. I heard this guy's hitting on one of the young flute players.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, boy.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, this will end.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, Here we go. So much for talking about that. Very much.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, it's a great story. I'm very excited about it.

[Chick McGee]

It.

[Tom Griswold]

But right now I'm also excited about Raycon earbuds because they're the best way to listen to this show.

[Chick McGee]

Let me tell you why. Because it's back to cool time. Not back to school, back to cool with Raycons. The everyday Earbuds Classics are back and they've been upgraded even more. Raycons Everyday Earbuds Classic packed with upgrades, active noise cancellation, multi point connectivity you can pair with two devices at once and a super comfortable ergonomic fit. They get a load of this. They stay in your ears. Check out the new cool mint color too. Plus the everyday earbuds classic. 32 hours of battery life, quick charge function, you get 90 minutes of battery by charging for just 10 minutes. And the awareness mode, which is great if you're out walking the big sweetie. Go to buyraycon.com tom and take advantage of the special offer we've arranged for you. 20% off site wide. Let's go to buyraycon.com tom 20% off site wide. Today this message sponsored by Raycon.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up, a guy living his dream by joining the marching band. Plus we have ketchup in the news. This is very important.

[Chick McGee]

Do you have the instrument he's playing?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, that's what I was wondering.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I do.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, oh, I'm not gonna tell you.

[Tom Griswold]

Can we guess the bonaphone also?

[Chick McGee]

Is he playing the bonaphone time?

[Tom Griswold]

He's not playing the bona phone.

[Christy Lee]

Is he doing the flags? That would be great.

[Tom Griswold]

We have the importance of eating breakfast in the news.

[Chick McGee]

Don't believe in it.

[Tom Griswold]

So you were skipping breakfast right now? You might want to wait for this story. It's very important. We come to you from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Thursday Night Football is back and it's only on prime video. This week, the Washington Commanders take on the Green Bay Packers. With both teams determined to prove their worth, this should be a terrific game. The Washington Commanders going up to Green Bay trying to get a win up there. Jordan Love, the quarterback for the Green Bay packers, had a subpar year last year. Can he shake it off and show his true talent against the Washington Commanders? Coverage begins at 7pm Eastern with Football's Best Party TNF tonight presented by Verizon. Not a Prime member. Not a problem. Simply sign up for a 30 day free trial. It's the Commanders and the packers Thursday at 7pm Eastern only on Prime Video. Restrictions apply. See Amazon.com Amazon prime for details. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance news desk.

[Christy Lee]

Hello, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

Hello. There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

Hello. There's Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi there.

[Chick McGee]

Hi there. There's Ace Cosby. Hello. Hello. There's O'Reilly Auto Parts. That's our studios. I'm Chick. Hello. Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Did we talk about maybe getting a bunch of auto parts hanging from the ceiling like an old Fridays.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, we have. That'd be cool.

[Tom Griswold]

That'd be great. Like a big transmission.

[Chick McGee]

It's. I think you would enjoy being in charge of the project of actually hanging at least the. The shell of an old car from the ceiling. That sounds complicated. And involved.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Ten or 12 guys would have to be involved and it would be really something.

[Tom Griswold]

We need a crane.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Great.

[Christy Lee]

Speaking of that, did you see the big news about Cracker Barrel again?

[Chick McGee]

Now what?

[Christy Lee]

Now they have backtracked on remodeling their restaurants.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, good.

[Christy Lee]

Apparently they'd only remodeled four of 660. The one that I go to happened to be one of the four.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Christy Lee]

It was a test market and we.

[Chick McGee]

Ain'T even made it down.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, they. Because of the fan reaction, they've decided to back off of that. So.

[Josh Arnold]

Such a hilarious case of if it ain't broke, fix it.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. That was a big announcement yesterday from the.

[Tom Griswold]

But in a way, though, they've gotten more publicity out of this.

[Christy Lee]

Well, there's that. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, I'm just cynical enough to wonder if this was. It's good idea done on purpose just to get the publicity.

[Josh Arnold]

I saw that CEO give an interview. I don't think she has that kind of much savvy. She seemed like she was really behind these changes.

[Chick McGee]

I have to do something to justify my job. I know.

[Tom Griswold]

Boy, have I seen that in my life. Time now for some letters. Is that correct?

[Chick McGee]

Listener letters brought to you by Omaha Steaks. Get fired up for fall grilling with Omaha Steaks. Oh, you got the game on. You go out to the deck, flip the stakes over, but go back and watch the game. The Omaha Steaks go to Omaha steaks.com for 50% off site wide. That's half. And for an extra $35 off, use the promo code BTS at checkout. That's Omaha Steaks.

[Tom Griswold]

No better time for grilling now. Oh, are you kidding me? You got the pregame going on. You got the tailgate. We're doing a special tailgate party here. Yeah, details, details coming up. It will involve, of course, some delightful Omaha Steaks. Got a letter right here. Good morning. Enjoying my commute every day to Mobile, Alabama.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, very nice.

[Tom Griswold]

Wants to say hello. This is Celeste. She says the other drivers must think I'm nuts laughing out loud by myself in the car.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

People are worried that they pretty named. They're being watched by other drivers as they're laughing.

[Christy Lee]

Do you watch other drivers when you drive?

[Tom Griswold]

Never really.

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm looking ahead.

[Chick McGee]

Do you ever. At a stoplight or something? And they've. They've made you. They're driving slow or whatever, and you. You give them the. The clandestine middle.

[Christy Lee]

I don't do that.

[Chick McGee]

Scratching your cheek.

[Tom Griswold]

You know something? Not anymore, no.

[Christy Lee]

But I know.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. That is so true.

[Christy Lee]

I will take a look and see, like, hey, oh, yeah, what's your deal?

[Chick McGee]

I noticed that windows are even more tinted than they used to.

[Josh Arnold]

Cowards. I have tinted windows. You're a coward.

[Chick McGee]

I have tinted windows.

[Josh Arnold]

I have the right to look at whoever just cut me off.

[Christy Lee]

Exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

Are there criminals?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, there's a lot of that.

[Chick McGee]

All right. Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, criminals are cowards as well.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, tinted windows and a certain kind of music. I say, hey, probable cause.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

No. Do you look inside windows when you're driving through neighborhoods?

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, I do.

[Chick McGee]

I can't.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm too busy texting.

[Chick McGee]

When you. Where's your house?

[Pat Godwin]

Obsession.

[Chick McGee]

When you get lost and turn around in somebody's driveway, you honk the horn real quick and then pull out.

[Tom Griswold]

That actually leads her here. That actually leads to a story coming up a little bit later on that's kind of about that, but do you have a letter over there?

[Chick McGee]

This leads to a Pat Godwin song, I think. Dear Bob and Tom show. Tom had his hernia procedure a couple days ago. He doesn't know if his pubes were shaved.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I checked.

[Chick McGee]

You checked?

[Tom Griswold]

And no.

[Christy Lee]

Okay. No, I wouldn't think so. They don't have to go that far down.

[Tom Griswold]

Although the. The drawing on my pubic area is still there.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, they use a Sharpie.

[Chick McGee]

What did they draw, like the screen or something?

[Tom Griswold]

Or my doctor. Excellent doctor. Of course.

[Chick McGee]

Of course.

[Tom Griswold]

He. Yeah, he takes a Sharpie and he draws in that area so there's no confusion when it's time to do the surgery. And then when you go in, what.

[Chick McGee]

Does he draw on your pew?

[Josh Arnold]

He's not the only surgeon that does that.

[Tom Griswold]

No, of course.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

When I. When I had my knee operated on, they come in and they talk to you, and then they draw on the knee. You know, this is the one we're going to be doing. But then when you go into the operating theater, they say, you know, what's your name? What's your date of birth? Then they say, what are we doing today? And so just so there's no errors. But, yeah, he. The drawing is still there. It's quite nice.

[Chick McGee]

What is it drawing of?

[Tom Griswold]

It reminds me of those little things in Mad magazine used to have on the side. Those little tiny.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know, it's like a profile.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, Yeah. I think it's. I'm not sure exactly what it is.

[Chick McGee]

Anyway, Pat, can you please play Nobody has Pubes Anymore?

[Tom Griswold]

I'd be happy to, but the fubes are still there.

[Chick McGee]

This is Brian's favorite song. Brian from northwest Ohio.

[Tom Griswold]

There is some weird dye on my stomach.

[Christy Lee]

Is it orange?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. There's some, like, orange Betadine.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, that's some sort of.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, it's an ant.

[Tom Griswold]

And then I've got three holes. Three holes in my belly where they put the machine in and did all their work. It's great. It's amazing.

[Chick McGee]

I think the orange liquid is transmitters. So the government contract let them.

[Tom Griswold]

Fine. I don't care. It's not that interesting. I love this song. Pat, what's happening over there?

[Chick McGee]

Hey. What? I've said hey. Sorry, I was getting into it. I'm sorry.

[Pat Godwin]

See, I'm doing short intros now, so.

[Chick McGee]

All right. Yeah, you gotta get to it.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, let's get to it.

[Tom Griswold]

We'll do the long intro, then we'll applaud like we know what the song is. This is head. The head. Finally.

[Josh Arnold]

Way back when I was 22 everybody.

[Tom Griswold]

Had hair down there.

[Pat Godwin]

The girls in Playboy magazine all had pubic hair on.

[Josh Arnold]

I like to take a lady to.

[Pat Godwin]

Lunch if there's a little carpet to munch but nobody has pubes.

[Josh Arnold]

Went down to my local gym and all the guys there all hair free. I'm feeling self conscious. Cause downstairs I'm Duck Dynasty Shit, my junk had a heart attack Looks like baby cat playing Hacky sack off Nobody.

[Pat Godwin]

Has pubes Many more.

[Josh Arnold]

Nobody has pubes.

[Pat Godwin]

Everybody's Hoo ha's baby butt smoother.

[Josh Arnold]

Nobody has pubes anymore. Oh, puberty hair I love you.

[Pat Godwin]

Why did you have to go.

[Josh Arnold]

I.

[Pat Godwin]

Dig a Chia Pet or a fro like Jimmy Walker I miss the 70s and a crotch like Chewbacca Had a date Very nice.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you.

[Pat Godwin]

Had a date with a gorgeous girl.

[Josh Arnold]

Ella, twice her age I was hoping when we made love she had a.

[Pat Godwin]

Head down there like Betty Page now everybody's coochie is barren I like a little Got Funkle down there. Nobody has pubes anymore.

[Josh Arnold]

Everybody's waxed and shaved and I like a big bush at the top of.

[Pat Godwin]

The cave Nobody has pews anymore Ladies.

[Chick McGee]

Let your garden grow. All right.

[Josh Arnold]

Very nice.

[Tom Griswold]

That's very nice.

[Chick McGee]

I guess that serves some purposes. Purpose, right? Pubic hair.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. It keeps as far as stuff from getting in there.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that what it's for?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

That's what all hair pretty much is for.

[Pat Godwin]

Hair in your nose.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. I gotta be honest, I thought it.

[Tom Griswold]

Was to discourage the female orgasm.

[Christy Lee]

No, but speaking of that, the one. The female orgasm.

[Pat Godwin]

I don't know what that is.

[Christy Lee]

This is from Bridget in Kentucky. Good morning, Christy and gentlemen.

[Chick McGee]

Is she normal height?

[Christy Lee]

I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. Most people named Bridget are. Stop.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, there is the one.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. She's.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

We were talking about laughter at intimate moments. Do you recall that on the show?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

And she said it made me realize I'm a little bit of a weirdo. I guess if I have a really good orgasm, I get the giggles to the point where it takes several minutes to get back into any kind of intimacy with my partner.

[Josh Arnold]

Not alone, Bridget.

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Josh Arnold]

I get the giggles.

[Chick McGee]

You laugh it up.

[Christy Lee]

You get the giggle.

[Chick McGee]

Kidding.

[Josh Arnold]

I get the giggles. Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Josh Arnold]

Not every time, but it can happen.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

At what point?

[Josh Arnold]

Right after? Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, really?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

She says it usually makes him giggle too. So it's all good.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

That's fun.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. I've never heard of that.

[Josh Arnold]

Something. There must be some flood of serotonin or something that occurs.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Christy Lee]

Wow.

[Josh Arnold]

The dopamine is flowing.

[Chick McGee]

Well, this must have happened to you, Tom, during an intimate moment. And, you know, she says something and you. You had to have said. I'm sorry, what did you say? Or you can't hear it? It's like. I beg your pardon? Something like. You've never done that?

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, come on.

[Pat Godwin]

Do you say. You say that was amazing or something?

[Chick McGee]

Either that or you never say anything.

[Christy Lee]

There's no talking at all.

[Pat Godwin]

You lay back.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm not listening.

[Christy Lee]

There you go.

[Josh Arnold]

That's what he does to him. Shut up, shut up, shut up.

[Tom Griswold]

Next.

[Chick McGee]

There. Enjoy your baby. All right.

[Christy Lee]

We're not having fun. You're not having fun.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

It's quiz time, huh, Christy? You're not eligible for this.

[Christy Lee]

Okay?

[Tom Griswold]

Do you guys know what this is?

[Josh Arnold]

He's opening some kind of bag.

[Pat Godwin]

It sounds like that's something from the hospital.

[Tom Griswold]

Very good. It's from the hospital.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, it's a urinal for your.

[Pat Godwin]

That's your catheter.

[Tom Griswold]

I've never seen one of these before. It's. This is a vomit bag.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

It looks like a huge condom. It looks like a gigantic Blue condom.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. As I was leaving. I don't. They said, I guess sometimes people puke after surgery. I guess I did not. But they gave me two of these guys.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, 900 bucks.

[Pat Godwin]

Totally. Unless added to your bill.

[Tom Griswold]

Look at the size of this thing.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. You want it that big, right?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

If you're going to puk in it.

[Chick McGee]

You don't want it to.

[Tom Griswold]

But this is better than the air sickness bags on the planes because you got a lot more room.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that is better.

[Chick McGee]

Yep. For whatever reason.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I put more trust in something plastic than the. The paper. I don't know why, but yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And when your daughter was a flight attendant for quite a while, did she ever have to retrieve an air sickness bag from somebody?

[Chick McGee]

I'm sure she did, but that's got to be.

[Tom Griswold]

You put a glove on or something.

[Chick McGee]

Disgusting.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, there's got to be a protocol.

[Pat Godwin]

I've never seen anybody get sick.

[Christy Lee]

I haven't either.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank goodness I have.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, like you.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And that bag really, like, this thing is big enough. Those bags on this. And it's kind of hard to hit, but this is. This is nice.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. You find the bag with you now? From now on?

[Josh Arnold]

No, no.

[Tom Griswold]

I brought in just to show you guys because I didn't know what it was.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I see what, you're collapsed down. You're gonna keep that handy for. For my sports cast. Is that it?

[Josh Arnold]

Is that what you're getting?

[Chick McGee]

Is that what you're getting during a song?

[Pat Godwin]

Maybe during Pat song, one of my iffy ones.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

You start to vomit.

[Josh Arnold]

Maybe I have an aside that doesn't.

[Chick McGee]

Hit as hard as you've made.

[Tom Griswold]

Will you say, well, first, I didn't bring enough for all of those things.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, that one could be rinsed out.

[Chick McGee]

Fair enough. Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Anyway, I just thought. Well, good. Good for you for guessing.

[Chick McGee]

How cheap do you have to be to rinse out a vomit bag?

[Christy Lee]

Pretty cheap.

[Chick McGee]

It's like that guy who the two ply toilet paper. He splits them apart and only uses one ply.

[Josh Arnold]

That's a maniac.

[Chick McGee]

That's not like it's some sort of lifestyle report on the news. Here's a guy.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you suppose. Do people reuse condoms?

[Christy Lee]

I would hope.

[Josh Arnold]

Donnie Baker always claimed.

[Chick McGee]

I bet.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, it was a running joke.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Didn't Donnie have him hanging from his curtain rod? Or was it the rod in the shower? I'm not sure. Well, Pat, I've got another song for you coming up, a song request.

[Josh Arnold]

I've got a letter about food. You want to hear it real quick.

[Chick McGee]

Sure. Yummy.

[Josh Arnold]

You go from sex to food.

[Chick McGee]

All right.

[Josh Arnold]

Man, what a morning this is. It comes to us from Autumn. A very fitting name.

[Chick McGee]

300 days. 300 days of autumn.

[Tom Griswold]

I wonder when Autumn was born.

[Ally Breen]

April.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, springtime.

[Josh Arnold]

You know what's funny is her last name might suggest when she was born, but I could have been in the evening. Her last name is an Autumn. It's not Autumn Evening, but it's nightly.

[Christy Lee]

Autumn Morning. What?

[Chick McGee]

Hang on. Tom, can I borrow that vomit bag real quick?

[Josh Arnold]

I don't remember the protocol on giving first and last name. I'll just give her email address. My favorite inner fat chick. In quotes, she says, during vacation was a moment. We woke up at the hotel at Virginia beach and had a beautiful breakfast buffet. Aren't those nice?

[Chick McGee]

Nice.

[Josh Arnold]

Later, we were looking for lunch. We found a KFC buffet.

[Chick McGee]

Whoa.

[Josh Arnold]

So damn good. She says. Then for dinner, we went to a seafood buffet with all the crab legs and shrimp and oysters fresh or Roc. A fella, as my grandma would say.

[Chick McGee]

Rockefeller.

[Josh Arnold]

Rockefeller. Fattest thing I've ever done, says Autumn3. And the email is titled Three Buffets in One Day.

[Tom Griswold]

We were talking about the alleged McDonald's buffet. That may be a fake story.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, it may be. I know.

[Chick McGee]

Very sad.

[Josh Arnold]

Christy. Red from the store. I mean, I guess this is just gonna happen once a month now.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm just gonna have fake stories.

[Tom Griswold]

But it wouldn't make sense to have a buffet at a.

[Josh Arnold]

No, I mean, that's why we were so.

[Tom Griswold]

Because I would just go in there and get nothing but fries and then a fish sandwich.

[Josh Arnold]

And the fact that it was $13.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Josh Arnold]

Also seemed.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, maybe like 25, 24.99. Maybe.

[Josh Arnold]

Bravo, though. They picked Branson and that does seem like the place.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. If you're gonna fake it, that's. That's the way to go. Now we have. Oh, dear. We have something we have to do here.

[Chick McGee]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

And then coming up. Chick McGee, what's happening in the world of sports.

[Chick McGee]

NFL hands out a fine to Jalen Carter. Kyle schwaber hits his 50th for the Phillies. We'll talk about a hooker and track and field. And a 66 year old man is living his dream.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm doing it.

[Chick McGee]

That's right. We'll tell you what he's doing.

[Tom Griswold]

This is a great story.

[Chick McGee]

I know. You do?

[Tom Griswold]

It's really fun.

[Josh Arnold]

I took a child's position. They a kid can't do this because I have.

[Chick McGee]

Because I. And me and my ego. I'm going to do it now. Get out of my way, punk.

[Tom Griswold]

Rough, rough room. The Bob and Tom show is sponsored by Better Help. Better Help is all about accessing therapy with professional therapists. Now, you can talk about your problems or what's what you need to talk about with your friends, of course, but they may be good support for you. But not everybody is a therapist. If you've been thinking about therapy, BetterHelp is an interesting thing because it's a way to access therapy by talking to your therapist online, which makes a lot of sense because it's a lot more convenient. You fill out a short questionnaire. It'll help identify your needs or your preferences. And they've got 10 plus years of experience and they are the industry leader in the world of online therapy. Better Help, it's very convenient, of course, and you can do the therapy like it's a zoom call with a camera going. You can have it just like a phone call. You can even text back and forth. It's up to you. And once again, Better Help is the largest online therapy provider. They've helped millions of people and you could be one of them. And they have a 4.9 out of 5 rating, which is amazing. Better Help, they can provide access of two mental health professionals, by the way, with a diverse variety of fields of expertise. See what I'm talking about? Visit betterhelp.com in fact, I'd suggest going to betterhelp.com BTShow Bob and Tom show listeners get 10% off their first month. And by the way, you can switch therapists anytime. No additional fees are involved. So find the one therapist that's right for you. Betterhelp.com btshow and I'll emphasize that it's Better Help. H e L P BetterHelp betterhelp.com BT show the Baba Time show sponsored by BetterHelp. Coming up, we have interesting things in the world of sports. We also have huge news in the world of ketchup. That's right. That's right, Ketchup.

[Chick McGee]

Now you're talking. Now I'm engaged.

[Tom Griswold]

And I don't know if you guys. Did you guys do the bizarre story about this foot model?

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, this is. This is really very hot. It's weird. Oh, that's all I can tell you. O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios is where we are. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

Want to share something? Send us an email. Bob and tomobandtom.com this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Christy Lee]

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[Tom Griswold]

It'S complete.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Christy Lee at the news desk. Hi, News center. Yeah, there's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

There's Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Hello there.

[Chick McGee]

Ace Cosby. Howdy, I am Chick. And hello, Tom.

[Josh Arnold]

Back and raring to go.

[Tom Griswold]

That's right. I had a little bit of surgery on Monday. I want to thank all those great nurses and doctors and everybody working at the hospital.

[Chick McGee]

Did you have a meal? Did you eat?

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, you get there at least early in the morning and they get you all ready to go and then be offered a meal.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, you're probably full. You ate before the surgery maybe?

[Tom Griswold]

No, I had a huge breakfast.

[Josh Arnold]

What is it? Yeah, Kramer says, oh, you gotta eat before surgery.

[Chick McGee]

Cold? Starving. No, it's. How about. Hang on.

[Tom Griswold]

No, they ask you, they, they go through what's. They literally say to you a couple times. What's the last time you drank anything?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that I had a glass of.

[Josh Arnold]

Water at 7:30 when you're aspirating or anything.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they did a great job.

[Pat Godwin]

How about the iv First? First time.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Boom.

[Pat Godwin]

Or to take a couple times.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, you mean the, the, what is that called?

[Christy Lee]

The iv?

[Tom Griswold]

No. Phlebotomist Fatalist is a stamp collector.

[Josh Arnold]

Please don't stick those on me.

[Tom Griswold]

She was amazing. I did not. I kept going, when are you gonna do it? And it was already in.

[Josh Arnold]

I remember, Pat, you saying that you had one. That was all.

[Chick McGee]

All.

[Pat Godwin]

It's been three times. The last four times I've been knocked.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Pat Godwin]

Three times.

[Josh Arnold]

She went to. Going in for a fourth.

[Pat Godwin]

And you went, yeah, let's find somebody else.

[Christy Lee]

I had to put mine in my hands because I couldn't get it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they did. This was in my hand.

[Christy Lee]

Was it, like, right here?

[Tom Griswold]

And then they go. They go, this is gonna. This is gonna sting a little. And it's nothing, you know? Well, but. Yeah, but thanks to, let's see, Kelsey and Kelly and all the great nurses.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, convenient that you had a Kelly nurse.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, you could.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, Kelly. And it was very handy. Yeah, but, yeah, it was great. They did a tremendous job. But one of the things. I think I might have mentioned this yesterday. They. They ask you, you know, do you drink alcohol? Do you smoke cigarettes? But they also say, the guy goes, did you. Do you smoke marijuana? And I said, no, but he goes, what about gummies? So they've got a new category there.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. I bet it affects the. Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. They gotta know.

[Tom Griswold]

Of course I know. It's. It's just fun. Some of the questions that they have to ask, but they do a great job.

[Chick McGee]

Has that ever happened to you, Pat, that somebody asked you. Hasn't started yet. And they said, oh, are you in? Is that right?

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe a couple times.

[Chick McGee]

It was already in. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I thought.

[Pat Godwin]

Not a man known for my girth.

[Chick McGee]

When you said, you know, tell me when you start putting the IV in. And it was already in and you didn't know.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I see.

[Chick McGee]

I see.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, good, good.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't want to know. I don't want to know any. I don't want to know.

[Pat Godwin]

I need. I need to count down.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, you and I are the exact one.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's like a little pinch.

[Josh Arnold]

You have to watch two chick.

[Pat Godwin]

I got a lot of one.

[Josh Arnold]

Not for me. Just do it.

[Pat Godwin]

That would shock me too much. Gotta know.

[Josh Arnold]

I want zero anticipation.

[Tom Griswold]

I look the other way. Yeah, but it was great.

[Chick McGee]

I think they should give you that. Even when you're just giving blood for whatever reason, they should give you a little relaxer, like they do. Yeah. A little before you get diazepam. That. That's probably why it goes so easily.

[Christy Lee]

Well, you know a lot about this.

[Pat Godwin]

I do. I've done some research.

[Chick McGee]

Is that what you're calling? We're calling. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

You look forward to it, because now that you're sober, it's the closest you get to getting a buzz.

[Chick McGee]

You do.

[Pat Godwin]

You get a little buzz?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, not really.

[Pat Godwin]

Central nervous system. Depressant, much like alcohol.

[Tom Griswold]

I just remember the guy going, okay, I'm gonna get countdown from 10.

[Pat Godwin]

Like, I cried on my last countdown. I was just terrified about going under. And I. I teared up. I was terrified. I thought I was gonna die. I cried. I cried like a baby.

[Chick McGee]

But.

[Christy Lee]

Sorry.

[Josh Arnold]

No, I mean, we can really. We cried too, when we found out everything went okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I'd already claimed the guitars.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know if I'll ever get over it.

[Tom Griswold]

I see. Well, let's. Let's switch gears.

[Chick McGee]

Gear. Bob and Tom show. This is for Tom. This is from Kevin. Tom, did you ever use the aglet kit that you bought? Oh, yes. Or is it still untouched in a drawer somewhere?

[Tom Griswold]

Kevin, thank you very much. That's for a particular jacket that I have a jacket that has a frayed.

[Chick McGee]

I thought an aglo was for your shoestrings.

[Tom Griswold]

No, and for, you know, the hoodie strings.

[Josh Arnold]

You don't like.

[Tom Griswold]

It's the. Yeah, it's this great jacket that I have, and I bought that thing so I could put those aglets. Yes. And I have. It's. It's a kit with a little heating device.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, it is.

[Tom Griswold]

And you put the plastic on there and heat it and it melts and I've. I've got it. You're. Kevin, you're right. I haven't done it yet.

[Christy Lee]

I bet it's in your office.

[Tom Griswold]

It is.

[Josh Arnold]

You'll enjoy it.

[Tom Griswold]

I got to do that before the winter comes and I get that coat.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, before the winter arrives.

[Chick McGee]

Just gotten a new shoelace and.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, it's a. It's a big cord that runs through a coat.

[Chick McGee]

Through the whole coat?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it runs just through the hood. No. Yeah, no, it goes all the way around the waist.

[Pat Godwin]

One of those fancy ski jackets.

[Tom Griswold]

No, it's just a regular.

[Chick McGee]

Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

But that's why I bought it and.

[Chick McGee]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's. It's gonna be a chore that.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, you know, you'll enjoy winterizing your.

[Tom Griswold]

It'll be fun. It's like a DIY project.

[Christy Lee]

There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

I'll feel. I'll feel satisfied.

[Josh Arnold]

Not many say they can fix an aglet.

[Pat Godwin]

No, I don't think anyone.

[Christy Lee]

I can't fix an aglet. Bought new shoelaces yesterday, though.

[Chick McGee]

That's pretty cool. Tell me everything.

[Christy Lee]

I didn't know they had different size shoelaces.

[Josh Arnold]

Of course.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

54, 63, 48. This is the man right here. You gotta. You gotta know how long your laces are.

[Christy Lee]

I had.

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you get them online.

[Christy Lee]

Yep. I got the right size. I was lucky.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, really.

[Chick McGee]

And then you gotta go centimeters too. 120, 140, 160.

[Christy Lee]

They said count the eyes on your shoe.

[Chick McGee]

And seven.

[Tom Griswold]

They're hard to find in person. I tried. I went to Target and then a Walmart and couldn't find them. Nope. Had to go online.

[Chick McGee]

There's nothing worse than being there in person and trying to figure it out.

[Josh Arnold]

Are these for your shoes? Are they for, you know, bed post tying?

[Christy Lee]

No, they're from my shoes. They're actually for a pair of shoes that I'm sending back. So I have to find another pair of shoes.

[Pat Godwin]

What do you use for bed?

[Christy Lee]

Usually the necktie. Yeah, neckties are good.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you do a Windsor knot? When you tie his head to the bed?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Clip ons come off too easy.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

What about the.

[Christy Lee]

Wait a minute. I don't tie his head to the bed.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh no, that's the. That's the best way.

[Josh Arnold]

That's what Tom does. I mean, yeah, yeah. When it comes to the King Factory.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, he knows all.

[Tom Griswold]

I gotta access other things. I don't need the head. Let's get over to.

[Chick McGee]

What about the bees? What about the anal bees?

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, let's. Oh, that's coming up. By the way, we have anal beads. No, we have sex toys and their geographical. How do I word this? What?

[Christy Lee]

Popularity?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. What place is the most popular for particular sex toys?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I see.

[Tom Griswold]

Based on a certain mail order house and where they. Where they send the most of them. Okay, does that make sense? Yeah, we'll get to that coming up. You have another letter over there.

[Chick McGee]

Dear Bob and Tom show. Hey Chick, I'm in love with that sweater you wore yesterday. Morning. Morning. It looks so nice and soft and warm. Will you share where you got it, please? No, I can't. It's from the Chick McGee collection.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

No, it's a Todd Snyder. It looks like something. Once you put it on, you'll never want to take it off. It's true. I have it on under the shirt I'm wearing right now. I. I will be honest. I'm a little warm, but it is. It is cozy. And it has a leather elbow patch.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, it had nice patches.

[Chick McGee]

I didn't know that.

[Tom Griswold]

I got this from Pella, Iowa. Is that the home of the windows?

[Chick McGee]

I must be right.

[Tom Griswold]

Those are some fine windows. From Kyle. He writes, I heard a reference to red light therapy. Does this involve going to a red light district? Just asking.

[Josh Arnold]

No, that's a different kind of red light.

[Tom Griswold]

Therapy.

[Pat Godwin]

It's a good kind.

[Chick McGee]

Well, that's. I think that's a saki sakura. I think.

[Tom Griswold]

What is red light therapy?

[Josh Arnold]

It's. It's literally that. It's. You have. You get. You expose a certain you all you can do your whole body.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

You go into a booth area.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

To red lights. And they help with healing properties, boosting collagen in that area.

[Tom Griswold]

So it doesn't involve picking up street walkers?

[Josh Arnold]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Sorry, Kyle, but unfortunately your wife's not.

[Christy Lee]

Going to buy that.

[Chick McGee]

They discovered the red light therapy. Some hobos had passed out in the street. And when they noticed when the red light traffic light was.

[Josh Arnold]

My shoulder doesn't hurt.

[Chick McGee]

My shoulder doesn't hurt. It's a miracle.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, when I have a hobo with a pack shoulder, they got to hold up their sack of stuff.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah. Cutting around the shoulder.

[Chick McGee]

Can we bring the word hobo back? Can we do everything we can?

[Pat Godwin]

There's been a lot of names like wino, hobo, homeless, even B U m bum. A lot of bad names.

[Tom Griswold]

They're not all the same. No, you can be.

[Josh Arnold]

Hobos are typically by choice. Isn't that what we decided?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. You can be unhoused, as they say.

[Chick McGee]

Would you ride the rails if I could guarantee your safety?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

You guys know that's my. The dream of mine. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I think I would.

[Tom Griswold]

No, thanks.

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Chick McGee]

Why wouldn't you?

[Tom Griswold]

It's freezing.

[Chick McGee]

Well, you wear. You wore that nice jacket.

[Tom Griswold]

I gotta fix the aglets before I get on that train. All right, we're coming Back to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

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[Chick McGee]

I think he's finally lost it. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance news desk. Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

Jess Hooker. Hi. There's Josh Arnold with a question for Tom Ace Cosby. Hello, I'm Chick. Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Josh has a question, and before we get there, we have another hooker in the news.

[Josh Arnold]

We do.

[Tom Griswold]

We have a guy named Hooker in the news, but we'll get to that in just a second. You should question for me, Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

Tom, for the rest of your life, you're allowed to employ only one sexual position.

[Christy Lee]

Oh.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, do you. You know, if you don't want to answer, you don't have to.

[Chick McGee]

There's no question.

[Josh Arnold]

But does something pop into your head where you. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

That's Ivy League style. Okay.

[Christy Lee]

You knew that was.

[Tom Griswold]

Shoes on, pants around the ankles. Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, okay.

[Christy Lee]

Missionary. Come on.

[Jess Hooker]

Well, from behind or from front?

[Christy Lee]

Well, that's a good question.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, you got to go from.

[Tom Griswold]

I think it depends which Ivy League school you're going.

[Josh Arnold]

That's a terrific, good answer.

[Tom Griswold]

I was one of the rare, rare ones at Columbia that went missionary. Quite a bit of buggery.

[Josh Arnold]

Interesting.

[Tom Griswold]

That should be a chapter title. Quite a bit of bugger. Okay. Ms. Hooker. You didn't see this before. You know what this is?

[Jess Hooker]

I do know, because I have those in my car.

[Tom Griswold]

You do?

[Jess Hooker]

I do.

[Josh Arnold]

Medical grade.

[Jess Hooker]

Medical grade. I ordered them. Actually, we travel with them. When. When.

[Josh Arnold]

You know what it kind of looks.

[Jess Hooker]

Like when we're all traveling? I travel with.

[Josh Arnold]

It looks like a sturdier plastic pouch that a newspaper would come in.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, exactly.

[Jess Hooker]

That's true.

[Pat Godwin]

I actually have one in my car. That's when I go to Christie's house for dinner when you invite me over.

[Chick McGee]

You're welcome.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. These are hospital grade barf bags they gave me when I left the hospital. You can do tricks with them? Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Let's see.

[Josh Arnold]

So Tom has two.

[Chick McGee]

I'll tell you what he sings.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm playing soccer with my jugs.

[Chick McGee]

Can you put a hand in there? Make it a puppet? I bet you can.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait a second.

[Pat Godwin]

Are you okay?

[Jess Hooker]

He laughed too hard.

[Josh Arnold]

He hurt himself.

[Pat Godwin]

He just had a surgery. He's really impatient.

[Christy Lee]

Why are your testicles hanging so low?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

Do they hang too low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you time in a knot can you time it?

[Tom Griswold]

It's just all the activity down there with the.

[Chick McGee]

Huh.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Do you have sex while you were in the hospital? No.

[Tom Griswold]

And interestingly enough, I want. And I brought this because I wanted to prove something to you guys.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. I hope so. Y.

[Tom Griswold]

Give me a second.

[Josh Arnold]

All right. You got all the time in the world.

[Tom Griswold]

This is it. This is. This is.

[Chick McGee]

We hear dead Aaron laugh.

[Tom Griswold]

As you can see, this. This is from the hospital.

[Christy Lee]

Your discharge instructions.

[Tom Griswold]

Discharge instructions. And I did not mark this.

[Josh Arnold]

How much discharge do you have highlighted?

[Chick McGee]

I don't want to see your discharge. God, it's almost yellow.

[Tom Griswold]

This was. This was highlighted by the nurse and an amazing woman.

[Chick McGee]

Think she's one of Peabody?

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe an angel. Read the line right there.

[Chick McGee]

Josh.

[Tom Griswold]

Read this line right here. That one where I'm pointing to. This is on the official stationary of the hospital.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay. It says. And this was highlighted by the nurse. You may resume sexual activity after two weeks or as instructed by your physician.

[Chick McGee]

Ah.

[Josh Arnold]

So let's say 11 days passes, and you want to know. Yeah, I'm feeling pretty good, but it hasn't quite been two weeks.

[Tom Griswold]

You gotta call them.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

You could take that into Kelly and go look right now. It says, I can do it right now.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

It's virtually a prescription.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Putting it off for two weeks. That was written. That was met with applause, followed by, maybe it's a little early here. We better back off. But. Yeah, that's an actual instruction. Yeah, that's from the hospital.

[Josh Arnold]

People need to know.

[Tom Griswold]

I think it's because in the case of this hernia thing, you don't want to.

[Jess Hooker]

Has Tom shown anyone else his stitches?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, me.

[Tom Griswold]

They're not stitches. It's glue.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, he showed me the sky.

[Chick McGee]

Did he show them to you? He did.

[Jess Hooker]

As soon as he got here yesterday, I was in the green room, and he showed me. Is there anything surprising about seeing Tom's torso to you that caught you off guard?

[Tom Griswold]

He's got the orange paint.

[Josh Arnold]

No, he has quite the treasure trail.

[Jess Hooker]

That's what I thought I said. You are much more hairy than I.

[Pat Godwin]

Thought you would really think you were hairy.

[Chick McGee]

Your. Your stories of you never getting pubic hair until you were 25. Evidently, you're very hairy.

[Jess Hooker]

I. Yeah, I was.

[Josh Arnold]

I was like, it's not Oscar hairy.

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

You know, but there's. There's one area that's particularly. It's got an. It's a full treasure trail.

[Christy Lee]

Do you have a treasure trail?

[Josh Arnold]

No, mine's more of a. Like some curlies around the hole. Well, those two.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, gut is what he said. What do you have?

[Josh Arnold]

I have. Oh, I have what chick has.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. But you are instructed not to shave yourself.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But then I. I forgot to look at. They did not shave me down there because every. All the activity is a little bit higher where the hernia stuff is.

[Jess Hooker]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

You gotta shave yourself.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that. I had a hernia before, and that didn't hurt at all. This one really hurt. So I'm really glad they were able to attend to it. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

That's great.

[Tom Griswold]

Thanks to all the great doctors.

[Chick McGee]

Great doctors. Amazing.

[Tom Griswold]

It's. I mean, it's in. What they do is incredible. They fill your belly with air and they go into the camera.

[Josh Arnold]

They watch a YouTube video, and they.

[Chick McGee]

Come in a day, they push the button on the robot and they go out and have a cup of coffee.

[Tom Griswold]

Doing Smurf Grandma again.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, you're not standing up now, though.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, he's really making him turn. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

You remember the Smurf? Were you guys into the Smurfs? We were.

[Josh Arnold]

Loved them.

[Jess Hooker]

Saw Smurfs on ice.

[Christy Lee]

I think it's our. We're past the song.

[Tom Griswold]

This may lead to a song. One of the other instructions on here. Josh, you notice that I can't shower for another 24 plus hours, so.

[Chick McGee]

Whatever you say, stinky.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, well, you know, I did a little bit of a hars bath. Yeah, a little bit.

[Chick McGee]

Did you always have a shower at your house when you were growing up? Yeah, man, I did not. And I didn't have central air either. I don't know how I lived to.

[Josh Arnold]

Walk out to the crick.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

They were terrible.

[Chick McGee]

We did everything in that creek. We washed our clothes, we bathed, we had our drinking water.

[Christy Lee]

Got your cooking water.

[Tom Griswold]

When I lived in London, there was no show.

[Chick McGee]

Not Ohio. England.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, England. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

That was no shot.

[Jess Hooker]

Have a handheld? Like, was there a handheld?

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Chick McGee]

Did you go in there, find your sister snuggled up against the nozzle of the tub? Every now.

[Jess Hooker]

All right.

[Chick McGee]

Good morning, Jenny.

[Tom Griswold]

How's England now? So I couldn't shower and I still. I get to shower tomorrow at, like, 4:00'.

[Chick McGee]

Clock. Can we come over? We should have a party.

[Jess Hooker]

Can we live stream?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, come on. We get views.

[Josh Arnold]

We're being serious here. May we watch you shower?

[Pat Godwin]

That's all we're asking.

[Chick McGee]

You want something to go viral, Tom? Shower.

[Pat Godwin]

A million views to go viral.

[Josh Arnold]

Do you sing?

[Tom Griswold]

You can ivory up my gluteal cleft.

[Chick McGee]

I would. I would. I would treasure that with the side of my hand.

[Christy Lee]

I'm with him. Do you sing in the shower?

[Tom Griswold]

I do not.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I do. I sing.

[Tom Griswold]

I sing in the cars sometimes.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Is it a song that has to come on the radio before you start singing?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it does.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. All right.

[Tom Griswold]

Lately, I've been doing some show tunes.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, very nice.

[Tom Griswold]

We have a story that actually, I'm going to tell you. What. What show I want to be in.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

So you're. That dream has not gone away. You still want to be in a Broadway show.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, it'll never happen. But, I mean, there's.

[Chick McGee]

That's. What? That's.

[Josh Arnold]

There's regional theater.

[Chick McGee]

Dreams happen.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I don't have anything resembling little theater, even modicum of the skill set required to portray this particular.

[Josh Arnold]

Is it an August Wilson play?

[Jess Hooker]

Have you been a narrator in a play?

[Tom Griswold]

I've done a narration.

[Pat Godwin]

You know, I do. I didn't mean to interrupt you, but.

[Chick McGee]

Too late for that.

[Pat Godwin]

I do all my best writing in the shower. I don't know if you guys. All my songs are pretty much written in the shower.

[Tom Griswold]

You should shower longer.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Or maybe that explains don't get the paper wet. That's probably. You can't read it.

[Pat Godwin]

It used to be the car. I don't know, Josh. Where do you do your best thinking?

[Josh Arnold]

Shower, car. Both.

[Pat Godwin]

Shower. Car used to be the car. Now it's changed to the shower. And is this the song? Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

This is a song called I Wrote this in the shower.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, nice.

[Christy Lee]

Oh.

[Pat Godwin]

The water's warm and shampoo's nice. Rinse, repeat, yes, do it twice. I wrote this song when I was in the shower It's Sunday morning Calm, laid back can't get the soap out of my crack I spread my cheeks the shower's got some power.

[Josh Arnold]

I wrote.

[Pat Godwin]

A song in the shower it took about an hour it's where I do my thinking and on weekends my day drinking, my iPhone. Alarm went off in the other room Got out too quickly slipped, broke my wrist left a nasty bruise Now I take a long hot bath and hold my arm up because of the cast My ass smells like an aromatic flower no more riding in the shower My guitar gets wet. Did I mention when I slipped I fell on the dog had to take him to the vet I wrote the song in the shower Had a beer and hit the bong that might be why I fell But I have a lovely story song.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, thank you very much. Isn't that really nice? Yeah. Do you ever run out of the shower when you have an idea and grab something to write it down quickly yeah, yeah. Do you. Do you dictate it into your phone?

[Pat Godwin]

Phone. I'm a phone man now. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Can't you do it? Siri. Siri, record this and boom. Right.

[Tom Griswold]

It does that well.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I had no idea. Coming up, we have the new iPhone, is being released in a couple weeks.

[Christy Lee]

You got to get a new one, don't you?

[Tom Griswold]

It depends.

[Jess Hooker]

The thinnest 17.

[Christy Lee]

The air. Yeah. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, there's a couple different ones.

[Chick McGee]

An iPhone, just 17.

[Tom Griswold]

But right now we're going to check in with Chick Mageek. No, we're going to check in with Josh. I forgot.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It's steak time.

[Chick McGee]

It is steak time, baby.

[Josh Arnold]

Tailgating season. My gosh. That means great food, great weather. I love grilling outside in the fall. The smell of juicy Omaha steaks filling the air. Neighbors looking at each other going, who.

[Chick McGee]

Who is that?

[Josh Arnold]

Who's cooking today?

[Chick McGee]

And your juicy gal pal who's doing that?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes. Maybe I have a couple Betty's on the deck with me. It's perfect. Omaha Steaks delivers the world's best steak experience. Enjoy. USDA Certified tender steaks. USDA stands for United States Department of Agriculture. Did you guys know that?

[Pat Godwin]

I did.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, very nice.

[Josh Arnold]

I think that's right. Certified tender steaks. Burgers, cozy and convenient comfort meals, plus tailgating favorites. What are some of your tailgating favorites? Chicken wings.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Smash burgers.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Frank's. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But the hot dogs are unbelievable.

[Josh Arnold]

They are fantastic. Right now during Omaha Steaks Red hot sale event, you can get 50% off site wide at Omaha steaks.com Plus, check this out. An additional $35 off can be yours if you put in the promo code BTS at checkout. Now that's just for Bob and Tom, listeners.

[Pat Godwin]

That's.

[Josh Arnold]

You don't tell anybody else about that. BTS promo code for $35 off. Also, I'm to provide a personal experience. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Although your personal experience, although not part of this campaign, their lasagna is unbelievable.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

It's fantastic.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a side note that definitely falls.

[Josh Arnold]

Into the category of one of their cozy and convenient comfort meals. I always order those, leave them in the freezer until it gets a little chillier than where than a lot of the countries at right now. And man, that is such a great, great meal for the family. Heartland quality food delivered right to your door. It's the perfect time to stock up with the exceptional handcrafted flavor and convenience. It's super easy. Of Omaha Steaks, America's Original butcher since 1917. Get fired up for fall Grilling with Omaha steaks. Visit Omaha steaks.com for 50% off site wide during their red hot sale event. And for an extra $35 off, use promo code BTS at checkout. That's 50% off at Omaha Steaks.com and an extra $35 off with promo code BTS at checkout. See the site for all the details.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's great. Thank you very much, Josh. I called him up, you know.

[Josh Arnold]

You did?

[Tom Griswold]

You should change the name to Omaha Steaks and franks and lasagna.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

And they hung up on me.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, yeah, it's branding.

[Chick McGee]

They must not have known it was you.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they probably didn't pick up on that. Coming up, we have some sporting news. We have weird news. In the world of ketchup, of all.

[Josh Arnold]

Things, it's now being made with grapes.

[Tom Griswold]

We have. We have jelly. And can we come back with my favorites story about the guy that a.

[Chick McGee]

66 year old man is taking some young up and comer spot on the band at a major university because he's self centered and narcissistic.

[Josh Arnold]

So we have a sad story.

[Chick McGee]

It's a really sad story.

[Tom Griswold]

The guy's living his dream.

[Pat Godwin]

Is he a back to school guy or what?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, you'll hear. It's a. It's a great story.

[Chick McGee]

Can't wait.

[Tom Griswold]

Couldn't you. You. You have a dream like this Chick. Can you imagine Chick McGee, man of a certain age suiting up for the Ohio State University?

[Chick McGee]

No, no, no.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, he's. And.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait a minute. They're bringing. They're not bringing an ambulance. They're bringing the hearse out. Saving a step. We are in the O'Reilly Auto.

[Chick McGee]

Funny.

[Tom Griswold]

We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts. The O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Christy Lee]

When did making plans get this complicated? It's time to streamline with WhatsApp, the secure messaging app that brings the whole group together. Use polls to settle dinner plans. Send event invites and pin messages so no one forgets mom. 60th and never miss a meme or milestone. All protected with end to end encryption. It's time for WhatsApp message privately with everyone. Learn [e-mail] hi.

[Chick McGee]

Hey. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Leaker.

[Christy Lee]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

Pat Godwin. Hello. Jess Hooker. Hi. There's Josh Arnold. Hello. Ace Cosby.

[Josh Arnold]

Howdy.

[Chick McGee]

I'm Chick. And hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello, Chick McGee. We're going to head over to The Sports Desk.

[Chick McGee]

How's your belly boy doing?

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. I did want to remind everybody we've got our pick them competition back up and running.

[Chick McGee]

Pigskin. Pick them, baby.

[Tom Griswold]

You want to pick those games. It's a lot of fun. You could win yourself something really nice.

[Chick McGee]

Seven and six after the first week over here. And three pushes. Three. They were right on the number.

[Josh Arnold]

Sweet. Sweet.

[Tom Griswold]

They know what they're doing. The result of your being lucky and being smart could be a nice gift certificate from Stephen Singer Jewelers.

[Chick McGee]

Singer.

[Tom Griswold]

Go to I hate stevensinger.com and just start your shopping now because you could be a big winner. We'll give you some more details and that. Just go to our website, bob&tom.com for more information. But right now we go to. We go to the Sports Desk with a story about a guy fulfilling a dream. I love this story.

[Josh Arnold]

Chick, not as big a fan of this story.

[Chick McGee]

No, no, no, no. We won't talk about the. The NFL or Kyle Schwaber hitting 50 home runs or Aaron Judge passing Yogi Berra on the Yankee all time home run list. We will talk about. A retired accountant has achieved the lifelong dream of joining the Louisiana State Tiger Marching Band. That great Kent Broussard of Baton Rouge had always dreamed of playing tuba for LSU since he was a young child, even before they had tubas. But it seemed as though the opportunity passed when he became an accountant, started a family, and felt as though he'd aged out.

[Christy Lee]

What the hell they do in college? Why didn't he do it while he was in college?

[Chick McGee]

Now retired at the age of 66, Mr. Broussard decided to give it another shot. He went back to school, relearned the tuba auditioned, and to his surprise, he made the cut.

[Tom Griswold]

Isn't that great? There's a picture of the guy.

[Chick McGee]

Look at him.

[Tom Griswold]

He's got the uniform on and everything.

[Josh Arnold]

There's no business being in the.

[Chick McGee]

He has. No. He's taking a child's place in the band. He earned. Awful. It's awful. I don't think he's ashamed of.

[Josh Arnold]

They knew they had a story on that.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, they got a lot of attention.

[Pat Godwin]

Must hurt his back holding the tuba.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, he's got to. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Is he doing the whole season or just one game?

[Tom Griswold]

He's doing the whole thing.

[Josh Arnold]

Wait. Did you honestly think we would just love this?

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Jess Hooker]

No, there's. There's senior citizen marching bands. He could have joined.

[Josh Arnold]

He doesn't do this.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

It was in his dream. My dream, of course, is to play Emil De Beck in the South Pacific.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, is it?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. The problem is I can't sing at all, let alone like that guy. You know that song.

[Josh Arnold]

What's his most famous?

[Tom Griswold]

Emile de Beck's Some Enchanted.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that's the guy. He sings like this.

[Tom Griswold]

They usually cast an opera singer, which I never understood.

[Josh Arnold]

Why does it have to be that nice? It can be just a guy singing, right?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, but it's.

[Tom Griswold]

He's supposed to be a French guy in Polynesia. He's got a. I see. It's, you know, the story of South Pacific.

[Josh Arnold]

It's been years since I.

[Chick McGee]

No, no, hang on a second. Please share. We got timeless during World War II.

[Tom Griswold]

And they're in Polynesia, you see, United States Navy's there. And you're going to wash that man right out of your hair, that whole thing.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, sure. Happy talk.

[Chick McGee]

How many. How many homoerotic scenes are in there?

[Josh Arnold]

It's nothing.

[Chick McGee]

But isn't. Don't they have a big show where the guys. Coconut bra, Coconut bra he dropped. Dresses up like a girl, followed by.

[Josh Arnold]

The hottest circle jerk.

[Tom Griswold]

There is. Nothing like a dame alone on an island. Nothing in the world until the guy puts the coconut bra on and they have the picture.

[Christy Lee]

Kind of explains a lot about Tom's.

[Chick McGee]

There's nothing like the inside of a coconut.

[Tom Griswold]

You wouldn't want to play Emile Dabeck in South Pacific.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know enough of that.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you have any roles you'd like to do? Your dream?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I always wanted to play Oren Scravello in Little Shop of Horrors. He was the dentist.

[Christy Lee]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

There you go. You could still do that.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that'd be a fun role.

[Chick McGee]

Open, please.

[Tom Griswold]

You haven't. You haven't aged out, and you have the skill set to do that.

[Josh Arnold]

I think it'd be fun.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Pat, do you have any dream musical things you'd like to do?

[Pat Godwin]

Well, I had a dream. I wanted to be Puck in A Midsummer's Night Dream.

[Chick McGee]

No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't be embarrassed. You told me one time that you'd like to sing songs on a morning radio show. Remember? That was your dream.

[Pat Godwin]

That was my dream. And then that dream got it. And then I got the dream back.

[Tom Griswold]

Christy, you ever wanted to do something like that?

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Never wanted to be on a play?

[Chick McGee]

Never.

[Christy Lee]

And I was in plays in high school, in junior high. But no, I wasn't a singer. I was just an actress.

[Tom Griswold]

No, but I mean, this. This guy wanted to be in the LSU marching band. He achieved his dream at the age of six.

[Chick McGee]

The story.

[Christy Lee]

But I'm just saying there's a. I wouldn't want to go back. Would you go back to high school?

[Josh Arnold]

Didn't you injure yourself being an equus.

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

Horse.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. I know what it is, Pat.

[Josh Arnold]

You, who would be a great biali in the Producers.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, you think so? As of age?

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Max Bialyshtein.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

That is a great role.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. I think you'd kill it.

[Pat Godwin]

You're right. That is. And that. Who thought that musical would work after the movie was so brilliant and it did.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Musical's hilarious.

[Chick McGee]

There you go. I think it's funny. It was a. It was a movie, then it was a musical, then it was a movie again. And then it was a musical again.

[Josh Arnold]

You know, chick would be.

[Christy Lee]

You could be.

[Josh Arnold]

You would be a good Daddy Warbucks.

[Chick McGee]

Is that right? Shave my head. I'd shave my head. Daddy Warbucks.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Good. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

But keep the beard. I think it's time we have a bearded Daddy Warbucks.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

All right. I. I don't like this shaved head beard look, though. I don't.

[Jess Hooker]

But for that role.

[Josh Arnold]

You look like a character from the Guess who game. Yeah, but which one? Do you remember the game Guess who?

[Chick McGee]

I do. I'm aware of the Guess who game. Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

You would flip up guys and women or whatever, and they all had various.

[Chick McGee]

I wanted to quite. Is he bald? And they have to answer yes or no.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I see. Well, now we can get to real sports. I guess. Now that you've cracked all over that. Great.

[Chick McGee]

No, no, no. I want to know what story you want to hear. That's what we're doing today.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, we are?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, it's an altar.

[Christy Lee]

No, don't tell.

[Josh Arnold]

It's weak. We quest Wednesday.

[Chick McGee]

Well put.

[Tom Griswold]

How about the thing about Jalen Carter getting phone.

[Chick McGee]

Jalen Carter's penalty for spitting on Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott. And let me make this clear. Who we've always all wanted to spit on. Dak Pesca.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

But Jalen beat us to it anyway. Him spitting on Dak Dakota sent a message to the rest of the league. Carter is losing $57,222 for that infraction. The equivalent of his game check for week one. Hang on. It's his rookie deal. That's why it's not really 57,000. Doesn't really sound like that much.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that a tax write off?

[Chick McGee]

Of course, Tom. Yes. Thanks for asking. And because it's a fair question, considers the punishment of one game. Suspense. Time served is what he gets. Ah. He's already been suspended.

[Josh Arnold]

Isn't this a chance for the hawk to a girl to get another 10 minutes she can make a video of her spitting on.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Josh Arnold]

Football players.

[Pat Godwin]

I actually like her.

[Josh Arnold]

I do too.

[Pat Godwin]

I think she's funny in podcasts.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Josh Arnold]

She's like more human than you might.

[Pat Godwin]

Very much.

[Tom Griswold]

She's still out there?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

A little bit. Canceled.

[Chick McGee]

Did she dodge something with bitcoin and.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know how much she had to do with that or not.

[Christy Lee]

I know.

[Josh Arnold]

I honestly don't.

[Jess Hooker]

I don't. Yeah, I think she just kind of scammed herself.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. But this would be a. You know, she should do a fun thing with it.

[Tom Griswold]

But spitting in the NFL? I have a question.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes?

[Chick McGee]

Oh God.

[Tom Griswold]

You know happen to know Ace or Chick? How many of the NFL fields are artificial turf?

[Chick McGee]

I don't know, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a fair question.

[Chick McGee]

I. I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

And if artificial turf. If you spit on them, they get slippery. Doesn't it just stay there?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, I. I think spitting on the field should be.

[Chick McGee]

I think they have special vacuums if you will do. They can clean the field because don't they.

[Tom Griswold]

Aren't those fields embedded with like ground up tires?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So wouldn't they vacuum that up?

[Chick McGee]

That substance you see when they make a cut?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

They get tackled. The little beads.

[Tom Griswold]

Spitting an artificial turf is gross.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I think it's.

[Jess Hooker]

Spitting is gross.

[Tom Griswold]

It's just gonna sit there.

[Josh Arnold]

I feel like when I was a kid playing soccer, if you spit on the field it was some sort of warning or penalty.

[Chick McGee]

No kidding.

[Christy Lee]

I believe that maybe artificial turf is used in 15 NFL stadiums, equally dividing the league between turf and grass surfaces.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, equally.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

But do you see my point, Christy? If you, if you place a hawker on right artificial turf, it's just going to coagulate and sit there.

[Josh Arnold]

Remember when Tiger woods spit on the golf course and the. The announcers couldn't believe it?

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

What a. What a break of decorum it was. And how disgusting an act.

[Tom Griswold]

And remember that movie Broke Pack Mountain where the guy spits?

[Josh Arnold]

That was not only functional but also sexual. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was necessary.

[Tom Griswold]

I see. You ever tried that move?

[Josh Arnold]

Not with a cowboy.

[Tom Griswold]

With an NFL player. Sorry. Back to you, Chip.

[Chick McGee]

Who is the most attractive NFL player right now?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

I nominate the guy on the practice squad for Washington. Sam Hartman. The quarterback for Notre Dame.

[Josh Arnold]

Look more like Sam Hart. Throb, huh?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, he's something else. He's.

[Christy Lee]

He's a good Sam Hartman.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a question for the ladies.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, he's got a beard on him.

[Chick McGee]

He's got a beard and dark hair.

[Josh Arnold]

He did have an answer. Jess. What are you suggesting? In fact, he brought up the topic.

[Chick McGee]

I brought up the topic and I closed on the.

[Tom Griswold]

On the. On the practice squad, no less.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, look at that. Let's see.

[Christy Lee]

He looks very rugged.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a lot of hair, though.

[Josh Arnold]

Kind of a. Yeah. Young, like a. Like James Brolin, Amityville Horror.

[Pat Godwin]

I think ladies like a guy with more thin hair. Not that much hair.

[Chick McGee]

Garoppolo. Garoppolo's a good looking guy.

[Christy Lee]

He's always been cute.

[Chick McGee]

You know who I. What I see in Sam Hartman's eyes?

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Chick McGee]

Forever? That's right.

[Christy Lee]

Very.

[Tom Griswold]

It's very bold of you to make that statement.

[Christy Lee]

He really is cute.

[Jess Hooker]

He looks like the guy on the.

[Chick McGee]

On the.

[Jess Hooker]

Like the evolution of man.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

He'S like two. Before we get to.

[Chick McGee]

To.

[Josh Arnold]

He may be the missing link.

[Chick McGee]

Before he gets. We get to us.

[Christy Lee]

You know what I'm saying?

[Tom Griswold]

Like Australopithecus or something. We're going to come right back. What's coming up in sports?

[Chick McGee]

Baseball, Yogi Bear Schwarby. WNBA Action. And the WNBA mascots. There's a new one. I'm excited. And the flopping dildo. And a cunning array of stunts coming up.

[Tom Griswold]

We are in the Aoto part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

This is the Bob and Tom Show. Reach us toll free at 1-888-bobtom1 [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Does it ever feel like you're a.

[Josh Arnold]

Marketing professional just speaking into the void?

[Tom Griswold]

But with LinkedIn ads, you can know you're reaching the right decision makers. A network of 130 million of them.

[Josh Arnold]

In fact, you can even target buyers.

[Tom Griswold]

By job title, industry, company seniority, skills and.

[Chick McGee]

And. Did I say job title? See how you can avoid the void.

[Josh Arnold]

And reach the right buyers with LinkedIn ads.

[Tom Griswold]

Spend 250 on your first campaign and.

[Josh Arnold]

Get a free $250 credit for the next one. Get [e-mail] Campaign terms and conditions apply.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tob Show. At the SILAC Insurance news desk, it's Christy Lee. Hi, Pat Godwin. Hey, Jess Hooker. Hi. Where'd you get the Bob and Tom mug? Those are cool.

[Jess Hooker]

Do we have these in the kitchen?

[Chick McGee]

In the kitchen.

[Jess Hooker]

This is an old one.

[Chick McGee]

I made them black and white. They're very cool. Like a throwback.

[Josh Arnold]

Looks big.

[Jess Hooker]

This is a 25 year anniversary.

[Chick McGee]

Nice. Very nice.

[Josh Arnold]

I made that. My kiln.

[Chick McGee]

I'm thinking of throwing some pottery. My daughter's taking a pottery class and I'm gonna go with her. See what's going on over there.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, really?

[Chick McGee]

Hey, I'm gonna make everybody ask Unchained Melody.

[Tom Griswold]

Do that ghost thing.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, that'd be weird with your daughter.

[Chick McGee]

Not with my daughter, Tom. No.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

There's Ace Cosby with your little guy. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello, Chick McGee. Now, we were at the sports page. We had that great story about the guy that.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, God.

[Tom Griswold]

Joined the LSU band at the age of 66.

[Josh Arnold]

You know what?

[Tom Griswold]

I've come around living his dream.

[Josh Arnold]

This is a great, great thing.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay? It's fun.

[Josh Arnold]

No, no, I'm serious. I. I really love it.

[Jess Hooker]

What changed your mind?

[Josh Arnold]

I looked at him and I went, you know that guy, he's got moxie.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay?

[Chick McGee]

He.

[Tom Griswold]

He retired from his job as an accountant. And amazing. Can play the tuba now. He's in the band. He could be in the band for the Ohio State University. And he could dot the I in senile.

[Christy Lee]

There you go.

[Jess Hooker]

You think he's picking up college chicks?

[Josh Arnold]

One would hold hope.

[Chick McGee]

All of this.

[Jess Hooker]

Those band girls are crazy.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, you know, this one time at band camp, I had a flute.

[Josh Arnold]

Do you remember seeing. I saw American Pie in the theater the opening night?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

And when she proclaims that that place erupted. Yeah. Because it was a Comes out of the blue. We all lost our mind.

[Christy Lee]

No one expects it.

[Chick McGee]

And her. Her sweet little face. Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

It just.

[Tom Griswold]

That's the beauty of seeing movies in a group.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You don't get that much anymore.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Sorry.

[Jess Hooker]

We should go to the movies. All of us should go to a movie together.

[Christy Lee]

Downton Abbey starts Friday.

[Pat Godwin]

I don't know if Tom would.

[Jess Hooker]

We used to go. We used to do it all the time.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

We used to go to the movies all the time together.

[Josh Arnold]

Are you gonna see Spinal Tap?

[Chick McGee]

What happened to us, Tom?

[Tom Griswold]

I am. I probably will go see Spinal Tap. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

And I think I will too. But lately I've been going, why? Why are they messing with it? Exactly.

[Chick McGee]

Exactly.

[Josh Arnold]

So, I mean, it could be great.

[Tom Griswold]

But those guys are so smart.

[Josh Arnold]

I know.

[Tom Griswold]

They're too smart.

[Josh Arnold]

There's something really cool about not doing anything.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Is it all the same guys?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

The aging robber aspect could be pretty funny.

[Josh Arnold]

Right? Right.

[Tom Griswold]

And they were on something last night. I don't know what it was.

[Josh Arnold]

You're on Kimmel.

[Tom Griswold]

This Kimmel. Okay. Oh, I'll have to watch that. Later, but we get back to the sports page.

[Chick McGee]

Kyle Schwaber hit his 50th home run last night for for the Phillies. He reached that milestone, a three run shot against the Mets last night. He's become one of the most feared hitters in baseball. And he's within reach of the Phillies season record of 58 home runs set by Ryan Howard in 2006.

[Josh Arnold]

Wow.

[Chick McGee]

And Yankees captain Aaron Judge hit his 359th career home run in the first inning last night against the Tigers, breaking a tie with hall of Fame catcher Yogi Berra for fifth place on the Yankees all time list. And that of course reminds us. Yogi isms. Yogi bearers. Famous sayings.

[Tom Griswold]

Apparently incredibly gifted in the.

[Christy Lee]

The manhood department.

[Tom Griswold]

The manhood department.

[Christy Lee]

Oh yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

They don't cover that in the documentary.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I've always heard that.

[Jess Hooker]

He was a short guy too.

[Josh Arnold]

He was, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But apparently at a stout bat.

[Jess Hooker]

All right.

[Chick McGee]

Yogi, of course said these among other wonderful things. It ain't over till it's over over. It's deja vu all over again. Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded. And baseball is 90 mental. The other half is physical.

[Josh Arnold]

So funny.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh great.

[Chick McGee]

And he also said only he were trying to be. Yeah, I know.

[Pat Godwin]

He was not.

[Chick McGee]

He also said one of my. I think this is my favorite. If people don't want to come to the ballpark, how are you going to stop them? So anytime we can slip a Yogi Bear mention into sports, I'm all for.

[Tom Griswold]

And speaking of large male members, we also have Arnold Palmer in the news coming up.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, he's got a hang down.

[Tom Griswold]

Apparently as. As verified by John Feinstein on this show.

[Chick McGee]

Like a 9 one. Oh, wow.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, apparently very gifted in many ways. All right, Mr. Palmer.

[Jess Hooker]

So that's what happened. They name a drink after you when you're got a big.

[Josh Arnold]

That's exactly right.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. All right.

[Tom Griswold]

It's interesting because it's. This is one of those things. It's like mad Madden, right? Madden Football.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

People of a certain age don't realize there really was a great John Madden. Now Arnold Palmer will be remembered by some as just a iced tea with lemonade.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Huge dang.

[Chick McGee]

I've never had that. I've never had an iced tea.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, very good, very good.

[Chick McGee]

But you don't like flavored iced tea. Yeah, you're an enigma wrapped in a riddle.

[Tom Griswold]

But I like Mr. Palmer, therefore.

[Christy Lee]

Well, you like lemon.

[Tom Griswold]

And see him at the meeting.

[Chick McGee]

The big nome.

[Jess Hooker]

Wonder how you're gonna Work that in.

[Josh Arnold]

Tiger hung. Do we know?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, he's gonna be.

[Jess Hooker]

I don't know. She was really mad, so he must have been.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, ask a waitress.

[Chick McGee]

Wnba. Last night, New York, Indiana, Los Angeles, Seattle and Las Vegas all win. And Seattle have unveiled their new mascot. Oh, the Seattle Storm. The mascot's name is Doppler.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, that's a great name.

[Chick McGee]

There. There's Doppler.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, he's a silly monster, isn't he?

[Chick McGee]

And what is that?

[Tom Griswold]

What is Doppler shaped like?

[Chick McGee]

I don't know. As you see on the top. Tom, that is a anemometer.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's clever.

[Chick McGee]

Wind speed.

[Tom Griswold]

That's very funny.

[Josh Arnold]

I like that he has human hands and gloves.

[Christy Lee]

He does. Well, he's got to hold on to things.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Can I say, I don't like the monster mascots. Like, I want a real. Like, I want a horse or a bull.

[Josh Arnold]

Really?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

You don't want to hug that guy.

[Jess Hooker]

No. Gyrate.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't like bellies.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I don't like that.

[Tom Griswold]

But the hands are creepy. It's like that episode of Was the Twilight Zone where the guinea pig has human hands at the end. It was so creepy.

[Chick McGee]

I don't remember that.

[Tom Griswold]

It might be Outer Limits. Yeah, you're super as a kid. Just totally creeped me.

[Chick McGee]

How did they do that? A guinea pig with human hands?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, God.

[Josh Arnold]

Richard Gere would like.

[Christy Lee]

Didn't they do that in what we do in the Shadows? They had an episode where the animals and the people started mixing together.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

The island of Dr. Moreau.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's so good.

[Chick McGee]

The other mascots in the wnba. The Connecticut sun has Blaze. That's, of course, that giant ball of fire that hurts some of the kids. I don't know about that. The Dallas Wings has lightning. I don't know why. I'm not sure. Golden State Valkyries has. They have Violet.

[Josh Arnold]

Violet the Valkyrie.

[Chick McGee]

No, Violet the Raven.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, okay.

[Chick McGee]

All right. There, there.

[Tom Griswold]

She's hot.

[Josh Arnold]

She's hot.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, she's cute.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, that's really cute.

[Josh Arnold]

Especially when she takes those glass. Those glasses.

[Tom Griswold]

That's like a big. Like a Muppet stripper.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I like that. I like Ellie, too. She plays Ellie.

[Chick McGee]

Ellie the Elephant of New York. Libert.

[Josh Arnold]

He has led.

[Chick McGee]

Elephant. Also hot.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, real hot.

[Chick McGee]

But they're calling the Valkyries hip hop, too. Violet the Raven. Some are calling her Quoth.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, quoth the Raven.

[Tom Griswold]

Nevermore.

[Chick McGee]

Never. You're. You okay with that? Las Vegas Aces has buckets.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And the S in buckets is a Dollar sign.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, she got buckets.

[Chick McGee]

They're in Vegas. She might have a huge buckets.

[Josh Arnold]

Dead buckets.

[Chick McGee]

Los Angeles Sparks has a dog mascot. There you go. There, see? And his name is Sparky. Los Angeles Sparks.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Sparky. Minnesota Links has prowl proud.

[Josh Arnold]

The links.

[Chick McGee]

Links. It's a guy in a cat suit.

[Tom Griswold]

I would have gone with like a golf motif.

[Josh Arnold]

Links or sausages. Like four mascots.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Stuck together.

[Tom Griswold]

That, that'd be perfect.

[Chick McGee]

There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

That's much funnier.

[Chick McGee]

They could have the sausage race at halftime.

[Josh Arnold]

I love those.

[Chick McGee]

That'd be fun. On. Let's see. Phoenix Mercury has scorch. Larry Scorch.

[Josh Arnold]

That is silly.

[Tom Griswold]

From f. True.

[Chick McGee]

No. Okay. And then Washington Mystics has a dog too. I think it packs. Okay. Packs. That means PX.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Pax means peace.

[Chick McGee]

Correct. Peace. Piece of ass. No, no, not. 69 year old track and field athlete has been sanctioned after testing positive for steroids.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, you're out of here.

[Chick McGee]

The U. S. Anti Doping Agency, usada. This is different from the World Anti Doping Agency.

[Tom Griswold]

Doesn't usada. Doesn't USADA sound like something you'd get at a Mexican restaurant? I'd like the USADA with bento beans.

[Josh Arnold]

And a glass of water.

[Tom Griswold]

Bento beans?

[Chick McGee]

Michael Hooker of Nashville, Tennessee.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, I know Mike.

[Chick McGee]

Tested positive for mest master olone, a synthetic testosterone at the track and field masters outdoor championships this summer. The agency USADA said that he was banned for three years.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a lifetime.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, nice.

[Chick McGee]

That's not funny.

[Christy Lee]

And you shouldn't be throwing stones there.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait a second. How old is he?

[Chick McGee]

You're stretching the envelope right now.

[Christy Lee]

And he only has three year suspension.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I think it's. Yeah, I mean I think any substance that he can take at his age to keep from soiling himself while running is certainly. Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

What is it? Yeah, can you can go to college for free after 80? Is that a thing?

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

What?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

At a certain age they offer you college for free.

[Pat Godwin]

That's a great idea.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. So I think for some of these things, you should get to be able to do drugs at a certain age and not get around arrested or in trouble.

[Chick McGee]

Patton Oswald says during his stand up, if you reach the age of 100, you can commit murder legally. Ah, I wouldn't mind that. I. I'd stick around till I was 100 just to.

[Tom Griswold]

Just to get a couple folks clean house.

[Chick McGee]

I got a list. I got a big list. Where did I put that other story? I just had it. Oh, here it is. Now Stupid world.

[Tom Griswold]

So wait a second. This guy got nailed for. For Mistoffeles. What was he taking again?

[Chick McGee]

Some steroids, Synthetic testosterone.

[Tom Griswold]

I. I did read that. To get the urine sample, they just took a pair of his shorts.

[Josh Arnold]

He's a dribbler man.

[Chick McGee]

That's a good joke. One day just gave me the underwear. And you got feces and urine.

[Tom Griswold]

Remember that?

[Chick McGee]

That's a fine joke. A stunt rider from the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia has broken the Guinness World Record for the greatest distance travel on a motorcycle. Wheelie held by his mouth.

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Chick McGee]

His mouth while controlling his bike just by biting the handlebar.

[Tom Griswold]

Insane.

[Jess Hooker]

So weird.

[Chick McGee]

Ahmed, that's his name, Othman. Rode a wheelie for a total of 984ft and 3 inches to achieve the feet. Guinness noted that the. Ahmed was in the precarious position of just under a minute. Minute it took him to travel that far.

[Josh Arnold]

Weird.

[Chick McGee]

Biting the handlebar, holding.

[Tom Griswold]

He's doing a wheelie.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

On a motorcycle. Holding the handlebar with his teeth. There it is.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, that's great. What the heck?

[Tom Griswold]

Come on. They call him. They call him. They call him. Dental canal.

[Josh Arnold]

It looks miserable.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, it does.

[Jess Hooker]

That's weird.

[Christy Lee]

Well, he's not. Okay, here we go.

[Tom Griswold]

He's standing up and balanced and it's on one wheel.

[Josh Arnold]

Can't be easy.

[Chick McGee]

No. All right.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, that's great.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

You win.

[Josh Arnold]

You did it, sir.

[Chick McGee]

He did that.

[Josh Arnold]

Go back to stoning women or whatever.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Go back to censoring the press.

[Tom Griswold]

I thought they didn't allow records. That could kill you.

[Christy Lee]

Well, that wouldn't kill you.

[Tom Griswold]

You could get some road rats if you fell off.

[Jess Hooker]

No, he's got a helmet. He's all right.

[Christy Lee]

He could get some road ray. It wouldn't necessarily be telling me.

[Chick McGee]

Telling people to answer the phone for a year, probably.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah. You'd be breathing through a tube.

[Chick McGee]

Little dinghy.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, is that. Does that complete our sports broadcast?

[Chick McGee]

It sure does.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up. What's coming up in the news?

[Christy Lee]

Christy Lee, better not skip that breakfast. It could have a lot of impact later on in life. Ketchup in the news in a very interesting way. And we have some very fine statistics about adult toys and where they're sold.

[Chick McGee]

Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

And who buys them. Okay. I will look forward to that, certainly. And thank you for joining us. We remain in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

Thanks for listening. Portions of the show brought to you by Champion Windows. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Christy Lee]

Tito's handmade vodka is America's favorite vodka for a reason.

[Jess Hooker]

From the first legal distillery in Texas, Tito's is six times distilled till it's just right and naturally gluten free, making.

[Christy Lee]

It a high quality spirit that mixes with just about anything from the smoothest.

[Jess Hooker]

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[Christy Lee]

Tito's is known for giving back, teaming.

[Jess Hooker]

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[Christy Lee]

Communities and do good for dogs. Make your next cocktail with Tito's, distilled and bottled by 5th Generation Inc. Austin, Texas. 40% alcohol by volume.

[Jess Hooker]

Savor responsibly.

[Tom Griswold]

Win some nice stuff.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance news desk. How you do, Pat Godwin. Hello. There's Jess Hooker. Hi. Hello. Josh Arnold. Hello. There's Ace Cosby. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. I'm Chick and I have something in my eye. There's Tom.

[Christy Lee]

It's an eyeball.

[Tom Griswold]

And coming up, it's very funny. You'll be making your sports picks tomorrow.

[Chick McGee]

They're up on Instagram. Sneak peek, the Chick McGee. They're all there.

[Tom Griswold]

And you can make your picks. We got our pigskin thing back up and running. Thank you to Steven Singer Jewelers. You could win a nice $500 gift certificate from Steven Singer. So go to bob and tom.com and get that organized. Get it up and running. Make your picks. You don't have to worry about the spread or nothing. It's that simple. Have some fun. Right now we go to the Silac Insurance news desk with Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Speaking of fun, there are a lot of folks out there who find adult toys. Fun and love. Honey. An adult toy site has collected data from across the country about what people are purchasing.

[Josh Arnold]

All right.

[Christy Lee]

All right. And where appears that Somerville and Cambridge, Mass. That would be Massachusetts. Buy the most sex toys per capita.

[Josh Arnold]

Is that right?

[Christy Lee]

Yep.

[Chick McGee]

Huh.

[Christy Lee]

Cambridge. Is that where Harvard is?

[Tom Griswold]

Mit Harvard?

[Christy Lee]

Sure. Spring, Texas. Not familiar with geographical location of spring?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that's in. In.

[Christy Lee]

In Texas, they buy the most costumes. Oh, with the French maid coming in first.

[Chick McGee]

Really?

[Josh Arnold]

Still. I'm glad that's still popular.

[Chick McGee]

You can't beat the classics.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, no?

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

You think so?

[Pat Godwin]

Very nice.

[Christy Lee]

You don't like the French maid?

[Josh Arnold]

I like it.

[Christy Lee]

Well, you had a maid that dressed so you. Oh, you probably have some.

[Chick McGee]

You remember Tom's maid, don't you? That side. My name is Paula.

[Christy Lee]

She was a German maid.

[Chick McGee]

A little different.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, she wore a.

[Chick McGee]

She was from Germany. My name is Paula. Oh, Tommy, it's time for your shower.

[Tom Griswold]

She didn't wear anything sexy.

[Christy Lee]

She didn't and it.

[Tom Griswold]

And she was built like a sausage girl.

[Chick McGee]

Sausages. Your schwarztalker is gigantic.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. By the time. By the time I put it this way. She worked for mine for my dad when he was a kid.

[Christy Lee]

Oh boy.

[Josh Arnold]

And he.

[Chick McGee]

Was. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

She didn't wear like a sexy French mage.

[Chick McGee]

I finally have an ending for this. And Tommy, I am your mama.

[Christy Lee]

That's why there was such a 10 year age G.

[Tom Griswold]

The what? They don't say what's in second place behind the French maid.

[Christy Lee]

No, it doesn't say.

[Josh Arnold]

And the Frenchman probably cheer Colleen camp in the movie clue is French made.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Colleen just spilling out.

[Jess Hooker]

Christy, did you ever do the French maid thing?

[Christy Lee]

No, I never did. No.

[Jess Hooker]

Did you ever dress up for a guy?

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Chick McGee]

Not even in the cheerleaders?

[Jess Hooker]

She dressed up as a cheerleader here.

[Christy Lee]

I did. I dressed up as a cheerleader.

[Tom Griswold]

How about you, Ms. Hooker? You brought it up. Did you ever dress up for anybody?

[Jess Hooker]

I did the French maid thing when I was a bartender in college for Halloween. Yeah, I have that.

[Josh Arnold]

I dressed up as a French maid.

[Chick McGee]

One.

[Christy Lee]

You did.

[Jess Hooker]

That's right. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. I can send you guys that picture.

[Pat Godwin]

You have a picture?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a site called. I'm not going to tell you what the name of it the site address but it's Leg Avenue.

[Christy Lee]

Big in the Halloween department.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

They're the go to.

[Chick McGee]

They have the fairy princess. They have. These are all just put sexy in the front. In front of Sexy fairy princess. Sexy clown. Yeah. Sexy armed forces.

[Tom Griswold]

Sexy. Sexy hospice worker.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Sexy sanitation. Sexy hospice worker.

[Chick McGee]

Oh my God.

[Josh Arnold]

Just a tray for carrying a tray full of half eaten food.

[Chick McGee]

More.

[Pat Godwin]

More morphine, Mr. Morgan.

[Chick McGee]

Sexy bunny rabbits. Sexy. It looks like she's wearing lederhosen and serving beer.

[Christy Lee]

I am so not fun. I don't like dressing up for Halloween. Never have. I don't like it.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm uncomfortable.

[Chick McGee]

I don't get Halloween.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my kids love it and I just don't understand.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, sexy, sexy pirate.

[Josh Arnold]

I want you to look at the costume that I once wore and you tell me if I should do it again.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh my God.

[Josh Arnold]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Josh is a French made the classic black frock.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Apron. You know what I'm concerned most with in that picture is your choice of facial hair. I don't know.

[Josh Arnold]

You know, that was kind of popular. Was it okay.

[Christy Lee]

Like a king touch Josh or Jeff's.

[Jess Hooker]

Picture from the other day?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

What is that? Is that a goatee? What's happening.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, it's like a very. A lighter mustache and soul patch and then a full. Are you at goatee? Are you at work? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I worked in the mailroom at Rolling Sporting Goods.

[Pat Godwin]

Like the female room.

[Josh Arnold]

So that was Halloween day there. So you got. I got my very bold.

[Tom Griswold]

You've got stockings on.

[Christy Lee]

Very nice day.

[Pat Godwin]

You're in that. You spent the whole day in that.

[Josh Arnold]

And I'm wearing a. Yes.

[Christy Lee]

Did you wear high heels too?

[Josh Arnold]

No, I wore grossly my Doc Martens.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, man.

[Christy Lee]

Doc Martens don't ever go out of style.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, but it was just gross. With a French made out.

[Tom Griswold]

A bold move. Very good.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. But my supervisors weren't thrilled.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, really?

[Tom Griswold]

So once again, we have. These are the adult toys that sold the most and where they sold them.

[Christy Lee]

San Diego apparently buys the most handcuffs.

[Chick McGee]

Wow, that makes sense. I thought you were going to say jobs instead of cuffs.

[Christy Lee]

Seattle buys the most condoms.

[Josh Arnold]

Really?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. That's weird. Brooklyn, New York, the most likely to buy XL condoms.

[Chick McGee]

Whether they need them or not.

[Christy Lee]

I bet Massachusetts, they got a lot going on there. They buy the most dildos, apparently, per capita. Yeah. Denver, Colorado purchases the highest number of gags per capita.

[Jess Hooker]

I wonder if in Massachusetts, that is. Do you think there's a lot of single people maybe. And that would be.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, they sell a ton of vibrators. I guess that's why they call it Beantown.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you very, gentlemen.

[Pat Godwin]

Judges rule.

[Chick McGee]

Josh Arnold, Vermont buys.

[Christy Lee]

I'm sorry, go ahead.

[Chick McGee]

Have you ever had a ball gag in your mouth, Josh?

[Josh Arnold]

I never have.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

No.

[Christy Lee]

Have you?

[Josh Arnold]

I have neither people have requested listeners to the show.

[Chick McGee]

Tom, have you ever. No, no.

[Jess Hooker]

Nobody would admit.

[Josh Arnold]

I wouldn't turn me on to be ball gagged?

[Chick McGee]

No, I don't think so. Or it wouldn't turn me on to ball gag someone. I don't think.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. No, that means something else can't go in there.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Pat Godwin]

Or there's no chatter.

[Josh Arnold]

That's not a hole I want obstructed.

[Christy Lee]

Well, on that.

[Chick McGee]

Is that right?

[Christy Lee]

Annapolis, Maryland buys the most bondage products.

[Josh Arnold]

Annapolis, Maryland?

[Christy Lee]

Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

Or the.

[Chick McGee]

Isn't the Naval Academy better or something?

[Christy Lee]

Sure is.

[Josh Arnold]

They love it.

[Chick McGee]

Huh.

[Christy Lee]

Manhattan buys the most chastity devices.

[Josh Arnold]

You know what that tracks? Probably a lot of like stock brokers and men of industry love. They're never told no. And they've got.

[Jess Hooker]

I wonder what the major religious affiliation is there too. Like if there's Catholic.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

So maybe that's another reason.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know.

[Christy Lee]

Vermont buys the biggest dildos at 7.03 inches.

[Josh Arnold]

Just size.

[Christy Lee]

Queensland, South Dakota buys the smallest. Not much of a difference though. 6.42 inches. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, that's.

[Jess Hooker]

That's small.

[Pat Godwin]

That's huge.

[Christy Lee]

The smallest dildo, apparently you can get. Ypsilanti, Michigan buys the most sex dolls.

[Josh Arnold]

How strange. Now this is all per capita, so.

[Christy Lee]

Right, right.

[Tom Griswold]

And this is.

[Christy Lee]

And that's according to one. This is.

[Tom Griswold]

This is the place where they ship. They ship these products to these places.

[Christy Lee]

Miami, Florida purchases the most monster shaped dildos.

[Chick McGee]

Monsters, they're out there, man.

[Josh Arnold]

You got your tentacles. Yeah, I'm not like dragons.

[Chick McGee]

Is it from a monster?

[Josh Arnold]

You can buy like unicorn horn. You can buy like a dragon's toe.

[Tom Griswold]

Like you can buy frankenshlong.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know if it'll, you know, if they have like the Karloff and it looks like Frankenstein's head or if it's just a dildo with two bolts on the side.

[Chick McGee]

Nice.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Pat Godwin]

Sexy.

[Chick McGee]

I got hurt.

[Christy Lee]

Irvine, California purchases the most realistic vaginas.

[Josh Arnold]

Sorry, I just coughed. Instead of hitting the button to turn off my mic, I just turned my headphones down.

[Christy Lee]

That's okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, so you didn't have to hear. Yeah, no, there's a.

[Josh Arnold]

Sorry about that.

[Christy Lee]

I don't know what's going on in Portland, but they buy the most strap ons.

[Jess Hooker]

All right.

[Christy Lee]

And Chicago purchases the most penis molding kits. Oh, this is interesting. If you stacked up all the dildos that love honey sold in the u. S. Huh. The total insertable length would be 15, 926ft.

[Josh Arnold]

Enough to go to the moon.

[Christy Lee]

Equivalent to 51.3 statues of liberties.

[Chick McGee]

Isn't that like three miles, 15,000ft, right? 5,000.

[Jess Hooker]

You guys, I just looked up the monster shaped dildos and there are. You're right. The dragon and the. And the tentacles and all the this. But there is one that is a suction cup.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Jess Hooker]

And it look, it is completely covered as if it was a corn cob.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, lovely.

[Josh Arnold]

So that might be like a scarecrow in the.

[Chick McGee]

In the shape of a. Oh my goodness. A guy. But it's an ear of corn.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, dear.

[Jess Hooker]

Even you can really shut yourself. Even the testicles.

[Chick McGee]

The testicles look like bits.

[Christy Lee]

That's sexy, isn't it? Who has a scarecrow fantasy Midwesterner Or a cornflake fantasy?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Gotta be a real ho ho ho to enjoy a green giant.

[Chick McGee]

There it is. Look at the suction cup on the end of that.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, they call it the colonel.

[Chick McGee]

Josh Arnold again, ladies.

[Christy Lee]

And to wrap up our Story in The United States 371,200 ounces of lube were purchased Lube the amount of lube fill over 74 person hot tubs we don't how many 74 person hot tub.

[Josh Arnold]

Full of lube Lube.

[Chick McGee]

You can use lube for other oh.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, you can use it for that's.

[Jess Hooker]

The only way you should intercourse have.

[Tom Griswold]

Sex in a hot tub that doesn't include Diddy's parties.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Right now it's time to check in with prize picks because the NFL season once again week two begins tomorrow night.

[Chick McGee]

That's right. Prize picks and football season college pro. It's back. Every day we make choices but on price picks being right can get you paid millions of users billions of dollars awarded in winnings. Prize picks the best place to put your takes to the test. The app from prize picks so simple to use. Just pick two or more players across any sport. Pick more or less on their projections and if you're right you could win big with simple stats user friendly policies. Prize picks the most fan friendly app to make your picks all transactions on the app are fast, safe and secure. Do not miss any of the action this season with prize picks. It's good to be right. Download the prize picks app today. Use the code tom and get $50 bonus credit instantly in lineups when you play. $5. That's code tom on prize picks. $50 bonus credit instantly in lineubs when you play $5 win or lose 50 bucks bonus credit in lineups just for playing guaranteed prize picks. It's good to be right. Must be present in certain states. Prizepix.com for restrictions and details.

[Josh Arnold]

Tom, did you see the the sex toy here? It looks like an ear of corn, but it's meant to simulate oral given to a man. Oh, it's called the BJ Cobb.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a. It's a. It's a I believe that's Lee J. Death of a salesman joke. I believe is where that's going.

[Chick McGee]

Hell of a an actor. Very nice.

[Tom Griswold]

What's coming up Christy Lee Coming up.

[Christy Lee]

We have stinky feet in the news. We have Apple unveiling a new iPhone and the air tag.

[Josh Arnold]

Do foot fetishes want fetishists want their.

[Chick McGee]

I think some do some personal choice.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, we'll talk about personal choices.

[Tom Griswold]

It's all, it's all coming Tom.

[Josh Arnold]

He's the world's.

[Chick McGee]

Here.

[Tom Griswold]

Of course we are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom.

[Jess Hooker]

Attention all small biz owners at the UPS store You can count on us to handle your packages with care with our certified packing experts. Your packages are properly packed and protected and with our Pack and Ship guarantee. When we pack it and ship it, we guarantee it because your items arrive safe or you'll be reimbursed. Visit the upsstore.com guarantee for full detail. Most locations are independently owned. Products, services, pricing and hours of operation may vary.

[Christy Lee]

See center for details. The UPS Store. Be unstoppable.

[Jess Hooker]

Come into your local store today.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. There's Christy Lee in her peace hoodie.

[Christy Lee]

Peace, man.

[Chick McGee]

Peace man. There's.

[Christy Lee]

What are you doing?

[Pat Godwin]

Shaking it off. Shaking it off.

[Christy Lee]

Shaking.

[Chick McGee]

Pat Godwin. Shaking it off. Off.

[Christy Lee]

Bad vibes.

[Pat Godwin]

I'll get loose and limber.

[Chick McGee]

Let's move into the music. There's Jess Hooker.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello.

[Josh Arnold]

There's Josh Arnold with something that may upset all of you regarding the green room.

[Christy Lee]

All right.

[Josh Arnold]

I know. I know what has upset me. There's Ace Cosby and I believe Tom is the cause.

[Chick McGee]

I'm Chick.

[Tom Griswold]

I wasn't even in there.

[Chick McGee]

I have no doubt.

[Christy Lee]

Not this time, but.

[Chick McGee]

Hello, Tom? Josh, what's going on?

[Josh Arnold]

Christie was there when I discovered I.

[Tom Griswold]

Was not in the green room.

[Christy Lee]

I know.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, you are a fan of stir stick, right? The wooden stir sticks like this?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes. I also like them.

[Chick McGee]

You always have two in your hand, at least at any time.

[Josh Arnold]

And occasionally you'll chew on them, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

No, you don't chew on stir sticks.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I will occasionally lick the foam off of them.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, okay.

[Christy Lee]

This is even more disturbing.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't chew them ever.

[Christy Lee]

Well, wait a minute.

[Josh Arnold]

Don't ever chew the stir stick.

[Chick McGee]

No. Okay.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, then I take it back. This couldn't have been you.

[Christy Lee]

You're gonna want to need. You're gonna have to buy all new stir sticks.

[Chick McGee]

Somebody's been chewing on him.

[Josh Arnold]

I reached in to get a brand new stir stick from Tom's stir Stick cylinder.

[Christy Lee]

Yep.

[Josh Arnold]

And I pulled out what appears to be. No, a chewed on stir stick. It was as though somebody were chewing on it.

[Pat Godwin]

It's all taped.

[Chick McGee]

Are you sure?

[Jess Hooker]

Because when they ship, sometimes they get.

[Josh Arnold]

Bent and I mean, these look like teeth marks.

[Chick McGee]

It moist?

[Pat Godwin]

Is it moist?

[Chick McGee]

So someone chewed that and put it.

[Tom Griswold]

But I use a different brand.

[Jess Hooker]

Those are Tom's. He keeps his, too.

[Tom Griswold]

I have my own over here. As you can see, these are sand and they're rounded. This is a more sophisticated stir.

[Chick McGee]

That is.

[Josh Arnold]

That is.

[Tom Griswold]

This is the Rolls Royce of stir sticks.

[Josh Arnold]

I thought maybe absentmindedly, you were chewing on one.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't chew with them either.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

This is from the. How many did you pull out any other corporation?

[Josh Arnold]

I did, and this is the only one.

[Chick McGee]

Like, how many stir sticks are in that decanter?

[Tom Griswold]

Thousand.

[Chick McGee]

A thousand.

[Josh Arnold]

You see, I'm a stir stick chewer. Be. It would be a plastic.

[Pat Godwin]

I would be if I had one.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. I'm a toothpicker.

[Pat Godwin]

I chew these. My picks.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. My plectrum. Did you say you're a toothpickman?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

That's a man who chews on toothpicks.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Josh Arnold]

I also, every now and again, a piece of hay.

[Tom Griswold]

Or how about your pillow at your home? Is your. Is your mirror covered in dental floss? Dropping detritus if you want.

[Josh Arnold]

When that happens, I clean the mirror, but a lot of times it goes right into the sink for me.

[Chick McGee]

Nice.

[Tom Griswold]

You go to somebody's house, they've got other. You can tell they've been flossing in there.

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

It looks like succotash on them.

[Christy Lee]

Clean their mirror.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I know.

[Chick McGee]

That's cleaner. Friends.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, a couple quick things on a serious note. Rocky laporte's a terrific comedian, a friend of the show, and he was in a very serious accident. And there's a GoFundMe. Oh, my campaign for Rocky out there. Terrific guy. And I just found out about this, so I don't have any. Any audio to play of Rocky. I'll dig some up for you. But just a great comedian and family man. Good guy, sweetheart. You can find him on. On GoFundMe. Also, comedian Mike Armstrong is dealing with some real serious health issues. And there's also a fund set up for him. And I'll get a link to those both set up. Just give me a few hours. I'll get that done.

[Josh Arnold]

We wish them the best.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, certainly.

[Jess Hooker]

I'll share that stuff on social media.

[Tom Griswold]

Great. Two very funny guys. Okay, now, on a much lighter note, we turn to Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance news desk. What's happening?

[Christy Lee]

People magazine is reporting this story. A Florida foot model who sells her stinky old sneakers says she's lucky to be alive after a disgruntled client, Josh, ran her over.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, this is terrible.

[Christy Lee]

The unnamed woman told police she met the suspect, Mr. Elman Circle, on the site known as seeking.com and had agreed to meet with the man at a hotel.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, so wait a second. So right away. Right away. I assume. Seeking.com, you're looking for weirdos that want to do something.

[Christy Lee]

I don't know what you're seeking. Maybe seeking.com is yours. You can seek anything.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. This guy is seeking a smelly footed mom.

[Chick McGee]

Why are they weirdos?

[Tom Griswold]

Because he wants to smell somebody's shoes.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, everybody's got their thing.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a weirdo thing.

[Chick McGee]

Odd that you won't only have coitus for reproduction. You might think that's weird.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Once at the hotel, yes. She rejected his request to smell her feet, but agreed to sell him some old sneakers for a thousand dollars.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, let's stop right there. You're meeting some guy named El Monsi, whatever the hell his name is. At a hotel.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Already weird.

[Josh Arnold]

Don't blame the victim here.

[Jess Hooker]

She's just trying to run a business.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Would you. Would you. If you got a letter from somebody.

[Chick McGee]

And said, hey, a thousand bucks.

[Tom Griswold]

I want to give you a thousand dollars for your panties. Will you meet me at a hotel?

[Jess Hooker]

My panties. But my shoes. I would.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

100 at a hotel without.

[Tom Griswold]

Without a. Without a cop.

[Christy Lee]

Or.

[Josh Arnold]

I was gonna say. Or even a friend.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I would. I would definitely take a spotter.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. When he ran out, the woman gave chase, thinking he had stolen from her. She found the man in the parking garage where he allegedly ran her over before. Before fleeing the scene. Police arrested the suspect on a charge of aggravated battery.

[Tom Griswold]

So they got off on the wrong foot.

[Josh Arnold]

They sure did.

[Tom Griswold]

These two.

[Jess Hooker]

He got off on something.

[Chick McGee]

That's very good. I thought you were going to say he was pleasuring himself in the parking garage.

[Tom Griswold]

How would you. Also, by the way, for those that are into this sort of thing. How would you know that you're not getting just. You know, that the lady stopped at Goodwill on the way to the.

[Jess Hooker]

She has to send a picture of her wearing them.

[Tom Griswold]

The. Wearing the shoes. Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

And she has to smell them up. Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

You got to sweat in them. You got to walk in them.

[Chick McGee]

I gotta. Yeah. If they send me a thousand bucks, I'll. I'll. I'll pay postage and send it back to you. That's fine. Yeah, let's do this.

[Tom Griswold]

But. So she agrees to meet this weirdo in a hotel, and she doesn't want to let him smell her feet.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. I wonder.

[Jess Hooker]

But maybe some. Something transpired.

[Tom Griswold]

There's. There's got to be more to this.

[Josh Arnold]

He may have been way creepier there. Expected.

[Tom Griswold]

Because he's a weird weirdo.

[Chick McGee]

He might have had this voice. You never know.

[Josh Arnold]

Tom, I. I guarantee one of your friends.

[Chick McGee]

Yep.

[Josh Arnold]

Has some Wild fetish.

[Pat Godwin]

Josh, be quiet.

[Josh Arnold]

And you're none the wiser. And they're.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. Certainly.

[Josh Arnold]

They're not weirdos.

[Chick McGee]

Do you still consider Pat a friend of yours? Of course.

[Pat Godwin]

We've.

[Christy Lee]

He's not a dependent at times.

[Tom Griswold]

Although a chick is. Right. I do get to write him off on my taxes.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

All right.

[Pat Godwin]

That's good for me.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't mind a foot, but I don't want it smelling.

[Jess Hooker]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Anytime you're being asked to meet someone in a hotel room for this. This whole thing is odd.

[Josh Arnold]

It is an odd thing.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, well, we go from butt or from feet sniffing to butt sniffing.

[Josh Arnold]

All right.

[Christy Lee]

A man known as a serial butt sniffer has been arrested again in California.

[Tom Griswold]

That's my favorite foreigner.

[Chick McGee]

This poor guy. Butt sniffer.

[Tom Griswold]

Butt sniffer.

[Chick McGee]

Butt sniffer.

[Christy Lee]

Bank police told KNBC that Mr. Kise Crowder was taken into custody after allegedly sniffing a woman's behind inside a Walgreens.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

I did it. I like it.

[Christy Lee]

Authorities said they were. They knew where to locate Mr. Crowder and arrested him nearby without incident.

[Josh Arnold]

They knew where to locate him. He was standing behind some woman.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

38 year old, has a history of similar behavior, and he was most recently arrested back in July.

[Chick McGee]

So.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, he knows what he likes.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

A serial butt sniffer.

[Chick McGee]

Guilty as charged.

[Tom Griswold]

God, that's just weird.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, look, if this is wrong, I don't want to be right. Can't help it.

[Tom Griswold]

Why doesn't they just become like a bathroom attendant?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, you're right.

[Tom Griswold]

You know what they say. If you do what you love, you never work a day in your life.

[Josh Arnold]

Are there. Are there are bathroom attendants in a female restroom? Male?

[Chick McGee]

No. Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

They're always.

[Christy Lee]

Now, wait a minute. There used to be a bar that. That was downtown that had a male bartender inside the. The ladies bathroom.

[Josh Arnold]

Whoa.

[Christy Lee]

And there was a bartender in there.

[Chick McGee]

But wasn't there a small room with the bar? And then.

[Christy Lee]

And then you walked around the corner into the toilet.

[Josh Arnold]

But he could hear and potentially smell.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Huh. Huh.

[Tom Griswold]

So this guy, he's just. Just hovering behind ladies and bending over and.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, like if you were standing in the aisle at Walgreens. Right. And I'm looking at shampoo or something, and a guy bends down and pretends like he's looking at something lower on.

[Tom Griswold]

The shelf and he's huffing your buns.

[Jess Hooker]

Kind of just like.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Law and Order. Bsu. Butt sniffing unit.

[Josh Arnold]

Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.

[Tom Griswold]

What's the. What's the Law and Order? How does it Go.

[Chick McGee]

What's the.

[Tom Griswold]

Bum bum bum bum. No.

[Chick McGee]

That's awesome.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I'm glad I don't have this compulsion.

[Tom Griswold]

No, there's a way to do that. You could get away with this.

[Christy Lee]

You've thought about this, huh?

[Tom Griswold]

I just thought about this. You could, if this was your thing, if you put on a dog costume, you could go to any store and people would think, oh, look, that's a. Look at the. Look at the nice doggie.

[Josh Arnold]

And you're talking that those crazy realistic ones are like Japanese businessmen wear or whatever we've done stories on.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I think. I think you could do a comical kid's dog costume.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, and you think, oh, he's just Joey.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Some guy joking around in a costume.

[Jess Hooker]

You could walk around and pretend to sniff.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but I have just helped some butt sniffing guy out there with a great idea. You're welcome, sir.

[Josh Arnold]

Are you proud of yourself for doing that like that?

[Chick McGee]

Out.

[Pat Godwin]

Help me out.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm trying to help people with mental health issues.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, will you.

[Josh Arnold]

I have those.

[Chick McGee]

Will you for once help Pat?

[Pat Godwin]

I need it.

[Josh Arnold]

His hand is out.

[Chick McGee]

I need help. He welcomes your help. Tomorrow, exhibits that I need help. I see.

[Jess Hooker]

What's an acceptable thing to do to a butt? You know what I mean?

[Christy Lee]

Like smack it.

[Jess Hooker]

Smack it or bite it. It or kiss it.

[Ally Breen]

Like, is that allowed?

[Chick McGee]

There's a fine line for biting.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay, okay.

[Chick McGee]

A rub.

[Josh Arnold]

I insist on smashing a cream pie into, not licking it off.

[Pat Godwin]

Perhaps.

[Tom Griswold]

I want to bathe.

[Josh Arnold]

Man, I love that there are guys who like when women just sit on things.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

The balloon pop.

[Josh Arnold]

Balloons onto like a cobbler.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Ally Breen]

Yeah, they just love.

[Chick McGee]

See, now that's what I think's weird. The balloon top poppers. I can't get over that.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, it's the anticipation that gets.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, the anticipation of the balloon popping.

[Tom Griswold]

And once again, just.

[Christy Lee]

Just something happened at a birthday party really young in their life.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Be glad you don't have to deal with that today in your life. Well, now we have Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance news desk. What else is happening?

[Christy Lee]

Ketchup. Once touted as a cure for diarrhea. That's right, ladies and gentlemen. According to Pop Sci, the sauce originated more than 2,000 years ago in China Sauce, where sailors made fermented fish sauce called ketchup.

[Josh Arnold]

I remember we talked about how early ketchups were made from like rotting fish.

[Christy Lee]

And it was later sold to European traders in the 17th century.

[Chick McGee]

What was it called?

[Christy Lee]

Keh chop k e t c h e u p Ketchup Ketchup. Ketchup.

[Josh Arnold]

Ketchup.

[Christy Lee]

By the 18th and 19th centuries, ketchup has become popular in England and America. But early recipes included ingredients like anchovies, shallots, horseradish, and nutmeg. Doctors at one time even recommended it as a treatment for digestive and liver ailments. In 1835, ketchup was even turned into tomato pills. That was marketed as medicine.

[Chick McGee]

Honey, have you seen my tomato pills?

[Josh Arnold]

They're next to your asparagus lotion.

[Tom Griswold]

But it was a cure for diarrhea, which is ironic because if you get ketchup in the plastic bottles and turn it upside down and squirt, it sounds like diarrhea.

[Pat Godwin]

And I still always laugh.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I always can't help it. Not me, honey. It's the ketchup.

[Jess Hooker]

I've heard of people taking a spoonful of mustard when they get sick, Right? Yeah, right.

[Christy Lee]

That's for sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Jess Hooker]

Just yellow mustard. It's supposed to be good for. For the throat. Marie Osmond does it before.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, well, then I'm gonna. For sure. Dr. Marie Osmond recommends.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't like mustard. A little bit.

[Chick McGee]

I don't like mustard, and I don't like custard, because there's a turd. Turd in the word.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, will you use ketchup at a restaurant if.

[Jess Hooker]

If the French fries call for it?

[Josh Arnold]

What do you mean, Tom? I know what he's asking.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean that. That one that's been sitting on the table.

[Josh Arnold]

There was a time where my OCD kind of got the better of me.

[Chick McGee]

Me.

[Josh Arnold]

And I would ask the person I was with to put ketchup on my plate.

[Jess Hooker]

You don't want to touch it?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, yeah, I'll touch it.

[Tom Griswold]

You're Dizzy Louie's house of hash, and there's that ketchup that's been there for six months.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, Dizzy Louie makes a great omelet, okay.

[Josh Arnold]

He drops a lot of plates, man.

[Pat Godwin]

You had to wait for things because he dropped.

[Chick McGee]

I used to go to lunch with a guy who would always.

[Christy Lee]

House of hash. I'm going there.

[Chick McGee]

I insist. Why aren't we making those T shirts? They'll always insist on having a new bottle of ketchup.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, really?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. That makes sense.

[Chick McGee]

He would. He would make him return to ketchup. Bring back. Bring out a new bottle.

[Tom Griswold]

I like it. The places that. Those little mini bottles.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Room service is good for those.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

That way, you know. You know that nobody's, you know. You know, put anything.

[Chick McGee]

How do you even.

[Christy Lee]

I Don't know how you live.

[Chick McGee]

I. I find it fascinating that you leave your home.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

With all you do.

[Josh Arnold]

You're.

[Chick McGee]

You're out all the problems. You have a lot of errands, you go get coffee, you go get. What else is out there.

[Tom Griswold]

Everything.

[Chick McGee]

Coffee.

[Tom Griswold]

Everything's out there working out.

[Chick McGee]

You go order toast. You don't make toast, right? Yeah, yeah, I don't.

[Tom Griswold]

We may have a toaster. I've never noticed.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Griswold]

I think we probably do.

[Pat Godwin]

Mine broke. Anybody have an extra chick?

[Chick McGee]

I don't know.

[Jess Hooker]

We have one here you can take.

[Chick McGee]

Absolutely not. Not. Go buy a toaster.

[Pat Godwin]

I can't. I can't afford it. I'm moving in soon. I'm going to need some help. Chris, can I have a thousand?

[Jess Hooker]

Hey, we should start a.

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Jess Hooker]

A house. What do they call this? Housewarming. A housewarming party.

[Tom Griswold]

Aren't you moving to a new apartment in the same building?

[Pat Godwin]

I am indeed.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, but it's new. He needs new.

[Pat Godwin]

There was an issue with some water leakage that ruined the floors in the one I'm in.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, was it easier to move?

[Pat Godwin]

No, no, no. It was actually their fault. Not my dogs, really.

[Tom Griswold]

So where you are you moving to? A different building.

[Pat Godwin]

Different building? Yeah, second floor. So we got to get piano up the second floor. That's 600 bucks, Christy. Sixteen hundred if you can.

[Christy Lee]

That's nice.

[Tom Griswold]

What's coming up in the news, Christy Lee?

[Christy Lee]

Coming up, we have a new flavor of Girl Scout cookie headed your way this season.

[Chick McGee]

I can't wait.

[Josh Arnold]

Mushroom and Swiss.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait a second. I'm going to get back for one second. The ketchup thing. I just was thinking, thinking about this. The. They're saying it's a. It's a cure for diarrhea. Or it causes it.

[Christy Lee]

It could be a cure. It was for digestive.

[Josh Arnold]

This was ketchup back in the day.

[Tom Griswold]

Because there's also a constipation cure that's kind of like ketchup.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, really?

[Tom Griswold]

You turn the person upside down and hit him on the feet real hard.

[Josh Arnold]

That'd be a way to get somebody to throw up.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I would think.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, look at this. Dear Bob and Tom show. So on the 31st of August, I was called in for a long awaited lung transplant.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, wow.

[Chick McGee]

In preparation for the transplant, they shaved both sides of my groin, creating a landing strip. But more importantly, when I was packing my bag to go to the hospital, I made sure I had my raycon earbuds. The day after the transplant, I thought I'd Lost one when it popped out of my ear and went right down the toilet. I froze for a split second and like, what am I going to do? I didn't want to stick my hand in poopy water. So I had left the restroom, went out, got some gloves, came back. Long story short, he got the Raycon out of there. Dried out in a couple hours. Works wonderfully. How's the lung? Raycon earbuds. Oh, there's no.

[Josh Arnold]

His body. Rejected.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

The important thing is he loves raycons. Tom well, good luck with the.

[Tom Griswold]

Good luck with the new lungs, sir.

[Chick McGee]

Raycon's everyday earbuds. Classic. Classic. They're back. It's back to cool. They're packed with upgrades. The active noise cancellation multi point connectivity pair. Two devices at once and a super comfortable ergonomic fit that stays put. And they have a new cool mint color. Plus, they've got up to 32 hours of battery life. Quick charge function that gets you 90 minutes of battery by charging for just 10 minutes. And the awareness mode, which is great if you're out walking your puppy dog. Go to buyraycon.com Tom and get 20% off site wide today. That's buyraycon.com Tom 20% off site wide. This message sponsored by Raycon.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much, Raycon. Thank you, Chick McGee. Coming up, air tags in the news, Apple news, breakfast news and more. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

For a complete copy of the Bob and Tom show contest rules, go to bobandtom.com contest rules or just scroll down to the bottom of the page and see contest rules. This is the Bob and tom [e-mail].

[Tom Griswold]

It'S not just about window treatments. It's about you. Your style, your space, your way. Whether you DIY or want the pros.

[Chick McGee]

To handle it all, you'll have the confidence of knowing it's done right.

[Tom Griswold]

From free expert design help to our 100% satisfaction guarantee, everything we do is made to fit your life and your windows.

[Chick McGee]

[e-mail] the only thing we treat better.

[Tom Griswold]

Than Windows is you. Visit blinds.com now for up to 45%.

[Chick McGee]

Off with minimum purchase plus a professional measure at no cost.

[Tom Griswold]

Rules and restrictions apply.

[Chick McGee]

Wolf welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. At the SILAC Insurance news desk, it's Christy Lee. Hi, there's Pat Godwin. Hello. Jess Hooker. Hi, there's Josh Arnold.

[Christy Lee]

Hi there.

[Chick McGee]

Ace Cosby. Hello. I'm Chick McGee. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Time for our history lesson, ladies and gentlemen.

[Chick McGee]

All right, let's learn today in history.

[Josh Arnold]

Was it October 6th?

[Chick McGee]

Somewhere around September 10th.

[Tom Griswold]

October 6th.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I got you.

[Tom Griswold]

Threw me for a second. Happy birthday. The great Arnold Palmer was born on this date in 1929. And of course remembered by some just as. The iced tea guy.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Iced tea with lemonade. The Arnold Palmer. A now a classic drink and actually canned and licensed by Arnold Palmer's family.

[Jess Hooker]

That's good.

[Tom Griswold]

If you listen to this show, you're. You know that Arnold Palmer also.

[Chick McGee]

Oh my God.

[Tom Griswold]

A member of the John Ham Ham Club.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

As certified by John Feinstein. And he's Mr. Palmer. Very, very, very, very well. Now it is true that if you take an Arnold Palmer and add a lot of vodka. A John Daly.

[Jess Hooker]

That's correct.

[Tom Griswold]

And then if you crash your car while driving with one, it becomes a tiger.

[Chick McGee]

Have you seen the. Have you seen the new Happy Gilmore? He's in that. John Daly's in that. He's. He's wonderful. John Daly.

[Tom Griswold]

Sure. Funny guy. Let's see now. Happy birthday, Chris Columbus. You know who this is?

[Christy Lee]

He discovered America.

[Chick McGee]

He wrote.

[Josh Arnold]

Or the director of Home alone.

[Chick McGee]

Goodbye.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. 1958. The director of Home Alone. Mrs. Etc. Etc.

[Josh Arnold]

First couple Harry Potters.

[Tom Griswold]

1960. Happy birthday. Colin Firth.

[Jess Hooker]

Colin Firth.

[Chick McGee]

He's always.

[Tom Griswold]

He's the first choice. If you can't get Hugh Grant.

[Chick McGee]

That's right.

[Christy Lee]

Colin's the best.

[Josh Arnold]

Mr. Darcy.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

He always gets called audition.

[Christy Lee]

Or Adorable.

[Chick McGee]

Firth.

[Tom Griswold]

He's great.

[Christy Lee]

Love. Actually.

[Tom Griswold]

Guy. Guy Richie. Happy birthday. 1968. Know who guy Richie is?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. He survived Madonna.

[Pat Godwin]

Can you imagine?

[Jess Hooker]

Snatch. Didn't he Snatch Direct.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Kid with Madonna. So that means he says.

[Chick McGee]

That's a great movie.

[Josh Arnold]

Lock, stock and two smoking barrels.

[Chick McGee]

That's a great movie.

[Christy Lee]

Fight Club. Did he.

[Chick McGee]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Tom Griswold]

1982. Misty Copeland. Misty Copeland is a ballet dancer.

[Josh Arnold]

Really? Did you ever see her?

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I have no idea who we're talking about.

[Pat Godwin]

She's a belly dance.

[Jess Hooker]

Misty Copeland.

[Josh Arnold]

Ballet.

[Pat Godwin]

Ballet.

[Chick McGee]

Ballet, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Why would you even mention her?

[Tom Griswold]

You ever go see the Nutcracker?

[Josh Arnold]

Ballet dancers hate ballet.

[Pat Godwin]

They can't watch it.

[Josh Arnold]

It's boar. I've never seen the Nutcracker live.

[Chick McGee]

You know, they have.

[Josh Arnold]

But I like some of the music.

[Chick McGee]

Pieces of wood in those ballet shoes. They're not even doing a real toe thing. They're just balancing on their shoes.

[Tom Griswold]

That's almost impossible to do there.

[Pat Godwin]

I do it.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, how about this one? This is interesting. In 1897, the first drunk driving arrest in London. A taxi driver named George Smith.

[Josh Arnold]

Is this illegal?

[Tom Griswold]

I wonder what they used for a breathalyzer back then.

[Josh Arnold]

Their noses.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

Came real close to you.

[Tom Griswold]

The constable just takes a big. Okay, you're drunk, all right.

[Christy Lee]

Or knocks the beer out of his hand.

[Tom Griswold]

We were just talking about this guy, Mike, the headless chicken.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

We were in 1945. Decapitated in Colorado. Lived another 18 months. There's. There are photographs of it.

[Josh Arnold]

This thing, it makes me so sad. You can't see.

[Chick McGee]

He was. He was completely taken care of.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, they should have just killed it. It's.

[Tom Griswold]

It.

[Josh Arnold]

It's not.

[Tom Griswold]

He died. He choked to death.

[Josh Arnold]

That's awful.

[Chick McGee]

They had a hole.

[Tom Griswold]

Is a chicken a headless chicken?

[Chick McGee]

Mike had a hole in the top of it.

[Josh Arnold]

How did this even work?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, well, that actually kind of ties in with this next one. And I. I dispute this date, but we've had this before. 1977. The last person to be executed by guillotine. And France.

[Chick McGee]

I thought it was later than I thought it was 81.

[Tom Griswold]

1977.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

But, well, that works. Tell you what.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that's a final thing.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, we gotta. We got problems in the United States. They can't get the medicine, whatever it is, for the executions.

[Chick McGee]

Are you talking about a deterrent? A nice deterrent?

[Tom Griswold]

I'm just saying it works.

[Pat Godwin]

Are you alive for like 30 seconds?

[Josh Arnold]

Some claim. Well, I don't say that the body. That the brain can still process and see.

[Tom Griswold]

They don't know.

[Chick McGee]

Know.

[Tom Griswold]

No one's ever, ever been able to come back and go, hey, yeah, or.

[Jess Hooker]

If you could have a reporter right there where the head falls and just.

[Pat Godwin]

Talk to the guy.

[Jess Hooker]

Question.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't think you can still talk, but I think might be able to blink.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Blink two times if you're aware. Yeah, that's awful.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, boy. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

But you want to see your body.

[Tom Griswold]

But again, my. I think you're missing my point, that there's all these.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm often missing disputes.

[Tom Griswold]

These guys, you know, at certain stage, you can't bring in the chemical to kill people when they're supposed to be executed.

[Chick McGee]

You're doing good work.

[Tom Griswold]

So it just. Let's just get back to the old guillotine.

[Pat Godwin]

That must be terrible.

[Tom Griswold]

No arguing with that.

[Josh Arnold]

It's got to be cheaper too. I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

Why not push them out a window?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah. That's cheap.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Cruel and unusual.

[Josh Arnold]

But as you know, I'm in favor.

[Tom Griswold]

Of cruel and unusual punishment. 1984. The first episode of Jeopardy. With Alex Trebek. And guess what's interesting about this?

[Chick McGee]

This?

[Josh Arnold]

Nothing.

[Chick McGee]

Nothing at all. I bet you what you're going to say is so uninteresting, it will be fascinating.

[Tom Griswold]

He didn't have a mustache.

[Pat Godwin]

That was a fake mustache.

[Josh Arnold]

No, no. He just wasn't sporting one then.

[Tom Griswold]

Didn't have the stash in those early. There's a picture of him though.

[Josh Arnold]

Art Fleming told him, hey, no mustache, man.

[Chick McGee]

I was right.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

In 1991, Nirvana releases the song Smells Like Teen Spirit.

[Chick McGee]

It.

[Tom Griswold]

Which changed a lot of music fans. And it would also now power Urban Outfitters to sell more. Do you think T shirts.

[Josh Arnold]

Teen Spirit deodorant sales went up after they had to.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Josh Arnold]

I never wore the Teen Spirit.

[Jess Hooker]

I didn't either. I just ordered a new deodorant that smells like cannoli.

[Chick McGee]

Really?

[Christy Lee]

Like canoli oil? Like, like.

[Jess Hooker]

No, no, cannoli. Like the dessert hints of vanilla and pistachio. So unless you guys sniff at my pits later, Leave the gun.

[Pat Godwin]

Smell the canola.

[Chick McGee]

Did you hear, Tom? We get a sniff for pitch later.

[Tom Griswold]

She volunteered. Yeah, somebody out there is driving over and. Let's see. That's pretty much it. The cern. What is it? Large Hadron Collider. Powered up for the first time.

[Josh Arnold]

I like that thing. They kind of don't know what will.

[Christy Lee]

Happen around in the Netherlands or something.

[Chick McGee]

Not only that, they're up to something they ain't telling us.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, they're gonna slam something together. We're all gone.

[Tom Griswold]

Also, Josh, you'll like this one. The X Files debuted on Fox in the state in 1993.

[Josh Arnold]

Big fan.

[Chick McGee]

Great, great series. Until they get in the Mulder Sister and the Black Oil.

[Josh Arnold]

The heart of the series.

[Chick McGee]

Stop it.

[Josh Arnold]

Very important. Stop a cannon.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Pat, your standalone, your X Files are just pictures of women you divorce.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, it's a whole album of pictures. Tons and tons of photos.

[Tom Griswold]

Christy, you got. You got a quick story for us? Anything short and sweet.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, The Girl Scout folks announced yesterday a new flavor of cookie.

[Chick McGee]

Lemon.

[Christy Lee]

Nope. Explore Mores.

[Josh Arnold]

Ham.

[Pat Godwin]

Explore.

[Chick McGee]

Explore Mores. Wouldn't you eat a ham cookie?

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Chick McGee]

Ham and cheese.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait a minute. What's an Explore Sandwich?

[Christy Lee]

Explore Moore's or a Rocky Road ice cream Cream Inspired sandwich cookie sounds good. With flavors of chocolate, marshmallow and toasted almond cream.

[Josh Arnold]

Rocky Road Goonies for that.

[Tom Griswold]

Not bad.

[Christy Lee]

It looks really good.

[Chick McGee]

No, that wasn't chunk.

[Josh Arnold]

That's sloth.

[Tom Griswold]

And they got rid of the. Yeah. Toast.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Weren't they doing yet? Wasn't that there was one that they.

[Christy Lee]

They got rid of. Two flavors coming up and I can't remember the other one.

[Chick McGee]

Persimmon.

[Christy Lee]

I'll do my homework and come back and have.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, friendly reminder, we have pop tart ice cream sandwiches in the freezer that we still need to eat that I made.

[Tom Griswold]

All right.

[Chick McGee]

I'll race you to the freezer.

[Josh Arnold]

I will enjoy it.

[Tom Griswold]

Also, if you want to do your pigskin picks, get them out there. We got that thing set up for you and got a nice gift certificate from Steven Singer jewelers for our winners. So NFL fans, head over to bobandtom.com these are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

Hey, thanks for listening this morning. Got something to say? Send us an email. Bob and Tom. Bob and Tom.com Ever wonder how dark.

[Josh Arnold]

The world can really get?

[Christy Lee]

Well, we dive into the twisted, the terrifying and the true stories behind some of the world's most chilling crimes.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi, I'm Ben.

[Christy Lee]

And I'm Nicole.

[Josh Arnold]

Together we host Wicked and Grim, a true crime podcast that unpacks real life horrors one case at a time with.

[Christy Lee]

Deep research, dark storytelling, and the occasional drink takes to take the edge off.

[Josh Arnold]

We're here to explore the wicked and reveal the grim.

[Chick McGee]

We are wicked and grim.

[Josh Arnold]

Follow and listen on your favorite podcast platform.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. At the Silac Insurance news desk, it's Christy Lee. Hi. There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

Jessica Halsman is here. Hello. There's Josh Arnold. Chick Ace Cosby.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

We are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. I'm Chick. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey. We got to get the information out about the new the big Apple announcement yesterday. There's a new iPhone and some other stuff.

[Chick McGee]

I need it. I must have it.

[Josh Arnold]

You get one every year, don't you? Every new year.

[Chick McGee]

Tell myself I'm not. And then I end up getting it. All right. I don't think I'm getting it this year.

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Chick McGee]

I don't. I don't think so.

[Christy Lee]

Apple did announce the latest additions to its marquee product. The tech giant showed off the iPhone 17 with four new models, along with the introduction of the iPhone Air, which Apple says is its thinnest smartphone yet.

[Tom Griswold]

It'd be cool if they, if they'd done the the Apple Air Jordan phone. Wouldn't that be Great.

[Caller]

If Michael Jordan give him a hunk of money.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, who else is what other air is what else? I mean, radio. Yeah, but I mean the MacBook Air. Yeah, but I just. The air is like super thin, I.

[Christy Lee]

Guess the smallest one yet. And the iPhone 17 is going to cost from 800 to $1200. In addition to the iPhone 17, Apple also unveiled AirPods Pro 3 3, Apple Watch Series 11 and Apple Watch Ultra 3.

[Chick McGee]

Did you see the AirPods you. They will in real time as you're listening to a foreign language, speak English or whatever language instantly as if you got your AirPods in. Whoa. What?

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, there's a translation thing.

[Chick McGee]

Translation Instagram with your AirPods.

[Tom Griswold]

That's weird.

[Christy Lee]

The newest gadgets officially hit stores a week from Friday, Friday, September 19th.

[Tom Griswold]

And I guess the 17, it's. It's got a slightly better camera and longer battery life.

[Chick McGee]

A slightly better camera. This is new.

[Pat Godwin]

They're too good.

[Chick McGee]

Wow. Every damn time you in the camera, you've got to know you do this.

[Tom Griswold]

How many pictures do you have on your phone?

[Chick McGee]

I. I don't know. A thousand probably. I know you have 89,000 or some or.

[Josh Arnold]

He's 33% of the clock loud.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, it's just you. I'm sorry. 2009 pictures. There you go.

[Josh Arnold]

Anything from 2010? Did I misunderstand?

[Pat Godwin]

I have 27,000.

[Tom Griswold]

I have a 58,000.

[Josh Arnold]

27,000.

[Pat Godwin]

27,000.

[Chick McGee]

How many do you have pictures of? What, Pat? What do you take pictures of me?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, that's right. I forgot about that.

[Caller]

But Tom, do you transfer all your photos over to the new phone when you get a new phone? So you just keep the. Yeah, the albums going.

[Chick McGee]

All right, the.

[Christy Lee]

Here's 19,413 pictures.

[Tom Griswold]

Where do you. Where does it give you the number? I had it before, but I lost 300. 300 Ace. Okay, very good.

[Christy Lee]

If you go to photos, Thomas, in the left. In the right here in the top left corner.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I don't know if I'll get.

[Caller]

It or not, but I just switched to an iPhone. I've had Android forever and I just got an iPhone and there's some things they could fix. So I'm curious if this new one they actually do anything.

[Josh Arnold]

So there are some things that you preferred on the Android?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, I've heard that.

[Caller]

Basic things.

[Josh Arnold]

I've never heard of an Android user switching me either.

[Caller]

I only think appease other people. I see and do the FaceTime. And guess what? We don't FaceTime. So it's okay, whatever. And then sending videos, large videos were easier, I guess, in texting iPhone to iPhone. But there's just basic things like the notification button on the side of your ringer, like on an Android. You can choose to just have your media control ringer notifications or systems all right there in the one button buttons. You don't have to like silence everything. You could just silence text but still have a ringer. I don't know. Little things like that.

[Christy Lee]

Well, speaking of. Air tags are in the news today. California man says his Apple air tag helped track down his stolen luggage.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Christy Lee]

And a man wearing his clothes.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yes. If you're gonna steal them, why not wear.

[Christy Lee]

Daniel Scott told NBC Los Angeles that after flying home from Seoul Salt Lake City last week, his bag never turned up in the luggage carousel. Oh, we've all been there.

[Chick McGee]

Where's my bag?

[Christy Lee]

When the checked. When he checked his phone to track the Apple air tag inside his suitcase, he saw it leaving the airport via the rideshare lot and traveling to an abandoned building about a half mile away.

[Tom Griswold]

That's where you don't go in.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Police were called. Officers found several men inside the building, one of whom was wearing Mr. Scott's clothing. Los Angeles police detained several people and allowed Mr. Scott to retrieve what remained of his belongings.

[Tom Griswold]

No, thank you.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. He's now urging travelers to use airtag devices to prevent their luggage from being stolen. Mr. Scott said that he found the sliced up luggage with his clothes scattered in multiple rooms within this building.

[Josh Arnold]

Weird.

[Christy Lee]

And was happy. But he did get 90% of his clothes back. So apparently.

[Tom Griswold]

Would you want to go into an abandoned building full of bums?

[Christy Lee]

Well, he.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, keep it.

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Ally Breen]

Hey.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, sir. You look better in my pants than I did. Why don't you keep them there?

[Josh Arnold]

I. I honestly didn't assume bums. I assumed some sort of operation.

[Tom Griswold]

I thought you said it was an abandoned building.

[Chick McGee]

It was. But who says there are bums there?

[Josh Arnold]

Who else said Some sort of.

[Pat Godwin]

Some kind of operation.

[Chick McGee]

It's a crime ring. They meet there and go over the suitcases.

[Christy Lee]

They stole the suitcases and they get together and see what they got.

[Chick McGee]

They could be on the Fortune 500 list. No, this is.

[Tom Griswold]

This is a house full of loser idiots.

[Christy Lee]

It's real close to the airport. They found an easy place to go.

[Josh Arnold]

These are criminals.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

They're not.

[Josh Arnold]

They got a whole thing going.

[Chick McGee]

What did he call it? Warehouse full.

[Pat Godwin]

Abandoned building full of buns.

[Chick McGee]

Abandoned. Abandoned building full of bones.

[Tom Griswold]

Would you go in there?

[Chick McGee]

If they had my suitcase, I Might. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

No, the authorities.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, he called the cops. Yes, and then I'm surprised. The cops.

[Tom Griswold]

They need to develop air tags that released sarin gas, so I could just flip the switch. Whoever's got my suitcase is dead.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, think that through.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

If you had an airport tag that released sarin gas, you'd. You'd kill yourself within three minutes.

[Pat Godwin]

What does this button do exactly?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, my God, I love the.

[Tom Griswold]

Once again, it's a building full of bombs.

[Pat Godwin]

No, it's an abandoned building.

[Chick McGee]

Abandoned building full.

[Tom Griswold]

So this is some kind of operation where they just steal stuff and then they sort it out?

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

That doesn't sound more logical than just random bums.

[Tom Griswold]

The guy's already wearing his clothes.

[Pat Godwin]

In Armani suits.

[Chick McGee]

Bunch of bums.

[Tom Griswold]

So did you look around and see the guy about. Oh, this guy's about my size. I'll look for his.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, well.

[Christy Lee]

Well, no, I think they just grab whatever they can.

[Josh Arnold]

There were clothes in different rooms, so people. Different people were trying to.

[Chick McGee]

It looks. Probably looks like a Walmart in there. In the clothing department, they said there.

[Christy Lee]

Were clothes scattered all over.

[Chick McGee]

Didn't you run into the only bag? Sort of run into this in Florida when you got the bikes back? Remember that story? Yeah, that's probably a crime ring.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, all right. What else you got, Christy?

[Josh Arnold]

What else are bums up to out there?

[Chick McGee]

We're not gonna get any fun.

[Christy Lee]

Well, we have a doorbell. We have a doorbell prankster in the habitats inhabitants. Did I say that right?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, God, not even close.

[Christy Lee]

Inhabitants on an apartment block in Germany.

[Chick McGee]

You play Ding Dong Ditch.

[Josh Arnold]

We did. Yeah. Until one time I got chased by a homeowner and it was horrifying.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, no kidding. Yeah, we're not talking about that. We're talking about about in Germany in an apartment.

[Tom Griswold]

So it's Ding Dong Deutsch.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

You know what? You're on fire this break.

[Chick McGee]

First an abandoned billy full of bombs, and now Ding Dong Deutsch.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Folks were surprised to learn that a late night doorbell prankster turned out to be a slug. An ordinary slug, like in your garden? According to the Guardian, I rang the bell. Suspected teens were responsible for ringing their doorbells late at night and called police. Authorities, however, determined a slug had been sliding up and down the bell plate. Police said the gastropod had been brought down to size, taught about its territory boundaries, and placed on a nearby stretch of grass. And stay off of the doorbell.

[Tom Griswold]

That's why you want to salt your doorbell.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yes. You got to do that.

[Tom Griswold]

They hate that.

[Christy Lee]

They hate salt. I didn't know. Slugs.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And what's the thing. What's the thing you do with a Frisbee?

[Chick McGee]

You put beer in a frizz, crawl in, drink the beer, get drunk. They lose. They lose all of their possessions. They have to go into a program.

[Christy Lee]

Bums are wearing their clothes.

[Chick McGee]

Next thing they know, they're in a warehouse.

[Josh Arnold]

Story of age. Age old story.

[Chick McGee]

An abandoned building full of bum bums.

[Tom Griswold]

Are all wearing my clothes.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, that would be a good escape room.

[Chick McGee]

What did you jump. Why did you jump to bums? Because they had put the clothes on.

[Tom Griswold]

But she said an abandoned building and the guy's wearing. The guy's wearing his clothes.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, but did you. You didn't re. Did you read the whole story?

[Tom Griswold]

Of course not.

[Christy Lee]

There were all kinds of luggage and all kinds of clothes.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, okay. So it's a ring.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

Some kind of.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, still a bum. He's a thief. Still. Still a bum. Right. Now it's time for Contender.

[Chick McGee]

But I'm a bum.

[Tom Griswold]

You've been hearing about those annuities from the Silac Insurance Company here on the Bob and Tom Show. Let's get some more information out there by doing the McGee 3 quiz. Three questions in the FAQ category. Frequently asked questions of the Silac Insurance Company. Chick Magee.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's just say I want to browse and read about all the Silac annuity options. What's the Silac address for the Silac Insurance website?

[Chick McGee]

That's so easy. It's silacins.com. that's S I L A C I N S dot com.

[Tom Griswold]

Very good question two. I love this idea. A 20% bonus by going from a 401k to a Silac annuity. What's the phone number for information about that?

[Chick McGee]

Once again, very easy. Just dial £250 on your cell and say bonus, bonus 20. That number again. £250 and then just say bonus 20.

[Tom Griswold]

You're two for two. One more question, Mr. McGee. It'd be too much to ask you to read the Silac Insurance disclaimer.

[Chick McGee]

It is. I can't. I'm winded.

[Tom Griswold]

Here's Kristen.

[Christy Lee]

Premium bonus may vary by annuity product, premium band and surrender charge period selected and may be subject to a premium bonus. Recapture. Some products with bonuses may offer lower growth rates or capital. Consult your financial advisor. Terms and conditions apply. See silacins.com disclosures.

[Tom Griswold]

Perfect read. Thank you very much, Christy Lee.

[Chick McGee]

Bums do not apply.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up. It's going to be sexy. Time with Ally Brain will help folks with their love troubles. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

There's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

There's Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi there.

[Chick McGee]

Jessica Alsman. Hey. Ace Cosby.

[Josh Arnold]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. I'm Chick McGee. And Tom is here. And today is hump day. And that means we talk about humping. Oh, very good.

[Tom Griswold]

And I believe we'll talk about humping with Ali Breen. Not actually humping Ali.

[Chick McGee]

Not. Well, not humping or humping.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. She is our voice of authority in the world of romance. Hey, Allie. How are you?

[Chick McGee]

I'm good.

[Ally Breen]

I got stung by a bee, so my face is. I look like a bit of a stroke victim. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, boy.

[Chick McGee]

Where'd you get stung?

[Ally Breen]

In Florida. I got stung and I don't know if I'm having an allergic reaction. I just started taking Benadryl, but I might have to go see someone.

[Chick McGee]

Your face is swollen a little.

[Pat Godwin]

What kind of bee?

[Chick McGee]

One, that's for sure.

[Christy Lee]

Is it a yellow jacket? Jacket?

[Ally Breen]

I don't know if it was a bee or a hornet or something bit me. I was like in a lot of brush. I was trying to burn some stuff down and like.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, they don't like that.

[Ally Breen]

Hey, John, like Florida woman out there. Didn't you.

[Chick McGee]

Didn't you have a girlfriend at the time you guys were out on the golf course? Didn't she get stung by.

[Josh Arnold]

She did, yeah. Yeah. Right between the first and second hole.

[Chick McGee]

Oh. What? What'd you tell her after that happened?

[Josh Arnold]

They said, oh, maybe your stance is too wide.

[Pat Godwin]

Perfectly delivered.

[Chick McGee]

Perfectly, perfectly.

[Tom Griswold]

One of the true classics conversations, the way the show works. Sexy time. You send us your love troubles, we try to fix them. Go ahead, Ally, what have you got?

[Ally Breen]

Dear Ally, I'm getting married in November and my fiance wants to invite his ex wife to the wedding. They're on very good terms and they have two kids together, so that's great for co parenting, but I think it's a little much to have her at our house. Actual wedding.

[Tom Griswold]

Yep.

[Ally Breen]

I would imagine it would be awkward for her, too. What, do you guys invite her or not?

[Josh Arnold]

You're being unreasonable.

[Chick McGee]

Invite her? Yeah. I don't see any problem with it at all. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, well, but you.

[Christy Lee]

You.

[Josh Arnold]

You guys can't. You can't look at this from personal experience.

[Tom Griswold]

Why not?

[Jess Hooker]

Because it's.

[Josh Arnold]

It's just not fair. We. It sounds.

[Ally Breen]

Because you all hate all your exes.

[Christy Lee]

No, I don't. My exes were all invited. They can all come. Come. I don't care.

[Chick McGee]

Well, now, hang on. Let's not get carried away. I get to pick and choose which acts.

[Christy Lee]

All right.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And there's only one.

[Ally Breen]

That would actually be amazing if there were five deep. Like, that would be incredible to have that many exes at a wedding.

[Tom Griswold]

Are there. Are there restrictions at funerals?

[Chick McGee]

You mean as far as religion goes?

[Pat Godwin]

I think the family can say something.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, well, you could show up. What are they gonna do, Kick you out?

[Pat Godwin]

Kick you in? Maybe kick in the whole hole.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I.

[Josh Arnold]

Maybe your stance is too hot.

[Tom Griswold]

I know. I knew a situation in which they had the one people that you'd walk in the funeral home, and it was kind of like a wedding if you were on the left.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, really?

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Ally Breen]

Oh, weird.

[Chick McGee]

When you say the one people. What. What are you talking about?

[Tom Griswold]

You know what? I'm sorry. I misspoke. In other words, it was extraordinarily awkward the way the person went out and so they.

[Chick McGee]

I went to a funeral and there were two viewing areas. One had a giant picture and one had the body in the different areas. And one was for his wife and the daughters, and the other was for.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay, so there was a private.

[Chick McGee]

His girlfriend and other. Other.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, this was very similar.

[Josh Arnold]

Gotcha. Gotcha. And yeah, no, I think you're being. In fact, I think this is a warning sign. Sign for your fiance that you're going to be somewhat unreasonable in the future.

[Caller]

Well, could you compromise and she just go to the reception part and not the actual walking down the aisle. Then she can attend. But.

[Josh Arnold]

She'S got security and she's insecure.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I don't agree.

[Josh Arnold]

Leave us alone, man.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, not only that, but don't write us and don't listen to.

[Christy Lee]

Exactly. No longer Welcome.

[Tom Griswold]

I think it's perfectly reasonable to say you don't want her there.

[Christy Lee]

She can jinx.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, no, no.

[Josh Arnold]

So that's Bridezilla.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't think so.

[Chick McGee]

All right, whatever.

[Tom Griswold]

Watch her stuff her face with cake.

[Josh Arnold]

Look again.

[Pat Godwin]

Talking about your own personal experience.

[Chick McGee]

She. Someone hasn't gotten fat, have they? Oh, heaven forbid.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, let's go. What's next?

[Chick McGee]

I'd rather them murder.

[Ally Breen]

Oh, I couldn't get reception and needed to borrow my girlfriend's phone the other day, and instead of saying yes, she turned into a Geek squad employee trying to fix my situation. She said it was because using her Phone wasn't a permanent solution, but now I think she's shady. What do you guys think?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, shady.

[Chick McGee]

Nerd out.

[Caller]

She likes to try to figure it out. Maybe you're dumb and she can figure out something.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait a minute. I don't understand. Did they want to use the phone for a lengthy period of time or just make one quick phone call?

[Ally Breen]

It sounds like just a phone call, but she didn't want to over.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Then. Then there's something going on.

[Josh Arnold]

No, there's not. Yeah, listen to these paranoid lunatics.

[Chick McGee]

Here's the thing.

[Tom Griswold]

It really hurts when I laugh. You should, Ally. I had hernia surgery, and if I laugh too hard, Josh is making me laugh by being so wrong.

[Chick McGee]

You set a day aside where you go through each other's phone. That's all. It's fine. I don't mean any of that. You know that, right?

[Tom Griswold]

We know that.

[Pat Godwin]

We know that.

[Caller]

I wish you would have dialed it for him. Like, I will dial it. You have to tell me the number and then you can use it. And then you have to return the phone. Like have it on speakerphone or something.

[Pat Godwin]

For it's even you're holding.

[Ally Breen]

But then if she has something that could pop up, it's still potentially.

[Caller]

Then she's.

[Ally Breen]

You know what I. Exactly. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Go ahead. Live a life of paranoia and fear.

[Caller]

It's fun, Josh.

[Tom Griswold]

I remember one of the comedians was telling me in the early days of selfies, going back more than about 10 years. Years, when people would. They'd want to do pictures with him, and he would always say, oh, sure. And then he would take the camera and he'd go back and look at their previous photos to see how long it was before he came upon some sexting photographs. So maybe that would be at the. You know, she hands him the phone and all of a sudden, well, see.

[Chick McGee]

That'S none of that. Comedian.

[Tom Griswold]

Unrecognizable. Yeah, that's.

[Chick McGee]

That guy's a jerk. Comedian.

[Pat Godwin]

Comedian.

[Tom Griswold]

Aren't they all?

[Pat Godwin]

Sorry, Al99.

[Chick McGee]

When you're right. Exactly. You're right. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm having trouble getting used to looking at Ally with her puffy face from the bee sting.

[Caller]

You still look beautiful, you know.

[Ally Breen]

Yeah, but it looks like I'm half chipmunk.

[Tom Griswold]

It looks like it hurts when you laugh, too.

[Ally Breen]

It doesn't actually hurt at all.

[Chick McGee]

It's.

[Ally Breen]

It just feels like. I feel like I can see my cheek out of the side of my face. It's very strange.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, well, let's move on.

[Ally Breen]

I get weird allergic reactions sometimes. It's bizarre.

[Caller]

I hope you murdered all of those hornets family, though.

[Ally Breen]

I hope I, too. I don't think I. I think they got me better than I got them. But I did some damage.

[Chick McGee]

Good. Does it hurt?

[Josh Arnold]

You just said it.

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's get to our next letter. Ali Breen is our guest. A L, L, I, B R E E, N. I spell it out because that's how you find her on social media. Once again, A L, L I B R E E N. What have you got? Allie.

[Ally Breen]

Dear Allie, I've been hooking up with a coworker who's engaged, and we both entered into this. No strings attached. I'm catching feelings, and I think he is, too. Should I bring it up or wait until he does? And what are the chances he actually breaks up with his fiance for me? He's never brought her to a single event, and his wedding isn't until next year, so. So there's time. What? How do I handle this?

[Tom Griswold]

It sounds like she's ready. Make the move right now.

[Ally Breen]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

The chaos Titian in me loves agrees with Tom. Blow everything up. Just tell him. Tell him as publicly as possible.

[Chick McGee]

Tell him. Tell him you're pregnant and just go for all of it.

[Tom Griswold]

That, or write us a letter in eight months that you want to go to the wedding.

[Josh Arnold]

I think the chances of him.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Of him leaving his fiance are 5% at best.

[Christy Lee]

You think?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

We disagree again. She says this guy's got feelings for her.

[Josh Arnold]

No, no. She thinks.

[Ally Breen]

She thinks.

[Josh Arnold]

She's projecting.

[Caller]

Women can be delusional when it comes to anything. Sex partners.

[Ally Breen]

But the chances of her.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Josh, I'll be. Apologies. He meant to say everything.

[Christy Lee]

And guys have a really great way of showing that they like you a lot when they want something and when you're not there.

[Chick McGee]

Yes. And women are incapable of that emotion.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. That manipulation.

[Ally Breen]

But chances are 100% he'll still hook up with her after he gets married. I think.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I would say they're hot, for sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's a whole different category. Okay, interesting.

[Chick McGee]

Well, I think the main question is, how hot is she? I think that's. That's the.

[Josh Arnold]

So you go for the hotter one.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Absolutely.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Let's move on. What else you got, Ally?

[Ally Breen]

Dear Ally, me and my husband just had a baby and we have two cats. His mom comes over at least three hours a day to help with our daughter, and she's allergic to cats. She's pressuring Us to get rid of them and he thinks we should. I said, can't she just take allergy medication and you won't even ask her? I'd honestly rather just pay for help at this point.

[Caller]

Wait, get rid of the mom? She's the problem, not the cats.

[Tom Griswold]

No, get rid of the cats.

[Chick McGee]

Kitty, kitty, kitty. Here. Yeah, that's right.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, Tom, what would you say if they were dogs?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I'd say keep the dog.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay, so. Yeah. Oh boy. Cats.

[Pat Godwin]

Can.

[Christy Lee]

I would ask her to take allergy meds.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, why don't you ask?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. I met your kids.

[Tom Griswold]

Do those work?

[Chick McGee]

Work. They do.

[Josh Arnold]

I do know some people who that really works for and I know others that it doesn't.

[Caller]

I am highly allergic to cats and I live with a cat.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, there you go.

[Ally Breen]

Struggle through it.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay?

[Caller]

Yeah, she's fine. It's your baby. Yeah, she's already had hers.

[Tom Griswold]

They come home and that cat's taking a chunk of that kid's face off.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, come on. Those cats.

[Tom Griswold]

Now you're a cat lady, right, Allie?

[Ally Breen]

Yeah, my cat's right here listening to this.

[Chick McGee]

Oh my.

[Ally Breen]

He's horrified. I know.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you have one or two cats?

[Chick McGee]

Two.

[Ally Breen]

Two. They're the best. Yeah, I would never. I would get rid of an in law over the cats any day.

[Chick McGee]

You know, your face is swollen now, but it's nothing like when you pass away in your apartment and both your cats start eating your face out of love. Change dogs.

[Pat Godwin]

It takes a while.

[Chick McGee]

No, dogs start with your feet and they wait a much longer time. Yeah, go ahead.

[Ally Breen]

Cats go right. I mean, cat. My cat's trying to eat my face. Just waking me up in the morning. So. Yeah, it's not that big of a show.

[Chick McGee]

Sounds lovable. Yeah. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

We're speaking with Ali Breen, comedian, and we are going over your love problems. You can reach Ali once again, A L L I B R E E N on social media. Also. Also a little bit of sexy time on Only Fans at A L L I B. Now let's get back to the letters. Ellie, what do you got?

[Ally Breen]

Dear Ally, I went in for sexy time with a girl I've been hooking up with and it was that time of month and she didn't even warn me. We were at her place, so the laundry situation was hers. But I still think maybe she should have given me a choice in the matter. If it was a girlfriend, sure, but just to hook up. I'm a little bit grossed out. Am I being crazy?

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Grow up.

[Caller]

Yeah, but Chrissy wouldn't you warn a guy?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Gosh, yes. So would I.

[Chick McGee]

Absolutely.

[Ally Breen]

100%.

[Caller]

Ali, have you ever surprised a guy?

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Ally Breen]

I would always give warning. That is too weird.

[Josh Arnold]

The red warning.

[Pat Godwin]

The red warning.

[Christy Lee]

The red flag is up.

[Tom Griswold]

What is it? Red panties at night. Sailors delight. What is it again?

[Chick McGee]

Get your red wings.

[Tom Griswold]

Red panties in the morning. Sailor.

[Chick McGee]

Jake.

[Tom Griswold]

Warning.

[Josh Arnold]

You should look like you just finished a jelly donut eating contest.

[Chick McGee]

Strawberry. Oh, the visual.

[Tom Griswold]

Leave her alone with the Japanese flag. Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Make it look like a Wes Craven film in there.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, there you go. Let's just move on. Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

We got time for a couple more letters. Ellie, what do you got?

[Ally Breen]

Dear Ally, my best friend is getting married and I'm in the wedding party. So is my ex, who I absolutely hate. Hate. He cheated and lied and broke my heart. And I feel like I should be able to say I'll only be in the wedding party if he's not. I gave them also the other option and saying they can keep him in and get rid of me, but if they choose to do that, I'm not going to be friends with them anymore.

[Caller]

I'm so glad you made this about you.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Gosh.

[Chick McGee]

Well, first of all, I hope you're not late for kindergarten later today. And secondly, as long as you have.

[Caller]

To walk down the aisle with him, you can exist.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, you can also just remove yourself without creating any drama. You can just say, hey, you know what? I'm not gonna be able to make it.

[Caller]

I'm not gonna be your friend anymore.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, you don't have to do that.

[Christy Lee]

Come on.

[Ally Breen]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Or you can even just say, you know what? I'm pretty uncomfortable with this. I love you guys, but I'm out.

[Chick McGee]

You know, that's fair.

[Caller]

And you can still go as a supporter.

[Josh Arnold]

No, she doesn't want to go at all.

[Chick McGee]

All.

[Caller]

Well, she could still go to the wedding.

[Ally Breen]

He's going.

[Josh Arnold]

I think the issue is he. She doesn't want to be in the same building as this guy.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but there's cake.

[Ally Breen]

Mostly there is.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I didn't know there was cake.

[Josh Arnold]

How fat is she? Cuz that does.

[Ally Breen]

She should bring a hot date. Bring a hot date and, you know, show off in front of her ex.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, you could do that, too. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Or just slot it up on the dance floor.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's.

[Chick McGee]

Throw it out there. Yeah. Make out with somebody like the plane's going down. That's what you should do.

[Tom Griswold]

Show up as the stripper at the bachelor party. Okay, we got time for at least one more Letter. Ellie, what do you got?

[Ally Breen]

Dear Ellie, my girlfriend went with her friends to a Pearl Jam cover band concert and hung out with the guys from the band for like four hours. After the show. I told her that's inappropriate because she has a boyfriend. Me. And I also kept saying it's lame because she's not even actually hanging out with the real band members.

[Tom Griswold]

That would have been okay if it had been Eddie Vedder. It would have been. Been okay.

[Ally Breen]

That could have been her. Her whatever. Hall pass. And she left saying I'm an a hole. And we haven't talked since then. But am I wrong?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Caller]

She hung around for four hours or little much.

[Tom Griswold]

There's a whole topic there, though. Partying groupies for cover bands.

[Pat Godwin]

That is a little lame.

[Ally Breen]

I have to admit. I kind of agree.

[Chick McGee]

Maybe. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Isn't this more about her being with her friends and being out till like.

[Christy Lee]

Probably two or three?

[Josh Arnold]

Any musician is kind of fun or whatever.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Ally Breen]

It still feels like they're hanging with a cool band. Exactly. It's not just nefarious.

[Tom Griswold]

You want to take this hanging with a band.

[Christy Lee]

I've hung with a lot of bands and a lot of times it's a lot more boring than you think. So there's a lot going on.

[Pat Godwin]

The people in your life get jealous when you would do that. Hang out with bands.

[Christy Lee]

No, usually they were in the band.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, that's convenient. The right thing.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Wow.

[Ally Breen]

That changes everything.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Last time I hung out with a band, my husband was with me.

[Chick McGee]

There you go.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Must have been awkward when you started making out with.

[Pat Godwin]

I mean, how do you take that.

[Chick McGee]

Again.

[Ally Breen]

In front of everybody?

[Tom Griswold]

Be extraordinarily weird though, to be. And like, with the. With the lead singer of a Pearl Jam cover band.

[Chick McGee]

I'm. I'm anxious to find out what the name of it is like.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. I'm desperately trying to, you know, even.

[Chick McGee]

Flow or some dumb name. It's got to be something versus or something.

[Tom Griswold]

Don't call me daughtery.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, that's.

[Chick McGee]

Don'T call me D. Are.

[Josh Arnold]

You sure it wasn't Creed? Wasn't that the old argument?

[Chick McGee]

I think we've already got it. Any better? Sorry. Sorry, Scott.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Well, Ally, it's always a great pleasure. Thank you. Hope you get your whatever face fix.

[Josh Arnold]

In the meantime, you may have an only fans follower that has a bee sting fetish. This is your chance to charge him.

[Chick McGee]

$5,000 surge pricing right there. Are you.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you working this weekend?

[Chick McGee]

Yep.

[Ally Breen]

I'm back in the city. I'll be at the. I'll be at the Ned it's called on Friday at and the Strip on Saturday. Look who just came to say hi.

[Chick McGee]

Say hi kitty cat.

[Ally Breen]

Someone say.

[Pat Godwin]

I say.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, how, how high are you on like the seventh, eighth floor. And do any damage? Just throw a thing out the window, will you?

[Ally Breen]

Oh, I'm on the third floor. They could make it.

[Chick McGee]

But I would still never do that. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Once again. A L L I B R E E N Send Ally your love troubles. We'll try to fix them for you. Thanks very much, Alex. Now it's time to check in with Mr. McGee and talk about your home.

[Chick McGee]

Home security. That's right. How much would you pay for peace of mind? Well, that's what Simply Safe has for you. They have brand new way to approach break ins in your home. We use Simplisafe here at the Bob and Tom Show. And Simply Safe uses AI powered cameras to identify threats lurking outside your home and immediately alert Simplisafe's professional monitoring aid. Now those agents can intervene in real time with the lurker before the pre the break in even begins. They can access two way audio to confront the person, talk with that lurker, trigger sirens and spotlights and request rapid police dispatch when needed. All helping to stop the intruder while they're still outside. That is real security and peace of mind. Join more than 4 million Americans who trust Simplisafe with their home security every day. Including me at the compound. 60 day money back guarantee from Simplisafe and no long term contracts. Visit simplisafetom.com right now and take advantage of the offer we've gotten for you. 50% off, a new system. That's simplisafetom.com and half off. There's no safe like Simplisafe.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much. Christy Lee, what's coming up?

[Christy Lee]

Coming up, if you skip breakfast and eat a late dinner, you might want to loosen up because it's not good for your health. And we have robber bees in the news. We still need to talk about that.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, we'll look forward to that. Certainly. We're on the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

Hey, thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Get a look at today's show on our YouTube channel.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee at the SILAC Insurance news desk.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Pat Godwin. Jessica Alsman's here. Hey, there's Josh Arnold. Hello. Ace Cosby.

[Josh Arnold]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello, Chick McGee.

[Chick McGee]

Hello. Hello.

[Tom Griswold]

It's great to be here. We're gonna check in with Christy Leese if we've missed anything in the world of news.

[Christy Lee]

New research indicates people who skip breakfast may have a higher risk of developing osteoporosis. Scientists examined the records of nearly a million adults. Adults. To investigate the relationship between lifestyle factors and the diagnosis. A diagnosis of osteoporotic fracture. They found people who had unhealthy habits like smoking, daily alcohol consumption, lack of exercise or sleep, and skipping breakfast were more likely to be diagnosed with osteoporosis. Well, all of those things. This is kind of a stretch.

[Tom Griswold]

What? So, in other words, it's not just skipping breakfast.

[Christy Lee]

Right. I mean, if you're.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, wait, they're not saying to begin with, they're saying you have to have.

[Christy Lee]

All four of those, but.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, then, yeah, that makes sense. Skipping breakfast is incredibly unhealthy. We all. We've known this forever. If you do it, you are. You aren't doing yourself any favors.

[Pat Godwin]

But they're saying fasting is the other side of that argument where they say if you fast as it's better for you.

[Chick McGee]

Well.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, you got to start at 2pm and then start eating, and then eat when you wake up.

[Pat Godwin]

It's a valid comeback.

[Tom Griswold]

So. So pat the. The snap, crackle, pop. Your hair will be. Your femur.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, I'm just not. I am just not hungry in the morning. At all.

[Chick McGee]

Ever.

[Christy Lee]

At all, really.

[Tom Griswold]

What if you have cereal for dinner.

[Caller]

That should be okay.

[Christy Lee]

You're getting calcium.

[Jess Hooker]

That's good for your bones.

[Josh Arnold]

It's not. Breakfast is called that because you break the fast. You guys know that It's.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, so it's not the type of food you eat, it's the time you eat it.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, sorry, Tom. You're right. If you have eggs and bacon for dinner, it's breakfast.

[Tom Griswold]

I love breakfast for dinner.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, we do, too.

[Christy Lee]

I love it.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. Bacon, pancakes, smoked sausage, scrambled eggs.

[Chick McGee]

Jeezy.

[Christy Lee]

Scrambled eggs.

[Chick McGee]

The best.

[Josh Arnold]

That really was fun. Yeah. It's been a while since.

[Tom Griswold]

But that's not healthier. Okay. Sorry.

[Christy Lee]

Hey. Researchers also say that gossiping may be able to predict, well, being in couples. For this particular study, 76 couples wore a portable listening device that recorded a portion of their daily conversations.

[Chick McGee]

Is that right?

[Christy Lee]

Can you imagine? The researchers at the University of California, Riverside found that participants spent about 38 minutes per day gossiping.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I bet they do.

[Christy Lee]

About 29 of those minutes gossiping with their romantic partners. They determined that gossiping among romantic partners may serve as a form of emotional bonding.

[Josh Arnold]

May serve.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, well, that's.

[Christy Lee]

So spill the tea to the one you love.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, I could see that.

[Tom Griswold]

But I think you're bonding because you're going, hey, look, we're not. Those two are just a couple of drunks.

[Josh Arnold]

You know, I guess you do learn a lot about your partner if you say, hey, hey, did you hear so and so did this. I don't like that behavior. And then their person goes, well, I can kind of see their side. You sort of do connect and learn about.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, that would make sense. Or they fight.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Those couple of drunks, do they have anything to do with the abandoned building full of bums?

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, we may be degenerate gamblers, but there are a couple of drunks. Gossiping is good for you.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, we'll see. I. That's.

[Chick McGee]

Do you think there's anybody who doesn't gossip?

[Christy Lee]

Josh doesn't.

[Josh Arnold]

I try. I try to make sure that what I say to anybody, I would say to the person I'm discussing, I'm okay.

[Caller]

As long as it's the truth.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm not always. I don't. I don't always succeed.

[Caller]

Yeah, but when people gossip and then just make up stuff and then start embellishing their own part of the story, that's where I'm like, oh, shut up.

[Chick McGee]

I'm done.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Caller]

I like to know the truth, though. I'm like, oh, it's interesting.

[Josh Arnold]

Or gossip is speculation. I don't like that.

[Chick McGee]

That.

[Caller]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Do they break it down by gender at all?

[Christy Lee]

No. Oh, you're gonna say women gossip more than.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I'm asking.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, it is funny because it's not true, man. Dudes, it's 50.

[Chick McGee]

50. Yeah. Guys. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

You don't gossip.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I'm not. I'm not suggesting that. I'm just saying I'm cure. I would be curious if they would break it down by sexual preference.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, like. Like lesbian couples or gay couples?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I. It may not differ at all. I was just asking you.

[Josh Arnold]

You. You.

[Pat Godwin]

Very gay men just gasping away with their martinis.

[Chick McGee]

Have you. Do you believe him? Oh, yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Look at what he's.

[Tom Griswold]

You talk about gay. He's beyond gay.

[Chick McGee]

I'm just looking inside your brain right now and I'm horrified.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

Police in Canada arrested a man for driving a child sized pink Barbie jeep through a city in British Columbia.

[Josh Arnold]

Should have given him the key to the city.

[Chick McGee]

Damn right.

[Christy Lee]

Several witnesses captured photos and videos of Casper Lincoln Wearing aviator sunglasses and cruising through the streets of Prince George before he was pulled over and taken into custody. Mr. Lincoln told the CBC that he was getting ready to go get a Slurpee with a friend, but got lazy and decided to borrow the tiny car from his kid, his roommate's kid. After pulling Mr. Lincoln over, officers found he had a suspended license and believed he was inebriated, which was later verified by two breathal breathalyzer tests.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean those don't go over a certain cc, right? They're.

[Chick McGee]

They.

[Josh Arnold]

They can't be.

[Tom Griswold]

But he's driving a. Technically probably driving a motor vehicle and if he's intoxicated.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that's the thing. I don't think they can be described as a motor or be classified as a motor vehicle. They don't go a certain speed.

[Tom Griswold]

Friend of mine got a ticket. I'm not kidding. For operating a toy vehicle in a place where the.

[Josh Arnold]

Like on the highway or.

[Tom Griswold]

No, he was going down the big hill in Harbor Springs on a big wheel. He may have been slightly inebriated at the time.

[Josh Arnold]

Was it a public road?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, of course.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, sounds like fun.

[Tom Griswold]

It was a U.S. 119 or State Road 119. Yeah. It was late, I think. I believe Bar harbor had just closed as I recall.

[Chick McGee]

Should have put him in the jail and threw away the key.

[Tom Griswold]

I just love the fact that the. The. The. The judge called. Illegal operation of a toy vehicle. Probably doesn't get too many cases like that. Well, yeah, the guy obviously was a drunk situation so.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, of course he's been arrested several times instead. But this was the aviators funniest.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Come on.

[Tom Griswold]

He's wearing aviator glass. It's probably at night.

[Pat Godwin]

He's got a story to tell his friends.

[Chick McGee]

I hope. A scarf around his snack. That'd be nice.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

I'm surprised that he was able to that the jeep. There must be a weight limit on these little.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, he must be a smaller man.

[Tom Griswold]

Gave his residences Marby's Malibu dream house.

[Chick McGee]

Well, he probably drinks a lot so he can't weigh very much. You know.

[Pat Godwin]

Really doesn't have breakfast.

[Chick McGee]

No 100 pounds.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay now coming up the rest of the week we've got some really good stuff on the way way. I'm very excited about some of the things that we're going to be talking about in the next few days.

[Chick McGee]

I hope we talk about bums some more tomorrow.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, I enjoyed that.

[Josh Arnold]

Why don't we have some just bums in here?

[Chick McGee]

We have bums come in. You would get weirded out if we had bums as guests.

[Josh Arnold]

That's why we have to do it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Come on, look at him. Look at the fear. There was just fear in his eyes right now.

[Josh Arnold]

So how come you're a bum?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, what happened? What woman broke your heart?

[Chick McGee]

Now, first of all, you stay over there.

[Pat Godwin]

That'd be a great show.

[Tom Griswold]

Tell us about about your crackly underwear. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

Add to or continue the conversation. Check out the Bob and Tom show on Facebook. Get the [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

For a limited time at McDonald's get a Big Mac Extra Value meal for $8. That means two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, a sesame seed bun and medium fries and a drink. We may need to change that jingle.

[Tom Griswold]

Prices and participation may vary.