-*VIP Free Trial*- The BOB & TOM Show March 4, 2026

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show Free Podcast — March 4, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode of The BOB & TOM Show is a classic blend of witty banter, comedic asides, audience letters, current event discussions, and musical comedy. The cast—Tom Griswold, Chick McGee, Christy Lee, Josh Arnold, Pat Godwin, Ace Cosby, and Jess Hooker—dive into topics ranging from wiener dog races to the accidental invention of Reese’s-flavored toothpaste, debates about cowboy boots and bird deterrents, the origins of Caesar salad, performance-enhancing drugs in sports, and prank proposals for “app-controlled” bodily implants. True to form, the show’s tone is lively, irreverent, occasionally nerdy, and relentlessly self-aware.

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Key Discussion Points and Segments

1. Cowboy Boots and Breaking Them In (04:03–06:46)

• Topic: Christy Lee debuts new cowboy boots, prepping to host a western-themed charity event.
• Discussion: The cast riffs on the discomfort of breaking in boots and whether celebrities really have shoe-breakers.
• Memorable Quote:
  • Tom: “I would mind that for jeans. When I get a new pair, I leave them in the laundry and throw them in every load... You gotta wash them another 50 times before you like them.” (04:24–04:40)
• Highlights:
  • Chick claims Beyoncé or Bono must have shoe-breaking assistants.
  • The group brainstorms “services” for breaking in clothes (that are definitely not practical).

2. Hee Haw Reboot: Old TV, New Ideas (06:38–08:54)

• Topic: Why hasn't the old variety show 'Hee Haw' been rebooted?
• Discussion: The cast reminisces about the original show, jokes about country music’s TV potential, and references Roy Clark’s legendary guitar skills.
• Notable Quote:
  • Chick: “Never lose sight of the fact that the musicians on Hee Haw were stellar.” (08:23)
• Quick Bits: Pat Godwin mentions Roy Clark’s Odd Couple guest spot; Christy Lee recalls the theme song.

3. Cat Food Innovations and Mouse-Based Recipes (28:00–32:13)

• Topic: Jeff Oskay’s “Shark Tank” pitch for “mouse-flavored cat food.”
• Turns out: Actual “Mouser” brand mouse-based cat food exists, offering flavors like “rabbit and mouse.”
• Memorable Moment:
  • Tom: “It says Mouser is the specialized brand offering canned cat food containing real ethically sourced mouse meat... Designed to mirror a cat’s ancestral diet.” (29:41)
  • Listener’s puns: "Of Mice and Meow," "Maestroni," "Mises Pieces," "Mice Krispies," "Chef BoyorMousey."

4. Salads, Anchovies, and Food Oddities (17:23–25:47; 70:46–73:12)

• Discussion: Debates break out over Caesar salad authenticity, blue cheese, and why Americans stopped eating anchovy pizza. Jess Hooker describes making Caesar dressing from scratch, complete with anchovies.
• Listener Letters:
  • Mike: “My wife mixes Caesar and ranch for salad. Don’t knock it till you try it!” (17:29)
  • A 12-year-old listener cracks up the cast with, “What do you call Reese’s that come in trios? Threeses.” (24:39)
• History Note: The cast is shocked to learn the original Caesar salad did not actually include anchovies.

5. Wild Toothpaste Flavors and Global Variation (20:40–22:10)

• Topic: Peanut butter cup and KFC-flavored toothpastes are marketed in Australia and New Zealand.
• Quote: Tom: “Why does Australia get all the fun toothpaste?” (22:06)

6. Tiki Bar Troubadours, Musical Comedy, and "Easter Bisque" (126:01–127:47)

• Comedy Song: Pat Godwin laments the life of a gigging musician with “Guy With a Guitar at the Tiki Bar,” taking shots at requests for "Margaritaville" and "American Pie."
• In-joke: The term "Easter Bisque" becomes the new "turducken"— the show's code for a comedic flop.

7. Sports and Animal Antics (81:16–83:56)

• Wiener Dog Race: Coverage of the annual Green Bay Gamblers' on-ice dachshund dash.
• Segment: Watching the video, the cast laughs about the chaos on the rink and the suspicious “purebred” status of the winning dog.
• Quote:
  • Tom: “You know why they do this? Wiener dogs put buns in the seats.” (83:02)

8. Viral Stories, Trapeze Myths, and Fact-Checking (116:02–119:48)

• Mythbusting: The story of an Italian trapeze artist defecating on a crowd is proven false (Snopes says satirical origin).
• Viewer Reaction: Disappointment that the story was debunked:
  • Tom: “When I first saw this story, I was so delighted.” (117:33)
  • Josh: “That’s a great story. Especially if she were flipping through the air…” (119:27)

9. Tech Invasions: Microchips and the Workplace (137:00–139:47)

• Legislation: Washington State considers banning employers from requiring staff to be microchipped.
• **Tom: “Well, Mr. Godwin, it appears you spent 27 minutes at the water cooler...” (137:53)
• Reflections: The cast has fun with the Orwellian implications and wonders aloud about a future where medical records are implanted.

10. Off-Label Apps and Penile Management (66:58–67:08 & 123:00–123:17 (teaser))

• Teased Topic: The crew keeps referencing a new app related to managing "the old Johnson.”
• Jokes: Tom facetiously predicts “an off-label use in the world of pharmaceuticals.”
• Quote: “There truly is an app for everything at this point.” (141:17)

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Listener Letters and Homemade Humor

Funniest Listener Moments

• Peanut butter cup toothpaste/“Threeses joke”
• Kangaroo as Sloppy Joey’s: Eating ground kangaroo in Pita pockets (“Sloppy Joeys”)—“even the pita is for the pouch.”
• Ocean Sticks: A listener’s accidental rebranding of “driftwood.”
• Hourglass of ashes: A creative way to remember dad during board games.

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Quick Hits and Notable Bits

• Caesar salad was Mexican in origin, invented by a man named Caesar Cardini in Tijuana—no anchovies originally! (72:55–73:12)
• Reboot ideas: “Heated Rivalry”—a TV show about hockey players who are secretly a couple; possible working title “Butt Puck.”
• Dogs spinning before pooping: “Why do they do that?”—Tom wants the science.
• Dueling pianos and tiki bar acts: Pat Godwin and Bob Cavoyiannis share tales from the stage and tip jar etiquette.
• Trapeze school in the family: Oskay’s sister-in-law runs one!
• Sliced sardines in olive oil: Should you crisp them up to make “healthier” eating less intimidating?
• Rubber snakes and owl decoys in the fight against birds crashing into windows.

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Memorable Quotes with Timestamps

• “Never lose sight of the fact that the musicians on Hee Haw were stellar.” — Tom Griswold (08:23)
• “Why does Australia get all the fun toothpaste?” — Tom Griswold (22:06)
• “Well, Mr. Godwin, I was reviewing yesterday’s hours. You spent 27 minutes at the water cooler.” — Tom Griswold (137:53)
• “I'm not sure what just happened. I blame myself.” — Tom Griswold, after an especially wild segment (38:17)
• “If you want to break in shoes, you need a guy. Bono would have a footwear guy.” — Chick McGee (05:18)
• “That does look like a tablecloth.” — Tom Griswold, roasting Pat Godwin’s shirt (09:46)
• “You call me gay, I’ll go for it. 37 million, I don’t care!” — Tom Griswold, on NFL contracts (53:46)
• “Easter bisque is the new code word for failure.” — Tom Griswold (106:06)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment / Topic | Start | End | |-------------------------------------------|---------------|---------------| | Breaking in Cowboy Boots | 04:03 | 06:46 | | Hee Haw Reboot/Country TV Memories | 06:38 | 08:54 | | Mouser Mouse-Based Cat Food | 28:00 | 32:13 | | Listener Letters (Salads, Reese’s) | 17:23 | 25:47 | | Wild Toothpaste Flavors | 20:40 | 22:10 | | Musical Comedy & Easter Bisque Joke Loop |126:01 | 127:47 | | Wiener Dog Race | 81:16 | 83:56 | | Mythbusting Trapeze Story |116:02 |119:48 | | Microchipping Employees |137:00 |139:47 | | New App for Penile Management (teaser) | 66:58 | 67:08 | | Bird Window Solutions |142:01 |143:50 |

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Final Thoughts and Tone

This episode delivered in true BOB & TOM fashion: lively, irreverent, nostalgic, and thematic, with plenty of quick-witted one-liners. The panel oscillated effortlessly from slapstick to informed commentary and returned often to running gags. Listener participation through mail was, as ever, a highlight. Notably, the on-air “Easter bisque” code joke snowballed—becoming shorthand for comedic misfires among the cast. Whether discussing country TV, culinary abominations, the perils and politics of boots, or the latest viral hoax, the team’s interplay and improvisational spirit were in strong form.

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For those who missed it: This episode is a testament to the show’s zany culture and loyalty to call-in comedy, classic running jokes, and warm camaraderie. You’ll leave with a few trivia nuggets about salads and shoes, a craving for peanut butter toothpaste (or maybe not), and definitely more than one hearty laugh.

Transcript

[Tom Griswold]

Close your eyes. Exhale. Feel your body relax and let go of whatever you're carrying today.

[Christy Lee]

Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts.

[Chick McGee]

Oh my gosh, they're so fast.

[Christy Lee]

And breathe. Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw

[Jess Hooker]

the discount they gave me on my first order.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, sorry.

[Chick McGee]

Namaste.

[Christy Lee]

Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order. 1-800-contacts lifelock.

[Tom Griswold]

How can I help? The IRS said I filed my return, but I haven't.

[Josh Arnold]

One in four tax paying Americans has paid the price of identity fraud.

[Christy Lee]

What do I do?

[Tom Griswold]

My refund, though.

[Chick McGee]

I'm freaking out.

[Tom Griswold]

Don't worry. I can fix this.

[Josh Arnold]

Lifelock fixes identity theft guaranteed and gets your money back with up to $3 million in coverage.

[Christy Lee]

I'm so relieved.

[Tom Griswold]

No problem. I'll be with you every step of the way.

[Josh Arnold]

One in four was a fraud paying American.

[Tom Griswold]

Not anymore.

[Josh Arnold]

Save up to 40% your first year.

[Tom Griswold]

Visit lifelock.com podcast terms apply.

[Chick McGee]

It's the bob and tom show.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, here we go.

[F]

You can be mean to me. Mean as you want to be. Just say anything that you like. You can be nasty and catty and cruel and unusual. Twist my nose with your fingers. Trip me while I carry liquids. But as you pin me down my arms down on the ground as your spit drips into my face Deep in the back of your mind remember at some point you'll have to fall asleep. Yeah and when you fall asleep into your room I'll creep. Did something move in the dark neath your bed? And then a voice you hear calling out loud and clear. A voice that is your own. I said saying. There are things that one can do with Bengay, Nair and super glue. A package of indelible dye. Why would a guy such as I ever buy indelible dye? Blue as the sky. Don't ask me why. This catalog I found so Sells roaches by the pound. Millipedes, centipedes too. They say the meek shall inherit because they stay up late and change the will. And when you fall asleep into your room I'll creep. Did something move in the dark neath your bed? And then a voice you hear it's calling loud and clear. A voice that is your own. A voice that's saying.

[Tom Griswold]

That's all I have.

[Chick McGee]

I love that. Hello from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, it's the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

Ladies,

[Chick McGee]

there's Christy Lee.

[Josh Arnold]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

Well, you fussed. You're all done up.

[Tom Griswold]

You're all.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I got all fussy for you.

[Josh Arnold]

She's all.

[Chick McGee]

She made an effort.

[Josh Arnold]

Look at that.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait a second. And you've got all black. God, are you going to be doing, like, a dance program?

[Christy Lee]

Check this out.

[Tom Griswold]

Look.

[Christy Lee]

What I just.

[Josh Arnold]

Wait a minute.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait a minute. She's got beautiful cowboy boots. What's happening here? What's that made. Eel, snake, mongoose.

[Chick McGee]

What are they made out of?

[Christy Lee]

I don't know. It's called Arat.

[Pat Godwin]

Those boots are made for humping.

[Tom Griswold]

What's the. What's the occasion?

[Christy Lee]

I'm hosting our charity event.

[Chick McGee]

Another radio show later today.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no.

[Christy Lee]

I'm sharing a charity event that's a Western theme, and I had to buy cowboy boots for him for it, and I don't feel like I should wear them the night of without breaking them in.

[Josh Arnold]

You're right.

[Tom Griswold]

That makes sense.

[Christy Lee]

So I have to wear them for a few days.

[Chick McGee]

All right.

[Josh Arnold]

They look great.

[Chick McGee]

Don't they have people who. That's their job. They break in shoes for celebrities.

[Christy Lee]

Well, yeah, but how they know what their foot's going to be like?

[Chick McGee]

I'm just telling you. I think I've heard of this.

[Christy Lee]

Huh?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I would love that.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, me, too, because this is.

[Chick McGee]

You would hire a guy to break in your shoes?

[Tom Griswold]

I've been. I've been wearing. I was wearing a different pair of shoes this week just in the.

[Christy Lee]

To break them in.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. But I didn't wear them again today because my feet hurt too much.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. I'm kind of worried about. And, you know, it's always one shoe.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

One's perfect. And then there's always something wrong with the other.

[Tom Griswold]

Is there a apparatus one can get. I just. I know they make shoe stretchers. I've seen those.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Tighten it up, and it stretches them out. I don't know if that's how much they help.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, you just have to wear them.

[Christy Lee]

Yep. That's what I thought.

[Tom Griswold]

But I think you're right. There are probably people that.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. I think Bono would have a. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

A footwear.

[Chick McGee]

A guy that wears the shoes before.

[Tom Griswold]

I would mind that for jeans. When I get a new pair of jeans, I leave them in the laundry room, and it is. Every time I do a load, I throw them in again without wearing them.

[Christy Lee]

What do you wear? Buy them so big that they fall off of you?

[Tom Griswold]

No, I just want them to be

[Chick McGee]

worn out and don't they shrink up a little bit and they're.

[Christy Lee]

You don't wear. You don't buy pre washed jeans.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but you got to wash them another 50 times before they get to that place where you like them. No, no. I take these for example.

[Josh Arnold]

Not true.

[Chick McGee]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

What.

[Chick McGee]

What are you talking about?

[Tom Griswold]

Washed a million times.

[Christy Lee]

He pre. He buys pre washed jeans. Chick follow this. And then washes them 50 more times before he wears it.

[Tom Griswold]

But if we're talking clothes, I think we.

[Chick McGee]

So they're pre. Pre washed.

[Tom Griswold]

You're. You're ignoring the.

[Chick McGee]

I. I didn't get a chance. There's Josh Arnold. There's Ace Cosby. Of course. I'm Chick and hello. Pat Godwin. My. My goodness. That shirt says hello. You know, it says morning, y'.

[Christy Lee]

All.

[Chick McGee]

That's what it says. That is. Are they re.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that share shirt. Sorry.

[Pat Godwin]

Same shirt, different day.

[Tom Griswold]

Same. That T shirt for that word. That word is complicated. Don't drop the H. I never really know it before.

[Chick McGee]

Just. I really don't care anymore.

[Tom Griswold]

That shirt. That shirt.

[Chick McGee]

You.

[Tom Griswold]

Looks like you're gonna reboot Hee Haw. And by the way, why haven't they rebooted Hee Haw?

[Christy Lee]

That's a great question.

[Chick McGee]

That seems like a natural. The formula. And just get two new guys.

[Tom Griswold]

It's easy. They could get all the stars to come in because they all live in Nashville anyway and they would film those things. Hee Haw was. If you never saw it. It was all pre recorded.

[Christy Lee]

Tom never saw it.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

There's no way. Tom watched he haul chicken.

[Christy Lee]

I grew up watching. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Here's Freddie Fender.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but I mean, now is the time.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, it's very big. Country music is very big.

[Tom Griswold]

But also, I mean, that kind of humor I think would be. Because it was sort of family oriented and goofy and down home.

[Pat Godwin]

What was that song? I searched the world over and thought

[Christy Lee]

I found true love.

[Chick McGee]

You led another and you were gone.

[Christy Lee]

No, you was gone.

[Chick McGee]

You was gone. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, you're right. I never watched it.

[Chick McGee]

And there was a running gag with Archie Campbell. He was the manager at the Open Arms Hotel.

[Tom Griswold]

And are any of those people still alive?

[Chick McGee]

They're cannabis.

[Josh Arnold]

There's no way Junior Samples is oh boy.

[Pat Godwin]

Or Samples Grandpa or Grandpa Joe, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Grandpa Jones.

[Josh Arnold]

There was one chick that was so.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, they're your Gunilla Hutton.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, this formula is. I mean, does someone own the right. We should. Maybe we should do it. Just buy the rights to the name.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, Susan Ray.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's get some super hot chicks And

[Pat Godwin]

Buck Owens was even on there slumming it up.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah. No, he was.

[Tom Griswold]

He was the main guy.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And Roy Clark were the men.

[Tom Griswold]

And Roy Clark, awesome guitar player.

[Pat Godwin]

One of the best.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. Never it never lose sight of the fact that the musicians on the show Hee Haw were stellar.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Did someone or did I dream this? Someone asked Eric Clapton. They said good morning to him. And they said, what's the greatest guitar world guitarist in the world doing right now? And Clapton said, I don't know. You'd have to call Roy Clark or something like that.

[Josh Arnold]

I always heard he said Prince.

[Pat Godwin]

I heard Prince.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, he's a prince. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

All right.

[Chick McGee]

Well, that's quite different.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

But I bet Prince appreciated Roy Clark. And I bet Roy Clark appreciated Prince.

[Pat Godwin]

Roy Clark and the Odd Couple.

[Chick McGee]

I remember that there is a Roy Clark episode of the Odd Couple where he's playing. I'm not sure what it is, but it's just slipping. Amazing. Or as Tom would say in amazing.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, he had that great song. That song yesterday. When I was young.

[Chick McGee]

That's a great life. Was.

[Josh Arnold]

I think that's a really a handsome shirt.

[Christy Lee]

I do too. I like it. Again, not come in and say I like.

[Pat Godwin]

She did say that.

[Tom Griswold]

It looks great, but it for those of you, obviously, it's kind of a black check large in it.

[Chick McGee]

Well, this. This fabulous shirt is up on the Instagram. I think Jason has a picture of it. Pat did the me the honor of. Do we have exposing for this?

[Pat Godwin]

I walked in the room and everybody was laughing.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, if I had been here, I would have been.

[Chick McGee]

Picture of Pat in his shirt.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Smiling.

[Tom Griswold]

There.

[Chick McGee]

There it is. That's a nice pose, isn't it?

[Pat Godwin]

You said it looks like a tablecloth is what you said.

[Chick McGee]

I did not. You said, what's the problem? Tablecloth. That's what you said.

[Tom Griswold]

No, he's correct. It does look like a table.

[Christy Lee]

No, it doesn't. You look great.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I would have said the same thing. But maybe you can do diva. What is the most country Pat Godwin song out there?

[Chick McGee]

Well, what do you mean?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, living next to you, probably.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

I'm not familiar with that.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, you are.

[Chick McGee]

Rap song. What is it? You know, that's folk. Yeah. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Cultural appropriation at its finest.

[Tom Griswold]

You want to do a little. Are you gonna do a little gangster folk for us? That'd be a nice way to start the country.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, that's.

[Pat Godwin]

No, I could do the living next to you if you'd like.

[Christy Lee]

Living next to you.

[Pat Godwin]

You want that now or you want it? How are we doing on time?

[Tom Griswold]

We're doing fine. You can do it right now.

[Chick McGee]

What do you think you are.

[Tom Griswold]

By the way, how we doing on time? When we start playing showbiz Vet.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, how we doing?

[Tom Griswold]

When we come back, we had an idea proposed yesterday on the show that it turns out, is out there and is happening, and you're going to be stunned when you hear what it is. Oh, but first, Pat and his new song called.

[Chick McGee]

No. He splits his guitar away. Wait a minute.

[Tom Griswold]

What are you doing over there?

[Pat Godwin]

I'm trying to remember it. Keep talking.

[Josh Arnold]

Why don't we just come back?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, let's come back.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, then.

[Pat Godwin]

Four changes. There's about 17 of them.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, we have. I guess I'll wait for this.

[Christy Lee]

Is that what guitar playing is all about?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

But you caught me off guard.

[Tom Griswold]

You mean multiple chords?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, multiple chords.

[Tom Griswold]

If it's fun, if it's punk rock there.

[Chick McGee]

I'd like to usually do something first to apologize. I don't know what we were thinking to ask you to play a song.

[Pat Godwin]

Now, the Rolling Stones concerts, they'd have to listen to their old albums to remember the songs. I'm gonna have to listen to the song to remember it.

[Chick McGee]

You're likening yourself to the Rolling Stones.

[Josh Arnold]

I always do.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

And the Beatles and.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, there was a. There's a famous. There was a great story about when the Stones embarked on their tour. The. They were rehearsing in a. They rented a big space in Toronto, and we were talking to Chuck Lavelle, the great keyboard player from the Allman Brothers and from the Rolling Stones. And Chuck was saying, yeah, they would go into this thing, and then he would have them play old Stone songs for the band and, you know, play Painted Black. And they'd play. Okay, I remember that. And then they go and they'd rehearse it. So. Yeah, sure, I get that pattern Bat sometimes called the. The sixth stone.

[Pat Godwin]

I was in Maroon 6, but I got fired.

[Christy Lee]

I hate when that happens.

[Tom Griswold]

So we've got Pat Godwin in a cowboy shirt, kind of Christy Lee in cowboy boots.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You're the Porter Wagner and Dolly Parton of radio this morning.

[Christy Lee]

Should have worn a different shirt.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait a minute. Hang on a second. Pat is making a phone call. What are you doing?

[Josh Arnold]

He's listening to the song he's gonna play.

[Chick McGee]

He's listening to the song he's gonna play.

[Christy Lee]

You could wait till the break as

[Tom Griswold]

an independent observer of this program. Right. Did Pat not volunteer this song?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, he.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, We. I want to hear gangster folk, which I think he can do in his sleep.

[Josh Arnold]

I even kind of argued against gangsta folk, and now I'm wondering if I should.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, you want to hear it? I'm ready now.

[Christy Lee]

All right, go ahead.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, you never return my rake. And you don't cut your lawn. You play Skynyrd on the weekends, loud some nights till the crack of dawn. Turn it down. You got a mean old dog, cars on Block 6 kids, a dead oak tree, and your braless elderly mom is on the porch for all to see. Oh, I've never been so annoyed living next to you at tonight's neighborhood party. Tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna slow dance with your mother at the backyard barbecue. Get her all hot and bothered even though she's 82. I'll put on Free Bird and get your mom to dance. She'll have one hand on my butt and the other down my pants, all dirty. Dance with your mama. Make her boobs jiggle and shake. Then I'll bet you by tomorrow you'll return my rake.

[Tom Griswold]

Ah, yes, I remember it.

[Josh Arnold]

Sorry, everybody.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a story song.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Without getting into the politics of it, for those of you that were maybe, perhaps watching some news in the last couple of days, I do find it rather amusing when certain people go to testify and have a little bit of cleavage. Oh, Senator. Well, you know the bosom of our guest today.

[Christy Lee]

The boys. Oh, this way to distract a man.

[Chick McGee]

I got you.

[Josh Arnold]

You're talking about Christy Domes.

[Tom Griswold]

She has nice hair, too.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, you noticed one of the congressmans

[Christy Lee]

looking at her hair.

[Josh Arnold]

Now, Mrs. Domes.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, boobs.

[Chick McGee]

I mean pants. As the.

[Tom Griswold]

As the titular head of. I mean the. I love that word. Okay, where were we? Oh, I know. With regard to getting penile implants, it's unbelievable what people are doing. Yeah. It's. When you find out what it does, it's absolutely hilarious. I believe it will. What do they call. People are going to use it for something that's called off label use in the world of pharmaceuticals. This is going to be an off label app, which is a concept that I just invented. I'm working on making it into an idea. You're welcome. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. There's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

Hello indeed. There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

Yeehaw. There's Josh.

[Christy Lee]

Arnold and I are gonna square dance later.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that'd be all right. Ace Cosby. I don't know what that means.

[Tom Griswold]

It sounds like all a man.

[Chick McGee]

All the man.

[Tom Griswold]

It sounds like the name of some dictator.

[Pat Godwin]

What?

[Chick McGee]

Colonel Gaddafi and Colonel Alaman. Left.

[Josh Arnold]

I like trout. Alaman.

[Tom Griswold]

What is that?

[Josh Arnold]

I think it's pretty much almonds on it.

[Chick McGee]

Almondine.

[Tom Griswold]

I like. I like pie a la mode. That's our theme for this morning.

[Chick McGee]

I remember PI R squared. That's funny.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, I remember the Alamode.

[Tom Griswold]

You're the one.

[Chick McGee]

If you'd like to see Pat's shirt, it's up on the Chick McGee on Instagram. It's just a glorious shirt.

[Tom Griswold]

You may have to. You may have to warn people. It might cause seizures.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, come on. And there is a asterisk. Not safe for work. Cuz he's. He's bringing the heat this morning.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm going acdc.

[Christy Lee]

You need to unbutton another button, buddy.

[Chick McGee]

Acdc back. Back to show them you're open for business.

[Pat Godwin]

Like this.

[Chick McGee]

Open for business.

[Josh Arnold]

Look at that.

[Chick McGee]

Holy hell.

[Pat Godwin]

Little bit of gray.

[Josh Arnold]

You got papa's medallion on.

[Chick McGee]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

Is your. Is your ass hair similarly my dead uncle bleached.

[Josh Arnold]

You say ass.

[Chick McGee]

You think Pat has ass hair?

[Christy Lee]

He doesn't have acid.

[Chick McGee]

They'll tell us you and I don't have ass.

[Tom Griswold]

Remember how Bob famously had that looked like he had a ferret coming out of his gluteal cleft. It's just like, very odd. Sorry. Sorry. Bob, we have a number of letters here.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that's exactly right. Letters on the Bob and Tom Show. Brought to you by sleep number. Sleep number bed. Who wants to go on their sleep number bed? Say hi.

[Christy Lee]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

Those opposed? Tom, your turn.

[Tom Griswold]

Letter reading. I'm. Well, the letters I was going to read, I can't read right now. Because you can do it.

[Josh Arnold]

We believe in you.

[Tom Griswold]

No, we needed a special guest in the studio for me to read, and that apparently can't happen for technical reasons.

[Josh Arnold]

Here's a culinary tip. Mike says my wife mixes Caesars and ranch dressing for her salads. Christy, I know you're out.

[Christy Lee]

I'm out? Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

He says don't knock it till you try it.

[Chick McGee]

No kidding.

[Josh Arnold]

Peace, love, and mashed potatoes. Would you guys try that?

[Chick McGee]

I would. I would try that.

[Josh Arnold]

Cut the Caesar a little.

[Tom Griswold]

Why ruin a good Caesar?

[Josh Arnold]

You know I'm with you when you want Caesar, you want that tang. You want that flavor.

[Chick McGee]

What's it taste like, that blue cheese? Is. That's. That's bitey.

[Christy Lee]

Is it bite dressing or blue cheese crumbles?

[Josh Arnold]

All of it is.

[Chick McGee]

All of it.

[Josh Arnold]

I wish I liked it.

[Tom Griswold]

No blue cheese in a salad.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, I love the crumbles. Hate that you don't like the.

[Tom Griswold]

No blue cheese.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that's.

[Tom Griswold]

That. That changes us.

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

The man who should be a Cesar

[Josh Arnold]

salad, by the way, is that true?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Why are you saying that?

[Tom Griswold]

Because it was invented by a guy named Cesar in Mexico.

[Josh Arnold]

How do you. How do you know? He still didn't pronounce it Caesar.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, he lives in Mexico. He doesn't do it for the convenience of American broadcast English.

[Josh Arnold]

This is a mistake I made last week in real life. All right? I'm talking to a Mexican gentleman. L U, I S. Is his name Luis?

[Christy Lee]

Luis.

[Josh Arnold]

Yep, yep. And I said, look, man, it's really great talking to you, Luis. And he goes, louis, no kidding. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Huh.

[Josh Arnold]

And I wanted to go, aren't you from Mexico? I wanted to go.

[Tom Griswold]

Now.

[Josh Arnold]

Did you change it to Lewis? Because so many people just called you Lewis or Luis.

[Christy Lee]

You had it right.

[Chick McGee]

My favorite is Jose Maria Valdar or something. The NBC Nightly News on Saturday.

[Tom Griswold]

He's great.

[Chick McGee]

He drips the. He has the accent when he. He has just a straight ahead flat accent. Unless he gets to something Spanish, he

[Tom Griswold]

puts the stank on Mr. Ballard. Yeah, he's my favorite newscaster.

[Josh Arnold]

I love that.

[Chick McGee]

No kidding.

[Tom Griswold]

And he always ends it with a great. He says something like, thank you for the. The privilege of allowing me to eat. That guy's great.

[Chick McGee]

Well, that sounds like groveling to me.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, he's just.

[Josh Arnold]

He's.

[Tom Griswold]

He's classic.

[Josh Arnold]

I know from Grove.

[Tom Griswold]

My favorite was Christy and I. This. We used to go to the same grocery store that used to have.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, when you were a couple. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, but it used. They used to have a smoothie bar.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Which for reasons I can't understand, why did they got rid of it? Who knows? But one of the guys that worked there, I was. I'd go there all the time, and I kind of got to know him, but I was behind some lady one day, and she was some, you know, suburban white chick, if you will.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, how dare they exist.

[Tom Griswold]

You can imagine. And she dec. She decided to test her Spanish on him, and this guy looks at like, what the. I don't speak Spanish. She just assumed.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my God, he was.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, God, that was so funny.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. You gotta Know, you gotta make sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it was hilarious.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm sorry, did you guys. You and after she left, were you guys howling?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, he goes. This. His visage might make one assume that he was of a certain ethnicity, when in fact. Absolutely not. He goes.

[Chick McGee]

My mom's Italian.

[Tom Griswold]

He's a great guy. Still see him. He works at a different place.

[Chick McGee]

Dear Bob and Tom show. I heard you guys talking about Reese's Peanut Butter cup toothpaste. Yep, we're talking about that.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, yesterday it's a. It's a.

[Christy Lee]

You may have left.

[Tom Griswold]

It's. It's being test marketed in Australia, New Zealand and it's. It is endorsed by Reese's.

[Christy Lee]

Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

And it's peanut butter flavored toothpaste. Sugar free. Yeah, me too.

[Josh Arnold]

No, I want that minty mouth fresh.

[Chick McGee]

Feel clean. Okay, we've got mint, we've got peanut butter cup. And now we've got. Ladies and gentlemen, Kentucky Fried Chicken toothpaste. I think I might be in fried chicken flavored toothpaste.

[Tom Griswold]

That's real?

[Chick McGee]

Yes. His smile. You know how the Colonel Smile logo. There it is.

[Josh Arnold]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Is it currently being marketed?

[Chick McGee]

I picked this up while I was browsing around a place called the Marketplace. I thought you'd get a kick out of it. Love the show. It's Tim from Georgia.

[Christy Lee]

I do.

[Josh Arnold]

Man, oh man.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, I want to see if I still out there.

[Josh Arnold]

What's that, Ace? Fluoride free.

[Christy Lee]

Fluoride free. Oh, well, some people don't want their fluoride in their toothpaste.

[Josh Arnold]

Has all kinds of keep your hands

[Chick McGee]

off my guns and fluoride off my

[Josh Arnold]

tooth toothbrushes and toothpastes and everything like that. So it must have been a. Oh,

[Tom Griswold]

and limited edition deal is. Are you looking at the same thing I am? Which is it's in Australia.

[Josh Arnold]

Not. I'm not.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. This is really his smile. Australia. KFC toothpaste.

[Christy Lee]

Why does Australia get all the fun toothpaste?

[Josh Arnold]

What's going on?

[Chick McGee]

They think they have kangaroo and it's kangaroo. Fried chicken.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Somebody served fried kangaroo or something.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. You think that would kfk.

[Christy Lee]

That's got to be muscle.

[Chick McGee]

Why hasn't every anyone ever said let's eat. What's a kangaroo taste like? Why don't we cook?

[Tom Griswold]

We did.

[Chick McGee]

Did we eat it?

[Tom Griswold]

We had kangaroo in here.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, did you? Was it in jerky form or. Because I've seen kangaroo.

[Chick McGee]

This is the epitome of. We've had that on the show.

[Christy Lee]

We've had kangaroo.

[Chick McGee]

We've had kangaroo.

[Christy Lee]

We would remember that.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, don't you remember, Chick? You ate it and it had a certain effect on you.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, it was jittery and I got real jumpy.

[Josh Arnold]

Sorry.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, they.

[Chick McGee]

No, no, I was right along.

[Tom Griswold]

They did try doing. This is true. They did try doing. You're not gonna believe me.

[Christy Lee]

You're right.

[Tom Griswold]

A rabbit fast food thing in this. In the mid. I think it was mid-70s or 80s.

[Christy Lee]

It was 80s.

[Chick McGee]

I don't believe any of it was

[Tom Griswold]

called Bunny King, Home of the hopper.

[Chick McGee]

I don't.

[Pat Godwin]

That's pretty funny.

[Tom Griswold]

That was not the name

[Christy Lee]

of our story.

[Tom Griswold]

They did. They did do a rabbit thing.

[Christy Lee]

They did try that.

[Chick McGee]

And yesterday we had the first example of a visual Thomism where Tom can't think of the word and he says, like, what was it? Wind cooker for an air dryer.

[Tom Griswold]

I forgot when you're trying to speak, sometimes you can't think of the name of something and it. Just describe it. Yeah, sure.

[Chick McGee]

Well, this is a new business. This is from Joan. Good morning. I don't mind bothering you at work. Tom started a new business on the side. This is an aquarium and it is called the Liquid Zoo.

[Christy Lee]

I love that.

[Chick McGee]

That's an aquarium. Fish for sale.

[Christy Lee]

That is great.

[Tom Griswold]

That's funny.

[Josh Arnold]

That is good.

[Tom Griswold]

That's an actual legit store.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I'd remember Liquid Zoo. Cool. Yeah. What are they? Stone and concrete? What is it? Brick and mortar?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

See, there you go. He just demonstrated how it works.

[Chick McGee]

There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

The stone and concrete just certainly is valid.

[Josh Arnold]

You mentioned the Reese's toothpaste. Well, Jason and Annie ride in and I believe annie is his 12 year old daughter. But he has. If it's not. Jason has a 12 year old daughter. She wrote a joke for us, which is one of my favorite things, kids writing comedy. She heard that we all love Reese's and she said, she said she came up with this joke for us. What do you call Reese's that come in trios?

[Chick McGee]

Reese and Trios.

[Josh Arnold]

Threeses. So, yes. Thank you, sweetie.

[Tom Griswold]

There's a future for Reader's Digest humor in uniform.

[Josh Arnold]

Terrific joke. Very, very nice from Bowling Green.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much. Coming up in a few minutes, we're going to have an interesting callback to yesterday's program. I don't want to give it away right now because it's kind of. It's kind of interesting.

[Chick McGee]

Dear Bob and top show, first and foremost. Thank you, Chick for the heads up on the documentary on Prime Amazon called Soul Power. There's four episodes about the aba. It's very Good.

[Christy Lee]

Check out the waiting game to another one.

[Chick McGee]

Dr. J's on there. Secondly, with all the discussion regarding appliances picking up the radio broadcast. Tom, you were saying your toaster would pick up.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, no, it's true.

[Chick McGee]

I stand there in the kitchen.

[Tom Griswold]

I used to live, probably as the crow flies, maybe 500 yards from the radio towers. There are some AM radio towers on this property.

[Christy Lee]

If you could only get across the creek, you would have been able to walk to work.

[Tom Griswold]

I could have. I could have walked here in five minutes, but there was a creek in the wood. The point being, my toaster would. I could hear the AM signal. So I could hear it at the time passively. You didn't have to do anything at the time. I could hear sports talk.

[Chick McGee]

Tune in your toaster, which you guys must remember. There was a Gilligan's island episode where Gilligan is getting broadcast through his teeth.

[Christy Lee]

I remember that.

[Chick McGee]

You remember that? The professor, either the dumbest smartest guy or the smartest dumb guy proves this is happening. There. That's Paul.

[Tom Griswold]

And again, the Professor. He could turn three coconuts in a rock into a shortwave radio. But he couldn't build a boat.

[Christy Lee]

I know. Couldn't get him off the island.

[Tom Griswold]

Pretty much. Simple premise, by the way.

[Christy Lee]

I don't remember.

[Josh Arnold]

They had to have murdered Gilligan. Yeah, because they were always so close to getting rescued. He ruined it.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, now, here's an idea. Wait, hear me out on this. The. The Archies, which was kind of a sort of generic comic.

[Chick McGee]

I beg your pardon?

[Tom Griswold]

It's been around for quite some time. Not the band, but Archie. Archie.

[Chick McGee]

Got it.

[Tom Griswold]

Was turned into a rather hip, dark TV series called Riverdale.

[Christy Lee]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

How about this for an idea? And Pat? You'd have to do the theme song. The Gilligan's island theme song. Make it real dark. Okay, I could do that. Change. Change it up a little bit. What if they took Gilligan's island and

[Chick McGee]

made it real serious and made Gilligan a serial killer?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

What do you think of that?

[Tom Griswold]

I think Mrs. Howell.

[Christy Lee]

You think she would do it?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. Oh, actually, the one I never trusted was Tina Louise, by the way, for a three hour tour. Hell of a wardrobe.

[Christy Lee]

No joke. Well, you know people like that, don't you? They pack for a weekend. I just.

[Chick McGee]

So you'd go a ginger. Not Marianne, Huh?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, no, no, no, no.

[Chick McGee]

This is how.

[Tom Griswold]

No, Marianne is the one. Marianne, Absolutely. She was in here.

[Christy Lee]

She was next door.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, she was very nice.

[Christy Lee]

But yeah, you're still alive.

[Tom Griswold]

Remember how I went on a very short ski trip the other day.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

One of the girls on the trip had a suitcase. I could barely lift it for three days for a three day trip. And there were no. There was no ski stuff. There was no.

[Chick McGee]

There was no. Sorry, did you say someone in your entourage?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

No ski boots?

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, it's amazing how many outfits that. Oh, there we go. Here's Jeffrey. Jeff, I was. I'm glad you're here. First of all, I just got this letter. There was a rabbit themed fast food chain in Kalamazoo, Michigan, founded in 1984 called Hot Now.

[Christy Lee]

I think we definitely talked about their mascot.

[Tom Griswold]

They're Hot and now Hot and now. Their mascot was a speedy cartoon rabbit. They had Fast as a rabbit service. However, it doesn't appear that they served rabbit.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

I wonder if they had car hops.

[Josh Arnold]

I went to one of those places. A rabbit themed restaurant.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

I got a hair in my mouth.

[Tom Griswold]

Not used to that, huh?

[Josh Arnold]

Not these days, my friend.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Jeffrey, yesterday you had an idea you wanted to take to Shark Tank, right. And do you remember what it was?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Why? Mice flavored cat food. Yeah, Mice flavored cat food.

[Tom Griswold]

After we got off the air, I did a little homework. There is a mouse based cat food.

[Chick McGee]

No, there's.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, there is. There is. You can see right there. It's called Mouser.

[Chick McGee]

Rabbit and mouse.

[Tom Griswold]

They have. They have a variety. They have. They have chicken and mouse. They have rabbit and mouse. This is canned cat food.

[Chick McGee]

That's because your kitten enjoys the very best.

[Tom Griswold]

It says Mouser is the primary specialized brand offering canned cat food containing real ethically sourced mouse meat.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Mixed with protein, including rabbit, duck and turkey. Designed to mirror a cat's natural ancestral diet. This is real flavor.

[Chick McGee]

Has the turkey and mouse is the forest hunter, rabbit, mouse, brush hunter, chicken mouse, field hunter and pond hunter. It tastes like it has duck and mouse in it.

[Tom Griswold]

And we were trying to name it. As far as I can tell, this is in the usa. I just started going around the Internet and found this stuff.

[Pat Godwin]

20 bucks a can.

[Josh Arnold]

It might be.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I mean, the way dog food is now, there are some. There are some dog foods out there that cost more than people food.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my God. Trust me. Are you. You're the only cat person. Do you. Would you serve your cat this?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, if I find it, I will. I'll see if you can try it. Oh, Gravy likes it. She eats. Her dry food is rabbit. So that's. That's what she has.

[Chick McGee]

No kidding.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

And the Wet food is salmon or white fish or chicken.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, now this says Dear Bob and Tom Show. Tell Jeff cancel his appointment with Shark Tank. I work for a veterinary hospital in Mason, Michigan. There is a cat food made of mice. It's available by request. The brand we order is called Mouser.

[Christy Lee]

There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

And its contents are mouse and rabbit. So this person found out.

[Josh Arnold]

Just got my ticket, my plane ticket to Shark Tank.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I think maybe. I think if you give it a spin and make it remember, we. What was the name we had like Myceroni. Here's one. Dear Tom spitballing here. How about to move that mouse? Kibble of mice and meow.

[Josh Arnold]

I like that.

[Chick McGee]

Feels a little clunky.

[Tom Griswold]

Make it Pied Piper foods. This is the suggestion here.

[Josh Arnold]

Someone suggested to me meow. Meese.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, oh.

[Josh Arnold]

Instead of mix.

[Tom Griswold]

And then we had the Steinbeck of mice and meow.

[Josh Arnold]

See what you missed, Chick?

[Chick McGee]

I think we're getting a little bit too long hair here. A little bit too confusing. What about Mises pieces? Right.

[Pat Godwin]

That was a. Yeah, we did.

[Josh Arnold]

We talked about that.

[Tom Griswold]

I like Maestroni.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Then I googled what city in America has the most mice. Anyone want to guess?

[Pat Godwin]

Well, we said New York, didn't we?

[Tom Griswold]

Apparently the answer is Chicago. And I'm not sure where they got that stat, but my daughter will tell

[Christy Lee]

you about it because she's got them in her apartment all the time.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, how about Mice Krispies?

[Tom Griswold]

Very good. Or Mouse Crispies? Either one. Chef boy or Mousey? I don't know. Thank you, Jeffrey. Very fine. Comedian Jeff Oskay. Coming up, we have dachshunds in the news, cute little doggies.

[Chick McGee]

And a solution for Christy's problem. Yesterday. She wanted to spruce up her bathroom.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

She needs some help.

[Tom Griswold]

Bathroom decor. You have a good tip for that?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

I was really hoping somebody would come through.

[Chick McGee]

And it'll be coming up next.

[Tom Griswold]

All right, I'm looking forward to that. Once again, These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Thanks for joining us. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Tom Griswold]

Shirt.

[Chick McGee]

And welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

And her cowboy boots. You got a cowboy boots.

[Tom Griswold]

Those are nice.

[Chick McGee]

I want a picture of those.

[Christy Lee]

All right, we'll get one next.

[Chick McGee]

All right, there's Pat Godwin pose for you.

[Pat Godwin]

Both pose together.

[Chick McGee]

And his cowboy shirt. There's Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

Just. Just being Josh. Josh. Josh is Josh. There's Ace Cosby. I'm Chick. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Christy had an idea earlier that I've turned into a concept, and it would be, go on Shark Tank and walk up there with like 10 people behind you of different sizes and different genders.

[Josh Arnold]

All right.

[Chick McGee]

And all the same color.

[Tom Griswold]

No, not necessarily. Oh, this could be a diverse group.

[Josh Arnold]

That reason I'm out. What if one of the. We found out one of the sharks was crazy.

[Chick McGee]

Crazy.

[Josh Arnold]

As soon as, like, two not white people walk.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm sorry, you're. You're Filipino. For that reason. For that reason, I'm out.

[Chick McGee]

And why isn't Damon on the other side of the studio? That was specific in my concert.

[Tom Griswold]

So you go on shark tape, but in other words, you have a diverse group of human beings standing behind you. And because your idea of. Christy, your problem is your cowboy boots are new, you need to break them in.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

And this would be a service in which you get a photo of these gents of ladies behind me. They have different shoe sizes.

[Chick McGee]

So a team of people.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a team of human beings who are kind of down in their luck. So the concept here.

[Chick McGee]

So you can take advantage of.

[Tom Griswold]

So the concept here is you will give them your shoes and they'll walk around with them.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Looking for jobs and in the process of that, break in your shoes. So it's. It's a. It's a. It's a good.

[Josh Arnold]

You know what he just pitched?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Because I didn't.

[Chick McGee]

It hits.

[Josh Arnold]

Clouded it with so much.

[Chick McGee]

It hints of slavery. Yeah, well, it.

[Josh Arnold]

Hints of. Well, let's go with indentured servitude.

[Chick McGee]

There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

There you go.

[Christy Lee]

I did not pitch that, by the way. I just want to go on record now.

[Chick McGee]

Breaking in shoes for other people is a real company. Often done by friends with similar foot sizes or as a service by professionals to spare the owner from blisters listers

[Josh Arnold]

and discuss, you know, what happens in Nashville, all that. You think Morgan Wallen ever wore a pair of cowboy boots?

[Tom Griswold]

I think he probably did. I think there are some others.

[Christy Lee]

And it's. But cowboy boots especially mold to your feet, so it's very important to break them in.

[Tom Griswold]

But aren't you supposed to get them soaking wet and wear them barefoot?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, are you. I don't know. Is that true?

[Josh Arnold]

That's a good way to ruin the boot. Overall.

[Chick McGee]

I think this is sometimes.

[Josh Arnold]

No, no, no.

[Chick McGee]

I'm just sometimes joked about. It says here, but the Queen, Queen Elizabeth QE2, she had a couple of people on the staff, same size feet, and she would. Those people would break.

[Tom Griswold]

Ironically, it was it was. It was a. You've heard of them? A footman?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

I always wondered what they did.

[Tom Griswold]

Madame, you're. Yes. You're a size six.

[Chick McGee]

Would you like to hear some tips for breaking in your shoes?

[Tom Griswold]

I would very much wear thick socks.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I tried that today. I put them on and I went, nope, I can't do this.

[Chick McGee]

Use a hair dryer on high heat to soften the heel. Can help with breaking in, particularly in stiffer shoes.

[Josh Arnold]

Have you tried that, Christy?

[Christy Lee]

No, I haven't.

[Josh Arnold]

Now, this is for any kind of shoe, right? Or presumably leather. Your Skechers slip ins don't usually need broken in.

[Pat Godwin]

Those Crocs will melt with a hairdryer.

[Chick McGee]

Now, here's a key tip. And I stuck. I don't know how you didn't have something to do with this, Tom, but they would like to make it known if the shoe is the wrong size, it will never break in properly.

[Tom Griswold]

No kidding.

[Chick McGee]

So don't.

[Tom Griswold]

So can we get back to my. My pitch to Shark Tank?

[Chick McGee]

Go ahead. Yes. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

I'd like you to meet the folks behind me. They could step forward and state your name, and then you have a guy walk out, and in various languages interpret step forward and say, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, here's the thing.

[Christy Lee]

Is this gonna be like Cinderella and you have to try the shoes on everybody?

[Tom Griswold]

We have Gl Romania.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It's.

[Josh Arnold]

It's foreign homeless people.

[Tom Griswold]

They're gonna earn some money. Break in your shoes. How does that differ from the queen having a footman? I. I'm gonna call it. I would call it Walk a mile in My Shoes. Pat, can you write a song called that? I could.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Or maybe. Maybe. Was. Was that one? Baby, don't you walk so fast.

[Chick McGee]

Daddy, Daddy.

[Tom Griswold]

That was a good one, too. I like that song.

[Chick McGee]

I heard my love.

[Tom Griswold]

He.

[Josh Arnold]

Where's he going?

[Chick McGee]

Don't you. He's out of this family.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

You know what? He's got some young stuff on the side of the town, you know, so

[Josh Arnold]

he's not like, a traveling salesman. And we back in two weeks.

[Chick McGee]

No, it's.

[Josh Arnold]

He's gone.

[Chick McGee]

No, his wife is a harpy, and he's got to get away from her.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, so it's her fault?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Don't you walk so fast. My daughter's crying.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, Daddy.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, so why. Why doesn't the daughter go, mommy, why Stop banging all the neighborhood guys? Well, shouldn't that be the same?

[Tom Griswold]

We'll have to call Mr. Newton and ask him.

[Chick McGee]

I'm concerned. No one called on me. On or. Or took me to task for the term young stuff.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, no, we heard it.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. All right, go ahead. I mean, I was perfectly fine, thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, well, when we come back, we'll try to get the show back on the road. I'm not sure what just happened. I blame myself. Coming up, Ali Breen with Sexy Time. We have a bizarre story coming from the Dominican Republic.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Really odd.

[Christy Lee]

Do we have that video? Is that.

[Tom Griswold]

We're trying to find it. Okay, we have wiener dogs in the news.

[Chick McGee]

Is Tom Brady gonna end up wrestling in the wwe? He's got a.

[Josh Arnold]

Why not?

[Chick McGee]

Why not?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my gosh.

[Tom Griswold]

Wouldn't you just love to see Tom

[Christy Lee]

Brady and Pat McAfee? There you go.

[Chick McGee]

There's a beef.

[Tom Griswold]

I'd love to see that, cuz. Pat would kick his ass. Pat would pick him up and throw him over the ropes. They'd be doing a chalk line super bowl crunch. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios at the new center. It's Christy Lee and her cowboy boot.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Pat Godwin.

[Josh Arnold]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

We just got a picture of them. They'll be up on the socials here in a second. There's Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

Ace Cosby. I'm Chick mcgee and Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

We have more letters to get to. Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Let's see.

[Tom Griswold]

Dear Bob and Tom Show. All right. My. I'm sorry. I was shopping at a gift store with my wife in Florida. Says Paul in Daytona Beach.

[Josh Arnold]

Sounds miserable.

[Christy Lee]

I mean, sounds like a wonderful husband.

[Chick McGee]

I'd rather staple my tongue.

[Tom Griswold]

When I pointed to fish art hanging on the wall.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

And paused, thinking what it was made of and said, look, hon, it's made of ocean sticks. She said, no, dummy, that's driftwood. My brain is catching up. Ocean sticks. I like that.

[Josh Arnold]

I do, too.

[Tom Griswold]

Ocean sticks. That sounds like a nice.

[Josh Arnold]

This letter comes to us from Lori, which is British for truck. Thanks, Josh. Yes, you're welcome.

[Tom Griswold]

But wouldn't that be kind of an insult? Does anyone. Does anyone spell their name? Laurie. L, O, R, R, Y.

[Josh Arnold]

Not. Not that I've seen, but. Yeah, I've not seen that.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't think I've seen. L, O, R. I.

[Josh Arnold]

Sure. We were discussing yesterday. Hourglasses or hours? Glass.

[Chick McGee]

Sand. Sand bowls.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Somebody had called it a sand globe.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

And as a Thomism. And we were discussing hourglasses and whether or not you could put the ashes of somebody in an hourglass.

[Christy Lee]

Correct.

[Josh Arnold]

Whenever my family played games Says truck. We would have to bring out an hourglass timer because my dad would take forever to make a move. So when he died, we had him cremated and we had his ashes put into an hourglass. And now whenever we play games, he can still join us. Isn't that nice?

[Chick McGee]

That isn't a Hallmark movie.

[Tom Griswold]

I think you had suggested that possibility, but we were concerned that the consistency.

[Josh Arnold]

Right. So, Laurie, please write back and let us know if you had to add it with sand or if it was just the ashes. How that works.

[Tom Griswold]

I should know this. I. Because the cremated remains that I've. I've seen are typically very powdery powder.

[Josh Arnold]

Like, you cleaned your fireplace, right? Yeah, maybe a little.

[Chick McGee]

Like.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, like. Yeah, very powder almost.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah, that's.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But. Yeah, maybe if you mix them with sand. But what a great idea.

[Christy Lee]

They could make little ones for everybody in the family and they could take dad with them wherever they went.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

That's what my family did.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah. That's insane.

[Pat Godwin]

You each had tiny urns.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I have a tiny heart that has part of my dad.

[Tom Griswold]

I just got one from your. Your boyfriend Andy. What said, yes, please get one. And then when Christy starts talking, I'll turn it up. And then as soon as it's run its course, she has to be quiet.

[Chick McGee]

Hello, Bob and Tom show.

[Josh Arnold]

A buddy of mine had an idea. He was going to walk around with a little recorder that had a orchestra playing. So if somebody was talking too long, he would just hit it. Then the orchestra would start playing him.

[Tom Griswold]

Playing him, Playing him.

[Christy Lee]

Like the Academy Awards.

[Chick McGee]

We'll be right back with.

[Tom Griswold]

Remember we had the bit announcer guy.

[Christy Lee]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

With a guy. Which we did like 20 years ago. That's now a commercial. I don't know if you've seen.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, it is.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Is he doing the voice?

[Chick McGee]

That's not the top show. Chrissy, you were talking about. You have an eyesore. Can you. In your bathroom.

[Christy Lee]

My bathroom? I have a water pick.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, my God.

[Christy Lee]

I don't care for it on my bathroom counter. Don't blame you.

[Chick McGee]

I can't imagine how you get up and I don't like looking at it. Press you.

[Tom Griswold]

You.

[Chick McGee]

You push through to the day with that thing sitting there on your. Anyway, this is from Jenny. I just saw these on Etsy. She says they're so pretty and they have different cylinder colors and different sizes. There you go. Look at that. Now that's a toothbrush holder and the decanter, if you will. But I'm sure they make something a

[Christy Lee]

Little wider for the close to that water pick.

[Chick McGee]

You'd go over the water pick.

[Tom Griswold]

So it's sort of a cylinder. Like a cylinder the size of a tennis ball can. Yeah, but it's kind of made basket. Yeah, it reminds flowers on top. And you would put it on top of your toothbrush.

[Chick McGee]

It looks like a dildo holder is what it looks like.

[Christy Lee]

Kind of. You could do that, dude.

[Josh Arnold]

You know somebody's using it for that. And why wouldn't they?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that'd be a shame. You know, grandma comes over and she knocked. She knocks it over and I knocked over your flowers. And what's this? The big Vayner. This reminds me of Uncle Clarence.

[Chick McGee]

Grandma, what's this big vein?

[Josh Arnold]

You know, Grandma, remember in parenthood when they're looking for a flashlight?

[Chick McGee]

Oh yeah. Tom's favorite line from that scene is don't worry, dad, we can still find the bar.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, that's very funny.

[Chick McGee]

Dear Bob and Tom show this from Mike in Cincinnati. Just letting you know and reminding me. And I'd forgotten that you can get ground kangaroo at jungle gyms. That's the grocery store that has each and every everything on the ever invented.

[Christy Lee]

That is an amazing store.

[Chick McGee]

Mike says I get ground kangaroo. I cook it with some Manwich. I put it in a PETA pocket and I call them Sloppy Joey's.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that's pretty good. They're even the PETA pocket for the pouch.

[Chick McGee]

Get out of here with that.

[Pat Godwin]

We are done now.

[Josh Arnold]

That's. That's brilliant.

[Chick McGee]

My gosh.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, we were wondering. Yesterday we got talking about the cat food that should be invented made of mice. And it turns out there in fact is one mouser. It's called mouser. And. And we were talking about it about an hour ago. We were also. Someone used the phrase I hate Mises to pieces.

[Josh Arnold]

I loved that cartoon.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, Jinx the cat.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And we were trying to remember. It was Mr. Jinx the orange cat from Pixie and Dixie.

[Christy Lee]

We couldn't remember that yesterday we needed you.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah. That was one of my favorite.

[Josh Arnold]

And that guy made me laugh a lot.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, me too.

[Chick McGee]

That's the. A Hannah Barbera stable, I believe.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. That was an offshoot of the Huckleberry Hound show. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

And Trixie and Dixie were the cutest little mice.

[Tom Griswold]

But hot.

[Chick McGee]

What was the.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't remember. How can you deliver the line? I hate me.

[Chick McGee]

I can't remember how Jinx would say it. It was kind of snaggle puss.

[Christy Lee]

Did he got the same guy do the voice?

[Tom Griswold]

I think So I wonder.

[Chick McGee]

I think dog.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, he was kind of.

[Josh Arnold]

It was. Yeah, it was kind of goofy and kind of of not goofy. Yeah, that's what I'm kind of remembering.

[Christy Lee]

It was higher than that.

[Tom Griswold]

We'll have to dig it up because I do remember that phrase.

[Chick McGee]

And.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And here's someone, Jack, in Linden, Pennsylvania. Is that. We're near where you grew up.

[Pat Godwin]

No, I don't know where that.

[Tom Griswold]

He goes. He goes. I hate mises to pieces. Mr. Jinx, the enemy of the mice, Pixie and Dixie. P.S. i watched way too many cartoons as a kid.

[Josh Arnold]

That's no such thing as watching.

[Christy Lee]

We all did. That's what you did.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, thank you very much. How do you get a hold of us?

[Christy Lee]

Christy Lee at bob and [e-mail].

[Chick McGee]

that'll work.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, thank you very much.

[Christy Lee]

You're welcome.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up, it's going to be sexy time with Ali Breen. We love hearing from you. We also have some news from the world of sports. And there was a. Was the big deadline yesterday.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. The tag franchise. Franchise tags. And we'll go over that. And it looks like Kyler. Kyler Murray, former quarterback.

[Josh Arnold]

The.

[Chick McGee]

The Arizona Cardinals, not official yet, but that looks like that's where that's headed. Performance enhancing drugs raises their collective heads in Major League Baseball again. Going to take a look at that. The World Baseball Championships coming up. Tom, you got your seats? You got. You ready to watch USA take on the world baseball.

[Tom Griswold]

Where's that taking place?

[Chick McGee]

Various sites all around the world. Tom, just wonderful. Wow. What do we got here?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, speaking of baseball, we have a big story coming out of the Dominican Republic that does not necessarily necessarily involve baseball. We'll get to that.

[Chick McGee]

Is that your favorite republic? The Dominican Republic?

[Tom Griswold]

Plato's Republic.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, Sure.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, that's got to be just because it formed so many of the foundations of a republic.

[Chick McGee]

Top five republics. Yeah, that was, you know.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they've relocated it. I don't know where they put it.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm not too sure.

[Tom Griswold]

I think it's like southern Greece. I'm not sure.

[Chick McGee]

So Greek. All right.

[Tom Griswold]

So great. Now that's all on the way. Coming up in the news, we have a lot of delightful things, including a thing that I think Josh had talked about once before, which is, you know those microchips you have implanted in your dogs?

[Christy Lee]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

What about in people?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, that.

[Tom Griswold]

We're gonna find out what's going on in the world of that and the law. Coming up from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Thanks for Listening. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Hello and welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. I think I'm going to take a lover.

[Josh Arnold]

That was your best. Gloria Swanson.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, there's Christy Lee. She's at the news desk.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Pat Godwin. Hello, Josh Arnold. Yeah. Oh, what if those. Those two Gloria Swanson and that guy were married? Hello, darling.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I love that.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, there's Ace Cosby.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

I'm checking Chick McGee. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello, Chick McGee. Got a letter I wanted to get to one of our most loyal listeners.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Pat Lennon took the time and opportunity to write us and it's. This is. This has a payoff. It may be a little long. I apologize.

[Chick McGee]

I hope he has a friend with the last name of Marks. That's all.

[Josh Arnold]

I hope Marks and Lennon hanging out.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. You know, and Lennon.

[Tom Griswold]

Read a book.

[Pat Godwin]

Don't sing that song.

[Tom Griswold]

Sorry.

[Chick McGee]

What a performer.

[Tom Griswold]

I recently attended an insurance seminar, writes Pat. I'm sorry.

[Chick McGee]

I fell asleep there real quick.

[Tom Griswold]

I knew. I knew I'd never get Pat. I apologize in advance. Various claims adjusters were trained on how to spot red flags on suspicious claims. We were talking yesterday about the news story about a guy who was skydiving. He was on full disability. They caught him skydiving. And then I told the story of one of our. When I worked at the restaurant, one of the waiters, Handsome Steve, we used to call him, he worked for a detective agency on the side. And he spotted a guy who was on full disability. They got him on video digging by hand a swimming pool in his backyard in Daytona Beach. In any event, he goes. They were showing us various videos. The video had been submitted as proof that what was stolen from a car repair shop. It showed toolboxes and other expensive gear. The person claimed they made the video a few months back. The insurance adjuster had some doubts. The video was played again. We were told to focus on the audio in the background. So you're following me here. There's a shop full of. Some of us laugh and be recognized. In the background was the Bob and Tom Show. You could hear Chick reading an ad that included the following phrase. Join us this weekend for our big Labor Day sale. The alleged theft had taken place in July, so the radio ad was the red flag.

[Christy Lee]

Nice.

[Josh Arnold]

No kidding.

[Chick McGee]

What a public service.

[Tom Griswold]

He says, chalk one up for the Bob and Tom Show.

[Christy Lee]

That's cool.

[Tom Griswold]

Loyal fan since 83. Thank you, Pat. Pat's in Piedmont, South Carolina. He always, always writes his great letters. Thank you, Pat. We certainly appreciate it. Speaking of Pats, Ms. Pat's gonna be our guest coming up just around the corner. And Pat Godwin is anxiously awaiting the arrival of his comedy special on. On Dry bar. Comedy. I've heard they've penciled it in for this decade. Man. Man will set foot on the moon before that thing hits the airwaves.

[Pat Godwin]

They're using the aging. Aging filter. De. Aging filters. So it's taking some time.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, okay. We'll look forward to that. But you. You're gonna play us a song, is that correct?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, I'm in a country mode. You want to hear?

[Josh Arnold]

I have a new.

[Pat Godwin]

I have a new country character.

[Josh Arnold]

Character?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, dude.

[Tom Griswold]

Chris.

[Pat Godwin]

Chris Pistroff again.

[Josh Arnold]

All right.

[Pat Godwin]

The sexist singer songwriter.

[Josh Arnold]

Chris pissed her off again.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay, this may not work.

[Chick McGee]

This may not work.

[Pat Godwin]

Drop a few and comb your hair. Wash edition. Use a broom. Put some makeup on your face. Stop watching TV in your room. You could be working during the day. Oh, you know, it isn't very hard. Go out and get a job. I'll help you squeeze into the car. Why don't you get up off that couch? You're getting such a huge rear end. Cook up something in the kitchen. We're not doing takeout again. Baby, please put down that gun. I didn't mean to start a fight. I took a shotgun to the chest. I hope I make it through the night. Chris pissed her off again.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, that's classic Chris, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Might be the last time.

[Pat Godwin]

What do you think?

[Chick McGee]

It's all right.

[Josh Arnold]

Very nice.

[Tom Griswold]

Fat ass with a gun. Okay, well, on that note, we'll switch gears here and check into the sporting

[Chick McGee]

scene with Chick McGee from the NFL. Arizona Cardinals have informed two time Pro bowl quarterback and Christie sized Kyler Murray that they plan to release him at the beginning of the new league year. On. Write this down, Tom. New league year for the NFL. March 11th.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you celebrate New Year?

[Chick McGee]

So March 10th is. Yeah. New Year's Eve, NFL New Year's Eve, and then Happy New Year. Are you with me? Are you in me? Okay, person familiar with the situation says Murray is owed. Josh, make sure you catch Christy if she fails.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, God.

[Chick McGee]

Murray is owed $36.8 million in guaranteed money.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, geez.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, it wouldn't have gone to you.

[Chick McGee]

We'll be free to shine once he's released.

[Josh Arnold]

No reason to get upset about other people grabbing that bag.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, there is.

[Chick McGee]

There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

If you were offered 37 million, if you'd do more than grab that bag, you'd Slurp that thing.

[Chick McGee]

Well,

[Josh Arnold]

yeah. You know what? He's talking to me and he's right.

[Tom Griswold]

And so, so would I. Yeah. 37 million. I don't care. You call me gay, I'll go for it.

[Chick McGee]

That's right. Grab that bag. There's Christie grabbing that bag. Working that back.

[Tom Griswold]

Christy.

[Chick McGee]

I got it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

This is the artist formerly known as Young mc.

[Chick McGee]

Geriatric mc.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. At what point do artists that call themselves Lil something have to get rid of that boy? Stevie Wonder jettisoned it pretty early. He was little Stevie Wonder.

[Chick McGee]

A little Bow wows.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, Bow wow got rid of little Romeo.

[Christy Lee]

Is he still that? Or does he know about Romeo now?

[Chick McGee]

I heard the Capulets or the Montagues.

[Tom Griswold]

So, Christy, I stopped at our friends at Movable Feast and I had lunch yesterday.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, I almost did.

[Tom Griswold]

Had a delightful bowl of lentil soup.

[Chick McGee]

Did you hear what she said? She almost did that.

[Christy Lee]

I almost did the same thing.

[Chick McGee]

You're sitting there and you're having. And you look up and hear Chrissy comes through the door.

[Tom Griswold]

Just delightful.

[Christy Lee]

I would have carried out and I asked.

[Tom Griswold]

I asked this question. Question I was asking Kathleen, who makes all the great food there is. Do you always have this? Because this is great. I'd like to have this more often. And she said, well, we only do it during Lent.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, lentil soup for Lent.

[Tom Griswold]

And is. Are those connected?

[Christy Lee]

Well, it's just vegetarian. There's no meat in it, so that's probably why.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I think so.

[Tom Griswold]

It's not named after Lent.

[Chick McGee]

No, of course it is. It used to be lending soup. Oh, that's from the. The biblical day when you would take a slurp of soup and pass it to your neigh neighbor.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, on all Lenders Day.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, Lenders day. And then they would take out.

[Tom Griswold]

So it's not just for Lent.

[Pat Godwin]

So, no, they have a delightful Easter. What is it called? Easter Brisk. What is the lobster bisque? There was a joke in there somewhere, but I screwed it up.

[Tom Griswold]

I have no idea. Lobster bisque.

[Chick McGee]

Are you drinking again? Yep, I am.

[Pat Godwin]

I am.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. I think Christie's right. It's more of a. You can almost taste like chili sometimes. It also tastes like.

[Tom Griswold]

It's not. It isn't a lens thing.

[Josh Arnold]

No, no. I think it is more of a.

[Chick McGee]

Lentil is the name of a bean

[Josh Arnold]

and way high fiber, dude.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm hoping.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, you could work on that dynamic problem.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, I'm kidding. Are you kidding?

[Chick McGee]

You want me to get up in there?

[Tom Griswold]

My superhero is Captain Fiber, the Is Hot cross buns. Is that a lint?

[Christy Lee]

That's an inch. Yeah, that's a lint.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

Hot cross bun.

[Pat Godwin]

What is that?

[Christy Lee]

They're just like icing bun with icing

[Chick McGee]

and a tie across.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

And then I gotta go to the strawberries.

[Tom Griswold]

It's also a song played in the recorder by 10 year olds. It's about to drive me out of my mind.

[Chick McGee]

They also have crucifix potato salad. That's really good.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

And. And grape leave thorn crown thorns and Rolling Rock beer.

[Christy Lee]

They're all going to.

[Tom Griswold]

Exactly. All right, thank you. Sorry I brought it up. Okay, back to you.

[Chick McGee]

Where are we and the. Any another NFL note. The Colts place transition tag on quarterback Daniel Jones and say what you want.

[Tom Griswold]

I. I don't. Transitioning is okay with me. And I don't care what you put in your driver's license.

[Chick McGee]

I don't either. Colts opted to use $37.8 million trans size transition tag instead of the 40. Whatever you want to call yourself. That's exactly right. Except for they and Atlanta Braves outfielder from Major League Baseball Jurickson Profar. That's J U R I C K S O N. Profar has been suspended for the 26th season by the MLB for following his second positive test for performance enhancing drugs.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, okay.

[Chick McGee]

Yep. He tested positive for exo.

[Josh Arnold]

Quit being a jerk. Jerkson.

[Tom Griswold]

Exogenous testosterone Chick does a very good. Everett dirksen.

[Christy Lee]

Who's that?

[Chick McGee]

Mr. Speaker, I'm Everett Dirksen from the. Fine. He's the state of Illinois.

[Tom Griswold]

The quintessential old white dude in charge.

[Chick McGee]

D I, R, K S E N. Just like it sounds. Dirksen. Anyway, Profar is in trouble.

[Tom Griswold]

What did he ingest?

[Chick McGee]

He just said drugs. What do you want?

[Tom Griswold]

Which one?

[Josh Arnold]

He named it. And he said it perfectly, by the way.

[Chick McGee]

Exogenous testosterone.

[Tom Griswold]

What does that do?

[Chick McGee]

Well, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that the one that makes your balls bigger?

[Chick McGee]

Standard testosterone is genus. This is outside Exogenous.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, it gives them an insect like shell.

[Chick McGee]

Yes. Exoskeleton and almost un.

[Tom Griswold]

So Daniel Jones is now transitioning. So is he. Do we call him Dana Jones? How does that work?

[Josh Arnold]

I don't think it's. It's.

[Chick McGee]

This is not. Danielle, this is not a lane we

[Tom Griswold]

want to go down. Hey, look, I'm okay with whatever you want to do. And I don't think the state should tell you what to put in your driver's license.

[Chick McGee]

San Francisco Giants ace Logan Webb will start on the mound for Team USA and their first World Baseball Classic game Friday Night against. Against Brazil. That's from manager Mark DeRosa. The 26 World Baseball Classic runs from March 5 through March 17. 20 teams across four global sites. Tokyo, San Juan, Houston and Miami. Pool play takes place March 5th through the 11th quarterfinals in Houston, March 13th and 14th. Then they wrap it up on the 15th and 17th.

[Tom Griswold]

So this is the real World Series.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Other. Other countries and stuff. Do you want me to go over? We're all glad Iran doesn't have a team because they're worried about the soccer competition coming up.

[Josh Arnold]

They don't know what they're going to

[Chick McGee]

do about the World Cup. I mean, they weren't going to win anyway.

[Josh Arnold]

I was going to say, were they big contenders or.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, those suits they had to wear were problematic.

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

You know, the garb they're wearing, the weird robes. It's kind of hard to swing a bat.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, that would be five pounds of

[Tom Griswold]

burlap on your ass.

[Chick McGee]

Tom Brady is continuing his beef with Logan Paul and wwe. He was appeared on Logan Paul's podcast.

[Tom Griswold]

Of course.

[Chick McGee]

Brady went viral after mocking Paul's athletic skills compared to NFL players. Okay, who doesn't get that other than Logan Paul? Brady said, no, you're not. You're not athletically on the level. You're a good athlete. But honestly, when I'm thinking of Saquon Barkley or Lawrence Taylor. I mean, of course, I'm sorry. When you're thinking Saquon Barkley, Quan Barkley or Lawrence Taylor.

[Pat Godwin]

Lawrence Taylor.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

Where's my cocaine?

[Chick McGee]

Did he sound drunk as a monkey when he did that?

[Pat Godwin]

I am.

[Tom Griswold]

Was trying to recover from whatever that was about. Lobster after two great songs. And then, I mean, I don't even know what the realm of that joke was.

[Pat Godwin]

Easter Bis.

[Tom Griswold]

Brady Fist.

[Chick McGee]

No, Mr. Fist.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you kidding me?

[Chick McGee]

Please stop.

[Tom Griswold]

Mr. F. Thank you very much.

[Chick McGee]

Then Brady said, no, no, you guys. You guys in the wrestling world are cute.

[Christy Lee]

Cute.

[Chick McGee]

You're very cute, but this is the NFL and real football, real competition. I mean, come on.

[Tom Griswold]

He's right.

[Chick McGee]

Well, of course he's right.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

And I doubt he would have said the cute stuff if Logan had been more honest upfront about. Yeah, you know what? You guys are tremendous athletes. And we don't do the exact.

[Chick McGee]

I think gone are the days that we're make. We act like it's all real and we don't know what's going to happen. It's just entertainment and people love to watch it. But, I mean, you know, they get together and say, you pin me in the Third round.

[Josh Arnold]

And there's still a level of athleticism, of course, but. But come on.

[Tom Griswold]

Put it this way. There's no drug testing. And the refereeing. Come on. The officiating.

[Chick McGee]

I.

[Josh Arnold]

They got to do something.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Okay. When I do this, look the other way and you don't see the chair coming in.

[Chick McGee]

And then a college baseball game between Loyola Maramount, UC Santa Barbara, briefly delayed after a long beaked pelican crashed into the safety net behind home plate. There he is. Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Poor guy. Yeah, There he goes.

[Chick McGee]

Drunk as a monkey.

[Josh Arnold]

Hammered. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Look at him.

[Christy Lee]

He's like, oh, where have I.

[Josh Arnold]

He looks like he's a pterodactyl.

[Chick McGee]

He looks like the stork from Warner Brothers cartoon.

[Tom Griswold]

I love that.

[Josh Arnold]

I got your.

[Chick McGee]

Everybody wants to have a drink with a stork.

[Tom Griswold]

That's such a great character.

[Josh Arnold]

It is.

[Christy Lee]

My God, you see that guy? He's like, going. Go on. No, leave now. Leave.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So it's got a happy ending because a lot of those major League baseball bird stories end with flying feathers and they sure do.

[Christy Lee]

I had another kamakazi bird. That's two now.

[Josh Arnold]

What's this?

[Christy Lee]

Now they hit the window and die at your home?

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

It's awful.

[Chick McGee]

Fellas. Do you think that.

[Pat Godwin]

Are you talking to him?

[Chick McGee]

Demonic possession? Were you telling him about a trip you took one time?

[Tom Griswold]

Isn't there something you can do? Isn't there something.

[Christy Lee]

I don't know if I'm sure our listeners will know.

[Tom Griswold]

Dangle, foil or something.

[Chick McGee]

And then Andy and I met, and

[Pat Godwin]

it was love at first sight.

[Josh Arnold]

Anybody?

[Christy Lee]

Boom.

[Josh Arnold]

You think she's going to close the window?

[Tom Griswold]

You know, I don't.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, then watch this.

[Christy Lee]

I. There's nothing worse than having to go out there and pick up these poor little birds.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, you leave.

[Chick McGee]

I've got a list.

[Tom Griswold]

Chicken. I give you a list.

[Christy Lee]

You're not going to leave it on the deck?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, the deck.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, it's on the deck. You would think that, like, a creature would come and take it or something.

[Josh Arnold]

Eventually it would.

[Chick McGee]

What's that scene in Stork? Kelsey Grammer's a stork, and he lets a bird hit the window and a power move.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, gosh.

[Josh Arnold]

That movie was real funny.

[Chick McGee]

Really?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Underrated.

[Tom Griswold]

What's it called?

[Josh Arnold]

Storks. And it's about birds. Andy Samberg, I think, is one. Chick and I went to the theater and there were kids in there, but we laughed way hard.

[Tom Griswold]

Is it a cartoon? Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And you should have seen the parents as Josh and I were Walking down the aisle to find our seat just subtly reaching over and holding their children closer as we were coming in to watch the cartoon too.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, it was like we walked in with candy dishes and butterflies.

[Tom Griswold]

I've got a nice van outside. Little man.

[Chick McGee]

Here's Tom. Sports. Frightening moments caught on video at a Southern California ski resort. A skier slipped and ended up dangling high in the air from a moving chairlift.

[Tom Griswold]

Seen this video? Here we go. Here it is.

[Chick McGee]

The incident happened at.

[Tom Griswold]

They're way up high.

[Josh Arnold]

He's hanging very.

[Chick McGee]

And they're going higher.

[Tom Griswold]

The young woman in the middle. There's various accounts of this.

[Christy Lee]

Did she do it on purpose?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, one account says she slipped. The other says she was trying to do a pull up and she is dangling from that. And that would be just enough to break your neck.

[Josh Arnold]

Now they're laughing.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

As they're holding her and stuff. Which is. Which does sort of suggest a stunt.

[Tom Griswold]

But she said she would keep reading. She was terrified.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, it looks scary.

[Christy Lee]

It looks like a TikTok video to me.

[Josh Arnold]

But they do. They do reek of so called influencer.

[Tom Griswold]

But you could really get hurt. You could really get.

[Josh Arnold]

It looks nuts.

[Christy Lee]

And then when you get to the chair lift where it drops.

[Tom Griswold]

They had. They had to stop it, I was

[Christy Lee]

gonna say, because she'd break her leg.

[Tom Griswold]

The.

[Chick McGee]

That's everyone's nightmare, being in the ski lift like that. Half in, half out.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, there's a bunch of different accounts of this. Read a couple. One of them said she thought she could drop down holding the bar so she's below the chair itself. And she thought she could pull herself back up, but her skis and boots weighed so much she couldn't do it. And that she's a twin. And then the two other people grabbed her and held her and she. This says one of them says she feared she might fall to her death.

[Christy Lee]

Well, then don't do stupid stunts.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, no kidding.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, you stupid stunts.

[Tom Griswold]

But there's no way. There's no way she just slipped.

[Josh Arnold]

No, she said she did it on purpose.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And it's. She's wearing a ski bib, so you can't tell that she sharted her britches.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, that's good. I mean, at least she was spared that embarrassment.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that would be. Can you. Can you play it again? I want. I'm not.

[Chick McGee]

I.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Yeah. See, the other two people that are holding her are snowboarders. So I'm kind of surprised they didn't just let her go.

[Christy Lee]

Go.

[Tom Griswold]

Because snowboarders, of course, are Primarily evil.

[Chick McGee]

It's a feud. Right?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I think skiers are winning. Thank you.

[Chick McGee]

More sports coming up. We got Wiener Dogs on Ice. Oh, don't go anywhere. Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Also coming up, Ali Breen with Sexy Time. Yeah, that's going to be very good. We've got a world record from our buddy, David Rush.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, boy.

[Tom Griswold]

And if you're concerned about.

[Chick McGee]

If you're.

[Tom Griswold]

If you, if you're. If you're concerned about your male member.

[Josh Arnold]

I am.

[Tom Griswold]

There's a.

[Chick McGee]

Shut up.

[Tom Griswold]

Shut up.

[Chick McGee]

What have you heard, man?

[Tom Griswold]

There's. There's a new phrase that's been around for, I don't know, a decade or so, and it goes something like this. There's an app for that. Ah, well, now there's an app for the old Johnson and Time. But I'm. I better not get that. Might give it away. You'll be quite surprised as to what it does.

[Josh Arnold]

Is it something we can do?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, if you want to, I don't think, feel sorry for you.

[Josh Arnold]

You want to see this? Wing time.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. No.

[Chick McGee]

Come on.

[Tom Griswold]

We'll come back.

[Chick McGee]

Come on over here. Touch it. These.

[Tom Griswold]

These are the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. There's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

The News Center. There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

Jess Hooker has fallen by.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello.

[Tom Griswold]

I got a question for or.

[Chick McGee]

Hi, Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick McGee.

[Josh Arnold]

Hello. Please don't talk over my name being Josh Arnold.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

Your name again?

[Josh Arnold]

Josh Arnold.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, thank you very much. I often forget. I like that pajama top look, Jess.

[Jess Hooker]

Thanks, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Sweet.

[Jess Hooker]

My question, it's just a button down with stripes. It looks like pajamas to Tom.

[Josh Arnold]

Stripes. I do kind of feel like I should be talking to you through a fence. You're familiar with that?

[Chick McGee]

You talk to your lawyer today?

[Tom Griswold]

We were talking about this. There was kind of an. A cliche thing in which. Back in the day, in a movie or whatever TV show, if somebody ordered a pizza, they would always say, hold the anchovies.

[Jess Hooker]

Right?

[Chick McGee]

No anchovies, please.

[Tom Griswold]

And that just seems to be something that never happens anymore. And I guess in the 50s and 60s, was that a staple?

[Josh Arnold]

You know what? Even as late as the 90s, I bet Jess and I could reenact a Nanchovi scene.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, I'm gonna have to think about it.

[Josh Arnold]

Do you want to be Ross or do you want to be Rachel?

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, I could be Rachel.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay. She's ordering pizza. She's very mad at me.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

And I'm Ross, no anchovies, please.

[Jess Hooker]

If you could just chop them up real fine and put them in the sauce, that would be great.

[Josh Arnold]

He goes, no anchovies. She goes, extra anchovies. And he goes, I'll just pick them off. She goes, if you could chop them

[Tom Griswold]

up real fine, that's great. Michael writes good morning, y' all because we found out there's a TV show called that. Where is that?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, In Tyler, Texas.

[Tom Griswold]

With East Texas with a very handsome host and a very, very pretty co host. It's called Good morning y'.

[Josh Arnold]

All.

[Tom Griswold]

And it's. It's cool. It says, I heard you guys talking about anchovies on pizza. Triggered a latent memory summary. I was an assistant manager at Monocles Pizza in Hoopstown, Illinois.

[Christy Lee]

Monocles does a good job.

[Chick McGee]

Home of the. Does he have the name of the high school there, the mascot? No, I believe it's the Corn Jerkers.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, is it really?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think so.

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

I know in high school. You know what?

[Christy Lee]

All right.

[Chick McGee]

A lot of very satisfied, I can tell you that.

[Tom Griswold]

But yeah, I'm sorry, I apologize.

[Christy Lee]

Michael gives a new word to shucking.

[Tom Griswold]

He would butter that corn.

[Josh Arnold]

It ain't gonna shock itself.

[Chick McGee]

I can watch my own house.

[Tom Griswold]

Are we done? We can we move on? I'm getting audio requests.

[Chick McGee]

Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

The Corn Jerkers, Hoopstown, Illinois. Monocles Pizza. Yeah, very good. One night, a few of my buddies came in and wanted to try anchovies. Ah, they brought their own little can. So I put them on the pizza with regular toppings, stuck it in the oven. It stunk the whole place up. Nobody ever tried it again.

[Christy Lee]

So they don't have anchovies there, But I mean that.

[Josh Arnold]

No, they apparently.

[Tom Griswold]

I remember hearing that all the time, but I don't remember ever going to a place where they said whole that they actually normally put anchovies on a pizza.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I thought like a Supreme Pizza used to come with anchovies because it was everything. So if you wanted a Supreme and then minus the anchovies, I'd like a

[Tom Griswold]

judgment call on this. We got on the topic of anchovies because the other lady in the room here, I don't want to use her name.

[Christy Lee]

You can use my name. I've never had them.

[Chick McGee]

Talk about a squeaky wheel, huh?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, gets a Caesar salad with no dressing.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And I would contend along with everyone else here that is no longer a Caesar salad.

[Chick McGee]

Not only that, but we're getting Mail. About how irritated the listeners are.

[Jess Hooker]

So your Caesar salad has shaved Parmesan

[Christy Lee]

and croutons and Romaine. Yes, of course.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Don't forget the Caesar Romaine.

[Josh Arnold]

Cesar Romaine tells you a 1950s actor.

[Chick McGee]

I am Cesar Romaine.

[Tom Griswold]

I am not taking off the mustache to play the joker.

[Chick McGee]

I will not.

[Christy Lee]

I don't like Caesar dressing, but I like the salad part, and it's not a Caesar salad.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that's one of those things where the dressing does make the.

[Chick McGee]

This is a good point, and it hurts my heart to say it. How do you get a Caesar salad, Say, on the side, I guess.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Well, I just say hold the dressing between your knees.

[Tom Griswold]

And am I correct in saying that Caesar salad was invented in Mexico?

[Jess Hooker]

Yes, you are right. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

It was a guy, so it should be Cesar salad.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, I don't know how they pronounced it, but I just made Caesar dressing over the weekend. Yeah, delicious.

[Josh Arnold]

So you've actually bought anchovies and kind

[Jess Hooker]

of do the whole thing? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

She has a. You have an anchovy farm. I thought. Weren't you gonna do that on the

[Jess Hooker]

other side of town?

[Tom Griswold]

So.

[Chick McGee]

That's Right. You have to drive four hours.

[Tom Griswold]

Are the anchovies ground up in the Caesar dress dressing?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, yeah. I have a big wooden bowl. And you do the whole thing. Yeah. Olive oil and lemon capers sometimes. If you want capers, you can also buy anchovy paste.

[Tom Griswold]

Anchovy paste. Okay, here we go.

[Chick McGee]

Here we go. I just.

[Tom Griswold]

I just did a little googling here. Oh, this is interesting.

[Chick McGee]

Josh, you want to go steal some capers? It'd be the caper. Caper.

[Josh Arnold]

We gotta have a caper.

[Tom Griswold]

I think it should be Caesar because it's. Was invented by Caesar Cardini, widely credited as the inventor of the magnificent Cardini. Italian born chef, restaurateur.

[Chick McGee]

No, n. Hey, that don't sound Mexican to me.

[Tom Griswold]

In. In Tijuana. Ah, Tijuana.

[Chick McGee]

From something that's South San Diego. Believe.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Italian guy doing it. Tijuana.

[Chick McGee]

About $9, right? Something like that.

[Tom Griswold]

On a busy Independence Day weekend. Weekend, they ran low on supplies. He improvised a salad using romaine lettuce, garlic, olive oil, lemon egg, Worcestershire sauce, Parmesan cheese, and croutons.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, he nailed it.

[Chick McGee]

Hang on.

[Tom Griswold]

Then it says, notably, the original recipe does not include anchovies.

[Chick McGee]

It's not Parmesan.

[Tom Griswold]

Huh?

[Chick McGee]

It's Parmesan. It's not Parmesan.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, that's. He's right.

[Chick McGee]

Why do you pronounce everything?

[Tom Griswold]

I was reading it rapidly slow down. How does. How do you pronounce Parmesan?

[Chick McGee]

Not Parmesan. Parmesan.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, you said Parmesan. We're gonna like.

[Josh Arnold]

Tom, ask your daughters if they know what anchovies are. Oh, yeah, because you're right. That. That was a staple punchline for a while. One of the other classic comedy tropes we've lost. Souffle comedy.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Where you either had to step lightly or be otherwise hilarious.

[Chick McGee]

Souffle.

[Tom Griswold]

Always funny. By the way, I finally figured out how Groucho developed his famous walk. All right? He was in our green room trying to come in here and not spill his coffee. You do that. You do that thing where you're. You're kind of putting shock absorbers on your knees and trying to.

[Josh Arnold]

Have you ever tried to make a souffle, Jess?

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

I hear that's tough.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

You think there's a lady named Sue Flay.

[Tom Griswold]

I hope it's Bobby's wife. Bobby Flay.

[Pat Godwin]

Have you guys had rel. Anchovies.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. They grill them in the Mykonos.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

Spent some time.

[Josh Arnold]

Time.

[Tom Griswold]

You know what I got right here?

[Pat Godwin]

My gay period.

[Chick McGee]

By the way, to me, you were never prettier right now in your gay period.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, I. Yeah, you were lovely.

[Josh Arnold]

Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

By the way, Ms. Hooker, have you noticed Pat's shirt?

[Jess Hooker]

I like it.

[Christy Lee]

I do, too.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, you want to listen, you can listen.

[Chick McGee]

You guys got to embrace and get that picture. That's like a test pad.

[Tom Griswold]

YouTube Stripes and checks. Here's the sound of Pat shirt. Hey, y'.

[Chick McGee]

All.

[Pat Godwin]

Never wearing it again. Never wearing it again. I'm always going to wear black.

[Christy Lee]

We've learned.

[Tom Griswold]

Look, Allan brought me these sardines. Sardine fillets in 100% olive oil. I haven't tried them yet.

[Josh Arnold]

Now. They're not mild.

[Chick McGee]

No, not at all.

[Josh Arnold]

We're not going to lie to you.

[Chick McGee]

Are they.

[Jess Hooker]

Are they skin and bone.

[Pat Godwin]

It's perfect.

[Tom Griswold]

It says skinless and boneless.

[Jess Hooker]

You need the skin and the bone.

[Josh Arnold]

I got your bone right here. It's my penis.

[Chick McGee]

When he says bone, he mean. Yeah, I think.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you. Welcome to the Subtlety Hour. Whatever happened to double entendre? That's your classic single entendre. Hey, Dick.

[Chick McGee]

Hey. Hey. We need a couple singles. Just move the runner up. That's all we need.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I'm not. I don't.

[Pat Godwin]

You like it? It's good.

[Tom Griswold]

It's too. It's too early.

[Josh Arnold]

Try. Yeah, that's a tough call for. Are you going to have Your brain will thank you.

[Chick McGee]

You know, Jess could tell you the sardines are crazy healthy.

[Tom Griswold]

And my doctor told me that's the one thing, like a case a day. It's my physical. I got to get more Omega 3.

[Jess Hooker]

If you're nervous to try it, I recommend crisping them up in on the. On the stove top.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, really?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, that way you don't get the. I mean, it's. It's just a hard.

[Christy Lee]

Like in a skillet.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Do these things. Do these look like little tiny fish? They do. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Little faces.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't think those will have the head on them.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

From what I can see, yeah, they probably.

[Chick McGee]

They have a face on them and they have to smile them.

[Christy Lee]

So do you eat that? Do you eat the whole thing, like, head and all?

[Josh Arnold]

I. I don't. I get the fillets.

[Chick McGee]

They look exactly like Pepperidge Farm goldfish.

[Tom Griswold]

Only there you don't get that they're made of fish. Yep, I see. Yeah. Okay. Well, thank you.

[Josh Arnold]

No, I don't get the head when I get sardine. When I eat sardines.

[Christy Lee]

Here it comes.

[Josh Arnold]

Girls want nothing to do with me. Usually.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, your breath's so bad

[Josh Arnold]

here.

[Chick McGee]

Hey.

[Josh Arnold]

Sometimes the low hanging fruit tastes pretty good.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah, it's excellent. Thank you.

[Christy Lee]

It's usually the ripest.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up, Ali Breen has been moved to tomorrow's show. Okay, let's just fire her.

[Chick McGee]

She shows us zero respect.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that still gives you time to write her a letter.

[Chick McGee]

I had an ingrown hair. I couldn't call.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm calling.

[Chick McGee]

Are you kidding me?

[Josh Arnold]

Well, now we know she's not getting fired. She's probably getting a bonus

[Tom Griswold]

coming up. We have that, and we have some really interesting stuff going on. And when we come back, we have the wiener dog race.

[Chick McGee]

Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

And there's a. There's also a very interesting story flying around the Internet involving a trapeze artist.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, that's a lost art, isn't it?

[Tom Griswold]

Wait till you.

[Christy Lee]

This is horrifying.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, well, there's a fall.

[Chick McGee]

Did he fall?

[Tom Griswold]

There is a catch. Don't spoil it.

[Chick McGee]

Is it Mr. And Mrs. Trapeze Artist? And they were having fight and he. He purposely dropped her.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no. All I'm going to say is.

[Christy Lee]

Don't. Don't say anything.

[Tom Griswold]

He deserves it. It's in a double entendre sense. Intercontinental.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, boy.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, boy. Incontinental.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, no.

[Tom Griswold]

When we return to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the bot Worst. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Hi. Welcome Back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hello, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

She's at the News Center. Hello, indeed. There's Pat Guy Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Chick.

[Chick McGee]

There's Jess Hooker.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Josh Arnold. Hi. Ace Cosby Audi. I am Chick. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Once again, we were talking about some controversial stuff going on right now in the world. Of course I'm talking about anchovies on pizza.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Because that was kind of a. A trope almost to hold the anchovies.

[Christy Lee]

I can remember my mom ordering pizzas as a kid and saying that.

[Tom Griswold]

But again, it's. I don't. You never hear that anymore. So I did a little bit of homework here.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Uh huh. It says anchovies were used in the earliest traditional Neapolitan pizzas because of their low cost with respect to cheese being so expensive.

[Christy Lee]

Huh.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Isn't that interesting?

[Chick McGee]

So they couldn't find cheese, so they put a baby fish on it.

[Tom Griswold]

They couldn't pay for it. The cheese was too expensive. This says in the United States, anchovies, a common standard topping for immigrants in the late 1800s, but became a mainstay staple in the 50s, 60s and 70s. Popularity declined, they say, starting in the 1980s. So I missed it.

[Jess Hooker]

Do you guys eat anchovies?

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Chick McGee]

I don't think I've ever had an answer.

[Christy Lee]

Apparently my husband said he's had anchovies on pizza.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. But again, the. The trope, or whatever you want to call it, it would be. There was always. You'd have to say in the. If you watch any sitcoms from that era, someone goes, yeah, hold the anchovies. As if that was the way they stand standard.

[Chick McGee]

Would you kiss Lanny if he ate.

[Christy Lee]

His name is Andy.

[Tom Griswold]

Andy.

[Chick McGee]

If you. If he ate anchovy.

[Christy Lee]

Do they smell bad? I don't know. I would not.

[Chick McGee]

You wouldn't?

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

However, anyone want to take this?

[Pat Godwin]

No, no, we don't.

[Jess Hooker]

No, no, no, no.

[Chick McGee]

He does that. You kiss him right after that.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you, Chick.

[Tom Griswold]

Hell, dude.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome. Okay. Somewhere on the. The website. What the hell, dude.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, I'm sorry.

[Josh Arnold]

Many dominoes still have anchovies. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Some Pizza Hut Huts and What's that

[Chick McGee]

now I've heard of.

[Josh Arnold]

My voice just stopped for.

[Chick McGee]

I've heard of Pizza Hut. I've never heard of Pizza Hut.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a footballers. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

All right.

[Josh Arnold]

Some Papa John's.

[Tom Griswold]

But that's something you would have to order. It wouldn't be. It wouldn't come that Way normally.

[Josh Arnold]

Right?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

It's a topping you have to add.

[Tom Griswold]

It's like having a landau room roof.

[Christy Lee]

Nobody has a land out.

[Pat Godwin]

We know what that is.

[Jess Hooker]

I don't either.

[Chick McGee]

That was the.

[Tom Griswold]

That was the hideous fake half convertible on Cadillacs back in the 70s. Just off.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Really Crown Vicks at them too.

[Chick McGee]

Never, never looked good.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, a real, real low rent look, you know, bad gold jewelry with a sweatsuit. Yeah, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

That llamas guy. Wasn't he the Fernando for those? Remember that?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Fernando Lorenzo.

[Tom Griswold]

Now we have to move on with our sports broadcast.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, we do. Wisconsin hockey team brought back one of its most popular traditions, the annual wiener dog race. A television station called WFRV reports the Green Bay gamblers hosted the event during Saturday's gaming at the Youngstown Phantom.

[Josh Arnold]

It's not named after Farve, is it?

[Chick McGee]

He was very popular in Green Bay. Thirty dachshunds sprinted across the ice with a wiener dog named Louie winning the race. Oh, that's the event benefited community. Pause.

[Tom Griswold]

We got the video here. Ready, get set, go.

[Josh Arnold]

They're very cute.

[Tom Griswold]

They are hilarious.

[Josh Arnold]

Like now some know their mission.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

A handful really know what this do they have.

[Christy Lee]

Oh my, look at that.

[Tom Griswold]

Are there owners across the other side of the ice? It's all the way the length of the drink. Are the. Is. Are they screaming for the dog?

[Josh Arnold]

No, their owners seem to be. They've got behind them with them. But then maybe they have other owners.

[Chick McGee]

I'm impressed.

[Josh Arnold]

Holding treats.

[Chick McGee]

I'm impressed. The owners can stay up in the. Stay up on the ice. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Look at how cute they are.

[Christy Lee]

Cute.

[Josh Arnold]

I love dachshunds. My brother and sister in law have

[Christy Lee]

two and they're especially long haired ones.

[Tom Griswold]

They're calling it a wiener race. They should call it chili dogs.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I like that. Why would they not be gold like

[Tom Griswold]

the chili dog run or something?

[Chick McGee]

Because did you see the. The wiener dog. That one. That's not. That's not. No real wiener dog.

[Christy Lee]

That is kind of a mix.

[Jess Hooker]

I think it is.

[Chick McGee]

He's not a.

[Jess Hooker]

Of some sort.

[Chick McGee]

He's not 100%.

[Tom Griswold]

Is there a wiener doodle?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, there's a doodle of everything.

[Tom Griswold]

Wiener doodle sounds like something a little boy would call his male members.

[Chick McGee]

It's got to be a woodle.

[Tom Griswold]

A little boy.

[Christy Lee]

Look, that guy's name was Ace. Did you see that?

[Josh Arnold]

Ace?

[Chick McGee]

What do you think of.

[Christy Lee]

What do you think of Ace is their mascot.

[Chick McGee]

Well, it kind of looks like Ace too.

[Josh Arnold]

Look at that.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You know why they do this where wieners put buns in the seats.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, man, you had chili dog.

[Pat Godwin]

Man, you should have left chili dog.

[Jess Hooker]

Should have stopped there.

[Chick McGee]

So sad to see a kid go up like that.

[Josh Arnold]

The old sophomore slump.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. But the thing is, nothing could be worse than Pat's lobster bisque joke.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, that was totally.

[Tom Griswold]

That opens the door for all of us to swing and miss. We can all. We can swing and miss all day.

[Josh Arnold]

So when one of us has a real bomb, the rest, everybody else gets a get out of jail free card.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, okay.

[Chick McGee]

Absolutely. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, we didn't strike out with. With three on base, behind by two at the end of the game with two outs. No, that was the lobster bisque joke. That's gonna go down in history with the. The, the lentil soup and Easter bisque.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, still not.

[Tom Griswold]

There's nothing there. Call Jeff Bodard.

[Chick McGee]

So that's what you were going.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, I know. Dumb.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Real dumb.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, keep an eye on what kind

[Pat Godwin]

of jacket I wear.

[Chick McGee]

What size kind of. What kind of jacket? Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

40.

[Josh Arnold]

Stupid.

[Tom Griswold]

How about this one? When it comes to what. Wait a minute. I gotta think of the name of the thing. When it comes to Wiener Dogs, or in this case, when it comes to Weenies on Ice. I think of that TV show, Heated Rivalry.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, boy.

[Josh Arnold]

No, I mean, are they banging in the rink?

[Christy Lee]

No, they're not banging in the ring.

[Tom Griswold]

No, that's the name of the next episode. Banging in the Rink.

[Christy Lee]

They play on opposite teams. They're never in the same. You know what I meant?

[Tom Griswold]

Even though it's like they're in a ballpark.

[Josh Arnold]

Do you get any arousal seeing two men kiss?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

You like that?

[Christy Lee]

This show. I don't know if it's arousal as much as it's very interesting to see the relationship unfold. It's kind of.

[Josh Arnold]

Are they actually gay guys or they.

[Christy Lee]

They are not talking about it, are they?

[Chick McGee]

I thought one. No one is, like, engaged. His A girl cover.

[Christy Lee]

No, no.

[Jess Hooker]

I need one of those warnings before I see two guys kiss. Like, hey, flashing lights.

[Christy Lee]

Be careful. Two guys kissing.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

I mind my own business. The day is long, but when six feet under and there's a gay.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Kiss for the first time. I. I got the squirmies.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm with you, dude.

[Christy Lee]

I, I, Yeah, I got the squirmies.

[Tom Griswold]

When he's up against the car getting.

[Chick McGee]

Yes. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm not proud of that. But it is. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

It just is.

[Josh Arnold]

There is something where I go, oh, you know what? I am not a gay man

[Chick McGee]

now, if you Want to go have a beer and a dog? I'm in.

[Tom Griswold]

But don't you.

[Chick McGee]

We're not kissing.

[Christy Lee]

What kind of bothered me was the young one man has not. He's exploring his gay side. He'd never been with a guy before.

[Tom Griswold]

He'll be the back.

[Chick McGee]

Well, the gay side.

[Christy Lee]

That's exactly what I'm talking about. And they have not gone that far yet.

[Chick McGee]

I have not gone that far.

[Christy Lee]

And when they do, it's very hot.

[Tom Griswold]

Odiferous.

[Pat Godwin]

Is that fourth? Is that whole fourth base hard to watch.

[Jess Hooker]

Graphic.

[Christy Lee]

Not great. I mean, I see they don't show like a porn, but they show enough.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

You know what's going on?

[Josh Arnold]

I have not even seen these two dudes. Are they attractive?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay. They're handsome men. Oh yeah.

[Christy Lee]

They're very.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Have you seen the barbecue tool you can get? It's a little man with a, with a piece of metal that sticks out like it's his peanut. You put a hot dog on there, set it on your grill. What?

[Josh Arnold]

I. I have not.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, and you get like five or six of them standing around and you put up on the grill and they got.

[Josh Arnold]

So it's like a barbecue jerk.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, like hot dogs.

[Tom Griswold]

What?

[Chick McGee]

Yes, yes, yes. I don't know what kind of website they think that I, that they want to sell me, but I bought six. Is that too many?

[Tom Griswold]

I'm so sorry.

[Chick McGee]

Actor Christo Fernando Fernandez from TED Lasso is making news and Josh will have. Have the thoughts about Ted Lasso when we come back.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Good to be distinguished from heated rivalry.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, Yes. A little different.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And that's the, the.

[Chick McGee]

Is Ted gay?

[Tom Griswold]

Is that, is that. Obviously it's on cable of some sort or whatever.

[Chick McGee]

On hbo.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

It's really not. It's really pretty good.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. I'm, I mean disputing that. I was just curious.

[Christy Lee]

I know that makes a lot of people uncomfortable, but it's, it's.

[Jess Hooker]

I say it's a great storyline.

[Christy Lee]

It is a wonderful.

[Tom Griswold]

And once again, the working title was a butt puck.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, God.

[Chick McGee]

Here's a picture of my, my new barbecue tools. I. I think we have those. There they are. No, you tell me that ain't funny. You have six beers and walk over they go, hey, hey, chick. How's the food going? Oh, man, those are.

[Josh Arnold]

I like their heads are tilted to

[Tom Griswold]

where they're looking down so it looks like it's a. It's a. It's like a foot high sculptor and

[Christy Lee]

they got the foot long on there. You can.

[Chick McGee]

The head Is bendable. It's kind of like a action figure.

[Tom Griswold]

It's. They're very slender, kind of like a JAC sculpture. But he's right.

[Chick McGee]

Right over here. Kiss my ass.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay, you guys are both right. Yes. It was an accurate description.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a inordinately slender man with a. It's hilarious hot dog that attaches to the groin area so it looks like.

[Pat Godwin]

Like.

[Chick McGee]

Well, you sucked all the fun out of that. No, I'm.

[Tom Griswold]

This is radio. I'm trying to explain it to people. So how did you get this?

[Chick McGee]

Did.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you on some list?

[Chick McGee]

No, that you. You go on Instagram for five minutes and everything starts popping up.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, I bet that'll be on your Instagram now.

[Chick McGee]

Everybody's going to get it. Now that we've talked, I have a

[Josh Arnold]

feeling that I'll be on all of our desks next Christmas with Tom's face.

[Tom Griswold]

Well.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, you got to put your little head on there. And I mean, come on.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, and if you do do that, if there is a little head, Christy doesn't want you to kiss her.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, with your cowboy hat, too. You need that one.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Yes. Just the cowboy hat and cowboy.

[Tom Griswold]

That's the broke back special. Where was I? Oh, I know. How is everybody?

[Christy Lee]

Great.

[Tom Griswold]

Thanks for asking.

[Chick McGee]

I'm sick of.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up, we have an odd story out of the Dominican Republic. We have. Do you want to get microchipped at work? And we have a new app of all things in the world of. Of penile management, if you will. Personal penile management.

[Josh Arnold]

Wow. Oh, okay. Good. Good. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Not for. Not like.

[Chick McGee]

So I can't control collection. I can't control your penis from. With an app. Not yours. I could control mine.

[Tom Griswold]

That's coming soon, though. The. The broadcast that you're enjoying going possibly is coming to you from the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Port Studios. There's Chrissy Lee at the news desk.

[Christy Lee]

Hello, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

Hey. There's Pat Godwin putting his glasses on.

[Pat Godwin]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

Hello, indeed. There's Jess Hooker.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

Rubbing her hands. Evidently she's a little chilled. There's Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi there.

[Chick McGee]

There's Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello, Chick McGee. I know we have a couple more sports stories, but before that, I thought we would enlighten you with a little bit of history. This every day teach you about what's happening. What. What the. We're standing on the shoulders of giants, of course.

[Josh Arnold]

I missed a birthday yesterday, so I would like to correct that. My youngest brother, Joey. Wednesday, his birthday was yesterday.

[Christy Lee]

Joey.

[Josh Arnold]

He's, as we say in Missouri, farty far. So.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, very good. Is he married or something?

[Josh Arnold]

Love you, Joe. He is married.

[Christy Lee]

Why did I think he was single?

[Josh Arnold]

No, I'm. Everybody's married but old number two here.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, funny, funny. Josh.

[Chick McGee]

Never married.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. A confirmed bachelor, if you will, because

[Josh Arnold]

my grandpa would say. Oh, you mean the one who was in show choir. Never married, you say?

[Tom Griswold]

That's a shock.

[Josh Arnold]

How about that?

[Chick McGee]

He has the loveliest collection of poison.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's see. Happy birthday. 1670. Antonio Vivaldi.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, I've heard of him.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, the big Four Seasons. That's right, baby.

[Tom Griswold]

He wrote that in Italy, so.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I did.

[Tom Griswold]

The seasons were quite pleasant.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I bet.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. It's really hard to tell them.

[Josh Arnold]

I visit Italy. What's. What season should I pick?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, any season is great.

[Christy Lee]

Summer's hot as hell, I can tell you that.

[Tom Griswold]

Spring, it would be in summer.

[Chick McGee]

There it is. I think Alan Alden. Name owes him money, Right? For the Four Seasons movie. And now the four season tv. Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Nice hotel.

[Chick McGee]

Vivaldi's.

[Tom Griswold]

Happy birthday.

[Chick McGee]

I'm done.

[Tom Griswold]

No, please continue.

[Chick McGee]

No, no, I'm enjoying this.

[Josh Arnold]

He does owe me money. Is that a passable.

[Chick McGee]

I wish I could do an Alan All. You know, Bill Hader's Alan Alda is amazing.

[Tom Griswold]

That is.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Josh is terrible.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe. Happy birthday, Chaz Bono. Radar is pronounced Chaz or Shaz.

[Chick McGee]

Remember, I was going to. I'm Charles. I was for a while.

[Tom Griswold]

I understand he's currently. He owns a bar.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, really?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, Chaz Lounge.

[Josh Arnold]

It's very relaxing.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, you are really bad.

[Tom Griswold]

Since you attempted the lobster bisque joke, I'm gonna try anything today.

[Chick McGee]

My question would be, at what point did you get confidence that you feel like you could just go ahead?

[Josh Arnold]

Apparently, it was Easter bisque.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

It really made Tom think he could get away with anything.

[Chick McGee]

Is that what happened? Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

You know why I pulled you over, officer? Didn't you hear the Easter biz joke? You know what? You're free to go.

[Chick McGee]

Slow it down next time.

[Tom Griswold]

1990. Draymond Green of.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Of the NBA.

[Chick McGee]

Do not cheat yourself. Go online and. And Google Steph Curry blandly listening to Draymond Green Rant. So good, and it is so wonderful. Steph wasn't playing. He's standing there in this real nice jacket, a ball cap, you know, and they were in a heated exchange, and Draymond's got everybody sweating and Steph's just staring at him. You gotta. And one of the captions was, something about your girl is trying to tell you something you're not.

[Jess Hooker]

And she's having a crash out. And your response is. And he's just there and he's shaking his head.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, wonderful. Look that up.

[Tom Griswold]

This says his son is named Cash.

[Chick McGee]

Cash Green.

[Tom Griswold]

Cash Green. It's kind of redundant.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

He's got a pretty good podcast out there.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's do some. Let's do some history with respect to the founding of this country. 1801. Thomas Jefferson became the first president inaugurated in Washington, DC. His first line was. They named it after him.

[Chick McGee]

The crazy drunk.

[Tom Griswold]

Then he looked across the way and he goes, why is there something called the Lincoln Memorial? It was very confusing.

[Josh Arnold]

You know, all those names may change soon.

[Chick McGee]

I. I really want to see. My dad used to say, man, I wish I knew how this was all going to turn. I can't wait.

[Tom Griswold]

But yeah, Jefferson inaugurated. He was. Moving on up, if you will, to the son of a lighthouse. Just. This is interesting.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know why, but I'm mad at Pat

[Tom Griswold]

now. You know this. The famous inauguration. It featured the. The Marine band.

[Chick McGee]

That's right. And the Brothers Johnson because the Navy

[Tom Griswold]

band couldn't dry off. We gotta stop him.

[Jess Hooker]

We have to stop him.

[Chick McGee]

We need an aggregation.

[Tom Griswold]

He. This was. Think about it. It's March.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

And they were inaugurating a president. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Correct.

[Tom Griswold]

And Jefferson. Dennis. Speech did say. Say it's way too nice today. We should do this in January.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Why don't we do this in January?

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, it is interesting that they're

[Christy Lee]

the one that wanted to inaugurate a president on April 16th.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, no.

[Tom Griswold]

The election should be on the day before taxes are due April 14th. Okay, let's see. How about this one?

[Josh Arnold]

One.

[Tom Griswold]

And I hear. Do you know what Any significant facts about James Madison, Christie Lee? No. I ask you for a reason.

[Chick McGee]

He was. He was very handsome.

[Josh Arnold]

I guess was his wife, Dolly Madison?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, but he was.

[Christy Lee]

Makes a good cake.

[Tom Griswold]

He was. He was, I think the shortest president in history. Right?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, really?

[Chick McGee]

I think so.

[Tom Griswold]

I think so. I don't know.

[Christy Lee]

Even Teddy Roosevelt wasn't short him.

[Chick McGee]

Or Coolidge.

[Christy Lee]

Or did you just make him Me?

[Tom Griswold]

Because I think it's Madison. And he of course appears in the $5,000 bill.

[Josh Arnold]

Weird.

[Tom Griswold]

No longer in circulation.

[Chick McGee]

Thanks.

[Tom Griswold]

What's odd about. Here's what it says here. It says, James Madison, the first president inaugurated wearing American made clothes.

[Chick McGee]

Huh?

[Christy Lee]

Well, where'd they come from before that?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, Europe probably.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

How odd that is. And if you look closely at manufacturing photograph, you can see Oshkosh Bagash right there in his suit.

[Christy Lee]

What was he wearing? A size 2 toddler.

[Chick McGee]

He was wearing Ray Bans. Ray Bans. But they weren't polarized. They hadn't come up with that yet.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, no.

[Tom Griswold]

1847, William Henry Harrison delivered the longest presidential inaugural speech. It was way longer than an hour. And you know what happened to him?

[Christy Lee]

He got sick, didn't he?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

He famously died. I don't know, like a month later.

[Josh Arnold]

Don't they say he kind of caught colds doing that?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, that's what they said right back then.

[Josh Arnold]

When you. You sneeze and the doctor goes, well, you have two weeks.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, we got nothing. If only we had something to kill the germs.

[Tom Griswold]

I know. They famously asked the crew that was helping out with the speech. They gave him the light after 35 minutes. Stayed up there. Don't you hate those little stand up comedy joke? Lastly, of all things, in 1909, this was the date that William Howard Taft was inaugurated. Famously during what? Anyone remember the. This one.

[Christy Lee]

What year?

[Tom Griswold]

In 1909, William Howard Taft and AR during a Oscar night.

[Josh Arnold]

And people didn't know what to watch.

[Tom Griswold]

No, it was during a. A Snowstorm in which 10 inches of snow fell.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And they knew that it was 10 inches because Taft took his Subway sandwich.

[Josh Arnold]

There were still 2 inches showing.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, he helped you with that joke. I needed all the help.

[Josh Arnold]

He was a large man, wasn't he?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, this is a good one. Do we. Did you find this photograph, by the way? And I don't know how to. I'm going to pronounce this incorrectly. I apologize. Is it pronounced humility or hubris?

[Josh Arnold]

Wait, wait, wait.

[Tom Griswold]

Hubris.

[Christy Lee]

Hu.

[Tom Griswold]

No. Is it pronounced Nosferatu or Nosferatu?

[Chick McGee]

I've always said nosfer. Nosferatu is what I've said.

[Tom Griswold]

Really?

[Josh Arnold]

Well, that's wrong on many levels.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I'm sticking to it.

[Josh Arnold]

I like the way you say, do

[Tom Griswold]

you know it was just. It was just remade. Right.

[Josh Arnold]

Let's see if I say, have you seen the new Nosferatu? I'm a nose guy.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

I think it's nice.

[Tom Griswold]

In 1922, the first Nosferatu. Slash Nosferatu. Wrong was it was considered to be the first vampire film.

[Christy Lee]

I saw that recently.

[Josh Arnold]

F.W. murnau. Yeah, it's good. It holds up.

[Tom Griswold]

And Nosferatu. I did the. This Math on this. It's an anagram for use on farts.

[Christy Lee]

Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

So what? He's.

[Chick McGee]

He's, He's. He is not stopping.

[Christy Lee]

What the hell does that even mean?

[Pat Godwin]

It means horse and Easter Biscuit.

[Josh Arnold]

Recently there was a.

[Christy Lee]

That doesn't make any sense.

[Josh Arnold]

There was a hip hop slash sort of gothic song that came out from Lil Nas for X.

[Jess Hooker]

Well done.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

All right, we're back.

[Chick McGee]

The judges are going to.

[Tom Griswold]

So is this, Is this Nosferatu guy separate from Dracula?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, because they. Honestly, it was a rights issue. They did not have Bram. Bram Stoker's whatever the permission to do Dracula. So they did Nosferatu.

[Tom Griswold]

They just gave it a different name. Yeah, this is like the Hydrox. The Hydrox cookie, if you will. It's not an Oreo.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay, that's great. And the new one is really art

[Christy Lee]

direction in the old one, though. It's so cool.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, that famous shadow he's going up

[Tom Griswold]

the stairs with now. Christy, this will make you a keel over. Oh, God. In 1927, Babe Ruth became the highest paid player in major league baseball history with a three year contract per season, paying about $70,000 with the New York Yankees. That would be only 1.3 million today.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, he got ripped off.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Right.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

At least that's. I did the math on that.

[Chick McGee]

Good.

[Tom Griswold]

That's. I mean, what are the. What is. What's a average major league baseball player make today?

[Chick McGee]

A lot.

[Tom Griswold]

Like 10 million or something an hour plus an assistant. No, there are. I. Aren't there. There are baseball players. That makes 70,000 a day.

[Christy Lee]

We're.

[Chick McGee]

We're, we're looking at a billion dollar contract. Oh, yeah. How long ago was Alex Rodriguez is for 10 years, 240 million or whatever the major. 24 million.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I'm, I thought it was 26 million a year. Right. Wasn't it that it or something like that.

[Tom Griswold]

But Babe Ruth also. I. It doesn't say that here, but he was paid partially in hot dogs, which would take it up 2 million.

[Josh Arnold]

Taft was too

[Tom Griswold]

foot longs.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, you're running to change the country. Oh, I'm running for the hot dog

[Tom Griswold]

now. Josh and I can argue about this one. 1952, Ernest Hemingway finished the Old man in the Sea on this date.

[Josh Arnold]

I love it.

[Tom Griswold]

I. I'm not a fan. I'm. I'll take in our time any. Anytime over that. Hemingway had to finish it on this date because his book report was due on Thursday morning and he had to. Had to get it polished.

[Josh Arnold]

Have you read Movable Feast I have.

[Tom Griswold]

Not recently.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah, I liked that one.

[Josh Arnold]

I've not read the full catalog. I've only read four or five.

[Tom Griswold]

I just reread the Sun Also Rises. Man, is there a lot of drinking in that dude?

[Christy Lee]

Well, he was a drinker.

[Tom Griswold]

Every.

[Josh Arnold]

I know, but you can't believe it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Every scene when I went down to

[Josh Arnold]

breakfast and, like, you feel hungover. Read.

[Chick McGee]

You do.

[Josh Arnold]

Like, it's just like, God, they're still drinking and it's 5am yes.

[Tom Griswold]

The old Man.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. What's the problem?

[Tom Griswold]

The Old man in the Sea. Have you ever read the Old man in the Sea?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Spoiler alert. The sea wins.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, it's about aging and growing up. Wonderful book.

[Tom Griswold]

Subtitled A Shark Ate My Marlin.

[Pat Godwin]

Was it a book about me and my son? It's called the Old man and the Sea spot section.

[Josh Arnold]

Look at how overjoyed Tom is.

[Chick McGee]

Tom is so. Tom loves that.

[Josh Arnold]

He's so happy.

[Tom Griswold]

I was going to stop, but now I can go nowhere but up. How about this, Pat? This one's for you.

[Josh Arnold]

I thought the bombs were just falling in Iran.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, wait a minute.

[Tom Griswold]

In 1966, Pat, you'll know that. What famously did John Lennon say? That got a lot of points.

[Chick McGee]

Publicity.

[Pat Godwin]

That the Beatles were beginning Jesus.

[Tom Griswold]

That's right. And of course, they were referencing mishooker Jesus. Aloo of the famous Matthew.

[Chick McGee]

Felipe.

[Josh Arnold]

Jesus was in God's office, kind of just thumbing through a magazine and down on Earth, we're bigger than Jesus. Jesus kind of looks up and goes, what'd that guy just say?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, see, that was the British Invasion. Jesus was bigger during the Roman invasion, if you want to get technical about it.

[Josh Arnold]

Dad, did he just say what I thought he said? Do you?

[Chick McGee]

Do you? I didn't say we're making the Jews. I just said we're not moving to the boy. That's a him going on and on. I didn't say that. I don't know why that was.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, God got back to him. I got two words. Yoko Ono. Let's see now. We're not quite done here.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, we're done.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you think it's interesting that a culture. Don't you think it's kind of ballsy to name your kid Jesus?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, well, Jesus is one thing, really. It's not the same.

[Tom Griswold]

What do you mean, it's not the same?

[Josh Arnold]

Well, I mean, it doesn't have the same. It's a. It's a cultural thing.

[Chick McGee]

Can you name a child Buddha or Muhammad?

[Tom Griswold]

That's the most popular Name in the

[Josh Arnold]

world don't draw a picture.

[Chick McGee]

According to McLovin. But Buddha. There must be somebody named Buddha, right?

[Tom Griswold]

I'm sure his kids. I mean, why not? People smoke a lot of pot. We're gonna name him Buddha. Good luck to that kid. Hope he can throw a pizza.

[Chick McGee]

And then there's hatred.

[Tom Griswold]

2005, on this date, Martha Stewart was released from prison.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yes.

[Tom Griswold]

I thought that was a really tasteful neck tattoo that she had.

[Josh Arnold]

Wasn't that nice?

[Tom Griswold]

She said, I love Shirley.

[Christy Lee]

That was an interesting documentary. Did you watch that one chick?

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Christy Lee]

Martha Stewart. Yeah, it was.

[Tom Griswold]

Did she give her pruno recipe? No.

[Christy Lee]

She made some friends in prison. Yeah, she made a lot of friends in prison.

[Chick McGee]

I have trouble watching a woman of that age do anything, really. I don't care for that.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, I have a crafting question. Who in this room? I've always wanted to. I don't know how to do this. Okay, you take your scissors. Martha Stewart in jail is what made me think of it. Okay, so you take your scissors and you have a ribbon.

[Christy Lee]

Oh.

[Josh Arnold]

You curl it, and you kind of curl the ribbon with the scissors. I end up either cutting my hand or the ribbon does nothing.

[Christy Lee]

You've got to get it on the right side.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I'm not doing the right side. I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know how to do that. But you were thinking of scissoring.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah. You know, Martha Stewart did some scissors.

[Pat Godwin]

She had to.

[Tom Griswold]

I think they're gonna like a remake of Shot of Shawshank, except that she's gonna have one of those live Laugh

[Josh Arnold]

Love posters, and she has all. Nice party. It's a Shawshank reception.

[Chick McGee]

That's nice. It's a nice cap. I was more surprised that it actually had some humor there. What we've been doing.

[Pat Godwin]

Shaw shank C section.

[Josh Arnold]

Nope.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, when we return, we'll be here. I hope you are too.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

We like to come back to where we were when we started, Right? Uhhuh. And I'm gonna see if Pat can top his lobster bisque joke, which is gonna go down in history as the turducken of Easter.

[Pat Godwin]

There's lentil soup, and there's Easter bisque

[Chick McGee]

and the Shaw Shank sea section or whatever that was.

[Pat Godwin]

Old man in the C section.

[Chick McGee]

Old man in the C section.

[Josh Arnold]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

Boy, that's. What's going on there.

[Chick McGee]

I think my headphones went out.

[Tom Griswold]

Sir, sir, that isn't a baby you have in there. It's your paunch. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio as I indicated earlier and this remains the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs, get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. There's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

She's at the news desk. There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, check.

[Chick McGee]

Going to play a song here. Sure, that's what I heard.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm ready to go.

[Chick McGee]

There's Jess Hooker.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Josh Arnold.

[Christy Lee]

Is it called, is it called Easter bisque?

[Chick McGee]

This is called Easter Easter Bisque. Easter Bisque. There's Ace Cosby.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Tom Griswold]

If you're just joining us.

[Chick McGee]

Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Easter bisque is a new cold code word for failure.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh boy, is it ever.

[Tom Griswold]

It is used to be.

[Chick McGee]

Used to be turducken.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, this is the.

[Tom Griswold]

The new Turducken. For long time listeners, we have moved on. Okay. We, we haven't finished our sports broadcast.

[Chick McGee]

I love Christo Fernandez who portrays soccer player Danny Rojas.

[Christy Lee]

I love him.

[Chick McGee]

Football is life. Yes, that's that guy on Ted Lasso. Man, what a great show that is.

[Tom Griswold]

What's the premise of Ted Lasso, Josh?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, it's your classic fish out of water story.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Sort of American guy goes over to they call flashlights torches over here and everybody feels real good about it.

[Chick McGee]

I've been underestimated all my life. And he wins the dart tournament. According to reports the 35 year old Rojas, which means red stick.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

With he's been with training with Al Alpasso out the old lasso since last week.

[Christy Lee]

Whoa.

[Chick McGee]

And that he played for 30. I'm not scared of anything anymore. He played for 30 minutes during a preseason scrimmage against New Mexico United and he had to be revived at halftime. Oh, I threw that in. Mr. Fernandez does have a history in the sport of soccer beyond his role on the show. He played in the academy of his hometown side Teos FC tcos.

[Tom Griswold]

That means he played in high school.

[Chick McGee]

What is this Football club played in the academy of his hometown. So maybe it is the high school team or I what we would think the high school. He had a serious knee injury at

[Tom Griswold]

15 so he turned a stunt, I think.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, what's wrong with that?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, and by the Danny is not been confirmed coming back for season four of Ted Lasso.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, oh, maybe he's auditioning for another job.

[Chick McGee]

There are people hasn't called his people yet, evidently. What do you think of that, Tom?

[Christy Lee]

He's got to come back.

[Tom Griswold]

I think this is probably orchestrated by the Gotcha.

[Christy Lee]

By the lasso people.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Okay, so he's either a professional soccer player or an actor.

[Chick McGee]

David Rush. That's David Rush.

[Christy Lee]

Did he give you that story?

[Chick McGee]

David Rush.

[Tom Griswold]

I have a question, though.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

He's heckling his own.

[Tom Griswold]

His name is Crystal. Frank Fernandez, right?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Who?

[Christy Lee]

Danny Rojas.

[Chick McGee]

It's not Crystal. Danny Rojas and Cristo Fernandez.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, but isn't this like when they have a dog in a movie and the dog Rover played by Fido?

[Chick McGee]

So Danny Rojas is the same as Christo Fernandez?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

He could have used his real name is what you're saying.

[Tom Griswold]

He's a foreigner.

[Pat Godwin]

Aren't we all?

[Chick McGee]

You know, when I used to do do that 30 years ago, it was kind of okay to laugh, I guess. I don't know. I don't know anything anymore.

[Tom Griswold]

But isn't that always funny when they have dogs? I love that they give the other name of the dog. I've always found that hilarious.

[Christy Lee]

A dog know to react if it's got a different name.

[Chick McGee]

Max was played by hiker.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

David Rush broken the Guinness world record for the furthest behind the back catch of a tennis ball.

[Tom Griswold]

Do we have have this?

[Chick McGee]

Okay, the record to beat was 177ft.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

With his arms. With his arms behind his back.

[Tom Griswold]

Here he comes.

[Josh Arnold]

I admittedly like this kind of stuff.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, I think one of us could do this.

[Josh Arnold]

It's being hit with a racket. All of a sudden there's a random Frisbee.

[Tom Griswold]

But no, that's, that's a. That's a visual.

[Josh Arnold]

Look at the ring around the ball, letting us know where the ball.

[Chick McGee]

Look at this egomaniac. Or an Eno maniac. He loves Brian Eno.

[Tom Griswold]

See, I think one of us could do this because the trick is this

[Josh Arnold]

is something my brothers and I would do for a while.

[Tom Griswold]

Behind the back catch.

[Chick McGee]

I think if you tried long enough.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Eventually you'd get one.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I think so.

[Tom Griswold]

But congratulations, David Rush, one of my personal heroes.

[Chick McGee]

David Rush said he collaborated with Chris Stump. That's S t U M p h. Chris threw the tennis ball. Of course David caught it and he said, quote, all the glory lands on me. And all the real work landed on Chris.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, now if you watch that video again.

[Josh Arnold]

I wish I won't.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I've forgotten it already.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, it's because you're a cat lover. If you watch the video again, there's a dog There's a dog. There's a dog in the window going, really? You call that a catch? You know what I'm saying?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You ever see those Frisbee dogs at the games?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I see my dog catch. She does a pirouette before she catches.

[Tom Griswold]

It's unbelievable.

[Christy Lee]

Great. Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

What a show off she is.

[Christy Lee]

I don't know what the hell she's thinking.

[Josh Arnold]

I love when animals are hands.

[Tom Griswold]

Has it ever been determined why dogs do that around the world thing before they.

[Christy Lee]

And then end up in. Oh, I thought you meant around the world thing and then catch the ball

[Chick McGee]

got up from dog lovers. No, dog owners. You know when they're going to do it?

[Tom Griswold]

I mean.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, when they go out there and oh, oh, here we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm right.

[Tom Griswold]

Every time they spin around into the

[Chick McGee]

crowd, they do the thing and look around and they're.

[Tom Griswold]

I've started to do that at home.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, why not?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, that's lovely.

[Chick McGee]

I know you have go in the

[Tom Griswold]

bathroom, do three twirls, then sit.

[Chick McGee]

I know you have close friends and I know none of them are here in the room right now. But you would you go out outside to use the bathroom, which you would.

[Tom Griswold]

But could you be able to do? No.

[Chick McGee]

Right next to your best friend? Like my dogs do number two, too. Yeah, I mean, the whole bottle.

[Josh Arnold]

Surely you've been stall to stall.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, that's the thing.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that's true.

[Josh Arnold]

Now, do you want your buddy talking?

[Pat Godwin]

No, no, we were just talking in the stall.

[Tom Griswold]

No, but we were both peeing.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And it was the standard thing. I walk in and Pat goes, God, this water's cold. Then I said deep, too. Every time. Because you have to. Really, you ladies, you know, if a lady said that to you, you'd be going, steakums.

[Jess Hooker]

I'm gonna try that next time.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, if you got steakums, get that looked at. Clean that area up.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Tuck that in.

[Christy Lee]

Now, the tricks come in all shapes and sizes.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, boy.

[Chick McGee]

Some of them are real gross. Yeah, there's.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, there's something. Something for something for everyone.

[Chick McGee]

Different ideas.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, you know any blind guys?

[Chick McGee]

Well, I'm sure you'll hit it off. Let's take a break and already stop the show. And I don't mean today's show. I mean stop the show.

[Josh Arnold]

Somebody's got to put.

[Chick McGee]

Somebody's got to stop this.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up, we have a. Where a trapeze artist.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, God.

[Tom Griswold]

Meets incontinence in midair. On the way.

[Chick McGee]

Please tell me it was in midair

[Josh Arnold]

and falling over the crowd.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, this happen.

[Chick McGee]

And there's. There are kids there with their little spin spinny lights things and a mommy.

[Tom Griswold]

Also is the future your job involving you getting a microchip implanted in your body so the boss knows where you are. We're gonna find out. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Excuse me. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios.

[Chick McGee]

Hey. Welcome back to the Violent Top show. Man, that hurt. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

What'd you do?

[Chick McGee]

Trapped my finger in the microphone stand and almost pulled my fingernail off.

[Tom Griswold]

Chicken. Really? You got guys working. You got guys working in oil rigs that lose their hand. They're not complaining.

[Chick McGee]

And I'm sneaky clumsy.

[Tom Griswold]

They put a band aid on it and say, let's keep working. There's Christine in the mic stand.

[Chick McGee]

Maybe I will kill you. Well, stab you.

[Josh Arnold]

You're not Mr. Pain Tolerance over there. We've seen you.

[Tom Griswold]

That's because of the pharmaceutical products that our great country has produced. Thank you very much.

[Chick McGee]

Wait a minute. Hold it. Let me talk about now.

[Tom Griswold]

What?

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, what do you got, huh?

[Chick McGee]

There's Pat Godwin.

[Tom Griswold]

You Holden.

[Chick McGee]

There's Jess Hooker.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

Hello. Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi there.

[Chick McGee]

Ace Cosby.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, I'm Chick Mcke.

[Tom Griswold]

Yesterday I. I took four Advil.

[Chick McGee]

Oh.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Pat Godwin]

That'll get you there.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Had a screaming headache.

[Chick McGee]

Wow. Hey, did you hear that, Pat? Four Advil.

[Josh Arnold]

Tom.

[Chick McGee]

Born to Be Wild.

[Josh Arnold]

Do non bald people know how painful it is hitting your head once you're bald? Like it's a significant difference?

[Christy Lee]

Are you serious?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Really? I was cleaning out my fireplace the other day, and then I stood up and damned if I didn't slam my skull into the. What goes over a fireplace?

[Jess Hooker]

Headboard. Fireplace mantle.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Have you ever done that? Hit your headboard on.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, everything on the mantle shifted. It was so hard.

[Tom Griswold]

Remember that bit we had about wearing a helmet to bed because you're hitting your head on the headboard? And that. We're not allowed to play that anymore.

[Chick McGee]

No, it was sexual assault.

[Josh Arnold]

Am I allowed to finish my story?

[Tom Griswold]

Go ahead. I'm sorry. I'm putting it. I'm putting it under lobster bisque, part two.

[Pat Godwin]

Easter bisque.

[Christy Lee]

It's. Yeah, it's.

[Josh Arnold]

Would you like the story better if you were telling it?

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, he would. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

So you hit your head on the mantle. Then what happened?

[Josh Arnold]

It hurt. Oh, my gosh. That would not have hurt as bad four or five, six years ago when I had a little more hair.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, you Think that the hair acts as kind of like a slippery layer, you know?

[Josh Arnold]

It does?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. He acts like he doesn't know what you're talking about.

[Chick McGee]

See, this is the thing you have. You're so judgmental. You have the judgment of a fully haired person.

[Josh Arnold]

Do you think he thinks I'm more bald than he is?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yes, absolutely. Whatever it is, you are less than he is.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I like the sound of that.

[Chick McGee]

That's exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, have we finished sports?

[Chick McGee]

Yes. What day is. Is it. Is it Friday yet? Christy, what's going on?

[Tom Griswold]

Now, I've got to warn you about this next story.

[Chick McGee]

Gonna warn you.

[Tom Griswold]

You'll see that there is a twist, but go ahead.

[Christy Lee]

Chris, how did you know what story I was gonna do?

[Chick McGee]

Because you're gonna do the one he wants you to do or there'll be consequences.

[Christy Lee]

Are we talking about the trapeze story?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

A widely circulated news story about a circus performer defecating on the audience is fake.

[Chick McGee]

Fake.

[Josh Arnold]

So sad.

[Tom Griswold]

If you've seen this, it's floating around.

[Chick McGee]

I bet it is.

[Tom Griswold]

We did. We did a little bit of research.

[Christy Lee]

The most recent iteration of the story claims an Italian aerialist performed with stomach problems and had diarrhea during his act.

[Chick McGee]

It's a My fault.

[Christy Lee]

Showering 23 people watching from Bel.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello. See, the beauty of this is. Oh, I wrote that line. The beauty of the story is they make it sound more authentic by having them of certain ethnicities. He's an Italian, but he craps all over people in Spain.

[Pat Godwin]

Did it hit the fans?

[Josh Arnold]

Has he redeemed himself at all?

[Tom Griswold]

That's kind of neutral.

[Christy Lee]

No, that was good.

[Josh Arnold]

You know what?

[Chick McGee]

I'm sorry, I'm hearing It's good, Pat. Well done, Pat.

[Josh Arnold]

You've stopped the bleeding.

[Chick McGee]

Yes. You know, an easier way to do this is just shut up.

[Christy Lee]

The website Snopes, however, discovered that the story dates back to 2019, when the website There Is News posted a satirical article about a trapeze artist with diarrhea who reportedly defecated on 23 people at a circus.

[Chick McGee]

I've always. I've had it with Snopes. Who's checking up on Snopes?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I.

[Tom Griswold]

That's somebody.

[Josh Arnold]

It's just like this couple.

[Chick McGee]

Are you pro people? You pro snopes? I know you're pro Snopes.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah. Love snitches.

[Tom Griswold]

When I. When I first saw this story, I. I just. I was so delighted.

[Josh Arnold]

Of course. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

You think you need to convince us

[Tom Griswold]

of this cuz a. I'm A huge fan of trapeze artists and high wire

[Chick McGee]

people and B, high wire people.

[Tom Griswold]

Hear people.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Anyway, and then I found out that Osce's sister in law has a trapeze school.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, she does.

[Tom Griswold]

Which is incredible.

[Josh Arnold]

Can we go do that?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, my gosh, no. Why would you want to do that?

[Josh Arnold]

You know, like you kind of strap on the harnesses.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm just. I don't know much about it. But you'd be a catcher.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, boy.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know.

[Josh Arnold]

He's.

[Jess Hooker]

They're called a base.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, we got terms over here. You know what this will be, this will be interesting for you. There might be someone here who knows what they're talking about.

[Tom Griswold]

I hate that.

[Chick McGee]

I know.

[Josh Arnold]

And I'll have you know I can soar through the air like the thinnest wife you've ever seen.

[Chick McGee]

I'm Brendan Fraser. I won an Oscar.

[Tom Griswold]

Don't you love those old trapeze movies where they.

[Christy Lee]

Of course.

[Tom Griswold]

And there's me.

[Chick McGee]

It wasn't a genre. The Greatest show on Earth in terms

[Tom Griswold]

of the trapeze guy. There's some romance thing. Where is he going to drop the guy on purpose

[Josh Arnold]

so that the girl is forced to go with him?

[Tom Griswold]

You know, the great Bambino. Is banging Mrs. Bambino confusing his stories.

[Chick McGee]

I. I didn't want to see this at first, but now I find out Babe Ruth said

[Tom Griswold]

he was also a catcher. He was a man of a certain size. Sure you don't want to have the, you know, big guy?

[Chick McGee]

Josh, if I were you, I'd punch him right in the throat. Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I'll have my. I'll have my day.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. So anyway, Cirque the crappy is fake,

[Josh Arnold]

so that's a shame.

[Christy Lee]

It's fake.

[Josh Arnold]

That's a great story. Especially if they were. If she were flipping through the air.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, come on.

[Pat Godwin]

You'd laugh if you saw it in the video.

[Christy Lee]

No, I wouldn't. Yeah, they'd be terrified.

[Josh Arnold]

Did they have an AI video to accompany it?

[Tom Griswold]

There's a still photograph of an actual trapeze artist.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Why didn't.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe somebody did an AI would it

[Chick McGee]

take like 30 seconds to make an AI of a trapeze artist crapping in midair?

[Christy Lee]

A 64 year old woman has been arrested in the Dominican Republic.

[Josh Arnold]

Man, that's so old.

[Christy Lee]

Oh. After being accused of disrespecting the national anti anthem, the Dominican Republic has a law prohibiting disrespectful renditions of their anthem.

[Chick McGee]

Take off your hat.

[Christy Lee]

This story of Ms. Amaryllis Brito Rodriguez has gone viral. Brito. E R I T. Oh, did.

[Chick McGee]

I didn't say it means pen, doesn't it?

[Christy Lee]

On social media after she sang the anthem to the high tempo local rhythm called Dembao during a karaoke at a restaurant.

[Chick McGee]

No, no.

[Christy Lee]

Is it Dembow or Dembo does What?

[Josh Arnold]

Run down Dembos.

[Chick McGee]

No, Lil John for you.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm not familiar with this work.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm sure.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm sure he's very good.

[Christy Lee]

A police report issued Tuesday accuses her of disrespecting the anthem by performing it in an urban style genre at a restaurant.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, Tom's against that as well.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But I mean. Well, first, if this were a law. Disrespecting the national anthem in the Dominican Republic is a law, right?

[Christy Lee]

If they did it here.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Roseanne Barr would still be in jail.

[Christy Lee]

Yes. So would Carl Lewis.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Interesting. And of course, the national anthem in the Dominican Republic is Take Me out to the Ball Game.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

A lot of very good ballplayers there, I would imagine. I would imagine if you took the aggregate salaries of the Dominican Republic gents who play in major League baseball, it would probably be larger than the gross national product of the Dominican Republic Republic.

[Josh Arnold]

Maybe.

[Tom Griswold]

They get paid a lot of money.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, they do.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, we don't have that law here, but I am a big fan, though, of. Of artists that take some chances with the national anthem.

[Christy Lee]

And are you?

[Tom Griswold]

I am. Yeah. There's.

[Chick McGee]

It's this Jose Feliciano thing. He fell in love with one guy.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, no, there was. The one at the super bowl was great.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

There weren't too many chances taken with

[Tom Griswold]

that, but I mean, there. It's become a little more. More artistic than just having the, you know, generic white boy choir sing it.

[Josh Arnold]

It's certainly a thankless gig, and so I appreciate anybody that does it.

[Pat Godwin]

I did it.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, really?

[Tom Griswold]

What was the event?

[Pat Godwin]

Philly, Phillies, Cubs game.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Christy Lee]

That's a big deal online.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And the secret is you got to start low, Right?

[Josh Arnold]

Start low

[Tom Griswold]

because rockets red glare creeps up on you.

[Pat Godwin]

It all creeps up on you.

[Tom Griswold]

Not everybody can make it.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I feel like I'm being creeped up.

[Tom Griswold]

Huh? What? And the rockets, you get that alfalfa thing.

[Chick McGee]

You know, the alfalfa thing.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm over here.

[Chick McGee]

What are you doing?

[Christy Lee]

No, it's time to take a break, dude.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up, we have an app in the realm of phallus dissatisfaction.

[Chick McGee]

Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

If you will. And it's quite interesting, I predict an off label use of this.

[Christy Lee]

You do?

[Tom Griswold]

I'M just telling you right now. You'll find out what I'm talking about and perhaps embrace it. Perhaps reject it.

[Josh Arnold]

Would you like to embrace mine?

[Tom Griswold]

I'll get the tweezers. These are the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Hello.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee at the News Dash. Hello, Pat Godwin. Hey, what do you do, Pat? What is it?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know anymore.

[Jess Hooker]

There's so much going on.

[Chick McGee]

He does.

[Christy Lee]

He's.

[Chick McGee]

He's. A flurry of activity, but what? One song? Two songs.

[Josh Arnold]

What was it?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, new songs today.

[Tom Griswold]

We got a jokes. We got a new one.

[Chick McGee]

There's Jess Hooker. Hi, There's Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi there.

[Chick McGee]

Ace Cosby's here. Hey. Hey, indeed. I'm Chick. Hello, Tom. Where do we go?

[Tom Griswold]

What are you doing? Let's. I want to hear this song. What's going on over there?

[Pat Godwin]

Well, they're new. It could suck. You never know. Had a weird day.

[Christy Lee]

Why do you say that? You. If you put out that bad negative energy, then.

[Tom Griswold]

I'll just do the intro. Ladies and gentlemen, based on what he's done so far, this new song, the Ballad of Lobster Bisque.

[Pat Godwin]

No, no. Easter bisque.

[Christy Lee]

Easter bisque.

[Pat Godwin]

Lentils.

[Chick McGee]

Why do you keep saying lobster for Easter? You think Jesus has claws?

[Tom Griswold]

Jesus Claws was slightly heavier.

[Chick McGee]

That would make sense.

[Tom Griswold]

What is. Do we need any context here?

[Pat Godwin]

Not really. You sung a little bit of American Pie before. Didn't remind me. Reminded me of my Tiki Bar days. I'll sing. I'll sing about that. I'm a guy with a guitar at the Tiki Bar playing cover songs for Boomers. My case is open for tips. I used to work the ships. No, I don't know dreams from rumors. I know most Beatle tunes and some James Taylor songs. But I've just about had my fill of requests. West for Wagon Wheel, American Pie and Margaritaville. Where did I go wrong in my career? I thought I'd go real far. I'm no rock star, just a guy with a guitar at a South Florida tiki bar. Years ago, I got fired from the cruise ships. When someone yelled, do American Pie, I said, I hate that fuck effing guy. But I didn't say effing. I once opened for that guy. I hate him. You can't curse on a cruise ship. So I got sent home from Ensenada. I flew back to Fort Lauderdale. I work a joint now down by the harbor. That's why I don't drink anymore. I don't drink any less. I'm a survivor, not a star. I'm just the guy with a guitar and a tip jar banging boomer broads from the tiki bar. I'll do this till I die, but I won't play American Pie. F that guy.

[Christy Lee]

That's so true though if you go to any down in Florida, I always

[Josh Arnold]

felt like it was probably a pretty good gig.

[Christy Lee]

I always felt you got to walk. Sorry for those guys.

[Tom Griswold]

Really.

[Josh Arnold]

You got to walk out of the wins 200 bucks a night.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, they're.

[Pat Godwin]

It's about a one. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

There are a couple of those guys at some. At some major bars that.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Make a great living.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. You do that for four hours a night. The rest of the time you just chill out.

[Tom Griswold]

The thing is, the key is the repertoire. I. There's no way to not sound this lofty and pretentious. But then it's me, so of course why was.

[Chick McGee]

We were really feel like you have to qualify.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I know I probably don't have to buy now. We were in Vail and we were walking by one of the.

[Chick McGee]

We were in Vail.

[Tom Griswold]

Opera. Opera Ski places.

[Pat Godwin]

There's a guy in Bill. The real good guy.

[Tom Griswold]

There he is. He is very good.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Steve.

[Tom Griswold]

Good guy. This wasn't that guy.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, the bad guy.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, this is a bad guy. Bad guy.

[Christy Lee]

This is Brad. Bad guy.

[Tom Griswold]

No, it was. It was.

[Chick McGee]

It was a good guy, though.

[Tom Griswold]

The thing is, it's about the repertoire.

[Josh Arnold]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

There are. There are lots of great apres ski songs or whatever.

[Chick McGee]

Ski One more time.

[Christy Lee]

Apresky song.

[Josh Arnold]

I am kind of with Christian. What is like a classic apres ski song?

[Christy Lee]

Well.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, it just.

[Pat Godwin]

Is there songs about skiing?

[Tom Griswold]

No, no. Well, not really. It's just there's. It's got to be kind of upbeat and fun. Me and Julio and this guy was just playing all these really sad dirges. Just kind of missing the point.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, man, that's where his headspace is.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, no one wants to get off the chairlift and look at some snow bunny and hear Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. It's a great song, but.

[Chick McGee]

And do you want to get off the chairlift and look at a snow bunny?

[Tom Griswold]

I. I have my own snow bunny. I bring with me.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, taking sand to the.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm not sure what that means.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, me either.

[Josh Arnold]

Means you don't have to bring your own. They're all there.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

I defend your right to say it,

[Tom Griswold]

but you understand what I mean. There's certain songs you just don't want to they're too sad.

[Josh Arnold]

Sure, sure.

[Tom Griswold]

You don't want to be sitting there with a bunch of folks. They're having a great time, and all of a sudden he plays Tears in Heaven.

[Christy Lee]

That's always a downer.

[Josh Arnold]

That might cause me to leave the apres ski.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, Josh, I'm sure if you're ever at a an apres ski, you'll be either the waiter or the bartender.

[Josh Arnold]

I'd rather be on an operating table than at an opera.

[Tom Griswold]

Ski.

[Christy Lee]

That isn't nice.

[Tom Griswold]

Too much fun.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know. Is it fun?

[Josh Arnold]

Is it? Yes. What?

[Chick McGee]

How many runs do you have a

[Christy Lee]

beer after your skiing?

[Chick McGee]

How many runs a day you get?

[Tom Griswold]

It depends.

[Chick McGee]

Well, humor me.

[Josh Arnold]

Boy, there's not much powder on the third run, is there?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, as it happened, I spent most of my time on chair two. The back bowls were closed.

[Chick McGee]

You know, you got to be nice about that if you want the back bowl.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I would walk away and just set my head in the fireplace.

[Tom Griswold]

What do you have against skiing? You'd be great at it.

[Chick McGee]

Do they sell fake casts that you can just put around your leg and sit in front?

[Tom Griswold]

I could get you a fake cast tomorrow.

[Christy Lee]

Or you can just use a boot. Everybody, you know what?

[Chick McGee]

I believe that I would like to, to see that.

[Josh Arnold]

No.

[Chick McGee]

Go online.

[Tom Griswold]

Google fake cast cast.

[Josh Arnold]

Sure, sure.

[Chick McGee]

But I, I, I would do that. Sit. I'd love to go come join you guys, but I'm going to sit here by the fire. I broke my leg.

[Tom Griswold]

There's a store in Orlando that sells them so people can go to Disney World, not have to get in line.

[Josh Arnold]

That's amazing. If there was that right there in Kissimmee.

[Tom Griswold]

Mickey Fakers.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, man.

[Chick McGee]

Nikki Fakers.

[Christy Lee]

There's nothing, there's nothing wrong with sitting by the fire with a hot toddy waiting for people to come back.

[Josh Arnold]

Fun.

[Pat Godwin]

Andy, More hot toddy.

[Christy Lee]

Andy won't ski.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, Chrissy, I'll get you a hot toddy. Hang on a second. I have to go to the restroom now.

[Tom Griswold]

Pat, have you ever had a bar gig like that where you're.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, many.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, you wanted to. You wanted to sing along. Song. The killer is the John Denver Virginia song. That thing gets the crowd going.

[Pat Godwin]

Virginia.

[Tom Griswold]

Western country roads.

[Christy Lee]

Country roads.

[Tom Griswold]

West Virginia.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, sure, yeah. West Virginia is.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

It's near Virginia, but it's.

[Chick McGee]

I'm disappointed he said it that way, and I'm disappointed I understood what he's talking about.

[Tom Griswold]

That's. That gets the crowd going nuts.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, they'll sing along Most of those single tiki bar guys are just kind of filler. Like you're at the pool.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

And you're just sitting there having, you know, know. At least that's the good ones can

[Tom Griswold]

really engage the audience. And they'll do single.

[Christy Lee]

That's a band, maybe, but. I don't know. Just a single guy.

[Tom Griswold]

Bob used to do it. Bob's great at it.

[Christy Lee]

Well, I can see Bob. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Pat, have you ever done a dueling pianos place?

[Pat Godwin]

I did do a dueling piano place. I was a piano guy when I first started out.

[Josh Arnold]

Those can be a riot.

[Christy Lee]

Those can be fun.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they do a lot of our stuff uncredited. Oh, you hear a lot of Haywood stuff.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

You sound bitter.

[Josh Arnold]

You sound like you want something.

[Christy Lee]

What do you want from them?

[Josh Arnold]

Credit.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, here's one I didn't write. And then they go on.

[Christy Lee]

Well, they don't play any songs. They write. Usually it's all other people's music.

[Josh Arnold]

The whole thing.

[Christy Lee]

They don't credit.

[Tom Griswold]

Have you ever done a post ski event?

[Pat Godwin]

Never a ski event. No. Just. Oh, many, many, many, many.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you squeeze one of your tunes in? After squeeze?

[Pat Godwin]

I did my own songs, which was kind of the kiss of death, you know, Not Lighthouse. I did Lighthouse. I did it. I did it all, baby.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

If it's something they don't recognize, I imagine that's tough.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. I would do like three sets of that, and then the last set would be Beetle covers and stuff like that.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you get your car keyed a lot?

[Pat Godwin]

No. No, I didn't have a car. You don't have a car when you

[Tom Griswold]

play a tiki bar and you can't remember the bus.

[Chick McGee]

The bus story. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

I feel sad for those guys that want, you know, tips because nobody carries cash anymore.

[Chick McGee]

Now they.

[Josh Arnold]

I've seen some with QR codes.

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Or Venmo codes, whatever.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

I know.

[Josh Arnold]

They have found a way.

[Tom Griswold]

But you do raise a good point,

[Christy Lee]

because I always try to tip a live musician. Always? Sure. Kind of my thing.

[Pat Godwin]

But I'm right here.

[Josh Arnold]

Have you ever dipped Pat in this room?

[Pat Godwin]

Nothing.

[Josh Arnold]

He's got two cups.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, why not? Why don't you have like, a fishbowl?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Why don't you have a tip jar? If you had a tip jar, maybe I'd do.

[Tom Griswold]

There we go.

[Christy Lee]

I'll go get some money for you.

[Chick McGee]

Dear Sarah, Bob and Tom show. Yes, today's show is one of the many reasons I listen. Thanks for making me laugh, Chad from o', Fallon, Missouri.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, you're welcome, Chad from Where?

[Chick McGee]

Stop around Missouri.

[Tom Griswold]

Oala.

[Josh Arnold]

Like if you're yelling for Jimmy o'. Fallon.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I thought it was more like.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, we need some birthday party games over here. Jimmy, come on.

[Tom Griswold]

I thought it was Franklin Roosevelt. Where's my dog? Oh, Fowler. What? What? Oh, my chick.

[Chick McGee]

You had a dog was named Fowler.

[Tom Griswold]

Didn't you know that?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, but.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, but that doesn't mean we had

[Chick McGee]

to follow Roosevelt's laugh uproariously.

[Tom Griswold]

Roosevelt's dog was named Lobster Bisque.

[Pat Godwin]

Easter bisque.

[Christy Lee]

Easter bisque.

[Tom Griswold]

No such thing as Easter bisque.

[Chick McGee]

You. Oh, my God, you have a brain injury. I really, really. There's something going on. Your synapses aren't synapses.

[Tom Griswold]

I got to get some sleep.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, is that the issue?

[Tom Griswold]

I had to get up extra early today because the dog got your dogs. No, no, no, no, no. I had a dog issue. It was thundering. It was thundering last night, and one of my dogs completely freaks out. And he wouldn't go out to pee or poop last night before I went to bed, so I knew that he had one in the chamber, and I didn't want him, you know, to. I'm saying.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, yeah, I did can hold it.

[Tom Griswold]

Not that long. He can't do a 12 hour.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, most dogs can.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I don't want to be the. It was an incident last week. I don't want to have to spend an hour doing that again.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, no, Nobody.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah, I know.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Got the steamer out.

[Tom Griswold]

I did.

[Chick McGee]

Have you seen a online viral a Roomba running through dog poo on a white carpet?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, we've.

[Chick McGee]

We had the story, gorgeous.

[Tom Griswold]

And apparently the new Roombas have a.

[Christy Lee]

They have a pet protector on them now.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, supposedly.

[Josh Arnold]

What?

[Chick McGee]

Well, how's it working?

[Tom Griswold]

Were you here the day we had the story about the guy that hacked?

[Chick McGee]

I'm here. So little.

[Christy Lee]

No, he wasn't here that day because we did the same.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that'll get him back more often.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that helps.

[Chick McGee]

You know what? I. I missed what he said. Go ahead, Pat. Go do what, what. What he said.

[Tom Griswold]

I said, this guy. This guy hacked. It wasn't the room. It was an off brand of Roomba, isn't it?

[Josh Arnold]

The Romeo or something.

[Tom Griswold]

And this guy, some guy, he was able to hack into it and he could see. I didn't realize they have cameras on him. He could see and hear into other people's apartments and houses. Yeah, somehow.

[Chick McGee]

Time now for our newest feature, an alien visit Earth. Time now for the alien who just discovered things here on Earth.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you ever go to Dairy Queen and you get a vanilla cone and then they dip it in chocolate and the chocolate hardens. Those are great.

[Chick McGee]

This has been the. Who just discovered things.

[Josh Arnold]

It sounded like he was reading from a script. So then that just adds to the alien.

[Chick McGee]

Just the gravitas, the alienness of it.

[Christy Lee]

They've had that since the 50s.

[Josh Arnold]

But it's one of.

[Pat Godwin]

Did you ever have a vanilla?

[Tom Griswold]

I hadn't had one in a long time.

[Christy Lee]

That's really.

[Tom Griswold]

That's so great in the.

[Josh Arnold]

And the.

[Tom Griswold]

And the chocolate breaks off in chunks.

[Josh Arnold]

I. I know this is a point of contention in this room, but does Dairy Queen have waffle cones?

[Christy Lee]

I don't know. I don't think so.

[Josh Arnold]

That's a mistake.

[Jess Hooker]

I feel like they do.

[Josh Arnold]

They're alienating half the time.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. I was gonna say, I think they do.

[Tom Griswold]

Do they do.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay. Or the waffle bowl. I insist on that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I got. I like those sugar cones. Yeah, but see, I. I would say that the. The vanilla cone dipped in chocolate is significantly better than the twisto thing.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

I disagree. But I appreciate it.

[Chick McGee]

It's swirl.

[Josh Arnold]

I like the taste of the chocolate ice cream better than the taste of the hard shell. Sometimes that hard shell gets.

[Tom Griswold]

So do you. When you get the swirl, do you try to use your tongue deftly? And I know that you are proud of your tongue work? Do you deftly eat the chocolate first and then go back and eat the. What is left of the structure of the vanilla?

[Josh Arnold]

Now that's a skill.

[Tom Griswold]

You do that. You do that on the first date.

[Josh Arnold]

You're right. I get the chocolate helix, we call it.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you. That's a famous book. Watson and Crick, I believe.

[Josh Arnold]

Chocolate Helix.

[Tom Griswold]

Chocolate Helix.

[Josh Arnold]

Sounds like a movie Jim Brown would

[Tom Griswold]

have starred in the 70s where he plays a scientist. He discovers deep DNA.

[Christy Lee]

By the way, many Dairy Queen locations offer waffle cones and waffle bowls.

[Josh Arnold]

Very glad.

[Christy Lee]

It depends on the franchisee.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay, so, yeah, I will flip a table at the franchisees that don't have waffle cones.

[Chick McGee]

They've anticipated this. Those tables are bolted into the floor.

[Tom Griswold]

One I go has curry cones.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, really?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Josh Arnold]

I know exactly what part of town.

[Christy Lee]

I know exactly where that. That one is too.

[Tom Griswold]

They are wonderful. People.

[Christy Lee]

Are wonderful.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm a big fan.

[Chick McGee]

They are wonderful. He thinks he saved him. He really, really does.

[Tom Griswold]

Now should. Are we going to. Oh, boy. We're.

[Chick McGee]

Shut up.

[Christy Lee]

Here's a story. Lawmakers in Washington state have proposed a bill that would restrict employers from microchipping workers According to kcpq, this sounds like. How is this even a thing?

[Josh Arnold]

Orwellian, isn't it?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

House Bill 2303 would ensure that employers are never able to track workers through subdermal chips or surveil them. The bill explicitly states that businesses, quote, may not request, require, of course, any employee to have a microchip implanted in said employee for any reason.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, Mr. Godwin, I was reviewing yesterday's work hours. It appears you spent 27 minutes at the water cooler.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, we were discussing a bit. I said Easter biscuit says, I don't know. Not funny enough.

[Tom Griswold]

Is anyone. Is this a thing? Is there some business that wanted to apparently subdermal chip you.

[Christy Lee]

What have we learned? There wouldn't be a law if somebody wasn't trying to do it.

[Josh Arnold]

Was it here in the States, Christy?

[Christy Lee]

Washington state.

[Josh Arnold]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. I'll bet there are certain nerds that would want it done.

[Josh Arnold]

For what reason? What do you think they would?

[Tom Griswold]

Just to be in the cutting edge.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I gotcha, man.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, how would you feel if. Now, I'd be fully in favor of this if. Because I hate going to a new doctor. And then you have to spend three hours filling out the same forms you've done 3,000 times. If you could get a microchip that would have your medical records in it. You just walk up, there's a problem.

[Christy Lee]

I mean, would you be able to change it?

[Josh Arnold]

I think that's where we're headed.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, we're headed there.

[Jess Hooker]

It's not on your phone. You can't save that stuff on your phone.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, there are particular apps, but not. But not every. The doctor's office is not coordinated.

[Chick McGee]

It's called my chart, and I check in before I even get there, no matter what.

[Josh Arnold]

Office.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, no kidding.

[Tom Griswold]

I had a thing. I spent two hours, one weekend filling out the whole thing. Thing. And I got to the office, and I had to do it over on a crappy clipboard with a pen that was too big and the spaces were.

[Chick McGee]

My God, man.

[Josh Arnold]

They have to get us better.

[Christy Lee]

It was not a fine point.

[Tom Griswold]

That's fine.

[Chick McGee]

Sounds like a nightmare.

[Tom Griswold]

Am I correct when I say those forms that it'll have put your Social Security number, your mother's maiden name, the zip code of the Pope, and a sperm sample of your priest, and. And then they give you, like, a little teeny area?

[Pat Godwin]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

That's not even the hardest part.

[Chick McGee]

No, that's. Yeah, that stuff's everywhere. Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, Pat, you got any weird, weird lobster bisque jokes?

[Pat Godwin]

Easter bisque.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Why are you saying a lobster?

[Tom Griswold]

Cuz that's the. Or it's lobster bisque is the only bisque out there.

[Jess Hooker]

But that's not the joke.

[Chick McGee]

That's what we were talking.

[Christy Lee]

There's a seafood bisque. There's all kinds of bisque.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

There's a chicken bisque. Of course.

[Tom Griswold]

There's the fast one.

[Chick McGee]

Let me tell you something. You're climbing out of the hole, buddy.

[Tom Griswold]

There's the fast one. Besoker bisque.

[Chick McGee]

Quick. Son of a bisque.

[Josh Arnold]

I love bisquick.

[Christy Lee]

I do too. You can do so much with bisquick.

[Chick McGee]

You know you can't. Cornbread. It's a pancake. It's a waffle. It's amazing.

[Tom Griswold]

What a quick meal. Lobster bisquick. Oh, this is delightful. For Lent. Okay, it's off the rails. Time to take a breath.

[Josh Arnold]

I blame Allie Brain.

[Chick McGee]

Yep.

[Josh Arnold]

If she had called in like she was supposed to, we wouldn't have done any of this nonsense.

[Chick McGee]

We sat here and looked at our watch.

[Tom Griswold]

Have we ever had. Have we ever had Al Jackson sit in with Ali Breen?

[Josh Arnold]

I don't think. No. We sometimes want to hear Ali talk.

[Chick McGee]

Why would you do that? Why would you do that?

[Tom Griswold]

I can be. Interesting perspective.

[Josh Arnold]

No, we, we did have them both on the road with us one time.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

Around the block.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, good. Let's see now.

[Chick McGee]

American finance.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, well, I'm going to get to that in a second. I think we have to save this story about the app for tomorrow because it's, it's going to be a lengthy discussion, I think.

[Chick McGee]

What's the app for?

[Tom Griswold]

It's involves your wiener. Thank you. Remember, they're, they're having read this. I'll put it this way. There truly is an app for everything at this point. I know that your refrigerator Chick has an app and a pass and a password. Right. Coming up, we will return to the place where we are and we hope you are with us. Of course. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show where you're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

Hello indeed. Hello, Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

Hello, Jess Hooker.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Josh Arnold. Hi. There's Ace Cosby. Hello, I'm Chick McGee. And hello. Lobster bisque. How's it going?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, nice to see you.

[Chick McGee]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

Christy Lee is over there at the news desk. Did we ever get to the story about the benefits of bird watching? I know I teased it we did the whole story last week because Christy is. I don't know if you know that. She is a birder, as they call it.

[Christy Lee]

I'm a bird killer. I don't know which.

[Josh Arnold]

No, that's not you.

[Chick McGee]

No, no.

[Josh Arnold]

The only thing you're guilty of is maybe cleaning your windows too.

[Christy Lee]

Down to. Too.

[Tom Griswold]

I know, but you got birds hitting you. Have you.

[Chick McGee]

Are you guys up on the bird watching technology where they have the. The bird houses with the remote cameras?

[Christy Lee]

I have that.

[Chick McGee]

And yeah, you could take pictures of them.

[Tom Griswold]

All sorts of stuff.

[Christy Lee]

Really nice.

[Tom Griswold]

The eagle cams until the.

[Christy Lee]

Until the raccoons steal it, but that's another story.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you ever find out if there's anything you can do to the windows to keep the birds from.

[Christy Lee]

No, I should look that up.

[Tom Griswold]

Isn't there something like dangling.

[Christy Lee]

I'm getting a brand new sliding glass door next week, too. Thanks, champion. And I'm really worried because then it'll even be better or glass.

[Josh Arnold]

What you do is you. When the birds hit the glass and die, you tear off their heads and put them on little pikes. And then that's a warning to the other boy.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

That sends a message.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, is there really. We need to find out.

[Jess Hooker]

You have to soap your windows.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes. Well, you have to do that for the neighborhood perverts. Anyway.

[Christy Lee]

That kind of defeats the purpose of having window. There's got to be something you hang.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I know.

[Christy Lee]

Put the curtain snake or something.

[Tom Griswold]

Put the curtain on the outside.

[Christy Lee]

I don't have curtains.

[Chick McGee]

The curtains on the outside?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

I don't have any curtains.

[Chick McGee]

Dear Bob and Tom Show.

[Josh Arnold]

On the outside,

[Tom Griswold]

you have to make them out of canvas bur lappers.

[Chick McGee]

Dear Bob and Tom Show. I heard Christy talking about feeling sorry for the bird in the restaurant about a week and a half ago.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

I saw her trying to feed a bird inside the terminal at the airport.

[Christy Lee]

I did it. Wouldn't eat Baked Lays. That's all I had.

[Josh Arnold]

You're trying to feed a bird in the terminal? The airport.

[Christy Lee]

Because it was stuck in the airport.

[Chick McGee]

This is the way we felt. Find out about it.

[Christy Lee]

Well, I wasn't gonna tell you.

[Chick McGee]

I'm thinking she's attracting the indoor birds. You're the crazy bird lady.

[Christy Lee]

I felt so bad for this little bird. It was trapped in the. So all I had on me was Baked Lays, but he had no interest in that.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Keep trying to feed him. You'll have more on you than that.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Are you saying the bird would vomit on her?

[Tom Griswold]

No, no. You're getting close.

[Josh Arnold]

Especially if they're the old Bake lays with the Elestra.

[Chick McGee]

Whoa.

[Christy Lee]

No, I. Never mind.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, if anyone knows if there's anything she can do to her windows to keep the birds from flying into them.

[Josh Arnold]

A rubber snake might help.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I've heard that. What about real attractive? When you walk in my house and there's rubber snakes.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. Like a plastic owl with a head.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Kind of shakes around and stuff. You do that.

[Christy Lee]

It says you can put window decals like bird silhouettes so birds can see.

[Chick McGee]

Like STP or Tesla.

[Tom Griswold]

Your husband. We would like that. Firestone and huge letters, 500.

[Josh Arnold]

I had to get rid of my plastic owl that I had.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Because every time I looked at it, I got excited thinking I was being invited to Hogwarts. Turned out it was just a plastic owl.

[Tom Griswold]

Owl you see in Hogwarts. Very famous.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

White owl. Hey, hey.

[Josh Arnold]

That's how you would get invited to Hogwarts. The owl would deliver, of course.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I. I know. I've even read the books. Hey, we had a story yesterday about owls. Yeah, that was pretty cool. Did you hear this, Ms. Hooker?

[Jess Hooker]

I didn't. I missed it.

[Tom Griswold]

Scientists want to know. They were trying to figure out how owls, they can fly so quietly, so they've done a bunch of this. This sounds like a joke. It's not. They were able to isolate this compound and they are now developing a kind of a. It was a liquid thing, right? Or kind of a geno gel that. That will help reduce noise. They think they might be able to put it on fences and stuff in the future to cut down on noise

[Christy Lee]

because they fly so silently.

[Chick McGee]

Huh.

[Tom Griswold]

And Don, did you know what you call a. Call a baby owl? It's. No, it's. It's called an owlette. Oh.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Now if you.

[Chick McGee]

It is.

[Tom Griswold]

It really is a moist outlet. If it's. Only if it's raining, then it's a moisture.

[Josh Arnold]

You don't know how badly you just broke his heart.

[Christy Lee]

I know he wanted to say that so badly.

[Chick McGee]

I'm sorry.

[Tom Griswold]

Ergo. Ergo timing.

[Christy Lee]

There apparently is the Visual Bird deterrent device with reflective hanging designs. A set of three I can buy for. Well, let's see. How much is going to set me back. Oh, $17.

[Tom Griswold]

What about a strobe light?

[Josh Arnold]

That way it looks like the owl's coming at you.

[Chick McGee]

How about a disco ball?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, there you go.

[Pat Godwin]

Have Joy Behar stand there.

[Chick McGee]

She'll scare anything. You know what I mean?

[Tom Griswold]

Like a scarecrow, you mean. Okay. Is there a line of Joy Behar scarecrows.

[Chick McGee]

We better put an end to this Cracker Jack broadcast.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, this one's in the dumpster. Thanks for joining us. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Add to or continue the conversation.

[Pat Godwin]

Check out, check out the Bob and

[Chick McGee]

Tom show on Facebook. Get the [e-mail] this is the Bob

[Josh Arnold]

and Tom Show, Westwood One Sports Talk.

[Pat Godwin]

Start your day with Drake C. Toll,

[Chick McGee]

the same guy who had the correct top three teams in the preseason.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's me. Is going to give you the correct prediction for the big championship game for free. Ben Black and Abdallah.

[Jess Hooker]

What an incredible shot.

[Chick McGee]

We've got college hoops, spring training and everything happening in the NFL.

[Pat Godwin]

And Westwood One Sports Night not even

[Chick McGee]

close to being tired right now on

[Pat Godwin]

Westwood One Sports Night, Westwood One Sports Talk.

[Josh Arnold]

Follow and listen on your favorite platform.