← The Bobby Bones Show
The Bobby Bones Show
Father Knows Less: Do Baby's cries affect Moms & Dads differently & The BEST baby gifts to give
00:39:31
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Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
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Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
Hey everybody. Welcome to another episode of Father Knows Less. I'm the father. I know Less. I'm Bobby. However you're hearing or watching this, it's just me in a room sitting here looking at notes that I've taken over the past. Looks like now about two and a half to three weeks. So this is a different kind of show for me because I literally just Keep notes of things that come to mind inside my notes app. And then when I hit about seven, I go, hey, we should record another one. Or if I have a friend that is having a baby or had a baby or knows a baby or is a baby, I'm like, hey, why don't you stop in and let's talk about it? So that's where we are as of today. I just had two months. Baby's two months old, which is pretty cool, Pretty crazy. She got a lot of hair. She pretty much got her rhythms down. But we're definitely in the stage now of. And Caitlin, more than me, of just being tired as just a baseline. We don't have a nanny or anything, but can you have a nanny for a newborn? Because, like, what even would you do as a nanny for a newborn? And I know that people probably have them. I wish we had two right now, to be honest with you. But I don't think there will be enough time because my wife loves being with our baby, like, all the time. And so if you had a newborn, especially your first one, it'd be weird. Like, it might be nice for, like, a little bit of rest. But I think it would be weird for us to have a nanny because I don't think that my wife would want time for the nanny right now. That could change. Hey, you hit me up in six months. I. I may tell you, we have three nannies. I have no idea what's going on. But, yeah, newborn and a nanny kind of feels. Not wrong or anything, but I don't know where we would use it, I guess if. I don't know. I was just reading this Nick Cannon story about him, and he has 12 kids, right? And so they just announced this documentary series about him, and he has 12 kids with six different moms now. He's got to have a lot of nannies, I would assume. Also, like, I feel like at times I don't do a great job of being there with my wife all the time. And that's just because of my job, right? So I'll go in in the morning. I'll wake up at 3:40, anywhere from 3:45 to 4:15, normally. Sometimes a little earlier if I'm not sleeping at all, definitely. Sometimes a little later if I'm gonna work from home, which maybe I do about once a week. It's much easier to work from home because I can just walk 100ft. So that usually gives me about 20 minutes extra to sleep. But that being said, with all the time that I'm at work, driving to and from work, going back to work in the afternoon to do different Bobby cast stuff or sports show stuff. If I do decide to work out, like, I'm there for my wife. But even if I'm making an absolute effort to get there in between, I still feel like I'm not doing enough to help. And I don't know if it'll ever reach a point where it's like, I feel great about how much I'm able to help, but I don't feel like even with me being there for hours in the day, every day, I'm doing enough to help. How in the world can Nick Cannon, who has 12 kids with six different moms, be there unless they all, like, live right next door to each other? I mean, is that the move? You move them all and six houses right next door to each other. And I'm sure they got it figured out, but, man, I feel like I'm not there enough with one baby. How the crap does he do it with 12 kids and six parents? That is a lot of postpartum, especially if they've had those babies near each other. So that series is coming out on Netflix, which is crazy. It says from million dollar meetings to midnight diaper runs ain't doing no diver runs. If you're having a lot of million dollar meetings, you ain't doing a lot of diver runs. Especially if you have 6 moms and 12 kids. No shame. Do what's good for you. But I wonder if he feels like I feel because I got one kid and I feel like I'm not there enough. He's got 12. That is wild. So I just saw that coming in. I was just thinking about nannies because it'd be cool to have one, I thought. But then I also thought, I don't know, that we would use it all the time or much right now. Because my wife just loves or it drives her crazy when the baby's not near. And then I saw the Nick Cannon story and I was like, dude, how many nannies does he have? He's got to have a ton. So here we are. Let's go with some notes that I have here. I did mention that I bought something called the Tiny Traveler. Now, I have never been paid any money by any baby business. Big Baby money is not coming to this podcast. So there's no money from Big Baby coming at all. The Tiny Traveler is good. I don't know if it's the best. I could look up reviews, I guess I literally went to Amazon, said baby cameras and it was one that was not the most expensive, but it wasn't the cheapest. And it had pretty good reviews, maybe not the best, but not the worst. So I bought that one, and it's great. I don't know what other cameras do. It's great. It does this thing where at the end, whenever you're turning your car off, it goes ding, ding, ding, ding. And then it shows you a picture of another baby that's not your own baby. So that freaks me out a little bit every time. And the reason it shows you that picture is to remind you that there's a baby in the back, which is odd. They probably should just let you upload a picture of your own baby. Because a lot of times I'm getting out of my SUV and I got an Asian baby back there. Reminds me that there's a baby back there. But I've never actually left the baby back there in that seat. But it is good. The camera is good. I'm sure there are better. I'm sure there are worse. But the tiny Traveler has been a good addition to both of our cars because my wife and I both have them in ours now. It doesn't take up too much space either on the front windshield, which is something I worried about. Small. It's underneath the rear view. There's a tiny cable that runs through. It's not really in the way. It's not large. So I give it a solid a. I did see a Jeep this morning as I was driving into work, because now that I have one of these, I often look in other cars to see if they have any sort of baby monitor. But I was thinking this morning when I was staring inside of a Jeep all creepily, this Jeep had so many ducks on the front dash, there's no way that's safe because you turn a curve a little hard, all those ducks into the floorboard underneath your gas pedal, underneath your brake. Now you can't stop. Now the car's going, and you can't stop because you got a freaking duck underneath your brake pedal. All of a sudden, there's a mom with. With four orphan children up there that she's just taking in for the day to make sure they can get some food. You can't stop. All of a sudden, boom. You plow into them all because you got too many ducks on your Jeep. If I were a police officer, I would look for a reason to pull them over. I think that's a ticket. I think if you have more than 10 ducks on the dash of your Jeep. That's a ticket because that is extremely unsafe. Now, I was only staring in a Jeep because I was looking for baby monitors, but I made that note. Too many ducks in jeeps are unsafe. It's note number one. Next one up. Something else that I've realized is that when the baby cries, it affects Caitlin and myself wholly differently. When our baby cries, I feel like it physically hurts my wife. Her goal when the baby cries is to figure out why as fast as possible. Hungry, sleepy, physical pain, who knows? She wants to figure it out, identify the problem, fix it as fast as she can, and once the baby stops crying, she feels better. And I don't mean for this to sound bad, but when the baby cries, it doesn't bother me that much. So when the baby cries, a little bit of me goes, that's adversity, kid. Time to live with it. Now, if the baby is in physical pain, I don't want that to happen. But if she's sleepy and she's crying and she won't go down, I don't mind taking her at all. If she's just so fussy, I don't mind taking her. Going to walk with her. She can scream in my ear all day because it doesn't physically hurt me. Now, I love her and I don't want her to cry, but it really bothers my wife when the baby cries. I don't like it because I don't want something. I love to be going through any sort of struggle, but it really does not affect me in a way that it affects my wife. And I'm sure there's some biological reasons to that. Probably because that baby was inside of her body and ripped out of her vagina. I think that's probably a big part of it. It did not come out of my vagina at all. So if the baby is tired, hungry, we can identify and fix. But if she's crying and there's really nothing we can do except wait out the hard crying, I usually take the baby because it doesn't bother me that much. I sound like a jerk thing to say. I don't want her to cry. I love her. Just doesn't bother me the same as my wife. I've noticed that after the last week and a half or so. Another thing I'd like to bring up, shout out to everybody who's been getting people baby gifts since the dawn of baby giftery, because you guys are awesome. The amount of baby gifts that we got either at our door, people finding me, people coming to the house, also the art of dropping a baby gift at a front door and then texting them after, that's a plus. Because with a baby, the schedule is paramount and the baby might be asleep, the baby might be eating. And if you have to go all of a sudden, try to go to the front door and have a conversation, because you're not just going to like take a handoff from somebody and go, okay, thank you, bye. If you see somebody, you're going to have a little conversation with them. That is very difficult to do if your 7, 8 week old baby is in one of those things. Sleeping, eating. There's only like 25 minutes every three hours that the baby can be social with someone. So big shout out to people that drop baby gifts off at the front door and text you after. Because then there is no obligatory, hey, what's up? Good to see you. While in your gut, you're going, oh, she's going to start crying anytime, or, oh, I got to feed her. She should have been put down for a nap 10 minutes ago. Big shout out to you guys. Secondly, to everybody who just gets baby gifts for people, it's awesome. I was never in the culture. I've never had a baby. I don't think I've seen more than five babies in real life until my own. So I don't think I've ever gotten anybody a baby gift maybe ever. And I'm a gift guy. I like getting people gifts. I just never thought about getting someone a baby gift. One, I didn't know what to get them. Two, I don't even know what two is. I just didn't know what to get them. So I didn't even know that was like, it's not expected, but I didn't know that was part of, like, gift giving culture. To someone who has a baby, get them something. So we've had so many people do so many nice things and big shout out to all of them. What I've started doing now. And I've had three friends that have had babies since we've had one, which is kind of wild. Instead of getting them something that I know they're probably not going to use, it's going to end up being a bit of clutter. I've been sending $200 gift cards to Uber Eats because much like you take food over to somebody's house if somebody dies, people take food over to people's houses if they have a baby because it's not like you can go and you don't have time to cook. But with the Uber Eats card. You don't have to see me. This is basically me going, hey, I got you some food. I don't want to drop it off on the porch because I don't want it to go bad. Also, I don't cook, and my wife's not really cooking that much right now because she's had a baby. But this is me going, I'm going to take care of a couple meals for you. Although here's the thing about Uber Eats now, for the last year and a half or so, you can order food and you can pay the two extra dollars or so, and it's priority. It gets there a little faster. Well, now they have like two lightning bolts. Super priority. $7, which is crazy, but I just don't want my food in the backseat while somebody else is super prioritying. And I'm sitting back there, my food getting warm or cold, depending on what it is. So of course I'm hitting super priority. I got a smoothie for $3. Super priority. $15 later, I got a smoothie. But I'm now sending UberEats gift cards to folks because people got to eat. People don't want to have to see you right when they have a baby, because it's not they don't like you. It's just they got other things to worry about. And that's a baby gift. I feel like that's a good baby gift. And so that's my new move. And the great thing about Uber Eats is if you have an Uber account, obviously you can use it. You can do doordash too, if that's what they use. I'm sure there are a few of those services. But if you want to send a gift card on Uber Eats and you use it as much as I do, you hit the three dots, right? And it's like, give someone a gift. How much? You write all the stuff down and then you buy it before you can even say where it goes. So the first time I bought it, I was like, I didn't even get to say where it goes. I'm going to purchase it. Fear not. Click the how much it is. Write your little message, then buy it. Then it'll say, hey, do you want to text this? I always text it, then you can do it. So I have found that to be not just a kind gesture, but a very practical gift for someone who really needs practicality because they've just had a baby, there's no room for anything else. So big shout out to everybody who's gotten us gifts.
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Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
baby is old enough now to wear the gifts that Tim McGraw got us. The McGraws. It's not Tim, it's Tim and Faith. I don't even know if I mentioned them specifically in our baby gift giving segment. You can go back on the YouTube page and look at that, the whole thing about baby gifts. But the McGraws were really nice and they got us this expensive box of baby onesies. And on these baby onesies there's seven of them and every one of them has a different day of the week on it. And they're also really nice because the first thing I Did is Google how much they cost. I'm not gonna lie. If I go by somebody's house, I'll look up their Zillow. I see how much that costs. When I got that gift from the McGraws, I googled it up. How much does this cost? Is expensive. And it was a little big for the baby at the time, which is the right move because the baby's gonna grow into it. But she's starting to rock those, and so that's pretty cool. Although the days of the week are written in another language, I believe in French. I don't think she's matching the date at all, but we're rocking them. And I was thinking, should I send a thank you card? Now, I've never been someone that was great at sending thank you cards or handwritten notes, and I think my excuse has always been, I have bad handwriting. I think I'm just kind of lazy when it comes to that. But, man, when I get one from someone, I feel like, man, that is so thoughtful. I should do more of this smash cut. Two and a half hours later, I've forgotten about it completely, and I don't do it or think about it again until I get another one from somebody. And then I'm like, dang, I should do this same pattern over and over and over again. But. And I want to Google this because I've never looked it up. I just made a note like, are you supposed to send thank you cards as a standard for baby gifts? Let's take a look here. Because for wedding gifts, you are. When my wife and I got married, we sent thank you cards to everybody that sent us a gift for our wedding marriage. And we split those up, too, half and half. And mostly, I sent thank you cards to people on my side, and she sent them to her side. But we signed both of them, right? So she'd write it, sign her name, and then I toss my name on there. And the other one, I would write it. I'd sign my name. Then she'd go, this is terrible. She'd write a note on that one as well. Then she'd sign her name. Is it standard to send a thank you card for a baby gift? It is standard etiquette to send a handwritten thank you card for a baby gift. While not always strictly necessary in modern times, let's be honest, right now is as modern as it's ever been. In the history of time, it is considered polite to acknowledge gifts from baby showers. This is not baby shower gifts, by the way. Nope. This is gifts after we had the baby, the baby shower gifts and the cards are strictly on my wife. Right? I didn't. It wasn't my shower, I guess. Well, now I sound like a jerk. I didn't spend much time at the shower. I showed up at the end. And not only that, we had. Okay, I'm unpacking all this in my mind because I didn't like how I sounded there. We didn't take gifts, as in regular gifts. All we asked for gifts at my wife's baby shower were children's books with a note in it. So we have an entire basically children's book library up in the baby's room. Now, do I write a note back for a book with a note in it? I feel like that's note on note crime. I don't need to hit him with a note. They just wrote me a note and gave me a gift. I do think, though, my wife would have made us write thank you cards had we accepted gifts from folks. Like big gifts. Like a blender. Do you get a blender for somebody for a baby? If we would have, we would have sent you a thank you card. While not always necessary, in modern times, it is considered polite to acknowledge gifts from baby showers or directly by friends, family to show gratitude and confirm receipt.
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Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
Hmm.
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Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
It says preferably within two to three weeks of the shower or two months after the birth. For later gifts, that's on me because I have had zero organization when it comes to whose goddess gifts. I've texted people back. I know that doesn't count as a thank you card. Man, that kind of sucks on me, huh?
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Lisa (Pregnant Partner of Dylan)
Well, you want to know what we did for who? Just whenever we had a baby.
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Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
For us.
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Lisa (Pregnant Partner of Dylan)
For when we had our baby and we got gifts.
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Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
Oh, I thought you said what you did for me. I was about to put on the spot. Oh, I'm so sorry.
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Lisa (Pregnant Partner of Dylan)
Just take a picture of your daughter wearing the onesie and send it to Tim. Say thank you so much for this. That's like a good in between way, huh?
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Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
Yeah, I think I'm gonna pass on that. But thank you to everybody who got us. This is universal. If you're watching this and you got me a baby gift, thank you. And I'll move my mouth and if you want to edit your name into this, you can. Here we go. Hey, it's Bobby here. Thank you chat for sending that gift, man. You guys are great. That's good. All right, so we didn't send any thank you cards back. My wife's might. I don't Know I haven't. And I feel like a jerk. We had a little minor incident. This is my. One of my last notes here. Again, I'm taking no money from big baby organizations, but I'm going to shout out another company. The name of that company is Attila. No, this is how you know. I don't. What's the name of it? It's the name of a company that. It's like a camera that looks into the crib. But she also wears this thing on her ankle that monitors her vitals when she sleeps. The owlet Owlet.
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Lisa (Pregnant Partner of Dylan)
It's the greatest thing.
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Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
That's it. You guys know the outlet? Okay, now we're talking big shout out to the outlet company because you make good stuff. We have this monitor that's a big monitor. We also have little monitors, like the app on our phone. We have like a big monitor that sits there so when the baby's asleep in her room, we can watch and see if she's awake. It has like the. That's not infrared, but the night vision, so you can tell if the baby's asleep or not. On the top of it, it tells you the temperature in the room. It also puts a little note up there, like, baby cried six minutes ago. Baby. Like if I check on it and I'm just like looking at like I pulled it up now, it would say something like, mom was with baby 15 minutes ago. It's crazy. AI is watching everything that we do. That's the bad part. The good part is I can tell what's been happening with my baby for the last two hours or so. There's this ankle thing. I think that's alot too. And so we charge it and then we put it on her at night. And basically, if any of her vitals go crazy, it makes a big alarm sound. We've never had the alarm sound happen until a couple of nights ago. And it goes rah, rah, rah. My wife jumped out of bed like somebody's breaking in the house. Turns out I think the battery was just going dead or it had come off her ankle to where it wasn't getting close enough to the ankle to be able to read whatever the vitals are. And it was fine like five minutes later. We were up for like the next three hours though, because again, it felt like somebody was breaking into our house. We've had our alarm go off in the middle of the night and it wasn't someone breaking in the house. But we thought about it. That's kind of what it felt like. It was almost impossible to get back to sleep after that. But big shout out to the Owlette, wait to Owlet, because they make a pretty good product, too. Now, I've not tried multiple products. I've only tried one baby camera and one owlet, but I feel pretty good about that. So that's where we are today. We got a pretty good swing that the baby likes. Now, I wish I knew the name of moves like a Chuck E. Cheese character, though. Like, I don't think this is an expensive one because it kind of goes like, nothing about it looks like it would be comfortable to be in, but we kind of got it going. We're tired. My wife is way more tired than me. I do live baseline kind of tired, and I would say more tired, sleepy, because I don't get good sleep. But we're at that point now where my wife is just exhausted. And I think if I come home from work and I'm like, hey, I got the baby for a couple hours. All good. She would love the idea of taking a nap. But I still don't think that her nervous system has allowed her to take a daytime nap since the baby was born, which is pretty wild because it's like, hey, you're sleepy. Get a little sleep, and I'll take the baby. And she'll lay down and close her eyes and can't do it yet. So I'm really rooting for her. It's been really great to see how much that she loves it and the joy that she has with it. And so that's it. That's the last couple of weeks for me, man. The Nick Cannon stuff is crazy to me. Like, how do you even spend enough time with the baby? They even know it's your dad. Like, for me, our baby's just now two months old. I don't. I think I'm just like a taller figure with glasses because she spends all the time with her mom, and obviously they're doing feeding and all hours of the day. I think I'm just like a dude that shows up. And so at some point, I think they'll start to be that recognition of, oh, yeah, this dude owns me, that I can't wait for. That's going to be cool. I was talking to my therapist about that. I was like, I'm not putting any sort of expectations on a biological connection with me and the baby, because I understand that with dads, it's a bit different. You can love it, even though there's not, like, this deep connection with the baby yet with the mom with Kaylin and the baby. If Kaylin walks in the room, that baby's like, where is she? With me? I think it's like, here's the guy that does farty noises. Try to make me smile. Although she does smile now, socially, I think that's what you'd say. Like, it's not just little muscles that make her smile. I can make specific sounds. And I know usually if she feels pretty good, she's gonna smile or laugh, which is pretty cool. That part's pretty cool. I've really been doing a lot of woo pig suey to her, just trying to make that normal. Also, the other thing is that, like, if something is uncomfortable, if, like, there's, like, a diaper change or anything that she's not going to like, I call that a mommy. Anything she does like, I call a daddy. I'm like, oh, this is a daddy. And if there's something that's not so comfortable, like if we go to the pediatrician, oh, we gotta go do a mommy. I'm just trying to make sure she associates daddy with the positive. Maybe I shouldn't sacrifice mommy for that. But I've really felt like we're dialing in on that. So that's what's up. That's it. We got Dylan, who's about to have a baby coming up too. Not super soon, but close enough. Any questions? I'm a veteran now, Dylan.
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Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
So one thing I have been curious about.
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Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
No, I got all the answers, dude.
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Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
All right.
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Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
Sweet.
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Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
Sweet.
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Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
Been doing this for two months.
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Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
This is, like, in person.
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Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
I know it all. Yeah, this is great. I'll invoice you after this. Go ahead.
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Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
So people are always saying their baby sleeps good or sleeps great at this stage within first two months or first few months. Realistically, what does that look like? Realistically, how many hours a night is the baby asleep?
- [30:17]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
I'm glad you asked because, again, I'm an expert in this because I've only ever had one baby, ever, and I only know my story, so that makes me an expert in everybody. So I'm glad you asked. We've been very fortunate. Our baby sleeps, like, eight hours.
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Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
Oh, geez.
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Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
Oh, dude, it's awesome.
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Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
Full night.
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Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
Full night. I've talked to a lot of friends who have two babies, and mostly what they've said to me for the most part is if you get one that sleeps real well early, usually that second one kind of sucks. Or the opposite, you get one that's difficult. Yeah.
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Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
Yeah.
- [30:45]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
So kind of a law of averages thing. We've just been fortunate that she started to knock out three and a half, four hours or so. And the pediatrician was like, hey, at one point she was like, if she's not waking up, let her sleep. We had to get to that point. But it's like, if she's. No. And then she just sleeps. It's wild. Right now we're very fortunate, but we drug her. Yeah. No standard with milk. No, that's what the outlets for. Are you excited or is it. Is it even in your mind yet?
- [31:17]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
Oh, I'm super pumped.
- [31:18]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
You are?
- [31:19]
Lisa (Pregnant Partner of Dylan)
Yeah.
- [31:19]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
I didn't really start getting pumped till third trimester because that's when it felt the real realist.
- [31:24]
Lisa (Pregnant Partner of Dylan)
Yep.
- [31:24]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
You're already excited, like, in a positive way?
- [31:26]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
Yeah, absolutely. I kind of. I think I need to, like, slow it down for myself a little bit.
- [31:30]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
I don't know.
- [31:31]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
I'm all. I'm like, looking like you rushing her into labor four months ahead.
- [31:34]
Lisa (Pregnant Partner of Dylan)
Yeah.
- [31:35]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
You're driving her in just in case. Let's see if you're dilated.
- [31:38]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
Oh, I think maybe we can swing it like, three weeks early. Starting boost you about three weeks early.
- [31:43]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
Oh, that's cool that you're excited. She excited?
- [31:44]
Lisa (Pregnant Partner of Dylan)
Yo.
- [31:45]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
Yeah, she's super pumped.
- [31:46]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
Has she been sick?
- [31:47]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
Not once. Not even nauseous.
- [31:50]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
Wow.
- [31:50]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
Yeah. Yeah, it's been great. She, you know, she's, like, comfortable. Hasn't been sick, so.
- [31:56]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
Yeah, she's been lucky that last few weeks. And I say this from my wife. I say this from a couple friends that just had baby or pregnant right now. That last few weeks is hell.
- [32:07]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
Yeah. But that's. Yeah. And the thing that is probably gonna make it worse for us, that's like, we have a lot of stuff personally going on then, like, that we have to be at and do.
- [32:17]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
Like, what does she need to be at when she's nine plus months pregnant?
- [32:22]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
Well, we're probably gonna be moving.
- [32:25]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
Oh, my God. Oh, no.
- [32:28]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
It's gonna be a handful. You know, we got a few things we have to.
- [32:31]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
You don't want to do any of that. Whatever. Can you not move them?
- [32:36]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
I don't know.
- [32:36]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
I mean, there's nothing. She's got.
- [32:37]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
Lisa's up. We're due early October. Lisa's up. End of October. But we want to be in a place in September.
- [32:44]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
So if you can do it seven and a half, eight months. Good. You're gonna do it nine.
- [32:47]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
That's what we're gonna try to do.
- [32:49]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
She's not even gonna enjoy watching television at night. I mean, there's not even the comfortable things that people like. You don't even enjoy doing that. Yeah. Good luck, dude.
- [32:57]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
Brutal.
- [32:57]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
That's super exciting.
- [32:58]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
Yep.
- [33:00]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
Brandon, any advice for Dylan, Man, Just hang on.
- [33:04]
Lisa (Pregnant Partner of Dylan)
I don't know. I think. I think everybody's different, and I think you should take everybody's advice with a grain of salt because it could be very, very different for you.
- [33:13]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
Do you plan on watching at all?
- [33:15]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
What do you mean?
- [33:16]
Lisa (Pregnant Partner of Dylan)
I'm not gonna watch.
- [33:17]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
Oh, watching. Watching it?
- [33:18]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
Yeah.
- [33:19]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
Like watching the baby?
- [33:21]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
Yeah. No, no, like watching the miracle of birthday.
- [33:26]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
I'll be shoulders up.
- [33:27]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
Yeah, I was shoulders up. Yeah. Don't feel shame in that. You might change your mind while you're there.
- [33:32]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
I doubt it.
- [33:33]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
And if you do, awesome. If you don't, awesome too.
- [33:35]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
Yeah.
- [33:36]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
For me, I felt like I didn't want to do it, and my wife wasn't telling me that I should do it. And one thing is, I don't really let society pressure me into much, so I said, I'm going to stay up here. Yeah. And I compared it to the dads of the 50s and 60s who were in. In the freaking lobby. They weren't even where I was outside smoking cigarette. Yeah. Heck, I was in there. They had this massive mirror in the delivery room, and they told my wife, let me roll it over so you can see. And she's like, no, I'm good. We were all good. None of us. We were good. I don't think the nurses wanted to look. Nobody wanted to look. We all turned the lights off and just felt around. Don't feel bad.
- [34:13]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
Oh, I'm not. And I think my wife is on the same page. We're very much like, we don't. We don't need to do all that. Like, I was like. I told her. I was like. I saw it once in health class. Like, I'm good.
- [34:22]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
I was talking to a guy. We went to Austin for I Heart country, and I was talking to a guy in a, like, meet and greet sales meeting with a bunch of clients. And he said, hey, I heard you had a baby. I said, yeah. He said, I delivered my own baby. And I said, are you a doctor? No. Are you a nurse? No. Then I thought maybe he was just under there and, like, he caught it. Yeah. And I said, oh. I said, yeah. I didn't do that, but that's really cool. Like, that's. That's. I admire you. If you feel like you can go and be a part of your child coming into the world. Said, so how did that work? Did they just Tell you it was coming, you catch it. He goes, no, I went in. They let me go in. I said, they let you? He said, yeah, I went in. And he, like, pointed that spot between your wrist and maybe like a. Not all the way halfway to the elbow, but like a bit down. Said, I went all the way in and took the sh. They said, hey, okay, Turn the shoulders. And I turned the shoulders so the baby could come out. No.
- [35:15]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
Yeah. No, that's just a hard. No.
- [35:17]
Lisa (Pregnant Partner of Dylan)
No way.
- [35:18]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
Well, I thought, too, like, how safe is that? Is a doctor watching a game?
- [35:23]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
Yeah, right.
- [35:24]
Lisa (Pregnant Partner of Dylan)
Yeah, yeah.
- [35:25]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
Just.
- [35:26]
Lisa (Pregnant Partner of Dylan)
Yeah, get in there, man.
- [35:28]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
Also, it could be a female doctor. We had a female doctor, but that joke only works with the game, so. Okay. Is she watching a game? There you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [35:36]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
Softball game.
- [35:36]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
Yeah. Well, no, see, that's also sexist. What you just did. See what I did was sexist. And then I said, okay, I'm gonna admit it. And then you flipped it back. Yeah, I'm gonna not. Did you watch Brandon?
- [35:47]
Lisa (Pregnant Partner of Dylan)
I wasn't even allowed in the room.
- [35:48]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
Covid.
- [35:49]
Lisa (Pregnant Partner of Dylan)
Yeah, Covid.
- [35:50]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
Oh, yeah.
- [35:51]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
That does suck.
- [35:52]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
Dang.
- [35:53]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
That really sucks.
- [35:54]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
That's crazy. It was great.
- [35:56]
Lisa (Pregnant Partner of Dylan)
Yeah.
- [35:57]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
So we got two here that didn't see it and one here that doesn't want to. I think most people do watch, though. Most of my friends do it for.
- [36:05]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
Just to diversify a little bit.
- [36:07]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
For content.
- [36:07]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
For content.
- [36:10]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
If she doesn't care. Because I think if my wife was like, I really want you to do it, I probably would have.
- [36:16]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
That's weird though, right? If somebody was like, I want you to watch this. Like, that feels a little. Like, a little strange.
- [36:23]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
I'm going to tell you, I would have thought that, too, until it was time to have the baby. And I think if my wife was like, I want you to see it, because I want you to see, like, the moment our baby comes in, you know, breathing into Earth, I. I would have got it. I would have thought it was weird. I thought she was kind of like on. On, like an organic, all natural. Yeah. Emotional. Let's join together with Earth for the delivery of our child type thing.
- [36:45]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
No shoes on while we're delivering.
- [36:46]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
Yeah.
- [36:47]
Dylan (Guest, Expecting Father)
Get grounded. Yeah. Let's ground.
- [36:50]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
But that's. Yeah, that's it. All right, well, that's my update. Nothing life changing, except all of it has been life changing. And we'll get a guest up here in the next one or two. Those seem to be a little fun. And I don't say oddly sexist stuff. Like, I bet the doctor he's watching a game. Don't like who I am. Didn't like who I was earlier. Talking about thank you cards.
- [37:12]
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- [39:57]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
We're going to do a father knows less sort of unboxing of a baby gift. So got this from a friend of mine. I've not looked in it at all. So let's see if we like this. We like it, though. It's very nice. So thank you for the baby gift. I'm not gonna say who it is. I. This is first. This is a. An Arkansas Razorback. What do you think this is? What sports he playing here? He's got two gloves on. Would you guys say that is soccer? Is that a goalie? Oh, that's interesting. Now he is wearing a foot. No, that might be soccer, huh? Yeah. Shorts, huh? So it's a Arkansas Razorback. For those who are just listening, it's like a little plush stuffed animal with two gloves on. It might. I'm thinking way too much about what sport it is when the whole point was he got the baby something that was Arkansas. Okay, so there's that. Next up, we got a. Looks like a little blanket. Oh, a nice little blanket here, kind of. I like the material. It's, like, kind of rubbery. Okay, let's see what else we got here. Okay, we got a little little onesie. Cute little onesie. The. My recommendation for getting anybody a onesie for their baby is buy it a little big and let them grow into it. Because we've had people that were so kind get us onesies for our baby. And I think because when you go in, at least when we do, they give us this baby book. And inside the book, they keep all the statistics of the baby. So day one, it was like, length of the baby, weight of the baby, the percentile, meaning if they're in the top 22%, top 90. So right now, our baby's tracking a little longer than most babies. And so we've had people give us probably appropriately timed onesies, but that are way too small because our baby's. Would a baby even be tall? She doesn't stand up. I guess you're long until you can stand up. Wouldn't you say that? I'd say long, yeah. You don't get tall until you can actually stand. So always go a little tall, little long on the onesies. Okay, we got a. Oh, nice. More Arkansas stuff. My wife drives are crazy, mostly because a lot of people know what I like. And so we have 97% Arkansas stuff and 3% Oklahoma stuff. And I'd like to encourage people to keep doing that. Oh, it's a red razorback onesie. We like that. And a black razorback onesie. We like that. Oh, we like the summer onesies, too. Where the legs can come out a. When you're outside. Okay. Nice little basket. We got two books here. We got I love you as big as Arkansas. I have never seen this book before. Very specific to me. We like that. I love you as big as Arkansas. You're my little natural state heart. Together here with you is always better than apart. Do you guys have, like, kindergarten? Whenever they'd read a book, they would do this and show the whole room. How about that? There's Razorback stadium on the front page. I'm sure my wife loves that. Next up, Twinkle Little Star six Bedtime rhymes. So this is this book, and it says, press and sing along.
- [43:34]
Reese Witherspoon (Voice in Ad)
Okay,
- [43:37]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
I'm pushing it. Does it need a battery? Oh, no. I get mad because the. The book is broken, so. Twinkle, twinkle little star. I know. I wonder if these are all public domain. Twinkle, twinkle little stars. Yeah. Okay, so that's number one. Twinkle twinkle little star. Let's see if we know all the songs. Number two, Hush little baby, Hush little baby don't say a word. Good one. Number three, Rock a bye baby. Rock a bye baby on the treetop. It says I can push this thing.
- [44:17]
Lisa (Pregnant Partner of Dylan)
Is there like an on button on the back or something?
- [44:21]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
Maybe there is an on button. That makes sense. Yeah. Dude, I would have thrown this away when I got home. I would have never looked for an on button. I would have just got home and been like, well, that was nice of them, but this book's broken. Huh? That's cool. All right, Rocket. My baby. Let's flip over here. Little boy Blue. Hey, I don't know how it goes. I just do the Andrew Dice Clay. Little boy Blue. Do you guys know that? No. Public domain. You think? Let's see. Little boy Blue. Little boy Blue. Come blow your horn. The sheep in the meadow. Cows in the corn. Not a hit. Yeah, it's from the 18th century.
- [45:14]
Lisa (Pregnant Partner of Dylan)
Wow.
- [45:15]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
Yeah. That's bside. I don't know that one. That's like any song other than Sex and Candy from Marcy Playground. That's what that song is. Okay, here's a song called Go to Sleep. Do we think we know this one? Go to sleep, Go to sleep. Is that Little darling I love Little
- [45:38]
Redfin Commercial Narrator
darling, I love you.
- [45:40]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
This is a pretty cool book. Now that you turn it on. That thing comes in at night and it'll freak you out. It does feel like what they play before you get murdered.
- [45:48]
Lisa (Pregnant Partner of Dylan)
That's like in a horror movie.
- [45:50]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
Okay, I think that's the last one. Okay, that's a good little book. How about that? You know, the bookstore that has this has to be pissed all the time because people are walking by just playing it. Maybe they can't figure it out too, and they can't turn it on. Of boxing. Of boxing. Of boxing. Of this is a baby gift. It was all from the same person, but that's the first time I've done that, so thank you. I'm gonna take my little sock and soccer player razorback and I'm going to put this near the baby's crib. All right, There we go. All right, that's it for this episode of Father Knows Less. We will see you guys next time. Bye, everybody.
- [46:31]
Podcast Announcer
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Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
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Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
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- [48:08]
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Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
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- [48:38]
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- [48:40]
Bobby (Host of Father Knows Less)
Guaranteed human.