Amy Finds Out About Bobby's Devious Tactic  (Weds Part 1)

Summary

The Bobby Bones Show
Episode: Amy Finds Out About Bobby's Devious Tactic (Weds Part 1)
Release Date: December 11, 2024
Host: Bobby Bones
Produced by: Premiere Networks

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Introduction and Christmas Movie Challenge ([03:21] - [07:11])

In this festive Wednesday edition of The Bobby Bones Show, host Bobby Bones kicks off the episode with a playful and engaging segment centered around beloved Christmas movies. Bobby invites listeners to participate in a game where clips from classic holiday films are played, and the audience must guess the movie title.

Notable Interaction:

• Bobby Bones [03:21]: "I'll play you a clip from a favorite Christmas movie. Just name the movie, write them down here."

Listeners enthusiastically respond, correctly identifying movies like Elf, A Christmas Story, and Home Alone, showcasing the show's communal holiday spirit.

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Tell Me Something Good: A Heartwarming Holiday Story ([07:11] - [15:20])

Transitioning from festive games, Bobby introduces the "Tell Me Something Good" segment, sharing an inspiring story that highlights love and resilience during challenging times.

Story Highlight:

• John's Mission: A Marine veteran named John shares his heartfelt mission to preserve memories for his wife, Joan, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's four years prior. Determined to keep the spirit of Christmas alive, John orchestrates elaborate holiday displays with the help of neighbors and community members.

Impact and Community Involvement:

• The neighborhood unites to support John's dedication, setting up a P.O. box for Christmas cards that John reads to Joan. This collective effort not only strengthens community bonds but also brings joy and continuity to Joan's life.

Notable Quote:

• John (as narrated by Bobby Bones [14:46]): "If it wasn't for my wife, I don't know if I would have done it. She wanted Christmas, so I'd give it to her. I'll do anything to make her happy."

This segment underscores the show's theme of love overcoming adversity, resonating deeply with listeners during the holiday season.

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Listener Mail: Navigating Unwanted Conversations ([19:17] - [22:28])

Bobby addresses a listener question regarding the challenge of disengaging from prolonged and unwanted conversations at work without appearing rude.

Listener's Dilemma:

• Voice Mail [19:17]: A concerned father seeks advice on how to courteously exit lengthy conversations with a coworker who dominates discussions.

Hosts' Advice:

• Bobby Bones [20:27]: Suggests setting clear boundaries by politely indicating limited time, such as saying, "I have something else to get to."
• Scuba Steve [20:49]: Recommends maintaining awareness of others' time and gently steering conversations towards closure.

Notable Exchange:

• Bobby Bones [20:49]: "You could be very easily. But my advice would be this... They've just set a boundary. And when you go, 'Oh, sorry, I gotta go,' their feelings won't be hurt."

This practical advice empowers listeners to manage workplace interactions respectfully and effectively.

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Listener Stories and Jokes ([36:06] - [41:37])

The show interweaves light-hearted humor with serious discussions, maintaining a balanced and relatable atmosphere.

Morning Corny Jokes:

• Bobby Bones [36:51]: Introduces Amy's lineup of Christmas-themed puns, adding a touch of humor to the episode.

Road Rage Incident:

• Scuba Steve [38:07]: Discusses a troubling news story about an 89-year-old woman being assaulted with pepper spray during a road rage incident.

Hosts' Reactions:

• Bobby Bones [39:31]: Expresses disbelief and concern over the incident, emphasizing the severity of violence against an elderly individual.
• Scuba Steve [40:39]: Shares a personal experience with pepper spray, recounting how it incapacitated him during a church event.

Notable Quotes:

• Bobby Bones [39:31]: "Imagine she's 89. You still pepper spray? No, that's what happened."
• Scuba Steve [40:39]: "It shuts you down for days... it was right then, Bones. I died right then."

These segments highlight the show's commitment to addressing both humorous and serious topics, reflecting the complexities of listeners' lives.

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Closing and Preview of Next Part ([41:37] - [42:07])

As the first part of the episode wraps up, Bobby thanks the audience for tuning in and previews the continuation of the show in the upcoming episode.

Bobby Bones [41:37]: "That is the end of the first half of the podcast. You can go to podcast two or you can wait till podcast two come out."

This seamless transition invites listeners to stay engaged and look forward to more entertaining and meaningful content in the next installment.

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Concluding Remarks

The Bobby Bones Show masterfully blends entertainment with heartfelt stories and practical advice, creating a dynamic and engaging experience for its audience. This episode, enriched with festive cheer, inspiring narratives, and relatable discussions, serves as a testament to the show's enduring appeal and its ability to connect deeply with listeners.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Bobby Bones [03:21]: "I'll play you a clip from a favorite Christmas movie. Just name the movie, write them down here."
• John (narrated by Bobby) [14:46]: "If it wasn't for my wife, I don't know if I would have done it. She wanted Christmas, so I'd give it to her. I'll do anything to make her happy."
• Bobby Bones [20:27]: "You could be very easily. But my advice would be this... They've just set a boundary. And when you go, 'Oh, sorry, I gotta go,' their feelings won't be hurt."
• Bobby Bones [39:31]: "Imagine she's 89. You still pepper spray? No, that's what happened."
• Scuba Steve [40:39]: "It shuts you down for days... it was right then, Bones. I died right then."

---

This comprehensive summary encapsulates the essence of the episode, ensuring that even those who haven't listened can grasp the key themes, discussions, and emotional beats that The Bobby Bones Show offers.

Transcript

[Bobby Bones]

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[Amy]

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[Eddie]

All right, we're all set for the party. I've trimmed the tree, hung the mistletoe, and pared all those weird shaped knives and forks with the appropriate cheeses. And I plugged in the Partisan Partisan. It's a home cocktail maker that makes over 6060 premium cocktails, plus a whole lot of seasonal favorites too. I just got it for 50 off, so how about a Cosmopolitan or a mistletoe margarita?

[Bobby Bones]

I'm thirsty.

[Eddie]

Watch. I just pop in a capsule, choose my strength and wow, it's beginning to.

[Bobby Bones]

Feel more seasonal in here already.

[Eddie]

If your holiday party doesn't have a bartender, then you become the bartender. Unless you've got a Bartesian, because Bartesian crafts every cocktail perfectly in as little as 30 seconds. And I just got it for $50 off.

[Bobby Bones]

Tis the season to be jollier.

[Amy]

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[Scuba Steve]

Today, a miraculous conception, a merciless king, a mother's courageous journey. This Christmas season, Netflix invites you and your family to watch Mary A journey back in time to experience the story of the nativity through the eyes of Mary of Nazareth, the mother of Jesus Christ. Starring newcomer Noah Cohen, Mary is an uplifting biblical epic that follows Mary, Joseph and their newborn son Jesus as they flee the relentless pursuit of King Herod, portrayed by two time academy award winner Anthony Hopkins. Watch Mary now playing only on Netflix.

[Bobby Bones]

Here we go. Come on, Bobby. Transmitting across America. Welcome to Wednesday's show morning Studio. Morning. I'll play you a clip from a favorite Christmas movie. Just name the movie, write them down here. We'll go, we'll go. Game to get started. This is an example, but still. Don't blurt out your answer, guys. All right, here we go. Oh, my God. I know him. I know him. So that's an example. Amy, what do you have?

[Scuba Steve]

Elf.

[Bobby Bones]

That's right. No point there.

[Mike D]

That's a good movie.

[Bobby Bones]

That's a good one. So you'll go until you miss. Name the Christmas movie by the clip. All right, go ahead. You'll shoot your eye out, kid.

[Amy]

Merry Christmas. Ho, ho, ho.

[Mike D]

I'm in.

[Raymundo]

In for the win.

[Bobby Bones]

Amy.

[Scuba Steve]

Christmas story.

[Bobby Bones]

Lunchbox.

[Raymundo]

A Christmas story.

[Bobby Bones]

Eddie.

[Mike D]

A Christmas story.

[Bobby Bones]

Boom. One, number two. Merry Christmas, you filthy animal.

[Scuba Steve]

And a happy New year.

[Bobby Bones]

Merry Christmas, you filthy animal.

[Scuba Steve]

And a happy New Year.

[Mike D]

I'm in.

[Raymundo]

I'm in for the win.

[Scuba Steve]

And lunchbox.

[Raymundo]

Home alone.

[Bobby Bones]

Amy.

[Scuba Steve]

Home alone.

[Bobby Bones]

Eddie.

[Mike D]

Home alone.

[Bobby Bones]

Good job. That's on the tv. That often confused you guys in years past cuz you tried to find the old movie. Good job. Good job. Next up, I never thought it was such a bad little tree. It's not bad at all, really. Maybe it just needs a little love.

[Mike D]

I'm in.

[Raymundo]

Good.

[Bobby Bones]

This would be one of the few I would know because I haven't seen a lot of Christmas movies, but this is for sure one I would know. But would you play one more time? I never thought it was such a bad little tree. It's not bad at all, really. Maybe it just needs a little love.

[Raymundo]

In for the win.

[Bobby Bones]

Amy looks defeated.

[Scuba Steve]

Well, I mean, it's just like one of three of the black and white that I know you're not gonna get it.

[Bobby Bones]

Then what do you have?

[Scuba Steve]

Miracle on 34th Street.

[Bobby Bones]

It's not black and white.

[Mike D]

It's not color.

[Raymundo]

It's actually a cartoon. A Charlie Brown Christmas, Eddie.

[Mike D]

Charlie Brown Christmas.

[Bobby Bones]

Correct.

[Scuba Steve]

Sounded like good job.

[Bobby Bones]

Next up, something else. Kiss Santa. You killed him.

[Raymundo]

Did not.

[Bobby Bones]

And he's not Santa. Well, he was.

[Scuba Steve]

I'm in.

[Bobby Bones]

Amy, you're out. You're not in. Oh, Amy. I saw her writing down and she goes, I'm in. You're out. No lunchbox. And Eddie, one more time, please. It is Santa. You killed him. Did not. And he's not Santa. Well, he was.

[Mike D]

I'm in.

[Raymundo]

I'm in for the win.

[Bobby Bones]

Lunchbox.

[Raymundo]

Santa Claus.

[Mike D]

Eddie the Santa Claus.

[Bobby Bones]

Great job. Next. 5:30, J. 6:30, dinner with me. I can't cancel that again. 7:00, wrestle with myself.

[Amy]

Loathing. I'm booked.

[Mike D]

I'm in.

[Bobby Bones]

What?

[Mike D]

For the win.

[Bobby Bones]

Let's give it one more run. 5:30, Jazzercise. 6:30, dinner with me. I can't cancel that again. 7:00, wrestle with my self loathing. I'm booked.

[Mike D]

He's stressing.

[Raymundo]

I have. I mean, I.

[Bobby Bones]

Five seconds. Timer. Timer. Lunchbox.

[Raymundo]

Bad Santa.

[Mike D]

Oof.

[Bobby Bones]

Eddie.

[Mike D]

How the Grinch stole Christmas.

[Bobby Bones]

Correct. Wow. Oh, that's correct. And you know what. To start the day.

[Mike D]

Come.

[Bobby Bones]

You win.

[Mike D]

Come on.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah. Send it into the mail bag. Hello, Bobby Bones. In the era of gender reveal parties, it seems my family and friends feel like they're entitled to more information than we are willing to give. My wife and I made the decision to not know the sex of our baby until he or she arrives in two months. Everyone else, however, is now acting all outraged about it and are feeling slighted because there's not a gender reveal party and they don't know what to get the baby for a present. The last one's easy. Uh, diapers. As far as the rest, short of saying mind your own freaking business, what's the best way to convince people that they need to let it go because it's not about them? Signed dad. To be. This is very easy. This is something you can do and even seem nice. It's not gonna rub people the wrong way. But yeah, first of all, they need to shut up. This has nothing to do with them.

[Scuba Steve]

It's weird.

[Bobby Bones]

They probably just want free cake or like an explosion or something. But don't everybody else. Don't use fire in gender reveal parties. No fire, no explosions. This is what you say, man, we really appreciate that, but we don't want to know. Like, we don't want to know if it's a boy Or a girl till it happens. So if we have a gender reveal party that's gonna run it for us. So totally understand. If we do it again, we'll probably do this. But because we're not wanting to know, we're just not gonna have it. And I think that is an extremely nice way that's not gonna be awkward. And you can even send it out in a mass text to all these loser family members who aren't losers because they're your family, but they're losers in this situation.

[Mike D]

Right.

[Bobby Bones]

And just go like, hey guys, you guys have been asking about agenda reveal. We thought about it, we thought it'd be fun, but we don't want to know yet. So we've decided not to do one. But we'll let you know if we do another one.

[Scuba Steve]

Yeah. And there are plenty of gifts that are pretty neutral or all babies need.

[Bobby Bones]

Or a gift card, a literal gift card for a baby.

[Mike D]

That'd be nice.

[Bobby Bones]

Like got Grace and dj, they just had a baby. It's my sister's sister and brother in law. We just got him a gift card at Macy's. Like literally. Because Macy's has everything. Cause you can get a store like that that has everything and bada boom, bada bing, you're done. As far as the gift thing goes, Perfect. Yeah. But you can actually not be awkward sometimes. These do call for awkward situation in conversations and just say, hey guys, we've been thinking about the gender reveal party. We thought it'd be super fun, but we've kind of decided we just want to not know until it's time. So please respect our decision and then block them all. Yeah.

[Mike D]

Family needs to chill, man.

[Bobby Bones]

Everybody needs to chill out. That's all. They see a very close family though. Right? And they feel so close that they can actually say stuff like that. And that's a positive. But yeah, sometimes you get a little too close. That's what's up. Thank you. Close it up. Here's Amy's pile of stories.

[Scuba Steve]

A study found that songs with over 120 beats per minute can lead to dangerous driving.

[Bobby Bones]

Oh yeah. Whenever I hear party rock, party rock anthem, lmfl, I'm doing round Curves, right?

[Scuba Steve]

Well, it is Christmas time, so there's a lot of Christmas music being played. And what this means is Frosty the Snowman is the most dangerous Christmas song to drive to. It has 172 beats per minute.

[Bobby Bones]

How is it? The Frosty Diplo mix. Yeah, it's a frost.

[Scuba Steve]

And then in at number two is one of Our favorites, Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas with you.

[Bobby Bones]

So all you're doing is Christmas one?

[Scuba Steve]

Yeah, because it's Christmas time.

[Bobby Bones]

No, but What. What's the BPM again?

[Scuba Steve]

Anything over 120BPM?

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah.

[Mike D]

Is that fast?

[Bobby Bones]

I don't know. I can play it for you. Okay, like to hear 120bpm. Amy, go ahead with your story.

[Scuba Steve]

Eddie, I hate to break this to you, but in at number three is Felice Navidad.

[Bobby Bones]

Oh, no, I get that though. That goes good and that's racist.

[Mike D]

I think it goes racism. I think it goes fast. When he goes, I want to wish you a man.

[Bobby Bones]

She didn't say that to me.

[Scuba Steve]

I said bad because he loves that song.

[Bobby Bones]

If she just said like, hey, Bobby, bad news, crackers are, you know, real fast. I be like, that's racist. Anyway, go ahead.

[Scuba Steve]

Okay, well, those are the top three songs. So just be careful if those come on the radio when you are driving.

[Bobby Bones]

Here you go. Here you go. Here you go. Metronome120. Frosty the Snowman was a very happy snow. He had some snow in his mouth and some snow in his nose and there's some snow in his ear. There used to be a frosty man and then he melted away and everybody cheered. Oh, no, no. But that's not a cheer. They say frost. That's what it is.

[Mike D]

Sounds like a sailor's version of Frost.

[Bobby Bones]

That's okay. Two things. One, that's funny. Two, that's hurtful. Okay, all right, what else?

[Scuba Steve]

Anybody? A self gifter in here for Christmas every day.

[Bobby Bones]

And it makes my wife's life miserable when it comes to Christmas time because she's like, anything you want, you get. And I'm like, that's true. But you know what I told her before you elaborate on the story, I said, she give me a list of things you would like. And I said, why? If there was a list of things I like, I bought them. We don't have kids. I got a good job. Let's rock is what I say every day when I get online. Let's rock. When I buy stuff, I'm like, all right, let's rock.

[Scuba Steve]

I know, but maybe in the month of December, I refuse to stop buying me stuff.

[Bobby Bones]

So I said to her, and I meant this as a compliment, the stuff that she gets me without me telling her is way better than the stuff I would get myself when it comes to clothing or cool things. If I just say, here's what I want based on what I want, it's Gonna have a razorback on it and so cut off sleeves. Yes, it'll be a cutoff or have a razorback on it. So, yes, I'm a self gifter and that's tough to buy me anything.

[Scuba Steve]

Okay, well, you're a self gifter, I guess, year round. But when it comes to Christmas time, only about half of us are self gifters. But maybe pause. So that way the loved ones in your life can actually get you what you want and you're not just buying it for yourself. And then also when it comes to presents, I saw that parents are spending on average $173 per kid. And I think Eddie's groaning over there because he's got four of them.

[Mike D]

I didn't want to hear that number.

[Bobby Bones]

I don't know. It's not the law, Eddie. She didn't just say the law. That's not in the constitution where you have to do that.

[Scuba Steve]

It's just on average.

[Mike D]

Yeah, I'm sure we're around that number.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, yeah. I'm just saying you don't have to be.

[Mike D]

Yeah, I know.

[Bobby Bones]

Okay. Amy.

[Scuba Steve]

Yeah. And then if you are planning to see relatives over the holidays and you're like, oh, I can't wait for Christmas vacation. Well, survey says people do not see that as vacation. It is not relaxing. It ends up more stressful. So make sure you do take some time for yourself.

[Bobby Bones]

I'm lucky that I love my in laws. However, what I don't like is all day is I just sit. Families apparently just hang out and do nothing. I had no idea.

[Scuba Steve]

It's kind of cool to just chill.

[Bobby Bones]

No, I didn't really grow up in an environment. We just sit around. I didn't grow up with like a family dynamic ever. And so like Christmas and Christmas Eve and like the day after, like, you just sit around and like hang. And it's like, what we all know, everybody understands this kind of boring. And then I get on my phone and then I was like, hey, don't be on your phone the whole time. Like, just be like, engage. And I'm like, I'm as good as I possibly can be. I'm like, so, yeah, yeah, it's not vacation. But I don't even like vacation, so.

[Scuba Steve]

Well, just make sure again you take some time for yourself. I'm Amy. That's my pile.

[Bobby Bones]

That was Amy's pile of stories. It's time for the good news. Got a guy named John. He loves Christmas, but he loves his wife more. Joan. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's four years ago. And since then, he, the Marine veteran, has made it his mission to keep making her memories. Now there are a lot of hands on the project, people that have jumped in, helping set up lights and decorations. A steady stream of admirers also coming to check out the holiday cheer because they've done such a good job. And John says he can't see himself stopping the tradition. Now here he is talking about why he does it and his wife's reaction to it.

[Mike D]

If it wasn't for my wife, I.

[Bobby Bones]

Don'T know if I would have done it. But she wanted Christmas, so I'd give it to her. I'll do anything to make her happy.

[Scuba Steve]

I don't know what to think, but I'm glad he did it.

[Bobby Bones]

I love him. She has Alzheimer's again. She's a 53.

[Scuba Steve]

Wow, that's young.

[Bobby Bones]

That is young. To thank John and celebrate Joan, the neighbors have set up a P.O. box to receive Christmas cards. And they'll give John the cards to read them to his wife. So the whole neighborhood jumping in. Thought that was pretty amazing. That is from CBS News. That is what it's all about. That was. Tell me something good.

[Eddie]

All right, we're all set for the party. I've trimmed the tree, hung the mistletoe, and paired all those weird shaped knives and forks with the appropriate cheeses. And I plugged in the Partisan.

[Bobby Bones]

Partisan.

[Eddie]

It's a home cocktail maker that makes over 60 premium cocktails, plus a whole lot of seasonal favorites too. I just got it for 50 off, so how about a Cosmopolitan or a mistletoe margarita?

[Bobby Bones]

I'm thirsty.

[Eddie]

Watch. I just pop in a capsule, choose my strength and wow, it's beginning to.

[Bobby Bones]

Feel more seasonal in here already.

[Eddie]

If your holiday party doesn't have a bartender, then you become the bartender. Unless you've got a Bartesian. Because Bartesian crafts every cocktail perfectly in as little as 30 seconds. And I just got it for $50 off.

[Bobby Bones]

Tis the season to be jollier.

[Amy]

Add some holiday flavor to every celebration with the sleek, sophisticated home cocktail maker Bartesian. Get $50 off any cocktail maker at bartesian.com cocktail. That's B A R T E S I A N dot com cocktail.

[Lunchbox]

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[Bobby Bones]

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[Bobby Bones]

All right, voicemail. Hit it. So I got caught in a conversation. I could not figure out how to end it. I find myself running into this issue quite a bit. So I was wondering, how would you guys recommend I stop being engaged in a conversation with somebody at work? Stop being super rude about it. Of course, sometimes It'll be like 30, 45 minutes before the person stops talking. So I was wondering if you guys have any input or any suggestions of how I can, like, find a way to escape or just step away without being rude. So wanted to get your input. Let me know. It's a tough one. And it sounds like he doesn't like the person. I like Amy, so it's easier.

[Scuba Steve]

There's no way I talk for 30 or 40.

[Bobby Bones]

Oh, no. On the phone. You definitely. You definitely can. You definitely can on the phone, regardless. But I like Amy. It sounds like he doesn't like this person very much. It's difficult. Amy, as someone, what are the best techniques people have used with you?

[Scuba Steve]

I don't know that they're using.

[Bobby Bones]

You don't know anything. I'm. I'm asking genuinely, because you do like to talk, and sometimes you will just.

[Scuba Steve]

Like, if there are techniques I have not caught on.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah. Okay, fair enough. So this is what I would say to do. Let's say. And I'll say that it's not the same situation with Amy and I. And I see, I'm like, oh, Amy always wants to talk forever. If. So if she comes up and she's like, hey, what's up? And I'll be like, oh, good to see you. I have, like, 18 minutes till I'm eating. What's. What's going on? Oh, yeah.

[Scuba Steve]

He always gives me.

[Bobby Bones]

You. That's good.

[Scuba Steve]

You give me a. I'll do that with you too. You do, now that I think about it.

[Bobby Bones]

Because it's not rude.

[Scuba Steve]

Like, hey, I've got five minutes. Like, what's up?

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, it's like, until I have something else to do because it doesn't feel rude. Because that's not like I only want to talk to you for five minutes. It is. Hey, I have something else that I got to get to, but I'd love to spend a few minutes with you. What's going on? And they have to get to their point quicker.

[Scuba Steve]

I get that I may not get to the point as quickly. Someone might want to. But no, I know it's not about me because I'm definitely not a 30 minute, 45 minute, or I'm just not.

[Bobby Bones]

You could be very easily. But my advice would be this. If you see them walking up, you're like, oh, God, here we go. And you can't be rude. You don't want to be rude at the office because I don't make. It's like, hey, Charles, how's it going? Like, oh, good to see you. Hey, I have this meeting I get to in 12 minutes, but, yeah, what's going on? They will feel not hurt at all by that. And you've just set a boundary. And then when you go, oh, sorry, I gotta go to this thing I was telling you about. They won't. Their feelings won't be hurt. That's the easiest way to do it. Two is just run anytime you see him coming. Get out of Dodge. But you can't always do that. Anything you'd like to lend? No, I just mean in general. I care about what you think.

[Mike D]

Anything, Amy.

[Scuba Steve]

Well, I mean, in general. I guess it's good for those of us that do like to talk that maybe we practice awareness.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, but this is not about that. I'm just asking.

[Scuba Steve]

I know, but I'm gonna. I can't. I can't relate to him. So I'm gonna relate to the people that might talk, thinking that, you know, oh, time flies, you know, when you're having a conversation, you don't realize it's been as long as it has. So just be aware of other people's time. I'll speak to that audience.

[Mike D]

You know, Scuba and I have a deal.

[Bobby Bones]

He texts me, but I don't think em here. My point. And I don't think they know. I don't think people know when they're that. That person.

[Scuba Steve]

Okay, well, this is your moment.

[Bobby Bones]

Okay?

[Scuba Steve]

Be aware. Start paying attention. If people start to say, hey, I got 12 minutes. What's up?

[Bobby Bones]

That's true.

[Scuba Steve]

Now they know.

[Bobby Bones]

And, Eddie, what is your thing?

[Mike D]

Yeah, Scuba and I have a deal. We just text each other if they look like they're stuck in a conversation.

[Bobby Bones]

Oh, you guys. It's like a girl in the club. What needs Help. You guys will do that. Here, say toward you, Amy. That's all. That's all. All right, let's. Let's do this. This is a ridiculous job. Although for what it pays, not so bad. The Wall Street Journal says that there's a new professional back scratcher that makes 100 bucks an hour. You want to do that job, you go scratch a bag. 100 bucks an hour. Two things are here. One, that's a lot of money. 100 bucks an hour is a lot of money. Number two, this is random people's back. And scratching, that's kind of gross.

[Mike D]

That's gross.

[Bobby Bones]

But is it worth 100 bucks an hour?

[Scuba Steve]

Okay, well, now I'm thinking, do I have to use my fingernails, or can I use one of those little rake thingies?

[Bobby Bones]

If I'm hiring you, you're fingernailing, baby. I want the intimate touch. Okay, so this guy named. And maybe it's a girl. Her name's Tony, but I can't imagine a Tony. Dude, Tony sounds like an Italian guy. Yeah, Tony, I'll scratch your back. Hey, maybe it's a girl. She says when they need relief, they visit the spa. They plunk down, and they land the table. And for over a hundred bucks, over an hour, she scratches their back.

[Scuba Steve]

Wow.

[Bobby Bones]

She is a former hair stylist. She has three inch nails, which I think would be a thing. The longer the nails.

[Scuba Steve]

That's long.

[Bobby Bones]

And then she scratches for an hour. 100 bucks. Yeah, you gotta have those fingernails, but I guess you also have those things you could slide on. They're like, fake. Oh, yeah. I don't think I'd like to get my bag scratched. I'm gonna tell you my dream scenario. Amy, can you indulge me for a second?

[Scuba Steve]

Sure.

[Bobby Bones]

Dream scenario. I sit down in a chair, and you know how when you go, like the obgyn, you put your leg in stirrups?

[Scuba Steve]

Yes, I do.

[Bobby Bones]

So. So not full stirrupy, but mid stirrupy. Like, my feet are up in a thing, but my feet are hanging out. Over. I got one person rubbing one foot. I got another person rubbing another foot. Now I also have hand stirrups. You know when you go to obgyn, you do the stirrups?

[Scuba Steve]

Yes.

[Bobby Bones]

Okay, cool. So I have them for my hands to put my wrists in them, but they're like wrist stirrups. I have one person rubbing one hand. I have another person rubbing another hand. So I love my feet. I love foot massages. I love hand massages. Next up. You ever go to the mall and See that person with that thing, that claw thing that goes up and down your head that makes you tickle a little bit? I only like that for a second. But then I want a scalp massage. I have a fifth person that's doing the scouting, so I got one on my foot. One on my foot, one of my hand, one of my hand, and one on my scalp. But the one in the scalp standing on, like a. Like something from high, so they can just go straight down. And then I got someone rubbing my shoulders at the same time.

[Scuba Steve]

Oh, wow. So there's a platform.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, it has to, because you can't stand two people.

[Raymundo]

What?

[Bobby Bones]

Hip, scalp, and shoulders. So if I go two, four, I got six people at once.

[Mike D]

You're like a Roman emperor.

[Bobby Bones]

Wow. Sorry.

[Scuba Steve]

What is this again? This is your.

[Bobby Bones]

It's my dream. It's my dream massage scenario.

[Mike D]

Interesting.

[Bobby Bones]

Can you.

[Scuba Steve]

I mean, I'm sure you could make that happen.

[Mike D]

Yeah, probably. It'll cost you, but yeah.

[Raymundo]

Yeah, they're out there.

[Bobby Bones]

I feel like if I asked for all that, they'd think there was more to it. For sure. Yeah.

[Scuba Steve]

I mean, I would just lose the stirrups as part of the description, but.

[Bobby Bones]

I needed to be descriptive toward you so you knew what I was talking about.

[Scuba Steve]

No, I understand, but, like, you could just, like, spread out like a snow angel.

[Bobby Bones]

I don't know. That sounds like a little. That sounds like a. Wait, does not. When I mention it like that. Does that sound good to you or just fine.

[Scuba Steve]

Yeah, I don't need that. I don't need that many things.

[Bobby Bones]

Oh, I love a foot rub. I love a hand rub.

[Scuba Steve]

I feel like. Where does your attention go to?

[Bobby Bones]

Who knows? Space. This may be exactly what we need in order to, like, go into a new dimension. I've never had that, but if I could get six people up here.

[Scuba Steve]

Okay, we got how many in the room? One.

[Bobby Bones]

No, I don't want you guys. That's weird as crap.

[Raymundo]

I'm out.

[Bobby Bones]

You guys. Don't touch me. No, no, no. California Town is having people that are acting like gardeners in neighborhoods. And what they're doing is they're watching other houses. And when people leave the houses, they break into them, but they're posing as gardeners.

[Scuba Steve]

That's terrible.

[Bobby Bones]

That's a crazy one. That's. I mean, look. Yeah, it sucks. Terrible. That's pretty decent idea. Like, if you're, like, criminal. That's a new way I haven't heard of yet. Although you got to make sure the person tells you gardening knows that you're Gardening. Gardening. Or you have to, like, be a real gardener. It's like CIA people, when they go around the world, they have to have other jobs in order to be CIA.

[Mike D]

You can't just be raking the. The same spot.

[Bobby Bones]

And you got to be a real gardener. Hired by the person. Yes, but the suspects, and they have the people that so far they've captured. They were captured breaking into a home. The neighbor said that two masked men dressed that were gardeners attempted to gain unsuspecting access to a home. That's a. I don't, like, say clever. I feel like Amazon. It's, like, dressed like the Amazon guy and driving up in a white van. But now Amazon's weird because these people in regular cars show up my house.

[Scuba Steve]

How do you know it's the final person that left? Like, because. So, okay, you see someone leave, but what if someone else is still in the house?

[Mike D]

Right.

[Bobby Bones]

I don't understand what you're asking.

[Mike D]

Like, maybe you're a kid in there.

[Scuba Steve]

Yeah. Like, you see, like, I'll leave my house, but there's still people in there, so they may see me leave. And then what? They think, okay, it's time to go break in.

[Bobby Bones]

I don't know their mindset, but I'm saying if they see the no cars in the driveway, they probably go give it a look. Oh, they're over there pulling turnets. But in reality, they're just scoping a house.

[Mike D]

I think it's better the way they did in Home Alone, where you just like a cop and says, like, hey, I'm a cop. Are you guys going out of town this week? Great. Okay, you all be careful. Where are you going?

[Bobby Bones]

Paris.

[Mike D]

Cool. And then they know they're gone.

[Raymundo]

I mean, that's pretty smart, dressing like a cop.

[Bobby Bones]

Like a crime. Crime. Oh, yeah. Dressing like a gardener, not a crime.

[Scuba Steve]

I would do. I would choose, like, a city employee that checks the meters. Because then you're allowed to walk in the backyard.

[Mike D]

Not going to. And, you know, like, no one's in there.

[Scuba Steve]

Yeah, but you have to.

[Bobby Bones]

But you have to know some stuff to do that.

[Scuba Steve]

But you just act like you lift up the thing.

[Bobby Bones]

No, but you have to, like, know some stuff in case someone. You gotta, like, know city stuff.

[Scuba Steve]

I would just say I'm reading meters.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah.

[Raymundo]

You never knock on the door. You just walk and go. Absolutely no one asks any questions.

[Bobby Bones]

What are you doing here, sir? Reading the meter.

[Raymundo]

Yep.

[Bobby Bones]

What. What numbers are you looking for?

[Scuba Steve]

All of them.

[Bobby Bones]

3. We do a segment called Scam Alert where we tell you about scam to watch out for. This isn't that. This is somebody on the show thinks that somebody's been scammed so many times they're now scamming us without even knowing it. This is like Inception. One of you guys are scamming us without even knowing it. You've been scammed so many times. We'll talk about that next, Bones all.

[Eddie]

Right, we're all set for the party. I've trimmed the tree, hung the mistletoe, and paired all those weird shaped knives and forks with the appropriate cheeses. And I plugged in the Partisan Partisan. It's a home cocktail maker that makes over 60 premium cocktails, plus a whole lot of seasonal favorites too. I just got it for 50 off, so how about a Cosmopolitan or a Mistletoe Margarita?

[Bobby Bones]

I'm thirsty.

[Eddie]

Watch. I just pop in a capsule, choose my strength and wow, it's beginning to.

[Bobby Bones]

Feel more seasonal in here already.

[Eddie]

If your holiday party doesn't have a bartender, then you become the bartender. Unless you've got a Bartesian, because Bartesian crafts every cocktail perfectly in as little as 30 seconds. And I just got it for $50 off.

[Bobby Bones]

Tis the season to be jollier.

[Amy]

Add some holiday flavor to every celebration with the sleek, sophisticated home cocktail maker Bartesian. Get $50 off any cocktail maker at bartesian.com cocktail that's B A R T E S I A N dot com.

[Lunchbox]

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[Bobby Bones]

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[Bobby Bones]

Hi everyone.

[Lunchbox]

It's Savannah Guthrie and Hoda Kotb from the Today Show. We love this time of year. There's so much to celebrate.

[Bobby Bones]

That's right.

[Lunchbox]

Nobody does the holidays quite like today all season long.

[Bobby Bones]

Join us for special performances with the.

[Lunchbox]

Brightest stars, plus festive recipes to whip up the perfect holiday feast and great deals on the hottest toys and gifts for everyone on your list.

[Bobby Bones]

So join us every morning on NBC.

[Lunchbox]

To make today your home for the holidays.

[Bobby Bones]

Eddie, what's up, guys?

[Mike D]

I think Amy has been scammed so much that she is now a scammer.

[Bobby Bones]

What happened?

[Mike D]

I got a text. Actually, we all got a text. The whole BBS group, which I think, I don't think you're in, but you're not in the text group. We all got a text from Amy and it was just written weird. Like, not how Amy talks, but she goes, hi, we have a listener that's trying to adopt from Haiti and there's an issue for about 50 families. So they created a petition and can you all just please take the time today to sign it real quick and help this family.

[Bobby Bones]

Is there a link? There's a link that's scambler how it's written. She's close to everybody here. There's no need to write it off. What?

[Scuba Steve]

No, I said, hey guys. Like, hey, the link is a. If you check the link, it's change.org the link says change.org and it is one of our listeners and they're trying to adopt from you.

[Bobby Bones]

But I think the best way to have done that would have been detective people individually be like, hey, yo, why text individually? When I was like, scam to the group.

[Raymundo]

Say something when we're in the room instead of waiting.

[Bobby Bones]

And that's true.

[Scuba Steve]

They had already left. And I just thought, like, oh, it would be cool if they signed this because it's a listener that. I mean, Haiti is in such crisis right now, and there's these children that are no one's families.

[Bobby Bones]

You can't guilt them that you're doing guilt to get out of it.

[Scuba Steve]

Well, I'm just saying the petition signing, it would help them.

[Bobby Bones]

I hear you, but that's not the point of this, because I agree with you. Everything. That's all terrible. But their point is, I thought how.

[Scuba Steve]

I sent it sounded very much like me and actually would help it not seem like a scammer. Because I'm like, hey, also, why would.

[Bobby Bones]

You not say something in the room?

[Scuba Steve]

Like, I'm gonna have to.

[Bobby Bones]

Okay, wait till tomorrow. It wasn't like you had 12 hours or there's no hurry.

[Raymundo]

Sign this. I was like, amy, you're so.

[Scuba Steve]

You mean. Can I resend it to y'all now that. Now that y'all know about it.

[Bobby Bones]

Yes, Bobby. I'll add so many scam alerts that I also would get.

[Scuba Steve]

Okay, I get it now. I do get how that.

[Bobby Bones]

Not minimizing. Minimizing any of the real life issue of it, but if that just comes from the person who gets scammed the most.

[Scuba Steve]

Right.

[Bobby Bones]

Yes. And it's written like that. Sent in a group text with a link there.

[Scuba Steve]

Looking back now, hearing it back.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah.

[Scuba Steve]

I can see now how y'all maybe thought it was a scam, but I am telling you now, it is not.

[Mike D]

She wrote hi with, like, five eyes.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah.

[Mike D]

No, she never does that.

[Scuba Steve]

I do that.

[Bobby Bones]

Listen, this is one Amy sent me. Hi. My cousin is the prince of Nigeria and needs a bank account.

[Raymundo]

Oh, man.

[Mike D]

Don't click it.

[Bobby Bones]

Don't. Oh, I thought it was. It's time for the good news with Lunchbox. Tell me something good.

[Raymundo]

It was like the scene out of a movie in Williamson County, Illinois. A pregnant woman out for a drive. When she calls 911, I can't get my car to stop. My car will not stop. And they're like, oh, we gotta do something. And so they catch up with her, and they see the brake lights are on, but the car is still going and it's headed right for a lake.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah.

[Raymundo]

At the end of the road is the lake. And they're like, we gotta do something. So they go up in front of her, and they slowly start decelerating until they get. And they bumper to bumper, and they slam on their brakes, and it forces the car behind her to stop. A quarter mile from, she went off the pier into the lake.

[Mike D]

That's pretty crazy.

[Bobby Bones]

Like, you gotta get right in front of it and start slowing and, you know, listen, they're saving the life. That's awesome. But, you know, that's got to be cool for that cop up front. Heck, yeah. To get in front and actually do that. You probably trained for that, but you never actually got to do it, like, let car hit car. Because mostly you don't want car hit to car because that costs money. That's taxpayer money. But when you're saving someone's life, hey, what's taxpayer money? That would be awesome.

[Scuba Steve]

Life is priceless.

[Bobby Bones]

Yes. Especially when you get to bump a car.

[Raymundo]

Especially two lives because she was pregnant.

[Mike D]

That's right. That's right.

[Bobby Bones]

That's a great story. That's what it's all about. That was. Tell me something good. There's Joy from North Carolina, Bobby Bones calling, asking for an update from Amy.

[Lunchbox]

I remember last year, you guys, she had a fish, and you guys have.

[Bobby Bones]

Best on how long the fish would make it.

[Lunchbox]

This year's fish. Did the fish make it throughout the rest of the year?

[Bobby Bones]

Is the fish dead?

[Lunchbox]

Did husband take the fish?

[Bobby Bones]

What happened to the fish? Want to know?

[Lunchbox]

I love the show.

[Bobby Bones]

Be a funny twist if Amy's ex husband took the fish in the divorce. But that's not what happened. They died, right?

[Scuba Steve]

No, the fish.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah. And I won the money.

[Scuba Steve]

Rest in peace.

[Mike D]

It didn't make the year. I don't remember.

[Scuba Steve]

Yeah. Honestly, I was like, we had a fish, but we did.

[Bobby Bones]

I'm like, wow.

[Scuba Steve]

And the fish definitely died. Poor little Beta.

[Bobby Bones]

Rip to the forgettable fish, apparently. Next up, let's go with number four, A. Good morning, studio. I have a morning corny for Amy. Why was E the only letter to get a gift from Santa? Because every other letter was not E. Ha. Happy holidays. Naughty, naughty. Yeah, if you saw it, you'd like that one.

[Mike D]

Got it.

[Bobby Bones]

That was good. Okay, let's do Amy's Corny the morning corny.

[Scuba Steve]

What does Santa do when his elves misbehave?

[Bobby Bones]

What's that?

[Scuba Steve]

He gives them the sack.

[Bobby Bones]

Huh?

[Raymundo]

Huh?

[Scuba Steve]

When you get sacked in Santa, they get sack. Santa has a sack.

[Mike D]

I pictured hidden, like, hit by the sack.

[Scuba Steve]

Oh, he gives him the sack.

[Bobby Bones]

Okay.

[Scuba Steve]

Thank you.

[Bobby Bones]

That Was the morning corny?

[Scuba Steve]

It's better if you see it written.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, of course. This woman was sprayed with pepper spray, right. During a road rage incident where they pulled over. Which by the way, I'm gonna try not to get into incident. Even if somebody cuts me off, I'm gonna realize, here's the thing about when someone cuts you off or does something stupid in traffic. And I've said this before, you've also been that person and maybe didn't even realize it sometimes because we've done things, maybe not even on the road in real life where we've hurt people and not known it because we didn't do it on purpose and we didn't know how to affect the people. I would say that same ideology that happens on the road, like people may cut you off and if they do happen to cut you off because they're jerks, let them be. So that's the first part. The second part is if somebody does cut me off and they're like middle finger and everything they did to me was just to irritate me, I'm still not going to. Because I don't know if they have a gun in their glove box. I don't know what's up. So I'm going to chill back because ain't no deal. Third of all, if I do decide not to chill back, I'm not pulling a parking lot. Like to end a road rage incident. Needs to stay on the road. Yeah. We do not need to turn that into a parking lot incident. Okay. Because then that's when the guns come out. They make them out while you're driving. That's when the guns come out. That's when the fighting starts. That's when this woman gets pepper sprayed. Oh, now it's just not about the pepper spray. Because imagine you're road raging, right? And all of a sudden you're like, we're pulling this over, we're going to town. This lady, your pet, road raging or she pulls over and you're like, I'm pepper spray the crap out of her. She gets out of the car, she's 89. You still pepper spray? No, that's what happened. She was 89 and they pepper sprayed her. An 89 year old driver was attacked with pepper spray during a road rage incident in Pennsylvania. The elderly woman was driving a Ford F150. Tried to pass another driver in a Subaru SUV. There was a confrontation. They pulled over in a parking lot. The Subaru driver sprayed the 89 year old with pepper spray and then Fled the scene.

[Scuba Steve]

I'm kind of surprised the Subaru driver had pepper spray.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah.

[Mike D]

And that the old lady was driving trucks.

[Raymundo]

Yeah, that's what I was shocked by that.

[Scuba Steve]

I feel like the Subaru would be like, oh, all good, peace, love.

[Raymundo]

And once you see she's 89, don't you think? Ah, she's just old.

[Bobby Bones]

And also, if you're gonna spray an 89 year old, wait around.

[Scuba Steve]

Maybe she's a young looking 89.

[Mike D]

Wait, wait, wait around for what?

[Bobby Bones]

It doesn't matter. Don't run. If you're gonna be so bold to spray an 89 year old pepper spray, you need to sit there for a minute and you just look at what you did. Even if you leave before the cops get there, you need to look at what you did. Because she's 89. You know, how long does it take her to bounce back from that crap? It's gonna take us four hours. Imagine her, she may never bounce back. She's 89. She probably got four hours to live. That sucks. And also she's 89. She probably wasn't road raging. She probably just was driving like 89 year old.

[Mike D]

But there was a confrontation. Like that's what's weird about it.

[Bobby Bones]

The person probably like, pull over. She's like, what? Pull over. I was like, okay, you want to help me carry my groceries in? And then you pepper spray the 89 because there's no chance they thought this one was 25 or 35 or 45. Like they went, hard to tell this 89 year old. Done. So whoever you are, because I imagine you listen to this show. We know who you are. We know. Don't be that person. Pennsylvania State Police are still looking for information on it. That's from abc27. Ever been pepper sprayed?

[Scuba Steve]

No, I've just only had it sprayed while I was at church.

[Bobby Bones]

Oh, people used to spray in school and it would knock out the whole room. It knock out the whole room?

[Scuba Steve]

Yeah. No, mine was. Unfortunately right before my sister and I were supposed to go on stage to sing.

[Bobby Bones]

That's why they did it.

[Raymundo]

They were like, they were trying to stop the performance.

[Bobby Bones]

Can't let Amy or sister get up there. They pulled the fire alarm. They pepper sprayed?

[Scuba Steve]

No, my mom had pepper spray on her keychain and my sister's boyfriend at the time accidentally had it go off. And then our moment to shine was like, everybody.

[Bobby Bones]

Mike D. Wanted to know what it felt like. He had this weird thing where he's like, why did you, like, why did you want to know what it felt like I saw people doing military training there to get sprayed and not react. I thought I could do it and not react to it. So we did it at the house and we recorded it and I sprayed him in the face with it. And he react. He reacted. Yeah, it shuts you down. I couldn't open my eyes for like 45 minutes. And then it stays with you like three or four hours. Like, I took a shower and it would, like, re apply itself and start burning again. Did you do milk and stuff in the eye? No, I didn't try milk. You put milk in, you drink milk. I don't know if you just put it in your eyes as well.

[Mike D]

That's a good thinking.

[Bobby Bones]

If you were 89, how do you think it would have worked out for you? Oh, it would shut you down for days. I died right then, Bones. And that is the end of the first half of the podcast. That is the end of the first half of the podcast. That is the end of the first half of the podcast. That is the end of the first half of the podcast. You can go to podcast two or you can wait till podcast to come out.

[Eddie]

All right, we're all set for the party. I've trimmed the tree, hung the mistletoe, and paired all those weird shaped knives and forks with the appropriate cheeses. And I plugged in the Bartesian Bartisian. It's a home cocktail maker that makes over 60 premium cocktails, plus a whole lot of seasonal favorites too. I just got it for 50 off, so how about a Cosmopolitan or a mistletoe margarita?

[Bobby Bones]

I'm thirsty.

[Eddie]

Watch. I just pop in a capsule, choose my strength and wow, it's beginning to.

[Bobby Bones]

Feel more seasonal in here already.

[Eddie]

If your holiday party doesn't have a bartender, then you become the bartender. Unless you've got a Bartesian, because Bartesian crafts every cocktail perfectly in as little as 30 seconds. And I just got it for $50 off.

[Bobby Bones]

Tis the season to be jollier.

[Amy]

Add some holiday flavor to every celebration with the sleek, sophisticated home cocktail maker Bartisian. Get $50 off any cocktail maker at bartisian.com cocktail that's B A R T E S I A N.com cocktail ready.

[Lunchbox]

To unleash the power of 4K. Vizio's 4K TV collection has you covered with sizes ranging from 43 inches all the way up to a jaw dropping 86 inch screen. Experience stunning clarity like never before, bringing your favorite shows and movies to life. And with watch Free plus built in, you'll enjoy free live and on Demand TV right out of the box. You can even stream your favorite songs with the iHeartRadio app ready to go on every Vizio 4K TV. Upgrade your entertainment. Head to Walmart to find your Vizio 4K TV today.

[H]

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[Lunchbox]

All got a thing. An obsession. For some of us, it's vintage fashion.

[Bobby Bones]

Our cars, anything we can collect.

[Lunchbox]

They all live under one roof. EBay. It's where closets get filled with statement pieces and vintage finds, where must have sneakers wait for you. And designer handbags are the real deal on ebay. Doors open to stacks of the rarest trading cards and a garage stocked with.

[Bobby Bones]

All the car parts you need for any DIY job.

[Lunchbox]

EBay's home to whatever thing you're into that keeps you up at night. Ebay Things people Love Gifting is hard.

[H]

But here's a hint. Give the gift of connection from US Cellular. Not sure what that means? Here's a slightly more specific hint. You can choose four free phones and get four lines for $90 a month from US Cellular. Your family wants new phones?

[Bobby Bones]

How do we know?

[H]

They told us. The good news is that compared to wrapping presents, you're great at getting hints. So take the hint and get them four free phones and four lines for $90 a month. US Cellular built.