AMY: The Fun You Find on the Other Side of Awkward

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Bobby Bones Show – "AMY: The Fun You Find on the Other Side of Awkward"

Episode Information:

• Title: AMY: The Fun You Find on the Other Side of Awkward
• Host/Author: Premiere Networks
• Release Date: August 3, 2025

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Introduction

In this engaging episode of The Bobby Bones Show, hosts Amy and Kat delve deep into personal experiences, emotions, and the journey of overcoming awkwardness to find joy and connection. Skipping the advertisements and promotional segments, the conversation centers around dance classes, personal insecurities, co-parenting dynamics, mental health, and upcoming charity events. The dialogue is rich with relatable anecdotes, heartfelt insights, and moments of humor, making it a compelling listen for anyone navigating similar life challenges.

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1. Dance Class Experience

[02:16 - 10:07]

Kat shares her recent experience attending a hip-hop dance class with her daughter, Stashira, highlighting the mixture of excitement and nervousness she felt.

• Kat: "I feel fun and cool because I went to hip hop dance class last night with my daughter." [02:23]
• Amy: Expresses surprise at the varied age range in the class, noting, "Wait, 6? You said 6." [02:57]

Kat describes the diverse participants, from young children to seniors, and the challenges of balancing her recent eyebrow laser treatments with attending the class.

• Kat: "She was like, mom. And then I felt ridiculous, and I thought, who cares?" [07:16]

The conversation emphasizes the importance of stepping out of one's comfort zone and the rewards of shared activities with loved ones.

2. Personal Feelings and Insecurities

[03:08 - 19:38]

Kat opens up about her ongoing eyebrow laser treatments, detailing the pain and emotional toll it takes.

• Kat: "It was so painful, a tear rolled down my face." [03:37]
• Amy: "You went from that pain to a hip hop class." [04:16]

They discuss the vulnerability of showing up with visible changes, such as her brows, and how it affects her self-perception and confidence.

• Kat: "I'm feeling vulnerable, insecure, walking into a situation with him." [16:03]
• Amy: Encourages positive self-affirmation, saying, "You are kind." [59:50]

The dialogue highlights the struggle between external appearances and internal feelings, emphasizing the journey toward self-acceptance.

3. Emergency Contact Discussion

[47:36 - 50:26]

Kat navigates the practical and emotional aspects of updating her passport's emergency contact post-divorce.

• Kat: "I couldn't put my boyfriend because, well, what if we break up?" [47:39]
• Amy: Suggests, "You can put him as your emergency contact." [49:14]

After contemplating various options, Kat decides to designate her sister as the emergency contact, reflecting on the importance of trusted relationships.

• Kat: "I decided on my sister. I mean, that might be obvious to some people, like, oh, just pick your sister." [51:41]

This segment underscores the complexities of redefining personal connections after significant life changes.

4. Co-Parenting and Charity Event

[24:35 - 54:52]

Kat discusses the blossoming relationship between her son, Stevenson, and her ex-husband's son, Eli, illustrating positive co-parenting dynamics.

• Kat: "Stevenson has a girlfriend. It's kind of a big deal." [24:51]
• Amy: Shares her own early dating experiences, "I had a boyfriend in seventh grade for two weeks." [27:22]

Building on their co-parenting success, Kat introduces an upcoming charity event aimed at supporting foster children, involving their listeners.

• Kat: "It's going to be a top golf. Listen to us Feeling Things podcast and it'll be something really easy." [53:27]
• Amy: Responds enthusiastically, "That's amazing." [54:52]

The hosts emphasize the importance of community involvement and giving back, strengthening their bond through collaborative efforts.

5. Mental Health and Emotions ("Overwhelmulated")

[32:50 - 46:12]

Amy introduces a coined term, "overwhelmulated," to describe a state of being overwhelmed, exhausted, and overstimulated simultaneously.

• Amy: "Overwhelmulated is too easy of a word." [46:03]
• Kat: "Overwhelmulated. Do you think that'll make the dictionary?" [46:10]

The conversation delves into recognizing and differentiating between anxiety and excitement, with Amy sharing her journey of self-discovery and therapy insights.

• Amy: "I went through a whole journey this week of feeling like, oh, this is bad. To, like, wait a second. This is very exciting." [46:55]
• Kat: "I think you have to listen to subliminals that are like, you're secure in your relationship." [48:28]

This section offers listeners a nuanced understanding of their emotions and the importance of self-awareness in mental health.

6. Dating and Relationships

[27:31 - 32:16]

Kat reflects on her past marriage and current dating philosophy, emphasizing the exhaustion she feels toward dating.

• Kat: "The thought of dating just felt exhausting to me." [29:32]
• Amy: Shares her own lengthy relationship with Patrick, contrasting it with her past dating experiences. [31:09]

They discuss the challenges of finding fulfilling relationships in adulthood and the importance of prioritizing emotional well-being over societal expectations.

• Kat: "The only time I dated before this season, obviously I was married for about 17 years." [30:33]
• Amy: "Do I want to jump back into that?" [31:09]

The dialogue highlights the evolving nature of relationships and the value of personal happiness over external pressures.

7. Upcoming Charity Event and Listener Involvement

[53:27 - 54:52]

Kat details an upcoming charity event at Topgolf, aimed at supporting Isaiah 117 House, an organization that assists foster children.

• Kat: "We're gonna have listeners that are gonna pretty much just be able to come be a part of this." [54:12]
• Amy: "That's amazing." [54:52]

Listeners are invited to participate through a giveaway, with sponsorships covering event costs, ensuring accessibility and community engagement.

• Kat: "We have a sponsor that is covering like an underwriting the entire event." [54:46]

This initiative underscores the show's commitment to social responsibility and fostering a sense of community among listeners.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Kat on Dance Class: "I feel fun and cool because I went to hip hop dance class last night with my daughter." [02:23]
• Kat on Emotional Vulnerability: "I'm feeling vulnerable, insecure, walking into a situation with him." [16:03]
• Amy on Overwhelmulated: "Overwhelmulated is too easy of a word." [46:03]
• Kat on Emergency Contact Decision: "I decided on my sister. I mean, that might be obvious to some people, like, oh, just pick your sister." [51:41]
• Kat on Charity Event: "We're gonna have listeners that are gonna pretty much just be able to come be a part of this." [54:12]

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Conclusion

This episode of The Bobby Bones Show offers a heartfelt exploration of personal growth, emotional resilience, and the complexities of modern relationships. Amy and Kat's candid conversations provide listeners with relatable insights and actionable steps toward embracing vulnerability, fostering healthy co-parenting, and contributing to meaningful causes. Their authentic dialogue not only entertains but also inspires, making it a valuable episode for anyone seeking to navigate the "other side of awkward" with grace and positivity.

Transcript

[Amy]

This is an I Heart podcast.

[Kat]

All right, parents, I think you're going to relate to this. Last week I packed what I thought would be a fun new snack in my son's lunchbox for music camp. And he came home and said, hey mom, I ate it, but please, never again. So I have to resort to a snack that never fails me. Kind of sad I didn't have these on hand, but I've got them now and I'm talking about Mott's no sugar added applesauce pouches. They are perfect to keep on hand. They're made with real apples. They're packed in a super easy pouch. Perfect for tossing in a lunchbox or grabbing when you're running out the store. Plus, they're a good source of vitamin C. Mott's real apples make real good applesauce. Learn [e-mail] Big things are happening at your local CVS Extra big. You don't want to miss these extra big deals. And more are coming every two weeks, so keep coming back. Use your extra care card to unlock savings every time you shop. Extracare is the way to save at cvs. So if you're not a member yet, join for free online or in store and start saving. Visit your local CVS store or cvs.com extra big deals to shop this week's.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Deals made from plants and sizzles on a grill.

[Kat]

Impossible.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Feels virtuous and tastes reckless.

[Kat]

Impossible.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Easy to pick up and hard to put down.

[Kat]

Impossible.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, it is. Burgers, hot dogs and chicken. Everything you want from meat. Without the stuff you don't all flavor, no trade offs.

[Kat]

It's impossible.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Purchase impossible products at your local grocery store today.

[Amy]

If you ever have feelings and you just want some, maybe a cat got you covered like a number. Ladies and fellas, we just follow in the spirit where it tell us from the real stuff to the chill stuff.

[Kat]

And the in between.

[Amy]

Sometimes the thing you can do it just stop and feel things. This is Feeling Things with Amy and Kat.

[Kat]

Happy Tuesday. Welcome to Feeling Things. I'm Amy and I'm Kat and I have feelings of the day.

[Amy]

Okay, so multiple, multiple feelings.

[Kat]

You want them all? We'll just rattle them off. I feel fun, cool, vulnerable and glad.

[Amy]

Okay. Did something happen? I can.

[Kat]

I can run through all the reasons why I feel fun and cool because I went to hip hop dance class last night with my daughter.

[Amy]

Like a workout class. Oh wait. One of those classes where they teach you a dance and then you do it for everybody.

[Kat]

Right? It's not. It wasn't a workout, although you do feel like it's a workout. But it was straight at a hip hop dance studio and these girls teaching it, they were so cool. I want to be them. The class ranged from like an age ranges of people in class were 6 year olds to 60 year olds.

[Amy]

Wait, 6? You said 6.

[Kat]

Anybody could come. Yeah, it's an open call, beginner level class, but some of these people definitely not beginners at all.

[Amy]

What did you wear?

[Kat]

Sweatpants, a little crop top thing. I mean, it didn't really show my stomach, but kind of when I did certain moves, it did. And sneakers. Okay, the part. And I had a hat on because I had just had my eyebrows lasered, which some of our listeners have been following this journey. Years ago, I had my eyebrows microbladed and I've been lasering that off. And I had my third treatment yesterday. And at the treatment, it was so painful, a tear rolled down my face.

[Amy]

Just one singular tear.

[Kat]

Yeah, I think because I wasn't trying to cry, but the pain just like pushed out a tear, I guess. And I knew in that moment if you ever needed to torture me for information, whatever setting that laser was on, because I think they were trying to target the specific spot and the color that's coming through because now the brown ink is gone and then there's a red, an orange, a yellow. It's like the layers of the skin. And whatever level it was on yesterday, it was so painful. I knew that's how you get me if you need information.

[Amy]

Okay, well, now we know. But you went from that pain to a hip hop class.

[Kat]

Well, this is why I feel fun and cool. I didn't think I was going to go. I'd already signed us up. And this is something Stashira has been wanting to do for months. And it just hasn't worked with our schedule either. Her stuff, she's been out of town a lot. I haven't been able to go. And the beginner classes are only on Thursday and Saturday nights. Well, I only have her every other Thursday and every other Saturday, so it's just been difficult. And we finally had it on the books. I prepaid, we were registered. And then I realized, oh, shoot, my laser appointment, which I scheduled eight weeks ago, is on the same day. I said it should be. It should be fine. Well, but when I leave the laser appointment, I'm in a lot of pain. My brows are red, they're swollen. The hair is blanched white. I can't put any makeup or anything on it, which is why I Just have a hat on today. No makeup. Because when I can cover it, when I can put concealer and then do my faux brows and draw them on and put my tinted brow gel over my hair, I've got my brow system down. It took me a while to perfect, but now that I've got it, I'm like, I got you, no problem.

[Amy]

Are you still using lift and snatch?

[Kat]

Lift and snatch is one of my best friends. Yes, I use the Anastasia brow powder. Obsessed. Well, first, step one, let me tell you, is concealer. Step two, the brow powder. Step three, lift and snatch. Just some little natural strokes. Step four, Anastasia tinted brow gel. Bam.

[Amy]

Done.

[Kat]

Sounds done.

[Amy]

So easy.

[Kat]

Done. I know people are like, oh, someone even said to me, oh my gosh, your brows. And I kind of like snickered inside. I'm like, she has no idea. When I wash my face, they look nothing like this.

[Amy]

Wait, so she asked to go to that class specifically with you?

[Kat]

Yeah, it's something we decided. You know, back in March we did that therapy camp. I went with my ex husband, their dad. We did a co parenting therapy camp, just us like overnight at this place called on site. And when we were coming up with activities with the therapist of things we could do for dopamine hits, dancing was one of them. And so that could be a dance party in your kitchen or just putting on music when you're driving and like dancing and singing along. But one thing to share expressed in addition to that would be taking a dance class. So I had researched and found one, but it took us till July to finally get our schedules in alignment to where we could go.

[Amy]

So were you nervous?

[Kat]

I was very nervous. But I knew I was going to be there with her, so it was fine. And then when I got there, there were so many people. And then when I saw that some were sick, some are 60, I thought, okay, I feel a little more comfortable now because there's so many people in here and the lights are dark. I can kind of get away with just being over here in the corner and moving my body a little bit. Our dance was to wake up in the morning.

[Amy]

Oh, Kesha.

[Kat]

Yeah, but Kesha. But I don't. I don't. I think they have to beep the P. Diddy obviously don't stop making jump BJ Gonna see goes up tonight I'm a fight to see. Yeah W. Jack.

[Amy]

You know, wake up in the morning with the bottle. Jack.

[Kat]

Tick tock, make it job. So do you want to do the dance tonight? Well, I can't. I only like the first moves are, and then. But you kind of do whatever pose you want, and you hold it and then hold it, and then you walk and then you drop and then you step. I was so lost. Some people were so good. I thought I missed.

[Amy]

I wish I could dance. You missed your calling.

[Kat]

Well, I think if maybe my mom had put me in proper training early on, then I would be better at it. But since I never.

[Amy]

Yeah, exercise. Blame it on your mom.

[Kat]

Thanks a lot, Judy. If I had exercised those muscles, then maybe I wouldn't be so terrible at it.

[Amy]

Yeah, you could still get good.

[Kat]

I considered that. I thought I just need to take some privates. Like, if I take some private hip hop classes. And then maybe I really kind of just get the basics down and I get. My body gets used to feeling it because I think I'm just. It's foreign to me.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

But if I get it down, I get it. Then I feel like. I feel like that could be my thing, but I really have to commit and go all in.

[Amy]

But I also feel that me with pottery or with jewelry making or any of that, it's exciting in the beginning, but are you gonna keep dancing? But I guess also this is a skill that could constantly come in. Like, imagine you at a wedding doing a hip hop dance.

[Kat]

Oh, if TikTok comes on anywhere I am, I'll be like, it'll. It'll just seem like I have this. Just my body's just doing this. But it's a choreographed routine that I practiced for hours.

[Amy]

You could have a hip hop tick tock account.

[Kat]

Definitely not. I don't think that would. No, I could. I could barely even perform in front of the cameras. So they film you. So. And then you break up into groups of seven. So there was tons of people. You break up into groups of seven and you. You perform for the camera. And then you have access to the video. So you could post it if you want, or you can study. Well, I think you have to pay extra, and I'm not paying for the video. I don't want it.

[Amy]

Come on, we want it.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

That could go viral.

[Kat]

I'll get the video. I'll get the video just for you.

[Amy]

Also, did you perform in front of all the people?

[Kat]

If I get the video, could we insert it here in the YouTube? Yes. Okay. We'll pause in case that happens. Here's the video. If it doesn't happen, then.

[Amy]

Wait, so you're performing it? Like, are people watching while you're doing it?

[Kat]

Everybody in the class and how many People were in the class, like, 60 or more. I mean, it was a.

[Amy]

You're a brave group.

[Kat]

I am brave. Thank you. That's when I should have put brave. I'm feeling brave. But I think the cool and fun part came in just because I was there with Stashira, and it's something she really wanted to do. And I felt like a cool mom, and I felt like a fun mom. And I felt ridiculous, and I was embarrassed. In fact, when the video part came around, I looked at my group of seven, and I was like, hey, I think I might let y' all go do it. And I'm just gonna sneak off into the corner. And then Stashira sort of looked at me, and she's like, mom. And then I felt ridiculous, and I thought, who cares? Then I watched other groups go because we were the last and final group. And I think it helped me seeing the other groups because they're just out there having fun. Now, granted, a lot of them were freaking awesome, but at the end of the day, they were just having fun and moving their bodies and feeling the music and not really caring about what anybody else thinks. And some people were just. It was so unexpected. Like, you. You never know who you're next to in line at the grocery store. They might be able to drop it like it hot. And you would not think that, because there were some people where I was like, maybe I was prejudging, but not judging in a bad way. But I just wouldn't look at them and think I would be like, they're probably average. They're just whatever they say and then what? They were some of the best dancers I've ever seen. And, like, very just.

[Amy]

So here's a question. If you could have, like, one party trick, what would it be? Would it be dance? Would it be singing? Would it be playing the piano? Would it be, like, violin? Like, what would you choose?

[Kat]

I feel like we've done this on the Bobby Bone show multiple times over the years, because I've been on it for a very, very, very long time. And my answer has probably changed from time to time. And it rotates between being an amazing dancer, because if, like, I had this skill, I would want to be a dancer for, like, on stage. Justin Timberlake. That's who it was. Back in the day. Like, I really wanted to be a dancer. Backup dancer for Justin Timberlake today.

[Amy]

Who would that be? Taylor Swift?

[Kat]

Sure. Be friends with her, maybe.

[Amy]

Is she friends with all of her dancers?

[Kat]

She would be friends with me. Okay, let's see. Then a piano probably comes in as a solid answer for sure. Because that would be fun. If you're just at a dinner and there's a piano and it's like, oh, okay, fine, I'll play something.

[Amy]

And then you're at airport.

[Kat]

Amazing. Yes. Or at a restaurant, bar, hotel bar. You could just sit down and, like, play a song. That would be clutch, but singing would also be awesome. The thing is, I can do any of those, so.

[Amy]

So you didn't pick one, you just named them all back?

[Kat]

Because I had picked all of them at one point in my life. But being that I'm fresh off of a hip hop dance class, and I was just in such admiration of these girls and how they were moving their bodies, I'd probably pick dance today.

[Amy]

Dancing was really important in college when I was in a sorority because all of, like, the comp. What were they called? Philanthropies. For all the different, like, fraternities and sororities, there was always, like, a performance and I could add nothing. But everybody thought all the dancers were cool back then. I really wish I could dance, but it's never been something that has been important since then.

[Kat]

Well, go to one hip hop class with me next Thursday night. But. And you'll be like, okay, I want to do this.

[Amy]

Do you have rhythm?

[Kat]

I think I have. Yes, I have rhythm. Like, I can find the beat and I can snap, but my brain doesn't register fast enough. Like, some of these people, they saw the run through from the instructor twice, and they're like, oh, no problem. Got it. And then they make all these, like, faces. Like they're all, you know, mad at life but then having a good time. Like, their faces, they just like, they're creating.

[Amy]

Yeah, yeah. They're cooking.

[Kat]

They're cooking.

[Amy]

Did you watch the Dallas Cowboys cheerleading documentary? That didn't make me want to be a cheerleader or a dancer. But it was interesting how they were learning all of those dances so fast, they had to learn, like a hundred of them in, like, two weeks.

[Kat]

But that's what I think. Like, if you brush up on that skill, it's like any muscle, you exercise that part of your brain, and you'll be able to. Yeah, like, at least I'm not discounting the gifts that people have, because some people. That is a legit gift. But I do think I could pick up. So you could. No, no.

[Amy]

Dallas Cowboy.

[Kat]

Not at all. If you don't practice, I don't.

[Amy]

If your mom would have put you in lessons.

[Kat]

Yes, I would have had to have started at a very young age and then been very consistent because I don't think dancing naturally comes to me. But this is just a part of how I'm feeling. This is the cool and fun.

[Amy]

Oh, there's more part, right?

[Kat]

Because then I have the vulnerable and glad part. And the vulnerable is that I'm showing up today with my brows the way they are and just walking around town. I ran some errands before this, and I just was like, nobody cares, but I do, so that's vulnerable for me. And then I'm feeling glad because I hope. I think I'm on the home stretch of the laser brow situation that might have been my last treatment. I maybe, maybe, maybe it's up in the air. I went ahead and booked the next appointment, but she was acting like, let's see how this turns out. You may not need it. And I was like, okay, so I'm just glad I started because this is one of those things you want to put off. Like, even when I sat down in the chair, I forgot. Even though I've already had it twice before. I was like, what's the recovery time again? And she's like, no makeup for one week. No. And I'm like, what did I do last time? I don't remember. And that was only eight weeks ago. How did I survive that? With work and video and different things that we have. And I think I was just wearing hats. And then I wore my glasses to cover my brows, like, my reading glasses. So I don't really remember surviving that. But I've got to go to a funeral with my boyfriend. I guess I'm gonna wear glasses.

[Amy]

You can't wear any makeup on your face.

[Kat]

I can't on the brows. I can wear makeup on my face. I just chose not to today. But I can't wear a hat to the funeral because I think part of.

[Amy]

How I feel like, the hat that cover people do that, they were like. They used to, like, wear, like, the hats, and then, like, you put it over your eyes.

[Kat]

I think that's like, if you're the one in mourning. Like, I didn't know this person.

[Amy]

Okay. So that would be weird.

[Kat]

I'm going with.

[Amy]

Show up in, like, a gown.

[Kat]

They're gonna be like, are you the wife of the deceased? I'm like, I didn't know him.

[Amy]

I just had my brows laser right?

[Kat]

Just trying to cover them up. But my boy or I wear sunglasses the entire time, but my boyfriend knows him, and he asked if I would go. And then when I sat down at the laser place. And she started doing it. And I was like. I was like, shoot, I have something on Saturday where I don't really think I'm gonna wanna wear reading glasses and I can't wear a hat. And she's like, well, do you wanna not treat? And I'm like, well, when is a good time? Like, there's never a good time. And I think the only thing about this particular event, which happens to be a funeral, is that I'm going with him, and he's gonna be seeing a lot of people that he knows, and he's gonna be introducing me.

[Amy]

And you haven't met any. Yeah. Okay.

[Kat]

Obviously, the bigger, more important thing is we're dealing with someone that lost their life, so who cares? Like, I'll figure this out. It doesn't really matter. I just think I feel a little Naked, vulnerable, insecure, walking into a situation with him. And I also want him to feel good. Not like, this is my girlfriend. I don't know. Because, yeah, they're, like, purple. It also looks like maybe I could.

[Amy]

Purple?

[Kat]

You can't see because of the hat. They absolutely are purple. Where there's a brute, there's a bruise right here in a line. And what is it gonna look like? We're in a unhealthy relationship. Like, it. It's not great.

[Amy]

So what's your solution? Just roll with it.

[Kat]

I'll cross that bridge when I get there tomorrow. But I think my plan is I have these other glasses that are like aviators, but, like, you. I know you feel this exact same way about them. I have worn them before. I even wore them on the Bobby Bones Show. And they said I look like Jeffrey Dahmer. So I think that's gonna be my vibe for the funeral. Jeffrey Dahmer.

[Amy]

That's not a good vibe to walk into a funeral with.

[Kat]

I know.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

But my other reading glasses. What? I realized with those, I could wear them, but they touch my brow.

[Amy]

And put them on the edge of your nose.

[Kat]

I know, but if I put them on the edge of the nose, they don't cover my brows. I need them to cover the brows. So all this to say which people are probably like, what? We don't really care, which. I totally understand. I totally get that. I get that.

[Amy]

But you're feeling vulnerable.

[Kat]

But I'm feeling.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Vulnerable. And, you know, you're meeting your boyfriend's friends.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

You want to feel cute even though you're at a funeral, which feels weird to say, so I guess I really don't. I Determined. It doesn't really matter. I just need to go and support him and do my thing and no one will even care or think twice about my brows. It's my own insecurity, but I'm just glad it's almost over. I'm glad that I started it several months ago, and I've been consistent and diligent with the treatments, and hopefully we'll be done. And then someone. I had posted about it on social media, and someone asked me if I would get them remicrobladed. And I originally thought, yes, I originally thought when I. When I started the laser process, that I was going to redo them once the old ones were gone. And now I don't know, because A, I have mastered putting them on, and B, if I ever need to remove them again, I don't want to go through this ever again. It has not been a simple process.

[Amy]

Yeah, because maybe because we're on this journey of Botox. No Botox. You want to let your face breathe for a little bit to see what you're going to do.

[Kat]

Yeah, maybe.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

I don't know. But I'm definitely glad that it's. We're getting close, so these are all my feelings.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

I'll keep you posted on my Jeffrey Dahmer funeral look.

[Amy]

Yeah, send us pics. I want the video of you dancing, and I want to see your Jeffrey Dahmer funeral look. Also interesting. You'd rather have that look than the woman in mourning look?

[Kat]

Well, I don't have a woman in mourning hat, so I guess I'd have to find that. And then also I feel like my boyfriend would be like, what are you wearing? Why are you wearing that ridiculous hat? I'm like, this is my funeral hat.

[Amy]

But I wear it to every funeral.

[Kat]

I have a couple cowgirl hats. And I do think that that is also how. If I think back to when I had my last laser, how I was surviving some work events that I had to do, I was wearing my cowgirl hat.

[Amy]

I was like, you can't wear the cowgirl hat to the funeral for sure. I thought that's where you're going with that.

[Kat]

Wait, well, why wouldn't I be able to wear a cowgirl hat to a funeral? Is that not. That feels like a bit much. But what if I was. What if I was a cowgirl?

[Amy]

But you're not. That feels.

[Kat]

I'm from Texas, okay?

[Amy]

I. I'm not the expert on funerals. I feel like I would rather you wear a lady in morning hat than a cowgirl hat.

[Kat]

Okay, so my options are. Who cares? Lady in morning hat, cowgirl hat, or Jeffrey Dahmer glasses.

[Amy]

Yeah, I feel like if I. Well, okay.

[Kat]

Or I raw dog it and just wear my brows. Like I just go nothing.

[Amy]

That is an option. I don't know. So that's gonna work. Yeah. Let us know what you do. This is gonna be very interesting. You have some good options.

[Kat]

Thank you. I'll keep you posted. I know that I talked a little bit about Stashira having her hip hop desire. Like she loved it so much like she wants to do it. But I do have a Stevenson update for you that I don't know if I've given it to you yet. All right, parents, let's talk snacks. Because if you've got kids, you know how important snacks are. Even if you don't have kids, snacks are still important. You always kind of need a grab and go. Like something that's going to be good for you. And if getting out the door with kids looks anything like my house, well, someone's always running the car with one shoe on. Someone's asking where their water bottle is, and someone's inevitably always hungry, but we need to leave so we can't really deal with that. That's why I love having Mott's no sugar added applesauce pouches around, because they're made with real apples, which I love. No sugar added. And the pouch, it's a total game changer. It's mess free, portable, it fits in lunchboxes, backpacks. It's also a snack that's a good source of vitamin C and kids actually want to eat it. I know this because my kids actually want to eat it. Just the other day my son had a couple of friends over and they were sitting in the back seat and I'm driving them around and I threw some in the front seat of my car because I knew, okay, these boys, they're always hungry and they were so excited when I tossed one back to each of them. Mott's real apples make real good applesauce. Learn [e-mail] Time for a sofa upgrade.

[Annabe]

Visit washablesofas.com and discover Annabe where designer style meets budget friendly prices. With sofas starting at $699, Annabe brings you the ultimate in furniture innovation. With a modular design that allows you to rearrange your space effortlessly. Perfect for both small and large spaces. Anime is the only machine washable sofa inside and out. Say goodbye to stains and messes with liquid and stain resistant fabrics. That make cleaning easy. Liquid simply slides right off. Designed for custom comfort, our high resilience foam lets you choose between a sink in feel or a supportive memory foam blend. Plus our pet friendly stain resistant fabrics ensure your sofa stays beautiful for years. Don't compromise quality for price. Visit washablesofas.com to upgrade your living space today with no risk returns and a 30 day money back guarantee. Get up to 60% off plus free shipping and free returns. Shop [e-mail] Offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

[Kat]

Big things are happening at your local cvs. Extra Big. So hurry on over because extra big deals are here. These are deals so extra that they absolutely cannot be missed. And every two weeks there's going to be more. So you've got to keep coming back so that you can keep on saving on all the brands and products that you and your family use every day. And speaking of saving, extra care is the way to save at cvs. So use your extra care card to unlock savings every time you shop. And if you're not a member yet, now is the time to join. And the best part, it's completely free. Free. Just sign up online or in store and you'll start saving instantly. And always be sure to check the CVS health app for deals and savings. Visit your local CVS store or cvs.com extra big deals to shop this week's deals and stock up on your favorite products. So for anybody listening, Steven since my son. So she's my daughter. So she's into hip hop right now. I can tell she got the bug. She already. She said, if you take privates, can I join?

[Amy]

Wait, you really talked about taking privates?

[Kat]

I really did, yes. Yeah, why not? I just.

[Amy]

I would love this for you. No, I want you to do it. Yeah, okay.

[Kat]

Could be my thing. So Stevenson has a girlfriend. It's kind of a big deal.

[Amy]

Wait, what?

[Kat]

Great.

[Amy]

How old is he?

[Kat]

He's going to be in eighth grade.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

And I have to tell you the cutest story. So they went to the movies, so her mom dropped them off. And I'm friends with her parents, so it's kind of fun. We even had a group text with the mom and the dad there. And then me and Ben, like the mom said, hey, who knows if this is gonna last two weeks, two months or two days. But this is so cool. How fun. But also they have a son that our son is friends with and he would do sleepovers over there. And she's like, well, now that he's dating his sister or their boyfriend and girlfriend. No more sleepovers. Hope y' all are on board with that. And I'm like, oh, yeah. I was gonna say the same exact thing. So glad we're on the same page. So we. We are friends, and that makes it fun. She picked them up, dropped them off at the movies, and I had to pick them up. So I pick them up. And then after we dropped her off at home, I was like, so, did y' all sit by each other? And there was other people there, too. And he said, yeah, we sat by each other, but we had our other friends around. And I said, well, did you hold her hand? And he said, oh, not yet. And I said, oh, okay. Well, I was just curious. He goes, I'm taking things slow, but I am going to be smooth like melted butter. And I was like, where did you even get this saying? Like, where did you hear that? And he's like, I made it up, but that's my vibe. Like melted butter.

[Amy]

Okay, so I have some questions about this. If his friend wants to sleep over here.

[Kat]

Yeah, his friend can sleep over here. It's just that he can't sleep over there because she's there. That's his sister.

[Amy]

Is she older, younger?

[Kat]

No, they're the same age.

[Amy]

Okay. This is kind of messy. Like, your friend is now dating your sister.

[Kat]

Yeah, I think they're at the age that. It doesn't matter. The brother thinks it's kind of cool. He's like, I'll let you. The brother was actually in the car when I picked them up, too. And the brother got in the front seat with me. And then Stevenson and his girlfriend sat in the back, and Stevenson said, oh, Eli, you're sitting up front. And he's like, I'll let you two lovebirds sit in the back. Like, okay. You know.

[Amy]

Yeah. Yeah, sort of. That's so funny. Okay. So how do you feel?

[Kat]

I feel good. I'm glad he's having this experience. Kind of cute and Fun watching him FaceTime. And I just hope. Yeah. If it doesn't work out, that it doesn't impact any friendships or anything that they have. I'm like, we're too young for this. But it is kind of sweet to see him, like, somebody.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

And for. And they're talking to each other.

[Amy]

I had a boyfriend in seventh grade for two weeks, and we didn't speak to each other for the two weeks. I think he would, like, message me on aim, but that's it. If we saw each other at school, we Would walk the other way. Yeah.

[Kat]

When I had boyfriends in elementary school, we would talk on the phone all the time. And then, yeah, when I would see him at school, we didn't speak at all. But by junior high, if I had a boyfriend, we would talk in house.

[Amy]

Oh, well, I guess what's junior high to you? Middle school?

[Kat]

Sixth, seventh, eighth.

[Amy]

Oh, okay. You were more mature than me.

[Kat]

I can see that. Just kidding. You know, something came up on the Bobby Bone show about dating and if you would take a million dollars to break up with your partner, and we were all like, no, well, what about 5 million? And some people on the show were like, oh, yeah, I'm out. Like, current, yes, current, I'm out. And I was saying, no. And they're like, what, you're in a new relationship? I said, we've been dating eight months. And also, I feel like I wouldn't keep dating him if I didn't think we were actually going somewhere. And the thought of going back into dating. The only time I dated before this season, obviously I was married for about 17 years. But then dating back in the day or gosh, we were just talking about elementary school, junior high, high school. Like, those are the years where it's real fun in your 40s and 50s. I didn't found it to be, like, super fun. It's actually exhausting. And yeah, it was just a lot. And I. The type of men that are available at least, maybe I just hadn't met the right ones. My experience now, I had some that are nice. Yes. I'm not saying a blanket statement that they're all bad, but it just wasn't super fun or seemed like there was a lot of available men that were fitting what I was looking for. So the fact that I found someone that I really enjoy being with and vice versa, he enjoys being with me. I don't want to throw that away. Yes. Is that a ton of money? Sure. But I'd rather have my lifestyle the same and not have that money and not be lonely anyway, the thought of dating just felt exhausting to me. So I just didn't know if you would take a million dollars and break up with Big P.

[Amy]

So even if I would, I would lie. I think, Okay, I wouldn't. But, like, I'm so the reason I'm saying that is I'm shocked that anybody would admit that who has a current partner that is just asking to be in a fight.

[Kat]

So, like, if you're okay. Oh, my gosh, I'm glad you're saying this. So I brought back to the guys. I went and asked my boyfriend this.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

And I said that he said the same thing as me, that he wouldn't take it. And they all said that exact same thing. Well, he's not going to tell you the truth.

[Amy]

Like, yeah, imagine he says yes.

[Kat]

Then you're gonna want to break up with him.

[Amy]

If you're asking him that, you're just, like, asking that for affirmation. I think really, like, see, he wouldn't do it, but if you would do it, it's. It's a fake scenario. So, like, it's not. Like, if it's really happening, maybe they would do it because then they get the $5 million. But if it's a fake scenario, that's just asking for a fight. So I don't trust any of these answers, but I'm extra curious why somebody would admit that unless they're just trying to ruffle some feathers. Right. Like, if you're in a happy marriage.

[Kat]

Actually, no, you're not in a happy marriage if you're saying yes to that. Because I would say towards the end of my marriage, if you were to be like, here's 5 million, I'd be like, okay. But that's. It sounds horrible to say, but I ended up divorcing anyway. And I know that. I know that on the. Because I'm on the other side of it.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

So I'm able to say that now in Jeff. But anyway, just the thought of me dating now felt exhausting. So I didn't know with you, like, if you were to somehow end up in the dating pool. Let's put this money hypothetical aside. Could you imagine dating again right now?

[Amy]

So that's a mixed question for me because it doesn't feel that long ago to me. I've been with Patrick for three and a half years, but I did a lot of dating all through my 20s and early 30s, so I was very used to that where you weren't used to it now, do I want to jump back into that?

[Kat]

No.

[Amy]

And I'm glad that you said this. The pool is different, like, post 30, because of the way that our society does get and the times that people get married, people are usually either in relationships or there can be some other stuff going on. And I'm trying to say this not to, like, make myself look bad. Like, the availability of healthy people gets lower and lower as we get older. So, no, I don't want to be in that again. But also, a lot of my friends are in it, so I wouldn't be alone.

[Kat]

That's true. That's true. I don't want to make it also seem so miserable for those that might be in it or entering it. Like, yeah, there can be a lot of fun that comes from it and growth.

[Amy]

I have some good times.

[Kat]

Yeah, like, we have good times. You have bad times.

[Amy]

I am really grateful for my experience because I learned a lot through my dating experience. Do I want to go on the bad dates again or, like, have the experiences where, like, my feelings were really hurt? No. But some of the stories are really funny, and I'm like, well, that. That was exciting, you know?

[Kat]

Yeah. And you. You have those stories you can bust out.

[Amy]

Yeah. My date jar that we put them all in. So, like, actually, that should be a show we do one day is I bring the date jar and we read them.

[Kat]

Oh, 100. You must bring the date jar. And we just pull it out. Yeah.

[Amy]

And read them.

[Kat]

Read.

[Amy]

Okay. All right.

[Kat]

Date jar episode.

[Amy]

Okay. Also, speaking of exhausted, I was on Instagram when I saw this post from Dr. Amy Shaw, and she had, like, a definition of a word, which was, this is gonna be hard for me to say. I read it and it worked. But saying out loud, I might need some help. Exhaust or, well, mulated. Oh, that wasn't so bad. Exhaust. Realm. You laid it.

[Kat]

I'm gonna try to put in. Put together all the words. I think those are. So is it a combination of exhausted, overwhelmed, and over stimulated?

[Amy]

Yes. Huh. All at once. And I clocked it because I've been feeling not in the dating world, in my relationship, but I've been feeling, you know, this, like, crazy. I think every day I've probably texted you, being like, I feel crazy today because I have a lot going on. And it felt chaotic. And I think I was telling myself a story that was bad. I'm so busy. I have so much to do that this is bad. It was like, I think the behind the scenes, like, there was this message of, like, this is not good. And then I was talking to my therapist about it, because one thing that I do know about myself is I am impulsive. So I do a lot of, like, how you would start individual private dance lessons from taking one dance class. Like, that's something I would do. I get an idea in my head, and I just do it. And two things came out of that conversation. One, she was like, was that gotten you in trouble? Like, how you function that way? And I said, no, Actually, that has been what has gotten me most of the things that I really love in my life. Like, I don't think too much about things. I want to start a podcast. I just start a podcast. Yeah, I want to open a practice. I just opened a practice. I wanted to be a cycling instructor. I had no experience of teaching fitness or riding bikes indoors. I did that. I wanted to go. I go get us on a date. I go on the date. Like, I don't think too much about that kind of stuff. Big things. And I think if I thought too much about them, I wouldn't do them. You know, I would analyze them. Like, with the cycling, I'd be like, oh, would I be good at that? Would that be embarrassing? How would I feel? What would my friends think? Like, I didn't think of any of that. Just did it. So she was like, okay, well, maybe this is one. This could be one of those things with the stuff that I was taking on. And then we kept talking and I realized the anxiety that I felt is more. I'm excited. Like, I'm taking on this stuff. We're trying to move. I don't know. I'm trying to keep that a secret. Like, it's not.

[Kat]

Well, I think you have other things going on too, though.

[Amy]

Oh, yeah? Yeah, yeah.

[Kat]

Like, to me, the moving is like, a small part of it. Yeah, I get. The moving is a huge deal. I mean, they say top five things that can add stress to your life. Moving is one of them.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

So there is a lot going on, but I think you have other factors that are feeding into that, which, you know. Yeah, we'll talk about one day. You maybe won't, but it's funny that I just embrace that, because don't you think?

[Amy]

Yes, but also with that too, there's no question in my mind about that part of what you're talking about.

[Kat]

I guess it can just, like, magnify. Yeah, yeah.

[Amy]

With the movie. And I'm like, is this the right time? Is this so, like, am I just doing this because I'm impulsive? Am I? I was, like, questioning it, and I'm like, wait a second. I have to remember that when I don't question myself. Yes. There are times you should think through things, and I'm not just like, oh, I like this house. I don't know how much money I have. I'm gonna buy it. Like, I know that there's certain things that you have to think about when you're buying a house and moving, but when I don't over analyze things and I trust myself and allow myself to, like, lead myself, things have worked for me and now, those roads weren't perfect. Like, with the cycling, instructing. The first audition I did. I didn't make it. It was actually quite embarrassing.

[Kat]

Wait, you didn't make it? Like, at a studio? Like, you were auditioning to become an instructor and they didn't hire you?

[Amy]

They didn't hire me.

[Kat]

Oh, no.

[Amy]

And then the second place that I auditioned, what's funny is I interviewed. I reached out to them because I wanted to just manage the studio. I was having a crisis, and I was like, I shouldn't be a therapist anymore. I'm gonna manage a gym. I know. Oh, okay. So maybe she was like, keep your job.

[Kat]

Like, you can still be a therapist, but you need to go see a therapist.

[Amy]

She'll keep your job, but you might. Like, what if you audition to be an instructor? And I was like, oh, I've done that once. And they said no. So I was like, okay, sure. In that audition, it's funny because the trainer would joke about it later, but she was like, you were really bad, and I had to, like, stop you and, like, change some things. But she was like, I saw that you're trainable and teachable, and so I took that, like, idea of potential.

[Kat]

I need to know, like, what your bad class was. I need to know, like, what. What made it bad? I mean, you just, like, turn the knob up a little bit. Like, how could you? I mean, you gotta have good music and then just, like, yell at some encouraging things.

[Amy]

So an audition, though, isn't a full class. It's just. Well, okay, do you want to know about the two auditions? Is this.

[Kat]

I mean, I guess yes. Now I'm invested. I'm just curious. Like, you need to be inspirational. You need good music, and you gotta do some hills and some sprints.

[Amy]

So the first place that I auditioned, it wasn't open yet. So we send a video and answer some questions. They invited us back, and then they did individual little auditions in this, like, apartment complex where they just had this one bike in the corner, and they played music off of a phone. And they said, we can teach you how to be an instructor. We just want to make sure that you have rhythm. Oh, yeah. So I, like, couldn't really hear the music, so I guess maybe I didn't have rhythm. I remember they played, like, a Taylor Swift song. And what they did was they kept, like, changing the music so you would have to find the beat really fast. So I guess maybe they were like, she doesn't have rhythm. Never heard from them again. The other one, which is usually what it's like, to audition is you go into a room of nobody. Like, two people that are judging you, and you just teach to fake people. And we did like 30 seconds of two songs. So I guess my 30 seconds of two songs of my fake teaching was not great.

[Kat]

Like, give me an example. Like, what'd you say? Like, hey, everybody, welcome to class.

[Amy]

Like, I don't know what I said, but I know one of my songs was Hailee Steinfeld Starving and the Justin Timberlake Trolls song.

[Kat]

I got this feeling inside my soul.

[Amy]

I would never play either of those. Like now. Yeah, but they. Oh, they chose me. But then you had to go through.

[Kat]

A boot camp, so they molded you.

[Amy]

And then you could get cut every day of the boot camp.

[Kat]

And you survived somehow.

[Amy]

Like, I honestly, I'm like, why? Eventually I got good after doing it for. I got decent after doing it for years. But in the beginning, I would love to know what people thought about, like, truly thought about my classes.

[Kat]

I can't speak.

[Amy]

I'm glad I don't have those videos.

[Kat]

I never came. Yeah, I was like, speaking of videos, we need to know especially that one of you where they're just filming you alone on a bike in the corner of an apartment. I'm like, are you sure you were at an audition?

[Amy]

Like, but also, like, I was nervous, so I'm like, I bet they could, like, hear me, like, breathing over the, like, low music. You know what I mean?

[Kat]

Like, that's bad.

[Amy]

When things are quiet, it's so much easier to be confident in loud spaces.

[Kat]

Like at the hip hop class, when I showed up and there was more people and it was dark and loud, I let loose.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Like, if there had only been 10 people in this massive room, I don't think I would have been able to shake it off because I had to really.

[Amy]

It's like more intimate. I feel like when I'm talking in front of people, if I have a microphone, I feel more confident. But if I have to project my own voice, there's like a vulnerability in that. Anyway, I didn't mean to really talk about that. I really was bringing that up because I thought it was interesting that I had this experience where I'm like, this is bad that you feel this way. And my anxiety was actually excitement and I didn't allow my. I eventually did, but for a period of time, I wasn't allowing myself to listen to that. I was making assumptions about my feelings versus really, really listening to them.

[Kat]

So how are you supposed to know? I mean, this is good. Especially since this is a Feeling Things podcast about our feelings. Like what if somebody else listening right now is like, I've been feeling some anxiety around XYZ in my life and now they're wondering what if it's actually excitement? All right parents, let's talk snacks. Because if you've got kids, you know how important snacks are. Even if you don't have kids, snacks are still important. You always kind of need a grab and go. Like something that's going to be good for you. And if getting out the door with kids looks anything like my house, well, someone's always running the car with one shoe on, someone's asking where their water bottle is, and someone's inevitably always hungry. But we need to leave so we can't really deal with that. That's why I love having Mott's no sugar added applesauce pouches around because they're made with real apples, which I love. No sugar added and the pouch. It's a total game changer. It's mess free, portable, it fits in lunch boxes, backpacks. It's also a snack that's a good source of vitamin C and kids actually want to eat it. I know this because my kids actually want to eat it. Just the other day my son had a couple of friends over and they were sitting in the backseat and I'm driving them around and I threw some in the front seat of my car because I knew, okay, these boys, they're always hungry and they were so excited when I tossed one back to each of them. Mott's Real apples make real good applesauce. Learn [e-mail] Time for a sofa upgrade?

[Annabe]

Visit washablesofas.com and discover Annabe where designer style meets budget friendly prices. With sofas starting at $699, Annabe brings you the ultimate in furniture innovation with a modular design that allows you to rearrange your space effortlessly. Perfect for both small and large spaces, Anabe is the only machine washable sofa inside and out. Say goodbye to stains and messes with liquid and stain resistant fabrics that make cleaning easy. Liquid simply slides right off. Designed for custom comfort, our high resilience foam lets you you choose between a sink in feel or a supportive memory foam blend. Plus our pet friendly stain resistant fabrics ensure your sofa stays beautiful for years. Don't compromise quality for price. Visit washablesofas.com to upgrade your living space today with no risk returns and a 30 day money back guarantee. Get up to 60% off plus free shipping and free returns Shop now at washablesofas.com Offers are subject to change and certain rest restrictions may apply.

[Kat]

Big things are happening at your local CVS Extra Big. So hurry on over because extra big deals are here. These are deals so extra that they absolutely cannot be missed. And every two weeks there's going to be more. So you've got to keep coming back so that you can keep on saving on all the brands and products that you and your family use every day. And Speaking of saving, ExtraCare is the way to save at CVS. So use your extra care card to unlock savings every time you shop. And if you're not a member yet, now is the time to join. And the best part, it's completely free. Just sign up online or in store and you'll start saving instantly. And always be sure to check the CVS Health app for deals and savings. Visit your local CVS store or cvs.com extra big deals to shop this week's deals and stock up on your favorite products.

[Amy]

I think talking to people about it because that, I think I was having this looping conversation in my head and that's why therapists need to go to therapy, because I cannot be non judgmental towards myself. I have all of my bias inside of me pointing back at me. So the questions that I'm asking myself can be very different than the questions that somebody else would ask me. And one of the things she asked me was, what are you looking for when you're talking to other people about these things? Because I, at one point I was like, nobody's telling me what to do. Nobody that I was talking to about these decisions I was making was telling me what to do. They were all saying, you have to make this decision. And I was like, I was just one, I was like, even you, like, you're not telling me what to do. Like I want somebody to tell me what to do. And she was like, are you sure? Because what if I said do this? Because then she was like, how do you show up when people tell you what to do? And I go, actually, I hate when people tell me what to do.

[Kat]

You hate it. It's almost like you're like, I want somebody to tell me what to do. But also I hate when people tell me what to do.

[Amy]

So she was like, okay, so maybe you're not looking for that. And I said, you know what? I'm look, I'm just looking for people to affirm what I already know that I want. That's what I want. But people can't affirm what? I won that I might have to affirm myself. But also, people can't affirm this unless I'm sharing it with them, too. Some of the stuff I wasn't sharing with people.

[Kat]

So. Because you were overwhelm you later.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

You couldn't identify the excitement.

[Amy]

Yes. Yeah.

[Kat]

Overwhelmulated. Do you think that'll make the dictionary?

[Amy]

Why wouldn't it? That is so helpful. We don't have to say three words. We say one, and we can understand what it means.

[Kat]

I'm just overwhelmulated.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

Back off. Yeah. And affirm me.

[Kat]

Yeah. Do you even know what overwhelmulated means?

[Amy]

I do.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

I don't think my therapist did. And I don't like that you would.

[Kat]

Say if you say that to somebody, they're gonna be like, you're. What the. You're overwhelmulated. Yeah. Think about it.

[Amy]

Like, that's not even a real word. And you're gonna say, look it up in the dictionary. And they're gonna say, it's not in there, is it?

[Kat]

No, that's not. It's not even overwhelmulated. Isn't it? Hold on. Exhaust. Orwellulumulated.

[Amy]

Overwhelmulated is too easy of a word. Exhausterwelmulated.

[Kat]

Exhauster.

[Amy]

Well, we could add exhauster. Overwhelmulated.

[Kat]

Exhaust. Or, well, melated.

[Amy]

Anyway.

[Kat]

Well, I love that. Yeah, now we know exhauster. Well, melated.

[Amy]

Yeah. I went through a whole journey this week of feeling like, oh, this is bad. To, like, wait a second. This is very exciting. This is a very exciting time.

[Kat]

It is. I had to listen to my gut this week, too, on my emergency contact. I have to get a new passport because mine expires at the end of the year. So I'm just trying to do all the paperwork, so it's filling everything out. Took my new photo, submitting it all online, and I had to enter my emergency contact. Well, the last time I did my passport, my emergency contact was my husband at the time. And I thought, well, who's gonna be my new emergency contact? I can't put my boyfriend because, well, what if we break up?

[Amy]

Because this is for, like, the next 10 years.

[Kat]

Yes, the next 10 years, which I don't think we're gonna break up. He says that. I say that a lot. Like, I'll be like, what if we break up? Or you should just go ahead and break up with me. I don't know. I think I just try to get ahead of it just in case it's not healthy.

[Amy]

Are you saying that when you're in conflict.

[Kat]

I'm exhausted while mulated.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

No, not when we're in conflict. More like I say it totally jokingly. It's in a very light moment, but I'm maybe admitting something about myself where I'm just like, okay, fine, if you're just gonna break up with me, you should probably do it now. But it's like, it's like a defense. Is there a hidden thing underneath and like, why I keep doing that? And he's like, you've been saying that a lot lately. And I said, I have. Okay, I'll work on that. Because I don't want to also. I don't want to manifest that either.

[Amy]

That feels like a. Yeah. Defense mechanism. Or like, I'm just gonna call this. It's like image management. When I, like, call something out about myself before somebody else can notice it so I can get ahead of it. It's like, well, just break up with me. So then what you also probably want him to say is, why would I do that?

[Kat]

Yeah. I know when I'm fishing for a fight and I do that, and I totally do that, but I don't think I'm fishing for him to be like, I'm not going to break up with you. Because I do think I'm saying it in lighter moments. I'm not actually expecting a response, but I didn't realize how much I was doing it.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

So some of us could be on a subconscious level. It's lingering back there. So maybe I need to listen to subliminals that are like, you're secure in your relationship. Have no fear. You are fine. You. He does not want to break up with you.

[Amy]

You can put him as your emergency contact.

[Kat]

Yeah, well, I don't know that we go that far, but I did have to. I, like, I was checking in. I was like, what do I. I was like, I. I could keep Ben and honestly, Ben and I's co parenting and friendship relationship is the best it's been right now.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

And I. I'm so proud of us. It hasn't always been this great. It's been good. And then it's had rocky moments for sure that were sort of circumstantial. And now it's just really seems healthy and good. And I'm very, very, very, very thankful for that. We're even working on a charity event together.

[Amy]

Wait, but how would Alex feel if you put your ex husband as your emergency contact?

[Kat]

Well, it wouldn't be that I was putting him. It would be that I would just leave him. Okay, I know, I know, I know. But I. Yeah.

[Amy]

Like, whoops. I didn't know that I had to redo that.

[Kat]

Yeah, well, I'm saying I had to listen to my gut. I'm like, oh, this doesn't. This would not even be right. But it just seemed like. I think I just felt a little like, ugh, there's parts of me, like my younger part of me that never saw myself getting divorced. And so this was a moment where I'm having to face a decision that equals that I got divorced. Does that make sense?

[Amy]

Yeah, it's, like, bigger than just the.

[Kat]

It's like, Ben's always going to be in my life because we have kids together, and what if I'm on a trip with my kids? It makes sense that Ben would be the emergency contact, you know, like, I just left the country with the kids a couple of weeks ago, and Ben would be who we would need to contact because he's the father of my kids. So I didn't think it was that far fetched. But then I had to listen to my gut. My gut was like, find somebody else. But then parts of me that were had a little bit of shame of like, well, you wouldn't even be in this situation if you had just figured out your marriage and you never got divorced, you know? But then I was like, stop, we're not doing that. Stop, we're not going to do that. So this was a big internal conversation with myself. Yes. So then ultimately, drum roll. I decided on my sister. I mean, that might be obvious to some people, like, oh, just pick your sister. But for whatever reason, she wasn't popping in my head right away. Then I was like, well, then I was like, don't have mom, don't have a dad, don't have a husband, you know, so then I was like, oh, yeah, I do have a sister. And gosh darn it, she loves me.

[Amy]

Gosh darn it, she would love to be your emergency contact.

[Kat]

Right. And then, of course, I know I have friends that I could sign up for that position too, but. And honestly, let's just hope I'm never in a situation where I have my passport, because that would mean I'm likely in another country and we have to contact an emergency contact. That just seems freaky to me. I don't want anything to ever happen to me in a foreign country.

[Amy]

Yeah, but that is a big deal. And I like your, like, road that you went down on to get there. I like the internal dialogue you had. And I think this also is like probably a big deal for other people too. Emergency contact. Whether they have never been married before or they're going through something like you, where they got divorced and now they're getting a new document or they have to answer this question for the first time. Like, I think that can be a. It's a realization of what happened, like what you said.

[Kat]

Speaking of the charity event that Ben and I are doing, I just realized that I've sort of had some internal dialogue and made up this whole thing and you would be involved in it a little bit too. So I kind of need to go over it with you after this. Wait, I know you don't like being told what to do, but this is for foster kids.

[Amy]

So you mean after we're done recording?

[Kat]

Well, we just need to. In the next week or so, I need to update you on some decisions that I have made to do on behalf of foster children.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

And it'll involve our listeners too. I think it's gonna be fun. I think you're gonna love it and can be there.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

And then my boyfriend can be there and then my ex husband will be there. Good times. My former emergency contact and your future emergency. Yeah, potential emergency emergency contact. We'll be all hanging out together. Do you like. You like top golf?

[Amy]

Love topgolf.

[Kat]

Well, guess what? It's going to be a top golf.

[Amy]

You know, the last time I did a charity at topgolf, I won.

[Kat]

Shut up.

[Amy]

Yeah, I won a six month membership to topgolf. However, I didn't know that it started effective immediately. So I waited six months to activate it and then it was expired. So I'd love to win another one.

[Kat]

Well, I had no idea I might have the winner on my team like you me, because you would be on my team.

[Amy]

I think my team carried me though. I don't know. It was me. My team won. Sorry, that was a little false advertising.

[Kat]

100 false advertising.

[Amy]

You said.

[Kat]

You said. Did you know I won?

[Amy]

You didn't.

[Kat]

I did win.

[Amy]

I did win. I was on the winning team. So therefore I won and I was the head of the team, so I got to have the membership.

[Kat]

Okay, well, we can talk offline about this a little bit. Since I dropped like a hint. We will have listeners that are gonna pretty much just be able to come be a part of this. And they won't have to pay anything because we have a sponsor that is covering like an underwriting the entire event. So that part's paid for. There are other people, There are other Sponsorship opportunities for different bays where companies could bring a team if they want to or families could come and build it. But since we have the underwriter, which is Taylor Farms, shout out everything with topgolf, the fees for that is covered. So whatever money comes in for the event, 100% will go to the foster.

[Amy]

That's amazing.

[Kat]

So.

[Amy]

And Patrick will love that too.

[Kat]

Yeah. And what's gonna be fun for us, since Taylor Farms paid for several bays for us, we're just gonna get to invite listeners and they get to bring a guest and it'll be like a fun outing. And it's for Isaiah 117 House. If anybody's familiar, they're a nationwide organization. But where Ben and I go to church, we still go to the same church. They're very involved with that and Ben has gotten involved in it and we wanted the kids to be involved. And then as part of our healthy co parenting, we're like, well, it might be good if our kids see us giving back to something together. And so I'm gonna need to give you the date. We'll share all the details on the podcast later, but it'll probably be a giveaway that we'll do on our Instagram to listeners. So we'll give you all the information here, but then you all need to follow us Feeling Things podcast and it'll be something really easy, basically like comment, swipe here, comment here and we'll just select somebody and then you'll get to come with a guest to topgolf for an evening there. And it includes like a fajita buffet and topgolf top contender prizes.

[Amy]

And maybe I'll win another membership and.

[Kat]

I'll use it this time and you'll actually use it. Sorry, I hadn't shared any of that with you yet, but I was like, Cat will be totally into this.

[Amy]

What if I was like, I'm not doing that also, I just don't think that we.

[Kat]

That our friendship wouldn't really work out if you were into that. Because it's not like I'm signing you up for something like horrible. It's actually like something good and then also something fun because we have been looking for a way to connect with listeners and. Yeah, no, I just kept forgetting, I think because, well, a. I've known you'd had a lot going on. So it's like between your stuff going on and then I had my kids this week and it sort of finalized this week. Ben and I had a call and so you could see where this week it just hadn't come up yet.

[Amy]

Yeah. I don't know if you felt like I was being SIB lately, but I.

[Kat]

Was SIB this week, too. And if y' all are new to listening, SIV is when you're talking to your friend, you can just use that acronym and be like sib, which means sorry, I. And it helps lighten the mood. But Kat was SIV this week. I was SIV this week. So do you see how, with our Sivness, I didn't have time to talk to you about how I was signing you up? Join me.

[Amy]

That would really throw us over the edge.

[Kat]

Yeah. But I. I think it'll be a fun night.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

And it's. I know. I Heart Festival is the weekend of the 20th of September, and it's the weekend after that, so probably, like, the 26th or something that Friday. Tell me you're not gonna be in, like, Vermont, are you?

[Amy]

Here.

[Kat]

I was gonna be in Vermont on September 26th. That was the date it was meant to be. That. That got canceled.

[Amy]

Might have been the week before that, but we were looking at that. I don't remember what day. It doesn't matter because I canceled it.

[Kat]

Yeah, that's.

[Amy]

That's crazy.

[Kat]

Serendipitous.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

I know you were pretty bummed about having to cancel that trip, but see how it worked out. Now you get to.

[Amy]

I really wasn't that bummed when I thought about it. That's. Another one of those things is, like, I should. I thought that, like, you should be sad about this, but I am actually more excited about why I had to cancel that. I canceled it for Top Golf. I just didn't know.

[Kat]

Yeah. Yeah. You know, See?

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Everything works out sometimes. Sometimes it doesn't.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

I just don't like that saying. You know how some people say it?

[Amy]

Like, it'll all work out in the end. If it hasn't worked out yet, then it's not the end.

[Kat]

Everything always works out for me. That's like the subliminals that I listen to.

[Amy]

I don't mind girl syndrome.

[Kat]

I don't mind programming my subconscious mind to think that way, though. But I don't want to outwardly just be that way.

[Amy]

Well, the whole lucky girl syndrome thing, so.

[Kat]

Oh, we could do a lucky girl syndrome deep dive.

[Amy]

We could. There's something recently that went viral on the Internet about somebody saying that, like, when they wanted to get pregnant, they just were like, I am manifesting that I have a healthy uterus and that I will get pregnant. And then she said, every Time she tried, she got pregnant. And I'm like, if it was that.

[Kat]

Easy, then I would have gotten pregnant. And seven months ago, I have, like, a bajillion negative pregnancy tests that I can show you from about 2011 that are proof that. That. But you know what? Yeah, Cat.

[Amy]

What?

[Kat]

When I was trying to get pregnant, I didn't do that. I didn't say, okay, stop.

[Amy]

That's right. That is why it's toxic. Because then people are like, well, if I would have done that, then I wouldn't have. I wouldn't have done this or this or that or, like, come on. Yes. I think believing positive thoughts, having positive thoughts cannot hurt you. And it probably will help you. It is not going to make it or break it.

[Kat]

Yes, I agree. But, you know, even when my mom was sick, her doctors said through and through, they see it with patients all over. The more positive you are, the better experience you have. But none of them are saying it means you're going to survive this and you're going to beat cancer, but your experience is going to be night and day. Yes.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

So I think that is what I'm saying is I never even gave myself that chance. I never. I never said uterus. You are strong. You are healthy.

[Amy]

You are kind.

[Kat]

You are meant to carry a baby. You can do this. You are a baby magnet.

[Amy]

Okay, to be honest, I haven't done that either. But I have had a very positive attitude in my head. I'm like, I will get pregnant. I just don't know when. But that hasn't gotten me pregnant. So I think that that type of content or those kinds of stories, if that worked for her, great. But I also think she didn't get pregnant because she said that.

[Kat]

Right?

[Amy]

She just said that. And she also got pregnant. You see what I'm saying?

[Kat]

I know, but she has the lucky girl syndrome.

[Amy]

Okay, so we're gonna do a deep dive on that. I would love to.

[Kat]

Okay. All right, well, we hope y' all have the day you need to have. Bye. Bye. All right, parents, I think you're going to relate to this. Last week, I packed what I thought would be a fun new snack in my son's lunchbox for music camp. And he came home and said, hey, mom, I ate it, but please, never again. So I have to resort to a snack that never fails me. Kind of sad. I didn't have these on hand, but I've got them now. And I'm talking about Mott's, no sugar added applesauce pouches. They are perfect. To keep on hand. They're made with real apples. They're packed in a super easy pouch, perfect for tossing in a lunchbox or grabbing when you're running out the door. Plus, they're a good source of vitamin C. Mott's real apples make real good applesauce.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Learn [e-mail] hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Now through August 26th, it's back to Deals Time, where you can enjoy storewide deals and earn four times points. Look for in store tags to earn on eligible items from Triscuit, Starbucks, Frito Lay, Ziploc, Charmin, Charmin Ultrasoft, and Tide Liquid Original. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.

[Amy]

The Girlfriends is back with a new season, and this time I'm telling you the story of Kelly Harnett. Kelly spent over a decade in prison for a murder she says she didn't commit. As she fought for her freedom, she taught herself the law. He goes, oh God.

[Kat]

Harnett Jailhouse Lawyer and became a beacon.

[Amy]

Of hope for the women locked up alongside her. You're supposed to have your faith in God, but I had nothing but faith in her.

[Kat]

I think I was put here to save souls by getting people out of prison.

[Amy]

The Girlfriends Jailhouse Lawyer Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an I heart podcast.