BOBBYCAST - Kaitlyn Bristowe on DWTS Trauma + Manifesting a Win By Sleeping with a Mirrorball + Being Labeled as a 'Polarizing Character' on the "Bachelor" + A Solution for Internet Trolls

Summary

The Bobby Bones Show: BOBBYCAST

Episode: Kaitlyn Bristowe on DWTS Trauma + Manifesting a Win By Sleeping with a Mirrorball + Being Labeled as a 'Polarizing Character' on the "Bachelor" + A Solution for Internet Trolls
Air Date: November 30, 2025
Host: Bobby Bones
Guest: Kaitlyn Bristowe

---

Episode Overview

In this heartfelt and candid episode, Bobby Bones sits down with Kaitlyn Bristowe—known for her runs on "The Bachelor," "The Bachelorette," and her victorious turn on "Dancing with the Stars" (DWTS). Together, they unpack the emotional intensity and lasting impact of reality television, share war stories from their time on DWTS, and discuss the challenges of public perception, internet trolls, and self-worth. The episode is rich with vulnerability, laughter, and strikingly honest reflections on fame, performance, trauma, and the pursuit of self-acceptance.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Meeting Each Other and Setting the Stage

• Bobby and Kaitlyn joke about not remembering the times they've "met," leading to a warm rapport for an honest conversation about reality TV trauma.
  • (05:05) Bobby: "I want to talk about Dancing with the Stars, of course...one of the greatest experiences of my life."
  • (06:00) Kaitlyn: "We’ve come into contact, I would have felt like a real dick if you’d have been like we had an hour..."

2. The Emotional Toll of DWTS: Trauma, Validation, and Aftermath

• Both share stories of DWTS as an unexpectedly grueling, all-encompassing experience, mentally and physically.
  • Kaitlyn notes the need for constant validation, and the crash when the show ends.
    • (09:38) Kaitlyn: "I didn’t realize during filming how much I needed all this validation all the time…and then it’s just all done."
  • Bobby recounts the emotional impact of being named the “most surprising win” by host Tom Bergeron—hurting more because he respected Tom.
    • (08:07) Bobby: "When he did that, it hurt my feelings so much. Hurt your feelings because you love him."

3. The Path to DWTS: Obstacles and Manifestation

• Kaitlyn details her years-long struggle to finally join DWTS, despite having a dance background and a professional ballerina mother. She was initially denied by "The Bachelor" creator, and only got her shot years later, during COVID.
  • (25:40) Kaitlyn: "I quit dancing at 25 because I wasn’t good enough...I felt like I failed...I would hold a fake mirrorball when I slept and manifest, I was crazy."
• Kaitlyn’s win felt redemptive, finally getting to achieve her dream after being denied.
  • (25:42) Kaitlyn: "It meant everything to me."

4. The Harshness of Internet Trolls and Toxic Fandom

• Both discuss the unique toxicity of “hardcore fans,” and the ways algorithms amplify negativity.
  • (28:09) Bobby: "Mostly you see the bad because the algorithm puts out what gets engagement…and you know what gets engagement? People saying negative things."
  • (31:45) Kaitlyn (on haters): "You just almost want to punch them in the face...that’s a show right there—to go out and find people who are trolls and then make them do what you do."

5. Mental Health: Pressure, Vulnerability, & Therapy

• Mental health struggles from the reality TV grind are explored; Kaitlyn and Bobby trade stories about therapy, self-awareness, and performance-based worth.
  • (47:04) Kaitlyn: "My worth really came from performance and dance and how I looked and how I came across—not like who I was inside."
  • (49:44) Bobby: "I'm excellent at performative vulnerability...it's all true, but if I'm doing it and I think I'm doing it for a larger reason..."

6. Navigating Labels: Being ‘Polarizing’ on The Bachelor

• Kaitlyn was painted as the “raunchy, sexualized, edgy Canadian with tattoos,” highlighting how editing crafts reality TV personas.
  • (36:43) Kaitlyn: "I was like the raunchy, sexualized, edgy Canadian with tattoos who swore a lot and talked about sex...that is a small part of me."
• She faced death threats and vicious internet backlash, but DWTS fans were more welcoming.
  • (69:52) Kaitlyn: "I was so hated as the Bachelorette that I got death threats...and I just got torn apart just for being myself..."

7. Pain and Perseverance: Injuries and Determination on DWTS

• Both competitors describe pushing through significant physical pain—Bobby with weekly arm injections after injuring himself, Kaitlyn with injuries and shooting up her ankles.
  • (21:44) Kaitlyn: "The doctor told me I should stop because I had tendonitis in both ankles, my ribs and everything, and I was like, yeah right."
  • (22:24) Bobby: "I tore my shoulder...I found a doctor, he shot me up every week...now it’s just sore if it rains."

8. Coping with Winning—and the Guilt of Success

• Bobby struggles with sending his mirrorball trophy back to the network, feeling the win is unfairly tainted. Kaitlyn says the trophy symbolizes hard work, and urges Bobby to take it back.
  • (29:45) Bobby: "That's the only thing I've ever done where I purposefully just tried hard...and then for people to go, 'We think you're less than'—that was my association with that trophy."
  • (74:40) Kaitlyn: "You did work so hard for that, and it doesn’t matter what people want to take away from you—they can’t take that away from you."

9. Family, Backgrounds, and What Drives Them

• Both reflect on their childhoods and what motivates them:
  • Bobby: Grew up in poverty, with addicted parents—he never drinks; his drive is rooted in insecurity and fear of being “less than.”
  • Kaitlyn: Her self-worth was tied to performing and being the best, even as her parents were loving.
  • (45:43) Bobby: "My whole career is based off of fear—fear of being seen."
  • (46:08) Kaitlyn: "My worth was always on performing and winning and being the best..."

10. Manifestation and Signs

• Kaitlyn shares about manifesting her DWTS win and meaningful “signs” (like blinking lights) she asks for from the universe—especially during hard times.
  • (71:53) Kaitlyn: "[In my lowest moment] I smelled my grandma...the lights went out in the bathroom...and that's my sign for guidance, blinking lights or flashing lights."

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On DWTS Trauma (09:38) — Kaitlyn:
  "I didn’t realize during filming how much I needed all this validation all the time…and then it’s just all done."
• On Public Perception (08:07) — Bobby:
  "When he did that, it hurt my feelings so much. Hurt your feelings because you love him."
• On Being Denied DWTS (25:15) — Kaitlyn:
  "I'm really sick of people wanting fame after my show, and you can focus on your relationship that you just had from the show instead."
• On Perseverance (25:42) — Kaitlyn:
  "I would hold a fake mirrorball when I slept and manifest—I was crazy...it meant everything to me."
• On Toxic Fans (28:09) — Bobby:
  "The algorithm puts out what gets engagement and you know what gets engagement? People saying negative things."
• On Trophy Regret (29:00) — Bobby:
  "I sent the mirrorball back, I kind of regret it...someone reached out to me from the network and they said they would give it back if I want."
• On Labels & Editing (36:43) — Kaitlyn:
  "I was the raunchy, sexualized, edgy Canadian with tattoos who swore a lot and talked about sex...that is a small part of me."
• On Manifestation and Signs (71:53) — Kaitlyn:
  "I always ask for blinking lights or flashing lights as a sign...and I smelled my grandma, and the lights went out in the bathroom..."

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment / Topic | Timestamp | |------------------------------|---------------| | Introduction & transitions | 03:09–06:10 | | Meeting each other & rapport | 05:05–06:10 | | DWTS Trauma & Validation | 07:08–10:16 | | Being Approached for DWTS | 10:16–12:08 | | Mental & Physical Toll | 21:41–22:26 | | Path to DWTS for Kaitlyn | 22:35–25:42 | | COVID Season & Winning DWTS | 32:00–33:48 | | Online Trolls & Superfans | 27:42–31:45 | | Therapy & Self-worth | 45:22–52:26 | | DWTS Pro Superlatives | 18:57–20:56 | | Labels on The Bachelor | 36:43–37:20 | | Most Vulnerable Moments | 67:50–73:54 | | Signs & Manifestation | 71:49–73:54 | | Closing encouragements | 74:40–75:20 |

---

Episode Tone

The tone is warm, honest, and self-deprecating, with both Bobby and Kaitlyn openly discussing insecurities, setbacks, and triumphs. Humor and empathy are interwoven throughout, making space for both laughter and vulnerability.

---

Takeaway

This episode is a masterclass in honest conversation about the cost of chasing dreams in the public eye, the complexity of reality TV, and the enduring struggle to honor one's authentic self amid external pressures. For listeners who have only viewed these stars through the lens of curated entertainment, this episode reveals the human stories beneath the spectacle—and offers comfort to anyone navigating public criticism, self-doubt, or the search for meaning after the “win.”

Transcript

[A]

This is an iheart podcast guaranteed human.

[B]

Hey it's bobby bones here have you ever tried planning a trip for a group it can be challenging one person wants a hotel with a pool another wants a vacation rental with a giant kitchen and someone else wants free wi fi you know on booking dot com you can find a stay that works for all of them hotels and rentals whatever you need it makes the seemingly impossible group trip totally possible find exactly what you are booking for booking dot com booking yeah that's booking dot com booking yeah.

[C]

Hear that that's what it.

[A]

Sounds like when you plant more trees.

[C]

Than you harvest work done by thousands of working forest professionals like adam a district forest manager who works to protect.

[B]

Our forests from fires keeping the forest fire resistant synonymous with keeping a forest healthy and we do that through planting more than we harvest and mitigate those risks through active management it's a long.

[A]

Term commitment visit workingforestsinitiative dot com to.

[C]

Learn more life gets messy spills stains and kid chaos but with anove cleaning up is easy our sofas are fully machine washable inside and out so you never have to stress about messes again made with liquid and stain resistant fabrics that means fewer stains and more peace of mind designed for real life our sofas feature changeable fabric covers allowing you to refresh your style anytime need flexibility our modular design lets you rearrange your sofa effortlessly perfect for cozy apartments or spacious homes plus they're earth friendly and built to last that's why over two hundred thousand happy customers have made the switch get early access to black friday pricing right now sofas start at just six hundred and ninety nine dollars visit washablesofas dot com now and bring home a sofa made for life that's washablesofas dot com offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply this message is brought to you by apple card apple card members can earn unlimited daily cash back on everyday purchases wherever they shop this means you could be earning daily cash on just about anything like a slice of pizza from your local.

[A]

Pizza place or a latte from the.

[C]

Corner coffee shop apply for apple card in the wallet app to see your credit limit offer in minutes subject to credit approval apple card issued by goldman.

[A]

Sachs bank usa salt lake city branch.

[C]

Terms and more at applecard dot com.

[B]

With black friday savings at the home depot you can get up to one thousand four hundred dollars off plus get free delivery on select innovative appliances like ge profile add a touch of ease to your holiday with the all in one combo to wash and dry your laundry in one machine and refrigerators with built in convenient feature features like the dual dispense auto fill water pitcher shop black friday savings on select ge profile appliances plus get free delivery now at the home depot free delivery on appliance purchases of three hundred ninety six dollars or more offer valid eleven five through twelve three us only see store online for details.

[A]

Dita called me and she goes you might want to pull over and i just started hysterically bawling she was like if you can yet another positive you're out of the competition and i was like googling how to get fake like tests done.

[B]

Episode five hundred and fifty eight with kaitlyn bristowe kaitlin has a very popular podcast called off the vine with kaitlyn bristowe which you can listen to every tuesday and thursday and we put the youtube channel in the notes here but i'll say this kaitlyn bristowe she was one of the people on the bachelor then she was the bachelorette she won season twenty nine of dancing with the stars with artem and we talked a lot about dancing with the stars i don't know when you're hearing this but when we're posting this it is the day of the finale of dancing with the stars and we just kind of talked through how difficult it was for both of us for different reasons one of the things that i'm shocked by i hate spoiling stuff in the early part but that her mom was a professional ballerina which i thought was crazy it was wild that's wild that's like your dad's a former quarterback for the vikings like to do that to be at that level you've got to be one so disciplined but the amount of work and the athleticism that goes into that's crazy so i hope you check it out hope you listen to all of it it's also up on our youtube channel which is obbybones channel she also has launched a scrunchie line called do edit that's it dude when you get a scrunchie line you know you made it is that that thing that it's like a circle yeah the thing in the and it goes over a ponytail yeah and a wine brand called spade and sparrows here she is caitlin bristow caitlin we haven't met but i feel like i we have mutual people one that i really love who loves you oh yes so i kind of feel told you i feel comfortable in this setting talking about what we're about to talk about.

[A]

Yes wait also we have met so.

[B]

I i'm not memorable wait what so before you came in one of my friends said have you met caitlyn and i said no you met twice that's not true that can't be true it.

[A]

Is true i played in the like celebrity baseball tournament like eight years that.

[B]

Doesn'T count there's too much that doesn't.

[A]

Count okay that doesn't count and then two years ago you walked into oku and i was at the bar and we just quickly said hello like i know we've never met but but that's not a real meeting okay fine then we haven't met yeah we've not had.

[B]

Like a conversation because celebrity softball game there's there's it's too much stimulus it's over i'm overstimulated too many people i want to win the game people are fighting florida georgia line wants to beat each other up all that stuff's happening at that so okay so we have we've come into contact that's that's yes.

[A]

We'Ve come into contact i would have.

[B]

Felt like a real dick if you'd.

[A]

Have been like we had an hour.

[B]

Yeah we at the cmas we hung out backstage heart to heart we had.

[A]

Coffee for an hour one day we.

[B]

Talked about our feelings you just flew.

[A]

Back in i did last night that's why my the bags under my eyes are begging which i'm just being such an insecure little weirdo today because usually i'm just like whatever i'll own it i'm tired but the fact is when i get my face beat up with glam and i feel like it ages me i had a meltdown i haven't been home in so long i am like a crazy person when i don't sleep and so i'm just you're gonna help me get out of this funk.

[B]

Well when you came in you had mentioned you almost melted down because of some glam and i was like no you look you don't look over made.

[A]

Up well i i have an event after so i'm like i needed my glam done and then i was like well i'll be on camera anyways and then i looked in the mirror i went just feels a bit much i.

[B]

Want to give you total autonomy by the way you do a great job on your podcast thank you so i want to give you total autonomy during this show if there's anything that you're like oh you know what might be interesting to add because i want to talk about dancing with the stars of course i love talking about it i have such a great relationship most of my relationship with it is awesome yeah one of the greatest experiences of my.

[A]

Life okay i was i was going.

[B]

To ask you it's been soured by the hardcore fans of the show and mostly we can just start here i had a minor you talking about meltdowns i had a minor meltdown about a week and a half ago because tom bergeron who i love yes still love okay loved then yep i was so surprised at his reaction to the question of who's one of the most surprising eliminations they didn't even ask him about me right now they said the question like who won that's surprising i'm all here i'm the most surprising ever yes yeah i know that i have a cool title i have total awareness of my entire situation but it wasn't and he was like well i won't answer that question but i will tell you what is the most surprising win and it wasn't even that he just did the facial he was like you know when bobby won ouch and i'm like oh my god yeah like it hurt.

[A]

My feelings so much hurt your feelings.

[B]

Yeah i have a job where i give opinions all the time whenever i create controversy which i do at times sometimes manufactured yes sometimes not yeah i'm good because i know i've signed up.

[A]

For this yeah you get it when.

[B]

He did that it hurt my feelings.

[A]

I'M so sorry that would hurt my.

[B]

Feelings too because that was somebody that was like man he was so like helpful to me during the show because he knew i was struggling did he say ouch oh yeah have you not.

[A]

Seen the clip no i show me the clip because i heard everything that i saw so much on online about it and i knew there's the whole thing about sending the mirror ball back but i never actually saw the clip even though i was there i'm just.

[B]

Gonna hand you my just start this tiktok over slide it to you and turn the volume up okay and so it's me talking about it but you'll see him okay so that's the tom stuff but it was just a facial expression and also i just had foot surgery so i was a bit i was on pain pills oh oh don't.

[A]

Do anything online on pain pills yeah.

[B]

I did but it popped off so i'm kind of happy i did it.

[A]

Sorry that table is way too long.

[B]

But i like i still love tom but that hurt my feelings so bad.

[A]

Why i hurt your feelings because you love him and that hurt my feelings.

[B]

For sure over the last i think it's been seven seasons i love talking to you about this because you won you did the show it's like i've you were good but still there's like trauma bonding like we did this we know this the rigors yes of even having to get feedback all the time.

[A]

Online well and then i think what people also don't talk about is after the fact like i didn't realize during filming how much i needed all of this validation all the time and they're constantly validating but critiquing and then you want to impress them and then you want to show up the next week and be like look i listened to you and and then it's just all done and you're like yeah it is over quick yeah yeah and then it's so depressing i felt like a i felt like i don't know like a hangover from it after but yeah during it's just it's it's so i don't think they ever warn people what you're signing up for because you're like a nice check and then you see the work that you do you're like oh.

[B]

Wow i in that video i will say this again it's not that i didn't want to go on the show i had no intention of going i didn't want to go on the show.

[A]

How were you approached i was on.

[B]

American idol for four years so they.

[A]

That'S how they found you yeah they.

[B]

Find the abc is like hey we're going to promote american idol so go over to that makes sense this is the exact conversation hey we need to promote idol because idol had just come back to abc i did season one they just signed me to a multi year deal for season two and three we want you to go over to dancing with the stars and you haven't danced ever you'll last four weeks max and you'll be back in time for the show right and i remember saying to them i've never danced that sounds fun but i don't if i go i don't plan to last four weeks like i don't do anything without fully going as hard as i can i'm the same and they're like and so there was a time too during the show where they had to like decide if they were going to pull me off the show because idol was already filming and they were paying me a ton of money at idol to do not be on idol but it's don't.

[A]

You share the same stage space with.

[B]

Idol there yes ballroom but i was also working full time yeah my radio show while in la oh so you didn't and then training all there was.

[A]

No time so how'd you do it.

[B]

I don't know i don't know but the controversy that happened to it's not even a controversy i admitted that i said cheated i didn't cheat but you know they give us rules on how long you can dance with your partner right i was so behind that i would go and rent a studio by myself and put the phone up and watch practice and just try to do it better so i could get to practice the next day and so you really were committed though never been more committed to anything except my wife wow that i was so committed because.

[A]

I.

[B]

Was i wasn't even the and this is with total respect to grocery store joe during the season i wasn't the.

[A]

Bad one yeah yeah he was bad.

[B]

He was the one that he was the one that everybody was like we can't believe he's lasting we can't it wasn't me yeah and the fact that i'm that guy now and i'm known for that is crazy but i remember every year since around october november i just get crushed in my algorithm because anybody who's bad now gets compared to.

[A]

Me does that hurt your feelings wears.

[B]

On me yeah so hurts my feelings no but it wears on me i get that i never watched my dances back one single time until about two months ago and i watched them all back and recorded me watching them and how did it go i i wasn't as bad as everybody made me feel.

[A]

Really yeah oh that's nice yep so did you what did you get emotional watching not like cry but were you like feeling i was proud i was.

[B]

Proud of myself in a different way that's awesome i wasn't as bad as i was made to believe i was i'm not good by the way and i don't think i'm good sure but i what you well like i think buzz aldrin did the show or something i don't know who that is he's astronaut and he was like one hundred he's like one hundred ten okay i felt like people told me i was.

[A]

Him oh i'm gonna have to go back and watch your dances because i watched your season who i can't even remember who your partner was sharna sharna.

[B]

Yes of course who was your partner.

[A]

Artem oh yeah was he on your.

[B]

Season yes i liked artem he didn't.

[A]

Say a lot he's okay outside of the ballroom he is like a little teddy bear he's such a sweetie and in the ballroom he is very intense but i feel like that's like the russian culture yeah the two things i.

[B]

Learned most about russians and mormons while doing the show i'm basically a mormon just not the religious part i'm the most mormon person i've ever met except for the religious part wait tell me more i don't drink i don't do any i don't take no chemicals nothing.

[A]

Really yeah have you always been like.

[B]

That oh yeah i've never had a.

[A]

Drink of alcohol ever in your life.

[B]

It'S my mormon culture no you're actually i'm confused i've never had a drink of alcohol no but you're not actually mormon no okay but i'm saying like i'm as close to mormon except for the religious part of it yeah yeah yeah yeah interesting yeah so i learned about mormons cuz i grew up in arkansas we didn't have oh yeah there was not a mormon population yeah and then russians we also didn't have a large russian contingent in the state of arkansas makes sense let's take a quick pause for a message from our sponsor what if you could give a gift that brings your favorite holiday traditions and memories to life every single day well with aura frame you can think about the photos from decorating the tree baking cookies or that yearly family trip now imagine all those moments cycling through an awesome frame instead of buried in your phone what's really cool about the aura frame is that if you're gifting it to someone you can pre upload pictures before it even ships pictures or videos so this year i'm planning on sending one to my mom i'm going to take pictures of my kids all the food that we make at the house i want to send it to aura they're going to put it in that picture frame so when my mom gets it in texas all the pictures are going to be in there which is really awesome you can't wrap togetherness but you can frame it and for a limited time visit aura frames dot com and get forty five dollars off aura's best selling carver mat frames named number one by wirecutter by using promo code bobbycast at checkout that's aura frames dot com a u r a promo code bobbycast this exclusive black friday cyber monday deal is their best of the year so order now before it ends support the show by mentioning us at checkout terms and conditions apply time for a.

[C]

Sofa upgrade introducing annabe sofas where designer style meets budget friendly prices every anibe sofa is modular allowing you to rearrange your space effortlessly perfect for both small and large spaces anabe is the only machine washable sofa inside and out say goodbye to stains and messes with liquid and stain resistant fabrics that make cleaning easy liquids simply slide right off designed for custom comfort our high resilience foam lets you choose between a sink in feel or a supportive memory foam blend plus our pet friendly stain resistant fabrics ensure your sofa stays beautiful for years don't compromise quality for price visit washablesofas dot com to upgrade your living space today sofas start at just dollar six hundred ninety nine with no risk returns and a thirty day money back guarantee get early access to black friday now the biggest sale of the year can save you up to sixty percent off plus free shipping and free returns shop now at washablesofas dot com offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may.

[B]

Apply hey it's bobby bones planning a trip always sounds fun until you actually sit down to do it because suddenly everybody's got demands you've got one friend who wants to be right in the middle of the action then another who only cares if place has a gym because vacations are basically just leg day and someone else who wants total peace and quiet as if they're on a meditation retreat that's exactly why you should use booking dot com because no matter how picky or particular the group gets booking dot com has a stay that works for everybody hotels vacation rentals big places small places close to the beach close to the mountains close to nothing at all all across the us booking dot com really does make it easy to plan a trip so instead of stressing just scroll through until you find your perfect stay that checks everybody's boxes it's there and booking dot com has it find exactly what you're booking for booking dot com booking yeah that's booking dot com booking yeah this message is.

[C]

Brought to you by apple card apple card members can earn unlimited daily cash back on everyday purchases wherever they shop this means you could be earning daily cash on just about anything like a slice of pizza from your local pizza.

[A]

Place or a latte from the corner.

[C]

Coffee shop apply for apple card in the wallet app to see your credit limit offer in minutes subject to credit approval apple card issued by goldman sachs.

[A]

Bank usa salt lake city branch terms.

[C]

And more at applecard dot com limu.

[B]

Emu and doug here we have the limu emu in its natural habitat helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with liberty mutual fascinating it's accompanied by his natural ally doug uh limu.

[A]

Is that guy with the binoculars watching.

[B]

Us cut the camera they see us only pay for what you need at libertymutual dot com liberty liberty liberty liberty savings fairy unwritten by liberty mutual insurance company and affiliates excludes massachusetts and we're back on the bobby cast oh do this game with me okay superlatives okay best allaround of of the pros daniella see i didn't have daniella oh my.

[A]

I could watch her dance sometimes i'm like am i gay for her like i'm like so i thought that way.

[B]

With val i thought that way with val like am i gay for him.

[A]

Yeah like there's just something about their swag the way they move how they can do it the fact that they can like put aside that they look like they're madly in love with whoever their partner is and they compartmentalize it because that is their job and they just know that chemistry translates to the audience and i yeah val and daniela.

[B]

I don't know daniella her choreography is.

[A]

Awesome amazing.

[B]

I'M gonna go for me because i didn't put any restrictions or any rules i'm gonna go emma was my favorite she's the best like it nobel human peace prize award agreed i would have mental i had troubles during my season i think we all did at some point and she would step in and and be like i wonder let me help you i wonder what.

[A]

That would have felt like for me because i artem was going through some stuff at home while we had our season and so i if i cried he'd be like you're wasting my time and i agree with him i was wasting time because we really wanted to win and i would always tell him and he knew if i said i had to go blow my nose that means i was going to the bathroom to cry for five minutes and get it out of my system and come back and be ready but emma i just got to work with her when i was dancing with andy two weeks ago and i was like she is the most patient fun kind a plus.

[B]

Every in every way oh my god.

[A]

She'S just wonderful and the way i saw her work with andy was i just i just yeah she is an a plus human being i reached out.

[B]

To andy and just for the mental health part of it yeah because he started to get it yeah and i was just like you probably don't need this you're the dude but everybody thinks everybody's okay unless they ask yeah that's.

[A]

True and i bet he needed that.

[B]

And i was just like hey if you need to talk about this mental health stuff like it's real on this show and so he hit me up again after was over and he was like dude thank you so much for that it's it's hard i was surprised.

[A]

How much he opened up to me on my podcast about mental health because again you're right you don't know until you ask and he just seems like this you know happy to be here humbled kind of guy but it really does once you get in it like the first week you're like what am i doing and then the next week you're like okay i'm kind of in and then week three four or five you're just like i need to be here this is my home now i am not going anywhere and you it just yeah all of your competitiveness comes out which obviously you're competitive i am so competitive i would have died on the stage what do you mean i.

[B]

Would have gone so hard yes i would have never left the building yes.

[A]

Yeah like at one point the doctor told me i should stop because i had tendinitis in both ankles and my ribs and everything and i was like.

[B]

Yeah right you know i love that because i tore my i fell on the first dance i tore my shoulder i came to the we'll just say a professional team doctor yeah and he said you're not going to hurt it worse but you're have to shoot it and i shot wasn't anything to do with abc or dancing with the stars yeah but i found a doctor yeah and he shot me up every week.

[A]

I did i did that in my ankle except it wasn't they they had it at the show and they were.

[B]

Fine with it yours was probably legit i was going i was using something i probably shouldn't have used you can't do every week yeah and he was like this this is going to hurt so and it helped oh my arm it felt like the greatest arm that's.

[A]

Ever been created still have injuries from.

[B]

That now it's it now it's just sore if it rains that kind of thing that's just age if it gets cloudy like it hurts when did you know you were going on oh my.

[A]

Gosh do you know the story about how i got on so i when i came off being the bachelorette the creator of the whole show he never really liked me i still don't think.

[B]

He really liked me of which show.

[A]

The bachelor and bachelorette he kind of made it known that he didn't like me like it wasn't a secret and so when i came off the show he crystals was the bachelor that i was on and he did dancing with the stars and then they called me and they said do you want to come on the show i freaked out because i danced my whole life which i know is also controversial with that show that i dance background but my mom was a professional ballerina it was like my dream your mom was a.

[B]

Pro ballerina that is so cool yeah.

[A]

She was one of the original members of the alberta ballet company in canada and so i and i just i quit dancing at twenty five because i wasn't good enough and i like chose to not get any education after high school because i was like committed to wanting to dance and so i felt like i failed as a dancer and it was just always in the back of my mind and when i went on the bachelor i was like maybe i could go on dancing with the stars and like make my dreams come true and so they asked me and i remember just sobbing i was so excited i had the contract i had it signed and and i was so new to tv i don't know anything about what i signed for the bachelor i just was scribbling my initials on everything went here you go and so they were like no you can't do it and the creator of the show said to me i'm really sick of people wanting fame after my show and you can focus on your relationship that you just had from the show instead and i was i don't know how they didn't sue me because i went i took it to twitter and i was like sexist blah blah blah chris soul's got to do it all the men have gotten to do it they haven't had a girl and then all of a sudden hannah brown became the bachelorette and then she got to go on dancing with the stars and so everyone was tweeting me or reaching out and being like are you she went on before you did yeah and i was like i was like i'm not mad i'm happy i spoke up to say like why doesn't he let women go on the show and why have all the men gotten to and so i was happy for her and then it was covid and they were doing like a bachelor goat show where they were doing the best seasons and recapping them with chris harrison and so chris harrison was like will you jump on a zoom with me to recap your show i said yes and at the end he goes well i have a really important question for you and i was like what and he went well i could still cry he was like do you want to go on dancing with the stars and i i was just in pure shock like i just my reaction was just and i i couldn't even speak you didn't know it.

[B]

Was coming at all no idea and.

[A]

It was so long after i'd been on the show that i was like i feel like a washed up reality star at this point like you really want me to go on and then to win it felt like such a full circle because i'd always wanted to be looked at as a dancer and it was just so exciting for me i always tell my canadian i'm i'm canadian and so i always say it's like it's like somebody not making it to the nhl being really close but not making it and then ten years later getting asked to play in the stanley cup finals and winning and knowing what that feels like i was like this is my stanley cup so it.

[B]

Matt it really mattered to you oh.

[A]

So much it was again like the you know how it is the whole experience was just so incredible and even though i was like in the fetal position crying every night and my bones were broken and i was just like falling apart i was like i can't wait till the next day and i can't wait to make it another week and i'm like i will win that i would hold a fake mirror ball when i slept and i would manifest i was crazy so yes it meant.

[B]

Everything to me my favorite memories are going with like emma and sasha were married at the time yes with like emma sasha even alan going to air one yeah because that's where we would go right there always and just like that's what we'd go get some food before we went back and like it is such everybody just kind of becomes.

[A]

A unit it is such family vibes like even going back last week which i haven't been on the show in four or five years everyone is just acts like you've never left it just feels like such a family over there it was why didn't you come to the twentieth oh i tried to go.

[B]

I did it was the thursday before the tuesday of the show and i was having surgery and i told my doctor hey i'm supposed to go to la yeah and he's like unless you want to get a blood clot in your leg oh yeah you're not going to la i was very sad i.

[A]

Couldn'T go because every everything would have been so different as if they would do you think he would have oh because he didn't say it in the ballroom no he didn't so he said it on an interview after yeah it still would have went the same way.

[B]

An interview leading up to because he came back that episode yeah i also love tom bergeron even still did he.

[A]

Have you talked to him like personally since stop i was gonna say shut up that's mean shut up okay shut.

[B]

Up yeah no i haven't really why i don't feel bad about any of this controversy is that i never said anything negative about anybody there have been times i've said things and i regret it and i'm like oops yeah shouldn't have said that i i have nothing negative to say about the show i've said things at times about how toxic the extremely hardcore fans are of that show but that can happen with sports teams too oh like i fight with freaking texas longhorn fans like crazy like if you're passionate it's toxic it's true.

[A]

The the fans like they're so loyal to the show i i mean even bachelor nation fans like man they think you are a character on a show and they pigeonhole you into this one thing and they will die on that hill that that's who you are and they do the same thing with dancing with the stars you write sports anything like for for women bachelor is their super bowl like that's it's it is and and fans are crazy good and bad and you need both yeah and.

[B]

Mostly you see the bad because the algorithm puts out what gets engagement and you know what gets engagement people saying.

[A]

Negative things yeah it's so true the the algorithm really does me dirty sometimes i'm like why are you showing me.

[B]

This do you have you watched your dances back do you watch them back like every day yeah i'm so proud of me when i don't i never want anybody to think i like hate anything about it yeah i get upset a sect it that's so fair and it i was made to feel i was really bad at dancing which i was bad and then i got to be okay but my triumph is vegas put out the odds before the show i was last really yeah i there i have like the screenshot of like when vegas put it out and you could bet i was dead last that's.

[A]

Even better i love an underdog story but also do you are you a little sad you sent the mirrorball back like are you like actually i do want it back because you are proud.

[B]

Of a little i did the opry a few days later and i was playing the opera and i was playing a song yeah i was like yeah i sent the mirror ball back i kind of regret it but someone has reached out to me from the network.

[A]

And they said they would give it.

[B]

Back it's whatever i want oh what.

[A]

Do you want i don't know well i feel like you should take it back coming from somebody who i react with emotion a lot and i've been in therapy for it for about ten years to like try and remove myself and take a deep breath before i do anything i still find it very hard and i get myself in trouble a lot with that but that is something that it's like look at all these things you have behind you like that's it's you deserved that and it doesn't matter what tom said i'm it can hurt your feelings it's not just.

[B]

About tom i know the association sometimes was like i look at that and i'm like that's the only thing i've ever done where i purposefully just tried hard yeah worked hard tried to make people better around me i i would help other contestants for their on their camera time i'm like guys i know you're working on all the dance but you know what's going to pay off is you talking to the camera so so i would like work with some of the some of the other contestants there like i did everything i could to help and then for people to go we we think you're less than that was my association with that trophy there are things where i'm i get it where i'm like people don't like me because i i say this or feel this way signed up for that this is the only thing where i was like the underdog who and then that's held against me and so that association kind of it soured it a.

[A]

Bit i mean i will say even when nev schulman was the runner up on my show and sometimes i would like go and look at his comments and it doesn't even to this day he'll like post something if it has anything to do with dance with the stars every comment is how he should have won over me and i'm like.

[B]

I'M so glad that happens to you.

[A]

Too oh yeah because it's so it's such a prideful thing that winning that mirrorball and nobody will ever understand how hard you work or what you do behind the scenes because it's such a joyful show and they show snippets when you're literally grinding in there for eight hours a day you don't get a day off you don't even get a sunday off camera blocking is monday and then or sunday and then it's the rehearsal and then show you are so mentally physically drained that like nobody will ever understand unless you do it and to do it that many weeks in a row to make it to the end and have people question or not like that you won it you just almost want to punch them in the face because you're like you do it that's a show right there to go out and find people who are trolls and then make them do what you do like sit in that chair and hold a podcast and or go do one dance class i thought just punch.

[B]

Them in the face i was going to sign up for that show that's the job just find a troll and punch him in the face that would.

[A]

Be i mean that's that is a dream show for me to work on.

[B]

Yeah after i won i don't know what happened after you won that night yeah can you walk me through the.

[A]

Night yes it was very different from most things because i was in covid season oh that sucks so i didn't even have an audience i had a laugh button machine and a clap button machine and there was no one there and we weren't allowed to hang out with each other and we weren't allowed to go in the room and help each other and we had to get tested every day and if you got covid you were out of the competition and and i was i got a false positive COVID test dita called me and she goes you might want to pull over and i just started hysterically bawling she was like if you get another positive you're out of the competition and this was week eight when i'm like in it and i was like no and i was like googling how to get fake like tests done you.

[B]

Can go to my doctor that was shooting me up given you the exact.

[A]

I should have gotten to your guy but i just i went and it was actually a false false positive i did three tests at the clinic it was all negative i got to go back but the the night that i won i i remember it was like everybody had to be six feet apart so we were like talking with like masks on and then after neve actually had people over and so we all went to party after but i just like sat with my mirror ball on the rooftop of this hotel staying at and drank wine and neva's like oh you're not gonna come over you're too good to come over and i was like fine i'll show up i went there nobody was there it was just drunk neve and i was like did everybody leave and he was like yeah and i was like why am i why don't you tell me everyone went home and he's like because i think we should do a bit online about like it's blah blah blah for me and so he was like all bitter and he was drunk and he wanted to do this video for social media that we did post and it ended up being funny but i still think.

[B]

He'S mad at me probably at what you didn't allow him to have right not you everybody likes you which is weird i'm gonna be honest think so yeah because most people hey i don't care i think people that have done your franchise yeah there's not universal love for really anybody else in from in town yeah like some of my closest friends especially two okay love you really as a as a huge because we haven't like spent any time i guess we met i was like what up high five yeah other than that yeah but because i was like i'm gonna talk about it with somebody i was.

[A]

So honored you asked me and they.

[B]

Both were like she's the greatest person and that's not often said about people i think those shows change people too.

[A]

Absolutely and not just your show because.

[B]

I did again i did four years of american idol so i have a different kind of experience with reality television but no people like as a person spoke very highly of you that means.

[A]

A lot thank you for sharing that with me because i sometimes i'm like yes because i'm canadian i'm just nice.

[B]

You guys are really nice but i.

[A]

Am also very spicy but it's genuine like i will stand up for what i believe in and sometimes people like i'm very like polarizing online but i think if people know me they know my heart so i'm okay with that but it is it i always thought it was so crazy when i came off bachelorette i was so hated not by humans that knew me so i.

[B]

Didn'T i didn't watch yeah so i had what was your i'm going to say character because they do absolutely edit you to what they want you to.

[A]

Be oh i was like the raunchy sexualized did you go on as a.

[B]

Contestant first yes did you win no.

[A]

So i went on as a contestant and the bachelor guy he was he was a farmer and i was like i need him to know my humor right out of the limo so i went up to him and i was like i don't really know much about you like i know your name's chris and i know you're a farmer so i'd plow out of your field any day as a joke which by the way this was like ten years ago so i thought that was hilarious and he thought it was hilarious but they added it to make it seem like he was like oh god really and then i was like but he actually thought it was hilarious and i was like okay good he laughed and so then i just became like the edgy canadian with tattoos who swore a lot and talked about sex and that is a small part of me you have tattoos yes and then i was sent home there was three of us left i was very sure he was gonna pick me i was like he's obsessed with me he's definitely oh so you thought you'd win oh yeah he sent me home i was devastated and then the show's therapist was like are you really devastated or were you just in the bubble and i was like oh and then i came back and then they asked me to be the bachelorette and then they put two bachelorettes on my season and the men got to decide who they wanted to be the.

[B]

Best so you finally so this is why this this sucks for you for two reasons one you finally are the one yeah except there's another one yeah and then you go to dancing with the stars yeah which is also awesome but then it's covid yeah like you got limited awesomeness in both the things that should have been one hundred awesome.

[A]

I know it was it was tough but i mean she the girl that i was pitted against was actually a friend so we didn't we tried to not take it so seriously but again i'm very competitive and it was more about like winning to me than like because i'm like if they pick her these just aren't guys for me but also like pick me because i'm i.

[B]

Need to win and that you're going to be the person and then you're not that's kind of a mind screw.

[A]

I know i i made sure i negotiated the hell out of my contract for that one because i was like if i go home night one i still better get paid something so you.

[B]

Didn'T get with the dude in one please excuse my ignorance no i because i don't expect you know anything about me no i didn't okay did you get with anybody from when you were the bachelorette did you marry anybody i.

[A]

Got engaged and i was with him sean booth do you know who that.

[B]

Is wait yes it has a gym.

[A]

Yes got it i was with him for three and a half years and in the contract for bachelorette if you if you stay together longer than two years you get to keep the ring so i still have the ring from that but we broke up and then i started dating another bachelor guy which was in my head i'm going it just felt you know when you like bond with people i guess it could be a trauma bond and you just.

[B]

Know what other people you know this.

[A]

Experience yeah so i was like oh i'll go for another bachelor guy great and you speak about like you were saying you know some people change from getting i always compare it to like a drug and people get a little taste of what it feels like to be famous from the bachelor the bachelorette and it really does change them and i've seen it happen so many times and it was really important to me going in even when i was like walking out of that limo i was like i'm i don't care if people hate me i'm gonna be myself i'm not gonna let this change me and i remember at the very end all of a sudden like all these interviews were happening and people were recognizing me and i was getting all these opportunities and i remember being so overwhelmed and i got very depressed because i just didn't know how to like function after being so manipulated and drinking so much and not sleeping and then picking this guy who was mad at me for sleeping with somebody else in the fantasy suites and i was just like in a really bad place and i just remember in that moment going just go back to being you just be you and everything will align with what you want in life if you're just yourself and you stay humble and i was always so important to me to not let it change me and my dad always says to me he's like i'm so proud of you and he goes it's not for all of your accomplishments he goes it's still because you're the same person just a more evolved version.

[B]

Of yourself why are you here in.

[A]

Nashville because sean lived here and so when we got engaged he came to vancouver where i was living and we stayed there for a few months and then we moved to nashville the bobby.

[B]

Cast we'll be right back.

[A]

Time for.

[C]

A sofa upgrade introducing annabe sofas where designer style meets budget friendly prices every anibe sofa is modular allowing you to rearrange your space effortlessly perfect for both small and large spaces anabe is the only machine washable sofa inside and out say goodbye to stains and messes with liquid and stain resistant fabrics that make cleaning easy liquids simply slide right off designed for custom comfort our high resilience foam lets you choose between a sink in feel or a supportive memory foam blend plus our pet friendly stain resistant fabrics ensure your sofa stays beautiful for years don't compromise quality for price visit washablesofas dot com to upgrade your living space today sofas start at just dollar six hundred ninety nine with no risk returns and a thirty day money back guarantee get early access to black friday now the biggest sale of the year can save you up to sixty percent off plus free shipping and free returns shop now at washablesofas dot com offers are subject to change and certain restrictions.

[B]

May apply hey it's bobby bones here you ever tried to plan a trip for a large group everybody has their own idea of what the vacation should look like one friend needs a backyard for their new puppy they bring everywhere another friend needs blackout curtains because waking up before ten am yeah that's not going to happen another friend insists on having a king sized bed even though they're happily single booking dot com totally gets it and let's be honest you're probably a bit picky too maybe you want a spot with a good view because what's the point if you can't look out the window and feel like you're somewhere new booking dot com makes juggling those seemingly impossible requests totally possible they've got hotels vacation rentals and every kind of stay you can imagine all across the us whether you're looking for space or style or just something that works for everybody booking dot com helps you get it right find exactly what you're booking for booking dot com booking yeah that's booking dot com booking yeah.

[C]

This message is brought to you by apple card apple card members can earn unlimited daily cash back on everyday purchases wherever they shop this means you could be earning daily cash on just about anything like a slice of pizza from your local pizza place or a latte from the corner coffee shop apply for apple card in the wallet app to see your credit limit offer in minutes subject to credit approval apple card issued by goldman sachs bank usa salt lake.

[A]

City branch terms and more at applecard.

[C]

Dot com.

[B]

And doug here we have the limu emu in its natural habitat helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with liberty mutual fascinating it's accompanied by his natural ally doug limu.

[A]

Is that guy with the binoculars watching.

[B]

Us cut the camera they see us only pay for what you need at libertymutual dot com liberty liberty liberty liberty savings ferry unwritten by liberty mutual insurance company and affiliates excludes massachusetts.

[C]

Hear that that's what it sounds like when you.

[A]

Plant more trees than you harvest work.

[C]

Done by thousands of working forest professionals like adam a district forest manager who works to protect our forests from fires.

[B]

Keeping the forest fire resistant synonymous with keeping the forest healthy and we do that through planting more than we harvest and mitigate those risks through active management it's a long term commitment visit working.

[C]

Forestsinitiative dot com to learn more.

[A]

This.

[B]

Is the bobby cast is this home.

[A]

Now yes i've been here for ten.

[B]

Years which is crazy oh oh you have been here a long time yes i've been here thirteen so around the.

[A]

Same so where you said again i forget where you said you grew up.

[B]

I grew up in arkansas arkansas right okay have you ever been there no.

[A]

But i really want to go to oh what's it called where the people who own walmart like bentonville bentonville you.

[B]

Want to go to that town i.

[A]

Do because my best friend moved there and she said it's they like redid the whole city like it's northwest arkansas.

[B]

Is awesome yeah yeah it's where also the university of arkansas is it's the best oh yeah yeah yeah yeah have you ever been to canada yeah toronto thought somebody was robbing me they were just giving me directions oh i was on my phone i was i can't find this restaurant and someone comes up behind me and i was like oh god and they were like we can help you and i was like you did this is the kindest i know.

[A]

People ever they really are like i whenever i go back home especially the province of alberta where i grew up and i feel like people it's just so boring there and there's really nothing to do and we call ourselves just prayer people where we would just have fun going out into the middle of a bush and just having some beers.

[B]

And like laughing that's small town rural.

[A]

Arkansas too is it yeah yeah i'm just that's crazy that you've never had a drink is there a reason or.

[B]

Is that personal both okay but i talk about it i mean it's personal but i've talked about it a lot oh okay i like that you don't know anything about me so i don't.

[A]

So yeah you don't have to feel.

[B]

Bad about knowing my mom had me she pregnant at fifteen okay she was an addict died in her forties my dad left when i was like five he's an addict he's still around not me i don't know him yeah so had addicted parents yeah that makes sense one that was never there one that was there but she even my mom left and i was adopted so it was just a lot of that and so early on i was like i don't want to do that well wow.

[A]

That could have went one of two.

[B]

Ways that's exactly right and it would have gone the other way for sure because i get addicted to everything that i do and i think some of it's insecurity because i want to prove that i'm worthy of course that makes.

[A]

So much sense it does i mean i was thinking that i never wanted to say it out loud but that i'm sure you've known that about yourself that makes a lot of sense and.

[B]

I talk about in therapy a lot well yeah my whole career is based off of fear fear scene yeah and i have had a great career and i grew up very poor and now i'm not yeah and so all the things are right but still there's still so much insecurity that really i have awareness it's not gone i just have awareness of it and that's the value of me going to therapy i relate.

[A]

To this very much not to the parents being like my dad actually was an addict he's thirty five years sober and my mom and they were just the most loving parents like that i could ever ask for but i felt like my worth really came from performance and dance and how i looked and how i came across and just not like who i was inside and so i grew up very much thinking like i had to look a certain way i had to be the best at dance i had to be the best i had to be the most popular girl at school and i would get praised for those kinds of things even though my parents still like really like i was a very unique kid i was i was very shy at first and then very outgoing and i had the most offside sense of humor i swear all the time i would drink all the time they just let me be who i was but my worth was always on performing and winning and being the best so i get that.

[B]

I don't so much enjoy winning as i hate losing because if i lose i feel like everybody thinks i'm less.

[A]

Than them yeah i'm the exact even even to a point where i've worked on this in therapy like i get competitive in relationships because i don't like to feel less than my partner which.

[B]

Is so silly i have a wife that is smarter than me and it's been really hard for me to deal with that because i've always been the smartest person yeah and that was different it's a weird thing to say both are both are weird that i was in this but yeah that's it's it's.

[A]

Weird being my therapist always says because i'm like well at least i'm self aware like i know when i'm being ridiculous i know when i'm being competitive i know when i'm being reactive i'm so self aware and and she goes i would say that's self reflective i don't know if you're self aware and i was like oh to quote tom bergeron out.

[B]

To quote tom bergeron oh gosh i found like because i did a lot of stand up yeah or would play music or would you know in the radio show not so much the radio show with like receiving praise in real time but i would go out and i think i only started performing to find love like some kind of love not romantic love but just any sort of love at all yeah like and it was like yeah like it's like i feel loved i'm funny i'm awesome yeah but then when it would really suck as you go back to your hotel room after a show you've just done a theater and you're like kind of alone again well it's.

[A]

The high highs and the low lows and you feel those very much i'm the same way i really feel i i being like content is weird for me i either want to be like yeah either i'm either like really low and like i'm not doing enough and i'm a failure or i'm really high and i go okay i love being here or i need to stay here.

[B]

How do you do with vulnerability i.

[A]

Okay again everyone that follows me online would say i'm the most vulnerable person people stop me and say thank you for being so vulnerable and then my therapist tells me that i'm terrible at it she goes you hate being vulnerable and i think i'm just good at being self reflective i think i'm good at i could talk about my insecurities all day long but i don't like sitting in discomfort which is also vulnerability so if there's like bad things happening or someone's in an argument with me or like someone wants to say i was dating someone and we got in a fight i want to just be like nope it's not happening and i'll go sleep and i'll ignore it and pretend it's not happening i have a really hard time sitting in discomfort so like yes and no to being vulnerable.

[B]

Similar i've i'm excellent at performative vulnerability which is true yeah it's all true but if i'm doing it and i think i'm doing it for a larger reason man my first book ate me up because i put it all out and that was not that hard for me but when one person would want to talk to me about it one on one or like even especially with like my wife or like a close friend i'm really bad there the same yeah really bad there yeah i'm not very good at being vulnerable one on.

[A]

One i wonder what that is because i'm the exact same and i don't like performative always sounds so bad to me because i'm not gonna name his name people will know anyways but one of my exes like just felt very performative to me and i can't stand when people just can't be who they are and and to me i sometimes i would podcast about vulnerability and i'd like do research more on it to talk like i would have more knowledge about and then i'm like am i doing this to get something and to feel connection with other people or am i doing it because i really want to talk about it and i've had to check myself so many times to make sure i'm not being performative but you're right that's a real thing and it's true both can be true yeah.

[B]

Yeah two things can be true at.

[A]

Once that's i used to call myself a walking contradiction but then my therapist how many times drink every time i say my therapist would say no you're just like a walking image of two things can be true at once you you hold those two you do that and i'm like that's a good point i really do and i think people always think like when people are like are you happy i'm like what hour is it i don't know being happy is you're supposed to as a human being feel a range of emotions daily so am i happy right now in this moment sure but like that's small talk for you i guess i don't.

[B]

Have a range what do you mean my battle has been my emotion is this all the time really i don't ever get sad but i never get that happy now my wife has changed me at like my core at that because she comes from a very healthy family she knows how to love she knows how to say it she knows how to show it she knows how to receive it i'm the worst at receiving it wow because i never really felt like i deserved it like if they really got to know the real me they wouldn't love me has always been kind of but that makes so.

[A]

Much sense with what you've been through.

[B]

In your life so it's just here because i feel like if i know you have no expectations i can't get hurt the problem is if you don't have the ability to go down you don't have the ability to go up right you can it's a pendulum yeah like you can only go as high as you do low and so i go too far well and i think both are different kinds of of i don't say problems but different kinds of bills we pay to work through with.

[A]

Our therapists yes my gosh she makes a great living off of me let's.

[B]

Do more superlatives for dancing with the stars yay because i didn't i didn't come up with these but i think this is fun and you can throw one back at me too but who was like the coolest pro pasha why.

[A]

Daniela'S husband there there is something just so did you ever meet him they came in after us okay so pasha is just so sure of himself and his relationship with daniela they have so much love and respect for one another he is so patient and kind he's very undercover funny and the way he dances is just so smooth and cool and i just if you're a dancer i feel like a lot of dancers feel like the need to be on at all times and pasha just doesn't feel that way to me he's like even when he's on he still it feels like he's just himself and that's what i think is cool about him.

[B]

I'M gonna give mind a vow for a couple reasons okay one he freaking plays the violin at a high level.

[A]

I know that's the coolest thing and.

[B]

It'S two things that traditionally men wouldn't go a dance and violin player that's masculine right that dude is a masculine dancing violin player you are right and he's also so not was so nice to me really yeah was because i.

[A]

Heard he's tough in the ballroom all partners but i mean they all they.

[B]

All yep yeah and my partner was really hard on me she should have been yeah she wouldn't have got out of me what she got out of me but we also had the conversation early like i was like hey i i have to be coached yeah and you cannot coach me too hard because we have the same goal and it is to win yeah she thought it was crazy because she thought there was no chance we were going to win she had made the finals multiple times and with a backstreet boy with a pro player never won so i was her first win yeah of all people but yeah you can't coach me too hard but we did have that conversation early where you gotta if i need it and we fought oh i bet.

[A]

Yeah i feel like they all do.

[B]

Yeah you're just close to that person so much that you fight with your friends occasionally yeah and that relationship and you had it with your partner you're just together so much well and i.

[A]

Don'T like being told what to do.

[B]

Me either and something you said earlier was you go in you have to learn we're toddlers again yes yes and.

[A]

I don't like being bad at something and i as i came in as people thinking i'm a dancer so then i felt like i was just disappointing everybody with not being able to pick things up yeah i go and i'm.

[B]

Running like shows and i got multiple podcasts i got tv shows on and all of a sudden in that room i am the lowest of low not as a human but at my skill level yeah and i'm not used to that because i'm used to running everything because i've built everything myself yes it is a hard check oh you have.

[A]

Hyper independence hyper yes and i don't i don't really know where i think my hyper independence comes from the fact that i thought and i was taught to believe that i would just find a man to rely on and that that's what would make me happy and so when i quit dancing i found a very successful hockey player as a canadian does and i went oh my god how great i'm not gonna work i'm going to travel i get to follow him around and he makes great money and i learned so quickly that that is not the life for me and that was when something shifted in me because he broke my heart to like to a point where i actually had to go see like psychiatric help help because i was like i'm not okay i need help and i've said this before on a podcast i actually got addicted to valium i was on antidepressants which i still am on antidepressants but i like just was like i can take a pill and numb myself and not feel anything this is awesome i moved in with my parents back at the age of like twenty seven and i was like like then i was like i'm a loser so i got my act together i started building myself back up i started going to therapy and then i felt like that's when i really needed to prove like i could do everything by myself i will never rely on a man because i was just relying on him emotionally.

[B]

Pendulumed oh so hard was it too.

[A]

Hard so too hard where now it's a coping mechanism and i still work on that like i just want to do i want to prove that i can do everything by myself because well mostly with men but it's all because.

[B]

Of a heartbreak is it because of the heartbreak it's not that it's not.

[A]

Dad oh god my dad's my hero he's the best man i've ever met in my life and like the bar is so high he is be and i think it's because he's sober he's so consistent he does aa he will not miss an aa meeting every monday and it's the the steps they go through every monday it's just so cool because he lives a life that he's just so proud of and he's just the kindest man i've ever met so no daddy issues for me are they.

[B]

Still together your mom and dad no.

[A]

They'Re friends though they like still talk and text and say happy birthday and it wasn't it was a it was a little messy there for a minute but they divorced when i was eighteen years old which was kind of like.

[B]

It'S an odd time to divorce very odd you're not even there with did you live with them at eighteen i.

[A]

Did i moved out at nineteen okay yeah and it was it was just one of those things where my sister and i were both like okay you guys it's time like you don't have.

[B]

To hold on to you guys knew.

[A]

Yeah yeah yeah but they're both remarried and have been for very a very long time to the most wonderful people that makes sense for them i can't even imagine my parents together my mom is such a firecracker and she is so wild and crazy and my dad is just like so even keeled and now he's with somebody else who's very calm and then my mom's with somebody who just loves her chaotic like energy and are you your mom oh i'm a mixture of both i would say i'm definitely more my mom and if people meet my mom they go wow the apple does not fall far and then if my best friend like my best friend has spent time with my dad and she's like oh that's where your like kind heart comes from i'm like because he's just the best let's.

[B]

Take a quick pause for a message.

[A]

From our sponsor time for a sofa.

[C]

Upgrade introducing anabe sofas where designer style meets budget friendly prices every anibe sofa is modular allowing you to rearrange your space effortlessly perfect for both small and large spaces annabe is the only machine washable sofa inside and out say goodbye to stains and messes with liquid and stain resistant fabrics that make cleaning easy liquids simply slide right off designed for custom comfort our high resilience foam lets you choose between a sink and feel or a supportive memory foam blend plus our pet friendly stain resistant fabrics ensure your sofa stays beautiful for years don't compromise quality for price visit washablesofas dot com to upgrade your living space today sofas start at just six hundred ninety nine dollars with no risk returns and a thirty day money back guarantee get early access to black friday now the biggest sale of the year can save you up to sixty percent off plus free shipping and free returns shop now at washable sofa lofas dot com comma offers are subject to change and certain.

[B]

Restrictions may apply hey it's bobby bones here you ever tried to plan a trip for a large group everybody has their own idea of what the vacation should look like one friend needs a backyard for their new puppy they bring everywhere another friend needs blackout curtains because waking up before ten am yeah that's not going to happen another friend insists on having a king sized bed even though they're happily single booking dot com totally gets it and let's be honest you're probably a bit picky too maybe you want a spot with a good view because what's the point if you can't look out the window and feel like you're somewhere new booking dot com makes juggling those seemingly impossible requests totally possible they've got hotels vacation rentals and every kind of stay you can imagine all across the us whether you're looking for space or style or just something that works for everybody booking dot com helps you get it right find exactly what you're booking for booking dot com booking yeah that's booking dot com booking.

[C]

Yah this message is brought to you by apple card apple card members can earn unlimited daily cash back on everyday purchases wherever they shop this means you could be earning daily cash on just about anything like a slice of pizza from your local pizza place or a latte from the corner coffee shop apply for apple card in the wallet app to see your credit limit offer in minutes subject to credit approval apple card issued by goldman sachs bank usa salt.

[A]

Lake city branch terms and more at.

[C]

Applecard dot com limu limu and doug.

[B]

Here we have the limu emu in its natural habitat helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with liberty mutual fascinating it's accompanied by his natural ally doug uh limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us cut the camera they see us only pay for what you need at libertymutual dot com liberty liberty liberty liberty savings ferry unwritten by liberty mutual insurance company and affiliates excludes massachusetts.

[A]

Hear that that's what it sounds like when you plant more trees.

[C]

Than you harvest work done by thousands of working forest professionals like adam a district forest manager who works to protect.

[B]

Our forests from fires keeping the forest fire resistant synonymous with keeping the forest healthy and we do that through planting more than we harvest and mitigate those risks through active management it's a long.

[A]

Term commitment visit workingforestsinitiatiatiative dot com to.

[C]

Learn more.

[B]

And we're back on the bobby cast when have they been the most proud of you see that's a.

[A]

Tricky one because i think my dad has been the most proud of me like as of recently because of staying humble and not letting everything get to my head i feel like he i thought he was going to tell me he was dying because he was like caitlyn can i he comes to visit me all the time he's like can i just take you in another room talk to you for a second about something that and i'm like you're dying because my brain goes doomsday all the time and he went through all of my accomplishments and he was like this is kind of the same thing as what i was saying earlier he was like but i am the most proud of you for just who you are as a person today and so i feel like he's the most proud of me for that my mom i would say she does deep down feel the same way but she is such a like she's like me the mirror ball it felt like she won the mirror.

[B]

Ball like she was a ballerina i.

[A]

Know and she's just like i think she's really i think she's really the most proud of my accomplishments which it's.

[B]

Cool that you're kind of covered on both sides and you know what they both they both are probably also proud of the other thing too yeah they are for sure like i don't think that it's your dad's just who you are i think he's also proud the work that you've put in yes and your mom the opposite but it's cool that you kind of covered on both.

[A]

Sides well my mom definitely i think has a little bit of like she should have done this like she definitely gave up her dream of dancing to marry my dad and then she became a mom and then she felt like she really lost herself so i feel like she kind of likes to live vicariously through me which is sometimes like and other times i'm like i get it i'd be the same way if.

[B]

They asked you to come back and do dancing with the stars again would.

[A]

You do it without a doubt yes really what about you i was actually talking to kevin about this earlier i worked out with him this morning and we were talking about an all star season and i was like i'm gonna ask him if he do that because i'm very very curious you'd have to.

[B]

No i'm going to say something i i from what i know they're obviously not doing another all star season that i know i don't i don't know.

[A]

Anything i i try and get them.

[B]

To all the time i have been asked because it has become a thing that i've been bad and if i would come back and just be a part of again what do you mean i i can tell you okay off but interesting i think i'm kind of like a an anomaly they would want to see if that anomaly would repeat.

[A]

Itself and and you say no.

[B]

I'Ve not said anything okay okay because it's not been a hey we want to offer i don't think i i don't.

[A]

Know yeah i'm picking up what you're.

[B]

Putting down i really have nothing to gain by it right and i think one of the weird things of me winning is people like well you use your audience it's a voting show yeah and everybody uses whatever audience that got them there if it's social media because.

[A]

I work charlie the tiktok star she's got like one hundred million followers of course she's gonna win people are like.

[B]

Well you you talk to your audience every morning and they voted on your radio show or your podcast and i'm like yes that's that's that's accurate yeah.

[A]

When you did that tick tock the other day or maybe it was instagram whatever it was about like this is my impression of dancing with the stars fans because they don't make sense yeah.

[B]

It'S like they hold it against you for having dance experience yeah this is just about dance and then they do the opposite when it fits the narrative that they want because i felt like whitney was really good she was yeah.

[A]

She'S really good i was sitting in the audience when she got sent home and i like like grabbed the two people behind beside me i grabbed their arms and i like gasped audibly and i was like because i'm like that just goes to show the internet is so powerful and mean that they rallied together to send her home and crush her dreams because they didn't like her character on the mormon wise and that.

[B]

The next day i went on and i've not watched mormon wife so i said somebody explained to me what her character is because they voted her the mormon wife off not the dancing with the stars contestant right because i liked the dancing with the stars contestant and i didn't know her from mormon wives.

[A]

Say i didn't i've she's been on my podcast i love her as a person i've seen clips of mormon wives and i'm like oh not the best look but it's also she has to fit people need to realize that reality tv casts for certain personalities they need a mean girl they need a bully they need a funny one they need it's otherwise you're getting the same person and whitney just happens to be a person who speaks her mind she's brutally honest and people were so mad that she said i came back for season three of marmoise to be on dance with stars and i thought that was.

[B]

So honest of her yes honest you should be rewarded for that and it's.

[A]

Like oh i'm sorry do you think people go on reality tv because they have hopes and dreams of like just like it's my dream to be on tv like yeah it is like capping.

[B]

Out at that yeah yeah i thought it was unfair she was awesome so awesome and i don't know her at all and yeah the fans are weird and we'll wrap but i'll go first most vulnerable time on dancing with the stars i'm gonna ask you yours i'll give you mine okay yeah give me yours the social media ugliness had become such a point for me in the past in the final few weeks because this is a time when they would do the real bottom three i don't know if they did that in your season or not but now they've changed it they just like the random three people and one of them is going.

[A]

Home no they did it the same they changed it from mine okay so.

[B]

Mine was the bottom three i was never in the bottom three yeah so people were pissed all the time that i wasn't in the bottom three and i the last three weeks of that show every day before i would practice before i would go to bed i would read the freaking little engine that.

[A]

Could the book bless your little cotton.

[B]

Because i was just like i gotta have something simple to get me through this oh and i would read that and just be like none of this stuff matters and the book was like it's like this thick but it's like eight pages yeah and it's literally i.

[A]

Love that wait that is and i.

[B]

Still have i still have the exact book i read the little engine that could every day for three weeks to get me through the like the emotional part of it for me because it was so ugly for me yeah and at the same time i was so just hell bent on winning that show.

[A]

I want you to go to hoffman so bad have you ever heard of this seymour no it's a inner child.

[B]

Oh i saw a clip of you going i mentioned hoffman seventy three times i didn't even know what hoffman was but i saw you talking about how much you say hoffman it's it's all.

[A]

About working on your inner child and like healing that part of you i'm going to on site okay on site's great i've been too it's this is a little more of a deep dive in hoffman it's a little more intense and really did change my whole life but talk about vulnerability wow that was i was like literally crying on the floor in front of like thirty people about hoffman yeah but yeah that's so sweet that you read that because that is it probably like felt like a childlike thing to do which makes everybody happy plus it was something simple that gave you the message that you needed every day and you really were the.

[B]

Little engine i was a freaking little engine i know it's makes me a bit emotional thinking back because because a kid's book meant that much to me.

[A]

During that time i want to cry.

[B]

That'S really sweet don't because your glam.

[A]

Looks great oh god does it okay my most vulnerable see i had my experience was so different because i was so hated as the bachelorette that i got death threats people would go as far as like photoshopping me in a dumpster saying that's where i belong that sucks they read mean tweets on my like men tell all episode that were just like like here now i can laugh at it because chris harrison was literally reading caitlyn shut your legs and stop being a little slut you are a terrible example for my daughter and blah and i just got torn apart just for being myself and you know they needed to change up the bachelorette format they always had the girl next door the american sweetheart so it was such a change for me because i got so much love on dancing with the stars and the fandom like whatever they are called they were so good to me and i was like wow this is a really nice change but my vulnerability came from every week i felt like i was not making artem proud and i remember one time he had just i think he was just fed up with me which happens with every couple and i just could not stop sobbing and he was like i thought you were a dancer and it like just and i remember going home that night and i laid in the shower crying as i did most nights and bandaged up everywhere and for some reason this is actually crazy i smelled my grandma and i went that is such a distinct smell and i said out loud i smell my grandma and the lights went out in the bathroom and i just screamed for my partner at the time and he came in and he goes why are the lights off i went i don't know i said try and turn them on he turned them on and they wouldn't go on but every other room worked and then the lights just went back on after that and i my sign for like asking for anything of like guidance i always ask for blinking lights or.

[B]

Like flashing lights really so you'd asked for that prior always wow i've been.

[A]

Asking for it for years and i and i remember just like it's a different kind of vulnerability but i remember just feeling like so aligned and i was like i have to just believe in myself and what i'm doing and just battle through this pain and what artem says to me he doesn't mean in the moment he's just frustrated he just knows we have the like ability to possibly win and it was just like a really changing moment for me and not that's wild yeah it was crazy and now i see like flashing lights happened me especially so when i came up out of hoffman i went to hawaii by myself and went to.

[B]

Hawaii by myself once too you did all by myself isn't it the best well people thought it was i went to finish a book and people i was like hey i'm gonna go on a hike i said we take a picture of me they're like yeah where's the other person just me yeah yeah.

[A]

Yeah it's such a spiritual place and it's like my happy that's it's my disneyland that's cool i just went to.

[B]

The dole banana plant you did like.

[A]

Cool things oh yeah that's funny and i remember being in hawaii and i was like i feel so like high on life right now and i was still asking for signs of blinking lights i have a video of it i went into my bathroom to wash my face that night and the light above me in my hotel room was just blinking and i was like thank you and i just kept saying thank you and then i went out and i said god i just really want to see like whales and just i'll show you the videos after these whales were just like breaching out and like i've never seen and people were screaming because they've never seen anything so crazy and then i went you know what i'm gonna google how to get a hawaiian blessing on a relationship with myself because i know they do it for married couples and i was gonna ask for a blessing for it all myself and this guy came and met me cutest little man and it started raining and all these sea turtles just started coming up to my feet and he was like i've never seen this before and i was like like dude i'm so aligned right now i'm like i think i am a turtle like i was just so into it and then i came home and got my phone back and everything went to but that's what.

[B]

Happens when you get your phone back yes you get your phone yeah we were talking about your podcast before you came on and but i just want to say congratulations like you built something.

[A]

Really cool thank you it's my favorite thing that i do i just i love having just like conversation like this it's nice to do it also with somebody who is obviously a pro because i'm sure you've had experiences where you're like this is pulling teeth oh yeah.

[B]

And that's why i was looking forward to this i knew it wouldn't be pulling teeth and it was something i wanted to talk about yeah do you.

[A]

Feel like we talked about everything you.

[B]

Wanted to talk about i don't know i won't know till later oh because i haven't really i don't even have any notes right so it was just like i just wanted to kind of talk about it with somebody who understood it who wasn't hearing me talk about it but could actually listen and talk back about the experience that's why it was valuable for you to be here so i really appreciate that no i.

[A]

Was honored that you asked me and i really do i really do think you should get it back and here it's just because you did work so hard for that and it doesn't matter what people want to take away from you like they can't take that away from you you literally took it away.

[B]

From but also one and a little bit of it was for like if i'm really going to be like this sucks like i need to do something about it i'm gonna mail it back but i know i hear you're right yeah i know you're right you're like.

[A]

A little doggy with your tail you're right your legs now not yet but i might be i think i just where was it was it up there.

[B]

No neighbor's at home oh i can add it at home oh yeah i.

[A]

Want you to have it back okay.

[B]

You deserve it all right well caitlin thank you for coming thank you this has been awesome thank you thanks for listening to a bobby cast production hey it's bobby bones here when you're traveling with family it can be a circus mom wakes up at five am nephew stay up till midnight and your dog just wants a yard to play in booking dot com makes it easy to find a stay that's right for everyone whether it's a vacation rental or a space to spread out or a hotel where someone else makes the breakfast find exactly what you're booking for booking dot com comma booking yeah that's booking dot com booking yeah and doug here we have the limu emu in its natural habitat helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with liberty mutual fascinating it's accompanied by his natural ally doug uh limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us cut the camera they see us only pay for what you need at liberty mutual dot com liberty liberty liberty liberty savings ferry unwritten by liberty mutual insurance company and affiliates excludes.

[C]

Massachusetts let's play a little holiday fill in the blank are you ready jingle blank obviously it's jingle jammies because when old navy rolls out the jingle jammies you know the holidays are officially on the new collection is their biggest ever twenty two prints in tons of styles from classic plaids to playful patterns they even have coordinating graphic tees sweatshirts socks fleece blankets and even pet sweaters get your jingle jammies crank up the cheer and make the season official find jingle jammies and other holiday goodies at oldnavy.

[B]

Dot com ah greetings from my bath festive friends the holidays are overwhelming but i'm tackling this season with paypal and making the most of my money money getting five percent cash back when i pay in four no fees no interest i used it to get this portable spa with jets now the bubbles can cling to my sculpted but pruny body make the most of your money this holiday with paypal save the offer in the app ends twelve thirty one see paypal dot com promoter points can be redeemed for cash and more paying for subject to terms and approval paypal inc and mls nine one zero four five seven amazon five star theater presents real customer reviews performed by ed helms tonight's review tactical jacket i was living a simple life didn't get out much then i bought this jacket and everything changed women came flocking to me from lands domestic and foreign on the two hundred forty five day sailboat voyage home i was attacked by a shark i knew it was the jacket he was after giving up the jacket in exchange for my life five stars amazon customer sixty nine shop the perfect gift this holiday.

[A]

On amazon this is an i heart podcast guaranteed human.