FEELING THINGS - 3 Traits That Make You Likeable, Tactics That Toxic People Use & More

Summary

The Bobby Bones Show: "FEELING THINGS – 3 Traits That Make You Likeable, Tactics That Toxic People Use & More"

Hosts: Amy & Kat
Date: June 26, 2026
Theme: Exploring emotions, personal boundaries, toxic relationships, likability traits, and authentic sharing – with the hosts blending real talk, humor, and reflection.

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Episode Overview

This episode of "Feeling Things" with Amy and Kat covers a wide emotional spectrum: from vacation stories and media recommendations to a thoughtful deep dive into tactics toxic people use to reenter your life, setting boundaries, and the core traits that make people likable. The episode also features a fun “describe your ex as a store” segment and a reflective discussion on what authentic vulnerability means in a world of curated online experiences.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Current Feels: Eager, Refreshed, and a Little Scared

• [02:53–09:41]
  • Amy shares her excitement (“eager, pumped, amped”) about their upcoming trip to Canyon Ranch, a shift from her usual reserved anticipation.
  • Kat, freshly back from Cape Cod, feels “refreshed” and excited but also admits to fear around her upcoming childbirth.
  • Discussion on reading vacation books (“Happy Place,” “Theo of Golden”), relaxing, and food highlights from Cape Cod.
• Memorable moment:
  • “I wanted to read 74 pages of a book and relax. And it was wonderful.” – Kat [09:44]
  • Chat about childbirth fears: “I am actually really terrified of childbirth... I will be taking the epidural.” – Kat [07:54]

2. Documentaries and Podcasts That Leave a Mark

• [12:55–22:13]
  • Amy and Kat discuss the true crime documentary “Maternal Instinct” and the podcast “Love Trapped.”
  • Both are deeply disturbed (and fascinated) by "Maternal Instinct" and warn listeners about its heaviness.
  • They reflect on our society’s fascination with true crime and the ethical considerations of consuming stories based on real tragedy. Amy shares regret: “I told Bobby to watch it with his wife ... not thinking about how she's newly postpartum. She wasn't having it.” [17:19]
  • Importance of listening to gut feelings and boundaries: “Some people did see the red flags and listened to their gut and set boundaries. Let that be an example for us all.” – Kat [22:21]

3. Tactics of Toxic People: How They Try to Sneak Back Into Your Life

• [25:29–34:28]
  • Amy introduces and the pair elaborate on various ways toxic people “check in” to see if they're still welcome:
    • Random "thinking of you" texts.
    • Nostalgia bait – sharing old memories.
    • Reaching out through mutual friends/liking old social posts.
    • Half-apologies or non-apology apologies.
    • Poking at old wounds.
    • Fake “sweet” check-ins.
  • Quote: “Sometimes the best thing you can do is ... stop me. Feel things.” – Kat [02:48]
  • Insightful aside: They break down why these tactics are emotionally manipulative and how to resist responding.
  • Amy shares a recent example from her dating life: “... the minute they got wind that I broke up with that other person, I got a hey.” [31:13]

Practical Tips for Boundaries:

• “Be wise to their tactics. Initiate a hard conversation if one needs to be had. Set boundaries. Don't respond at all ... Stay true to your character. Don't take the bait ... Walk away, and finally, pray for their maturity and growth.” – Amy [34:28]

4. The Power and Pitfalls of Online Sleuthing

• [36:35–39:00]
  • Inspired by true crime podcasts and documentaries, Amy and Kat discuss “community sleuths” and the rise of internet justice/vigilantism.
  • Debate: Is “sleuth” a positive or negative term? Kat prefers “vigilantes” or “justice seekers.”
  • Reference to “Don’t F*** With Cats” and the impressive outcomes of mass online collaboration.

5. What Makes Someone Likeable? The Big Three

• [40:13–43:17]
  • Empathy: Truly listen and get other people's perspectives.
  • Authenticity: Be real, not necessarily totally transparent.
  • Enthusiasm: Positive energy draws others in.
  • Quote: “People gravitate towards those who bring positivity into a room. Nobody wants to be around a Debbie Downer—but sometimes, if you have to be a little Debbie Downer, it's OK.” – Amy [41:20]
  • Kat’s insight: Authenticity doesn't mean oversharing; “To be authentic ... means to be honest and real, not transparent.” [42:09]

On Performative Vulnerability

• Kat brings up her interview with singer JP Saxe:
  • “I don’t really consider a lot of my music vulnerable because I have curated it... It’s not me just sharing something off the tip of my heart.” [44:12]
  • The difference between genuine vulnerability (the unknown reaction) and curated disclosures online, sometimes performed for connection or attention.

6. Authentic Sharing vs. Sharing for Show

• [49:59–53:28]
  • Amy reflects on sharing difficult life moments (her divorce, her mother’s cancer) publicly — contrasting real-time, unfiltered sharing with delayed, more curated announcements.
  • Both agree: Authenticity isn’t about transparency for its own sake but about sharing in meaningful, intentional ways.

7. Fun Segment: ‘Describe Your Ex as a Store’

• [54:18–60:39]
  • Laugh-out-loud metaphors comparing exes to businesses—examples:
    • Shein: “He lied about the size.” [54:40]
    • Netflix: “Because I share with him four other girls and I’m the only one paying.” [54:44]
    • Microsoft: “Micro and soft.” [55:07]
    • Starbucks: “Because he screamed the wrong name.” [56:13]
    • Ikea: “Looked amazing at first, but came with too many issues, not enough parts.” [56:21]
  • Joyful attempts to find positive “store” analogies for partners:
    • Chipotle: “Consistent with options.” [58:11]
    • Chick-fil-A: “It’s always my pleasure.” [60:29]
    • Target: “Could stay for hours.” [59:18]

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Notable Quotes & Highlights

• On birth anxiety:

  • Kat: “I am actually really terrified of childbirth ... But I will be taking the epidural.” [07:54]

• On disturbing documentaries:

  • Amy: “After watching Maternal Instinct, I was literally catatonic ... It’s disturbing.” [16:01]
  • Kat: “There is nothing ... no crime, no podcast, no anything that I have listened to that has made me feel that way. It is a one of a kind.” [18:30]

• On boundaries and toxic people:

  • Amy: “The big takeaway from the list is that they’re not actually wondering if you’re okay. They’re wondering if they’re still welcome in your life.” [33:55]

• On authenticity:

  • Kat: “To be authentic ... means to be honest and real, not transparent.” [42:09]

• On performative vulnerability:

  • JP Saxe, via Kat: “I don’t really consider a lot of my music vulnerable because I have curated it.” [44:12]

• On positive relationships:

  • Amy (on Chick-fil-A): “It’s always my pleasure.” [60:29]
  • Kat: “You’ll always find something extra at the checkout.” (Home Goods analogy) [59:28]

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Timestamps by Segment

• 02:53 — Show start, intro feelings, trip planning
• 09:41 — Cape Cod vacation reflections, food chat
• 12:55 — True crime: "Maternal Instinct," "Love Trapped"
• 25:29 — Toxic people’s tactics + boundary talk
• 34:28 — Practical steps for handling toxic people
• 36:35 — "Sleuths" and online community justice
• 40:13 — 3 traits that make people likable
• 43:17 — Performative vs. authentic vulnerability
• 49:59 — Real vs. curated sharing (divorce/cancer discussion)
• 54:18 — "Describe your ex as a store" game
• 58:03 — Turning the game positive: partners as stores
• 60:29 — Chick-fil-A and other positive relationship/store analogies

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Tone and Style

• Conversational, candid, affectionate: Amy and Kat openly share emotions, fears, and their evolving thoughts, blending fun banter with genuine advice and self-reflection.
• Supportive and humorous: Even in heavy discussions, the hosts maintain warmth and levity.

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For Listeners

If you’re seeking relatable insight into boundaries, emotional health, and how to better spot both positive and negative patterns in relationships—with plenty of laughter and honest moments—this episode is a must. Skip the ads and join Amy and Kat for a heartfelt, insightful, and playful ride through the real, the chill, and everything in between.

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Want to Share?

Email: hey [e-mail]
Call: 877-207-2077

Closing wisdom:
"Have the day you need to have." – Amy [62:41]

Transcript

[Kat]

This is an iHeart podcast, guaranteed human

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Amy]

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[Kat]

The real stuff to the chill stuff

[Amy]

and the in between.

[Kat]

Sometimes the best thing you can do

[Amy]

is just stop me.

[Kat]

Feel things this is feeling things with

[Amy]

Amy and Kat Happy Tuesday. Welcome to Feeling Things. I'm Amy.

[Kat]

And I'm Kat.

[Amy]

And I am feeling eager. I am so eager for our trip. Next week. We're going to Canyon Ranch, and I am just counting down the days. I know you normally get really excited for things on the calendar. I don't really do that. As much like, you love trips. Like, you just got back from a trip, and you're going on this other trip. You're like, yeah, this sounds fun. Let's do it. I'd be like, ooh, I just got back from a trip. I need to not do anything for a little bit.

[Kat]

Oh, I know. When we were flying back from our trip, I said to Patrick, I said, in one week, I'll be on another plane. How do you feel about that? And he was like, what? I was like, yeah, I'm going on another vacation.

[Amy]

Wait, he didn't know you were going?

[Kat]

He knew, but I don't think he realized how fast it was. I was like, I have to get these things in before the baby's here. Yeah.

[Amy]

Yeah. So eager is my feeling of the day. And it's just. Just exciting. So that's another feeling. Pumped, amped.

[Kat]

Well, I'm glad that you can get. I've never heard you say that you were amped before, but that makes me happy that you are allowing yourself to feel excited about this if you normally don't like.

[Amy]

I think it's gonna be good. I'm excited to read. I was trying to figure out my book for poolside.

[Kat]

Yeah. Well, are you gonna bring more than one book?

[Amy]

No, just one. What if I finish it?

[Kat]

Yeah, what if you finish it?

[Amy]

I'll find a big one. Wait, so on your last trip, you took my Happy Place, my Emily Henry Happy Place book. Did you read it?

[Kat]

I believe I got to page 74 or something.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

Which is a big deal.

[Amy]

That's better than you did with Theo of Golden.

[Kat]

Theo of Golden. I think on vacation, I got to page 12.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

I can't speak for Theo of Golden because, no, I have not finished it yet. I believe it's probably a very good book. It is not a beach read.

[Amy]

Right. So Happy Place is different.

[Kat]

It's very easy. I can, like, be in two places that I. I don't have to pay attention as much. I can put it down, pick it up. You don't have to, you know, Theo of Golden. You have to, like, be in the zone.

[Amy]

Right.

[Kat]

To be in the story. Happy Place. It's just. You can. You could read it while you're Walking almost. You know, people do that. I've seen people on walking trails reading a Kindle.

[Commercial Announcer]

Wow.

[Amy]

Yeah. I would be so nervous. I was gonna. It's like run into something, but true. That is the same thing, like, being so.

[Kat]

Thank you for that book. I'm gonna bring that one with me because I don't believe. I'll probably finish it.

[Amy]

I don't read it. Save it for the trip. If anybody has any good recommendations, y' all can send them my way. Hey, there. At feeling things podcast.com. just put book recommendation so I can nail down the perfect book. Maybe. Maybe I find one that's based in Arizona because we're going to be in Tucson.

[Kat]

Well, you already read Fort Winds, didn't you?

[Amy]

Okay, well, that wasn't in Arizona, though.

[Kat]

That's what they have to go through Arizona to get to where they're going.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

I think Arizona. It goes Texas.

[Amy]

Texas to California.

[Kat]

You have to go through Arizona. That's what I was thinking. Like, they were in Arizona for a bit.

[Amy]

Didn't they pass through Arizona on their way?

[Kat]

So it's basically about Arizona.

[Amy]

And it was like, the Dust bowl in Arizona is dusty. Yeah.

[Sports Announcer]

And hot.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Yeah. Four wins, people. Some people did not like that book at all. I posted about my Kristen Hannah books the other day, and someone was like, all of them except for four wins. And I'm like, whoa, I really liked four wins. But it's just like, you, like, people obsess over Theo of Golden, and you're like, I couldn't get into it.

[Kat]

Okay. I'm still gonna finish that book. I'm not saying it's not good. I bet if I listened to it, I would have been obsessed with it.

[Amy]

Okay, so what's your feeling of the day?

[Kat]

Well, I'm feeling refreshed because I just got back from vacation and I'm about to go on another one.

[Commercial Announcer]

But you're.

[Amy]

To be fair, you're still working. Like, we're actually working extra this week to get in our work, and we worked extra before you left to get that done. And then. So what are your therapy patients doing?

[Kat]

They're just being patient. Being patient patients before I left. And then this week I have more clients packed in, so then I could take off the other days, if that makes.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Any sense. So, yeah, I am still working, but I've never taken two vacations the same month before. This is a new me. I. I like this version.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

And not only.

[Amy]

I was thinking the other day how excited you must be for the baby to come because remember how excited you were for your wedding? And then after your wedding, you got so sad because you had nothing to look forward to. And I was like, oh, no. After Kat has the baby, is she gonna be like, oh, you don't have the baby. Okay.

[Kat]

Yeah, you know what I mean?

[Amy]

It's like, there. But you don't have the birth to look forward to.

[Kat]

Well, who said I'm looking forward to the birth? Does anybody look forward to the birth?

[Amy]

I don't know. I'm sure there are some people I'm getting. Are you saying if you're doing this medicated or unmedicated, there'll be medication? Okay. Have you seen the influencers lately that are, like, posting these entire documentaries of their unmedicated birth?

[Kat]

I don't want to watch that.

[Amy]

Yeah, that was a documentary. I mean, like, five reels in a row about each step of their unmedicated journey.

[Kat]

Do whatever you want to do. I'm. I. So this is a personal journey for everybody and for people that want to do, like, a home birth or this or that or unmedicated or the water birth, that is great. I am not one of those people, and I am going to utilize every piece of modern medicine that we have. I am actually really terrified of childbirth. I had a little bit of a moment the other day. Just. I know I can do it, and I know after it's over, I'll probably be like, that was the coolest thing ever. And it's something I've never done before, and there are so many unknowns, and there's so many things that can happen, and it's. Nobody can describe to you. They can describe it, but you're not going to really understand it until you do it. So, yeah, I'll be. I'll be taken the. The epidural. We'll have that. I'm afraid of that needle, though. Have you seen how big it is?

[Amy]

Yeah. But then in a matter of moments, you're not gonna be able to even feel anything. But, yeah, don't look. Just close your eyes.

[Kat]

I don't think you can look because I think it goes in your back.

[Amy]

I know, but, like, when they're preparing it or walking in just close, be like, I don't want to see the needle. I don't want to see the needle. Yeah, close your eyes. That's what I have to do with the little one that they even put in your arm when I'm getting, like, blood drawn, I'm like, I don't want to see.

[Kat]

Yeah, that's true. So, yeah, we'll. It'll be fine. It'll be great. It'll be wonderful. But I will say I'm not. I'm looking forward to what comes from the birth. I'm not looking forward to that process.

[Amy]

Gotcha. But you're feeling refreshed. That's your feeling. Today I'm feeling from your trip.

[Kat]

Now I'm feeling scared.

[Amy]

Sorry.

[Kat]

That's okay. I need to think about it because I need to be realistic about it. But, yeah, I'm feeling very refreshed. We went somewhere I have never been before, to Cape Cod. I don't know that we'll ever go back. Not because we didn't love it, but it was a kind of a trek to get there. It was exactly what I needed. I wanted it to be not hot, but not cold. I wanted to be on the beach. I wanted to read 74 pages of a book and relax. And it was wonderful.

[Amy]

The food. Was the food good?

[Kat]

The food? Yes. Every day since I've had this one ice cream sandwich, I've been thinking about it.

[Amy]

So I saw you post that. What was so special about this ice cream sandwich?

[Kat]

It was just really good. I don't know. I don't know. It was just so in the.

[Amy]

Was the sandwich part a cookie? Like a chocolate chip cookie?

[Kat]

Yeah, chocolate chip cookie dough inside of, like, ice cream in it. And the cookie was, like, soft. It was. It felt like it was like freshly baked. Probably wasn't, but felt that way. It was so good. All the food was amazing. We went. Went to one restaurant. We went twice because it was so good. A sushi restaurant of all places. I don't even really like sushi that much, so highly recommend Chatham, Massachusetts.

[Amy]

That's what specifically where you are? Chatham.

[Kat]

Chatham.

[Amy]

So where'd you fly?

[Kat]

Flew to Boston. Drove there. And I think a lot of people, when they go to the Cape, they'll like, visit different. The different towns because they're all kind of close together or they'll take a ferry to Martha's Vineyard or Nantucket. We didn't do any of that because I just wanted to, like, lay. I didn't want it because, you know, exploring, you have to, like, walk and

[Amy]

your sightseeing cat from my kitchen into the podcast room. She's like, out of breath.

[Kat]

She's like, okay, yeah, yeah. It hit me out of nowhere, this, like, my waddling. I feel like I'm walking different and just getting. If I talk too much, I get out of breath. So I just wanted to lay. So I did that Highly recommend we sit at Chatham Bars Inn. It was so cute.

[Amy]

So cute. Yeah, it definitely made me want to go. I've had. We. Well, when I. My had a boyfriend last summer, we went on a trip to. Where'd we go? Cayman's. The Cayman Islands. As a. Like our. We took our kids, like a little joint family trip and Nantucket was on our list of things to do if we didn't do that. That was a. But I mean, I haven't done. Other than Boston. I haven't spent much time in any of the. Like, Martha's Vineyard. Never done that. Cape Cod. Like, I didn't even know when you said you were going to Cape Cod. I. I had to look up where it was.

[Kat]

Yeah, well, I think a lot of people think it's in Maine. It's. It's in Massachusetts. It's confusing, especially if you. We don't live up there. It's not like our normal vacation. So. Yeah. The more you know.

[Amy]

Well, I still have. So I still have that Nantucket or Martha's New Year. That's been on my list ever since we were considering it.

[Kat]

I think you would love it.

[Amy]

And then I was sold after I saw you post that ice cream sandwich. Do you remember exactly where you got it?

[Kat]

Yeah, it was called Buffy's Ice Cream. Okay. That place was hopping every night.

[Amy]

Buffy's.

[Kat]

Yes. It must be like the place to go in Chatham because they. There was a line down the sidewalk every night and we weren't even like, june is not their season because it's still kind of chilly. So imagine in July. It's even crazier. I recommend June if you don't want to sweat.

[Amy]

So I know we talked about what you read on vacation. I also know you watched Maternal Instinct because. Well, I had watched it and then you watched on your trip, which I was like, oh, what an interesting way to spend time on your vacation with you and your husband in your cute little hotel.

[Kat]

We. Okay, so we just listened to. What is the podcast about? Love Trapped. Me and Patrick just finished that.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

I know we're late to the game.

[Amy]

Slowly. Well, I don't know. I feel like a lot of people are still learning about Love Trapped. I am listening to that one episode every two weeks because that's what I listen to at my lash appointments with Amy.

[Kat]

You're behind it then.

[Amy]

And so we are so desperate to finish this, but we both don't want to cheat on each other because Amy's into it, I'm into it, and it's like, it's like our thing. And so she's like, okay, she'll send me a screenshot at the end of every appointment. She's like, this is where we left off. And so I am taking that one every two weeks. And I get to listen to it this week with her. Cause I have an appointment.

[Kat]

But do you know what episode you're on?

[Amy]

Yeah, like the end of three or four. Oh, how many are there? There's 12. There's 12. Oh, my gosh.

[Kat]

There's 12. Wait, what?

[Amy]

Okay, I thought there was probably five or six.

[Kat]

You guys have got to find a different rhythm.

[Amy]

Okay, we're going to have to listen to it on. We were talking fast.

[Kat]

Or maybe you guys listen to one episode together when you're. And then you listen to one episode while you wait to see each other forever.

[Amy]

I know it's going to be Christmas before I'm done.

[Kat]

What is crazy about that podcast is when you first start listening to it, you're like, h. I mean, that's why I would think it would only be a couple episodes. You're like, how far could this really go?

[Amy]

Okay, wait, so it's going to get even cra. Okay. Because when I posted about Maternal Instinct, someone sent me a message. They're like, oh, my gosh, I just finished Love Trap. Like, these two ladies. And I was like, I wouldn't even put these people in the same category.

[Kat]

Well, I actually wouldn't either, because to me, she hasn't.

[Amy]

I'm not to anything. I mean, of course, what she's doing to trap him is a little crazy, but I am not to, like, super duper duper unhinged yet.

[Kat]

Oh, no, you'll get there. She is super duper duper unhinged. There has to be, like, some stuff going on with her that we just

[Amy]

don't know what's the mental. I know you can't diagnose them, but as a therapist, like, I guess I don't know what's going on with. Is it they live in fantasy or are they delusional or what's the.

[Kat]

I don't know. I think at the. I don't want to give anything away, but towards the end, there are some. There's some speculation of, like, diagnoses she's had. And I think she admits to certain things on.

[Amy]

Sorry, Love Trapped or maternal incident on Love Trapped.

[Kat]

Sorry. But the reason I brought up Love Trapped even is because Patrick saw a ad for maternal instincts and was like, oh, my gosh, we should watch this. It seems similar. So we Watch it. And not the same vibe. Not the same vibe. Like, no.

[Amy]

Yeah. I mean, some of. Some, like, lying and deception.

[Kat]

But how you will feel.

[Amy]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

[Kat]

Like what? Listening to Love Trapped, it's like, oh, my gosh, this is crazy. Or like, can't believe that happened. Or, you know, some of it's a little funny. Or some of it. After watching Maternal Instinct, I was literally catatonic. Could not speak for about 10, 15 minutes because I didn't. Like, how do you.

[Amy]

It's disturbing. Yeah.

[Kat]

And you had a similar reaction because I saw you posted on Instagram.

[Amy]

Well, yeah. And then I was like, okay, I'm hungry. And then, like, now, suddenly I don't have an appetite. Like, the more I thought about it, like, I didn't want to eat. Like, it was a. It was a weird it.

[Kat]

And I will give a. What's it called? A rating. No. Like a trigger warning or a. What's it calling you?

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Just don't watch.

[Amy]

I know you're pregnant. I mean, we've said on the Bobby Bone show, like, the. The preview has her getting pulled over and she's got a baby, and then they're like, that's not your blood. That's not. You know, so that part is out there that there's obviously something weird going on. I will say I told Bobby to watch it with his wife, and I wasn't thinking about how, like, she's very post. Like, newly. Postpartum. The baby's, what, three months old? So it wasn't for her. She wasn't.

[Kat]

Did she watch it?

[Amy]

I don't know if she finished it because she. I think she said, I can't keep watching this. But Bobby said, oh, do you think that Caitlin will like it? And I was like, yeah, she'll like it. Like, I wasn't thinking free baby.

[Kat]

She probably would have been.

[Amy]

Maybe it wouldn't have impacted her the same way. I mean, I think it's impacting everybody. Like, everyone's like, what in the world? And then also I'm like, wade.

[Kat]

Wade. My what?

[Amy]

Wade. Poor Wade.

[Kat]

No, I don't feel that way. You don't feel well? Okay. I don't know his history, where he comes from, what he's dealing with, but I just felt like there is some signs that were pointing for him to maybe do his due diligence and make sure she was.

[Amy]

I just don't think he was as into it. As into her, maybe as she. So he was fine with, like. And there's probably a little bit of Denial.

[Kat]

Yeah. Okay.

[Amy]

That's fair. You know, I. I get what you're saying, and we don't want to give anything away in case someone's just not watching it. But that. That is definitely, for me, the craziest true crime thing I've ever.

[Kat]

Oh, I've. I. There is nothing I can. There's no crime, no podcast, no anything that I have listened to that has made me feel that way. It is a one of a kind. That's a one of a kind situation, surely. Hopefully.

[Amy]

I know. I just felt bad that you were on vacation and then you had that moment.

[Kat]

Me and Patrick were like, why did we watch that? It kind of ruined the night. Like, no, we actually. We left the beach a little early so we could go finish it, because we had tried to watch it the two nights before, but I kept falling asleep, like, so seven minutes in, and then like 12 minutes in. So I was like, why don't we go in early and watch this before we go to dinner? So I wasted beach time to watch this, not knowing. And then we had to go eat after.

[Amy]

Oh, gosh.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

So that's heavy.

[Kat]

Crazy. And again, if you guys are. You haven't watched it and you don't know what happens, just be careful. I don't want to say too much

[Amy]

again, because, yeah, I think we've painted a good picture of, like, the. It's. It's heavy. It's almost like you want to recommend it. I felt the same way of like, oh, you want to recommend and say, yes, watch it, but. And then also you want to be like, but don't.

[Kat]

But why. You know what? Patrick made this comment, and I was like, we are sick community of people. Because I was just distraught. And he said, well, that's what makes it a good documentary, is that you just really had no idea what was going to happen, and it's making you feel something. And I said, for a movie, sure,

[Amy]

but this isn't fiction.

[Kat]

This is. This is real.

[Amy]

It really happened.

[Kat]

What. Why are. I have this dissonance within myself where it's like, I love documentaries. I love them. I love. And I. I don't mind true crime stuff. Like, I. I enjoy that. But also I'm getting entertainment out of watching these. Like, it's the same thing with. Was it Jeffrey Dahmer, where people were like, we're, like, glorifying this serial killer and that's what he wanted. And so I don't know that that's what this person wanted to be. I don't. I don't think she wanted to be famous for per se. But it is a weird feeling of yes, we want to recommend this documentary because it was so shocking and good in its own way, the way it was made. But also we're recommending to perpetuate this story that in some regards doesn't deserve to be retold. Is that.

[Commercial Announcer]

Yeah.

[Amy]

There are other people in the story though where it might have been healing for them to put their side out there. Of what? Because there, there are multiple victims in the story and some of them got to be highlighted of like what. How amazing they were and it's tragic. They were a part of this situation.

[Kat]

That is fair. That's a good way.

[Amy]

And for me I have my guard up with like anybody new that you kind of meet. Just like what? Yeah. You just.

[Kat]

Well, the most charismatic.

[Amy]

I don't want to live that way. Of being suspicious. Suspicious, yes, of everyone. Because I don't think that everyone has whatever she has going on. But gosh.

[Kat]

Yeah, but how do you know? But I think also there were some. You get some glimmers of people who did see the red flags and listen to their gut and so that's a good. I mean we can listen to our. It's not like this is just going to happen to us willy nilly. We'll. There'll be signs. We just have to listen to them.

[Amy]

Yeah. And it sounds like some of the people, like you said, they were featured in the documentary that had a gut feeling and then set a boundary and then held a boundary.

[Kat]

Yeah. Let that be an example for us all.

[Amy]

I want to tell you about nefi, the only needle free epinephrine nasal spray for those who weigh 33 pounds or more. It's used for the emergency treatment of allergic reactions, including anaphylaxis. Nephi works as well as a needle injector and delivers the same trusted epinephrine. It's designed to be safe and easy to use at the first sign of symptoms. So in a high stress moment, your child or someone else can act quickly to treat an allergic reaction, even if you're not there. NEFI is also small, discreet and easy to carry, including in a backpack, lunchbox or sports bag, so your child is prepared anywhere the day takes them. Pay as little as $0 for at least four Nefi devices, two packs through the copay Savings program with commercial insurance if eligible patients should not pay more than $199 for NEFI.

[Medical Product Announcer]

If you have medical conditions or take certain medicines, your condition may worsen. Tell your doctor about nasal, heart, thyroid or kidney issues, high blood pressure, Parkinson's, diabetes if you're pregnant or breastfeeding and all medications. Side effects include nasal discomfort, headache, runny nose, shaky shakiness and throat irritation. These are not all side effects.

[Amy]

Does your child need a new epinephrine prescription or refill? Don't wait. Ask a doctor about needle free Nephi today. Visit nephi.com to learn more. That's N-E-F-F-Y.com this sports spotlight is brought

[Sports Announcer]

to you by Capital One Venture X card, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports did you know that the largest crowd ever to witness a women's sporting event was in 2023 at the University of Nebraska? 92,003 fans filled the home of Nebraska football Memorial Stadium to watch Nebraska volleyball defeat Omaha. Three Nothing with Venture X. Enjoy easy to use premium benefits like a $300 annual Capital One travel credit. Plus you can earn unlimited double miles on every purchase terms. Apply see capitalone.com for details.

[Amy]

In business, there's no room for guesswork. Every shipment matters. Every deadline counts. When you're trying to keep operations running smoothly, the last thing you need is uncertainty. That's why reliability is at the core of USPS Ground Advantage. From the moment your package is first scanned in, it moves through a secure nationwide network, aiding in a timely and accurate delivery. You get near real time tracking so you can keep up with your shipments. And with affordable upfront pricing, there are no hidden fees or surprise surcharges to throw off your cost sheets. It all adds up to predictable deliveries you you can depend on, because knowing your logistics are handled lets you focus on everything else your customers, your team, and the future that you're building. Visit USPS.com ground advantage to start shipping with confidence. USPS ground advantage when it comes to summer vacations, there are three big questions. Where are you going? What are you doing? And what are you packing? Now that third one? Well, it gets overlooked, but. But not today. No ma'.

[Sports Announcer]

Am.

[Amy]

Let's get into it. And yes, you can find it all at Macy's. First up, bags. Woven textures are having a whole moment. They've got such a breezy I'm on somebody's island energy. Then you've got a structured tote like the Kate Spade Deco Suede Tulip tote. Still relaxed, but a little more polished. Now headscarves. That's how you switch up a look without switching your outfit. Throw one on and keep moving. Stay. Steve Madden has some really great options. And yes, jelly sandals Are back, but grown and classy this time. Light, translucent, easy to pack. Pair that with some tinted sunglasses and you're giving summer head to toe. Don't forget your beauty must haves like Clarins Lip Comfort Oil or Lancome La Via Belle. Now go on and enjoy your trip. Shop in store or@macy's.com. Well, unrelated to this, but also might be like a good segue into toxic people because, well, that's definitely. I guess she would fall into more of an extreme toxic case. But some of these people that she was friends with, they had this weird feeling about her and they had to set a boundary. And so I came across this list of ways toxic people check in to see if you will still let them in. Like, if they still have space. Like, when someone who's hurt you and you've tried to set a boundary, they may reach out without owning to what they did. Now, this isn't if they apologized and y' all made amends. Anything like that. It's rarely about reconnecting. Sometimes they just want to see if they can still take up space in your life. So the first way is a random thinking of you text. Like a breezy, no context message. Like they never caused any damage at all. No apology. Just checking the vibe. Seeing how things are going.

[Kat]

It's like something happened and then we didn't resolve it. And then they're just like, thinking of you, like, being sweet and it makes you question, like, wait, was I being dramatic? Because they're really nice. Look how nice they're being.

[Amy]

They're checking in.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Nostalgia bait. Bringing up a fond memory to pull you back to the good old days. Conveniently skipping the part where things fell apart with y'. All.

[Kat]

I feel like that would get me,

[Amy]

like, I love to reminisce. I love so much fun together. Yeah.

[Kat]

Or just an old story. Or, yeah, a picture. If somebody sends me an old picture

[Amy]

of a really good memory, tug at the old heartstrings.

[Kat]

I know.

[Amy]

Reaching out through other people, liking old photos, asking mutual friends how you're doing, leaving a vague comment. They're using the grapevine to gauge whether you're still upset. So, yeah, like on Instagram, maybe trying to connect that way. Or then through somebody else.

[Kat]

I wonder, does that include, like it says, asking mutual friends how you're doing? Like, hanging out with your mutual friends and just like, making yourself, like, inserting yourself?

[Amy]

I would think so, yeah. The half apology. A vague sorry if I hurt you. That sounds reflective. But stop short of real accountability.

[Kat]

Sorry that you felt that way.

[Amy]

Isn't that like the worst thing you can say to somebody? I mean, apology related?

[Kat]

Yeah, it just should be sorry, period.

[Amy]

Yeah, no sorry. But.

[Kat]

Yeah, the sorry if I. But sometimes, Sometimes it. There's a way to be genuine about saying that. Like, it's one thing if you're like, I didn't mean it that way, but sorry if you took it that way. Like that is okay. You don't need to say it with less words and it would be way more helpful. But there are. Sometimes I feel like when people say, I'm sorry, I. I'm sorry I made you feel that way. Like that can fit, I think, right?

[Amy]

Yeah, I think it depends on the context and the tone versus sorry you

[Kat]

took it that way.

[Amy]

Poking at old wounds, bringing up sensitive topics innocently, or saying something borderline disrespectful to see if you still push back or let it slide.

[Kat]

That just sounds like it would make things worse.

[Amy]

Well, I know, but if you kind of. I don't know. Does. Does this type of toxic person want pushback because they want that engagement with you? Or if you let it slide, do they think like, oh, I can get by treating you this way.

[Kat]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

[Amy]

Which. Some of this could be a friendship that you had to put a boundary on or unhealthy romantic type relationship.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Or someone trying to weasel their way back in and see where they could poke you. And lastly, fake sweet check ins. Been thinking about you. You okay? Question mark. It feels caring, but it's often just fishing to see if you still have feelings for them. Or without doing any real repair work.

[Kat]

Yeah, that reminds me of the just thinking of you text where it makes you think of, oh, they're being kind.

[Amy]

Are you okay? Checking in.

[Kat]

That's so sweet. But then they actually never maybe apologize or acknowledge what they did. You can be like, yeah, I'm okay. I'm still thinking about that mean thing you did to me.

[Amy]

You know, there's still someone that sent me a message. Now, this would be on the more romantic side of things, not a friendship, but I still have not responded to somebody. And it's not that they did anything wrong, but we did end on a little bit of a shady. There was some shady business going on.

[Kat]

You could say that.

[Amy]

And then we didn't. Then I started dating somebody else for a long, long time. And then the minute they got wind that I broke up with that other person, I got a hey.

[Kat]

Literally the minute.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Hey.

[Amy]

Just saw that. And I was like, oh, And I. I really. It was really hard for me not to reply. Not because I was interested, but just because I didn't want to be rude. And also, I wanted to set the boundary of, like. No, I kind of realized, like, how we were, and that was not cool. So we're good.

[Kat]

Yeah. I wouldn't. I don't know that I would use a word as strong as toxic.

[Amy]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Kat]

But I. I would say the dynamic that was within him and you was not what you wanted.

[Amy]

No.

[Kat]

And so he does kind of fall into, like, that. That message that he sent did kind of fall into some of this, where he's just poking to see, like, will you respond?

[Amy]

But also, what's crazy about that is sometimes people will give themselves away because he literally said in the message, that's not why I'm reaching out. But it was obviously why he was reaching out.

[Kat]

It's like, I heard you guys broke up. Not that that's why I'm messaging you, but is it true? Do you want to go out and get a drink? Like, it is exactly why you're messaging. So.

[Sports Announcer]

Yeah.

[Kat]

But he. But that person also. I hope you don't mind me saying, but he also kind of poked a couple times while you were dating just to. I think he was trying to see if you guys were still dating and you didn't take the bait. Mm. You're so healthy.

[Amy]

I try to be, but not always perfect at it. But all these are hard, especially if you have a relationship where. If it's a toxic relationship anyway, there's been unhealthy patterns probably between both of you, and you might not see it. You might not see it. Or if you're start. The veil is starting to lift, and then you do. Within implementing some of these things or. Sorry, recognizing some of these things they might be doing

[Commercial Announcer]

is.

[Amy]

Is difficult at first. Once you see it, you might not be able to unsee it, and then you have to hold your boundary.

[Kat]

Yeah. I think that it would be harder for you to hold this boundary if you had certain feelings for that person. So, yeah, it's easy for us to talk about this kind of stuff, and it's easy in hindsight to talk about these things, but when you're in a situation, whether it's a friend or a romantic partner, especially, I think, a friend, when you. Especially if you have a long relationship with that friend and you don't want to give up on that friend, it's hard to acknowledge that this is what they're doing. And I have to. I Have to cut the cord, kind of. I have to stop playing this game because there's his. Yeah, there's history there. And it's not as. It's not as easy as, like, they're toxic. It's like, well, this person has been with me through a lot of life.

[Amy]

Yeah. Well, I think the big takeaway from the list is that they're not actually wondering if you're okay. And sometimes that's hard to accept. Like they're wondering if they're still welcome in your life or if you're over them yet. And if there's a way. And then if you respond warmly or neutrally, that can signal to them that they still have access. If you hold firm and ignore them, they could escalate things. So warning with that, but they also could back off and then just go away, which has worked for me.

[Kat]

So for now.

[Amy]

Yeah. So some tips on what to do if you're in this situation. Be wise to their tactics. Initiate a hard conversation if one needs to be had. Set boundaries. Don't respond at all. Don't respond with much detail. Limit how vulnerable you are with them. Stay true to your character. Don't take the bait and get offended. Walk away. And finally, pray for their maturity and growth.

[Kat]

That.

[Amy]

Could you send that message?

[Kat]

Pray for you.

[Amy]

Praying for your maturity and growth. Namaste.

[Kat]

They message you and they say, I've been thinking about you. Are you okay? Yeah, I've just been praying for your maturity and growth. I don't recommend you do doing that, but you could.

[Amy]

Well, I mean, you could do that quietly. You don't have to tell them. Yeah, I'm praying for you. My friend's going through something difficult with a toxic person. More of a business relationship situation. And she has typed out a very specific prayer, and she's praying it every single day because it's crushing her spirit. And so she has it on her phone. And she came over the other day and we were talking through it, and she was like, I have a prayer that I've typed up. Can. Can we say it to you? Like, would you say it with me? She's like, I'm doing it every day no matter what, but you know, where two more are gathered. So she was just like, I'm desperate.

[Kat]

She's like, that's so mature, though.

[Amy]

I know. It really was. And she was. She's just in the thick of it right now with something very scary that could impact her entire career. And I have found myself wanting to pray for maturity on her behalf or this other person because what they are doing is very toxic. And it's made me wonder, like, how if I can find any evidence of if they've been shady in deals before prior to her. And so now I've been doing my own Googling, and I'm trying to figure out about this person. I have no idea who. Who they were before her. Like, I'm not friends with this other person. They're not in my ecosystem at all whatsoever. But I've been stalking them online, basically, and I.

[Kat]

Have you found anything?

[Amy]

I think there's some crazy to uncover. And I told her she might want to hire a PI because her lawyer has one that they've used for something else. And I was like, maybe the PI could look into this. And I was just like, oh, I'm watching too much true cry. I'm like, I need to back off. But then I was like, what if you do that? And then she goes even more crazy.

[Kat]

That could happen. But I have learned through mostly listening to Love Trapped, and I won't say too much since you're not. You're only on episode three, which also makes me feel. Because you told me about this podcast so long ago, but.

[Amy]

Yeah, I didn't tell you that I was having to listen to it one episode every two weeks.

[Kat]

No, no, no, no. Okay. The, like. What do they call the, like, community Sleuths? Like, the online.

[Amy]

That thing. That's what they're called is sleuths.

[Kat]

Okay. They are the ones that are cracking the case. Like, if you get enough people in a Reddit thread, you will crack a murder case. I swear, these days. So you might be on to something.

[Amy]

I know, but I can't publicly do anything.

[Kat]

Reddit is probably private. You people don't know your username.

[Amy]

Well, I know, but if I put something up about her.

[Kat]

Yeah, yeah. It might not work for this situation.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

But I will say it is with, like, there's a lot of issues with social media and technology and all of that that I feel like are making the world worse. But the online community of whatever you want to call them. I don't want to call them sleuths because it's almost like they're justice seekers. Sleuth sounds very negative. What does sleuth even mean? Sleuth. I hate that word now.

[Amy]

Well, I guess I've always associated with, like, online vigilantes.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

I don't see it as.

[Kat]

What. Okay.

[Amy]

Negative.

[Kat]

Okay. That's a better word, I think, because

[Amy]

it's close to, like, slug or because sloths are cute.

[Kat]

Sleuth is like.

[Amy]

They're like, sleuthing in there. They're like.

[Kat]

It just feels like.

[Amy]

I don't know, maybe I'll look up

[Kat]

why I like the vigilante better. Like these online people. Like, yes. Sometimes I'm like, how do you have the time to do this? But they have. There's been multiple situations, not just with Love Trapped, where these people have figured out and cracked cases that could not otherwise be cracked because it's all these people coming together.

[Amy]

So, you know, people will be, you know, like, maybe this isn't Sleuths. No, I think it was Sleuths. What was that documentary about, like, the cats?

[Sports Announcer]

Yes.

[Amy]

Weren't they looking at. At, like, in the wall? They're like. That particular outlet is only manufactured in this part of Germany. I mean, I. They find all these little details that will narrow down exactly what apartment this was filmed in, based on light fixtures and, you know, what was that?

[Kat]

That's pretty impressive about Don't Mess with Cats or something.

[Sports Announcer]

I didn't.

[Kat]

I never finished it because I. I

[Amy]

did and I loved it, and now I can't even remember.

[Kat]

But, yes, it was something like. But I think it's because you have so many people that have. They each have come from their own place and have their own pieces of knowledge, and then somebody's gonna know where that outlet's from. You know what I mean? So, yeah, power to those people. And if you wanted to be one of those people, I would support you, but you probably can't do it for your friend because you would give away some identity.

[Amy]

Don't F with Cats. Yes, hunting an Internet killer is what it was called. Okay, what'd you call it?

[Kat]

Don't Mess with Cats.

[Amy]

Yeah. There is the PG version, because F means mess. K. Yeah. Now, I know we're talking about toxic people, but I do have three traits behind every likable person. Okay, so you could try to be like this. Three key qualities. Every likable person boils down to this. Number one, empathy. Show people you're truly listening and that you get where they're coming from, even when you see things differently.

[Kat]

Yeah, I feel like empathy is key in anybody that I want to hang out with.

[Amy]

Two, authenticity. People are drawn to those who feel at ease in their own skin. When you carry yourself with genuine confidence, others sense it and naturally trust you more. Three, enthusiasm. Good energy spreads. People gravitate towards those who bring positivity into a room nobody wants to be around. You know, a Debbie Downer sometimes, if

[Kat]

you have to Be a little Debbie Downer. It's okay.

[Amy]

I know. That's why. I mean, I know. And I. But I prefaced it with, like, not to be. Won't. Won't. But.

[Kat]

But here we are. Also, I would say, about authenticity. This is something I like to talk about around this, because a lot of people think authenticity means that I am, you know, everything about me. And, like, I'm so open and I'm so this. And I share all my mean. You know, we've heard the stories of people on the first time they hang out. They're sharing all of their trauma and all of that. And to be authentic, I think really means to be honest and. And real, not transparent. Like, you don't have to be transparent with everybody. And so if you want to be a likable person, it doesn't mean you have to tell everybody your deepest, darkest secrets. You just have to be yourself. But being yourself doesn't include you sharing every single piece of yourself with everybody. It's a little word to the wise if you're working on being likable.

[Amy]

Yeah. You know, it's about everything on social media. Yeah.

[Kat]

And maybe don't. Yeah.

[Amy]

Well, some stuff is good to share, like updates here and there or, you know, it doesn't have to be, like, every single detail, five paragraphs on Facebook.

[Kat]

Yes.

[Sports Announcer]

Well.

[Amy]

And I think a lot of times,

[Kat]

I mean, for some people, it's their job fair if your job is. If you're an influencer and like, I guess your job is to share your life.

[Amy]

But even within that, there's boundaries. Right. I don't put myself in that same exact, exact category. But on the radio show for the last 20 years, we've shared a lot of our lives. But even within that, there's boundaries. Not everything is told.

[Kat]

Yeah. I feel like you've kept a lot of.

[Amy]

And then in the last 20 years, social media has become a part of our storytelling. But I wouldn't say a lot of it is on there. I still share more on the radio show.

[Kat]

But you're also not. I think that there's this line of the. And people have probably heard this term like performative vulnerability, where I'm posting this and I'm sharing the story to appear vulnerable, but not actually to be vulnerable. And a couple years ago, I interviewed a singer, JP Sachs, and this is one of my most memorable. There's, like, a couple interviews that I've had that I've had these, like, memorable, like, responses to questions I've asked, and this was one of them. And I asked him because he is somebody, I've probably shared this with you more than, more than once. He is somebody who is very feelings based, like his music is very emotional. He comes off as an more in tune with his emotions man in the world. And so I, I asked him like, what's it like to put all this stuff out there? Because his music is about his own life and what's it like to be so vulnerable as a, as a male in our society. And he said, well, that's what's interesting is I don't really consider a lot of my music vulnerable because I have curated it to be exactly what I want it to be. And so that you hear exactly what I want you to hear. It's not me just sharing something off of like the tip of my heart. Like I've worked on this, I've again curated it. And so it's not vulnerable. That's not what I would consider vulnerable. And I was like, thank you for saying that because I feel like that was a very honest answer. And in our world I feel like vulnerability and vulnerable and authenticity. All those words are very big buzzwords. And so people want to appear that way, so they say those words and they try to appear that way to gain whatever it is they're looking for, whether that's attention or connection or admiration or whatever. But a lot of what we're putting out there on social media is curated. Like we've, we've put, we've recorded this video four times until we've got it to look the way we want it to look, or we've written it out before we've said it, or we planned this thing or you know, we forced the tears or whatever. Or we're posting the video of us crying because we want to get something, not because we're open to what true vulnerability is, which is the unknown. Like we don't know what's gonna like to be vulnerable is to say, I don't know what the reaction is gonna be versus when I curate something, I'm expecting the reaction to be like, oh, that was so real or raw or beautiful or whatever.

[Amy]

I want to tell you about Nephi, the only needle free epinephrine nasal spray for those who weigh 33 pounds or more. It's used for the emergency treatment of allergic reactions, including anaphylaxis. Nefi works as well as a needle injector and delivers the same trusted epinephrine. It's designed to be safe and easy to use at the first sign of symptoms. So in a high stress moment, you, your child or someone else can act quickly to treat an allergic reaction, even if you're not there. NEFI is also small, discreet and easy to carry, including in a backpack, lunchbox or sports bag, so your child is prepared anywhere the day takes them. Pay as little as $0 for at least four Nefi devices two packs through the copay Savings Program with commercial insurance if eligible. Patients should not pay more than $199 for NEFI.

[Medical Product Announcer]

If you have medical conditions or take certain medicines, your condition may worsen. Tell your doctor about nasal, heart, thyroid or kidney issues, high blood pressure, Parkinson's, diabetes if you're pregnant or breastfeeding and all medications. Side effects include nasal discomfort, headache, runny nose, shakiness and throat irritation. These are not all side effects.

[Amy]

Does your child need a new epinephrine prescription or refill? Don't wait. Ask a doctor about needle Free Nephi today. Visit nephi.com to learn more. That's n-e F-F-Y.com this message is brought

[Commercial Announcer]

to you by the Capital One Venture X Card. Venture X offers the premium benefits you expect, like a $300 annual Capital One travel credit for less than you expect. Elevate your earn with unlimited double miles on every purchase, bringing you one step closer to your next dream destination. Plus, enjoy access to over 1000 airport lounges worldwide. The Capital One Venture X Card what's in your wallet? Terms Apply Lounge access is subject to change. See capitalone.com for details.

[Amy]

In business, there's no room for guesswork. Every shipment matters. Every deadline counts. When you're trying to keep operations running smoothly, the last thing you need is uncertainty. That's why reliability is at the core of USPS Ground Advantage. From the moment your package is first scanned in, it moves through a secure nationwide network, aiding in a timely and accurate delivery. You get near real time tracking so you can keep up with your shipments. And with affordable upfront pricing, there are no hidden fees or surprise surcharges to throw off your cost sheets. It all adds up to predictable deliveries you can depend on, because knowing your logistics are handled lets you focus on everything else your customers, your team and the future that you're building. Visit USPS.com ground advantage to start shipping with confidence. USPS Ground Advantage when it comes to summer vacations, there are three big questions. Where are you going? What are you doing? And what are you packing? Now that third one? Well, it gets overlooked. But not today. No ma'. Am. Let's get into it. And yes, you can find it all at Macy's. First up, bags. Woven textures are having a whole moment. They've got such a breezy I'm on somebody's island energy. Then you've got a structured tote like the Kate Spade deco suede tulip tote. Still relaxed but a little more polished. Now headscarves. That's how you switch up a look without switching your outfit. Throw one on and keep moving. Steve Madden has some really great options. And yes, jelly sandals are back, but grown and classy this time. Light, translucent, easy to pack. Pair that with some tinted sunglasses and you're giving summer head to toe. Don't forget your beauty must haves like Clarins Lip Comfort Oil or Lancome La Vie Belle. Now go on and enjoy your trip. Shop in store or@macy's.com. Well, it makes me think of when I opened up about my divorce for the first time that had already been going on for over a year.

[Kat]

Yeah, over when you first shared over.

[Amy]

Okay, so I mean the separation and there's still so many details about that that haven't been shared and I don't know if one day they will. But I knew when I was ready to announce it, I knew what I would say and he was aware. My ex husband was aware. I was going to talk about it. The kids were aware. But so many things were already in motion. That information wasn't happening in real time. So part of that felt weird. It didn't feel part of that season, didn't feel authentic because it was something so personal and I wanted to be careful with how I talked about it. And so I wasn't sharing it. So it felt weird to kind of show up and try to do everything that I do and talk about it. Like when I had shared, let's say, probably the first real vulnerable thing that I shared on the radio was when my mom was diagnosed with cancer and I would be doing the show, like from Houston, if she was MD Anderson, I would go into the Houston studio and do it from there. So that was live.

[Kat]

You weren't curating experience.

[Amy]

No, I wasn't curating that. But that was something difficult that I was experiencing that was happening in real time. And listeners knew it was happening in real time because it was like, oh, you know, Amy's not in the studio, she's in Houston. I'm like, oh, yeah, my mom's having. But that was the first hard thing that I shared. But it was happening also in real time. So I guess it also depends on what it is you're sharing and how you're going about it, because that was a situation where that made sense. And my mom was also okay with it. Obviously, there was some stuff, and there was some. We shared some stuff we didn't, and we had support, and then other people were going through it, and then the pimp and joy movement and all of that sort of made sense. But then, you know, fast forward to another really big life event. I was absolutely not sharing anything in real time. Even if I was in a different studio working on something to do with the divorce or whatever the case. Like, I wasn't saying that's what I was doing. So I feel like depending on what the life experience is, some of it might be in real time just because of your. Yeah, like you said, your job or your circumstance and what you're willing to share. And then other stuff you might be learning. Well, after the fact, you think it might be more real time. Like, some people that might have been news to them, and they're like, oh, wow, they're getting a divorce right now and then. But some online sleuths had figured it out well before. I guess there were some people who kind of were onto it or like, oh, I haven't seen her husband in forever.

[Kat]

But that did feel authentic, though. Like, you shared when you were Situations. Yeah, they're different.

[Amy]

Both of those were shared differently, but both felt authentic to me. I'm just saying it felt a little weird.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

When I was in, like, not saying anything, like, having to show up or if listeners would be like, oh, my gosh, how's your husband? Or call in. And like, we just had to, like, divert.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Because I wasn't ready to talk about it or I would still tell stories like, oh, we're, you know. And that felt a little.

[Kat]

Well, and I don't want you to think that I'm saying that you had performative vulnerability.

[Amy]

I didn't take it that way. I don't think I did.

[Kat]

Because. Yeah, I don't think you.

[Amy]

I hope I didn't.

[Kat]

And there's a. There's a. You can. I want people to be vulnerable online to. To an ex. I want them to do it authentically.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

I want us to do that authentically. And I think that's what you did in both of those situations. Is it. It made sense you weren't getting some. You weren't doing it to get this, like, secondary gain that wasn't to just be honest and real.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Does that make sense?

[Amy]

Yeah. I just think that there is, like, JP Sachs Was saying, I think there is something like you're putting out something that's curated. His is art.

[Kat]

Yes. Right.

[Amy]

And then sometimes there's real, live in the moment stuff, which some people, because of the way of the world and social media and all the content that's out there, there's things that can be happening in. In real time, and you just have to gauge. Yeah. Are some people doing it in a performative manner? Yeah, sure. Are some people genuinely just sharing some of their life and hoping that it can be helpful to others and they want support from their community? Okay, sure. I think both of those can be happening. Speaking of exes, my ex husband. I saw this funny thing from the Tinder blog. You can describe your ex as a store, and I'm gonna read these, and I think that you will laugh. Okay.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

A woman asks people to compare their exes to a store, and some of these are a little After Dark. So heads up if your kids are listening. But I don't think they'll be able to figure it out. Okay. Sheen, you know that fast fashion website where people shop. He lied about the size. See After Dark.

[Kat]

A little bit.

[Amy]

Netflix. Because I share with him four other girls and I'm the only one paying. H m. Him and his mom.

[Kat]

I don't get it.

[Amy]

And his mom.

[Kat]

I got it.

[Amy]

Uber. Because everyone got a ride.

[Kat]

These people have terrible exes. Some should be like, I don't know,

[Amy]

Wait for this one. Microsoft. Oh, Micro and soft.

[Kat]

Okay. Dang it.

[Sports Announcer]

Okay.

[Amy]

Apple. Because he updates but never changes. Get it? Like a software update.

[Kat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

[Amy]

Hello, Kitty. Because he said hello to every Kitty. Rolex. Because he rolled back to his ex.

[Kat]

Oh, I've had one of those.

[Amy]

You did? I thought. I thought he went gay. I thought, oh, never. Is that somebody different?

[Kat]

I think that that happened, too. Oh, yeah.

[Amy]

Well, you send somebody back to their ex and you send somebody to the other sex.

[Kat]

I didn't know. No, no. I don't want to say that.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

I've had a lot of interesting relationships. Yep.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

I'm getting hot right now.

[Amy]

Duolingo. Because I never learned my lesson. Starbucks. Because he screamed the wrong name.

[Kat]

Oh, no.

[Amy]

Ikea. He looked amazing at first, but he came with too many issues,

[Kat]

not enough parts.

[Amy]

So.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

I thought that was just kind of.

[Kat]

Nobody has a positive store for their.

[Amy]

Well, then it wouldn't be funny because they're exes.

[Kat]

Right? That wouldn't be funny. It would just be, like, sweet.

[Amy]

Why are you with them? Yeah, what's a cute one like let's do a cute one.

[Kat]

What store that you love?

[Amy]

Like, if you love rei. Ready every intimate time, like, with fresh market.

[Kat]

Why can't I think of, like, he's

[Amy]

so fresh all the time. What's another one? H E B.

[Kat]

Hitting every booty.

[Amy]

Did you know Heb, his last name is Butts. Herbert E. Butts.

[Kat]

Oh, really?

[Amy]

Okay, what's it. What's some pot? What are some positive ones?

[Kat]

I'm just trying to think of a store I like. And you know when, like, you have to think of something. Okay, what do you think of one store I like Target. He hits the door.

[Amy]

What else do we. What stores do we have? Ooh, Chipotle.

[Kat]

He's got a lot of different kinds of chipotle.

[Amy]

I was thinking maybe about the wok tortilla. He can wrap me. I don't know. Hit taco. I'm trying to think of things. Quesadilla.

[Kat]

What does that even mean? You're naming all the things that they

[Amy]

all want you to go with it. First roll of in, like, just go with it.

[Kat]

That's a good. That's a good menu.

[Amy]

Lots to offer. Consistent Chipotle. Because, you know, you're. You always know what you're going to get.

[Kat]

Consistent.

[Amy]

We want a consistent man.

[Kat]

See, sometimes it's not consistent.

[Amy]

Was there spice?

[Kat]

Yeah, you can switch it for spice. Oh, look at you.

[Amy]

Okay, he's consistent with options. Okay, Chipotle. See, we got there. You just have to, like, be patient. What else do we like? Papa John.

[Medical Product Announcer]

Oh, my gosh.

[Kat]

I love Papa John's pizza.

[Amy]

Yeah, the dipping sauce. He's like the butter.

[Kat]

They have the best cheese, I feel like on their pizza. Or like mellow mushroom. They have the best crust. So what's that?

[Amy]

Hello, Mushroom analysis.

[Kat]

He's got a mellow mushroom. Oh, I don't know if that's good.

[Amy]

Hold on. Let's think of a few more. What are some other stores we like? Surely we have to like Home Depot.

[Kat]

Oh, I thought you were saying Home Goods.

[Amy]

Home Depot. He's so handy.

[Kat]

He has all the tools that we ever need.

[Amy]

He has that. That from. From. From the garage to the bedroom to the. To therapy to the mind. I like when they have good therapy tools.

[Kat]

Okay, I was just. I was thinking too literal.

[Amy]

Home.

[Kat]

I thought you were saying home goods. Home goods would be another store to compare them to. I could stay in there for hours.

[Amy]

Yes.

[Commercial Announcer]

See?

[Amy]

Yeah, you're never going to leave there disappointed.

[Kat]

Yeah, you'll always find something extra at the checkout.

[Amy]

You're Never, like, why did I buy this? But you kind of are.

[Kat]

You're always wondering.

[Amy]

Um, I love those videos where people, they go with their friend and they make those little silly videos where they're like, I'm looking for a big size Chinese box that could double as an end table in my living room.

[Kat]

And then it seems.

[Amy]

And then it pans to, like, this random side table Chinese box that you would, like, never see.

[Kat]

Did you see ever those videos where people were collecting, like, from HomeGoods, the, like, food stools? Do you know. Okay, clearly you didn't. So you'll notice them now when you go there. They oftentimes have, like, a stool of, like, a food. Like, it would be like, I don't know, a taco or a margarita. But it's a as big as, like, a nightstand. And so there's a lot of people that collect those. So if you find one, post it because somebody's probably looking for it.

[Amy]

Okay. You might be able to make some money.

[Kat]

Doesn't really look like your vibe of your house.

[Amy]

No. What about Chick Fil A? It's always his pleasure. Or my pleasure. My pleasure.

[Kat]

Well, they say it's my pleasure, but it's always his pleasure. Or he's like, no, it really would be my main.

[Amy]

Like, Chick fil a. It's always.

[Kat]

But you want it to be my pleasure, so you. It's always my pleasure.

[Amy]

Okay. It's always my pleasure.

[Kat]

That's good.

[Amy]

That's another good one.

[Kat]

Chick Fil A.

[Amy]

Well, we should end there.

[Kat]

Yeah. Unless you guys have some more positive ones. Send them our way. Yeah, maybe it should be. How would you describe your current partner as a story.

[Amy]

Krispy Kreme.

[Kat]

You just couldn't wait to get that. I just thought of it. So what's the tagline and the donut hole?

[Amy]

I don't know. He's always. I always do the hole to his donut. Wait, no, no, no. He's the donut. Okay. Shannon's saying we need to wrap it up. We've gone too far. I told you it was a little after dark.

[Kat]

If you have a positive store for your man. For your current partner.

[Amy]

Yeah. Or your. Maybe if you're a guy listening or. No. Well, I mean, if you have a positive relationship with your ex.

[Kat]

Yeah, yeah, let us know. Taco Bell always rings my bell.

[Amy]

Makes me want to run for the border. That'd be negative.

[Kat]

That's good.

[Amy]

McDonald's. Oh, what's Burger King's? Have it your way.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

McDonald's is. I'm loving it.

[Kat]

Yeah. So this both would work and they could both not work. You say I'm never loving it. Or it was I never had it my way. Oh yeah, yeah.

[Amy]

It's a lot easier to be negative.

[Kat]

It really is. And I think that's a problem in our world.

[Amy]

We'll work on that.

[Kat]

Solve that next week.

[Amy]

Okay, y' all can email us hey [e-mail] or give us a call 877-207-2077 and and have the day you need to have.

[Kat]

Bye bye Foreign.

[Sports Announcer]

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[Amy]

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[Kat]

Guaranteed human.