FEELING THINGS - 6 People Who Quietly Drain Your Energy, Over-Apologizing & Semen Jewelry (Yes, Really)

Summary

The Bobby Bones Show: “FEELING THINGS” – 6 People Who Quietly Drain Your Energy, Over-Apologizing & Semen Jewelry (Yes, Really)

Date: July 31, 2026
Hosts: Amy & Cat
Episode Theme: Exploring the quirks of home life, managing energy-draining relationships, personal growth, and the wild world of modern dating and, yes, semen jewelry.

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Overview

In this lively and candid episode, Amy and Cat delve into the messiness of home organization obsessions, outline the six types of people who drain your energy (“energy vampires”), unpack survival strategies like over-apologizing, and take a not-so-serious look at the viral trend of semen jewelry. The discussion then shifts to dating fatigue, “crush recession,” and modern matchmaking, ending on thoughtful notes about self-worth in relationships and healthy dating perspectives.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Home Organization, Perfectionism & the “Musical Chairs” Syndrome

Timestamp: [03:08]–[14:45]

• Amy describes endless furniture rearrangement:

  “I was feeling a little scattered about my furniture, playing musical chairs…one room not feeling complete, so then I’ll, you know, rob Peter to pay Paul. And then Peter’s like, ‘Ah, I’m missing a chair.’” – Amy ([03:20])

• The hosts joke about furniture “disorder” and how Amy always needs a project—yet emphasizes she’s not as obsessive as her designer sister:

  “My sister will get out a tape measure and measure her curtains from the wall…when she’s tidying her house, she might measure that.” – Amy ([10:09])

• Cat reflects on her own nesting urge and struggles to avoid “catch-all” clutter spots—a recurring theme for those trying to maintain neat homes.

2. Hilarious Banter & Relatable Quirks

Timestamp: [11:12]–[12:29]

• Amy defends her use of the word “chillax”:

  “Did you just say maybe? … Did you just… Is that not a thing? Wait, is that not a word?”
  “Chillax originated in 1994 and you’ve been using it ever since.” – Amy & Cat ([11:12]–[12:29])

• The pair poke fun at each other's idiosyncrasies, balancing honesty and kindness.

3. De-Cluttering & Sentimental Attachments

Timestamp: [14:50]–[20:45]

• The conversation turns to the emotional difficulty of letting go of objects, especially after moving or losing loved ones:

  “One takeaway from losing both of my parents is…our kids don’t need to inherit our checkbooks from the 70s.” – Amy ([17:35])

• Cat grapples with nostalgia:

  “What if my daughter wants this one day? …But then there’s the part of me that wants to get rid of everything.” – Cat ([18:20])

4. The 6 People Who Quietly Drain Your Energy (“Energy Vampires”)

Timestamp: [20:36]–[26:20]

• Cat runs down the classic “energy vampires” list:
  1. Constant Critic: Nothing is ever good enough ([21:04])
  2. Chronic Victim: Life is always happening ‘to’ them ([21:30])
  3. Emotional Dumper: Constant crisis/emergency ([24:06])
  4. Competitor: Your wins are threats, not celebrations ([24:06])
  5. Fake Supporter: Public cheer, private sabotage ([24:06])
  6. Guilt Tripper: Everything is your fault ([24:46])
• Amy notes how these “types” can show up as family members or coworkers, making boundaries harder to enforce:

  “It’s honestly easier if it’s a coworker…but if it’s a mom or sister…how do I learn how to live with these people in my life?” – Cat ([25:55])

5. Survival Strategies & Personality Types

Timestamp: [26:13]–[31:59]

• The hosts discuss common “survival strategies” developed in response to difficult relationships: over-explaining, peacemaking, over-apologizing, avoiding confrontation, replaying conversations, brushing off compliments.
• They connect these to Enneagram types (e.g., Cat as a 7, her sister as a 9/peacemaker).

  “Some of those behaviors may seem normal…but they are actually survival strategies for us.” – Cat ([26:20])

6. Growth, Acceptance, and Therapy

Timestamp: [31:59]–[39:44]

• Amy shares that she’s worked on over-explaining, with her therapist identifying it as a way to control outcomes—a “codependent” habit ([32:46]):

  “If I over explain, that helps me control how you’re…how the outcome and how I’m perceived and how the other person is going to respond instead of surrendering that to the other person.” – Amy ([33:00])

• Cat and Amy discuss the process and anxiety that comes with dialling back this habit, showing real-life attempts at self-improvement.

7. Inside Baseball & Segment Creation

Timestamp: [42:11]–[45:07]

• Cat suggests adding more regular show segments (“benchmarks”), and they brainstorm ideas.
• They introduce the idea of a “Wait to Worry” segment, sharing stories where worry turned out to be unnecessary ([44:50]):

  “If you have a wait to worry story…send it to us. And that can be like our monthly wait to worry…shows it’s other people. That waiting to worry works.” – Cat ([44:50])

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8. Questions That Don’t Come Up: The Semen Jewelry Segment

Timestamp: [45:38]–[56:22]

• Amy asks Cat if she’d wear semen jewelry:

  “Would you ever wear semen jewelry?” – Amy ([45:38])

• Shock and laughter ensue as Amy explains how the jewelry is made:

  “She takes the contribution from the man and turns it into a powder…mixed into clay…and then forms it into a piece of jewelry.” – Amy ([50:52])

• Cat wonders about sentimental value:

  “Okay. Not for, I don’t want to wear this, but I need to know a scenario in which this would be the sentimental thing somebody chooses...” – Cat ([53:00])

  • They suggest (half-jokingly) scenarios like cancer treatment where it might make odd sense.
• Notable quote:

  “There really is a market for everything, if you think about it.” – Amy ([54:17])

• The ladies eventually agree that it’s not for them and express disbelief at the market for “Jizzlery”.

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9. Modern Dating Fatigue: The “Crush Recession”

Timestamp: [56:22]–[65:51]

• Cat introduces “crush recession”—people becoming less interested in dating due to burnout ([56:22]), connecting it to “solo maxing” and dating app fatigue.
• Data:

  “53% of singles reported dating burnout, 46% took breaks, and 63 noticed more passivity in making the first move. Data has also shown that dating app use and marriage rates have been falling.” – Cat ([58:00])

• The two banter about the evolution of matchmaking; Cat dreams up a matchmaking business using psychological insight and databases ([59:08]–[66:26]).

  “Because I’m good at understanding people’s psyches…I just feel like that would be so fun, and I feel like I could be good at it.” – Cat ([59:49])

• Amy describes seeing TikTok matchmaker “bachelor alerts” for real men.

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10. Knowing Your Worth & Behavioral Self-Respect

Timestamp: [67:12]–[70:14]

• Amy closes with an inspirational post from real-life matchmaker Tiffany:

  “People throw around the phrase ‘know your worth’ like it’s a mindset. It’s not. It’s a behavior…Most people don’t get hurt because they ignored red flags. They get hurt because they explained them away.” – Amy reading Matchmaker Tiffany ([67:40])

• Cat reinforces not lowering standards but prioritizing the right things in a partner.

11. Post-Date Reflections, Abuse Awareness, & Book Recs

Timestamp: [70:14]–[74:36]

• Cat references Hinge scientist Logan Ury and her practical “post-date 8” questions to evaluate future matches ([71:17]).
• Amy discusses “emotionally abusive” relationships, touching on the importance of feeling genuinely attractive and secure around a partner.

  “He would say things like, have you showered today?... She, she smelled fine. It was his tactic to abuse her in that way.” – Amy ([74:08])

• Book recommendations:
  • Part of Your World & Yours Truly by Abby Jimenez ([72:25])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I almost wish I was with some of [my sister’s] design stuff…” – Amy ([12:30])
• “Some of those behaviors may seem normal…but they are actually survival strategies for us.” – Cat ([26:20])
• “Stop trying to convince people you’re worth choosing. Start paying attention to who’s already acting like it.” – Amy quoting Matchmaker Tiffany ([68:01])
• “There really is a market for everything, if you think about it.” – Amy ([54:17])
• “Crush recession…people are less getting less likely to go out and date and getting less excited about dating.” – Cat ([56:40])

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Highlight Timestamps

• 03:08 – Start of home organization banter, “musical chairs”
• 10:09 – Curtain measuring story, designer sister
• 20:36 – Introduction of energy-draining people (“energy vampires”)
• 26:13 – Survival strategies and personal quirks
• 32:46 – Over-explaining as a survival strategy
• 45:38 – Semen jewelry question and ensuing discussion
• 56:22 – On “crush recession” and modern dating trends
• 67:40 – Self-worth is a behavior, not a mindset (Matchmaker Tiffany quote)
• 71:17 – Post-date reflection questions and abusive relationships awareness

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Takeaways

• Everyone has quirks—sometimes harmless, sometimes symptoms of deeper survival strategies.
• Boundaries are important with energy-draining people, especially when it's family.
• The modern dating landscape is shifting; fatigue is real, but healthy self-worth and clear priorities matter most.
• And yes, there truly is a market for everything—semen jewelry included.

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This episode delivers real talk, wit, and warmth—perfect for listeners looking for both relatable struggles and practical advice, with plenty of laughs along the way.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

BRO Ladies and fellas, we just follow

[B]

in the spirit where it tell us

[A]

from the real stuff to the chill

[B]

stuff and the in between.

[A]

Sometimes the best things thing you can

[B]

do it just now and feel things.

[A]

This is Feeling Things with Amy and Cat.

[B]

Happy Tuesday. Welcome to Feeling Things. I'm Amy.

[A]

And I'm. And I'm Cat.

[B]

Cake. I don't know what that was.

[A]

Are you just playing around with intros?

[B]

I don't know. Okay. Just Amy. Okay. I am feeling curious.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And that has to do with something else that's going on in my house with my furniture. But before we started recording, Kat was going to diagnose me with some sort of disorder because I was feeling a little scattered about my furniture at my house, playing musical chairs, moving some stuff around. Like, one room not feeling complete. So then I'll, you know, rob Peter to pay Paul. And then Peter's like, ah, I'm missing a chair. So I. I feel a little scattered. But now I'm curious as to what you're trying to diagnose me with.

[A]

Well, okay. I wasn't. I don't know that I'm really trying to diagnose you. I just was kind of joking and was like, what's the disorder where you can't just relax in your house and have it be done? Because I'm not even making this up. I told you this yesterday. Could have actually been this morning, but I think it was yesterday. I was talking to Patrick because we're doing a room in our house, a nursery, and it's making me put pause on all these other projects. And I was talking to Patrick about, like, how I want our house to look, and I was like, well, Amy's house, just as perfect.

[B]

Well, I think, like, it looks perfect. Not accurate, but thank you.

[A]

And it. It's all, like, it all goes in my. This is my opinion.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Which I don't sit here and look at everything every day, but, like, everything flows and goes and.

[B]

But, like, doesn't go because I don't want matchy matchy.

[A]

Right, right. But, like, it. That is a skill to be able to buy things that go. That don't go so difficult. Like, I'm struggling in a nursery with different furniture pieces because I'm like, I'm buying them all in the same color, and then they go too much that they don't go, you know? Yeah, I'm out of breath talking, but.

[B]

So I might have some sort of disorder where I need a project all the time. And then I looked at you and I was like, whatever. I haven't done anything in since we went to Arizona and I had my laundry room floors done. Yeah. But really before that, it's been a minute.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then now I'm going to maybe move full steam ahead on a couple of projects that are an investment in my home.

[A]

Yeah. I think it's just interesting for me because I'm like, I want this to look just like this. And you're like, no, I want to change this. So to me, something's, like, perfect. But to you, you're like, no, this. Different strokes for different folks kind of thing. But okay. I don't really like where you put your chairs.

[B]

No, I'm not gonna leave those there. Okay. I just needed them off the wall because they were up against the wall, and they're chairs you can spin around in. And what I've learned, I think, is those chairs are too big for the space. So I don't know what I'm gonna do with them. But where they were, you can't. You can't spin around in them. And I wanna be able to sit in those chairs and twirl around. What's going on over there? Oh, what'd you say? And I turn. What's going. Oh, what?

[A]

What?

[B]

Oh, you wanna sit by the fire? Spin around. But where they were up against the wall, which. I loved them. They're these green leather chairs, and they're under this smoking goat picture. I don't know what kind of animal it is. Actually, it's not a goat.

[A]

Is it a deer? Is it antelope?

[B]

Like a deer? Maybe it's an antelope. Maybe it's a smoking antelope or something. And the chairs are under it. It looks really cute, but then you're like. It's almost like the chairs aren't getting to be what they're meant to be. It'd be like, if we're in a straight jacket and we can't go anywhere, these chairs are like, we were born to move. And we're like, we can't do anything. So I need to move them. Maybe they need to move rooms. That's what I'm saying. I might move my living room couch to the game room, and then the game room couch to the Facebook Marketplace. And then the green chairs maybe could go up there, maybe not. Do the green chairs go into my bedroom? Maybe then I can spin all around in there.

[A]

You have a little sitting room in your bedroom.

[B]

Yeah. I'll be like, do I want to see what's to the left of my Room to the right, out the window, and I can spin around. I have more freedom.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But then I have chairs in my bedroom. Where do those go? So you see how this becomes a musical chairs. Maybe the chairs in my bedroom go better in the living room, but not with the current couch. So that's the disorder I have.

[A]

Yeah. Where, like, I would have just kept them against the wall. What? I get the problem.

[B]

I get it. And I. Stevenson and I were moving all this furniture around ourselves this weekend, and props to him. He's been doing a conditioning class for cross country where he's lifting weights. And it is paying off. I now have my little helper. Because what I really need is a honey to do my honey do list.

[A]

Okay. Okay.

[B]

And I don't have a honey right now, but if I had a honey, I would do that honeydew hack that you see people post about online where they're like, just tell your man that you're. You're having people over and give them a to do list. Because they love to check off a list before companies coming over and have em tackle everything and then be like, oh, it's canceled. Nobody's coming. But then the honey do list is done.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I need a. I need a honey.

[A]

Well, you said you wanted to start lifting weights.

[B]

Yeah, I lifted a lot this weekend. My furniture.

[A]

I don't know that that that hack would work for me. I think my husband would be like, it's fine. My friends don't care.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

Unless it was like, we're hosting, like, an actual. I don't know, like a party of sorts.

[B]

That's what I mean.

[A]

But like you say, when are we doing.

[B]

We're putting on a party, we're having people over.

[A]

Then he'd be like, we gotta go to Costco and get some stuff.

[B]

Okay, well, then you got snacks for days too.

[A]

You are prepared. Yeah.

[B]

So that's the honeydew hack.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

If you have a honey. If not, you have to, like, convince yourself, I'm having a party. I'm having people over. Even though you're not.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then you're like, I need to act as if. Because nothing whips me into shape around my house than company if I know people are coming over. Like a hosting a thing, not just a friend stopping by. There are some people. I don't know what disorder that is, but if. If one person is coming by, like, they have to have everything perfect. I'm not like that. But if I'm having people over, I want to have it your House is

[A]

always clean, though where I see it's a little.

[B]

I was just out there in between us filming a couple of things. I was trying to tidy some things.

[A]

Well, right now it's. Things are in random places because you've been moving things. But I think your version of your house not in order and my version of my house in order are the same thing.

[B]

I'm sure my type of energy around the house is probably an energy suck because I can be a little particular.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I like my roommates because listen to this. This is where I. Then I'm like, no, no, I'm normal. Because my sister will get out a tape measure and measure her curtains from the wall.

[A]

But what. That sounds normal.

[B]

Not to hang her curtains when she's opening them. Yes, of course. When you're hanging them. I'm saying when she's tidying her house, she might. And I'm not saying she does this every time. She's just been known to. Like, if she's opening the curtains and she wants them fluffed and positioned just right, you know, she might measure that. Well.

[A]

Okay. I'm gonna give her the grace because she's like a designer. I mean, she is.

[B]

Yeah. Some of it has to do with her. Her trying to control.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

A situation.

[A]

Would she. Would she agree to that?

[B]

I think yes. I'm repeating what I've heard from her and maybe she's chillaxed a little because they have people in and out of their house all the time.

[A]

Did you just say maybe?

[B]

Yeah, I said chillax.

[A]

Did you just.

[B]

Is that not a thing? Wait, is that not a word?

[A]

I've heard you say it. Chillax. I'm sorry. It's not that funny.

[B]

It's combining like two.

[A]

I know what it is. I know.

[B]

Chill, then relax. Relax.

[A]

Yeah, I get that. I just was shocked that that's the word you chose. It just doesn't seem like it's.

[B]

Because I thought it was very fitting for that.

[A]

Like it was part of your normal vocabulary.

[B]

I guess it is.

[A]

Versus I like, the only ever time I would think you would say that would be kind of like a joke. I'm sorry, that is Caught me.

[B]

Okay, now my eyes are watering.

[A]

Okay, maybe she's chillaxed. I think normally you would say maybe she's relaxed a little, but you just threw that in there.

[B]

Maybe she has.

[A]

And then brushed past it. You could use that word. Sorry, sorry. I don't want you to be self conscious.

[B]

She has caught. Maybe she has calmed down a little bit on that area.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Shannon just looked up chillax originated in 1994 and you've been using it ever since. So I. I don't know. That's just what the word that came to me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I'm not like her in that. I almost wish I was with some of her design stuff because then things I could be positioned in the right way. I really could channel some of that energy because here's what would happen right now. You see how I move things around my living room and it's like nothing makes sense. If she were to come over and move things around, I would be like, what I never thought in every scenario to put that chair right there or not even that. To put that tiny drink dropper right there. Because that's changing everything.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you know I love a good drink dropper.

[A]

Yeah. I bought the same drink dropper as you.

[B]

Oh, guys, we got a drink dropper off Amazon. That is so cute. It looks like nothing else that you have. So therefore it goes. Yes.

[A]

I will say I had a hot glue mine.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, but it's from Amazon.

[A]

So it.

[B]

But you. It doesn't look like it's from Amazon.

[A]

No.

[B]

And it's so easy to assemble. I don't know why you had a hot glue yours, but mine just screwed on.

[A]

Well, the screw was part of it warped. Yeah. But my sister in law is like that too. Where she actually came to my. She helped me to figure out where to put my drink dropper in my living room. And she helped me be like, oh, you have a lot of circular pieces in here. You love circles, it seems. And I was like, I do. She's like, well, it seems like you do because it's. Every piece of furniture is circular. You need to put a square piece right here or you need a wreck. You need to switch this one circle for a rectangle and it will change the whole space. And I'm like, I never would have thought that because I picked out some circular side tables I was going to go pick up. And she said, don't do that.

[B]

So you need to diversify your shapes. Yes. I'm sure it can be annoying for my kids when I'm wanting to tidy up or keep things clean because I feel better. Like put in a podcast or an audiobook. And I just. It's like an energizer bunny and go. Now I will have my piles that are hidden where people like most of my closet. And I'll just keep adding to that pile, but at least it's not somewhere else. My closet I feel like nobody would see, so it's fine. Or I have some closets I'll just throw stuff into.

[A]

How do you not have, like, a pile in your kitchen then? How do you not have, like, a pile in your kitchen, though?

[B]

I do sometimes. And then I transfer it.

[A]

Or. Here's a question, because this is an issue I have. We have like a little. It used to be, I think, a desk back in the day. Our house was built in, I think the early 2000s, and everybody used to have these little desks in the kitchen. That has become a catch all. I made it look like a little cute bar, but now it's a catch all. And it's like mail. It's like car keys. It's random lip gloss. It's a pair of sunglasses. It's a book that I started and didn't finish. It's whatever. Whatever. That doesn't have a home. It just goes there. What do you do?

[B]

I have a junk drawer.

[A]

The junk drawer is underneath. Oh, so the junk drawers, like you just.

[B]

So I have. And I have like a little section, like a door that sometimes. With a bowl in there. And I. The bowl is behind the door. Like a cabinet, like a glass. I think it's originally where I want my espresso machine to go. But anyway, you put it there, that coffee nook, and there's a bowl, and I just throw stuff in there. So I think it's like having little systems that work for you. Like you could find. Have you seen the people that have the. The catch all for their purse? Like a purse insert? Yeah, that's a little bag that makes it easy to transfer all of your. I have one of those purse essentials. Or to your point, by the front door or your garage door. Wherever you're in and out of. You have like a lipstick, a purse gloss bowl, or a purse bowl. And everything gets dumped into that bowl. That way you just dump it or grab whichever lip gloss you need when you're walking out the door. And it just makes life more convenient.

[A]

I think that that was my intention because I have a plate on that desk and. But it's become a catch all for other things.

[B]

Everything. Everything. Yeah.

[A]

Which I've been trying to. I'm in the nesting phase, which I feel like you just are a nester, I guess, like, you don't go through a phase, but in a nesting phase. And I didn't really understand that. Like, what do you mean, nesting? All I want to do is clean out closets in, like, drawers in my house. It's all I want to do. And I just want to throw everything in my house away. You don't get that?

[B]

No, I get that. Like I've done that. Or donate or.

[A]

Yeah, hopefully I'll donate the things that are donatable, but I just am like, how did I get this much? I just moved. I just moved. How do I have this much stuff? And from a small house, mind you.

[B]

Yeah. I think one takeaway from losing both of my parents is that I have is when we are able bodied and young and we need to sift through our stuff. Our kids don't need to inherit our,

[A]

like, checkbooks from the 70s. My grandmother kept every single. What are they called? Like the register or whatever, where you used to balance a checkbook. She kept every single one she's ever had.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

So I could go through them and be like, this is what she was buying.

[B]

That might be cool to see, maybe

[A]

for three of them.

[B]

But then I get old.

[A]

Yeah, she kept every single one. So here's, here's my issue though. This is my issue because I can get in this, like black and white where I can be very nostalgic. My mom likes to keep things and I have that part where I'm like, what if my daughter wants this one day? Or yeah, what if this would be cool for somebody to look through when I'm dead? But then there's the part of me that I want to get rid of.

[B]

Everything.

[A]

And then I have nothing for people to like, look back on my life. So how.

[B]

I think there's a fine balance. I mean, well, okay, photos, real memories, mementos. But yeah, this one thing that you ordered on Amazon, that's a piece of junk that you probably shouldn't keep. Are there any of those items?

[A]

Yeah, but I'm like, clothes sometimes are hard or like purses I think about. So I'm either. Either keeping them all because I'm like, this will be cool when my daughter's 15 to have this vintage purse. But then like, yeah, also, what if it's ugly? But also, like, but how many purses

[B]

do you actually have? Is it like a lot?

[A]

I have a bin of purses, but I only use like two of them. I haven't used them in years.

[B]

But I could help you go through them maybe. I mean, that might be a thing where you ask a friend, like, hey, can you help me go through these?

[A]

Last time, what happened?

[B]

Well, that was. I wasn't there.

[A]

Right. So you have.

[B]

So I cannot be lumped in.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

With that.

[A]

The last time I Did this. I cried.

[B]

With friends.

[A]

With friends. But I cried. So I need you to be gentle.

[B]

I would be gentle. And I would encourage you to keep one. Keep some of the bags. Like, one of my favorite bags that I carry when I go out is a clutch my mom had from, who knows, 70s or 80s. And I love it, and I'm so glad that she had that. But I will say she did have a ton of stuff in her garage, in her attic that my sister and I had to sift through that just wasn't.

[A]

You're never gonna. People have those rules that are like, if you haven't worn it in a year, get rid of it. Or if you haven't used it in a year, get rid of it. But then, you know. You know, as soon as you get rid of it, you're gonna be like, where is that 3 centimeter Allen wrench that I just threw away? I need one now. I have to go to Lowe's and buy one.

[B]

Yeah, well, you could put that in a toolbox. Like, just have. It's just, like, for.

[A]

You're helping me keep stuff.

[B]

Well, you might need that. You might need the Allen wrench. Yeah. So I think it just.

[A]

It's.

[B]

I don't know, it can get overwhelming and. But when my house is out of order, I feel like you reorganize. Is getting, like, sucked out of me. Which, speaking of draining energy, I have the six types of people who will

[A]

suck it out of you.

[B]

Yeah, what do they call those energy vampires? Drain it right out of you. The Constant critic, the chronic victim, the emotional dumper, the competitor, the fake supporter, and the guilt tripper.

[A]

Wait, are we going to look and see if we're one of these?

[B]

Well, I can go through them all in a little more detail. Like the Constant Critic. Nothing is ever good enough. So if you have a critic like that in your life, you should stop seeking their approval because it's not available and it hasn't been and it likely will not be. So just know, like, okay, this is

[A]

who they are, so don't go to them for these things.

[B]

The Chronic victim. Life is always happening to them. You can empathize once or twice, and then if you start to see the pattern, you're like, okay, this is just how they are. You don't have to, like, play into it every time.

[A]

They're also the people that you might want to rescue and find solutions for, but they don't want solutions. So that's really what drains a lot

[B]

of your energy, because they're not speaking the same.

[A]

I want to help you, so I'm giving you all these ideas or whatever, but they want to be. They want to stay there. So that is really. Can be frustrating for. For sure. That's one that I actually, I'm. We all play the victim at certain times. We all do that. But I know we've only gone through two. But I really don't want to be that one.

[B]

I know. I don't either. And I hope if I am that a friend would let me know, but that would be hard or like, hey, you are you, but I know you're not. It's a fine line if you have a trusted friend that maybe if, you know, you tend to go to victim mode quick, you could maybe ask a friend, like, hey, I realize this about me, that I tend to shift to victim.

[A]

You know, recently I asked. I told you. I was like, I'm trying to be more positive. I feel like I'm always, like, complaining about things. How have I been?

[B]

Pretty good.

[A]

Okay, thanks.

[B]

Me. You don't like where I put my chairs.

[A]

But that wasn't me, like, complaining about,

[B]

like, I'm just joking.

[A]

And the chairs can't stay there.

[B]

I know. But I do like how I could swirl around in them.

[A]

Right. But they're right under the tv. Would have to.

[B]

Well, if they're right by the fireplace. So I know it's summer and we're not building a fire.

[A]

What do you do more often? Stare at the fireplace or watch tv?

[B]

Yeah, they're not staying there. Don't worry.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Just letting you know. I liked being able to spin around them. Like I said. What did they say? With people that go to victim mode a lot? They speak Victim me.

[A]

I've never heard that. Is that what the people say?

[B]

That's what I've heard. I don't know if there's anything victimies like, sensitive about that. Victim. Yeah. Like a language. They speak their own language.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

They speak, like, victim me. Like, every time they talk, they're the victim.

[A]

What would be offensive?

[B]

I don't know. Because it sounded like another language. Vietnamese, Chinese. But it's not related to that at all. Victim Meese.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know. I. I was just trying to be.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I want.

[A]

I think that's okay to say.

[B]

Okay. Thank you.

[A]

Yeah. I think there's other things that people say. Like when people speak Christianese or something like that.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

See? Okay. Thank you for.

[A]

But I haven't heard Victimies.

[B]

Victimies, the emotional dumper. Always in crisis. Always an Emergency happening. You can care for them without carrying the entire weight. The competitor. Your wins are threats, not celebrations. Stop sharing your wins with people who treat them as threats. The fake supporter. They cheer so loud for you in public, but sabotage quietly in private. Watch people do when your back is turned. Why are you making that face?

[A]

Because this sounds like this list. I'm just like, oh, like, yes, these people exist. But that just sounds so harsh.

[B]

I know. The guilt tripper. This is the last one. Everything somehow becomes your fault. Their feelings are there are theirs to carry. So you need to let them do that. And you know what I think about with some of these people? Like, I also, I. I don't know why I can't speak.

[A]

I instantly relax and maybe you'll be able to speak.

[B]

I instantly think of friendships.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But you know, there are people where this is a mom, this is a dad, this is a sibling, this is a spouse.

[A]

I was thinking more co workers like, or. Yeah. Colleague.

[B]

Or maybe someone's a little more distant.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But some people have to live.

[A]

This is their mother. Yes. Yeah. I was talking about this with a friend who had somebody in her life that it's like a mom daughter relationship. That it feels like they're living their life through their children. So there's a lot of the, like, yeah. The competition and also emotional dumping. Dumping. So, yeah, it's easier if it's a friend.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But because I can had to cut. I can create some boundaries and I can separate myself. It's honestly easier if it's a coworker. I might not work at this job forever, but if it's a mom or sister and they're. You don't want to sever that relationship. Then it's like, how do I learn how to live with these people in my life?

[B]

Well, and that's when we pick up, like, if you have been around it a lot, we pick up different behaviors that seem sort of normal.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But then they are actually survival strategies for us. And some of those behaviors that may seem normal. And again, these are actually can be normal behaviors. Some of this stuff I'm gonna list you might do. And it doesn't mean that this is a survival strategy.

[A]

Doesn't mean that your mom is a competitor.

[B]

Right. Or a guilt tripper or chronic victimhood in your house being easygoing all the time someone that might be their survival strategy. So they don't ever speak up and say what they want to do or their share their side of things over apologizing, always being the peacemaker. Over explaining Yourself. That's something that I used to do a lot, but I've worked on it. Brushing off compliments, never asking for help, avoiding confrontation, struggling to make decisions, reading people's mood before speaking, laughing off hurtful comments, feeling anxious when things feel too good, and replaying conversations in your head. Those behaviors can be very normal. And also they can be survival strategies.

[A]

They can get in the way. This. As you started reading this, I started thinking about the Enneagram, because I was just thinking about. I think I'm a seven.

[B]

You're a seven, right? I feel like you are. You're such a good time. Oh, my gosh.

[A]

That's so nice.

[B]

Yeah. And you're looking forward to a good time.

[A]

Well, I think I'm a seven. But there sometimes I'm like, my fear is everybody. Not everybody. A lot of people want to be a seven. So I'm like, I hope that I really am. And I am not just, like, agreeing to these things. I'm like, yeah, being a seven is kind of sick, you know, because there's also other. Like, I resonate with a six a lot. Which I just say, I'm a seven wing six, and I resonate with an eight a lot.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, anyway, me bringing that up is because as you're talking about this, especially, like, the first one, being really easygoing all the time reminds me of a nine, which. They're the peacemaker.

[B]

My sister's a nine. And some of hers is a survival strategy.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so there's these, like. What? What?

[B]

You have to keep bringing up all my sister stuff. Sorry. Hey, Christy, you and your sister need to talk. No, she would say. She would say any of this, but it just came to my mind.

[A]

But the. The nine is a peacemaker. And how you. How you develop, if you're not familiar with Enneagram, it's just like a personality typing system. It's very helpful. It's very interesting. You say it.

[B]

Well, I should have thought about how, because she's so easygoing, you bring up your sister again. Well, because when you say that, I'm like, okay, yeah, she's a peacemaker, and she's so easygoing, and I think that's why she measures the freaking curtains.

[A]

Oh, it's where she's a 9 wing one or something in her life.

[B]

No, with, like, all the situations she keeps quiet. And so she's gonna go over and measure the curtain to the couch and make sure the couch is in the right spot and the curtains are pulled back to the right spot. Because that part she can control without ruffling anybody else's feathers.

[A]

That. That. Yeah, that's her own stuff. Versus that impacts. You're picking up all. Yeah.

[B]

What do people do?

[A]

Is that what the. Is that the fingers they do?

[B]

Clock it.

[A]

That's what it is. Oh, fingers.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Maybe it's.

[B]

Sorry, I only know cool things from 1994, but I think in 2026, they're saying, what finger is it?

[A]

Is it. It's in there. It's this one. You were doing it, right?

[B]

Clock it.

[A]

Okay,

[B]

cool.

[A]

Okay, back to what I was saying. Okay. Though how you develop your type is like how your personality develops is based on one part of. It's your temperament. You're born with some parts of yourselves that are innate, but then your environment. And so I'm reacting to the environment, and these are the things that help I develop these traits in order to survive in the world and get through the world. Some of those traits are great and they're going to be part of your personality forever. And they're wonderful. Part of those traits get in the way. And so when you said, like, some of these things can be normal too, it doesn't mean anything. Well, some of these traits also don't need to be shifted. So I think when we think about. A lot of times, when you think about this is why I am the way I am, it feels like if it. What if it started because of, you know, there being chaos in my family, well, then I must. I need to change that because it started because of something not great, but not necessarily. Some of those things might be working for you. It's only if those things are impacting the quality of your life and your relationships, do we really need to shift them? And I say that because I think sometimes we get too hard on ourselves and we want to, like, better ourselves and continue to change. And if I have these traits, I need to shift them and I need to be my best self. And sometimes. Well, no, all the times our best selves include things that aren't perfect, our little quirks. And the way we get a. It makes us who we are. So, yes, if your sister is not able to communicate with people and she is not able to get her needs met because she's being a peacemaker. And that's then why she's measuring curtains. I want her to look at that stuff. But if she just measure. If the measuring of the curtains isn't really impacting her life in a negative way, then, like, go off, you know,

[B]

clock it clock it, measure the curtains. Well my over explaining. I can't remember what my therapist said that was about me. I cannot, I was sitting here trying to think of the root of where that's understood from. Possibly I think there was a little more to it. But I, but I realized what I'm doing and I try to dial back like I'll type something out if I'm texting someone and I'll be like, okay, are all of these words necessary? Like I don't think I need to do all of this. So I'll shorten it and dial it back.

[A]

And it gives you some anxiety about like you can't, you almost can't like say what you want to say because you're so worried about how they're going to interpret it. So that impacts you.

[B]

But if you, I think, well, you finished your thought.

[A]

Oh no. Did you agree with what I said or.

[B]

Yes, I agree with what you said. And then I had a thought of what my therapist said because it just came. I've been trying to remember and I know she said something about me wanting to control outcomes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And if I over explain that helps me control how you're. How the outcome and how I'm perceived and how the other person is going to respond instead of surrendering that to the other person. So some of that was some codependent behavior. But I wasn't okay with just like not knowing what.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

How someone might receive something. I want to make sure they had all of the details so they could know exactly where I'm coming from. It's like that's exhausting. I want to tell you about nefi, the only needle free epinephrine nasal spray for those who weigh 33 pounds or more. It's used for the emergency treatment of allergic reactions, including anaphylaxis. Nephi works as well as a needle injector and delivers the same trusted epinephrine. It's designed to be safe and easy to use at the first sign of symptoms. So in a high stress moment, your child or someone else can act quickly to treat an allergic reaction, even if you're not there. NEFI is also small, discreet and easy to carry, including in a backpack, lunchbox or sports bag, so your child is prepared anywhere the day takes them. Pay as little as $0 for at least four Nefi devices, two packs through the Copay Savings program with commercial insurance if eligible patients should not pay more than $199 for NEFI. If you have medical conditions or take certain medicines, your condition may worsen. Tell your doctor about nasal, heart, thyroid or kidney issues, high blood pressure, Parkinson's, diabetes if you're pregnant or breastfeeding and all medications. Side effects include nasal discomfort, headache, runny nose, SH and throat irritation. These are not all side effects. Does your child need a new epinephrine prescription or refill? Don't wait. Ask a doctor about needle free Nefy today. Visit nefy.com to learn more. That's N-E-F-F-Y.com Health insurance should make getting care easier, but sometimes it can feel like the opposite. That's why UnitedHealthcare is committed to putting care at the heart of health insurance. We with empathy, transparency and real human connection. I mean, doesn't care feel different when it's personal? When you can tell that the person on the other end of the phone, the screen and the Service genuinely cares? UnitedHealthcare is working to make that happen every day. They're also helping people make healthcare decisions with confidence, giving them the information they need to better understand their benefits, costs and claims. Because UnitedHealthcare knows when you understand that stuff, you can better get the care you and your family need. You know, care can show up in a lot of ways and everyone at UnitedHealthcare is committed to bringing it every day. Learn more about how UnitedHealthcare is committed to [e-mail] care your home should feel like you. And if it doesn't yet, well, it could be a budget problem, which I totally get. But have you checked out Wayfair? Because they can fix that. I just found the best tile for my laundry room, which I've been on a tile hunt for a while now and I was looking at this other tile shop and then it occurred to me, maybe Wayfair has the tile that I want. Not only did they have the tile that I want, but I got it on sale as well and I just got it in and I cannot wait for my tile guy to come lay it down. It is going to change the vibe of my laundry room. Wayfair has saved me tons of times. Not just with tile like light fixtures, mirrors, rugs, plants. They have it all. Whatever you need to change your vibe, give Wayfair a shot. You need seating for your outdoor patio. You want grills for the summer, appliances, storage, lighting, rugs, decor. One place, everything you need. No bouncing between stores. And They've got over 20 million five star reviews. You're not blind. Blind. You can see real customers, real, real homes, real feedback before anything hits your cart. Ready to Upgrade your home for way less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home and get your space ready for less. That's W A Y F A I R.com Wayfair Every style, every home. When it comes to summer vacations, there are three big questions. Where are you going? What are you doing? And what are you packing? Now that third one, well, it gets overlooked. But not today. No, ma'.

[A]

Am.

[B]

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[A]

Remember when we worked on the clearest kind of can just make it short and sweet.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that. Sure do.

[B]

Sure do.

[A]

And as you've done that, not everybody has received exactly what you want them to receive. But you're saving yourself clear. Yes.

[B]

Well, and it's not always. I mean, there's sometimes where it's like, there's conflict and that needs to be done. But sometimes it might just be in like a simple explanation to you where you've even noticed, like, that I've gotten better at it or. I don't know, you. Correct me if I'm wrong, but maybe you've called me out like, well, you did. You didn't need to say all of that or something. Like you've said.

[A]

Well, you still do this sometimes in like, what was it last week? You texted me all these texts and then you were like, never mind.

[B]

I processed in real time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it's not that I over. I didn't over. I didn't send like a whole paragraph of like all these random thoughts. Is I. I texted you too quickly.

[A]

What was it about?

[B]

About a video.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And I. I sent you like a sentence or two and then I sent another sentence and then I was like, okay, wait, never mind. It's actually really good. And then I was like, the more that I think about it, ignore me. And so I. What I wish is that I just would have been more patient and not sent that right away. So that wasn't really me over explaining, but. But it was me in real time catching myself.

[A]

Okay. But I didn't. I didn't get to the text until

[B]

you saw the processing of, like, me being like, oh, this might need to change. Da, da, da. And then it's like, never mind. Loss alarm.

[A]

Well, I think it was because I did. We had agreed on something, then I changed it.

[B]

Yeah. And that threw me off.

[A]

Yes. And you were like, that was. You go. You go. That wasn't even an option.

[B]

But that's not how my. That's so funny because it was on text and written and you just said it back. That wasn't even an option. And that's not how I texted it. That's how, like, my tone was like, oh, my. Oh. Oh, that. Oh, that wasn't even an option. That. You know, do you still.

[A]

You're like, I thought we agreed on this and that wasn't even an option. Just confused.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

With kindness. Confused with kindness.

[B]

And then turns out after I took a beat and clocked it and I chillaxed a little bit, I was like, oh, yeah, this is actually better. So it probably was an option because you hadn't thought of that yet. And it was the best option.

[A]

See?

[B]

And you also have creative control to do that. Like, I was in a What? Thank you.

[A]

Thank you. Well, sometimes we have different. Me and Amy have different strengths.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm the first to say my strength is not marketing. My strength is not. I don't think my strength is creativity.

[B]

Oh, I think you're creative.

[A]

I don't think my strength. In different ways. Okay. My strength is not knowing what will do well on social media. My strength is I can do something. I can get something done, and I cannot overthink something like that. But because you have a lot of information and you're better at that stuff, you overthink more. Where I'm like, this is fine.

[B]

Well, thank you for the compliment. I don't think I'm better at that. And I think it's a. Everyone out there is just throwing stuff and seeing what sticks. Like, I don't know that there is a method. I don't think you give yourself enough credit for knowing what is a good clip to pull or not being a victim a little. No, I just think that maybe you need encouragement to Know that, like, you mostly pick all of our clips and they do well. So I want you to acknowledge that I would say 99 of our clips are ones you've watched and been like, okay, I'm gonna clip that. Not clock it. Clip it, clip it, clip it.

[A]

But it's.

[B]

That's you. Yeah, I know.

[A]

Thanks. I didn't. I didn't really say that to get a compliment. I was really saying, like, we have different strengths. And so sometimes when we're communicating, stuff like that happens because I usually rely on you to do what I had done on my own. And it probably shocked you.

[B]

Yeah, I think that's all it was.

[A]

Yeah. Anyway, we're still friends.

[B]

We're still friends. A little. It's a little inside baseball there for people. You're gonna love this because this is just for you. Cause I know how much you love questions that don't come up. Which is a segment you came up with.

[A]

Yes. I love when you have a question that doesn't come up. I'm ready.

[B]

So look at you, Segment creator.

[A]

Yeah. See? What other segments do we have? I think that's our only segment.

[B]

No, we have feeling of the day. No, we have feeling of the day. We have questions that don't come up. Oh, we have emails. We used to have email voicemails.

[A]

Yeah, but that's not segments. That's a whole episode.

[B]

No, but do we have other.

[A]

There's no more segments. We. This is something I want to do. This is maybe like some homework for us. I want to have more like segments.

[B]

Like, maybe it's like in radio we call them benchmarks.

[A]

Okay, let's have more bed benchmarks. Where it's like every. I don't know, first of the month, we have a science fact. I don't know, I couldn't think of one. But like we do something and it's like. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, wait, I just saw this text from Chase. I'm not sure I. I won't speak too soon, but potentially if something goes through that he's working on for us, we're. We might have a benchmark, like giveaway segment.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Where. And we're trying to figure out who that might be to. But it might be to teachers, single moms, military. But that'll be a potentially an eight week benchmark.

[A]

I have to clock something.

[B]

Clock it.

[A]

Shannon just came up with this. This actually is a good idea.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Well, we kind of done it before. I just read that she typed in.

[A]

We have done this before.

[B]

Well, we've. Well, we haven't done it. We had it in the newsletter and then also I had to file for the trademark. So yes, we made it as if we have done it before.

[A]

Okay, well, I want to do maybe like that can be emails that people send in. Like if you have a wait. We didn't even say what it was. If you have a wait to worry story, a story where you really were anxious or kind of we're not chillaxing about something and then it worked out or something like that happened, send it to us. And that can be like our monthly wait to worry proof in the perfect. And then it shows it's other people.

[B]

That waiting to worry works.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. I like it. Good job. Nice, Shannon.

[A]

Good.

[B]

Because especially we did trademark Way to worry as its own little segment or saying.

[A]

Saying yeah.

[B]

And it's mostly so my ex boyfriend's dad said that to him and then he said it to me when it came to something. And then his dad is a trademark lawyer so he filed all the paperwork for us and then we had to do a bunch of things with it and I was like, oh, well, now look at us. We're going to be putting it to use. Wait, I like that to worry segment. And it all just poof, happened here organically. So we have our wait to worry segment. We may have our giveaway segment coming up. We got our feeling of the day and we have questions that don't come up.

[A]

I'm ready.

[B]

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[A]

No.

[B]

Do you know what it is?

[A]

Well, my. My question that doesn't come up is how do you make semen jewelry? Like, is it?

[B]

I don't.

[A]

Is it like semen? Is it semen in a capsule?

[B]

So there's this woman. She popped up in my algorithm where she makes necklaces and bracelets. She takes the contribution from the man and turns it into a powder. Do you see?

[A]

I wonder how that's done.

[B]

Freeze dry it, maybe, or something. And then it's turned into a powder and mixed into clay. And then she forms it into a piece of jewelry that's watching her do it right now.

[A]

Wait, I thought it would. The powder would maybe be in a capsule. It's like it's touching me.

[B]

Her. She's trinkets by Amanda Booth. In case anybody is interested in this,

[A]

first of all, what is your algorithm?

[B]

I don't. Exactly. Exactly. I'm sorry. I don't know. I don't know.

[A]

Would you wear this? No. Ew.

[B]

But that's why I was wondering if you would. Because you get real sentimental. Okay. Like Patrick. You would.

[A]

I'm not saving his.

[B]

You're obsessed with Patrick.

[A]

Fair. I'm obsessed with my husband. I'm not wearing his semen. And the fact that you would even consider that I would is offensive. And you are being A fake supporter? I don't know. I was trying to fit one of those things in, but.

[B]

What, there's a fake supporter?

[A]

Well, I was just trying to pick one of those sucking things that you were talking about earlier. Energy suckers.

[B]

There is a company also, in addition.

[A]

Stop it.

[B]

That makes it. That's called Jizzlery.

[A]

Is this company profitable?

[B]

I don't know. But it must be in demand enough to. Where people have, there's, there's no.

[A]

I don't believe that girl.

[B]

There's Jizzlery. I mean it must be a thing. There's a market. I mean my mind is blown that women are having jewelry made out of this, but.

[A]

Okay, I, I, I want to be open. Okay. Not for, I don't want to wear this, but I need to know a scenario in, in which this would be the sentimental thing somebody chooses like maybe,

[B]

maybe they are have testicular cancer and they're about to get their.

[A]

And it's like their last semen there's removed. Okay. Okay. And so they want to save a little bit of the last.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Hurrah.

[B]

Or maybe they are being proactive in case that happens. So.

[A]

Okay. Okay.

[B]

I, I don't, There can't be that

[A]

many of those people out there though that want to make it into jewelry.

[B]

I don't even have anybody to, to. I'm, it's expensive too. Yeah. Well, I think it depends on who you go to. But yeah, the whole process they are, they're handling that stuff and then drying it out and then forming it into a custom piece of jewelry for you.

[A]

What's the like trajectory to become that person? Like that makes that like you just start as a normal jewelry maker and you're like, I want a niche market to be. Drum up business.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like I want to know the origin story of these people.

[B]

I mean that there really is a market for everything, if you think about it.

[A]

And this is what I have to tell myself. Not everything that you see on the Internet is working out like you, it looks like it, you know, like, like, like the businesses. Yeah. Like how many, how many orders does she get a day? Not that I want to wish bad business on her. I hope that she's, she might make

[B]

other types of jewelry too. This is just, well, they have a whole system. You can pick your piece, receive your collection kit, make your contribution, you send it back and then they work the magic. According to their website, it's a three week turnaround.

[A]

What would you do if for an anniversary, Valentine's Day, Christmas, what have you, you Got a piece of jizzlery. A bracelet.

[B]

I can't decide if I would be out or it would be hilarious.

[A]

What if it was cute? Would you wear it?

[B]

I mean, maybe now you're talking. Like, if. If. If I was dating somebody or my husband, whatever gave me that, I would think I would need to know his intent. Like, if it was to be hilarious, like, that could be kind of funny.

[A]

And then you would wear it. Yeah. And then people like, where did you get that?

[B]

And I'd be like, jizzlery.

[A]

Just read dot com.

[B]

We have to stop saying that. I feel like people are gonna be, like, gagging. But I. I think I would be okay.

[A]

What if he.

[B]

But if he was serious and it was some sort of, like, marking my territory thing? That would be weird.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. I guess if it was a joke. But also, is it from the prices that I'm. It's expensive joke. I'd be like, you. We could have gotten something else.

[B]

Yeah. Like, you could have bought me something, like, really nice. Which, speaking of having a partner and being in relationships, like, I don't have anybody that's gonna be giving me this jewelry, so we're good. But you also were telling me before we sat down to record that there's a crush recession, and I don't know what that means.

[A]

Well, yeah, we talked about this a little bit months ago, maybe with dating app fatigue. That was happening.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And now I saw this new term. Apparently people are saying this, like, online. The. Maybe it's the kids that are saying chill. The kids aren't saying shocks.

[B]

No, they're saying clock it. Yeah.

[A]

So there's a crush recession, and it basically is along the same lines, but people are less. Getting less likely to, like, go out and date and getting less excited about dating.

[B]

Oh, well, you told us about solo maxing.

[A]

Yes. Yeah. Yes. That must have been what it is. Like, that is all. I think that is becoming a bigger and bigger story, and more people are opting. And I hear this as a therapist in my office of people just getting fatigued from whether it's dating apps or going out and trying to date because it's just not working out for them. But. But I do say it doesn't. It doesn't work out until it does, you know?

[B]

Right.

[A]

Which. That's also one of the most annoying things to hear if you are in the process, because you kind of just gave me a look.

[B]

Well, I mean, and I knew where you were coming from because you went on a lot of bad dates until you didn't yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So again.

[A]

And guess what? My husband went on, too.

[B]

He only went on two.

[A]

He went on. When he got on the dating apps, he went on one date with somebody else, then have a second date, and then me.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

And I said, well, do you want to come over and see my shitty date jar? Because I've been on about 400, so this is really nice for you.

[B]

I thought you were gonna bring that jar one day and we were gonna open that bad boy up.

[A]

We should.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Sorry. You have to remind me. Okay. That'll be a good idea. Anyway, there was a survey done. 14th annual singles in America survey released by the Kinsey Institute found that 53% of singles reported dating burnout, 46% took breaks from dating to recharge, and 63 noticed more passive passivity. Notice more passivity in making the first move. So DA data has also shown that dating app use and marriage rates have been falling. I didn't know that marriage rates had been falling. Falling. So I guess what I'm curious about is what's going to be the next thing? Because if dating apps are starting to go on like a downtrend, people can improve the dating apps. They do that and they change things about them. But, like, is there going to be something else? Like, is it going to be in person events? Yeah.

[B]

Are we gonna go back to setting people up?

[A]

I hope so. I would. I would do that if I had people to set up. You know how cool that would be if you were, like, at somebody's wedding, you're like, I did that.

[B]

Oh, I made that happen.

[A]

I thought about starting, like, a dating service at one point in my life. You know how I always have a new idea because I'm like. I feel like I'd be really good at getting. Stop looking at those.

[B]

My eyes are. I'm intrigued. I've never heard this. Okay. We've been friends for so long, and I've never heard.

[A]

This is a dream that doesn't come up.

[B]

You know, dreams that don't come up. I love it.

[A]

I just think because I. This is me patting myself on my own back. I've never set anybody up before. Never.

[B]

But you're like, I don't have. I mean, batting average is nothing because I've never done it.

[A]

I've never done it. Never tried. But I'm good at understanding people's psyches and behaviors and all that. And I feel like I'd be able to come up with the good questionnaires to see who would be good fits with who. So you know how Patty Stanger from Million Dollar Matchmaker. I don't want to be Million Dollar Matchmaker, but I would love to have a database of singles and then have people. Because you could just be a passive. You want to be in the database, but you're not gonna like. This is where my. My business brain was going. You could, you. You pay like, whatever, $10 to be in the database, but you're not being set up on a date. You're not. I'm not matching you with somebody. You're in my group. And then you have the people that are like, I want to find somebody. And then you pull from your database and you set people up, and then I can give them some. I mean, I would need to be a little bit more trained on this. But then you do some coaching and you do some. I just feel like that would be so fun, and I feel like I could be good at it.

[B]

So while you were talking about that, made me think of this one girl that pops up into my feed every once in a while. And her name is Matchmaker Tiffany. And sometimes her videos come up and they always catch my attention, but she doesn't ever show who her client is. But she'll say, hey, ladies, if you're between 35 and 45, listen up. I've got a guy, he lives in California, but he also has a home in Austin. He's back and forth. He's open to anybody in the United States, though. He loves to travel. He loves dogs. His kids have grown. He's looking to travel, blah, blah, blah. Like, she starts saying all these things about him, and he sounds so great. He's six. Two very.

[A]

Comments. Is she getting?

[B]

Well, I. But then I'm like, well, how do you. You do? You have to then DM her and be like, hey, you want to consider me since that's her client.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Then do we have to become her client too? Or can we be like, I think, oh, here. I just pulled up her account and it says bachelor alert for Texas and California. This might be the same guy, owns multiple businesses. Self aware, gorgeous smile, flexible schedule.

[A]

Are you into it?

[B]

He's hoping to meet a woman between 30 and 45. I'm like, I'm 45. I'm at the top end of that. Oh, he wants her to have flexibility in her schedule. I don't have flexibility in my schedule or my legs. I mean, my hamstrings. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Not like,

[A]

where are you going?

[B]

I just meant I'm not flexible. Okay. In any area of my Life. I meant my hamstrings are tight. Yeah, yeah, they are, like really tight. Should we take that out?

[A]

Oh.

[B]

He also wants her to be curious about life, open minded, excited to build a real partnership. He's simply looking for someone who dreams big, embraces growth, and wants a long term relationship.

[A]

So I would assume that you don't have to be a client of hers. You would just like comment or DM her.

[B]

Okay, I looked at someone's comment.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

My mother just sent me this. He sounds great. And I just filled out the application, moved to Austin from SoCal and love both. So I guess there's an application to fill out because that's what this.

[A]

Yeah. If you are like, I like that guy, you probably go to her website, fill out the app, and then she sees if you're a fit and. Yeah. Did you ever see that? I think it was like Kelly's Corner or something. Or Kelly's Singles. That was a Nashville thing where this

[B]

girl, she goes to the park. Does she go to the park and talk to singles? No. Oh, I saw that girl. Okay. Is that park you like? What's it called? Yeah, she goes. There's something about this.

[A]

Yeah, I haven't seen her. And she just goes up to random people.

[B]

Yeah, they're either random or she might know them, but she'll interview them and ask them what they're looking for. Like, what's their dating life like?

[A]

Is she trying to set people up? I don't really know.

[B]

She's only just popped up in my feed every now and then. But she does a good job because it always gets my attention.

[A]

Well, this was like a Instagram from. This was like seven years ago. I don't know if she still does this, but you would just apply to be one of her singles. I think she did it once a year. And she would post all these people to her Instagram and then you would comment on that. If you were interested in that person, then you would comment on their picture and be like, I want to be set up with this person. Oh, but I would. I was single when she was doing that. I would never do that because what if you don't get that many comments? Yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah, it's vulnerable. To put.

[A]

It's very vulnerable. I want. Yeah. And then I also don't want to comment on their page because it's like, oh, it feels like competition, you know? So I don't know if I would do it that way, but I wonder how many people. I mean, she did it for years, so she. It had been working for people.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I just think that I could. So, okay, let me tell you what. This article that I was reading about crush recession. This is the tips they gave. And I just feel like my matchmaking might be better than these tips. Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

The tips they said are opt for less expensive dates because that was one of the things that was driving fatigue is it's expensive to go on a lot of dates. So they're like, go to the park. Go whatever. Which I do get that, like, if you're trying to, like, meet a lot of people, you can't be buying somebody dinner or buying drinks or buying whatever three nights a week. You know, Change your expectations of dating. Don't expect people to be all hyped or amped during dating. There may be some bumps and even some pessimism. So don't fret it. If you and a date are not sitting singing Taylor Swift's love story by the end of the night, which is not a bad.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. Change your goals for dating rather than being laser focused on finding the one. Maybe your goal is to simply meet and learn about different people. In the meantime, you might find that right match for you comes in an unexpected package, which. These are all great. I shouldn't have set that up the way I did. These are not bad tips. I agree with all of them. I think we also just need to shake up the dating world.

[B]

Okay. Shake it up. You do it, Cat. Start your business, your baby.

[A]

And you're gonna be like, sorry, I can't feed you. I have to set this person up on a date. But also, like, I would love to have a database of people. So when I do meet somebody who's like. I'm like, I wish I could set you up. I'd be like, oh, let me look in my book.

[B]

Yes. I think you didn't have to pay me. I think you would be good at it. That I'm gonna encourage that. See what is in this next chapter for you. You never know what you might do. And with your therapy background, I do think you would know, like, the right questions to ask people. Yeah, totally.

[A]

I need a business partner to financially support me and to help me make business decisions.

[B]

But what are the finances involved in this up front? Just curious.

[A]

I just imagine there to be some.

[B]

What? You just need people.

[A]

People.

[B]

You need people.

[A]

Well, I probably need to host an event to get people to know about this. You know what I mean?

[B]

Like, okay, so you need to.

[A]

I'm gonna do it. If I'm gonna do it, I'M gonna do it.

[B]

Right? All right.

[A]

Do you want to do it?

[B]

I could help you host an event.

[A]

You could. You could help me host an event. You could be the host. Yeah. And you're good at hosting things. What and why?

[B]

And a candidate.

[A]

And at the same time, you kind of would be like the super. And that would be really cool for you because you'd be like, oh, I'm just here because I'm the host. But, like that.

[B]

I want to share something that I just saw on Matchmaker Tiffany's page that is a good thing to close on that's really positive, that it has to do with just our behavior in general, whether you're dating or not, because we have happily married people that are listening. But you may not know your worth. And she is a matchmaker. So it is leaning to dating. But there might be inconsistency in a lot of your relationships that you allow. So we're gonna end with this little tidbit.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

Clock it. People throw around the phrase know your worth like it's a mindset. It's not. It's a behavior. Knowing your worth isn't posting a quote. It's not pretending you don't care. And it's definitely not playing hard to get. It's choosing not to reward inconsistency. It's paying attention to patterns instead of potential. It's letting people reveal who they are before you decide who they are. Most people don't get hurt because they ignored red flags. They get hurt because they explained them away. The right person won't need unlimited access to you to stay interested. They won't disappear the first time you set a boundary. And they won't expect you to prove your value before they show you theirs. Stop trying to convince people you're worth choosing. Start paying attention to who's already acting like it. Save this for the next time someone tells you to know your worth but forgets to explain what that actually means.

[A]

I love that. That's good. I was watching Logan Yuri. That's. I think that's her name. She was the psychologist for a date hinge. Maybe she was a behavioral psychologist for hinge. She actually had a dating. She had a dating show called Elder Dating or something like that. It was like dat. It was a dating. She was matchmaking older people. I thought it was cute, but she was talking recently on a reel that popped up on my page that was saying, don't. She talks about not lowering your standards. She was like a lot of people, like, when she's giving her Feedback or she's coaching people, she's helping them fine tune what's important to them. And she's like, people will look at me and say, oh, so you want me to lower my standards? Like, do you not think I'm worth that stuff like that? And she's like, no, I don't want you to lower your standards. This isn't about lowering your standards, but you need to maximize what is important to you. And that is a problem I think we do have in. And I was probably a part of that too. Like, I probably did the same thing where I want the whole package plus like the gift with purchase situation. Like I want everything plus more. But then you miss out on something that can be very good and you won't ever have. I love. I'm obsessed with my husband. I he. There are things that if I made a list of everything I wanted in a partner, he wouldn't have all of those things on them. So it's not about lowering my standards because I don't think I'm worthy of that. It's maximizing what I do think I'm worthy of and focusing on that stuff. If you are a single person. She's a good follow. She has good.

[B]

She says follow her. So what's her name again?

[A]

Logan Urie. Why do I follow her? I don't know. If I do follow her, I might.

[B]

No, I think I said I need to follow her.

[A]

Like, why do you follow her? I was like, I like what she says.

[B]

Like, I guess. How do you spell her last name?

[A]

I think it's U R, Y.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I don't know if I'm saying it correct, but it could be array.

[B]

Oh yeah, her page or what's the thing? Bio. Her bio? Yeah, her bio says it's time to date smarter scientist at hinge, dating coach at Netflix. Yeah, her book is called how to not Die Alone. Did you say that?

[A]

No, but that's a good title. I guess that'll get you. I don't want to read that book at a bar.

[B]

What if that's the bar? That. That's the book. I take to the bar with like a glass of wine, sitting by myself to see if some man comes up and talks to me.

[A]

I would recommend you to take the book jacket off of that one if that's what you're. Although it might actually spark conversation if somebody's like, I don't want to die alone either.

[B]

Oh, I love this. On her page she has the post Date 8. So after a date you may have a Checklist of criteria that you look for and she's got her post date 8 questions. What side of me did they bring out? How did my body feel during the date? Was I stiff or relaxed? Do I feel more energized or de. Energized? Like did they suck the life out of me energy wise? Are they one of the six energy suckers? Um, is there something about them that I'm curious about? Did they make me laugh? Did I feel heard? Did I feel attractive in their presence? And did I feel captivated, bored or something in between the post Date 8.

[A]

I like those questions. I like the did I feel attractive in their presence that I have a lot of like follow up questions to that. That's interesting. Like how you feel or do you feel like self conscious in their presence or do you feel. I like I've never.

[B]

I know we keep going on and on. I said I was going to close, but I am listening to a book right now and she's in a emotionally abusive relationship, but she, she never knew how this to categorize it as that.

[A]

Are you already in a new book?

[B]

Yeah, it's one that I'm just listening to. I didn't even order the physical copy because I was moving my furniture around and cleaning. So I was like, I need something to listen to. It's by Abby Jimenez. And I read them out of order because I ordered Yours Truly and I read that and it was so good. I loved it so much that then I got her next book and.

[A]

Wait, what do you mean you read them out of order? Well, do they go together?

[B]

They do, but I didn't know it. So I read Yours Truly and I was like, oh, I should order another one of her books. But I wanted to just get it on audible and listen to it while I was cleaning my house and I got the book that was the book that came out before Yours truly. So you're getting stuff in Yours Truly. I had no idea they were connected, but they are. So about halfway through when I realized they were connected, I already knew how it was going to end because I knew in the second book some of the stuff of how. But it was like different characters. Well, anyway, well, now I'm giving away some stuff if people want to read the book because I wasn't going to give the title, but I've already said the.

[A]

You're not.

[B]

I already said Abby. Well, anyway, she's in an emotionally abusive relationship and I can't even remember why I was going to bring this up, but it's Called part of your world. Just read that one first. Read part of your world and then read yours truly.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But just know that, I mean, you know there's abuse in the book. She gives a forewarning about what's to come in case, like, a trigger warning. And she. She, like, never knew. Him treating her that way was emotional abuse, but he was trying to tear her down so that she would feel so insecure that she wouldn't want to leave him.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I think why I brought that up was how you feel around someone. Like, when. If do you feel attractive when you're around them and how did they pump you up and make you feel, like, desirable and beautiful and all the things. Things. Because he was. She was beautiful and desirable. Or her character is. But he would say things like, have you showered today? Oh, but she would have. She would have already taken two showers.

[A]

Then it's like, nobody else will love me, so I'm gonna stay.

[B]

I'm a stink. So he was so consistent with that type of those types of comments that she made a doctor's appointment. This is a fictional character, but she made a doctor's appointment to see if there was something wrong with her that was making her smell. And the doctor was like, nope, all your balance, your ph and you sure you smell fine? Yeah, she. She smelled fine. It was his tactic to abuse her in that way. So, anyway, there you have it. Okay. Yeah, I think that's it. Yeah, we're good. All right. We hope wherever you are, you have the day you need to have. Bye. Bye. All right. I love my dog, but her breath, not so much. That's why I give her a daily greenies dental treat. They're vet recommended and designed to support the four areas that vets check the most. Plaque, tartar gums, and breath. The unique texture cleans down to the gum line to support cleaner teeth after 28 days when fed daily. Start your dog's oral care routine today, including a daily greenies dental treat, and turn health into something pets can't help but to love. Greenies make health a treat. Shop [e-mail] the Breakup no 1 saw coming has hit the freezer aisle. Cherry, orange, and grape popsicle ice pops are going solo now. Fans must pick a side and help crown the flavorfew champion with a chance to earn a lot term solo spot on freezer shelves. Pick up the cherry, orange and grape popsicle ice pop variety pack to experience all three iconic flavors and decide where your loyalty lies. And then vote by shouting out your favorite on social. And don't forget to follow the Flavor Feud drama all summer long on Instagram

[A]

opsicle I'm U.S. transportation Secretary Sean Duffy. We all seem to be in a rush these days, from work to driving our kids around. But when you're behind the wheel, please do not speed. A few minutes saved by going faster is never worth the risk. So follow the speed limit, enjoy the drive, maybe bring some snacks for the kids. And know that along the way you're getting quality time with your family. Paid for by nhtsa Skincare means Sephora Makeup Same. They've got the products, expertise and the brands that fit your lifestyle. But when I talk about hair care, do you make the same connection? Well, you should. Sephora is just as trusted for hair. Whether you're looking to repair, strengthen, hydrate or add shine, you'll find brands like Kerastase, K18 and Gisu, plus the guidance that helped you choose what's right for your hair. And with free shipping and same day delivery, great hair care is easier than ever. Shop hair at Sephora today. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.