FEELING THINGS - Airing Things Out: From Underwear at Night to Amy’s Real Feelings About Men (Couch Talks)

Summary

The Bobby Bones Show: FEELING THINGS – “Airing Things Out: From Underwear at Night to Amy’s Real Feelings About Men” (Couch Talks) Date: November 23, 2025
Host: Premiere Networks
Podcast Hosts: Amy & Kat

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Episode Overview

In this “Couch Talks” Q&A episode of Feeling Things, hosts Amy and Kat dive into listener emails about popular catchphrases, nighttime underwear debates, and perceptions surrounding Amy’s attitude toward men. The episode is candid, warm, and laced with humor. It’s a mix of practical insights, personal stories, and thoughtful self-reflection, delivered in the duo’s signature relatable style.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Origins and Meaning of "Have the Day You Need to Have"

[03:27 – 09:35]

• Listener Emily asks about the meaning behind the show's recurring phrase, “Have the day you need to have.”

• Kat explains the phrase’s roots: In 2016, she was struggling and, after being honest about her mood at a gym, the owner told her, “I hope you have a Tuesday” meaning it’s okay not to force a good day—sometimes you just need to accept your feelings.

  • “Sometimes you don’t need to [turn it around].” – Kat [04:45]
  • The phrase became Kat’s signature sign-off and a piece of her merchandise, resonating with many listeners who felt permission to experience their true emotions.

• Amy and Kat discuss how the phrase shouldn’t be used as an excuse for negative behavior. Instead, it’s about self-awareness and respecting when people need to process things at their own pace.

• Kat: “Your body will let you go there when it’s time…our bodies will know.” [08:17]

• Both emphasize nuance and the importance of living “in the gray” rather than in rigid black-and-white thinking.

2. Underwear (or Not) at Night – “Airing It Out”

[12:04 – 22:07]

• Listener Cat asks whether it’s healthier to “air things out” at night by sleeping without underwear, sharing her mom taught her not to wear it to bed.

  • Amy: Admits she generally prefers wearing underwear but is aware of the benefits of going without, and has tried both.
  • Kat: "I hate wearing underwear and so I'm definitely not wearing it at night. So I'm team, don't wear it.” [19:21]

• The duo discusses personal comfort, the importance of airflow, and reducing infection risk. They reference online health advice that supports sleeping without underwear for both women and men—though both agree it’s a personal decision.

  • Amy: “According to the Internet, it can be healthier…However, it's a personal choice and it depends. It says here it depends.” [18:48]

• They touch on fabric choices, with a consensus that cotton is best for health and comfort, especially for sleep.

  • Amy: “I'm just thinking purely comfort. It's just so constricting that I want you to experience the freedom.” [19:40]

• The discussion humorously expands into whether people wear underwear during workouts (Amy: yes; Kat: no), and different types of men’s underwear and their impact on health.

• Fun Fact: Amy shares research showing that sleeping without underwear can improve sperm quality in men.

  • “Whether men should wear underwear to bed is a personal choice, but many experts suggest sleeping without it…can reduce the risk of bacterial growth and potentially improve sperm quality.” [21:43]

3. Addressing Accusations of "Men Bashing"

[22:16 – 30:02]

• Anonymous listener expresses concern that Amy’s comments sometimes come across as “anti-men” and shares her hope that men’s strengths and positive qualities are celebrated, not dismissed.

  • “It bothers me that Amy seems so anti men…They’re amazing men and they are supposed to be different than women.” [23:17]

• Amy responds with humility and self-awareness, acknowledging she may sometimes generalize unintentionally, especially after years as often the only female voice on the Bobby Bones show.

  • “If I am doing that, I definitely don't know that I am presenting men as lazy, thoughtless, selfish people. Yeah, that's not how I would describe…That's not how I feel.” [24:26]
  • She welcomes constructive feedback and promises to be more mindful of her language, wishing to celebrate differences without putting anyone down.
  • “I'm a boy mom as well. I'm raising a young man. And I am dating an amazing man that has two boys.” [24:54]

• They clarify that previous comments—such as those about men in clinical research—were not attacks on men, but criticisms of systemic bias in historical research.

  • “So much of women's health stuff is like, yeah, we know this because we conducted one study 60 years ago on a single rat and the rat was male.” [26:25]
  • Both agree it’s important to fight for equitable research and care for women, without it being an indictment of men in general.

• Kat shares a personal anecdote where Amy was the one to prevent her from generalizing or “man-bashing”, highlighting the hosts’ balanced outlook and support for one another.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Kat on emotional permission:
  “There was a sense of like, oh, this is okay. I don't need to…go get this out of me. I'm allowed to just have these feelings.” [04:34]

• Amy on the “air it out” debate:
  “According to the Internet, it can be healthier to not wear underwear to bed as it promotes better airflow, reduces moisture buildup, and can help prevent infections…However, it's a personal choice and it depends.” [18:48]

• Amy on listener feedback and men:
  “I'm a boy mom as well…I love men. And I celebrate that we are different and we have different roles. Thank goodness. My boyfriend is the yin to my yang.” [27:47]

• Kat on relationship expectations:
  “We can't expect all the things from everybody in our life…We can't expect one single person in our life just because they're our significant other to fill every single role.” [29:14]

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Segment Timestamps

• Intro & disclaimers: [03:09]
• Meaning of “Have the day you need to have”: [03:27 – 09:35]
• Underwear at night – listener debate: [12:04 – 22:07]
• Men & perceptions of “men bashing”: [22:16 – 30:10]
• Listener feedback, gratitude, closing banter: [30:10 – 32:04]

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Episode Tone & Style

Amy and Kat keep things relaxed, conversational, and supportive. They encourage listeners to embrace their feelings, prioritize self-awareness, and communicate openly. The humor is gentle and self-deprecating; vulnerability and nuance are central values throughout the episode.

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Final Sign-Off

Amy & Kat: “We hope y' all have the day you need to have.” [32:00]

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This episode is perfect for listeners seeking relatable advice on self-compassion and relationships, or anyone curious about the surprisingly emotive topic of nighttime underwear preferences—with plenty of laughs along the way.

Transcript

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[A]

I turned off news altogether. I hate to say it, but I don't trust much of anything.

[C]

It's the rage bait.

[A]

It feels like it's trying to divide people.

[C]

If we got clear facts, maybe we could calm down a little. NBC News brings you clear reporting. Let's meet at the Facts. Let's move forward from there. NBC News reporting for America. If you ever have feelings and you just want some, maybe a cat got you covered like a num, brother. Ladies and fellas, we just following the spirit where it's Alice. From the real stuff to the chill stuff and the in between, sometimes the best thing you can do is just stop and feel things. This is Feeling Things with Amy and Cat.

[B]

Happy Thursday. Welcome to Couch Talks, our Q and A episode of our Feeling Things podcast. I'm Amy.

[A]

And I'm Kat. And quick disclaimer before we get into today's episode, that although we usually answer some of your questions on this episode, it does not serve as a replacement for actual therapy. We hope it helps you.

[B]

We got a few emails today, and the first one is from Emily, and I love her question and it never occurred to me that this might need some explaining, but it totally makes sense that it needs some explaining. So I'm glad we get to do this. Thank you for your email, Emily. She said, hi, I like the merch and I listen to the podcast all the time, but I never understood what have the day you need to have means. Can you explain that, please? Thanks your friend, Emily. And I'm going to throw this over to you, Kat, because this is a saying that you brought to the podcast. You had this as part of your merch for you need therapy back in the day. This is something you have said a lot. So where does it come from in your life? And then also, yeah, what does it mean?

[A]

So this is something that somebody told me years ago. It was probably like 2016. I was having a very bad day, and I think I was just, like, sad and angry. I had all the feelings and I was like, you know what? I need to get out of the house. I went to this gym called Get Fit that is no longer around, but was a really awesome, safe, cool space owned by this girl named Kate Moore. And she was very upbeat, but she also was very like, you do you. If you don't like the workout today, you can go, like, stretch in the corner. I don't care. Like, you know your body better than anybody else. So that was, like, the vibe of the place. So I go, and as I come in, she asked how I was doing, and I said, not great. Which normally I feel like in those kind of spaces, you're just, like, good. But that was the kind of environment where I was, like, not having a great day. And as I was leaving, I did the workout. As I was leaving, she said it was Tuesday. She said, I hope you have a Tuesday. And I was like, what? And she said, have a Tuesday. Like, you don't need to have A good day. It's okay if it's a bad day. Just, like, have the day you need to have. And that stuck with me. I think the workout didn't make me feel any better, and I still had all those feelings, but I. There was a sense of like, oh, this is okay. I don't need to, like, go get this out of me. I'm allowed to just have these feelings. And thank you for that permission. Why have I never thought of this? Why have I always thought every time I have a bad day, I need to turn it around? And sometimes you don't need to? And so when I started uni therapy, I was like, how do I end this thing? You know, like, at the end of an episode, you're like, okay, what do we say now?

[B]

Like, what's your closer?

[A]

Yeah, I didn't have one. So I just started saying that and it stuck. And I think a lot of people have. What's the word? Related to it or needed it or it's been helpful for them. And I think a lot of. And this is not bad that people do this. This is neutral. But a lot of times people will want you, like, have a good day or have the best day you can or have whatever. And I just have realized a lot of people, myself included, have been waiting for permission to just, like, have the day that you need to have. I don't know what that is for you. That can be something different for both of us. But how do you have. And then tomorrow have the day you need to have?

[B]

How does one. Like, it just popped into my head, so I'm going to ask this question that maybe somebody else is thinking, but how could that ever be used as an excuse for some behavior?

[A]

Oh, but, like, how do you.

[B]

How does one know if, like, they're leaning on it a little too much? Like, well, I'm just having the day that I need to have, so I get to act this way.

[A]

So how do.

[B]

Having your own awareness. Yeah, I mean, you may not do this, but I'm thinking of, like, well.

[A]

I think we've all.

[B]

We can lean on certain things as a. I love have the day you need to have, and I support it. I guess I'm playing, like, a little. Since we're talking about it, playing a little devil's advocate of, like, well, what if someone's just having the day and they need to have a little too often? So, you know, like, so when does it become okay? I think that you've taken this too far.

[A]

You've lost the plot. Yes.

[B]

You've lost the plot. That's a good way to. It's a good 20, 25 way to put it.

[A]

Yeah. Gen Z way to put it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That's what I mean.

[B]

What.

[A]

What the Gen Z.

[B]

What the Gen Zers.

[A]

The kids would say. So I'm gonna answer this with a more throw it back on you kind of thing, because in therapy world, let's say somebody's coming in to process a certain thing, and we notice as a therapist, a lot of resistance from that person. They just, like, won't go there, or they keep bringing the same thing up, or whatever was supposed to happen during this, like, thing that I'm doing with them isn't working. You're supposed to roll with resistance. Like, don't argue, don't fight, don't push back. Roll with resistance. Because the thought is your body will let you go there when it's time for somebody to go there. So if I'm doing, like, brain spotting or something with somebod, it feels like they're just, like, getting stuck and it's not working. It's not that it's not working. Their body is maybe protecting them, and it's not time for them to go there. Like, our bodies will know. And so rather than calling somebody, like, resistant, it's like, oh, they're doing what they need to do. So I think in the. The grand scheme way to answer that is, like, that might be really annoying to us. And on the outside, we're like, oh, they're stuck in victim mindset, or they've been doing this for far too long, or they're using this as an excuse, but that might really be where they need to be. So I think that's. It's hard to answer that question because we can't really know if somebody is using that a little too much or if that's what their body needs in order to protect them until it's safe and okay for them to have a different type of day.

[B]

I love that answer.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

So it depends.

[B]

It depends. What does it depends mean? I'm just kidding.

[A]

Well, that's nuanced.

[B]

Well, I was just thinking of. Yeah, maybe making a merch joke. A little merch humor.

[A]

Speaking of merch.

[B]

I mean, it depends, I think, is we gravitate towards that because it is. Living in the gray is sort of how we described it, because I know that earlier versions of me have been a little more black and white, and I like living in the. In the gray because I get to look at something and assess, like, because it depends. And I get to take in all variables that are at play.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And come up with a different conclusion other than a blanket statement. Because of what? Either I was conditioned or what I thought I believed or what society tells us to believe.

[A]

You know what I'm thinking right now?

[B]

What?

[A]

Our merch. They're just conversation starters. So if you've just moved to a new place or you want to make friends somewhere, wear our merch.

[B]

It'll start a conversation.

[A]

Somebody's like, what does that mean on the back of your shirt? Oh, let me tell you. And then, like, you might end up at lunch with that person.

[B]

Yeah, it depends.

[A]

I was supposed to say that, too.

[B]

We got an email from another cat. So not you, not cryo cat, but another cat my boyfriend requested. Like, even to him, I say therapy cat and cryo cat, and he has requested just cat. And then you're t. Catching. So she's Cat. T. Cat for therapy.

[A]

I had a client that called me T.K.

[B]

T.K. That's cute.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, maybe I'll shorten it with him. But, T. Cat, it's just between us. It's not like we would ever say it to y'. All. It's when we're having a conversation, it gets confusing.

[A]

Why doesn't he, like therapist cat?

[B]

It's too. It's too much to say therapy cat. Like, just.

[A]

He's like, I'm not worth another syllable.

[B]

They're rappy Therapy.

[A]

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not worth three syllables. Well, I've already shortened my. You can. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. You got me tea Cat. I just don't think I have the day.

[B]

You need to have that. Have the day. You need to.

[A]

It sounds a little like teacup. Or like, you could just call me Catherine. I've been thinking about that lately.

[B]

I love the name Catherine.

[A]

I do.

[B]

I mean, I know it's your name.

[A]

But I love your name for you.

[B]

But, like, I've never called you Katherine.

[A]

And what's weird is I went by Catherine until I was, like, 25.

[B]

When you were brain fully developed and you were ready to be, and I.

[A]

Was like, oh, this is who I really am. It was when I started teaching cycling classes. They started calling me Kat there. And then when I would just meet people, it just kind of took off. So you could call me Catherine. I might bring it back. Katherine Van Buren. Sounds legit. Yeah. Katherine Van Buren.

[B]

It's elevated for sure.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So you want me to practice? Can I just start calling You, Catherine?

[A]

Yeah. Does it feel weird?

[B]

No. Catherine, we got a text or an email from another cat.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But I don't know if she's born Catherine or Catalina, Katrina, Katria or. Or she just cat.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Hey, girls. I love getting laughs with you twice a week. On the November 13th rule of seven episode at the 26 minute mark, Amy is talking about being hot and sweaty in the middle of the night. She went to bed with her PJs with long bottoms, but got hot and ended up with just her top and underwear. What this needs to be discussed because I was taught that I need to air things out at night from my mom and I never wear underwear with PJs. Who is right? Also, Amy get used to the heat at night. I only buy PJs with long sleeves and shorts for the winter. It's just that season of life. So I guess we can take from this that this cat is potentially in perimenopause.

[A]

Or menopause.

[B]

Or menopause. Thanks and have the day you need to have. I love that she signed it that way. So fitting. Especially since we got that email from Emily. Okay, well, when it comes to who's right, like y' all are right. I. I also have heard air it out, but I just like underwear. I don't know. I have a hard time with it. I. I try it out at times and then.

[A]

What do you love about underwear? I don't know.

[B]

I just do. I. I need to be better at it. But I've done it. I've heard this exact thing. I think it is healthy for sleep time to not have it shut off blocked with underwear.

[A]

Yeah. And also it's more comfortable. I think you'll get used to it.

[B]

Yeah, I just need to get to give it. Give it another go.

[A]

Also, speaking of the pajamas, that made me think of my mom because we used to always get Christmas pajamas every year growing up. She would buy the girls matching and the boys matching and they're like flannel. Right. It's Christmas. All of a sudden she started buying us like shorts, like boxer shorts and like T shirts.

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[A]

Growing up, she would buy the girls matching and the boys matching, and they're like flannel, right? It's Christmas. All of a sudden she started buying us like shorts, like boxer shorts and like T shirts. And I think it's because she needed.

[B]

She started getting, getting hot.

[A]

And so I guess we. Then I guess we had to match her because I'm like, mom, it's winter. What am I? Thanks, Kat, for this information.

[B]

Yeah. According to the Internet, it can be healthier to not wear underwear to bed as it promotes better airflow, reduces moisture buildup, and can help prevent infections like bacterial and yeast infections. Going without underwear can also help regulate body temperature and increase comfort, leading to better sleep. However, it's a personal choice and it depends. It says here it depends.

[A]

It does say it depends.

[B]

It depends on your comfort, hygiene habits, and the fabric of any sleepwear you choose. And that also makes me think of fabric of underwear. Like I've heard the best fabric for underwear. There's a specific kind.

[A]

Is it not cotton?

[B]

I gotta google it again.

[A]

So a little inside baseball. I don't, I don't know what was on last week's couch talks. I did have to tell Houston to take a part off because I did tell a story about my underwear that I did not think needed to be.

[B]

In there because Kat's a professional.

[A]

I was like, I don't think that I should have. I think I over shared. So I don't know if you put in there that, like this I don't think is too much information. I hate wearing underwear and so I'm definitely not wearing it at night. So I'm team, don't wear it. My thought was always. I think I've always heard it's better for you, but I'm just thinking purely comfort. It's just so constricting that I want you to experience the freedom. Just try it out.

[B]

Yeah, I've tried. I'm telling you, I have tried. And it's not like I've never tried. I just need to give it more. I need to just get used to it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And, and to confirm, the best fabric for underwear, for health is a hundred percent cotton due to its breathability, moisture absorption and hypoallergenic properties, which help maintain a healthy PH balance to prevent infections for high activity wear. Well, blah, blah, blah. We're not talking about that. We're just talking about sleep.

[A]

I have a question.

[B]

I'm just saying you need moisture wicking things if you're working out.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Because that's where cotton's not good.

[A]

You don't have to answer this, but I'm gonna ask it. Do you wear underwear when you work out?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

With leggings?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. Okay. That's probably normal to me. That's so uncomfortable. They should make leggings with built in underwear. But then like, is it even underwear or is it just your leggings?

[B]

Yeah, good question. Is it? I don't know. Oh, we have like to our now like probably 10 male listeners. Sorry.

[A]

There was some information, I think I left it out of the doc, about men in underwear and sleeping. I think it said that a lot of men don't like wearing underwear to bed because they wear like compression underwear. You know, a lot of men wear.

[B]

Like boxers, boxer briefs, compression underwear, like biker shorts.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I don't think compression. It's like really?

[A]

It's just those like under armour underwear. That's like, that's what I'm thinking of.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I don't know. I mean, I don't really know what most men wear and I'm not gonna spill Patrick's personal information, but like, I don't think I know a lot of guys that just wear like boxers as underwear. Right?

[B]

Yeah, some do. My boyfriend will wear both. He alternates.

[A]

Oh. Mm.

[B]

Whether men should wear underwear to bed is a personal choice, but many experts suggest sleeping without it for better airflow and temperature regulation, which can reduce the risk of bacterial growth and potentially improve sperm quality.

[A]

Oh, no way. Let's go with the sperm quality.

[B]

Wearing breathable, loose fit underwear is a good compromise if you prefer to wear something for comfort or hygiene. So there you go.

[A]

You just put like a newscaster voice on.

[B]

Yeah. Because I feel like I need to be serious when I'm delivering this hard hitting information. The more, you know, speaking of men, we have another email.

[A]

Yeah, from.

[B]

We'll keep it anonymous because I don't know if she just wanted to share this with me and I thought it was really nice of her to share her perspective because sometimes I don't know how listeners are receiving something and then I like the opportunity to maybe further expand on my views.

[A]

Are you trying not to say defend?

[B]

Because I Don't get defensive anymore. Except for I do all the time. Okay, so this email is from. We'll call it. Yeah, she's anonymous but it's not because she asked to be or bad we just decided. Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To not say her name just in case. Hi, I'm behind on podcast and just wanted to comment on the episode of the listener comment that discussed the breast cancer and her feeling cringe. I think I understood what she was saying, at least from my view and I wanted to share. It has bothered me for some time that there seems to be a lot of men bashing. I notice it more on the Bobby Bones episodes and it really hurts my heart. As a mom of two boys, a wife and a daughter, it bothers me that Amy seems so anti men. I try to think of it from the point that maybe she doesn't realize she's doing it, but she seems to always make excuses for women and just downs men quite often, they're amazing men and they are supposed to be different than women. We both have our strengths and weaknesses and that should be celebrated. I want my boys to hear the great things men do, not that they're all a bunch of lazy, thoughtless, selfish people. That is often how it comes across. I honestly am not sure Amy realizes how often she is saying negative things about men. I am hoping this just sheds a little light. I'm not sending this to be rude or hateful. It is simply from a woman who is surrounded by a wonderful, albeit flogged men and her heart hurts a little each time. It seems Amy is constantly negative about them. I hope you understand my heart and what is behind the message. Keep up the good work. I enjoy hearing therapy and thoughts on things. Happy Friday. Which thank you for this note. Really, if I am doing that, I definitely don't know that I am presenting men as lazy, thoughtless, selfish people. Yeah, that's not how I would describe.

[A]

That's not how you feel.

[B]

That is not how I feel. However, I could be coming across that way on certain topics now. The Bobby Bones show, I've been doing that for 20 years. I'm predominantly the female voice amongst men. I might be having a conversation with them. So I don't know if I'm talking about an action of theirs specifically at any given moment or how I feel about them. And that is being like it's generalizing all men.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And maybe I am like I want to know more about this and own it because I definitely. I'm a boy mom as well. I'm raising a Young man. And I am dating an amazing man that has two boys. And I have a role in their lives now. I don't hate men at all. I think men are amazing. I think the cringe thing, back to the breast cancer episode, in case others didn't hear that episode, that was about something very specific about men dominating research for a lot of history.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's known fact.

[A]

I'm not.

[B]

I'm not bashing men.

[A]

When I say that you're not bashing men at all. You're saying we have inconclusive information on women. Like.

[B]

Yeah, I think.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

You know, we even posted something on Instagram the other day. Cat's been collecting these funny memes over time and then putting up these carousels on the Feeling Things podcast. And they're really funny. Pull that one up. I lied. Maybe. Lol. And yes, it's exaggerated, but sometimes exaggeration helps prove a point of how wildly behind we are in including women in clinical trials and studies. So that is where I was coming from on that. And I am defending myself a little bit because I know in that episode, I wasn't trying to bash men. I was more. That's more of a place. As a woman, my hope would be, as all women, we should be a little worked up about that and fight.

[A]

For our own health care.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah. The meme says so much of women's health stuff is like. Yeah, we know this because we conducted one study 60 years ago on a single rat and the rat was male. See, that's so funny to me.

[B]

That's so funny to me. And in some organizations I work with or vitamins and supplements, I buy. I have specifically bought from women owned companies that have conducted their own research on women.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like they've taken their money and then done separate research. Because I am. I am a woman.

[A]

Yeah. Can I. I have a story or a little bit of a antidote to showcase. I'm feeling defensive. No, I'm not feeling defensive. I just want.

[B]

No. And I do know your hearts, by the way, if you are listening to this or anybody else is. I totally read this. I know your heart. And this is awesome. I do love this information. I don't mind reflecting on how I've come across. And I have hours and hours and hours and hours of content from the Bobby Bones show. So there's no way for me to even know times where maybe I have come across this way. And I'm admitting that. If you have felt that way and you've heard it and it sounds like you're a loyal listener. You are not the only one that feels this way. So I'm thankful for this information. So that way, if I ever have a thought to say, I can either preface it with something or I can be specific to what I'm talking about. And it's not so that it's not a generalization.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I do love men. I'm dating a fantastic one. I co parent with a fantastic one. I loved my dad dearly. Like, I have a brother. Like, I. Yeah, I'm not anti men. I love men. And I celebrate that we are different and we have different roles. Thank goodness. Yeah. My boyfriend is the Ying to my yang.

[A]

Well, that's what I was gonna say is the other day. You'll remember this. I called you when I was so upset because I was like, my husband did something that I got upset about. And instead of getting on the bandwagon, I don't know that I was like, on a bandwagon. I think I was just like, oh. And instead of getting on that train and, like, commiserating with me, you. You said. Well, you know what you said? He's kind of similar to some other men that I know. And this part of him that's frustrating actually comes from this other part that you really love and is really great about him. So I think just to highlight two things. One, you are able to, like, obviously see the good, and you're not like, yeah, well, that's a man. They suck, you know. And then also, you helped pull me out of that, where you were able to, you know, shine the light through the trees for me.

[B]

Yeah, I think that too, where I was coming from, that is because I've had to talk to myself about that of, like, certain things I expect from my boyfriend. And we can't expect all the things from everybody in our life.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, some stuff we're gonna get from our friendships, some stuff we're gonna get from our family. Like, like my sister may fill certain roles, Some stuff we may get from our partner, but we can't expect one single person in our life just because they're our significant other. Yeah. To fill every single role. And so that was. And. And, And. And I think in that moment, there was that part. And then I know you were protecting my boyfriend and that that's who I know. My. Our boy. My boyfriend and your husband are very similar in their demeanor and how they are. And I think the part that we love so much about them is what's bringing out that other thing that is frustrating and you can. And I'm validating your feelings. Like, it's totally frustrating, but it's like, would you.

[A]

I wouldn't trade it.

[B]

You can't have one without the other. And I know I wouldn't trade it either.

[A]

So that was very. You were help. You helped me see that and remember, like, oh, this is what really is important to you. So that was. Yeah. Thank you for that.

[B]

Well, you're welcome. And thank you for this email and thank you for sending your thoughts in a really kind, constructive way. Like, your feedback from listeners is so great. And when we get it delivered in a way that's. Hey, you're allowed to express how. How you feel about what I'm saying.

[A]

And you can tell that she's not trying to be like, you suck and you're stupid. Like, you. She's really trying to give you more information.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. And the. I think that was our point about the whole cringe message that we played is that wasn't even an email. That was a. A listener that called and was just like, hey, I was listening to this episode, and Amy's just so cringe right now.

[A]

Bye.

[B]

I can't. I don't.

[A]

I don't.

[B]

I want to grow and evolve and some stuff. I may need to. And some stuff. Maybe I'll assess and I'll be like, no, I know what I mean by it, and I don't. You know, I hope others aren't taking it the other way, but you never know.

[A]

You never know. Well, thank you.

[B]

Thank you, Emily. Thank you, other cat, and thank you, Anonymous for all of the. Were you scared that I sang her name?

[A]

I was like, you just spent, like, five minutes talking about how you're gonna keep it anonymous, and then you just said her name.

[B]

No, Emily was our have the day you need to have.

[A]

Well, thanks, Emily listener.

[B]

So. And I'm pretty. I'm, like, 99% sure this is not another Emily, even though we had another cat, Catherine. Thank you, Katherine Van Buren.

[A]

I wish you had. Amy was short for, like, Amelia or something, so I could say your full name now.

[B]

Well, have I told you before, my dad wanted to name me Candace and call me Candy for short, so we could do that.

[A]

I could call you Candace. All right, well, thank you, Candace.

[B]

No, call me Elizabeth, because that's my middle name.

[A]

I love the name Elizabeth.

[B]

I do.

[A]

Too much.

[B]

I do, too.

[A]

Okay, well, thank you, Elizabeth.

[B]

Thank you, Catherine. We hope y' all have the day.

[A]

You need to have.

[B]

Bye.

[A]

Bye.

[B]

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[A]

Sure thing.

[B]

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[C]

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[B]

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[A]

This is an iHeart podcast.