FEELING THINGS - Book Recs for Your Next Trip & How to Gracefully Exit a Toxic Friendship (Couch Talks)

Summary

The Bobby Bones Show – Couch Talks: FEELING THINGS

Episode Title: Book Recs for Your Next Trip & How to Gracefully Exit a Toxic Friendship
Date: July 6, 2026
Hosts: Amy & Kat

---

Episode Overview

In this “Couch Talks” Q&A episode of the Feeling Things podcast (from The Bobby Bones Show universe), Amy and Kat bring their signature warmth and humor to conversations about summer reading, travel habits with friends, and the often-tricky art of managing—or sometimes ending—difficult friendships. Listeners get heartfelt book recommendations for upcoming trips, insights into communicating boundaries, and a peek into the genuine chemistry between Amy & Kat as they discuss nostalgia, personal anecdotes, and even embarrassing moments with public figures.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

---

1. Book Recommendations for Vacation (04:00 - 14:40)

• Listener Email from Leslie: Leslie writes in with book recommendations for Amy and Kat’s upcoming trip and wishes them “the friends trip you all deserve to have.”

  • “Both light and easy reads. Perfect for vacay.” (Leslie, 06:54)

• Amy and Kat’s Travel Book Stacks:

  • Kat shares her “show and tell” pile of possible vacation books, explaining,
    “I ordered a bunch of books for our trip … These are all the ones I ordered as potential vacation.” (Kat, 08:37)
  • They discuss “The Book Club for Troublesome Women” (Leslie’s rec), with Kat excited that Leslie affirmed her book pick.

Books Mentioned:

• Mad Woman – Mystery with domestic violence themes; caution advised.

• The Book Club for Troublesome Women – Four women in a 1960s setting; serious topics approached with humor.

• Every Summer After by Carly Fortune – Endorsed by Emily Henry; gives “Emily Henry vibes.”

• Yours Truly by Abby Jimenez – A romantic comedy, “a novel of terrible first impressions, hilarious second chances, and the joy in finding your perfect match.” (10:40)

• Strangers by Bell Burden – Non-fiction memoir about marriage and sudden divorce; popular through Oprah’s Book Club and personal word-of-mouth.

• “It writes about her divorce, which I believe she was completely blindsided by… she thought she had a healthyish or normal type marriage.” (Kat, 12:14)

• Paula Deen’s Strawberry Cream Cheese Cake Recipe (mentioned in Amy’s newsletter).

• Book-Packing Strategy:

  • Kat debates which books to bring, wanting to avoid lugging too many, and jokes, “No, I’m gonna do one book. Like, I’ve gotta pick one. But I think I’ve narrowed it down.” (Kat, 08:48)

---

2. Travel Compatibility / Friendship Dynamics (06:56 - 07:43)

• The hosts highlight how well they travel together, contrasting small quirks (e.g., Kat’s travel anxiety) with overall compatibility:
  • “I don’t ever have to worry, like, oh, Kat’s probably not gonna like that.” (Amy, 07:21)
  • “We should eat dinner at five and then you looked at me and you said, and then we go back to our room and watch a movie. Yes, that’s exactly what I want to do.” (Amy, 07:37)

---

3. Advice Segment: Exiting a Toxic Friendship (19:08 - 27:10)

• Listener Email (“B”): A detailed dilemma on how to set boundaries or gently end a draining friendship involving her husband and another couple.

  • Example of toxicity: “He recently walked into our home. And the very first thing he said was, ‘Wow, these floors need to be changed.’ Who does that?” (B, 20:02)

• Amy and Kat’s Reactions and Advice:

  • On rudeness: “I think I figured out the only way this is excusable is if he heard them complaining about their floors, and he also works in flooring…” (Kat, 22:14)

  • On Uncomfortable Endings:

    • “You will feel uncomfortable feelings, but you have to also look at, well, what uncomfortable feeling do I want to feel… the discomfort of maybe disappointing somebody…or knowing that I can’t manage this person’s feelings and she might have a feeling about me.” (Amy, 22:35)
    • They recommend simple, polite refusals in response to invitations: ‘Oh, I can’t do that. Thanks for thinking of me.’ Period. But it’s so simple.” (Kat, 24:43)

  • Amy frames the core boundary lesson:
    “Our job is not to manage other people’s feelings. She’s an adult and you’re an adult and you have to take care of yourself first.” (Amy, 24:43)

  • On “Energy Vampires”:
    “Are there energy vampires? Yeah. Which it sounds like that’s what they are… They’re sucking the life out of the weekend because of their negativity…” (Kat, 25:21)

• Clarifying Context:

  • This isn’t a lifelong or deeply intertwined friendship, making a gradual fade more acceptable.

• Hosts Wish Luck:

  • “Well, good luck with that. You know, that’s not ever easy. And Kat gave some good advice and so did you.” (Kat, 27:23)

---

4. Notable (and Lighthearted) Personal Stories (33:15 - 40:51)

On Recognizable Names and High School Ties:

• Kat recounts Bobby’s awkward moment on the Today Show with Jenna Bush and her own past with Jenna:
  • “He said, Amy. Amy who? … Why did you do that? That’s so embarrassing.” (Kat, 34:06)

Manifesting TV Appearances:

• Kat jokes about manifesting a guest co-host spot on Today with Jenna Bush:

  • “There was a season where she was having people come fill in… I’m not friends with Jenna anymore… but also, they were having famous people come do it…” (Kat, 37:04)

• “She was being playful. She didn’t really think I was the devil. It’s just that we had gone to bed really late, and we signed up for a fun run…” (Kat, 38:06)

• “We went to the run, and I have a picture…we look terrible. No, we didn’t win, but we look—inside we’re not—rough.” (Kat & Amy, 38:53)

On High School Snacks & Family Food Habits:

• They reminisce about favorite snacks (Nutty Buddies, Nutter Butters, pizza rolls) and the nostalgia of family quirks:
  • “My dad always had the best food. My dad’s wife…would eat Nutter Butters…for breakfast. And she was tiny.” (Kat, 40:10)
  • “That didn’t really work out for me…” (Kat, 40:44)

---

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “Gosh darn it. And Kat and I are the same. We vacation the same.” – Amy (06:54)
• “Our job is not to manage other people’s feelings. She’s an adult and you’re an adult and you have to take care of yourself first.” – Amy (24:43)
• “Are there energy vampires? …they’re sucking the life out of the weekend because of their negativity.” – Kat (25:21)
• “This isn’t one of those relationships where I have to send a clear, ‘hey, this isn’t working for me anymore’ type text…” – Reader Email (26:42)
• “I would just be prepared … you have to just let go of the idea of she might have a feeling, she might be sad or hurt or disappointed or whatever. And that’s okay.” – Amy (24:43)

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |---------|-----------| | Show intros & banter, snacks, newsletter recipe | 02:21 – 06:54 | | Vacation book stack & planning | 06:54 – 14:40 | | Book strategy and Kat’s memoir pick | 09:10 – 14:29 | | Listener “B” – friendship dilemma email | 19:08 – 27:10 | | Advice on discomfort & boundaries | 22:35 – 26:03 | | Recounting Today Show & Jenna Bush story | 33:15 – 36:53 | | Manifesting TV co-host spot, high school run story | 36:53 – 39:06 | | High school snacks & nostalgia | 39:06 – 40:51 |

---

Memorable and Lighthearted Moments

• Kat’s “historically speaking…” book choice method, gently teased by Amy: “Normally I like to do this. Like, what do you mean normally? This is like a brand new thing for you.” (Amy, 11:22)
• The never-ending debate about how many books to take on vacation.
• Laughter and self-deprecation about not being truly famous (and not being followed on Instagram by big accounts).
• The story of Jenna Bush playfully calling Kat “the devil” for waking her up for a fun run—proving not even talk show hosts always want to rise and shine.

---

Takeaways

• Book recs for all vacation moods: light fiction, heartfelt memoir, and a nod to the importance of endorsements from friends and favorite authors.
• Exiting draining friendships doesn’t require confrontation: The hosts validate that it’s okay to simply become “unavailable” and give permission to not over-explain.
• The value of friendship compatibility: When vacationing or navigating life, finding someone whose quirks match your own makes everything easier (dinner-at-5-movie-in-room club, anyone?).
• Nostalgia and laughter soften life’s harder topics: Amy and Kat’s warmth, humor, and genuine rapport anchor the show, making even tough subjects relatable and, at times, laugh-out-loud funny.

---

Final Note

Whether you’re seeking your next poolside page-turner, navigating complex social boundaries, or just in need of a dose of genuine, life-loving conversation, this episode delivers the real, the chill, and everything in between.

“Sometimes the best thing you can do is just stop and feel things.” – Kat (02:30)

Transcript

[Amy]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human this sports spotlight is brought to you by Capital One. Capital One offers no fees or minimums on checking accounts. Did you know that New York Liberty star Brianna Stewart only lost five games in her four years at UConn? She won four straight NCAA titles and became the only player to Win Women's Final 4 Most Outstanding Player 4 times. Capital One what's in your wallet? Terms apply. See capitalone.com bankguy for details. Capital One NA Member FDIC all new

[Kat]

drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the Strawberry Watermelon Refresher and the Mango Pineapple Refresher with Popping Boba to crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six? All new drinks are here now at McDonald's.

[Amy]

Refreshers contain caffeine

[Kat]

for years, the Unhoused has been presented as a monolith in mainstream media. We'd Unhouse is a podcast that's changing the narrative. I'm Theo Henderson and I created this show while it was unhoused on the streets of Los Angeles. We've grown into a two time Webby Award winning podcast, the only podcast that shares unhoused stories and news from the unhoused perspective. Listen to we the unhoused on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's Alec Baldwin. This season on my podcast here's the Thing, I talked to composer Marc Shaiman. It's about the hang. It's the pleasure of hanging out with the people that you're with. You know Rob and I was always a great hang and director Morgan Neville Film school teaches you all the wrong things about making documentary. What do you want to Documentary is all about your ear. What do you hear? I feel like my job is listening really really hard. Listen to here's the thing on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Amy]

While we hope Couch Talks can be a tool that helps and supports wherever you are in life, Couch Talks does not serve as a replacement or substitute for therapy or any mental health services.

[Kat]

1, 2, 3 hey. Alright, break it down.

[Amy]

If you ever have feelings and you just want some, maybe a cat got you covered like a on brother. Ladies and fellas, we just follow in

[Kat]

the spirit where it tell us from the real stuff to the chill stuff and the in between. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just stop and feel things.

[Amy]

This is feeling things with Amy and Kat.

[Kat]

Happy Thursday. Welcome to Couch Talks, our Q and A episode to the Feeling Things podcast. I'm Amy.

[Amy]

And I'm Cat.

[Kat]

And I just gotta say, I ate the most delicious cookies.

[Amy]

That was so cute the way you said that.

[Kat]

Well, I was like, oh, can we start recording yet? Because I just slammed a couple cookies, and they're the siete ones that taste like strawberries and cream. Yeah, but they're not called strawberries and cream. Unless strawberries in Spanish are fresas.

[Amy]

How do you spell that?

[Kat]

Fresas and cream.

[Amy]

Let me look up what strawberry in

[Kat]

my eight years of Spanish isn't allowing me to remember any fruit right now

[Amy]

in espanol, I don't know that I remember any fruit.

[Kat]

I don't think I can remember any fruit. Like, nothing.

[Amy]

Oh, that is strawberry in Spanish.

[Kat]

Perfect. So the fresas and cream, to me, that might be the best siete cookie. The little. The little cookies they make, the popular one, I think the first one they ever put out was like a wedding cookie. They're white, and then, yeah, they have cinnamon. And then they started making chocolate chip. I don't know. It's evolved, but I gotta say.

[Amy]

Well, fun fact, if you guys are not subscribed to our newsletter. Last week I sent out a strawberry cream cheese cake recipe that I make every year for Patrick's birthday.

[Kat]

I saw that. Isn't it Paula Dean's?

[Amy]

Yeah. So, you know, it's good.

[Kat]

But I was confused because I opened the newsletter to read it because I'm like, oh, fun. It is fun when you have a newsletter and it ends up in your email and you're like, there it. There she is. It worked. Was it clickable?

[Amy]

Yeah, it should have been clickable.

[Kat]

Where were we supposed to click the picture? I clicked the picture. Okay, well, I don't know if anything happened.

[Amy]

Let me double check it. Because this cool thing about the feature of the newsletter we use is it reviews it. So if I put. There has to be a link to everything. And so it should tell me if there's not a link. Okay, but let me double check. I did this kind of as a test to see if my husband read the newsletter.

[Kat]

Cause you put him in it. You put his picture in it. I was like, oh, there's Patrick blowing out his birthday candles.

[Amy]

And I knew he'd be like, why did you do that? But he never brought it up. So I know for a fact he doesn't read our newsletter. But I'm like, patrick, you at least need to open it. So it Helps our open rate.

[Kat]

Yeah, rude.

[Amy]

Anyway, so that backfired on me. Or did it backfire on him? Really?

[Kat]

Time will tell. Well, so a quick solution to if the link didn't work for you is you can just Google Paula Deen's strawberry cake Cake.

[Amy]

It's pretty simple for it being like a homemade cake that uses real fresas.

[Kat]

Real fresas, fresas and cream. So we've got an email from Leslie that I'm going to start off with. And I am. Y' all can't see me right now, but I'm so cute right now. I'm holding my books because I ordered a bunch of books for our trip and I'm holding them, and Leslie's email is about books. And then I'm going to share with y' all about my books. It's like show and tell, even though we're just on podcasts. These are best friends today. Hey, ladies. I have a couple of book recommendations for your trip. I just finished Mad Woman. I was hooked immediately and couldn't put it down. It's a mystery and it felt so real. But warning. It does talk a lot about domestic violence. I'm currently reading the book club for troublesome Women. I wasn't sure I would like it, but it's very good. It follows four women and it's set in the 1960s, before women's rights. It takes a serious topic, but makes it light and even funny. Get you thinking for sure. Both light and easy reads. Perfect for vacay. Have the friends trip you all deserve to have. Leslie, age 40. I love her little twist on have the day you need to have, because we sure do need to have the friends trip that we deserve to have. We deserve it. Gosh darn it.

[Amy]

Gosh darn it.

[Kat]

And Kat and I are the same. We vacation the same. I mean, besides the travel part, like, Cat wants to be at the airport way early and she has travel anxiety. That part. We're not the same. But how we want to vacay and be in the hotel room and the activities we want to do and stuff we want to talk about. It's like, I don't ever have to worry, like, oh, Cat's probably not gonna like that.

[Amy]

It's like what we're planning, like a spa something the other day. And I was like, well, if we go at this time, then. No, you said, if you go at this time, then we're going to be eating dinner really late. And I was like, you're right. We should eat dinner at five and then you looked at me and you said, and then we go back to our room and watch a movie. Yes, that's exactly what I want to do.

[Kat]

Perfect. So I am holding in my hand, da da da da da. Julie or Leslie? Leslie emailed us. I think we had another something from a Julie.

[Amy]

Julie sent an email that made me cry.

[Kat]

Oh yeah. So that was on this week's Feeling Things. If you missed that episode on Tuesday, Julie sent the sweetest email and Kat started crying every other sentence. And it was. It was really precious. The book club for troublesome women. Leslie, before I even got your email, I'd already ordered this. So now you are just confirming my excitement to read it. I love when a book comes with a good endorsement. And I love the words both light and easy reads. Perfect for vacay, which I don't know for sure that I'll end up reading this on vacay, but I wanted to have options.

[Amy]

I was going to ask. You have a lot of books.

[Kat]

These are all the ones I ordered as potential vacation.

[Amy]

But you're not bringing them.

[Kat]

All right, I'm going to have to make a decision because no, I don't want to lug them in my carry on.

[Amy]

And you won't be reading one book a day.

[Kat]

No, I'm gonna do one book. Like I've gotta pick one. But I think I've narrowed it down and I'll tell you which one I'm gonna go with. So I guess I do know, Leslie, I'm not gonna be reading on vacation. But I love that it's giving vacay vibes and that it's a light read. Cause that's what I want. And when I get back from vacay, I actually could take two because after Arizona, I'm going to Colorado and I'm gonna be on airplanes a lot.

[Amy]

So I would actually take two just in case.

[Kat]

Every summer after this was endorsed by Emily Henry, she said a radiant debut. Or is that an endorsement or just a little review?

[Amy]

That's an endorsement.

[Kat]

That's all she wrote. A radiant debut. Emily Henry. So the Arthur the author is Carly Fortune. And because it had an Emily Henry endorsement, I figured it would give Emily Henry vibes. And I. So I ordered it. I have really nothing else to say about that. My next one is yours truly, Abby Jimenas or Jimenez.

[Amy]

I think that would be Jimenez. Jimenez, yeah.

[Kat]

So the J is silent. Silent. Sorry about that, Abby. I didn't know yours truly. It had sixteen thousand four and a half to five star reviews.

[Amy]

And.

[Kat]

And for Amazon prime days. This book was seven bucks, so I ordered it and it had like, people just loved it and I thought it was super cute, so I got that.

[Amy]

That's a thick book.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

What's the, what's the font like?

[Kat]

Oh, let's check it out.

[Amy]

Oh, it's normal.

[Kat]

It's normal. If it was small, then I would be a little overwhelmed. But it's a novel of terrible first impressions, hilarious second chances, and the joy in finding your perfect match. From the New York Times, our number one New York Times best selling authority. Part of your world. Anybody read that? I haven't. Dang. Should I have started with that? I know they're not the same, but sometimes I like to go in the order of the what the author put out, like, in their career. This is what I think. I'm.

[Amy]

It's just as funny. You're talking like you're this, like, avid reader. You've been reading for years and earlier today you said that you've read more books. This year we're six months in than you ever have in your whole life.

[Kat]

Facts.

[Amy]

And you're like, yeah, normally I like to do this. Like, what do you mean normally? This is like a brand new thing for you.

[Kat]

Historically speaking, I like to approach my reading with this method. I know. And now I have all these books in my room and Cat's like, what are you going to do with all those? She's like, we need to build you a little library and be like, yeah, I'm going to have the Dewey decimal system, so you know where to find stuff. But I think so. I'll probably go with one of these three as my second. Okay. Because in the number one draft pick for Vacay is a memoir. It's non fiction.

[Amy]

Wait, I didn't know it was a memoir. I missed this part. It says it on the book, doesn't it?

[Kat]

A memoir of marriage. It does.

[Amy]

You.

[Kat]

Did you know it was nonfiction?

[Amy]

I think you actually said that, but it didn't click.

[Kat]

Okay. Because these other three that I'm holding, all fiction. And in fact, this year that's been the majority of my reads. Yeah, all of them. They've been so this. Maybe that's why I'm eager to. Oh, somebody's story that's like real. This is called Strangers and it's by Bell Burden. All I know is people are talking about this book all over the place, from like Oprah Book Club to friends that are texting me about it. So that's the spectrum. Like my friends on text all the way to Oprah and everybody in between. And she writes about her divorce, which I believe she was completely blindsided by. She thought she had a healthyish or normal type marriage and one day her husband came to her and said, I'm leaving. And she shares what she learned in that season and reflecting on maybe what she missed. And then also speaks to the financial situation. Some women get put in when they are in a marriage for a very long time and they think they're going to stay married forever. And then he just leaves.

[Amy]

Okay, you've also convinced me to buy this book. I've already bought it.

[Kat]

This is not what you thought it was about.

[Amy]

Now that you're talking to me about it, this does not feel like a light, breezy vacation. Ready? This feels more. I mean, it's. I want to read it, but is this the book we want to relax to?

[Kat]

Yeah. So what is it called? The little snippets. I was calling an endorsement, but is that what it is? Okay, so an endorsement on here says an instant classic. Strangers is gripping and heartbreaking and a must read for every wife and husband. Another endorsement, a beautifully written eulogy for the loss of a relationship that had been loving, trusting, traditional in the best unironic sense of the word. Riveting reading for its heart rendering candor. Yeah, I mean, I think it's a fascinating story. Obviously she did a good job with however she shared what she was going through because I don't think that many people would be talking about it.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

It's just I want a book that I can really get into. Devour by the Pool. And I feel like since, since I've done that, historically speaking, it's always what

[Amy]

you do when you go on vacation. What I do.

[Kat]

You know me. So these are the books. And Leslie, thank you so much for your email and for the encouragement to have the friends trip that we deserve to have. I want to tell you about nefi, the only needle free epinephrine nasal spray for those who weigh 33 pounds or more. It's used for the emergency treatment of allergic reactions, including anaphylaxis. Nefi works as well as a needle injector and delivers the same trusted epinephrine. It's designed to be safe and easy to use at the first sign of symptoms. So in a high stress moment, your child or someone else can act quickly to treat an allergic reaction, even if you're not there. NEFI is also small, discreet, and easy to carry, including in a backpack, lunchbox, or sports bag. So your child is prepared anywhere the day takes them. Pay as little as $0 for at least four Nefi devices, two packs through the copay Savings Program with commercial insurance if eligible. Patients should not pay more than $199 for NEFI. If you have medical conditions or take certain medicines, your condition may worsen. Tell your doctor about nasal, heart, thyroid or kidney issues, high blood pressure, Parkinson's, diabetes if you're pregnant or breastfeeding and all medications. Side effects include nasal discomfort, headache, runny nose, SH and throat irritation. These are not all side effects. Does your child need a new epinephrine prescription or refill? Don't wait. Ask a doctor about needle free Nephi today. Visit nephi.com to learn more. That's N-E-F-F-Y.com hi, it's Alec Baldwin.

This season on my podcast here's the Thing, I'm speaking with more artists, policymakers and performers like composer Mark Shaman. Once you've established that you you have the talent, it's about the hang. It's the pleasure of hanging out with the people that you're with. You know, Rob and I was always a great hang. We would sit in kibbutz for hours and then eventually get around to the music. That's what I mostly think of when I think of him. The time together. Laughing Lawyer Robbie Kaplan the great gift

[Amy]

of being a lawyer is the ability to actually change things in our society in a way that very few people can. I mean, you can really make a difference to causes in the United States if you bring the right case at the right time.

[Kat]

Marriage equality.

[Amy]

Yeah, Windsor's the perfect example.

[Kat]

Director Morgan Neville Film school teaches you all the wrong things about making documentary. What do you want to say? Documentary is all about your ear. What do you hear? I feel like my job is listening really, really hard. Listen to here's the thing on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Mangesha Tegudar and I'm back with a new season of the podcast Skyline Drive. This time I'm diving into a rabbit hole of peptides, organoids, blood boys, blue zones, and brain replacement to try to understand what this longevity obsession is all about and what it really means to live forever for all of us. I learned about some rad science.

[Amy]

I can make a brain for you and then we can test what draw is the best for your brain as opposed to his brain.

[Kat]

Here are some hard truths.

[Amy]

I would expect Indians to age faster, but I did not expect it to

[Kat]

be almost a four to five year acceleration and get myself into a world of trouble.

[Amy]

I'd say probably start bone smashing. That doesn't work. To make it look more defined. They say it works. I don't know.

[Kat]

Listen to Skyline Drive how to live Forever on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Chuck]

Hey, this is Chuck from Stuff youf Should Know and we're submitting our most science Y episodes for your peer review with our new stuff you should know Doing Science playlist out now you want to know about Occam's Razor? The simplest explanation is usually the right one. We got you covered. Wondered what chaos theory is ever since the first time you saw Jurassic Park. Well, come on down. So distill a nice pot of tea, everybody. Turn down the gas on your Bunsen burner and slip into your most comfortable lab coat and listen to the stuff you should know Doing Science Playlist on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Kat]

Next email is this is the one where I don't know if we should say her name so I'm just gonna call her B.

[Amy]

Your fear is that it's about a

[Kat]

friendship and I just feel like what if somebody hears it it which I

[Amy]

do love Arie on the side of caution, but she did say you could use her name and my thought is she's asking about what to do with her friendship and if the friend hears this then like pish posh, we've we handle it.

[Kat]

Handle it. She doesn't need to worry about worry about it how to end it because the friend will be like oh, got it. Yeah. And she gives where she's from all that. But I am electing to not share that because we're going to share details in the email and we've changed some

[Amy]

of the changed some and taken some out.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Hi Amy and Kat. First, I love you both. I'm a longtime BBS listener and I was introduced to Kat through the Feeling Things podcast and I just adore your friendship. I could use some advice on setting a boundary or perhaps just how to end a friendship. Let's call this friend Sarah. Lately, my husband and I have been feeling pretty exhausted from this friendship. We often feel we have to put it on an act and can't be ourselves around them. Sarah's husband is a little difficult to get along with. He often seems like he's competing with my husband and makes snide remarks and put downs about both of us. Example, he recently walked into our home. And the very first thing he said was, wow, these floors need to be changed. Who does that? We always feel like we're the ones, quote, playing nice. This came to a breaking point a few weekends ago when we went on a camping trip together. I planned the trip and picked the location, and both Sarah and her husband complained the entire time. According to them, it was way too crowded and too cold. There was an unexpected cold front. Not much we could do about that. And my family was making the most of it. It felt like we were managing their negativity the entire time. After that trip, my husband and I reflected on the fact that we almost never feel great around these friends and we want to distance ourselves. However, I keep getting texts to coordinate more play dates for the kids. How do I end this friendship without creating drama? I have a hard time not responding to texts, but I also don't feel like the friendship needs a clear this isn't working for me anymore type of conversation. How would either of you handle this? I hope you have the day you need to have. B.

[Amy]

So 1. The floor comment really threw me off.

[Kat]

Yeah. Who? Who? She even said it in the. In the email. Who does that?

[Amy]

Who.

[Kat]

Who does do that? Yeah, I mean, could you imagine walking into somebody's house and telling them that their floors need to be changed? No, the one. The one maybe itsy bitsy teeny tiny, so little small you can barely see it. Exception here might be is if he works in flooring, maybe, and he's like, I can give you a good deal or I'll do them for free, or he's heard them complain about their floors and he also works in floor.

[Amy]

Yeah, I think that that would be the necessary part of, like, you. You can't be the first one to say that.

[Kat]

Yeah, Okay. I think I figured out the only way this is excusable is if he heard them complaining about their floors, and he also works in flooring, and that was him walking into their house saying, wow, these floors do need to be

[Amy]

changed and I can help you do it for a discount.

[Kat]

Yeah, yeah, I'll help you all out. No problem. I don't know. Weird.

[Amy]

So she's saying that she doesn't feel like she wants to have a super, like, deep conversation about this. And it also sounds like she doesn't want to, like, repair or have a confrontation and fix the relationship, which is fine. Like, people get to choose what they want to do with their friendships. I don't think it has to be that difficult. I think you can just become Unavailable and it will be uncomfortable. I, I would say there's no way to handle this to not feel uncomfortable feelings. You will feel uncomfortable feelings, but you have to also look at, well, what a comfortable feeling do I want to feel having to suck it up and, and spend time with her and it feel like I'm kind of wasting my time sometimes and becoming more resentful or all of that, or the discomfort of maybe disappointing somebody or letting somebody down or, or knowing that I can't manage this person's feelings and she might have a feeling about me.

[Kat]

Well, I saw Jefferson Fisher post something the other day about turning down plans with someone where even if you do want to go, but you can't. Sometimes we still over explain ourselves.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

And so he's like, it works for that. And I believe also he was mostly saying too, it works for if you don't want to do something with that person. And then you end up over explaining, but you leave that window open. And then they don't really get the hint. Whatever the case, he was saying, be direct with the first line of that. You can't. Instead of saying, oh, I would love to, but I have this, this, and this. So I can't make it just out of the gate. Say, oh, I can't make that. And then you may follow up with thanks for thinking of me, period. Oh, I can't, I can't do that. Thanks for thinking of me, period. I can't do that. Thanks for thinking of me, period. But it's so simple. And it, you, you can continue to do that and then they may get the message when you leave it with this long, like, oh, well, I've got this, this, and this. And they're thinking, oh, well, they've, that's because they can't today.

[Amy]

Maybe they'll one that I would love to also. It's like, okay, well, let's pick another day.

[Kat]

Exactly. You leave yourself open.

[Amy]

I like that. And I think even with that, I would just be prepared because this person sounds like she cares about people. Like, I think that's also why you're even asking, how do I do this? You have to just let go of the idea of she might have a feeling, she might be sad or hurt or disappointed or whatever. And that's okay. And our job is not to manage other people's feelings. She's an adult and you're an adult and you have to take care of yourself first. And also, there's a reason behind why you're doing this. It's not just because you just don't want to. There's a reason why you don't want to.

[Kat]

Well, and I think it's always good whether it's in our relationship relationships. Like if you've got other couples you hang out with as a couple or just your friendships one on one. Are there energy vampires. Yeah. Which it sounds like that's what they are. Like you went on a camping trip. You're with your family. Yeah. Some unexpected weather came through. So you're making the best of it. You still want to have a good time with your family. They're sucking the life out of the weekend because they're negativity and so you probably don't feel energized at all after hanging out with them or feeling excited to see them again because it's so exhausting to be around them in the first place.

[Amy]

And what we didn't say because we took some of this out. I think this is important when it comes to like how she's handling this. This isn't like a close friend who she's constantly in contact with.

[Kat]

They are friends and kids are friends.

[Amy]

Yeah. It's like I don't. This is going to sound wrong but almost like a convenient. The way they became friends was out of like somewhat of convenience or just circumstances. And so that's different than this is like this long standing friend or this friend that I talk to every day. Then I would have more feelings around like you might want to think about if you want to talk to her about this before you just, you know, head out.

[Kat]

But yeah, that's why. Thank you for clarifying that. Because some people might confused by the last line of her email which said this isn't one of those relationships where I have to send a clear, hey, this isn't working for me anymore type text or have that type of conversation

[Amy]

because they're not that close.

[Kat]

Yeah. But it is someone that they're. I mean, if you're going on a weekend camping trip, there are those relationships where. Yeah. It's just convenient. Oh, our friends hang. Our kids hang out. So like we should hang out. Y' all are a couple. We're a couple.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

We're human. Y' all are human. You like to camp. We like to camp. But I would question if they actually really like to camp because part of camping is sometimes you have to deal with unexpected weather situations.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Yeah. Well, good luck with that. You know, that's not ever easy. And Kat gave some good advice and so did you.

[Amy]

I like the.

[Kat]

That was from Jefferson and I Was paraphrasing. I don't even know if I got it just right.

[Amy]

He's listening. He's like, that's not what I said. I mean, he's not listening. But, yeah, whatever.

[Kat]

Did you know it made sense. Speaking of listening to the Bobby Bone show, because B said that she listens. Jefferson grew up listening to the Bobby Bone Show. He's from Beaumont. Yeah. So Bobby went and did his podcast and he was like, oh, my gosh, I listen to y' all in Beaumont. Like, I know. And he. Bobby said that he asked about me and I said, me specifically. And he's like, yeah. I was like, are you sure?

[Amy]

How do you feel?

[Kat]

I felt like that was cool.

[Amy]

That's really cool.

[Kat]

So then I posted him in my stories, something. And I don't know if he still runs his account. Like, at this point, he's got 6 million followers, so who knows? I mean, I'm sure he does a lot, but maybe not.

[Amy]

He has 6 million followers.

[Kat]

I think 6.5.

[Amy]

He has blown up.

[Kat]

Yeah. Like crazy. So he.

[Amy]

Yeah, he's not. That's not him. In the DMS.

[Kat]

He replied to the DMs, something like, I. I reposted one of his reels and then I commented like, oh, I love this so much. And then his account, or whomever will pretend it's him. I was like, thanks, Amy. And then I was like, is he following me now? So then I go and I check and he's not.

[Amy]

I wouldn't take that personally. I bet. I bet that's not.

[Kat]

No, I mean, I'm not taking it personally. It's fine.

[Amy]

He knows you well.

[Kat]

And I was like, bobby wouldn't make that up, would he? He wouldn't. Like, why would he?

[Amy]

I would hope that he wouldn't.

[Kat]

I want to tell you about Nephi, the only needle free epinephrine nasal spray for those who weigh 33 pounds or more. It's used for the emergency treatment of allergic reactions, including anaphylaxis. Nefi works as well as a needle injector and delivers the same trusted epinephrine. It's designed to be safe and easy to use at the first sign of symptoms, so in a high stress moment, your child or someone else can act quickly to treat an allergic reaction, even if you're not there. NEFI is also small, discreet, and easy to carry, including in a backpack, lunchbox, or sports bag, so your child is prepared anywhere the day takes them. Pay as little as $0 for at least four Nefi devices, two packs through the Copay Savings Program with commercial insurance. If eligible, patients should not pay more than $199 for NEFI. If you have medical conditions or take certain medicines, your condition may worsen. Tell your doctor about nasal, heart, thyroid or kidney issues, high blood pressure, Parkinson's, diabetes, if you're pregnant or breastfeeding and all medications. Side effects include nasal discomfort, headache, runny nose and throat irritation. These are not all side effects. Does your child need a new epinephrine prescription or refill? Don't wait. Ask a doctor about needle free Nefi today. Visit nefy.com to learn more. That's N-E-F-F-Y.com hi, it's Alec Baldwin.

This season on my podcast here's the thing, I'm speaking with more artists, policymakers and performers like composer Mark Shaman. Once you've established that you you have the talent, it's about the hang. It's the pleasure of hanging out with the people that you're with. You know, Rob and I was always a great hang. We would sit in kibbutz for hours and then eventually get around to the music. That's what I mostly think of when I think of him. The time together. Laughing Lawyer Robbie Kaplan the great gift

[Amy]

of being a lawyer is the ability to actually change things in our society in a way that very few people. You can really make a difference to causes in the United States if you bring the right case at the right time.

[Kat]

Marriage equality.

[Amy]

Yeah, Windsor's the perfect example.

[Kat]

Director Morgan Neville Film school teaches you all the wrong things about making documentary. What do you want to say? Documentary is all about your ear. What do you hear? I feel like my job is listening really, really hard. Listen to here's the thing on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Mangesha together and I'm back with a new season of the podcast Skyline Drive. This time I'm diving into a rabbit hole of peptides, organoids, blood boys, blue zones and brain replacement. To try to understand what this longevity obsession is all about and what it really means to live forever for all of us, I learned about some rad science.

[Amy]

I can make a brain for you. And then we can test what drug is the best for your brain as opposed to his brain.

[Kat]

Here are some hard truths.

[Amy]

I would expect Indians to age faster, but I did not expect it to

[Kat]

be almost a four to five year acceleration and get myself into a world of trouble.

[Amy]

I'd say probably start bone smashing. That doesn't work make it look more defined. They say it works.

[Kat]

Works?

[Amy]

I don't know.

[Kat]

Listen to Skyline Drive, how to Live Forever on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Chuck]

Hey, this is Chuck from Stuff youf Should Know, and we're submitting our most sciency episodes for your peer review with our new Stuff youf Should Know. Doing science playlist out now. You want to know about Occam's Razor? The simplest explanation is usually the right one. We got you covered. Wondered what chaos theory is ever since the first time you saw Jurassic Park. Well, come on down. So distill a nice pot of tea, everybody. Turn down the gas on your Bunsen burner and slip into your most comfortable lab coat and listen to the stuff you should know. Doing science Playlist on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Kat]

Well, one time. One time, Bobby was on filling in on the Today show with Jenna A bush. And I don't know if Hoda was out. This was back a couple several years ago, maybe three or four. And he went. And he knows I went to high school with Jenna and that we know each other.

[Amy]

You guys are, like, random.

[Kat]

But, I mean, I have not. Yeah, but I haven't seen her since high school, so you're talking 25 years maybe. I saw her at a friend's funeral, and we were in our early 20s, so I haven't seen her in a very long time. I haven't run into her anywhere, which is weird because I run into other people, but I've not seen her or spoken to her, but I know she would still remember. And apparently she. She said something like, how's Amy? Said it to Bobby. She said it. How's Amy? And he was like. He said, amy. Amy who?

[Amy]

Wait, what?

[Kat]

And I was like, what? Why did you do that? That's so embarrassing. Why would you do that? Wait, he said that he wasn't putting me and her together because he wasn't thinking about that. And so he didn't expect her to be asking about Amy. But what other Amy is in your life?

[Amy]

You asked him about an Amy. He should assume that it is me.

[Kat]

I know he came back from that trip and told that story on air, and I was.

[Amy]

I was like, bobby, I don't think that looks bad on you. I think that looks kind of just weird. Like what? What do you mean?

[Kat]

Well, yeah, well, what I was thinking is they're about to go do a live TV show, and maybe he was just in, like, Caught up. He was in the zone. And then he's caught off guard with someone. He's in New York. He's at the Today Show. He's not doing anything for the Bobby Bone Show.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

And then he has someone say, how's Amy? That he's like, what? Amy? And I'm like, well, did you tell her I'm fine. I really love who she's turned into. Like, she's done really well. And she may. When I see her little clip. Son, I don't get to watch the Today show. Cause I'm working during that. When I see their social stuff, like, she makes me laugh.

[Amy]

When you knew her, did she know what she wanted to do when she grew up? Was this expected of her? Or was. Are you like, oh, wow. Because what'd she do before she was on the Today Show?

[Kat]

I don't know. Good question. I know something. Maybe I don't. I think it's in alignment with her. I mean, she's was very outgoing and had a really good personality. And her. Their mom was a librarian. They were both very smart, Barbara and Jenna. They were twins. Or they were. They are. But they both were together at my school.

[Amy]

Her mom was a librarian.

[Kat]

They've always loved books. They're both very smart. So that she has a book club now? No, you're. So I'm still holding my books as we record this. Yeah. But her being into reading and forming a book club and even, like, I think she. She wrote a kids book, right?

[Amy]

I don't know.

[Kat]

I think she wrote a book. Maybe. Did she do it with her sister? I don't know. I didn't plan on talking about any of this, so I hadn't really. Yeah. Thought about it, but that was just one of those things where I was thinking of when Bobby tells me certain people ask about me that because either from the past or if they've listened to the show and I'm like, shut up. They listen.

[Amy]

You're somebody who, like, doesn't realize that people listen. Listen and know who you are. You're like, wait, what? Which is kind of sweet, I think. But also, I have a question that doesn't come up. Yeah, I kind of know the answer to this. Okay. But I'm gonna ask anyway. Would you be interested in. Or. Or have you ever wanted. I know you do live radio, but would you ever want to be on a live talk show? Like a talk show host?

[Kat]

Yeah, that would be a lot of fun. Yeah.

[Amy]

Why are you saying that like that? You're saying it like, I Have something in the works?

[Kat]

No, I don't.

[Amy]

Oh, okay.

[Kat]

But I kind of thought there was a moment I was trying to manifest it a little bit. Like when Jenna was doing her. Jenna and Friends before she found she has a. A co host now. But there was a season where she was having people come fill in. And again, I. I'm not friends with Jen anymore. I haven't seen her in so long. But also, they were having famous people come do it. And then I don't think I fit into that category of someone that could come fill in.

[Amy]

How famous?

[Kat]

Like, I don't remember who filled in, but, like, Halle Berry or something. I don't know. I'm just throwing someone out there, but someone like that, like, I've ever seen, but all kinds of people.

[Amy]

You're like, like, waiting for my dm.

[Kat]

But I. I tried to do little. I'm just gonna put that out there. I mean, I didn't speak it vocally, but in my own little manifestations. I thought that would be so cool if I got a phone call from the Today show, and they were like, we're doing this thing, Jenna and Friends.

[Amy]

I'm like, I know.

[Kat]

I'm in. I manifested this. I knew you were gonna call. Plus, fun fact. Jenna and I used to run together in high school, so we were friends.

[Amy]

Well, I'm sorry.

[Kat]

So we would have good. I think we would have good dynamic. And then I was contemplating if I would tell that story of one time when Jenna called me the devil. I was like, probably shouldn't, because she was being playful. She didn't really think I was the devil. It's just that we had gone to bed really late, and we signed up for a fun run, and we registered, and I wanted to go do the fun run. And it was a 5K. And it started. We had to leave my dad's house at, like, seven in the morning. But again, we had been up really late, and she didn't want to go. And I was like, wake up. We signed up for this. I want to go run. And she was asleep, and she remembered, like, throwing the covers over her head. And she's like, you're the devil.

[Amy]

You know, maybe this is why she didn't ask you.

[Kat]

No, I don't think she remembers doing that.

[Amy]

She might.

[Kat]

And then guess what?

[Amy]

She's not coming to be a host.

[Kat]

Guess what? We went to the run, and I have a picture.

[Amy]

Did you win?

[Kat]

We look terrible. No, we didn't win, but we look. I mean, I think we were both glad in the End that we did it because it's like, yeah, we got up and we ran our 5k but. And we're like smiling, but we look inside.

[Amy]

You're not rough.

[Kat]

It's in one of my little. You know, I used to make scrapbooks of in high school, and I would cut the pictures out and, like, pile everything on top of each other. And that's one of the. I think even my kids were going through it one day and they saw that picture just of me. They didn't even know who Jenna was or that that who she, like, at all.

[Amy]

Like, mom, why do you look like.

[Kat]

But they're like, whoa, is that you? And I was like, 7am High school. We were up late. I probably had some Totina Totitos. Totitos. What are they.

[Amy]

Are you talking about pizza roll?

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

No people bites. Okay.

[Kat]

Who knows? Maybe both, you know, pizza rolls. Yes.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

So my dad, he used to always had those in his freezer. And I. Who knows the sodium count and those

[Amy]

bad boys, but I lived off of those at high school.

[Kat]

I feel like, yeah, my dad always had the best food. My. My dad's wife. I was about to say stepmom, but whatever. Stepmom. Dad's wife. During that time, she would eat Nutter Butters. Those are the peanut butter. They're peanut butter cookies. Yeah. But what are the ones?

[Amy]

Nutty Buddy.

[Kat]

Nutty Buddy? Yeah, the chocolate ones.

[Amy]

Yeah. That's a little Debbie would.

[Kat]

She would drink a Coke, a regular Coca Cola, not even diet, and eat a little Debbie's Nutty Buddy.

[Amy]

For breakfast.

[Kat]

For breakfast. And she was tiny.

[Amy]

I feel like that's also. My grandma was kind of like that. She would eat like a Fifth Avenue bar for. For dinner, which I don't even know what's in a Fifth Adam bar, but she always had them in her fridge. And. And she was also a petite lady.

[Kat]

Yeah. So then I thought, well, I'll do the same.

[Amy]

This is no problem.

[Kat]

But then I would eat like four Nutty Buddies. It didn't really work out for me. So.

[Chuck]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Different genes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, be good luck with your friend. And Leslie, thank you so much for the book, Rex. And when Kat and I return from our friends trip that we deserve to have, we will give a little book review because Kat also has strangers. So we're going to do a little mini book club. And if you listen to Feeling things on Tuesday, we're going to watch some movies and we'll report back. We're also going to do Canyon Ranch things like should we have like a

[Amy]

count of how many times I cry on this trip.

[Kat]

Yes. We're going to do a little star chart for your tears. Yeah. So if y' all haven't listened to Tuesdays, go back and listen to that episode. It's cute. The silly little star chart. You'll know what we're talking about. And we hope whatever you have going on this weekend, this summer weekend. Isn't it weird that podcasts live forever? So someone might be listening to this in the future, like in December, because they'll have just found us and they're like, so. They're like, it's December.

[Amy]

They could be listening this in three years from now.

[Kat]

So if that's you.

[Amy]

Hi. We already went on our trip.

[Kat]

We already went our trip three years ago.

[Amy]

It was so good.

[Kat]

Okay, well, we hope you have the

[Amy]

day you need to have.

[Kat]

Bye.

[Amy]

Bye.

[Kat]

For years, the Unhoused has been presented as a monolith in mainstream media. Wheaty in Houzz is a podcast that's changing the narrative. I'm Theo Henderson and I created the show while it was unhoused on the streets of Los Angeles. We've grown into a two time Webby award winning podcast. The only podcast that shares unhoused stories and news from the unhoused perspective. Listen to we the unhoused on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, it's Alec Baldwin. This season on my podcast, here's the thing, I talked to composer Mark Shaiman. It's about the hang. It's the pleasure of hanging out with the people that you're with. You know, Rob and I was always a great hang. And director Morgan Neville. Film school teaches you all the wrong things about making documentary. What do you want to say? Documentary is all about your ear. What do you hear? I feel like my job is listening really, really hard. Listen to here's the thing on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Amy]

Paul Verze here and I want to talk to you about Paul's best podcast. I'm Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio. I sit down each week with with

[Kat]

a special guest and we discuss the

absolute best of things.

[Amy]

Pete Davidson.

[Kat]

It's that and then there's everything else.

Dude, his whole life has sounded like

[Chuck]

the first drop of a roller coaster.

[Amy]

Mark Norman.

[Kat]

I mean, I can't even tell you, Paul, how crazy it was.

It was insane.

Listen to Paul's best podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello, my love. I'm Ryan Weiss, and For the past 15 years, I've been an emotional intelligence coach and a spiritual guide. And I'm sharing with you my new podcast, Waking Up With Ryan. Waking Up With Ryan is a daily audio video podcast here to help you connect with yourself before the noise of the day takes over. So let's start our days together with a moment of calm that's just for you. Listen to Waking up with Ryan starting July 7th on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Amy]

This is an iHeart podcast, Guaranteed Human.