FEELING THINGS: Breakups, Yam Pellets & How to Sound More Assertive

Summary

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The Bobby Bones Show: "FEELING THINGS: Breakups, Yam Pellets & How to Sound More Assertive"

Date: April 5, 2026
Hosts: Amy & Kat

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Episode Overview

This episode of "Feeling Things" with Amy and Kat is an emotionally open, relatable conversation about breakups, hormone health, wellness trends, and the power of self-reflection. The co-hosts take listeners through Kat's recent experience with hormone replacement therapy, and Amy shares personal anecdotes about internet “hacks” that don’t always translate to real life. The bulk of the episode is devoted to a candid discussion on Kat’s recent breakup, how small moments can become turning points, and the process of honoring complicated feelings. Lighthearted segments on dry brushing, underarm etiquette, and language habits provide both humor and insight. Listeners are treated to authentic, vulnerable moments that center around learning, healing, and connecting through shared experiences.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Hormone Replacement Therapy and Yam-Based Pellets

[02:40 – 11:45]

• Kat’s Anticipation & Journey:

  • Kat shares her anticipation for feeling like "a whole new person" following the start of hormone replacement therapy using a plant-based yam pellet for testosterone support.

  • She explains her doctor’s approach (a gynecologist/pharmacist) and the medical reasoning behind the treatment, noting prior disappointments with testosterone creams and hope for the slow-release pellet.

  • The pellet was inserted into her upper hip (butt area) and is intended to raise her testosterone levels from 10 to a more optimal 70.

    “So I’ve got the pellet in my bottom that will hopefully get me up to a 70 where I need to be...and I’m at 10.” – Kat [06:17]

  • Amy questions about pain, tenderness, and pelvic restrictions post-insertion; Kat clarifies it isn’t painful but she must avoid squats or Pilates for days.

• Testosterone, Iron, and Vitamin D:

  • Discussion about interconnectedness of hormone and nutrient levels; Kat’s challenges with low iron and vitamin D and her supplement regimen.

  • Importance of bloodwork and individualized care emphasized.

  • Kat’s metaphor for her health:

    “There’s four key things she’s looking for. And three of the four of my tires are basically flat.” – Kat [09:28]

  • Both hosts stress: “We’re not a medical podcast. Talk to your doctor...Don’t take medical advice from us!” [12:07]

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2. Internet Life Hacks vs. Reality & Dry Brushing Trends

[12:18 – 19:08]

• Amy’s Confusion about Social Media DIYs:

  • Amy expresses frustration after TikTok convinced her she could easily wallpaper her powder room—turns out, not so:

    “But the people that are making peel and stick wallpaper content. Are you guys lying or am I stupid? It's what I want to know.” – Amy [12:59]

• Dry Brushing Fails:

  • Amy, now pregnant, explores dry brushing (for lymphatic drainage) since she can’t use her vibration plate. She overdoes it, leading to discomfort.

    “I bought a dry brush...and this morning I was so excited to do—hurt.” – Amy [15:46]

  • Kat explains you should be gentle, “tap, tap, tap,” not scratchy or hard. They discuss “opening up the big six” lymphatic drainage points.

• Facing Overwhelming Wellness Advice:

  • Both find the barrage of wellness tips (dry brushing, vibration plates, etc.) overwhelming—Amy decides to be more gentle, less rigid, and do what feels right.

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3. Breakups, Communication & The Symbolic Coffee Mug

[19:11 – 38:41]

• Kat’s Relationship Update:

  • Kat reveals her recent breakup in a candid, heartfelt way:

    “My boyfriend and I broke up. We both were just not in a great place…now I can talk about it in more detail here.” – Kat [21:27]

  • The catalyst and symbol: a coffee mug given on Valentine’s Day, which felt meaningless—a turning point of feeling unseen.

    "...I couldn’t have felt less known or seen when I was given the mug.” – Kat [31:00]

• Emotional Processing & Clarity:

  • Amy observes that the disappointing mug actually provided clarity:

    “You getting that gift...was a gift because it helped give you clarity.” – Amy [31:19]

  • Kat shares that even though neither she nor her ex did anything “wrong,” it was essential information about the state of their relationship.

• Post-Breakup Feelings:

  • Kat describes the breakup as hard but necessary, both hugging and crying during the split, and maintaining kindness and respect after.
  • Reframing breakups as sometimes not about toxicity but about growth and honesty when the “puzzle pieces” no longer fit.

    “It was so easy for so long, and then we just kept hitting some little roadblocks...But it was easier to just, okay, let’s go our separate ways here for now.” – Kat [33:36]

• Amy’s Reflection on Kind Breakups:

  • She shares her own experience with a compassionate breakup, highlighting not every ending is fraught with drama.

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4. Communication Habits: How to Sound More Assertive

[44:25 – 49:22]

• The Problem with Adverbs and "Just":

  • They discuss lawyer/author Jefferson Fisher’s advice about removing adverbs (words ending with -ly) to sound more assertive and confident.

    “If you want to sound more assertive...stop using adverbs in your everyday vernacular, like words ending in -ly.” – Kat [45:54]

  • They practice rephrasing and note that “watering down” speech can make one seem less sure or professional.

• Habitual Language and Professionalism:

  • Lighthearted run-down of habits that can make someone look unprofessional (talking too much, responding late, messy workspace, etc.).
  • Both share where they fall short, creating a relatable and self-aware moment.

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5. Listener Engagement: Underarms, Deodorant, and Public Etiquette

[52:57 – 61:08]

• Deodorant Application in Public:

  • Amy admits to cringing when seeing people put on deodorant in videos. Listener emails and voicemails pour in supporting her view, describing the act as “vulnerable” or “intimate.”

    “I also cringe whenever someone is putting on deodorant in their posts...Can’t some things just be a given?” – Listener Jackie [54:10]

• Classroom Hygiene Stories:

  • Listener Jen from Houston, a high school teacher, shares how students applying deodorant in class interrupts the “intimacy” of the moment.
  • Kat likens public deodorant application to the vulnerability of peeing in front of someone—a surprisingly controversial but unifying topic for listeners.

• The Power of Shared Experiences:

  • Realization that discussing even trivial topics can bring listeners together and spark community, as many report feeling validated in their “quirks.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Anticipation & Health:

“I'm full of anticipation because...apparently, I'm going to be a whole new person.” – Kat [02:40]

On Misleading Internet Hacks:

"But the people that are making peel and stick wallpaper content. Are you guys lying or am I stupid? It's what I want to know." – Amy [12:59]

On Breakup Realizations:

“This mug was information.” – Kat [31:00]
“A handwritten note would have meant something...this mug did not fall into the category of me feeling wanted.” – Kat [29:45]

On Growth Through Ending:

“I think that’s helpful for people to hear...you don’t hear as much people talking about the, like, 'oh, we really loved each other. And we had to make this hard decision because there was this piece that wasn’t fitting.'” – Amy [35:43]

On Assertiveness:

“Adverbs water down your speech...You feel like you might need to press hard to open it up, but you don’t. You just really need to gently tap, tap, tap.” – Kat [46:34]

On Listener Connection:

“Sometimes I feel like we need to talk about something that's really impactful...Crickets. Nothing. You’re talking about flying deodorant on Instagram—People are like, I have something to say.” – Kat [60:50]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Hormone Replacement & Health - Yam Pellet Journey: [02:40–11:45]
• Internet DIY Fails & Dry Brushing Wellness: [12:18–19:08]
• Breakup Story, The Coffee Mug & Emotional Growth: [19:11–38:41]
• Origins of 'Cat’s Out of the Bag' & Everyday Language Use: [39:56–44:25]
• Communication & Building Assertiveness: [44:25–49:22]
• Professional Habits & Listener Etiquette Stories: [49:22–61:08]
• Closing Thoughts: [61:08–61:59]

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Episode Tone & Language

The tone of the episode is warm, vulnerable, self-deprecating, and reflective, with both hosts offering equal parts humor and earnestness. Amy and Kat maintain an easy conversational flow, supporting each other through personal stories, offering gentle advice, and building community through shared quirks and listener messages.

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🔑 Takeaways for Listeners

• Health is interconnected—sometimes, a “pellet in the butt” is just what you need to jumpstart feeling better, but always consult a professional.
• Not all internet hacks are as effortless as they seem, and wellness trends should be approached with gentle realism.
• Breakups don’t have to be an “all or nothing” story of blame—sometimes, small signs clarify the need for change, and kind endings are valid, too.
• Everyday language shapes how you’re perceived; being mindful of “just,” “really,” and “basically” can empower assertiveness.
• You are not alone in your oddest habits—whether it's dry brushing confusion or cringing at public deodorant, someone out there resonates.

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Listener Participation:
Email: [e-mail]
Voicemail: 877-207-2077

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End Note:
As Amy puts it, “We hope you have the day you need to have.” [61:59]

Transcript

[Amy]

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[Kat]

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[Amy]

If you ever have feelings and you just want some, maybe a cat got

[Kat]

you covered like a no.

[Amy]

Ladies and fellas, we just follow in

[Kat]

the spirit where it tell us from the real stuff to the chill stuff and the in between. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just stop me. Feel Things. This is Feeling Things with Amy and Kat. Happy Tuesday. Welcome to Feeling Things. I'm Amy. And I'm Kat and my feeling of the day is anticipation. I am full of anticipation because let me tell you, in about two weeks or so, apparently I'm gonna be a whole new person. Whole new in what ways? Well, I'm already, I'm already halfway there.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

To this new person that I'm gonna feel like because I've started my hormone, hormone replacement therapy which a lot of it I'm trying to do through food. But we got my blood work back and my doctor was like, look, I can intervene with some other things that are just going to help kickstart you and sort of put you to the front of the line and then you can maintain with food. But she's like, it's going to take a minute and we can be patient and you can do that. Or I can put a yam based rice sized pellet into your upper butt hip area and it'll slowly release plant based testosterone into your body.

[Amy]

But it's just like putting a little piece of a vegetable inside of you.

[Kat]

I guess so. I mean, in layman's terms, yeah, it's

[Amy]

a very saturated piece of vegetable that's slowly releasing.

[Kat]

Well, I mean I don't know that it's, it's not a piece of the vegetable.

[Amy]

Not a medical.

[Kat]

I do know that it is a yam based pellet. Do your own research. Do not listen to me on this, but I have done testosterone cream in the past and I do think that it helped me. But I told her I didn't mind the cream but she was like, look, they've come a long way with the pellets, the type of pellet that I use and how I sort of engineer the pellet to work specifically for you. And slow release, like you're not going to get too much. She's had a bad experience with pellets, certain types of pellets in the past. But this particular pellet she's all about and she's a gynecologist that also has a pharmaceutical background. So I like too that she knows a lot about anything she's prescribing for me and I have the pellet in my butt right now.

[Amy]

Can you feel it?

[Kat]

Like no. Well, I don't know. Because I say no. Just moving around and sitting. No. But I still have the bandage on it and I get to remove the bandage tonight. So right now if I rub my hand over it, I feel the biggest thick padded bandage.

[Amy]

Well, I mean, can you feel, like, pains, like sore or something? Like when you're sitting down on your butt, does it kind of hurt?

[Kat]

No, no, it's not tender to the touch. She did have to numb the area before inserting.

[Amy]

That's shocking to me because I did see the bandage. And this is not to scare anybody, but it looks like it would be painful, right?

[Kat]

Like there's some blood, just a little bit. And then she's like, I want you to keep this bandage on for four days and no Pilates. Because she didn't want me doing squats while the pellet's still finding its home, I guess because if I were to squat, it could, like move the pellet

[Amy]

and go somewhere else.

[Kat]

They need the pellet to settle in right where we put it. So all I've been able to do is just walk. No squatting. And I was like, hey, don't have to tell me. Darn. I guess I can't. You've been loving your Pilates. I do love my Pilates, but I. I welcomed the a break. The break. Sometimes I feel like I have Pilates pressure because I bought a package and so I feel like I want it. It's not. I don't have pressure to work out for my well being. I'm like, I got to get my money.

[Amy]

Like, if I go four times a week, that means each class is this much money. Yes. Done that before.

[Kat]

Done the math. And it feels good. So I've got the pellet in my bottom that will hopefully get me up to a 70 where I need to be. Like, there's different ways to measure testosterone the way she's measuring mine. I have 10. And she would like to see most women, depending on who they are and their body type, structure, I don't know, height, weight, whatever. Anywhere from 70 to 200. And I'm at 10.

[Amy]

Oh, so you could be at 200?

[Kat]

No, she doesn't want me to be at 200. I might grow a beard. I don't think she wants me at 200. No, no, no, no, no.

[Amy]

Um, you might not know the answer to this, but age wise, is 70 based anything to do with your age or is it.

[Kat]

I think it's just normal female like to feel. When I say normal, it's what helps you feel your most normal. Okay. Because when you're low on testosterone, you are more fatigued. No, low libido, brain fog.

[Amy]

So do you have low testosterone when you're pregnant?

[Kat]

I don't know because I feel this, I think you are, you're growing a human in your body. So brain fog and fatigue would make sense, but I, I actually have never been pregnant, so I don't know what hormones are fluctuating. And let's be honest, even if I had been pregnant, I probably wouldn't remember.

[Amy]

Yeah, that's fair.

[Kat]

I'd be like, it's one of those testosterone, estrogen, progesterone. So I am just over the moon, excited about what is in store for me once my testosterone gets up to at least 70. I mean, shoot, I might start feeling better If I hit 50.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Because I'm at 10. And then I will say when I did the cream and this was with a different doctor. And the reason why I know people measure it differently is because I remember her telling me I was like at a three or something and I don't know if it was the same measurement. But then I was talking to my friend Gracie the other day and she was like, yeah, I'm at like a point, like I had a decimal. And I'm like, well, there's no way the measurement's the same because she would not have a, like, she wouldn't even be at a 1. She's at like a 0.4 out of 70. That can't be right.

[Amy]

We need a universal test.

[Kat]

We. Yeah, measurement. Yeah. So that's where my T is, my testosterone, my iron is really low and my vitamin D might as well not

[Amy]

exist, which that I feel like is pretty common.

[Kat]

Very common. Apparently every woman is low in vitamin D, so get on that. And the thing is, if I want my body to produce testosterone naturally through food, so with iron, for example, I'm low on iron, so I need to be eating more beef and spinach. However, I believe with vitamin D, the same with the iron and the testosterone. If you're lacking vitamin D, your body's not going to do all the things it needs to do to produce the iron and the testosterone.

[Amy]

So. So, yeah, they all play a part.

[Kat]

So they all play a part. So my pellet is just jump starting me and then hopefully I can get my body. I keep in my mind. I'm just going to invite you into my mind, like right now. Vroom, vroom. Like just ready.

[Amy]

I'm ready.

[Kat]

I'm just ready. Maybe because she described it as like a car and there's four key things she's looking for. And three of the four of my tires are basically flat. Oh, so what we're gonna. So I've got one working tire and then my vitamin D, my iron, which is also attached to my thyroid and my testosterone, are flat tires. So I'm get hit in the road every day. Hitting life, going out into the world with one working tire.

[Amy]

When think about how functional you are.

[Kat]

That's why I'm full of anticipation.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Wouldn't that be your feeling?

[Amy]

100%. I feel like I was about to be like a superhuman and I could like lift a car or something. But also.

[Kat]

But in two weeks, if you feel like I'm the same, just don't keep it to yourself.

[Amy]

I won't say a word. But also, I wonder if you're going to have this feeling of like, oh, I've been doing it this way for so long and I didn't need to because, you know, a lot of times people are high achieving because, like, they don't have any other option inside their brain. Right. Like, a lot of people with ADHD feel that way. Like, I had a doctor one time tell me, like, well, if you have adhd, how did you get good grades in school? Almost like saying I was like making stuff up. And it's because emotionally and mentally I didn't have a choice. So you just like go the extra 17,000 miles and run yourself into the ground when you realize that it didn't have to be that hard. So I wonder if you're going to have that feeling of like, I've been doing this and it didn't need to feel that hard.

[Kat]

I'm very excited. Yeah.

[Amy]

Okay, well, I'm excited too. And I'm going to encourage you in your new life journey no matter what I see happening.

[Kat]

Okay. My hrt.

[Amy]

So two, two weeks from now, we're gonna check it.

[Kat]

Ish.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

I would like to say I've gotta get some iron infusions. So once the iron gets in me, because I've already started taking my vitamin D thing, which is one capsule. I take it one day a week. So every Thursday I'm going to be taking my 50,000 units of vitamin D. And then I also need to be getting sunlight as well. Yeah, Carefully, carefully. Responsibly.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

When the UV rays are low.

[Amy]

So are you going to not wear a hat when you go out? Like, how do you not really know

[Kat]

my plan yet, but I think I can responsibly get a little bit of sun. It's not like I have to go out there and peak hours, peak tanning hours.

[Amy]

Just be outside.

[Kat]

I can go morning, afternoon and just be out there for a little bit.

[Amy]

Yeah, okay.

[Kat]

Again, this is not. We're not a medical podcast. Talk to your doctor there. People are seeing are like, yeah, don't worry, we wouldn't take medical advice from you. All good.

[Amy]

You're safe. We never thought it was.

[Kat]

We are more mental health minded, though. So what's your feeling of the day?

[Amy]

I'm feeling confused for two reasons actually, and both have to do with the Internet. Because I've just learned on another level, things are not always what they seem. One, I tried to put wallpaper up in my powder room this weekend because TikTok convinced me that it was really simple and easy and I could do it on my own. And I have, Honestly, I have no words. But the people that are making peel and stick wallpaper content. Are you guys lying or am I stupid? It's what I want to know.

[Kat]

I don't know because I've never done it. I. I personally would never put myself in that situation. That sounds like a nightmare.

[Amy]

I mean, the last time I had wallpapered, I hired somebody because I was like, yeah, I can't do this. But then I kept saying, seeing people do it and showing tips and tricks and it looked so easy. And then I started doing it and I was like, this is not for me and this will ruin my marriage if we continue. So.

[Kat]

So what are y' all gonna do?

[Amy]

I'm gonna call the lady that wallpapered my dining room, which we wanna wallpaper the nursery too. So we'll have her come do both. But in the meantime, my powder room looks a hot mess. Cause it has like one and a half panels of wallpaper. We ripped a hole in the wall. The. Yeah, it's a whole thing. Oh, gosh. So that's one reason I'm confused. The others I'm confused is I got hit with dry brushing content. You're familiar with it, right?

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

And I've previously just like swiped past that. But, like, for some reason, it was a little interesting to me.

[Kat]

Maybe now that you're with child. Yeah.

[Amy]

And I think because. Maybe because I can't do my vibration plate.

[Kat]

Oh, can you not do that while you're pregnant? I don't know. I think, like, shake it around.

[Amy]

I. I don't think that would be good for her.

[Kat]

Wait, speaking of.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

You know Courtney Cook on Instagram?

[Amy]

Courtney Cook?

[Kat]

Sweet potato girl? No, but she was making eggs the other day. And she was. Because, you know, she always has marinated eggs or whatever they're called. But did you know she has 25 chickens? Like her eggs come from her chickens. Chickens. So anyway, she had this big basket full of eggs and she said she learned on TikTok that you take a spoon to the egg and you sort of crack the membrane or something. So before you put them in the water to boil to make hard boiled eggs, you tap it with a spoon. Tap, tap, tap, tap. And as you're tapping it, it's making one swine. Like one. One swine. Sorry. When you're tapping it, it's making one sound like, tap, tap, tap. And then it'll go T. Like, and then when you hear the T, you know you've cracked the membrane.

[Amy]

Why are we cracking the membrane?

[Kat]

I don't know, but it made me think you're vibrating your baby. And I'm like, oh, don't. We don't want to.

[Amy]

We don't want to crack the membrane. We don't want to do that.

[Kat]

No, no, no, no, no. So you can't do. You can't release your lymphs that way. So you're curious about releasing it through dry brushing.

[Amy]

Yeah, that's where I'm, I guess is coming from. So I was watching videos and I'm not familiar with this again. So if anybody's listening to this and you're like, this feels. Sounds simple and stupid. That's because I am new to this club. I bought a dry rash for my face and for my body. And this morning I was so excited to do hurt.

[Kat]

I don't think you're supposed to press hard. You're supposed to press hard at all.

[Amy]

How hard are you?

[Kat]

Well, I don't know that it should hurt.

[Amy]

Well, it. And I was like, kind of scratching, I think on my arm. There's like a little bit like there were some like, red scratches. Maybe I need to go back and watch the videos because I. The face one was really soft.

[Kat]

Did they have you open up the big six?

[Amy]

Yeah, I did the like, whatever. But the face one felt really good and the face one felt like almost like a makeup, a stiff makeup brush, you know. But the other one, it. I was like, I can't. I can't go through with this. I couldn't finish. It hurt. But like, okay, I'm doing it too hard.

[Kat]

Maybe you are. Because it is lighter to the touch than people would think. Even when you're opening up the big six, you've got when you're working Your lymphatic system, you want to open up, like, the exits on the highway. It's sort of like if you had a highway with no exits and you start to do something like dry brushing or getting on your vibration plate, it has nowhere to exit. It has nowhere to go. So it's just. That can cause issues. So if you open up, like, under your. Like by your collarbone, under your ears, under your underarms, which. We've got a whole segment coming up later.

[Amy]

I just said armpit. Sorry I said it again.

[Kat]

I mean, we have some listeners that are just as passionate as me when it comes to underarm and putting on deodorant in public. So got some fun voicemails coming up in a minute. But your underarms and then your ab area, your groin, or what would you call your groin? Groin and then behind your knees.

[Amy]

I didn't do the AB because I was afraid to. I am being so anxious about my.

[Kat]

I think you touch your stomach.

[Amy]

I know, but I was like, I don't want to. Like, maybe it's because I was taking my skin off.

[Kat]

People, like, do it.

[Amy]

I know that.

[Kat]

I feel like the way you're talking be like, I'm scared.

[Amy]

I was scared to brush my stomach, but now it's making sense that, like, I was doing it way too hard. That it's. But in my head, I'm like, how is this doing anything if I'm not, like, putting pressure on my skin?

[Kat]

Yeah, I think that that's the. The misconception. Even with the vibration plate, I've heard from multiple experts. Keep it on a low level and don't do only 10 to 20 minutes. Or when I first got it before, I was seeking out help from people that know what they're talking about. I'm like, well, I need level 10, and I'm going to do this for 30 minutes. It's counterproductive. And even when you're opening the big six, like they say over and over, it's not a hard pressure. You feel like you might need to press hard to open it up, but you don't. You just really need to gently tap, tap, tap.

[Amy]

Okay, well, maybe that's the. I'm going to try again.

[Kat]

Pump, soft pump.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Just.

[Kat]

You got to be gentle.

[Amy]

Do you do the dry brushing?

[Kat]

No, I've done it in the years past, but. Oh, it's been a long, long time. Like, probably a decade since I've tried it. And I definitely didn't know about opening up my lymph system before, so I probably wasn't even doing it properly.

[Amy]

The face one I'm probably going to keep doing because it feels good.

[Kat]

It's so this sort of stuff can be overwhelming.

[Amy]

Yeah. Like, it's just like another thing in my schedule. So I'm gonna do when it feels appropriate and when I have the time, but I'm not going to get too stuck on it. And I'm gonna work on being more gentle. But why don't they just give you a softer brush?

[Kat]

I don't know. Okay. All right.

[Amy]

Well, speaking of, I was confused. I'd like to follow up on some of your confusion. About four or five weeks ago, you said you were confused and you, you talk about it later.

[Kat]

Yeah, My feeling of the day was confused.

[Amy]

Yes. And I feel like it's now later.

[Kat]

Yeah, the cat's out of the bag.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

At least I talked about it on the Bobby Bone show. My boyfriend and I broke up.

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[Kat]

Health insurance should make getting care easier, but sometimes it can feel like the opposite. That's why UnitedHealthcare is committed to putting care at the heart of health insurance with empathy, transparency and real human connection. I mean, doesn't care feel different when it's personal? When you can tell that the person on the other end of the phone, the screen and the Service genuinely cares? UnitedHealthcare is working to make that happen every day. They're also helping people make healthcare decisions with confidence, giving them the information they need to better understand their benefits, costs and claims. Because UnitedHealthcare knows when you understand that stuff, you can better get the care you and your family need. You know, care can show up in a lot of ways and everyone at UnitedHealthcare is committed to bringing it. Every day we learn more about how UnitedHealthcare is committed to [e-mail] care if modern life feels a little loud. You're not alone at Miraval Resorts and Spas Mindfulness has never been about perfection or performance. For more than 30 years, it's been about presence, about helping people reconnect to their body, mind, and deeper sense of self. As a global leader in wellness, Miraval Resorts destinations offer immersive experiences like meditation, yoga, fitness, hiking, and equine programs, along with opportunities to unplug and be present, creating a space to reconnect with yourself. These aren't just experiences to enjoy in the moment. They're tools, simple, intentional practices that help you return to balance in real life. Because wellness doesn't live in one place or one moment. It's something you practice again and again. Learn [e-mail] so I've gone to therapy for a really long time, but there have been seasons where I go a few months here and there, and then I start making excuses like, well, do I really need it? It's kind of expensive. Do I really have enough time to do therapy this week? Or. And then it just snowballs and then weeks have passed and then I get back in and I'm like, oh, why did I ever stop coming? This is so helpful. And maybe you've avoided therapy yourself or you know someone else who has and they have fear of all those things or they worry about finding the right therapist. Well, I want you to check out Rula because it makes accessing quality mental health care affordable, with sessions costing an average of $15 with insurance, and you can sign up and find a great therapist in as little as five minutes. Rula works with your insurance company, too, to offer personalized cost estimates upfront, no hidden fees. Appointments are available as soon as the next day and. And Rula can truly help you feel better. That's what therapy has done for me. 93% of patients through Rula report symptom improvements. So head to rula.com that's r u l a.com to find a therapist the easy way. My boyfriend and I broke up. We both were just not in a great place. It wasn't terrible. We were both having similar feelings of that maybe we needed a break or a breakup, and that's what I couldn't really figure out. And then we decided to break up and now that cat's out of the bag because, well, we talked about it on the Bobby Bones show and now I can talk about it in more detail here, which I have something in my hands right now that led to, well, my confusion. Like, I mean, Kat, aren't you confused by it?

[Amy]

I have to say, when I saw it, it was confusing.

[Kat]

Oh, the price tag is on the bottom.

[Amy]

Oh, no.

[Kat]

Yeah, we. It wasn't. Don't worry. It's not on clearance. Cat was like, that must have been on clearance.

[Amy]

It still could have been on a clearance shelf. We don't know.

[Kat]

Yeah, I don't know. I think that this. To me, which. I'll tell y' all what it is. I'm holding a coffee mug that was bought at a little store conveniently located next to a coffee shop that we had gone to, which makes me think we just got coffee, and then he ran into the shop to grab a Valentine's gift really quick.

[Amy]

Was it the day. Was it Valentine's Day?

[Kat]

Yes.

[Amy]

Yeah, that day.

[Kat]

And then. So I saw him, and we. There. There was nothing, which I think is an indicator that, like, it's just not a priority. And I think we were both feeling blah. And he had been traveling that week. I get it.

[Amy]

Well, clarify this. You saw him earlier, and he didn't have anything for you?

[Kat]

No.

[Amy]

And that's what was on the hike.

[Kat]

And then after the hike, we went to get coffee. And then after coffee, I got in my car and left, and I guess he pretended to get in his car. And then he got out and must have gone in and bought the coffee mug that I had. Which, to be clear, I like coffee mugs.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Okay. So, like, I was thinking about it, I have some coffee mugs that I've had for years from friends. My friend Gracie got me this cute little a. I love it. It's from Anthropologie. I use it all the time. It's so cute.

[Amy]

You've gotten me four coffee mugs.

[Kat]

Yes.

[Amy]

And they're my favorite coffee mugs.

[Kat]

Coffee mugs can be a great gift. Claire got me one with a piece of toast on it that talks about toast. You know how I went through my big toast phase. I still love toast, but I had a season where I was eating toast multiple times a day, all different types of toast. Salty, sweet. Yeah, savory salty and sweet at the same time. Like, I was obsessed with toast. So she got me this toast mug that was really funny and cute. And then Claire also got me another mug that says cat person, and it's got these little cat heads on it. And then Ali Fallon once got me a mug. And maybe Gracie was in on it with her, too, but it's like these two little raccoons on a Bike. And it says born to dilly dally.

[Amy]

Like, it's so cute.

[Kat]

Anyway, I'm not anti coffee mug. Okay. This particular mug, which I think he was maybe doing his best that he could in that moment for where we were in our relationship. This is Valentine's Day, not my birthday. The mug is pink and in, like. What do you call this font?

[Amy]

Chuggy.

[Kat]

Font Chuggy. Well defined. Chewy.

[Amy]

Because this is a font. It reminds me of, like, early 2000s. Like, you know how it used to be really popular to have art that had words on it, like written stuff, like quotes and stuff. Something you would find. Well, I don't want to say.

[Kat]

Yeah, nobody. Someone might love this mug. That. And that is okay.

[Amy]

But it's very obviously not your style.

[Kat]

My thing is my boyfriend, whom I love and he loves me, went into a store and thought, she's gonna love this. Like. Like.

[Amy]

Well, did he think that.

[Kat]

I don't know. I don't know. That he was in the place, honestly, to really try to get something that. Even our conversation before we went to the coffee shop, our walk was not a great walk.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Because now I have all these feelings. Because a handwritten note would have meant something to me, and we didn't have that exchange. So then I'm perplexed. But I get it. If. If you're in sort of this weird phase in your relationship. And I remember when I was filling out the. His Valentine's Day card, I'm like, I don't really know what to say. Cause in that moment, I wasn't feeling all the warm, fuzzy feelings that I normally would feel, so I sort of kept it pretty generic. So I get it. That's what I'm saying. Like, I get. I totally understand how this mug happened.

[Amy]

Yes.

[Kat]

Yeah, I get it. And this mug also led to me being like, we're done.

[Amy]

It was a sign.

[Kat]

At this moment, we need a break or we're done. I think this is a breakup, because I can tell he's done. It was almost like, subconsciously his brain was like, this mug will show her you don't care. And I feel horrible. I haven't even gotten to really talk to him about the mug. And I hope that one day we can talk about the mug. But I don't know if there's a reason to. If we have a reason to talk about the mug, I'll bring up the mug. Because I couldn't have felt less known or seen when I was given the mug. Because I'll Now I'll read to you What? The mug says, this is Valentine's Day. Okay. You can't improve with age if you're already perfect, and it's, again, pink, and it's got these blue swirly letters. And so I was like, it's Valentine's Day. I'm not turning 60.

[Amy]

Like, it doesn't make any sense.

[Kat]

No. And there was also some cute, pink, warm, fuzzy socks. I have no issues with the socks. Love the socks. Give me a pair of fuzzy socks all day long. But it was almost like maybe they were a set. Was. Did the socks come with the mug? I don't know.

[Amy]

I wonder, like, what kept him from just, like, going and picking up a bouquet of flowers from, like, a grocery store, like a lot of men do? Like, would that have been as.

[Kat]

I don't know. I guess I. I have said over time that I'm not, like, the biggest flower person, but I'm trying. I'm trying to be. Or maybe a plant. Words.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

But I get that at that moment, I do have compassion, understanding for the fact that maybe words would be hard at that time. Like, if you're at a rocky place in your relationship, it's hard to sit down and profess your love for someone that you're not vibing with.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

And I give grace for that part because, yeah, if I had, like, walked back to my car and there was maybe a single stem flower, like, even in my windshield with a little note that was like, a heart, like, that would have been great. Something like that, you know? And. And on our walk, I had. I had shared. I don't want to get too much in the weeds of, like, our very personal stuff, but, like, we've talked about this on this podcast multiple times. My primal question is, am I wanted? And this mug did not fall into the category of me feeling wanted. I felt like it felt convenient. Like, I'm gonna run into this little store right by the coffee shop and grab this mug. And now I feel a little bit catty talking about it here with you. This is part of those moments where I'm having, like, regret. Like, if he were to hear this, but I would. These are things I would want to say to him, and he didn't do anything wrong. I get why he bought this mug.

[Amy]

Well, it's also out of character for him.

[Kat]

Yes.

[Amy]

That's.

[Kat]

I get the. The. The season or whatever you want to call it, the timing of our relationship. This mug makes sense, and he was doing the best that he could in that moment, and I think that's what it showed Me. It showed me, okay, this is where our relationship is right now.

[Amy]

And it almost. This is gonna sound a little weird, but I kind of hear this. Is that you getting that gift, even though that's not something you would have ever wanted, and you did not feel wanted by it, was a gift because it helped give you clarity.

[Kat]

Yes. Like you said.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

A couple weeks ago, you had that quote. What was it?

[Amy]

Someone once gave me a box full of darkness.

[Kat]

That sounds good.

[Amy]

I found out this, too, was a gift, which that wasn't a box full of darkness, but it was like, you were like, oh, probably like, oh, dang it. What? Like, this doesn't feel good. And then also having that experience is like, oh, this is clarity. Like, this is. He wasn't using his words, but. Because maybe he didn't want to acknowledge them.

[Kat]

Yeah. That he wanted a break too.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Yeah. Like, last year for Valentine's Day, speaking of flowers, I did get this massive bouquet. I mean, it was the largest bouquet of flowers that I maybe have ever received. And I got that gold heart necklace that I had, I think, originally sent him. Maybe he was asking for Christmas gift ideas or maybe my birthday. I don't know. But he had it, and he ordered it and surprised me with it, so I got the necklace. So, yes, when you say this mug is out of character, and I would hope that that's what he would see, too. And I share this as not to be this caddy at all. This mug was information.

[Amy]

Yes.

[Kat]

And I shared this because oftentimes we are given information, and it can be

[Amy]

very helpful and in different ways. Information is not always words. Like, that was. Yeah.

[Kat]

Yeah. I have no. I have yet to meet a friend in my life that isn't perplexed by the mug. So, again, it's not about that it's a coffee mug or that it's not the. The price. Words are free. And I can acknowledge that for both of us during that time, words would have been incredibly difficult.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

And I don't know what will happen from here, but this is where we are.

[Amy]

How do you feel like you've been since you guys broke up? Like, how would you characterize the, like, journey?

[Kat]

It's been hard.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

It's been hard. Something was just. I don't know if it's gonna work. That's the best way I can put it. Like, just the vibes weren't vibing as well as they were. And what's crazy is it was so easy for so long, and then we just kept hitting some Little roadblocks. Which doesn't mean. I think if. If we were married, obviously, we would really buckle up and commit and go to therapy and figure it out. But we also have such busy lives, respectively, like between his kids and mine. And I don't know. I think we'll have to just. Well, we. We made the decision. I don't know. I keep talking about it as if. Well, if it is a break, then we'd have to make the decision to lean into that so we can get some guidance and clarity on how to move forward. Because I'm not someone. Even though I am divorced, that divorce did not come lightly, and I don't take relationships lightly, and I wouldn't end a relationship lightly. But it was easier to just, okay, let's go our separate ways here for now. Because, yeah, we weren't married, which is crazy, because a few months before that, we were talking marriage.

[Amy]

We talked about you getting engaged on the podcast.

[Kat]

I know.

[Amy]

I was sending you. Engagement. Yes.

[Kat]

I mean, it is crazy how it can take a turn. And I'm also like, whoa, maybe we needed to just pump the brakes for a minute. And I've got some stuff I can focus on. My life is in way more control than it's ever been in terms of different people having different things going on that, you know, can be really disruptive. I do have some stuff going on that I'm trying to tend to, and maybe it's giving me space to do that, which I need. And he's well aware of. Of that situation and even gave me his thoughts on it the other day when I saw him. I've seen him a couple of times, even with the breakup, and that's been very normal and cool and.

[Amy]

And also hard because.

[Kat]

And hard.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Because I leave and I'm like, oh, okay.

[Amy]

Like, he's a good person.

[Kat]

Yes. Yeah, he's amazing.

[Amy]

Yeah. Which I think that's helpful for people to hear because often you hear of these breakups that are toxic or it was very black and white and this one person hates the other person. And that's how it is. You don't hear as much people talking about the, like, oh, we really loved each other. And we had to make this hard decision because there was this piece that wasn't fitting.

[Kat]

I know. It was like. When it happened, we were. We just hugged and then cried for a while. We're like, okay, I guess this is really happening.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

And that's also.

[Amy]

So I think that there. This is reminding me of. I had a really bad breakup once. And then the next guy I dated broke up with me in the kindest. You know, I've never done the breaking up. I've told you that. But he broke up with me in the kindest, caring. Like, I remember he came over and we sat in our bed and he just. The things he said, I just will never forget where I was like, oh, somebody can break up with me and still really think highly of me. And that's very helpful because I think a lot of times when people end relationships, one person. Person is asking, well, what's wrong with me? Or what do I not have? Or what did I do wrong? And so for you to have an experience where nobody did anything wrong. Right.

[Kat]

No. Some of the stuff we were struggling through was legit. Real concern type stuff, I think. Or frustrations, I guess. I don't know how to put it because I'm not gonna go into the details.

[Amy]

Weren't fitting.

[Kat]

Yeah. It's almost like. Yeah. For this little puzzle, suddenly it's like, wait a second. What I thought this piece went here and it's not. It's not fitting. And we're trying to force it. And should we try to force it? Because we don't have the bandwidth for that. We both have a lot going on and you.

[Amy]

You shouldn't have to do that. Like, I do think there will be a relationship where the pieces do just fit and they keep fitting for you.

[Kat]

Yeah. And I. I wouldn't say that it's our puzzles, like, out the window. I don't really know for sure.

[Amy]

It's just in the box right now.

[Kat]

Yeah, it's in the box, but we'll see. You know, that's. That's what I've learned from this is I don't need to rush it. While we were on this trajectory. It's like it's okay that it's at a pause right now, at least for me to figure out or tend to some of the things in my life that need my attention. And I can focus on that and. And also myself and then still be present for things in his life as they come up, or him mine, like with our kids, because we're still in communication with them. Not a lot. It's not excessive or inappropriate. Just more like, hey, yeah, I'll come to that game, or stuff like that.

[Amy]

You're handling this very well. I do. I've already said that to you, but I just feel like this is hard and like you said, and you're doing it well.

[Kat]

Thank you.

[Amy]

You're approaching this in a very healthy way.

[Kat]

I'm trying. I have therapy on Thursday. I cannot wait. Every day I'm like waiting for therapy, which I know earlier I said the cat's out of the bag because I talked about it on the Bobby Bones show, which it's not going to be more long form there when I bring it up. But I got curious on where that statement cat, the cat's out of the bag. Do you know where that comes from?

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[Kat]

available on Amazon Health insurance should make getting care easier, but sometimes it can feel like the opposite. That's why UnitedHealthcare is committed to putting care at the heart of health insurance, with empathy, transparency and real human connection. I mean, doesn't care feel different when it's personal? When you can tell that the person on the other end of the phone, the the screen and the Service genuinely cares? UnitedHealthcare is working to make that happen every day. They're also helping people make healthcare decisions with confidence, giving them the information they need to better understand their benefits, costs and claims. Because UnitedHealthcare knows when you understand that stuff, you can better get the care you and your family need. You know, care can show up in a lot of ways, and everyone at UnitedHealthcare is committed to bringing it every day. We learn more about how UnitedHealthcare is committed to [e-mail] care if modern life feels a little loud, you're not alone at Miraval Resorts and Spas. Mindfulness has never been about perfection or performance. For more than 30 years, it's been about presence, about helping people reconnect to their body, mind and deeper sense of self. As a global leader in wellness, Miraval Resorts destinations offer immersive experiences like meditation, yoga, fitness, hiking and equine programs, along with opportunities to unplug and be present, creating a space to reconnect with yourself. These aren't just experiences to enjoy in the moment. They're tools, simple, intentional practices that help you return to balance in real life. Because wellness doesn't live in one place or one moment. It's something you practice again and again. Learn [e-mail] so I've gone to therapy for a really long time, but there have been seasons where I go a few months here and there, and then I start making excuses like, well, do I really need it? It's kind of expensive. Do I really have enough time to do therapy this week? Or. And then it just snowballs, and then weeks have passed, and then I get back in and I'm like, oh, why did I ever stop coming? This is so helpful. And maybe you've avoided therapy yourself or you know someone else who has and they have fear of all those things, or they worry about finding the right therapist. Well, I want you to check out Rula because it makes accessing quality mental health care affordable, with sessions costing an average of $15 with insurance. And you can sign up and find a great therapist in as little as five minutes. Rula works with your insurance company, too, to offer personalized cost estimates upfront, no hidden fees. Appointments are available as soon as the next day, and. And Rula can truly help you feel better. That's what therapy has done for me. 93% of patients through Rula report symptom improvements. So head to rula.com that's r u l a.com to find a therapist the easy way. The cat's out of the bag. Do you know where that comes from?

[Amy]

A cat?

[Kat]

I mean, yeah, there's a cat involved. No, but the origin of it is from medieval marketplaces, I guess, farmers and traders. They would be selling these young pigs in a burlap sack or a bag. And there was some dishonest traders that would try to cheat shoppers by putting a cat in there instead of a pig. And they would just take the sack, and they wouldn't open the sack till they got home. And when they opened up the sack, a cat would come out instead of a little piglet.

[Amy]

I. Oh.

[Kat]

And they'd be like, let the cat out of the bag.

[Amy]

And then what do you do with the cat?

[Kat]

Well, I don't know if you can go back to the market and be like, you tricked me. This is fraud.

[Amy]

This is not a piglet.

[Kat]

And they'll probably be like, I don't know what you're Talking about you bought that bag fair and square.

[Amy]

I wonder why they wouldn't look in the bag.

[Kat]

Well, I think they had no reason maybe, to not trust.

[Amy]

They just like, why are the animals in a bag?

[Kat]

I don't know. A burlap sack? Little pig. I know. You think maybe you'd look in and just check out what the piglet looked like. I don't know why I keep saying piglet, but I'm imagining it had to be small. A young pig. That's probably why I'm saying piglet.

[Amy]

Piglet.

[Kat]

It's a young pig.

[Amy]

Yeah. Okay. Well, thanks for teaching us that.

[Kat]

Full of those things, you know, little stories, little tidbits. Basically have them coming out of me.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Which. Speaking of the word basically, you know how I say that word a lot? Probably I misuse it. I say basically literally.

[Amy]

I don't think you misuse basically. Well, if you do, then I'm misusing it, too.

[Kat]

Okay, let me be fair. I overuse it.

[Amy]

Okay. Okay.

[Kat]

I use it when there's no need to use it.

[Amy]

We all do that with certain words.

[Kat]

Literally. Just the word just. I was just calling to say what I called to say.

[Amy]

Oh.

[Kat]

Or really. You know the guy we like, Jefferson Fisher? He's a lawyer, speaker, author. I ordered his book, by the way. It's called the Next Conversation. I haven't read it yet because I'm still reading Theo of Golden.

[Amy]

I need to get that book.

[Kat]

Okay. It's really good. I'm on chapter 24.

[Amy]

How many. How far are you?

[Kat]

I feel like I'm about halfway.

[Amy]

That's a lot of chapters.

[Kat]

Yeah. Well, sometimes, to be fair, they're short. Like, no. Some are long, but then randomly, you know, chapter 20 will be a page.

[Amy]

Okay. Not even I can deal that.

[Kat]

And I'm like, how do they divide it up?

[Amy]

Like, maybe it's like, it's the end of, like, a thought.

[Kat]

I know, but I feel like.

[Amy]

Well, they're like, how do you divide chapters up?

[Kat]

I know that, but some of them feel like they could flow together. And I'm like. And then there's just this one little page for this chapter.

[Amy]

Maybe they're book quota. They were like, you have to have 500 pages in 57 chapters, and so you have to, like, divvy it up.

[Kat]

So if you want to sound more assertive. I saw this from him, and it's to stop using adverbs in your everyday vernacular, like words in an ly. And I'm like, well, that would go. Now my conversations are ruined because I use those words so much. But you're not going to sound assertive. Someone asks you a question, you say, oh, well, basically, da, da, da.

[Amy]

Instead of just saying that makes sense. I was going to say, this is really hard, but in normal conversation with me and you, it's fine. But if I'm trying to sound assured of myself and assertive, then I. And strong in my convictions. I don't want to water it down.

[Kat]

Like he said, adverbs water down your speech so very.

[Amy]

But that's also, I think, why sometimes I use them because I don't want it to sound too harsh, you know?

[Kat]

Yeah. That's why even the word. Just like, think about in emails, like, oh, hey, just reaching out. And it's like, well, you could just say, hi, reaching out.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

In regards to blah, blah, blah. Hey, just checking in to see if, you know, basically you were interested. Basically.

[Amy]

I was wondering.

[Kat]

Really wanted to do it, but I don't know if you literally.

[Amy]

It's literally not that big of a deal.

[Kat]

Yeah, it's literally not. So shout out Jefferson Fisher because he had some good nuggets on Instagram that he was sharing from a podcast or something, and they kept popping up in my feed, and that's what led to me ordering his book.

[Amy]

I feel like I would. I want to read that book, too. That's when you have to, like, I can't audible that one. I have to reread it. You know, highlight and like, circle stuff and have a dog research. Yes. Yeah.

[Kat]

Well, all if.

[Amy]

Well, I didn't get my own because I'm gonna write in it.

[Kat]

Okay, that's true. I was gonna say you could borrow mine, but now you're talking about.

[Amy]

And I want to keep it.

[Kat]

Marking it all up and using it as. I'm sure that's. It would be a good resource, too, for even some of your clients.

[Amy]

Yeah, 100.

[Kat]

My therapist has a lot of books in her office, and you can, like, pull from it if you need.

[Amy]

I do that. And then I always am like, catherine, you need to get a system. Because 65 of the time, I never see those books again.

[Kat]

Mike D's wife, she let me borrow two books, and on the inside cover she got. I guess she probably ordered on Amazon or somewhere. See how I'm unsure? So I don't know. And I say things like, I guess she basically maybe went literally onto Amazon.

[Amy]

What's crazy is I didn't register any of those words.

[Kat]

Okay, let me say this with assertiveness. Assertiveness. But I'm Guessing she went online and ordered these cute library card. Insert thingies.

[Amy]

So assertive. Assertive. When you say thingies,

[Kat]

put it in the book that I borrowed as if she was checking it out to me. And I put my name like it said. She says who she's checking it out to in the date, and then I'm gonna give it back to her. But that makes me more inclined to give the books back to her because she's got a cute little library card

[Amy]

in there, which I get. I love that I should do that, but I need the card in my possession so I know who has the book.

[Kat]

Oh, well, you could take a picture of it.

[Amy]

I'm not gonna do that.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

I just need a piece of paper that says this book and then the client's name. I think that would solve a lot.

[Kat]

And also, I believe Jefferson. To clarify, he's talking about sounding assertive when you need to sound assertive. I don't want to sound assertive with my friends.

[Amy]

Right. That would be.

[Kat]

So I will talk basically, literally.

[Amy]

Literally whenever you want.

[Kat]

Yeah, basically. I do have habits that make you look unprofessional, though, so I could run through those just so that y' all are in the know in case you do any of this.

[Amy]

I'm. I haven't looked at this, but I'm going to. Oh, my gosh. What's the word? Assume.

[Kat]

Ooh, brain fog.

[Amy]

Yeah. Lotus, low T. I'm gonna assume I have over half of these because I find it very hard for me to feel professional.

[Kat]

Okay. Let me tell you what they are. Okay. And you just say check. Check.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

Okay. Talking too much.

[Amy]

Check.

[Kat]

Oh, you do at work. Partly. Supposed to listen.

[Amy]

Not a. No, not. Not when I'm a the. Not when I'm being a therapist. I just mean, like, in general, I feel like I talk.

[Kat]

No habits making you look unprofessional. So I would assume these are work related.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

Okay. Okay. Talking too much. Responding late to messages.

[Amy]

Check. You're laughing because you do it too.

[Kat]

Same saying yes to everything.

[Amy]

Uh, no.

[Kat]

Good. You've got boundaries. Oversharing. Personal information.

[Amy]

No.

[Kat]

Having a messy workspace.

[Amy]

Check. What?

[Kat]

Yours is not that messy.

[Amy]

I wouldn't call it, like, organized. Well, it's. Stuff is shoved in drawers.

[Listener/Caller]

Okay.

[Kat]

How about that? Complaining all the time.

[Amy]

No.

[Kat]

Always being late.

[Amy]

No.

[Kat]

Making excuses for everything. No.

[Amy]

Okay. This made me feel really good about myself.

[Kat]

We eliminated the ding, ding, ding. Poor communication, using words like bro, dude, and lol. Swearing.

[Amy]

I do that at work. It depends with the client. I'm with if they are cursing, then I'm jumping in with.

[Kat]

So on the Madison, which is a show on Paramount. Plus, it's Tyler Sheridan's new show. He did Yellowstone and Lioness. Michelle Pfeiffer's in it. I've already completed the whole thing. I don't wanna give too much away, but I will say there's a therapist in there and they drink during the sessions. What?

[Amy]

What?

[Kat]

Yeah, he's in. In. It's in New York. Obviously, this is a TV show, so it's not real, but he went to Harvard, you know, has a.

[Amy]

Wait, how. What do you mean? He's drink. Like, he's having a glass of wine while he's sitting down with a client.

[Kat]

Or whiskey.

[Amy]

I knew it was gonna be whiskey. Is the client drinking?

[Kat]

Yes. He's like, here we. I normally don't do this, but it seems like you're someone where this is what we're gonna need to do. And he busts out.

[Amy]

Yeah, I think you can, like, be turned in for that. I don't think that that's a ethical.

[Kat]

Okay. I thought so.

[Amy]

There's no drinking. I will say people during COVID did try to drink during sessions because they

[Kat]

were at home on Zoom.

[Amy]

Yeah. And if I saw that, I'd be like, we're not doing that.

[Kat]

I guess you probably weren't on Zoom. Were you on, like, a telehealth portal?

[Amy]

Some. In the beginning, I think I used just FaceTime because it was, like, new to everybody, so I had to make. Make a waiver and have people sign that it was okay. And HIPAA laws were lenient during that time. FaceTime's not hip. I would never use that now. But they allowed us to do that because we had no other options.

[Kat]

So. Being too noisy. No, no. Poor hygiene.

[Amy]

I hope not.

[Kat]

Well, speaking of hygiene, we do have some fun messages from people. Well, I've got an email and then a couple of voicemails in regards to my deodorant situation where I cringe when people online put deodorant on, like, in their Get Ready with me videos or

[Amy]

whatever, which I was shocked with the response we got because.

[Kat]

Oh, there's even more than this. We're just sharing with y' all these few.

[Amy]

Yeah, I. I didn't know this was such a thing for people.

[Kat]

So. This is from Jackie. Hey there. I never have emailed a podcast before, but you guys are so cute and so funny and so real. Love you. Uh, anyway, Amy, I also cringe whenever someone is putting on deodorant. In their posts. I'm like, do I need to see you putting on your deodorant? Can't some things just be a given? Do we need to see it? Hahaha. So funny you even brought it up. I thought I was the only one signed Jackie in Pittsburgh. Haha, Pittsburgh. Because during that episode, how we even started talking about the deodorant thing was, I don't like the word armpit. I prefer underarm.

[Amy]

I can't believe you just said it.

[Kat]

Yeah, I'm cool, I'm cool.

[Amy]

I'm casual.

[Kat]

I can do it. So that's why she's also like, haha, Pittsburgh.

[Amy]

Which, that is hilarious.

[Kat]

Yeah. And then we have a voicemail. This is from Sam, who listens in Boston.

[Listener/Caller]

I'm laughing out loud. I'm listening to the latest episode when Amy is talking about how she's grossed out with people on camera or just in general putting on deodorant in their underarms. And I swear, every time I listen to your podcast, I think, I can't believe they also think this way. I feel like I was the only one. Amy, you're not alone. I also get very grossed out or just like shocked when I see, you know, a vlogger or whomever put on deodorant on camera. Even, like, when I change after the gym, at the gym, I always put deodorant on, like, in the bathroom, not in front of people, because I feel like it's such a vulnerable task. So, yeah, I just wanted to share that you guys are not alone. Or, Amy, you're not alone on that. Thanks so much. Love the podcast. Sam calling from Boston.

[Kat]

Okay, Sam, thank you for that. Yes. It's not just in video. It's in person too. Like, she's saying even at the gym, she'll go into the bathroom stall to put her deodorant on. Because for me, Let me explain it to you this way. This is what it feels like. I don't pee in front of people.

[Amy]

Well, you're. If you were peeing in front of people, you would be showing your private parts.

[Kat]

Well, you know, there's ways you could maneuver to where you wouldn't really see the private parts and you could have the camera.

[Amy]

Like, you, like, getting rid of bodily fluids feels very different than you putting on a little. Little spritz or a spray on your underarms. No, I don't. I like that she used the word vulnerable. Like, it feels like a vulnerable task. I just don't have that experience. But now I'm Wondering, like, I mean, I don't think that I regularly do this. I don't know that I ever put deodorant on in front of people. But now I'm wondering, like, have I in the past and did I make people uncomfortable?

[Kat]

Well, I.

[Amy]

Have I deodorant on in front of you?

[Kat]

I don't think so.

[Amy]

And you were like, oh, gross, Cat, get out of here.

[Kat]

No, I don't think so. And we're close enough to where I don't know that it would bother me if it's you, but if I'm, you know, at the gym or in a public place, I'm gonna. Yeah. Go around the corner and do it. Well, speaking of putting on deodorant in public, our next voicemail is from Jen. She's calling from Houston. And that's what she's talking about as a teacher.

[Listener/Caller]

Hi, Amy and Kat. This is Jen from Houston, and I am calling in regards to the axilla where neither armpit or underarms bother me. I've used them both. What does bother me is people putting on deodorant in front of you. I am a high school teacher, and there are some times when students in class will lift up their shirt and apply deodorant in the classroom with everyone visible. They're visible so everyone could see, myself included. And it just seems like you are interrupting an intimate moment. There's just something about it. So I'm totally with you on that. I don't understand how people do that in public. It does give me the creeps a little bit, so I'm just sharing that. I feel the same way. Love your energy. Have the day you need to have. Bye.

[Amy]

Yeah, two thoughts here. One, she moves from the word vulnerable to the word intimate. So now this is an intimate. I know.

[Kat]

Sam thought it was vulnerable, and Jen is calling it intimate, See? Which maybe that's what it is, is we have it in a different category.

[Amy]

Yeah, we don't have it, folks.

[Kat]

Face lotion and whatnot.

[Amy]

But I have it as face lotion.

[Kat]

Yeah. You're like, it's deodorant, but also big deal.

[Amy]

I wouldn't be putting face lotion on in the middle of class at school, and I wouldn't. It is interesting that these kids are just putting deodorant on in the middle of class. Like, well, why would they need to in the middle of class?

[Kat]

Well, I feel like they're just. That's when they're thinking of it. It may not be exactly always in the middle of class, but Maybe at the start or the end when they're going to their next class. My son is 15, and while it's tricky because you want your teenagers to have good hygiene, yet I think he's over applying. He puts on so much all the time, and he's like, mom, it's for the ladies. And he is addicted to this Old Spice.

[Amy]

I was going to ask, was it like, Old Spice or Axe or something?

[Kat]

Old Spice one. This one particular scent, I can't remember. Maybe it's like, Fiji or something. And it is so strong.

[Amy]

Wait, I've bought that, like, flavor shampoo for Patrick before.

[Kat]

Old Spy shampoo. Or is it.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Is it three in one where it's body wash, shampoo, and conditioner all in one.

[Amy]

Definitely a three. He loves a three in one.

[Kat]

Gotta love a good three.

[Amy]

And I think I got him really nice shampoo and conditioner one year for Christmas, and he didn't use it. And he told me that he just wanted his head and shoulders. Two in one. And I was like, I spent, like, $40 on this and you want your 5.99 bottle?

[Kat]

Yep. So I get it. Jen from Houston. I can see how that would bother me because there's probably a lot of kids that are doing it. Yeah. My son's putting it on all the time.

[Amy]

If I was a teacher in, like, math class, I'd be like, kids, now's not the time for your deodorant. Like, I wouldn't be grossed out by it, but I would be like, well,

[Kat]

I don't think she's grossed out. She feels like she's watching them do something. Like a more intimate moment.

[Amy]

I'm watching.

[Kat]

You need to go to the bathroom and put that on.

[Amy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kat]

Like, it's not disruptive to her. Like, I don't picture the kid being, like, halfway through class, oh, go to put on a deodorant. I think it's probably during, you know, like, when class is wrapping or beginning.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Like.

[Amy]

And she's like, oh, I shouldn't be. And then she's like, I feel like

[Kat]

I need to turn away.

[Amy]

Oh, wow.

[Kat]

But I'm not alone. This helps. Thank you all for sharing all of your thoughts, all of you who sent things in, because we had a lot of feedback. Sometimes I feel like we need to talk about something that's really impactful and meaningful and, you know, really impact change, and, you know, you expect to maybe get some feedback from that. Crickets. Nothing. You're talking about. About flying deodorant on Instagram.

[Amy]

People are like, I have something to say.

[Kat]

People are like, I thought I was alone and it's not really anything I've ever shared before until it just naturally came up. I've never talked about. Why would I? I know, but it's interesting when you say something that you've always had these thoughts about and you're like, I must be the only one. And then you learn you're not.

[Amy]

Yeah, feels good.

[Kat]

Feels good.

[Amy]

I'm glad you're feeling that way.

[Kat]

Yeah. Well, thanks for the email and the voicemails. We normally share those in couch talks, but since we had talked about the underarms in the Feeling Things episode last week, we thought we would share them here. But you can email us or call us. The email is hey [e-mail] yes, and the phone number is 877-207-2077 and we hope whatever you're doing, wherever you are right now, you are having the day

[Amy]

you need to have. Just wondering where you're going with that.

[Kat]

Sometimes I want to say have the day you need to have, but I can't always set it up that way. I end up having to say having the day you need to have.

[Amy]

I want to say, you could just say, wherever you are, we hope that you okay.

[Kat]

Wherever you are, we hope you have the day you need to have the Bye.

[Amy]

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[Kat]

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[Amy]

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[Kat]

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[Amy]

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[Kat]

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