← The Bobby Bones Show
The Bobby Bones Show
FEELING THINGS - Cutting Bangs, Toxic Mold, and Tapping Into Your Creativity
00:46:08
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- [00:00]
A
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- [00:34]
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- [02:16]
A
One, two, three. Hey. All right. Break it down. If you ever have feelings and you just want some, maybe a cat got you covered like a nose brother. Ladies and fellas, we just follow in the spirit where it tell us from the real stuff to the chill stuff and the in between. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just stop and feel things this is Feeling Things with Amy and Kat.
- [02:44]
B
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to Feeling Things. I'm Amy and you're not going to hear Kat's voice today. But my feeling of the day is grateful because the. The voice you are going to hear in addition to me is Allie Fallon, which. Hey, Ali.
- [02:59]
A
Hi.
- [02:59]
B
So Kat hasn't been feeling well for days. She's had a sore throat, then she lost her voice. She's had some sort of an ear infection. Last text I got from her was say a prayer, I'm about to do the Neti pot. I was like, oh yeah, anytime I do the neti pot, it's always a little scary. So she's been miserable for days now. She's pregnant too. So just send some love and prayers Kat's way. And once we realized that Kat wasn't going to be able to record, we were trying to figure out a plan and Kat suggested I see if Allie Fallon could fill in. And I thought that is brilliant as Allie has some very interesting things going on at the moment. Even if she didn't, she's always got nuggets of wisdom for us for sure. But there are just some things going on in your life right now, in this season that you're actively pursuing and I'm so proud of you. So I thought we could talk about that and it could be encouragement to others. I reached out to you, you said yes. Allie's been a friend for years and a mentor to me at times when I walk through different seasons. She's so wise and also I'm excited for people. So my two feelings of the day, I've got two I'm grateful you can do it and I'm excited for people to hear what you're going to share today. And you've been a guest on the podcast before, but not since. We've transitioned to feeling things back in our four things days so people may recognize you from that or your own podcast on my network which is called your story. Allie is an author, a mother, like I said, the host of her own podcast. You've probably seen it pop up on my feed on Saturday, so I encourage you to give that a listen. And she's currently doing a 30 day challenge that is self assigned that's on Instagram. She gave herself and she's working through the artist's way, which I haven't done that in its entirety, but I have the book. My therapist years ago recommended it to me, so I've done bits and pieces of it. You have gone through it in its entirety before. And you're doing it again. I am excited to see how it's showing up for you different in this new season of your life because you have been battling a lot of health things and it was a mystery for a while and now you know that it was caused by mold. So we're going to get into that part of your story. So let's just start, though, with your. Your feeling, the day you can share with us whatever you have going on because this is at the beginning, Kat and I just share our feelings.
- [05:22]
A
Yeah. I love this format so much and, well, I'm excited to be here. That's. I was. That was not what I was going to say, but I am. That is a feeling I'm having. It's very excited to get to chat with you and hang out and catch up on all these things that are going on. The feeling that I thought about before we hit record was relief. Like, almost like a exhale because like you talked about, I've been dealing with a bunch of health challenges. There's been a lot of really big struggles in my life for the last handful of years, and I'm feeling some relief, like some softening around the edges of some of that stuff more recently, I think in large part because of the artist way and this challenge that I'm doing, there's so much happening that is really cool. And so I feel excited to be here. I feel like, ah, yay. And just relieved. Yeah. To be in this part of my story.
- [06:12]
B
Well, I'm glad that you feel that relief. It's an indicator to me that you're rounding a corner because I know it's been a lot for a while now and it's not going to be lost on you. Ally's not the type to have anything get lost. Like it's going to be used in some way, shape or form and to even used for others, which is what you're doing right now when you're showing up online. And I know that you've had, as we all have, I think, an interesting relationship with social media, how we want to show up, when we want to show up, if we want to show up at all. And out of the gate, I'm going to have you share the challenge and also start with the story about your bangs because that was one of your video posts in the last, what's gonna be a total of 30 days. You're probably a little over halfway through that at the moment.
- [07:02]
A
Yeah.
- [07:02]
B
But the bang story was so precious to me and I'm looking at you on video right now, and I see your bangs, and I am a little jealous of the bangs. I have wanted to cut bangs, and I think that that's a great little nugget to start with.
- [07:18]
A
All these things are connected, and it's so wild to see how when you start one thing, the cascading effect of how it changes other parts of your life. But, yeah. So the bang story came because my daughter, who's 5, asked me if she could come with me to get her haircut. I told her, oh, on Tuesday, I have an appointment scheduled. I'm going to go get my haircut. And she was like, can I come? I want to get my haircut too. I was like, sure. She's like, mom, I want to cut bangs. I was like, okay. And my daughter is super creative. She loves fashion. She loves makeup. She loves experimenting with colors and scarves and hats and all kinds of different clothes, and she loves shopping, which is funny because she has not learned that from me by watching me. I mean, I haven't even really given myself permission in my life to shop or be interested in fashion or any of that stuff, so it's just so cool to watch your child have this interest that's unrelated to you. But she is inspiring me. So she's like, mom, I want to cut bangs. You should cut bangs too. And I was like, huh? I'm like, I don't really know about that, but this is, like, on a Sunday, and the appointment's on a Tuesday, so I have some time to think about it. And by the time we show up to the appointment on Tuesday, I'm like, this is part of what I've been inviting in with this challenge and with doing the artist's way again, is more permission to play and experiment and try something that I never in a million years would try. So, you know, like, I had my plan. I was gonna go just get a trim and do the normal thing with my hair. But she's like, mom, I think we should get bangs. We get bangs with me. And I'm like, okay, great. Let's do it. So, I mean, I was a little nervous, because I'm like, bangs feel like a thing that you do when you're in a crisis, like when you go through a breakup or something like that. It felt like a risky choice, but I'm like, okay, it's hair. What's the worst that could happen? You know, I don't like the bangs and whatever. And it was just this really fun thing for her and I to get to do together. And for me to get to show her as her mom that it's okay to experiment and it's okay to play and it's okay to do something. You don't have to know what the outcome is going to be before you try it. You get to just try it and try a new look on that's really different than what you had before. And sometimes it, you know, works and sometimes it doesn't work. But it's not really about it being like the best haircut you've ever had. It's more about just practicing and experimenting. And so it was a really fun experience to have with her. And she looks so cute with her bangs. I was kind of worried because her hair is like, you know, in the Tennessee humidity, her hair is like naturally curly, so it like spirals up real good in the summer. And I'm like, I'm not really sure how the bangs are going to go for her, but her bangs get like spirally curly on her forehead. And it's just the sweetest, cutest thing you've ever seen.
- [09:54]
B
Love that. And I got to say, your bangs look awesome too. So I'm glad you took that.
- [09:59]
A
Thank you.
- [09:59]
B
That risk and you got to do it with her. And there's big risks, which you've talked about that on your challenge as well. And then there's the lower risks. Right. That are bangs. Your hair can grow back. Like, you'll figure that out. I know I had you share the bang story, but we should go back and really talk about the challenge and what your 30 day challenge is and where that even came from, which I believe is the artist's way. So can you explain how that all ties together?
- [10:28]
A
Okay, so I decided to do the artist way again, about. It's been about six weeks now. I've done it before a couple of times, and I know it's so powerful, but it was just one of those things where I've done it a bunch of times and so I kind of forgot about it. And the book was on my shelf and my brother in law was like, hey, have you ever done the artist's way? And I was like, yeah, I have a copy. I can lend it to you. He was like, great. So then I run into my house to go get the copy off the bookshelf and I pull the copy off the bookshelf and I can't explain, like the clarity that dropped in in that moment. It was like, you can't hand this book to him. You have to do this. So I walked back with the book in my hand. And I'm like, I think we should all do this together. And he was like, great. My mother in law lives directly next door. My brother in law lives right around the corner. So it was my husband, my brother in law. So, yeah, the two boys, the brothers, their mom, and then me. And I was like, what if we all did this together? And everyone was like, sure. I can't tell you the number of times I've tried to talk my husband into doing artist way, and he's never had any interest. But then as soon as his brother was interested, he was like, okay, I'll do it. So I ended up ordering Luke a copy, Matt ordered his own copy, Jamie ordered her own copy, and we all just started doing the artist's way together. So that was about six weeks ago. One of the main tenants of the program is that you do what's called morning pages. So you wake up in the morning and for the first 40 minutes of your day, or three pages, whichever comes first, you're writing stream of consciousness. So whatever's on your mind doesn't have to be grammatically correct. In fact, it can just literally be like kind of blah on the page. Like whatever's in your brain comes out. And one of the things that kept coming up for me during my morning pages was this challenge that has been on my mind for a really long time, but I've been talking myself out of it, which is to just get on Instagram every day for 30 days and record a talking to camera video. So this kept coming up in the morning pages. I kept writing about it, but then I would talk myself out of it in morning pages also. Like, I had felt like I had this split personality that was like, one side of me says, instagram's toxic, it's addictive. We shouldn't be on Instagram anyways. There's so much kind of junk there. You know, you get like, wrapped up in like, political arguments and stuff that we can't even influence. And, like, we should just all get off of our phones and go be in nature. So that's one side of me. And then the other side of me is like, so many good things have happened in my life from being on Instagram. And think of all the people on Instagram who inspire me all the time. And it was almost like it was less about the challenge for me, was less about helping someone else. It was more about, like teaching myself what it's like to just show up and try something, experiment, throw something out there without having it be perfect. And So I was kind of volleying back and forth between these two things, but because it kept coming up in my morning pages, there's an element like, oh, you can't ignore this anymore. This is here, and you're either going to do it or you're not going to do it. But if you're not going to do it, you're going to be in this constant argument with yourself. So I finally just decided, I think it was maybe two weeks into doing morning pages that I was going to do this. The way that the challenge came through for me was 30 days talking to camera video every day without worrying about the outcome. So I was just going to record something, kind of whatever was on my mind and put it up and not obsess over it or check it or analytics or comments or any of that. Just kind of do it and put it out there. Today is day 20 of the challenge.
- [13:49]
B
I have loved all of your videos. The bang one stood out to me. That's why I wanted you to talk about it first again. Probably because maybe I need to go cut some bangs just to show myself that I can do that and, you know, step into the unknown, because I think it's scary. My hair gets super humid in the summer and, yeah, what's going to happen to the bangs? And, like, I'll figure it out. And who knows? It could be one of the best decisions ever, and I could fall in love with my bangs and have them for years to come and think, God, wow, if Allie had never posted that video, I would have never cut my bangs. You've also posted about the unconscious rules that keep us stuck. So I'm going to kind of just talk through videos that have stood out to me, and then you can expand on them. Okay, so the unconscious rules that keep us stuck. And again, that's something you're saying that one day that was just on your mind, on your heart. So you open up your phone and you hit record and started talking.
- [14:49]
A
Yeah. And a lot of these ideas are coming through in morning pages. Stuff like I'm learning myself in my own life, and so I'm sharing it. And that video really came from realizing that what you consciously believe, like people talk about, shift your beliefs, shift your life. And I think the piece that's missing from that is that what you consciously believe isn't controlling your life, it's what you unconsciously believe that's controlling your life. So in order to find those unconscious beliefs, you can't really. They're unconscious, so you can't go, oh, I unconsciously believe that I'm a bad person. The unconscious beliefs can only really be found by looking at what's going on in your environment and using it as a mirror to discover what's unconscious. So it's like the example I use is you're living in a house. Let's say it's a beautiful five bedroom house and it's perfectly furnished and clean all the time. But there's a basement in the house, and there's stuff in the basement that you don't see every day. You forget it's down there. You may never even go down to the basement. That basement is your unconscious. So there's all this unconscious material that is driving your life, that's creating your reality that you. You don't look at. So you don't know what's there until you do morning pages. And then morning pages force you to look at what's unconscious. So you start seeing all these unconscious fears, unconscious beliefs that are creating your external reality. And the way to really get to those unconscious beliefs is through morning pages. So I started realizing, oh my gosh, there's all these unconscious rules that I carry. The bangs is a great example. It's like, oh, bangs are only for when you're going through a breakup. That's an unconscious rule that I'm carrying that I didn't notice was there until my daughter said, do you want to cut bangs? Oh, no, I can't cut bangs. I'm not in a. I'm not having a midlife crisis. You know, maybe I am kind of having a midlife crisis, but do you see what I'm saying? So, like, the are those unconscious rules are driving our behavior. They're keeping us from experimentation. They're keeping us from trying something. They're keeping us from taking a chance on something because we believe X, Y or Z. But because it's unconscious, we don't see it operating until we put pen to paper.
- [16:58]
B
Yeah, and I know we're using the bangs thing as an example, but you could fill that in the blank for something more significant of what the basement step is keeping you from. Like a relationship, true relationship with other people, something career wise, you know, and those are definitely more significant impacts than getting some scissors and cutting your bangs.
- [17:22]
A
And like, these unconscious rules we have are formed through our own experience, but I also believe now they're passed down epigenetically. So this is why it's so important to get into contact with our unconscious beliefs and rules, because it could be you were unconsciously taught by a parent who was unconscious that, for example, money is scarce. So here's something I've been working on in my life because we've. We took this big risk on a business venture. Like, I feel like I was like, breaking unconscious cycles around money in my family. And then Matt and I took this big risk on a business venture that fell apart. And it's caused a lot of stress and frustration in the last few years of my life. And so I'm like, okay, if I'm willing to look at this as this external circumstance, as a mirror of my internal belief system, I can see that there were many beliefs that were passed down from my parents that were unconscious in them, unconscious in me. So nobody's malicious. Nobody's teaching you, you know, money is always scarce, but that's being passed down parent to child. And then that belief is showing up in your life. And so by using these two, like using your external experiences as a mirror and also using the morning pages, you can unearth some of these beliefs and go like, do I want to keep on believing that or do I want to believe something different? It's a journey. It's not just like, oh, in 10 days of morning pages, I've fixed every unconscious belief I have, but it gives you access to the basement.
- [18:51]
B
You just mentioned Matt, so I want to talk about him going through this as well. And a video you posted around the purpose of creativity and, and it was a really sweet story of you sitting in another room and you could hear someone playing the piano in the background. And I had no idea Matt could play the piano.
- [19:19]
A
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- [19:49]
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- [22:40]
A
Yes. Back in touch with his own creativity. I mean, I think the money stress has been going on for, I don't know, a handful of years depends on how you measure it. But it's been probably six years since I've heard him play the piano. He's a very gifted musician. He plays the guitar, he plays the piano. He has a beautiful voice. He wrote music for years. He worked at a church and led worship, and he's a beautiful musician, and it's a big part of who he is and how he expresses himself. But the money stress that we've been in, I think he's really taken it on his shoulders and wanted to, you know, fix the problem and reroute that story. And it has blocked that really, like, innocent, childlike, creative part of him that wants to express, that wants to just play on the piano like that wants to just enjoy what it feels like to play music. I think that as adults, we get this idea that, like, unless it makes me money, unless it is moving the needle, unless it's productive, unless it's providing for my family, then I can't. And actually, I'm. I've always known this, but I'm watching in real time this reminder that, like, the creativity is what fuels everything else. Creativity is first, and without that spirit, without that innocence, without that creativity, that play, that experimentation, nothing else matters. It all loses its substance. And so I think that's what the artist's way is really about. It's about reclaiming that part of yourself that knew before you even were taught what it looked like to experiment and play.
- [24:14]
B
Which not to keep bringing it back to the bangs, but even you mentioning him playing with childlike curiosity on the piano, you know, your daughter was like, I want to get bangs. Like, she didn't have any of these blocks where you had built. One example might just be, oh, no, that's for a midlife crisis. But adults could come up with five other reasons not to do something like that. But a kid, yes. They can think of something and just want to give it a go.
- [24:42]
A
Yes. And we could all stand a little bit more of that willingness in our lives. You have an idea for something, and it's like, why not just give it a try? Go take improv classes. Go, you know, sit down, play the piano. Like, just dink around. Go out tonight to dinner. Instead of cooking at home, Go or cook at home. Finally, instead of always eating out or whatever, it is like, just something different that something that excites you.
- [25:06]
B
The improv classes that I took, I only took because of you. I was Inspired by you 100%. Went to the same place that you went. I took level one two different times. I have a block. I'm not graduating myself to any kind of level two, level three. But that was something that was, for me, that did help my creativity and also just my whimsy. And how I was approaching life, especially when actively taking classes. Now it's something I have to be more intentional about, working into my day. But when you're going to class every week, it's easier to work the whimsy into your life because it's top of mind. Ever since then, though, I make it a point to try to work in the whimsy with myself, with my kids. I love these newsletters I get from Anna Voss. She's a singer songwriter, and she puts out weekly newsletters that share whimsies for the week. And she'll give three different examples. And one of them in her newsletter this week was about making your mug that you sip out of, whether it's tea or coffee, but making it lucky. And you set a timer for 30 seconds. She said, then take a deep breath, like, think and wish all the luck you can into your mug, like, just with all your might. So now every time you take a sip, you're drinking good luck.
- [26:36]
A
I love that so much. Speaking of childlike wonder, like, isn't that something a kid would do? You know, and as adults, we're just like, oh, that's ridiculous. That doesn't make any sense. That's not practical. Like, but as a kid, you would be like, this is my lucky cup. Every time I take a sip, it's a luck. You know, I'm taking a sip of luck. That's so fabulous.
- [26:55]
B
Yeah, I just got her newsletter. I guess it was this morning or yesterday, but that was one of the whimsies. And I thought, oh, that's so cute. And I want my days to be filled with little things like that. And I feel like I was fully introduced to whimsy by taking the improv classes. Because somewhere between my childhood and adult, I lost all whimsy. And then improv just had me doing really silly things around my house. Just impromptu conversations with my dog, my cat, making up weird scenarios like, but it's fun. Some of it will remain private because I'm gonna sound like a crazy person. But it's for you, one of Anna's other ones. And this is from a couple of months ago, so I'll just try to remember it. But she said, get a post it note and write something silly on it that only you know what it is. And then put it in your pocket and carry it around all day like nobody else will know it's. But you know it's there.
- [27:50]
A
Oh, my gosh, what a great newsletter. I need to be signed up for this newsletter.
- [27:55]
B
Yeah, it's Anna Voss. A, N, N, A. And then V, A, U, S, I think is how you spell her last name. Like, she's, she's great. And speaking of musical talent similar to your husband, like, she's just very gifted. I love learning that about Matt, that, that I know something that he used to do and now he's bringing it back into his life from a place of joy, not labor of any sorts. So another video you posted was, this is how you know your creativity isn't working.
- [28:28]
A
So this is about reframing the way that we think about our art and it ties back to what we said about Matt and the piano. I think in our culture, we're so addicted and attached to seeing metrics for things. So like I was saying to you, Amy, when you asked me if I would talk about the challenge, I was saying how the challenge has been so enlightening for me. Like, this has been one of the best things I've ever done. I'm so happy I did it. And at the same time, like, the metrics on these videos are not there. The videos just aren't performing as well as other videos that I post. And there's like a lot of practical reasons for that. Like, they're longer form content, which doesn't always perform well on Instagram, and they're not really optimized for the platform. So I understand why. They're also kind of off brand for me because I'm normally talking about publishing and writing books and stuff. There's reasons, practical reasons, why they might not be performing as well. But I think it's so tricky for us to shift out of doing something so that it performs well. Like, so that it works versus doing something because it feeds our whimsy. Doing something because it's fun, because it's interesting, because we felt inspired to do it, because it lights us up inside. Because, just because to see what might happen, to experiment. And it's so tricky for us. I've noticed myself at different points in the challenge being like, oh, it's not working. And then I have to be like, wait a second. It is working. Because what was the objective in the first place? It didn't have anything to do with me growing my Instagram account. This is working. The insight came through to me. Like, open your mouth and speak. Like, just be willing to show up, put your face on the camera, open your mouth and say whatever comes to your mind. It doesn't always have to be viral. It doesn't always have to be life changing. It doesn't always have to be like, the best thing you've ever heard. Like, it can just literally be kind of a nothing thing. But I'm doing it, and I think that was the point.
- [30:17]
B
Yeah, that's exactly it. You're showing up. You made this challenge yourself, and then at the end of it, you're gonna be like, oh, I. I can trust myself. I follow through on my word.
- [30:26]
A
Yes.
- [30:27]
B
Which is gonna be another gift at the end of the challenge.
- [30:30]
A
Yeah, exactly.
- [30:31]
B
There was another video. A reason for Ritual.
- [30:34]
A
Okay. This is about dropping our ideas about discipline, because in our culture, we're, like, so obsessed with discipline. And people will say to me, like, I've spent the last decade of my life helping people write books, and people will often say to me, oh, I don't have the discipline to do that. I could never do that. I don't have the discipline. I don't wake up early. Blah, blah, blah. And I would say that back then. And then during this challenge, this came up for me again. What are we. Why are we so obsessed with discipline? Why do we think discipline is how things get done? It's really not like discipline can produce a result, but if we're shifting out of that paradigm where the result is what matters, then we can shift into a paradigm where actually just repetition and ritual is what's needed in order to create. It's just showing up to the same place at the same time every day. Like you were talking about with the improv classes, how easy it was to have whimsy when you go to improv class. Well, that's because there's a container called improv class that you go to, and you show up at 3pm and that's your container for whimsy. That's not discipline. That's just repetition. It's just ritual. It's just, this is the time we go to improv class, so you don't have to wake up early to do your creativity. In fact, one of the paradigms I've broken with artist way this time around, and one of the reasons it took me so long to do it again is because I was like, oh, I don't. I can't wake up early anymore. I have two little kids, and I have to get them out the door, and I can't do this first thing in the morning. So don't do it first thing in the morning, but do it at 3pm that's fine. Do it whenever you can find time to do it. You know, like, break those inner rules that you have that this has to be done in a Certain way. Or you'd have to wake up early or you'd have to be more. Whatever. Find a way to protect a little bit of time. That is for your creativity. That's for your whimsy. That's for you. That's for nourishing and nurturing you. That little you. You know, like the. My daughter who's five, who's like, I want to cut bangs. Like, what does that little version of you look like? And feed her, nourish her. And it's just about. That, to me is the opposite of discipline. Discipline is like, get up, get out of bed, get. Make do something productive, you know, make something of yourself. And I'm like, no, less of that. We have plenty of that. We're all good on the discipline front.
- [32:44]
B
Add more of the ritual and showing up, which is what you're doing with these videos every day.
- [32:49]
A
Yes. But again, like, showing up is not. Maybe I'm just taking issue with the word discipline because I guess it does take a certain measure of discipline to show up every day, even when I don't want to. There have been days on Instagram where I'm like, can't believe I have to do this today. Yeah.
- [33:02]
B
Well, so I was thinking of that as your third. This is part of your 30 day ritual. Like, it's not like you're like, oh, if I don't make the video by 8am, like, I've ruined it. No, no. You're waiting to feel whatever it is that you decide is going to be your topic. And you're opening up the camera just wherever you. You're in the car, you're on your couch. It's not overthought, not over produced. Like there's nothing. You're just.
- [33:25]
A
Yes.
- [33:26]
B
Tapping record. So I'm not seeing that as discipline. I'm seeing it as you've decided that it's going to be your 30 day ritual and you're holding yourself accountable because you want to complete the challenge. But it's not like this strict.
- [33:39]
A
Yes.
- [33:40]
B
Like all these rules around it. Other than that, you don't want to have rules with it. That's the rule.
- [33:46]
A
Yes. The rule is no rules. The rule is just show up and be. Yes, exactly.
- [33:51]
B
All right. Another video was why you can't overcome a broken body.
- [33:57]
A
Oh, yes. This is a big one. This is a big learning for me because I've been pretty sick for a long time. And like you mentioned at the beginning of the episode, we've recently found out that what's been making me sick is Toxic mold that we found in our crawl space. So that's a long story that I don't have to go into. But basically, it's. It's great to have answers for what's been going on with me physically. I've had cardiac issues. I've had neurological issues. I've been so fatigued for so many years. All kinds of random issues popping up. And for so much of that time, I feel like I've been in this war with my body to try to fix it. Like, I gotta figure out what's going on. I gotta figure out the problem. I gotta attack this and fix it. And even now that I have an answer, it does feel good, I have to admit. To have an answer. For a while, it was like, well, maybe you have Ms. Maybe you have. There were a bunch of other things that the doctors thought it might be. To have an answer that it's toxic mold feels nice, because at least now we have a path to walk. But even with the path to walk, it's not like, oh, here's a pill, and everything's better and moving on. It's learning how to be in a relationship with my body where I have so much respect and love for my body that my body being sick is actually not a problem. My body being sick is my body communicating with me about something that's going on. I met with, like, this. I don't even know how to explain her. She's like a therapist, Sl. Healer. But I met with her and was talking with her about a bunch of the mold stuff they talk about. The person who gets sick in the house with mold is the canary in the coal mine. It's like the one sensitive person who gets sick first. And I was telling her how exhausted I feel of always being that person. It feels like I'm being high maintenance. It feels like I'm, you know, I'm causing a problem. All this stuff. She was like, what if we reframe that and think of it like your body protecting your entire family? Your body is literally screaming at you because it's like, don't let your kids get sick. Don't let your husband get sick. Get out of the house. Like, get this taken care of. Don't listen to the doctors who tell you you're fine. You know, your. Your body was unwilling to stop screaming at you until you listened to what she had to say.
- [36:05]
B
Something I want to add to that, just for people that maybe don't know a lot about toxic mold, because I only recently learned this, that we all react so differently. I learned that I could live in a house with mold for months and months, and my body may not ever give me a signal, but I am still taking it in. Stuff still could be happening to me. Whereas another person might walk in and within the first hour they're getting symptoms. So it's really just the way we're made up. The we're all so unique, and your body was. Is more sensitive to it, which I think is great that you now an indicator. Like, I would be like, oh, thank you for having these signs. So now we know we can fix it, because I would have eventually still been impacted by it.
- [36:54]
A
Yeah. And truly, like, when we first found out that the mold was happening, we moved out of the house so we could remediate. And Matt was like, oh, wait, all of a sudden I'm sleeping better, I'm breathing better. He had like this eye twitch that was happening forever that suddenly stopped. So it's like, okay, the mold was affecting you, but you just weren't ready.
- [37:12]
B
Yeah.
- [37:13]
A
So, yeah. I don't know. It's just about learning that your body is your greatest ally, that your body is, you know, innately intelligent and wise and is always speaking to you. And I think sometimes with our bodies, we're like. We treat our bodies like, I don't know, like a mean boomer child treats the kids like, sit down, shut up. You know, mind your manners. Kids are meant to be seen and not heard kind of a thing. Like shaking our finger at our bodies to, like, stay thin, be healthy, don't make a too big of a deal out of this. And this experience has really taught me to soften toward my body and listen to her, because she's my teammate and my ally, and she's always protecting me.
- [37:52]
B
And she did just that for you.
- [37:54]
A
She did.
- [37:55]
B
How many months did it take for you to get an answer?
- [38:08]
A
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- [41:17]
A
Well, it depends on how you measure this. I have been sick really since 2021. If I trace it all the way back like I was having repeated sinus infections over and over and over again. Respiratory stuff and Then it wasn't until fall of last year that I went to the ER with heart attack symptoms. And that was, like, the big red flags. We were just like, something's going on. And then I started having neurological symptoms at the beginning of this year. And that was when the Ms. Diagnosis came into the picture, because I went to the ER a few more times, and so they sent me to neurology. They did a whole MRI scan. They thought for sure I had Ms. And then my MRI was not consistent with that diagnosis. So. And all the ER doctors, everyone was just kind of like, we don't know what to tell you. You're fine. Maybe you're just stressed. Like, I feel like women get told this a lot in the medical system. Like, here's some advan, you know, like, just maybe do yoga, you know? And I'm like, I do do yoga. I teach yoga. Like, I know what it feels like to be stressed, and this is not what that is. Then that was when I started learning, because people were telling me, you should be tested for Lymes. That came back negative. You should be tested for all these autoimmune conditions. All those tests came back negative. So I was starting to feel crazy. I mean, I was just like, by. Okay, I was in the ER again in February of this year, and by April, I was feeling nuts. Like, I was like, I guess I'm just imagining it. And then people were sending me all these different things, and someone said, you should check your house for toxic mold. And my chiropractor actually was like, hey, I can send out for a urine test if you'd like. And we sent out for urine test, and sure enough, came back with high levels of three different kinds of toxic mold. So then that was what triggered the inspector in our house. We found the mold in the crawl space. And in my head, like, because I knew nothing about mold, this all seemed so improbable to me. I was like, then they found mold in the crawl space. And I was like, well, the crawl space isn't even part of our house. And the inspector was explaining to me how, first of all, the vents in our bedroom were not ever properly sealed by the builder, so the air from the crawl space was coming up into our bedroom. But second of all, even without the vent situation happening, mold travels upward with hot air, so it will eventually make its way into every part of your house. The mycotoxins will. So once we figured that out, then it was like, okay, remediate the mold in the crawl space, fully encapsulate the crawl space and create an environment down there where no more mold can grow. So that's all been done, and now I'm detoxing my body, which is another long, slow process.
- [43:53]
B
I was thinking about a mutual friend that we have who went through something similar, and her body was the very sensitive one to it. And even for her, all the people that she was seeing, it took forever to diagnose. Now I just think, should mold be one of the top. Go to things that if someone comes in and can't explain these symptoms, like, even in my small circle, I can think of people that this has happened to now, including you, to where I'm like, why is this not more of a hey, let's test for mold?
- [44:29]
A
I know. I mean, to this day, like, I'm talking February 2026, I was in the ER bringing that mold to the ER doctors. And they're like, no, mold could never do this.
- [44:38]
B
Interesting.
- [44:38]
A
I'm like, my legs are numb from above my knees to my feet, you know, and the ER doctors are like, no, mold couldn't do that. Well, let me tell you, mold can do that because it did that. So it's crazy what mold can do. Yeah. And the mutual friend that we're talking about, I think her symptoms were even worse than. More severe than mine. It's wild. It's truly wild. And I will say, the other thing that happens with. In case this helps anyone who may be unknowingly dealing with toxic mold, one of the symptoms that rose above everything else that I kept coming back to, because I've had anxiety before my whole life. It's something I'm prone to. I've been. There was a time in my life many years ago where I was medicated for anxiety, so I know what it feels like to have anxiety. What the mold does is it attacks your nervous system in such a way where the anxiety that you feel is otherworldly. I've never experienced anything like this before. Like, this impending sense of doom, like the world is coming to an end, is inexplicable. And that was the symptom that even the other symptoms were obviously more ER symptoms, like chest pain, sweating, heart palpitations, that kind of stuff. And then the neurological stuff. The numbness was weird, but the feeling like I'm going to die was mold. And it was just such a relief to know that, because it's just like, oh, I'm not crazy. I'm not making that up. That's really. You know, the doctors would say, you must just be anxious and I'm like, no, I am anxious, but this feeling I'm having is not normal anxiety. And I've since learned it's an. It's a direct attack on your nervous system that makes you feel like you're in threat.
- [46:15]
B
So what does your detox journey look like?
- [46:19]
A
Well, I'm on a detox protocol that is. I mean, we're still kind of titrating it to make it work for me, because when I first started, I was just really sick all the time. And I have a few people on my team who are helping me figure out how to do the detox without feeling so sick that I can't function, but allowing my body to have some of the detox symptoms that are necessary to get back to normal. And my practitioner, my. I'm meeting with a functional medicine doctor who told me six to 18 months is what I should expect for healing. And I have some days where I'm, like, feeling so much better that I. I'm like, oh, oh. Like, I haven't felt like this in years. And then I have days where I don't feel that great at all. So it's. It's, you know, ups and downs. But I'm really grateful to be at least on the other side of it.
- [47:09]
B
Is it through food, certain modalities like sauna, sweating, or just a peek into your protocol? I know for everybody, it might look different. But also hearing that you're having to practice so much patience that I think it's best to take it slow. Like you said. I mean, you're a mom and also trying to show up for yourself and other people and work and do all the things so you can't be down for the count. But it's definitely a journey. So what's an example of your protocol?
- [47:38]
A
There's always in every detox protocol, a detox agent. And you can use binders, which are whatever. You can also use, like, a pharmaceutical binder, which is what I'm using. Cholesteramine, I think, is what it's called, the binder that I'm on. And then a bunch of nervous system and immune support. So, like, it's like vitamin C, silver, nac. There's a list of a bunch of different things that I'm on to support the nervous system and the immune system, and then probiotics and all that kind of stuff. And then, yes, sauna, anything that you can do. Like, I'm just trying to move my body every day and sweat at least a little bit. Sometimes the sauna can be too intense. Especially with the cardiac symptoms. Like, some days I can go sit in the sauna for 20 minutes and I do great. And some days I'll sit in there for eight minutes and I'll feel like I'm in a. My heart's gonna beat outta my chest. So some days I just can't do it and I. That's where listening to my body comes in. Here's the takeaway. That's what I'm realizing about the detox protocol. The entire foundation for the detox protocol is nervous system support. So making my nervous system feel safe enough to detox everything else on top of that is icing on the cake. So, like, the pharmaceutical detox agent is necessary. It's a necessary part of this. But without the nervous system support, it's just gonna recirculate the toxins through your body. So it has to be a both and both.
- [49:03]
B
And that makes me think of improv, which is yes and yes and yes. And the first rule of improv. Yes and yeah.
- [49:11]
A
It's like, how can I say yes to this experience and yes to my body and still support myself? You know? Like, it goes back to that conversation about not treating your body like some obstacle that you need to overcome. It's like, hurry up and get back on track so we can go back to producing stuff. It's more like we're in a daily conversation, my body and me. And some days are easier than others, and some days she speaks louder than others. And I have to really have a deep, deep trust that she is on my team.
- [49:43]
B
Well. And I know that the artist's way wasn't a protocol given to you by someone on your team. And it sounds as though it's absolutely part of your protocol because it's helping your nervous system, no doubt, a thousand percent.
- [49:57]
A
And this is where, like, trusting the wisdom of your body comes into play. Because that moment, I pulled that book out of the shelf and looked at it, and my whole body went, you're supposed to do this. Like, this is. This Honestly ties the whole conversation together. Because we have moments like that every day. If you're paying attention, where you go, I'm supposed to do this. I'm supposed to cut bangs. I'm supposed to read this book. I'm supposed to do this program. I'm supposed to do this challenge, and we have to have enough trust in ourselves to go, okay, I'm going to jump in. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know how it's going to turn out. I don't know if it's going to quote, unquote work, but we're going to do it because I'm trusting myself enough to take this chance.
- [50:35]
B
Well, thank you, Allie, for sharing your challenge with us. I hope that someone listening right now is like, oh, you know what? I've wanted to do XYZ for myself, and I just haven't sat down and made it happen. It doesn't have to be a video Instagram type challenge. It could be anything. It could be that you want to sit down and journal anything every day. Yeah. Or some other creative outlet or creative activity. Or I want to draw more. Or I've been meaning to get out my paintbrushes. Or I want to read more. Something that I set as a goal for 2026 was to read more. And I have read more this year. Read and listened. Some are on audible. Most of the time, I'm doing both. So I'll have the hard copy of the book and I go back and forth so that way I don't lose interest. Like, I keep myself motivated. Cause when I'm driving, I can listen, and then when I'm going to bed at night, I can bust out the book. I want to recognize that I've done it. We're halfway through the year, and I've read so many amazing books and have been introduced to new authors, new genres that I didn't really know that I would enjoy. I'm loving historical fiction. I would say most of my life, I would never have defined myself as a reader. It's crazy. So that's been my challenge. And I hope that somebody else. If there's something you've wanted to do, just do it and become it. Because I think that's also a story I told myself for years and years is I'm just not really a reader or it's gotta be nonfiction for me to read it. Well, those were just blocks because now I'm proof that I can be entertained and I can get lost in a story and it can be completely made up from somebody else's brain. Well, thank you. Thank you, Amy, for coming on especially so last minute. I know Kat is grateful, and I'm glad that you popped into Kat's head, because Kat and I were talking about it, and right when she said your name, I was like, oh, duh. Like, that makes so much sense. And I knew all the reasons why, because I thought, well, I've been enjoying all of her videos. And I think a challenge like that, again, it doesn't have to be exactly what you're doing. But it's just inspiring to know that you're putting yourself out there and you're doing something and you're going to keep showing up and the reason behind it all. And obviously talking about the artist's way is always fun and I have not done it all the way through, but I must say, you maybe just sold me that I need to go all the way through the artist. Wait, it's your turn. Which, speaking of books, that's another great one that people could order and and check out.
- [53:17]
A
Yes.
- [53:18]
B
Is it on audio at all? I don't know.
- [53:20]
A
It is on audio. Yes. I know Luke's listening to it on audio and it's like 15 bucks. I'm like, wow. To look at. I could talk for hours about all the ways that my husband's life has changed, Luke's life, my life, and I'm like, wow, it's $15 for all this life change. So it's a great one. If that is inspiring you and Ally,
- [53:39]
B
where can people find you?
- [53:40]
A
The best place to find me right now is on Instagram. My handle is Justly Fallon. A L L Y F A L
- [53:46]
B
L O N and then Ally's podcast as well. Write your story.
- [53:50]
A
Yes.
- [53:51]
B
And you've shared more details of your health journey over there, too, in case anybody else either is experiencing a toxic mold situation or they've had different ailments and like, wait a second, I wonder if mold could be the thing, because I know you've unpacked a lot of it over there on Write youe Story. So yeah, y' all can go check out episodes there. And until then, wherever you are, we hope you have the day you need to have. Bye.
- [54:26]
A
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