FEELING THINGS: Signs Your Friendship Feels Like Home & Will Amy’s Oura Ring Keep Her Single?

Summary

The Bobby Bones Show – "FEELING THINGS: Signs Your Friendship Feels Like Home & Will Amy’s Oura Ring Keep Her Single?"

Date: May 3, 2026
Hosts: Amy & Kat

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Episode Overview

This "Feeling Things" segment of The Bobby Bones Show with Amy and Kat dives into the feeling of friendship that "feels like home"—what makes a friendship safe and authentic. They candidly explore recent book recommendations, the quirks and observations surrounding wellness tech (like Amy's obsession with her Oura ring), insight on body image during pregnancy, boundaries around commenting on people's appearance, and what leads us to drift from friends as life changes. The tone is warm, honest, playful, and sometimes laugh-out-loud funny, blending deep moments with irreverent banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Feelings Check-In & Book Talk

(02:49 - 12:36)

• Amy is feeling "thankful" and Kat is "scattered." Amy shares gratitude for Kat’s recent book recommendation and Kelsey's always-on-point picks.
• Amy struggled to get into “The Names,” recommended by Kelsey, even though Kelsey's book recs are almost always hits (03:06). She describes its structure—following three possible names and their impact on a child's life trajectory (04:28).
• Kat recommends "The Housemaid" trilogy, including a recent movie adaptation that stays very true to the book (06:34). Amy gushed about immersion reading ("The immersion reading is so great for me" – Amy, 07:03).
• Kat is working through "Theo of Golden," finds it a tougher, more sophisticated read. They laugh about beach-reading more challenging books and seeing other beachgoers with the same book (09:15).
• Discussion of how some authors get big—Amy speculates about the publishing process and how some buy their own books to make bestseller lists (12:02).

2. "Wet My Whistle," TV Frontal Talk & The Oura Ring

(16:21 - 20:36)

• Kat dislikes the phrase “wet my whistle” and admits it now sounds off-color (16:21).
• They banter about TV shows pushing boundaries with nudity (Righteous Gemstones, Game of Thrones prequel, "Beef" on Netflix)—Amy laughs about calling male frontal nudity a "whistle" (17:06).
• Amy then pivots to her Oura ring obsession—how tracking her sleep has become a priority, joking, "I don't know that I'll ever be with a whistle again because all I care about now is my sleep" (18:40). Kat points out this might conflict once new relationship excitement hits.
• Amy details tracking sleep, cycle, and how wearable tech impacted her noticing changes and scheduling healthcare (20:46).

3. Cards & Sports: Connecting with Friends, Golf Style

(23:38 - 26:10)

• Kat recommends the card game "Play Nine"—a golf-themed card game you can play anywhere with 2+ people (23:52).
• Shares a touching sports story: Pro golfer Matt Fitzpatrick helped his brother get onto the PGA Tour by teaming up in a special tournament (25:22).
• Light, playful nods to balancing the episode’s “ovary talk” with “golf talk.”

4. Myths, Social Media Comments & Boundaries

(26:10 - 36:40)

• Amy recounts seeing a social media comment claiming "talking with your hands" is a sign of an eating disorder. Kat (as a therapist): "Very confidently, I have Never, in my 15 years of working in this field" heard that. (27:15)
• Discussion on online negativity: “If you aren’t willing to say it face-to-face, then don’t type it.” (28:00)
• The acronym “WAIT”/“WASTE”—Why Am I Saying This?—as a filter before commenting on appearance (31:35, 32:26).
• Amy recalls once talking with her hands so much she ripped an earring out at a birthday party (37:17).

5. Signs of a Safe Friendship/When Friendship Feels Like Home

(37:55 - 44:25)

Amy introduces a list from Medium detailing what makes a friendship feel safe, "like home"—they vulnerably assess their own friendship against these:

• You can be yourself without editing (38:06).
• You don't overthink texts or replay convos after (38:28).
• Silence feels comfortable (39:02).
• You feel supported even when you’re not at your best (39:13).
• They celebrate you without making it about them (39:19). (Kat highlights Amy’s compassion on this.)
• You don’t feel “too much” or “not enough” (43:22).
• They speak about you respectfully, even when absent (43:46).
• You feel calm, not drained, afterwards (43:58).
• No need to "earn your place"; it’s already yours (44:03).
• Both note that not all friendships have all these qualities all the time, and that’s okay.

6. Friends Lost, Relationships, and Life Shifts

(44:25 - 50:31)

• Amy shares an Oxford study saying the average woman has 5 core friends, but loses 2 when entering a new relationship (44:39).
• Kat discusses natural friendship drift as life stages change, based on recent conversations with her husband (45:12).
• Both agree friendship can survive less time together and maintain meaningful bonds even with less frequent contact.
• Reflection on Amy’s own relationships and shifting routines—swapping friend walks for walks with a partner (48:18).

7. Voicemail: Pregnancy, Bodies, and Compliments

(54:39 - 59:00)

• Listener McKenna leaves a heartfelt message (54:46):
  She had severe HG during pregnancy (unable to eat, vomiting daily), lost weight or barely gained, and was constantly complimented for “not gaining much” by others—without people realizing she was sick. "I couldn't express to people what I would give to just be able to eat a full meal."
• Kat and Amy echo that comments on bodies are best avoided, especially during pregnancy—you never know someone else's reality (56:01–57:57).

8. "Twist The Ring" and WAIST: How to Filter Comments

(59:00 - 61:09)

• Reiterating the WAIT/WASTE strategy: “Why Am I Saying This?” and recommend taking a beat (“twist your ring three times,” à la Brene Brown) before commenting on appearance (59:13).
• Amy points out weight loss isn’t always positive—could be due to illness, depression, or other reasons invisible to others (59:22).
• Kat: "If you are, because people who have eating disorders get pregnant...if I'm sharing that...I'm like, good job, you haven't gained any baby weight, you look so good...that also could be telling her eating disorder, 'you're doing a really good job, keep it up.'" (60:23).

9. Book Wrap-up & Bonus Episode Alert

(61:16 - End)

• Amy and Kat wrap up the book talk, encouraging listeners to share their experiences with “The Names” for motivation to finish it (“I could use that little nudge of encouragement because if I didn’t have all the encouragement about Theo of Golden, I would have already put it down.” – Kat, 62:09).
• Amy teases a special bonus episode with Pastor Matt Smallbone about his new book “The Prayer Experiment,” sharing his yearlong journey praying through a miscarriage (63:41–65:28).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I don’t know that I’ll ever be with a whistle again because all I care about now is my sleep.” – Amy (18:40)
• “Very confidently, I have Never, in my 15 years of working in this field...heard there to be a correlation between hand talking and eating disorders.” – Kat (27:15)
• “If you aren’t willing to say it face-to-face, then don’t type it.” – Amy (28:00)
• “When people talk with their hands, it adds and it makes them appear more confident a lot of times.” – Kat (36:27)
• “You could have an eating disorder and talk with your hands…but they're not actually connected.” – Kat (27:39)
• "I couldn't express to people what I would give to just be able to eat a full meal." – Listener McKenna (54:46)
• "I have to prepare my body for sleep so I can get good sleep. So anyway, I'm just saying, my ring is going to keep me single because now I care about sleep a lot." – Amy (19:51)
• “Why am I saying this?” (“WASTE”/“WAIT” — tool to check yourself before commenting) – Kat & Amy (multiple, 32:26, 57:19)
• “You don’t have to earn your place. It’s already yours.” – Amy (44:03, on safe friendships)

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Important Timestamps

• 02:49 – Feelings check-in, book talk begins
• 04:26 – Explaining “The Names” book structure
• 06:34 – Discussion of "The Housemaid" series & reading strategies
• 16:21 – “Wet my whistle,” TV shows, and Oura ring chat
• 18:40 – Amy jokes Oura Ring will keep her single
• 23:52 – "Play Nine" card game & Fitzpatrick golf story
• 27:15 – Eating disorder myth & hand-talking addressed
• 31:35 – Using WAIT/WASTE before comments
• 37:55 – Signs your friendship feels like home
• 44:39 – Losing friends when entering relationships
• 54:46 – Listener voicemail: pregnancy compliments & distress
• 59:13 – “Twist your ring” rule before commenting
• 61:16 – Wrap-up on book encouragement, bonus episode tease

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Takeaways

• Safe friendships are marked by comfort, respect, and authenticity—not overthinking or feeling drained.
• Life changes will naturally evolve your friend circle. It’s normal for some connections to shift or fade, but the core bonds can remain.
• Be gentle with yourself about reading tastes and book choices; not every recommendation will land for everyone.
• Don’t comment on people’s bodies—even well-meaning remarks can misfire and be harmful, especially in sensitive times like pregnancy.
• Use WAIT/WASTE as an internal check before offering any observation about another’s appearance.
• Wearable tech (like the Oura ring) can be a double-edged sword—helpful for insight, but possibly an obstacle to spontaneity!
• Encouragement and empathy—whether for sluggish reading, awkward moments, or big life changes—are always in style.

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“Let’s just twist the ring until we find something else to say...Don’t even say it.” – Kat (60:58)

Transcript

[Kat]

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[Amy]

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[Kat]

1.

[Amy]

2, 3.

[Kat]

If you ever have feelings and you just want some, maybe a cat got you covered like a num brother Ladies and, fellas, we just follow in the

[Amy]

spirit where it tell us from the

[Kat]

real stuff to the chill stuff and the in between. Sometimes the best thing you can do

[Amy]

is just stop and feel things.

[Kat]

This is Feeling Things Things with Amy and Kat.

[Amy]

Happy Tuesday. Welcome to Feeling Things. I'm Amy.

[Kat]

And I'm Kat.

[Amy]

And my feeling of the day is thankful.

[Kat]

My feeling of the day is scattered. And I'm gonna have you talk about your feeling first because I'm so scattered. I don't remember why that was my feeling.

[Amy]

Oh, you just wrote it down.

[Kat]

I wrote it down earlier this morning.

[Amy]

And that makes sense. No, I scattered. You lost. You lost the feeling. Lost, Scattered. Okay. We'll all talk and you think, okay. But what I'm thankful for has to do directly with you. So I want you to hear my gratitude. Okay, so I texted you because I was looking for a book. I started a book called the Names, and I cannot get into it. However, this is a recommendation from Kelsey, who's Mike D's wife. Mike D's on the Bobby Bone show, and his wife is an avid reader and she has been batting a thousand when it comes to book recommendations. Like, she does not miss. She let me borrow names. Like, she sent it with Mike and Mike just showed up. I didn't even ask her. He's just like, here's another book. And I was like, oh, my gosh, this is going to be good. And I can't get into it. Let me tell you the premise. Okay, so the storyline follows the life of this mom and child. A whole family. There's a husband, a sister, and there's three different name options for this kid. And there's every, like, there's every chapter. I don't know. Bulk of the book. I don't know this style of writing. I don't know how to, like, part. Every part. Yes, Part. Like part one.

[Kat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bulk.

[Amy]

I didn't know how to. Yes.

[Kat]

Tough part.

[Amy]

Yeah, maybe I'm scattered. You know, each bulk, each section, it would be like circling three different names. So it'd be like a chapter in that part would be. If we named the baby this, this is what would have happened in life, right? The whole scenario.

[Kat]

Hear this.

[Amy]

Right now I know you're with child and you're probably thinking of baby names. And then the. The second chapter in the first Bulk would be okay. And this is the trajectory of our life since we named the baby this. And then there's a third name option, but it takes you through all three names, like, from birth and Then the next part is like age 8 and the next part is age, so it goes all the way.

[Kat]

Do you know. Do you remember the names?

[Amy]

Allie made it to part two. Yeah. Bear, Jillian and Gordon or something.

[Kat]

Is it a girl or a boy?

[Amy]

It's a boy.

[Kat]

Is it Gillian?

[Amy]

No, Jillian with a J. I feel

[Kat]

like Jillian is Julian. Julian. Okay. Julian's a girl, right?

[Amy]

Yeah. Julian. Julian. Okay. Yeah. So that was just from the dome.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

I. I only read the first part and a little bit the second part, and then I.

[Kat]

What didn't you.

[Amy]

Then I texted you and I said, I need a book, but.

[Kat]

What? You. It just wasn't interesting to you?

[Amy]

I just couldn't get into it.

[Kat]

Okay. It sounds like a crazy book.

[Amy]

It is interesting. I just. Maybe I wasn't in the right.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Headspace for it. I know. With every bone in my body. It's gotta be a good book because Kelsey recommended it. I'm telling you, the girl does not go wrong. So I just think I needed to set that one aside and devour the book you sent, which you were like, hey, you should read the Housemaid's books. Like, and I thought it was a typo. Like, oh. Because I thought there was just one book. Well, then I look it up and it is a three book in. Just kidding. I know. And it's called a series. A trilogy.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

And the movie that came out a few months ago, that's book number one. So I assume they're going to make movies on book two and three. Do you know?

[Kat]

I don't know. I'd hope so. That the movie was very good. And I also feel like it's very hard to make movies that are, like, almost identical to the book. They only change from what I remember one little thing, and it was because. Because the movie has to be shorter. It wouldn't have worked if they didn't change it.

[Amy]

Okay. I'm curious to watch the movie. I mean, I'm already done with the book because I ordered it. I've saved a lot of money thanks to Kelsey because she keeps giving me books to read, which is awesome. And then I have some credits with Audible. And so I just justify, like, okay, I'm gonna order the paperback for 9. 99. And then I'm also gonna order the audible for 9.99. And that helps with my. Especially with my dyslexia and my goal of reading this year. Like, it's just a really. The immersion reading is so great for me, whether I listen while I'm reading or I listen While I'm walking or doing laundry and housework, which. That's what happened me this weekend. I could not stop listening. And then I was bummed. I even ordered the book to read because I. The physical part of the book that I read was, like, I don't know, a few chapters, because I listened to the entire thing, and that's how I got through it so quick. But I didn't have a lot of downtime. Like, Stevenson had a track meet. I wish I'd have taken the book with me to the track meet, but I didn't. But that's okay because I had it on audible and I listened. But I could have gone into, like, the bleacher area and sat down and read because that's. I want to exercise my brain with the reading. And I know that listening. I still can use my imagination, and I'm still exercising my brain in a different way. But I. I really want my eyes on the page. So I'm trying to have a healthy balance, but with what's the. The house book number one.

[Kat]

So good.

[Amy]

So good.

[Kat]

It's so that though, it's good because it's an interesting story and it's like, keeps you on your toes and you just want to read the next chapter, but it's an easy read. And that's what I really liked about it is that, like, you can read it really. Like, you just fly through it, which is different.

[Amy]

And I had no idea. Well, even though the movie came out.

[Kat]

Oh, I was shocked too.

[Amy]

Yeah, I. I was just like. There were twists and turns where I was like, oh, yeah. Oh, okay. Oh. So I am very excited to see where the second book goes. House Made Secrets, I think. So I'm starting that, but now I get to watch the movie. So thank you. I'm thankful for your recommendation and I am thankful for Kelsey's recommendations. I just need to circle back on the names, which is the name of the book.

[Kat]

Yeah, the book.

[Amy]

The names at a later date.

[Kat]

I was gonna say the book you recommended to me is. Was not so much of an easy read.

[Amy]

Theo of Golden.

[Kat]

I'm not out on this book. I think I just needed a different. I took it to the beach and at the beach. I feel like you need, like, just an easy peasy where, like, a million things could be going on and you could just be, like, reading this book.

[Amy]

You needed an Emily Henry.

[Kat]

Yes.

[Amy]

That's a romance.

[Kat]

Literal beach read, rom com. But this book, I'm. I'm. I think I'm 100 pages in now. When I text you last time I was. Think I was three pages.

[Amy]

Yes. You're like, I'm at the beach. I've read three pages.

[Kat]

It takes a second to get into it, which is. There's other books that I like that of, like Winter Garden. It takes a second to get into that one too. And I love that book. So I didn't give up on it. It just. This is just word to the wise. Although I did see a more elderly woman on the beach reading Thea of Golden. So.

[Amy]

No. So what?

[Kat]

Other people are reading it on the beach.

[Amy]

A lot of people are reading it. It's a very popular.

[Kat]

And also when I posted that picture of it, I wasn't saying, like, it's an elderly book, but I don't know why I needed to just.

[Amy]

Well, the main character is elderly, so I think that's fine.

[Kat]

But it was kind of cute because she was sitting over there on her chair reading Theo of Golden, and I was, like, sitting there holding the book, pretending I was reading it too.

[Amy]

So you're like, oh, love this.

[Kat]

We're the same.

[Amy]

I love this Theo guy. Anyway, you pass her later. You're like, theo, am I right?

[Kat]

Also, it took me a second to understand. I don't know if it was supposed to be like this or I was just distracted. I didn't understand what golden was for like, a couple pages. I think that's what threw me off is I was like, what is golden? And why can't we just figure that out? But I didn't even. So I didn't know anything about what the book was about before I opened it. Anyway, I did also get. When I posted that picture of the book, so many people messaged me and said, this is one of my favorite books. So I just want you guys to know I'm keeping with it.

[Amy]

You're not gonna give up.

[Kat]

It just wasn't as easy peasy. And maybe I've become a lazy reader.

[Amy]

Yeah, it's. He has a sophistication about him.

[Kat]

Yeah, the writer does too. I texted you and I was like, maybe I'm not smart enough.

[Amy]

And that's the writer's debut novel.

[Kat]

No way.

[Amy]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

[Kat]

Lucky duck.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

He really struck gold with that.

[Amy]

Well, he's talent. Yeah. Talented.

[Kat]

Well, a lot of writers are talented, and they don't.

[Amy]

That's true. And they're doing.

[Kat]

That book is huge.

[Amy]

Catch fire like that one.

[Kat]

Unless you like. How do you. Especially in this age of everybody's writing a book and a lot of celebrities write Books now. And those books go straight to the New York Times bestsellers list. How do you become just a best selling author who comes from.

[Amy]

You get a literary agent, imagine. And then they work it and then you're with a publisher and they promote it. Yeah. And then some people just buy their own books and it hits the list. They're like, oh, well, that's what I've heard. I don't know that. I don't know for sure. I haven't heard that directly from somebody. But you hear of like, oh, this person. They maybe in one of my books, maybe in one of my Emily Henry books or where there's authors they talk about doing that.

[Kat]

Like that's like. I mean, I guess if you have the money, it's kind of smart, but that's kind of cheating the system.

[Amy]

Exactly.

[Kat]

Huh.

[Amy]

So why are you feeling scattered? Did you think of it?

[Kat]

No, I literally have no idea. Maybe because I just got.

[Amy]

Well, that tracks. I love that you're feeling matches right now.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Where you are right now, it's still. It's scattered. Scattered. Yeah.

[Kat]

Maybe because I just got home last night and I haven't like collected my bearings, you know, well before we started

[Amy]

recording because you just said collected my bearings, you said, do you know what saying I really can't stand?

[Kat]

Well, I almost said it. I just decided in this five minutes ago that I hated the stain because I almost said it and I was like, oh, don't say that.

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[Kat]

I just decided in this five minutes ago that I hated the stain because I said it and I was like, ooh, don't say that. Well, I was thirsty and I was like, I got to. I need to wet my w. My whistle. I need to wet my whistle is what I wanted to say.

[Amy]

I did not say that as I

[Kat]

said that in my brain. You know, sometimes I think before I speak. Most of the time I don't. And I was like, oh, don't say that. Doesn't. I don't like it. Wet my whistle. Yeah, that sounds like. Anyway, if that. If you Love that saying. Keep saying it. It's just not for me.

[Amy]

I don't know who says that? Like, maybe my grandma. Gotta wet my whistle. Because also, is it sounding dirty to me?

[Kat]

That's what it was sounding to me.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Maybe it's because there's that song that's like. Isn't there a song that's like, whistle baby, whistle baby. Let me, like, like a. I don't know,

[Amy]

whistle.

[Kat]

But isn't that what that is about?

[Amy]

I don't know what that. I don't know what that is. Have you watched Beef on Netflix the first season?

[Kat]

I haven't watched.

[Amy]

Okay, well, season two is out, and they show the whistle.

[Kat]

Well, a lot of. Wait, they show frontal. They do that. They did that in Righteous Gemstones a lot in the last season.

[Amy]

Yeah, I just am like, when did we start showing.

[Kat]

Wait.

[Amy]

Men's whistles?

[Kat]

What. What. What channel. What channel is that on?

[Amy]

Netflix.

[Kat]

That's nuts, right?

[Amy]

Because kids could just easily see the whistle. See the whistle. Like, it's no problem. You used to have to pay for, like, skidimax.

[Kat]

Skin of Max.

[Amy]

Well, it was Cinemax, but we called it skinnimax because of. Because you could see skin.

[Kat]

I thought that was more like an HBO thing.

[Amy]

No, it's on Netflix. Yeah, because Game of Thrones, Bobby said they show. What was that stuff there?

[Kat]

The new game? If not, it's like the prequel to Game of Thrones or something. Patrick was watching that and, like, the first episodes or something. It's a big old whistle.

[Amy]

I love how now we've nicknamed it a whistle. I've never heard anybody call it a whistle, but hopefully people are tracking with what we're talking about.

[Kat]

I think it makes sense.

[Amy]

Yeah. Like whistle.

[Kat]

Cryo Cat's like, I'm gonna start using that every day.

[Amy]

I've got my aura ring here. And I don't know why a whistle made me just think of the story, but maybe it's cause I don't know that I'll ever be with a whistle again because. Because all I care about now is my sleep.

[Kat]

Oh, my gosh.

[Amy]

I don't want to go out because I have to get a crown on my sleep score. Because you can get your readiness score, your sleep score, and your you want to win movement score. And sometimes I get optimal. Like last night, I got optimal.

[Kat]

Can you not have optimal sleep?

[Amy]

No, no. Lately I've been getting good, but I. I don't want to get bad.

[Kat]

Well, what if you are with a partner that you feel very safe and connected with? And you get really good sleep because

[Amy]

you're all, well, that would be regulated. But that would mean I wouldn't be and I wouldn't be. My ring says, time to get ready for bed. And I'm like, oh, time to get ready for bed. And I go and I wash my face and I get ready for bed because I have to prepare my body for sleep so I can get good sleep. So anyway, I'm just saying I'm not going to. My ring is going to keep me single because now I care about sleep a lot.

[Kat]

How do we hide your ring?

[Amy]

No, no, I want good sleep. I mean, maybe I could meet somebody during the daytime.

[Kat]

Yeah, I think this will be. This will become a problem when you're wanting to, like, you know, stay up a little later and like hang. You know, when you have like the new relationship feeling and like you do, you do this and you forego like all of your routine because it's exciting.

[Amy]

Like, oh, yeah.

[Kat]

That's when you're gonna have to make a decision. But I think right now you have plenty of time outside of your getting ready for bedtime in your sleep. Time to meet somebody, I think.

[Amy]

Okay, well, we'll see. Tbd. I just had this thought about how it just feels so good and sleep is so important, but so is having fun. But I'm like, I can have fun during the day.

[Kat]

Do you believe that?

[Amy]

I don't know. I'm really enjoying the sleep.

[Kat]

Are there other parts of that ring that you are liking?

[Amy]

I'm tracking my cycle, which is great.

[Kat]

How do you.

[Amy]

I enter it in, I log it in. So it's just more of in the app and my ring will get to know me, but I need to have it for longer to where it'll feel my temperature and know my cycle's coming. But here's the thing. You know, I've. I've got my testosterone pellet in. I got my iron iv. I'm on my vitamin D and my ovaries. So, you know, each cycle it goes right ovary, then left and then right and then left. Like when you're having your period, it's this side and then the next month is the other side.

[Kat]

At one point I knew that and you just reminded me. I forgot that.

[Amy]

Okay, now I'm second guessing myself. No, in my mind, that's how my body works.

[Kat]

I think that sounds right.

[Amy]

Like 99. Sure. So my. I don't know which one it is, but my right one I just had not that long ago. And then a week goes by. And my left one goes into action. But then between my left one action back to my right one will give me like more of a normal 28 day cycle. But when I go, I'm on the one where. And, and, and I never noticed it fully that it was just a week apart. But because I entered because of my ring, now I'm tracking things. And I entered it in and I was looking at the calendar, I'm like, I'll be dang. That is one week in between from the stop to the start.

[Kat]

Does the ring say like, oh, something's up?

[Amy]

No, because I have to enter. No, it just takes your information. It just knows. But now I know. And when I go, I have a follow up appointment at my gynecologist on May 7 for blood work to see where I am with all my levels. She's gonna be proud of me for tracking because I. I always feel like I'm gonna remember. I'm like, I don't need to track. That's annoying. And then I'm like, shoot, was that a Tuesday or was it a Wednesday? And was that even last week? And when was it? Has it been two weeks? And now I know I have the proof thanks to the app. I'm entering it and we'll see. And now Shannon's updating us on the ovaries. And she said, well, it's not necessarily the case. While it's common belief that ovaries alternate every other month, the process is not a strict perfect rotation. One ovary can release an egg for several months in a row, or the right ovary may ovulate more frequently than the left. The dominant ovary. Many people have one that is dominant.

[Kat]

Okay, well, I wonder how they choose my.

[Amy]

When it's doing one week in between. I think the other one is kicking in because I don't think the other one.

[Kat]

The other one's like, wait, my turn.

[Amy]

Yeah, the other one would be like, the other one might be saying that the other one, dude, I just did it like a week ago. You're good. And then it's like, no, I'm ready. And it goes.

[Kat]

That's just annoying. I'm sorry.

[Amy]

It's okay. To all of our men listening. I am sorry. I didn't even mean to talk about that. Well, you asked what I like more about my ring or if I like other things about my ring, and it's really what I can enter into the app and the information I'm learning about myself.

[Kat]

Yeah, I have something for the men. Okay, what this is for the woman and the men. I just think everybody can benefit from this. I just have to throw this recommendation out because I have found a new game that I'm obsessed with. And you can play it with two people.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

And it's a golf game, but it's not really about golf. So if your partner or your friend or whoever loves golf and you love playing games, you can trick them into saying, hey, I have this golf game. And then they'll play it with you.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

It's called Play 9 is a card game. I actually think this is a game you could play with normal cards.

[Amy]

So I was picturing we were on a golf course, but no, no.

[Kat]

So sorry, sorry. This is a card game, okay? And you can play with two people and you can play it anywhere. Like, we brought it to the beach. We didn't play on the beach because of the wind, but like, the airport and the house when it was raining and all that. It's so fun. I don't think it. I need to explain the rules of the game because that's boring. But look it up. Especially if you want a game that you can play with just two people or you can play with six people. Okay.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

I have a little bit of sports information.

[Amy]

So the game is called Play Night.

[Kat]

So it's like nine holes.

[Amy]

Okay. So that's what. That's the golf part.

[Kat]

Yes. And the cards have, like, golf pictures on them, but it's not. It has nothing to do with golf.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

You don't have to know anything about golf. Also, I have some sports knowledge. Do you watch any. You don't watch any golf? Did you watch Full Swing?

[Amy]

Yeah, I did.

[Kat]

Okay. Do you remember Matt Fitzpatrick?

[Amy]

Yes.

[Kat]

Okay. Do you know that he has a brother that was on the European Golf tour? So he's not on the PGA Tour, the main tour.

[Amy]

Okay. I don't know.

[Kat]

Because his brother was on full swing, too. So they just played in a tournament. I think this is so.

[Ad Read Host 2]

This tear.

[Kat]

I teared up when I saw this. They just played it in tournament. Matt Fitzpatrick is a professional golfer. His brother's like. I guess you would count him as, like, semi pro. You can. There's this tournament once a year that a professional golfer can pick anybody. They could pick you to play in this tournament with them. If you win the tournament, you now get to be on the PGA Tour.

[Amy]

Oh, wow.

[Kat]

They won. Oh, that's.

[Amy]

They won.

[Kat]

So Matt Fitzpatrick got his. I mean, his brother obviously had to play well, too, but, like, by inviting him to play with him, he got his brother on the PGA Tour for two years.

[Amy]

That's awesome.

[Kat]

I thought, that's sweet. We were playing Play nine while we were watching that happen. Oh, yeah. So little wreck and little info for all of our male listeners.

[Amy]

Yes.

[Kat]

Ovary talk, some golf talk. Balance it out.

[Amy]

I do have a question for you as a therapist, but also as my friend. Okay, okay. Because this is something that happened. No, it's not a trick. But I. I'm sure you're gonna be like, there's no truth to this at all whatsoever, but it's sort of ridiculous. Like, we were doing a Instagram live on the Bobby Bone show the other day, and Shannon happened to be watching. Like, it pops up on Instagram. So she clicked on, and she was watching and I was telling a story and I was using my hands while I was talking, and she saw comments that came through, so she grabbed them. Okay, Sue. Sue says who? I don't know. I. I don't. I don't have to read the handles, but that's the handle wrote. What's with Amy's constant hand movements? I've heard it's a sign of eating disorders. And then krr729 replied, what? A lot of people talk with their hands. And then Suzu, who or whatever said, not anyone I know what. I was like, why would someone just say that? Does talking with your hands have anything to do with eating disorders? Being that you're a therapist that specializes in disordered eating and eating disorders, I

[Kat]

can say very confidently, I have Never, in my 15 years of working in this field.

[Amy]

I would also like to say you are explaining this while talking with my hands.

[Kat]

Have I heard there. There to be a correlation between hand talking and eating disorders? You know what? There could be a correlation because a lot of people talk with their hands, but there's no call. Like, there's no cause and effect. They're not actually connected.

[Amy]

No cause.

[Kat]

But you could. You could have. You could have an eating disorder and also talk with your hands, but you can talk with your hands and not have an eating disorder.

[Amy]

I'm glad we cleared that up.

[Kat]

But. But besides that. So that is like, almost like so absurd. It's like one of those things that's like, who cares? But at the same time, why would you say that exactly?

[Amy]

I don't know. That's why Shannon thought it was funny and she pulled the comment and I was like, oh, haha. I'm gonna ask Kat because she's a therapist that specializes in this. And I thought you might know, like, because what if you're like, oh, interesting. So crazy. You're saying that there was a study out of Harvard that said, well, maybe I'm missing something. I don't think so, Kat.

[Kat]

Like, I just think something like.

[Amy]

And when you're like, why would they type that? I saw this one girl do a reel. It was in my. For you. So I don't know who she is. I would love to give her credit. I don't know. It was just. I was scrolling, but she was like, hey, okay, let's talk about this. Like, she's looking in the camera, talking to people. She's like, I'm talking to you. If you are gonna type something, make sure you would say it to someone's face. If you're not able to say it to their face, no typey. Like, no type. No say to face. If you can say to face, then you can type. But. But most of the time you're not going to say to someone's face all the horrible things that people type. Like when people, I guess someone maybe had called out her crow's feet or something, she's like, so if you wouldn't walk up to some random person at the grocery store and be like, oh, your crow's feet. Then, like, why type that to the. A random woman on the Internet?

[Kat]

Right? Exactly. Beautiful video and beautiful message. Message. And I was gonna say beautiful recreation of said video by you.

[Amy]

She could give her credit. It was like, at Joy. Something. Shoot.

[Kat]

I don't know if you've seen it, let us know.

[Amy]

I don't follow this person. But.

[Kat]

But what is interesting about this is I'm assuming this person really has not heard this.

[Amy]

Maybe they're just saying because I've had an eating disorder and I use my hands a lot. They're just being mean.

[Kat]

I. That's where I'm getting. Okay, because then why wouldn't you say, like, I give more information or something if you're going to put that on there Also, besides all of that, what's the point? That's with, like, a lot of these comments, like, you're saying, like, the crow speed. My question to a lot of that stuff is, like, what is the point of that? Like, if somebody was concerned about you, I'm feeling them protective of you. I'm sorry, this is not therapist cat. This is friend cat. If somebody.

[Amy]

Which is good, because up next, I have signs of a safe friendship.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

I'm feeling safe right now.

[Kat]

Okay, good. If I was concerned whether I knew you or not, I probably would not leave a comment on A public forum like that, I would either met. If I didn't know you and I was really concerned and feel like I needed to say something, I would message you a DM you and if I, as your friend was concerned, I would talk to you in person. But if I was really concerned about, oh, no, like, has she relapsed or something, I wouldn't put it there when that's just going to cause negative attention.

[Amy]

Yeah, well, maybe they wanted the attention. Like the rage bait thing people do. Yeah. So that's probably. And we just gave it to him. I'm glad I didn't really enunciate what the actual handle was. I just said, oh, we did give the rage bait. But I didn't say. I didn't originally saying it. Right. Their handle isn't even.

[Kat]

The other thing is with the, like, when people are just making comments about people's appearance, like the crow's feet, it. That's also I. We all have thoughts. And this is where I can, like, really, I can not empathize, but understand somebody having a thought about what somebody looks like. Right. That's what we do as humans. We look at people and we automatically make judgments. Most of those thoughts stay in my head because why would I say. It's almost like that acronym that Sissy Goff taught us. Wait, why am I talking, like, why am I saying this? What would this do? What would this bring? What's the point? So it's not bad to have a thought. You can't help your thoughts.

[Amy]

Waste.

[Kat]

Wait, what is that?

[Amy]

Why am I saying this?

[Kat]

Yes. Okay. Waste. We need to start using that because it's not bad to have a thought. We can't help our thoughts, but we are responsible with what we do with those thoughts. And we need to. You know, what's it called when you're like, policing? We need to police our own thoughts. And I think sometimes we just don't care. Some people don't care. And maybe they. Maybe they're. Why am I saying this? Is that I want to hurt somebody or if it makes me feel good to say something mean about you or whatever. But I don't think I'm better than anybody in the sense that, like, I have negative thoughts about people, too. I just choose wisely what to do with them. And I'm sure people like, yeah, people probably have negative thoughts about me all the time. You can have them all you want. I just don't need to know them.

[Amy]

Yeah, well, thank you for that.

[Kat]

You just got me all feeling hot.

[Amy]

Got you in your feelings.

[Kat]

Yeah.

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[Amy]

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[Kat]

So that means. That doesn't necessarily mean you have an eating disorder, but it might mean that you're honest.

[Amy]

I mean, maybe, I don't know, we

[Kat]

need to study is either.

[Amy]

I mean, I'm sure at that when I was sharing that I had a study that I was talking about. But some people talk with their hands, some people don't. Some people use filler words, some people don't. I want to be someone that maybe uses their hands a little less because I think it's a comfort thing for me and I want to use less filler words.

[Kat]

That's interesting. The filler words I understand and same I feel like when people talk with their hands, it adds and it makes them appear more confident a lot of times.

[Amy]

Okay. Like sometimes I feel like mine are flailing about.

[Kat]

Well, show me what you do.

[Amy]

Well, I mean, if I'm like, I think if you do things like give enough, like it's good to have a visual. Like if I'm going to say I'm going to share with you 10 signs that you are in a safe friendship. Right. Like seeing the 10 is good at least I think research shows that. 4. Yeah, I'm gonna give you 4. Like, we like seeing that visual with what we're talking about, but sometimes I'm just like, all about like hitting things. One time I was talking with my hands so much I ripped my earring out and it ripped all the way through. And that's when I had to have my ear sewn back together.

[Kat]

Did you rip that off?

[Amy]

Yeah, because my. No. I was at my son's birthday party and I was talking to somebody and I was talking with my hands and my finger got caught in the earring and my earring hole was already hanging on by a thread obviously, but it ripped all the Way through. And my earring landed on the sidewalk, but it was still intact. And I'm like, well, how did that happen? And then I put my hand in my ear and it was bleeding, and I was like, my ear ripped. And then I had to have a plastic surgeon, like, sew it back together and just. Yeah, that's because I was talking with my hands too much, so, you know, flailing about. But I do want to get to the.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

Signs. Your friendship feels like home. I saw [e-mail] and feels like home is aka safe.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

Okay. The signs. Are you ready?

[Kat]

I'm ready.

[Amy]

You can be fully yourself without editing who you are. It's a sign you're in.

[Kat]

That makes sense.

[Amy]

A friendship that feels like home. I feel. Let's do it for each other.

[Kat]

I don't know.

[Amy]

It's okay.

[Kat]

We don't. What if we.

[Amy]

I don't. I don't feel like I have to edit.

[Kat]

Okay. Well, I don't feel that either, but.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

I feel like this is a dangerous game to play live.

[Amy]

This is.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

We're getting vulnerable.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

You don't overthink, text, or replay conversations afterwards. I do that sometimes.

[Kat]

I was gonna say you do that a lot, but that's just you as a person, right?

[Amy]

Okay. Yeah, but you don't. You don't do that. You don't do that to me. You know, you don't replay our conversations. I'm just kidding.

[Kat]

You know what? I do, because last week, I feel like there was something. I don't remember what was, but I do remember last week being like, was I rude? But I didn't say anything to you. You'll actually, like, text me and be like, sorry I was this way. And I'd be like, what are you talking about?

[Amy]

Okay. Silence feels comfortable, not awkward.

[Kat]

I can be silent around you.

[Amy]

Yeah, same. You feel supported even when you're not at your best.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Yeah. Check. They celebrate you without making it about them.

[Kat]

Yeah, check. Well, you're really good at that because you. I think that you are. Do you mind me sharing this?

[Amy]

Well, I don't know what you're gonna say.

[Kat]

Well, I. I feel like you are hyper vigilant to that. Because even to earlier today when we were talking on the phone and I, like, randomly said this. I told you I was coming home from the doctor, and I learned this thing about my placenta, and it was just kind of flippant. And then you said something about yourself, and then you said, oh, but I don't. You, like, came back and Made sure you were like. I want you to know that I want to hear more about that if you want to talk about it. Yeah, you're. You do that a lot.

[Amy]

Well, because I didn't want to discount, like, you were acting like, yeah, it's fine. It's not that big deal. But then I didn't see how you're really feeling about it, because it could be. It's not as. It's not something bad like your. Your bot. You're not.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

It's not going to harm you or you. You were the baby. Yeah, but it's still.

[Kat]

It's a. It could be disappointing for people.

[Amy]

Yes.

[Kat]

I'll share what it is so people don't think we're talking code. I went. Had a doctor's appointment today, and they think this isn't confirmed, so I can't say for sure, but the way that they were hearing the heartbeat sounded like I have an anterior placenta, which just means my placenta is in the front, which is. She said only 30% of what? Nothing.

[Amy]

I was just thinking of.

[Kat]

Are you making this about you? Wait, what?

[Amy]

No.

[Kat]

I'm sharing a really vulnerable part. Okay.

[Amy]

I'm kidding.

[Kat]

Laughing.

[Amy]

We already. Okay, sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. When I tell you medical information, I'm adding levity.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

Not to make it about me, but I was thinking about your placenta and eating it. No, keep going. I don't even know if, like, I could say what I was thinking.

[Kat]

Was it dirty? Dirty is about a whistle. Yep. Well, are you thinking that the whistle is going to hit the placenta? Yes. I don't think that's a thing.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

I don't think that's a thing. That would have to go. Really. Okay. Okay, okay, okay.

[Amy]

We don't have to get too.

[Kat]

Without crazy whistle.

[Amy]

Oh, okay. Which Patrick obviously has.

[Kat]

Shannon just said shut up. Shannon said she's not looking this fact up.

[Amy]

That's like, have you seen those. Like, have you seen those videos where there's, like, a scratch on, like, the wife's back or the husband's back? It's like a scratch, and it's like, you know, 6 inches long or whatever. And the, like, the wife will be like, oh, my gosh, this scratch is huge. And then the husbands are like, yeah, six inches is huge.

[Kat]

That's not on my for you page.

[Amy]

They're funny. They're so funny because, like, as a scratch, you're like, oh, my gosh, this scratch is so big. And then the guys are, like, so big.

[Kat]

Heck, yeah. Okay, well, I don't think that's a. I haven't had that issue. And I have not been afraid of that until now.

[Amy]

Okay, we'll finish the thing. I interrupted with my dirty thought.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Or inappropriate thought. It wasn't dirty.

[Kat]

At least you. That wasn't you making about you. It was just you being a little bit.

[Amy]

I was curious.

[Kat]

They didn't tell me that. I don't think that's a thing. But I could also be wrong because I. I'm new at this interior placenta thing and it might not even. I'm not confirmed. They just think that based on how

[Amy]

it sounded, a possibility.

[Kat]

But all it means really is, and I think I was saying it's. Only 30% of people have this. All it means is it's going to take longer for me to feel the baby, which actually made me feel better because I haven't felt her that I know of. I guess some things could be her, but I just don't realize it. And because of the way the placenta is, you don't feel it as. It takes longer for you to feel the baby's movement.

[Amy]

Gotcha.

[Kat]

So instead of like 16 to 20 weeks, it's more probably like 20 to 24 weeks.

[Amy]

Right. And that's why I wanted to circle back to see how you feeling. Like. Oh. Because a lot of people look forward to feeling their baby.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Kick. So. Okay. Anyway, back to the. It feels like home, this friendship. They celebrate you without making out them. You don't feel like you're, quote, too much or, quote, not enough.

[Kat]

I don't experience that.

[Amy]

I don't either.

[Kat]

You didn't answer.

[Amy]

Oh, okay. Sorry. They speak about you with respect, even when you're not there.

[Kat]

Well, I don't know, but I hope so.

[Amy]

Yeah, I do.

[Kat]

Look me in the eyes.

[Amy]

I do. You feel calm after seeing them, not drained.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

Yeah. You don't have to earn your place. It's already yours.

[Kat]

Yeah, but you kind of have to earn it in the beginning.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

But then we got it.

[Amy]

Yeah. Okay. So those are signs. Your friendship feels like home. I don't know that you have to have. If you don't have every single one of those, it's not like, oh, gotta

[Kat]

get rid of my friendship, toxic friendship at all because. Yeah.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

I think this is just a list

[Amy]

of, like, healthy qualities to having a friendship. Yes. Yes. We're speaking of friendships. I saw another article. This one is. I can give you the. It's from Oxford University.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

Researchers, on average, say that most women have a Core group of around five friends. However, when a woman gets into a new relationship with a partner, they typically lose two of those friends. You don't know why, because they have less time. Someone gets jealous. You simply drift away from your former single life, which I feel like all of those make sense, but I'm like, dang, two drop off.

[Kat]

That makes sense to me. I think. I think it depends on, like, the grouping of your friends, because I've experienced that. I actually asked Patrick last night. We were eating dinner, and I said, what are. I was asking a bunch of different random questions, but one of the ones I asked was, what is one friend that you've lost touch with that you wish that you could reconnect with? And we both were talking, both people that we said the reason that we lost as close of a connection, we would still consider them friends is because our life stage is different. So whether they had kids or whether it was because we got married or something, like, things just tend to change depending on how those friendships are structured before, you know. But it's not necessarily bad. I don't think that's always bad. Like, my friends who have had kids and their life has shifted and we're not as close. I'm not over there being like, they've ditched me. It just. I'm like, well, their life is different. We can't be the same. We can't do the same things that we used to do.

[Amy]

Yeah. It's evolved into it.

[Kat]

Just that there's some grief in that. But also, I don't. There's not, like, resentment.

[Amy]

Right.

[Kat]

That I feel in my relationships. Five friends was shocking, though.

[Amy]

Five friends. Like, you have five having five friends.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

How many do you have?

[Kat]

I thought it was. I thought the number. I think I would want to know, like, what kind of friends? Because I have more than five friends, but I don't know that I have.

[Amy]

How many bridesmaids did you have?

[Kat]

Nine, but three of them were my family.

[Amy]

Okay, so that's about six. Six. So you're right. That's about six.

[Kat]

That is six. It is nine minus three.

[Amy]

That's actually six. Okay, so. So that. And that's close to five. Six is right after five. Yeah, just about.

[Kat]

But. But some of those friends, like, well,

[Amy]

I was one of them, so then. Then there's five.

[Kat]

Why aren't you one of the. Wait.

[Amy]

Well, I don't feel those. The other friends. Like, I don't feel like I'm part of that group. Like, I was.

[Kat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Amy]

So that makes sense.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Like, I am in.

[Kat]

But one was a college friend which, like, I don't talk to her. We'll like, text more than we talk on the phone. She lives in a different. She lives far away and she has three kids. She brought her like three month old baby to the wedding. You remember. She was a good friend for doing that. So I would still consider her one of my best friends. But we don't talk that often.

[Amy]

Right. But yeah, like, I talked to my best friend from high school on Saturday for like 30 minutes. We did a catch up, like, while I was waiting around at the track meet. And I don't talk to her like I'm gonna see her this weekend in Austin because she lives in Austin and she. Every year she comes to our I Heart country festival. So I see her there and we'll text and we talk, but it doesn't matter. Like, she's.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Been my best friend since high school. Will always be there for each other. And we could go months, honestly.

[Kat]

So I would wonder if this study is more like, do you lose the friends or do the friendship. Friendships change.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Listener McKenna]

I don't know.

[Amy]

We'll have to look it up.

[Kat]

Because I wouldn't consider that friendship lost. And you're like, your friendship isn't.

[Amy]

Yeah, no, she's still. That didn't like, that was me moving. Like, it was other. It wasn't because I got into a relationship.

[Kat]

Do you feel like you lost friends when you were dating out Alex?

[Amy]

I feel like I saw my friends less.

[Kat]

Yes. But you didn't lose them.

[Amy]

No, I didn't lose them. But I mean, I maybe could have. They probably. I. I think that distance was created just because we naturally did more of his life.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Because I have my kids 50 of the time, he has his kids 100 of the time. And they're very active. So we naturally. Every weekend it was like his stuff. Because the kids always had things going on and if they didn't, we need to be close by where they were. So we just ended up in his neck of the woods more. And I put some of that on me. Like, I should have been like, hey, let's go do this with some of my friends. But I just was. I don't know, I just was defaulting. It became a default to like, okay, well, you know.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

I was also low testosterone, no iron. Like, I didn't have the energy.

[Kat]

I would wonder, like, because y' all dated for around a year and a half, so I wonder the. If that relationship would have lasted longer, if things would have Evened out, even with your friends. Because in the beginning, I would have

[Amy]

had to have made sure we made a concerted effort to do that.

[Kat]

But he, he naturally would have hap. I think what I'm trying to say is in the beginning of relationships, in the beginning of relationship can still be a year and a half in. That's still like new. Ish. You're more ex. Like, this is gonna sound bad, but like, you're more excited and you're more apt to like, want to like forego things to go spend time with this new person in your life.

[Amy]

Right.

[Kat]

Naturally that starts to drop off. And then I think, not that you'd be like, okay, I'll hang out with my friends again now, but like, naturally, I think you would start feeling that again.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

You know, so I don't want you to feel. You can feel however you want. But I don't think in the beginning relationships, I have a lot of grace for people in the beginning of relationships because, like, that you just. That's what happens. Like, you want to spend all your time with this person.

[Amy]

Yeah. And so you get it. Like, you get it. I know. I think just some of my relationships, I would spend a lot of time with people. Like even cryo Cat or Claire, like, we would walk a lot more and then. But I would also. Then I'd start walking with him. So then he became my walking buddy.

[Kat]

You. Oh.

[Amy]

So then if I don't have a, you know, it just was. I don't know. I realized it. But anyway, like, I'm done with this. Okay. We do have a voicemail that has to do with you Cat that I would love for people to hear because it's an interesting perspective.

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[Amy]

A complicated wellness routine is something that I just do not have the time for. That's where Suja Organic comes in and saves me every single time. I love their cold pressed juices and wellness shots. I genuinely feel like I did something nutritious for my body without making it a whole production. My go to juices are Ginger Love and Uber Greens. I also love the Turmeric Pineapple immunity shot. It is small but mighty. Sooja's powerful cold pressed fruit and vegetable juices and daily wellness shots prove you don't need a wellness retreat to feel like you took one. Just sip and let the superfoods do their thing. No gimmicks, no fads, just organic cold press wellness that works. Because real wellness doesn't come in trends. It comes cold pressed, blended with benefits and ready when you are. Just keep them in your fridge and grab on the go, sip it, enjoy it and let Suja do the heavy lifting. Health insurance should make getting care easier, but sometimes it can feel like the opposite. That's why UnitedHealthcare is committed to putting care at the heart of health insurance with empathy, transparency and real human connection. I mean, doesn't care feel different when it's personal? When you can tell that the person on the other end of the phone, the screen and the Service genuinely cares? UnitedHealthcare is working to make that happen every day. They're also helping people make healthcare decisions with confidence, giving them the information they need to better understand their benefits, costs and claims. Because UnitedHealthcare knows when you understand that stuff, you can better get the care you and your family need. You know, care can show up in a lot of ways and everyone at UnitedHealthcare is committed to bringing it every day. Learn more about how UnitedHealthcare is committed to [e-mail] Care allergy season always has a way of sneaking up on you. One minute you're listening to your favorite podcast and the next it's non stop sneezing and a runny nose. That's why it's essential to keep Kleenex Ultra Soft tissues on hand. They're silky soft for up to 100% Irritation Free skin and allergist approved so when allergies hit and they will be ready with Kleenex Ultra Soft Tissues for whatever happens next. Grab Kleenex. Okay, we do have a voicemail that has to do with you Kat that I would love for people to hear because it's an interesting perspective you had, shared how your true honest feelings about your pregnancy, the first trimester body, body image. Yeah, body image stuff. And so we Got a voicemail. That's a different experience that you had, but a very important message I get. Well, I don't know that it's different. She was still feeling, but it's like she. Her body wasn't changing that much.

[Kat]

It was a perspective, I think.

[Amy]

A different perspective. That's the word. So we'll go ahead and play that. This is from McKenna.

[Listener McKenna]

Hi. So my name is McKenna. I was just listening to the episode about pregnancy and bodies, like the segment on that. And I had a really interesting experience in the other direction where I'm not like, a small person by any means. And during pregnancy I had hg, which makes you throw up and you're really nauseous all the time. And so throughout the entire. I was pregnant for 41 weeks and three days. I was severely sick, vomiting, nausea, pretty much couldn't eat a full meal. And I was given compliments galore for not gaining weight. And I couldn't express people, like, what I would give to just be able to eat a full meal. It just made me really reckon with, like, how we are talking about pregnant bodies and we shouldn't be talking about in the middle, but other people comment on it. And people would tell me it looked so good and it was almost jarring to know that I was so sick and I was so, you know, concerned that I couldn't eat and give my baby the proper fuel. And I was just reinforced over and over. So I just wanted to, like, offer some encouragement that just because someone, like, looks a specific way in their pregnant body does not mean that they are, like, doing any better or worse than what you're going through. And we just need to be able to let our bodies do what they need to do.

[Amy]

Do that.

[Listener McKenna]

Season of Life. Thank you. Sorry, just wanted to ramble a bit.

[Amy]

I ramble too, but I didn't think she was rambling.

[Kat]

No, I didn't either. I think that is a perfect. Thank you for sharing that and a perfect example of why we should not comment on people's bodies. Like, just. Again, so.

[Amy]

Okay, but this is circling back to something we were saying sort of at the beginning is like, people were obviously saying to the. This to her in person. Oh, so these were comments that were being said to her, not because people

[Kat]

are thinking those are positive comments.

[Amy]

Yes.

[Kat]

So I think that's the difference. But I think, yes, if I'm having a thought maybe about somebody and they're pregnant, about their body, have it. You can't help that you're having the thought. It's natural you don't have to share that with them because in her case, like, you don't know how. What she was going through and that. I mean, that sounds horrible to be sick for that long. And the anxiety that I might have about what she was saying, like, being able to give my baby nutrients, like, that's not. It's a different side. It's a different experience than I'm having, but it's not like a. I wouldn't say it's a better one.

[Amy]

Right.

[Kat]

And so let's really be mindful of what thoughts we let come out, out of our mouths. And thank you for sharing that.

[Amy]

And I'm sorry, like we were saying earlier, the checking yourself, policing yourself.

[Kat]

Wait, why am I saying this?

[Amy]

Why am I saying this? But, like, what. How can, like, should we give people, like, count to five?

[Kat]

What's that trick Brene Brown would do before. She would. She would do this before answering a question, an important question. She would twist her ring three times around her finger.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Let's implement that. When we want to make a comment about what somebody looks like, and hopefully most of the time, we will not make that comment.

[Amy]

Is this a helpful comment? Is this a helpful comment? But in her case, like, some people, like you said, they probably thought they were saying something helpful, but because I don't know this person's exact scenario, I should keep this comment to myself. Keep this comment to myself.

[Kat]

Well, I think that also sends the message, which, like, this is. I'm processing this now in real time. But, like, it sends the message that, like, we as women should. Our bodies shouldn't change as we're going through pregnancy.

[Amy]

Right.

[Kat]

And that. That if our bodies don't change as we're going through pregnancy, that most of the time that could mean something's wrong. And so why do we feel. I think there's. Obviously, I could talk about why we feel this way, but there's a lot of messaging, even in pregnancy that says, like, smaller is better. I was more talking about, like, I, my body's changing, but, like, I don't look pregnant yet. Like, I've accepted that my body will change. I want to look pregnant because I, like, feel like that's exciting. But still, it's like, yeah, we are sent the message that our bodies should look a certain way through pregnancy, but that. That is not really what they're supposed to look like. You know, does that make sense? And everybody's. Every single body is different. So people could have healthy pregnancies and not gain the same amount of weight as Somebody else.

[Amy]

Right.

[Kat]

It's all very relative.

[Amy]

So let's just twist the ring. And waste.

[Kat]

And waste. But okay, I have to say this about waste. I had this thought, if you say like why am I saying this? You might say, because it's going to make her feel better.

[Amy]

I know. So that's why I threw in the, like you don't know someone's full scenario or situation. So is this a helpful comment? Probably not.

[Kat]

Yeah, we need an ackerman for that.

[Amy]

And even if, if, if you think it might be and you are 99% sure, just go ahead and lean on that 1% that it, it's not. That's why even with people like your co workers, if they've lost weight for some reason and you think, oh wow, they probably would like to hear, hey man, you working out? Hey. Or hey girl, you, you working out? Like you're, you're. Yeah, you, you look so good. You have no idea. Is there depression? Do they have cancer? Are they. Because it's work. Like they might not be sharing with co workers what they have going on. Are they stressed? Yes. Are they, do they have something going on at home? Like is there something else going on with their body which they, where they haven't disclosed what's happening and they're hope, they're hoping going to work like fingers crossed every day that nobody's going to notice their situation. And then you know, you say something or if it is eating disorder related, that's where it can be dangerous because then it adds to the celebration that sometimes gives fuel. It's adding fuel to the fire.

[Kat]

And think about like if somebody now she couldn't help her scenario, right? But if you are. Because people who have eating disorders get pregnant. So if you also are sharing that with somebody, if, if take her scenario but you have an eating disorder versus she's sick. If I'm sharing that, I'm like, good job, girl. You haven't gained any baby weight. You look so good. You're all belly. Like all those kind of comments that also could be telling her eating disorder, you're doing a really good job. Keep it up. So let's just twist the ring.

[Amy]

Twistering.

[Kat]

This should be the, instead of asking all those questions, it should just be like, I'm gonna twist the ring until I find something else to say. Like, don't even say it. Twist the ring until you find something that has nothing to do with what they look like.

[Amy]

And if you can't find anything else to put in, don't, like, don't Say be like, I like your shoes,

[Kat]

even if you hate them.

[Amy]

Those shoes are so pretty. I'm not wearing any shoes.

[Kat]

Oh, crazy.

[Amy]

I owe your toes. These all things. Okay, well, hopefully that voicemail. I know, Kat, you're. You sharing your experience was so helpful. I know that voicemail will be helpful to other people. And yeah, maybe just the big takeaway is let's just all pause before we speak. Think, do anything. If anybody has read the names, hit me up. I'm gonna give it a go eventually. But, like, if you've read it and you're like, power through it gets so much better. I could just use that little nudge

[Kat]

of encouragement because if I didn't have all the encouragement about Theo of Golden, I would have already put it down.

[Listener McKenna]

Wow.

[Kat]

So you need some encouragement.

[Amy]

Yeah, I need some encouragement. Besides, I already know Kelsey's queen of reading, so I know it's going to be good. And it. I think it was like one of the Jenna Bush's. Jenna's picks for the Today show. She does. Or she has, like, a reading thing because it says it on the book. Jenna's pick.

[Kat]

We didn't circle back to this. That is one of the most stressful things I'm dealing with right now.

[Amy]

What?

[Kat]

The name.

[Amy]

Oh. What? To name your child.

[Kat]

We've chosen a name, but, like, we haven't chosen a full name, but that confirms my feelings. Is that, like, this name can change the trajectory of their life.

[Amy]

Are you and Patrick going to be in agreement on the name?

[Kat]

Yes.

[Amy]

Okay. That's fine. The. The. The part of this book, and this is early on, so I don't feel like I'm spoiling anything, is the. The husband does not agree with her name choice, so it impacts their relationship. Oh. So it. It impacts how he treats her and the kid.

[Kat]

A child. Okay.

[Amy]

And then.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

I'm thinking, like, their personality develops differently based on what their name is.

[Amy]

Well, I mean, maybe a little bit. I haven't gotten to other chapters or other parts or other bolts.

[Kat]

Other bolts.

[Amy]

I haven't gotten to that bulk of the book yet. But if you've read the names, let me know because I will take the encouragement. And also, if you were like, I'm like you, I only could read a little bit. I don't know if I want to hear that because I.

[Kat]

Because you want to read it.

[Amy]

Because I want to read it. Yeah. This is my year of reading, and I really don't want to give up on a book.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

You know, and I'm sure.

[Kat]

Okay. To do that. I know people have different tastes.

[Amy]

Yeah. Which, speaking of books, tomorrow I'm doing a very special bonus episode. This is something we haven't done before, really. But Matt Smallbone, who is a pastor here in Nashville, he came on the Four Things podcast with me a couple of times, and he has a book coming out. And so we sat down and did a bonus episode. So it'll be loading up tomorrow on Wednesday. And he wrote a book called the Prayer Experiment. And this is his first book, his debut, sort of like the author of Theo of Golden. But what he did was he started praying the Lord's Prayer and used that as an outline to his prayers after going through a miscarriage. And then. And he's a pastor that was like, not praying. Cause he was like, I don't wanna pray anymore. So he decided to do. Dedicate an entire year to praying a very specific way. And it. It transformed his PR life. So he wrote a book about it called the Prayer Experiment. And I'll be sitting down with him or I already did pre taped, and it'll. It'll load up tomorrow. But I love Matt Smallbone. He's Australian, so if anything, tune in for the accent. The accent. And his cousins are for King and country. Do you know them? Yeah. And I think that one of them has a publishing company. They were the ones that I believe, like, were cheering him on. Like, dude, do the story. You got to write a book.

[Kat]

Say, dude, dude.

[Amy]

He says, I can only do it with the. With the words he says to me, like, aims. He calls me Aim. That's my nickname. Aim. Hey, good on you, Aim. He'll say, good on you, because I can repeat what I hear him say.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

And then he said, ben, my ex husband, even in the episode, he goes, is it okay if I say this? And I was like, well, we're recording. And he's like, ben's one of my best mates. And I was like, that's. I love that for y'.

[Kat]

All.

[Amy]

So best mate.

[Kat]

Best mate.

[Amy]

Ben's one of my best mates.

[Kat]

Australian and Irish accents are really hard to do. So. Yeah. So good on ya for doing. Being so good at it.

[Amy]

Good on ya. So if that's sort of your jam, your thing, then check out that bonus episode tomorrow. And Kat and I will be back together on Thursday for. We're resuming our normal Couch Talks. Q and A. Last week, we had an interview. I know, two interviews in a week, One on Couch Talks, one as a bonus episode. But we are back to answering your questions. Yeah, you the listener.

[Kat]

Well, to be fair, we answered their questions.

[Amy]

Oh yeah, and Mr. C and David interview. True, true, true. Okay. Well we hope wherever you are you have the day you need to have. Bye Bye. A complicated wellness routine is something that I just do not have the time for. That's where Sujo Organic comes in and saves me every single time. I love their cold pressed juices and wellness shots. I genuinely feel like I did something nutritious for my body without making it a whole production. My go to juices are Ginger Love and Uber Greens. I also love the Turmeric Pineapple immunity shot. It is small but but mighty. Sooja's powerful cold pressed fruit and vegetable juices and daily wellness shots prove you don't need a wellness retreat to feel like you took one. Just sip and let the superfoods do their thing. No gimmicks, no fads, just organic cold pressed wellness. That works because real wellness doesn't come in trends. It comes cold pressed, blended, with benefits and ready when you are. Just keep them in your fridge and grab on the go. Sip it, enjoy it and let Suja do the heavy lifting. Get ready. The Bobby Bones show is back on the Top Shelf. Country Cruise set sail March 2027 aboard the Celebrity Summit with stops in Bimini and Cozumel. Enjoy performances from Riley Greene, Chris Young, Lauren Elena and Randy Houser. Reserved now@topshelf country cruise.com there's a lot of talk about self care, but for anyone balancing work, family and everything else, real self care means getting through the day without aches or pain holding them back. A simple check in with a physical therapist can help. Physical therapy helps people move better for all the moments that matter and it can help them stay ahead of nagging issues before they snowball. Feeling good doesn't have to be a luxury. It's a smart choice for long term health. Learn more and find a local physical [e-mail] that's choosept.com your mom told you

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[Kat]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.