FEELING THINGS: Ways You’re Training People To Disrespect You & Why Amy Can Never Drink a White Russian Again

Summary

Podcast Summary: "FEELING THINGS: Ways You’re Training People To Disrespect You & Why Amy Can Never Drink a White Russian Again"

The Bobby Bones Show – March 8, 2026 | Hosts: Amy and Kat

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Episode Overview

In this lively and insightful episode of "Feeling Things," Amy and Kat explore the subtle ways we unintentionally train others to treat us with disrespect, and they share personal anecdotes that range from relationships gone wrong to funny language quirks. The episode also covers the "five levels of listening," offers practical self-care tips, and takes a humorous dive into memories involving White Russians and why Kat can never drink one again.

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Main Themes & Purpose

• Understanding Boundaries: How our actions (or lack of boundaries) teach people how to treat us.
• Self-Reflection: Sharing personal stories of over-accommodating, enabling, and people-pleasing.
• Better Listening: Exploring the different levels of listening and how to become a more present communicator.
• Humor & Relatability: Using banter and real stories to make these insights accessible and fun.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Cruise Events & Finding Whimsy (03:17 – 07:00)

• Kat is leading a "More Whimsy, Less Worry" health and wellness talk on the Bobby Bones cruise, struggling but ultimately enjoying the process of making her own rules for the event.
  • Quote: “I personally need more whimsy, less worry in my life, so. Yeah, why not? It's one of those things where...I'm going to be talking to myself.” – Kat (06:31)
• Amy will help with a pizza-making class in a lighthearted role.

2. TV Show Obsessions & Stress (07:13 – 10:49)

• Excitement over the return of the series "Paradise" and discussions about James Marsden’s underrated status.
• Love/hate with “Love is Blind” and how reality TV offers a break from heavier world events.
  • Quote: “That show. I guess it's the acting. I don't know. Sterling K. Brown is like so amazing.” – Amy (08:28)

3. Four Ways You’re Training People to Disrespect You (12:23 – 21:19)

1. The Availability Trap (13:10)

• Description: Always dropping everything to help others.
• Consequence: Teaches others to undervalue your time.
  • Therapist insight: “There are people that need to be needed...but then that ends up backfiring because you become so run down...And you can become resentful. Yeah, it's a big old trap.” – Amy (14:36)

2. The Permission Slip (15:05)

• Description: Laughing off disrespectful comments to avoid drama.
• Consequence: Signals that disrespect is acceptable.
  • Quote: “Oftentimes I will laugh something off because I don't want to make them uncomfortable...But then I'm like, wait a second, I'm uncomfortable, so why am I swallowing the discomfort? They're allowed to be uncomfortable too.” – Amy (15:59)

3. The Approval Seeker (17:01)

• Description: Over-explaining yourself and seeking approval unnecessarily.
  • Amy’s therapist advice: “Sometimes people aren’t...going to choose to not understand you. So this doesn’t matter. And clearest kind is something I think you’ve adopted too.” (17:41)

4. The Enabler (19:20)

• Description: Giving endless second chances and justifying others' poor behavior due to their past/trauma.
• Consequence: Teaches others that actions have no consequences.
  • Anecdote: Discussion about excusing poor partner behavior and “squeezing the last drop” out of relationships that have ended. (21:19)

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4. Personal Stories: Breakups, White Russians, and Regrets (21:33 – 29:41)

• Both hosts reflect on enabling in past relationships. Kat tells the story of the breakup that made her forever swear off White Russians after drinking too many that night.
  • Quote: “To this day, I cannot have a sip of a White Russian.” – Kat (24:00)
• Humorous and cringey tales about college romance mishaps—e.g., a boyfriend literally driving from Kat’s house to call another girl from her home phone.

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5. Language, Quirks & Regionalisms (34:14 – 36:43)

• The hosts discuss odd ways they pronounce words (yolk, drawer, crown, poem), how different regions say ‘grocery’ or ‘food shopping’, and favorite pronunciation quirks that bring levity to their conversations.

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6. The Five Levels of Listening (36:51 – 44:11)

1. Waiting to Talk (Self-Focused)
   • “You're quiet, but only because you're thinking about what you'll say next.” – Kat (38:14)
2. Distracted Listener
3. Understanding the Message
   • “You're listening to understand, not reply.” – Kat (40:59)
4. Recognizing Emotions (Empathetic listening)
5. Hearing the Unsaid (Fully present and intuitive)
   • Both admit they experience all these types in different contexts and encourage being kind to yourself when not always at your best.
   • Quote: “We do all of these. It’s not like you always are the waiting to talk.” – Amy (41:59)

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7. Sanitizing Pillows & Self-Care Life Hacks (61:24 – 63:28)

• Sharing a tip for letting pillows sunbathe outside to sanitize them with UV rays, inspired by orphanage traditions.
  • “Placing pillows in sunlight once a week naturally sterilizes them with UV rays. …killing dust mites, bacteria, and mold. Bonus, this gives you cleaner sleep and clearer skin.” – Kat (63:08)

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8. Quotes, Recaps & Playing with Language

• Searching for the perfect quote about boundaries leads to fun with classic phrases like:
  • “You train people how to treat you.”
  • “You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.” (63:37)
• The episode’s ongoing joke is Kat’s inability to recall "the quote," leaving listeners in suspense (59:43).

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9. Listener Engagement & Community

• Encouragement to email or call the show; newsletter plugs and community shout-outs.
  • Phone number: 877-207-2077 (60:39)
  • Quote: “We don’t spam you. Yeah, they’re easy to digest. Ooh, if I think of the quote, we could throw it in the email letter.” – Kat (61:09)

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Memorable Quotes

• “I'm not a White Russian anymore because, gosh, how many years has that been?” – Kat (64:10)
• “There are people that need to be needed...but then that ends up backfiring because you become so run down...And you can become resentful.” – Amy (14:36)
• “When I'm not working, I'm like, oh, I just want to be myself.” – Amy (37:30)
• “We do all of these [levels of listening]. It’s not like you always are the waiting to talk.” – Amy (41:59)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Cruise Discussions & Whimsy: 03:17 – 07:00
• TV & Pop Culture Chatter: 07:13 – 10:49
• Training People to Disrespect You: 12:23 – 21:19
• Breakups & Enabling Stories: 21:33 – 29:41
• Word Pronunciation & Regionalisms: 34:14 – 36:43
• Five Levels of Listening: 36:51 – 44:11
• Pillow Sunbathing Hack: 61:24 – 63:28

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Concluding Thoughts

• The episode is full of warmth, laughter, and actionable insights—especially around boundaries, self-respect, and the importance of presence (with a side of pop culture and personal confessions).
• The quest for the “perfect quote” about boundaries becomes a running joke, culminating in a promise for its reveal in a future newsletter or episode.
• The hosts' dynamic blend of humor, honesty, and expertise make these topics both relatable and motivating.

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“End Quote” Practice

“You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.” – Attributed in discussion (63:37)

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To Connect with the Show:

• Call: 877-207-2077
• Email: [e-mail]
• Newsletter: Sign up via show’s website for updates and that elusive quote!

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Summary prepared by your expert podcast summarizer.

Transcript

[Amy]

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[Kat]

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[Kat]

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[Kat]

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no extra cost, even on nights and weekends during tax season. Visit turbotax.com Only available with TurboTax full service experts. Real time updates only on iOS mobile app. 1, 2, 3. If you ever have feelings and you just want some, maybe a cat got you covered like a num brother.

[Amy]

Ladies and fellas, we just follow in

[Kat]

the spirit where it tell us from the real stuff to the chill stuff and the in between. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just stop and feel things. This is Feeling Things Things with Amy and Kat. Happy Tuesday. Welcome to Feeling Things. I'm Amy.

[Amy]

And I'm Kat.

[Kat]

And my feeling of the day is excited.

[Amy]

That's one of my feelings.

[Kat]

It is. Oh. What? They're definitely for two different reasons because. Does yours have to do with leading a health and wellness talk on a cruise?

[Amy]

No.

[Kat]

Okay. So I'm in charge of a talk on our cruise that we're doing the Bobby Bone shows on a cruise. And I got an email from people in our company. They're like, do you have, like, the theme of the topic? And I don't even know really how I got signed up to lead this talk, but it's on my agenda or my itinerary. You know, doing a sunrise walk, line dancing.

[Amy]

Wait, walk on the cruise boat?

[Kat]

Don't know yet.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

Don't know yet.

[Amy]

Tvd.

[Kat]

I don't know if we're like, walking the deck or like, if we've dogged somewhere, then we do that. Okay. So I decided the title of my talk More Whimsy, less worry.

[Amy]

Cute.

[Kat]

I know. And I like, there's whimsy and worry.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Are you gonna pack some garlic alliteration there? Well, I am doing a pizza class. A pizza making class.

[Amy]

So maybe you're participating. Are you hosting it?

[Kat]

I'm there. Come make a pizza with Amy or something like that. I'm not like the cook or the chef.

[Amy]

I was like, I've never known you to make a pizza.

[Kat]

I'm going to be doing a pizza making class.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

So perhaps I will be able to undress the garlic, take its coat off. Take its coat off.

[Amy]

You made it a little more dirty. Yeah.

[Kat]

Get a little cozy, comfy, kick your shoes off, stay a while. So I just thought of that. So it got me excited that now I have a title and then I'll know where to go and, like, what my theme is going to be. Because I think with all the craziness in the world, the whimsy needs to come from all of us. And if collectively.

[Amy]

That's a new word.

[Kat]

I feel like I just glitched collectively. If we all contribute more whimsy, then there will just be more whimsy and The.

[Amy]

I thought you were gonna say, then everybody that needs to be arrested from the Epstein files will be arrested.

[Kat]

No, that's probably not gonn. But I think that the easier it will be to create more whimsy.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Because there'll be so much momentum from everybody's whimsy that the whimsy is just going to flow. Because sometimes people are like, I don't know, I just can't tap into my whimsy. It's just too much. But then take some of mine. Like, if we just get it going, like, let's. And, and, and. And less worry would be like. There's also a lot of worry about things that are very much out of our control. So we say a lot on here. Wait to worry. Obviously you need to worry when necessary, but if you could wait to worry anyway. More whimsy, less worry.

[Amy]

I like it.

[Kat]

That's my.

[Amy]

So you have to come up with that all by yourself? It could be whatever did.

[Kat]

Well, sure did.

[Amy]

I meant like, they're not giving you, like, we want you to do this. They're like, you could do whatever you want.

[Kat]

I guess I almost. I. I replied back to the. Well, I thought about. I replied back to the email just with that title, but before I gave the title, I was going to reply back with, well, do you have any direction? Or what would y' all like? Or what are the parameters? Or can y' all give me. And then I was like, no, it sounds like that they just want me to take control of this. And Yeah. I personally need more whimsy, less worry in my life. So. Yeah, why not? It's one of those things where, like, as I'm talking, like, I'm going to be talking to myself.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

So the talk that I'm leading is. Isn't me talking at anybody. It's talking with. Yeah.

[Amy]

Which is the best part.

[Kat]

She wants to go on a cruise and get talked at.

[Amy]

Well, I guess if it's you and they're like a fan, I'd be talked at by the people that I look up to.

[Kat]

Maybe. So why are you excited?

[Amy]

Well, I just added that in because I. I have another feeling. But I'm excited because I learned today that Paradise Season 2 is back.

[Kat]

Oh, yeah.

[Amy]

And I was worried that was going to be a show that was just a one and done because it was so good.

[Kat]

So good.

[Amy]

One of my favorite shows. Except there was one episode.

[Kat]

Don't spoil it.

[Amy]

I'm not going to.

[Kat]

Okay. Sorry. This is coming for.

[Amy]

I'm projecting on me.

[Kat]

I'm projecting because I. I spoil things on the Bobby Bone show often over the years. I just, it's. I. It's almost like become one of my things. Like I'm known for not proud of it, but so that. Yeah, I'm projecting onto you. Like, oh no, I think she' about to spoil and you're not. You have.

[Amy]

No, I won't spoil because the show is so good. If you haven't seen it, I don't want you to know anything about it. But I was just going to say there was one episode that gave me so much anxiety I couldn't even watch it. I had to listen to it. It was play on the tv. Patrick. I'm not kidding. It was playing on the tv. Patrick was watching it. And then I was doing art on my kitchen table just listening to it. And every so often I'd be like, what's. What happened? Because I couldn't watch it. I. That show. I guess it's the acting. I don't know. Sterling K. Brown is like so amazing.

[Kat]

Also. James Marsden is so beautiful.

[Amy]

He was in it.

[Kat]

Oh my God.

[Amy]

Oh my gosh.

[Kat]

He's 50. He might even be at this point.

[Amy]

50.

[Kat]

That's crazy. He doesn't, he doesn't look.

[Amy]

He does not look like that.

[Kat]

But also, talk about underrated hottie. He doesn't get talked about as much as like, you know, Brad Pitt over the years or something. Which he's probably. I'm talking about other men his age. Like who else is in their 50s? Exactly. That's my point.

[Amy]

Yeah. I can't.

[Kat]

He's not.

[Amy]

I know. He's in other stuff.

[Kat]

Jury duty.

[Amy]

Oh yeah. I didn't watch that.

[Kat]

Okay. He was in that though. But I mean, his career certainly began well before that. So I don't know exactly. But that's my point. Is, is like. Is that.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

James Marsden's not. I don't know why. I mean, maybe for some people he's always been at the top of the list.

[Amy]

But when I think of like underrated hottie. Maybe for some people he's always been an underrated.

[Kat]

Maybe, maybe, maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm late to the party. But he is very.

[Amy]

Yeah. Sounds like very attractive.

[Kat]

I do.

[Amy]

I think. Okay, well, that's. I'm excited because of that. Because it comes back out on so every. Yeah. Every month. This was really hard for me to understand, so just bear with me. Comes out Mondays at 12am which means it comes out Sunday night. But you'd have to stay up right

[Kat]

so it's like the Hulu's Love Story every week, Thursday at 11pm so really it's Friday out. So it's really midnight Eastern time. Same thing here.

[Amy]

Okay. So you could watch it Mondays. And they're doing. They release a week. They released the first three. This is what I do. Like when they do this, they give you three episodes to start with and then they do week to week.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

But I'm pumped.

[Kat]

I am also pumped. And now I'll have two shows that are releasing weekly to look forward to. So I've got Love Story and Paradise.

[Amy]

And you're gonna watch Love is blind season 10.

[Kat]

No, I'm probably not. Although I know that that's a hot topic. Like after we talked about yes, Love is Blind, it was all. That's all. My. Thankfully, my algorithm was giving me some of that so I could take a break from some of the heavier stuff in the world.

[Amy]

You're welcome.

[Kat]

I was like, oh, man. Cats. Cat was on to something with this.

[Amy]

So you have a different perspective. So last week we talked about this. You have a different perspective now that you've seen it.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

You understand it.

[Kat]

Yeah, I totally get it now. Like, this guy. What in the world? Who does he think he is? Did you see that his ex girlfriend was like playing a voicemail that he left her?

[Amy]

No.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

And he's. You're deeper in it.

[Kat]

He's talking about how he spent like 900 on dinner and first of all, why and what? I don't know. Apparently he's in a lot of debt.

[Amy]

Well.

[Kat]

And he's short, which is if he

[Amy]

was a good person, in short, nobody

[Kat]

would be saying anything about this. It's just that he was so rude to her.

[Amy]

Yeah. Anyway, me not even written me.

[Kat]

We'll move on. I have a little game. You get to pick.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

We're going to talk about both, but it's. Which one are we going to do first? Okay. Do you want four ways you're accidentally training people to disrespect you or the five levels of listening? Which one do you want first?

[Amy]

Is this the game?

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Okay. It's really.

[Kat]

Just pick which one we're going to talk about first.

[Amy]

We can do the first one. I was kind of waiting for you to. One of them be a game.

[Kat]

Wait, so. No, neither one is like a game. It's just. It's like pick your. Pick your topic.

[Amy]

Okay. The first one. Okay.

[Kat]

We'll just go in order. That's the one I have first. Anyway, so thank you. And I'M curious your take on it as a therapist. Like how we train people to treat us. You know some quotes I love like that this makes me think of is like, yeah, you train people how to treat you. And then also the other one just escaped me. I had it in my mind. Oh, shoot. No, come on, come back. No, it was right there.

[Amy]

You trained.

[Kat]

Okay, the quote, the quote that I wanted to remember is what other people

[Amy]

think about you is none of your business. That.

[Kat]

Not that. No. Oh, now I'm even more. Okay, okay. Train. You train people how to treat you and then how you.

[Amy]

My availability. My free time is not your availability.

[Kat]

No, I'm just thinking of sayings my tr. My treat. You treat me how you treat me. I treat myself.

[Amy]

Others as though you would like to be treated.

[Kat]

Love your neighbor. No. Okay, it'll come to me. It'll come to me. But these are ways we're accidentally training people to disrespect. That's okay. And again, give us your thoughts as a therapist. Okay. Because we train people how to treat. Oh, I was seeing if I said that line again because that's where I lost it when I said I'm curious your thoughts as a therapist. Okay. It'll come back to me. The first way is the availability trap. You drop everything for people. You know, like, you're the one they call. They need you to drop them. You're teaching them my time has no value. So you could try this instead. I can help you with this on Thursday after 2pm Yeah, I like that.

[Amy]

Like you give something that works for you. I do think that is a training people how to treat you thing.

[Kat]

I do think that though if someone is dropping stuff. Well, when necessary, obviously this was. If it's like someone has a flat tire.

[Amy]

Sorry, I'm watching Love is Blind.

[Kat]

Yeah, I can come Thursday after you. Okay. So obviously within reason, but I do think why some people drop things is they think they're being helpful. And they are, but they, they don't.

[Amy]

Yeah. Also I think people, there are people that need to be needed. And so that's like they get a high off of that. Like, oh, you need me, I'll be there. But then that ends up backfiring because you become so run down, you don't take time for yourself. You're always fulfilling others and then people end up not be doing that same thing for you. And you can become resentful. Yeah, it's a big old trap.

[Kat]

Trap.

[Amy]

Yeah. But yeah, fine line. You help people.

[Kat]

Yes.

[Amy]

But with.

[Kat]

You can have boundaries around it. Within reason. Okay. The second way is the permission slip. You laugh off their disrespectful comments. Yeah. So what you're thinking in doing that is like, oh, I just, I don't want to be dramatic. Want to keep things drama free. What you're teaching someone when you do that over and over is that disrespect is acceptable and even entertaining.

[Amy]

Oh, yeah, this one's hard because I feel like a lot of women do that because we've been taught that, like people will just disrespect us and people talk. Will talk like that. I think this happens more with women than with men, but also can feel like self preservation because if I say something, is there going to be some kind of punishment or consequence for me sticking up for myself, especially in the workplace?

[Kat]

Yeah. Like, what's the backlash?

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

So.

[Amy]

But yeah, that's tough. But also what I try to remind myself is because oftentimes I will laugh something off because I don't want to make them uncomfortable, especially if I feel like I'm not sure if they meant to be rude or not. But then I'm like, wait a second, I'm uncomfortable, so why am I swallowing the discomfort? Like they're allowed to be uncomfortable too.

[Kat]

Yeah. And one way to handle that is just, that's not funny. And then move on instead of laughing at it. But like, you don't have to make it dramatic in this whole thing of like, why do you think that's funny? Like, don't just like a statement of like, oh, that's not funny.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

And move on.

[Amy]

Yeah. You.

[Kat]

There was easier said than done.

[Amy]

There was some list at some point you read. I honestly don't know what it's for. But I liked one of the statements where it was like, well, that's a weird comment to make. Like just being like, yeah. Huh.

[Kat]

It really. Yeah. That one will really throw people off.

[Amy]

It's an odd thing to say out loud.

[Kat]

Like, oh, yeah. Interesting thing to say out loud. Okay.

[Amy]

Awkward.

[Kat]

The third way is the approval seeker. So you explain yourself when you do not need to. Yeah, I, I do that.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

I explain a lot. Over explain, over explain. I've tried. You've helped me a lot with over explaining.

[Amy]

You. Oh my gosh. If we could. I wish we could show like a case study of your progress.

[Kat]

So you've noticed.

[Amy]

Well, I just remember back in the day working on some things with you, like texts you would send people or stuff like that. And I'd be like, this is too much information. And Now I feel like you've become good at. I think it's because you have your scripts now sometimes.

[Kat]

Oh, I love a script.

[Amy]

Yeah. But I just remember you used to give so much information. I think you wanting people to understand you. But sometimes people aren't. They're not. They're just going to choose to not understand you. So this doesn't matter. And clearest kind is something I think you've adopted too.

[Kat]

What we think when we do this is I'm being polite and considerate in giving all the details right. And what you're teaching people when you do that is my decisions need their approval to be valid when really a simple response could be that doesn't work for me, full stop.

[Amy]

Would you send a message like that?

[Kat]

Yes, I have done it in my relationship. That doesn't work for me. You know that. Yeah, I told you that exact line. This doesn't work for me, I think is how I said it.

[Amy]

Do you relate to the part that says I'm being polite and considerate or with.

[Kat]

I think that's in general why a lot of people do it. But I'm doing it to make sure that they don't think negatively of me or that they understand the full picture. So they don't. It doesn't reflect poorly on me because I feel like the more information I give will be helpful.

[Amy]

I also feel like there might be a part of you that doesn't want to come off as mean. You want them to understand that, like.

[Kat]

Yeah. So they think positive. Yeah, I think we're saying the same thing, right?

[Amy]

Yes.

[Kat]

Or does this not work for you?

[Amy]

Well, I think it's both. That them not taking it personally is also going to help them think positively of you.

[Kat]

Yes, exactly.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Ad Voice 1]

The fourth way.

[Kat]

The enabler. Are you any of these, by the way, or are you just so healthy?

[Amy]

I do the laugh at disrespectful comments. That's when I struggle with that. I'm.

[Kat]

You did admit to that.

[Amy]

I'm actively working on. Definitely don't fall on the availability trap.

[Kat]

You're not. Oh, you need something. Do you even offer Thursday at 2pm

[Amy]

No, I will offer a time, but I don't think I'm anybody. When I think of my friends, I don't think any of them think of me as the person that like the

[Kat]

go to call catcher's always available.

[Amy]

Yeah, I'm not. Yeah. I'm not a rescuer too. They'll come to me for like support or advice or questions. But they're okay if Something happened. I'm painting myself as a bad friend. If something happened, people knew, know that I'll be there, but I'm not always available.

[Kat]

Sounds like you're being an approval seeker at the moment. You don't need to over explain. We know who you are.

[Amy]

Just kidding.

[Kat]

The enabler. You give second chances to everyone and what you think is, well, everybody makes mistakes and. Or something that just came to mind for this one. A lot is like their childhood or what is that called? Like a excuse. Like you excuse their trauma. Like you feel bad because their behavior is a result of something that they went through. But it's got a word like apologist. I mean, I can't even think of the quote I wanted to say earlier that I thought was so good. So don't ask my brain right now. But you know, like a. Nevermind your defense.

[Amy]

Justify you.

[Kat]

Justify you. I feel like there is a exact saying, maybe it'll come to me, maybe not. What you're teaching them when you enable that way is actions don't have consequences. And what you could try instead is I've already addressed this with you. Moving forward. Fill in the blank.

[Amy]

I think I used to do this especially with men. I would excuse them, but I think that was more because I'd like. I wanted to squeeze the lemon of out of a relationship when it was really over.

[Kat]

Yeah, that one last drop.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Made me laugh the other day because we were talking about just breakups in general, like in life. And Kat was like, I don't, I don't know. Like I've never been the one to break up. Like I've only been broken up with and do you want to admit. Are you gonna admit what you say that you do now as a married woman?

[Amy]

Yeah. It's funny. Okay.

[Kat]

It made me laugh.

[Amy]

So I've never, I mean I've ended something with somebody that was like a fling but not like a serious. I've never had a break up with somebody that I think somebody like cried over me, you know, Whereas I've been broken up with multiple times and I felt that like sadness, whatever. So sometimes. And I would do it. I mean, sometimes I still think about it, but I would do it more. When we were dating, I would just picture what it would be like to break up with Patrick, just to see his reaction, to see what he would do and how he would feel. Because I think this comes from like, I want people to like long for me the way that I have longed for other people. And so I'm like, I want some to be heartbroken over losing me. But then, guys, I would never do it.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

I just have a thought about it.

[Kat]

You just think about breaking up with them so you can see how sad he'd be.

[Amy]

Yes. And, like, would he cry when he, like, I tried to hang out with his friends, he would go to the bar and he would just cry so he'd have to go home. And then his friends would be like, patrick, come on out. There's girls here. And he'd be like, I don't want to see any other girls. I love cat. And then he'd, like, call me every night, beg for me to come back.

[Kat]

Yeah. You just thought about it a little bit.

[Amy]

Just once or twice. Once or twice. Hear me when I say I would never, ever.

[Kat]

Yeah. And after you said that, you're like, also, this isn't healthy.

[Amy]

I was like, I'm crazy.

[Kat]

But I love that you admit that sort of stuff. And it's.

[Amy]

It.

[Kat]

I feel like it's a thought.

[Amy]

Those are just the kind of daydreams I have. Yeah.

[Kat]

And I don't know that I've. I mean, I had two serious boyfriends before I got married, and I pretty sure they both. I mean, one ended because it needed to end, but I think I probably would have stayed with him. I would have been an enabler. He did a lot of, like, not great things, but I was. Oh, that's just a mistake that you hooked up with your ex girlfriend.

[Amy]

I know you feel bad, and I

[Kat]

came to your house to pick up my cell phone because I forgot it and I caught y'.

[Amy]

All

[Kat]

Just a mistake.

[Amy]

Did you stay with them?

[Kat]

Well, I'm pretty sure we kind of broke up that night. And then that's when I drank too many White Russians. And I cannot, to this day. To this day, I cannot have a sip of a White Russian.

[Amy]

Where were you going? Where you were ordering a White Russian.

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[Kat]

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[Amy]

Where were you going? Where you were ordering a White Russian ptarmigan.

[Kat]

The ptarmigan, we would call it Petar.

[Amy]

It's a bar. It's a frozen drink.

[Kat]

Bryan College Station across from Carney's and the 21 and Up Bar. So there's two bars in Bryan College Station area, Texas A&M. And they were. I have no idea. I'm sure they're still there. But these were very popular when I was there. And one was 18 and up. That was Carney's and across the street was Ptarmigan and it was 21 and up. And I must have been 21 at that. That's the only reason why I know. Well, I mean, it's not like I didn't get in sometimes before I officially turned 21. But I'm pretty sure at the time that this relationship ended or when this would have happened, I would have been 21 at ptarmigan having White Russians and I got so sick.

[Amy]

Was that your drink of choice?

[Kat]

It was that night. Okay, I'll have a White Russian. I mean, and I was like crying. It was like, not good.

[Amy]

I'll take another.

[Kat]

I Don't recall that ever really being my drink of choice. To answer your question. I just know that night I must have really wanted to turn into Taiwan on. And they taste like milkshakes. So it gets out of control. I don't know. I would have to. Okay, so a classic White Russian cocktail requires, according to Shannon, three main ingredients. Vodka, coffee and liqueur. Like Kahlua and cream, heavy cream, half and half or like whole milk served over ice in an old fashioned glass.

[Amy]

Okay, so that is somewhat a bushwacker. It's like the same bushwacker. I don't think it's coffee. I think it's. It's like chocolatey. But it might be. I actually don't know what's in a bushwacker. But they're, they're frozen. They're actually like milkshakes. But they're like more icy than. Yeah, but okay, well, this. Go girl.

[Kat]

I enabled his behavior. Behavior a little bit. So you took him back then, I'm sure. I think we dated a little bit more after that at some point.

[Amy]

Is this the egg, boyfriend? Egg. You cried of the eggs.

[Kat]

Oh, no, that was, that was the one after him.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

And he definitely broke up with me. There is no confusion on who ended it. The thing about the one before, actually, I think meeting him is what helped me not go back to the other. Do you know what I mean?

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Like the enabler I probably would have gone back to multiple times because I always did. And he was the way that he was a ladies man, if you will. There was one time. Have I ever told you a story where I was. We were in college, but I was. We were back in Austin. I was home visiting for the weekend. He was from Austin too, but he was in our driveway and just had left. And so we. Cell phones and house phones still coexisted together. This isn't like cell phone time. So he called the landline and said is. I won't say her name now. I think I used to tell this story and say her name, but that feels weird now that I've matured. But he was like, let's say it was Catherine. Is Catherine there? And I was like, what? You're what? This is Amy. Like you're in my driveway. But Catherine was another one of his ex girlfriends. And my mom just looked at me and she was like, Amy, you know what he's doing? He's literally leaving here and calling her because he's going to meet up with her. He was going over to her house. Like that's what he's doing. And he didn't break up with him?

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No.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

Because he had some excuse. Oh, well. But like, his. I could see his tail lights in my driveway. He hadn't even fully left. And from his car was calling what he thought was her landline. And because it's not like he probably didn't have those numbers saved. And he probably just went to, like, the recent. You know what I mean?

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

So anyway, same guy. So the girl that when I left my cell phone at his house in College Station, now that we're back in college, that was a different ex girlfriend. And so who knows? He just was a mess. But then I met the other guy, and then that helped me not go back to him. And then I acted like a psycho, and he made me eggs one day, and I was like, you know, I don't eat the yolk. I was like, crazy person.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Oh, my God.

[Amy]

You were doing the best you could at the time.

[Kat]

My disordered eating was so out of control. It was almost like, do you not even know me? I can't have the yolk. Yeah, but also, that was, what, 2002? Like, what did we. Where was. Were we eating yolk then? Or was I just not eating yolk? Because, you know, we've had a love hate relationship with the yolk.

[Amy]

I just can't get past the way you say it. And you know, I was gonna say that you kept saying it.

[Kat]

Hey, say it your way.

[Amy]

Joke. Yoke. Yo. I don't say with a British accent. Well, that's how when you say yolk, it kind of sounds gross.

[Kat]

Well, that doesn't work for me. That's not funny. We try all the ways. Like, I feel disrespected right now, and I'm like, I'm never helping you. I've already addressed this with you. Those are all the things.

[Amy]

Okay, I think it was just the amount of times you said it. You just said it once.

[Kat]

Okay, fine. Yolk.

[Amy]

Okay. You can say it however you want. It was just. You said it, like, six times.

[Kat]

Okay, here's things I can't say.

[Amy]

Yolk.

[Kat]

Dwar. Crown. These. Those are three words I'm never gonna say how everybody wants me to say them. No, I say almond.

[Amy]

Oh, I only. So.

[Kat]

Okay, fine. Okay. Four words. Poem. Poem. Poem. Those are words I'm gonna say.

[Ad Voice 1]

That's.

[Kat]

Okay, So I have four words that I struggle with. You're right. Poem. Drawer. Crown.

[Amy]

Yolk.

[Kat]

And why do I say it? Why do I not say it correctly?

[Amy]

You're asking me.

[Kat]

Well, I don't know.

[Amy]

I don't know, but I either. But I think it's okay for you to say them that way. I'm gonna work on not calling it out. Okay.

[Kat]

I don't care if you call it out. Everybody calls it out. I was talking about these color sticks.

[Amy]

Crayons. I grew up saying crown, too. Like, I think a lot of people say, so what is it?

[Kat]

What's the correct way spelled?

[Amy]

Crayon. But they are crowns.

[Kat]

So what am I saying wrong?

[Amy]

I don't know. Why. Why did we ever start saying crowns?

[Kat]

They are crowns. Crowns.

[Amy]

You'd kind of say a mixture of crayon and crown.

[Kat]

Crayon.

[Amy]

Crayon. But I don't know why was crayon hard for people to say as a kid? So we just all started saying crown. Okay. That's it. And then you just get used to it. I say bagel instead of bagel. Yeah.

[Kat]

You should not be talking bagel.

[Amy]

A bagel.

[Kat]

A bagel. Bagel. Do you say grocery? Do you say, like, shannon's in here. So I'll say. Use her as an example. Like, she'll say, I'm going to the grocery.

[Amy]

I say grocery store.

[Kat]

Yeah, but some people just say grocery.

[Amy]

Yeah. I think that's like a. Where you grew up. Because also my friend that is from Boston says she's going food shopping. Food shopping instead of grocery shopping. Okay. Shannon used to say that. Where did you grow up? Okay, so Philly. So I think in the northern parts, they say food shopping instead of grocery shopping.

[Kat]

Okay. So. Because I always grew up saying, we're gonna go to the store or the grocery store. And then some people just leave it as, oh, I'm headed to the grocery. And then I. I'm always fill in the blank. Well, it just. That's what it's to them. That's the store.

[Amy]

Yeah. I'm going to the grocery. Like, I'm going to the mall.

[Kat]

Right.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

Yeah. Well, speaking of words and listening and hearing and talking.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

We can move on to the next category.

[Amy]

The second part of the game.

[Kat]

The second part of the game. Class, did you know there are five levels of listening?

[Amy]

This is gonna be a little test.

[Kat]

You and I both are like the. The number one. The number one type of listening. We're the wait to talk.

[Amy]

Well, can I give a caveat?

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

I feel like in my personal life, I listen differently than my professional life.

[Kat]

Oh, yeah, for sure.

[Amy]

Because I don't want anybody to listen to this and be like, oh, she's probably terrible at her job.

[Kat]

Oh, no. I think that you can definitely prioritize.

[Amy]

Yeah, but, like, when I'm not working, I'm like, oh, I just want to be myself.

[Kat]

Absolutely. And also. Yeah, your primary job, when you're listening. Because the number one thing is waiting to talk. Like, when you're a therapist, you are listening most of the time. You can't be, like, waiting to, like. I'm trying to imagine if I went to a therapist and then they talked the entire time. I feel like.

[Amy]

Especially if you had stuff to say. Some clients like it. Oh, I have a lot to say. No, no, no, no, no, no. I wouldn't. No, I'm saying, like, if you had stuff to say, that would really bother you, which. It would bother me too. There are some clients that, like, don't speak much, so we have talking facilitate them to come out. Yeah.

[Kat]

You like to prompt massage, the conversation.

[Amy]

I don't like that.

[Kat]

Okay. Waiting to talk. You're quiet, but only because you're thinking about what you'll say next. And I'm itching to do it.

[Amy]

Yeah, I do that a lot.

[Kat]

Waiting to talk. Waiting to talk. Waiting to talk. It's called. Also called self focused.

[Amy]

Oh, I don't.

[Kat]

That doesn't sound very good.

[Amy]

I just. One of the reasons I do that is I get really excited. And also, we've talked about this. We. For which clearly you can see how easily you forget things that you want to say. I forget stuff if I don't say it sometimes that means it wasn't that important. Might not need to be said.

[Kat]

Don't worry. This. This entire conversation, I've been trying to think of that quote in the back of my mind, and I'm like, stay focused. Stay focused. But think of the quote. What is the quote? Can't think of the quote. Still haven't thought of it. My goal is to think of it by the end of the episode, but also if I don't. It just wasn't that important.

[Amy]

Yeah. Was it meant to be?

[Kat]

But it feels so good to think of it.

[Amy]

You still probably have a little bit of time.

[Kat]

You can be hearing the words. So this is a distracted listener. You catch parts of the conversation, but your attention drifts.

[Amy]

I don't think I relate to that unless I do sometimes. Well, unless I'm really preoccupied with something going on.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Like, I don't know what that would be right now, but.

[Kat]

Well, I can give you an example, like when I'm at the grocery store, because I've done this with you before. If I'm at the grocery store, and I'm on the phone and you're talking, and I'm also actively. I'm at the grocery. When I'm food shopping and I'm on the phone with somebody and they're talking, and I'm looking for something, and I'm trying to. And I'm. Have.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

I'm overstimulated. I will be like, oh, shoot. Like, I just missed a part, and I need to, like, admit.

[Amy]

Like, do you admit it or do you just, like, act like, you know?

[Kat]

Well, I'll try to. I feel like, try to survive.

[Amy]

What? Sometimes you're just like, yeah. And I'm like, did she

[Kat]

maybe. Which I feel we all knew.

[Amy]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kat]

You'll never know. Maybe it was a yeah. Or maybe it was a yeah. I really hope I can pick up on what she's saying, but it wasn't intentional.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

And I care about what you're saying. I know there's been a time where I have, like, had to say, like, I'm sorry, I don't remember what you're talking about.

[Amy]

Grocery shopping and having a serious conversation is really hard. I can't even. I used to try to.

[Kat]

Well, let's not call it audio books

[Amy]

while I grocery shopped. And I would not end up hearing what was said because I'm so focused on finding my broccoli, you know, so that's tough.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

So be easy on yourself.

[Kat]

Okay. Thank you. There's the understanding, the message type of listener. This is the focus.

[Amy]

This is who you want to be.

[Kat]

This is who you want to be. To all you focusers out there, you're tuned in. You hear not just the words, but what they mean. You're listening to understand, not reply. How to be this person.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Who just listens. No reply.

[Amy]

But what if you want to reply? Like, what if I want you to reply to me?

[Kat]

You wait. I imagine that you wait as a listener, and then you say, probably the question we've talked about even had a listener remind us about it of, do you want me to just listen or do you want me to give my thoughts?

[Amy]

Do you want. You want my feedback? Yeah.

[Kat]

Okay. Next up is the listener that recognizes emotions. This is the empathetic person.

[Amy]

Feels like they're getting better as we go.

[Kat]

You go deeper. You sense their emotional state and recognize how they feel, not just what they say.

[Amy]

Yeah. Okay. I just have to say this. I think you do. And I'm put myself in this category. We do all of these. It's not like you always Are the waiting to talk. It just is.

[Kat]

That's true. And I can be. I can feel. You know what I really feel the most? This is sort of unrelated, but like, Stevenson and I were watching like, Funniest Home Videos the other day, and I. I have a really hard time watching the videos where people fall or hit their groin area or like they slide. Like, I don't. Stevenson's like, dying, laughing, and he's like. And I am uncomfortable. I don't like it. I feel it in my body. Like, my body feels it. It's painful.

[Amy]

I do love a slipping video. There's some funny videos of people. Yeah. I don't like when people are embarrassed. I. I do not find that funny. And I get very uncomfortable. Like, I don't want to embarrass somebody else, and if somebody else feels embarrassed, I want to rescue them. But I can watch somebody fall. Unless it's like they broke a bone, then that's like.

[Kat]

Well, yeah, but a lot of times when it's submitted to the America's Funniest Home Videos, like, it's not a tragic event.

[Amy]

It's.

[Kat]

They're even laughing. Yeah, but my body feels it. Like, I. Yeah, I don't like it.

[Amy]

Okay. You're feel. You have feelings, you have emotions, you're connected.

[Kat]

And then finally someone who hears what's unsaid so they are fully present. Like, you can pick up up on the. The deeper meaning. Like the things that someone might be struggling to express, what they need you to hear. So you know, the unsaid. Yeah, I don't know that I have that gift. I. I need more like, so tell me, you know. Yeah, I'm not a mind reader.

[Amy]

Yeah, I don't know that anybody is fully this picking up on. Yeah, we can pick up on the deeper meaning, but like, yeah, we're not. That's. I can't read people's minds and I listen to people for a living. Because when you assume things often, then we're just planting that in their head and we don't know if that's really actually what they need or not.

[Kat]

You know what assuming does?

[Amy]

It makes a bad word of you and me.

[Kat]

So do you think that falls into the category of bad word?

[Amy]

Yeah, you.

[Kat]

I don't know. According to the fcc. Shannon, look that up. I mean, podcasting you can cuss. Not that we. We're not a podcast that cusses, but fcc. FCC for the federal. The regulate. They regulate what's allowed on airwaves like the radio and tv, but podcasting doesn't have the same regulations, but that's like.

[Amy]

Would you want your six year old saying that word?

[Kat]

No, but I don't. I do think I. On radio and tv, we might be

[Amy]

able to say, oh, I just don't like that word.

[Kat]

The word oh. Really?

[Amy]

Yeah. Like I'll say other curse words. No, willy nilly. I just don't really like that one. I know how I know that you don't like when I say pisses me off. You don't like that I don't like that word.

[Kat]

Okay. Okay. According to the FCC's website, federal communications Commission, to be exact, they do consider that word.

[Amy]

You can say it.

[Kat]

Ass.

[Amy]

I feel like we're children.

[Kat]

A vulgar, indecent or profane term that is inappropriate for broadcast between 6am and 10pm wow. So 10:01pm election.

[Amy]

It RIP.

[Kat]

But what is that saying for real? Ass. I'm trying to think of it because I can't. My brain does not. You know what assumptions. You know what assuming does makes that ass out of me.

[Amy]

You and me.

[Kat]

You and me. Okay.

[Amy]

It's like how you spell it.

[Kat]

You and me. Because assume. Yeah, that's how.

[Amy]

I didn't mean to throw you off.

[Kat]

No, I get it now. I. I know the saying. But I also colle that quote. I just almost want to sit here. Oh, we're back here. Until I think of the quote. Like, you train people how to treat you. That's where. And then I had another quote that's similar. What if we just sit here until I figure it out?

[Amy]

Let's just like, let me just sit here. Let's just. Let's just say some quotes. I can tell you a story of when I act. I was broken up with. I mean, I broke up with somebody once.

[Kat]

Okay.

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Health insurance should make getting care easier, but sometimes it can feel like the opposite. That's why UnitedHealthcare is committed to putting care at the heart of health insurance with empathy, transparency, and real human connection. I mean, doesn't care feel different when it's personal? When you can tell that the person on the other end of the phone, the screen, and the Service genuinely cares? UnitedHealthcare is working to make that happen every day. They're also helping people make healthcare decisions with confidence, giving them the information that they need to better understand their benefits, costs and claims. Because UnitedHealthcare knows when you understand that stuff, you can better get the care you and your family need. UnitedHealthcare is also working to make care more accessible. They're doing it by helping connect people with more top doctors, clinics, specialists and such right in their own communities. It makes getting care easier and feels way more personal. You know, care can show up in a lot of ways and everyone at UnitedHealthcare is committed to bringing it every day. Learn more about how UnitedHealthcare is committed to [e-mail] care in business, there's no room for guesswork.

[Kat]

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[Kat]

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[Amy]

I can tell you a story of when I act I was broken up with. I mean, I broke up with somebody once. Okay. It came to me earlier and I didn't think it was important, but now it feels important.

[Kat]

Okay. I'm gonna be listening as much as I can while I also try to think of the quote.

[Amy]

Okay, well, see my active. So this was in fifth grade. It was my first boyfriend and he was so cute and he asked me to be his girlfriend. And then we didn't talk because, you know, when you're in fifth grade and you have a boyfriend, then you get scared of them. And then. So I had my friend break up with him because I wasn't talking to him, obviously, and he was really upset and he sent me an email that night. Well, first he called me and asked me to get on AIM so we could talk. So we couldn't talk on the phone, and I said no. So then he sent me an email and he said that the only two things he wants out of life are for me to go back out with him again and to go to heaven.

[Kat]

Oh, so did you.

[Amy]

I think I just was so anxious about having a boyfriend because then I wouldn't speak to. I got nervous when I would see him. But, like, before we were friends.

[Kat]

Where is he now?

[Amy]

Oh, he's like a professional baseball coach.

[Kat]

Shut up. Yeah, to hang. You kind of said that with.

[Amy]

I mean, obviously you're happy, so it's

[Kat]

fine you're dating or you're married.

[Amy]

I've been married for a couple years now. I don't think as. Because we continue to go to school together. I don't think as we both grew into the people that we are, we.

[Kat]

It wouldn't have worked.

[Amy]

No, I mean, there's nothing. I don't. There's nothing wrong with him. I just.

[Kat]

I feel like baseball players are a unique breed.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Fact.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

There's just something they.

[Amy]

What is their breed? I don't know.

[Kat]

I only knew like five. I mean, not fifth grade, but since he went up to be a professional baseball coach, I assume he played in

[Amy]

like, not in college, I think high

[Kat]

school, college, like, I don't know, they just. I can't speak to the ones now. But in my day growing up, they all had the same aesthetic and vibe. Yes. Demeanor.

[Amy]

Yes, yes.

[Kat]

And you know those little hemp necklaces?

[Amy]

Titanium. For a while they were wearing like titanium necklaces.

[Kat]

Yeah, they're just, they just have a vibe.

[Amy]

Yeah. And I think about this now, baseball would be like if I had a. Marry an athlete. Like what, what athlete would you marry? Because baseball, I feel like would be hard.

[Kat]

There's a lot, so many games.

[Amy]

Yeah. Like I would want the shortest season that makes the most money, that has the smallest risk of energy.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

Injury, Tennis injury or golf.

[Kat]

Golf. They're gone a lot.

[Amy]

Yeah. But they're not gonna really get that hurt.

[Kat]

But like if you had to watch them, don't you think like a tennis match would be.

[Amy]

Yeah, tennis would be cool, a little more fun. And I think golf also I would get really anxious because you never like, people are more consistent in tennis than.

[Kat]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Amy]

I think I take either though.

[Kat]

I. I'm choosing tennis.

[Amy]

I'd rather have tennis because then they could teach me. I'm more interested in also playing tennis with my husband than playing golf.

[Kat]

Yeah. When you said the, that your fifth grade boyfriend was like, there's only two things I want in life, it made me think of something unrelated. But. But two things. Like two. Not the quote, not the quote, not the quote. Another quote.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

This is from. This is the unknown. I think.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

If. I don't know, I don't think there's a person for me to credit. But it's that quote of there's only two people you should be living for and it's your 8 year old self and your 80 year old self.

[Amy]

Ooh.

[Kat]

And if you can make both of those two people happy, then you're doing good.

[Amy]

Then most likely your present self will also be.

[Kat]

Yeah. So like that's who you should refer to. Like when you're thinking through like what you. What would 8 year old me think of this? Or is 80 year old me going to think this is the right thing to do? Yeah, like 80 year old me is thinking a lot about alcohol lately and White Russians. No, just like not drinking alcohol. 80 year old me is.

[Amy]

I hope when I'm 80 I'm still having a margarita every now and then.

[Kat]

Yeah, that would be great and all. I guess I'm just like, I. Yes. I just think my algorithm right now is showing me toxic things and maybe I need to get off that and just live in La la land and be like, oh, alcohol is totally fine in moderation. Yeah, they say that. But then Those that are adamantly against it.

[Amy]

They.

[Kat]

And they're doctors and they're building a case and they're like, there's no way to spin this. People like to do these studies and tell you, oh, well, this could be good for your heart and a gl of wine a day. And they're like, no, no. But then you hear people that live until they're 100 and it's like, what's your secret? And they're like bacon and beer.

[Amy]

Right. And also in Italy, they drink water. I mean, wine. Like, it's water, like, and they're relatively healthy.

[Kat]

Their, their food and wine, I think, is very different than America.

[Amy]

I'll be drinking wine from Italy when I'm 80.

[Kat]

Well, there you go. That's true.

[Amy]

I think your lifestyle probably has more to do with it. I don't want to fear Monger people until, like, you're not allowed to.

[Kat]

I guess. I' I'm not.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

I still am drinking a lot.

[Amy]

I'm just gonna prove it, right. I cool. I still drink.

[Kat]

Yeah, I will right now. Just not. Just not a White Russian ever, ever, ever again. Isn't that crazy to think, like, I've not had a white. I don't know exactly. What. Why would that. Well, because it's just like, that's a very definitive moment of a time where I remember having something and then never again.

[Amy]

Well, maybe you got something sick off of it and it's like you can never.

[Ad Voice 2]

I did.

[Kat]

And I don't. Also, just the memories from that night are so bad.

[Amy]

Yeah, that would.

[Kat]

Yeah, everything about that was so bad.

[Amy]

Where did you wake up? So bad.

[Kat]

I'm telling you, it's so bad.

[Amy]

Okay, I'm not.

[Kat]

Everything can talk about it later.

[Amy]

So bad.

[Kat]

Like I'm not ever having. Okay, a White Russian again. But yeah, I don't. You're right. I don't want to fear monger either. I guess it's just when I think of 80 or like I went to a stretch class for the first time ever. Like, like a week ago at like

[Amy]

a Pilates or just.

[Kat]

Oh, oh, where they stretch you. Yeah.

[Amy]

I've been wanting to do that for

[Kat]

an hour and I ended up getting a little three month membership because I want to stretch on my own and I know that I'm capable, but this is sort of like my kickstart. Like they're gonna like kickstart me and I'm doing that for 80 year old me. 8 year old me will probably be like, why are you spending money on that? This Is silly.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

But 80 year old me is like, thank you.

[Amy]

Yeah. Did it hurt? Because I've been wanting to.

[Kat]

No.

[Amy]

Okay. You're probably more flexible than me, though.

[Kat]

I'm actually not that flexible. I'm pretty. It's pretty bad.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

My hamstrings are so tight. And I learned too that my Achilles, who knew Are so tight. They have this video, like, camera that will take video of you squatting and you're kind of mimicking this cartoon person. And then it looks at, like how you're like your range of motion. And she was like, oh, what's going on with your ankles? Like, I don't know. I've never really thought about it. But my. When she was stretching my calves, my Achilles and my feet, like, I was like, oh, my gosh, this is so painful. And she's like, yeah, I think this is what was being picked up on the screen when you were doing the squats. But I just never pay attention to that part of my body. So I didn't know that it was little. Needed a little attention. Yeah.

[Amy]

I'll be scared to see what they say about me.

[Kat]

Yeah. So I'll say they give you a range of like, if you feel 1 to 10, and they're like, we want you to feel. Like we don't want you to feel a 10. Like, if it's anything. Yeah. Like, don't speak up because that's not. The goal is to be in pain and power through. It's to be still comfortable, but like making. And then you like, push against them and then release. And that'll hopefully allow you to push a little bit further. So you have to be active. Like, I kind of thought like sometimes when she kept asking me to push, I'm like, you're supposed to stretch me. This is work. Like. Yeah, I just want to lay here and you do it. But it did feel really good. I enjoyed it so much so that I'm letting you know, like, I got. I'll let you know after the three months how I feel.

[Amy]

I love that you just did three months and you didn't sign up for a whole year.

[Kat]

No. Why would I do that?

[Amy]

Well, you signed up for the whole year of Pilates.

[Kat]

Well, yeah, but that was a really good deal.

[Amy]

Yeah, right?

[Kat]

That was a really good deal. Best decision. And so far, the amount of classes that I've done, if you divide it by the amount of months I've been

[Amy]

going, like, saving money.

[Kat]

Yeah, yeah. Making money over here.

[Amy]

That is girl math. You're making money by going To Pilates, Making money. Yeah. Okay, well, maybe you've motivated me to go do something like that.

[Kat]

Or I could show you some of the stretches.

[Amy]

I'm not. This is my thing. I'm not gonna do them. I have stretches that I should be doing right now that a physical therapist has given me. I'm not going to do them unless I did them when I went to the physical therapist, but I can't. You know how you said that sometimes you'll lay on the floor and say you're going to stretch, but then you'll just lay on the floor? I won't even get on the floor. Okay.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

All right.

[Kat]

Well, after all that, I still don't know the quote.

[Amy]

Well, you know what? Maybe you'll think of it over the next week and we'll keep everybody on their toes and. And then you'll have it to start the next episode out.

[Kat]

If I think of it, I'm going to have to call you or text you. So we have it in writing. And I know what it is.

[Amy]

Text me then.

[Kat]

Because right now I've romanticized it, that it was like, oh, gonna be such a good quote. That's me life changing to the episode. People probably stopped listening after she said, no.

[Amy]

The quote, I don't want to listen.

[Kat]

Oh, it could have been so helpful. I just know it. But a quote that we do know, that is very helpful. But before we say it, I do want to give our email and our phone number. Do you know the phone number?

[Amy]

207. 207, 2777.

[Kat]

No.

[Amy]

That's close. 877-207-2077.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Okay. That was basically it.

[Kat]

So you can call and leave us a voicemail. 877-207-2077.

[Amy]

Sick.

[Kat]

Sick.

[Amy]

And then you can email us.

[Kat]

You can email us.

[Amy]

Feeling Things Podcast.

[Kat]

Hey, there. Hey, there. At Feeling Things Podcast.

[Amy]

I created the email.

[Kat]

I know. And then Kat also does our newsletters, too, which we have one going out next week. Next week? Yeah, Every other week. We don't spam you. Yeah, they're easy to digest. Ooh, if I think of the quote, we could throw it in the email letter.

[Amy]

Yes. Yes, yes. That's great. That's.

[Kat]

Yes, totally. So many people are gonna sign up now. They're gonna be like, we know.

[Amy]

We know how to put clickbait out there.

[Kat]

You're gonna want to know the quote that I may or may not come up with.

[Amy]

It will change your life. It will change even though we don't know what it is.

[Kat]

Life. Let's end on this. Before I share our ending quote that we say every episode. This also may or may not be life changing for some people, but do you ever sanitize your pillow that you sleep on in any way, shape or form?

[Amy]

I wash it.

[Kat]

Not your pillowcase, your pillow.

[Amy]

Oh. Oh, no.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

You're just trying to find other ways.

[Kat]

No, I'm not. Not shaking you.

[Amy]

No. Have you always sanitized?

[Kat]

No. I'm telling you something. I saw a little tip, a little tippy tip.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

And it makes sense. So at the orphanage where my kids lived, anytime you like, once a week, they would rotate all the mattresses and put them out in the sun, and they would just lay there all day in the sun and then be time to go to bed. They'd. They didn't have to really make the beds because the kids just slept on pretty much bare mattresses. So it wasn't that big of a deal to move all the mattresses outside and then they would let the sun sanitize it. So I saw. Similarly, we should be every so often, maybe every couple weeks or once a month, whatever's doable for you. Like, throw your pillows outside in the sun and let the sun sanitize them.

[Amy]

I wonder what that does sanitizes.

[Kat]

Well, well, because there's all kinds of little, like, mites.

[Amy]

Well, I'm wondering what this. Like, I'm just wanting to know the science of the sun sanitizing. Like baking off the mites. Ooh, gross. She hadn't put it in the dock.

[Kat]

Oh, we have it in the dock. Well, let me look it up.

[Amy]

I closed my dock.

[Kat]

I did, too, but it's okay. I know my password is 00000.

[Amy]

I don't like that you said there's mites in my pillow. Now I'm gonna be grossed out.

[Kat]

Oh, well, I'm not trying to gross you out. Okay. Placing pillows in sunlight once a week naturally sterilizes them with UV rays. Research shows that ultraviolet radiation kills dust mites, bacteria, and mold. Bonus, this gives you cleaner sleep and clearer skin.

[Amy]

Crazy. Okay, that's easy.

[Kat]

Oh, Shannon also put maybe some quotes in here that she thinks might be the quote that I was trying to say.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

We train people how to treat us. Okay, we talked about that one.

[Amy]

You.

[Kat]

You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce. It definitely was not that many words.

[Amy]

What you reap is what you sow.

[Kat]

No, it wasn't that. People treat you the way you allow them to treat you. Nope. The way you believe about and treat yourself sets the standard for others on how you demand to be treated. Nope. Dang. One day you are what you eat. Yeah. Then I'm a thin men.

[Amy]

Right about your Russian.

[Kat]

I'm not a White Russian anymore because, gosh, how many years has that been?

[Amy]

I'm an orange. I cannot stop eating oranges right now.

[Kat]

You definitely are an orange.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

And I'm a thin mint.

[Amy]

I don't. Wait, you're. What was the hack you had the other day? You put the yasso in the thin mint. Is that you?

[Kat]

Yes, I had. I'm out. So I say had. I had some yaso mint chocolate chip,

[Amy]

which is my favorite one.

[Kat]

What are they? Greek yogurt, popsicles or whatever. Ice cream popsicles. So it was a popsicle. So what I did was I opened it up. I didn't even eat the whole popsicle. I kind of cut it in half and put it in the freezer for next time. And then from that I made. I got thin mints and I made miniature little ice cream sandwiches. Thin mint with mint ice cream in the middle.

[Amy]

That was probably. I don't even like thin mints. That probably was really good.

[Kat]

Oh, it was.

[Amy]

Because I love mint ice cream.

[Kat]

What does Bethany Frankel say? Davoon. Do you follow her?

[Amy]

No, I. Not the biggest. No, no, I'm not.

[Kat]

I'm not. I don't know that I am either. But she does say devoon.

[Amy]

I don't know what that means.

[Kat]

Like divine.

[Amy]

Oh, Davoon. Is that like just her fun way of saying it or is that a different language?

[Kat]

Or is that like her crown?

[Amy]

She thinks she's saying it right?

[Kat]

No, I don't know. Okay, well, we hope wherever you are, you're having the day you need to have. Bye.

[Amy]

Bye.

[Kat]

We spend so much of our lives switched on. Scrolling, multitasking, reacting. Miraval Resorts is an invitation to unplug and be present. For over 30 years, Miraval has been a global leader in mindfulness and well being, helping people reconnect to what matters, body, mind and spirit through meditation, yoga, time in nature, equine experiences and moments designed for true presence. Miraval offers practical tools you can carry into everyday life. Miraval meets you where you are and supports wellness that actually lasts. Discover More by visiting miravalresorts.com

[Amy]

your body

[Ad Voice 2]

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[Amy]

at CVS it matters that we're not just in your community, but that we're part of it. It matters that we're here for you when you need us, day or night, and we want everyone to feel welcomed and rewarded. It matters that CVS is here to fill your prescriptions and here to fill your craving for a tasty and yeah, healthy snack. At cvs, we're proud to serve your community because we believe where you get your medicine matters. So Visit [e-mail] or just come by our store. We can't wait to meet you. Store hours vary by location.

[Kat]

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[Amy]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.