FEELING THINGS - Weird Things People Do That Are In Love, The 10-Minute Tan & More

Summary

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The Bobby Bones Show – Feeling Things: Weird Things People Do When They're In Love, The 10-Minute Tan & More

Hosts: Amy & Kat
Date: May 29, 2026
Podcast Feed: The Bobby Bones Show

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Episode Overview

This episode of "Feeling Things" with Amy and Kat dives into everyday oddities, warm listener connections, beauty hacks, and hilarious reflections on relationship quirks. Topics range from the evolution of self-tanner routines and sunscreen recommendations, to deep dives into home renovation patience and the surprisingly universal curiosity about what couples really do when they're in love—yes, including fart walks. Through candid stories, listener exchanges, and laughter-filled tangents, Amy and Kat offer a mix of relatable advice and comic vulnerability.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Sunscreen & Self-Tanner: Listener Advice and Beauty Experiments

Timestamps: 02:36 – 08:18

• Listener Engagement: Kat expresses gratitude for the many sunscreen recommendations she received following recent episodes.

  "So many people have either emailed us or sent us voicemails or DM'd me recommendations for sunscreen, and now I kind of have too many options." (Kat, 02:45)

• Product Chat: Kat ordered Color Science Body Sunscreen (tinted, recommended by a male listener) and discusses preferences for tinted vs. non-tinted products and their risk of rubbing off on clothing.
• Email Chaos: The hosts laugh about their system (or lack thereof) for managing emails, especially after mean listener feedback.

  "But I do. Yeah. I am grateful for everybody who has cared. So I didn't think people would care this much about my sunscreen journey. And they have." (Kat, 06:04)

• The 10-Minute Tan: Amy shares her experience with the Loving Tan 10 Minute Express Mask—application, development time, and glowing results without staining sheets or clothes:

  "You put it on for 10 minutes... after you rinse off, but you cannot use soap... and then the tan continues to develop for 24 hours." (Amy, 07:05)

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2. Patience (or Not) in Home Renovations

Timestamps: 09:19 – 13:48

• Big News: Kat celebrates finally scheduling new floors after months of waiting, admitting impatience and the challenges of home improvement timelines.
• Lessons Learned: Amy reflects on making rushed renovation decisions in the past and now advocates for patience—especially in decorating spaces like bathrooms and laundry rooms.
• Decor Fails and Wins: An anecdote about her daughter's aquatic-themed bathroom, lessons on tile choices, and the virtues of "command strips" for hanging art on tiled walls.

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3. Dumpster Diving & Extreme Couponing

Timestamps: 15:33 – 21:24

• Dumpster Diving Trends: Both hosts notice a surge in social media around “dumpster diving” for finds at stores like Home Goods, Anthropologie, and Aldi.
• Personal Stories: Amy recounts her short-lived phase as an "extreme couponer," including actual dives for newspapers in recycling dumpsters:

  "I got in the dumpster and I would get coupons... I never became an extreme couponer. The time I was having to put in to save all this money was too much." (Amy, 17:40, 17:54)

• Tips for Beginners: They review suggested strategies: go on Sundays (before Monday trash pickup), be selective, beware of glass, and leave treasures for others.

  "Be careful of broken glass when you're in there and always leave some cool items behind for your fellow divers." (Amy, 20:08)

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4. Listener Letters: Baby Names & Canyon Ranch Dreams

Timestamps: 26:11 – 28:59

• Baby Naming Advice: Susan from Austin encourages Kat to consider using her maiden name, Dafada, as her baby’s middle name. Kat and Amy debate which last names work as given names (spoiler: Dafada doesn’t quite fit).

  "Some people's, like, last names are like... like my mom's... Her maiden name was Christopher. That would work." (Amy, 27:06)

• Listener Love: Susan’s long, heartfelt email celebrates the show’s honesty, humor, and warmth. She pitches a girls' trip to Canyon Ranch Tucson, which excites both hosts.
• Acknowledging Feedback: They reflect on the awkwardness of reading praise versus the reality of negative feedback:

  “If we're not playing your voicemail, it's not because we don't like it. Sometimes we feel uncomfortable playing praise.” (Kat, 29:12)

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5. Handling Negative Comments: "Take Out the Trash"

Timestamps: 29:40 – 33:43

• Social Media Coping: Amy recounts Brittany Kellogg's method of reading and correcting mean Instagram comments while wheeling out her trash—turning criticism into comedy.

  "She’s like, popping up on the screen like she's a teacher editing someone’s paper." (Amy, 31:20)

• Debate: Kat is hesitant to retaliate against trolls, preferring to delete and move on.

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6. Relationship Quirks: Weird & Endearing Things Couples Do

Timestamps: 33:43 – 54:57

"Weird Things People in Love Do and Why" (Article Review Starts at 45:46)

• Catalyst: Kat revisits a list her husband Patrick sent—odd behaviors that signal true intimacy.

• Cute Aggression: Biting

  • Kat admits to playfully biting Patrick out of affection, described as "cute aggression," a playful outlet for overwhelming positive emotions.

    "I bite him... Like, I just want to bite his arm or his hand." (Kat, 45:58)

• Baby Talk: Neither Amy nor Kat uses it much, but they acknowledge its role in signaling emotional safety.

• Sniffing: Kat loves her husband's natural scent and claims it brings her comfort, even if he doesn't reciprocate.

  "He refuses to wear cologne, actually... I like the smell of, like, his skin. I sound like a serial killer." (Kat, 48:22)

• Playful Teasing/Oversimulation: Discussing tickling and the fine line between playfulness and discomfort.

  "I do not like being tickled. I do not... I feel like I want to murder you if you don't stop." (Amy, 49:50)

• Passing Gas/Farting in Relationships: The great divide!

  • Amy has never (intentionally) farted in front of a romantic partner and wonders what makes this barrier so persistent.
  • Kat (and many listeners) see openness around bodily functions as a sign of comfort and trust; Amy wants to reach that level, too.

    “Amy's dating profile is like, what are you looking for? Someone I can fart in front of?" (Kat, 37:53) "When people feel completely comfortable with someone, they stop worrying about small social embarrassments like farting. Psychologists often see this as a sign of deep familiarity and trust in a relationship." (Kat, 51:06)

• Cultural Conditioning & Generational Shifts:

  • How manners, gender expectations, and family upbringing influence comfort with intimacy and bodily functions.
  • Women, in particular, are conditioned to conceal these things, as explored through literary reference and personal anecdotes.
  • Curiosity about how grandparents and past generations navigated these issues.

  “When did manners start categorizing certain things? ...Things are only weird to us because they're not normal to us, but in other cultures, those things..." (Kat, 54:04)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Inbox Management...
  "We need a new system for our emails because I never saw that one...and then also you’ve been doing that thing where if I get a mean email, you delete it." (Amy, 04:54)

• On Home Renovation Lessons...
  "If I had been more patient and wasn’t making so many decisions at once, I think I would have made different decisions." (Amy, 13:13)

• On Modern Dumpster Diving...
  "I documented it. I took video...I never became an extreme couponer. The time I was having to put in to save all this money was too much." (Amy, 17:02, 17:40)

• On Relationship Comfort Levels...
  "I want to be in a relationship where maybe we do that, but I don't know how...How do you find somebody like that?" (Amy, 37:43)

• Calling Listeners to Action...
  "Let us know your feelings on this topic...Do you? Do you not? Why? Why not?" (Kat & Amy, 40:30)

• On Societal Double Standards...
  "It's so normal. But...if girls say it, then they're labeled as bad words." (Kat, 56:45)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Listener Sunscreen Feedback – 02:36
• Self-Tanner Review – 06:30
• Home Renovation Patience – 09:19
• Dumpster Diving Trend – 15:33
• Listener Email: Baby Names & Vacation Destinations – 26:11
• Handling Negative Comments – 29:40
• Weird Things Couples Do – 45:46
• Relationship "Fart Walk" & Generational Differences – 37:16, 54:04

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Summary Notes

• Tone: Warm, informal, self-deprecating, playful honesty.
• Guest Voices: None (beyond emails and voicemails)
• Interactive Calls: The hosts invite listeners to call (877-207-2077), email ([e-mail]), or DM on Instagram (@FeelingThingsPodcast), especially to weigh in on relationship quirks discussed.

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Takeaways

"Feeling Things" finds heartfelt, comic, and thought-provoking meaning in the small (and sometimes taboo) habits that make us human—whether it’s choosing the right sunscreen, changing floors, sneaking a sniff of your partner, or talking about the ultimate sign of comfort in love: fart walks. Tune in for genuine chemistry, reflections that dig beneath the surface, and homework assignments you’ll actually enjoy.

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If you enjoyed these topics or have something to add (especially on relationship quirks!), reach out to Amy and Kat by voicemail, email, or Instagram DMs.

Transcript

[Kat]

This is an Iheart podcast. Guaranteed human.

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[Amazon Advertiser]

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[Kat]

Wasn't that delicious? So good.

[Wells Fargo Advertiser]

Your bill, ladies.

[Kat]

I got it. No, I got it. Seriously, I insist.

[Amy]

I assist.

[Kat]

Don't be silly. You don't be silly.

[Wells Fargo Advertiser]

People with the Wells Fargo Active Cash credit card prefer to pay because they earn unlimited 2% cash rewards on purchases.

[Kat]

Okay. Rock, paper, scissors for it. Rock, paper, scissors. Shoot. No.

[Wells Fargo Advertiser]

The Wells Fargo Active Cash credit card. Visit Wells Fargo.com ActiveCash Terms apply.

[Autotrader Advertiser]

Are you really buying a car online on autotrader right now?

[Kat]

Really?

[Autotrader Advertiser]

At a playground?

[Amy]

Yeah. Really? Look at these listings from dealers.

[Autotrader Advertiser]

Wow, your search can really get that specific.

[Amy]

Really?

[Autotrader Advertiser]

And you just put in your info and boom, Car's in your budget.

[Amy]

Mom needs a second.

[Autotrader Advertiser]

Honey, you can really have it delivered.

[Amy]

Really? Or I can pick it up at the dealership. One sec, sweetie. Mommy's buying a car. Mommy's.

[Autotrader Advertiser]

I think your kid is walking up the slide.

[Amy]

Kyle. Again? Really? Auto trader? Buy your car online. Really?

[Feeling Things Intro Narrator]

One, two, three.

[Kat]

Hey.

[Feeling Things Intro Narrator]

All right. Break it down. If you ever have feelings and you just want some, maybe a cat got you covered like a numb brother. Ladies and fellas, we just follow in the spirit where it tell us from the real stuff to the chill Stu and the in between. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just stop and feel things. This is Feeling Things with Amy and Kat.

[Amy]

Happy Tuesday. Welcome to Feeling Things. I'm Amy.

[Kat]

And I'm Kat. And today I'm feeling what you felt last week.

[Amy]

Oh, grateful.

[Kat]

Grateful for two things. One, so many people have either emailed us or sent us voicemails or DM'd me recommendations for sunscreen, and now I kind of have too many options. But I did order one Color Science Body Sunscreen. A little More than I wanted to pay.

[Amy]

So they have a body one. Because I have used the color science on my face, and it breaks me out. But that's my face. Like, your body should be totally fine. Because I. In fact, the face stuff I've saved, it's just tinted, so it's weird. But I'll put it on my chest,

[Kat]

and it doesn't break your chest out. Well, I've had friends recommend color science makeup, and they love it.

[Amy]

Yeah, no, I know a lot of people love it. Okay. It's just. I don't know what it. What it is in there that does not go well with my face. But every single time, I try to give it another go because I bought it in two different shades, and it's kind of expensive. It's. Yeah. So I still have it. And occasionally I'll be like, you know what? I'm gonna give this one another. Go wash my face. Sure enough, a new pimple pops up, and I'm like, dang. So there's just something in there that's just not good for your face. For me. But it. My chest, it's fine.

[Kat]

So it's for your body.

[Amy]

What you got is for the body. So it's not like the face stuff that's tinted?

[Kat]

No, but it is tinted. So this actually came from a male listener.

[Amy]

So is it going to rub off on your clothes?

[Kat]

I did think about that.

[Amy]

Okay, you did or you didn't?

[Kat]

I did.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

But I mostly will be wearing it with a bathing suit, so it's fine. So I think it'll be fine.

[Amy]

And so a man sent you a tinted sunscreen.

[Kat]

He. He emailed us.

[Amy]

Oh, that's so nice.

[Kat]

He. And he sent a picture. His friend came to the live. We did in Franklin. He sent a picture of his friends with you.

[Amy]

Oh, really?

[Kat]

He was like, they. They wanted to meet you too, Cat, but you were getting engaged, so. But yeah, he said that his dermatologist, I think, recommended this.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

And I kind of like that it's tinted because mineral sunscreen. One of the issues is it. It's leaves that white residue, and you look really pale. So I was thinking that would fix that problem. But I also hear the closed situation. We'll see how it goes.

[Amy]

Okay. We need a new system for our emails because I never saw that one. But I went into our emails the other day, and I was trying to catch up on emails, and I think now we have a system. Like, if you open it at a different time and then it's red, then. Then I Don't see it. And then also you've been doing that thing where if I get a mean email, you delete it.

[Kat]

I only did it one time.

[Amy]

Okay, I know you only did it once. We do have an update on that because we did talk about it and I think that same person is the same person, right?

[Autotrader Advertiser]

Yes.

[Amy]

Sent another email. When I read it, I didn't know it was the same person because you would have deleted the original. But I'm confirming with you it's the same person. So she's clarifying because we were discussing whether or not you were a narcissist, which you're not, but someone was trying to say that you were. And she made it clear in the email, Kat is not a narcissist but she is controlling. And she did not like the fact that you deleted the email that she wrote constructive towards me.

[Kat]

I didn't permanently delete it.

[Amy]

Seems sort of like she wasn't a fan of me in email number one. But then email number two, she kind of had my back.

[Kat]

So I wonder what happened in email number three.

[Amy]

I don't know.

[Kat]

But this email came today. I think that's why you didn't read it.

[Amy]

Oh, the sunscreen one.

[Kat]

But we do need a better system that if I read them I should

[Amy]

leave them or if I read them.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

I go back. We need to mark it somehow.

[Kat]

Yeah. Like flag it. Yeah, like if you flag it, that means that so and so read it. But so and so. Okay, we'll figure it out. But I do. Yeah. I am grateful for everybody who has cared. So I didn't think people would care this much about my sunscreen journey. And they have.

[Amy]

People are passionate about the sunscreen and

[Kat]

if this one doesn't work out, I have a couple other wrecks to go through. And the tips that we read last week, I think they've helped.

[Amy]

They've helped.

[Kat]

Yep.

[Amy]

Can you tell that I'm more tan?

[Kat]

Speaking of, I can tell you're more tan because you told me you got a spray tan.

[Autotrader Advertiser]

So my nose?

[Amy]

No, I self tanned myself.

[Kat]

Oh, yeah, you were.

[Amy]

Do you smell me?

[Kat]

No.

[Amy]

Oh, I thought you said my nose.

[Kat]

I said I know.

[Amy]

Oh, I thought you first because you

[Kat]

told me you had self tanner on.

[Amy]

I thought you were like my nose.

[Kat]

Yeah. Smells it smelling from over here?

[Amy]

Because I can smell it. But I did the new loving tan 10 minute express mask. Have you heard of it? Okay, so you put it on for 10 minutes and it does feel like this smooth mask on your skin.

[Kat]

Well, then why do you smell.

[Amy]

Well, hold on, I'm gonna tell you. Tell you the rest. So you put it on for 10 minutes. So I did it last night. And then after the 10 minutes you rinse off, but you cannot use soap and you rinse off the tan. So that way when you get in bed, it doesn't get on your sheets or anything. And then the tan continues to develop for 24 hours. I haven't hit the 24 hour mark and then I'm not gonna wait the full 24. But probably when we get done recording, I'm gonna go take a shower and use soap because I've had enough. Because it's developing and the smell is developing. But I feel like it looks like real kind of nice. Yeah. And I'm liking it. Not. I have no deal with them, but shout out.

[Kat]

That's a good solution to the. You know, I never know when to do the tan because then. Yeah, if you're going to sleep and this gets all over your clothes and. And then you have to take a shower and how early do you have to wake up? So that's a good solution except I just wouldn't want to have to wait 24 hours. But it sounds like you don't have to.

[Amy]

Well, you rinse off after the 10 and you have to wait 24 to use soap. But I'm going to go ahead and probably use Soap at around 16 hour mark. I think I'm developing. I can tell by the color. I'm like, we can stop developing now.

[Kat]

Yeah, we're good. How do you. I probably asked you this before. How do you get your back?

[Amy]

Oh, just contortion myself.

[Kat]

So you get like.

[Amy]

Okay, I put my arm in weird positions and I switch the glove from my left hand to my right hand and I go above.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

I go under. I go from the side. I just try to get it as good as I can. When I was married, I had help.

[Kat]

Yeah. I one time tried to tape the ma.

[Autotrader Advertiser]

The.

[Kat]

What's it called?

[Amy]

The mitt.

[Kat]

The mitt to like a baton or something.

[Amy]

A ruler.

[Kat]

It was something. And it didn't work.

[Amy]

A spatula.

[Kat]

Yes. Yeah, it didn't work.

[Amy]

They make things like that, I think.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

That you could. But I mean it's a lot of. It's a lot of work. Yeah. If you have. You have a partner.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Patrick can.

[Kat]

He can do my back.

[Amy]

Do your back. But you're probably not self tanning right now because you're pregnant.

[Kat]

Yeah. I think there are some that I could use that are non toxic. But I hate self tanning, so I'm only going to do it if I really need it.

[Amy]

Well, that's part of my feeling. Like I. My feeling of the day. Which did you say you had?

[Kat]

2.

[Amy]

Because you said grateful or you were grateful for two reasons.

[Kat]

My other thing is not that big of a deal. We're just finally getting our new floors in our house. Oh, and it finally got scheduled like happening next week. Yay.

[Amy]

Yeah, I know you're excited about that.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Good. Patience.

[Kat]

Yeah, it's been like three months, which is not that long, but when. What you.

[Amy]

I feel like it's been longer.

[Kat]

Well, we've wanted them since we moved in. Exactly the process. Like three months ago, so.

[Amy]

But when you moved in was how long ago?

[Kat]

It was September.

[Amy]

Okay, that's patience.

[Kat]

Because I hated the floors.

[Amy]

Don't have that patience. Like I'm like, do it now. Like I was trying to move in while I was getting my floors done.

[Kat]

You moved in and you changed everything. I'm like you. It takes. That stuff overwhelms me. So I have to do one thing at a time. So I waited. But yeah, now.

[Amy]

Well, no, I think you're way. I wish I would have waited, especially like I look at the game room bathroom or my laundry room floor. If I had been more patient and wasn't making so many decisions at once, I think I would have made different decisions and there was no reason to rush those spaces. So my advice would be. Yeah, patience and yeah, just wait.

[Kat]

What did you. What did your daughter say about the guest bathroom walls?

[Amy]

Oh, why?

[Kat]

I remember them.

[Amy]

What she said upstairs. Oh, hers. Oh, she said, I love their bathroom. I probably would have done that a little different too, to be honest though. But I do like it. As she said, it's like an aquatic bathroom. Like a.

[Kat]

Like an aquatic center at a pool. But it's just cuz it's tiled. But it's pretty tile.

[Amy]

I tiled the whole thing. So the floor has tile, but then the bathtub has tile. But I brought the bathtub tile around. I wrapped the entire bathroom in this green square tile. It does look. No, square. I was debating between the rectangle and the square, but I ended up going with square, which is probably a little more aquatic, A little more like swim center.

[Kat]

I probably wouldn't have thought that unless you told me she said that, you

[Amy]

know, and I'm like, how many swim locker rooms have you?

[Kat]

Like one. And it looked just like that.

[Amy]

Apparently she was at her swim lessons at the YMCA or something, which I hung some Art room. Art room. I put. I hung some artwork up in the bathroom there, which has really helped break it up. Break up the tile because there is a lot of it. But I had three pieces of art that I wanted to hang for a long time. And I used those command strips. Yeah, easy peasy.

[Kat]

Done.

[Amy]

Stuck them right up there. Because you can't necessarily.

[Kat]

Was going to say drilling.

[Amy]

You can drill because they drilled the light hole, the light fixtures and all of that into the.

[Kat]

But then you can't really fix that.

[Amy]

Right.

[Kat]

Like you can't patch that hole up.

[Amy]

Right. So command strips are the way to go on that. So good. Patience is good. Cuz I would have done black and white check tile in my laundry room,

[Kat]

like on the floor.

[Amy]

That's what I want to do. And trust me, it's taken this other tile that my sister had in. Okay. I always loved. My sister's upstairs bathroom at her house has this one particular tile and I've always loved it. And it's black with white lines. Well, when I was tile shopping, I came upon that tile, but the opposite white with black lines. So it's not even the same. It's the same tile, but different color combo. So it doesn't even have the same vibe.

[Kat]

Didn't do it for you.

[Amy]

But I had such an attachment of like, ooh, this is the same tile that my sister has in her upstairs bathroom. Bathroom that I love. So I was like, I'm just gonna go for it because obviously it'll look good. Well, it got installed and I was like, wait. Also, this is not the vibe of my house. Like I didn't think it through. Which goes back to my point of us. I was making too many decisions. Yeah. At once. To where I wasn't fully thinking it through. And I think, had I just been patient, my laundry room would have the black and white check tile and it would look so cute. I want to have the door open and be like, look into my laundry room.

[Kat]

Yeah. But you can change it one day.

[Amy]

I got a quote.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

And it would be so stupid to.

[Kat]

Oh. Because it's like a lot of money to redo it.

[Amy]

Yeah. Yeah. So I thought, well, maybe I redo it or I could at least handle the demo.

[Kat]

Okay. Can you though? Because we were going to do. Yeah, no, I meant that seriously. Because we were going to do the demo of our floors and I thought my dad was going to help. And then he came over the other day because I was having trouble installing my ring doorbell. I tried to do it myself and he Was like, I can't help you pull these up. I'm too old now. Which my dad always just. That's what. He just does the home improvement things. He said he could pull the carpet up, but the wood floor, it's like in the tile. It's like too much like laborists work. And he was. He said, I can't do it because I'm pregnant. So that would just leave Patrick to do it himself. Which that's kind of sad. And I honestly, I don't know if I trust that. No. No shade to you, Patrick. So now we're gonna have to pay somebody to do it.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Which the demo is. Right.

[Amy]

That's why I was like, well, maybe I'll take care of the demo and then I can get. It's not that much tile. The square footage of the laundry room is tiny. So really, it's not like a super crazy investment. It just seems like, like. But. But I'm about to hit the two year mark, so I sort of was like, trying to justify it. Like, I've already been here two years.

[Kat]

That's nuts.

[Amy]

Is it crazy to change a laundry room floor after two years? Yes. But can I be crazy? Yes.

[Kat]

As long as you are careful and you're protecting yourself. You probably could do the demo.

[Amy]

Yeah. You mean like goggles?

[Kat]

Yeah, yeah. And like gloves and closed toed shoes.

[Amy]

Right. Well, speaking of my feeling of the day, mine just. It organically has to do with my tan because I'm just. I feel happy. Like it gives me summer happy vibes. And I was. I actually did the tan so that I could come hang out with you at the lake. And then it's raining, so now I'm not.

[Kat]

Yeah. What is up with that? Every. I feel like every Memorial Day. It was rain last time too.

[Amy]

I know. So wampum. But I still love that I took the 10 minutes to do my express and I'm glad you can't smell me. Yeah, I really thought you were saying my nose. My nose can smell it now. Speaking of home decor, when I mentioned this to you, you said that it's been showing up in your feed too. So I don't know what's going on with this, but it's having a moment of the people Dumpster diving at Home Goods and other places. And you know that I used to go dig in dumpsters for coupons. I bet you didn't. No, that was a different. That was a different era for me is when I lived in North Carolina when Ben was in the Air Force and I didn't really know anybody. And I went to the dumpsters. I would see people talk about how they would go get newspapers, stuff out of the dumpsters and they would get all these coupons, and then they would take their binder full of coupons to the grocery store and they would save so much money. So I was trying to become a couponer. Like, these people were making it seem we could be.

[Kat]

You know, there was a show, like extreme couponing or something.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Where people would do.

[Amy]

There was that. Or I was seeing stuff online.

[Kat]

I don't know that I saw people going through people's trash.

[Amy]

No dumpsters. You go dumpster diving, you got. Not people. Not like your neighbor's trash.

[Kat]

I know, but that's still somebody's trash. Where did. What did you get in the dumpster?

[Amy]

I got in the dumpster. I documented you guys. I documented it. I took video. Do you still have it somewhere? Wait, for the Bobby Bone Show.

[Kat]

I was gonna say, is this for the show or is like, you just did this?

[Amy]

I mean, I'm sure part of me was like, okay, I can talk about this because I was trying to live out what we were seeing. Like, I'm sure how it happened if I just can't remember exactly, but if I had to guess, it's like we probably talked about it on the show and then I started seeing more of it. Or I was watching these couponers or on Twitter. Like, I don't. I don't even know because the year was 2010. Like, I don't even think we had Instagram yet, but we did have Twitter and we did have television.

[Kat]

So you got in and we didn't have the Internet.

[Amy]

I got in the dumpster and I would get coupons and I would use the coupons. And I never became an extreme couponer. Like it to me, I never had the time that I was having to put in to save all this money was too much.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

And I moved on. But it was a short. It was a hobby. Short lived, but it was a hobby nonetheless.

[Kat]

I just can't believe you got in. What dumpster did you choose?

[Amy]

Well, you can. They have ones that are predominantly paper. Newspaper. Okay, so then, you know, you're going in, and that's where all the coupons are.

[Kat]

You're not going, like, behind a restaurant.

[Amy]

Correct. Okay, yeah. So I'm not disgusting.

[Kat]

It's still a dumpster.

[Amy]

Okay, well, speaking of dumpsters, Dumpster diving behind home goods keeps popping up. Like, all these people are having all these things for Example, I documented one video that I saw some of the free things that this mom and her daughter found behind a home goods. They got baking pans, baking dishes, dish towels with the tags on them, obviously. Yeah. But I was like, those are kind of cute. Ceramic vases, mugs, area rugs, fleece blankets, plastic organizer, bins, metal rolling pins, bathroom soap dispenser, modern toilet brush holder.

[Kat]

So I've seen videos. The one that caught my eye first because I saw a home goods one was anthropology. This girl went to a dumpster behind anthropology and she got tons of like dishware. Like, really? You know how they always have like cute cups and glasses? Tons of glasses. Tons of like cocktail glasses, marble charcuterie boards, like a bowl that would retailed for like $200. Like crazy stuff. And they just. I don't know.

[Amy]

I don't know why they're just putting it in the dumpster.

[Kat]

I wonder why they can't donate it.

[Amy]

Right?

[Kat]

Or at least like. Well, I guess if you work there, you're doing this all the time. So eventually people are like, I don't want anymore, but give it to the employees or something. Why does it have to be thrown away?

[Amy]

I don't know.

[Kat]

And how do we figure out the schedule?

[Amy]

Okay, well, I pulled tips from this. I don't know if it's a different post or this same one, but they said they checked dumpster dumpsters on Sundays. Most likely their trash pickup day is Monday. So the dumpster is going to be full of things on Sunday. If you don't need it, don't get it. Don't just get it. Because like, oh, this is free. I'm going to take it. Because then now you're. You're going to end up with junk that you don't want.

[Kat]

That's fair.

[Amy]

Be careful of broken glass when you're in there and always leave some cool items behind for your fellow divers. That's cute. They went to also Target Five Below and Aldi.

[Kat]

Well, Aldi's a grocery store. Do you think that.

[Amy]

But they have. I went to Aldi the other day. Did I tell you I went there for the first time? Right. Were we talking about that? And they have a whole home goods section. Okay. Like, it's not big. Hopefully they don't. There was a few rows of, you know, dishes and towels and little things like that.

[Kat]

So should we try this?

[Amy]

I don't know. We could try. I mean, there's that home goods near us. We could go.

[Kat]

Do you. Oh, that's a good one.

[Amy]

But I Kind of want to go to anthropology now that you've seen that.

[Kat]

So I would want to go after the store closes because what if we're like out in the dumpster and like an employee comes down?

[Amy]

Oh, for sure. Like if you're checking it on Sunday, do it Sunday before church.

[Kat]

Oh, in the morning. Okay. I was thinking before they open.

[Amy]

Oh, you want to go in the dark?

[Kat]

Well, what if they throw it out at. Well, no, things close early on Sundays. But what if they throw things out on Sunday? Cuz Monday is trash day. We need to go Sunday night valid and. And yeah, yeah. So Sunday night we'll get in the dumpster. Okay.

[Amy]

Okay. Kat and I are going to try this out for y'. All. If y' all have ever done this at any of these stores or you have a store to recommend. And this is truly legit because I do feel like there's a lot of videos popping up and it's like, this is for real. This is AI.

[Kat]

It could be for real, but it might not be every week. I wonder if there's like. But I still also, I want to talk to employee of the store that does this because why can't you donate it?

[Amy]

Yeah, like why are you not donating?

[Kat]

If you guys work at a store that does something like this, let us know. Like what? There has to be some rule that tells them that they can't do it. Like they wouldn't just throw. Right?

[Amy]

I don't know.

[Kat]

Let us know if you have information.

[Amy]

Fellow dumpster divers, report to us. Please report back.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Lately I have been more intentional about what I wear day to day. Leaning into pieces that feel effortless, comfortable and still put together. It just makes getting dressed simpler. Quint is my go to for this. They make it easy to refresh your everyday this spring with pieces that feel as good as they look. Now let me tell you what I did. I went to quince.com when I was shopping for some spring things. I clicked on the women tab and then I went over to the spring edit and I ordered a 100% European linen ladder stitch midi dress. I got it in the moonstone blue and it's going to be perfect for spring and summer. They've got dresses and tops that start at $30. They're effortless, breathable, and easy to wear on repeat, which I love. In addition to the spring edit, you'll also see the vacation edit where they'll have great pieces. If you've got a trip coming up this summer, you can get ahead, get prepared and actually Invest in pieces that you'll be able to wear years to come. Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to quince.com amy for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q U I N C E.com amy for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com amy I don't know about you, but for me it's the time of year where I start looking at my patio and I'm going to make sure it's good to go for me to hang out outside and your outdoor space should feel like you. I used Wayfair to spruce up my space and the string lights that I got from Wayfair, they are so cute. String lights, honestly are the way to go if you're just looking for a little pop to your patio. I also ordered these brown wicker chairs with white cushions. They have changed the vibe. It's where I like to sit in the mornings with my coffee. They have every style for every outdoor space. Whether your vibe is modern, coastal, farmhouse or eclectic, Wayfair has options to help you create. Create an outdoor space that is uniquely yours. It's easy to find what you need. Just search it up. There's reviews, there's filters, visual tools and you can buy everything you need all in one place. Outdoor seating, grills, major appliances, storage, patio lighting, rugs, decor. Wayfair is your one stop. Shop for your home. Get prepped for patio season. For way less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com Wayfair Every style, Every home. Wayfair, Every Style, Every Home.

[Autotrader Advertiser]

Are you really buying a car online on Autotrader right now?

[Kat]

Really?

[Autotrader Advertiser]

At a playground?

[Amy]

Yeah, really. Look at these listings from dealers.

[Autotrader Advertiser]

Wow, your search can really get that specific.

[Amy]

Really?

[Autotrader Advertiser]

And you just put in your info and boom. Car's in your budget.

[Amy]

Mom needs a second.

[Autotrader Advertiser]

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[Amy]

Really? Or I can pick it up at the dealership. One sec sweetie. Mommy's buying a car.

[Kat]

Mommy, look.

[Autotrader Advertiser]

I think your kid is walking up the slide.

[Amy]

Kyle. Again? Really? Autotrader? Buy your car online? Really?

[Bowen Yang]

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[Amy]

We got an email. This is from Susan. Hey, Amy. And Kat. This is Susan from Austin, age 61. I'm a longtime listener of the Bobby Bones show, four things, fifth thing, and now an avid listener of the Feeling Things podcast. First, congratulations to Kat on your pregnancy. A quick thought I wanted to share. Have you ever considered using your former last name, Dafada, as the baby's middle name? I did that with my son, and I've always been so glad he carries my original last name. He loves having that connection, too. Before we continue with her email, I'll just say, I don't think that that's gonna work for you. For you. Do you think

[Kat]

I was having the same thought as you? Okay. Yeah. Okay. Is not as some people's, like, last names are like, like my, my mom's. Her.

[Amy]

Her maiden name was Christopher.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

That would, that would work.

[Kat]

Or sometimes people have like, cool last names, like Wit or something like that. Like, not for a girl, but, like, I can see that as a middle name for a guy for sure. Or a first name. Dafada is just sounds like last name. So it's just like I'm giving her two last names.

[Amy]

And then also your last name now is Van Buren. So it's a lot of Death and Van Bure.

[Kat]

Yeah, it's a lot. But I do like the tip. It just doesn't work for me.

[Amy]

Yeah, but for somebody else, it might work. So that's a good thing to keep in mind. Okay, back to her email. I often think about writing in and then life gets busy. But I wanted to reach out because my main impulse is simply to encourage you both to say how much I appreciate the vulnerability, honesty, humor, and joy you bring to the podcast.

[Kat]

You.

[Amy]

You two are wonderful together. Amy, I heard the Tell Me Something Good segment on the Bobby Bones show about your summer vacation. Ideas. And I have to say, yay for Canyon Ranch Tucson with Kat. I truly think you would both have an incredible time there. I've been fortunate to visit Canyon Ranch many times since it first opened, and it can be such a healing, fun, curiosity, inspiring experience. In fact, it was during a stay there several years ago that I got the inspiration to write my book about art journaling. I since then, I have even had the opportunity to speak there about the book. And I sent Kat a copy when she was creating art and having fun with it. I guess I'm writing to say that I absolutely love the idea of the two of you going together. It feels like exactly the kind of place that enhances life, sparks reflection and joy, and creates meaningful memories. Love the podcast and cheering you both on warmly. Susan.

[Kat]

That is cool. She's gone and spoken there.

[Amy]

I remember when she sent you that book. Yeah, and that's okay.

[Kat]

They're at my office on my bookshelf for people to use now. Thanks for the tip. Probably the name part. Yeah. And thanks for being so kind.

[Amy]

I know we got some nice voicemails. Sometimes those feel awkward to play, but it's just cool to get a voicemail of people that are just calling to say, hey, like, I love listening to y'. All.

[Kat]

So if we're not playing your voicemail, it's not because we don't like it. It's sometimes we feel uncomfortable playing Praise.

[Amy]

I even felt weird even reading that. I was like, oh, I should have skipped that paragraph. Aw. But I don't because Susan wouldn't want me to do that. Yeah. Yeah. But she thinks we're vulnerable, honest, funny, and we bring joy.

[Kat]

Which thank you for saying that because we also have gotten some feedback that we're not those things.

[Amy]

Oh, this reminds me a video that I saw Brittany Kellogg do. She's a singer songw here in town. And on Instagram she does, like, take out the trash Tuesdays or something. And while she's wheeling out her trash, she calls out like, trash comments that she gets on her Instagram. And one that I saw her do recently, she was wheeling out the trash and some guy, I don't know, I don't remember someone named Carl, some man named Carl. And she puts his picture up and she's like, oh, hey, Carl. And then she puts exactly what Carl said. And he said, man, you're horrible. Or something like that. And he spelled your just. He put Y O, U, R, E, but no apostrophe. And then he put man, no comma. It was just man, you're horrible. No comma, no punctuation. So she was like, carl, I'm taking out the trash. Like, first of all, you got this all wrong. I'm a girl. So she goes. She crosses out man. And she puts, it's girl. I'm a girl. And after you say that, it's more like girl pause. So for the pause, Carl, we put a comma. Okay. And then your. You almost had it. You almost had it. You got it with the Y O, U, R, E, but you forgot the apostrophe. So we're gonna go ahead. And she's, like, popping up on the screen like, her. Like, she's a teacher editing, like, someone's paper. And so she corrects that. And then she was like. And you put horrible. But I think you meant hilarious. And then she crosses out that and puts hilarious. She's like, okay, let's try this. Girl, you're hilarious.

[Kat]

There we go.

[Amy]

There we go, Carl, now we're on to something. Have a great day. And it was just so cute and such a funny way to handle negative feedback.

[Kat]

We don't get that much hate. So it's not like we need to trash.

[Amy]

Take out the trash. Yeah.

[Kat]

However, I'm hesitant to do something like that because of. I feel like I'm turning into you. The retaliation. Like, it's retaliation even gonna be worth.

[Amy]

Carl might come to my house or

[Kat]

just, like, say something else. It's like egging it on versus letting them just, like, say their comment. We can delete it and then move on. But, I mean, she's making light of it. If you can make light of unkind things people are saying, that is one way to, like, cope.

[Amy]

Yeah, she. I guess when she films these, she often. Because that one popped up, I started to want to see the other ones. So I was just scrolling through her feed to see all the take out the trash Tuesdays, and she had this other one where she's holding her, like, a cocktail, but she drinks it out of a Red vine, her straw. It's like a Twizzler, but it's different. Like a. It's a red licorice, but a different brand. So. And it's. She drinks out of it because it gives it a little sweetness to her vodka or her tequila or whatever is in her cocktail. And I guess someone called her out for looking ridiculous doing that, but she went to that person's page, and apparently on that person's Instagram, she went through and screenshot every cocktail or piece of alcohol or anything that she showed on her. Paige. And she's like, from what I can tell, you like to drink a lot. So if I. You know, I'm paraphrasing, but she's like, if I want to enjoy my little Red vine and my drink, like, what's it to you? In a way. And then someone else called her out for having a camel toe in one video. So she was taking out the trash, and she brought a little whiteboard, and she started drawing, and she was like, this is a female body, and this is what happens when. You know. Yeah, she really good for her. Yeah. It's funny. She was. I met her on our cruise because we did a cruise earlier this year with Top Shelf Country Cruise, and there were tons of artists, like, playing all day long. So there were some that I. I had never met Brittany before, but I got to meet her, and I did a little interview with her and listener. Like a Q A. And she's funny. Yeah.

[Kat]

So I have something to share with you that actually, we can thank Patrick for this.

[Amy]

Okay. What is it?

[Kat]

So I was looking for something that I had sent him based on a conversation we were having earlier.

[Amy]

Oh, yeah?

[Kat]

Yeah. And I actually found something that he had sent me, and I just thought it'd be interesting to go through, and I want to get your feedback to see if you relate to any of this stuff.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

It's weird things people in love do and why.

[Amy]

Okay, so, like, what kind of weird things?

[Kat]

Well, can I share what we were talking about?

[Amy]

Sure.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

Yeah, you can talk about that part. So it obviously has to do with that.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Does it get even weirder?

[Kat]

I think it gets a little weirder. Oh, but not. I think that might be the weirdest thing. Okay. But it's not weird. Okay, Well, I don't.

[Amy]

Yeah. This would be interesting to pull our audience, like, if they could. Course, if they could email in and let us know or send us a DM or something. Let us know where you fall in this category because we need to. We need a survey.

[Kat]

Okay. So I asked, honestly, why did I bring this up?

[Amy]

Oh, I burped.

[Kat]

Oh, okay.

[Amy]

We ate chicken. So Kat picked up lunch. Oh, tell people what? You were, like, freaking out because I didn't get back to you because I was doing the Bobby Bone show, and. And I told you I wanted the chicken plate from Waldo's, but I guess it comes with sides, and I didn't give you sides, so I panic ordered. So you panic ordered.

[Kat]

And they have a lot of sides there, But I got you fries because you can't go wrong with fries. And then I got Mac and cheese because I know you love Mac and cheese, but I don't know their Mac and cheese because I don't like Mac and cheese. So I was like, what if I got her the Mac and cheese and it's bad. And what if she really wanted this tomato cucumber salad? But she didn't get back to me and now she's getting the Mac and cheese.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

And then it wasn't that good.

[Amy]

You did good.

[Kat]

Okay, well, you liked my choices, but then you did say the Mac and cheese wasn't your favorite.

[Amy]

It wasn't. What? But still, I'm glad you got it, cuz I would want to try it. And then I had a Taylor farm salad, so I whipped that up so I could have something a little green with my chicken. And then I had the fries and then tried the Mac and cheese.

[Kat]

And the muffin.

[Amy]

And the muffin. I've never had Waldo's before.

[Kat]

That muffin is the best part of any meal.

[Amy]

Glorious. Like, I might go there now. Just. Do they have Diet Coke?

[Kat]

Yes.

[Amy]

Oh, my gosh.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Can you imagine going to Walters?

[Kat]

You can get a side of just the muffins. Yeah.

[Amy]

Don't tell me that. Well, I'm gonna go one day.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

You know, I'm gonna come by your house and I'm gonna show up with Waldo's muffins and a Diet Coke.

[Kat]

It's the best snack. They're like the. Well, actually, I don't have anything to compare them to. I was gonna say Red Lobster, but they're totally different.

[Amy]

But.

[Kat]

But, but it's cheddar biscuit.

[Amy]

Yeah. The Red Lobster one is a little more dense.

[Kat]

Yes. Yeah.

[Amy]

And this is a little bit more airy.

[Kat]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Amy]

But they're both delicious.

[Kat]

So I. I got us lunch, and we were eating lunch, and then I burped and Amy burped and I said. I said, what word do you want me to use? I feel like you don't like this word. Just like you don't like.

[Amy]

Well, what's the scientific word?

[Kat]

Past flatulence? No.

[Amy]

No.

[Kat]

I asked Amy if she ever. What do older people say? Like, something wind. Like break wind. Okay. She's. Ever broken wind in. In front of her ex boyfriend. You guys were together for a year and a half. And she said, no. Never. No. And then she said. And he never in front of me either.

[Amy]

And I was also in my marriage. We didn't.

[Kat]

Oh, yeah. And then she said. And I never did. You never did. In Front of Ben.

[Amy]

I mean, I don't know if it ever accidentally happened. I can't recall, but we did not. It was not. It wasn't like.

[Kat]

And he didn't do it either.

[Amy]

No, no. He.

[Kat]

He.

[Amy]

We didn't really talk about any of that. I know. I know that that seems really, really weird, and that's not weird as I think it's. I want to be in a relationship where maybe we do that, but I don't. But I don't know how.

[Kat]

He's like, I want to fart in front of my boyfriend so bad, but I don't know how.

[Amy]

I mean, how do you find somebody like that?

[Kat]

Like, I mean, Amy's dating profile is like, what are you looking for someone I can fart in front of?

[Amy]

No, I don't. But I don't want to use that word.

[Kat]

Okay. Somebody I can break wind in front of.

[Amy]

Yeah. I just don't even want it to be a thing.

[Kat]

Like, I want it to be, like, easy, breezy.

[Amy]

Mike.

[Kat]

Literally.

[Amy]

Yeah. Just a thing you do. Like, you drink water. Okay.

[Kat]

But it was interesting because you said you burp in front of.

[Amy]

I mean, but not a lot. But, I mean, I would. I'd be like. Or if I had a hiccup, like. Like, whatever.

[Kat]

You know, I never did that. But I hiccup all the time in front of them. It's the same thing.

[Amy]

Yeah, it was. No, I had no shame.

[Kat]

Okay. I don't think it's. I've heard. I told you. I've had a friend who. We talked about this actually, last weekend. She has been with her now husband six years, and she never has. But he does in front of her. But she said she never needs to. She's like, I just don't. I'm like, don't you have a stomachache from, like, holding in your.

[Dr. Laurie Santos]

Everything.

[Kat]

They live together.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

And she said, I just don't feel like I ever have to. So do you relate to that? Some people?

[Amy]

No. No.

[Kat]

Okay. No, no, no.

[Amy]

You know that couple? There's that couple. They're older and they go on a. Like a fart walk after they have. After dinner,

[Kat]

that chicken. I sometimes will be like, do we need to go on a fart walk? Wait, what?

[Amy]

These people are elderly. Y' all do that?

[Kat]

Well, apparently you're supposed to go on fart walks after you eat.

[Amy]

30 minutes after you eat.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Lace up your shoes and go out. And you just both go. And you're just like. And I'm like, wow, what a cute couple.

[Kat]

So now Every time you see a couple walk around the neighborhood, you can be like. Like, I wonder if they're on a fart walk.

[Amy]

Yes.

[Kat]

Or just a regular.

[Amy]

That feels really safe to me.

[Kat]

Like, safe emotionally.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Okay. I do think that. Okay, so that goes to the weird things. Because what I was looking for is I have sent Patrick. After we had this conversation, I had sent Patrick some meme or some infographic on Instagram that said, like, couples that fart in front of each other. Sorry, I'm using that word now.

[Amy]

That's fine.

[Kat]

Are happier.

[Amy]

We're mature.

[Kat]

Yeah, we are mature. We're so mature. We're doing a segment on Breaking Wind. It said couples that do that in front of each other are happier. And I couldn't find that, but I found this Weird things people in love do and why. So before we get to this, let us know your feelings on this topic.

[Amy]

Oh, our listeners.

[Kat]

Yes. Okay.

[Amy]

This is a call out. Like, this is your homework assignment.

[Kat]

Yeah. Do you. Do you not? Why? Why not?

[Taco Bell Advertiser]

How did you grow up?

[Amy]

I mean, this is the part that Kat and I started really talking about, like, what is it from our childhood? Or, like, what is it that makes people comfortable or not comfortable with it?

[Kat]

But your mom did do that in front of you, and my mom didn't.

[Amy]

Yeah. So weird.

[Kat]

Yeah. Maybe it's not that.

[Amy]

And, like, I will like my kids. Like, we all. It's not a thing. Like, we. It's safe at home for them to do that. It's not like I'm like, ooh, we don't do that.

[Kat]

No, no.

[Amy]

I want them to. It's just in a relationship, I. That's just not the norm.

[Kat]

There is for me. I do believe that. Obviously not for my relationship, but I do believe that, like, not doing that leaves a little, like, you know, mystery, you know, like, you know how people are. Like, girls don't poop. They just like. I think that they.

[Amy]

I know, but that's annoying. Like, why did that ever become a thing?

[Kat]

Because, like, girls should just be able

[Amy]

to do now we have to act like we don't.

[Kat]

And we do.

[Amy]

And we don't. We don't.

[Kat]

It's like. And I don't.

[Amy]

Which is exactly why I don't. Yeah.

[Kat]

So ever so. But I do. Okay. I like that idea that we should have every day. Yeah. We shouldn't have to pretend that these are. Aren't normal things that happen. So Amy's looking for somebody who she can feel comfortable and let loose around. If you know anybody, let us know. And Maybe that's a conversation you and past partners have of like, what would it be like if we just did this? Would it bring us closer?

[Amy]

So you want me to call my ex boyfriend and say, do you want to go on a fart walk?

[Kat]

Yes.

[Amy]

He'd probably be like, yeah. He'd be like, like, so healthy.

[Kat]

That was, that was. The issue is that we couldn't.

[Amy]

It's like, I've been waiting for you to say this.

[Autotrader Advertiser]

Are you really buying a car online on Autotrader right now?

[Kat]

Really?

[Autotrader Advertiser]

At a playground?

[Amy]

Yeah. Really? Look at these listings from dealers.

[Autotrader Advertiser]

Wow. Your search can really get that specific.

[Amy]

Really?

[Autotrader Advertiser]

And you just, you just put in your info and boom, car's in your budget.

[Amy]

Mom needs a second.

[Autotrader Advertiser]

Honey, you can really have it delivered.

[Amy]

Really? Or I can pick it up at the dealership. One sec, sweetie. Mommy's buying a car.

[Kat]

Mommy, look.

[Autotrader Advertiser]

I think your kid is walking up the slide.

[Amy]

Kyle. Again? Really? Auto trader. Buy your car online? Really?

[Bowen Yang]

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[Kal Penn]

Hey, everyone, it's Kal Penn. I'm the host of Irsay The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Ray Porter, the narrator of Andy Weir's audiobook project Hail Mary, Massive sci fi adventure about survival and science and what happens when you wake up alone, very far from Earth.

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I really had to make a decision because I caught myself getting that frog in my throat and starting to get teary as I'm narrating some of these sections and it's like, okay, yo, yo, yo. Is this indulgent And I really thought about it. I was like, no. At this point, it would kind of be betraying the trust the author and the listener have in telling this story if I don't go through it. But there's places in this book that. That deeply, emotionally affected me. And I left it on the mic. That's great because it served the story. People will say like, oh, my God, I cried at the end. It's like, yeah, dude, me too.

[Kal Penn]

Listen to Irsay, the Audible and I Heart audiobook book Club on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

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[Kat]

Okay. Weird things people do that are in love.

[Amy]

Okay. So when you're in love, you do these things. Maybe.

[Kat]

Maybe. I want to know if you do that. Bite their partner,

[Amy]

like just randomly.

[Kat]

Yes. Patrick sent this to me. I know, because this is number one. And I bite him.

[Amy]

Yeah. And it's like when he comes home from work, you're like, hey, his love biting him.

[Kat]

Like, not in like an intimate way. Like, I just want to bite his arm or his hand or so it says. When people feel overwhelming affection, the brain can trigger cute aggression, which this is. Put a good cute spin on it. Where strong positive emotions create playful urges like squeezing, nibbling, or biting. Psychologists believe this response helps regulate intense feelings so the brain doesn't become emotionally overloaded.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

So I'm just like, so obsessed with them. I have. You know when people are like, to babies, they're like, oh, I just want to eat you.

[Amy]

Right.

[Kat]

Like, that's huge aggression, Patrick.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

But I have that towards my husband.

[Amy]

Yeah. Okay.

[Kat]

Okay. So you haven't experienced that? That's okay.

[Amy]

Maybe a nipple or so. A little. A little.

[Kat]

So you have more basic cute aggression.

[Amy]

Sure.

[Kat]

Use a higher pitched baby voice. Do you baby talk?

[Amy]

Not really.

[Kat]

Yeah. I don't do it.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

It says couples often speak in. In softer or higher tones because this style of speech activates caregiving instincts in the brain.

[Amy]

The Guys too, I guess.

[Kat]

I guess it signals emotional safety and warmth, which strengthens feelings of closeness and attachment. I think that this. People do this more like their pets and babies, which makes sense because it's

[Amy]

people to do it in relationships.

[Kat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I don't think Patrick's ever baby talks towards me like, oh,

[Amy]

you want to bite me?

[Kat]

No, he's always like, no biting. He hates it.

[Amy]

Oh, he doesn't like it.

[Kat]

Not like it. Yeah, no, he does. Not like when I bite him. Doesn't stop me. Now I can. I don't know that he actually read this. I'm like, it's cute. Aggression. I'm supposed to do it. Okay. Sniff their partner's hair or scent.

[Amy]

Maybe a little bit.

[Kat]

Yeah, I sniff Hatcher all the time. I will say to him, I just need to get a sniff of you. Oh, and not like, because.

[Amy]

Was it because he wears a certain cologne you like or it's just his natural scent?

[Kat]

He refuses to wear cologne, actually.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

And it's not even, like, when he gets to the shower. It's his smell. Like, I like the smell of, like, his skin. I sound like a serial killer.

[Amy]

Patrick. But blink twice if you need help. Patrick. Call me if you need help. Ever.

[Kat]

What's crazy is I'm noticing that, like, I do all these things, but he doesn't do them to you.

[Amy]

So you're, like, really in love with him and he's just, like, along for the ride.

[Kat]

I think I even said, like, it might have been last night, like, don't you ever just want to get a sniff of me?

[Amy]

And he said, no. No. Oh.

[Kat]

He chose his love in other ways. Okay. It says recognizing the smell of someone you love can release oxytocin, sometimes called the love hormone. This chemical is linked to bonding and trust, which is why a partner's scent can feel calming and emotionally reassuring.

[Amy]

My natural scent lately is self tanner, and I don't want anybody to sniff that.

[Kat]

Okay. Over stimulate their partner when they're already over stimulated.

[Amy]

Wait, they do that when they're in love?

[Kat]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Amy]

You would think if you're in love, if they're already overstimulated.

[Kat]

You.

[Amy]

You wanna.

[Kat]

It says people sometimes keep tickling or teasing their partner even when they're overwhelmed, because playful irritation can be a form of attention.

[Amy]

Oh, okay, I get it. I get it. I do not like being tickled. I do not mean either. I do not. I. I have to say, like, I get. My voice changes, but not too high. It goes really Low and, like, scary,

[Kat]

where I'm like, give us a sample.

[Amy]

Like, I might be. Like, I might be. Like, I. Like, I feel like I want to murder you if, like, you don't stop. Like, I. I'm not. I'm not happy. This doesn't. No, I'm not messing around.

[Kat]

I'm not happy right now.

[Amy]

Yeah, like, this isn't fun.

[Kat]

What is? Is it, like, armpits or.

[Amy]

Anywhere.

[Kat]

Anywhere.

[Amy]

My feet.

[Kat]

Oh, yeah.

[Amy]

If I feel pinned down or restrained, like, pin, like, to where I can't. And I'm being tickled.

[Kat]

Has anybody ever laid you down and this is, like,

[Amy]

laid you down in.

[Kat]

Has anybody ever laid you down and cat goes cryo.

[Amy]

Cat.

[Kat]

Okay. Laid you down and pinned your arms down and then, like, put their knees on your arms and then tickled you.

[Amy]

That is not okay.

[Kat]

I think the cruelest form of torture.

[Amy]

Yeah, it's pretty bad.

[Kat]

So this. I don't really relate to this, but Patrick might disagree. He. I might do, but he doesn't get overstimulated. It's more. I get overstimulated. Okay, here's the big one. Fart without a care around their partner. When people feel completely comfortable with someone, they stop worrying about small social embarrassments like farting. Psychologists often see this as a sign of deep familiarity and trust in a relationship. So. Yeah, but I also think that, like, you can be in love and not do that.

[Amy]

Yeah, but this is where we need the study. Like, we need to know the people that are in love that don't feel comfortable doing that. Why? And the people that feel comfortable doing it. Why? What's the difference? Like, why. Why isn't just, like, peeing? It's sort of like, I think about this sometimes when we have to go to the bathroom. If you have to go pee, you're like, oh, I gotta get up. I gotta go pee. It's no big thing. You make an announcement, you're like. Like, at work. I'm like, do we have a break? Can I go pee? And we run and pee, and everybody knows you're going to pee, but if you have to do something else, you don't ever announce that. It's not ever. But it's the same. It's at the same place.

[Kat]

I think it's because it's kind of. It's grosser. Like.

[Amy]

Yeah, but I get that it's. I get that it's different in that way. I understand, but.

[Kat]

But it's a natural thing.

[Amy]

It's a natural thing that everybody does, and we've made One of them, okay to announce and talk about freely, but we don't. The other.

[Kat]

And I could.

[Amy]

Or like, if you're throwing up, like, if you're. If you. If you have food poisoning, like, you're fine saying, like, I'm throwing up, but if you have it the other way, you might say, like, ugh, both ends, you know, but you're okay.

[Kat]

Or you might just say like, I had a stomach bug. Like, yes, you wouldn't.

[Amy]

You don't even give specifics.

[Kat]

Which.

[Amy]

Yeah, I guess it is a little bit more. Which people probably have maybe even had to turn us off. They quit listening.

[Kat]

Can we get the stats of 20, how long people listen to this?

[Amy]

Because now if we're talking about, you know, diarrhea or whatever, even when I have to say that right now, I'm like, you know, diarrhea. You know, I say it.

[Kat]

Shh.

[Amy]

But we can say throw up. Yeah, no problem.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

And like, babies have dirty diapers all the time. Like, everybody knows that's what people do. And you're like, oh, the baby. When they're a baby, it's like, oh, the baby pooped. Yeah. Anyway, it's just something that. That's what I think about sometimes. Like, going to the bathroom. Like, how we have our different ways of saying it.

[Kat]

No, that's a really interesting. I mean, it feels, like, complex and not at the same time, because I get it, but also I don't get it. Like, when did this. What I would. Would want to know is, when did this start? Because at some point we were just doing whatever back in the caveman days, like, there was no, like, manners. Some of this, I think, goes back to manners and how you. How you're raised. But also, I think you can be raised one way and be defiant of that, too. So when did the manners start? Categorizing certain things? I mean, it's that whole idea that, like, things are only weird to us because they're not normal to us, but in other cultures, those things.

[Amy]

Oh, well, sort of like, even thinking of how being a woman has evolved, I started a little bit of four wins.

[Kat]

And so such a good book.

[Amy]

You know, it's following a female character in the 20s and 30s, and her role is so different, and even her relationship and how they handled things, like, because she had slept with someone, they labeled her as ruined her family.

[Kat]

Her own family.

[Amy]

Yeah. Who ruined you? Give me his name.

[Kat]

Who?

[Amy]

And then that, you know, so it's heartbreaking. And, like, that's just. Unfortunately, there probably are some families that still maybe operate that way and would disown their child if they came home and had something like that happen. Or their kid. She's 25 years old in the book, like she's not even a child.

[Kat]

It's like normal for her to be pregnant, right.

[Amy]

As a 25 year old, it's like, oh my gosh, even back then. And Kristin Hannah's writing from a his. It's historical fiction. So this is how. It's not like she's just making this up. And like how my grandmother or my great grandmother, like how their relationship with their husband was like. You know, there's a part in the book, I don't, I don't even say if it's the main character or who it is because I don't want to give too much away. But it's like her inner thoughts of how she even wants to show up to her husband and she'd been married for a very long time and she's saying she can't even express herself at night with what she wants.

[Kat]

Yeah. Because back then that's not what you did.

[Amy]

No.

[Kat]

So I wish. And I'm like, what? Okay. I wish that. I mean, okay, I would probably never bring this kind of stuff up to my grandparents, but I would want to know more about like, what. Yeah. What was your relationship like and comparatively, how those have changed over time. Like my grandparents relationship, then to my parents, then to mine, like what the differences are. Because now. Yeah. Like expressing like your own needs at night, like, are. It's so normal. But well. Well, to me.

[Amy]

Not to everybody.

[Kat]

Yeah, to me. So you're right. Like a lot of cultures and a lot of people depending on how they were raised, they would never. But that's also why I think women in general still, we still struggle like with intimacy. Yes. And like men are allowed. I mean that's the whole idea that like men can be super sexual and like want to do that and be into whatever and say whatever they want. But if girls say it, then like they're labeled as bad words. I was gonna say a floozy, but I'm really thinking a different word.

[Amy]

Right.

[Kat]

Like, but they're not doing anything different.

[Amy]

So.

[Kat]

Yeah. That I think is generational and over time it's changing the. It's slowly. But yeah. I wonder if my grandparents passed gas in front of each other.

[Amy]

Yeah, I doubt it.

[Kat]

If I asked my grandma that she like, please ask her, she would be like, what is wrong with you? I don't have that kind of relationship with her.

[Amy]

Well, yeah, you can evolve. Yeah, do it for us, Cat. I don't have a grandparent to ask. Yeah, I don't even have a parent. How do I even swear it's all on you?

[Kat]

Well, I can already ask my parents, because how do you warm your grandma up to that question?

[Amy]

Like, just say, hey, grandma, I gotta. I gotta. Let it rip, grandma.

[Kat]

Do. Let it rip.

[Amy]

Let it rip, tater chip. You just gotta say, hey, grandma, I've got a question for you. Might be a little uncomfortable, but.

[Kat]

So there's no warm up.

[Amy]

My friends and I have been talking about, and I just would love your perspective.

[Kat]

I think I. I would go a different route.

[Amy]

How would you warm her up?

[Kat]

I would be like, nana, I have. I just want to, you know, pick your brain for a little bit. And I would just start asking her questions because that is one thing that she does love to, like, talk about her past, and she loves to talk about her relationship with her husband, my grandpa. And so I would just start asking her questions. And then I'd be like, so, like, tell me about the first time that he said, I love you. And then she would tell me and tell me about this and tell me about that. And then I'd say, and tell me about the first time he farted in front of you and did you do it as well? And then, you know, okay, sneak it

[Amy]

in, warm her up, and she'll be like, say what?

[Kat]

She literally would think I lost my mind.

[Amy]

Okay, well, I can't wait to hear this report back from cryo.

[Kat]

Cat, I'm not actually gonna.

[Amy]

Oh, I thought you were really gonna do it.

[Kat]

My parents. But I already know. My dad does. In front of my mom. My mom doesn't do that. My mom doesn't even. I told you, I didn't even know that my mom went to the bathroom. Growing up, there's not one time that I knew that my mom was going to the bathroom. She was very private. I'm very different. So that it can't just be how you're raised. Has to be in our biology as well. Or personality, temperament. Anyway, I didn't mean to talk about this for 30 minutes. Is there any other things we can add to this?

[Amy]

No, I feel like that was good stuff. And it wasn't just about that. It was other. I mean, the biting and then we had the sniffing and the dumpster diver tips and the email.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

And, yeah, there's. I think there's, like, lots of stuff here. Yeah.

[Kat]

And this is thought provoking. Really. It's deep. If you let it be deep.

[Amy]

Yeah. Like, I'm. I'm curious. You're making me want to just text my ex boyfriend and he's like, now

[Kat]

I want to get back into the dating pool because I want to just try this out and see what it's like. Can I give you a tip?

[Amy]

Well, should I? I can just text him and be like, why did we never fart in front of each other?

[Kat]

Are you open to doing that?

[Amy]

Oh, my gosh. I would die. You would have to be right here with me, and we would have to press send, and then I would have to cover my eyes.

[Kat]

Oh, you want me to call.

[Amy]

Oh, my gosh. I. When we were dating, I would call him if.

[Kat]

If.

[Amy]

If we were still together. And we weren't, obviously we wouldn't be doing that. So if we were still together, I bet this is one of those dates where I would call him at work and I would be like, why don't we ever fart in front of each other? And then he would be like, I'm working.

[Kat]

Yeah. So when you do test this out, I will say, wait till you guys are, like, officially dating before you just let this go.

[Amy]

Let it go, Let it go, Let it go. Yeah. Are you talking to the gen pop?

[Kat]

Oh, I'm just telling you because you've never. You're new at this.

[Amy]

Well, I know I'm not just gonna, like, go. I'm not just gonna go all in. It might not be something I can never really change about myself.

[Kat]

Yeah, I kind of like. You don't need to change it. I kind of. Unless you.

[Amy]

But what I'm saying is I wish I could be that comfortable, but.

[Kat]

So for you, it's a comfortability thing. It's not that you just don't.

[Amy]

But I'm comfortable with other things. Like, I don't know, maybe I'll bring this up in therapy. What a weird thing to waste my money and time on.

[Kat]

You might uncover something crazy.

[Amy]

That's what I'm thinking. Like, what if it leads to something deeper? Because it says there, like, if you're in love, like you.

[Kat]

Yeah. Can't wait to hear your yalls input on this. I know we're going to get an influx of voicemails.

[Amy]

Yeah. So many it's going to break the phone line. You can call us 877-207-2077. You can also email hey there. @feelingthingspodcast.com and then our Instagram is Feeling Things podcast. We'd love to hear from you, hear your thoughts on anything. On anything. Does it not have to be about this topic? If anybody is still listening and we hope wherever you are, you have the

[Kat]

day you need to have.

[Amy]

Bye bye.

[Dr. Laurie Santos]

Latte Iced Coffee Espresso. Your new Nespresso Vertuo up machine makes the perfect cup for every morning. One button press and you can brew any coffee any size your way. New Vertuo up press to explore shop [e-mail] this is Dr. Laurie Santos from the Happiness Lab. This weekend I'm having friends over for a dinner party and I'll be serving my famous white bean Escarole Chicken sausage. And of course I'll be using Dietz and Watson Italian Chicken Sausage. Their sausage is always perfect for guests because it has no nitrates added, it's gluten free and it's just delicious. Visit dietzandwatson.com the right way to learn more about the deets difference.

[Bowen Yang]

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[Amy]

hey

[Kal Penn]

everyone, it's Kel Penn. I'm inviting you to join the best sounding book club you've ever heard with my podcast, Hearsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. Every episode I nerd out with amazing guests and dive into the best new audiobooks available on Audible. It's the book club for your ears. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Kat]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.