FEELING THINGS - What The Hell Are We Doing With Our Lives + 6 Rules to Avoid Being Cringe

Summary

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Podcast Summary: "FEELING THINGS - What The Hell Are We Doing With Our Lives + 6 Rules to Avoid Being Cringe"

Podcast: The Bobby Bones Show (Feeling Things segment)
Hosts: Amy & Kat
Release Date: August 7, 2026
Length: ~75 min (content segment: 03:27-75:18)

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Episode Overview

This lively episode centers on self-reflection and meaningful connection, from personal updates to deeper life questions over a hypothetical “what the hell are we doing with our lives?” girls’ dinner. Amy and Kat blend vulnerability with humor, examining modern dating woes, friendship, procrastination, and their own quirks. The show closes with a playful but thoughtful list of six “rules to avoid being cringe,” rounded off with personal anecdotes and listener engagement.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Catching Up: Hair Regrets, Style, and Speaking Up

Timestamps: 03:45–09:19

• Amy shares about a hair coloring misadventure, reflecting on “owning your choices” and the awkwardness of hair appointments gone wrong.
• Kat relates a college story of bartering babysitting for a haircut, resulting in a botched job—and highlights the difficulty in speaking up when dissatisfied.
• Discussion on People-Pleasing & Confrontation:
  Amy: “Is that people pleasing? Like we are paying for a service… there’s a kind way to go about it, but you’re still going outside of your comfort zone...” (08:12)
• High-Rise Jeans vs Trends:
  Amy and Kat joke that, at a certain age, style is about what feels good—not what’s trendy.

2. Therapy Culture & Dating App Disasters

Timestamps: 09:19–26:12

• Massage Complaints: How people struggle or strategize in giving negative feedback for services.
• Feeling Lucky: Kat feels lucky after watching Netflix documentaries (“Shipwrecked” and “A Toxic Love Story”)—“these things can happen to anybody, how did I get saved, you know?” (14:04)
• The Brutality of Hinge:
  Amy and her friend sift through 50 dating prospects—none successful. They discuss the “voice memo” trend on apps, with Amy critical of forced cleverness:
  Amy: “Don’t try to say something clever. ...That’s not funny though. And that’s what you choose to leave as a voice memo on the thing?” (15:33–16:01)
• Red flags in dating profiles: Overly-self-referential gym selfies, underwear pics, and “money pieces” in hair.
• Golden Girls Pact: Facing dating app fatigue, Amy explores the idea of moving in with friends if single by a certain age.

3. ‘What the Hell Are We Doing With Our Lives?’ Girls’ Dinner Questions

Timestamps: 26:12–38:04; 47:36–56:55

• Inspired by Lindsay Vanetten’s Instagram.
  Amy and Kat encourage listeners to ask themselves (and friends) annual reflection questions:
  1. What do you want more of in your life right now?
  2. What are you currently tolerating that needs to change?
  3. What do you keep saying you'll do but haven't?
  4. What do you actually want the next year of your life to look like?
  5. What would you go after if you knew every woman here had your back?
• Kat’s Answers: Wants more alone time, to do things solo, and to change procrastination tendencies.
• Amy’s Answers: Wishes for more spontaneity, to procrastinate less, and to finally pursue an “invention” idea.

Memorable Quote:
Amy: “I have that invention that I want to make really bad… I say to myself, well, I guess I don’t want it bad enough because other people stay up all night building their dreams and I’m going to bed.” (38:32–39:01)

4. Procrastination, Shower Routines & Self-Care Rituals

Timestamps: 39:01–47:36

• Amy’s “Everything” Shower Routine: A detailed and regimented regimen that borders on comical—but underscores the “if you’re not going to do it right, why bother?” mindset.
• Kat’s Take: Suggests Amy lighten her process, generating gentle banter.
• Listener Value: Amy promises to share her skincare routine for those curious (“riveting stuff” per Kat).

5. Wait to Worry: Mom-to-Be Anxieties

Timestamps: 29:41–32:34

• Segment: Kat recounts anxiety after bending over while pregnant, fearing harm to her baby. Google and a doctor reassure her she needn’t worry—and Amy and Kat discuss “wait to worry” as a recurring, relatable theme.

Memorable Moment:
Amy (laughing): “Wait, are you gonna tell us you thought you killed your baby again? I mean, first I electrocuted it and now you’ve squished it.” (30:19)

6. Friendship, Fullness, and Shifting Life Priorities

Timestamps: 47:36–56:55

• Kat: Hopes motherhood brings a “new kind of fullness,” even while adjusting to less independence.
• Amy: Wants to have more “no reason” parties and social gatherings, reminiscing about spontaneous barbecues pre-divorce.

7. Work, Identity & Using Your Profession Socially

Timestamps: 60:04–72:30

• Kat shares how (as a therapist) she often avoids revealing her job on dates or to strangers to avoid instant “therapy dumping.” Two cringe dating stories illustrate this.
• Amy also sometimes downplays her radio/media job—“Sometimes I just say, yeah, I work in media... If they ask more questions then I can give more answers.”
• Discusses the boundaries and pitfalls of being defined by/used for your profession in social situations.

8. 6 Rules to Avoid Being Cringe

Timestamps: 72:54–75:03

Amy closes with a funny and practical list (inspired by internet wisdom):

1. Don’t use speakerphone in public.
2. Don’t comment on someone’s weight gain/loss.
3. Don’t call someone more than twice in a row.
4. Don’t show up uninvited.
5. Don’t get on elevators before others exit.
6. Don’t scroll through someone’s photos if they hand you their phone.

Memorable Anecdote:
Amy recalls her son accidentally seeing “cringe” photos while trying to take a picture for a fan. (73:33–74:58)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On style and age:
  “We have now hit an age where what is in style is what we feel good in. And I feel better in a high rise, 100%. So that’s what works for me.” (Amy, 05:30)

• On relationships and friendship:
  “Are we just gonna be alone forever?” (Amy, 20:44)

• On honesty in services:
  “If you say something, they’ll help tweak it... You just have to step outside of your comfort zone.” (Amy, 06:25)

• On self-improvement:
  “Everything that I started to do... was from repetition of seeing different dermatologists in my feed... But like, if this is your problem, this is your solution. And I’m like, okay, thank you.” (Amy, 46:34)

• On life changes:
  “I’ve lived so much of my adult life doing whatever I want, whenever I want it. So I hope my life still looks full, but just in a different way.” (Kat, 48:50)

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Useful Timestamps

• Catching up & owning hair choices: 03:45–09:19
• Feedback, people-pleasing, & confrontation: 06:35–09:19
• Documentaries & feeling lucky: 11:29–14:26
• Dating app disasters & voice memos: 14:26–19:58
• Golden Girls Pact & aging: 21:04–23:28
• Girls dinner life questions: 26:12–29:45, 47:36–56:55
• “Wait to Worry” segment: 29:45–32:34
• Shower routine & self-care: 39:01–47:36
• Work identity & dating as a therapist: 60:04–72:30
• 6 Rules to Avoid Being Cringe: 72:54–75:03

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The Episode’s Tone

The episode is casual, honest, and peppered with dry humor and self-awareness. The hosts balance warm, supportive moments with playful teasing and unfiltered, sometimes self-deprecating stories.

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Conclusion

This episode is a blend of real talk, practical advice, and light-hearted banter about friendship, dating, taking care of yourself, and navigating life’s awkwardness—reminding listeners to both “feel things” and occasionally just laugh at the chaos.

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Transcript

[Kat]

This is an I heart podcast. Guaranteed human.

[Amy]

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[Kat]

Ladies and fellas, we just follow in

[Amy]

the spirit where it tell us from

[Kat]

the real stuff to the chill stuff and the in between. Sometimes the best thing you can do

[Amy]

is just stop and feel things.

[Kat]

This is Feeling Things with Amy and Kat.

[Amy]

Happy Tuesday. Welcome to Feeling Things. I'm Amy. And I'm Kat and my feeling of the day is eager.

[Kat]

Eager.

[Amy]

Yeah. I have a haircut coming up or a hair appointment. Well, I will be getting my hair cut, but also colored and I have not. This going lighter in my hair was my decision. I fully asked for it last time I went and we brought the lightness up to my root. A little bit higher and more of it and no bad idea. That's on me. I even texted my hair person. I'm hating my hair. It's on me. I take full responsibility. But the eagerness and the excitement around it is. My appointment was originally further out, but she had a cancellation. So she's getting me in about eight days sooner than I would have and I'm ready for that.

[Kat]

You're not. You're not doing what I.

[Amy]

No, I'm not going to chop my hair.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

Well, what I know I'm not gonna do bangs. I don't think I'm not gonna do. I'm not doing anything drastic other than going darker.

[Kat]

The color that you're used to.

[Amy]

Go. Yeah. I mean, I've always had highlights, but I think I'm gonna try something a little bit darker since we're summer is. Yeah, we're rounding into getting closer months, so I may try to do something darker. But I'm very eager and I hope I don't hate it and I hope like a few weeks from now I'm not texting her. My bad I take all the responsibility. I take all the responsibility. I don't like it.

[Kat]

But have you had the experience where it's not your fault and it's really bad?

[Amy]

It's.

[Kat]

And you have to like, well, remember

[Amy]

last summer when I was given money pieces?

[Kat]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Amy]

And I didn't ask for them, but.

[Kat]

Okay, but you did say something.

[Amy]

Blonde stripes. I did go back, and she put toner on them to tone them down because they were just. It was a little too much for me, even though it was very much in style. We're speaking of stuff that's in style. Kat and I were talking before we were recording, and I was like, my jeans are just so high up. They're like, when I sit down, they come up. And Kat goes, that's okay. That's what's in style. I was like, I really don't think it's what's in style, because I think mid to low rise, technically, that's what's in style. But we have now hit an age where what is in style is what we feel good in. And I feel better in a high rise, 100%. So that's. That's what works for me. And so what? Money pieces, I don't need. Money pieces might be in style. I don't need them. They do not work for me.

[Kat]

Well, I was just asking that. Just like, are you the kind of person that says something, or are you the kind of person that's like, I love it. And then you go home and you just, like, look in the mirror and you cry?

[Amy]

Yeah, I guess I haven't been in that situation an awful lot. But I. In my experience, like, if you say something, they'll help tweak it. Like, I went in. She's like, oh, let me put some toner on the money pieces. It'll calm them down.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

What about you?

[Kat]

I haven't had an experience where somebody who has done my. Like, I've gone and paid for it to get done, and it was really bad. But I did let a friend cut

[Amy]

my hair as an adult.

[Kat]

Have I not told you this?

[Amy]

I don't know. Were you a child or an adult? I was an adult. Okay.

[Kat]

I was in college, and I was poor, and I had no money. And a girl that I went to high school with posted on her Facebook, like, hey, I'm in hair school. I'm trying to get some, like, hours, portfolio hours. I don't know. If you watch my baby, I'll cut your hair. Oh, yeah.

[Amy]

You have told me this now. That you bring in the baby part.

[Kat]

The.

[Amy]

The barter system she had going on.

[Kat]

Yeah. And so I did it. I thought I was gonna watch her baby for, like, two hours. And I also didn't know how to watch a baby either. So she cut my hair in my bathroom. It was completely crooked like this, which, I mean, she was new. But then I watched her baby, and she didn't come back till, like, between, I feel, like, 1 and 3 in the morning. I thought she was gonna come back at, like, nine. So would I do it again? No.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

And then I had to go pay, so I did that to. For it to be free. Then I had to go pay to get my actual hair girl to cut my hair. And she was like, catherine, why did you do that? And I was like, because I don't have any money. And she was like, well, you're now spending it. And she fixed it.

[Amy]

Yeah, that's quite the story.

[Kat]

But I definitely didn't tell the person that cut it that it was crooked.

[Amy]

Right. Because you just didn't want to deal with that. Yeah, you're done. You don't even have to babysit again. And the whole thing was just awkward. If you don't speak up on that sort of thing. Is that people pleasing behavior? Like, we are paying for a service, so if we tend to keep quiet, but we don't like something, because there's obviously a kind way to go about it, but you're still having to go outside of your comfort zone and speak up and say, oh, you know, these money pieces are a little bright for me. I don't. I. Internally, I was like, I didn't ask for them. I don't even know what they are. But then I learned at work, I went to the Bobby Bones show, and Bobby was like, oh, the front of your hair is real bright. And then Morgan, who used to be on our show, she said, oh, those are money pieces. They're a thing. And sure enough, I looked up online, and money pieces were trending, and I was like, but I didn't ask for it. So I had to step outside of my comfort zone because I don't like.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Having to do that at all. But there are some people where that would paralyze them because they don't want to deal with any type of confrontation

[Kat]

like that, which is like, you're. That's the discomfort. Like, you don't want to make them uncomfortable. But what's happening is you're uncomfortable and you paid for it. So somebody has to be uncomfortable. And also that's their job, so I would. I would be uncomfortable doing that too. I'm with those kind of people. It'd be hard for me. But that's their job. So I think that they also know that that's, like, part of what comes to the territory. Have you ever complained about a massage?

[Amy]

No. Okay. Like, to the person or like a. Like a. I think, you know, discreetly through a. Like a comment card?

[Kat]

Either.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

So you've done one of them? No.

[Amy]

Okay. I just was imagining. How would you tell someone in person? Like, this was a horrible massage. I've had really bad experiences, but I just go talk about them on the radio over the years, so. So, I mean, I don't say who

[Kat]

they are, but this was like five, maybe longer, five years ago. And we. I went to a resort spa. We were at a resort on vacation with my mom, my sister. We went to go get massages, and we were sitting in, like, the steam room or something. Everybody had their clothes on. And the people in there. There's two people in there started talking to us, and they were like, oh, is this your first time here? We're like, yeah. And they're like, we were here yesterday and we got deep tissue massages, but they didn't even make us sore this morning. So we complained and we got a free massage.

[Amy]

Oh, wow.

[Kat]

Which is great. I. What?

[Amy]

But I mean, if you are asking for deep tissue and you get like, to the touch, I mean, I know that I have to be sore, but if it didn't meet their expectation, and spa prices or resort spa prices can be really expensive. So they probably were either. That's their thing and they. They swindle, or they just genuinely were wanting something. They didn't know they would get a free massage, but they just wanted to share their experience. And they were like, oh, we'll comp you a massage.

[Kat]

That's probably what happened. Yeah. Dang.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

I'm gonna start. If that's any motivation to share your feelings about things. Free stuff.

[Amy]

I know I'm gonna be that person.

[Kat]

I don't either. I don't either. Okay. So my feeling of the day, I'm feeling very lucky, which technically isn't a feeling, but I have watched two documentaries this week. Shipwrecked. Have you seen it?

[Amy]

Nope.

[Kat]

They're both on Netflix. I'm not going to say much about either of them because I think they're both kind of new. Shipwrecked, which is about a cruise ship wrecking. That's what it's about. So I'M not giving anything away. And then A Toxic Love Story, which is about a toxic love story.

[Amy]

I love when a title of a show is spot on. There's no guessing there.

[Kat]

And the shipwrecked one, I think I'm just like, oh, I feel very lucky that I've only been on one cruise and we made it to land. That's a great documentary. I do recommend it. But don't watch that if you love to go on cruises.

[Amy]

Well, I just went on a cruise this year and for the Bobby Bone show, and we have another one coming up next March.

[Kat]

Maybe don't watch it.

[Amy]

Well, it's. I'll be fine.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

I mean, the odds of something like that happening are very slim.

[Kat]

They are, but not zero. Okay. So. And then the other one, I felt lucky because I, you know, did a lot of online dating and I. I'm al. Foreign.

[Amy]

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[Kat]

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[Amy]

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[Kat]

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[Amy]

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[Kat]

I felt lucky because I, you know, did a lot of online dating and I. I'm alive and nobody stole all my money. And I mean, I had some bad dates, but I just had this feeling of these kinds of things can happen to anybody. How did I get saved, you know?

[Amy]

Well, again, I think it's few and far between, but it is crazy that those stories are out there. I was with my friend Mary Elizabeth last night and she has hinge and she came over to borrow an outfit and then we were talking about dates and guys and she was like, Oh, I just reactivated my hinge. So because she hadn't logged in in a while, she had some notifications, like 50 to go through of, like, guys that had sent her roses. And so she sat down at my kitchen counter. We went through them. Out of all 50, all of them got Xed. No, there wasn't a sing. Like, and we were trying to read all about them. Like, there were some that were really cute. And then they would have one of those voice memo note thingies. And then he would say, you know, like, one guy was like, I'm a 10, but the scale is out of a hundred, you know, And I'm like, is he trying to be self deprecating. I mean, he was cute, but why is he saying he's not trying to be fun out of a hundred? That's not. That's not funny, though. And on. And. And that's what you choose to leave as a voice memo on the thing.

[Kat]

I think the voice mem. The voicemails really freaks me out. Those were newer still when I was on Hinge. What I liked about them is you got to hear their voice.

[Amy]

So it's like, I just don't think that they.

[Kat]

But they're all to say yes, they should. They. They should be taken.

[Amy]

I think the only thing that works if you're a guy listening and you're on Hinge and you want to do that, I think the only thing that really would work for me would be like, testing, testing. This voice thing is weird. I just wanted you to be able to hear my voice. Oh, that's.

[Kat]

That's funny.

[Amy]

Like, okay, bye. You know, that's it. Don't try to say something clever. One guy was going on and on about how he's like a fun fact I learned recently. And I'm just paraphrasing this because I don't know how the math shakes out, and I'm sure this is easy math for some of you, but he's like, gosh, now I'm embarrassed. Like, I don't even want to make something up because I'm going to sound stupid. But he's like a fun fact I recently learned was if you talk to one person and each of us all have a thousand different encounters in our day, but you talk to one person, you've got your thousand and they've got their thousand, then together you've talked to a million people. And then when you talk to five people, you've talked to 5 million. And then if those people talk to each other, you've impacted a Billion people. I. I don't know how he was saying it, but I was like, that doesn't. It's not how it works. Like, just because you have it sort of reminds me of, like, sex ed in school when they would be like, if you sleep with this one person and they've slept with five people, you've now slept with five people. Or like. Or like, I mean, which is true. Like diseases. Yeah, right. Which is the point of sex ed. I get it. It's not. But then it'll be like in a mattress. Then if it. And if. If that One of the five they slept with has slept with 10 people. Now it's 15, you know, but just felt like a weird. Yeah, I don't love that fun fact that, like, didn't make sense, but he was wowed by it and he was acting as if. Think about that. We think that what we say to one person doesn't matter, but that one thing you say that one person really is. Affects a billion people.

[Kat]

I think he Was he trying to be, like, introspective and like, kind of like.

[Amy]

And if that is some legit fun fact quote from a really wise person, then ignore me.

[Kat]

You can still not like it.

[Amy]

I just didn't like it. Well, no, not if someone's, like, generally speaking, a lot wiser than me and they have a lot of wise things to say or it's some brilliant quote from somewhere. Like, I don't want to bag on it. I just don't think that's what he should have put as his voice memo text.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

As this, like, really profound thing of, like, his impact on humanity.

[Kat]

Okay. Was he cute? Was there other things about his profile that.

[Amy]

Yeah. But to me, at that moment, we are done.

[Kat]

I don't.

[Amy]

I. I was like, you're tough. Well, it wasn't even my profile. It's hers. So it was easier to just be like, oh, X, X, X. I can't remember. We looked at again, 50. So I can't tell you the other things that he had about him. There are some guys, I can tell you, that had the mirror selfies at the gym where. And they are flexing and they pull their shorts up and they flex their legs. No. Automatic no.

[Kat]

No.

[Amy]

Or automatic no. For me, I mean, I'm just not the reason.

[Kat]

I don't like that. Well, it's not my style. But I also don't like that because in general. So what. Why. What about all the pictures in your life that you have? Is that the one that you want to put on There because you have to think about, like, what you get, what, five, four or five pictures? What do I want these. What do I want the people in my. That are looking at my profile to see? And that's what they want you to. They want to. You to see their physical body. Specifically. It's fine to take a picture. You can take a picture in a gym. You can take a picture at a workout. You can take a picture doing something athletic that. Because that shows something about you. So that's why I don't like that. Which is fine for them if that's also what they're looking for. But my thing is, if that's what you want me to see, then we're probably not compatible. Because I don't want you to see that about, like. I don't want that to be the thing that grabs you about me, and I don't want that to be the thing that you're looking for in me either.

[Amy]

Yeah, I'm sure this guy that is. That's what he's looking for.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Someone that will flex their quads with him.

[Kat]

God. Well, at least wasn't in his underwear. I've had. I've come across mirror selfies of guys in their little panties.

[Amy]

Like whitey tighties.

[Kat]

Yes. Tight.

[Amy]

Or like, like.

[Kat]

Which should be. Not allowed on that. Right. It's like kind of nudity. I mean. I mean, I'm just a little more wholesome.

[Amy]

But what if a girl's in there in her bikini or a guy is in a Speedo?

[Kat]

Okay, okay, that's fair, but. That's fair, but like, in your bathroom, in your.

[Amy]

I get it. It's a little weird.

[Kat]

It just felt like in, like. Oh, I didn't. I didn't mean to see that.

[Amy]

I definitely felt after looking at her 50 and X them all out, like we're about, like, she's. I'm 45, she's about to turn 50, and we're like, are we just gonna be alone forever? And she told me that she has another friend that, like, she's doing the Golden Girls thing with. If, like, they don't end up married, like, they're gonna live together.

[Kat]

At what age do you decide that?

[Amy]

Well, is now too young? Is it too young you.

[Kat]

Yes.

[Amy]

Well, okay, so 45 is too young, but, like, at what age the Golden Girls were. What? In their. When the show. In the show. They were 60, maybe. Were they 65 because they were retired? I mean, I know.

[Kat]

I watched the Golden Girls. Do they all live together?

[Amy]

Yes.

[Kat]

Okay. I don't Know anything about them?

[Amy]

Oh, my gosh.

[Kat]

I'd be open to watching that.

[Amy]

Good. I think you would love it. Go back and watch some Golden Girls because it's such a good show.

[Kat]

But they all don't.

[Amy]

They all live together. So they've had divorces, deaths, whatever has brought them together. They're all single and older, and so there's Dorothy, Rose, Blanche, and Sophia. And Sophia is Dorothy's mom. And they all four live together in Blanche's house. Okay, okay. So their characters were 53, 54, 55. Oh, so, I mean, we're not that far off. Yeah, because Sophia was 80. Okay, okay.

[Kat]

That. Okay, okay. But. But hear me out. If you want to do that and you have a friend that wants to do that, I'm. I will support you. What happens, though, if one of you do start dating? Because 53 is not.

[Amy]

Yeah, they dated on the show a lot, especially Blanche.

[Kat]

Could they bring the men home?

[Amy]

Blanche did.

[Kat]

Okay, Blanche sounds like somebody who'd be dating.

[Amy]

You know, she was a little promiscuous.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

I mean, they all dated, don't get me wrong. But Blanche was Blanche.

[Kat]

So are you. Are you really open to this?

[Amy]

Well, something she brought up, and I thought, okay, that's a valid point, but what age do you implement that? It's sort of like, hey, if we're not with anybody with this age, we just get married, like, a guy and a girl or whoever in your life. And then this is sort of, hey, if we're not, I'm divorced. She's divorced. Her other friends was like, do we just bring everybody together and, like, have a good time and buy an awesome house?

[Kat]

So, you know, people did this.

[Amy]

Who?

[Kat]

Seven girls in China. This was, like, a big story.

[Amy]

Okay, maybe I did hear this was

[Kat]

a big story on social media a while ago. So I don't know all the details from it, but it was. Seven girls bought. Put their money together and bought a mansion and made it into their dream house, and then they decided to live in it together. So it's not. It's not like people don't do this. Yeah.

[Amy]

So, I mean, we could do it. I'm just telling you, things were looking pretty bleak.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

Last night on her profile.

[Kat]

Okay, so are you out of handwriting? Make you not want to, like, be on.

[Amy]

Oh, I didn't have the. Just after going through her page. I didn't have the desire. I'm just not gonna. I'm not ready for an app again. I mean, I'm not saying I won't.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

I just don't have that desire. So I think I'm good right now. I can get the fix, though. It is kind of fun to go through, but I can get the fix through her page. And then she was like, what if we see a guy that you end up liking, but she's not a good fit for me? And she was like. We were talking about how we would handle that, and she said that she could send him a message saying, what's your phone number? I have a friend I want to set you up with or something.

[Kat]

Did I tell you that some guy did that to me kind of when I was on the dating apps?

[Amy]

No.

[Kat]

It kind of hurt my feelings.

[Amy]

Oh, what happened?

[Kat]

Well, it wasn't that. It was not the scenario that your friend is saying it is. A guy matched with me, and he was really cute, and he was like, hey, not to be rude, but I'm really interested in your friend in your second picture.

[Amy]

Oh, yeah, that's. That's rough.

[Kat]

And I think I blocked him, but in hindsight, it was my. My friend Tori.

[Amy]

Was she single?

[Kat]

No, not at the time.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

She's not now. But I. I think I show. I'm pretty sure I showed it to her. And I don't. I also think she wasn't interested, but I also think it's because she was kind of dating somebody. But it did hurt my. It was. It shouldn't hurt. I mean, I guess it's okay to hurt my feelings. Feelings are valid. All of that. But I was like, oh, dang it. That's bold. I would never be like, oh, I'm not attracted to you, but your friend is really cute, you know, so.

[Amy]

Yeah, I can see how that would make.

[Kat]

Beware when you put attractive people on your dating app profile. They might, you know.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Get attention.

[Amy]

I tried not to put other people because I didn't want it to be confusing. I don't like when they have groups of people and you can't tell who's who.

[Kat]

Well, this is my advice. If you do decide to dabble. Is a group photo. One is good because it shows. It can show you, like, with community or can show you doing something.

[Amy]

Oh, like, I'm not a loser. Like, I have friends. I. Yeah.

[Kat]

It's also. You don't. You don't want all your pictures to be, like, selfies or individual shots. Because then it's like, why does she have so many of those?

[Amy]

Oh, I would just, like, crop myself.

[Kat]

Okay. I like being able to see people doing. It's not just, like, what you look like, it's also, what does your life kind of look like?

[Amy]

Got it. That makes sense.

[Kat]

This is all information I would share with people if I ever start my dating service.

[Amy]

That's right, because you may start helping people. Yeah, but you be a little matchmaker maybe. Okay, so the golden girls thing. Who knows if that's gonna actually happen? Uh, but we all do have girlfriends, and there are questions that you can ask your girlfriends. And this is something that I saw on Instagram from Lindsay Vanetten. It's her account, and I loved it, so I pulled it. But she has. Or she recommends a yearly what the hell are we doing with our lives? Girls dinners. Girls dinner, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Yearly what the hell are we doing with our lives? Girls dinner.

[Kat]

It's hard to say.

[Amy]

Yeah. And once a year gathers close friends and they ask these specific questions to each other to figure out what the heck they have going on. So the questions that you can ask if you want to do this. Everyone has to put their phones away, by the way.

[Kat]

So it's like an intimate.

[Amy]

It's an intentional intimate. What the heck are we doing with our lives? Dinner. First question. What do you want more of in your life right now? What are you currently tolerating that you know needs to change? What do you keep saying you'll do but haven't starting that matchmaking service? What do you actually want the next year of your life to look like? And then finally, the last question. What would you go after if you knew every woman here had your back?

[Kat]

That is a good one.

[Amy]

I love that question.

[Kat]

Okay. I kind of want to answer some of these. Can we have a girl dinner?

[Amy]

Yeah. Hand me your phone.

[Kat]

I don't know where it is. Somewhere do my iPad. Okay. So the first one was, what do you want more of in your life right now? Maybe some alone time.

[Amy]

Wow. For from you.

[Kat]

Shoot. Do I want that?

[Amy]

You must. You're saying it. I think I might think coming out right now. Whoa. You slipped. You're like. You love being around people.

[Kat]

No, I'm. Well, I'm more thinking, like, alone time. I don't need to be away from Patrick, but I feel like I would like more. I don't do things alone anymore. Like, ever since I got married and before that, like, I used to be very independent. I had. I had to be. And now I don't like doing anything by myself. So I think I want to challenge myself to do more things alone. But I might not like it. And I have. I request the right to change my mind about that.

[Amy]

Yeah, you have that granted.

[Kat]

Do you know what you would want?

[Amy]

I think I need a little bit more.

[Kat]

The opposite.

[Amy]

Yeah, I need less alone time and more spontaneity maybe.

[Kat]

Oh, that would be good for you

[Amy]

with a guy

[Kat]

that you didn't meet on hinge.

[Amy]

Right.

[Kat]

And then what are you currently tolerating that needs to change? I think that's probably more about stuff that I'm doing than other people. Like behaviors that I am just like ignoring, like procrastinating or worrying, which I do have a wait to worry moment. We talked about that segment.

[Amy]

Let's get into it. Yeah, we'll do a segment within a segment. We're interrupting this girl dinner for a wait to worry segment.

[Kat]

It's a small one, but since we just talked about it, I thought we should bring it up so then more people can remember to send us their weight to worry moments. But the other day I was getting out of my car and I dropped a fork from lunch underneath my car. So I had a bunch of stuff in my hands. I had to bend down to get it. Seven and a half months pregnant. And so when I, I Ben, I just felt like I squished.

[Amy]

Oh my gosh. Wait, are you gonna tell us you thought that you killed your baby again? I mean, first I electrocuted it and now you've squished it.

[Kat]

Why would you think that's what. Where this is going? Okay, go ahead. Okay.

[Amy]

I don't care. Are you laughing or crying?

[Kat]

I'm laughing.

[Amy]

Crying from laughter.

[Kat]

Not. I'm not like sad. No, no.

[Amy]

You never know.

[Kat]

Yeah, this is a weight to worry moment. So this is. Has a good ending.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

So anyway, that happened. I was like, oh, I shouldn't have done that because it was like I was down under the car, you know, And I can barely tie my shoes these days. So anyway, I go carry on. I act normal. And then I can't sleep that night to the point at about 3:34, I Google, if I bend over too far, can I squish my baby? And Google said no, that there's enough like fluid and stuff that she's fine. But also you can't trust Google all the time. And the reason again, I was really worried is she's very active at night. Like last night I couldn't sleep because she was very active. She was not being active. So I luckily had a doctor's appointment that morning and I did bring it up. They said, did you have any questions? And I said, okay, can I harm the baby by bending over and getting things out from under my car. And she. I did bring her joy, I think, that day. And she said, no, you're fine. And then we listened to the heartbeat. So everything was fine. And I should have waited to worry.

[Amy]

Right?

[Kat]

So just anybody who's pregnant, you can bend and squish. Yeah. But I'm like, is maybe she's fine, but, like, is it uncomfortable for her too? Because I also don't want to hurt her.

[Amy]

Yeah. She's like, oh, what's happening?

[Kat]

Yeah, Like, I didn't like that. Like, sometimes when I'm turning in the night, like, to get comfortable, I'm like, I hope that she's not bothered by this. Then I'm like, you're bothering me.

[Amy]

Right. That's cute, though.

[Kat]

Yeah. So there we go.

[Amy]

Okay. Way to worry.

[Kat]

Wait to worry.

[Amy]

You had nothing to worry about. She was fine.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Okay. What do you keep saying that you'll do, but you haven't. Okay, quick break. This is for any parent or caregiver of a child that experiences allergic reactions from food, medicine, insects or other allergy triggers. This time of year can feel like a lot. Summer activities, camps, travel, and getting ready for back to school. You're doing everything to make sure that your child is safe wherever you are. Educating coaches, teachers, other parents on your child's allergy, scheduling doctor's appointments, filling out camp and school forms, and the million other things that come with managing your child's allergies. But at some point, you have to trust that they'll be okay if an allergic reaction happens when you aren't there. Which is why I want to tell you about nefi, the only needle free epinephrine nasal spray for those who weigh 33 pounds or more. And it's used for the emergency treatment of allergic reactions, including anaphylaxis. 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[Kat]

Well, that goes to the question I just answered. If, like that's what I.

[Amy]

You mean, stop worrying.

[Kat]

No, the. What are you currently. Currently tolerating that, you know, needs to change and it's. I'm tolerating my own procrastination.

[Amy]

Right. Oh, I thought you also said to your. Some of your anxiety.

[Kat]

Oh, yeah, I would like.

[Amy]

Because like you're worried.

[Kat]

Yeah, both of those things. Yeah. What do I keep saying that I'll do but I haven't done?

[Amy]

I have that invention that I want to make really bad.

[Kat]

Which one though? The.

[Amy]

The for the head. Yeah, that one. I know I have a few ideas that come to me and it's just finding the. The time and then. And then I say to myself, well, I guess I don't want it bad enough because other people stay up all night building their dreams and I'm going to bed. So do I not want it as much as the person that's staying up all night?

[Kat]

Like it doesn't really excite you that much.

[Amy]

Maybe not. So maybe we're just not there yet. Yeah, maybe it will one day. But right now I'd rather take my shower and go to bed. But one thing I do procrastinate a lot is getting in the Shower, which

[Kat]

blows my mind because I love, love.

[Amy]

I love taking a shower too. Once I get in, I don't want to get out.

[Kat]

Right.

[Amy]

But like I struggle. It's because I. It's not just like, oh, go take a shower. It's like, okay, I gotta go do my wipes to. Because I double cleanse on my face, but I don't with soap. I do the. That water, my cellular water. So I have to. Step one of my shower is I do that on my face, my neck and my chest because I've got sunscreen on all of that. And so that's step one. Step two, turn on the shower to put on my shower cap, get in the shower, do my glycolic acid body wash with my African rag scrub thing, which gotten my skin really smooth. Let me tell you the combo for rough skin. Like I had some bumps under my arms and bumps on the side of my legs. Glycolic acid body wash with one of those African cloths. Just Google it.

[Kat]

So what if you didn't have to take an everything shower every time you showered?

[Amy]

That's not everything though. That's not an everything shower. An everything shower is shampoo, conditioner, shaving. Yeah, this is just body wash.

[Kat]

Okay, well. And your face and then turning on the shower was a step for you.

[Amy]

It's a step. We have to wait for it to get the right temperature. Then I do my. I normally brush my teeth in the shower. That's probably one of the, one of the first things that I do. What is that weird?

[Kat]

Do you have two toothbrushes?

[Amy]

No, I just take it with me.

[Kat]

Oh, I would forget it and then I would be annoyed, but it's right there.

[Amy]

Is your shower really far?

[Kat]

You know when you have to like get out of the show? Like sometimes I forget my face wash. So I bought two face washes. You have to get out of the shower and then you drip water everywhere cold.

[Amy]

I have a window ledge that sometimes I'll lay it on the ledge and that's reachable without from any point of the. Like if I was putting it where my shampoo and stuff is, that would be a little bit around the corner. But the window ledge, that does me a solid. So I get that. So brushing my teeth then. Then you get out of the shower and you have to pat dry. Then you have to start your lotion routine.

[Kat]

Oh my God.

[Amy]

And you're what?

[Kat]

You don't have to.

[Amy]

Yes, I do. Okay, well, have you seen my dry skin? Well, absolutely. 45 year old me is mad at 30 year old me.

[Kat]

So I should be doing that every time. But I. I guess my thought is maybe if that overwhelms you sometimes so you don't want to do it. Sometimes you just are like, well, I don't have to do every step.

[Amy]

No, all of the steps I just named to you must be done.

[Kat]

Okay, okay, Forget that.

[Amy]

Like that's not gonna be. Why would I. Even then my brain is like, why. If you're not going to do it right? Why would I. Why would I get Right.

[Kat]

Don't do it.

[Amy]

Why would I go back to the way I used to be where I would get out of the shower and not put lotion on? Yeah, I used to do that.

[Kat]

Well, I think I do that.

[Amy]

I know, but see, this is the thing. You're not in your 40s yet. You think you're using your skin's like, which your skin is different than mine already. Like you already have more olive, like plump, juicy, good skin. Mine's not. Mine's crepey thin. And. And then if it's a self tandem.

[Kat]

Oh, gosh. Oh, yeah. Okay, so you're gonna. Are you gonna take more showers or.

[Amy]

No, I. I still do it. I'm just saying that's the thing. I procrastinate. And if I didn't procrastinate, then I would be. My shower would already be done.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

But instead I'll sit in my room and like, put other things away. Or wait till like say I go up to my room at 9pm to shower and then get in bed. Well, it'll be 9:30 because I don't want to go do all those steps. I'll find other things to do. Yeah, and then that's just like what I could already be done.

[Kat]

Okay, well, I'm gonna hold you to this.

[Amy]

You don't like my shower routine, huh?

[Kat]

No, I do. I was trying to be helpful.

[Amy]

You know what I saw some girls do? They were probably having a little girl dinner get together, and they all filmed themselves. They were fully clothed. They. This popped up on my. This is probably what I was watching on Instagram as I was procrastinating, taking a shower. But they all demonstrated how they towel off when they get out of the shower. And so they had a towel. Again, they're clothed, but it was like, okay, here's the towel. What do you do? And they each have a different routine. Like, some girls start with their arms. Others start with drying off their legs. Others like drape it around this way. And how they do their hair Towel. Like, everybody had a different method.

[Kat]

Do you dry off before you get out?

[Amy]

Well, I have to get out to get my towel. And then sometimes I'll step back in. But you know how my shower. I don't have a shower door. I just have glass that kind of just has an opening.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

So I'm.

[Kat]

I had a roommate in college. I love her. She's a wonderful person. But we always would laugh because she would get out of the shower every single time completely soaking wet and then go, like, find her towel. I mean, the. We had like an inch of water on our floor every time she got out of the shower. But she just, like, she couldn't change her behavior no matter how many times we were, like, laughing about. And sometimes it was annoying, but mostly it was just funny. But she just couldn't get like. I'm like, what? But. But you could just do it in there. You could just take the towel and then you don't get cold. It's not what she wanted. Anyway.

[Amy]

Well, before we move off our shower body talk, I will say another thing that I've been putting on my skin with the lotion that I'm putting on at night is a. Has retinol in it. And I think I got. What's that brand? Like, Martha's Choice or Mary's Choice or, you know, I don't know, Cindy's Choice. It's like a girl's name and a choice. I think you can get it at Target. I think I ordered on Amazon. I've liked it, but I'm running out a lot faster. Like, the bottle wasn't as big as I thought. So I saw a dermatologist pop up on my feed and said that the Gold Bond one was really good with retinol. Maybe Survey has one. So I'm going to do some shopping for that. But that's what I've been putting on. And my skin is. Between the glycolic acid body wash and the African scrubber thingy and the retinol lotion, my skin is getting smoother and I've been consistent. And when you see results, you don't want to quit. So that's why I'm not going to my routine.

[Kat]

That's okay. I was just trying to help you. But if you. If it's working for you, that's fine. Thank you. I just had a thought. Would this be weird if you sent me your shower routine and I put it in the newsletter with the products that you use?

[Amy]

Sure.

[Kat]

Like, I think, because that's hard for People to hear that and remember. So if you.

[Amy]

Yeah, I'll send it to you and put it in the newsletter because it has helped my bumps.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

I will say it's like the bumps were there. And I was like, is this even working? Is this even working? Like, oh, I still feel the bumps. And then one day you're just like, this is working. Yeah, I don't feel the bumps. So you got to give it a minute. But just stay the course.

[Kat]

Stay the course.

[Amy]

And I'll. Everything that I started to do, it was a. From repetition of seeing different dermatologists in my feed and not just one multiple saying, this type of body wash, this type of lotion, and not just one particular brand, just the ingredients that are in X, Y, Z body wash and X, Y, Z lotion. So that's why I'm also kind of sampling, like, okay, I tried this round, and next round I'll go buy a different brand to see if it lasts me longer or the price point. And that's what I love, too, about some of these dermatologists that I'm following is they're like, guys, this is like drugstore stuff. Like, you can find. This isn't anything crazy. You don't need to be spending a ton of money. But, like, if this is your problem, this is your solution. And I'm like, okay, thank you.

[Kat]

Well, send me that because that could be riveting stuff.

[Amy]

I know.

[Kat]

And then it's going to make more people sign up for our newsletter, which you can do that by going to the link in our show notes.

[Amy]

Okay. Yeah. This show that you're listening to right now.

[Kat]

Yes.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Okay. Well, what do you actually want the next year of your life to look like? That is a. I don't know if I'm prepared for that one, but I want it to look like a baby.

[Amy]

You're going to have a baby. Yours is going to be full of all kinds of new things.

[Kat]

But I want it to look still full and have it full in a different way because we are getting closer. And what I always thought about people who were pregnant as I. I always was like, I bet they just, like, want that baby to stay in there because, like, as soon as it comes out, like, their life is just completely changed. And kind of like, sometimes I would be like, their life's kind of over, like, as they know it, which it is. But now my. I'm pregnant and I'm like, I can't wait for this baby to come out, actually. And I want. Because our life will be Different. We won't be traveling as much. We won't be able to just go out and do things when, like, because I'm older, having my first child, I think myself as older having my first child. I'm 36. I. I think it might be a little harder for me to adjust because I've lived so much of my adult life doing whatever I want, whenever I want it. So I hope my life still looks full, but just in a different way.

[Amy]

Yeah. You know, and it will. And I'm excited for her to come out. I want to meet her, and it makes me to. I. You know, I've always wanted one inside of me, and I don't know that I'll ever get that. And that's fine, but it does make me, like. I have no idea what it feels like to, like, feel like you squished a baby, you know?

[Kat]

Yeah. It feels really weird. I asked Patrick if he would give birth if he was able to.

[Amy]

What'd he say?

[Kat]

He said he would be interested in feeling what it's like for a day, but he doesn't want to do it. Right.

[Amy]

Cool. Cool. I think for the next year of my life, just have more parties.

[Kat]

What kind of party?

[Amy]

I don't know. Like, a barbecue.

[Kat]

This is, like, this really deep question at our girl dinner, and it's like, what do you want the next year of your life to look like? And Amy's like, I'm just, like, really wanting to have more barbecues.

[Amy]

Yeah. Like, have people over.

[Kat]

Have you ever had a barbecue? Yes.

[Amy]

Well, when I was married, I've known you. Yeah, right. But that's what I think. And I was talking to another friend about this just this week about if. Is it. Is it because I don't have a partner, or is it because I want to do some work in my yard and change some things to make my backyard a little more inviting and, like, things to do, like, to where you want to sit out there and

[Kat]

gather and barbecue.

[Amy]

Yeah. Party friendly. And I. And is it. Is it that my. I don't feel like my backyard welcomes that, or is it that I don't have a partner that helps with putting on something like that? Because Ben and I had people over a lot when we lived in North Carolina, when we lived in East Nashville. It probably changed once. Like, after Covid, just things never got back to kind of that. But we would host all kinds. We would have people over. It would be even last minute, and we'd have 30 people at our house, and he would grill, and everybody would just spring aside. I would make a big thing of queso and everybody would like, come over.

[Kat]

Okay. I'm down for. I would love for you to have more parties.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Although I am trying to have more alone time, so I might not come.

[Amy]

You'll come. And you'll bring the baby.

[Kat]

Just kidding. I'll come.

[Amy]

I'll come.

[Kat]

You're good. Okay. But you've had a couple small gatherings.

[Amy]

Have I? A baby shower is different. That's like a planned function. I'm talking about a spontaneous, like, Saturday. Hey, let's all hang.

[Kat]

Okay. Okay.

[Amy]

Yeah. It's a no reason party. Okay.

[Kat]

I want you to have these and you could be like, I'm having a barbecue. Invite whoever. Guess who might show up.

[Amy]

A friend of a friend of a friend who's single.

[Kat]

Yeah. Yes.

[Amy]

Yeah. Okay, quick break. This is for any parent or caregiver of a child that experiences allergic reactions from food, medicine, insects or other allergy triggers. This time of year can feel like a lot. Summer activities, camps, travel, and getting ready for back to school. You're doing everything to make sure that your child is safe wherever you are. Educating coaches, teachers, other parents on your child's allergy, scheduling doctor's appointments, filling out camp and school forms, and the million other things that come with managing your child's allergies. But at some point, you have to trust that they'll be okay if an allergic reaction happens when you aren't there. Which is why I want to tell you about nefi, the only needle free epinephrine nasal spray for those who weigh 33 pounds or more. It's used for the emergency treatment of allergic reactions, including anaphylaxis. NEFI works as well as a needle injector and delivers the same trusted epinephrine. It's designed to be safe and easy to use at first sign of symptoms. So in a high stress moment, your child or someone else can act quickly, quickly to treat an allergic reaction, even if you're not there. NEFI is also small, discreet and easy to carry, including in a backpack, lunchbox or sports bag, so your child is prepared anywhere the day takes them. Pay as little as $0 for at least four Nefi devices, two packs through the Copay Savings program with commercial insurance. If eligible patients should not pay more than $199 for NEFI. If you have medical conditions or take certain medicines, your condition may worsen. Tell your doctor about nasal heart, thyroid or kidney issues, high blood pressure, Parkinson's, diabetes. If you're pregnant or breastfeeding and all medications. Side effects include nasal discomfort, headache, runny nose, shakiness and throat irritation. These are not all side effects. Does your child need a new epinephrine prescription or refill? Don't wait. Ask a doctor about needle free Nephi today. Visit neffy.com or call 877-my-nephy to learn more. That's n-e F-F-Y.com I love my dog, but her breath not so much. But I found something that works for both of us. I give her a Greenies dental treat every single day and she cannot get enough. And here's what won me over. These are more than just tasty treats. Greenies Dental treats are an easy way to give your dog clinically proven oral care and and are designed to support the four areas that vets check the plaque, tartar, gums and breath. The unique texture cleans down to the gum line to support cleaner teeth after 28 days when fed daily. They're a vet recommended dental treat made with natural ingredients plus vitamins, minerals and nutrients. Rawhide free, easy to chew and digest and the unique flexible texture makes them bendable so they won't stick nap Honestly, Greenies Dental treats are the best part of my dog Cara's Day. Start your dog's oral care routine today, including a daily Greenies dental treat and turn health into something pets can't help but love. Greenies make health a treat. Shop [e-mail] Health insurance should make getting care easier, but sometimes it can feel like the opposite. That's why UnitedHealthcare is committed to putting care at the heart of health insurance, with empathy, transparency and real human connection? I mean, doesn't care feel different when it's personal? When you can tell that the person on the other end of the phone, the screen and the Service genuinely cares? UnitedHealthcare is working to make that happen every day. They're also helping people make healthcare decisions with confidence, giving them the information they need to better understand their benefits, costs and claims. Because UnitedHealthcare knows when you understand that stuff, you can better get the care you and your family need. You know, care can show up in a lot of ways, and everyone at UnitedHealthcare is committed to bringing it every day. Learn more about how UnitedHealthcare is committed to [e-mail] care in business, there's no room for guesswork. Every shipment matters. Every deadline counts. When you're trying to keep operations running smoothly, the last thing you need is uncertainty. That's why reliability is at the core of USPS Ground Advantage. From the moment your package is first scanned in, it moves through a secure nationwide network, aiding in a timely and accurate delivery. You get near real time tracking so you can keep up with your shipments. And with affordable upfront pricing, there are no hidden fees or surprise surcharges to throw off your cost sheets. It all adds up to predictable deliveries you can depend on, because knowing your logistics are handled lets you focus on everything else. Your customers, your team, and the future that you're building. Visit USPS.com ground advantage to start shipping with confidence. USPS ground advantage.

[Kat]

Okay, I like that.

[Amy]

Okay, so the final question at the. What the hell are we doing with our lives? Girl, Girls dinner. What would you go after if you knew every woman here had your back? My invention.

[Kat]

You think?

[Amy]

I'm just kidding. But if everybody. If everybody had my back and they want to help me sew it and

[Kat]

sell it, maybe then maybe it would be. I thought of that question differently. I thought of. Of, like, what confrontation would I have?

[Amy]

Oh, really? Versus, like, oh, like, have your back in, like, a big, bold move?

[Kat]

Yeah. What thing? What would I do?

[Amy]

Oh, I was thinking, like, a career move. Like, I've been working on my keynote. Like, am I gonna finally, like, try to go out there if I know I've got, like, y', all and we

[Kat]

would all support you and go and like, yes. Have a sign. Okay, well, maybe that. Is that what you want to go with your keynote? You're gonna do it anyway.

[Amy]

What would you go after if every woman here had your back? I mean, I'm gonna do that anyway, so I guess that's not a fair because, like, I am going, so it's more of challenging yourself. Of what are you not doing that you've always wanted to do, but if

[Kat]

you had support, you would do it.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

This is kind of hard because I do feel like I have support.

[Amy]

So who do you need to confront? Like, we got your back. What's up?

[Kat]

I don't think I. I have some. But that's just where my brain went when they said, like, have your back.

[Amy]

Well, I know, but that makes me think there is someone in your brain. Brain that you're looking to, like, confront.

[Kat]

Well, you know, there's a lot of people I would confront, but it's not worth it. Okay. You know. You know, there's a lot of things in my head that I keep there because there wouldn't be. Maybe I need to confront the girl that cut my hair lopsided 20 years ago.

[Amy]

I think you can let that one go. I am shocked that you didn't ask her how long she was going to be gone.

[Kat]

I think I just thought she was going to a party. And I was like, you have a baby so surely you won't be there that long.

[Amy]

So like how did you. I mean, yeah, like what did the baby go to bed?

[Kat]

I remember this is so long ago. I remember trying to put cuz she brought her like a pack and play. He, he wouldn't sleep or he slept for like 10 minutes. Then I remember him, me like holding him on my chest. And then I remember going down to my parents room being like mom. Because I was at my parents over Christmas break and I was like, mom, the baby won't go to sleep, it's crying. And she was like, that's what babies do. And so I went back upstairs. I think I probably cried. I, I didn't know how to soothe a baby. I was probably, I probably was 19 years old.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

Hopefully we'll do better.

[Amy]

Yeah, you'll do better. You'll figure it out.

[Kat]

So I don't know what I would do if I, if every woman had my back, maybe I would do something crazy. Like I would start the date, the dating. But I kind of want to work less. So that's also what my, I want. My. This goes back to another question. Like I want my life to look different, like full in a different way. I've been slowly changing the way that I, I work and being okay with filling my life up with other things other than just working.

[Amy]

Because you were working so much for so long.

[Kat]

Yeah, I, before I knew you. Well, actually it's probably when I first met you. I was. When did I meet you?

[Amy]

2020.

[Kat]

Okay, so it was right before then when I was, I was, it was pre.

[Amy]

Covered though.

[Kat]

Yes. Okay. Yeah, I was teaching then. This was that I was teaching 10 to 12 cycling classes a week. Plus I was seeing 20 to 30 clients a week. Plus I was doing group therapy. Plus I was starting a podcast. Like I sometimes would work from 5:30 to 8 or 9. But it felt fulfilling to me. Like I didn't, I didn't dread it. Like I was busy but it felt really fulfilling. But slowly as my life has shifted, other things are filling me up and so I'm moving some things out of the way.

[Amy]

Yeah. Your full looks different and which. Yeah, you are making some shifts in work which I. Speaking of you being a therapist, I've questions that don't come up.

[Kat]

Yes.

[Amy]

Do you ever lie about what you do to avoid having to use your profession. Like, say someone sits down next to you on an airplane, and it's a long flight, and they may end up wanting therapy advice. If they're like, hey, what do you do? And you're like, I'm a therapist.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Do you ever just say, oh, I work in mental health. I work with people. I work with people. So you could say there was a point in your life where you could be like, I'm a spin instructor, and leave it up. Yes.

[Kat]

Yeah. So I was gonna say, I. First of all, I hope on an airplane, nobody does that, especially a long flight. You mean I do not like talking to people on an airplane.

[Amy]

You mean asks you what you do or would ask you for advice, Learning what you do.

[Kat]

Okay. Oh, for sure. Both. I think I have learned to be careful. Yeah. How I say what I do. I stopped when I was on the dating apps. I took it off my profile. I said I was a business owner. And then if I went on a date with them, then I would probably tell them, like, Patrick had no idea what I did before we met.

[Amy]

Okay, so why did you have to do that?

[Kat]

Because I feel like it would either deter people or it would attract people just because of my job. And I was getting. I was. How do I say this? I feel like there was a lot of instability in some of the people I was going on dates with, and I felt very often that they just needed to talk. Like, one date. One of the last two of the worst dates I've ever been on were the two dates before I met Patrick. They were in the same weekend. I was really going for it. And the first one, a very nice guy. And I got his beginning birth to where he was that day. Detail of his life, his mental health journey, the treatment he has gone through, the therapy he has done, the people he has had in and out of his life, all. Everything. What do you think he knew about me?

[Amy]

Nothing.

[Kat]

Not a thing. So when this man went to the bathroom, I got the check and paid for it. I gotta go. Oh, I said it nicely. He also.

[Amy]

He came back from the bathroom, and you're like, bill's paid. I'm leaving.

[Kat]

He said, he came back from the bathroom, and I was like, oh, I paid it. He was like, oh, my gosh, you didn't have to do that. And I was like, oh, I don't mind. But I was like, we will be here forever if he's gonna pay this bill. And we went and had, like, a full meal. So, I mean, I. I honestly was like, I Don't care. I will pay for this to get out. I, I, I have a lot of compassion for him because he has a, like, tough story. And, and I was on a date. Like, I was on a date. I wanted somebody to be interested in me. And I think he was interested in what it felt like. He was interested in what I could do for him.

[Amy]

Okay, got it.

[Kat]

The next day I got on a date with a guy who was also in the same. Well, I'll say this. He was studying to be a therapist, so I had never, I've never wanted to date a therapist because I feel like that's like a lot. Yeah.

[Amy]

To date a therapist.

[Kat]

Yes. And I'm a therapist. I just feel like it's a lot

[Amy]

like some people might think that about me.

[Kat]

Yes. Which also is why I took it off. Because I'm like, I think some people, before they get to know me, they have this preconceived idea of what I'm going to be like. So I go on this date with this guy and, and it lasts maybe 35 minutes. It was probably one of the shortest dates I've ever been on.

[Amy]

35 minutes. Is that a record for me?

[Kat]

Yes.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

Because usually I feel kind of guilty leaving that early, so I'm like, I'll drag it on. But he had, he, he was previously married. Again, this is another situation where he knew nothing about me after we left this date, but I knew very intimate details about his life, including why he got divorced. I don't even know if I can say it.

[Amy]

Well, why would. Wait, it's not hipaa.

[Kat]

I know, but it's my, It's a little inappropriate.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

With little ears.

[Amy]

Oh, what? So, so you want me to whisper it? Well, let me see. Give it to me in code and then I'll see. How, how could you tell me? As your friend, I'll just say it

[Kat]

and if we need to edit it out, we can.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

He had walked.

[Amy]

No, I want to do it. This is a game.

[Kat]

Okay.

[Amy]

This is a game.

[Kat]

He.

[Amy]

What you tell me in the most.

[Kat]

He.

[Amy]

Okay. He walked in. In. Oh, he, he, he, he's a crossdresser. Wait, did he. He walked in on his wife. Huh? He walked in on his wife having a relationship with somebody else. Oh. Another woman. Oh, wow. So he. Multiple people. Oh, a wow.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Okay, so that was really good.

[Kat]

Thank you.

[Amy]

Well, I mean, once I got past it. You weren't trying to do that. He was like cross dressing.

[Kat]

That would have been fine. Honestly, it's like I, So he.

[Amy]

That Was his experience was he was married and then walked in on his wife in a situation with multiple people.

[Kat]

Which is fine. I mean, not fine, but, like, that's not his fault. And this was in the. He told me this within the. Our date was 35 minutes. So I was just curious, why is this the beginning of our date? Right.

[Amy]

But how does it end in 35 minutes?

[Kat]

So we went to a brewery. A brewery. And I don't like beer.

[Amy]

I thought y' all went through a drive through. But also, we sat.

[Kat]

We sat at the bar. And I hate on first date sitting at the bar when they're small bars, because then the bartenders can hear you, you know?

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

They're like, they're on a first date. And I could only imagine what these bartenders were thinking, because I'm sitting there being like, oh, that's. That must have been really hard. I think what it was. It's not that, like, that happened to him, and he shared that with me. It's that I don't know you yet to know these intimate details of your life. But because I'm a therapist, my. My assumption is they think that I'm okay with it.

[Amy]

Right.

[Kat]

But I want to be treated like anybody else. Where you're like, tell me about where you grew up, or literally, what do you do for a living? Like, and then I could say, I'm a spin instructor, and we could talk about that. So I think that's what really bothered me about those situations. And this guy. We were not a fit. So how did it end? I think we had. I. I drank a beer, which I. I wouldn't normally do. And then I think I said, like, okay, well, we can get the check. Because I wasn't gonna have another one. I think the bartender asked, do you want another? And I was like, no, we'll take the check. And then we left. I don't think he was having a good time either.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

So, I mean, he. We never talked again after that. But also, can you imagine? This is also my thought is like. And maybe I'm just a little slower to open up. But can you imagine going on. I mean, he's dating on the dating apps. He's going on multiple dates. Do you share this with everybody? And then you just never talk to them again? That is interesting to me.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Kat]

So I hope he's found love. I don't think he was a bad guy. I just did it.

[Amy]

Just a little cringe that he offered that up, like, right away, versus trying

[Kat]

to know anything about me. So, yes, I do not tell people. And I think towards the end of dating, I would start with the I teach fitness classes versus I'm a therapist. Therapist.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Kat]

That was a long way to answer that question. I feel like you should answer that

[Amy]

too, because, you know, because no one's gonna ask me for. I was thinking the question doesn't come up because you on an airplane, like, I see that for like, doctors, therapists, like financial advisors. Like, who can you sit next to that you can soak all this wisdom up from. On a two hour flight.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

And then get. For like, free advice. Like, oh, if you're. So you learn you're sitting next to a doctor, you're like, oh, man. So I have this, like, rash on my leg. And then you start showing them and

[Kat]

they're like, okay, well, I will say this because I don't want it to come off this way for people in my life. Like, I don't mind them being like, I want to pick your brain.

[Amy]

Yeah. Like, for example, yesterday I said I was sharing something with you where I felt sad, and you listened as a friend. And then you g. You texted me a response that was really helpful. And it was. A normal person probably wouldn't say no. I think a normal person could. But I think it was your therapy background coming in because you were reminding me that feeling sad is good and it's giving me information.

[Kat]

Yeah.

[Amy]

And so it's okay to feel sad and to take the information that I'm getting from the feeling. And you wrote a little bit more and. But I'm not going to disclose all of the details. It just was very helpful. But I do think it was like therapy side of you. Like, if I was sitting in a session with you as a paying client, I think I would sit said, well, this happened to me and I'm feeling sad. And you would have given a similar response. I do think any friend could have said that if therapy is not their job. But you delivered it in a way that's like, oh, yeah, you helped me through that moment. And I, I wasn't. But I wasn't using you for that because you also.

[Kat]

That's not like what our friendship is based off of. Yeah. And if somebody like, needed. If somebody in my life or my family had like a crisis and needed help figuring something out that I could help, I would want to help them with that. I wouldn't be like, oh, you just start calling me because I'm a therapist. I'm like, yeah, they would. They are calling me because I'm a Therapist. But also, this is what people do for each other. It's just when you. Yeah. When you don't know them specifically. For me, it's more so. Not if the guy on the airplane is gonna be like, oh, well, so me and my wife have been fighting about blah, blah, blah. It's. It was more so I don't want people to attached to me for that. That person I would never see again. So it'd be annoying, but whatever. Versus, you only want to be my friend because you can get something out of me. But that could be for anybody who has any job. Like you were saying for you too. Like, somebody's like, oh, you're on the radio.

[Amy]

You want to hear my song? I mean, like, well, I'm not a person.

[Kat]

You've never. About your.

[Amy]

I mean, I always struggle with what to say. I mean, I don't, I don't, I don't. Sometimes I just say, like, I'm in media. Like, I don't. I don't ever. What's weird? Sometimes I say, yeah, I work in radio. Yeah, I work in media. Oh, and if they ask more questions, then I can give more answers. But I'm not like, let me send

[Kat]

you a link to my show.

[Amy]

Yeah, yeah. So it's like that. It's like that and it's like this.

[Kat]

Is that a song?

[Amy]

It's like this and like that and like this. And who is that? Is that.

[Kat]

I don't.

[Amy]

Well, who is that? I don't know. That song's just in my. It's like this and like that. And you don't know that song? I don't know. Just sometimes, you know when you have a saying and then a song pops into your head, it's like this and like that and like this. And is I cringe? Because I. I will. I can close with six rules to avoid being cringe.

[Kat]

We need those.

[Amy]

Just make sure anybody that's listening to the podcast, you don't do any of these six things because our listeners are not cringe and neither are we, so we have to avoid these as well. One, use the speakerphone in public. Two, comment on someone else's weight gain or weight loss. Three, call someone more than twice in a row.

[Kat]

Well, been there.

[Amy]

We need to get a hold of somebody. Four, show up uninvited or without notice. I mean, I don't mind a little pop in. Five, get on the elevator before allowing people to get off first.

[Kat]

That's actually cringe, cringe.

[Amy]

Six, scroll through someone's photos. If they hand you Their phone.

[Kat]

Wait, why would you do that?

[Amy]

I don't know. That's cringe. Do you know the story of one time where Stevenson was handed. A guy was doing work at my house and listened to the show and then wanted a picture with me. So the only other person at my house was Stevenson to take the picture. And Stevenson got his phone and Stevenson didn't click on his photos. It, like, just went to the guy's photos and then Stevenson's like, it's not on the camera. It's not on the camera. And then when he left, because Stevenson saw photos he had taken of himself, like in his photo log, where he was like. And we were like, it was so embarrassing. I didn't.

[Kat]

I mean, it was not that long ago.

[Amy]

This was a long time ago. But he was an adult who held. Was who the man or Stevenson? He was maybe 10 or 11.

[Kat]

Poor guy.

[Amy]

And this was like, how did you handle that? I didn't say anything.

[Kat]

I didn't know when, after where he left. And Stevenson was like, this is what I saw.

[Amy]

I mean, I went over and was trying to, like, help him. So I don't even know if Stevenson noticed, like, for sure. For sure. Like, these are what those kinds of pictures are.

[Kat]

Oh, you saw it?

[Amy]

Well, we saw it, but I don't think Steve. I mean, Stevenson was laughing, but I don't think he registered that. Like, maybe this man took those for his woman. His.

[Kat]

His date? No,

[Amy]

his.

[Kat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Amy]

His wife, you know, or his girlfriend or his wife. I don't know. Yeah, but there was like a mirror, a sheet.

[Kat]

That's cringe.

[Amy]

That's cringe. Okay, so there you go. That's it. That's what's all.

[Kat]

That's a good way to end.

[Amy]

That's all we got. That's all she wrote. You can hit us up. Hey there. At feeling things podcast.com you can send in your thoughts, emails, questions, stories, for couch talks, for sure. And then you can also call and leave us a voicemail. 877-20720. And thanks for listening. We hope you have the day you need to have. Bye. Bye. There's a lot of talk about self care, but for anyone balancing work, family and everything else, real self care means getting through the day without aches or pain holding them back. A simple check in with a physical therapist can help. Physical therapy helps people move better for all the moments that matter. And it can help them stay ahead of nagging issues before they snowball. Feeling good doesn't have to be a luxury It's a smart choice for long term health. Learn more and find a local physical [e-mail] that's choosept.com all right, I love my dog, but her breath? Not so much. That's why I give her a daily Greenies dental treat. They're vet recommended and designed to support the four areas that vets check the most plaque, tartar gums and breath. The unique texture cleans down to the gum line to support cleaner teeth after 28 days when fed daily. Start your dog's oral care routine today, including a daily Greenies dental treat and turn health into something pets can't help but to love. Greenies make health a treat. Shop [e-mail] Honestly, honestly, honestly no one

[Kat]

wants to think about HIV, but there are things that everyone can do to help prevent it. Things like prep. PREP stands for Pre Exposure Prophylaxis and it means routinely taking prescription medicine before you're exposed to HIV to help reduce your chances of getting it. Prep can be about 99% effective when taken as prescribed. It doesn't protect against other STIs, though, so be sure to use condoms and other healthy sex practices. Ask a healthcare provider about all your prevention Options and visit findoutaboutprep.com to learn more. Sponsored by Gilead the breakup no one

[Amy]

saw coming has hit the freezer aisle. Cherry, Orange and Grape Popsicle Ice Pops are going solo. Now fans must pick a side and help crown the flavorfut champion with a chance to earn a long term solo spot on freezer shelves. Pick up the Cherry, Orange and Grape Popsicle Ice Pop variety pack to experience all three iconic flavors and decide where your loyalty lies. And then vote by shouting out your favorite on Social. And don't forget to follow the flavorfood drama all summer long on Instagram.

[Kat]

Opsicle this is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.