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- [00:12]
Granger Smith
Welcome back to the podcast. Thank you guys for being here for a very rare time. We have two, two guests and both of them are my relatives. Do I count you as a relative?
- [00:26]
Amber
I mean, I technically am your media family now.
- [00:28]
Granger Smith
That's a relative.
- [00:29]
Colin
I guess she's pretty relative.
- [00:33]
Granger Smith
Okay. I got Amber, my wife, and then I got Amber's brother, my brother in law, Colin. And so we're going to answer your questions. That's what we do on this podcast. You email me podcastrangersmith.com Antman puts them together, we walk through them and I plan on doing that. And I also plan on straying a little bit from that pattern because we have the opportunity to have Colin, which I think is, is going to be a fantastic guest here and a really good resource in answering some of these questions. And partly that's just because I love you and you're one of my best friends, but also because you've also you have unique life experience that I don't have. Everyone brings to the table something. Not this table, but everyone, everyone listening brings some kind of unique life experience to the table that I cannot relate to and you can't relate to mine. But because it's all relative, we can come at questions as we hear them with a little bit different perspective. And I think that's important in all three of us will be also becoming from a biblical perspective. So as long as we have that, then the different ways that life has come at us, us three, I think will be unique in answering. And Colin is, it's such an interesting guest to have because as long as I've done this podcast since 2017, many of those years, you would have been like some of the toughest questions in this podcast and you would have been one of the ones that if I would have read, if you would have written in here, for instance, two years ago, no, five years ago, we'll say, and I would have read it. This would have been one of the questions where people go, oh man, that's going to be a long road for that guy. That's going to be tough for that guy to, to come out of this being okay.
- [02:36]
Colin
Yeah, I agree.
- [02:37]
Granger Smith
When I met you, you were roommates with this girl that I was kind of dating, courting, and the first time I visited you, you were the roommate and I met you.
- [02:49]
Colin
Yeah.
- [02:50]
Granger Smith
Which is sort of intimidating because you're, you know, like 6, 10 and 350 pounds.
- [02:55]
Colin
Yeah, yeah.
- [02:56]
Granger Smith
No, not really. What are you like 6, 5, 6.
- [02:58]
Colin
4, 6, 4, 2, 6?
- [03:00]
Granger Smith
I gave you an extra inch I appreciate that.
- [03:01]
Colin
I should have taken it. I should have just rolled with it.
- [03:06]
Granger Smith
But we got along instantly because you're. Everyone likes you. You're. You're always fun to be around. You're always the life of the party. So we. You had a girlfriend at the time, and I started dating Amber. So we were. It was like an easy, instant double date. We did a lot of things together in. In those early years. And you being the life of the party was also part of your problem.
- [03:29]
Colin
Absolutely.
- [03:30]
Granger Smith
Which I didn't realize at the time. But the part that was so likable about you was the part that the world abused. And you partook. Is that a word? You partook in it. In the abuse that the. The world is like, hey, let's bring this guy in. You know, let's invite this guy.
- [03:50]
Colin
Yeah.
- [03:51]
Granger Smith
So I honestly don't know where to start besides the fact that your life is completely different now. Coming out of addiction, probably, you could say multiple types of addiction. And there's. There. There is multiple casualties in the fallout of that in the form of different children, different mamas. Like, so many of these questions. Like, you know, but the reason it's. Like I said, it's so fascinating is because here you are sitting in a really good place, and that's what makes it different, is I could. I could read all these questions all day long, and then I got sitting at the end of this table right now, a dude that's lived it and now could speak back to it and go, I know, man. I was there. I was there. Here's where I am now. Where do I start, Amber, with this?
- [04:54]
Amber
Well, I was just going to say you could do a.
- [04:57]
Granger Smith
Being so vague right now, a quick.
- [04:59]
Amber
Give Colin a quick minute or so just to do, like, where were you five years ago? And then, where are you now?
- [05:05]
Granger Smith
I can't do that.
- [05:05]
Amber
No.
- [05:06]
Granger Smith
That's the worst question ever for country music stars. So for those of you that don't know, Granger, tell us a little bit about yourself.
- [05:14]
Amber
So I was trying to have him do, like, a quick gist of why, where was he and where is he now? But I don't know. That might even be hard for him to sum up in five years.
- [05:23]
Colin
Well, I could probably just kind of give the. The short answer here is there's only one way out of where I was, and that's, you know, through God. That's it. That's the only way that I was to get out of there alive. And I just had to basically get on my knees and just Give up totally and figure out that the, the absolute only way for me to come out of this hell is through Jesus Christ. And once I finally just gave up, surrendered, fully surrendered, because I've tried to do it my way, and I've tried to say, yeah, I'll. I'll surrender, but. Or I'll do these things, but once I fully just let go, and I know it's cliche, but let go and let God, it was. It was everything. I felt a change immediately, internally. It wasn't necessarily a burning bush, but that was my burning bush. It was, it was. It was just a. Just a. It's unexplainable just how, how different my mindset was. How different. I picked up the phone for the first time and asked for help. It was the only time I've ever picked up a phone and said, I, I, I need you now. I need you. I need it.
- [06:35]
Granger Smith
Where were you?
- [06:35]
Colin
I was in a hotel off of ulta Mesa, and I. 35 on January 1st of 20 and 22.
- [06:44]
Granger Smith
2.
- [06:45]
Colin
Yeah, 20 and 22. And I had been gone for, I think. I think at this point, eight days from my wife and my home and my job. I was in the work truck, wasn't answering my phone, wasn't getting a hold of anybody in a hotel, a place I shouldn't have been, with people I shouldn't have been with, with things I shouldn't have had. And I remember it was like 2 degrees, and I had locked my keys in my truck. And that had to happen because if I hadn't locked my keys in my truck, I wouldn't be sitting in this chair right here today. I locked my keys in my truck and I gave up. I got back in the hotel, it was so cold. I'll never forget the day I got on my knees and I begged God, I said, get me out of this. Get me out of this. And I called my wife, I called Shayna, and I said, hey, come get me. I need it. I need help. And she came. I mean, she didn't hesitate.
- [07:43]
Granger Smith
Then what happened?
- [07:44]
Colin
We went to a meeting, an AA meeting, and I'll backtrack a little bit. I was fighting a. A charge that was a couple detectives had called my wife and my mom and were asking to find me. And I was fighting a charge that I was going to court for in March of the same year of 2020. And I was facing a lot of time in prison. And I was scared. I mean, short. Long story short, I was scared. I didn't want to go to prison. I'd been to prison before. They were trying to give me a lot of time. So I know that I wasn't just going to a state jail. I was actually going to a big boy prison. And so I was. I was scared. But we went to a meeting and we started getting things together for the court date, which was in March. So March 13, I got sentenced to five years. And I'll never forget, man, Shayna's face that day. She was crushed because we. We honestly thought that we. There was a chance for probation. But the.
- [08:42]
Granger Smith
What were the charges? For everybody to know.
- [08:44]
Colin
So forgery of a financial instrument was one of the charges. Credit hot checks? Basically, yes. And this was not my first time with these checks. I had been caught in 2018 for the same charge with a credit card abuse charge of using. Well, I had a credit card in my wallet. It wasn't mine. So when I got arrested for the check that was. That I tried to cash, they found the credit card I got. That was the first time I went to prison. Between those times, I had a. A possession under a gram. Charge of a controlled substance. I was. I was addicted to meth, methamphetamines and have been or had been for years prior to that. In and out of rehabs. Seven inpatient rehabs, I think it is total. I think I've completed five of them. In and out of jail for petty crimes, theft, burglary of a habitat. I got arrested in Minnesota for burglary of a habitat. I went up there. I was out of my mind. I don't even remember much of it, but I had taken a passport. I stole a truck up there. Thought I was going to go to Canada during COVID I mean, honestly, what are you really thinking? Like trying to get across the border during COVID with a fake passport? Just out of my mind.
- [10:01]
Granger Smith
I don't think I knew that you.
- [10:02]
Amber
You. You did. It's just.
- [10:04]
Granger Smith
It was a lot.
- [10:05]
Amber
Big mess.
- [10:05]
Colin
Yeah.
- [10:06]
Amber
What I was. I was thinking about when you were saying that was for so many years we tried to save you.
- [10:11]
Colin
Yeah.
- [10:11]
Amber
We tried to get you into ring. We tried to do all this stuff. And finally you had to realize you had to be the one to call, make the call and say, I need help.
- [10:19]
Colin
Yeah. Because the times that I did go to rehab, I will. I. I went to appease the masses, basically.
- [10:25]
Amber
And you're so likable. Everybody loves you. And they're like, oh, he's great.
- [10:27]
Colin
It was a manipulation thing. And I was very good at manipulation. That's probably why I work in sales today. Not saying that I'm a manipulator anymore because there's a fine line between you're good with people, a good salesman. Yeah. And see, that's one of my character defects. I have to know the line of people pleasing and people pleasing. Like there's a manipulation aspect that can go either way with that. And, but I learned so much in the NA program and it is for a lot of, a lot of addicts. Celebrate recovery is for a lot of addicts. There's different programs out there for a lot of addicts. But the thing that, the only thing that worked for me because those programs worked for a time, but the only thing that worked for me was, was getting out of the way of, of God was getting out of the way of his will and realizing that a square peg doesn't fit in a circle hole. So I got to quit trying to do it my way. It doesn't work. It never did work.
- [11:23]
Granger Smith
How did you know that there was a way?
- [11:27]
Colin
I didn't at the time. I just knew that there wasn't any other way and I, nothing was working. And I had never tried and I had never tried that way. So it was a, it was a, I've tried everything else, you know, why not Type of thing. That was the mindset, but it was the, the begging of just get, just, just relieve me of this. And, and there's so much that's wrapped into that of those questions that I begged God for. It was so much of relieve my sister and my family of the mess that I'm putting them in. Relieve my wife of the mess I'm putting her in. Relieve my kids of the abandonment that I, that I created. My, my children's mother didn't take my kids from me. I, I, I won't, I don't want to say gave them away, but I didn't do what I was supposed to do as a father at the time that I was supposed to do it. And I realize that now. And back then I had sour taste in my mouth towards my children's mother and their stepfather because I was still a mess in my own head and a mess in my own way. And now I can't thank them enough for how they've raised those boys. And you know, I do get to have my two younger boys in my life right now. And God's working in my other two boys lives. He is, he's working in their lives, he's working in our lives. And there's going to be some reuniting I've got no doubt in my mind. And it's such a blessing to realize that God is working and to see it behind the scenes without seeing it, if that makes sense, is. It's, it's. It makes me speechless, man.
- [13:13]
Granger Smith
I preached on Psalm 130 last Sunday, and I was studying a little bit of Jonah in that message because the, the psalmist is crying from out of the depths. And we've all had these Jonah moments in our lives. All of us have something. And for you, you know, Jonah, he runs from God. God has a will for his life. He has a purpose for Jonah, and that's to go to Nineveh and preach. And he runs from that because it's Nineveh scary. And he gets on a boat and flees. And God causes this huge storm to hit the boat and everyone on the boat is freaking out. Like, this is awful. This is like the worst storm I've ever seen. And eventually Jonah's like, guys, it's this, it's me. Like, I'm, I'm the reason for the storm. God's chasing me down. He's mad at me. And, and boy, I can relate to that. Yeah. Yeah. That's like kind of what your story sounds like.
- [14:14]
Colin
Yeah.
- [14:15]
Granger Smith
And so basically Jonah's like, just throw me off the boat. I mean, we're all, either we're all going to die, this whole boat's going to go down, or you guys just throw me off.
- [14:25]
Colin
Yeah.
- [14:26]
Granger Smith
And so they throw him off and that's when the fish takes him. You know, God takes them through the fish. And. And then as I'm studying for Psalm 130, it's interesting, I noticed that Jonah doesn't. In the text. Joseph. Jonah doesn't speak to God at all until he's in the belly.
- [14:44]
Colin
Yeah.
- [14:44]
Granger Smith
And it's then it's from out of the depths. From then I'm in the deep. God, please, where are you? Save me. And it's funny that he says that because God's. He knows God's been with him the whole time, just wreaking havoc on his life until he finally surrenders and everyone else on the boat takes all the punishment for it.
- [15:03]
Colin
See, and I think I can relate to that because the twister that I created around my life that had a 30 mile radius to everywhere I went, was just God trying to say, man, stop. Like, sit down. And it was hurting everybody around me because I wasn't seeing it. I wasn't being like Jonah, just saying, hey, throw me off the boat, you know?
- [15:26]
Granger Smith
Well, we don't know how long he. I mean, this might have been days. We don't really know through the text how long he fought it, right? Until. Until finally they were. They were like, what's going on? He's. It's me, guys, it's me. We don't know how long. So you could easily have been just like Jonah. The problem is we need to also read the back half of Jonah, because then he gets in his will like you are now, and hopefully I am. And then he gets to Nineveh, you know, these heathens, and he preaches. He doesn't want to go in there. He's so scared of the city, so scared of all these heathens. And he goes in there and he's like, repent, you know, turn back to God. And all these heathens look at him and they're like, hey, you're right, we should. And then he gets mad. He's like, God should punish these people, these heathens. And God goes, I told you to preach to them. And they turned to me. Now who are you to say I should do what I need to do? So Jonah's like, being Jonah again. Anyway, you have a wild story, and it's. It's so interesting to. To hear that. And you and I have talked about your prison experience. We sat around the campfire last night, which is what this. I always say, this podcast is about, sitting around campfire, talking. But you were. You've told me many, so many stories about your prison experience, and if you could paint that picture. Don't do it. You don't need to. We don't have enough time. Yeah, but if you paint that picture perfectly for anyone listening, it should be enough for anyone to go, nope, don't want to do that.
- [17:01]
Colin
Well, the first five minutes of it should be enough.
- [17:03]
Granger Smith
Golly.
- [17:04]
Colin
Yeah, it was. Yeah.
- [17:07]
Granger Smith
Is it? Can you find a point in your life? I know you've thought about this endlessly. Have you. Have you seen the point where you started to go off the rails? You said you fought it for a long time. Where did the fighting start?
- [17:22]
Colin
I think the actual off the rails aspect of it was probably Avery point. I think that was.
- [17:30]
Amber
We were living together, too. There too.
- [17:32]
Colin
Yeah, I think that was the off the rails. I was selling drugs at the time. I was incapacitated, to say the least. Every single day that we. That we live there. And I think old were you then? 17 and 15. I. I began using, I think 13 or 14. I started drinking at. At a buddy's house. And I don't want to say any names. You know what I mean? And. But really off the rails. Yeah. 17 to 24 was a blur.
- [18:07]
Amber
Was that just the crowd that you got involved with?
- [18:10]
Colin
It.
- [18:10]
Granger Smith
It.
- [18:10]
Colin
It was that. It was the. The. The lifestyle. It was the. The amount of money I was making. I mean, it was all the things. It was everything kind of the perfect storm, the people pleasing aspect. I. I loved to be the party. And even growing up, when. When mom and dad went out of town, our house was a party house. That's where. Yeah, I threw parties. And. And. And it was. You know, I ruined a lot of their. I feel terrible. Don't. Sorry, Mom. I feel terrible, but I ruined a lot of their vacations because there'd be a police officer calling them, Mr. And Mrs. Campbell, your son is having a party. And we found a. A block of marijuana in your backyard. And, you know, they were in the Bahamas one. But. Yeah, I think off the rails. Off the rails. And when I knew I had something needed to change, but I just. I couldn't get out of my own way was probably. Yeah, probably Avery point.
- [19:06]
Granger Smith
17.
- [19:06]
Colin
Yeah, 17.
- [19:08]
Amber
And then it was about 10, 15 years in and out.
- [19:12]
Colin
Oh, yeah.
- [19:13]
Amber
Rehabs and jails. Yeah.
- [19:16]
Colin
Just. Just not, you know, telling everybody, well, I can do this on my own. You know, I don't. I don't. Yeah, I'm good. I don't need anybody. Blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Just fooling myself, really, trying to paint this picture or have this facade of everything's great, everything's fine, and I'm. I was good at it. I was good at playing that game and making everybody think that things were okay. Maybe I wasn't that good at it because you guys always knew, you know, you got. I think sometimes y'all might not have known.
- [19:44]
Amber
Yeah.
- [19:45]
Colin
Like whenever I had gone to rehab and came out and, you know, I'd stay clean for a little bit and. But I'd tell you I was staying clean for a lot longer, but I had already started using.
- [19:53]
Granger Smith
You know, I think we kind of knew.
- [19:54]
Colin
Yeah. Yeah, I think so too.
- [19:55]
Granger Smith
It would be hard to not know. You would be the same way if it was us. So in 2022, you had the moment, locked the keys in the truck, and then Shayna picks you up. Well, we know if you fast forward, you end up going to prison. Correct. For the charges.
- [20:13]
Colin
Correct.
- [20:13]
Granger Smith
But you were already kind of rebuilding.
- [20:16]
Amber
Yeah. I had lunch with you right before you went. We had lunch.
- [20:19]
Colin
Yes. So. So I had. I had stayed clean in 2021, and prior to that, for 13 months. And I relapsed. I drank a beer and I relapsed. And my sobriety.
- [20:31]
Granger Smith
One beer.
- [20:32]
Colin
One beer. But that. At that time, that one beer canceled. That date. That date was no longer good. That date was gone. And a couple weeks later, I thought about that beer that I had, and I was like, well, I can have a couple beers.
- [20:42]
Granger Smith
Oh, yeah.
- [20:42]
Colin
And then a couple weeks later, well, I can have a. A bucket. And that night, we were playing. We were playing darts. I won't forget that night either. Shane and I went out. We were playing darts and had a bunch of beers and had a Rumplement shot. And that she knows that. That I tell her that I don't think that that's what put me over there. That's what put me over the edge. I created an argument. I created a fight and left her at home and went to the dope house. And that was. I think that was in December when I was gone. But I came back. I started rebuilding from. From January to March, knowing this case was coming up. And in my. In the back of my head, I was telling myself, I'm getting time. I'm getting time. There's nothing. There's this. This lady, Ms. Beach. She already told me if I ever. If she ever sees me in her courtroom again, she's gonna throw the book at me. So I already knew. I already knew that there was. I was getting time. The attorneys that we were working with were kind of finicky, but I. I knew. I was just hoping that I didn't get time, but I knew I was getting time. But while I was in there, my wife Shayna found her faith and found God and found and grew in her walk. And for me, that means everything. And for me, I do it. Like I told you guys last night, the campfire. If I had to go to prison a million times over for her to find her walk, I'll do it hands down. Wouldn't even hesitate. Tell me. Sign me up right now. And while I was in there, they had an app called Pando. So I was watching. I was getting to watch sermons because they gave us tablets in there, but I got. I got to watch. This was after veto, and we'll go into Beto another time.
- [22:19]
Granger Smith
But let me pause you, too, to say that for people listening, for context, things are really bad for you because. Because of debt that had piled up because of child support and because of felony charges. If anyone's listening that has a similar situation or a family member, and almost everyone does, absolutely, you could you could reach a point where, I mean, even I was like, I don't, I don't know what to say because, because say, say you're, say the Lord saves you and the Lord regenerates your life and you're still dealing with consequences of extreme debt, extreme child support, felony charges, can't find a job. But, but that wasn't God's plan either because the God even started redeeming that. He doesn't have to, but he started redeeming that. So. Anyway, I just want to say, I wanted to pause that to say you're in a bad spot. Not just with addiction and relationships, but also like with the state, with life, everything. Yes, yeah, the state. And I'll say too, because I, your mom and I talked endlessly about this, the state, as far as correctional, you know, the institution that we have set up nationwide, it's just not set up for people to actually rehab and get better and restart a life. No, it just kind of holds you out of, outside of society and just forces you just. You're on the outs, you're on the outskirts and you'll never recover the way the state has it. It's not made to rehabilitate people. No, it's made just to get you off the streets and away from everybody. And then all the taxpayers pay for the prison systems. It's crazy.
- [24:07]
Colin
They keep the prison system full for a reason.
- [24:09]
Granger Smith
Oh my goodness.
- [24:10]
D
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- [26:20]
Granger Smith
Cameo.Com grangersmith so you are you. You end up getting incarcerated. How many years?
- [26:30]
Colin
They gave me a five year sentence.
- [26:31]
Granger Smith
Gave you five year sentence.
- [26:33]
Colin
And which for my charge in the, in the county I was in is. Is a pretty steep penalty. But since my priors. Since I had priors. That's why. That's why I got the sentence I got.
- [26:50]
Granger Smith
Where did you. At what point does the, you know, Shane, you said Shayna is all of a sudden she's walking in her faith. When did the Lord find you? Was it slow or was it one moment or was it a guy that talked to you? Or was it just. The seed had been planted. And slow slowly grew seed was planted.
- [27:13]
Colin
In 2015 when I was in Tarrant county with a gentleman named Byron Starks. And that seed was planted. He introduced me to the Bible. I knew I'd known about the Bible. I'd been to church as a kid. I grew up Episcopalian, which was a boring church. The organs and everything. I'm just saying I apologize to Episcopalians, but when I was a kid I was kicking pews. Just, just FYI. But so he planted the seed in 2015 and Tarrant County Jail. And it just, I, I won't forget that because the seed was planted. So I always had questions. So I Considered myself agnostic just because I always had questions. I never thought I was an atheist or anything because I knew there was something bigger than me. I just didn't want. I didn't. I didn't know what to call it.
- [27:57]
Granger Smith
So I'm convinced there's no true atheist.
- [27:59]
Colin
Okay.
- [27:59]
Granger Smith
You could get. You could. At some point, you could break down that argument pretty easy.
- [28:03]
Colin
Absolutely. Yeah. We can go on a tandem about that. But. So, long story short, the minute that it all turned and my story really began was January 2, 2022, when I actually got on my knees and was done. Because I had thought I had surrendered before or thought I had given up and was asking God for help. But there was always this ultimatum, like, I'll do this if you do this. Like, God help me, or I'll. I'll be good if you just give me this right now. And, you know, Santa Claus religion, it's exactly what it was. And that's. That's how I was doing it. And. But January 2, 2022, I. I felt the difference. I. I could see the difference. I. Since that day, I've asked him every day, get. Let me. Get. Let me out of the way, show me how to be a service and show me your will. Show me your will.
- [28:58]
Granger Smith
That's it.
- [28:58]
Colin
And I try to get out of the way. And when I notice things aren't happening the way that I think they should happen, then that's. I'm. I'm not doing things in his will. I'm just trying to, like I said earlier, plug a square peg in a circle hole. And whenever that starts happening, whenever I start getting pushbacks on things, then I know that I. Okay, I need to step back and realize I need to get out of the way.
- [29:16]
Granger Smith
Yeah, it. So Psalm 130, that sermon I prepped in verse three, it says, if you, O Lord, should count iniquities, O Lord, who could stand? Yeah, I mean, that's not a Santa Claus religion. That is, if. If God counts your sins against you, no one's going to make it. No one is good enough.
- [29:37]
Colin
Nobody.
- [29:37]
Granger Smith
The next verse, verse four says, but with you there is forgiveness, that you may be feared so. And. And. And that. It points straight to the gospel of what Jesus did on the cross. But you told me something interesting last night around the campfire. You said that you. You and Shayna were sharing what you read every day. Every day while you're in prison and in the. One of the worst environments you could possibly imagine. These horrible wards in the state of Texas and You're in there reading the Bible and then sharing what you read with Shayna. She's sharing what she read daily.
- [30:13]
Colin
Yeah, it was amazing. So when you're in prison, you can be in prison in prison, if that makes sense. Like, you can definitely. You can be in prison out here. And I wasn't going to allow myself to. I wanted to be at peace, and I was at peace. On March 13, 2022, when I got sentenced, I was at peace. Nobody else in the. In the, behind me was at peace. My family wasn't at peace, but I was at peace because I knew that maybe this is God telling me to sit down for a little bit, and this is going to give me the time to be able to connect with God and connect with everything that there is that I need to know, not only about the gospel, but about myself and by her and I having that relationship, talking a couple times a day. I mean, sometimes when you're on lockdown, there's no talking. The first five weeks I was locked up, there was no communication at all.
- [31:03]
Granger Smith
Well, sometimes I was emailing you, too, and we would talk, and then all of a sudden you just. You wouldn't answer. Yeah, like, oh, I guess he's. I guess they're in lockdown again.
- [31:09]
Colin
Yeah, it's. It's. So you have to just. Any chance you get, it's just cherish it. And if you can, you know, you just know that you. You're not always going to get to talk to the person that you want to talk to or the person that you love. But. So we grew together the most that we've ever grown, and we were so far apart. We were not physically together, but we grew so close together during that time, just because of our walk and how I was way over here and she was way over here because she had a tough upbringing, too. Her family. Her family upbringing was tough, man. And so just having that all connect into one and just. And just. Oh, it was. It was. It was amazing. Like, it brings me to tears today, just. Just thinking about the love that she found towards God, knowing the love that there is reciprocated from God. And that's the. The connection that we had. Walking that faith, I. I would. I would hear music. I can't tell you how many times Carrie Jobe and Cody Karn's the Blessing played on my tablet. And I just was sitting under there with the sheets over my head, just bawling my eyes out with my earbuds in my head. But in Jaira from Maverick City Music Those two songs mean so much to me because of how they played a role in my walk while I was in prison. I wasn't in prison in prison.
- [32:30]
Amber
I've heard John Piper say that when he goes and speaks to people in prison, to men and women in prison, that. That we can be more in prison out here as slaves to all kinds of stuff. But when you're in there, you. You have all the time to spend with God and to read his Word. And you can be so free in there, even though you're locked up. But praise God for bringing you and Shayna together on the same path at the same time, because that doesn't happen a lot.
- [32:53]
Granger Smith
No, it happened with Amber and I actually.
- [32:55]
Amber
Yeah.
- [32:55]
Granger Smith
And people ask me that all the time, are like, when all this is happening with you, what about Amber? And I'm like, man, by God's grace, for some reason, in Lord. In the Lord's kindness, he was bringing her along at the same time because she could have easily. Like, when we went through the whole thing with river, and then all of a sudden, the Lord saves me. She could have been like, you're out of your mind. You know, you're just coping. You know, you're trying to find something to make you feel better.
- [33:19]
Colin
Right.
- [33:20]
Granger Smith
And that's great for you, but I don't need that. Yeah, but that's not what happened. It's interesting, too, that you get back and out of the Lord's kindness. You called me and you're like, man, I'm in a great church. It's just right down the road. Shane and I got plugged in, and in my mind, you know, I talk about churches all the time on this podcast. I'm like, oh, no. Dude just finds a church. Like, he's on fire for the Lord, which is great. He gets out of prison, and the first thing he does is go right down the road, jump into the local church there. Whatever church it is, I don't know. And all of a sudden, he loves it. And I'm just like, oh, this can be bad. I look it up, and I. I friended the senior pastor on Instagram, who I now know is Landon, great brother. And I friended him and DM'd him. And then I was, like, reading his whole bio, like, where's this guy from? Because this is important to me, man. Like, the next step, you. You come out of prison, you're with Shayna, you guys are building something. If you don't. If you don't lock into a good local church, that's Going to walk along with you, that's going to live life with you. That's going to be your brothers and sisters. That's three hours from Amber and I. So they're your brothers and sisters that are going to, that are going to like my hat, 99 for one that are going to seek out the one lost sheep out of the hundred and say where's Colin? Anybody seen Colin? It's an elder led church.
- [34:45]
Colin
Yes.
- [34:46]
Granger Smith
So where's Colin? Anybody seen him? He hadn't been here in three weeks. Someone goes, I know, I'll go get him on the door.
- [34:54]
Colin
But they're beating on the door at North Point.
- [34:56]
Granger Smith
That's what a church is supposed to do. If you would have entered a church that you would have got lost in or that super charismatic and it's, it's, it's, it's not full of pastors that actually tend the sheep right then that would have been bad. So I find Landon and then all of a sudden Landon and I became friends. Now he's my bro and I'm like Landon, how in the world are we like minded in ministry and my, my brother in law ends up at your church. Only the Lord would have taken, would have got you because I don't think you knew. Right? I mean did you, you didn't, you.
- [35:32]
Amber
Weren'T supposed to go to that church that day.
- [35:34]
Colin
No. So, so when I, when I, we've been talking about trying to find a local church. We lived in Joshua at the time. Whenever I got out we wanted to go find a local church. So we went to a couple churches the first couple weekends I got out and we're like, yeah, they're okay but we're going to keep shopping. And we were supposed to go to. And it was like 8:35 I think am on a Sunday. And we were driving out to the church that we had planned on going to the night before. Nobody's in the parking lot so we're like okay, well then let's just keep driving.
- [36:00]
Granger Smith
So we drove, that's, that's pretty good.
- [36:02]
Colin
Drove, drove another half a mile, maybe a mile and saw there was a bunch of cars in this church up there on the top of the hill. So we pulled in. Joel Harrell was the first guy that welcomed me. He's an elder, he's a deacon at our church and he just was so welcoming and I just, I felt the love immediately. And so we, we got to know each other, filled out the connect card, did all the things, went into the church, sat down and just started Worshiping, started praising. And then Landon got up there and was just spitting fire and just tears rolling down my eyes. And I'm balling my eyes out. She's balling her eyes out. And we looked at each other and we're like, we're home. This is it.
- [36:38]
Amber
Granger was so happy when he came and he did his research with Landon. He's worried. He was like, babe, he's in a really good, good church. No church is perfect. There's, you know, there's, it's full of sinners. But to have a healthy body of believers around you, brothers and sisters, who, who, who your pastor preaches the word of God, preaches Christ crucified and, you know, redeeming grace and just family.
- [37:00]
Granger Smith
Yeah. So he goes, Landon, their senior pastor, goes to, by the way, that everyone listening. This is North Point Church in Burleson area. So he's at a pastor's conference a few months ago in Georgetown. And he hits me up and he's like, hey, on my way back, you want to grab lunch? I was like, yeah, so we go, go grab lunch. And, you know, part of the conversation was Colin. And I mean, he just genuinely loves you, cares about you. In fact, there was a, there was a, There was kind of a guy, There was this thing going on with you at the time that, look back, it was, it was harmless. But at the time, he was like, yeah, he's, he's been talking to this guy. What do you think about it? And I was like, oh, that's, that's interesting, because he's a true pastor by the definition of the word pastor. It. And I said this on the podcast a few weeks ago, that that word comes from the word shepherd, which literally means in context of a shepherd with the sheep, caring for him, watching them, teaching them, feeding them, loving them, protecting them. And he is in every sense of that word, that's what he is for you and for the rest of his sheep. And if a church gets too big, then he has, you know, then, then they must get more shepherds for the amount of the size of the flock. And, and I'm just sitting there at lunch and I was like, this is so cool, man. Because. Because then for the first time in 15 years, I could say, I don't need to be spiritually every step of the way with Colin now I could just be his brother in law, knowing he has a shepherd that's going to take care of his spiritual walk. And now we could just be brothers and share and I don't have to Think about, where's Colin? I need to go get him because like you said, they will be knocking down.
- [38:50]
Colin
Absolutely.
- [38:51]
Granger Smith
Man, I'm talking too much. Let's at least ask a question or get to a question on here. Podcastrangersmith.com if you want to email me. And I. This is, this is the, the prep that Ant gave me. I scanned three down and I saw the word substance and I was like, oh cool, read that one. It's why you're here. It says from Anonymous. I want to ask some marriage advice on how to handle the situation. My husband and I both quit using any type of substance when we got saved. Over the past few months, my husband has started dipping, smoking again and now he's lying about it. And every time I catch him, he tells me I won't do it again. But then he continues. I can't trust him and I can't believe what he says after he's lies to me all the time. I pray for him every day. What should I do? Oh, one more sentence. I want him to lead our family, but I feel like I'm always the one leading since he always gives me gives into his temptations. I wish that last sentence wasn't in there. Maybe I read it the wrong way. First thoughts on this, Colin, what do you think's going on with this dude? They quit. They got married. It sounds like there was kind of a deal like, hey, when we get married, we're gonna get clean after they got saved. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [40:15]
Colin
So what I've witnessed being on I guess both sides of it now. Yeah. Is you cannot change somebody else. Unfortunately, only God can do that and he's got to seek that if he really wants that change. Just continue to pray, just continue to be there for him so that he feels safe to be honest. Maybe there's a situation, I don't know yours, but maybe he doesn't feel safe being honest. Maybe. Speaking from my personal experience, if I was ever honest, I felt like I was always just going to get in trouble. So I would always try to hide it and, and, and lie about it so that I didn't think I was going to get in trouble.
- [41:03]
Granger Smith
I think you're right on.
- [41:04]
Colin
Even though after they found out I was in even more trouble and they were like, dude, if you were just honest with me, we wouldn't be in this situation. So I think just telling him it's okay to be honest, telling him it's, it's okay to have those desires, but we can pray together and ask God to remove Those desires, that's what my wife and I do. We ask God to remove the desires that we have. And I haven't had anything in, what was it, 10, 95 days or something.
- [41:28]
Amber
You'll be three years.
- [41:29]
Colin
Three years. Three years in January. So. And, and I've lost the desire just because God has taken that desire. So I think if I can give you any advice on this is just, Just pray with him. And if you guys are saved, then I know it's uncomfortable. At first it was very uncomfortable for my wife and I because it was new. We'd never done it. And so we felt kind of nerdy or kind of weird doing it. But once you get into it and actually start doing it together, it becomes natural. And you. You want to pray with each other. And so when you have that, that, that deep love for Christ and, And you can, you can do that, then you can pray together and pray for that desire to go away. Dipping in cigarettes is a very hard thing. I've done both. I dipped for many, many, many, many, many years. And it was very hard for me to have that desire taken away. But, man, with. With all things, nothing is impossible for God, man.
- [42:17]
Granger Smith
Yeah, I think you're right on. I think there. I usually feel in some of these questions that there is a nagging problem. That, that. And, and so I think it seems like he's trying to deceive you and lie to you. And I think the fact is he's just like, man, I don't want to deal with what she's going to say. And I'm having trouble because maybe he's been dipping the whole time. Correct. And maybe she thought he quit.
- [42:47]
Colin
Maybe he's just really having trouble quitting.
- [42:49]
Granger Smith
Yeah. And, and obviously the, the dipping and smoking thing is what she thinks she's worried about is what it would. What is leading back to the old lifestyle. You do so good, babe, at. At. At affirming me and pouring into the things that I do well. And then that makes me want to be better in the things that I'm not doing well. Like you'll. You. You always tell the kids, like, daddy works so hard for us. And even the times when I feel like I'm neglecting my family or working too much. You will say, daddy's working so hard for us. Aren't we. Are. Aren't we so happy that Daddy's working hard? And, and then I'm like, yeah, and I need to spend. I need to pour into them it. That it does like reverse psychology to me. And I Don't think that's happening From. From this anonymous email, you're saying, I want him to lead our family, but I feel like I'm always the one leading. What if you told him? What if you said, you lead us so well, and we've been through so much together, and I just want to say that I appreciate what you do for this family. I think there's something in there that makes him go, I need to be better in this.
- [44:11]
Colin
Yeah, well, I think that, too. And I think the whole accountability thing, if you hold your partner accountable, you hold each other accountable, and so you. If. If you have that openness, you don't have to lie and you don't have to deceive if they call you on. On your stuff.
- [44:25]
Granger Smith
Yeah.
- [44:26]
Colin
So you know what? You're right. I. I am doing whatever. Whatever the situation is. Thank you for bringing that to my attention. Let's. Let's. Let's. Let's do some things to make this better.
- [44:36]
Granger Smith
Yeah.
- [44:37]
Amber
What steps can I take to help you in this? How can I help you to fight this temptation?
- [44:41]
Colin
That's huge. That is huge.
- [44:44]
Granger Smith
You're lying.
- [44:45]
Colin
Shayna is. Has been Detroit. No, not that.
- [44:49]
Amber
You said that one time.
- [44:49]
Colin
I said that one time, and I was like, detrimental. Instrumental. Not detrimental, baby. Not. Not detrimental. Instrumental. In everything that our family is now because of the accountability. And if I'm slacking at work, she's like, hey, man, get on the computer. Get to work. Like, what are you doing? Get off your phone. Get to work. Yes, ma'am. I'm going. And. And if she's being fussy, I use air quotes. I hold her accountable. I'm like, hey, what's really going on? Because I know you're not mad at me for anything. So what's really going on? And then we get to the bottom of it. Okay, well, a customer had made her mad earlier in the day or something. Well, let's talk that out. So maybe there's some communication that needs to be going on with both of them to say, let's figure this thing out together and let's get rid of the bs.
- [45:38]
Granger Smith
Yeah, it. Also, anonymous. It'd be helpful if you went to him and said, look, I've got my problems too.
- [45:44]
Colin
Absolutely.
- [45:45]
Granger Smith
I see her dipping and smoking. Babe, you don't have to lie about that. I've got enough things going on with me. How could I. How could I help you with this? And. And then I need you to help me as well. And you don't ever have to hide things from me. We're together. We're a team, right?
- [46:02]
Amber
Yeah.
- [46:03]
Granger Smith
What do you say on this?
- [46:03]
Amber
I think Hill are both spot on. And maybe if he's dipping and smoking, he's stressed about something. Like, how can we work through what. What is stressing you out right now? And. And she says she wants him to lead. And I have a couple of friends who want their husbands to lead. And what I've had to. Well, what we've all learned is that you can't nag someone into leading. You can't. You can't bark at them and nag them into leading. You just have to pray to the Lord for him to change. Like you said, change his desires, change his heart, and you just live your life according to the Bible. You love him, you serve him, you pray for him, and then you pray that he sees how you live and his conduct has changed in that. And then just support him however you can. And like you said, pray together, walk through any stresses together. But I think y'all both nailed it.
- [46:52]
Granger Smith
Well, there are so many questions I'm looking at here and not enough time, because this conversation has gone well. Um, dude, will you come back sometime.
- [47:02]
Colin
Absolutely.
- [47:02]
Granger Smith
And be on this podcast?
- [47:03]
Colin
Absolutely.
- [47:04]
Granger Smith
Continue to just pull back layers.
- [47:06]
Colin
Pencil me in, man. I'm like an onion.
- [47:08]
Amber
People could ask questions if they have any more questions about your walk or your life or your faith.
- [47:12]
Granger Smith
For sure.
- [47:13]
Colin
Yeah, yeah. Please reach out, man. It's. Sin lives in the dark. And. And when you're in a dark place, you can get caught up in that vicious cycle so easily because the shame, the guilt, the remorse. Yeah, all of that stuff adds up. And it's just, you carry that monkey on your back, but guess what? You don't have to carry that monkey. I carried that monkey for years. I carried that guilt and shame a little bit. I was molested when I was 6 or 7. I don't remember the age, but I carried that monkey on my back for years. I carried the monkey of upsetting just everybody that I came in contact with for years. I carried that guilt and shame of selling my body. I carried that for years, and I don't carry that anymore. I've given that burden to God. I've given everything to him. And to make it kind of easy, sounding like, why not give your worries? Why not give your burdens? Why not give that monkey off your back to him? Let somebody else have it. He'll take it gladly.
- [48:13]
Amber
Well, because the enemy wants you there. He wants you stuck in that place of shame and guilt so you can step deeper and deeper into sin.
- [48:18]
Colin
It's easy.
- [48:19]
Amber
But when we come to Christ, it's. And we repent and believe in him, we are forgiven. There is no more condemnation for those that are in Christ.
- [48:25]
Granger Smith
So people are listening to. And I know there's, there's guys listening, going, yeah, but he's got Shayna. I don't have Shayna. I don't have a Shayna. So don't answer that. We'll get to that next. But I think there's a way we could answer that as well because people are going, well, must be nice, man. You got a good brother in law, sister in law, good mama, good stepdad, good, good wife.
- [48:47]
Colin
I had that for 20 years. I had all that good stuff for 20 years and I still did everything. So, yeah.
- [48:55]
Granger Smith
Yeah. All right, well, dude, we'll have you back. I guess we'll have you back, too.
- [49:00]
Amber
Okay, I'll come back.
- [49:01]
Granger Smith
Love you guys.
- [49:02]
Amber
Bye.
- [49:02]
Granger Smith
See you next Monday. Thanks for joining me on the Granger Smith podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me out by rating this podcast on itunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe. Subscribe to this channel. Hit that little, like, button and notifications bell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video.