MON PT 1: Amy Tested Her Birthday + Top 10 Pains In The World + 'One Crazy At A Time' Couples Rule + Lunchbox's Medical Procedure + What Body Part Would We Donate?

Summary

The Bobby Bones Show — November 3, 2025 (MON PT 1)

Host: Bobby Bones
Co-hosts: Amy, Eddie, Lunchbox
Episode Theme: Fun conversation and games around relationships, pain, and life’s random topics, plus listener and team moments.

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Overview

This episode mixes offbeat humor and heartfelt discussion about birthdays, relationship rules, medical woes, pain rankings, and questions of generosity and body donation. The signature wit and camaraderie of Bobby, Amy, Eddie, and Lunchbox shine as they pivote across wild topics—from “bird theory” for couples to colonoscopy confessions.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Amy Tests the "Bird Theory" with Her Boyfriend ([03:10])

• Concept: The “bird theory” claims if you say to your partner, “I saw a bird today,” their level of interest shows their affection.
• Amy: “All you have to do is say, oh, I saw a bird today, and then see how much they engage, that they care. Like, what kind of bird, what color was it, where in the yard?” (03:17)
• Her boyfriend fails—he's busy with fantasy football, but she gives him a pass due to bad timing.
• Amy shares a list of baby names inspired by birds, both for boys and girls, sparking banter about what makes a good, “cool” bird name.

2. Listener Letter: Dad Dating a 27-Year-Old ([08:07])

• Situation: A listener’s widowed father (late 50s) is bringing a girlfriend the listener’s age (27) to Thanksgiving.
• Bobby: “This is very much a you problem. And you are possibly keeping Joy from your dad because you are uncomfortable with something. You deserve to feel uncomfortable. Your feelings are never wrong, it’s just how you act on them. But this is not about you. This is about your dad.” (08:23)
• Amy: “First thing I would want to do is ask my dad, like, hey, are you—are you happy? And when. The minute he says yes, then I have to say, okay, I'm just letting you know this is weird for me and it's a little uncomfortable, but I'm going to try my best and like, let's go, let's go do this. Like, let's have a good Thanksgiving.” (09:39)
• The show gently jokes about “new friendship” possibilities and the awkwardness of age gaps.

3. Quirky Inventions: An Artificial Tongue to Detect Spiciness ([12:05])

• Bobby: “They have created an artificial tongue that can accurately detect a food’s spiciness...everything ends up getting used in a dirty way. And don’t think I didn’t think about that first.” (12:09)
• The show riffs on how companies would use this, not individuals—imagines sticking fake tongues in salsa jars.
• Banter about odd foods—cow tongue, testicles (“mountain oysters”)—and who has eaten what.

4. Would You Donate a Body Part? The Jesse Eisenberg Kidney Story ([14:59])

• News: Actor Jesse Eisenberg plans to donate a kidney to a stranger.
• Eddie (dreaming): "Every time I hear stories like that, I'm like, gosh, that sounds awesome. It'd be something I would love to do in the future at some point." (15:58)
• The team jokes about which of their own body parts would be a “good donation.”
  • Bobby: “My brain?”
  • Amy: “Not your eyes...definitely not your eyes.”
  • Lunchbox: “Well, I mean, I would say tongue, you know, because a lot of ladies have been experienced it and they really like what—stupid.” (18:26)
  • Amy: “Part of my liver.”

5. Good News — Bus Driver Saves Motorist ([24:57])

• Lunchbox: Tells story of Homer, a bus driver in Donna, TX, who notices a stopped semi in the intersection, finds the driver unconscious, calls 911, and saves him.
• Group admires: Quick-thinking and how most would’ve just assumed the driver had dozed off.

6. The Top 10 Most Painful Human Experiences ([26:33])

• Amy’s List: She counts down as the group gasps and debates each ranking: 10. Arm chopped off 9. Heart attack 8. Getting stabbed 7. Shot in chest 6. Hit by car (30 mph) 5. Passing kidney stone 4. Kicked in the nuts 3. Childbirth 2. Hit by train (80 mph)
  1. Burned alive
• Quotes:
  • Bobby: “Getting kicked in the nuts, far worse than getting a shot in the chest while your arms getting chopped off.” (31:15)
  • Amy: “My sister says the kidney stone is much worse [than childbirth].” (31:56)
• Segues to personal stories—Amy’s dad’s burns, kidney stones, etc.

7. Couples Rules: “One Crazy at a Time” ([34:11])

• Caller Janet: Shares her secret to 27 years of marriage: Only one spouse can be “crazy” at once; the other supports and then they switch if needed.
• Bobby: “If you’re both feeling that way, how do one of you suppress that…do you call shotgun crazy? 'I call crazy.'” (35:19)
• Amy: Shares Brene Brown’s “50/50” marriage rule—if you’re at 10% emotionally that day and your spouse is 90%, together you're 100% (36:11). If both are low, you cut life's obligations.

8. Lunchbox’s Mysterious Medical Issue and Colonoscopy Fears ([43:22])

• Lunchbox: Chronic pain near his left hip. Several doctors, all dismissive, refer him for a colonoscopy “just in case.”
  • Lunchbox: “It’s like I got conned into signing up for a colonoscopy.” (45:33)
  • Amy: “You have to do it. What if this is the thing that leads you to finding the other thing?” (46:11)
  • Bobby: “It’s not that hard…I’ve had one. You go in, you put a little dress on, you lay in the bed.” (47:47)
• Group jokes about preparation, suspicion of “lazy” doctor impressions, and whether Lunchbox understands medical advice.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bird Names Segment

  • “Hawk is cool. It feels like it’s trying.” — Bobby (04:11)
  • “You ever heard you’re a titmouse?” — Bobby (05:54)

• On Difficult Feelings About Dad’s Younger Girlfriend

  • “Weird doesn’t mean wrong. You have every right to your feeling, but I don’t think you make it harder on him because you’re uncomfortable with it.” — Bobby (08:23)
  • “If you weren't feeling that way, that would be—I would be surprised.” — Bobby (10:53)

• Donor Bit

  • “You want to eat my testicles?” — Bobby, playfully to Amy (16:25)
  • “My tongue would be my A plus.” — Lunchbox (18:47)

• Top 10 Most Painful Experiences

  • “My brother had kidney stones...he was in bed for weeks.” — Lunchbox (30:53)
  • “I feel like it’s way more painful for a guy to pass one [kidney stone]...our holes are smaller and not meant for things to come out.” — Bobby (29:16)
  • “Kicked in the nuts, far worse than getting a shot in the chest.” — Bobby (31:15)

• Marriage Advice

  • “Only one of us can be crazy at a time. And when the one is crazy, the other has to support them.” — Janet, caller (34:22)
  • Amy on Brene Brown: “If you’re at 10% in the tank, and your spouse is at 90%, together you’re 100%. If both are at 10%, you adjust expectations.” (36:11)

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Additional Segments

"Tell Me Something Good" ([51:04])

• 16 Naval Academy alumni (class of ‘75) biked 1,200 miles to raise $160,000 for charity in their 70s.
• Amy & Bobby: Relate with stories of bike accident injuries and charity rides.

"Morning Corny" Joke ([53:37])

• Amy: "What did the alien say to the cat?"
  Answer: "Take me to your litter." (53:42)
• Team playfully groans at the pun.

"Bonehead Story of the Day" ([54:02])

• NY man frustrated at a bank drive-thru sends a lit cigar in the cash tube. Tension on whether the teller is exaggerating smoke inhalation.

Family Life Anecdotes ([55:06])

• Bobby: Shares wife’s cryptic “Is the kitchen open?” texts for food requests. More playful banter about couple communication.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:10 — Bird Theory/Baby Names Game
• 08:07 — Listener Letter: Dad’s Young Girlfriend
• 12:05 — Artificial Tongue and Spicy Foods
• 14:59 — Jesse Eisenberg’s Kidney Donation / Body Part Game
• 24:57 — Bus Driver Hero Story (“Tell Me Something Good”)
• 26:33 — Top 10 Most Painful Experiences
• 34:11 — Caller Janet: “One Crazy at a Time” Couples Rule
• 43:22 — Lunchbox's Pain, Medical Mystery & Colonoscopy
• 51:04 — Producer Eddie's Good News: Naval Academy Charity Bike Ride
• 53:37 — Amy’s "Morning Corny" Joke
• 54:02 — Bonehead Story of the Day (Bank Tube Incident)
• 55:06 — Bobby’s Family: “Is the kitchen open?” Story

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Tone & Language

The episode is classic Bobby Bones Show: candid, goofy, occasionally touching, and never taking themselves too seriously. They blend genuine advice with irreverent observations and over-the-top bits. The group’s chemistry and quick quips keep the energy up regardless of topic.

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For Listeners Who Missed It

This episode is a strong example of The Bobby Bones Show’s blend: hilariously random personal stories, honest advice for sticky life problems, moments of real empathy (especially in the relationships and pain-ranking segments), and no shortage of laughter. Whether you’re invested in Amy’s relationship experiments, Lunchbox’s “Dr. Google” journey, or just want to know the most painful thing the human body can endure, you’ll find something to enjoy in this installment.

Transcript

[Amy]

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[Bobby Bones]

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[Commercial/Ad Voice]

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[Bobby Bones]

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[Bobby Bones]

Here we go.

[Lunchbox]

Come on, Bobby.

[Announcer]

Transmitting across America.

[Bobby Bones]

Hope you had a great weekend. Welcome to Monday show. Morning, stud. Morning, Bones. Did you do the bird test on your boyfriend?

[Amy]

The bird theory? Yes, I did. I just this. All you have to do is say, oh, I saw a bird today, and then see how much they engage, that they care. Like, what kind of bird, what color was it, where in the yard?

[Bobby Bones]

Or they go, yeah, so cool.

[Amy]

Yeah, that's pretty much what I got. But he did say, in his defense, that he was literally in the middle of working on his fantasy football something or another, and it was like, the worst time for me to ask. So had I asked another time, he probably would have been more engaged.

[Bobby Bones]

You're holding on to this bird fascination, though. Amy sent me a bunch of baby names that have to do with birds.

[Amy]

Yeah, like, they're cute too. There's girl names and boy names. Like, if I could have a baby, I would consider one of these names. And since I'm not having a baby, Bobby's the next best thing here.

[Bobby Bones]

You want to hear that? What they are?

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Bobby Bones]

They're boy and girl. Because we're not tipping off. But hawk.

[Eddie]

That's cool.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, hawk is cool. It feels like it's trying.

[Amy]

Okay. Share the others.

[Eddie]

J. I mean, that's pretty.

[Bobby Bones]

That's a normal. Yeah. I give you the top five in each. Corbin. I didn't even know that was a bird.

[Eddie]

That's a bird. I'm good.

[Bobby Bones]

Gavin.

[Eddie]

That's a bird.

[Amy]

I like the Gavin.

[Bobby Bones]

I mean.

[Eddie]

Yeah, I know.

[Amy]

Here, I'll show you.

[Bobby Bones]

I didn't know there were birds, though. And talon.

[Eddie]

Oh, talon is. Is the. The thing that you hook. Like hawks hook with.

[Bobby Bones]

And I know what a talent. It feels like a. An avenger.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah.

[Amy]

My ex husband, who's in the air force, he flew C130s, but they were called Talon 2s. They're like a really cool aircraft.

[Bobby Bones]

Those are the five.

[Amy]

So hold on.

[Bobby Bones]

I didn't know Gavin or Corbin was a bird. Right.

[Amy]

I'm pulling it up for you. Okay.

[Bobby Bones]

The girl names Ren with a W. Yeah.

[Eddie]

That's cool.

[Bobby Bones]

Dove.

[Eddie]

Love it.

[Bobby Bones]

Birdie. Cute.

[Eddie]

Is that just a birdie?

[Bobby Bones]

Well, to me, it's either a golf term or like a really old lady.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

And. And one like birdie or. Or a nickname. Sparrow.

[Eddie]

I've never heard that.

[Amy]

Yeah, Sparrow. I wouldn't. Don't go with that one.

[Bobby Bones]

You Sent it to me.

[Amy]

I know, but doesn't that. I know I sent it, but is this your list?

[Eddie]

Like that?

[Amy]

You know, I didn't, like, just list all the birds. I came across a list of bird names, and I thought, oh, these are good. But not. It doesn't mean I approve of every single one.

[Bobby Bones]

And Robin.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

Which is fine.

[Eddie]

You know, Robin.

[Bobby Bones]

I just got titmouse.

[Eddie]

You ever heard you're a titmouse?

[Amy]

Ooh, tough to.

[Bobby Bones]

Why'd you just give away.

[Eddie]

Dang it.

[Bobby Bones]

We present to you tit.

[Guest/Caller]

Wait.

[Eddie]

Mouse is cool. Chickadees.

[Amy]

What is Gavin?

[Bobby Bones]

You sent it to me.

[Amy]

Huh? What is Gavin? When it comes to a bird, Amy, I'm asking myself, what's a bird?

[Eddie]

Gavin. A Gavin bird.

[Amy]

The name Gavin is a masculine name of Welsh and Scottish origin, meaning white hawk or white falcon.

[Bobby Bones]

Oh, so it's a meaning. I don't know. Yeah, we do have a name.

[Eddie]

You do?

[Guest/Caller]

Official.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Like the one.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

We're not telling anybody.

[Amy]

That's cool.

[Eddie]

I knew it.

[Amy]

Sick.

[Eddie]

Sparrow hawk.

[Bobby Bones]

J. Yeah. Yeah.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

You guys don't know it.

[Eddie]

No, we don't.

[Amy]

Probably best to just not.

[Eddie]

Yeah, it's probably best.

[Bobby Bones]

No, it's probably bad. Yes. And I'm not. And I will not tell you, because it's not that I don't love you guys. It's just that I don't love how sometimes things slip up.

[Eddie]

Get it?

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah. So.

[Amy]

So how long?

[Bobby Bones]

I don't even want to say right now.

[Eddie]

Well, I don't even know where you're gonna go with that. How long?

[Bobby Bones]

How long have you known?

[Amy]

No, no, no, no. That wasn't my question.

[Bobby Bones]

Go ahead.

[Amy]

How long after the baby's born, like, I'm wondering how long. You may try to hold on to the name without saying what it is.

[Eddie]

Where? On air?

[Amy]

Anywhere. Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

18 years.

[Eddie]

Oh, it better be.

[Commercial/Ad Voice]

Like, when they can.

[Bobby Bones]

When they can vote. I don't know. It's all up to my wife.

[Amy]

You should do, like, total free range parenting, where you just, like, let them name themselves. Name themselves when they're old enough. Like, you're just the baby. You get to. Hey, free range.

[Guest/Caller]

You.

[Amy]

You name yourself.

[Bobby Bones]

Do, like, Elon Musk and just call it X.

[Eddie]

The numbers. Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

And then you just figure it out yourself.

[Eddie]

We did that with my first kid. Like, we didn't say his name until he was born. And then we came out of the hospital like. All right, family members, here is Gavin. Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

There's a question to be had. Hello, Bobby Bones. My dad, who's in his late 50s, just started dating someone my age. I'm 27, and he's planning on bringing her to Thanksgiving at my grandma's. He seems genuinely happy, but I can't wrap my head around it. I want to be supportive, but it feels uncomfortable to watch him with someone who could easily be one of my friends. My mom passed away a few years ago, so it's not jealousy, it's just weird. Do I fake a smile for the sake of the holiday or tell him how uncomfortable that it makes me signed stuffing my feelings? I really don't want to sound insensitive here. I'm going to risk it a bit though, and say, hey, this is very much a you problem. And you are possibly keeping Joy from your dad because you are uncomfortable with something. You deserve to feel uncomfortable. Your feelings are never wrong, it's just how you act on them. But this is not about you. This is about your dad. And so you know what, his wife passed away years ago. Not. Not just your mom, his wife passed away years ago. So you're not experiencing this alone, in a vacuum. I do absolutely understand. It's weird. Weird doesn't mean wrong. You have every right to your feeling, but I don't think you make it harder on him because you're uncomfortable with it. Amy.

[Amy]

Yeah, no, I think it's okay to have this conversation with him, but Bobby's right. This is definitely something you're going to need to work through. And I. First thing I would want to do is ask my dad, like, hey, are you.

[Guest/Caller]

Are you.

[Amy]

Are you happy? And then I want to hear from him. And when. The minute he says yes, then I have to say, okay, I'm just letting you know this is weird for me and it's a little uncomfortable, but I'm going to try my best and like, let's go, let's go do this. Like, let's have a good Thanksgiving.

[Bobby Bones]

This is a you thing and it sucks. And we are not saying in any way whatsoever you should not feel weird or sad or the. The 11 emotions. Yep. Yeah, you're gonna have. Yeah, it's freaking herbs and spices, all of them in this.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

And hey, how about dad?

[Lunchbox]

Hey.

[Bobby Bones]

Also a little shout out to dad for getting a 27 year old. This is second. Let's go, pops.

[Amy]

That is weird, though.

[Bobby Bones]

That's weird. Weird is not wrong. Always.

[Amy]

Yes.

[Eddie]

Is this person against the relationship or just the dinner?

[Amy]

Probably the age.

[Bobby Bones]

Okay. Probably all because her mom died.

[Guest/Caller]

Yes.

[Amy]

And I think that, yeah, to that point, if he was bringing a woman that was his exact age. She would probably still be uncomfortable because it's something new and it's not her mom.

[Bobby Bones]

I think she can blame it on the age. Yeah, I mean, I think she would probably feel uncomfortable that he's bringing someone that's not her mom. His.

[Amy]

Right. And that's natural and normal.

[Bobby Bones]

Absolutely, yes. You know what? If you weren't feeling that way, that would be. I would be surprised.

[Amy]

Right?

[Bobby Bones]

Let's go, pops. That's aside, but yeah, it's. It's about him. This is not so much about you. Don't even make it an issue if you bring guilt on him in any way after you have the initial conversation. If it's weird, that's. That's bad.

[Amy]

And what's up? Maybe you have a new friend.

[Bobby Bones]

Oh, you don't even know that's the case. So. Yeah, yeah. To. I don't. I want to be on your side because you listen to the show, but I can't fully be on your side except to say it'll be much healthier if you realize this is a you thing and not a him thing. Now she's like 19. We could talk.

[Amy]

Oh, that. I would be like, dad, this is sick.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah.

[Amy]

27 to get help.

[Bobby Bones]

Hey, Brains develop. Frontal lobe.

[Amy]

That's right. At around 25. So she's got two years of full.

[Bobby Bones]

Development in her brain. That's right. All right, there you go. Close it up. They have created an artificial tongue that can accurately detect a food's spiciness. Because people want to know how hot is it before they eat it. So they have an artificial tongue for that. Two things. One, I think it's pretty cool. But two, everything ends up getting used in a dirty way. And don't think I didn't think about that first.

[Amy]

Oh, that never crossed my mind.

[Lunchbox]

Of course it wasn't your mom.

[Amy]

About how everybody's taste buds are so different. So how is this one gonna know how you are?

[Bobby Bones]

Well, everybody sees things different too. But I think there are levels based on just a standard that's set. Like, because a level three spice for somebody may be a level five for you, but if it's set as a level three, you know how. How hot it is. So inspired by different proteins and how hot they were, they started developing this fake tongue.

[Amy]

Does it look like a tongue?

[Bobby Bones]

No, but it definitely could. Cuz it's like a film.

[Eddie]

It should.

[Bobby Bones]

I. They should definitely put a piece of rubber and then put the film over the rubber.

[Amy]

It doesn't need to look like a tongue.

[Bobby Bones]

And you should have it on, like, a Popsicle stick coming out of the back, and you stick it on stuff, and it tells you how hot it is.

[Amy]

Like, tongues are. I don't.

[Guest/Caller]

I don't.

[Bobby Bones]

You ever eaten a cow tongue?

[Amy]

No. I don't want to either.

[Eddie]

That's pretty good, actually.

[Bobby Bones]

It actually is pretty tasty.

[Eddie]

Pretty good.

[Amy]

When did y' all have one?

[Eddie]

We used to have it all the time.

[Amy]

Eddie.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

Why would you say it to Eddie?

[Amy]

Oh, he.

[Bobby Bones]

Hey. Hey, Eddie. You're. You're Mexican.

[Amy]

I have.

[Lunchbox]

Close.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, ours was. What's left?

[Eddie]

We gotta eat it.

[Bobby Bones]

Gotta eat it.

[Amy]

Yeah. Have you ever had testicles?

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, a bunch.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Eddie]

Those I don't like so much.

[Bobby Bones]

This is a joke, though.

[Eddie]

Really? The mountain oysters? Yeah.

[Amy]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what they're called.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah. It wasn't like, we sat down for Sunday testicles.

[Eddie]

You're right. It's always like.

[Amy]

Like Taco Tuesday.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

Testicle Tuesday.

[Eddie]

My dad. My dad's joke was always, like, to eat. Eat it. And be like, well, I'm having a ball.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah. So researchers figured out an artificial tongue. They can just tell you how hot it is. And mostly it's a system that they can, like, put on the back of something to tell you, you know how there's, like, medium, mild, like salsa. It would just be. This could be used to give you a better indicator of how hot things actually were.

[Amy]

Sounds like a lot of work.

[Eddie]

I mean, it's not so bad to try hot stuff, though, right? Like. But say you're, like, at a Mexican restaurant and they had salsa out.

[Amy]

Take your little tongue with you.

[Eddie]

No, you just did a little dip, and you're like, oh, that's too hot for me. And then you're good. You don't have to.

[Bobby Bones]

But I'm not saying. I'm saying you're buying it from a shelf. You don't want to buy a whole bottle of something.

[Eddie]

You're gonna put the fake tongue in the bottle?

[Bobby Bones]

No, but the tongue will be able to tell all the products.

[Eddie]

That's pretty cool.

[Bobby Bones]

The tongue is used to tell how hot things are for products?

[Amy]

I guess, yes. Do you take the tongue with you to a restaurant?

[Lunchbox]

No.

[Bobby Bones]

The tongue is used, like, it's sold to, like, the companies, and the companies use it to monitor how hot they made it.

[Eddie]

Oh, it's not for personal use.

[Bobby Bones]

I mean, like I said, trust me. They'll build a fake tongue and. You know what I'm saying? Jesse Eisenberg. Am you familiar with him? Yeah, you would know him. He Was the guy that was in the Social Network.

[Amy]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

Curly hair.

[Guest/Caller]

Yep.

[Bobby Bones]

So he is donating a kidney.

[Amy]

What do you know, Eddie?

[Eddie]

Really?

[Bobby Bones]

To a stranger?

[Eddie]

No way.

[Bobby Bones]

This has been Eddie's dream. And Jesse Eisenberg shocked some folks during an appearance on the Today show. This is from CNN with an announcement. And it wasn't just that he was donating a kidney, because that's a big deal and that's enough to surprise anybody, especially when a celebrity's saying they're doing it. But he was talking about it and he says, I'm donating my kidney in six weeks. And so they said, wow, what's the deal? And he said that he's giving it to a stranger.

[Amy]

Is it so that somebody else he knows can get bumped up a list?

[Bobby Bones]

It says nothing about that.

[Eddie]

Wow.

[Bobby Bones]

He said he originally had the idea to donate years, but he never heard back from an organization he approached about doing it. And so he hit up another one, got tested not for a match, but just to see if it was healthy enough. And he's donating a kidney to a stranger.

[Eddie]

That's amazing.

[Bobby Bones]

Eddie, your thoughts? This is just something you've always said you wanted to do.

[Eddie]

Yeah, yeah. Every time I hear stories like that, I'm like, gosh, that sounds awesome. It'd be something I would love to do in the future at some point.

[Bobby Bones]

What do you think your best body part is? That if someone's like, I really need something. Donate. Like, what would be your favorite, the best part of you to donate if you could.

[Amy]

This feels like a weird question.

[Eddie]

Yeah, but think about it. It's interesting.

[Bobby Bones]

My brain?

[Eddie]

Yeah, I would say your brain for sure. You have a good brain.

[Amy]

What about the other parts?

[Bobby Bones]

You want to eat my testicles?

[Amy]

No, no, no, no, no. Guys, Bobby's brain doesn't sleep. Like.

[Guest/Caller]

Yes.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, but.

[Eddie]

But he's smart.

[Amy]

Yeah. Quick, witty.

[Bobby Bones]

So you're saying it's so worn down. Amy's like you're doing a beat up car.

[Amy]

No pros of the brain, but there's.

[Bobby Bones]

You're saying there's more trauma in my brain than there is goodness.

[Amy]

What do we do?

[Bobby Bones]

It's just as is the.

[Amy]

What else donor recipient get.

[Bobby Bones]

What else on me would they get? And what would you donate from me?

[Amy]

Well, didn't you get voted like best thighs or something?

[Bobby Bones]

Not voted. We measured. I had the biggest thighs in the.

[Amy]

Room and that led to longevity. Yes, right.

[Bobby Bones]

But my thighs, I mean, I do. I listen, I'm pretty good at leg day, but I don't Think I'm going brain. Even now you're making me feel bad about my brain.

[Amy]

Your eyes don't come with the brain.

[Bobby Bones]

Right, My eyes.

[Eddie]

No, brain's a brain.

[Bobby Bones]

No, brain's a brain.

[Amy]

I just didn't know if like full head.

[Bobby Bones]

Amy keeps finding things wrong with me and it's really making me mad.

[Amy]

Don't take it personal. I'm just like, definitely not your eyes.

[Bobby Bones]

Don't take it personal. It's everything personal about me. Okay, Brain. I donate brain. You gotta. You gotta pick a good part of you. It's hard because you get a compliment, something about yourself.

[Amy]

Yeah, I don't like that. I don't know.

[Bobby Bones]

What do you donate?

[Amy]

My hands?

[Bobby Bones]

Nah.

[Amy]

Why?

[Bobby Bones]

You have better things about you.

[Amy]

What.

[Eddie]

So you know what she's gonna say? You know what she should.

[Bobby Bones]

No, but I just don't think hands is equality for her.

[Amy]

My. Can. Can I can. I think. Can you go around the room?

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Eddie, Mine would probably be my eyes. I've got a good vision.

[Lunchbox]

I've got.

[Eddie]

Well, I don't have good vision.

[Amy]

Are you kidding?

[Eddie]

Because I have these little like daddy glasses.

[Bobby Bones]

Eyes. Because they're pretty.

[Eddie]

No, man, because I. I like, I'm visual. Like I'm a camera guy. Like my eyes. I need glasses.

[Bobby Bones]

Yes. No, but that's why.

[Eddie]

But once you have the glasses, you're good, man. Like I'm a visual guy.

[Bobby Bones]

That's more of a brain thing then. No. Yes.

[Eddie]

You need your eyes to see, but.

[Bobby Bones]

Your eyes can't see. That's the difference. Oh, my gosh.

[Eddie]

I mean.

[Bobby Bones]

Lunchbox.

[Lunchbox]

Well, I mean, I would say tongue, you know, because a lot of ladies have been experienced it and they really like what they stupid.

[Bobby Bones]

Can you imagine if he got his tongue? No, he probably rejected me.

[Eddie]

He had a yeast infection.

[Bobby Bones]

He did have a yeast. That was in my throat.

[Lunchbox]

That was actually in my throat.

[Bobby Bones]

But it touched your tongue. Don't worry.

[Lunchbox]

I'm telling you, this tongue has been in a lot of ladies mouths and none of them were complaining afterwards, I'll tell you that. So I think my tongue would be my A plus.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Bobby Bones]

Okay, Amy, back to you.

[Amy]

Part of my liver.

[Eddie]

What's wrong? Liver.

[Amy]

Yeah, I think I have a good liver.

[Bobby Bones]

What on Eddie, you set your eyes and you can't even see.

[Eddie]

What do you mean? Dude?

[Bobby Bones]

I just. Glasses.

[Eddie]

I just need glasses. But once you have the glasses, my eyes are awesome.

[Bobby Bones]

Amy, Amy, you have great hair.

[Amy]

I have extensions.

[Eddie]

Oh, thank you for telling us.

[Amy]

Well, yeah, I mean, when my hair is short, I do think I have thick hair, though. Like, I just am trying to.

[Bobby Bones]

She's so negative, even about me in this segment. She's like, your brain. What about all your childhood trauma? Do they get that, like, you try to do a bit here.

[Amy]

That's why I said my hand.

[Eddie]

Don't people like your feet?

[Amy]

That one race car guy did. And then we have that Lister, Tony Stewart.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Amy]

And then a listener continues to offer me lots of money for your feet pictures.

[Bobby Bones]

Okay, so, Jesse Eisenberg, big shout out to you, Eddie, you could surprise us one day and be like, guys, I'm actually doing it. I'm donating a kidney.

[Eddie]

I know I could.

[Bobby Bones]

We're waiting for that. Okay, well, keep waiting, Bones. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. As seasons change and days grow darker sooner, it can be a tough time for many this November, Better Help is encouraging everybody to reach out, check in on friends, reconnect with loved ones and remind the people in your life that you're there. Just as it can take a little courage to send that message or grab coffee with someone you haven't seen in a while, reaching out for therapy can be difficult, too. But it is worth it. And it almost always leaves people wondering, why didn't I do this sooner? It's easy to forget the holidays aren't filled with joy for everybody. It can bring a sense of sadness. It can trigger some emotions for some people. That's why it's important to remember to be there for your friends, to be there for your loved ones when you get the opportunity. This holiday season, BetterHelp, I believe in it. It's super easy. It's convenient. It really does work. 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[Lunchbox]

Homer is a bus driver in Donna, Texas, driving the kids to school. You know, and he sees a semi slowing down and it comes to a complete stop in the middle of the intersection. And he's like, what's going on? So he puts the red lights on, gets off the bus, and the semi driver has lost consciousness. So he's like, hey man, wake up, wake up, wake up. Calls 911 keeps the guy conscious until they arrive and they take him to the hospital and he's okay now.

[Bobby Bones]

Big shout out because I don't know that most people, myself included, would have thought anything other than that person's asleep because the truck was where in the.

[Lunchbox]

Middle of the intersection, semi going slowly and it came to a stop.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, that's.

[Amy]

I might be like, oh, I wonder why they had to stop.

[Lunchbox]

Ran out of gas and you keep.

[Amy]

Driving like, oh, that's weir.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, I know. I probably would have done that unless it felt like it was dangerous and swerving. I'd probably been like, oh, that person's price. Like, they dropped their phone and now they're just having to reach down to get it underneath the gas pedal. Like, we haven't all done that. So then you slow. You haven't done that.

[Amy]

You have it on the highway. Like, that'd be scary to slow down.

[Bobby Bones]

This is an awesome story. I guess my point is to highlight this bus driver because I don't know that I would have reacted like that.

[Eddie]

Yeah, yeah, shout out, Homer.

[Lunchbox]

And it's crazy. They just left the kids on the bus, you know, I mean, that's pretty.

[Amy]

What else are you gonna do?

[Lunchbox]

No, I know, but he opened the door, you know, the kids get out, I mean, run around the Road. Yeah, but kids sometimes don't listen, right?

[Amy]

Well, that's true.

[Lunchbox]

That's what I'm saying. It was good that the kids listened, and he was able to save something.

[Bobby Bones]

Awesome.

[Lunchbox]

Good job, Homer.

[Bobby Bones]

And saved a life. Yes, we love that. That's what it's all about. That was. Tell me something good, Bones.

[Lunchbox]

Weird.

[Bobby Bones]

When Amy suggested this segment to me, but then the more I thought about it, I thought, okay, I'm in. And I didn't read them all. I just read the first couple. So go 10 to one because you have what?

[Amy]

Yeah. These are the 10 most painful things that humans can physically experience.

[Eddie]

Whoa.

[Bobby Bones]

I saw 10 and nine for sure.

[Amy]

Yeah. But 10 and 10 still sounds pretty horrible. It's getting your arm chopped off.

[Eddie]

Oh, that's 10?

[Lunchbox]

Yes.

[Amy]

That's 10.

[Eddie]

It's going to get worse.

[Amy]

Honestly, I'm kind of surprised that some of this stuff is more painful than that.

[Bobby Bones]

And I wonder if you get your arm fully chopped off. Let's just say, because my Arkansas Keith works at a sawmill, and people would, like, lose fingers and stuff, right?

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, that's exactly why. Yes. I would think if an arm got sawed off and it was quick, you'd probably pass out.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, gosh.

[Amy]

So my half sister's stepdad lost his arm in a, like, cotton machine.

[Bobby Bones]

That's pulling it off.

[Amy]

Oh, I know. I mean, I could text her and.

[Bobby Bones]

Be like, now you're good. Number nine.

[Amy]

You know how painful number nine? Number nine is a heart attack.

[Eddie]

That's painful.

[Lunchbox]

I think it hurts.

[Eddie]

Oh, wow. I thought that was just like, I'm going.

[Bobby Bones]

You know, I thought, I've had a heart attack once. I think it's panic attack or one indigestion. Like, bad indigestion.

[Lunchbox]

We're like, oh.

[Bobby Bones]

Oh, I think I met. Oh, I'm good.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

Heartburn. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

[Amy]

Number eight, getting stabbed.

[Eddie]

Oh, I bet that's terrible.

[Bobby Bones]

Interesting. Does it. Does it say which parts of the body?

[Amy]

No, it just says getting.

[Bobby Bones]

Because if you stab me in the earlobe, I'm gonna be that painful.

[Eddie]

That's like, ears pierced.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah. Or the skin on the back of my elbow. If somebody's, like, really mad and they swing a knife at me and they only get the skin on the back of my elbow. I'm like, that didn't even hurt, sucka. But other places, I can imagine in.

[Eddie]

The movies when people get stabbed in the stomach, that looks bad because their face is always like, yes.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, maybe, too, because they realize they're dying.

[Eddie]

Oh, that too.

[Amy]

You know that skin on the back of your elbow is called wenus?

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah.

[Amy]

She gets stabbed in the wieners.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, I bet if you got stabbed in the. Oh, bad too. Yep. Okay.

[Guest/Caller]

Okay.

[Amy]

7. Getting shot in the chest.

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, that. That seems like it hurts.

[Amy]

Getting hit by a car at 30 miles per hour.

[Bobby Bones]

Did they lift it up? It's 5, 4, 3, 2, and 1. At 40 miles an hour, 50 miles.

[Eddie]

An hour all the way to 1.

[Amy]

Yes. I wonder if the faster, the less painful because it's just like it's over.

[Eddie]

You don't even feel it.

[Bobby Bones]

Okay.

[Amy]

Now this was interesting to me because the number five is passing a kidney stone.

[Lunchbox]

Wow.

[Amy]

Or kidney stones, plural. And what's crazy is I had one of those full body scans and I have kidney stones, but I've never passed them. And so I wait for the day.

[Bobby Bones]

I'd like to ask a question that is fully uninformed. I feel like this is my feeling and then my question. I feel like it's way more painful for a guy to pass one than a woman because our holes are smaller and not meant for things to come out.

[Eddie]

Stop.

[Lunchbox]

No, it's true.

[Eddie]

It's the same size hole.

[Amy]

No, I don't think it is crazy.

[Eddie]

It's got to be the same.

[Amy]

I don't know.

[Bobby Bones]

Do you think a baby could come out of your.

[Amy]

Bobby, the baby doesn't come out of the pee hole.

[Bobby Bones]

No, I know, but I'm just saying.

[Amy]

Just making sure.

[Bobby Bones]

No, no, but I'm just saying it's got to go that direction.

[Amy]

Okay. I don't know.

[Eddie]

Is the same size.

[Lunchbox]

It is generally harder for a man to pass a kidney stone due to anatomical differences.

[Bobby Bones]

Yes, that's what I'm talking about.

[Eddie]

Women have larger P holes.

[Bobby Bones]

No. The only way out of us is that P hole.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Eddie]

Or the other one.

[Amy]

So B hole.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, I would think it would be harder for a dude.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Lunchbox]

And it has to do with the urethra. The males. Urethra, whatever.

[Amy]

Yalls. Urethra is smaller, 20 cm long.

[Bobby Bones]

R, E, S, P, E, C, T.

[Lunchbox]

And the female's only four, so it has to travel longer for a male, so it's more painful.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Bobby Bones]

I just feel like all that down there in a woman is a little more elastic.

[Amy]

This isn't number. Like, maybe they didn't put these in order of pain because.

[Eddie]

Yeah, the heart attack.

[Bobby Bones]

If next one is paper cut, I'm out.

[Eddie]

Maybe reading it backwards.

[Amy]

If passing a guinea is more painful than. Than getting my arm chopped off, it could be, though.

[Bobby Bones]

Because you might pass out.

[Lunchbox]

You're right. My brother had kidney stones. And, I mean, the dude couldn't. I mean, he was in bed for, like, weeks. Like, he couldn't.

[Bobby Bones]

My buddy got his arm chopped off. Was doing a dance competition the next week.

[Lunchbox]

I mean, there's that one guy. He chopped his own arm off and was able to walk back to safety.

[Bobby Bones]

He broke it off.

[Amy]

Now we probably want to call my sister Kim.

[Eddie]

He broke it.

[Bobby Bones]

Oh, that's tough. Okay.

[Amy]

Number four, getting kicked in the nuts.

[Bobby Bones]

Oh, that's probably one. I feel like this has been underrated. You guys have no idea. Getting kicked in the nuts, far worse than getting a shot in the chest while your arms getting chopped off.

[Eddie]

Yes, because the pain doesn't stay in that area. It's everywhere.

[Bobby Bones]

Imagine this. Imagine there's a boiling cauldron of acid. Okay, good. No, just. Just imagine it. And as you're getting dropped in the acid, somebody hit you in the head with a 2x4. Got it.

[Amy]

Got it.

[Bobby Bones]

And then someone shoots you in the chest and then points and laps. That's the same as getting kicked in the nut.

[Eddie]

That's it.

[Bobby Bones]

But you don't know.

[Amy]

No, you're right. I don't know.

[Bobby Bones]

All right, next at number three, childbirth. Not switch those two, but. Okay.

[Amy]

Okay, so I texted my sister. She's passed kidney stones, and she's now given birth. She said the kidney stone is much worse.

[Bobby Bones]

Wow.

[Amy]

Wow. Because she gave birth with no medication, right? No, she had the epidural, so that's where it helps.

[Bobby Bones]

Probably a factor, too, is how big the kidney stones are. Honestly. Yeah, A bigger kidney stone, probably. Like, my friend had a kidney stone. Eight pounds, three ounces. That's a baby. Oh, my bad. I got that confused. I got that confused. I would switch, but here's the thing. I'm kidding. Because we don't know. A guy can never know what it's like to have a baby, and a woman can never know what it's like to get kicked in the nuts. Go ahead, guys.

[Amy]

These are definitely not in order.

[Lunchbox]

No, they are.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, I know. For sure.

[Amy]

Okay. And number two, I mean, this sounds pretty bad, but I feel like you just pass out. Getting hit by a train at 80 miles per hour.

[Bobby Bones]

That sounds right. That's number.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah. So bad.

[Lunchbox]

Like, how do. How do you think that feels? What could be worse?

[Bobby Bones]

There's a whole song about that, too. I want to know how getting it with a train feels. Number one.

[Amy]

Number one, this just.

[Bobby Bones]

Yep.

[Amy]

This is the worst.

[Bobby Bones]

Give it up.

[Amy]

Getting burnt Alive.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, that's.

[Bobby Bones]

This is in order then?

[Lunchbox]

That's in order.

[Amy]

Well, yeah, that part feels right.

[Bobby Bones]

But the only two I would switch are the birth and the nuts. Other than that order.

[Eddie]

Did you ever burn your hand, like on the oven, like your whole body burnt? Oh, gosh.

[Amy]

So my dad got third degree burns all over his body because he was underneath a. A gas stove like oven thing at a restaurant, trying to like fix it, and it blew up on him and he had to get. He was in Colorado, in a tiny town. And so they had to, you know, starflight him to Denver or something. And when. By the time he got back to Austin, I was a little girl and I just remember he looked like a mummy.

[Announcer]

His.

[Amy]

But he was wrapped like head to toe and his face was like charcoal looking. And then white gauze everywhere else.

[Lunchbox]

And third degree is the worst, right?

[Bobby Bones]

Third degree.

[Amy]

Second and third degree. Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

So like first degree murder is the worst. The third degree burns. We've been through this.

[Lunchbox]

No, we had this talk the other day and now I was confused.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, no, I think because of how deep it burns.

[Amy]

Yes. Like there was parts once he healed, like he didn't have hair in those areas because like there. And the skin was all discolored, like sort of pale pink.

[Bobby Bones]

Hey, thanks for that segment. That was good.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

I want to go over to Janet, who is listening in New York. Hey, Janet, you're on the show.

[Janet]

I have a marriage rule that my husband and I have used for the past 27 years.

[Bobby Bones]

All right, give it to us.

[Janet]

Only one of us can be crazy at a time. And when the one is crazy, the other one has to support them.

[Bobby Bones]

Give me an example.

[Janet]

If you just get spun up about something at work or something uncontrollable, whatever is kind of creating a great amount of angst or stress or whatever, you get to get that out and the other person has to support you.

[Bobby Bones]

I feel that in theory, that's great. I just know that I can't predict when I'm feeling odd off or crazy. And so I know with my wife if she's ever feeling odd off, hormonal, hungry, who knows that sometimes crazy happens to me. Crazy, I mean, and that's. That's a cold front, meaning a warm front, then tornado happens type thing. So that's hard. If you're both feeling that way, how do one of you suppress that? If one do you call it. It's like dib. Like shotgun crazy. I call crazy. So you can't be.

[Amy]

I'm crazy first.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, yeah. Like how do you deal with that if you're both feeling a bit off?

[Janet]

It has happened that independently. We've gotten spun up about something and we actually timed it. Okay, when did yours start first? And when the other person came out, it was like, okay, can I go now? Yep, you can go now.

[Bobby Bones]

I like that because there is an absolute boundary of. Here's the line when I got crazy, and it's before yours, so I'm going to go. And then when I'm complete, you shall go. I like that.

[Amy]

That reminds me of the advice I shared at your rehearsal dinner. Do you remember?

[Bobby Bones]

We can't stop talking about it. But hold on. Of course I remember. But for those that don't, over there.

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Bobby Bones]

Would you mind telling them?

[Eddie]

Remind them.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, I remembered, of course, because for all of us who do, but for everybody else who doesn't remember, just share with them.

[Amy]

Okay, so you guys are gonna love this.

[Bobby Bones]

I'm gonna stop thinking about it since.

[Amy]

It'S so good now. This is not the same thing, but it reminded me of it. And it's from Brene Brown and something she does in her marriage of a lot of times. You know, her marriage is 50, it's 100. So, okay, fine. If you look at a marriage as, yes, you've got 100%. But, you know, one day, Bobby, you know, Caitlyn calls you and she's like, I mean, I can barely keep it together. Like, I'm. There's so much going on. I'm spiraling. I think I've got about 10% in the tank. Then, Bobby, you get to come in and let her know where you are. And if you're having a solid day and you're like, hey, I got you. Because I've got 90%, boom. Together, we're 100. Like, whatever you need. Just, I can help you. However, you might be having a day where you're, like, shooting. I'm at 10% too. So together as a team, you're operating at 20%, which is no good. And that's when you work together and you look at the calendar and you're like, okay, what do we have? What can we move around? What can we cancel? Do we need to cook dinner tonight? Let's throw. Like, if we got fresh food, throw it in the freezer so it doesn't go bad, and we'll just order food or we'll go out. Like, make life as simple as possible that you can so you can survive the next 24 hours or whatever it is to get back to 100% instead of exhausting yourselves, like, oh, shoot, well, we had dinner plans with, you know, Cindy and Kurt.

[Bobby Bones]

Here's one thing. One thing we're bad at at this show is coming up with contemporary names. When we're doing the story. Like, it doesn't matter what the story is. Like, we're launching names that weren't even names when we were kids. We're picking names off, like, the Munsters and Brady Bunch of 1700s or comic strips.

[Amy]

Right, right. But you're like, oh, we don't. You know, we're supposed to go out with Cindy and Kurt, but it's really not that big of a deal. So you can cancel on Cindy and Kurt, you know, just to, like, so y' all can have. Maybe you need to take a bath. Maybe you need to read a book. Maybe you need to go to bed early. Like, whatever you can do to, you know, refuel so that you can survive the day or the week or whatever. And so it's just a. It's a percentage communication thing with your partner.

[Bobby Bones]

I like it, and I haven't stopped thinking about it since the rehearsal dinner.

[Lunchbox]

I see how you haven't forgotten that.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah. And so for everybody else that didn't remember that, I'm glad that you could be reintroduced.

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah.

[Lunchbox]

That was incredible.

[Bobby Bones]

Words to live by.

[Lunchbox]

Very short and sweet.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

Well, hey, not really what she's known.

[Amy]

For, but I feel like for. For me, that was concise.

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Like, I delivered that in the most concise way that I possibly could.

[Bobby Bones]

Yes. Janet, really appreciate that you've been married for how long did you say?

[Janet]

27 years.

[Amy]

Okay. Well, she knows what's up.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah. Good for you.

[Amy]

Like, happily.

[Bobby Bones]

Well, 22 of those. That's usually what someone says today.

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah.

[Janet]

But, yeah, mostly.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

Janet, we really appreciate you listening. Thank you for the call and hope you have an awesome day.

[Janet]

Thank you. I hope you all do, too.

[Bobby Bones]

I'm going to assume that everybody messages their friends. I'm also going to assume that sometimes you run into issues when messaging, especially during group chats. It is really important that my digital messaging is clear. No mistakes. It's also important when I send messages that they send quickly and that I get responses quickly. WhatsApp can help with all that. First, you can message privately with everyone in a group, even if you're using totally different phones. Sent a message too fast and you regret it. No problem. Just edit it. And when the chat gets a little too intense, you can switch to a group video call and actually talk it out. Photos and videos come through clear messages get delivered without gaps or delays. Plus WhatsApp has so many great features like polls, pinned messages, even event invites with RSVPs. So planning stuff just doesn't turn into a big old mess, it just makes a lot of sense. It's time for WhatsApp message privately with everyone. This episode of the Bobby Bones show brought to you by Chase Sapphire Reserve Everybody loves to travel, right? Weekend getaways, a once in a lifetime vacation, all of it. And no matter where you're going, Chase Sapphire Reserve is your gateway to the world's most captivating destinations. Travel is its own reward. You know you're out there having experiences that you can't have any other way. And with your Chase Sapphire Reserve card, you're also being rewarded. You earn eight times points on all purchases through Chase Travel. So let's say you book a trip to Hawaii, you go surfing at Sunset beach, you go hiking on a volcano, you go out to dinner. With the Chase Sapphire Reserve card, you're actually earning points for going on a grand adventure anywhere you go, any trip you take. And that's not even mentioning how the card gets you into the Sapphire Lounge by the club at select airports nationwide and access to one of a kind experiences like music festivals and sports events. Whether you're booking your next big trip or a weekend escape, Chase Sapphire Reserve makes travel more rewarding. Discover more with Chase sapphire [e-mail] Sapphire Reserve cards issued by JP Morgan Chase Bank NA member FDIC subject to credit approval Terms apply. Military life is not predictable, but earning your Master's degree can be. With American Military University's 40 + flexible online master's programs, you can stay mission ready while you get market ready. Learn anywhere, anytime. With an education built to keep pace steady, reliable and always accessible. Plus, military service members, veterans and their families can save up to 45% on master's tuition with AMU special rates and grants. Learn more at Amu Apus Edu Amu Apus Edu Amu steady through every mission do you want to slay your holiday shopping this year? Pick up some Massage Envy gift Cards Easy to give thoughtful gift for everybody on your list at franchise location near you now through December 31, 2025, you'll get a free 20 promo card when you buy a hundred dollars in gift cards in location. Note to elf add the promo card to their gift so you can give them even more. Offer terms apply. See location for details. As for your holiday to do list, make sure it includes some me time so you can unwind with a Therapeutic massage, stretch session, professional skin care service. You know, like a refreshing facial designed to focus on specific skin concerns, fine lines, blemishes, dullness, uneven looking skin tone and a whole bunch more. Because your well deserved me time should be all about you, book a session [e-mail] Time for a sofa upgrade.

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[Amy]

Get early access.

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[Bobby Bones]

Lunchbox has been going to the doctor. He's got this pain and it's like on his left hip. Where would you say it is? Lunchbox?

[Lunchbox]

It is if you go to your belly button and go about 6 inches to your left. Right there above the waistline.

[Bobby Bones]

Okay, everybody feeling that?

[Lunchbox]

Got it.

[Bobby Bones]

So he's got this pain that has been happening over and over again. When does it hurt the most?

[Lunchbox]

Just when I'm moving. Like if I stretch, if I get out of bed, get off the couch. I mean anything, it's anything. It's just a constant pain. It's been there for about four months.

[Bobby Bones]

Does it hurt right now?

[Lunchbox]

If I pull my arm up, it hurts.

[Amy]

But like on a scale of 1 to 10 because you didn't look that.

[Lunchbox]

No, no, no. It's not like I'm in dire pain right then, but I can feel it. It's an annoying pain, but if I try to go like run 50 yards, it's like a sharp pain.

[Bobby Bones]

Okay. He needs a nice start with all the smiley faces and he's got to pick the one that he feels.

[Amy]

Yes. The level of pain.

[Bobby Bones]

Yes. Okay, so we've been talking about this because he went to the doctor, they said nothing. You went back to another doctor? They said nothing. He went back to another doctor.

[Eddie]

What?

[Lunchbox]

They say, oh, yeah, just do some. It's probably your pelvic floor. Just google some YouTube videos.

[Bobby Bones]

The fact that you're going to doctors, and over and over they're just telling you to Google and YouTube stuff. Are you going to real doctors?

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, I'm going to real doctors. I find them on Google. And so then I made. They said, oh, maybe it's just gas. I'm like, I've had four months of gas. They said, yeah, you should go see a gastroenterologist. Gastroenterologist. I don't know how you say it. Yeah, so I made my appointment and I went, so wait, so then you.

[Bobby Bones]

Went to that doctor?

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, I just went to that. The gastroenterologist this week.

[Amy]

Gastro.

[Eddie]

Is that what it is?

[Amy]

Gastroenterologist.

[Bobby Bones]

So what'd the gastroenterologist tell you?

[Lunchbox]

He comes in and he's like, here? Yeah, I don't think it has anything to do with your colon, but we'll give you a colonoscopy next week. I'm like, wait, wait, what? And he's like, yeah, I. I don't think it's anything to do with your colon, but might as well get in there and give you a colonoscopy.

[Amy]

Did you tell him that some listeners had thought it could be diverticulitis?

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, and he told me that he's a doctor and they're not and that.

[Bobby Bones]

It'S a great point.

[Lunchbox]

And he literally said. He goes, yeah, I don't think it's anything with gastro, but, you know, we'll go in there and just take a look anyway. Like, wait a minute. I came in here for you to give me a solution, and you just bait and switched me. It's like I got conned into signing up for a colonoscopy.

[Amy]

No, no, no, no. Okay, listen, this could be one of those things where, like, I knew of someone once where they fell off a horse and broke their collarbone.

[Bobby Bones]

And.

[Amy]

And then when they went to the doctor, they found a tumor right there by the collarbone, and they wouldn't have found it unless they broke their collarbone. So what if they go in for the colonoscopy lunchbox doesn't feel like he really needs that at this moment. But what if this is the thing that leads you to finding the other thing?

[Lunchbox]

I see what you're saying, but the doctor is the one that said, oh, I don't think it has anything to do with your colon.

[Amy]

That's what I'm saying. Like, the pain, whatever they find has nothing to do with the left of your belly button. It could be something totally different, but they discover it because of this.

[Bobby Bones]

This.

[Amy]

You have to do it.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, I'm like, I'm very confused on how we went from. Hey, it has nothing to do with your colon. You're fine. You need to go see a different doctor, too. Oh, but we're going to do your colonoscopy. Like, what? Like, if it's not my colon, why am I doing a colonoscopy?

[Amy]

Because it could be good to discover what's hiding.

[Bobby Bones]

I would take a tube and go up every hole in your body.

[Lunchbox]

Whoa. I don't know about that. So, yeah, I. I don't know. That's interesting.

[Eddie]

Weird.

[Lunchbox]

I just want to be safe.

[Bobby Bones]

Go in the hole in the front. The back. Go. Yeah, yeah.

[Amy]

You're middle 40s. It's time. Have you ever had a colonoscopy?

[Bobby Bones]

You ever had a full, whole, whole search?

[Lunchbox]

No. He said that, you know, you start getting colonoscopies at 45. And so he goes, but we'll just get it out of the way. Why not? And I'm like, what? Like, huh?

[Bobby Bones]

I support this lunchbox's impressions of every one of his doctors. Feels like he goes to the all.

[Eddie]

The three stooges, and they're all lazy. I don't know.

[Bobby Bones]

What do you know?

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, I mean, does it not sound that way when he tells you after he presses on the area and it's like, yeah, I don't think it's your colon, but we'll get you in next week for a colonoscopy.

[Bobby Bones]

But we don't know how it sounds because we just hear an impression you're doing of him.

[Lunchbox]

Right. But, I mean, when someone tells you, hey, it's not this, but we're still gonna have you come in for this procedure. It's like, they just want my money.

[Amy]

No, you're gonna need to get one at 45. Anyway, he's saying, let's just go ahead and knock it out now get a colonoscopy.

[Bobby Bones]

It's not that hard.

[Lunchbox]

Do it.

[Bobby Bones]

I've had one.

[Amy]

You're doing.

[Bobby Bones]

It's weird. The day before when you're having to drink whatever concoction and, you know, clear everything out, that. That stinks. But it's fine. You go in, you put a little dress on, you lay in the bed.

[Eddie]

They put a dress on.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, one of those little gown.

[Eddie]

Oh, got it. Got it.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, I wore a dress. They gave you an option. You wear a Gown or you go for. Yeah, I wore a prom dress. I'd always wanted to. And so then you wake up, and the next thing you know, you're wheeled out of there. When do you have your colonoscopy?

[Lunchbox]

We set it up for next week, like on a Tuesday. So.

[Amy]

So he's not gonna be here?

[Bobby Bones]

No, no.

[Lunchbox]

It's not like. No, no. They do them all day. Man, you're gonna be good.

[Amy]

You can't come to work also, it's.

[Bobby Bones]

Not like a froyo place. You can't get it at any time.

[Eddie]

Why can't he come to work?

[Amy]

Because he's gonna be going to the bathroom. Oh, all the time.

[Lunchbox]

No, literally, they said, oh, we got 8:00am we got 10:00am, 1:00pm, 2:00pm I mean, I'm like. Like, it only takes 15 minutes. Real quick, in and out.

[Bobby Bones]

15 minutes?

[Amy]

Yeah, but it's 24 hours of prep before that. 15 minutes, like, but also, yes, you have to get there. They have to sedate you. It's not like.

[Bobby Bones]

I don't know he's gone to a single doctor. When hearing all these stories, I know.

[Lunchbox]

I'm concerned, and I, I. He was like, did you get any imaging done? I was like, yeah, here's my CT scan. I had it on a disc. You know, he goes.

[Bobby Bones]

He's like, here's my kids pictures.

[Lunchbox]

We don't have a CD rom. I won't be able to look at that.

[Eddie]

You had it on a cd.

[Bobby Bones]

He brought up a floppy.

[Eddie]

I burned it.

[Lunchbox]

That's. That's common practice in the medical industry. I'm learning this.

[Bobby Bones]

We're rooting for you.

[Lunchbox]

Well, these doctors aren't. I'll tell you what.

[Bobby Bones]

I don't think that you are translating what and how they're saying to us in the way they're saying it, honestly. But I hope they find out what's wrong.

[Lunchbox]

Thank you. Because, I mean, I'm giving you two word for word and inflection. Perfect.

[Bobby Bones]

I have. My surgery is next week, too.

[Amy]

For sure.

[Bobby Bones]

For sure.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Bobby Bones]

And my doctors have all said, you have an actual issue and we should get it fixed.

[Eddie]

None of your doctors said, like, I.

[Bobby Bones]

Don'T know, what the heck, let's just cut in there and see what we find.

[Amy]

You don't really need it, but we're gonna go ahead and put some cadaver tendons in you anyway.

[Bobby Bones]

How would you like a third ankle?

[Amy]

Oh, no. It's cartilage, right?

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Amy]

So what do you have to do to prep for your surgery?

[Bobby Bones]

I'm not sure. Yet. But I don't know.

[Amy]

Well, how can we support you?

[Lunchbox]

You can't.

[Bobby Bones]

I don't need support.

[Eddie]

Can we get you, like, get well soon Balloons?

[Bobby Bones]

If you show up with balloons and a teddy bear when it's an. When it's an outpatient procedure at the doctor's office, you just chase me home in the car. Okay. Lunchbox. We're rooting for you, buddy. I know it's been a lot of process.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

Good luck. And I don't think you realize what you're getting into. If you just think you're gonna go and walk in and walk out, it's gonna be a pretty tough 24 hours leading up to it. Oh, I would have had it scheduled on a Friday. Like, I'm doing mine.

[Amy]

Oh, yours is on a Friday?

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, it has to be.

[Eddie]

That's smart.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

I was like, I can't do anything except on a Friday after work because I have a job.

[Lunchbox]

He told me one o', clock. So I thought, okay, no big deal.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

Mine said, can you do a Tuesday or Wednesday? I said, I cannot. I can only do Fridays. And they're like, gotcha. We'll give you the last surgery on Friday.

[Eddie]

Perfect. It's good.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah.

[Amy]

It's responsible.

[Bobby Bones]

Thank you, thank you, thank you. It's time for the Good News with producer Eddie. Tell me something good.

[Eddie]

Sixteen members of the U.S. naval Academy, class of 1975, decided to raise some money for charity. What did they do? They got on their bikes and they rode 1200 miles from Florida all the way to Annapolis.

[Bobby Bones]

Bicycles.

[Eddie]

Bicycles. It took them 30 days to do it. They're all in their 70s. They're not young. They rode their bikes, and when they got there, there was a huge party because it was their 50th class reunion. So friends, family, they shot cannons. It was a huge thing. And best of all, they raised one. $160,000.

[Amy]

Oh, wow.

[Bobby Bones]

That's awesome.

[Amy]

It's legit.

[Bobby Bones]

1200 miles is a long way. Yeah. My wife did a charity bike ride once, and I don't know how far it was. It was all through the state of Texas, and you had to spend the night, like a tent or something? This is. Not that I'm not comparing the two, but the reason I think about it is you know how whenever you see, like, a bike race or even a run or a swim, and everybody's all clam together at the very beginning and they're, like, off. So she was in that and somebody, like, hit her and she flipped over, like, head over and Broke her wrist, shatter her hand. And they were just like stuck in like Waco or something. And so she had to finish like the next 200 miles with. So she has like bolts in her hand still from the race.

[Eddie]

Yeah, that's like Tour de France stuff right there.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

When all of them tumble over like that.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, it was for charity.

[Eddie]

That's good.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, yeah. And I'm not comparing the two, but when I think of these bike races, I think about how you get injured. Also, when I did triathlons, I didn't know how to change a tire and I remember thinking if my body I get a flat, I'm done. So yeah, yeah, just like I just have to just quit it because I don't know how to change a tire. And yeah, shout out to these guys. Also one more thing that comes to mind. 1975.

[Eddie]

1975.

[Bobby Bones]

That's 50 years. I know, man, we weren't even born then. But still that's.

[Eddie]

No, I was not born then.

[Bobby Bones]

Oh, you weren't?

[Eddie]

Nope. I knew you were going to say that, Amy.

[Amy]

I mean, yeah, I said it, but I mean everybody was singing it.

[Bobby Bones]

That's a great story. That's what it's all about. That was. Tell me something good. Bone wake up. You wake up in the morning. Then you turn the radio on and the dial just keeps on turning. This wig's next bit and Bobby's on the mic. So you know what this is? This is the now time for the morning corny.

[Lunchbox]

The morning corny.

[Amy]

What did the alien say to the cat?

[Bobby Bones]

What did the alien say to the cat?

[Amy]

Take me to your litter.

[Bobby Bones]

That was the morning corning.

[Amy]

Get it? Like leader.

[Eddie]

Well, he loves aliens. He likes.

[Lunchbox]

That's right.

[Bobby Bones]

On his island.

[Amy]

Honestly, I was like, this joke is kind of dumb. Bobby liked it.

[Bobby Bones]

Bobby Bone show story of the day.

[Lunchbox]

This story comes to us from Bath, New York. A 33 year old man was at the bank drive thru and it was taking longer than he wanted it to. So when they finally little said, hello sir, how can I help you today? He lit a cigar, stuck it in the little tube and sent it into the bank. And so when the employee opened it. Oh, smoke all in their face. And they had to be treated for smoke inhalation.

[Eddie]

What?

[Amy]

Really?

[Eddie]

That's too much.

[Lunchbox]

No, no, they did.

[Bobby Bones]

They said this guy's a moron. But smoke inhalation coming out of one of those little tubes?

[Eddie]

No chance.

[Bobby Bones]

Someone's being a tad bit dramatic.

[Lunchbox]

They said the bank teller had to be treated by emergency personnel for smoke.

[Bobby Bones]

Did the bank teller, open it and start huffing it, because there's no way. Again, I don't want the story to be shifted, because that guy sucks.

[Eddie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

But also, it looks like someone's trying to get a few paid days off work.

[Amy]

Yeah, well, we don't know.

[Eddie]

Well, you get an idea.

[Bobby Bones]

You're right. Mostly we don't, but yeah. Okay.

[Lunchbox]

I'm Lunchbox. That's your bonehead. Story of the day, Bones.

[Bobby Bones]

My wife's new code word for hey, would you get up and get me some food? Is. Wherever I am in the house. I get a text going, hey, do you know if the kitchen's open?

[Amy]

Is it open for business?

[Eddie]

I would hate that.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, that's annoying.

[Bobby Bones]

It's funny to me because it's.

[Amy]

I don't think it's annoying. Why would it be annoying?

[Eddie]

Because you know what she means.

[Bobby Bones]

Well, yeah, and she could just be like, hey, go make me some toast.

[Eddie]

And you're like, yes, ma'.

[Guest/Caller]

Am.

[Amy]

Yeah, but she's being.

[Bobby Bones]

She's being funny.

[Amy]

Funny. Yeah. She's got whimsy.

[Bobby Bones]

There's some whimsy there. And sometimes It'll be like 9:45, and I'm, like, half asleep. But you're like, hey, if I'm even in the bed. Because sometimes I sleep upstairs. Hey, can I ask you a question? Yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry. Yeah. What's up? Do you know if the kitchen's open?

[Eddie]

And then what do you say?

[Bobby Bones]

Last time I checked, they all went home.

[Eddie]

Everyone's gone.

[Bobby Bones]

She's like. She's like, is there any way you could call, like, just anybody? Like, you don't have to call the main chef, but even just, like, somebody who works in the kitchen. And I'm like, well, like, what. What. What food do you desire? Kind of. It just depends. And she's like, I did toast with some butter and maybe some orange juice filled up to the brim. Yeah, I can call someone, Open it up.

[Guest/Caller]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

So it's funny. Cause she easily could just say, hey, would you go make me food now? What? She's pregnant, right? That's what you do. You just get pregnant. You just go do crap for people. But, yeah, that's her latest that I.

[Eddie]

You know, my wife tells me and drives me nuts. She says, do you want to do the dishes tonight?

[Guest/Caller]

No.

[Lunchbox]

And I'm like, no, I don't want.

[Bobby Bones]

To, but I will sometimes. She'll say, do you want to sleep upstairs tonight? And I'm like, no, I don't. I definitely don't. So if you would like me to tell, right? Because I do not want to sleep upstairs because that bed sucks in the guest room. And then she's like, well we should get a new bed for the guest room so you can make it comfortable. And I'm like no, that means I'm up there even more. Then that means it's gonna be like my place. We're done. Bye everybody. The Bobby Bone Show Theme song written, produced and sang by Reed Yarberry. You can find his Instagram reedyarberry Scuba Steve Executive Producer Raymundo Head of Production I'm Bobby Bones. My Instagram is Mr. Bobby Bones. Thank you for listening to the podcast. This episode of the Bobby Bones show is brought to you by Chase Sapphire Reserve. Traveling is one of life's greatest joys. Honestly, can anything be more exhilarating? Yeah, it can. With Chase Sapphire Reserve, it's your getaway to the world's most captivating destination. First, you'll earn eight times points on all purchases through Chase Travel and the card gets you into the Sapphire Lounge by the club at select airports nationwide and access to one of a kind experiences. Whether you are booking a once in a lifetime trip or your next weekend escape. Discover more with Chase sapphire [e-mail] Sapphire Reserve cards issued by JPMorgan Chase Bank NA member FDIC subject to credit approval terms apply. Let massage envy help you slay your holiday gift list this season. Now through December 31, 2025. Get a free 20 promo card when you buy 100 in gift cards in location terms apply. See Franchise Location for details. Make sure your holiday to do list includes some me time so you can unwind with a therapeutic massage, stretch session or professional skin care service like a refreshing facial focused on a specific skin concern. Book yours [e-mail] yo do you know Ball?

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[Bobby Bones]

Terms and conditions apply.

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[Bobby Bones]

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[Guest/Caller]

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[Amy]

This is an I Heart podcast.