MORGAN: Seasoned Souls: Love Stories & Life Lessons from Four Remarkable Lives

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Bobby Bones Show
Episode: MORGAN: Seasoned Souls: Love Stories & Life Lessons from Four Remarkable Lives
Release Date: July 13, 2025
Host: Morgan Huelsman
Produced by: Premiere Networks

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Introduction

In this heartfelt episode of The Bobby Bones Show, host Morgan Huelsman invites four remarkable residents to share their life stories, offering listeners a blend of love, resilience, and invaluable life lessons. From decades-long marriages to overcoming personal challenges, each guest provides unique insights that resonate deeply with audiences of all ages.

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Guest 1: Ms. Larry Gay

Age: 87
Occupation: Retired Educator and Administrator

Life Overview:
Ms. Larry Gay dedicated 66 years to the field of education, earning two master’s degrees in Spanish and French before pursuing a doctorate in educational leadership from Vanderbilt University. Her career spanned teaching languages at community colleges to serving as a vice president at two Florida community colleges. Even after retirement, she continued teaching online for four universities.

Key Discussions:

• Passion for Education and Travel:
  Ms. Gay emphasized how her love for teaching intertwined with her passion for travel, allowing her to explore places like Machu Picchu and the Galapagos Islands.
  “I got to go to Machu Picchu and the Galapagos Islands as a result...” [03:46]

• Cultural Enrichment and Life Lessons:
  She shared profound experiences, including aiding a doctor imprisoned in China and teaching in Honduras, highlighting the universal struggles and enrichments from diverse cultures.
  “I learned a lot from the students, too, that enriched my life...” [05:41]

• Transition to Independent Living:
  Moving to Abe’s Garden provided her with companionship and a supportive community, especially after losing her spouse.
  “We play bridge, I play canasta... It's all about helping each other.” [10:05]

Notable Quote:
“Find ways to be kind to other people. Giving of yourself, the reward comes back to you.” – Ms. Larry Gay [13:38]

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Guest 2: Ms. Brenda

Age: 81
Occupation: Retired Secretary and Mother

Life Overview:
Ms. Brenda spent 10-15 years working as a secretary before focusing on her family. She is happily married for 59 years and is a proud mother of three children.

Key Discussions:

• Balancing Career and Family:
  She reflected on her time as a secretary and later as a stay-at-home mom, finding fulfillment in being present for her children.
  “I'm glad I was there. My children seemed to enjoy knowing that mama was going to be home.” [16:27]

• Long-lasting Marriage:
  Celebrating nearly six decades of marriage, Ms. Brenda attributes her enduring relationship to compromise and letting go of grudges.
  “Compromise and don't hold a grudge.” [17:19]

• Overcoming Challenges:
  Discussed the emotional journey of caring for her husband with Parkinson’s and dementia, emphasizing the importance of family support and finding joy in daily interactions.
  “It's sad... But life goes on and try to make the best of it.” [20:13]

Notable Quote:
“Take it one day at a time and enjoy your day. We're not guaranteed tomorrow, so enjoy your day.” – Ms. Brenda [26:35]

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Guest 3: Ward

Age: 87
Occupation: Retired

Life Overview:
Ward shares an impressive 64-year marriage with his wife, Deanna. Their relationship is marked by mutual support, love for dancing, and a deep family bond.

Key Discussions:

• Secrets to a Long Marriage:
  Ward humorously attributes his long marriage to always saying "yes, ma'am," emphasizing flexibility and not insisting on being right.
  “Always say yes, ma'am... You need to be flexible. Give and take.” [28:05]

• Shared Passions:
  Their love for dancing and music brought them closer, participating in dance contests and enjoying musical evenings together.
  “We danced and danced and won second place.” [32:03]

• Family and Legacy:
  Proudly watching his children and grandchildren pursue their dreams, Ward highlights the joy of family growth across generations.
  “We love seeing what they're doing. It's a real joy to be part of their lives.” [33:37]

• Health Challenges:
  Discussed Deanna's stroke and their transition to a senior living facility, underscoring the importance of community and support in later years.
  “It's changed our lives... good food, good friends, and opportunity to do things like this.” [35:52]

Notable Quote:
“Don't give up your dream. Hang in there if it takes a little longer than you thought it would.” – Ward [40:53]

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Guest 4: Ms. Shirley

Age: 90
Occupation: Retired Human Resources Professional

Life Overview:
Ms. Shirley retired from a significant role in human resources at Vanderbilt, overseeing both the hospital and the university sectors. After a divorce, she reinvigorated her career while raising a family.

Key Discussions:

• Family First:
  Ms. Shirley always prioritized being a mother and wife, finding joy in raising her children and engaging in family activities.
  “I always wanted to be a mother and a wife and have a house. It was all family.” [43:52]

• Career After Divorce:
  Post-divorce, she ventured into the workforce, excelling in roles that allowed her to balance professional fulfillment with family responsibilities.
  “I had several jobs... I loved working.” [45:03]

• Embracing Single Life:
  Choosing to remain single, Ms. Shirley found contentment in her independence and deep connections with her family and grandchildren.
  “I've learned that being old is not the worst thing in the world. I love not working at all.” [46:24]

• Health and Disability:
  Reflecting on becoming disabled, she expresses regret over reduced mobility but finds solace in family and daily interactions.
  “I wish I hadn't become disabled... But I've traveled a lot, but I couldn't do more.” [50:22]

Notable Quote:
“Learn to just live life on your own time.” – Ms. Shirley [51:00]

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Conclusion

This episode of The Bobby Bones Show serves as a poignant reminder of the rich lives led by its seasoned residents. Through their stories, listeners gain inspiration on enduring love, overcoming adversity, and the importance of kindness and family. The guests' reflections offer valuable lessons on living a fulfilling life, no matter the stage.

Final Thought:
The collective wisdom of Ms. Larry Gay, Ms. Brenda, Ward, and Ms. Shirley underscores that life's true rewards lie in relationships, resilience, and the simple acts of kindness we extend to others.

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Notable Quotes Recap:

• “Find ways to be kind to other people. Giving of yourself, the reward comes back to you.” – Ms. Larry Gay [13:38]
• “Take it one day at a time and enjoy your day. We're not guaranteed tomorrow, so enjoy your day.” – Ms. Brenda [26:35]
• “Don't give up your dream. Hang in there if it takes a little longer than you thought it would.” – Ward [40:53]
• “Learn to just live life on your own time.” – Ms. Shirley [51:00]

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This summary captures the essence of the episode, highlighting the profound experiences and lessons shared by each guest. For a more immersive experience, listening to the full episode is highly recommended.

Transcript

[Morgan Huelsman]

This is an iHeart podcast.

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[Morgan Huelsman]

Take this personally with Morgan Huelsman.

Happy Monday. I'm not usually so excited that it's a Monday, but I am today because we have more residents joining today and honestly hearing their stories is just one of my favorite things that we've done for this podcast so far. I think I we've done a lot of cool things, but sharing their stories is just really special to me and today Larry, Brenda, Ward and Shirley all joined me. They have a wide variety of stories to share with you all and I think you may experience lots of emotions, so be prepared. Maybe have some tissues close by. Let's go. Ms. Larry Gay joins me right now. Ms. Larry, I want to introduce everyone to you first, so we're going to start by you sharing with me what you did for a lot of your life as an occupation, if you ever got married, and what your current age is.

[Ms. Larry Gay]

Okay, well I'll start with my current age. I'm 87 years old. I spent 66 years in the field of education. I got two master's degrees, one in Spanish with a minor in French. I taught Spanish, French, and English at the community college level for several years. Then I also went into administration. I went back to school at Vanderbilt University then and got my doctorate in educational leadership. And from there, I eventually became a vice president of two community colleges in Florida. One at Manatee Community Colleges in Bradenton, another one Orlando. When I retired, I started teaching online for four universities. And after 66 years of teaching and administration, I retired. As I'm moving into Abe's garden, does.

[Morgan Huelsman]

It feel crazy that you worked for so long in your life? Is that always your plan?

[Ms. Larry Gay]

No, I just moved along as I moved into different areas of my life, and I was very, very interested. And one school, for example, in Orlando, we had an international program. We went to Brazil, and it was our sister college, and we had a lot of exchanges and got to go on trips, and I got to go to Machu Picchu and the Galapagos Islands as a result, because every time we go to one of the schools, I would plan a week's vacation following it and go to all these wonderful places in South America. Of course, with my Spanish, you know, it was easy for me to get around. And so. So it was a very fruitful life, is all I can say. And I had so much fun teaching and being in administration that I guess I just couldn't quit. At the same time, when I moved to Abe's, I thought, well, if I don't retire, I'm never going to be able to participate in the activities of a. Because I was at the computer, you know, half the time. And when I did the online classes, we did Zoom and all of this. And so, I mean, the preparation was tremendous. It was much harder teaching online than it was being in the classroom, I'll say that.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Were you really glad that a lot of your life you spent traveling abroad? Was that something that you feel like really helped shape who you were?

[Ms. Larry Gay]

Oh, absolutely. And. And I'm glad you mentioned that, because as far as other people who are thinking about retirement and that do it when you're younger. I did that mostly in my 40s and 50s, and I have to say I went to China, Greece, Italy, Spain, Ireland, you name it. Mexico, South America, Brazil. I mean, now I'm looking for hard places to go that I haven't been, and I'm glad I did it, because now today, I mean, I just had a knee replacement recently, and it's getting harder and harder to Travel. So I'm glad I went to all those places during that time.

[Morgan Huelsman]

What do you feel like is one of the lessons you learned from all of that traveling and even being an educator for that long?

[Ms. Larry Gay]

Well, I learned a lot of lessons. I learned in education. I learned to be very patient. Lots of times you have a lot of student problems. Back when I was advising, I learned that people had a lot of difficulties getting into school. And you find out that their backgrounds and the problems because they'll share it with you and everything. I learned a lot from the students, too, that enriched my life. For example, I learned a lot about the different cultures which I think enriches your life. And one experience I had that was just tremendous was when I went to China. I met a woman. It was doctor on my you. There's a book written about her tragedy and triumph. But she was placed into a communist prison camp for 27 years. She was a gynecologist. Never got to practice her. Her degree or anything. And she was a lovely woman and just somebody that influenced me. And we wrote each other and I helped raise money for their heating system. She was then teaching in a special ed school. And you talk about learning lessons of life and the struggles that people have are tremendous. And she told the story of her brother dying in her arms. He drowned himself because of all the torture that happened there. So when you go and you have the opportunities that you have in the United States and you see suffering, like in Honduras, we used to send shoes down there. Children didn't have any shoes. And I went down there once just to teach in the schools. And I lived in Mexico for a while and went to school down there and did a lot of projects. So I feel like I've had a rich and wonderful life.

[Morgan Huelsman]

When you look back on your life and you're talking about all of these things and you just said, I had a rich and wonderful life, were there any moments of regret for you as you look back?

[Ms. Larry Gay]

As I look back, I guess if I have any regret, and this sounds crazy since I wanted to teach all those years, for 66 years, but now that I'm in this retirement home, I'm thinking to myself, why didn't I sell my house sooner? You know, why didn't I take my money so I could travel further and do this while I were more physically, physically able, you know, then. Now I'm beginning to have to pick and choose what I do because, you know, as you get older, things are going to happen.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Do you feel like moving in allowed you to Even live more independently than you anticipated it would.

[Ms. Larry Gay]

Well, I am in independent living, and. And I get around pretty well. I have to use the walker because of this knee replacement. But I. I think it. It's helped me a lot to move in here, and. And I'm glad I did it, because I lost my spouse a year before I moved here. And so that I was lonely. Let's just face it. I had friends there and everything. But when you lose your spouse and your lifetime partner for 47 years, it is a big, big change. And I know there are a lot of people that have moved in here with those kind of similar stories, so I wish I'd done it sooner. And I moved here because I thought, well, my sister lives here, and I'm getting older and I may need help. And so when I was researching why, Abe's reason why is because the teacher that I taught with at Volunteer State community college for 18 years lived here. And I called her up on the phone. I said, I'm looking for a place to move. I'm coming back to Nashville. I had lived here for 18 years because I taught at Volunteer State. And she said, the only place I would recommend is Apes Garden. She said, I've looked at all of them. If anything ever happens to me or when I get ready to retire, that's exactly where I'm going. And you know what? Because I believe so much in her, I picked up the phone. I called Courtney that same day. I put down my deposit site unseen. I never came and looked at the apartment or anything and moved in. And it's been a pleasant surprise the entire time.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Well, it's also cool that a teacher is what impacted you to make this decision in your life when you were probably impactful for so many people over the course of yours.

[Ms. Larry Gay]

Well, I hope so. I certainly hope so. I mean, I still hear from many of my students, and some of the students since I moved here have actually come through here on their travels, and we've gotten together, and so I still stay in touch with many of them, which is really, really nice.

[Morgan Huelsman]

I love that so much, especially that they're continuing to visit you. You mentioned the loneliness that you felt when you lost your spouse. So having visitors, I imagine, has been really helpful.

[Ms. Larry Gay]

Oh, yeah, Visitors. And plus the people at aids. I mean, we care for each other here. I mean, we're helping each other. There are people that are beginning to lose, have memory problems. And just yesterday, I went and helped a person. They couldn't remember how to put the phone on the charger just simple little things like that. And they helped me or they asked me, well, what happened to your eye today? How are you doing? How are you feeling? You know, and so it's a lot different from living alone and not interacting. And I'll give you another good example. I've got a friend who lives in Memphis and she lost her husband three years ago and she won't do something like this. And she's lonesome, she cries all the time. And I tell her, this is what you need to investigate. She's, well, I don't live in an old retirement home where everybody's dying. I said, look, we're all dying. Everybody's going to die in life, let's face it. But why don't you get, you know, become social? I said, we play bridge, I play canasta. I played ping pong with a woman I think is almost 100 years old the other day. I mean, I believe she is. And she's fair, she's left handed, I'm left handed. And we had a fierce game and we even got one of the residents to chase our ball for us because that's our problem, having to pick up the ball.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Yeah, I love that so much. And you're talking about this. Is that how you really coped with. I think so many people think about, you know, having a spouse in one day. One of you will pass.

[Ward]

Yes.

[Morgan Huelsman]

When that finally happened, were there a lot of experiences for you that you can speak on to that experience? Because I feel like so many people go through this and they're never prepared.

[Ms. Larry Gay]

No. And I do think you need to prepare in advance for something like that. And I had thought that I would stay in Florida because I loved it so much. I was down there with 40 years and I lived about 25 steps from the beach. So it was hard to leave those friends. But I had to weigh, you know, getting closer to my family, that was one thing I had to decide. And then getting rid of all of your things in your house and how hard that is to give up possessions, I mean, as much you can't bring everything, so you have to make choices and all this. And so I say to other friends that have not made this kind of decision, you need to start preparing now because it's a big undertaking. And it's interesting enough to say that when I got ready to sell my house, it was like magic. A man walked up and hit my window and said he wanted me to sign something to beautify the neighborhood. And I said, no, I can't sign Anything to beautify the neighborhood. I'm getting ready to leave town. I'm going to an Abe's retirement. He said, well, if you sell your house, I'll buy it. And I thought, oh, sure, you know, but he's exactly the person that bought the house.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Wow.

[Ms. Larry Gay]

And all this came together really fast. And I thought I was, like, berserk. I thought, well, how am I going to get rid of all this stuff and do all this? Well, I called up the senior citizens moving, and you know what they said to me? They said, we will move your stuff. We'll move it into Abe's. We'll put the pictures on the wall. Your bed will be ready to get into the night. And that was a relief. And I said, well, what about I got to do this estate sale? And she said, you know what? I know a real estate agent that'll do your estate. If she sells your house, she will do the estate sale for you free. And this all fell into place like a glove.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Like it was meant to exactly what.

[Ms. Larry Gay]

You'Re supposed to do. And so it's been a wonderful experience. I say to everybody, do it. Do it early. Plan early and get with it, because you don't have a lot of years to live, and you might as well live it up and have the best time you have.

[Morgan Huelsman]

I love that. I love that you're having so much fun. I like to end just any time I talk with someone. A piece of advice. If you look back on your life and you want to give anybody just one piece of really important advice, what would it be?

[Ms. Larry Gay]

I think, find ways to be kind to other people. And I think living here, I've. I've been more involved than ever. For example, just little things. Like, I like to send as many people as possible a little birthday card, because there are people here who don't have family, and they may not get a birthday card. And so I think giving of yourself, the reward comes back to you. And so I love doing for others. And that would be that advice that I'd give to everybody.

[Ward]

Give, give, give, give.

[Ms. Larry Gay]

Because it'll all come back 100% to you.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Oh, that's such great advice. It was so great talking with you, and I think I could sit here and talk with you all day. You have so much wisdom to share. But thank you for this, the little bit that you were able to today with me.

[Ms. Larry Gay]

Well, thank you very much. I certainly enjoyed the interview, and I wish you the best as well.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Thank you. Yay.

[Ms. Larry Gay]

That was fun. You're great. You're great on interviewing. I love it.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Ms. Brenda joins me now. Hi, Brenda, thanks for coming on.

[Ms. Brenda]

Thank you.

[Morgan Huelsman]

I'm really excited to talk with you, but I want to start with something. Can you tell us how old you are?

[Ms. Brenda]

I'm 81.

[Morgan Huelsman]

81. And what did you spend most of your life doing? Occupation wise secretary. Did you ever get married in your life?

[Ms. Brenda]

I did.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Did you also have children?

[Ms. Brenda]

I have three.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Okay, so this is painting the picture of Ms. Brenda, you were a secretary. How long were your secretary for?

[Ms. Brenda]

I'll total probably about 10, 15 years.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Did you enjoy that work? Was that something you wanted to do? Okay. Did you learn a lot about dynamics in the workplace when you were a secretary? I imagine you see a lot of things.

[Ms. Brenda]

Yes, I guess I did. I didn't think of it at the time that way, but I think I did.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Did you ever want to do anything besides that or was that just it and then you decided to do something.

[Ms. Brenda]

Else that and just have my family.

[Morgan Huelsman]

So were you a stay at home mom also?

[Ms. Brenda]

I was okay until my children got up in, you know, later in school to take care of themselves. And then I went to part time, but it was just across the street and I worked four hours. So I was there when they left to go to school and I was home when they got home. So that worked out perfect.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Being a stay at home mom, was that something that was always the goal for you?

[Ms. Brenda]

Yes.

[Morgan Huelsman]

And you look back at your life and that was something you were really happy you did, or do you have regrets with that at all?

[Ms. Brenda]

No, I'm glad I was there. My children seemed to enjoy knowing the fact that mama was going to be home when they come home.

[Morgan Huelsman]

What did you learn in that experience of being a stay at home mom? Maybe it was something about yourself. Maybe it was about having kids or some wisdom to share with people who are trying to decide on their own journeys.

[Ms. Brenda]

I'm not sure it's the right thing for everyone. I think everyone's different. But for me, I was happy my mother was that way. So I guess I took after my mom. But I was happy being at home. I was content.

[Morgan Huelsman]

How long were you and your husband married for?

[Ms. Brenda]

We will celebrate our 50. Let me think, 59. 59 years this year. Wow.

[Morgan Huelsman]

What's the secret to that? That's 59 years together. If one person.

[Ms. Brenda]

Compromise and don't hold a grudge.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Was there a lot of moments where you're like, I could hold this against you.

[Ms. Brenda]

Yeah, but it wasn't worth it.

[Morgan Huelsman]

That's fair. How did you guys meet? Were you high school sweethearts?

[Ms. Brenda]

No, no. I was working when we met through mutual friends.

[Morgan Huelsman]

When you were a secretary. Wow. Was he somebody higher up or somebody that came in?

[Ms. Brenda]

No, he was in the Air Force. He had come in on leave, and I met him at Christmas time. Wow.

[Morgan Huelsman]

So being a military spouse, was he.

[Ms. Brenda]

He was about ready to get out. He. This was in December, and he was discharged in August.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Okay.

[Ms. Brenda]

So I wasn't really. We didn't get married till after he got out of the service.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Was he gone at all when you guys had initially first met?

[Ms. Brenda]

He just come in for Christmas break when we met, and then he had to go back. He was stationed in Tule, Greenland.

[Morgan Huelsman]

And then when he came back, how quickly was it you said you guys decided to get married that next year? Did you have a lot of letters sent to.

[Ms. Brenda]

Yeah, we wrote letters and phone calls. He spent most of his money making long distance phone calls.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Okay. We were very in love with it.

[Ms. Brenda]

Yeah, it was. It was very exciting.

[Morgan Huelsman]

What do you feel like that love looks like today? Because after that many years together, a lot of life happens.

[Ms. Brenda]

I think too many people go into it with the expectation it's going to be perfect and if it's not, they can get a divorce and get out of it. But I was in it for the long. And we. It wasn't perfect, but we learned to compromise.

[Morgan Huelsman]

And today. Is he still with you?

[Ms. Brenda]

He's in a nursing home.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Okay, so how does that work? Because I know you are one of the members who comes in for the community programs, and he's at a nursing home. So what does that look like today for you guys?

[Ms. Brenda]

I don't get to see him very often. He has Parkinson's and dementia, and he's in the stage of his dementia that most of the time he doesn't know me. He's living in the past. He's still in the service.

[Morgan Huelsman]

So even right when you guys first met.

[Ms. Brenda]

Yeah.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Is that really hard for you to experience? Because you're also going through your own experience, too.

[Ms. Brenda]

It's sad. I have my moments that. It makes me really sad and I miss him. But life goes on and try to make the best of it. That's what I'm here for. This has been a big. This has been a big help to me.

[Morgan Huelsman]

To come and visit here.

[Ms. Brenda]

Yes.

[Morgan Huelsman]

To help with yours or to get you out of your comfort zone a little bit and visit?

[Ms. Brenda]

Both.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Okay.

[Ms. Brenda]

It's done. Both to me because I was always more or less an introvert and I enjoyed just Being by myself. But my daughter thought I needed some socialization. I come to live with her five years ago. This was during the pandemic. And of course I couldn't go see him because he had it nursing home locked down for months. So I hadn't went months without getting to see him. I had taken care of him probably for around 10 years in his sickness. And it had kind of taken its toll on my health. And so I've done my healing in the last five years and apes has been a big part of it.

[Morgan Huelsman]

What do you feel like you wish you would have known? Going from mom to wife to then caregiver towards that part?

[Ms. Brenda]

Not really sure.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Or maybe what were those emotions you were experiencing as things were changing in that direction and you were seeing this happen to him and it was a change that you were going to have to adjust to?

[Ms. Brenda]

I'm not sure I'd have done a lot of things differently. I tried to look on the positive side of it. There were fun times. He'd do some funny things, say funny things, but he didn't remember them. But I did. I wished I'd have journaled, but hindsight doesn't get you very far.

[Morgan Huelsman]

So it is. Hindsight is always 2020.

[Ms. Brenda]

Yeah.

[Morgan Huelsman]

But that's also why we love hearing stories, because this is how we learn. Right. And hopefully somebody who might be in a similar position to you can then start to journal.

[Ms. Brenda]

I wish that I recognized his illness and downslide earlier. I didn't. I don't know that, you know, if it would have made a big difference, but I feel like it might have.

[Morgan Huelsman]

That's a lot of pressure to put on yourself, though.

[Ms. Brenda]

Well, I always told him I'd take care of him and that's what I tried to do the best that I could till he got. Till he couldn't take care of himself. And I couldn't take care of him because he had had a mini stroke and seizure. And after that he was bedridden. And I took care of him as long as I could. And I got to the point that I didn't feel like that I could take care of him the way he deserved. It was the hardest decision I ever had to make.

[Morgan Huelsman]

What made you ultimately decide to make that decision?

[Ms. Brenda]

Well, I had a little bit influences for my family and my kids. They could see things that I couldn't see see. But I knew. I knew that the time was getting close. I just tried to ignore it. I didn't want to give up.

[Morgan Huelsman]

I think there's a period of grief there that happens there is.

[Ms. Brenda]

Because you. I don't know. There's something final about it and a.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Big decision that you have to make.

[Ms. Brenda]

Yeah.

[Morgan Huelsman]

And you're not ready to make it. I don't know that you ever would have been.

[Ms. Brenda]

Probably not.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Well, I don't want to just make you talk about sad stuff. I also would like to hear one of the coolest, most favorite moments of your life. If you look back on your life and you're like, I will always remember this.

[Ms. Brenda]

I think the birth of my children.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Any children in particular or the very first one, or just all of them?

[Ms. Larry Gay]

All of them.

[Ms. Brenda]

They were also different.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Yeah.

[Ms. Brenda]

And my youngest was born prematurely. He was in the hospital for 72 days, and he couldn't make a sound when I brought him home. So I had to transport him by my side everywhere I went. He was a challenge. But now he's a healthy young man. I call him young.

[Ms. Larry Gay]

Makes me feel better.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Hey, you can call him whatever you want. Whatever makes you feel better.

[Ms. Brenda]

But I think it was the birth of our children because we were both extremely happy when he found out we found out I was pregnant.

[Morgan Huelsman]

That's probably a cool memory to look back on and you think about that moment, especially the first one.

[Ms. Brenda]

I love being pregnant. I just got cheated out of a lot of them because I went in labor early.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Oh, you got cheated after nine months?

[Ms. Brenda]

I don't think I didn't go nine.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Months, really, on all of them or just.

[Ms. Brenda]

Well, Brenda, my daughter, the oldest one, was three, three weeks premature, and I was still working. And my second son, I was bed in the bed for two months before he was born. And my third one comes so fast that he was probably two, two and a half, three months premature. So he was in the hospital for.

[Morgan Huelsman]

72 days, but all healthy now?

[Ms. Brenda]

Yes, thank the Lord.

[Morgan Huelsman]

It probably didn't feel like that when it was happening.

[Ms. Brenda]

No. I was terrified.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Understandably. So when you look back at all these moments, too, is there any regrets that you have or things that you wish you would have done that you didn't do?

[Ms. Brenda]

I'm not really sure about that one. That's something that I don't think a lot about, but it sounds to me.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Like you don't have a lot, and I think that's a pretty good thing. It sounds like you did a lot of things that you wanted to do.

[Ms. Brenda]

I think I did. I think I did.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Looking back, I love that. Well, I like to end on a little piece of advice or motivation or inspiration. Is there anything that you can think of that you would love to share and make sure maybe other people your age or younger people as they're getting older, need to hear.

[Ms. Brenda]

Take it one day at a time and enjoy your day. Very important reminder, we're not guaranteed tomorrow, so enjoy your day.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Thank you for sharing your life with us and your story, and it was really good getting to talk to you.

[Ms. Brenda]

It's nice talking with you too.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Ward joins me right now. Hi, Ward. How are you?

[Ward]

Hey, Morgan. I'm doing fine. How are you?

[Morgan Huelsman]

Thank you for doing this with me.

[Ward]

My pleasure.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Is this your first podcast?

[Ward]

It is.

[Morgan Huelsman]

We got a lot of first today.

[Ward]

And I love it, but I listen to a lot of podcast.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Okay.

[Ward]

Yeah. Late at night.

[Morgan Huelsman]

You listen to, like, serial murder doc podcasts or something late at night?

[Ward]

I don't want to tell you that I listen to stuff about the politics going on and that sort of thing.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Okay. Much more serious.

[Ward]

It's entertaining.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Okay. Entertaining. We like it.

[Ms. Brenda]

Yes.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Ward, you have somebody in this room with you that I would love for you to talk about. But first off, can you tell everybody how old you are?

[Ward]

Yes, I can. I am 87 years old.

[Morgan Huelsman]

87 years young, I would say. And you got a beautiful bride in here with you that you guys have been married for how long?

[Ward]

64 years.

[Morgan Huelsman]

What's her name?

[Ward]

Deanna.

[Morgan Huelsman]

What is the secret to be married that long?

[Ward]

Always say, yes, ma'.

[Ms. Shirley]

Am.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Oh, always saying, yes, ma'.

[Ward]

Am.

[Morgan Huelsman]

You never said no.

[Ward]

No. Oh, I may have.

[Morgan Huelsman]

I was gonna say I hear her. I hear her disagreeing right now.

[Ward]

No, I think too many people think that they've got to be right all the time in a marriage, and you don't. You cannot be right all the time. So you need to be flexible. You need to give and take and say, yes, ma', am, we'll work it out.

[Morgan Huelsman]

I love that. How did you guys meet?

[Ward]

We met at the fraternity house at fsu, and they were having a dance at night, and I came in from work, and I saw Deanna dancing with one of my fraternity brothers who happened to be a pledge. And of course, as you probably know, pledges are.

[Morgan Huelsman]

They're little freshmen.

[Ward]

So I said to myself, ward, that girl really does look great. So I went up and tapped him on the shoulder, which in those days was an indication that he was to give up dancing with her and I. And from there on, that. That was it.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Wow.

[Ward]

We both got hit by the bug.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Was it love at first sight?

[Ward]

Yes.

[Morgan Huelsman]

What was that feeling like when you first saw her?

[Ward]

Just really. She was gorgeous. She had Long blonde hair. And when I danced with her, I smell so good.

[Morgan Huelsman]

So does she still have the same perfume that that night she was dancing with?

[Ward]

I doubt it. I doubt it. I'm not too sure what perfume she had on, but boy, was it nice.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Oh, it captured you.

[Ward]

Yes.

[Morgan Huelsman]

What was one of your guys's favorite moments over the course of your guys's marriage, when you look back on it?

[Ward]

The opportunity that we had to travel together to Europe several times and see things that we never would have done. But we said we're going to spend our money while we can and we're healthy. And so we went I think 10 or 11 times to Europe in different places. France, Italy, all over.

[Morgan Huelsman]

And did you take her on some dancing in some more streets in those places or.

[Ward]

Yes, as a matter of fact, we had a nice dancing opportunity, a little restaurant outside of a restaurant. And I'll have to tell you this little quick story. We danced and they had a band there and they were playing our kind of music, which is. Is not the kind of music you hear in today's genre. But anyway, we danced and then we sat down and having a drink. And in the meantime, a very good looking blonde headed girl came in by herself and she sat down across the table across the dance floor from us. And we said, she's nice. And Deanna says she sure is. And a few minutes this single guy comes in and he takes up with the girl and buys her a drink and they dance. And you wouldn't have believed how marvelous they were together. They were just like Fred Astaire and whoever else he danced with. So after it was over, we went up and told them how much we love their dancing. And we asked them where they were from and he said, we're from Panama City. Oh, we're married.

[Morgan Huelsman]

You guys thought this whole time they were single. Just meeting for the first time.

[Ward]

He had picked her up and they. And guys, you guys are great and what a good story to tell.

[Morgan Huelsman]

So anyway, so did you guys get out on the dance floor when they were dancing?

[Ward]

Yes.

[Morgan Huelsman]

What was your guys's favorite dance to do together?

[Ward]

Oh, that's easy. Besides the slow dance, we love disco.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Is that where you do the like pointy little fingers?

[Ward]

Is there more people do that?

[Morgan Huelsman]

Yeah, me is what you're saying.

[Ward]

No, we really like the disco. And as a matter of fact, in Jacksonville, where we were from, they had a dance contest one night down at the hotel down the place on the river in Jacksonville. And we danced there and danced and we won second place.

[Morgan Huelsman]

That's amazing.

[Ward]

Yeah.

[Morgan Huelsman]

So dancing was a big part of your guys's relationship?

[Ward]

Very much so.

[Morgan Huelsman]

What were some other big things that were part of your guys's relationship and marriage?

[Ward]

Having family for dinner and having people in for football games and DNA's. A musician. And all that time had musician friends of ours that we got together with and Diana, we had a nice grand piano in the living room, and so she would play some of it and her buddy, who's a great pianist, they'd play something. They play it together and we sang. And Diana was a choral director. And so music was really part of and still is a part of our life. We course, we don't participate like we used to, but we still like it.

[Morgan Huelsman]

And you guys have kids because I know one of your daughter is here, your only daughter. Do you guys have other.

[Ward]

We got another daughter, Aaron, and she happens to be out of town today. And they each have three children. And my only granddaughter, she is currently in London studying music. She hopes some data make us very proud of her. And some money.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Maybe some money. Everybody needs money, right?

[Ward]

Oh, gosh, yeah.

[Morgan Huelsman]

What's it been like for you to get to witness not only your kids grow up and become parents, but now also getting to see your grandchildren and watch them pursue dreams?

[Ward]

And great grandchildren.

[Morgan Huelsman]

And great grandchildren.

[Ward]

Two great granddaughters.

[Ms. Brenda]

Wow.

[Ward]

Who are just the love of Kim's life. They're her grandchildren, and we just love seeing what they're doing. And it's just a real joy to. To be a part of their lives. Maybe not as actively as we'd like to. Life takes curious curves, and sometimes you just have to say, let's just do the best we can.

[Morgan Huelsman]

And what was one of those curveballs that you guys got faced at one point in your life?

[Ward]

Deanna had a stroke 12 years ago, and I was her primary caregiver. And we're very sad, of course, about that. And it put her back because she lost the use of her right side and her voice being able to talk. And we for years lived independently in a house in Franklin, and then we moved into an apartment in Nashville. And ultimately our children, Kim and Aaron, said, daddy and mama, y' all need to be around some people. These people in an apartment complex, they're the age of Morgan. They're nice people, they're nice looking and they're very hospitable, but they're just passing through in apartments around here. People don't move into an apartment these days with the intention of staying there very long. So they said, you, you Really, y' all really ought to think about moving into a senior living facility. And we're so happy that we did because we do have another life now. We got friends and Abe's garden. It's a very wonderful place to live. If so many activities. It keeps you busy all the time. But good food, good friends, and opportunity to do things like this did when.

[Morgan Huelsman]

That first happened and your daughters were coming to you guys and said, we think it's time you guys live here. Was there some pushback for you guys?

[Ward]

Was that scary from the cost point of view? I said, I don't know whether we can afford that or not. They said, don't worry about it, it'll all work out. Sort of like me, I used to tell somebody I asked, don't worry about it. It'll all work out.

[Morgan Huelsman]

And has things always in life just worked out how they were supposed to?

[Ward]

They worked out. Maybe not like they're not like I had hoped that they might. But my health has suffered in the last several months, which is caused some reason for us to have to be into assisted living rather than independent living, which is not some way that I ever thought that I'd have to be taken care of. But I'm happy that where I am, that I can be taken so carefully and taken care of and trying to help me where I don't fall as much. It's changed our lives.

[Morgan Huelsman]

When you look at your life and you see the age progress and as you've gotten older, what's been hard about that for you?

[Ward]

Probably realizing that like it did maybe 10 years ago, eight, I don't know exactly, but woke up and went in the bathroom and looked in the mirror and I said, damn, who is the hat? Who the hell is that old man? Seriously, all of a sudden it hits you that you're not 50 anymore and you're not able to go climb a mountain or go swimming there. So it's a complete structure change. And so that's where we are just having to say, let's just take it the way it is.

[Morgan Huelsman]

There's a lot of changes that come with it and a lot of changes that happen in the course of all of that. As you look back on your life and you're seeing everything, is there anything that you regret doing or not doing?

[Ward]

I wish I had started reading more early on. I didn't really start reading books until maybe three years ago. And I really enjoyed the reading aspect of things, that it doesn't matter what it is. And I've read a book about Carpenters and men who built cathedrals in the 1100s and enjoyed every minute. A big thick book. I never thought I'd read anything like that. I enjoy all kinds of reading. I've read a lot of are books about people like J. Edgar Hoover and I can't think but writers that have written good mystery model novels. Answer your question. I think I wish I had started earlier reading.

[Morgan Huelsman]

What about in your marriage or with your children. Is there anything there that you look at and you could have changed or would have done in a different direction?

[Ward]

No, I don't think so.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Does it feel good when you think about that and you're like, I feel really good that I did what I needed to do.

[Ward]

And I think so. I never really thought about it that way, but I'm happy with the way they turned out and that. So it's okay.

[Morgan Huelsman]

What's one of your favorite things to do now at this point in your life and you guys are at the senior living community. What's one of your favorite things to do? Activities.

[Ward]

Maybe go to lunch someplace like, I don't know, Dolce.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Dolce. Okay. I love that.

[Ward]

That's our favorite restaurant to go to. We don't get out and go places like we used to, so it's hard to say.

[Morgan Huelsman]

That's okay. Dalt sounds like a fun time for lunch.

[Ward]

It is.

[Ms. Brenda]

It's a great time. I like it.

[Ward]

That's a good deal.

[Morgan Huelsman]

We got an agreement over there from your wife.

[Ward]

It very much. And some places we don't like to go to. But anyway.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Was there anything you learned from being married about yourself that you didn't anticipate? Because I see her over there, she's smiling.

[Ward]

That I learned about myself, that I probably don't have the patience that I wish I had with her. A lot of times I get very frustrated and then I say, don't. Don't do that, Ward. She's doing the best she can with what she's got to handle. And you don't need to add to that stress.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Ward. You've shared so much with us. And there's always something I love to end on and it's a piece of advice or inspiration or motivation, however you would like to end this to share with people. Maybe they're your age, maybe they're younger.

[Ward]

I think probably whatever age. Don't give up your dream. Hang in there if it takes a little longer than you thought it would, or maybe cost a little bit more or. But don't give up the dream.

[Morgan Huelsman]

What was your dream?

[Ward]

To live to be 94.

[Morgan Huelsman]

You're almost there. Are you proud of that?

[Ward]

Yeah.

[Morgan Huelsman]

That's pretty awesome. You have a secret to your long life.

[Ward]

Oh, maybe three bourbons a night.

[Morgan Huelsman]

All right, I'll take it. I need to go buy some bourbon. Thank you, Ward, for being here, sharing your story.

[Ward]

Thank you so much. It was a pleasure.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Ms. Shirley joins me now. Hi, Shirley. How are you? Are you.

[Ms. Shirley]

I'm fine. How are you?

[Morgan Huelsman]

I'm good. Thank you for coming on.

[Ms. Shirley]

Oh, I'm glad to do it.

[Morgan Huelsman]

I'm going to start this by having everybody kind of paint a picture of who you are. So we're going to start with your age and your occupation. You had most of your life and if you were ever married.

[Ms. Shirley]

Okay.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Okay. So let's start with age.

[Ms. Shirley]

I'm 90.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Okay.

[Ms. Shirley]

And I. I've had several jobs, but my last job I retired from, it was at Vanderbilt in human resources.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Okay. Hr.

[Ms. Shirley]

Yeah. And it was for both the hospital and the university. The human resources handled both the hospital and the university. So it was pretty big job.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Yeah. That's a huge job. And were you married?

[Ms. Shirley]

Yes, Long time ago.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Long time ago. Did you have any children?

[Ms. Shirley]

I have two daughters. I have four grandchildren and their spouses, and they all live in Nashville, which I know, I'm very lucky.

[Morgan Huelsman]

And you also mentioned some. Some grand puppies, too.

[Ms. Shirley]

Yes. Yes. I've had a lot of grandpapas. They were cavaliers and beautiful.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Yes.

[Ms. Shirley]

Loved them.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Ms. Shirley, what do you feel like looking back on your life was your most favorite moment or the most rewarding for you? And there can be a few. But what would you highlight if you looked back on your life? Any one of them in particular or just.

[Ms. Shirley]

No. Well, the first one, you know, of course, is the most amazing thing, but then you find that the second one you love just as much. So. So that was really my happiest moments.

[Morgan Huelsman]

What about outside of your children, any personal moments for you?

[Ms. Shirley]

Not really. Just normal.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Yeah.

[Ms. Shirley]

Yeah.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Okay. And thinking of your children and all the people out there who decide to have kids, why for you, was it important that you had kids?

[Ms. Shirley]

I always wanted to be a mother and a wife and have a house. I had no career desires at all. It was all family. That's a long time ago.

[Morgan Huelsman]

When you had your kids, were you a stay at home mom?

[Ms. Shirley]

Yes.

[Morgan Huelsman]

What was that experience like for you?

[Ms. Shirley]

Great. I loved it. Room mom and all that, baking cookies, just doing a lot of things for the teachers, and it was really enjoyable.

[Morgan Huelsman]

When the kids finally left. Is that when you started to look at Your career?

[Ms. Shirley]

Actually, when I got divorced is when I started looking for a career. And I had several jobs, but the best one was one I had when I lived in Chattanooga for a manufacturing company and then the one in Nashville at Vanderbilt. So both of them were really good shots. And I loved working and the children were out of the nest, so that made it easier.

[Morgan Huelsman]

And based on what you just told me, you had always wanted to be a wife and a mother. So when you got divorced, was that a difficult life change?

[Ms. Shirley]

Yes, it was.

[Morgan Huelsman]

What were those kind of experiences like for you as that all was happening?

[Ms. Shirley]

The experience was that I had the happiest years of my life when I was married, and I had the worst years of my life, the second part of my marriage.

[Ms. Larry Gay]

Wow.

[Ms. Shirley]

Yeah.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Did you ever think that you wanted to get remarried?

[Ms. Shirley]

No.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Never. Never looked, never dated or anything?

[Ms. Shirley]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Morgan Huelsman]

We did do some dating, but I.

[Ms. Shirley]

Found too many things that I knew wouldn't work, you know, so I stayed single.

[Morgan Huelsman]

What ultimately made you make the choice that you were just going to stay single?

[Ms. Shirley]

I never found anybody. Anybody that I found that hung around for a long time, I just got used to. But I knew I couldn't marry them and because we've got other children involved and there were just too many problems.

[Morgan Huelsman]

And what's that experience like been for you now as you have been single and you're now 90, do you feel like you learned a lot about yourself?

[Ms. Shirley]

Oh, yes. Yes.

[Morgan Huelsman]

What did you learn?

[Ms. Shirley]

I've learned that being old is not the worst thing in the world. And I love not working at all, and I have a good time.

[Morgan Huelsman]

What do you do now? What's your favorite things to go do?

[Ms. Shirley]

My favorite things, of course, is with my family and we celebrate all the holidays and we're very close. And even with my grandchildren, I'm close to them and they're fun, they're good people. I'm so pleased with the way my daughters have turned out and so proud of what they've done with their children.

[Morgan Huelsman]

I love that. And that makes you really proud now.

[Ms. Shirley]

And the men that they married, they're like my sons. I love them. They are the best guys in the world. And even my grandchildren's spouses, I really love.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Has it been a cool experience for you to get to see your grandchildren get married?

[Ms. Shirley]

Yes. In fact, since I've been at aids, all four of them have married. I've had one. They're close to the same age now. We're having babies.

[Morgan Huelsman]

So the great grandchildren now.

[Ms. Shirley]

Yes, yes. And they are Precious.

[Morgan Huelsman]

What are three. What are those emotions like for you to get to be around with your great grandchildren?

[Ms. Shirley]

Actually, I'm around them a lot, but they're so young. But the grandchildren send me videos and pictures every day. And so it's like watching them grow up. And I don't bore people with pictures because I know how I feel about pictures. When you're looking for them in your camera.

[Morgan Huelsman]

You don't like searching through the camera roll?

[Ms. Shirley]

No, it takes too long to get to the pictures, so I don't share many. Once in a while, one that's really good. I'll. And when they're new, when the babies are new, I show a picture, but I don't show everything that I get.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Oh, and it sounds like one of your proudest accomplishments. For those people out there who are on the fence of having kids, if they're like, I don't know if I want to do this or I definitely want to do this, what would you tell to those on the fencers?

[Ms. Shirley]

Looking back at your life, it's a totally different world now, and there's a lot. I mean, I think. I think you need children, but sometimes I wonder about this world, how it's going to turn out, and I just see a lot of problems coming.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Does it feel scary to know that where the world is now and there will be a time where your kids will no longer have you, is that a scary thing to think about?

[Ms. Shirley]

Yeah. I hate to think about them being said sad. And I know there will be, and. But, you know, I know it's coming, so I don't know.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Look at you at 90. I think you're gonna be around for a very long time.

[Ms. Shirley]

I'd like to make it to 100.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Yeah. Is that the goal? That would be amazing. And you look so awesome. So what. What's your secrets? You're 90 years old, Shirley. You're doing awesome.

[Ms. Shirley]

Healthy jeans.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Healthy jeans. Okay. Any other special secrets?

[Ms. Shirley]

I exercise a lot and always have.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Very important.

[Ms. Shirley]

Yes.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Do you have a favorite exercise?

[Ms. Shirley]

Well, used to walking, and I'll walk so much in my life, but now I enjoy the exercise that we have at apes. It's very good.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Oh, I love that.

[Ms. Shirley]

Yes.

[Morgan Huelsman]

And when you look about at your life, is there any regrets that you have or things that you wish you would have done or wish you didn't do?

[Ms. Shirley]

I wish I hadn't become disabled, as I've been this way for about 10 years now. And I was traveling a lot, and I don't travel anymore, and I guess probably But I couldn't. So I think that's one thing that I missed. I've traveled a lot, but I could have done more.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Yeah. Yeah, okay. Traveling more. And we always like to end on a little piece with someone with some advice or motivation or inspiration. So you can. Can you leave us with something here?

[Ms. Shirley]

Yes, I can. Especially with people who are going to move into a place like this. You've got to learn to accept things that kind of get on your nerves, like telephones ringing all the time.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Okay.

[Ms. Shirley]

And everybody being late at any activity. Not everybody, but lots of people being late. But you just gotta let it go, you know? And I don't even bother me anymore. I just, I'm late sometimes.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Learn to just live life on your own time.

[Ms. Shirley]

Yes.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Well, Ms. Shirley, thank you for taking time and sharing your story with us.

[Ms. Shirley]

Well, thank you for having me.

[Morgan Huelsman]

Thank you guys for listening to this podcast and allowing me the space to bring on this crew that I've loved getting to know over the years and the wonderful residents who Remy and I love to go visit at Apes Garden. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast and share on social media if you are loving it. That helps out big time. But more than anything, I'm just happy that you're here. So I'll talk to you guys next week.

[J]

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[Morgan Huelsman]

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