SORE LOSERS: Family Drama Is Ripping Lunchbox's Family Apart

Summary

The Bobby Bones Show - Episode: SORE LOSERS: Family Drama Is Ripping Lunchbox's Family Apart

Release Date: May 3, 2025
Host/Author: Premiere Networks

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Introduction to the Episode

In this episode of "The Bobby Bones Show," titled "SORE LOSERS: Family Drama Is Ripping Lunchbox's Family Apart," hosts Bobby Bones delve into a mix of humorous anecdotes, personal stories, and ongoing family disputes. The episode primarily focuses on Lunchbox's (one of the show's personalities) interactions with coworkers and a heated family rivalry stemming from a March Madness bracket competition.

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Golf Tales and Workplace Anecdotes

[01:15] Lunchbox & Eddie Discuss Work Experiences Lunchbox shares a humorous yet relatable story about encountering a stressed-out coworker at the office bathroom:

Lunchbox [01:25]: "I did not get a divorce, but I did not cheat. I'm just saying that a lot of people sitting at work today are dreaming about doing this."

Eddie adds to the conversation, highlighting the exhaustion faced by salespeople:

Eddie [02:00]: "I think he literally couldn't even... It must be brutal sitting at a cubicle and I'll hang up and listen."

[04:05] Lunchbox's Golf Course Experience Lunchbox recounts a round of golf at Bones Country Club where he meets Tony, a fellow golfer who takes an unusual interest in professional golfers like Bryson DeChambeau. Their conversation becomes the centerpiece of the episode as Tony offers unsolicited advice on Bryson's performance:

Lunchbox [07:09]: "He really just started talking. I didn't really say, hey, how are you doing?"

Tony criticizes Bryson's training regimen, claiming excessive practice as the reason for his recent struggles:

Lunchbox [10:22]: "The crazy thing about Bryson is he is so obsessed with the game... He is obsessed with the game."

Eddie expresses his frustration with Tony's overbearing commentary:

Eddie [10:28]: "Why don't you shut the up?"

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Family Bracket Controversy

[23:32] Lunchbox Introduces March Madness Drama Lunchbox shifts the conversation to a personal family dispute regarding a March Madness bracket pool. He details how his father-in-law is attempting to discredit his championship win:

Lunchbox [23:55]: "There seems to be some vendetta against me by my father in law."

[25:01] Specifics of the Dispute Lunchbox explains the tie-breaking rules of the bracket pool and how his scores should rightfully place him as the winner over his Aunt Lisa:

Lunchbox [25:08]: "My final score was 68 to 64 lower. I was closer."

Despite clear rules, his father-in-law contests the result, creating tension within the family:

Eddie [25:54]: "The scoring is the issue."

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Attempts to Resolve the Bracket Dispute

[28:06] Ongoing Arguments The argument intensifies as Lunchbox and Eddie discuss the escalating nature of the dispute, with Lunchbox expressing disbelief over the prolonged contention:

Lunchbox [32:22]: "He brought it up again and again and again."

Eddie advises Lunchbox to let the matter go to preserve family harmony:

Eddie [31:29]: "Take a step back, put your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars."

[33:20] Final Breakdown Lunchbox recounts how the dispute has strained his relationship with his father-in-law, despite his confidence in winning the bracket fair and square:

Lunchbox [33:07]: "I am the champion. Accept it and move on."

Eddie reiterates the importance of prioritizing meaningful relationships over trivial conflicts:

Eddie [31:29]: "This isn't what you want to die on."

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Voicemail Incident and Pranks

[36:06] Voicemail from Arnold Eddie shares a voicemail from Arnold involving a prank that went wrong, leading to a mix-up between a sports draft and drug references. This story underscores the unintended consequences of pranks:

Eddie [37:00]: "Make your TV, I left, it was like a huge box."

[39:18] Personal Health Scare Lunchbox narrates a frightening moment when his child hid and scared him, almost causing him to misinterpret the situation as a heart attack:

Lunchbox [40:32]: "I almost went off on the family text."

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Closing Remarks and Final Stories

[54:00] Another Golf Story Lunchbox shares another golf-related story about encountering a homeless man camped on the tee box, highlighting the unexpected and bewildering situations that can arise during a game:

Lunchbox [56:53]: "He had a legit tent set up on the freaking tee box."

[58:00] Wrap-Up and Reflections As the episode winds down, both Lunchbox and Eddie reflect on the various stories shared, emphasizing the blend of humor and real-life challenges that characterize their discussions.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Lunchbox [01:25]: "I did not get a divorce, but I did not cheat. I'm just saying that a lot of people sitting at work today are dreaming about doing this."
• Eddie [02:00]: "It must be brutal sitting at a cubicle and I'll hang up and listen."
• Lunchbox [07:09]: "He really just started talking. I didn't really say, hey, how are you doing?"
• Eddie [10:28]: "Why don't you shut the up?"
• Lunchbox [23:55]: "There seems to be some vendetta against me by my father in law."
• Lunchbox [25:08]: "My final score was 68 to 64 lower. I was closer."
• Eddie [25:54]: "The scoring is the issue."
• Lunchbox [32:22]: "He brought it up again and again and again."
• Lunchbox [33:07]: "I am the champion. Accept it and move on."
• Eddie [31:29]: "This isn't what you want to die on."
• Eddie [37:00]: "Make your TV, I left, it was like a huge box."
• Lunchbox [40:32]: "I almost went off on the family text."

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Conclusion

This episode of "The Bobby Bones Show" masterfully intertwines light-hearted golf stories with deeper familial tensions, illustrating how seemingly small competitions can lead to significant disputes. Lunchbox's candid storytelling, combined with Eddie's supportive commentary, provides listeners with both entertainment and relatable moments. The episode underscores the importance of prioritizing family harmony over competitive rivalries, all while maintaining the show's signature humor and engaging dialogue.

Transcript

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[Eddie]

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[Eddie]

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[Lunchbox]

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[Eddie]

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[Lunchbox]

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[Eddie]

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[Lunchbox]

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[Lunchbox]

I hit it good, man. I'm gonna tell you what I did something the other day that we all dream about doing. Bray.

[Eddie]

I got a divorce.

[Lunchbox]

Not only about 50% of Americans dream about divorce, because that's about the divorce rate in America. But that was not it. I did not get a divorce, but I did not cheat. I did not sleep with a prostitute. I didn't do any of that. I'm just saying that a lot of people sitting at work today are dreaming about doing this. As they drive down the highway, they are dreaming about doing this. I did it.

[Eddie]

Touching themselves.

[Lunchbox]

No, no, no, no. They don't dream about that. They just do that under their desk.

[Eddie]

The sales people.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

I will say not to take away from your story, guys. I don't know what you guys do on the message boards if you hate when I do that. There was a guy walking to the bathroom. Looked like the walking Dead. I. I think he literally couldn't even. His eyes were so glossed over from sitting in a cubicle trying to sell our show. Dude. I think he was half asleep. He almost walked right through me. We didn't even say hi to each other. We both went to the bathroom. He, he was so glossy eyed, foggy. I don't even think he saw me. I, he. It must be brutal sitting at a cubicle and I'll hang up and listen. Finish your story.

[Lunchbox]

I think staring at that computer all day does that to your eyes. You wonder why you get the cataract. I think it's staring at the computer and sitting there and just the, the, the, the.

[Eddie]

I mean that poor guy. Dude, never say we have a hard day until you run into the guy that I ran into the bathroom. Good gosh, it looks miserable out there in cubicle land.

[Lunchbox]

He looked like, he probably looked like he was dead because he was just like, this is my life, right? I have no dead on the inside. He was dead on the inside.

[Eddie]

What I'm saying because me and him were both so tired. We didn't say one word to each other. We both were at the urinal. We both walked in looking at each other, didn't even acknowledge each. Well, we looked at each other.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, cuz you were coming one direction, he's coming the other and then you have to turn into the bathroom. So he's coming from west.

[Eddie]

Dude. Neither one of us said hi. Then we both went to the urinal. Still no highs. Then we were going back and forth scissoring for the paper towel. And we still didn't say Ty. Me and him were that tired. Dude, I, but I felt that I had enough energy to say hi. So that was actually on me. I feel every, every bit that he had had been all used up trying to sell our show.

[Lunchbox]

Do you say hi to pretty much everyone in the bathroom? Like if you're going into the bathroom or coming out and someone's going in, do you say hi to them automatically?

[Eddie]

Yeah, it's like, you know what we're are. We're synced up in the crotch region. Might as well acknowledge that. What's up, man?

[Lunchbox]

That's funny because I was just walking out of the bathroom and Mike D. Was walking into the bathroom. I didn't say a damn word to him. I just walked right past him.

[Eddie]

Get back to your story, man. I took you on.

[Lunchbox]

Here's the thing. He was looking at his phone. He was just staring at his phone, scrolling as he's walking into the bathroom. And I'm like, do I really need to interrupt his scroll to say what up Mike? And I said, no, my what up Mike? I don't want to take him away from that phone that has A red case on it. And I just walked right by him. Went on with my life, Ray.

[Eddie]

There's nothing like a good doom scroll.

[Lunchbox]

So I decided on Monday. The sun was shining. It was a beautiful day, la. And I said, you know what? This is the perfect day to go to the golf course.

[Eddie]

Sheesh.

[Lunchbox]

So I went home.

[Eddie]

At least one of us did.

[Lunchbox]

And I grabbed the clubs. The wife was not home. I don't know where she was. I gave her a call. She did not answer.

[Eddie]

That's cause for concern.

[Lunchbox]

I was going to say, hey, just let you know I'm going to the golf course. But no answer. Not my problem. So I drove to the golf course. I didn't go to the local muni. I went to a different one a few miles from there.

[Eddie]

Bones Country Club.

[Lunchbox]

No, you've been there.

[Eddie]

Don't act like you have.

[Lunchbox]

I've been there one time. You're right.

[Eddie]

I've been there. Zero.

[Lunchbox]

One time. And I pull up, and the parking lot is not very crowded. There's two people on the putting green. I'm like, man, if I hurry, I can get out before them both to pull up. It was a guy and a girl. And then I noticed they're filming content. He's got his camera set up, and I don't know if they're filming YouTube videos, Tic Tacs, whatever they're doing, or they're just making some kinky video for themselves to watch when they get home.

[Eddie]

You know what? They were filming her putting stroke kick.

[Lunchbox]

Should have thought of that. And I change in the parking lot, put on my shirt shorts. Had to go buy new shorts, by the way. I bought them over the weekend.

[Eddie]

Oh, I was gonna get you some for the B day.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, dude, you can still get me. I only have one pair, so I could use some for the B day.

[Eddie]

No, I'm gonna get your kids a soccer net.

[Lunchbox]

I saw the other day, and so I go in the clubhouse, and he's like, oh, yeah, can I help you? Oh, yeah, man, I'm just looking to play 18. He goes walking or riding? I said, oh, I'm riding. He goes, all right, Takes my credit card. Hey, man, you're free to go.

[Eddie]

Wait, wow. You're just in and out. No way.

[Lunchbox]

No wait, no nothing. So I go rolling up to the first tee box. I get off the cart, get the driver out, kind of take a couple practice swings. And here comes a walker. Hey, man, I think we're going to play together now.

[Eddie]

We're not.

[Lunchbox]

All right, cool, man. All right, cool. What's your name? Hey. Tony. Nice to meet you, man. Lunchbox. All right, cool. Yeah, Tony. Tony got his sunglasses on, got his hat on. He's ready to go. He gets up. I. One thing I liked about Tony, he didn't take a single practice swing the whole time.

[Eddie]

I really don't either. I noticed that with Angelina and Justin. I'm actually. I'm a people pleaser. I don't want people waiting a minute for me to swing.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, but you do need to take a couple of practice swings just to get that swing down, make sure everything's in order. But the dude was just walk up and whack, nail it. And we were flying the first three or four holes, just going. Then we hit a log jam. We caught some people. So then it's time to conversate with Tony.

[Eddie]

How you been? How's your sex life?

[Lunchbox]

No, I didn't ask about his sex life. Didn't ask about anything about that. He really just started talking. I didn't really say, hey, how are you doing? He was. I was just. I did say, man, I do. It's crazy. You don't take a single practice when he goes, yeah, my putting's not very good. My putting could be better, but I'm a 10 handicap. I've just gotten good. I've only been playing three years, but I'd like to get it down to, like, you know, a three or four. But my. My putting is not that good. Next shot, hits it in the water, I'm like, I don't know if you're a 10 handicap, but hey, whatever. To each their own. If you want to say you're a 10 handicap, you're a 10 handicap.

[Eddie]

Cool. Did he ask you about syphilis?

[Lunchbox]

No. And he didn't ask me what my handicap was. He wasn't concerned. He just wanted to let me know. He's a 10 handicap. His putting is what's holding him back.

[Eddie]

Guys, how do you know what a golfer's handicap is? Oh, don't worry. They'll tell you.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, how do you know someone that is in CrossFit? Don't worry, they'll tell you. But I will say CrossFit has kind of disappeared from the map.

[Eddie]

It did after those reports came out of Rabdo how bad it is for your body to always be working new parts.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, really?

[Eddie]

Then everybody just escaped? It was a mass exodus out of the CrossFit gyms.

[Lunchbox]

Colt, I haven't seen him any gyms. I don't know anybody that does CrossFit anymore. So anyway, so the next tee box, we're sitting there waiting, and he's like, do you see Justin Thomas? Finally got him one.

[Eddie]

Oh, shut up. I stopped gambling two months ago.

[Lunchbox]

I said, oh, yeah. He goes, man, it's about time, man. He really needed that first confidence. I. I was really happy to see it. Cool. And I'm like, what are you, his uncle? I'm like, cool, man. Cool. All right. And he goes, yeah. How about Rory, man?

[Eddie]

Masters?

[Lunchbox]

He goes, he won the Masters. I'm like, yeah. He goes, I could just tell it's been weighing on him. I could just tell.

[Eddie]

Who is this guy? Work for the Golf Channel?

[Lunchbox]

I said, oh, yeah. I go, he. I go, he could. He goes, I could tell by the way he's carrying his body these last few years. The weight on his shoulders was just intense.

[Eddie]

Yeah, that was Amanda Baliones he was carrying. Allegedly.

[Lunchbox]

I was like, yeah, man, I bet the pressure. I go, I thought he was going to pull a Jordan Spieth and choke it away, and then his career would have been never the same. I don't know how you would recover from that. And he goes, yeah, but then that one guy choked, and then he choked, and then he choked again. He goes, but Rory did it in the playoff. And I was like. And he goes, man, I feel bad for Bryson DeChambeau. I'm like, what do you mean? He goes, how about that, dude? He's hitting, like, drives that no one's ever heard of, hitting it almost 400 yards off the tee box. He goes, how crazy is that? He goes. And people try to say there's something wrong with his swing. Oh, how can they say there's something wrong with his swing? He is obsessed with the game.

[Eddie]

You know what I'm obsessed with? Silence, man. Why don't you shut the up?

[Lunchbox]

I said. I said, oh, yeah. He goes, the crazy thing about Bryson is he is so obsessed with the game. He knows everything about his swing, his clubs. He goes. Once he makes contact before the ball is even five feet from his club, he knows where it's going to end up.

[Eddie]

Do you know how much people spend in prison if they kill somebody? Because, man, I'm about to kill you, dude. He covered every golfer who's left. Brian Harmon.

[Lunchbox]

No, no, we're still on Bryson, man. We got about 10 more minutes of Bryson talk.

[Eddie]

I'm already annoyed. But the truckers, they're so bored, they actually want to hear it.

[Lunchbox]

And he's like, so Bryson, five feet off the club, he knows where it's going to Land. I'm like, how do you know that? Have you ever talked to Bryson in your life? Like, what makes you think that he is the one that he knows once it's five feet from his club, other. He goes, other golfers have to wait till it's kind of out there and they know what direction it's going. He goes, bryson, five feet. That's how good of a golfer he is.

[Eddie]

I'm already. I'm out of the conversation. You're doing him a service to. To still have an ear pointed in his direction.

[Lunchbox]

We're stuck on the tee box, man. We're waiting. We're waiting for the other people to get out of the fairway.

[Eddie]

Have you ever faked a bathroom break or something?

[Lunchbox]

I almost faked a drowning in the pond right there.

[Eddie]

Hey, man, you ever tried to swim for fun in a pond and not come up?

[Lunchbox]

I mean, I. I was almost. Hey, man, I think I'm gonna go look for some golf balls and just dive in the pond and never come back. And so then he goes, man, I'll tell you what, lost it for Bryson. He goes. He goes, I can't believe he hits 900 golf balls a day. He goes, that's just too much. That is too many golf balls in one day for a person to hit. He goes, I'm going to tell you what, I don't think Tiger hit 900 golf balls in a day. He goes, for. So Bryson to go out to the driving range and hit 900 per day. That's why his body broke down.

[Eddie]

How many did Bryson hit at the Masters on his practice rounds?

[Lunchbox]

That's what he said, 900.

[Eddie]

On one day he hit 190. The other one, he hit 200 and something.

[Lunchbox]

So maybe it was 900 total.

[Eddie]

Factually inaccurate.

[Lunchbox]

So maybe it was 900 total.

[Eddie]

That's where I would have told him to bite his tongue because he's factually inaccurate with statistical scissors.

[Lunchbox]

He says, yeah, that's why Bryson's body didn't hold up on Sunday and he didn't have the oomph to get over the hump and beat Rory. I am sorry, Tony. Did you. Are you some kind of doctor? Do you know Bryson's body? Do you know how many golf balls he can hit before his body becomes fatigued? How do you know all this?

[Eddie]

I can't believe he was going all in on all these golfers. What an absolute treasure trove of information of the golfers. I actually wish I was gambling again. This is much needed information.

[Lunchbox]

He goes, and then to Cap it all off he goes.

[Eddie]

Tony Fee. Now. Here we go.

[Lunchbox]

No, we're still on Bryson, man. Oh, Fred Couples, how he messed up at the Masters. How where the Masters went wrong for him. He goes. To top it all off, he goes. Not after playing around. Amen corner, he goes. And then all the practice balls he's hitting, he goes. Which is just way too many for one golfer. You just can't do that many. Tony.

[Eddie]

You're going to blame it on Ray Creek.

[Lunchbox]

He said, son of a. Tony. He said then at night, he was walking his neighborhood.

[Eddie]

That's the funny video. Were you able to join in? That's the video you told us about.

[Lunchbox]

He said, once you're done golfing, you got to get off your legs, man. Like, he's already walked the course. He's hit all these practice balls. Going for a walk is probably bad for him. He needs to get as much sleep as possible. He goes. And then not only did he go walking, he found someone with a backyard that had a putting green and shipping green, and he hung out with those people for a couple hours. And he goes, I am sorry. I'm a Bryson fan. He goes. But he didn't take the master serious enough. This is where he messed up. If I'm in a tournament for that much money with a green jacket at stakes, I don't have time for my people to go hang out with other people in their backyard and chip and putt and go for walks at night. When there's that much money on the line, he has to be a more serious golfer. And. And Bryson's not it.

[Eddie]

Tony, you serious right now? Serious has a heart attack. Hell yeah.

[Lunchbox]

I looked at this guy, and I'm like, tony, you don't think Bryson was taking it serious? A. How do you know? Athletes are able to car compartmentalize better than anybody on this planet.

[Eddie]

Tiger woods told us about it. He was able to eat Lucky Charm cereal, watch cartoons, while Rachel Ukatel was in lingerie and pantyhose. And then he would play in the Masters. And that's a fact.

[Lunchbox]

100%. But this dude Tony at the local muni who's a 10 handicap, can tell me exactly what went wrong with Bryson.

[Eddie]

Tony, you ever thought about going into coaching for golf? You sure know a lot.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah. Hey, Tony, have you ever thought about being a PGA pro or, like, a sports psychologist? Because you know that Bryson needs to take the tournament more serious. That's why he lost, is because he was too busy goofing off.

[Eddie]

What does Tony do for a Career work at Dick's.

[Lunchbox]

Well, obviously nothing. It was like a 2 o'clock on a Monday, so he probably doesn't have it. He didn't say anything about his job because the guy.

[Eddie]

I went to a Dick's, knew all there was to know about golf. And he got a little handsy. When I was trying to explain to him my drive and how I needed the grips, he was double gripping with his hands over mine.

[Lunchbox]

That's awkward.

[Eddie]

Yeah, well, I said, bazer, we don't need the grips. We're good.

[Lunchbox]

Make it all go, go, go.

[Eddie]

Get a box of balls. I'm just telling you, the Dicks guys love being the dicks. Tour pros.

[Lunchbox]

Well, Tony, the guy at the local Muni, thinks He knows Bryson DeChambeau and what he can and cannot do to win a tournament. And I said, oh, do you think maybe him being on live and only playing three rounds and then had to play a fourth round at the Masters, maybe that he was mentally fatigued? No, I don't think that had anything to do with it. It's just too much practice.

[Eddie]

Oh, that tells me you were going back and forth.

[Lunchbox]

No, no, that was my only comment. That was my only comment. He goes, but, yeah, so maybe next time Bryson will take it a little more serious, get more sleep, and he won't hit as many practice balls. I'm like, hey, man, you want to tee off? They've been off the green for about 30 minutes, like, this is a par three, so I think we can go now, man.

[Eddie]

Did you tell them about the pod?

[Lunchbox]

No, man. And then he tells me, I said, are you playing 18? He goes, I already played the back nine, dude. The back nine is not even worth it. Whoa.

[Eddie]

You don't want to get too tired.

[Lunchbox]

No, he'd already played the back nine.

[Eddie]

Whoa, you're gonna wear yourself out before the final hole.

[Lunchbox]

And I said, oh. He goes, it's not even worth playing. It's just so muddy back there. Let me tell you, I played the back nine perfectly fine, man. Nothing wrong with it.

[Eddie]

So he was over in the heavy stuff.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah. I don't know what was going on. But, man, Tony from the local Muni, if you need. If you need advice on golfers, on how they are losing tournaments. This guy that just started playing golf three years ago knows better than Bryson how to get ready for the Masters and win a green jacket. Got to take it more serious, get off your feet once the round is over, get as much sleep as possible, limit outside distractions. Bryson wasn't doing that that's why he lost the Masters, and that's why I hope I never get paired up with Tony again in my life.

[Eddie]

You got to go with Justin because sometimes he'll go two holes without talking. Yeah, you need a silent partner. Wow. That was a lot.

[Lunchbox]

That was a lot, man. That. That was my round at the Muni. I mean, that was just nine holes, man.

[Eddie]

Angelina talks a lot, but not that much. And actually, the stuff she says is funny and never. That director all knowing.

[Lunchbox]

I mean, I just. I never realized I was there in front of the golf guru that was going to teach me how to win the Masters. Like, that dude who's been playing for three years knows how to win the Masters.

[Eddie]

Bazer, she'll just sit in the cart drinking her mimosa, happy as a lark. You need to play with my.

[Lunchbox]

What is a lark?

[Eddie]

I don't know. You need to play with my friend group, man.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah. And then I. What's funny is he started out the conversation saying, bryson knows golf more than anybody because he knows where the ball is going to leave it, when it leaves his club, where it's going, all that he loves, eats, breathe, sleeps golf. But then he proceeded to bash his preparation and how he doesn't take it serious. Very confusing, very contradictory.

[Eddie]

He contradicted his original statements.

[Lunchbox]

Exactly.

[Eddie]

Did you say that to him?

[Lunchbox]

No, I was just like, tony, have a great day, man.

[Eddie]

No, Ray, I'll take it to the podcast. Use it as ammo.

[Lunchbox]

I just said, tony, have a great day, and I drove to number 10.

[Eddie]

Wait. Oh, so he split?

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, he split because he played the back nine first, because there was a seniors tournament on the front nine when he was there.

[Eddie]

Tony, you know the greatest thing about golfing? No, what's that, man?

[Lunchbox]

The.

[Eddie]

It has a beginning, a middle, and an end. I'll see you later.

[Lunchbox]

Let's start the show, man. Start the show. That was a rough day at the Muni, man.

[Eddie]

A break at a start or just a start?

[Lunchbox]

Just to start, man.

[Eddie]

Okay, I'm your. I'm your producer, man. You're the host.

[Lunchbox]

I gotta say, I thought it was gonna be a relaxing day at the Mu. The Muni. Anything but that.

[Eddie]

Dude, that was a rocket ship. Yeah, and we need to check in with Arnold about Coachella.

[Lunchbox]

I will hear all about it. Yeah. I can't wait. Okay, let's start the show.

[Eddie]

We're gonna do it live. We are the. 1, 2, 3, soar, losers.

[Lunchbox]

What up, everybody? I am Lunchbox. I know the most about sports, so I'll give You the sports facts, my sports opinions. What the hell? What's up, everybody? I am Lunchbox. I know the most about sports. So I'll give you the sports facts, my sports opinions. Because I'm pretty much a sports genius, y'all.

[Eddie]

It's sizzle. I am from the north. I'm an alpha male. I live on the north side of Nashville with Bazer, my wife. We do have 2.2 acres in the country, 2.2 kids at Vanderbilt. Justin looks at him the electrophysiology department every day. And I will die of a heart attack when I'm 72.2. Coach, over to you. But I'm guessing we're gonna take a break.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah. I need to know if we should do the intro. Like, do people like it when we just start talking? Or should we do the intro and then start talking? Because it's a weird. Like, what if someone has never heard the show? They just start listening and they have no idea? We don't introduce ourselves? Or is it okay and people don't care and they don't mind that we start getting on a topic and we just go? Then we do the intro. I'd like you to give us some feedback. We are the sore losersmail.com. hit us on the Facebook page or. Or you can subscribe to our YouTube page. Did you see the Big News Ray on YouTube?

[Eddie]

I don't know if it went down. Did it?

[Lunchbox]

Oh, it went down. We got to 1,000 followers on YouTube, dude. The Soar Losers podcast has 1,000 followers. And Annie Shiac Shaq Shake was our 1,000th subscriber. 1,000th. I can't say 1,000th. How do you say a 1,000? How would you say that you're 1,000 subscriber?

[Eddie]

Oh, my gosh, you sound.

[Lunchbox]

I can't say it. Say it.

[Eddie]

One. You're gonna say it in three syllables. One thou.

[Lunchbox]

Say it normal.

[Eddie]

Go to break.

[Lunchbox]

Say one thousandth.

[Eddie]

One thousand. No, because I don't want to sound like you.

[Lunchbox]

No, no. I think it's impossible to say it without sounding 1,000th.

[Eddie]

I'm a professional announcer. It's 1,000.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, that was actually pretty good. We'll take a break. We'll be right back.

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[Eddie]

Good job.

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New Instagram teen accounts. Automatic protections for who can contact your teen and the content they can see.

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[Dutch Announcer]

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[Eddie]

All right, we check in with Arnold so I can get this off my to do list.

[Lunchbox]

You want to check in with Arnold.

[Eddie]

Right now or do you have a segment?

[Lunchbox]

It's either way, man. I got big controversy in my wife's family.

[Eddie]

Do that, dude.

[Lunchbox]

When did March Madness end?

[Eddie]

March.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah. So. Yeah, March. Right.

[Eddie]

Cool.

[Lunchbox]

That's great. But here's the problem. I still am getting flack for winning my wife's family's March Madness bracket.

[Eddie]

She went too hard in the paint.

[Lunchbox]

There seems to be some vendetta against me by my father in law. And and he is trying to get my championship revoked. He is trying to figure out a way to discredit my championship medal.

[Eddie]

What says you, Phil? Father in law.

[Lunchbox]

So going into the championship game, I'm going to reset it for you. I was up by 17 points over second place Aunt Lisa.

[Eddie]

Auburn got sodomized. Florida was in there with somebody. Florida 1.

[Lunchbox]

I had Houston verse Florida in the championship. Aunt Lisa had Houston verse Florida in the championship. She had Florida winning. I had Houston winning. And I said, okay, here we go. Houston loses. She gets 17 points. We are tied. Tied. You've never seen the tie before in a March Madness pool. But before the tournament, they said the tiebreaker is total combined score in the national championship game per the rules.

[Eddie]

Per the rule. ESPN Yahoo.com spin Aunt Lisa put 78.

[Lunchbox]

To 72 or 75 to 72. That was her final score. My final score was 68 to 64 lower. I was closer. I was closer.

[Eddie]

Total points.

[Lunchbox]

Total points. Yahoo.

[Eddie]

Mean, median and mode.

[Lunchbox]

Ray, when you go to yahoo.com, guess who they have listed in first place. Me at Lisa. Second. Who gives a crap about the other losers underneath us? It's all mute. I win. My father in law thinks that's not right. How can you not pick the champion and the person that you tied with pick the champion and you be declared the winner.

[Eddie]

The scoring is the issue.

[Lunchbox]

I said this. Rules are plain and simple. They are stated for you at the very beginning. Why punish me for dominating the early rounds of the tournament, having such a big league that she had to get the champion just to tie me?

[Eddie]

That's what it is. You did well. Early, not so much late. And Lisa, a late bloomer, knew the winners.

[Lunchbox]

She got the winner. She got the national championship. But I had three out of the four final fours. And so he brings it up in the group chat and he's like, hey, I think I'm going to get the trophy engraved. Who should we put as the champion?

[Eddie]

He's just being funny. I think he's got to respect you, man.

[Lunchbox]

And I'm like, oh, well, I think you're going to put me because I am the champion according to Yahoo.

[Eddie]

Yahoo.

[Lunchbox]

And he brings up the whole, well, I don't know, man. It seems like you. It's a technicality. I'm not sure you're really the valid winner.

[Eddie]

What are we playing for again?

[Lunchbox]

Just the name on the trophy, man. He gets it engraved every year. Sort of like the Stanley Cup.

[Eddie]

I don't think you want to make it awkward, man. What's the next holiday? Thank Fourth of July. I think it's just better let aunt Lisa have it.

[Lunchbox]

And everybody starts chiming in. They're like, no, I think he won. And at least even chimes in. I think he won. So. All right, cool. I'm win five days later. All right. I made the appointment for the trophy to get engraved. Are we sure we are good with him being the champion?

[Eddie]

I know a good place, Opryland. I got father in law and my father's something about my wedding. Hey, guys. You guys mean a lot in my life. Engraved boom. They added almost same day. Real great spot. I can give you the name.

[Lunchbox]

No, it's in Houston that he's getting it done right. He said, I'm taking the trophy today. The appointment. Do we need a asterisk or a. This is a controversial champion next to his name because it allowed him to sneak in and claim the title. This is after we've already gone through this twice. Yeah.

[Eddie]

So sorry. Does Phil. Is his court case not as long as it used to be. What is he doing? He's got a lot of time in the group thread.

[Lunchbox]

Well, he has retired. He was a lawyer for many, many years, so he likes to argue.

[Eddie]

I feel like he's going hard in the group text paint.

[Lunchbox]

Yes. And my wife's sister goes, well, I'm pretty sure he won. But now that you've brought it up a third time, I'm going to do some digging. I'm going to get to the bottom of this. So she's going to log into Yahoo and try to figure it out.

[Eddie]

I just think it's good you guys are at least cordial. Family messages are better than nothing.

[Lunchbox]

And then he goes, everybody's argument is due by 7pm today because that's when I drop off the trophy.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Lunchbox]

And I'm like, this is annoying. So then my sister in law replies, actually she'll have to log in and confirm which tie breaking system she used when she set up our pool because I can't see those rules. I can only see the points for correct picks. But I feel very confident he won fair and square via the tiebreaker. He predicted a score for the final game was much closer than Aunt Lisa. And Yahoo. Standing puts him in first place, Aunt Lisa in second. So there doesn't have to be an asterisk or a question mark or. This is not believable. He won.

[Eddie]

You should have your dad chime in under your mom's account.

[Lunchbox]

Father in law goes, yeah, but I think the rule is just wrong. One player picked a loser and the other picked a winner in a head to head contest. How can the one who picked a loser be the winner? And I'm like, we have gone over this.

[Eddie]

Yeah, that's it. I'm going to call him. What's his number?

[Lunchbox]

And then sister in law chimed in. He built up such a lead that Aunt Lisa could barely catch him. Why would you punish him for being so good? And he said, well I, if I know him, he would not want to win this way. And he couldn't sleep at night, being a technicality. Winner. And Aunt Lisa chimes in, no asterisk. He won, but thanks for checking and trying to have my back. Then this is what he texts the next day.

[Eddie]

This can all be used in the court of law, guys. That's why I'm remaining a little silent on this one.

[Lunchbox]

He texted, I took it to the trophy place last night and I Explained the situation to the guy that is engraving the trophy and he said, don't worry, he would do the right thing. What are we doing? Like, why are we taking this so freaking far? Listen, like, I don't want to get upset about a stupid trophy and getting engraved, but am I missing something? Why is it such a a deal? I won first place.

[Eddie]

They're going to come back with the Ascaris thing to be cute. It's all about family bonding. I don't think this is the hill to die of the death.

[Lunchbox]

No, no, this is a big deal because this trophy is so important to them. When my wife and I were dating, I was not allowed to enter their family tournament. You had to be in the family before you could play not dating. You had to be married in the family before you should. You could play Ray.

[Eddie]

I claim that took it down.

[Lunchbox]

So I just cannot believe that we are doing this. Am I missing something? Is there any way that she should win?

[Eddie]

What you're explaining to me is every parent right now that's going through retirement, they're lost guys. They're trying to find something to fill that void of work. Which tells me we work all our lives only to be bored AF on a family group text thread. Take a step back, put your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.

[Lunchbox]

So what you're saying is as a lawyer, he was used to battling for very serious cases and he is missing the thrill of going in the courtroom and arguing in front of a judge and so he's going to find something so small, so minuscule that he's going to fight to the death so his sister gets put on the trophy over his son in law.

[Eddie]

Would you prefer that or the latter? What is the latter? Hey, Aunt Martha has bunions on her feet. Here's the picture. Any doctors in this thread? Coach? Enjoy the humor of it. Laugh it off. We all know you won. But I think it's coming back with multiple names and asterisk that means they love you. It's endearing, it's great and fine. This isn't what you want to die on. What you want to die on is Saturdays with the boys golfing, Thursdays with the boys drinking at Whiskey Nickel. That's the stuff you want to really fight for. This ain't it. This ain't it. I'll hang up and listen.

[Lunchbox]

I understand what you're saying, but there's never been this many question marks. I've never seen. Like I've never seen someone for three weeks keep bringing it up. Over and over and over, like the family thread has moved on to something else. And he would reintroduce it, saying, hey, are we sure we want to crown him the champion? And I told my wife on the side, and I, I, I almost went off on the family text.

[Eddie]

Honey, I'm going to tell you this off thread. Yeah, no crap. You guys live in the same house together.

[Lunchbox]

Yes, but I, I told her, I said, I almost replied, finally said, I don't know what your problem is with me right now, and I don't know why you have a vendetta against me. I am the champion. Accept it and move on. I don't understand the problem.

[Eddie]

I don't mean to come off as rude, but off family.

[Lunchbox]

And she goes, this is what my wife said. She goes, oh, I think he's joking.

[Eddie]

He's joking. It's some, it's a commonality. You guys are just reaching for anything.

[Lunchbox]

What do you mean you think he's, you think the joke is a three week long joke?

[Eddie]

Dude, it's been a month, dude. Me, Bazer, her dad and her mom had a joke thread about Laura's golfing, her dad saying she's not good, me sending a video, her mom saying, I can't believe she hit the ball, me saying, she's getting better, she got three outfits, she's going to go three times. There was a commonality. So we were all on the thread. The thread is since dried up. If you have something in common with the family, enjoy the moment, savor it. Because guess what? In two months, Aunt Martha's got bunions. Any thoughts on these? And I'm telling you, it's right around the corner.

[Lunchbox]

I mean, someone please tell me, how do I. Maybe I'm missing something. I'm just. And I shouldn't get this passionate about. I shouldn't care. But if he said it once and moved on, cool. Twice. All right, cool. The third time. And then actually telling the trophy guy and saying the trophy guy will handle it. I don't want some dumbass stranger deciding if my name is on the trophy, if there's an asterisk or what.

[Eddie]

Listen, you're on a show where it's debated. Dumb stuff that nobody debates. You should be used to debating dumb things. So, debate boy.

[Lunchbox]

I did debate and I won the debate. And I had everybody winning the debate. And then he brought it up again and again and again. I can't come up with a new argument every freaking time.

[Eddie]

I can't think of a new thing to say about this argument.

[Lunchbox]

We're going to take a break and I'm going to hear from Arnold right after this.

[Instagram Announcer]

Introducing Instagram Teen accounts. A new way to keep your teen safer as they grow. Like making sure they always have their seatbelt on.

All right, buckle up.

[Eddie]

Good job.

[Instagram Announcer]

New Instagram Teen accounts. Automatic protections for who can contact your teen and the content they can see.

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[Dutch Announcer]

Time is precious and so are our pets. So time with our pets is extra precious. That's why we started Dutch. Dutch provides 24. 7 access to licensed vets with unlimited virtual visits and follow ups for up to five pets. You can message a vet at any time and schedule a video visit the same day. Our vets can even prescribe medication for many ailments and shipping is always free. With Dutch, you'll get more time with your pets and year round peace of mind when it comes to their vet care.

[Eddie]

Oh, I gotta think of something. This is guys, back in the show, back in studio here. Sore losers. This is the voicemail I got from Arnold.

[Dutch Announcer]

Hey there, Bulls.

[Eddie]

I met Coachell. I just did MDMT with Biebs. Hey, any of you guys know Shador's number? So that's the voicemail he left me.

[Lunchbox]

Okay.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Lunchbox]

And then were you able to get him Shadur's number?

[Eddie]

Yes. So I gave Arnold Shadour's number. So we thought he was still. He was working up for the next event. So we thought he had a busy last month. We thought he was at the Final four. He was busy. Super bowl busy. Augusta busy. Coachella in Palm Springs, California, busy.

[Lunchbox]

The draft.

[Eddie]

He wanted to be at the draft.

[Lunchbox]

Did you, did he see Ashley White at the draft?

[Eddie]

No, he couldn't make it.

[Lunchbox]

Oh.

[Eddie]

He wanted to be a part of the draft. So from Coachella, he called Shedeur. Oh, and so this is what this is. I got audio of the voicemail to Shedeur. Hey, Shador, this is gm. What's up, man? Yeah, when am I gonna get drafted. You want to get me some Brown drugs? What? I'm gonna be drafted to the Browns. You're gonna have to be waited a little bit longer to draft. Get me those drugs, man. I need some drugs. Wait, am I drafted or what? Yeah, this is the gm. Gonna have to wait a little bit longer. Get me back. And they cut off dude. But he wanted to be a part of the draft and he is now claiming that he was the one that called Shador. And he said he was making a drug request to Shador and it. And Shador thought that he was telling him he was being drafted, but really he wanted Brown, which is a drug reference to some. To skag. It's street meth.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[Eddie]

And Shedeur thought he's being drafted to the Browns.

[Lunchbox]

Huh. Wow.

[Eddie]

So it's just a mix up. It was not the Falcons coach. It was Arnold and Coachella.

[Lunchbox]

Man. That's unfortunate because the Falcons got fined like $250,000, dude. And the coach got lost 100k.

[Eddie]

I thought you're gonna say his job.

[Lunchbox]

No, he lost 100k, dude.

[Eddie]

He did.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah. I don't know if he's going to be able to play his son's frat duties anymore. Frat duties?

[Eddie]

That's the problem with pranks. They're all fun until somebody gets fired, Fined, you know the other one or.

[Lunchbox]

Listen, finding that's so stupid.

[Eddie]

But the guy a six figure fine. You're not making that much.

[Lunchbox]

Let's see how much. How much does the D corner D coordinator for the Falcons make, Ray?

[Eddie]

It's 100 times what we make on the pod.

[Lunchbox]

Okay. Jeff Ulbrich is earning 1.6 million per.

[Eddie]

Year, so he can afford to lose that. But it's still going to hurt a little bit.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah. 100k out of 1.6 million is not like a tap on the foot.

[Eddie]

That is family vacation going to be cut. Instead of going to Turks and Caicos, you're going to Tuscaloosa. You know, stuff like that. So is there a bed plan or. No?

[Lunchbox]

No, there's nothing.

[Eddie]

I'm going condomless now. I don't do the headphones.

[Lunchbox]

Okay, well, there's no bed.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Lunchbox]

Did you want to do a bed?

[Eddie]

No. So, but what I'm saying is that hurts a little bit. Prank ain't as funny anymore.

[Lunchbox]

What do you think the dad says to his son when he sees the.

[Eddie]

Video of him of his son doing that?

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, like, hey, man, like, what were you like? Is he mad? Does he Laugh is he?

[Eddie]

This is all alleged, son. Son kind of wants to take claim. And the only way you can do that is with a video, right? You heard in the news. It was just number got leaked. Number got leaked. His name was never being attached to anything. So then he did the video so that he could, you know, put his stamp on it. And then he really backfired. And you just never know how these things are gonna go. The people that prank Cooper Dejan, Hilarious. So funny. This one went south and it was deemed rude and heartless and crass. You just don't know how the media and people and humanity are going to take jokes and pranks. Sometimes an old man will laugh at, another one will have a heart attack and die. Ray, that's a myocardial infarction. You never know how people are going to take a prank.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, dude. I almost had a heart attack the other day. Yesterday, my 3 year old hid around the corner, like, in the hallway, and I was in the kitchen doing something. I finally, I got to go to the bathroom and I go to walk and I turned the corner. He. I mean, he must have been sitting there for 10 minutes.

[Eddie]

Boo. Oh, my God. Did you have anything in your hands or was it before? Bathroom.

[Lunchbox]

I was going to the bathroom. I was going to.

[Eddie]

That's dangerous.

[Lunchbox]

And I was like, oh, my gosh. And I told my wife, out of the bathroom, I'm going to go to the local emergency room, check myself in for a heart attack. Because, I mean, you can. You can tell when it's a legit, like, scare. And that was a legit. Oh, my gosh. Crap. My pants jump like that. Got me. Yeah.

[Eddie]

Bazer's never done the boo. But there's times she'll be right around the corner and she'll just stand there and wait for me to come around the corner. Not cool. Not cool. Because as a man, in that split 10th of a second between the boo or the jumping out, you're thinking, where's the gun? Am I about to get killed? Did my house get broken into? Am I about to get. Is somebody about to cut off mine? All those things cross your mind in a split second.

[Lunchbox]

It was terrifying. I like the jokes. I love that they have the sense of humor to hide and do that. But, man, when they really, really get you, oh, my wife hates it. She. She does not play that game. She doesn't like to be scared. She doesn't like you to jump out at her. She doesn't like any of that. But the kids, they love and they have gotten so good at staying quiet. They used to make noise after like half a second and. Or you'd hear them banging on the wall or whatever. Now they will sit there and they are patient and sit there and sit there and you don't even think, oh, they're around the corner. Because you just think, oh, they're in the other room playing. Because you don't hear anything. And you walk around that corner. It's like, ah, that's.

[Eddie]

That's, that's tough, Coach. That's got to hurt a little bit. I mean, that's not easy on the heart, those scares. Especially when they're going quiet.

[Lunchbox]

Especially when you got to try not to use the curse word when they scream at you and you're like. They go boo. And you want to yell mother. Or you.

[Eddie]

Coach. You're going to be good though. If anybody's ever lurking around the corner in a back alley at Sore Losers Festival.

[Lunchbox]

Why?

[Eddie]

Because you're already been scared. You're going to know what to do.

[Lunchbox]

I just scream like a little girl.

[Eddie]

Get ready. Get ready. Never got to get ready.

[Lunchbox]

Hey, stay ready. Never got to get ready. Yeah.

[Eddie]

Not Overton.

[Lunchbox]

Is that. Was he. Was he the one?

[Eddie]

Stay ready.

[Lunchbox]

I thought, shit me.

[Eddie]

Stay ready. And Overton got smart.

[Lunchbox]

What?

[Eddie]

Remember he used to teach all those kids how to snap?

[Lunchbox]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

He turned into a camp. He's like $150 ahead. I get. He got a kicker. He's the snapper. He said come out and learn for a day. Yeah. 150 a head.

[Lunchbox]

No crap.

[Eddie]

He's going to clear 10k, dude. Hey, that's how you turn a nice little hobby into a business. Which is what I've been trying to tell you for the last seven years. We need merch. We need YouTube. We need Kick Overton beat us to the punch.

[Lunchbox]

Would you listen? Design merch. Just do something.

[Eddie]

Bazer sent over designs.

[Lunchbox]

I don't remember it.

[Eddie]

To your wife. It was a stocky cap. But guess what? It's summer. We missed the season. The new merch is your dumb quote. What is it?

[Lunchbox]

We got a climber.

[Eddie]

What's the other one? What's your other one?

[Lunchbox]

Oh, we got a climber. Are you ready to get ready?

[Eddie]

That's a shirt.

[Lunchbox]

So you just put it right here across his chest. Yeah. And then put Sword losers podcast underneath it.

[Eddie]

Yes. We got to talk to our girl.

[Lunchbox]

We may. We need to go away from her. Maybe we need to go somewhere else.

[Eddie]

We don't have anything else.

[Lunchbox]

My, my, my day ones.

[Eddie]

Great one merchandise Went belly up.

[Lunchbox]

What about day ones?

[Eddie]

I believe we need permission because they said we have all that extra leftover inventory.

[Lunchbox]

No. What is she going to do? We don't even talk to her.

[Eddie]

What is she gonna do?

[Lunchbox]

What is she gonna do?

[Eddie]

You ever heard about get sued?

[Lunchbox]

No, I haven't. What are you gonna sue? A faulty breach of contract and did you ever sign a contract with her? Finn to find out. Did you ever sign a contract with her?

[Eddie]

Well, I always say that like a big guy because I thought in college I didn't sign an apartment. Well, they found it and I owed him $3,000. So did we sign the contract? I couldn't tell you. We fit in to find out when we get sued.

[Lunchbox]

That reminds me, my roommate in college, we lived over at Pin Oak, man, and we signed a nine month lease, right? Nine months, that's random.

[Eddie]

But.

[Lunchbox]

Well, because you want to do school year, the summer, we're not going to be there.

[Eddie]

Got it.

[Lunchbox]

And years later he's in the Marines, right? And he gets a notice from a debt agency saying, hey, you owe this money because you broke your lease. And he's like, the hell I did. And they said, yeah, 12 month lease because. And you left after nine, blah, blah, blah. You know, they're like, you owe certain amount of money and he, they're putting it on his credit and everything. I'll tell you what, if he didn't get his two weeks leave or whatever, if he didn't fly his ass to San Antonio and show up at that debt collecting office and have the copy of his day our lease and say, now say, what did I break? What? The only thing I'm a break is I'm going to break some fingers if this ain't fixed right now. They took it off.

[Eddie]

Did he really?

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, because it was nine months. He had the dang thing. They just were hoping that you would freak out and pay it.

[Eddie]

That's wild. Mine. After Costa Rica, dude and his chick, we all move in together. We're all friends. Diesel and Jennifer and me.

[Lunchbox]

Diesel, that's a bad man.

[Eddie]

Everything's great. Well, Diesel and her break up, so me and her there sometime on a random Friday, Saturday night.

[Lunchbox]

You didn't hook up with Diesel's girl, did you know?

[Eddie]

Okay, no, but it was a huge house, so we were in different quarters. She worked nights, I worked at Grande Communications. I had like.

[Lunchbox]

How was Diesel's girl? Was she hot?

[Eddie]

Slamming hot.

[Lunchbox]

Okay.

[Eddie]

The hottest girl at Texas State.

[Lunchbox]

Before you were married.

[Eddie]

Before I was married. And so I was fine with Living there. Fine, I guess. She sweet talked me. I signed it one time after a couple drinks on a Friday night. I do not remember signing a lease. I moved out of that. She left, I left. We're like, screw the lease. And I was like, I'm not even on that lease. And she's like, yeah, I have a brother who's a lawyer. He'll get it all cleared up. We're all good. All right, cool. See you. See ya. My TV, I left, it was like a huge box. TV didn't even really work. It weighed 500 pounds. Charged me 250 for that. Charged me a thousand for breaking lease. Charged me a thousand for carpet cleaning. I hit her up on Facebook. I get a phone call, this debt collector. Hey, man, this is Jim Sorensen with Austin, Texas Debt Collection. You owe us 3, $500. I was like, oh. And I go, well, you're gonna have to find that lease sends it over. My name's on it like a dumbass. I hit her up on Facebook. Hey, this guy's hit me up for 3, 500. You need to pay half, I'll pay half. She went silent. I never heard from her ever again. I actually still need to find her. And I hit my parents up and I go, listen, you're gonna hate me, but I promise I'll make it up to you. I gotta pay this guy this money. He's coming after me. He's like a headhunter. He's called me like 10 times. I'm at the radio station. He keeps calling me every day. Hey, man, you got to pay that money.

[Lunchbox]

You son. You son of a.

[Eddie]

You son of a. I'll be come over there. Break it up your man.

[Lunchbox]

If you don't know any better, I'm going to punch you right up your dick.

[Eddie]

It was like that. And so I tell Jennifer, she's gone. I tell my parents, my parents, like, we'll pay for it, but never again, man.

[Lunchbox]

You got good parents.

[Eddie]

Got it cleared up.

[Lunchbox]

You know, we need to clear up the Ray Jinx. We'll do it right after this. We'll be right back.

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[Lunchbox]

Nice.

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[Eddie]

Yep.

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[Lunchbox]

There. We got an email. It's not a good one. Mary, you want to hit the email clip, right? I think I do. You want to hit the email. Hey, coachers. I'd like to take a moment and mourn something that was once great. When our boy Ray ran, it ran into Dame time. He was living his best Life. A top 10 player averaging 32 points a game and looking for a championship with the Greek freak. But since the dreaded encounter, Dame has been falling off to 24 points a game, a blood clot, and now a torn Achilles. The rage inks has morphed into human form. Now, God help us all. Please send Dame time off with a five gun salute. After all, he calls Milwaukee home. Joe from Sarasota.

[Eddie]

All right, that's enough of that. It was Punta Cana, Dominican Republic. Now we're on vacation together.

[Lunchbox]

And that's when he told the trailblazers he wanted out. Ray saw him there and he was working out. He was working out hard.

[Eddie]

He was just boxing in the square in the very middle of Moon Palace. Whatever it was called, it was like hard rock or something else. Secrets. Just wanted people to see him working out. Never shot a basketball. Always. What? What are the workouts that we bashed earlier in the show?

[Lunchbox]

CrossFit.

[Eddie]

Always CrossFit workouts. That's how he got injured.

[Lunchbox]

Listen, there's no need to shoot a basketball every workout. I mean, just like we found out earlier in the show, if Bryson Hit less golf balls. He would have been the Masters champion. So maybe you're saying Dame needs to practice more basketball shots, and he could have been an NBA champion.

[Eddie]

There was something with that workout, and that's exactly what it was. It was the old school CrossFit that creates rhabdo, and that's how he got injured. So. Thanks, Joe. You just led me to my investigation of how Dame got injured. Dude, we need to put together a whole presentation and present it.

[Lunchbox]

Dude, your Netflix documentary is going to be how Dame got done in.

[Eddie]

Dude, that's the thing he was doing. He was doing all these weird workout. Punching boxing.

[Lunchbox]

How Dame died. How the legacy of Dame died. It was sad to see, man. He went. And I was like, oh, man, it's over. He can win hands over the shoulders. They had to help him off the court. And right there, the raging struck again. But I don't think it was the raging. It's been too many years. Like, just because Ray saw someone two years ago, man, that means Forsberg would probably break his leg in the next few days. Oh, no. Oh, no. If Forsberg does get hurt in the next couple days, like, if it comes out Phillip Sportsberg was in a car wreck. Oh, my God. I am. I'm. I'm done with this podcast.

[Eddie]

I'll have to quit instead of going that direction. What if he gets traded? That's very likely.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, my gosh. Oh, that's a great point.

[Eddie]

Lost our best player because I saw him at the Green Hills Mall. Guys, it's not funny. Joe, don't start that, man. That's a bad precedent to start doing that.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, Joe, that's so rude. Dude, who do you think you are?

[Eddie]

Come on, man. I saw you at the convention. If you had any health problems.

[Lunchbox]

He's like, actually, yeah, man, I've been at the doctor. I'm on a catheter now. You know what I mean? My. My urine is, you know, green. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's ever since I came to Nashville.

[Eddie]

Joe, how's your health, you idiot? How's your wife? Because I hung out with her, too.

[Lunchbox]

She's actually been in a very big depression ever since the convention. Like, her life has not been the same.

[Eddie]

She's now an alcoholic. She drinks wine every Friday at 6. Saturday.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, my gosh. All right, let's go home. Happy Wednesday, man. Happy Wednesday. I got to go. I got to go get a haircut.

[Eddie]

You made me jealous about the golfing, man. I got to get back out there.

[Lunchbox]

Man, did I make you jealous or I make you like, oh, my God, please don't.

[Eddie]

No, I love golf stories, but I need to go out and golf. It's been now, when was Easter? Two weeks with Angelina and Justin. It wasn't even a good one.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah. And then the back nine. I played with some guy that lives in a high rise down here on Broadway. He just moved here, the beginning, right before winter. And he lived out in Vegas for 20 years. I didn't really get what he did because I was like, oh, did you ever play golf in Vegas? He goes, oh, three times a week, dude.

[Eddie]

I'm going to take a wild guess. Gambled.

[Lunchbox]

That's what I'm thinking. If he lives in a high rise and he's in another, you know, Monday afternoon just playing golf. And in Vegas, he played three times a week, he said, because from 12 to 3pm the tee times were dirt cheap because no one wanted to go out in the heat. And he was like, you want me to pay for $10? Play golf, I'll go out there. And he goes, in the courses in Vegas, even the public ones, were fantastic.

[Eddie]

Sheesh.

[Lunchbox]

And so I didn't really get what he did, but he lives in a high rise downtown. And I mean, he was a nice guy, though. He didn't. He wasn't giving me a lesson or anything like that. But he did tell me, man, you got a smooth swing. You know who your swing reminds me of? Fred Couples.

[Eddie]

There we go. We're so many levels away from pro golfers for him to even compare your swing to Freddie Couples.

[Lunchbox]

And I said, oh, did you play all the time? He goes, oh, I played all the time. He goes, then I took five years off. What did you take five years off for?

[Eddie]

Might have been on cocaine.

[Lunchbox]

No, he started playing a slow pitch, competitive softball for five years. And so he couldn't play golf during that time. I'm like, well, why couldn't you play golf during? Then he's like, didn't want to mess up my swing, man. I had to really. I had to go to the batting cages a lot and get my swing down. He goes, I was the designated home run hitter. He says, I would come up and just whack over the fence. That was my job. Okay? So that was it, man. That's all I got from him. I didn't know much else about him. He was a big Florida Gators fan. He was from Florida when he grew where he grew up. And now he's living in Nashville, living in a high rise, not sure, if he worked or not, but. Yeah, but he was real nice. He didn't give me any lessons or anything like that.

[Eddie]

Got a buddy, you know him, we can say it off. Mike, he was on smack, and he said he stayed up for 48 straight hours one time playing golf. I don't know if that's what did him in, but the golf was never good for the neck, the back. But he can still play tennis. And he got off the smack.

[Lunchbox]

That's good, man. That's good. All right, let's have a good. Did we already buzz it or.

[Eddie]

No, it's one of those drugs, man. You don't even want to sleep.

[Lunchbox]

You just sweat. Well, that sounds like something fun. Let me try that. No, thanks.

[Eddie]

But I mean golf, though. He said he was getting amazing tee times. You're going at 6am nobody's even out there because you're on smack from the night before.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, those tee times are great. The one time I went, like, years ago, I went at like 7:00am and I pulled up at number eight, and it's kind of back in the woods. There's a homeless dude in his tent camped out on the freaking tee box. Swear to God.

[Eddie]

Making breakfast.

[Lunchbox]

No, he was. He was still asleep, dude. He was in his tent. Hey, brother, I'm like, oh, man, don't worry me. I'm just gonna tee off right next to, you know, I mean, that's where the tee box was set up. So where was. I couldn't.

[Eddie]

It was flat ground.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah. I didn't want to cheat and, like, move it up. I had to be even with the tee box. You know, you get minus. You get plus a stroke if you don't put it up in between those little markers.

[Eddie]

He still had the embers, the stakes in the tent. He was getting it all cleaned up.

[Lunchbox]

He had a legit tent set up on the freaking tee box. I mean, how crazy is that?

[Eddie]

That's a violation.

[Lunchbox]

Hey, do I. Clubhouse. Is this guy. Oh, he's just a marshal. Okay, cool, man.

[Eddie]

Hey, brother, how'd you shoot?

[Lunchbox]

Well, what happened to your drive on eight? Well, I mean, the homeless guy started, you know, moving around in his tent. Kind of threw me off. Scared me a little bit. All right, man. Just ended. I gotta go, man. I'm tired. That was a good one.

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[Eddie]

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[Lunchbox]

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