SORE LOSERS: Is the Pasta Approachable?

Summary

The Bobby Bones Show: SORE LOSERS – Is the Pasta Approachable?

Episode Date: February 13, 2026
Hosts: Lunchbox & Ben
Episode highlights and memorable moments from the Sore Losers daily replay.

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Episode Overview

In this lively, banter-filled episode, Lunchbox and Ben catch up on a whirlwind weekend featuring family antics, car trouble, youth basketball, a high-stakes (but not free) reading challenge event at Vanderbilt, and—most memorably—a deeply “approachable” fine-dining experience that inspires both confusion and comedy. The episode’s main focus is the art of eating out: from QR codes versus paper menus to a waiter’s over-the-top food descriptions, and the existential question—can pasta truly be approachable? Listeners are treated to stories about parenting, sports, and the never-ending quest to avoid being fleeced at every turn.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Home Life & Old School Pranks

Timestamps: [02:09]–[06:46]

• Ben and Lunchbox reminisce about classic childhood jokes their kids still play at home—like "spell I C U P" and "underwear" gags.
  • Ben: “That was earlier this week and late last week and now it has shifted to…Hey, do you know how to spell I? Cup. Boom. Got him.” [04:24]
• Lunchbox reflects on how the jokes circulate from school halls right back to his living room.
• Notable: Both play into the innocent fun but admit it drives their wives a little nuts.

2. Tire Trouble & The Lost Art of the Hookup

Timestamps: [06:46]–[16:45]

• Lunchbox thanks Ben for accommodating podcast scheduling around his balding tire emergency.
• They trade stories about past “tire hookups,” where friends in the auto business would sneak them deals.
  • Ben: “I had a tire hookup for years…He would slide them right out the door because he knew where there's the excess tires.” [11:36]
• Lunchbox details the American dilemma: "Am I gonna get it towed?…Am I gonna drive on it with the potential of one of them blowing?" [14:34–14:40]
• Discussion veers into the pride and dangers of driving old, beat-up vehicles (and how far you’ll go to save on a tow bill).

3. The Fine-Dining Saga: Is the Pasta Approachable?

Timestamps: [22:53]–[35:07]

• With the kids at school overnight, Ben and his wife head to a fancy restaurant.
• They rail against QR code menus, discussing their love for tactile, paper menus:
  • Ben: “I would rather have a menu in my hands.” [24:51]
  • Lunchbox: “If they don’t give me the menu…I’m not QR coding it. Just get me something.” [25:07]
• The waiter describes dishes with hyperbole—claiming the sea urchin (“uni”) will "change your life" and pesto pasta is "approachable."
  • Ben: “He tells me, oh, that right there. That will change your life. I’m like, really? That item on your menu is going to change my life?” [26:06]
  • Ben: “He goes…I gotta say, it's very approachable. This guy’s serious.” [27:19]
  • Lunchbox: “What are you, Michelin man?” [28:04]
• Both hosts dissect the absurdity of describing food as "approachable":
  • “The pasta has a very open mind. It is very approachable. It’s open to new people.” – Ben [28:29]
  • “Sir, you are now free to approach the pasta.” – Lunchbox [28:23]
• They banter about whether the waiter’s approach is genuine, condescending, or just trying to flirt.
• The tiramisu is also promised to "change your life"—by this point, Ben is skeptical.
• Notable quote:
  • Ben's wife cautions: “You’re gonna make fun of him for saying approachable?” Ben: “Absolutely.” [28:40]

4. Overly Accommodating Waitstaff & Restaurant Satire

Timestamps: [32:55]–[35:07]

• After the meal, the waiter showers them with effusive praise:
  • “You guys killed it…set the tone for a magnificent evening for me. Thank you for bringing that kind of energy.” – The Waiter (as recounted by Ben) [33:00–33:29]
• Ben and his wife leave bemused, with Ben deadpanning:
  • "As we get in the car, I said, what the f did he mean, approachable?" [34:56]
• Lunchbox: "That dude wanted your wife." [35:07]

5. Kids’ Basketball & Extreme Gym Rules

Timestamps: [39:07]–[44:02]

• Ben chronicles the logistics of youth sports: overlapping games, race across gyms, and a stern scorer’s table official banning pre-game dribbling:
  • Ben: “No bouncing the basketballs. In the gym.” [41:03]
  • Lunchbox: “I’m never having kids. See, I would never run into this.” [41:06]
• Celebrated: Baby Box 2 scores four baskets and gets tackled thrice—“Pretty physical…but we won the game.” [42:29]

6. Mr. C’s Reading Challenge: How ‘Free’ Became a $258 Outing

Timestamps: [44:02]–[66:38]

• The promised free Vanderbilt tickets turn out to cost $160 for the family, $40 for parking ("discount for future students? That’ll be $40." [45:00]), $58 for water, $14 for three chicken tenders, and more. Spirals into a family expense.
• The disappointing economics of “free” family events, with plenty of sarcastic asides.
• Arena navigation woes: Narrow hallways, out-of-reach bathrooms, and accidentally sitting in the band’s seats.
  • “As you get older, you want backs on your seat. Guys, I’m just telling you, it’s just more comfortable.” – Ben [51:27]
• Ben’s son determinedly searches every arena section for his teacher after seeing her on the Jumbotron.
• Extended riff on unappetizing stadium “tendies” and the pain of paying $14 for a tiny serving.
• The family’s Jumbotron selfie never appears, much to the kids’ chagrin.

7. Dramatic Basketball Comeback…That Wasn’t

Timestamps: [57:44]–[65:17]

• Ben floats the idea of leaving the blowout early, but his kids are adamant about staying (“Dad, I earned these tickets!”), leading to a comical parent-child standoff.
• With the arena nearly empty and just minutes left, Vandy nearly completes a massive comeback, energizing his son—who is red-faced and cheering.
  • “Me harassing my kid, saying we should leave early. And it turns out the game actually got pretty good.” [64:08]
• In the end, Vanderbilt loses by one. Ben: “We lost $256.” [64:57]

8. Pom-Poms at the Grocery Store

Timestamps: [65:19]–[66:38]

• The kids bring home souvenir pom-poms, using them to play pranks and amuse themselves in the grocery store.
• Ben holds them “like I was directing planes through the airport.” [66:00]
• Lunchbox: “You got to bring those to the big show…Direct people in the studio.” [66:08]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On “Approachable” Pasta

  • "What the hell do you mean, approachable?” – Ben [28:09]
  • “Sir, you are now free to approach the pasta.” – Lunchbox [28:23]

• On Waiters Overselling

  • “That item on your menu is going to change my life?” – Ben [26:25]
  • “That dude wanted your wife.” – Lunchbox [35:07]

• On Never-Ending Costs at ‘Free’ Events

  • “So now we are $258 into this freaking event that was supposed to be free.” – Ben [48:50]
  • “What was he wearing, snake oil and a briefcase?” – Lunchbox [59:33]

• On Parenthood & Small Victories

  • “He was red in the face…I felt bad telling him we should leave early—he’s saying, 'Let’s go, Vanny!'” – Ben [64:08]

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Important Segment Timestamps

• [22:53] – Date-night restaurant story begins: QR codes, menus, and pasta musings
• [28:04] – "Approachable" pasta conversation
• [32:55] – Waiter effusively praises their table
• [44:02] – Beginning of the Vanderbilt/Mr. C’s Reading Challenge saga
• [57:44] – Vanderbilt’s wild basketball comeback sequence

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Overall Tone & Takeaways

Bantering, sarcastic, observational, and packed with quick-fire asides. Lunchbox and Ben skewer pretentious food culture, poke fun at family logistics, and expose the hidden costs of modern “free” experiences. Beneath the sarcasm is a heart for family adventures, the nostalgia of old friendships, and the realization that sometimes, even when you lose by one, you still have to find the joy (and the humor) in the mess.

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Summary Useful For:

• Anyone seeking relatable comedy about family, dining, and sports parenting
• Those who love food culture takedowns (especially of hipster waiters)
• Listeners who want a blow-by-blow of surviving the maze of youth sports and “free” events
• Fans of Sore Losers who missed the episode and want all the best lines and storytelling

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(Advertisements, show promos, and sponsor reads have been omitted for clarity and focus.)

Transcript

[Ben]

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[Ben]

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Come on baby, get with the times.

Right. So we shouldn't get the parachute pants. These are making a comeback, I think.

[Lunchbox]

Discover is accepted at 99 of places that take credit cards nationwide, based on the February 2025 Nielsen report.

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[Ben]

Thank you for turning on my microphone. I appreciate it. How's it feel?

[Lunchbox]

Just feel a little naked. Just trying to do the video and the audio at the same time. Just making sure that that's exactly how I did it last time when it worked.

[Ben]

I mean I think it looks great. You're going no headphones again. You're back to this no headphones game that drives me nuts. You're starting to remind me of Darren Peterson. I'm going to bring my headphones in the studio and then not wear them. I'm going to warm up pregame, but then I'm not going to play. But Kansas didn't freaking need them. We took down number one, Arizona. I didn't get to watch it, so I don't have much to say. But rock Chalk, J. Hawk. At the end of the year, I was ready to jump off the ship. I thought Bill Self has lost it, but he has put this core together and we are starting to march our way to the madness called NCAA tournament. And we are hotter than a firecracker.

[Lunchbox]

Whoa, pause. What I did want to say is your Peterson guy with this load management, it's got to stop.

[Ben]

You've got to stop with your arms inside your shirt.

[Lunchbox]

Can't do it. Won't do it.

[Ben]

Like you look like. What are you doing? Hey, do you remember that joke where you used to put your sleeves, your arms and your other sleeves and wrap them around and tickle your back like you're making out with someone? Do you remember that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember that joke. That was funny.

[Lunchbox]

You remember when the guys would snap the girl's bras?

[Ben]

I do remember that.

[Lunchbox]

I never could.

[Ben]

Oh.

[Lunchbox]

Never wanted to get in trouble.

[Ben]

Do you remember when you would get with someone in the corner and you put your hand over their mouth like you're making out and people.

[Lunchbox]

Whoa. With a dude.

[Ben]

No. Hey, Jim, come here.

[Lunchbox]

Hey, Marco, come here. We just faked them. Now they all think we kiss. That ain't funny.

[Ben]

No, no, that's not what I was talking about. But my kids are on the one of. Hey, spell I cup.

[Lunchbox]

Icup.

[Ben]

Oh. Oh, you said icup. That's the new one. I mean, it was. Hey, there's something under there.

[Lunchbox]

Underwear.

[Ben]

Oh, you said underwear. That's what I'm saying. That was. That was earlier this week and late last week and now it has shifted to. Hey, do you know how to spell I? Cup. Boom. Got him.

[Lunchbox]

So it's in the. In the halls at school is where they're hearing this. Then they're bringing it to the house.

[Ben]

Bringing it to the house also. What's your name?

[Lunchbox]

Um, Lunchbox.

[Ben]

No, what's your name?

[Lunchbox]

Gibbles.

[Ben]

No, what's your name?

[Lunchbox]

Dad.

[Ben]

No, your name. What's your name?

[Lunchbox]

Ray.

[Ben]

What's this?

[Lunchbox]

Knows.

[Ben]

What am I holding Book. What am I holding?

[Lunchbox]

Nothing.

[Ben]

Ray knows nothing. We do that all day long.

[Lunchbox]

That's good. I'm glad it's evolved from six, seven.

[Ben]

Hey.

[Lunchbox]

Four, one.

[Ben]

What's your name? Ray. What's the color of the sky?

[Lunchbox]

Nashville? Gray.

[Ben]

No, what's the color of the sky?

[Lunchbox]

Blue.

[Ben]

What's the opposite of down?

[Lunchbox]

Not finishing it. Pause.

[Ben]

No, no. What's the opposite of down?

[Lunchbox]

Blue job.

[Ben]

What's the opposite of down?

[Lunchbox]

Up.

[Ben]

Ray blew up.

[Lunchbox]

Okay?

[Ben]

We do that non freaking stop. Non freaking stop.

[Lunchbox]

Does the wife play along?

[Ben]

Sometimes she gets annoyed.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, it was fun once.

[Ben]

Oh, dude, if. And then if one kid does it, guess what? The other kid has to do it. And then the third kid has to do it.

[Lunchbox]

And the other kids don't even know English, do they?

[Ben]

No, they do. I mean, the 1 is 4, 5, and 7, they all know how to talk, right?

[Lunchbox]

They got them learning Spanish now.

[Ben]

I mean, my 4 year old and 5 year old don't stop talking. Don't know where they get it from. They just non stop.

[Lunchbox]

No idea where they get it from. Got unfollowed the other day. A lady said that I mentioned oan too many times she hit the unfollow.

[Ben]

Button for the sore losers.

[Lunchbox]

I don't know. And I said, dorothy, sorry to see you go. Don't let the door hitch on the way out.

[Ben]

That's a good way to respond to our sore losers nation. That's good.

[Lunchbox]

I'm pretty sure she was like, wow. He actually responded, maybe I won't unfollow. Maybe.

[Ben]

That's pretty cool. Yeah. So, yeah, that's what's going on in my house, man. We just do that over and over and over again. It's just all day long. But I have so much to talk about.

[Lunchbox]

Well, I wanted to thank you.

[Ben]

So is what's on the menu what's on the menu?

[Lunchbox]

I would like to thank you for something.

[Ben]

Okay.

[Lunchbox]

You have got so much to talk to us about.

[Ben]

Crap. I forgot to bring Morgan her bag. I'm going to bring it tomorrow.

[Lunchbox]

So there's a menu. We are loaded. This is a big one. A Whopper, if you will.

[Ben]

Yeah. Would you like to, you know, like, say thank you to me? I don't know what it is.

[Lunchbox]

It's a tease. So that's just what's. What's on the menu?

[Ben]

So do you want to tell me now or do you want to just like wait for a little bit?

[Lunchbox]

It's on the menu. We don't have to eat it all right now.

[Ben]

I mean, Is it an appetizer? Is it a main course? Is it a dessert? What is it?

[Lunchbox]

Probably an app. We could intro the show and then jump to it.

[Ben]

I love it.

[Lunchbox]

I'll take a water, a coke, and whatever you want to thank me for. All right, we're gonna do it live. We?

[Ben]

Oh, the.

[Lunchbox]

One, two, three.

[Ben]

Soar, Loser. What up, everybody? I am Lunchbox. I know the most about sports. I'll give you the sports facts, my sports opinions, because I'm pretty much a sports genius, y'.

[Tara Davis Woodhull]

All.

[Lunchbox]

It is Sizzin. I'm from the north. I'm an alpha male. I live on the north side of Nashville. Now we've moved around. We're downtown, west side, now north. We got 2.333 acres. Me and my wife, we live in the country. We got two kids at Vanderbilt. They're probably defrosting now that it's 70 degrees. Justin needs to check on him, but he's in rehab. He is on New Beginnings Avenue in Michigan. That's it. Over to you, but then back over to me. Well done, because I got something for you.

[Ben]

Thank you.

[Lunchbox]

So, I. This is very simple. I didn't even think it was going to be an A block, but I just wanted to say, for being accommodating, I told you I have a tire issue.

[Ben]

And.

[Lunchbox]

And vehicle wise, we're playing a little bit musical chairs, if you will. Musical vehicles.

[Ben]

I totally understand.

[Lunchbox]

And I said, hey, can you. Can we do a little moving around to the podcast? And you accommodated.

[Ben]

Can you explain to me what is wrong with your tire?

[Lunchbox]

No idea. It's just balding, so it's like it rubs against the side of my vehicle. So three tires are perfect. One of them all the way down to the inner tube. Is it just going to blow on the interstate? Great, I just got blown.

[Ben]

Here's the problem. You have a huge tire on the roof of your truck.

[Lunchbox]

No, that's just a rack.

[Ben]

There's not a tire up in there?

[Lunchbox]

No, that's just rack city.

[Ben]

Is there a tire on the back?

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, but it doesn't match up with any of the others. I'll be all caddy whomp.

[Ben]

What do you mean it doesn't match?

[Lunchbox]

The other ones are like mud tires. And now just a normal one. Probably throw off my entire vehicle.

[Ben]

So how much you think in this tire is gonna cost?

[Lunchbox]

I already got it. My guy hooked it up. Four of them for five.

[Ben]

Wait, wait, wait. You're getting. You only have one bad tire, so why are you getting four tires?

[Lunchbox]

The others are pretty Worn, too. But this one, for whatever reason, whenever my baby hits the interstate, it goes hard left. And it just wears and wears and wears until one day I looked at. I said, boy, that's missing tread. Oh, whoa. That's a little bit of an inner tube sticking out.

[Ben]

Whoa, That's a wire.

[Lunchbox]

I've been driving Baldy on I65 80 miles an hour for the past two months.

[Ben]

That's not good because I always see those blown tires on the side of the road, and I'm like, man, how scary is that?

[Lunchbox]

So, okay, I'm actually glad you said that, because semis do that. They don't die. So I'm thinking, if I drive this vehicle and it blows, am I going to die? So that actually answers my question.

[Ben]

Oh, you're not a semi, though. They have 18 wheels. They have plenty of spares. You are down to three, and you go, does it go straight axle or does it slowly or does the whole thing just block?

[Lunchbox]

No, it's good, but I'm just saying, it's so bare. It's one of those basketballs we play with as a kid that has no more tread on it. It's a bare ball. There's no grip. It's no more ribbed.

[Ben]

No, no, I understand what you're saying. I am asking you. But if your tire does blew on the interstate, does it just shoot off or is it like it comes off and so you'll have tire left, no big deal. Or does it go straight to the axle?

[Lunchbox]

Finna find out. But what I'm going to do is I'm going to go on the interstate, 30 miles an hour to work.

[Ben]

Well, I don't want that. That is why I am here for you. I don't want you to be in danger. And I'm glad you're getting four new tires now. Are you getting the big mud tires? You just getting normal tires now?

[Lunchbox]

I don't know. My guy quoted me. But I'm not asking questions.

[Ben]

If you're getting four for five. Yeah, I'm pretty sure you're not getting the mud tires.

[Lunchbox]

Might be a hookup.

[Ben]

I have.

[Lunchbox]

I have no idea. But all I know is I said, baser. This is actually a code red. I need to take your vehicle and. But you were accommodating. Thank you very much.

[Ben]

You know what?

[Lunchbox]

Thank you very much.

[Ben]

It used to be great when I had a tire hookup. I had a tire hookup for years when I was in college. My buddy David Yu, he's out of El Paso, Texas. One of his Fraternity brothers worked at a store that I think is no longer in business called Sears. And he would tell you, hey, man, just pull up at the back door. Right?

[Lunchbox]

You know what they say.

[Ben]

Sears are for deers. So I would pull up at the back door, hand him 300. Whoa. He'd put four tires in the car. You drive off, and you got to go pay someone to put them on, like a little shop. But, dude, he would slide them right.

[Lunchbox]

Out the door because he knew where there's the excess tires.

[Ben]

And he knew, like, when they were coming into the warehouse or whatever, know, automotive department of Sears, he would just act like four tires didn't get there.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah. And also here we get extra merch. We could give people merch easily. Everybody knows that their job, where there's loose ends, if you will, some fat on the cutting room floor, all of that.

[Ben]

Yeah. And then over at a Discount Tire, man, I had, like, three dudes. Three dudes at Discount Tire. Josh Martin, which, speaking of, Josh played on my soccer team growing up. Like, we. We played soccer together from the age of, like, 13.

[Lunchbox]

Maybe you guys played footsie?

[Ben]

No. And we. We got him on our team. He had a Mohawk. And Henry. Rest. Rest in peace. Henry was like, we need to get that guy on just for some toughness.

[Lunchbox]

He's no longer with us now.

[Ben]

Henry passed about a year ago. When we are.

[Lunchbox]

When we are telling these stories now, and some of them include. They're no longer with us, that's when we know we're getting older.

[Ben]

Yeah, that's. That's what's rough. That's. That's. That's a tough thing to do. But I was going through my phone the other day because it was saying I was out of storage, and I came to some text messages from Josh. Yes. And I was like, man, I haven't heard from Martin in a while. So I hit him up. I was like, yo, Josh, how you been? And I got a reply. Not Josh's phone number.

[Lunchbox]

I am a drug dealer.

[Ben]

So I'm like, oh. So I don't know what happened to Martin, man. I haven't heard from him. I hope he's okay. Yeah, it was just weird. But anyway, back to my story. Yes.

[Lunchbox]

So Josh left your own story.

[Ben]

So Josh worked at Discount Tire.

[Lunchbox]

I was so rudely interrupted by myself.

[Ben]

And I met his. When he worked there. He had a dude named Justin that worked with him. They would hook me up. And then there was another guy that Our old intern, her brother worked at Discount Tire. I think he's a Paramedic now, but he would hook it up with tires. Like when I was moving to Nashville, you told me I stopped by discount tire right there on i35 and got tires.

[Lunchbox]

You hit me up before I left town. You go, do you need tires? And I said, no. What are you talking about? You go, I got a tire hookup if you want it. And I go, aren't we just going from Texas to Tennessee? What do you mean, new tires? I'm not like breaking ground in the Oregon trail and you're like, I've got a hookup if you need tires.

[Ben]

Believe his name was Chad Smith, if that was correct. But yeah, I had tire hookups, man. It was the greatest thing ever. And so now I'm glad you have a tire hookup.

[Lunchbox]

I got a tire guy because I.

[Ben]

Don'T have a tire guy anymore.

[Lunchbox]

I go have lunch with him, we wine and dine, he gets me out four for five.

[Ben]

That's pretty good.

[Lunchbox]

So I'm excited, but props to me for noticing it, man. I mean, but. But then it's the American way. Am I going to get it towed?

[Ben]

No, no. That would cost money.

[Lunchbox]

Am I going to drive on it with the potential of one of them blowing?

[Ben]

Yes. Well, you really only have the potential of one to blow.

[Lunchbox]

Right. But I'm saying if it blows and it blows me so hard, I get injured.

[Ben]

It's like the car roll when you blow. That's what I'm.

[Lunchbox]

You said semis. So now I think semis are usually upright. The tire just blows. It's not like it's a bomb. This has been going through my head. You're helping me actually understand this.

[Ben]

Please talk to me about what goes through your head.

[Lunchbox]

So if this tire was to explode, is it like a bomb or is it just an immediate, oh, no, there goes my tire. I get off the road, let's get it towed. I think I can get away with it for 45 minutes driving down a road 30 miles an hour, get it to where it needs to go, risking at the risk of it blowing and getting injured. But I mean, oh, man, I injured my foot. I was trying to save a 200 tow job.

[Ben]

Yeah, I don't think you have to worry about it. I don't think you need to go 30. I would like to then go 30. Dude, you. Do you. I just want you to feel safe because we need you here to do the pod tomorrow.

[Lunchbox]

But hey, that same car that you were offering tires to in Texas is the same car I drive today. Yeah, that's how loyal. I am 20 years.

[Ben]

Wow. Yeah. The Ultima, you know, the one that. That was the car that had the tires in. In Austin. Now just sits in front of my house and doesn't do anything. It just sits there and grows weeds. Yeah.

[Lunchbox]

There is something about keeping old cars. We used to joke back at Mike Miller's place because Mike Miller would always have the BMWs and the Escalades. And then I had the same vehicle, the Trailblazer, and Billy had, I want to say a newer Acura, but it wasn't. It was like. It was gold. I mean, it was nice, but his was. He. We called it the Pop up and then we called mine the rv because it just looked like we were a couple homeless people pulling into Mike Miller's every weekend. But now Billy's onto Porsches and all kinds of things and jet Skis and Motorboat and all that.

[Ben]

But I'd motorbait Motorboat also.

[Lunchbox]

I am still in the Trailblazer from the days where he would drive the Pop up and we'd go to the. Every weekend to the RV park, which was actually a really nice condo complex in Austin.

[Ben]

That's pretty cool because, like, I mean, Chest Day's dad had this old beat up truck when we were younger and he got in a wreck and he was trying to get it to like. Because he was a surveyor. And so he was. He drove all over.

[Lunchbox]

Whoa. Did the tire blow?

[Ben]

No. And I think he was trying to get it to 500,000. I don't. Maybe I made that mileage up. That could be just an absolute. Maybe it's 300,000. I don't know what it was.

[Lunchbox]

Maybe. Might have been how many women he'd slept with.

[Ben]

But he got in a wreck, Ray.

[Lunchbox]

That number was significantly lower.

[Ben]

They got in a wreck and they wanted to total his car, the truck. They were going to give him 400 bucks for it. And he said, no, thank you. He brought it home and the front of it, we got a crowbar and started pulling the metal out so he could still drive it because he was.

[Lunchbox]

Only going to give the four.

[Ben]

He was only going to get the four. And he was like, man, I'm trying to get to a certain 100,000 miles, dude.

[Lunchbox]

The thing that I'm not getting is you kept driving your vehicle after it was totaled.

[Ben]

Yeah. You can still drive them.

[Lunchbox]

Right.

[Ben]

But I mean, not safe, though.

[Lunchbox]

I think that's what it is in retrospect. Should you have just never turned it in?

[Ben]

No, I should have. Oh. Because I mean, like, I could feel the wind coming in the back of the vehicle.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, check the rear view mirror.

[Ben]

Rear view mirror was still good, but the back hatch was so dented in that there was a space between the bumper and the back hatch. So wind would.

[Lunchbox]

Could you have gotten the check without handing over the car?

[Ben]

You can get like $10,000 less than they were offering you. Like you could take the wrecked car and get $15,000 or you can get $25,000.

[Lunchbox]

I would have done wrecked car and got the $15,000 check.

[Ben]

Well, I don't know if it was safe to drive.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, that's right. You had a family. My bad.

[Ben]

Yeah. Yeah. And we'll take a break. And speaking of my family, I got some stories about them right after this.

[Lunchbox]

This month, iHeartRadio is celebrating the stars of the 2026 winter game. St. Paul, Minnesota is curling country and Tabitha Peterson is its strategic mastermind. As the skip of the women's squad, she's known for her calm demeanor and clutch shot making under extreme pressure. After leading her team to win world championship medals, she returns to Olympic ice with unfinished business. Peterson's experience gives the Americans a fighting chance against the world's best, and she's ready to sweep her way to the podium for more Winter Games gold. Search olympics on the iHeartRadio app.

[Hunter Woodhull]

Hello, Malcolm Glau here. We're here in New York City with T Mobile for Business recording another episode of Revisionist history about how 5G network slicing strengthens trust and connections across world worldwide industries.

[Malcolm Glauble]

Slicing can be used for so many different things. We're here with our friends from CNN from Siemens Energy. The ways that it can be used, frankly are limitless and are really, really built to think through. How can T Mobile understand the pain points that our customers have? Smash those pain points and help you deliver very specific outcomes.

[Ad Read Host]

Support for the show comes from public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On public. You can build a mult asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index. With AI, it all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year. You can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors, llc SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures available at public.com disclosures hey.

[Tara Davis Woodhull]

This is US Olympic gold medalist Tara.

[Hunter Woodhull]

Davis Woodhull and I'm US Paralympic gold medalist Hunter Woodhull.

[Tara Davis Woodhull]

As athletes, our lives are about having.

[Hunter Woodhull]

A clear path and a team that you can absolutely trust.

[Tara Davis Woodhull]

So when it came to getting the.

[Hunter Woodhull]

Best mortgage, we chose PennyMac.

[Tara Davis Woodhull]

PennyMac is proud to be the official mortgage provider of Team USA and you.

[Ad Voice]

Learn more at pennymac.com PennyMac Loan Services, LLC equal housing lender NMLS ID 35953 licensed by the Department of Financial Protection and Innovation under the California Residential Mortgage Lending Act. Conditions and restrictions may apply.

[Ad Voice 2]

In the heat of battle, your squad relies on you. Don't let them down. Unlock elite gaming [e-mail] Dominate every match with next level speed, seamless streaming and performance that won't quit. Push your gameplay beyond performance with Intel Core Ultra processors for the next era of gaming. Upgrade to smooth highquality streaming with Intel Wi Fi 6e and maximize game performance with enhanced overclocking. Win the tech search power [e-mail].

[Lunchbox]

Racer that blown out tire that's nothing to mess with. I got a tire guy. Dude, will you ask some of your tire people?

[Ben]

I will. If I could text Josh I would man.

[Lunchbox]

The one wrong number guys say hey well do you got a Google? What do you think? Can my buddy drive on a bad tire?

[Ben]

Well Josh used to work at discount tires so that's why I was hitting him up. I was wondering could you answer my question about tires?

[Lunchbox]

All the technological advances and they don't just kill our numbers off. Like you could still text like this other person that used to have my number, this Lansing number. I get texts from her all the time. Hey you owe mortgage. I'm like wrong person. I don't live in Michigan.

[Ben]

So weird right?

[Lunchbox]

And so people that have my old number, my friends will text them. So those numbers just never die off. They have to stay in the system. Weird.

[Ben]

That is strange. Like once that person gets rid of that number, it should delete from your phone.

[Lunchbox]

It doesn't because I get it from all the time. This lady in East Lansing. She owed a back pay on mortgages. She owed whatever. One of those rent things are where you get a storage locker that she never paid for. There's all this crap she owes and she gets texts all the time about it.

[Ben]

Huh, that is weird. But anyway, so this weekend, man, Friday night, kids, school was like, hey, we will take your kids and keep them here till 8:30 for free. I said, awesome. Told the wife, I said, we are going out to dinner. We are going to a restaurant where we don't have to worry about screaming kids. We don't have to worry about spilled milk. We can just sit there, relax, eat some nice food.

[Lunchbox]

Cookout on West End.

[Ben]

No, not cookout. Not now. We wanted a waiter experience. Waiter, waitress.

[Lunchbox]

Sometimes they'll come and get the trash off the table.

[Ben]

That's pretty good. But they don't come and take your order. You got to go to them to give your order. So we walk into this place and I'm like, heck yeah. We show up in the lady's like, can I pour you a welcome cocktail? I'm like, sure, I'm gonna need the address. Oh, yeah. And she was like, we have our homemade apple cider with some spicy something. Blah, blah, blah. Yeah, sounds great. She puts it in a little cup. Cheers. We drink.

[Lunchbox]

Was she hot?

[Ben]

She was all right. I wouldn't say not, but I wouldn't say hot. She's all right.

[Lunchbox]

Male or female?

[Ben]

When it's a she, it's a female.

[Lunchbox]

Okay.

[Ben]

And so we go, they take us out and we sit on the little patios, freezing cold, but they had heaters, so it's awesome. Great. We had the whole patio to ourself. No one else out there. I think we were one of those last minute reservations, you know, where everything else was booked up. So we were outside.

[Lunchbox]

Got it.

[Ben]

Yeah. Because we booked it on like Thursday. And so we sit down, we are looking at the menu. The waiter comes over and gives me this spiel about how everything works. There's this, there's that. You want to order this, you want to order that, you want to try this, you want to try that? That's. That's how you get the most bang for your buck.

[Lunchbox]

QR code. Covid times.

[Ben]

No, he handled us a real menu.

[Lunchbox]

Always got to love that. Oh, you just pull out your phone and QR code it.

[Ben]

I'm.

[Lunchbox]

I'm old school. Give me a menu. I want to touch it. I want to touch some grass.

[Ben]

Can I tell you, I would rather have a menu in my hands?

[Lunchbox]

QR code yeah, let me. Let me. What do I do? Put the flashlight on.

[Ben]

Hey, hey. Like, I get it during COVID times, like, you want to do the QR code, but now that we're back, let's hand people the menu. I want to hold the menu.

[Lunchbox]

Not to take from your story. I refuse to. If they don't give me the menu. Bazer, what should I get? I'm not pulling up on my phone. She picks out my food for me. Do you have espresso martini? Give me something close to that. Right, right. I'm not going to key in my QR code. I don't do that. Do you guys have, like, a bread as an app? Oh, yeah, we'll do that. Cool. Oh, I don't. Is it on the menu? I don't know. I didn't look at it. I'm not QR coding it. Just get me something.

[Ben]

Yeah, I mean, we have a problem in this society about being on our phones too much. And then I'm at a restaurant, and I'm supposed to conversate with the people at the table. If it's my wife, if it's a group of friends, whatever it is, and you want me to pull out my phone and look up your menu. That's the exact opposite of what I want to do.

[Lunchbox]

And it's not pulling up right away.

[Ben]

Oh, it's.

[Lunchbox]

It's loading.

[Ben]

I'm sorry. No reception, man. Like, you guys got WI fi. Like, what's going on, guys?

[Lunchbox]

Got anything crazy? What's on the menu? You should just, like, tell us. Wait for it to load a little bit. Water on the menu or gonna QR code it?

[Ben]

Can I borrow your phone? What? I need to scan the QR code. No, I'm the waiter. I don't give a damn. Give me your phone. Anyway, he starts going over some of the stuff, and he tells me, oh, that right there. That will change your life. I'm like, really? That item on your menu is going to change my life?

[Lunchbox]

I know what it was.

[Ben]

Go ahead.

[Lunchbox]

Sex on the beach.

[Ben]

No. And I was like, okay, I'll take some of that. Give me some of that. And he brings it out. Take a bite. My wife's like, what do you think? I said, oh, it's good. She goes, does it change your life? Nope. Now my life is still the same. I tasted something decent, but my life is no way changed.

[Lunchbox]

Yelp it.

[Ben]

It's not something that it's going to, like, six months for now I'm going to be like, oh, my God. Remember when I Had that. And it changed my life. Not in. All right, cool. So let me, you know, bring out some other items we eat and then.

[Lunchbox]

Got any whipped cream? It is near Valentine's Day.

[Ben]

This one pasta comes out. It's like a pesto pasta.

[Lunchbox]

Did you go to Italy?

[Ben]

No. And take a few bites, you know what I mean? That's pretty good. Comes back over, he's like, what do you think of the pasta?

[Lunchbox]

Well, who is this guy? A sommelier?

[Ben]

Thank you.

[Lunchbox]

Get lost.

[Ben]

This is no. The way he was talking, dude, I.

[Lunchbox]

Would have killed the guy.

[Ben]

You're about to kill him. You're about to kill him.

[Lunchbox]

I don't know. I threw it in my mouth and ate it. What do you want? Give me another drink, barkeep.

[Ben]

And I'm like, all right, you know, whatever. He comes over and I'm eating some of the pasta. You know, it's pesto pasta, kind of. And he's like, what do you think? And my wife and I are both like, oh, it's pretty good. You know what I mean? Like, I like the, you know, the taste. Like, has a little bit of taste of walnut because it had some walnut in there or something. He goes, I know everybody, you know, can be a little intimidated by it when they read it on the menu, but I gotta say, it's very approachable. This guy's serious.

[Lunchbox]

What are you, Michelin man?

[Ben]

I'm like, what the hell do you mean, approachable?

[Lunchbox]

I approached it like, I have approached.

[Ben]

Like, I, I see this, I, I, I see this pasta, and you think I'm gonna be intimidated. I'm not gonna approach it. It's like, it's too standoffish.

[Lunchbox]

Like, sir, you are now free to approach the pasta.

[Ben]

Yeah, it is approachable. It has.

[Lunchbox]

All rise.

[Ben]

The pasta has a very open mind. It is very approachable. It's open to new people.

[Lunchbox]

The apostas has approacheth my moutheth.

[Ben]

And I'm just like. And he walks away. And my wife looks at me and she goes, don't, don't. And I'm like, what? She goes, you're gonna make fun of him for saying approachable? And I said, absolutely. I'm gonna make fun of him for saying approachable. What the hell does that mean? How is food approachable?

[Lunchbox]

I no longer want the address.

[Ben]

You don't want the address? So then we eat, you know, we finish up, and he's like, I'm just gonna drop by the dessert menu. You know what I mean? There's no pressure. There's no rush. I'm just going to tell you that we have this, this, and then we have this tiramisu. And oh, if you say you don't like tiramisu, this is totally different. It's made differently. And I'm going to tell you that tiramisu will change your life.

[Lunchbox]

I'm going to need that address again.

[Ben]

And once he said, I love tiramisu. Oh, do you?

[Lunchbox]

I'm back in.

[Ben]

I am not a tiramisu fan, but.

[Lunchbox]

Once he said, your wife put me in the fridge.

[Ben]

Once he said that it was going to change my life. You know what? I knew that I didn't need to order it because I already had something on the menu earlier that he said was going to change my life. And it didn't change my life. So his life and my life are completely different.

[Lunchbox]

What was the first thing? The eggs.

[Ben]

I don't.

[Lunchbox]

I totally didn't even hear the first thing.

[Ben]

It was something called sea urchin. I don't even know what that is.

[Lunchbox]

Okay, so sea urchin, pasta and tiramisu, those are the only three things you guys got?

[Ben]

No, we got other things. But he didn't say they would change my life. He didn't say that it was approachable. These are the three notable items that he said were going to change our perspective on the world.

[Lunchbox]

You ever heard of pizza burgers?

[Ben]

Yeah, we have, but we can do that with the kids. You can't go to like a sit down restaurant that has sea urchin. I don't even know. And he told me, yeah, it's the sea urchin that will change your life. And so he walked away. So I looked at the menu, dude, and I read it, I flipped it over, I told my wife, I said, I, I don't even see sea urchin on here. She looks at it, flips it over, and she didn't cc urchin on there.

[Lunchbox]

Off the menu. Pricing. That's why you got to go to my spot. Cookout, bro.

[Ben]

No.

[Lunchbox]

Hey, you guys are. Hey, man, what's up? I'll get you out right now. Yeah, just come on front. Yeah, I love that place. Oh, yeah, yeah, Just be a second one. All right, man.

[Ben]

Well, that's not how this guy talks.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, put some chili. Oh, you want me. Put some chili on top of that. Yeah, just do like the dog and then the chili dog.

[Ben]

Oh, and then he says, yeah, man. Yeah, there's this chili dog. It's real approachable.

[Lunchbox]

He doesn't hit you with that. He just goes, you can approach the drive through, man, I'll get you that right now.

[Ben]

And then. No, it's about to get, it's, you're, it's about to hit the fan. Ah.

[Lunchbox]

They talk like that because it's like 2am and they literally hate every drunk person in that line.

[Ben]

Oh, for sure, for sure. So I know I'm not ordering the tiramisu because that ain't gonna change my life. Just like the sea urchin. But anyway, when he came back, I was like, hey, man, I gotta be honest with you. I don't see sea urchin on your menu. And he goes, oh, no, no, it's over here. It's called uni, man. Well, then why didn't you tell me the ooni would change my life? Why did you say sea urchin? He goes, it's just another term for it.

[Lunchbox]

We call it ooni because it makes you go, ooh, neee. So get the hell away from my wife.

[Ben]

Sir, we order a piece of cheesecake. Cool. Eat the cheesecake. It was fine. Nothing great. Nothing amazing.

[Lunchbox]

Thought the tiramisu.

[Ben]

No, no, he wanted me to because it was going to change my life. That's two items on one menu that's going to change my life. I already had the first. Didn't change my life. No need to try the second. His taste buds are obviously different than my taste buds, and I wasn't going to check his taste buds out again. I already did it once. Not knowing it twice.

[Lunchbox]

It sounds like the type of guy that's coming around to your table and he's giving your wife a massage as he's talking to you.

[Ben]

He might have, I don't know, it was dark. Dark.

[Lunchbox]

Dimly lit.

[Ben]

Dimly lit for sure.

[Lunchbox]

There was a candle.

[Ben]

There was a candle. And so I'm like, all right, you know what?

[Lunchbox]

Hey, put your sea urchin away.

[Ben]

We ate the cheesecake. We're like, all right, man, we'll take the bill. Thank you. Brings it over and he goes, I'm just gonna leave this right here. There's no rush. There's no hurry. I appreciate the time you guys gave me tonight. He goes, and I gotta be honest, you guys killed it.

[Lunchbox]

Is this the most polite guy in America?

[Ben]

No, no, no. It's about to get better.

[Lunchbox]

You're complimenting me.

[Ben]

He was like, you guys killed it. You know, you, you, I, I, I, I brought different foods. You guys were open minded and.

[Lunchbox]

Whoa, pause. What do you mean open minded? Trying to hook up with my wife.

[Ben]

Unpause. And I'm like, okay. He's like, And I just got to say, you guys were my first table tonight. And you guys were incredible. You guys have set the tone for a magnificent evening for me. Thank you for bringing that kind of energy.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, my gosh, please shut up. Please tell this guy to shut up.

[Ben]

And I'm like, I'm never coming back here again.

[Lunchbox]

How did you even deal with that? Oh, hey, dude, I couldn't. I couldn't have. With a straight face, especially after a drink. I'd have been like, is this guy serious?

[Ben]

I thought he was just. I was like, is this for real? And like, there was one time. There was one time, right? He brings us out this one appetizer or something, I don't know. And he puts this. The silverware out there, puts a knife out there, and then he comes back when we're done, and I never even touched the knife. And he cleared the table, picked up the knife, and put down clean silverware. The exact same kind of knife. And I said, isn't that just the same exact knife? He goes, yeah, but my boss would kill me if I didn't give you a new one. I was like, I didn't even touch the old one, man. I haven't even touched it. A little bit of grease on it, but yeah, man. You guys, I really appreciate you guys bringing that energy. You guys really started my evening off great. A fantastic table, and have really just, like, invigorated the night and the rest of the table. So far it's been splendid, but it couldn't have been splendid without you guys starting out the evening the way you did.

[Lunchbox]

At this point, I'd have been like, you know what? We actually are in a rush there. There's. You said there's no rush. There is a rush. Our Uber just got here. See you later, man.

[Ben]

And that's when we walked out.

[Lunchbox]

We're going to cookout.

[Ben]

I looked at my wife, I got. As we get in the car, and I said, what the f did he mean? Approachable? I said, and we set the tone for the night. She goes, okay, that may have been a little over the top.

[Lunchbox]

That dude wanted your wife.

[Ben]

That was our Friday night, man.

[Lunchbox]

I know where you went.

[Ben]

You might know.

[Lunchbox]

Is it the melting pot place where they put. No, they put cocoa and stuff on marshmallows.

[Ben]

Nope, that wasn't it.

[Lunchbox]

They put cheese on bread.

[Ben]

Nope. We'll take a break. We'll be right back.

[Hunter Woodhull]

Hello. Malcolm Glabel here. We're here in New York City with T Mobile for business recording another episode of Revisionist history. About how 5G network slicing strengthens trust and connections across worldwide industries.

[Malcolm Glauble]

Slicing can be used for so many different things. We're here with our friends from CNN from Siemens Energy. The ways that it can be used, frankly are limitless and are really, really built to think through. How can T Mobile understand the pain points that our customers have? Smash those pain points and help you deliver very specific outcomes.

[Ad Read Host]

Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index with AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors llc, SEC Registered Advisor. Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures available at public.com disclosures hey.

[Tara Davis Woodhull]

This is US Olympic gold medalist Tara.

[Hunter Woodhull]

Davis Woodhull and I'm US Paralympic gold medalist Hunter Woodhull.

[Tara Davis Woodhull]

As athletes, our lives are about having.

[Hunter Woodhull]

A clear path and a team that you can absolutely trust.

[Tara Davis Woodhull]

So when it came to getting the.

[Hunter Woodhull]

Best mortgage, we chose PennyMac.

[Tara Davis Woodhull]

PennyMac is proud to be the official mortgage provider of Team USA and you.

[Ad Voice]

Learn more at pennymac.com PennyMac Loan Services LLC, Equal Housing Lender and MLS ID 35953 licensed by the Department of Financial Protection and Innovation under the California Residential Mortgage Lending Act. Conditions and restrictions may apply.

[Ad Voice 2]

In the heat of battle, your squad relies on you. Don't let them down. Unlock elite gaming [e-mail], dominate every match with level, speed, seamless streaming and performance that won't quit. Push your gameplay beyond performance with Intel Core Ultra processors for the next era of gaming. Upgrade to smooth high quality streaming with Intel Wi Fi 6e and maximize game performance with enhanced overclocking. Win the tech Search power [e-mail] lenovo Lenovo.

[Ben]

You've never been one to settle, stand down or stand still. You're a lifelong learner, energized by excellence. There's a fire inside you you can't ignore. You've got competition to outrun, momentum to build on, and your own high standards to meet. Stop now. Not a chance. At Capella University, we help you catch what you're chasing because you've always had the drive. Now go earn the degree. Capella University. What can't you do? Visit Capella Edu to learn more.

[Lunchbox]

That was good, man.

[Ben]

Dude. And then.

[Lunchbox]

But that just gave me a great idea.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Lunchbox]

There was an old place. I used to throw it back with the old lady, but it was in. In Bellevue. I don't want to drive all the way there.

[Ben]

Oh, man, not on that tire.

[Lunchbox]

It was a good.

[Ben]

They're not driving there on that tire. I'm just warning you, it was a good one to get there.

[Lunchbox]

That reminds me. That was a good spot. And I went for Valentine's Day.

[Ben]

What was it called, man?

[Lunchbox]

Sperry's. Yeah, but I'm never getting in. We had reservations weeks ahead of time.

[Ben]

Oh, well, anyway, so then Saturday comes along, man. It's time for basketball.

[Lunchbox]

Mr. C's basketball challenge.

[Ben]

We're not at Mr. C's reading challenge yet. We're not there yet. We're at the kids basketball game. So the two younger ones, Baby Box 2 and 3, are on the same team. They play at 1 o'. Clock. Baby Box 1 plays at 1:30. Separate gyms. So the Vandy game for Mr. C's reading challenge starts at 2:30. So we are going to be booking it. We got to be moving fast. No Dilly, no Dalley. So we drop off mom and baby box one at his game at 12:30, even though it's not till 1:30. And we drive over to the other gymnasium for the one o' clock showdown for the New Jersey Nets versus whoever we're playing. And we get there and there's like 10 minutes left in the game before ours. So the boys are dribbling their basketball around the gym and this guy gets up from the scores table, sprints across the gym. Hey, hey. No bouncing the basketballs. What? No bouncing basketballs in here. Last I looked, this is a basketball court. It's too distracting.

[Lunchbox]

For who?

[Ben]

The players. You mean the four or five and six year olds that are playing that don't even know we're in this gym? Yeah. No, no. No bouncing the basketballs. In the gym.

[Lunchbox]

I'm never having kids. See, I would never run into this.

[Ben]

I said, oh, hey guys, sorry. I know you're about to play a basketball game, but you're not allowed to bounce the basketballs in the basketball gym. Sorry.

[Lunchbox]

I'm sure that went over well.

[Ben]

Yeah, that, that lasted about 30 seconds. Dude got back to the table. And kids, what do they do? They forget things. They, they, they, they forget. Their mind gets distracted. They start leaking. They start doing bounce passes back and forth. And he stands up at the score stamp.

[Lunchbox]

There we go, Old Man River.

[Ben]

And I'm thinking, oh great, here he comes. He's going to sprint across. Instead he stands up and he gives the throat slash. No, no, no, no. I tap the kids. Hey guys, you got to quit. You got to quit. And they quit. And I was just like, wow, who knew dribbling basketballs in a gym will distract other people?

[Lunchbox]

Dribbling the basketball, correct. Just like golf, really.

[Ben]

Just going to screw with everybody. Cool. All right, no problem. We have the game and we get our first win of the season. Baby box two. Baby box two. With four baskets. What is he, Peterson and he, he did get tackled three times. Breakaways. He was going for the hoop and.

[Lunchbox]

Sounds like Pistons, hornets the other night.

[Ben]

And kids were just tackling him from behind. They didn't. The other team, they were, they thought they were on the gridiron. They were getting ready for Super Bowl Sunday. They didn't know what they were doing. They were pretty physical. But we won the game. So then we immediately get the car, drive over to the other gymnasium.

[Lunchbox]

That was the purpose of dropping them off 30 minutes before the game?

[Ben]

Yes. That way we could get over there before their game ended. So right when they're done, they can hop in the car and we can book it to Mr. C's reading challenge. So we get in the car and we baby box one. Lost the game. It's a mute, mute point. Doesn't really matter. And we're driving.

[Lunchbox]

Was your, your game of Vandy?

[Ben]

No, Mr. C's reading challenge was at Vandy.

[Lunchbox]

Get ready. They ask you for your Covid card every time when Justin goes there.

[Ben]

And so the game starts at 2:30. We get in the car at 208. Now my guys, we gotta go. We have got to move. No dilly, no dally. So we're, you know, swerving and you know, we took ways because we wanted to see if there was any back way. We didn't want to hit traffic.

[Lunchbox]

I mean, yeah, it's only Nashville. You Know every back road, but.

[Ben]

Yeah, well, you don't know which way the traffic is going to be coming for the big game. Vandy versus Oklahoma Ray.

[Lunchbox]

We tried to make it through the sorority row. Quite the shortcut I found. Yeah, ladies, love what you're doing for the campus.

[Ben]

So Mr. C's reading challenge had already promised me free tickets. Free tickets for my kids reading 300 minutes in the month of January. And ended up there were no free tickets, and we paid $160. Okay, cool. So we're $160 in, and we hadn't even got there yet. And we pull up to the parking garage, and it says, $40 to park. $40 to park for a Vandy basketball game. My God. And I'm like, well, now we're 200 in and we haven't stepped foot in the arena.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, that's where they're going to get you. It's called fleecing.

[Ben]

Oh. And I pull up and I roll down the window. The lady's like, that'll be $40. And she go. I go, discount for future students.

[Lunchbox]

Genius.

[Ben]

And this was her reaction. That'll be $40.

[Lunchbox]

Blows right through it.

[Ben]

All right, cool. Hand her the credit card. She taps it.

[Lunchbox]

You should have thrown Justin's name out there.

[Ben]

And she said, all right, feel free to park anywhere.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, he was dishonorably discharged.

[Ben]

She said, feel free to park anywhere. I said, oh, here's good. And I put it in park.

[Lunchbox]

Literally at the entrance.

[Ben]

Literally at the entrance. Literally. Did not move an inch. And I throw it in bark. And I started to unbuckle. And this is her reaction. You can go in, sir. You didn't even pull in. I didn't even pull in. I didn't even pull in. See, to me, that is hilarious.

[Lunchbox]

Dude, she was probably ready to kill you.

[Ben]

Oh, she was ready to kill me. I mean, my one joke doesn't land.

[Lunchbox]

So you hit her with here's good. Yep. You better laugh next time.

[Ben]

And she just tells me, you can go in.

[Lunchbox]

You stop in line in park.

[Ben]

I did. I put in park. I literally put it parked with the seatbelt off. And she was not having any of my jokes. Doesn't enjoy my humor. I'm like, all right, cool. That's cool. All right, so we go. We're going up the garage, find a parking spot on the fourth level right next to the elevator. Get down, get over to the stadium. There's. It's cold as all get out. And we get there, we walk in, and the guy's like, you know where you're going and me being cocky old cockerson.

[Lunchbox]

You're still cocking it.

[Ben]

Hell yeah. I go. Oh, yeah. We just go here to the right and we go up. So we go to the right, go up. Our seats are on the other side of the stadium.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, man.

[Ben]

Oh man.

[Lunchbox]

You should have told me you're a doctor. I thought that shirts you're gonna hit me with.

[Ben]

Oh, man. So we gotta go back down.

[Lunchbox]

I'm a doctor here. You're wearing a ratted sweatshirt after walking.

[Ben]

Up to the third floor of this frickin arena. A lot of stairs. Got to go back down and then we got to go around the stadium. Then the kids are hungry some. All right, let's get some food.

[Lunchbox]

And that stadium's tight. When you're trying to move in and around.

[Ben]

Yeah, it's not a very. It's very narrow. Yes. Narrow hallways, a lot of people.

[Lunchbox]

It's like a mousetrap for adults.

[Ben]

Yes.

[Lunchbox]

You get trapped in there and then. I know, right in the bathroom we.

[Ben]

Can hear second quarter, the opening tip off happening. We're still not to our seats.

[Lunchbox]

Is it a trough?

[Ben]

No, they had individual urinals, but it is tight. It is tight. They are very. They are. They get them all the way. Like people coming out of the stalls are hitting you with the door as you're at the urinal.

[Lunchbox]

What you working with, Mark? Oh, hey, Joe.

[Ben]

Oh, God, that dang door hit me in the back all over my hand. It's really annoying, but they like it. It's like a cool stadium. It is pretty. There's not a bad seat.

[Lunchbox]

Does your trunk hang low?

[Ben]

Does it wobble to the floor? Does it.

[Lunchbox]

Make sure you watch your hands, boys.

[Ben]

And so then the boys are hungry. So then I go up to the register. I'm like, all right, I need an order. Two orders of chicken tenders. I need a hot dog. I need a pretzel. Oh, I'm sorry, sir. We don't have any tenders at this station. You ought to go right over there.

[Lunchbox]

You got to get the tendies.

[Ben]

What? It says tendies on your menu right there. Yeah, yeah, but we're not. We don't have at this. You got to go over there to order the tendies.

[Lunchbox]

You're not authorized to sell them.

[Ben]

Oh my gosh. So I just waited in line for tendies and you guys don't have tendies. This is great. So we turn around and we walk across. I need two baskets, attendees. It's amazing. A hot dog. Six, seven bucks. Tendies. $14. What? Three tendies and some potato chips. 14 freaking dollars.

[Lunchbox]

High demand, premium meat.

[Ben]

And then we got to get water because the kids haven't drank anything. So four bottles of water, sir. That'd be $58. So now we are $258 into this freaking event that was supposed to be free.

[Lunchbox]

We always had a rule. Waters only. Pops was never getting us stuff.

[Ben]

I don't know. Well, we hadn't eaten lunch and they just had basketball games. They were. They were hungry.

[Lunchbox]

Dad would get one lemonade and you can refill it in the water fountain. And the lemonade sugar will still be in there. So it makes about three cups with one. Oh.

[Ben]

And so I'm just like, God dang, this is. This is the worst game of my life. Like, we spent so much freaking money to go to this Mr. C's reading challenge. And then we're at the top of the top. Man. We are way up there in the arena. We get to the seats. Finally we get there. We sit down. Baby box three. I got a poo poo. Ok, seriously. We just got here. We just got here. And here's the cool thing about this arena. When you go up to the third floor, there are no bathrooms up there. So you got to go down to the second floor. And you know the cool thing about this arena?

[Lunchbox]

Wouldn't know. I was 12 rows up.

[Ben]

You know the cool thing about this arena is there are no bathrooms on the second floor. So you got to go down all the way down to the first floor to go to the bathroom. So after climbing all those stairs, you got to go back down and then back. I mean, awesome.

[Lunchbox]

You know what our flaw was when me and Justin went.

[Ben]

What?

[Lunchbox]

We sat. Seats were perverted. We sat in somebody else's seats. We sat in the band section.

[Ben]

Oh, God.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, yeah. These are ours. No, they're not. That's where the band sits. You got us. There are perfect seats, though.

[Ben]

Justin.

[Lunchbox]

Of all the seats, we picked where the freaking band sits, dude. You idiot. What are the chances you pick one of the 30 seats where they're at. All right. Yeah. We're live.

[Ben]

All right. Those aren't your seats. Yeah, they are. That's where the team sits. Oh, my vault, man.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah. I was wondering why there was a pad.

[Ben]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Lunchbox]

Pretty comfy. Those are good.

[Ben]

I was wondering why there was a whiteboard. I thought I was writing messages.

[Lunchbox]

You wonder why my seat was sponsored. I get it. Let's go, Stack house.

[Ben]

So my wife takes him down to the bathroom because I was like, I ain't going. My name's Ben, and I'm not in it. And so we sit there and we start the game. And of course, we're by none of the kids at the school because we had to buy our seats. So wherever the free seats were for Mr. C's reading challenge, they weren't near us.

[Lunchbox]

Jeez.

[Ben]

And let me tell you, they're just benches, so there's no back. So you're just sitting there. And as you get older, you want backs on your seat. Guys, I'm just telling you, it's just more comfortable. And let me tell you, these kids are exhausted. They are laying on the benches. They're laying on the bleachers. They're laying in your lap. And Vanderbilt is proceeding to get their butts kicked. Really? They were getting stomped. Three for Oklahoma. Three for Oklahoma. Three for oklahoma. It was like 24 to 6 right out the gate.

[Lunchbox]

That's rare. They're good.

[Ben]

It was so ugly. Then here comes Vanity. They make a run, get it to 2417. Then they go on a run. And I think it happened. It was 4127 or something like that. Oklahoma. And we're like, wow. All right, cool. Then they're doing pictures on the Jumbotron, like, oh, and scan this QR code, and you can send us your picture.

[Lunchbox]

You brought it all the way back around.

[Ben]

And what's shocking is.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, I thought you said start of the third quarter or whatever.

[Ben]

No.

[Lunchbox]

Okay, there's. Sorry, guys, that wasn't the end of the pod.

[Ben]

There's Baby Box's teacher on the jumbotron.

[Lunchbox]

There we go.

[Ben]

He's like, dad, she's here. Can we go look for her?

[Lunchbox]

No, I'm not looking for your teacher.

[Ben]

What do you mean, Ms. Williams? You mean out of these. This whole arena, you want me to walk around and look for your teacher? And then.

[Lunchbox]

Yes. What happens when we find your teacher? We have the world's most awkward conversation.

[Ben]

Because I know once we find your teacher, you're just going to be like, clam, clam. So, boy. So he's like, dad, we got to. We got to do that. We got to put our picture up there. All right, I'll bite. I'll bite. I'll fall for it. We'll take a selfie. So everybody gathers in. Boom. Selfie. All right, cool. And I send it that way. And he's like, it's halftime, so let's go to the bathroom. And on our way down, guess what? Second level. He walks in and looks at all the sections. All right, Dad, I don't see her in here. We get down to the first floor, he goes in, looks at all the sections. Dad, I don't see her. Walk by the concessions. He's like, dad, I don't see my teacher.

[Lunchbox]

You'll see her Monday.

[Ben]

I was like, he's like, where do you think she is? I was like, I don't know, buddy. I don't know. So we go in, go to the bathroom. He's like, should we walk around and look for. I'm like, no, we shouldn't. We should go back to our seat because the second half is going to start.

[Lunchbox]

Finally, you're being a parent.

[Ben]

But he's like, before we go, dad walks in the first level, looks again, doesn't find her. We get to the second level, he walks in there, looks around, I don't see her.

[Lunchbox]

Dad.

[Ben]

Go up to the third level. He's looking around. He goes, I don't think she's sitting up here with us, dad. So we sit back down and it's the start of the second half. And I'll tell you all about it right after this.

[Hunter Woodhull]

Hello, Malcolm Glauble here. We're here in New York City with T Mobile for business recording another episode of Revisionist history about how 5G network slicing strengthens trust and connections across worldwide industries.

[Malcolm Glauble]

Slicing can be used for so many different things. We're here with our friends from cnn. From Siemens Energy. The ways that it can be used, frankly, are limitless and are really, really built to think through. How can T Mobile understand the pain points that our customers have? Smash those pain points and help you deliver very specific outcomes.

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Second half More of the same. Vandy getting smoked, Vandy getting crushed. And then they had a promotion. That was the most ridiculous promotion I've ever seen.

[Lunchbox]

Give us your kid.

[Ben]

No. Usually if you put it the length of the court and you make it in that little hole, yeah, you get like free scholarship for a year, a free car.

[Lunchbox]

Agreed.

[Ben]

And they pull it out and they're like, if you get it in that.

[Lunchbox]

Little hole, you get Justin's old job.

[Ben]

You get a $500 gift certificate to where? And I'm like, this dude is going to put the ball the length of the court and put it in a little hole and you're going to give him $500.

[Lunchbox]

Please tell me it's for the restaurant you guys went to to get sea urchin. No, Ray, that have been a hell of a story.

[Ben]

If they would have told me for $500 I got to hit it though, I would have swung it like a driver.

[Lunchbox]

I mean maybe if it's like Larry Flynn, stripper club.

[Ben]

Anyway, I just found that ridiculous. But anyway, more the second half just absolutely a butt kicking. And every time out they're showing pictures on the Jumbotron and they ain't showing ours. And my kids feelings are starting to get hurt. And as we. I forgot we were walking in, guess who we saw?

[Lunchbox]

Bones.

[Ben]

Mr. C. The scam artist. Yeah. And he was walking down the hall and the kids were like, dad, dad, that's Mr. C. I'm like, hey, you.

[Lunchbox]

Owe me a couple dollars, Mr. C.

[Ben]

That's when I shoved him against the wall and said, hey, you said there was me free tickets, now give me your pocketbook. But I was like, yeah, that's Mr. C. The one that promises free tickets for Mr. C's reading challenge. There was nothing free.

[Lunchbox]

What was he wearing? Snake oil and a briefcase?

[Ben]

Yeah, he was. He looked very shady, let me tell you.

[Lunchbox]

You got my money there, see, he.

[Ben]

Was writing checks that his mouth could gash, I'll tell you that.

[Lunchbox]

Was it one of those crypto kids?

[Ben]

Oh man. So anyway, it is a blowout. The kids look like they're about to fall asleep on the benches.

[Lunchbox]

And I was going to say, you don't need to tell us the score. Somebody can look up the score. Guys, the game happened like a week ago.

[Ben]

We're down by like 18 with like eight minutes to go. And I'm like, hey, you guys want to leave?

[Lunchbox]

Well, cut to the chase. Did they win?

[Ben]

I was like, you guys ready to go? Like, why don't we go?

[Lunchbox]

Because we dandy win.

[Ben]

Because we had a birthday party. We were going that night, the wife and I, at 5:30. And I'm like, this game is a blowout. Let's go ahead and go. You guys look dead. You there's. You're not even interested in the game or. No, dad, Dad, I earned these tickets. I think we should stay till the end.

[Lunchbox]

Did they win?

[Ben]

Okay, I'm trying. I was like, you know, I have a friend named Ray. He has a theory ale always leave early so we can beat the traffic. You're kidding.

[Lunchbox]

Kids knew about it.

[Ben]

And they're like, no, Dad, I want to stay. And I'm like, oh my gosh, this is so boring. It is so miserable. Five minutes left. They're down 15 points and a. The kids are falling asleep. And I'm like, guys, let's just go. Let's just go. We.

[Lunchbox]

No, I don't want to leave.

[Ben]

Okay? I don't want tears. I don't want tears.

[Lunchbox]

Please tell me Vandy made a run.

[Ben]

I don't want tears. Wife takes one of the kids to the bathroom. Middle kid to the bathroom. She go. She texted me. She goes. Should we just leave? Everybody's leaving. Why don't we just leave? Tell the boys we're leaving. There's like 4 minutes, 30 seconds to go. Down 13, 14 points. I said, hey, boys, we're going to leave. Mom's ready to go. Dad, the game's not over yet. We don't. We can't leave yet. I text, I said, even though they're about to fall asleep, they look very uninterested. They are refusing to budge from their seats.

[Lunchbox]

Tell them to sound the buzzer and.

[Ben]

I'll come back up. And I mean it. Clears out. And don't worry, they're still not showing our picture on the jumbotron that I submitted to this little QR code and that is making my kids upset.

[Lunchbox]

They need to do it for the parents where they put zeros on the scoreboard just for a minute so that parents can usher their kids out.

[Ben]

And with two minutes left, there may be 55 people in that arena. And Vandy drains a three. Then they get a steal and they drain a three. And now we're down to a minute and 20 seconds left and we're down by 11 and we start fouling. I'm like, what the hell are we doing? We are just delaying this game. Can we please. It is now 4:48. We are supposed to pick up the babysitter at 5:15. We're supposed to be at the birthday party at 5:30. We're supposed to make an app. Everybody's supposed to bring an app for the birthday party. That's the. It's going to be like a potluck app dinner.

[Lunchbox]

Bring sea urchin.

[Ben]

It'll change your life.

[Lunchbox]

Approach this. Hey, Sarah, try and approach this.

[Ben]

And Oklahoma goes down, makes one of two free throws. Here comes Vandy. They drain a three down eight.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, frick. Yeah.

[Ben]

And I'm like, oh my gosh, now the boys are up. Now the boys are up.

[Lunchbox]

Oh look, our pictures on the jumbotron.

[Ben]

Oh, our picture's still not on the Jumbotron, man. Still not on the Jumbotron. But I'm telling you, they start screaming and when they're shooting free throws. Miss it. Oklahoma misses two free throws.

[Lunchbox]

I thought I heard them on SportsCenter.

[Ben]

Vandy hits a three. We're down five with 38 seconds to go.

[Lunchbox]

Are you freaking kidding me? Go Doors.

[Ben]

And we foul. They make one of two. So we're down six, come down, make a three and a foul.

[Lunchbox]

It's gotta be that little kid. He is lights out.

[Ben]

We made a three and we're fouled. We go to the line, make it four point play. We're down two.

[Lunchbox]

With how much left?

[Ben]

27 seconds.

[Lunchbox]

Frick.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Lunchbox]

Let's go.

[Ben]

And then it gets crazy like we foul. They make a free throw, we come down, we miss. And it goes out of bounds. So they're trying to inbounds the ball and they just throw it straight out of bounds. They don't. They never get it like no one. And then we turn it over on the inbounds and then we get it to within two, then it's within three. And then we come down with a chance to tie the game. Down three. We miss. They get it. We found they make both free throws. We make it three at the end, we lose by one. We lose by one.

[Lunchbox]

Freaking kidding me.

[Ben]

No, but me harassing my kid, saying we should leave early. And it turns out the game actually got pretty good. He was screaming his head off. He was going crazy. He was red in the face. And I felt bad telling him we should leave early. He's saying, let's go, Vanny. Look at him. Look at him. Dude, he's red in the face.

[Lunchbox]

Careful, coach, there's no one there.

[Ben]

Oh, yeah. Good call. Oh, man. And we lost by one.

[Lunchbox]

All right, man. Hell of a story. I think we all lost by one there.

[Ben]

Yeah, we lost $256.

[Lunchbox]

We've approached the end.

[Ben]

It was time to go home, man. Time to go home. Thanks a lot. Mr. C's reading challenge. There was nothing free about the day. There was absolutely nothing free about it.

[Lunchbox]

Well, he's heading off to another campus.

[Ben]

Well, we did get free orange or gold pom poms that the kids shook.

[Lunchbox]

Those were for the girls.

[Ben]

And then they more. They acted like there was their hair. And then they were doing it like it was my hair. Then it was my wife's hair. And then.

[Lunchbox]

Don't do that to your dad.

[Ben]

They were covering their face with it and saying, dad, dad, where'd I go? Did you lose me? And then they went, oh, I'm still here. So we did that a lot. Yeah. And then we went to the. And then we brought the pom poms home with us. The next day we had to go to the grocery store and they ended up pushing little kids carts around. So they had brought the pom poms in the store with them. Then I had to carry them. So I did it like I was directing planes through the airport and we were doing that through the grocery store. This way, this way, this way. Just follow the pom poms.

[Lunchbox]

You got to bring those to the big show. That'd be funny. Direct people in the studio.

[Ben]

Hey, hey. This way. Amy, Amy, come here. Feeling things. Come here. Feeling yourself. Feeling yourself. Take it personally. Take it personally.

[Lunchbox]

Construction workers, you help them out with traffic.

[Ben]

Oh, man. Yeah. What a weekend, man. I didn't get to tell you about the birthday party. I'll tell you about that on Friday. Maybe if you've been caring.

[Lunchbox]

I'm as tired as your kids right now.

[Ben]

Yeah. Yeah. All right, well, let's go home, man.

[Lunchbox]

I'm gonna leave a minute early.

[Ben]

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[Ben]

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[Ben]

This is an I heart podcast. Guaranteed human.