SORE LOSERS - What Went Wrong At A Breastaurant With The Box Boys?

Summary

The Bobby Bones Show: SORE LOSERS – What Went Wrong At a Breastaurant With the Box Boys?

Date: May 31, 2026
Hosts: Lunchbox & Sizzin
Podcast: Sore Losers Show, a spin-off of The Bobby Bones Show

---

Episode Overview

This episode centers on a hilariously disastrous “bonding” day out, as Lunchbox recounts taking his three sons to a local "breastaurant" (the type with lots of TVs, beer, wings, and—let’s just say—a unique brand of service). The story spirals from snack deals to TV woes and, ultimately, a nightmarish bathroom experience. The co-hosts also discuss selling soccer tickets, youth sports parenting challenges, college football drama, NBA playoff banter, and a comically pathetic influencer boxing match. The episode’s tone is loose, irreverent, and heavy on real-life dad chaos.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Infamous ‘Box Boys’ Breastaurant Outing

• [06:10–26:00] Lunchbox details an intended father-son bonding trip to a sports bar with his three "Baby Boxes".
• The Setup: Afternoon baseball, all-you-can-eat appetizers, lots of TVs. "I thought it'd be a great bonding experience..." (Lunchbox, 06:10)
• Venue Choice: After much joking and dodging the brand name (“not a plug!”), it's clear they went to a “breastaurant” like Twin Peaks or Hooters—TVs, wings, plaid skirts.
  • Sizzin: “I didn't know you're gonna take your kids to a girl in a Plaid skirt at Twin Peaks. I mean, they don't wear anything there. I went there to lunch…one hell of a business lunch. We accomplished nothing.” (07:37)
• TV Troubles: They arrive to find not a single live baseball game on — only talk shows and NFL replays.
• Long Wait: No service for over 18 minutes.
  • Lunchbox: “As it got up to the 13, 14 minute mark, I started thinking, I'm going to do a science experiment. I'm just going to sit here and wait and see how long it takes.” (13:49)

2. Catastrophe in the Bathroom

• [16:40–21:49]
• Poopocalypse: The tale takes a turn as Lunchbox and Baby Box 2 venture into a restroom covered in “crap covered toilet paper” and feces—on the floor and on top of the toilet.
  • Lunchbox: “I have never seen a more disgusting scene in my life.” (17:32)
  • “There was crap, I'm talking human feces all over the back of the toilet. Like, the dude didn't even poop in the toilet.” (19:00)
• Desperate Parenting: Trapped between letting a kid have an accident or brave the warzone (“I think I’d rather you poop your pants than sit on that toilet…” (20:03)), they grab food to go and retreat.

3. The Forgotten Crystal

• [24:54–31:16]
• Postscript: Upon getting home, Baby Box 2 realizes he left his cherished purple crystal at the restaurant, triggering guilt and a dramatic sibling meltdown.
  • Sizzin: “Blood diamonds. Blood is what this was. Poop diamond.” (25:43)
• Reclaiming the Crystal: After multiple failed phone calls, Lunchbox drives back, finds the staff largely indifferent, but recovers the crystal from a sympathetic employee. Emotional reunion at home ensues.
  • “That sure is beautiful. Someone’s gonna miss that. So I put it in my pocket instead of the trash…” (Lunchbox, 30:03)

---

4. Nashville SC Soccer Tickets: A New Approach to Freebies

• [33:46–36:52]
• Sizzin receives free tickets to a Nashville SC soccer match, immediately sells them online rather than attend.
  • “Sold my Nashville SC tickets and I still haven't been to a game, but hell of a promo...” (36:07)

5. Parenting Youth Sports: The “Forgotten Hat” Saga

• [36:52–43:16]
• Lunchbox narrates a ballpark adventure: kid forgets autograph hat, tears ensue, solution is to have players sign a free mascot poster instead.
  • “You don’t ever just say no. Like, just get him to sign it. It’s okay to have it twice…” (42:14)

6. College Football Drama – Texas vs. Texas Tech

• [47:52–51:35]
• Sarkisian’s trash talk about Texas Tech’s schedule leads to public standoffs and boosters offering to pay buyouts for a grudge match.
  • “Now Texas Tech put their nuts on the table and said, let’s go. We will play you. We are not scared…” (Lunchbox, 48:34)
  • “If Texas doesn't play them, they look like little bees.” (48:34)

7. NBA Playoff Banter & Spurs Fandom

• [51:35–56:41]
• Debate over attending Game 7 vs. adult birthday party, community of Spurs fandom, and predictions.
  • “Who has a party at 7 o’clock on a Saturday? ...That’s inexcusable.” (53:10)
• Technical strategies about player rotation and grilling over why fans encourage bad 3-point shooters.

8. Miscellaneous Sports & Collector’s Memories

• [43:57–44:09]
• Sizzin recalls a ‘no autographs, just handshakes’ day as a child, advocating for more memory-based fan events.

9. The Bob Menery vs. Johnny Manziel “Fight”

• [58:58–60:42]
• A ridiculous influencer boxing bout where both men were out of shape and the highlight is the payday.
  • “People said it looked like two sour cream tubes fighting each other.” (59:22)
  • “One minute…to get some punches to the face for 1 million. Not a bad day's work.” (60:12)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Restaurant Service:
  • “I just wanted to see like, is there a reason maybe this business is struggling? Is there a reason there’s not a lot of people in here?” (14:06)
• On the Bathroom Horror:
  • “It’s not a museum. It’s disgusting.” (21:18)
• On Lost & Found:
  • “I didn’t know what it was, man, but I saw it and I said, that sure is beautiful. Someone’s gonna miss that. So I put it in my pocket instead of the trash…” (30:03)
• On Parenting Sports Fans:
  • “I’m not walking the 15 minutes back to the car for this hat that it’s your responsibility to bring to the game.” (38:03)
• On College Football Showdowns:
  • “Don’t let your mouth write a check your ass can’t cash at the restaurant restroom.” (49:13)
• On Influencer Boxing:
  • “People said it looked like two sour cream tubes fighting each other.” (59:22)

---

Segment Timestamps

| Time | Segment/Topic | |-----------|---------------------------------------------| | 06:10–26:00 | The Breastaurant Catastrophe: Food, Service, and Bathroom Woes | | 24:54–31:16 | The Lost Crystal and Sibling Drama | | 33:46–36:52 | Nashville Soccer: Free Tickets, Quick Sale | | 36:52–43:16 | Youth Sports & The Forgotten Autograph Hat | | 47:52–51:35 | Texas vs. Texas Tech Football Feud | | 51:35–56:41 | NBA Playoff Banter, Spurs Fandom | | 58:58–60:42 | Influencer ‘Boxing’ Match Debrief |

---

Tone & Style

Unpolished, fast-and-loose, with classic “dad chaos” and direct storytelling. The banter is peppered with irreverent jokes, relatable parenting fails, and a sports-loving, slightly sarcastic camaraderie.

---

For Listeners Who Missed It

This episode is a wild profile of suburban dad life—full of laughs, a little gross-out, and relatable chaos—bolstered by sports rants, sibling squabbles, and the brutal truth of public restrooms. It’s especially insightful for fans of parenting humor, sports bar culture, and the messy reality behind seemingly simple outings with kids. You’ll also get sports talk that finds the funny line between loyalty and exasperation, with a heavy dose of spur-of-the-moment life wisdom.

Transcript

[Podcast Announcer]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Lunchbox]

Guaranteed Human Amazon Health AI presents painful

[Sizzin]

thoughts I I can't stop scratching my downtown.

[Lunchbox]

Mm, yeah, but I'm not itching to

[Guest or Minor Speaker]

go downtown and tell a receptionist I'm

[Lunchbox]

here to talk about my downtown. Some things you'd rather type than say out loud. There's no question too embarrassing for Amazon Health AI. Chat your symptoms and get virtual care 24.

[Commercial Voice]

7 Healthcare just got less painful.

[Lunchbox]

It never happens at a good time.

[Sizzin]

The pipe bursts at midnight, the heater

[Lunchbox]

quits on the coldest night. Suddenly you're overwhelmed. That's when HomeServe is here. For $4.99 a month, you're never alone. Just call their 24. 7 hotline and a local pro is on the way. Trusted by millions, HomeServe delivers peace of mind when you need it most. For plans Starting at just $4.99 a month, go to homeserve.com that's homeserve.com available everywhere. Most plans range between $4.99 to $11.99 a month. Your first year terms apply on covered repairs.

[Commercial Voice]

When you own your own business, you own every decision.

[Sizzin]

Catch the red eye or take the

[Guest or Minor Speaker]

6am Make a new hire or promote internally.

[Sizzin]

Celebrate a win with the toast at the gate or unwind at the lounge. Big props to this team.

[Commercial Voice]

Some decisions are a win win, like earning eight times points on Chase Travel Chase Sapphire Reserve for Business, the business card that gives back all you put in. Visit chase.com ReserveBusiness to cards issued by JP Morgan Chase Bank. Any member FDIC subject to credit approval terms apply.

[Lunchbox]

Hey everyone, it's Kalpen. I'm inviting you to join the best sounding book club you've ever heard with my podcast Hearsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. Every episode I nerd out with amazing guests and dive into the best new audiobooks available on Audible. It's the book club for your ears. Listen to Irsay, the Audible and I Heart Audiobook Club on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Sizzin]

Thank you for listening to our podcast. We are a spin off podcast of the Big Show.

[Lunchbox]

You don't have to say that. Just do the intro. You got to do the intro music because I got an email lunch. I agree with Ray's suggestion that adding an intro and outro would be a great improvement. Your weekly listeners would appreciate the extra effort to enhance the show's production. Love the pod. Eddie Diaz so it looks like you were right. So let's do the intro.

[Sizzin]

We're Gonna do it live, Arnold, you hear?

[Lunchbox]

Yeah.

[Sizzin]

I'm ready to drink. It's ready for the weekend, baby.

[Lunchbox]

One week to see my fest.

[Sizzin]

And 210 days until our convention. That Countdown brought to you by Freeland Chevrolet.

[Lunchbox]

Man, that's crazy. You did the math.

[Sizzin]

I just did seven months and 30, so. 210.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, but some days don't have 30 or months. Right? They have 31, 28. Or is there only. I got a question, a serious question. Is February the only day with 28? Only a month with 28 days? Yeah.

[Sizzin]

Everyone else is either 31 or 30.

[Lunchbox]

Thank you.

[Sizzin]

Because that's why they do the finger thing. It's an up knuckle, it's 31. Down knuckle, it's 30. So January is 31. February is the off one. So it's 28 or 27. February, March is 31. April is 30. May is 31. This month, June is 30. July is 31. August, I believe. Then goes there 30. September's 30. August is the knuckle. So August is 31. September's 30.

[Lunchbox]

September, October 31st.

[Sizzin]

November.

[Lunchbox]

Yep.

[Sizzin]

And then December 30th, December 31st.

[Lunchbox]

Wow. And I mean, I know we're. This is so stupid. This is not. This is not even on the menu. But why?

[Sizzin]

What's on the menu?

[Lunchbox]

Oh, what's on the menu? Ray's first professional soccer game.

[Sizzin]

And I know we're never going to talk about it, but the Bob Mary Manzel fight.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, I didn't even watch that crap. I didn't watch that crap.

[Sizzin]

I'll talk on my other podcast.

[Lunchbox]

We can talk about it, but we.

[Sizzin]

I'll go on brother's podcast.

[Lunchbox]

You got to tell me that you want that to be on the menu. And I got Texas versus Texas Tech drama. I mean, softball. No, not even softball. Football. And lunchboxes. Day out with his boys. Oh, it was a doozy. That's every Wednesday. And then we might talk a little spurs at the end. Spurs, Thunder.

[Sizzin]

Did they play?

[Lunchbox]

Ah, they did play. We might talk about it at the end if we have time. We might get to it. But everybody wants the intro, so let's do the intro. But really my question was, why did they just put 28 days in February? Why not just take a day away from one of these other months and make it all even?

[Sizzin]

Ask the ad to Aztecs. My name is Bennett. I ain't in it. My name is Paul. It's up to y'.

[Lunchbox]

All. Make every month. Like, I take one day away from January and Put it in February. Take one day away from August. Put it in February. Boom. Everybody's 30 days. Congratulations.

[Sizzin]

My name's Onomatopoeia. I have no idea.

[Lunchbox]

That's pretty dang good. That's pretty.

[Sizzin]

We're gonna do it live. We are the. 1, 2, 3, soar.

[Lunchbox]

Loser. What up, everybody? I am Lunchbox. I know the most about sports, so I'll give you the sports facts, my sports opinions, because I'm pretty much a sports genius, y'.

[Sizzin]

All. It's Sizzin. I'm from the North. I'm an alpha male. I live on the north side of Nashville with bazer, my wife. 2.3 acres. 2.3333 acres. Two kids at Vanderbilt, defrosting. Justin moved to Michigan. He's supposed to be watching after him, but he's there with his proctor or something, and he's learning for three months how to be a nurse or whatever. He is a registered nurse. Rn. So I ran out of the intro, guys. That's all I got. Over to you, man.

[Lunchbox]

Man, I'm gonna tell you what. I thought it'd be a great bonding experience. Wednesday they had afternoon baseball on.

[Sizzin]

Did you say bondage?

[Lunchbox]

No, no. Bonding with my three boys. Baby box one, baby box two. Baby box three. I thought we could go to a establishment that has a lots of TVs, lots of beer on tap, lots of food options that you can eat, Twin Peaks, something like that. And I said, guys, we can go. We'll watch some baseball. They have a special deal on where you can order these apps, and then you can just keep ordering the apps and it's bottomless. And I said, it'll be great. We can sit back, relax for a couple hours, enjoy ourselves.

[Sizzin]

What breastaurant are you talking about?

[Lunchbox]

It's not even a breastaurant.

[Sizzin]

Because I'm thinking in my head right now, Chili's, Hooters. Buy me Twin Peaks. Buy me Hooters.

[Lunchbox]

Maybe Chili's doesn't have a lot of TVs. It's a national thing.

[Sizzin]

But Chili's has apps.

[Lunchbox]

But it has. Yeah, yeah, but this has lots of TVs. TVs. Everywhere.

[Sizzin]

OK. Is this a plug?

[Lunchbox]

They got. No. They got beer. No, no. When I get to it, it's definitely not a plug. Ok? Definitely not a plug.

[Sizzin]

I'm like, what are we doing with the explanation of the establishment?

[Lunchbox]

They have wings.

[Sizzin]

Okay.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah.

[Sizzin]

I was playing dumb. I knew what you were talking about. I didn't know you're gonna take your kids to a girl in a Plaid skirt at Twin Peaks. I mean, they don't wear anything there. I went there to lunch.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah.

[Sizzin]

And I. It was one hell of a business lunch. We accomplished nothing.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah. All you did was lose a lot of drool.

[Sizzin]

What.

[Lunchbox]

What did.

[Sizzin]

What did you say? Oh, yeah, the. Oh, that we can do a deal. Oh, okay. Yeah.

[Lunchbox]

You like mountains too? What? No. You're not talking about Mount. No, not her mountain. The Andes mountains. Yes. Oh, her name is Andy. Crap.

[Sizzin]

You wrote down on this napkin. Are we signing? Is that gonna be our doc. Oh, that's your phone number on the napkin for the waitress. Got it. Okay. What about me signing a deal? Okay. We haven't been very productive. Let's just do a business call on Monday.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah. So I'm like, boys, let's go. So we get in the car, and we're going. And baby box two has this crystal in his hand. It's like a rock, and insides, this purple, like crystal. And baby box one. That's my crystal. You took that out of my backpack? He's like, nah, man, I found it. I found it on the front porch. He goes, well, then it's mine. I took it out of my backpack and left it on the front porch. Give it back now. And I have to mediate and say, hey, guys, you don't know if that's your crystal until we get home and you look in your backpack and for sure it's not in there. No, my friend Josephine gave that to me in my class. That's my crystal. Another way to say it is, hey, I think that's my crystal. When I get home, I'll look at my backpack. Just, you know, make sure you don't lose it.

[Sizzin]

Good.

[Lunchbox]

So he goes, all right, you better not lose it, or you're buying me another one. And Baby Box 2 is like, don't worry. I'm not gonna lose it. This is foreshadowing. And we get to the restaurant, and we walk in, and it has a sign. Please seat yourself. Someone will be over to help you shortly. So we go in there and we sit down at a table. It's a booth, really. Two on one side, two on the other side. And we're sitting there, and I'm like, oh, boys, let's watch some baseball. There's not a single baseball game on these TVs. They have all the talk shows on the TV.

[Sizzin]

They ain't paying for streaming.

[Lunchbox]

They have nothing but the talk shows on the TVs at a sports bar establishment. Mm. They are showing replays of NFL games from Last season on one of the channels.

[Sizzin]

You should go to my Mexican restaurant around the corner. All they play is football. I don't watch UEFA.

[Lunchbox]

I'm like, okay, this is weird. Dad. Dad, which games? Where's the baseball? I'm like. I look at my phone again, I'm like. And there's, like, five games on right now.

[Sizzin]

Okay, so there were day games on.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, that's why I thought it was a great idea, because there were day games looked at the schedule, because with

[Sizzin]

Beat the Streak, you only have day games about once a week.

[Lunchbox]

I want to say, yeah, it's getaway day, man. And so I'm like, man, I do not understand this. And so we're sitting there and. All right, baby, box two's got the crystal. He's playing with it on the table.

[Sizzin]

And who are you trying to watch, man? Like, the Guardians.

[Lunchbox]

It was the Nationals. Indians versus the Guardians. It was the Blue Jays versus the Marlins. It was the Cardinals and the Brewers.

[Sizzin]

Big A's fan?

[Lunchbox]

No, Cubs. Cubs. And so we're just sitting there and sitting there, and, I mean, there's no one in this restaurant.

[Sizzin]

I assumed I've seen them in the last five years.

[Lunchbox]

There's nobody. And there's one guy that's working on his computer that has his, you know, his. He works at the restaurant, but he's got his computer out and the booth diagonal from us, and he's just sitting there on his computer.

[Sizzin]

Probably supposed to be floating around.

[Lunchbox]

Probably. It's supposed to be a floater or something. There's the bartender behind the bar. Well, there's no one at the bar, so he's just kind of leaned up against the bar, playing on their phones. And we're just sitting here, and we sit there a little bit longer. Seven minutes. Still sitting there.

[Sizzin]

Boy, I'd love a wing. Back, back.

[Lunchbox]

10 minutes. Still sitting there. And then the boys are like, dad, are we going to get food or what? I'm hungry. I know, boys. I know. I don't know. And this is at the point you're deciding, do we stay or do we go?

[Sizzin]

Well, you have got to bring it up to the manager via the computer.

[Lunchbox]

Go knock on his computer. But, hey, excuse me, man. Like, I know you're working on a computer, but can we get some help over here?

[Sizzin]

You text him. Wait. You go on the company website, you send him a message, and it goes. Goes to his computer, and he responds to you. We'll send someone over right away. Why didn't you just tell me that in person? You didn't need to message me on the computer.

[Lunchbox]

And there's one lady that works there, but she's sitting in the booth with a guy, a girl and two kids and she's just chatting with them and she keeps going back out to her car and coming back in. Then she's handing the two kids like $3 each. And I'm like, what is going on?

[Sizzin]

Strict management and bring your kids to work.

[Lunchbox]

And we're sitting there, it's been 15 minutes.

[Sizzin]

Say something to who?

[Lunchbox]

There is nobody to there. There's no. I don't know who is who. And so I'm just sitting there.

[Sizzin]

If a guy's got a name tag on, you're getting spoken to. That's my rule of thumb. If you're wearing a red shirt at a Target, I'm tapping you on the shoulder. I don't give a crap. If you don't work there, why are you wearing a shirt that's the same color as the company?

[Lunchbox]

Here's the thing.

[Sizzin]

Oh, sorry, I don't work here, dude. I'm just a college student wearing red.

[Lunchbox]

As it got up to the 13, 14 minute mark, why would you wear

[Sizzin]

a red shirt into Target?

[Lunchbox]

I started thinking, I'm going to do a science experiment. I'm just going to sit here and wait and see how long it takes.

[Sizzin]

See, my buddy BJ starts his timer on his phone. He always wants to know everything. So always be like, guys, in case you were wondering, it took him 20 minutes to get us our drinks. He has the stopwatch going. It's actually informative.

[Lunchbox]

It is it. I just wanted to see like, is there a reason maybe this business is struggling? Is there a reason there's not a lot of people in here. And so after 18 minutes, a guy comes over, he's like, hey, man, sorry about that. Here's some menus. You know, you guys ready to order? And I'm like, no, no, you just handed us the menus. We're not ready to order.

[Sizzin]

Yeah, I sped read it, but then

[Lunchbox]

I said, we'll just take waters, you know, for everybody. Yeah, yeah, okay. So he goes, get the waters, Comes back and then he disappears again. I'm like, oh, we'd like to order at least some apps. We want to order some apps, man.

[Sizzin]

The double hands up.

[Lunchbox]

Because I'm like, this is after he took four minutes to go get the waters, you know, like it was 22 minutes. Now at this point, I'm like, no, don't disappear now. We need to order at least some apps and we Order the apps. Great. And then I'm like, hey, and by the way, man, like, can we turn some baseball on these TVs? Like, we don't need. Like, my kids don't enjoy these talk shows.

[Sizzin]

The Million Dollar Question.

[Lunchbox]

And he's like, are y' all a sports bar, or are you guys gonna just play the talk shows? Cool. And what good is the talk shows if they're not the. The volume's not on, so you just see. See McAfee up there? Not talk, just talking. But you can't hear it.

[Sizzin]

It's my number one thing, man. When I. When I go into a bar, I'm taking control of the tv. Now, actually, I don't gamble. I've never done it since. But back in the day, the I. Before, I'd order a drink, I'd order the remote. I mean, oh, get out of here. Like, dude, I controlled that TV like it was my own in my bedroom.

[Lunchbox]

Then, I mean, he goes, I'll see what I can do. And he goes over and talks to the bartender, who's just doing nothing at this point still. And boom. Brewers, Cardinals on that tv. Boom. Marlins, Blue Jays on that team. Me. Boom. Nationals. And the Guardians on that tv. And I'm like, what were you doing this whole day? Like, it's already in the fourth inning. Like, why would you not have it on from the jump? You need something to entertain your guests

[Sizzin]

and the channel that's on Animal Planet. Find something to put it on.

[Lunchbox]

Yes. Find something.

[Sizzin]

I mean, I actually respect one of my local spots back when we're on the west side. Dude, they'd throw it on horse racing. I'm like, you know what? Damn it. If there ain't baseball, if there ain't balls on. They threw it on horse racing. I got to respect that.

[Lunchbox]

Bravo to them. They found something. Like, watching a talk. A sports talk show with no audio is the dumbest thing in the world in a sports bar.

[Sizzin]

Yeah.

[Lunchbox]

They're showing nothing. So then we order our food. It comes out, and we're eating everything. Crystal's sitting right there on the table, and Baby Box 2 is like, dad. Dad. I'm like, what? He goes, I gotta poop. I'm like, all right, let's go. I said to baby box one and three, I said, you guys just sit here and eat. I'll be right back. And then we go in the bathroom, and he goes. And he tries to open the stall, and I guess it's locked. So we sit there, and he's like, dad. He starts dancing in the mirror. And he's like, now your turn. So we're having a dance off in the bathroom, okay. And we dance off for about five minutes. And I'm not hearing any action in the stall.

[Sizzin]

You know, I do a look, see?

[Lunchbox]

And I'm like, is there anybody in there?

[Sizzin]

Stall number one, Stall number two.

[Lunchbox]

And I knock on the door and nothing. And I push down the handle and it opens. He goes, oh, sorry, dad, I thought it was locked. Sorry. And I opened the door all the way and I have never seen a more disgusting scene in my life.

[Sizzin]

Looked like it had some aerosol cans, color brown.

[Lunchbox]

There was crap covered toilet paper all over the ground. Not in the toilet. Not by, I mean, I'm talking all over the ground.

[Sizzin]

Like, that's got to be one of our truckers. Like, did you was this place along the interstate?

[Lunchbox]

Like, I like, how do you wipe your ass and then just toss it in the air? Do you just throw it up like confetti? Like, what are you doing?

[Sizzin]

That's one of those. That's just so violent. He was probably reaching for stuff and just, you know, he's really just trying to plug a hole.

[Lunchbox]

But why are you just throwing the toilet paper on the ground?

[Sizzin]

That's what I'm saying.

[Lunchbox]

He was, no, no, just like once you're done, just drop in the toilet.

[Sizzin]

Right, right, right, right. But he was in a rapid rate trying to get as much as he could to, to essentially blockade the straits of hummus maybe.

[Lunchbox]

And I'm like, I mean, there's crap covered toilet paper everywhere. I'm like, all right, don't step out. Don't step on it. And then I, I make my way from the, the ground up to the toilet. There was crap, I'm talking human feces all over the back of the toilet. Like, the dude didn't even poop in the toilet.

[Sizzin]

I'm telling you, it's got to be that hot when you're getting the wings mild and medium.

[Lunchbox]

I do not understand how you can aim your butt to hit the top back of the toilet. Like, how does that happen? Like not on like a little bit on the rim, you know what I mean? Okay, I see you moved your butt and it got a little streak. I am talking poop all over the back and top of the toilet.

[Sizzin]

Well, what I call that is a fire breathing anus. Sometimes it gets us.

[Lunchbox]

And I'm like, we can't sit. I'm not going to clean that. There's no way I'm going to clean it. This poor 6 year old is dancing because he's like, dad, I'm going to poop my pants. I'm going to poop my pants. And I'm looking at myself, I'm like, I think I'd rather you poop your pants than sit on that toilet where there's just crap everywhere. And we are dodging crap filled toilet paper all over the ground. I was like, all right, we can't go in here.

[Sizzin]

And you got to thank the manager. Hey, I just basically performed a custodial service for your business. Would you mind cleaning it? Thanks.

[Lunchbox]

And I guarantee, you know what the employee would say? I'm not cleaning that. Because that's what I would have said if someone came to me and. And I. And that wasn't my crap. There ain't no way I'm cleaning that

[Sizzin]

if I'm a manager, which I will be when we open a restaurant. First thing, I'm doing TVs. Second thing, bathrooms.

[Lunchbox]

So I'm like, all right, we'll just go in the women's. We'll just go in the women's. They got stalls and baby boxes. Like, no, I'm not going in there, son.

[Sizzin]

You are. They.

[Lunchbox]

I'm like, let's just go. And he goes, no, I'm not going in there. I'm. All right.

[Sizzin]

Dang right you're not.

[Lunchbox]

So I go back to the table and I'm like, boys, we got to wrap it up. We got to go. And he's why? Your brother's got a poop. And the bathroom is a. It's a war zone in there. What do you mean there's poop all over. I want to see. I want to see. No, no, no, we're not going in there to see. It's not. It's not a museum. It's disgusting.

[Sizzin]

There's library books. It's really boring. Why would you make it so. It sounds exciting.

[Lunchbox]

I shouldn't have. And then baby box two is like, dad, I really got to go. I really got to go. I can sit on that toilet. I'll just be real careful. And I said, we are not sitting on that toilet. Like, we are not going back in there. You're not going to be careful because there is human poop all over.

[Sizzin]

It's got to be the night shift before they are at fault and the morning shift that should be cleaned before anybody goes into their first customer.

[Lunchbox]

And well, I'm sure it was clean in the morning. So someone in that time was.

[Sizzin]

That had been opened for dirt for day baseball.

[Lunchbox]

It was it was 12:45, so it'd been open an hour and 45 minutes.

[Sizzin]

It would be rare for someone to have violent squirts at noon.

[Lunchbox]

It was awful. So I'm like to go boxes, let's go. We gotta get, we gotta get. We pay. Boom boom. Get in the car, drive home and we pull up to the house after the break. Drama right after the break. We'll be right back.

[Commercial Voice]

When you own your own business, you need to keep things moving. Need to book a last minute flight? Earn a $300 travel credit to cover that. Need to take a meeting before takeoff? Do it from the comfort of the Chase Sapphire Lounge by the club. Need to catch your breath before you board? Done. Chase Sapphire reserved for business the business card that gives back all you put in. Visit chase.com ReserveBusiness to learn more. Cards issued by JPMorgan Chase bank and a member FDIC subject to credit approval

[Commercial Voice 2]

terms apply this year it's pop's turn for a laugh. So celebrate Father's Day with a gift that really pops. A customized Funko Pop of him. First, think of all the things that make your dad the man. Then turn those ideas into a personalized Funko Pop. Select hair, clothing and skin tone options to match his fit. Don't forget to show off his favorite hobbies and sports with amazing accessories. You can even add his best best friend. Start Creating [e-mail] Be unique, not anyone else.

[Lunchbox]

Express it now. Just pop yourself.

[Bethenny Frankel]

That's Funko.com this is Bethany Frankel from Just Be with Bethany Frankel. My babies, Biggie and Smalls get the best of everything. So I am excited to make Chewy. My go to Chewy has it all and it ships fast. They also handle the serious stuff like prescriptions, pet insurance and telehealth vet visits. And their 247 customer service actually understands dog moms like me. And it's not just for dogs and cats. No matter what kind of pet parent you are, Chewy makes everything feel easy and personal for life with pets, the answer is chewy. Save $20 on your first order with free shipping at chewpanions.chewy.com JustBee introducing Taco

[Podcast Announcer]

Bell's new sweet and spicy Jalapeno Citrus Salsa made with bright citrus and real red jalapenos. You can get it with anything on the Cantina Chicken menu for a delicious tangy twist to make all your faves instantly better. And while Jalapeno Citrus Salsa is only available for a limited time, know this Jalapeno Citrus Salsa Demands the spotlight. It's the sauce with main character energy. Get jalapeno citrus salsa with anything on the cantina chicken menu for a limited time only at Taco Bell at participating locations while supplies last.

[Lunchbox]

Sorry. The pen wasn't working. I had to write the time down.

[Sizzin]

Nothing better than dead air. Well, a tease. And then also. That never gets paid off with dead air.

[Lunchbox]

We pull up to the house, getting out of the car, and baby box to. I forgot the crystal. I forgot the crystal.

[Sizzin]

Well, now James has himself a lucky pocket crystal.

[Lunchbox]

And he immediately.

[Sizzin]

Oh, my God.

[Lunchbox]

That crystal and baby box one. I told you you were gonna lose it. You're buying me a new one. With your own money, you're buying me a new one. And they're yelling at each other. Baby Box 2 is feeling extremely guilty. He is crying. He runs to the side of the house. I'm like, dude, get inside. You got to go poop. Because at that point, I'd rather him have pooped his pants and go back in that bathroom. So we drove home.

[Sizzin]

They left the crystal in the bathroom?

[Lunchbox]

No, he left it on the table. Oh.

[Sizzin]

Because they always say, blood diamonds. Blood is what this was. Poop diamond.

[Lunchbox]

Dude, I would have never gone and looked for it. I would have never. And so I'm like, all right, let me call the restaurant. Hey, leo.

[Sizzin]

Not already, DiCaprio. I got a movie idea for you. Poop crystal, Guys. Blood diamond. Hell of a movie.

[Lunchbox]

I've heard it's really good. Never seen it, but. I want to apologize, everybody, this morning about our talk about all the poop. But this. I mean, it's a. It's a real story. This is real life. This is what happened on Wednesday. And so I called the restaurant, and let me tell you, when we left, there was four people eating there. 4. Four people in this whole restaurant.

[Sizzin]

You've actually painted a beautiful picture. I can see the exact one we used to go to on the west side.

[Lunchbox]

That's the one I went to.

[Sizzin]

It is?

[Lunchbox]

Yeah. Right by the bluffs, man.

[Sizzin]

Oh, my gosh. It was good before the panty.

[Lunchbox]

Right, right, right at the bluffs.

[Sizzin]

Manny, hit. They realized that. That ubereats takes over their customer base. Doesn't even matter in person. Yeah, they just serve out those wings, throw it at doordash.

[Lunchbox]

You exit, you take a left, and the bluffs are on the. You know, the bluffs are on the right. So you take a left. Yeah, I went to that one. And I call, and I'll tell you, four people eating in the restaurant rings Rings.

[Sizzin]

Hey, not in 2019. There was. If there was a bartender, she was hustling and slanging and you weren't leaving there in anywhere under four hours. You know what I mean? Truckers. Yeah. There was more to watch than the TVs. And there was also not Papa Shot. There was Golden Tea. So we would do that and we'd have our food on a side table with the apps. Love the apps. While we're playing Golden Tea. While I'm betting on the TVs, and this is a Friday, I can't even tell you what happened on a Saturday night. Used to be phenomenal. No idea what happened. And in 2020. Aka the panty.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah. So it answers, it says, hi, thank you for calling. If you'd like to place a to go order, it's a lot easier if you go to our website. If you'd like to speak to one of our team members, please hold on the line. And then it comes. We're too busy to take your call. Goodbye. Ah.

[Sizzin]

I'm like, what were you gonna accomplish with that?

[Lunchbox]

I'm calling about the crystal, man.

[Sizzin]

Oh, I thought you were gonna complain.

[Lunchbox]

I was calling.

[Sizzin]

Okay, my bad.

[Lunchbox]

I'm trying to catch them before they bust that table. Because the crystal is sitting there on the table.

[Sizzin]

I mean, they weren't moving very fast.

[Lunchbox]

Exactly.

[Sizzin]

You should be okay.

[Lunchbox]

There's only three people working in that entire restaurant.

[Sizzin]

You could almost, if you left right then make it back before that table's even touched.

[Lunchbox]

100%. So I called back a second time. Ring, ring. Thank you for calling. If you're trying to place a go order, it's easier on our website, but if you'd like to talk to a team member, please hold on the line.

[Sizzin]

We have a manager just sitting at a booth with his laptop open. Usually he's not even doing anything work related. So he's pretty wide open.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, he's got a lot of times. And because we've only got four customers in here. But that's okay. You can hold on the line. We are too busy to take your call. Goodbye. And it hangs up.

[Sizzin]

We have a manager who is eating wings for six out of the seven meals of the week so far, and he violently craps during his breaks.

[Lunchbox]

So I said, screw it. I'll just make it back there in time. I jump in the vehicle and I drive. And I'm five minutes into the drive, I'm like, I'm gonna try to call him one more time. Thank you for calling. If you're trying to place us to go order. It's easier on our website. If you'd like to speak to a team member, please hold on the line.

[Sizzin]

Hello, Please say your name.

[Lunchbox]

Thank you for calling, how can I help you? Hey, man, I was just in there with my three boys. We were sitting kind of in the middle section, one of those booths under the TVs and one of them left a chrysalis.

[Sizzin]

Yeah, yeah, hold on a second, buddy. All right. Sorry about that morning breakfast, you know how it is.

[Lunchbox]

And he goes, I got it in my pocket.

[Sizzin]

Would you mind taking it out?

[Lunchbox]

I said, oh man, you're a hero. I'm on my way to get it right now. See, in a couple. And I show up and he's outside front smoking a cigarette right there in front of the front door of the restaurant. And he goes, I didn't know what it was, man, but I saw it and I said, that sure is beautiful. Someone's gonna miss that. So I put it in my pocket instead of the trash and I said, man, you don't even know the. The fight and the anger and the sad and the tears that you just saved me. We had a little bit of tears, but now that we got it back, I think those tears and the emotions are going to be better. I want to say thank you, man. He goes, you're welcome.

[Sizzin]

More fluids going on at the house than in you guys bathroom. And it's only not even noon. Have a good day, sir.

[Lunchbox]

Thanks for the crystal. But now do you mind go clean the bathroom, man.

[Sizzin]

Man, I saw that crystal and I knew my luck was about to change, man. I love power crystals.

[Lunchbox]

And that then I drove home, didn't call and tell my wife. Didn't call to tell her to the kids, hey, I got the crystal. No, I just walked in the front door and I mean they come running. Did you get it? Did you get it? And I'm like, sorry guys, but I got it. And that was my trip out with the boys.

[Sizzin]

That's a perfect segue into Ray's first soccer.

[Lunchbox]

Soccer game.

[Sizzin]

Break or no break?

[Lunchbox]

No, we can. You wanna break? How long is it a.

[Sizzin]

Is it a. Oh, it's a phenomenal story.

[Lunchbox]

We'll take a break. We'll be right back.

[Commercial Voice]

When you own your own business, you need to keep things moving. Need to book a last minute flight. Earn a $300 travel credit to cover that. Need to take a meeting before takeoff. Do it from the comfort of the Chase Sapphire lounge by the club. Need to catch your breath before you board. Done. Chase Sapphire reserved for Business the business card that gives back all you put in. Visit chase.com Reserve Business to learn more. Cards issued by JP Morgan Chase Bank. Any member of DIC subject to credit approval terms apply.

[Commercial Voice 2]

This year it's pop's turn for a laugh. So celebrate Father's Day with a gift that really pops. A customized Funko Pop of him. First, think of all the things that make your dad the man. Then turn those ideas into a personalized Funko Pop. Select hair, clothing and skin tone options to match his fit. Don't forget to show off his favorite hobbies and sports with amazing accessories. You can even add his best friend. Start Creating [e-mail] Be unique, not anyone else.

[Lunchbox]

Express it now. Just pop yourself.

[Bethenny Frankel]

That's funko.com this is Bethenny Frankel from Just Be with Bethenny Frankel. My babies, Biggie and Smalls get the best of everything. So I am excited to make Chewy. My go to. Chewy has it all and it ships fast. They also handle the serious stuff like prescriptions, pet insurance and telehealth vet visits. And their 247 customer service actually understands dog moms like me. And it's not just for dogs and cats. No matter what kind of pet parent you are, Chewy makes everything feel easy and personal. For life with pets, the answer is chewy. Save $20 on your first order with free shipping at chewpanions.chewy.com JustBe Taco Bell's

[Podcast Announcer]

new jalapeno citrus Salsa adds a tangy twist to the Cantina chick menu. A sweet and spicy, bright citrusy burst of flavor made with real red jalapenos and guajillo chilies. Try it with a rolled quesadilla and you will absolutely be. Well, I don't want to give it away. You need to try it for yourself. New Jalapeno Citrus Salsa. The sauce with main character energy. Get it with anything on the Cantina Chicken menu for a limited time only at Taco Bell at participating locations. While supplies last.

[Lunchbox]

Hit me with it.

[Sizzin]

I was gonna say that won't take that long. Oh, guys. So I get an email.

[Lunchbox]

Hey, it's phenomenal but short. Okay.

[Sizzin]

I get an email from Nashville SC on Saturday and they say sizzle. Do you want to go to your first soccer game? It's on us. Two tickets. No way.

[Lunchbox]

Yes.

[Sizzin]

It was as easy as clicking through a couple things. I got two $25 tickets.

[Lunchbox]

Wow.

[Sizzin]

Yeah.

[Lunchbox]

What section you're sitting in?

[Sizzin]

Dude, it was standing.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, so you. You were in the supporter section? Yes, Were they doing the drums and all that? And the people are standing on the towers and leading the chants. Sure you didn't go?

[Sizzin]

So I get the email, jump on it. And they email me these tickets, like lickety split, Nashville SC versus New York.

[Lunchbox]

That's who we play, dude. New York City, the concrete jungle world dreams are made of.

[Sizzin]

And I said, bazer, I got us two tickets to Nashville SC and I'm gonna sell them on tick pic. Oh my God, she's not going to a soccer game. It's an hour drive from us and it was raining all day.

[Lunchbox]

It was absolutely beautiful. On Saturday night it might have been 70 degrees, a nice cool breeze. It was absolutely perfect soccer weather. And you go to the game and let me tell you, we go. You could not tell that it had been monsooning for like five days straight. Field dries, well, they are very smart with their turf management. Pitch. Sorry, Pitch.

[Sizzin]

You son of a.

[Lunchbox]

I'm telling you, it was phenomenal.

[Sizzin]

So I, I didn't want baser to think I was doing any funny business. I said, hey, I'm gonna be on some websites here doing some handing over money then, you know, some moving of stuff, assets. I said, listen, I got two tickets sent to me for free. I'm selling them. They let you transfer the tickets. They don't let you sell them on their site, but you can transfer them. So pick, tick, pick.

[Lunchbox]

Boom.

[Sizzin]

Listed them, full price, didn't sell. Wait a couple hours, still didn't sell. Drop Those suckers to $10 each, $12 each, and they sold like, boom. 2:00pm in the afternoon, I get an email, your tickets have sold. You made $10 a ticket. I made $20. Sold my Nashville SC tickets and I still haven't been to a game, but hell of a promo that they got where they just send you free tickets to these Nashville lights, dude. And whoever went, her name was Jessica, but it was the guy's name was different than the email. But I think Jessica, she got two tickets, great price, half price. And I'm sure they had fun at the supporters section. And how do we do? Do we win? What do we do?

[Lunchbox]

Oh, dude, we won again. We won 2 to 1. I mean, phenomenal. We've been injured. We, I don't know how we keep winning. Our depth is better than it's ever been. Our coach is amazing and we battled. We score one, they tied up, we score another two, one, we win the freaking game. And let me tell you, man, my kids are into getting autographs. They got their little hats, they get Signed. And they wear them to every game. And they got them in the car. And we get in the gate, and we go in the bathroom because everybody's got to pee before the game starts. And baby box two looks at me, goes, I forgot my hat. The car. He starts having a meltdown. I'm like, no, pro shop, my ass. Pro shop, my ass. Pro shop, my ass. We ain't going to no pro shop. I'm like, I'm sorry, bud. You can have him sign your shirt. And he's crying. It's like, it's okay. He's like. And my oldest goes, dad, why don't you just go back to the car and get it? I'm like, I'm not walking the 15 minutes back to the car for this hat that it's your responsibility to bring to the game. Like, if you want to bring it, you bring it.

[Sizzin]

That's why they made this 8 by 8 room. That when you first walk into a venue that has tons of bright colors, that's called a pro shop, when your chick gets her purse taken up, when it starts raining, when your chick didn't bring enough sweatshirts or clothes or stuff for their skirts, and when your kid forgets their hat, that's why the pro shop was invented.

[Lunchbox]

And that's why we walked by the Bro Shop and said, we ain't going there, baser.

[Sizzin]

And I got a cute $60 Titan sweatshirt. Awesome. I'm guaranteeing you'll never wear that color again. Like what? Extra large only sweatshirt they had? Like, what?

[Lunchbox]

You know, if you go to the sporting goods store down the street, that's $25. Yeah. But I can say I got it at the stadium.

[Sizzin]

Like, winner in Gatlinburg. And we're freezing in a bar. Random story. But baser. Oh, there's a shop right next door. It's a little merchandise shop. Gatlinburg. Goes in there, gets a $60 sweater of two bears. I will literally never wear that ever again. And I still haven't to this day. And that was seven years ago. I said, bazer, never will I ever reach for the extra extra large hoodie you got at the merchandise store in Gatlinburg. That is literally two bears each other.

[Lunchbox]

That's why when you go to San Francisco, if you've ever been to San Francisco, you don't realize how cold it is. So you see every idiot in matching San Francisco sweatshirts. Welcome to San Francisco. Welcome to the Golden Gate Bridge, San Francisco. The goal. Whatever. They all have the matching sweatshirts because guess what? They show up to San Francisco without sweatshirts, and it's cold. And they all got to go to those little merchandise stores and buy the sweatshirts.

[Sizzin]

Horrible planners.

[Lunchbox]

Luckily, my wife and I, she has a friend that lives in San Francisco. When we were going, and she told us, hey, you guys don't realize how cold it gets in San Francisco. Bring a sweatshirt. So us, we looked like locals. Everybody else, tourists. Tourists. But anyway, so he starts crying. I'm like, it's okay. It's okay. We go to the bathroom, and he walks out and he sees mom, and he goes up to her with those little eyes. He gives those crocodile tears. He's like, I forgot my hat in the car. I mean, the odds that they're going to sign autographs. They don't sign them every game. I don't know.

[Sizzin]

I see these pros. Jalen Brunson, he was signing for all the kids.

[Lunchbox]

That's great. He's got time on his hands because the NBA Finals doesn't start for another 12 days.

[Sizzin]

Thanks, Wimby.

[Lunchbox]

They just been resting, and luckily they were handing out these posters with the mascot Tempo. And it was all about this reading challenge for the summer. And it gave all the instructions. So we got him one of those. And we go and we sit down, we watch the game. And at the end of the game, they run down where the players come out or go into the locker room. And some of them come over and sign. He got his poster.

[Sizzin]

Sign.

[Lunchbox]

And then here comes Hani Mukhtar.

[Sizzin]

What about Surge? Is he playing?

[Lunchbox]

Surge did make an appearance for about 18 minutes on Saturday night. He did come back and play. He's been out with a back injury. They got him a little bit of game time. Don't want to push him too much. Now we have a month off. We should get absolutely healed. It should be amazing.

[Sizzin]

But Erica or Jessica figured the girl I sold the tickets to, she probably saw that in person.

[Lunchbox]

She did see that in person. He didn't do much when he was on the field. He had a couple touches, but nothing electric or anything. But it was good to see him back out there. He got the standing O when he went in.

[Sizzin]

Come on, Surge. Touch me or touch the ball.

[Lunchbox]

And so we. We're all down there. They're getting signatures. And here comes Honeymoor and Baby Box three. Hands him his hat, signs it Baby Box two, hands him his poster. He signs it. He gets the baby box one. And he's like, high five. He gets a high five.

[Sizzin]

I didn't know they're all related.

[Lunchbox]

No, no. My son pulled his hat back. I'm like, dude, what are you doing?

[Sizzin]

Your son made the critical last second error.

[Lunchbox]

And he's like, oh, no. Remember, dad? We met him at that pizza place and we already got his signature. And I'm like, yeah, that was on your shirt. He goes, yeah. So he goes, no, I'm pretty sure he signed my hat. So he's on here somewhere. I'm like, you don't ever just say no. Like, just get him to sign it. It's okay to have it twice. He goes, no, I'm good. I only need it once on the hat. But lo and behold, he doesn't know it's not on his hat. And he's the star, and he's the star. And he literally, hey, honeymootar. Looked at him like, what, you don't want me to sign?

[Sizzin]

He hit it. It goes with the high five.

[Lunchbox]

The high five. He literally was like, honeymoo tar gets to his hat. And he goes. He pulled it back and goes, high five. And got the high five.

[Sizzin]

It's like what the Colorado Rockies did one time. They said, fan day. You go down there. I was, whatever, eight fan day. But no pens. And there was no such thing as cameras back then. I mean, unless you were rich. So what did I do? Shook hands with everybody on the team.

[Lunchbox]

That's pretty cool.

[Sizzin]

I know. But no. Andres Galarraga, Dante Bichette, Vinny Castilla.

[Lunchbox]

That's pretty cool.

[Sizzin]

Eric Young, Ellis Bergs, Don Baylor, Walt Weiss. I shook their hands.

[Lunchbox]

Wow.

[Sizzin]

Hey. Oh, how's it going?

[Lunchbox]

Hey, man. Nice to meet you.

[Sizzin]

I come by and shake all their hands. Dad, thanks for bringing a camera. I don't do photography. Your mom's the one that does the cameras. I thought they'd be signing genius. I give that to any team in the country. Do a fan day, and they'll think they're going to do autographs and crap and be like, no pictures, no autographs. And then they have to, like, shake people's hands and talk to him. It's just memories. Priceless memories.

[Lunchbox]

It is. That is pretty good.

[Sizzin]

That you can't sell on a secondhand shop.

[Lunchbox]

Boom and that. I mean, I'm telling you that. So your first game, that was our game experience. I was wondering. I was like, man, I didn't see you there. I was looking.

[Sizzin]

Jessica was there.

[Lunchbox]

She looks like she had a good time. We'll take a break. We'll be right back.

[Commercial Voice]

When you own your own business, you need to keep things moving. Need to book a last minute flight. Earn a $300 travel credit to cover that. Need to take a meeting before takeoff? Do it from the comfort of the Chase Sapphire Lounge by the club. Need to catch your breath before you board? Done. Chase Sapphire Reserve for Business the business card that gives back all you put in. Visit chase.com ReserveBusiness to learn more. Cards issued by JPMorgan Chase bank any member of DIC subject to credit approval

[Commercial Voice 2]

terms apply this year it's pop's turn for a laugh. So celebrate Father's Day with a gift that really pops a customized Funko Pop of him. First. Think of all the things that make your dad the man. Then turn those ideas into a personalized Funko Pop. Select hair, clothing and skin tone options to match his fit. Don't forget to show off his favorite hobbies and sports with amazing accessories. You can even add his best friend. Start Creating [e-mail] Be unique, not anyone else.

[Lunchbox]

Express it now. Just pop yourself.

[Bethenny Frankel]

That's funko.com this is Bethenny Frankel from Just Be with Bethenny Frankel. Biggie and Smalls are my little soulmates and I love them in that ridiculous way only pet people understand. That is why I am so excited to try Chewy. They have over a hundred thousand products, all the food, treats, toys, supplements my boys could ever need. Everything ships fast, which is huge. Chewy also handles the serious stuff. Prescriptions, pet insurance, telehealth, vet visits, and they're even opening vet clinics across the country. Brilliant. And their 247 customer service feels like talking to people who truly get it. The kind of people who understand why you would buy insane dog costumes and not get judged for it. Plus the one year satisfaction guarantee means if my boys turn their noses up at something, I can return it with no stress. So excited for how Chewy helps me take care of Biggie and Smalls so I can focus on loving them the way I do. For life with pets, the answer is chewy. Save $20 on your first order with free shipping at chewpanions.chewy.com JustBee this is

[Podcast Announcer]

Ashley from the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast. You know what's become a literal nightmare lately?

[Lunchbox]

International travel.

[Bethenny Frankel]

Why sit on a plane for 14

[Lunchbox]

hours to get to Lake Como when you could be having the time of your life at Caesars Republic in beautiful Lake Tahoe? Caesars Republic Lake Tahoe has it all. Incredible dining, amazing entertainment, gaming, fun on the lake and more. And it's right in your backyard. Caesars Republic Lake Tahoe Book Today oh, dude. Can I just tell you? No way.

[Sizzin]

You thought I actually went. I would have hit you off.

[Lunchbox]

No, no, I literally thought you went.

[Sizzin]

The second they sent me those tickets, I'm like, yep, selling these.

[Lunchbox]

I literally was so excited that you actually went.

[Sizzin]

I was, too. When I woke up and it said, do you want to go to your first game? And I said, nope, but I want to sell today. Nope, but I'm down to get on a third party website. How hard are these going to be to sell? I took a couple hours, dropped the price, made 20.

[Lunchbox]

I can I just tell you, since Wednesday, I was like, man, I can't wait to hear his experience. Like, I wonder what him and Bazer did. Like, how did they get there? They Uber. Did they? Oh, my. Who did they go with?

[Sizzin]

They go, if I lived in that part of town and if we were soccer fans and if it wasn't raining, I would have thought about it. All those other variables were in play. I said, no way.

[Lunchbox]

So anyway, I got to talk about.

[Sizzin]

I don't do rowing. I ain't going.

[Lunchbox]

No. Your name's Rowan. You're not going, Rowan. No. Have you been following the drama with Texas? Texas Tech football?

[Sizzin]

I've been following Texas Tech softball and Mike Miller or whatever. White Chocolate and his daughter plays for the team.

[Lunchbox]

Jason Williams. No. So Steve Sarkeesian went on, I don't know it was at SEC media days or what he was at, but he talked about how, oh, there's a one school in Texas has a much easier schedule and they'll probably make it to the playoff because they don't have to play such hard teams. And he was talking about Texas Tech. And Texas Tech coach goes, we'll play you. Let's go. We'll play.

[Sizzin]

Because they got a lot of money.

[Lunchbox]

They got a lot of money. We'll play you first week of the season. But they already both have games scheduled against Texas State and Abilene Christian. Well, now the Texas Tech booster said, hey, I'll pay the buyout fee. Texas agree to play us, and I'll pay for your buyout fee against your opponent. And I'll pay for the one. We'll pay. Week one, this is going to be better. And lsu, Ole Miss, this is now, if Texas doesn't play them, they look like little bees. Steve Sarkeesian opened his mouth and said, hey. And now Texas Tech put their nuts on the table and said, let's go. We will play you. We are not scared if Texas does not play them. They look like such little beasts.

[Sizzin]

I saw this on the ESPN tab, and I didn't think it was clickable. I clicked on some.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, it's clickable.

[Sizzin]

Oh, I should have. They didn't do a good job with the headline Joey Mack. I was like, oh, Sarkeesian made some comments. They didn't say two teams want to play each other because of said comments.

[Lunchbox]

I mean, Joey Mackay came out, said, we'll play you week one. I mean, where. Where. What can you do now if you're Texas, you're backed into a corner, you look scared, or you go play them. I mean, and you lose. I mean, you have to play them. You run your mouth, you better back it up. Don't let your mouth write a book. What is it? Yeah, don't let your mouth write a check your ass can't cash at the restaurant restroom. I want them to play so bad.

[Sizzin]

Well, they're not going to.

[Lunchbox]

They're not going to because Texas is scary.

[Sizzin]

And also, it's a battle of who can do the easiest schedule because we're letting in 12 teams 100%.

[Lunchbox]

That's an extra loss you could have, right?

[Sizzin]

And it's all about. I mean, we learned already. Just go, like, who all made. It was like, Tulane was in, but it was because of their conference. There was like, James Madison was.

[Lunchbox]

James Madison was in.

[Sizzin]

Tulane was.

[Lunchbox]

It. Was it.

[Sizzin]

Yeah, dude. It was all about, you don't want, like, the three losses, so just do some easy ones. You don't want to play in the championship game.

[Lunchbox]

You don't want to be good enough

[Sizzin]

to play in the conference champions.

[Lunchbox]

Just miss the conference championship so you can get in. Like, that's what you want. But Texas, you ran your mouth. Big boys. Come and get some of that. Texas. There's like, we'll play you at Texas Stadium. We'll play at Jerry World. Let's go.

[Sizzin]

That's a cool coach. I've seen him interviewed on Mac.

[Lunchbox]

He's so good.

[Sizzin]

And he's like, he. I've heard he has a group text with all the players. They all just, you know, it's like, he's great at communicating. And, like, if you have a group text with your coach and they all just talk on there, that's pretty cool, right?

[Lunchbox]

Really cool. Like, really freaking cool.

[Sizzin]

Like, I'm sure they're not totally real with him on there, but that is.

[Lunchbox]

They're probably not telling him exactly everything they're doing on the weekend, but.

[Sizzin]

Hey, coach, look who I knocked back this weekend.

[Lunchbox]

Hey, coacher, check what I'm doing. Hey, sorry. I'm late for practice. I got this dime piece of my bed. And he's like, oh, that's cool, man. Don't worry about being late.

[Sizzin]

Hey, coach. Little hungover, ended up getting the Golden Arch. Be at practice, 10 minutes late.

[Lunchbox]

Hey, coach. Picking up McDonald's on my way in. You want anything? Hey, Texas. Balls in your court.

[Sizzin]

Bulls.

[Lunchbox]

Balls in your court. And speaking of ball, we got what you wanted, Ray. Game freaking seven.

[Sizzin]

That's a segue.

[Lunchbox]

Game freaking seven.

[Sizzin]

I hate to say I'm Nostradamus. I hate to say I'm.

[Lunchbox]

I'm Einstein.

[Sizzin]

I'm Le Batard. I'm really smart.

[Lunchbox]

No, not Levitard.

[Sizzin]

No, I'm. I was trying to do smart. I'm. I know. Kenneth. Kenneth Farsno. My name's for Isno. I know, terrible. But I said game seven. I said, it's going to be a win loss. And I didn't know it was going to be win by 20. Next team wins by 20. Next team wins by twenty. Talk about not competitive. We got a game seven. I guess with the structure of basketball and shooting threes and runs, there's never now close games. It's the new thing with basketball.

[Lunchbox]

I will say games one and two were close.

[Sizzin]

What is happening?

[Lunchbox]

Games one and two were close. And then every the game since it has been a blowout. Whoever wins, wins by a lot. Hasn't been exciting, but.

[Sizzin]

But I was wrong. It's not Sunday, it's Saturday.

[Lunchbox]

I was too.

[Sizzin]

Saturday is must see TV. Saturday night, 7pm If I don't watch that, every minute of it, take my man card.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, I already pissed batter's box off. Already pissed him off. I called him after the game last night. I'm like, dude, what? The game's on Saturday. I thought for sure it would be on Sunday because they'd want more viewers. He's like, no, it's on Saturday. And I was like, we have a birthday party Saturday at 7.

[Sizzin]

Dance. Is it your own kid?

[Lunchbox]

And he goes, what do you mean? I said, oh, it's one of the neighbors. He goes, who has a party at 7 o' clock on a Saturday? I said, no, it's an adult party. He goes, oh, you do not go to that.

[Sizzin]

Cancel it.

[Lunchbox]

And I said, nah, man, I don't know. We already rsvp yes. He goes, honey, do you hear this crap? He's talking to his wife. Do you hear this? He's going to go to a neighbor's adult birthday party instead of watching his favorite team, the Spurs. And she's like, well, he's like, that's inexcusable. That's inexcusable. Like, this dude doesn't even watch sports anymore. Like, how are you gonna. Like, they'll understand. Just, it's not even that cool of a birthday party. I bet. I'm like, well, I mean, I don't know. They said they were gonna, you know, have, you know, a, a, A DJ or something. Who cares about a DJ and the

[Sizzin]

spurs fandom right now? I'm not saying bandwagoners, but good gosh, like, Eddie's. The other guy is a Spurs fan. You're a Spurs fan? Your brother's a Spurs fan?

[Lunchbox]

Yeah.

[Sizzin]

Billy is a Spurs fan. Greg Stanzlowski is a Spurs fan. Kip Moore, I learned off Mike is a Spurs fan.

[Lunchbox]

Dude, big spurs fan.

[Sizzin]

What is I.

[Lunchbox]

That he's talking. Every time I've talked to him, he's talked about the Spurs.

[Sizzin]

What I'm telling you, it's not bandwagon. But my point is this. It's all the more reason for me to root that hard against the Spurs. I freaking hate the Spurs.

[Lunchbox]

I know you. At the very beginning of the playoffs, you said, I can't have the spurs win all those games.

[Sizzin]

Well, they did, though. But, but then I did predict him to win it all. But I hate them that much. They have to lose. Like all these people like this. Stop.

[Lunchbox]

Well, you, you're.

[Sizzin]

You're batter the box likes the Spurs.

[Lunchbox]

Yes.

[Sizzin]

Oh, wallow.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, I was texting him and his dad. They like the last two games we've been texting.

[Sizzin]

That's. I'm done. I'm done. I'm rooting so hard. Me and six white claws are rooting so hard against the spurs on Saturday night.

[Lunchbox]

Here's what I want. I need the spurs to win.

[Sizzin]

But say you place the bet. No, no, I need them to lose, Ray. But to get plus four, I need

[Lunchbox]

the spurs to win and I need it to be a close game. Please, no blowout. Like, I want it to come down to the last three minutes and the spurs win a thrilling game. No, it won't be a blowout because the two best teams in my opinion in the NBA and they play amazing basketball. But it seems like after the first two games, only one team plays good at a time. But these are teams are phenomenal.

[Sizzin]

If you can bet it, I would bet it's going to be a four point game. It'll be the closest one of the series. So if that's a bet, do it.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah. And I can't wait.

[Sizzin]

Don't know who's winning it, but I'll tell you one, it's only going to be a four point game.

[Lunchbox]

But I will tell you Wimby still shot like eight three pointers and we need to stop shooting three pointers. I know you made a few, but good God, please stop. But I will tell you the one thing the spurs did well.

[Sizzin]

Tell the fans also to stop being stupid. When he gets the ball around the three point line, they start standing up and raising their hands. Guys, don't encourage him to do that. That's not his shot.

[Lunchbox]

I will say the one thing the spurs did that I thought was freaking genius. We used to play Wimby the first nine minutes of the quarter and then take him out the last three minutes. Now we only played him five or six minutes.

[Sizzin]

That's what Bill got him out. That's what Bill Hill does with Boomer

[Lunchbox]

got him out earlier. So he's not getting as exhausted. Those nine minute stretches, he was just worn out. He looked like he had so much energy last night. It was great.

[Sizzin]

That's what the great Bill Hill did.

[Lunchbox]

Game seven, you and I, road trip, Oklahoma City. We got to be there.

[Sizzin]

I mean, yeah, we'll be going to Oklahoma City. But you're not going to. Not for that reason.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, we're not really going to go. Just joking.

[Sizzin]

No, no, no, we're not going to. If we. It will be Oklahoma City. You're correct.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, for the NBA Finals.

[Sizzin]

Yeah. What were you saying?

[Lunchbox]

We're going to game seven. Dude, we got to, we got to leave today.

[Sizzin]

I didn't know if you're talking about the softball tournament. And then I.

[Lunchbox]

City.

[Sizzin]

Yeah. Oh, that's what our whole discussion was the other day about how busy that city.

[Lunchbox]

You're right. And someone said it's really awesome.

[Sizzin]

And I thought of the third thing that's happening the same time in Nashville.

[Lunchbox]

What?

[Sizzin]

The construction. So it's CMA Fest, it's the construction and it's Nashville soccer there. Anytime a city has two or three things at the same time, it's a bottleneck.

[Lunchbox]

Question. Do you want to go on June 8? Japan is having an open practice at Giottis, the national for the World Cup. That's their headquarters. Do you Want to go?

[Sizzin]

6 is a Saturday set. That's a Monday. Hell no.

[Lunchbox]

Okay. I think it's. I think it was June 8th. I gotta look. But yeah. And so then batter's box was real pissed at me when I kept talking about the birthday parts. Like Idiot. There is no birthday party goes. Oh my God. Oh my God. I can't with you. I thought you were seriously gonna go to a birthday party over the Spurs. There's no damn birthday party.

[Sizzin]

You had me.

[Lunchbox]

I know, but that's what I do to him because he acts like I don't watch the games. You want one little email before we go? Yeah. Coachers, what's up? I would like to give a special shout out to my wife Katie. Today, May 29th, we celebrate 10 years of marriage. Could not ask for a better wife.

[Sizzin]

How many years faithful.

[Lunchbox]

Thanks for being the best coach out there. Love, Chris Mabe, aa, AKA the Nose. Well, why do you need our pod? You got your own pod to give her a shout out. We're out. Hey guys, have a great weekend. Enjoy game seven and remember this when you're watching the game. Go spurs, go. Say it with me. Go spurs, go.

[Sizzin]

Adios. And guys, I'm gonna have to start my own podcast to talk about this menary Menzel fight since we're never gonna get to it.

[Lunchbox]

Go ahead, talk about it.

[Sizzin]

No, I'm gonna do a spin off podcast, okay. So I can talk about stuff that I want to talk.

[Lunchbox]

Was it entertaining?

[Sizzin]

It only lasts a minute. I was laughing my butt off though, because they neither one of them trained and they both stayed up till 4am in Vegas at Red Rock, partying the

[Lunchbox]

night before with each other. So they're friends?

[Sizzin]

They're friends. But Manziel was kicking like Manzo.

[Lunchbox]

I saw him kicking, dude.

[Sizzin]

How funny is that?

[Lunchbox]

Let me tell you. Manziel was pasty white.

[Sizzin]

They both were really white and significantly overweight. People said it looked like two sour cream tubes fighting each other.

[Lunchbox]

That's funny comparison.

[Sizzin]

And Bob Bennery just does Adderall. And so like his training consisted of. He would walk around this one guy who has a mansion and he would jump on his counters. Like the Adderall made him do that. So he didn't do any training, which it showed in the ring, but he would just jump on counters like he would leapfrog. And so I commented on one of his posts. I was like, dude, why didn't you ever release the leapfrog in the ring? You practiced it on ADDERall the last two weeks. Where was the leapfrog like in a ring? When are you ever gonna use the leapfrog move?

[Lunchbox]

Question, how much they get paid for that memory?

[Sizzin]

Just posted this morning. Not bad. One minute of my time and to get some punches to the face for 1 million. Not a bad day's work. I know he got some because, well, he didn't get a million, but he paid off some of the debts he had. He paid. Steve will do it. 130,000 that he owed him. And then a couple people on. He randomly owed people on Twitter and they're like, yep, Bob Mary paid me 30,000 today. Another guy, yup, Bob Menary paid me 20,000 today. So he covered up whatever five debts that he had. So I think he got like a quarter of a million.

[Lunchbox]

I want to say it's not bad. Not bad. All right, man, we'll see you Monday. We got to go, man. We already said bye. Have a great weekend, guys. We. Hey, thank you. Thank you.

[Sizzin]

Adios.

[Lunchbox]

Go spurs, go. Go spurs, go. Go spurs, go. Go spurs, go.

[Sizzin]

I may go to that sports bar and watch it.

[Lunchbox]

You should, dude. It's available.

[Sizzin]

Will they have it on the tv?

[Lunchbox]

Probably not, but plenty of room available. And the toilet is off limits.

[Sizzin]

Bazer. Hey, I gotta go use the restroom for a second. No.

[Lunchbox]

What's up, cousin? I want a new phone. Have you seen any good deals? Everyone has free phones. But when I switch to to T

[Podcast Announcer]

Mobile, I got more value and so much more.

[Sizzin]

Live streaming included and travel benefits.

[Lunchbox]

And the best part, the price of your talk, text and data is guaranteed for 5 years.

[Sizzin]

Get more benefits and more value at T Mobile Family Save and get a 5 year price guarantee. Switch now@t mobile.com Qualifying plan requires price guarantee on DOC tax and theta exclusions like taxes and fees apply. See t mobile.com if you work in university maintenance, Grainger considers you an MVP because your playbook ensures your arena is always ready for tip off. And Grainger is your trusted partner, offering the products you need all in one place. From H Vac and plumbing supplies to lighting and more. And all delivered with plenty of time left on the clock. So your team always gets the win. Call 1-800-GRAINGER visit grainger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done. You know how it's never really about where you're going, it's about who you're going with. The right people can turn any drive into a great memory. That's something Toyota really believes. They design vehicles around real life and real people. The ones who make plans happen and bring everyone together inside. Everything's built with passengers in mind. Comfortable seating, smart layouts and space that actually works so everyone can relax and enjoy the ride. There's room for the people, room for the stuff, and room for the moments that happen along the way, because when people are the destination, your ride is important. Learn [e-mail] and find the vehicle that fits your people.

[Guest or Minor Speaker]

When Kohler, global design leader in luxurious kitchen and bath products, asked me to be their ambassador for timeless, elegant, durable cast iron, I said, I'm in. Soon after, I was in their Kohler, Wisconsin foundry watching molten iron, poured, enamel applied by hand, and the beautiful finished pieces ready to ship. Since 1883, Kohler cast iron has been crafted by incredible artisans, and seeing it firsthand gave me a whole new appreciation for their craftsmanship. Now I am proud to lend my stamp of approval to my favorite Kohler cast iron products for their durability, beauty and enduring style. Shop my curated [e-mail] as the Kohler Cast Iron Ambassador, I say, long live cast Iron.

[Podcast Announcer]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.