SORE LOSERS: WOW! First Time In 10 Years This Happened!

Summary

Podcast Summary: "SORE LOSERS: WOW! First Time In 10 Years This Happened!"

Podcast Information:

• Title: The Bobby Bones Show
• Host/Author: Premiere Networks
• Episode: SORE LOSERS: WOW! First Time In 10 Years This Happened!
• Release Date: April 26, 2025

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Introduction

In this engaging episode of The Bobby Bones Show, hosts Ryan Seacrest and Lunchbox delve into a memorable golf outing that marked a decade since their last significant event. The episode, titled "SORE LOSERS: WOW! First Time In 10 Years This Happened!", is filled with humor, unexpected twists, and relatable anecdotes that resonate with both avid golfers and casual listeners alike.

The Golf Outing Gone Awry

[01:30] Setting the Scene

Ryan Seacrest initiates the episode by recounting a spontaneous invitation from his friend Dodd to join a golf game on short notice. Despite the early evening rain, Ryan agrees, only to face unforeseen challenges en route to the course.

[02:02] Lunchbox's Hectic Preparation

Lunchbox shares his frantic journey to meet Dodd at the golf course. He describes the relentless rain and the rushing required to gather his equipment:

"If we do the pod this long, if I go get my clubs, get on the road, there's no traffic. I. I don't have time to eat lunch. I will just eat my freaking hand and I'll starve to death."
– Lunchbox ([01:42])

[04:06] Challenges with Golf Course Reservations

The hosts discuss the difficulties of securing tee times, highlighting how modern golf courses often refuse one-player reservations, leading to long waits. Ryan reminisces about past tricks to secure a spot:

"You show up and say, oh, they had to cancel 100%."
– Ryan Seacrest ([04:28])

[06:07] Arrival at the Course

Upon arrival, the duo discovers that the course is closed on Mondays, contrary to what Dodd had assured them. This confusion sets the stage for a series of comedic mishaps.

"So then I'm thinking, did I read the text wrong? And he mean next Monday."
– Lunchbox ([14:20])

[15:05] Unexpected Continuation Despite Closure

Surprisingly, Dodd arrives with a golf cart and insists they proceed with the game despite the rain and closure. The tension builds as Lunchbox navigates playing in inclement weather.

"They may get a little wet, but we can still play."
– Dodd (Ryan Seacrest) ([16:19])

[17:00] The Weather's Relentless Assault

As the game progresses, the weather remains uncooperative. The hosts humorously discuss the technicalities of golf in the rain, making light of the situation:

"RPMs are going to be altered a little bit. Velocity rate, exit velocity, launch angle, you'll be good."
– Ryan Seacrest ([17:17])

[22:06] Competitive Spirits and Handicap Discrepancies

Lunchbox elaborates on the competitive dynamics of the game, revealing discrepancies in handicaps that add to the comedic tension:

"Larry, TP, he's a plus six. I'm like, whoa."
– Lunchbox ([22:10])

[29:10] Dressing Disaster

A pivotal moment occurs when Lunchbox faces a wardrobe malfunction:

"No, no. That's not it."
– Lunchbox ([29:35])

He describes his struggle with unzipping shorts in public, leading to a series of humorous exchanges about appearance and propriety.

[31:22] The Result: A Dead Heat

Despite the challenges, the game concludes in a dead heat, leaving both teams without a clear victor. This outcome underscores the unpredictable nature of the outing.

"It was a dead heat. Nine skins to nine skins."
– Lunchbox ([31:27])

Personal Anecdotes and Reflections

[33:26] Hosts Reflect on the Game Dynamics

Ryan and Lunchbox discuss the intricacies of golf scoring, particularly the 'skins' game format, highlighting how it kept the competition tight:

"Skins. And then you also played Scrabble. What is it called?"
– Ryan Seacrest ([33:05])

[43:01] Family Reactions to the Day's Events

The episode takes a heartfelt turn as Lunchbox recounts his family's reaction to his eventful day:

"And I showed my wife my pants and she goes, oh, my gosh. She goes, you're so embarrassing."
– Lunchbox ([43:19])

This moment adds a personal touch, illustrating the balance between personal endeavors and family life.

Storytelling Techniques and Host Chemistry

Throughout the episode, Ryan Seacrest and Lunchbox employ dynamic storytelling techniques, including timing, humor, and relatable mishaps, to engage listeners. Their chemistry is palpable, with playful banter and mutual support enhancing the narrative.

"That's how you hook them in. You bring them in and then you give them a plot twist."
– Lunchbox ([21:22])

The hosts effectively use plot twists and humor to maintain listener interest, transitioning seamlessly between different segments of the story.

Conclusion

The episode culminates with reflections on the day's events and the enduring nature of friendships forged through shared experiences. Despite the myriad challenges faced during the golf outing, the camaraderie between Ryan and Lunchbox remains a central theme.

"Free golf, free dinner, no button, no zipper, no problem."
– Lunchbox ([41:50])

This episode serves as a testament to resilience, humor, and the unpredictability of life’s adventures, offering listeners both laughs and heartfelt moments.

Notable Quotes

• Lunchbox ([01:42]):

  "If we do the pod this long, if I go get my clubs, get on the road, there's no traffic. I. I don't have time to eat lunch. I will just eat my freaking hand and I'll starve to death."

• Ryan Seacrest ([04:28]):

  "You show up and say, oh, they had to cancel 100%."

• Lunchbox ([14:20]):

  "So I'm thinking, did I read the text wrong? And he mean next Monday."

• Ryan Seacrest ([17:17]):

  "RPMs are going to be altered a little bit. Velocity rate, exit velocity, launch angle, you'll be good."

• Lunchbox ([22:10]):

  "Larry, TP, he's a plus six. I'm like, whoa."

• Lunchbox ([29:35]):

  "No, no. That's not it."

• Lunchbox ([31:27]):

  "It was a dead heat. Nine skins to nine skins."

• Lunchbox ([43:19]):

  "And I showed my wife my pants and she goes, oh, my gosh. She goes, you're so embarrassing."

• Lunchbox ([21:22]):

  "That's how you hook them in. You bring them in and then you give them a plot twist."

• Lunchbox ([41:50]):

  "Free golf, free dinner, no button, no zipper, no problem."

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This episode of The Bobby Bones Show masterfully blends humor with relatable storytelling, highlighting the unpredictable nature of social outings and the strength of enduring friendships. Listeners are left entertained and amused by the hosts' ability to find laughter amidst chaos.

Transcript

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[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Lunchbox]

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[Ryan Seacrest]

All right, well we started this once and then Lunchbox had to crap himself.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, Scuba came in. Did you leave that in or did you just keep going?

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, you guys were talking shop. Why in the heck would I leave that in?

[Lunchbox]

I don't know. I have no idea how this pod works. But I do want to say thank you to the listeners for understanding my predicament on Monday and understanding that we had to jet, we had to get, we had to scat, skit, scat, scoodle, do, flee, flop, flow and yeah, how are you man?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Don't ever rap again. Are we going to learn about how the golf went?

[Lunchbox]

Oh, you're going to hear all about it. I mean my buddy calls me on or texts me on Monday. Hey, can you make it to this golf course by 1:15 today? And I mean it's an hour drive and I mean we are talking within minutes, I'm like, okay, let me. If I figure this out, if we do the pod this long, if I go get my clubs, get on the road, there's no traffic. I. I don't have time to eat lunch. I will just eat my freaking hand and I'll starve to death. But I should be able to be there by 1:29. And he said, we can move it to 1:30 if you want. I said, that's perfect. And I said, but it looks like. I mean, it's raining here. He goes, oh, no. No rain here. And even if there is, it looks like it's about to blow over, so no big deal.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Ready for it to blow.

[Lunchbox]

So I'm like, all right. So I left this building and it is raining. The roads are wet, there's rain coming down. And I got to run to the house and get the clubs, and it's still raining.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Enough. Are we going to start the show?

[Lunchbox]

Start the show.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I thought it was a tease.

[Lunchbox]

Start the show since your first time doing radio.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And he started in the hard tell of the story. I was going to say, that was rude of your friend to do that, but Dodd one time hit me up at noon and said, can you play at one? So sometimes guys just get a golf course a time. Wives give them the day out and they gotta play. And I said, dodd, we don't leave this factory till 1. Sorry, times have changed. I'm out. And I haven't got an invite to golf with Dodd since.

[Lunchbox]

It was interesting, though. But he knew he was coming to town for business, so why didn't he give me the heads up like a week ago, hey, I'm gonna be in town on Monday. We're gonna play golf. He just randomly text me at, you know, 10:30 in the morning, hey, can you make it in three hours? I mean, it was very, very short.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Notice when we used to play, all of us together and we were all friends. Did we do tee times at the Muni?

[Lunchbox]

No, we just showed up. Showed up.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That was bad. Because that's trouble. You never even know if you. That's why we waited in a line. It was always kind of annoying.

[Lunchbox]

That is what's really hard about golf nowadays. There's a lot of courses around here. They won't accept a one. Some. If you're gonna play by yourself, they're like, oh, sorry, you can just show up and we'll try to squeeze you in. No, no, I would like to put my name down for a specific time because I don't want to show up at 2:00 and wait for an hour and a half. Like, if you put me on the T sheet, I can show up at 2, play at 2, and get the hell out of there.

[Ryan Seacrest]

But you taught me this trick. You show up and say, oh, they had to cancel 100%.

[Lunchbox]

Now, I always just make it for two.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Genius.

[Lunchbox]

Simple. So simple. Except for there's one that it makes you pay in advance. And I'm like, I can't do that because I don't want to pay for two and then have to not get money back.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Dude, that's what they made Angelina do when we went to our muni. She paid $200. Yeah. We're like, guess how much they charge Bzir to ride.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, not even play? 25 bucks.

[Ryan Seacrest]

25 bucks?

[Lunchbox]

Yeah. Dude, it's crazy.

[Ryan Seacrest]

If it wasn't Easter and I'm being a good dude, and I'm not cheating people anymore. And I'm not lying, cheating, and stealing, robbing from Peter to pay the pimp Piper. Yeah. Since I'm not doing that anymore, I paid it. But I was not happy for 13 holes.

[Lunchbox]

Here's.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I had to pay for that.

[Lunchbox]

Here's what's amazing is how much they charge you to ride in a golf cart. So a, it tells you, a, you need to get enough money and buy a golf cart, or B, you got to start using your legs and walking the course. Because to play the course, it's $17. To ride in a golf cart, it's an extra 25. How is the golf cart more than the golf?

[Ryan Seacrest]

And I know we got to start the show, but we have had multiple issues of carts not being good. Remember when I went with you guys? My cart sucked.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Justin and Angelina's cart sucked.

[Lunchbox]

Really?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Could barely go up the hills.

[Lunchbox]

It means they're not charging them right. Or they're about to give out. Maybe they need some new carts. It's so frustrating, Ray.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Was it leaking something? If you want to get under the hood.

[Lunchbox]

No, it was okay.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It was ice all the beer they had in the back.

[Lunchbox]

Ah, got it. That makes sense. We better start the show, man, because this golf is going to take about. About 30 seconds to tell.

[Ryan Seacrest]

All right, we're going to do it live. Arnold, I remembered he's at Coachella.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, that's what it was. He came back for a few days, and then he said, I'm headed out to Cali, man.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yup. So he is there at Coachella. He will report back. Apparently, he saw Haley Bieber. He saw Bieber. There as well.

[Lunchbox]

Bieber looks rough, dude.

[Ryan Seacrest]

He does. He looks like he's on some drugs.

[Lunchbox]

Multiple.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yep. And so. So Arnold will report back. He. He did enjoy the who set to I. Travis. Travis. No, it was Travis Scott. Travis Scott. He saw Travis Scott.

[Lunchbox]

You know where he went to school? Uta Utsa.

[Ryan Seacrest]

So we'll talk to Arnold about Coachella. Coachella is in California Springs.

[Lunchbox]

I don't. I. I don't know that.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Got a random text from South Beach. He goes, palm Springs is playing the Bobby Bone show, the big show. And I go, coachella? And he goes, damn right. South beach just randomly went to Coachella. Worth 40 years old.

[Lunchbox]

Huh? I didn't realize Coachella was such a thing. I mean, is it really that. Is it that different than, like, ACL or. What's the one in Chicago? Lalapalooza. Are they the exact same thing, or is Coachella something special?

[Ryan Seacrest]

That one. You want those pictures to get there so in 30 years, your kids can see that you were a hippie and cool and hot and all the girls get dressed up for it. Is it anything different than what's the I Heart Fest in Austin? No, I Heart Fest in Austin is probably better, but it's just that it. Thing to do if you're. Especially if you're California, which South beach always thinks he's a big California rich guy. You got to go to it. It's just the CNBC thing.

[Lunchbox]

Got it. I wonder. I wonder how that festival gets to be so cool like Palm Springs. Oh, is Palm Springs cool.

[Ryan Seacrest]

The wealth and it's just. It's a. It's a. I think it's the closest to Woodstock that NaCl, but it's also got the most influencers. And all those chicks on Instagram do their photos. It's like they're.

[Lunchbox]

They don't.

[Ryan Seacrest]

They dress like that for the picture and then they put on sweatpants and a T shirt.

[Lunchbox]

Oh. And I guess maybe I'm just not a music festival guy. And maybe I'm too old to be a music festival guy.

[Ryan Seacrest]

What about I heart? You're going in two weeks.

[Lunchbox]

That's different. I love those festivals.

[Ryan Seacrest]

How's it, girl? Country girl? Shake it for me.

[Lunchbox]

Shake it for me. Come on.

[Ryan Seacrest]

We're doing a video. Shake that.

[Lunchbox]

Shake that. Na na na na na. Shake that.

[Ryan Seacrest]

We're going to do it live. We are the 1, 2, 3, soar losers.

[Lunchbox]

What up, everybody? I am Lunchbox. I know the most about sports. I'll give you the sports facts, my sports opinions, because I'm pretty Much a sports genius, y'all.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's Sizzin. I'm from the north. I'm an alpha male. I live on the north side of Nashville with Bazer, my wife. She was a Broadway girl. We now live in the country. 2.2 acres, 2.2 kids at Vanderbilt Clinic. Justin checks on him every day. And I'll probably die of a heart attack when I'm 72 and a half years old. Lunch over to you.

[Lunchbox]

So like I was saying about the golf, I run home, I run in the house, I change, throw the shorts on, throw a shirt on. You know, I get a hat, and I'm ready to go. Now get in the car. And I'm like, oh, my golf shoes. Gotta go back inside. It's raining. Get them, throw them in the car, have my water, and I'm ready to go. And I type in the golf course, and it says, closed on Mondays. Sheesh. I'm like, what? How is it closed on Monday? Like, today is Monday. And my buddy said, can you be at this golf course at this time.

[Ryan Seacrest]

To play maybe Gemini? Google as an updated.

[Lunchbox]

That's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking that's winter hours. It must be something wrong. Or this is a tournament, and I am the fourth person in the crew. Maybe, you know, the other people from his work backed out, and that's why he's in town for business. And they needed a fourth for their foursome for the scramble.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Is your. If your story sucks. You just gave me the biggest light bulb. I have a hilarious story continue about golf and tournament.

[Lunchbox]

So I'm like, all right, here I go. And I remember in the back of my head, him saying, there's no rain down here. It's just, if anything, it's going to blow over. The whole hour drive, I had nothing but rain. She the entire time.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Brutal.

[Lunchbox]

The ground, the roads, there's puddles, there's. It's just wet everywhere.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Rails. Hydroplaning.

[Lunchbox]

Not that I was hydroplaning, but I was just like, there is no way we are playing golf.

[Ryan Seacrest]

According to your friend. It's clear down here.

[Lunchbox]

It's clear down here. It may be raining up in Nashville, but south of Nashville, there's no rain. And if anything, it's just going to blow over in about 20 minutes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Country hills is a great golf course.

[Lunchbox]

I think Country Hills is north of here.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Inside joke.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, that's what. Yeah, I got you. And so I said, all right, man. I just keep driving. I am 12 minutes from the course, and it is still Raining puddles everywhere. And I'm off the highway, I'm on the backcountry roads now, most of these you have to. My wife calls me. She's like, how's it looking?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, she's about the weather. She's got the weather on. She has the weather radar going off.

[Lunchbox]

And I said, there is no way we're playing golf today. She goes, what? I said. He said, it wasn't raining down here and I have seen nothing but rain the entire time I've been driving. She goes, yeah, but maybe it's not raining at the course. I said, I'm 12 minutes from the course and I just went through a 2 inch puddle of water. She's like, oh, well, maybe at least you guys can grab lunch. I'm like, well, he already had lunch because he told me he was eating at a restaurant and then heading to the course.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You want to get pork missiles?

[Lunchbox]

She says, well, at least you drove down there to see a buddy from college. I said, yeah, so I'm gonna drive down here, say hello, smack him on his ass, and then I'm gonna turn around and drive home. So what did you do today on your Monday? Well, I spent three and a half hours in the car driving down there, an hour and 15 to hour 15 back. I guess that's only two and a half, but whatever, that's cool. She goes, well, just have a positive attitude. I'm like, how can I have a positive attitude when the rain is coming down?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Does this tell me something good? I don't need to be positive.

[Lunchbox]

This real life woman, she's like, all right. And I said, so if we even.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Play Story of the Day, me, I.

[Lunchbox]

Was like, you're going to be on your own with the kids, dinner and all that tonight. If we play, it's going to be late. And she goes, okay, have fun, let me know. All right, bye.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's a great wife you hit her with. Gonna be late. Take care of the kids on your own. See ya. And she said, bye, have fun. Great wife.

[Lunchbox]

That's how we work. We work that way. Very in sync, very on the same page. Like, go out, enjoy your life. Come back to the kids when you need to come back. So then I'm getting. I'm a mile from the course and guess what?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Stopped raining.

[Lunchbox]

Still raining. Oh, still raining.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, I got the sound effect.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, do you please. Still raining, man.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Another bolt.

[Lunchbox]

And I'm like, this is unbelievable. And then I see the hole, I see one hole and I'm like, oh, there it is. It's raining on that hole. Cool. And it runs right along the road, you know what I mean, leading into the golf course. Go up, take a right, and I take a right in the parking lot. There ain't a darn car in the parking lot. Not a single one.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, my gosh. Oh, it's a double whammy. They're closed and it's raining.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah. And then I'm like, no, no, they were closed. They were closed. The golf course is closed.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Because there's always some loser that still goes to a golf course when it's raining because they're that addicted to golf.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

So the fact there wasn't a car in the lot, it had to been a holiday. Or, like the site said, not open.

[Lunchbox]

Closed on Mondays. So then I'm thinking, did I read the text wrong? And he mean next Monday.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, no, dude. You're the bonehead. Story of the day. I'm writing this for you right now and sending it to Mike D. To get approved for Bones.

[Lunchbox]

And I pull out my phone. It says, no, today.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh.

[Lunchbox]

And I'm like, well, what the heck? So I'm all right, let me text him. I'm like, hey, man, did you mean to send me to an abandoned golf course that's closed on Monday where it's pouring rain and you said it wasn't raining?

[Ryan Seacrest]

This story comes to you from Columbia, Tennessee?

[Lunchbox]

And I hit send, and I look out the window, and he pulls up in a golf cart. What? And I'm like, what is going on? So I opened the door. He's like, you ready to play some golf?

[Ryan Seacrest]

What is happening?

[Lunchbox]

And I said, no, it's raining because. Oh, we may get a little wet, but we can still play.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Wait, I thought it was closed.

[Lunchbox]

It is close. That's why I'm very confused too. I'm like, where did you get the golf cart? And then another golf cart pulls up. Sheesh. With two dudes on it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

How's it going, bros?

[Lunchbox]

Father, Son. And I'm like, what is. Like, do you have a cover for your golf clubs? I was like, no. And he goes, they may get a little wet. Then he goes, you've got the.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You haven't got new clubs in a while.

[Lunchbox]

And I said, well, I don't really want to get them wet. And he goes, oh, there's a reusable grocery bag here in the back. You can just use that. So I literally used a reusable spurs San Antonio spurs grocery bag to stick over my clubs to keep them dry.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You are private club material.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah. No, no.

[Ryan Seacrest]

How are they open?

[Lunchbox]

So then I get in the golf cart and he's like, you ready to do this? I'm like, well, it's raining kind of hard.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Is homie playing this course illegally?

[Lunchbox]

And I said, I'm very confused because online it says close. I said, I pull up here, there's not a car in the lot. And you guys come rolling up on two golf carts about to pull up. And he says, oh, see my buddy over there? Because they. He. They work for him. Oil and gas and renewable energy, solar farms.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Got that body like old money.

[Lunchbox]

He goes, he's on the board. Sheesh. Of the Columbia Golf. So he has a key. He just got two golf carts out and we're playing the course. Sheesh. So the golf course is closed on Mondays, but dude has a key to the cart.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Barn, this story just got awesome.

[Lunchbox]

And I'm like, excuse me. He goes, yeah, if you're on the board, you can play whenever you want.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Sheesh.

[Lunchbox]

And I said, but it's still raining. He goes, yeah, hopefully it'll blow over.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It doesn't matter. You're playing the course solo.

[Lunchbox]

There's not a soul on the golf.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Course know what we're doing next Monday. But why was the tee time important? It wasn't.

[Lunchbox]

Great point.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah. You could have gone anytime. You.

[Lunchbox]

We could have got our listeners.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, you left our listeners with a 39 minute podcast.

[Lunchbox]

That wasn't my doing. Right.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It was a web of lies I didn't understand.

[Lunchbox]

So I'm like, are we really going to play in the rain? He goes, why not, man? We got the course to ourselves.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'm down. See, G, Rain golf sucks. But if it's just you out there.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah. And I was like, all right, so. But instead, they pull up under the little awning. Awning. And we sit there for 10 minutes. And after 10 minutes, the rain goes away. There's no more rain. And what is that? Is that the sun?

[Ryan Seacrest]

The ghost of Jordan Spieth peeking out.

[Lunchbox]

From behind the clouds?

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's Branch Snedeker. He's going to squeegee the course. He no longer's on tour.

[Lunchbox]

And the one guy, the son of the dad that you know is on the board, he's like, I already drove the back nine. That's usually, if we get water standing, that's where it's going to be, on the back nine. He goes, I saw standing. No standing water. So we're going to be good to go, boys.

[Ryan Seacrest]

What a dude.

[Lunchbox]

And I was like, wow, he's like.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It should affect your ball flight a little bit. RPMs are going to be altered a little bit. Velocity rate, exit velocity, launch angle, you'll be good. Fine. Decent winds south southeast.

[Lunchbox]

So it's time to head to the number one T ray and play some golf. And I'll tell you all about it right after this.

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[Lunchbox]

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[Ryan Seacrest]

We're prohibited by law.

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[Ryan Seacrest]

You acted like I was going to have to filibuster with a story because your story sucked when your story was fine.

[Lunchbox]

It's not over. I know, Ray. That's the beauty of a tease. That's the beauty of setting you up and thinking one thing's gonna happen and boom. Rope a dope fool. We had a private golf course.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Truckers know that. Watch out for the cow.

[Lunchbox]

I wanted you to think that this was gonna turn out miserable and it was gonna be the worst day. And I just drove for nothing.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's the artist. Storytelling.

[Lunchbox]

That is how you hook them in. You bring them in and then you give them a plot twist. And we get to the first tee and they say, so, boys, how much we playing for? Oh, what. Excuse me, what's your handicap? And I'm like, oh, I'm like 18.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Justin's like 40.

[Lunchbox]

And they're like, oh, okay. So to be you, you, I guess me. Me. And we'll go together. The father, son. They're a team.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You're an 18. Yeah, I actually agree to that.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, I shoot about 93. 90 twos. 91.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'd say you're a 16.

[Lunchbox]

Well, according to 18 birdies, I'm 17.4. Oh, all right. Yeah. So that's how I knew my handicap.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'm probably a 25 or.

[Lunchbox]

And Steven, he's a plus one.

[Ryan Seacrest]

She.

[Lunchbox]

And I'm like, oh, and dad, TP, he's a plus six. I'm like, whoa. And Larry, he's about a plus 10, 14 in there. So it's going to be TP and Larry versus me and Steven.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay, Nobody I know roll on.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah. And I step up on that first tee box and whack right down the middle. And they said, okay, this is some bull crap. You ain't no. You ain't no 18. That's not.

[Ryan Seacrest]

When you determine the handicap, it's all about close distance. I'll hang up and listen.

[Lunchbox]

I think I bogeyed the first hole. All right, cool. Second hole, par. Third hole, par. And the guy goes, man, I know you ain't never been down to Columbia before, but you're about to get a Columbia cuss out.

[Ryan Seacrest]

What the.

[Lunchbox]

He goes, you bull crab me on that handicap? Aren't you like. Nah, man, you just wait. It'll come.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I mean, you could have given him proof about the 24birdies app.

[Lunchbox]

I know. Yeah, they, they, they weren't serious. They were just being funny. Really funny dudes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, I mean, if they would have asked me, what do I give my handicap if I only play 13 holes?

[Lunchbox]

Dude, do you know how fun it is to drive up to a tee box and not worry about anybody else? And if you hit a ball to the right or left, not having to yell 4. Cuz there's no one on the golf course.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Were you guys doing mulligans or.

[Lunchbox]

No mollies?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Scout's honor, Ray.

[Lunchbox]

No mollies, man. We were playing straight golf, playing a, you know, skins game. So I got a stroke a hole because I'm a, you know, 18 handicap pretty much and it was so fun. And we hit the first nine. Beautiful. Rain came a little bit, little drizzle on hole number eight. Then it cleared up and didn't have another cloud for the rest of the day.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Does it dry quick? Were you good on short shots and your chips and stuff?

[Lunchbox]

There wasn't a lot of mud splat like we did. We did play where you could move your ball if you were in something. But there was really not a spot on the course that was bad.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's called pick and place.

[Lunchbox]

Pick and play.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Sorry to be the PGA Tour here.

[Lunchbox]

Sorry. Didn't realize that was the name.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And Nance always tells us about it. Now, now, now, Peter, this is a pick and place day because of the rain. So they will be able to pick up their ball, clean it off and place it back down in the spot. Now over to 10.

[Lunchbox]

That's where we went. We went to number 10. And this is the hard part. We're making the turn and your boy hadn't had anything to eat.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You got to get a Porky.

[Lunchbox]

The course is closed, right, Glizzy? There's nothing to get. Yeah, can't. He was like, I can't even get in there. He goes, I'm sorry. I couldn't get beers out of the concession. You know, we're closed today.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, so you guys were dry, huh?

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

See that's the thing, golf, you're always banking on the clubhouse.

[Lunchbox]

Always banking. So I am so hungry because there.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You'Re going to get teas and if you need emergency balls, you got a pork missile, Gatorade, couple ultras.

[Lunchbox]

And I'm just depressed because I am so hungry. My stomach, I have this hunger pains because I haven't eaten since 9:30 in the morning. That was my last snack.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That was a break during the bag show.

[Lunchbox]

And so I'm just going to have to tough it out for the next nine holes and then I'm going to have to find the nearest drive thru, get me something to eat and get out of there. And so we play. We're playing and then, man, I felt bad. This is where Larry got a call on hole 11. And it was a business call and it's some dude and he's talking to him and he's like, so what's making you change your mind? And I can't hear what the guy is saying. He goes, he's like, but sir. He goes, sir, we've been working on this for the last five months. We were going to wrap this up next week. He's like, Is there, is there any way I can sit down with you and we can go over this again? And, and he, this Larry doesn't even get to, like, whole 11. He's just sitting there on the phone. He doesn't get to play, oh, one.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Of those Angelina when she's closing business deals when we're out at the bar on a Saturday.

[Lunchbox]

And then at one point I heard, I was like, we were number 12 was a par 3. And I said, hey, Stephen, how, what's the distance? And I hear this old man go, what? I'm like, what? He goes, who's this? Larry's Bluetooth had switched over to the music player. And I was talking to the old man.

[Ryan Seacrest]

This business deal has gone south. The deal did not get closed in Columbia.

[Lunchbox]

And I said, larry, Larry, your Bluetooth, it's picking up the, it switched over. He said, oh, oh, hey, you still there, man? He's like, yeah, yeah, I'm at the.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Office just finishing up some things. What's up, man?

[Lunchbox]

He was like, are you sure you want to cancel this after we've been doing all this work and research for five years, five months? He's like, I, I, I really, I, I, I really hate to hear that you don't want to go through with this deal after five months, all this. And I'm like, oh, my God. Oh my God.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Usually it's just golf games falling apart on the back nine.

[Lunchbox]

And I'm just like, this is, this is not good. I feel so bad. Like, I, I'm like, I shouldn't be witnessing this.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'm going to slice to the right, make Larry feel a little bit better about the business deal gone south.

[Lunchbox]

And, you know, we're playing skins, we're playing for money. So now I don't want to win. I might. This dude.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, you take him for more money after the business deal falls through.

[Lunchbox]

And that's the thing. He, and so he, he gets his new, you know, and I, I don't know if he's on commission or how it works. I would assume there's some kind of commission aspect to his job.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Is this the dad?

[Lunchbox]

No, this is the son.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay. Cuz I'm envisioning This guy's like 70.

[Lunchbox]

No. Oh, oh, the dad is like 70.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay.

[Lunchbox]

But the son is probably 35.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Got it.

[Lunchbox]

Got three kids, a wife, all that.

[Ryan Seacrest]

The perfect Tennessee life.

[Lunchbox]

And so then he finishes up whole 11 while we're teeing off on 12.

[Ryan Seacrest]

What do you, oh, he finished on 13.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, no, no. He had to just catch up. To us. Got it. And then 12. I had to pee, man. I had to pee. And so I go behind a tree. Beauty. Guess what? There's no one out there, so it doesn't matter what tree I go behind.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You don't have to watch for the women, kids. Get called a predator. Have to put yourself on a website.

[Lunchbox]

Don't have to worry about the cart girls seeing the. The dong out. You know what I mean? None of that.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You got bazer. What are you guys doing? We're peeing, and we're trying to do it real quick so some other guy doesn't report us. And then Justin comes out, and he goes, I'm sorry. I have a microscopic penis. Okay, Justin. Hilarious.

[Lunchbox]

Guys.

[Ryan Seacrest]

We're just trying to go to the bathroom before this guy that cuts through is going to see us.

[Lunchbox]

So I go behind the tree, and I go to unbuckle my shorts. And here's the problem. My golf shorts are 15 years old. They used to be black. They are almost faded to gray.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, we got to get you some new gear.

[Lunchbox]

And as I go to unbutton them, the button that was hanging on by a string, there it goes. Oh, boy. So now I have no button on my shorts.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You're gonna have to pull it off. I don't know how, though.

[Lunchbox]

Luckily, I have a belt on, so I'm able to do the belt a little bit tighter. So you can't even notice that my button's gone.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, you're good.

[Lunchbox]

But the only problem is when you have no button, it keeps unzipping. Yeah. So we're sitting there, and we get on the 12th green. No one notices. And we're packing up our stuff, and I look up, and here comes a jeep Grand Cherokee driving on the golf course.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Sounds like there's a marshal to the course. He didn't get the memo.

[Lunchbox]

He comes down the cart path. There's a creek. The Grand Cherokee drives over the bridge of the creek, drives down the cart path, and there's an exit into a neighborhood behind the golf course. Drives right down it out into the neighborhood.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Cut some corners on your way commute home.

[Lunchbox]

And I'd looked at them, and I said, hey, does that save, like, an hour here in Columbia that he can just cut through the golf course? Or, like, I mean, Maybe save some 10 seconds to go around the block? But, like, who? And they're like, I don't know who that was, but, golly, I didn't know. They just drive on the golf course. Who knew that a grand Cherokee could fit on the Cart path.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, it'd be tough.

[Lunchbox]

And it was just we're sitting there, you know, we're the only ones on the golf course. All of a sudden, you see a grand Cherokee coming down. I'm like, oh, man, we're busted. We're busted.

[Ryan Seacrest]

We're in trouble.

[Lunchbox]

I thought we were in trouble. I was like, damn it. This dude told me we could play because he had a key to the carpet.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, it's just Nick. Nine to five coming on home.

[Lunchbox]

Wife called him going home to see the wife and kids. He just driving through the golf course instead of going around the block. Whatever. Cool. So we finished up the round, dude. Amazing.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Who won?

[Lunchbox]

It was a dead heat. Nine skins to nine skins.

[Ryan Seacrest]

We're going to a 19th now.

[Lunchbox]

They. No, no. Actually, no. Wrong, wrong. Sorry. On number 17, I made the par putt. We were 2 and 12 holes up with one to play. So they said they wanted to do double or nothing on 18. I said, deal.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Why would you agree to that when you're guaranteed to win?

[Lunchbox]

Uh, why would you not want more money? Oh, double or nothing. I'm looking at $40 in my pocket on a free round of golf at a private course that we had to ourselves. I'm in. Honey.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'm coming home late with extra money, though.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah. And so I step up on the tee box, wave. Right. All right. And so par five, Steven steps up. Way right.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Who's that, your partner?

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, yeah, that's my partner.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I took me 18 holes to learn your partner.

[Lunchbox]

But go, Larry. Right down the middle. J.P. j.T. T.P. way right. So we're all in the right. And what do you know, Larry? Pars it, I bogey it. They win the whole squadoosh. We win no money.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And what you realize with skins game and also playing your buddies a lot of times. Ends in a tie.

[Lunchbox]

Ends in a tie.

[Ryan Seacrest]

The game of golf is weird. It's basketball. Blowout.

[Lunchbox]

Blowed out.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Lunchbox]

I mean, Grizzlies got blown out again.

[Ryan Seacrest]

NBA, you got blowouts where golf, it's usually pretty tight. And especially with the way you guys played. It was. What'd you play? What's it called?

[Lunchbox]

Skins.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Skins. And then. But you also played Scrabble. What is it called?

[Lunchbox]

No, you only you played your ball. It's just a score on the hole. Whoever had the, you know, if. If one person got a par and.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Then go with the better one.

[Lunchbox]

Yes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah. So because of that scoring, it's going to be pretty tight.

[Lunchbox]

Pretty tight. No one's going to lose a significant Amount of money because we're all not very even. But one hole, you can have a good hole. And if me giving a stroke every hole made it very even, the teams were perfectly matched.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Dang. You were given a stroke every hole, bro.

[Lunchbox]

TP was a six plus six golfer.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, that's what I'm saying. That's crazy. They must have been real good.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, that's.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I mean, that's different than what I was dealing with. I did five hours and 13 holes.

[Lunchbox]

Well, so we played a little bit.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Of a different game 24 hours apart.

[Lunchbox]

I mean, Larry was a little bit better than me, so he got strokes on certain holes, but not every hole.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, a par three, no stroke.

[Lunchbox]

Right. Like par five, though. Got a stroke, things like that. So it was a great day. And I'm like, hey, man, we take off our hats. Thanks, man. Thanks for having me. This was. I mean, I don't know how we got this private course, but it turned. I mean, what a beautiful day, guys. Like, we had no rain, nothing. And they're like, yeah, man. Cool, man. All right. They're like, hey, you got time to grab something to eat? I'm like, you know what? I'm starving. Let's go eat.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Let's talk business. So businessman making business deals trying to get their money.

[Lunchbox]

We go to downtown Columbia and I'll tell you what happened right after this.

[T-Mobile Advertiser]

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[Dutch Advertiser]

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[Lunchbox]

The 40s and free agents podcast with Daniel Jeremiah and Greg Rosenthal has prepared you for the 2025 NFL Draft. We've told you what last year's playoff teams need to return to the postseason and how teams with new coaches should approach the draft. So as draft season comes to a close, we've got you covered. Before your favorite team goes on the clock, we'll break it all down. Once all 257 picks have been made. Listen to the 40s and free agents podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, Wendy's. How can I take your order?

[Lunchbox]

No, no Wendy's, man. I was gonna have to stop at a Wendy's or a Dairy Queen or a McDonald's or a McBanger, whatever it was. But they invited me to go eat.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger. How can I take your order?

[Lunchbox]

I'm like, yeah, man, I'm hungry. I need to eat.

[Ryan Seacrest]

So we go, so, man, how's your sex life, Larry?

[Lunchbox]

So we sit down. We're just sitting there chilling and looking around. They come get our orders. I'll take a water, man. I'll just take a water. I'm so thirsty. Do you want apps? Yeah, I want apps, man. I need some apps. Like, give me the buffalo chicken dick. Give me some shrimp.

[Ryan Seacrest]

We know how you order. It's impatient. And you name five things at the exact same time.

[Lunchbox]

Well, this dude had. I haven't eaten since 9:30.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Understood.

[Lunchbox]

It is now 5:30.

[Ryan Seacrest]

We already heard the backstory.

[Lunchbox]

Okay.

[Ryan Seacrest]

We've started with the Backstory, actually. Since 9:30 the previous morning.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah. And it comes. And I am just like a freaking. Just crushing the buffalo chicken dip. And they're like, can we have some? I said, yeah. And I said, I'm gonna His bones.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Not feeding you guys up in Nashville.

[Lunchbox]

I said, I'm gonna like one guy, tp, he scoops it on his plate and is just eating it, like, casually. And I was like, I'm not scooping it on a plate. I'm just going to trust you guys not to double dip. I'm going. I'm going just straight from the bowl. I ain't got time. I probably ate 90% of the buffalo chicken dip. Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And TP has probably been scolded at home before. Got a strict wife not eating like that. Come on.

[Lunchbox]

And then the shrimp never came that. That we never got the shrimp. So don't know what happened that if we cancel that or whatever. Then I went with the pork chop, and it took forever for the Pork chop to get out there. I mean, it took forever. I mean, I am just like, come on. Got the pork chop, got the baked sweet potato, and got the soup of the day, which was like some chicken something.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You never wanted to be too quick, but you never wanted to take the 45 minutes.

[Lunchbox]

Especially when you got to drive an hour home. Like you're already tired.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I mean, you pretty much got home, had to go to bed and get up for the big show.

[Lunchbox]

Correct. She is basically, what happened? And then in the middle of dinner, I'm like, man, I got to, I got to go pee. I got to go pee. So, like, where's the bathroom? I'll back there on the left. I'm all right. Get up, go to the bathroom. And this is, you know, my, my, my 15 year old shorts, the button's gone.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You lost on the 14th.

[Lunchbox]

Yep. And I go. And I go pee and then I go to zip up. Zipper breaks off, you're down to the belt and dong.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You're basically wearing a belt thong, dude.

[Lunchbox]

So there's no way to zip up my short.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, man, are you having money trouble?

[Lunchbox]

Gibbles?

[Ryan Seacrest]

All right, let me get this dinner.

[Lunchbox]

So there's no way to zip up my shorts. So my shorts are unbuttoned and unzipped. Dude.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Dude, you look like a hobo.

[Lunchbox]

And I am at a restaurant, like a steakhouse, and I am like, what do I do?

[Ryan Seacrest]

The home of the 96er.

[Lunchbox]

We are only halfway through dinner and I've got to be in this restaurant with no zipper and no button.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You're exposed. You gotta wrap your raincoat around your waist.

[Lunchbox]

So I am. I don't have a raincoat, man. I didn't have a raincoat. So I sit there and I try to fold the shorts over as far as I can and I pull the belt as tight as I can, but you can still see the zipper is not zipped, man.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Coach, I've seen this look and it is by hobos on Broadway who have been through it.

[Lunchbox]

And I'm just like, people are gonna be like, yo, man, like, what are you doing?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Dude, if they get a wrong angle, they are gonna see your Prince Albert.

[Lunchbox]

They are gonna see the goods because the zipper is gone. I mean, what are the odds that these 15 year old shorts that the button and the zipper are both gonna go down in the same day?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Dude, you're about to be naked.

[Lunchbox]

So I'm in the bathroom. I mean, I'm in the bathroom for way longer than it should be for just peeing because I'm trying to figure out how to manipulate this. So I untuck the shirt and I'm trying to stretch it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Lunchbox]

To make it longer.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You got to go that route.

[Lunchbox]

It only goes halfway down the zipper, man. Halfway down.

[Ryan Seacrest]

There's nothing you can do.

[Lunchbox]

So I just like, you know what? I can't just stay in here all night. So I just grin and bear it and walk back to the table and try to like as I'm walking, I keep my hands kind of in front of me.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, up in Nashville we do some weird dress wise. This is actually in style now, you know, hanging out, you know. Nashville cowboy.

[Lunchbox]

It's the new day sweeping the nation, guys.

[Ryan Seacrest]

What do you get? You guys aren't gen zers. All these kids with their hanging out.

[Lunchbox]

So then we just, we finished dinner and I don't even mention it. I don't even mention it to the guys. I don't mention that I have no button. I don't mention that I have no zipper. Dude, I do not want to make this very uncomfortable for them. So we just talk, chat it up. Then we go outside the restaurant, say our goodbyes, and I get back in the car and I drive the hour home. And the best part of it was Steven said, hey guys, don't worry about it. This is on the company tonight.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Lunchbox]

The bill.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's Billy style.

[Lunchbox]

Free golf, free dinner, no button, no zipper, no problem. She and that was my golfing adventure.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That was a hole in one.

[Lunchbox]

I get home, the kids are in bed, it's 8:20 or 8:18. And I hear dad, dad and I go downstairs and they're in the middle of their last story and they say, dad, dad, did you make any hole in ones? No, No, I didn't. Dad, dad, did you make any hole in twos? No, no, no I didn't.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Birdie on three.

[Lunchbox]

No par. Dad, dad, did you make hole any hole in threes? No. No. Dad, dad, did you make any holes in four? Yeah, I did. Yeah. Hole in four, any holes in five? Yeah. Yeah. And he holes in six. Yep. And he holes in seven. Yep.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Did you guys do a snowman max?

[Lunchbox]

No, but the most I got was seven. Then my kids said, did you hit it in eight? And I was like, no, just seven. And then baby box three. Dada, dada. Did you hit some in the water?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, they'll learn about the snowman with uncle Justin and Z.

[Lunchbox]

And I said, no, no in the water today, boys. They're like, awesome. Dad, did you get a hole in ten? Nope. Okay. Then we finished the last story, said good night, and I showed my wife my pants and she goes, oh, my gosh. She goes, you're so embarrassing.

[Ryan Seacrest]

We got to get you to Dick's.

[Lunchbox]

Today, so we need to get down there and buy some new shorts, man. That's it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Wow.

[Lunchbox]

That was the golf adventure, man.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Wow.

[Lunchbox]

And with that, we'll take a break.

[T-Mobile Advertiser]

T Mobile's stats are as impressive as your favorite athlete's highlight reel. Because T Mobile helps keep you connected from the heart of Portland to right where you are on America's largest 5G network switch. Now keep your phone and T Mobile will pay it off up to $800 per line via prepaid card. Visit your local T Mobile location or learn more@t mobile.com keepandswitch up to 4 lines of your virtual prepaid card. Allow 15 days qualifying unlock device, credit service report in 90 days device in eligible carrier and timely redemption required. Card has no cash access and expires in six months.

[Dutch Advertiser]

Time is precious and so are our pets. So time with our pets is extra precious. That's why we started Dutch. Dutch provides 247 access to licensed vets with unlimited virtual visits and follow ups for up to five pets. You can message a vet at any time and schedule a video visit the same day. Our vets can even prescribe medication for many ailments and shipping is always free. With Dutch, you'll get more time with your pets and year round peace of mind when it comes to their vet care.

[Lunchbox]

The 40s and free agents Podcast with Daniel Jeremiah and Greg Rosenthal has prepared you for the 2025 NFL Draft. We've told you what last year's playoff teams need to return to the postseason and how teams with new coaches should approach the draft. So as draft season comes to a close, we've got you covered. Before your favorite team goes on the clock, we'll break it all down once all 257 picks have been made. Listen to the 40s and free agents podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Now let me hear your hilarious story.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It pales in comparison, but let me tell it. So baser wants to go to a course. And you know how I say we do brunch. We'll do food and drinks.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

So this one we just said, hey, we're swinging by it. We were at the mall. Girl stuff. I have no idea what we were doing. And she goes, let's swing by, get one drink. I said, cool. I've never checked out this clubhouse. Why not? I've already. Yeah, I've already gone to one clubhouse and not played. And I sit there with my wife, and I feel like, why not go to another clubhouse? Sit there and feel like a. So we go up there, and at the very top, there's no. No sound. There's five TVs. Not one of them's on. Oh, okay.

[Lunchbox]

Okay.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And so there we are. We order from the lady. She's in her 40s, I would say, doing a great service. Serving gentlemen beers and doing this, doing that. It was a tournament, so there's stuff going on. Okay.

[Lunchbox]

A lot of action. Yes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

So as we were there. There's a guy coming in. Oh, par three. We got to turn it back into a par four.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, hey.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, Marge. Hey, Sarah. Hey, Marge. The times in the past, I've actually gone up there, not with my wife, but it's been a vibrant staff. TVs are banging. It's good. They got a golden tea. So usually, you know, it's got a little bit going on. You go up there. This time, it's crickets. And then it's confusion because the tournament ended. And the lady charges us, and she swipes our cards, takes our cards, and me and my wife are just standing there, and we're both looking each other. We don't have our drinks. The lady's now behind the bar, and both of our drinks are just sitting over there on the other side of the. Like, behind the counter where you can't reach. Where I can't reach them. A white claw on an ultra. And we're just sitting there. The ladies guy comes around. He apparently works there. They give each other a kiss. They're just chilling.

[Lunchbox]

Love that. Hey, love.

[Ryan Seacrest]

So. And I'm in a great mood. I believe it was a Friday.

[Lunchbox]

I. I'm.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'm in no rush. I'll wait there all day. I'm not gonna say, hey, ma'am, you didn't give us your drinks, but you charged us. Awk.

[Lunchbox]

And actually, I don't even know if.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You swiped my card. Did you hit me? Because I never got a tip. Usually everybody wants a tip. So we're still standing there a couple minutes, three minutes, four minutes. Lady gets another kiss. Now she's Turning on the TVs. Okay, turning on the TVs. We're still sitting there. No drinks, no drinks, no drinks. The lady turns the Players Championship on the week after the Masters. So what does that tell you?

[Lunchbox]

It's old. And these Idiots.

[Ryan Seacrest]

At the. There was a couple people of the staff start watching the tv. They're watching a replay of the Players Championship from three years ago. And they don't realize it. And I go, yeah, they always play the players right after the Masters. Man, this is crazy. Nobody gets the joke because they all think it's live. Me and Baze are still standing there waiting for our drinks. The lady has gone on to do other things. She's taking the dishwasher out, wiping the counters off. And at this point, I've been chilling for five minutes, and she still hasn't realized she didn't give us our drinks.

[Lunchbox]

I'm like, you know what?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Why not be brass?

[Lunchbox]

Shh.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's America. Say something. I go, excuse me. I'm so confused. Is this like a Black Mirror episode?

[Lunchbox]

I.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You never handed us our drinks. And she goes, what? And she looks back and goes, huh? I have never done that in my 10 year career not giving a person their drinks. And she turns around and grabs them and hands them to us. And we sit there and watch a recorded episode of the Players Championship. And it was DeChambeau. DeChambeau took it, guys.

[Lunchbox]

All right.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It might have been Rory. It actually was FOWLER from like 10 years ago.

[Lunchbox]

Wow.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And he doesn't even play on the tour anymore. And I go, bazer, we better be drinking this in about two seconds, because what just happened? And I will never be back. And what happened to the Gen Z that was up here a couple weeks ago that was just slanging drinks at you that had them faster before you could even pull your wallet out. Oh, first for everything.

[Lunchbox]

You thought you were on Boiling Points. Remember that on mtv. They sit there and mess with you until you blow up.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Am. Am I on Candid Camera? Like, what is happening? Babes are so polite. I think she would have sat there for an hour and not said anything. Me, five to ten minute window. I was like, I got to say something. What the hell is going on?

[Lunchbox]

Five to ten minutes. How about five to ten seconds?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Dude, I was in a rare, courteous mood. And. And it was just like, was one for the. The record books, man. A course that you don't have to pay for. And a recorded episode of the Players with drinkless drinks.

[Lunchbox]

Hallelujah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

What a time on the course, baby.

[Lunchbox]

And golf is amazing. It is. I'm gonna read one email before we go home. Yep. Yeah. And it's someone. They want to set the record straight is how they put it. Because I guess there's rumors going around of something that they did or they happened, but they want to set the record straight. And here we go. Oh, you lost the. You lost that clip.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It has been recorded over.

[Lunchbox]

Okay, I guess I can still read it. Here we go. Coaches, you were talking about thunder and lightning at the beginning of the pod the other day, and I got excited that you got half the guys right. Original thunder and lightning was Will Clark and Raphael Palmero at Mississippi State. Put some respect on it. Also, I guess I have to tell the real story if it keeps coming up. I was dancing around cheese fully clothed, and a couple of coaches put dollar bills in my shirt at the convention. So then naturally, the shirt came unbuttoned, but never came completely off. Then when security had enough of the show, they asked me to button it up, and I did. No problem. I wasn't asked to leave or escorted out until after the open bar happy hour, which was amazing, was closed. And they started kicking everyone out from the group because they were tired of sore losers nation. And I just happened to be the first one asked to leave. Also, buddy Glass is the worst. Sincerely, your friend, Taylor Calloway. Yep.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Thank you. Record has been set straight.

[Lunchbox]

There it is. All right, you guys have a good Wednesday, man. I gotta head down to Dick's. I gotta get some new golf shorts. Yeah, I don't know what I'm gonna do, but it's weird because I had a picture on my timeline. Let me on my Facebook timeline of those shorts. They popped up, and it was me playing golf with my buddy Oscar down in Austin. And I said, dude, can you believe that I still wear these shorts? And I'm trying to see when I sent him this text. There it is. Nope, that was Wednesday, December 4th. I mean, when did I send. I mean, come on.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You're going to be amazed. They make some comfy shorts now, do they?

[Lunchbox]

I mean, I have not put on a new pair of golf shorts, I'm telling you, in 15 years.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's actually one of the things that hasn't changed. They probably still look the exact same. There's no new form of aerodynamics or mesh. It's. I swear, there's the same exact material as it was.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah. And I don't even know how much golf shorts cost now because I haven't bought them in so long, I haven't even looked.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Do you want to know an outside dark horse?

[Lunchbox]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Justin went to Walmart. He got golf shirt and golf shorts for 35 bucks.

[Lunchbox]

Really?

[Ryan Seacrest]

And he also got Titleist balls for that same 35amount. The person forgot to ring up the title as balls.

[Lunchbox]

That's even better, Ray.

[Ryan Seacrest]

If I could be so fortunate.

[Lunchbox]

Here it is. I said 2016. We played golf in Austin. I still wear these shorts today. They're so faded now that they look gray. And they're faded like your golf game because you don't play anymore. And that was on August, April 29, 2024. So that has been a year. And I'd still worn those same shorts, so.

[Ryan Seacrest]

So you have friends that have given up on the game.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, Oscar has totally given up, dude. Totally given up. He was obsessed for about three years. He played like three times a week. Business calls, business meetings were always on the golf course. Now he doesn't know what a golf club looks like, dude.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, I think Billy still plays the exact same amount. Danny. Fort Lauderdale. Danny plays a little bit more now that he lives in Florida, but Mike Miller lives in a mountain area, Vail. And I don't think there's a lot of time to golf. So I believe he doesn't even play golf anymore. And he was awesome. He was the best of the group.

[Lunchbox]

Miller was the best.

[Ryan Seacrest]

He taught me a lot of stuff. We would go play at Blue Bonnet.

[Lunchbox]

That's amazing. I'm going to tell you what Chest Day's dad. Phenomenal golfer. Phenomenal. Couple months ago, I believe he's 69 or 70. He shot his age. She shot his age, dude. That's unbelievable. And I do want to say shout out to Bucky Godbolt, because that man is the mayor of Austin. And I said, hey, Bucky, I need a tea time next Friday with her, Garrett, Greg and Jacob. And Bucky Godbolt said, I got you, son. I got you. And he got me a tee time next Friday. Whack.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Speaking of the past, Bucky Golboat. Bucky Godbolt from our past. Remember, Coach?

[Lunchbox]

Yes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

We had a falling out over the merchandise. It said coach. He actually gave us that name, Coach, because they used to say it at the end of apus. Colts. They always called each other coach. We started doing that at the old studios. Then there was a falling out. He moved. He was mad at us for the merch. I just texted him today, really, Because I was cleaning out voicemails and he had left me a voicemail. And I go, hey, Coach, just want to let you know that Green Cleaners closed. It was his favorite cleaning place, dry cleaning. They changed over to, like, Tide Corporate.

[Lunchbox]

Oh.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And he goes, I still have a jacket there. It's blue in color, waist length. Pick it up for me. I said, perfect. Your interview with Edgar and James was great. I'm unfamiliar with your work. And he said, thanks, coach. I'm unfamiliar with your work. Is my book title coming out in January. And I said, miss you, man. And he concluded with, miss my buddies in Nashville. Damn, you guys are fun. We're friends again. We're friends again. Ray. That was an inspirational episode that brought.

[Lunchbox]

That brought tears in my eyes that you guys reconnected like that. That's. That's amazing.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Should I play his voicemail?

[Lunchbox]

Yeah. Do you have it?

[Ryan Seacrest]

I saved it because it was so funny.

[Lunchbox]

Please let me hear it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Like, this guy's the coolest guy ever.

[Lunchbox]

I love that he left you a voicemail. Who knew?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, it's from years ago, Pete. Nobody does that anymore.

[Lunchbox]

I still leave voicemails. I don't know about you. I want people to hear my voice. You got it, man.

[Ryan Seacrest]

2015.

[Lunchbox]

That is what date?

[Ryan Seacrest]

December 21, 2015.

[Lunchbox]

Okay. Nine. Nine years ago. Nine years, four months. Let's hear it, man. I can't hear it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Dang it. That's Amy.

[Lunchbox]

I don't want to hear Amy. Can you turn it up?

[Ryan Seacrest]

There we go, coach.

[Lunchbox]

I'm driving to Michigan through Indiana, and I stopped at this little casino that I usually hit when I live here. And I do the same thing. I put 200 bucks in my pocket, and I go to the high limit room, and I play that Wheel of Fortune. High limit. That's $25 a spin. So I got four spins on the first hundred. Nothing. And on my second set of spins on the second hundred, I hit 2500, got paid, jumped back in the car. About nine minutes. About nine minutes worth of work in the door. Win, get paid.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Out the door.

[Lunchbox]

Under 10 minutes. That's the way to roll right there, coach. 2500. Bam. All right, I'll see you. Hope you're having a good time and the holiday. See you. I love it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I love it.

[Lunchbox]

That's great, man. I almost forgot what his voice sounded like, man. I almost forgot. That is beauty. That was beauty.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Five minutes of work. He cleared 2500.

[Lunchbox]

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[Dutch Advertiser]

And so are our pets. So time with our pets is extra precious. That's why we started Dutch. Dutch provides 24? 7 access to licensed vets with unlimited virtual visits and follow ups for up to five pets. You can message a vet at any time and schedule a video visit the same day. Our vets can even prescribe medication for many ailments and shipping is always free. With Dutch, you'll get more time with your pets and year round peace of mind when it comes to their vet care.

[Lunchbox]

The 40s and free agents Podcast with Daniel Jeremiah and Greg Rosenthal has prepared you for the 2025 NFL Draft. We've told you what last year's playoff teams need to return to the postseason and how teams with new coaches should approach the draft. So as draft season comes to a close, we've got you covered. Before your favorite team goes on the clock, we'll break it all down. Once all 257 picks have been made. Listen to the 40s and free agents podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.