Podcast Summary: TAKE THIS PERSONALLY – 56 Years of Marriage & Caring Through Alzheimer’s

Podcast: The Bobby Bones Show / Take This Personally
Host: Morgan Huelsman
Date: November 16, 2025
Guest: Baxie (“Baxter”), 78-year-old resident of Abe’s Garden, Nashville
Theme: Wisdom from a lifelong marriage, life as a teacher, and the realities of caring for a spouse with Alzheimer’s

Overview

In this heartfelt and insightful episode, Morgan Huelsman sits down with Baxie, a 78-year-old wife, mother, grandmother, retired teacher, and resident of the Abe’s Garden senior community in Nashville. The conversation delves into 56 years of marriage, the joys and challenges of raising a family and being a working mom, and the hard truths and small victories of supporting a loved one through Alzheimer’s. Baxie’s story is rich with wisdom, nostalgia, humor, and honesty.

Key Topics & Insights

1. Background & Early Life

• Nickname Origin ([04:26])
  • "It’s a nickname for Baxter. My dad thought I was going to be a boy and...he still named me Baxter, so it doesn’t matter. My mother came up with Baxie as a nickname." – Baxie
• Grew up in New Orleans, spent time on the Gulf Coast; attended girls’ school, then Vanderbilt.

2. Meeting & Marrying Her Husband ([06:01], [22:13])

• Met her husband at Vanderbilt; he was in law school, she was an undergraduate.
• Married in 1969; celebrated 56 years together.
• Humorous retelling of their first meeting and unconventional proposal:
  • "Tommy tells my grandmother that he’s going to ask me to marry him...I come back to the table and my grandmother says, ‘Oh, I hear you all are getting married.’ So that was our proposal." – Baxie ([24:57])
• Early married life included her husband’s military service, narrowly avoiding deployment to Vietnam.

3. Professional & Family Life ([08:27], [09:30], [10:13])

• Baxie studied math and secondary education, became a teacher.
• Balanced being a stay-at-home mom for 12 years and later returned to teaching for 25 more.
• Importance of flexibility and support:
  • "The nice thing about teaching is that my hours were very close to the kids’ hours...Teaching for a mother is easier than other jobs for that reason." – Baxie ([12:46])

4. Perspectives on Motherhood & Working Mom Life ([12:19], [13:13])

• "You just do what you have to do...I thought I need to get back out in the workforce and help and make a little money too, so the kids can go to college where they want to go and so forth." – Baxie
• Teaching provided symmetry with her children’s schedules; valued both roles in her life.

5. Lessons from Decades of Teaching ([13:27])

• Some students “mature and grow,” even if they’re difficult in high school.
• "Some of the students that I had...I wouldn’t have given you a nickel for ‘em when I had them...but he became a great mechanic and we take our cars to him." – Baxie

6. Regrets and Life Reflections ([18:03], [19:26])

• On regrets: "Not really." – Baxie
• Prioritizing time with family, especially her sister during her final months:
  • "I was glad that I had that opportunity [to care for her]." – Baxie

7. Family Dynamics & Notable Stories ([21:05], [37:28])

• Youngest child, with much older siblings; describes being the “baby” and her unique childhood, including being a “third wheel” on her sister’s dates.
• Unique family fact: Parents were step-siblings who later married.
  • "My mother and daddy were stepbrother and sister...the surviving parents married when my mother was maybe 9 and my dad 12...they grew up together and ended up getting married." – Baxie ([37:29])
  • This caused no issues; they were happily married 67 years.

8. Love, Marriage, & Longevity ([11:02], [24:43])

• "Marriage is not a 50-50 proposition. I think it’s better 90-90. It’s something you work at...sometimes you have to give in more than you want." – Baxie
• On “love at first sight”:
  • "It was love at first sight for me...he put up a little bit of a struggle, but slowly reeled him in." – Baxie

9. Becoming Grandma ([31:25])

• Has seven grandchildren; two children live nearby.
• "It’s a different kind of love...you get to enjoy them more [than your own kids]." – Baxie
• The joy of being able to “give them back” after visits.

10. Life Now: Navigating Alzheimer’s & Community Support ([32:16], [34:49])

• Husband now resides in memory care at Abe’s Garden.
• “I still have a husband, but he’s not my husband. And that’s been a hard thing for me.” – Baxie ([32:16])
• Importance of support network for those caring for loved ones with Alzheimer’s:
  • "I’ve got to remember that it’s not him at times, it’s the disease…pick what battles to fight…" – Baxie ([34:49])
• Grateful for community; support groups share stories and laughter amid the struggle.
• Family (children and grandchildren) are vital for emotional support and resilience.

11. Self-Care & Staying Active ([36:06])

• Walks five miles every morning; lifelong enjoyment of sports, exercise, and outdoor activity.
• Enjoys bridge, jigsaw puzzles for fun and brain health.

12. Parting Wisdom & Advice ([40:17])

• On Alzheimer’s diagnosis and life challenges:
  • "You just have to roll with the punches and just make the best of the situation and keep going forward. Just do the best you can." – Baxie ([40:17])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Marriage:

  “Marriage is not a 50-50 proposition. I think it’s better 90-90. It’s something you work at and you can’t just say you did that, so I get to do this…sometimes you have to give in more than you want, but you still want to have that marriage and be together.” – Baxie ([11:02])

• On Teaching & Legacy:

  “Some of the students that I had...I wouldn’t have given you a nickel for ‘em when I had them in school, but as they matured and grew up...he became a great mechanic and we take our cars to him.” – Baxie ([13:27])

• On Alzheimer’s:

  “I’ve got to remember that it’s not him at times, it’s the disease…if he wants to sleep in his clothes for three days, that’s not the end of the world.” – Baxie ([34:49])

• On Regrets:

  Q: "Is there anything you wish you did?...Any regrets?" "Not really." – Baxie ([18:16])

• On Self-Care:

  “I walk five miles every morning.” – Baxie ([36:06])

• On Family’s Unique Story:

  “My mother and daddy were stepbrother and sister…their parents married…they grew up together and ended up getting married.” – Baxie ([37:29])

Important Timestamps

• [04:26] – Origin of the name “Baxie”
• [06:01] – How she met her husband
• [11:02] – Marriage wisdom (“90-90” commitment concept)
• [13:27] – Reflections on teaching and former students
• [18:16] – Discussion of regrets
• [19:26] – Retiring to care for her sister
• [22:13] – Story of meeting and marrying her husband
• [24:57] – The unconventional marriage proposal
• [32:16] – Reflection on her husband’s journey with Alzheimer’s
• [34:49] – Lessons learned as a caregiver (“It’s not him, it’s the disease”)
• [36:06] – Daily exercise routine
• [37:29] – Family’s unique marriage story (step-siblings as parents)
• [40:17] – Final life advice (“roll with the punches”)

Episode Tone & Style

• Warm, candid, and humorous, with moments of deep honesty about loss, adaptation, and love.
• Baxie is open, down-to-earth, and unflinchingly realistic about life’s joys and sorrows.
• The conversations balance nostalgia with actionable advice and lived wisdom.

Final Thoughts

Baxie’s life offers a testament to endurance, adaptability, and the sustaining power of community and family, especially in the face of adversity. Her advice to “roll with the punches” and “just do the best you can” feels hard-earned and universally relevant.

Listener takeaway: Appreciate your loved ones, embrace the unpredictability of life, and find support wherever you can—whether through family, friends, or community.

For more stories like Baxie’s, and to learn about supporting people with memory loss, visit abesgarden.org.