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Baxie (Baxter)
This is an iHeart podcast.
Ed Helms
Hey audiobook lovers. I'm Kalpen, I'm Ed Helms. Ed and I are inviting you to join the best sounding book club you've ever heard with our new podcast, Irsay The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. Each week we sit down with your favorite iHeart podcast hosts and some very special guests to discuss the latest and greatest audiobooks from audible, listen to Earsay on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Follow Earsay and start listening listening on the free iHeartradio app.
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Ed Helms
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Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Uh, Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us.
Ed Helms
Cut the camera. They see us. Only pay for what you need@liberty mutual.com Liberty Liberty Liberty Liberty Savings Very unwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Okay, only 10 more presents to wrap.
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Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
But first.
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Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
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Baxie (Baxter)
Mac and too faced.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
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Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
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Take this personally with Morgan Huelsman.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
The second episode in the two part Series of conversations with my friends at Aves Garden. Aves Garden is a senior living facility here in Nashville, and Remy and I started volunteering there as a therapy animal team many years ago now. It showed me how often our seniors are forgotten about within their communities. So I'm hopeful that this series and the last one we did a couple months ago, that I can encourage more people to volunteer and get involved with the senior living facility that's near you. The stories they have to share are so wonderful and full of wisdom and knowledge and advice. And this week we are talking to Baxie. She's 78 years old and has a lifetime of knowledge as a teacher, a stay at home mom, a working mom, a wife, and so many more things. So it's time for y' all to meet her. Let's go. Welcome this week to the podcast. I want to call you Banksy. Do you know who Banksy is? No. It's a very famous, like, anonymous author, artist right now.
Baxie (Baxter)
Oh, okay.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
But you are Backsy. Where did this name come from?
Baxie (Baxter)
It's a nickname for Baxter.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Okay.
Baxie (Baxter)
My dad thought I was going to be a boy and Baxter was my grandmother's maiden name and he was going to name his son Baxter, and it turned out I was a girl and he still named me Baxter, so it doesn't matter. My mother came up with Baxie as a nickname.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
So have you been backseat pretty much your entire life then?
Baxie (Baxter)
Yes. Okay. Yeah.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
And so nobody really knows you as Baxter. It's Baxter.
Baxie (Baxter)
Some people call me Baxter.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Okay. How do you feel about that?
Baxie (Baxter)
Okay. Because it's really somebody that really knows me that would call me Baxter.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
It feels more professional if you were in a work setting, be Ms. Baxter.
Baxie (Baxter)
I don't know about that.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
But talk to me about your life. I want to hear your life story through your eyes. And we can start wherever you want, but maybe from childhood to now. Give me a picture of your life.
Baxie (Baxter)
Okay. I was born in New Orleans and lived there till I came up to school to Vanderbilt. But my dad always had a boat, so I spent a lot of time on the water. Spent a lot of time on the Mississippi Gulf coast where a lot of his family was born and raised. Went to a girls school from 5th grade to 12th grade, came to Vanderbilt because the ratio of boys to girls was 3 to 1. It snowed and it was a good school.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
So much better than the girls school.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Okay, I'm following exactly. And is that where did you meet your husband?
Baxie (Baxter)
Did you get married? My husband there, he was in law School. And I was in undergraduate and we met and I guess 67 and married in 69.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Okay. And still married today.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah. 56 years.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Wow. We'll get to that part because I'm going to need to know how you lasted 56 years. But you guys meet in college and what did your life look like after college?
Baxie (Baxter)
He was in law school, and it was when people were still being called to. He was drafted, but since he was in law school and he had some experience, he went to a military high school. He could go into the. Not rotc, but maybe it was rotc. Take ROTC courses and he wouldn't have to be drafted. He could stay and finish in law school, but he would owe the government two years in the Army.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Okay, so drafted no matter what. It was just a difference of timing.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Okay, so he ended up graduating as a lawyer.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
But then he goes to serve.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yes. And we went to Fort Bragg for two years, and he ended up being the legal officer for the training center there at Fort Bragg. They were starting to wind down the war at that point. And when we first married, he had orders to go to Vietnam, but they were closing down the training center as time went on. And his colonel said, tommy Baxey really wouldn't want you to go to Vietnam. Which he couldn't ask Tommy that, but he could put it through me. And he said, I need you to help me close the training center, so I want you to stay here. And he worked that out for us.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Was that a big relief for you as his wife?
Baxie (Baxter)
It was definitely.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
I'm sure at that time, too, you were seeing around you a lot of people that were serving and your friends, I would imagine, their husbands. Was that part of that experience?
Baxie (Baxter)
We lived off campus, off campus, off the base. And so the half the people that in our little subdivision were maybe related to the service and the other half wasn't. So we saw a little bit of both.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Yeah.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
So you were like, okay, you're gonna serve, but thankfully you're gonna serve here. You don't have to go anywhere. And did he serve his two years and then he was done?
Baxie (Baxter)
Yes.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
So stopped after and went to officially being just a lawyer.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yes.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
And what about you? What did your life look like in this time?
Baxie (Baxter)
Okay. I majored in math in college and got my secondary education degree so I could teach school. So I taught it the on base for about a half a year. I came it in January to a class that had driven off two. Two teachers the semester before. So I taught school for while he was in the service in North Carolina.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Did you like teaching? Was that something you had always wanted to do?
Baxie (Baxter)
I always loved math and I was always helping my classmates in math and even sometimes helping the teacher in math. And so I thought if I ever have to have a job, this is what I would want to do.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
I'm going to be really honest with you. The one subject I was terrible at in school was math, and I still to this day don't think I can do much math.
Baxie (Baxter)
Well, you know, some people are gifted in other ways. Yes.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Yeah, very much. I could do just about everything else, but math was always my kryptonite. I just. It was the one thing I couldn't quite figure out. Did you continue teaching after he left the service?
Baxie (Baxter)
We had a baby right away when we got back to Tennessee, and I stayed home 12 years and then went back when the kids. By the, by the time I went back to teaching after 12 years and we had three kids and they were in like second grade, fifth grade, and seventh grade.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
What was it like for you as a stay at home mom? Was that something you wanted?
Baxie (Baxter)
Yes, I enjoyed being home with the kids, but then they would go to Mother's Day out some and I'd get babysitters and go do fun things too.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Yeah. So you had the experience of both getting to be home with him while also, I need a break for a little bit.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Okay. And you go back to teaching after.
Baxie (Baxter)
Those 12 years talk for 25 years.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Wow. So when you look at your life and you're kind of looking over the course of your entire life, is there things you wish you would have known in that process or things you wish people would have told you or anything that you just think about and you're like, dang, I really wish I would have known more about this.
Baxie (Baxter)
Not that I can think of offhand.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Okay.
Baxie (Baxter)
To me, I think I've had a pretty happy life and fulfilled life and things are a little bit rougher now, but this is a good place to be in our situation. So.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
And you and your husband now, is he still with us?
Baxie (Baxter)
Yes, he is. He's in memory care.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Okay. And what is that relationship like now you've married? You told me 56 years me about that. How do you even manage to stay with somebody for 56 years? And what does it look like to.
Baxie (Baxter)
Me, marriage is not a 50, 50 proposition. I think each side has to do a lot more. I think it's better 90, 90. It's something you work at and you can't just Say you did that, so I get to do this. There has to be compromise and sometimes you have to give in more than you want, but you still want to have that marriage and be together.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Were there moments through your guys's marriage that were really tough on you guys and you were like, I don't know how we made it through this.
Baxie (Baxter)
When he first he was a district attorney and when we first moved back to his hometown, this was in 73, he was an assistant DA for 11 counties. So he was on the road a lot and the kids were little and it would have been maybe a little bit easier for him to be home a little bit more, but he was the one that was making the money and providing a living for us, so I couldn't complain about that.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Yeah, you have gotten to live both lifestyles, right? The traditional life's a little bit more of the modern where you did work and your kids. What are maybe tips that you can give for people? Maybe they're new moms, maybe they're moms who are going through it, but through different phases as the stay at home mom and as the more non traditional mom.
Baxie (Baxter)
You just do what you have to do is what I would say. I looked at the future and with his salary and thinking of colleges and the kids going to school, I thought I need to get back out in the work workforce and help and make a little money too, so the kids can go to college where they want to go and so forth.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Was that hard for you to transition from the stay at home mom to then going back to work?
Baxie (Baxter)
No, it. The nice thing about teaching is that my hours were very close to the kids hours, so I didn't have to worry about babysitting and that type of thing. When I was out of school, they were out of school, or when they were out of school, so was I. You know, that that made it easier. So to me, teaching for a mother is easier than other jobs for that reason.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
What did you learn about kids? Maybe it's a funny thing because you were a teacher, but you were also a mother. What's things that you've learned about kids over so many years in education and as a mom, that might be wisdom for some other people.
Baxie (Baxter)
Some of the students that I had as students, I wouldn't have given you a nickel farm when I had them in school, but as they matured and grew up and so forth. There was this one guy and I told him, I said, I wouldn't have given a nickel from you in high school. And he became a great mechanic and we take our cars to him. And I've told him that. He said, oh, I know, Ms. Thompson, I was just terrible. I was just terrible in school.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
It's so funny to see. I would imagine. Now, is there a lot of those instances where you've had students when they were really young and now you've gotten to see where they are in their life?
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah. And it can be rewarding. And sometimes they'll come back to you and say, man, I hated you in high school, but you really did help me with this, this and this.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Were you one of those teachers that was really strict or did you do more of the fun side of teaching?
Baxie (Baxter)
No, I never got the most popular teacher, let's put it that way. But I think my students did well when they went to school.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
You wanted it to be an educational experience more than it was about being their friend.
Baxie (Baxter)
Right.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
And you need both. In all honesty, you need both types of teachers. And especially in math, you need the educational type because that's a particular subject that's a little bit hard to just have fun and also understand what's happening. So I do understand that.
Ed Helms
Hey everyone, Ed Helms here and hi, I'm Cal Penn and we're the hosts of Irsay The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast I am sitting down with Jenny Garth, host of the iHeart podcast. I choose me to discuss the new Audible adaptation of the timeless Jane Austen classic Pride and Prejudice. This is not a trick question. There's no wrong answer. What role would I play?
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You know what?
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
I can see you as Mr. Darcy.
Annabe Sofa Advertiser
You got a little call in Firth.
Ed Helms
Okay, that's really sweet, I appreciate that. But are you sure I'm not the dad? I'm not Mr. Bennett here. Listen to Earsay the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Ed Helms
Limu Imu and Doug. Here we have the Limu Emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us.
Ed Helms
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Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
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Baxie (Baxter)
Snow globe, throw pillows and PJs for.
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Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
What's your age?
Baxie (Baxter)
I'm 78.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
78. So you get to this different part of your life and people start to have all these questions of do you have any regrets? What's something you wish you did? Is there anything that comes to mind for you?
Baxie (Baxter)
Not really.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Nothing?
Baxie (Baxter)
Not really.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
How does that feel to know, like you can look back on your life and you don't have a regret?
Baxie (Baxter)
There were things that maybe some of my friends did in high school that I didn't do. When I went to the girls high school, a lot of them did their debut and were growing up in New Orleans. They were the carnival and all that stuff and I was friends with them, but it was not something that our family was that involved with. But so somebody might say, oh, is that something you missed? And not really. It wasn't that important when you look.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Back at things is that often when you do look back at things and you realize that there was stuff that you stressed out about that weren't actually worth what you stressed out about.
Baxie (Baxter)
Probably. But there again, would have to think about that for a while to come up with a answer.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
There is there stuff you're really glad that you did do and you made sure that you made happen in your life. Because I think you. You talk to people and they look at their life and they're like, oh, I'm really glad that I made sure I traveled. Or I'm really glad that I got married. What are those keystone moments?
Baxie (Baxter)
I wanted to be married. That was. It was something that I just assumed would happen at some point in time in my life. I've retired from teaching in 07, and right at that same time, my sister came down with ovarian cancer. And it was just a good time that I did retire. She lived in Pennsylvania and we were in Tennessee. But I got to spend about three months of the last 10 months of her life. I would go up there every two or three weeks and spend good bit of time helping care for her and so forth.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
I'm really glad.
Baxie (Baxter)
But I was glad that I had that opportunity.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
The spending time with people that you love.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
It's such a. An important part that often it's difficult to make time for in life is happening.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
But it's cool to hear you say that was a priority for you and you can look at that moment. No, I did everything.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
That I could.
Baxie (Baxter)
She was ten year. Ten and a half years older than I was. So in a way she was like a second mother too.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
No. Was that your only sister? Did you have other siblings?
Baxie (Baxter)
I have a brother that's still with us.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Okay. And how close are you guys today?
Baxie (Baxter)
He was nine and a half years older. So I was kind of like an only child in a way.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
You were the baby.
Baxie (Baxter)
I was the baby. Yes, olden child.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
You were. Did you have a different experience than them growing up?
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah, I think I did because they were in high school or even through college by the time I started doing some things. Every so often, my mother would make my sister take me on a date when she didn't have a babysitter for me or something.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
So you would be the third wheel.
Baxie (Baxter)
On the day and I'd sit between the two of them.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Hey, that was a learning experience for her to figure out how the guy handled things.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yep.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
That was great. What was your favorite date that you Went on with her.
Baxie (Baxter)
They'd take me to the movies.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
I love this. And you just sit there in between them?
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Would they get you popcorn and candy and everything?
Baxie (Baxter)
One time my sister got sick and the boy came and took me anyway.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Tell me that boy ended up to be the husband.
Baxie (Baxter)
No, he didn't.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
But that was a good one.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
I wonder where he is today.
Baxie (Baxter)
He's still in New Orleans, I think he's still alive. I'm not quite sure. I know he was at my sister's funeral, so. But it's been several years since then.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Did watching your sister day and having those experience help you understand what you were looking for? Because you did say you really wanted to get married.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah. She got divorced a couple years after she got married. So the first one turned out not to be the best one.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
You learned some lessons through that. What was the things when you first met your husband? Can you tell me your guys's first meeting story? You said you met in college?
Baxie (Baxter)
He had a job off campus giving exercise to recruits for the police department and for the highway patrol in Donaldson. And on the weekends he would come and sometimes crash at one of a good friend's apartment in town. And at the end of the year he had gotten a keg of beer and to thank him and invited people over to have a kind of an end of the school thing. And I had a date with a friend of Tommy's that he had just run into on the cave golf course. They were both running. And Tommy said, come on. And Tommy asked the boy who he had a date with. And he described me and he said, oh, I know who she is. You all come on to the party.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
So this was your guys's first date?
Baxie (Baxter)
No, it was. I was with this other guy, our first date. And who I always thought was really cutest guy in the world. And I was so excited to have a date with him. And then we went to the party and I met Tommy. And I could have cared less after that for that boy.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
That is so funny. So that moment forward was your guys's?
Baxie (Baxter)
Yes. Yeah.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
How quickly after the party did you guys go on your first date?
Baxie (Baxter)
Tommy says it was the next night, but I thought it was the next week. I'm not quite sure, but it was pretty quick.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
So you both felt the same way?
Baxie (Baxter)
I guess so was it.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Do you guys look at that and say it was love at first sight?
Baxie (Baxter)
Sometimes he had to. He was fighting it, shall we say?
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Okay.
Baxie (Baxter)
He put up a little bit of a struggle, but slowly reeled him In.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Was it love at first sight for you?
Baxie (Baxter)
It was.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
So you very much believe in that, that that's a possibility. And did you learn things about yourself over the course of your marriage and relationship with him that maybe you hadn't learned about yourself quite yet because you were, I would assume, somewhere 20, 21 when you met him?
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah. Let's see. I would have been 20. Yeah.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Okay.
Baxie (Baxter)
22 when we married.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Okay. So met around 20.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
And got married a few years later.
Baxie (Baxter)
And he's five years older, so he was 27.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Okay. And you're telling me you had to do the convincing with him?
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah. He was the FIR. 1. The oldest of four boys and the first one to maybe be in the situation to get married and so forth. And it was just a little hard for him to settle down maybe. But it's.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
It. It's always the guys.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah, it's.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
And it's the first plunge, but you probably too. Do you recall your guys's proposal when he did propose to you?
Baxie (Baxter)
My parents at this point were living in the Bahamas, and we. Tommy and I had both got gone down there and with he. I didn't realize it, but he was going to propose down there. And my grandmother was still alive and she had taken us out to dinner. I got up and go to the bathroom. Tommy tells my grandmother that he's going to ask me to marry him. And so I come back to the table and my grandmother says, oh, I hear you all are getting married. So that was our proposal.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
No, right before it's supposed to happen. Did he just go red in the face?
Baxie (Baxter)
No, I can't really remember what happened after that, but.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
So did he have the ring with him?
Baxie (Baxter)
He didn't have a ring. Okay. But we came back to Tennessee and we went shopping and we picked out one, and then we came back later and picked it up and turned out it was a little bit bigger one than he had showed me the first time around.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
And wow, gosh, Grandma, how did you do that? Was he then. Did he just kind of look at you potentially and was like, so you want to get married? Yeah, it was just awkward.
Baxie (Baxter)
We worked out.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Obviously, you're still married today. So sometimes the. It's always the funny ways that they happen that sometimes you see the very grandiose proposals and the things. And those are often the ones that don't quite work. It's the ones that happen like this that work out because you learn to roll with the punches.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
And it sounds like both of you are that.
Ed Helms
Hey, everyone. Ed Helms here. And hi, I'm Kal Penn and we're the hosts of Earsay the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Jenny Garth, host of the iHeart podcast. I choose me to discuss the new Audible adaptation of the timeless Jane Austen classic Pride and Prejudice. This is not a trick question. There's no wrong answer. What role would I play?
Annabe Sofa Advertiser
You know what?
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
I can see you as Mr. Darcy.
Annabe Sofa Advertiser
You got a little Colin Firth.
Ed Helms
Okay, that's really sweet. I appreciate that. But are you sure I'm not the dad? I'm not Mr. Bennett. Here, listen to Earsay the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Ed Helms
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Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Uh, Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us.
Ed Helms
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Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
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Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
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Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
So personality wise, how are each of you guys? How would you describe each of you guys?
Baxie (Baxter)
Okay. He is very outgoing. He's a people person. He's loves people and knows everybody. And I'm probably not quite as a people person, but I like to know people too, and so forth. But I guess we're both fairly outgoing.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Okay. That's always beneficial, too. And did you guys, since you met at a party and did you guys. Were you guys the type of couple that loved to host and do things with your friends and stuff as you guys were coming up, or were you focused on the kid thing? Because that happened pretty quickly.
Baxie (Baxter)
We married two years before the first one came.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Okay.
Baxie (Baxter)
But we had just moved back to Nashville. There was a lot of his classmates lived in Nashville or stayed in Nashville. So there was a group of law friends that we got to be good friends with and would party with and so forth.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
See, I love learning about your. The younger version of you because now you today, what is your life like? You're in the Aves Garden community. What has that been like as life has transitioned and your kids have gotten older and life's been happening?
Baxie (Baxter)
It's quite different. In a way, I'm enjoying not having to think about what to cook at night. I enjoy cooking. If you tell me what to make, after a while you just get tired of trying to think of what to cook. I've gotten where I can go back. I'm playing bridge with friends here at the aids, which was something I did. Had to give up when I went back to teaching our kids. Two of our kids live here in town, so get to see some of the grandchildren more often. Our third child lives in Lebanon, which isn't too far away. Have seven grandchildren. Wow.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
So transition from we've got stay at home mom and then we had working mom and now we have grandma.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
And great grandma. No, just grandma.
Baxie (Baxter)
Just grandma.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Okay. And what's. What is it like having grandkids? Is it a different experience than having kids of your own?
Baxie (Baxter)
Yes. Because you can give them back.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
You don't have to watch everything they do.
Baxie (Baxter)
But you really. It's a different kind of love. And you Just you get to enjoy it without all as many diaper changes and so forth. Responsibilities. You can just enjoy them more.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Yeah. It's much more of a fun experience than you don't have all the responsibility anymore. What is the hardest part? Maybe that has been. And maybe it's not hard. Maybe it's just different. But about getting older and life changing.
Baxie (Baxter)
With my husband in the Alzheimer's. I still have a husband, but he's not my husband. And that's been a hard thing for me to. You regret what's going on right now to have to be in this situation. This has been a good place to be that I can get over to see him very easily as much as I want. You don't have to get in the car and drive and it's pretty easy for the kids to get here and so forth. So we're trying to make the best of a unfortunate situation, but not one that we're going through alone. For sure.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Yeah.
Baxie (Baxter)
There are lots of people going through this.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
You have the support here. Yes. And that's why I always find it really important to talk about it because it's. It's one of those things that people often find really difficult to talk about because of how hard it is. But there's so many people that are going through this and I think when people can know that they're not alone in that experience and that it is hard. And the emotions and things that you're going through while it's happening are all very normal and all you want to do is love them and be there for them. And sometimes that's not even an option. And I think that's really hard for people. But to know that there's others who are experiencing that same thing is really beneficial.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
And it's a support group in a way.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yes. Yes, it is. And sometimes we'll get together and tell stories about what our husbands are doing and we can laugh about some of the things and so forth.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Is it helpful for you when you go to see him? Does he remember some of the earlier days of your guys's relationship?
Baxie (Baxter)
I would say so. We don't really talk about it too much. Because you don't. I don't want him to feel that he's forgotten things. He still. He would like to go back. He's not quite sure where we're living right now. He's confused about that. We lived in just a small town called Hartsville, Tennessee.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
It's okay. It's okay. And what have you learned as somebody who is not Only are you his partner and his wife, but you are someone who's also dealing with somebody who has the memory loss. What's something you've learned in that experience that, you know, you just wish people knew or maybe you just want to share because it's important.
Baxie (Baxter)
I've got to remember that it's not him at times, it's the disease. Because how just like a child, you want them to behave and especially when they're out with people and so forth. And I have to remind myself that it's not his fault. This is just his progression and it is what it is. And pick what battles to fight and what battles to just. If he wants to sleep in his clothes for three days, that's not the end of the world.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Yeah. Yeah. Very much pick and choose what's necessary to be concerned about.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Is it also helpful you do have your kids and your grandchildren. Is it helpful when they're around to support you?
Baxie (Baxter)
Definitely.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
To keep you momentum and continuing to deal with that.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Because I can imagine the emotional toll it takes on you. You want to spend time with him while also. That juxtaposition is. It's also hard.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yes. Yes.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
So getting you to recharge your batteries, probably hanging out with your kids.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah. It helps. It helps.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
And playing games.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
With the friends downstairs. How do you take care of yourself now? Because you are. You look amazing. What's the secret to you and your health?
Baxie (Baxter)
I walk five miles every morning.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
You walk? I don't even walk five miles every day. That's incredible.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Have you done that your whole life, or is this a newer thing?
Baxie (Baxter)
I've always been doing exercise or playing tennis or whatever. In high school, I played volleyball and basketball and tennis and in college, and not for the college team or anything like that, but I played sorority and we. I played on Memorial Gymnasium floor.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
That's amazing. So we have an athlete on our hands over here.
Baxie (Baxter)
But I did. I enjoy being outside and I enjoy eating. And if I walk five miles a day, I can just about eat what I want.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
That's called balance. Yes, we like it. This is good. And anything else. Is there any other hobbies or things that you enjoy at this point in.
Baxie (Baxter)
Your life, like working jigsaw puzzles? Okay.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Puzzles.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yes.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
That's very good for brain health, too, I've learned. And it makes sense why they frustrate me so much. Very much. Part of that. I always love to end these episodes with a piece of advice or motivation. So maybe a piece of life advice. Does that sound like something you are up for or maybe something that you're really passionate about and you just want to share with the world. That can be an option too.
Baxie (Baxter)
See, I do have one kind of weird thing in my life. Yeah?
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Please share. I love weird things.
Baxie (Baxter)
My mother and daddy were stepbrother and sister. What?
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
What? Okay, so their parents got together.
Baxie (Baxter)
My mother's mother died. My daddy's daddy died. The surviving parents married when my mother was maybe 9 and my dad 12. And they grew up together and ended up getting married.
Annabe Sofa Advertiser
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Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Was that always a running joke of the family?
Baxie (Baxter)
It wasn't a joke, but when they wanted to get. They wanted to get married. When my mother was getting out of high school and they said no, Eleanor was my mother's name. You go on to college if you still feel the same way, then you'll have our blessings. Because the parents were worried about if you get a divorce, if it doesn't work, you're still.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
You're still family.
Baxie (Baxter)
You're still family. Exactly. But it. They were married like 67 years, so.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Okay, so the. Their parents were okay with it as long as they waited and really thought about it.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yes, exactly.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Okay. But then they ended up being married for 60 some years.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah. So it worked.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Wow, that's so crazy. When you learn that story, were you like, wait, what? Yeah. Did it kind of take you back? You're like, these are. You're my parents. But this feels weird.
Baxie (Baxter)
I felt like I was special because I only had one set of grandparents and some of my cousins had other sets. But so I got doted upon by the one set of grandparents that I did have.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Wow, that's so fun. Fun fact. Is that the fun fact you always brought when you would go?
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah, sometimes I almost got on a quiz show.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
What, like a game show?
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah, I tried out in Nashville. And I know putting that on my. You would fill out what was interesting about you. And I put that my parents were brother and sister.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
How did that not get you on automatically?
Baxie (Baxter)
I got to where we did a. Like a play show.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Okay.
Baxie (Baxter)
I didn't win. It was tic tac toe or something like that.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Not a good tic tac toe player.
Baxie (Baxter)
I didn't win the game, so I didn't get to be on the contestant on the show. But it was still a fun experience.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Wow. That's a very big fun fact. Did anybody else in your family go on to marry each other? Was it just them?
Baxie (Baxter)
Just them.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Okay.
Baxie (Baxter)
No blood relation there now?
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
No, no. But it's always funny because it's. It's not. There's no weirdness to it because they're not related, but they're half related.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
And more than anything, it would be weird for their parents than anybody else. Then everybody else is just kind of okay, yeah, that's. Funny story. But the parents would be the ones to be like, no, we're married first. Wow. Okay. That was a good thing to. To end on. Did you also want to share life advice, too? Are you just.
Baxie (Baxter)
When you. When we got the diagnosis, it, it was hard, but you just have to roll with the punches and just make the best of the situation and keep going forward. Just do the best you can.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
That is good. And it also sounds like that's what you guys have been doing in your marriage your entire life. So I'm glad that you're here to share your story and thank you for sharing and also being vulnerable and also sharing the funny moments. But also just to say that hopefully as you guys move forward through all of this, that you just have the support and love that you need to continue.
Baxie (Baxter)
Yeah. Because it's. That's important to have.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
It's all that matters. If there's anything I've Learned in my 32 years of life is those that are in your life, who you love and care for are genuinely what propel you forward always. Thank you very much for being here.
Baxie (Baxter)
Thank you. Thank you.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Abe's Garden Community is a local treasure here in Nashville, doing amazing work caring for and engaging people living with memory loss. They're expanding to help even more families, and they rely on support from people like us. We all have aging brains, so supporting Abe's Garden benefits us all. And if you're interested in learning more on how to help, you can do so@abesgarden.org Baxie wrapped up this series on senior living residents, but if you want to hear more of these stories, let me know because I'm happy to keep doing them. Also, if there are any other topics you hope to hear, this podcast is all for you. It's meant to help you and inspire you. I'm just kind of the vessel that it's going through. If you will, be sure to check out all these videos on YouTube if you're a more visual person like myself or follow on Instagram akethispersonally. I hope everyone is getting into the holiday spirit. I know I am, and have a wonderful week. I'm so happy that you're here. Talk soon.
Ed Helms
Hey, audiobook lovers. I'm Cal Penn. I'm Ed Helms. Ed and I are inviting you to join the best sounding book club you've heard with our new podcast, Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. Each week we sit down with your favorite iHeart podcast hosts and some very special guests to discuss the latest and greatest audiobooks from audible. Listen to Earsay on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Follow Earsay and start listening on the free iHeartradio app today.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Okay, only 10 more presents to wrap.
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Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
First.
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Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Enjoy a Coca Cola for a pause that refreshes. No, it's not too soon to start holiday shopping. Ulta Beauty's early Black Friday event is happening now through November. Shop $10 beauty minis from brands like.
Baxie (Baxter)
Mac and too faced.
Podcast Host (possibly Kal Penn)
Take 30% off Lancome and Touchland fragrances and body mists. With new offers dropping every week, our associates can help you find the perfect gifts. Head into Ulta Beauty today to shop our early Black Friday event Ulta Beauty Gifting Happens Here.
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Podcast: The Bobby Bones Show / Take This Personally
Host: Morgan Huelsman
Date: November 16, 2025
Guest: Baxie (“Baxter”), 78-year-old resident of Abe’s Garden, Nashville
Theme: Wisdom from a lifelong marriage, life as a teacher, and the realities of caring for a spouse with Alzheimer’s
In this heartfelt and insightful episode, Morgan Huelsman sits down with Baxie, a 78-year-old wife, mother, grandmother, retired teacher, and resident of the Abe’s Garden senior community in Nashville. The conversation delves into 56 years of marriage, the joys and challenges of raising a family and being a working mom, and the hard truths and small victories of supporting a loved one through Alzheimer’s. Baxie’s story is rich with wisdom, nostalgia, humor, and honesty.
“Marriage is not a 50-50 proposition. I think it’s better 90-90. It’s something you work at and you can’t just say you did that, so I get to do this…sometimes you have to give in more than you want, but you still want to have that marriage and be together.” – Baxie ([11:02])
“Some of the students that I had...I wouldn’t have given you a nickel for ‘em when I had them in school, but as they matured and grew up...he became a great mechanic and we take our cars to him.” – Baxie ([13:27])
“I’ve got to remember that it’s not him at times, it’s the disease…if he wants to sleep in his clothes for three days, that’s not the end of the world.” – Baxie ([34:49])
Q: "Is there anything you wish you did?...Any regrets?" "Not really." – Baxie ([18:16])
“I walk five miles every morning.” – Baxie ([36:06])
“My mother and daddy were stepbrother and sister…their parents married…they grew up together and ended up getting married.” – Baxie ([37:29])
Baxie’s life offers a testament to endurance, adaptability, and the sustaining power of community and family, especially in the face of adversity. Her advice to “roll with the punches” and “just do the best you can” feels hard-earned and universally relevant.
Listener takeaway: Appreciate your loved ones, embrace the unpredictability of life, and find support wherever you can—whether through family, friends, or community.
For more stories like Baxie’s, and to learn about supporting people with memory loss, visit abesgarden.org.