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The Bobby Bones Show
The Lies Women Believe About Their Bodies Part 1: “I’ll Be Happy When…” (Outweigh)
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- [00:01]
Lexi Brown
I'm so sick of hearing men talk about women's basketball. This is Lexi Brown and Mariah Rose and we've got a new podcast, Full Circle. Every Wednesday, we're catching you up on what's going on in women's basketball. We've got you with analysis, inside stories and a little bit of tea. Full circle is an iHeart women's sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Full circle on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by E L F Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports.
- [00:31]
Martin Luther King III
Welcome to my Legacy. I'm Martin Luther King III and together with my wife, Andrea Waters King, and our dear friends Mark and Craig Kilburger, we explore the personal journeys that shape extraordinary lives.
- [00:43]
Leanne Ellington
Join us for heartfelt conversations with remarkable guests like David Oyelo, Mel Robbins, Martin Sheen, Dr. Sanjay Gupta and Billy Porter. Listen to my legacy on the iHeartRadio app. I Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. This is my legacy.
- [01:01]
Bobby Bones
Calling all Yellowstone fans, let's go to work. Join Bobby Bones on the official Yellowstone Podcast for exclusive cast interviews, behind the scenes insights and a deep dive into the themes that have made Yellowstone a cultural phenomenon. Our family legacy is this ranch and I protect.
- [01:21]
Amy
I live my life.
- [01:22]
Bobby Bones
Listen to the official Yellowstone podcast Now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
- [01:31]
Alec Baldwin
Hey, it's Alec Baldwin. This past season on my podcast, here's the thing. I spoke with more actors, musicians, policymakers and so many other fascinating people like writer and actor Dan Aykroyd.
- [01:46]
Dan Aykroyd
I love writing more than anything. You're left alone, you know, you do three hours in the morning, you write three hours in the afternoon. Go pick up a kid from school and write at night. And after nine hours you come out with 7pa and then you're moving on.
- [01:59]
Alec Baldwin
Listen to here's the thing on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
- [02:07]
H
I won't let my body outweigh Outweigh everything that I made I won't spend my life trying to change I'm learning to love who I am I am strong I feel free I know every part of me is beautiful and I will out way if you feel it Put your hands in the air show some love to the mirror while you're there let's take it one day at a time Cause you and I Out.
- [02:40]
Amy
Way Happy Saturday out way Amy here with my co host Leanne Ellington. Hey, Leanne.
- [02:48]
Leanne Ellington
Hello. Hello.
- [02:49]
Amy
And we have another special for you. This is a series that Leanne came up with, and I am absolutely obsessed with it. It is called the Lies Women Believe About Their Bodies. And I just gotta say, if you're a guy listening right now, it's okay. You could be believing lies about your bodies as well. But Leanne and I are women, and we interact mostly with women on this topic. So that's the title of the series, the Lies Women and maybe Some Men Believe About Their Bodies. And over the next four episodes, we're going to be peeling back the layers on the beliefs and stories that a lot of us carry, including me, including Leanne. Stories that hold us back, stories that keep us stuck, and stories that just stop us from living in the freedom that we deserve. And Leanne and I have been shackled before, and now we both are experiencing freedom, and we want that for you listening as well. And maybe you believe that your happiness is tied to a number on the scale or a particular clothing size, or maybe you have felt like you're the only one struggling or that no matter what you do, like, you will never measure up if those sentences, those words resonate with you in any way, shape or form. I mean, Leanne will back me up on this. You are not alone. Absolutely. And so we're gonna go into these lies. We're gonna shine light on the truth and then help you step into a new way of seeing yourself. Each episode in this four part series is gonna explore a different lie. It's gonna unpack keeping you stuck, like, whatever it is that's keeping you stuck. And we got some tools for you, really practical, doable tools and strategies that'll help you get that confidence that you desire, get that peace and freedom that. I don't know, Leanne. I mean, I'll just speak for myself, but I used to never think that peace was possible for me. I just sort of thought, well, this is just how I'm gonna live the rest of my life. I'm just wired this way, and these are my thoughts, and I'm gonna always have them. Beautiful thing is, that is not the case. I was completely wrong. And you can find peace and freedom because here's the truth. You are more than a number on the scale. You are more than whatever you see in the mirror. You're more than what you've been taught to believe about yourself and Leanne. And I just want to encourage you with that. And so we're going to dive in to the lies. We're Going to rewrite the stories that you have in your head. And that's what we're gonna do the next four weeks. Today, the first lie is I'll be happy when. So that's what we're gonna focus on for today's episode. I will be happy when. And I feel like we've all done this. Leigh Ann, why do you want this to be the number one first episode? What we start with lie. Do you think it's the most popular?
- [05:36]
Leanne Ellington
I think it is. I think it's the most kind of deceptive and deceitful and sneaky, you know, and. And I love everything about what you just said. And really, you know, what we have to keep in mind first and foremost is that I know I was constantly trying to take logic and reason approaches to my struggles and trying to, like, figure it out and trying to dissect it. And you can do all of the, you know, brain change and behavior change and all of that till the cows come home, but if you are believing your way into an opposite direction, your beliefs will out trump your behaviors every single time. And that's why these are so important. And so when we're talking about these big, overarching or, you know, meta beliefs, this big, I'll be happy when. And yes, we tend to talk about, you know, we're talking about the lies about that we believe about food and our bodies. Bodies. But this is really paramount everywhere in our life. It's pervasive. I'll be happy when I lose the weight. I'll be happy when I heal. You know, my food and body struggles. But then it can, you know, exacerbate it outwards. I'll be happy when I live in a different city or I'll be happy when I make that money or when I get that job or I'm in that relationship. And these are the kinds of things that we don't even think about it because we're like, oh, that doesn't have to do with food, or that doesn't have to do with my actual physical health, but it absolutely does, because, again, we will never live and behave past our beliefs or we'll always be trying to out, willpower out, discipline out, motivate them, rather than just go to the source of it, right? Which is the beliefs and what we're thinking, what we believe to be true about ourselves because we're kind of living in this alternate universe or alternate reality, right? Which is very different than, you know, imagination or envisioning or, you know, that side of things. And so when it comes to our happiness, being tied to a specific weight, a specific size or appearance, it also keeps us from solving the real problem and it keeps us chasing these, these kind of, you know, for lack of a better way of saying it, worldly things. These, these outcome driven, quantifiable things that nobody says, like, I want to lose weight because I just love that number on the scale. It's like, no, I want to lose the weight because I want to feel free in my body. I want to wear what I want to wear, do what I want to do, be who I want to be. Right. It's not about the thing itself. Right. Nobody says I want to have a certain size or appearance, you know, because this, again, this specific number means something to me.
- [07:45]
Amy
Let me ask you a question though, regarding that, Leanne. Like, when you had certain goals that you were trying to get to, which is it's okay to still have health goals in recovery, by the way. I'm not saying we can't have goals, because we can. However, in your disordered behavior, if you had a goal and you got there, were you happy? And if you were happy, did it last?
- [08:04]
Leanne Ellington
Absolutely. It's like, if we are so busy looking for the next thing, the next thing, the next thing, how are we, how are we going to even know to enjoy it when it arrives? If our, our nervous system, if our self image hasn't learned to appreciate who we are, if all we. Is that nitpicky perfectionism, never gonna be enough, which is another one that we're gonna be talking about, right? You will, it will completely pass you by.
- [08:24]
Amy
Yeah. You're not, it's, it's fleeting and. Cause you think it's gonna be a game changer. At least that was my experience. It's like when I get to this weight or achieve this goal with my body, food, whatever, it was fleeting. I was like, shoot. Well, this doesn't make me as happy as I thought it was going to, but there's momentary joy and like, oh, okay, yeah, I did this, but then entered the next torture. The next goal, which ended up being torture.
- [08:53]
Leanne Ellington
Yeah. And here's the thing. Like, think about it. I wanted to look. I was about to look up the actual statistic. I'm sure somebody could find it very easily in a quick Google, but it's extremely higher. Remember this, that the percentage of people that win the lottery, if they have never learned how to manage their thoughts and beliefs and emotions and behaviors and patterns around money, again, you will always end up in alignment. Back with that right and so the percentage of people that make their money through just literally winning the lottery and then end up broke very quickly thereafter versus people that make their money through work and blood, sweat and tears and all of that, it is, it was a staggering number. And so that's the kind of thing if you don't become the version of yourself that can actually live that way. And not to mention the habits as well. Right? Because it's like if you're doing it in a way that gets you to these unsustainable habits, you're not gonna be able to keep it anyways. But this idea that, you know, there's this narrative of something that happens outside of us that's gonna make us happy, that's going to be magically there at the end of a, of a, or, you know, some sort of, of dangling carrot, that is the biggest lie. And, and here's the thing, you're also allowed to not be happy with where you are. You're allowed to want to up level and upgrade and all those things. But if you don't learn how to cultivate and happiness is fleeting too, but like even just cultivating peace in the moment right now while you go, you're going to bring all of that energy, you're going to bring that, you know, weathered nervous system with you into it. And so even like who you will be at the end of that rainbow when you, are you going to like her? Are you going to trust her? Are you going to value her? Are you going to be able to depend on her? These are the kinds of things that nobody talks about. And you'll never like, bridge that gap with weight loss alone.
- [10:38]
Amy
Yeah, I just tried to look up the lottery statistics and mostly I just found a bunch of articles saying that their happiness level did not increase when they were measured against a control group of people that had not won the lottery.
- [10:52]
Leanne Ellington
Okay, So I just Chat GPT it. So obviously Chat GPT is, is the new Google nowadays, right? But it says 70% of lottery winners go broke within a few years. So it's 70%. And it says some key reasons include lack of financial literal literacy, overspending on lavish lifestyles, poor investment decisions, and then difficulty adjusting to a new financial reality. So insert fill in the blank for anything that I just said. Those factors transfer over to everything else. Right? And so part of it just to kind of sum this up, like, yes, it's about the belie beliefs, but it's also about practically saying like, okay, well then what beliefs do I need if I want to be Happy at the end of this metaphorical rainbow. Right? It's like, okay, if, if I'll be happy. When is the lie? What's the truth? Right? And the truth is really that first and foremost, happiness, joy, peace, all the things that you're looking for, it's not waiting for you at the end of this diet or this goal or this again, metaphorical rainbow. It's something that you can choose now by learning to reframe your beliefs about yourself, by learning to, you know, create self worth and self image and, and peace in your nerv. Working on your inner. While you go work on that physical stuff. You're allowed to have the physical goals make you happier or better or healthier. But like, if it is the sole source of happiness that you think you're depending on, we're just inviting you to look at it as the lie.
- [12:10]
Amy
I'm glad you clarified that because there can be satisfaction in achieving your goals. What I was implying earlier was exactly that, that if that's the sole reason why you're doing something is to kind of feed that monster that's in us. Those of us that have distorted body image stuff or disordered eating behaviors.
- [12:29]
Leanne Ellington
Just to clarify, it's not either or. It's and slash both. Get the happiness now and get it while you go versus like, oh, I'll just wait now and I have it then or I have it now.
- [12:39]
Amy
I think too. Like you could insert like depending on how you grew up. Like when we're little girls, it's like, well, I'll be happy when I meet the right person and I get married. And then you end up forcing that. And you don't end up in this, this like, right situation because you just aren't approaching it in a healthy manner. It's more just to check a box.
- [12:56]
Leanne Ellington
Yeah. What you're willing to receive, like, what kind of relationship is it? Same thing. What kind of body do you want? Do you want it like, you know, for me it was. I was air quote skinny on the outside and so unhealthy on the inside, you know, and I sacrifice my health for skinny. So these are the kinds of distinctions that are so important to highlight. And I love that you just threw that in. It's so true.
- [13:14]
Amy
Yeah. I think back to. I've shared this before, but one of my mentors that was walking through my bulimia when I was younger and she was a former bulimic, but she just said, you have to look at it like a slow suicide. I was slowly killing my insides every time I was participating in that behavior, but it was to help me get towards a goal. And outwardly sometimes I would seem totally fine, but I don't have a clue what was going on internally with some of my organs and my esophagus. But then, you know, you get to a point where you can see inflammation, you can see it on the outside and I look back at pictures and I'm like, oh, that's so obvious. And I see the pain in my face. But more than just the physical pain my body was probably experiencing, I feel the emotional pain that I felt at that time because I was hurting, but I definitely was chasing, well, I'll be happy when. So this is definitely more than just the nugget that we give you on Saturdays Without Wealth. It's a big topic. This is just something that is for you to listen to. Every Saturday, we give short segments so it's not overwhelming or short episodes. And then we're going to continue the series. So next Saturday we're going to be touching on. I'm the only one who feels this way or struggles like this, which is sort of what I shared earlier of like, I have these thoughts and I'm just going to have them for the rest of my life. And I literally thought I was the only one in the world. And then when you open up and talk about it, you talk to other people and you're like, oh, wow, okay, so I'm not the only person that thinks this way. So we'll continue our series the Lies Women Believe About Their Bodies next Saturday. Until then, Leanne, where can people find you?
- [14:52]
Leanne Ellington
You can head on over to stressless eating.com and I'll walk you through a brain based version to just really heal your mind, soul, spirit, self image and brain when it comes to your relationship with food and your body.
- [15:03]
Amy
Yeah, Leanne's the expert and I'm very thankful for her insight. I am at Radio Amy on Instagram and we'll see you later. Bye.
- [15:11]
Lexi Brown
Bye. I'm so sick of hearing men talk about women's basketball. This is Lexi Brown and Mariah Rose and we've got a new podcast, Full Circle. Every Wednesday, we're catching you up on what's going on in women's basketball. We've got you with analysis, inside stories and a little bit of tea. Full circle is an iHeart women's sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Listen to Full circle on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports.
- [15:50]
Martin Luther King III
Welcome to my Legacy. I'm Martin Luther King III and together with my wife, Andrea Waters King, and our dear friends Mark and Craig Kilburger, we explore the personal journeys that shape extraordinary lives.
- [16:01]
Leanne Ellington
Join us for heartfelt conversations with remarkable guests like David Oyelo, Mel Robbins, Martin Sheen, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, and Billy Porter. Listen to my legacy on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is my Legacy.
- [16:20]
Bobby Bones
Calling all Yellowstone fans.
- [16:22]
Dan Aykroyd
Let's go to work.
- [16:24]
Bobby Bones
Join Bobby Bones on the official Yellowstone Podcast for exclusive cast interviews, behind the scenes insights, and a deep dive into the themes that have made Yellowstone a cultural phenomenon. Our family legacy is this ranch.
- [16:39]
Amy
My protector of my life.
- [16:41]
Bobby Bones
Listen to the official Yellowstone Podcast now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
- [16:49]
Alec Baldwin
Hey, it's Alec Baldwin. This past season on my podcast, here's the thing. I spoke with more actors, musicians, policymakers, and so many fascinating people like writer and actor Dan Aykroyd.
- [17:05]
Dan Aykroyd
I love writing more than anything. You're left alone, you know, you do three hours in the morning, you write three hours in the afternoon. Go pick up a kid from school and write at night. And after nine hours you come out with seven pages and then you're moving on.
- [17:17]
Alec Baldwin
Listen to here's the thing on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.