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Ray
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Coach
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Coach
You're on. Yeah, okay. Man, what a day. It's a great day. And I got, man, I got to tell you, nothing is better than making plans with someone like a week in advance because we got off on Monday. What did you say? You said, man, it's a beautiful day. You should go.
Ray
Do what when I told you to hook up with your wife?
Coach
No, that's when you said, man, you should. You may even get up, be able to get on the golf course.
Ray
I knew what I said. Ray, is that when you suggested inviting.
Coach
Another couple over my. I hate to tell you, the listeners didn't know what you said. So I was just like. So I was like, ray, duh, you know, I'm going to play golf on this beautiful Monday because. Oh, because random kid Cody, our old intern, he married another Internet. We had been texting for a week about going to play golf. Because we've been trying for a year, year and a half to play golf. He works overnight, so the only time he can go, he likes to go right when he gets off work, 7:00am.
Ray
I mean, you cater to him. I wish you did that for me, Ray. This is when he loves to hit that first ball.
Coach
No. And so I'm like, all right, dude, let's. Let's try to figure this out. And he texted me. Let me see when he texted me. It was great.
Ray
Yeah, let's get the timeline set. Smart.
Coach
Okay, here we go.
Ray
You're being so slow. I'm about to go take a piss and then come back.
Coach
He said, On Saturday, September 6th. He said, hey, September 10th through the 17th, when could you play? I said, are you off all that week? He said, no, but my wife's sister's in town, so I will get more sleep even if I play golf because there'll be help there for the kids.
Ray
I get it. Parenthood.
Coach
I said, I could play that Monday or Wednesday. He said that Monday would be ideal. I said, could you do about 1 or 1:30 or does it need to be morning? He said, no, I could play at those times. It's perfect.
Ray
You guys act like you're talking about like some tropical vacation. You guys are going to a local muni. That would be idyllic, Correct?
Coach
So this past Friday, I wanted to follow up with Cody the crystal clear.
Ray
Waters of the muni pond.
Coach
And I said, are we playing Monday? And he said, yeah. I said, okay, is 1 o' clock or 1:30 still good with you? And he goes, I'd prefer 1 o'. Clock.
Ray
Oh my gosh, get to the point. I don't, Ray. I gave him his breakfast ball at 100 2. Who gives a rip when Cody wants to play golf? That's why I play by myself.
Coach
I said, is Andrew coming and does the local muni work? He said, I'll ask him. I'm not sure if he's working that day. And yes, that course works. Then he replies, he's in. I said, okay, I will hit up my dude and get a tee time. I got a connection now. And they just told me that I can text him and he'll put us on the tee sheet. And he goes, dang, that's big time. The connections you need. I said, it only took 12 years of living here to finally have a connection at one golf course. He said, Saturday, 3:55pm My lady connections, dude.
Ray
My lady doesn't make me pay until I check out for the Day. If I go at the turn, she's like, honey, don't even worry about it. Get me on the way out.
Coach
I love that.
Ray
How's that not a connection?
Coach
That's a connection.
Ray
She lets me pay later.
Coach
That's pretty good layaway golf. I've never heard of it. And he said on Saturday at 3:55pm we get in. And I replied at 5:48pm he said he's off Monday, but the guys would try to get us in on the T sheet. Okay, the connection. The connection. So we get done with the pod on Monday. I go on, I post the pod, I close down my computer, laptop shut till tomorrow. That's right.
Ray
Understand the reference?
Coach
No.
Ray
Oh, my gosh.
Coach
Wolf of Wall street, all women.
Ray
It's, I guess, largely them women. On Friday, there's this meme where it says, slams laptop shut till Monday.
Coach
Oh.
Ray
And then it's like, I'm done with damn work. Boom. Slams a laptop shut. God, that's what you did.
Coach
I didn't. I didn't realize that. And so I drive to the local.
Ray
Muni slam tablet home till Monday, Ray.
Coach
I pull up at 12:51pm and I'm like, man, this is great. I text Cody. I said, hey, you here?
Ray
You up?
Coach
I said, is Andrew here? And I get out of the car, I change into my shorts, my golf shirt, put my golf hat on, and I grab the bag. And I'm about to walk up to the clubhouse, and there's a guy that's unloading his cart, and he's about to get in his car, and he goes, hey. And I said, you want me to take the cart? And he goes, that'd be awesome. I said, perfect. Saves me the walk.
Ray
Good timing.
Coach
Perfect timing. And so I throw the clubs on there, and I roll up to the clubhouse, and I said, hey, man, you know, we're here for the one. You know, we're three of us, blah, blah, blah. And he goes, all right, yeah, we'll get you out in a minute. I go outside, and Cody still hadn't texted me back about, are you here?
Ray
You up? That's the late night text to a chick when we were single. Are you up?
Coach
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Ray
The new version of that is, are you here? Hey, bro, where the Are you?
Coach
Yeah. And I call Cody. I said, dude, are you here? And he goes, no, I'm at the zoo.
Ray
You hear the zebras in the background?
Coach
And I'm like, what do you mean here at the zoo? I thought we've been planning this. I mean, I have the text message receipts. I have receipt at the receipt, at the receipt that we're doing this damn thing. At one o' clock on Monday, Housewives edition. He said, oh, I texted you later Saturday and said, do we need to come up with a backup plan? I'm like, you did? And I go back and look. And he goes, he did. He texted me at 7:32pm on Friday. We need a backup plan just in case. Question mark. But I don't understand, what backup plan did we need? We had golf set.
Ray
We sound like, dude. A bunch of monkeys trying to find our nuts.
Coach
He's like, sorry, man. So I'm at the zoo with the family.
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Oh.
Ray
As Justin would say, we sound like nutless apes.
Coach
I said, well, what about Andrew? Is he coming? He goes, no. I told him we weren't playing because you never. You said we didn't have a backup plan. And I guess I didn't realize I totally missed the text. That's my fault, right?
Ray
But were you taking the conversation saying, it's not for sure this guy's going to hook it up?
Coach
I said, they will try, but once you're at the golf course, you just got to tell them you're there and they'll put you on the sheet and get you out. So once you get there, you're not going to. Oh, no. Okay. And then drive to another course that takes 30 minutes and the day's ruined.
Ray
Sometimes you got to do it. If you try that one out by where I used to live in the west side.
Coach
Yeah. And so I was just like, crap, man. He goes, my bad, dude. He goes, we'll play one of these days. And I was like, I don't know if we will because this just. We had it set up a week in advance and it didn't come through. So I had this whole anticipation of seeing Cody. I haven't seen him, and I mean, at least six, seven months. I don't know what he looks like. Does he have long hair now? Does he have short hair?
Ray
Beards? Part probability.
Coach
Is the beard out of control? Like, is he pushing £300? Has he been working? I have no idea what's going on in his life.
Ray
I always just say, and especially with the convention people put £20 on him and some facial hair. You know, give it a year. I would say, really? A lot of our people, I don't see a buddy from college put 30 pounds on him. Longer hair, maybe a silver dollar in the back. Probably what he's going to look like.
Coach
So then I had a decision to make do, I go back to my car, pack up my bag, take off the golf shoes, and tuck my tail between my legs and go home.
Ray
Hey, do you want to take the cart back over there? Yeah, I'm not even gonna go. Yeah, you take it now. Back. I'm done already. I finished before you. But you had already finished 18 holes. You want to take the cart?
Coach
All right, or do I, since I'm at the golf course, Go ahead and play. Because I was anticipating playing and I was looking forward to a beautiful day on the course on a Monday. And I had to weigh those options. And I looked at myself and I'm like, well, I drove over here. It would kind of be a waste of gas money if I just turned around and went home now.
Ray
Gotta play.
Coach
So I went back into the clubhouse. I was like, hey, man, I'm mistaken. I told you three. It's just gonna be me.
Ray
I always mess up threes and ones.
Coach
Yeah, I get a little confused on my numbers, you know what I mean? It's hard for me to count on my fingers how many people are actually going to be in my group. The other one is at the zoo. The other guy, I don't know where he is.
Ray
Oh, my gosh. Make up a story to my buddies, colleagues. Got stuck at the law firm. Pretty busy case. I believe we'll win it. But yeah, I'm going to go ahead and just play solo. Is that cool? That sounds a lot better. My buddies at the zoo. Yeah, my buddies at the zoo and the other guys strung out on drugs. It's just me today, coach. Make a story.
Coach
I thought the story was better. That man. My, my, my, my buddy chose the zoo over this dude. Like, are you kidding me? Like, I thought they would rel.
Ray
It sounds like your friends go to Pee Wee Playhouse. Who's that guy? Friggin Mr. Bean.
Coach
No, no, not Mr. Bean.
Ray
We know. Peewee Herman.
Coach
Yeah, Peewee Herman. Anyway, so I went back in. I was like, hey, man, it's just going to be me, actually. And he goes, you ready to go right now?
Ray
Oh, yeah, I can go.
Coach
I was like, yeah, I guess I can go, right? And he goes, all right. You see those guys? Two guys on the tee box? You're going to join up with them? Hey, Carl. Carl, you out there? No, I'm out here in the bay. But what do you need? I need you to stop those guys on the tee box. Tell them you got another one joining them. Okay, I can drive right over there right now. I'll do that right now. And so, I mean, the cart bay is literally right next to my cart. So I mean, I almost beat him to the tee box.
Ray
Just yell next time. Thanks.
Coach
Yeah. And he goes, and the guy goes, all right, man, you're good to go. Just jump in with those guys. All right? So I run out, jump up, drive up to the set. I'm gonna join you. He goes, yeah, that's what this guy told us.
Ray
What is it? Beth Page, Tight security. Ray, Good foreshadowing. That's gonna be the Rider cup in a week.
Coach
Yeah, it's gonna be a rider coming a week and a half. I will be there. And then I'm like, I, man, introduce myself. Cool, cool. I didn't see them hit. They'd already teed off. And I step up and smack it down the middle. Like, wow, man, good shot. I'm like, thanks, man. Thanks. Let's. Let's get this round going. Bah. Bah. High fives.
Ray
Were they together? Yeah, they were together, but I mean together together.
Coach
No, no, not together. I. It took me like four holes to figure out if they were together together or just like together. And turns out the one guy he mentioned his girlfriend got him. Maybe the, the, the shooter. Yep. And so he was like, he was like, ah, my girlfriend got this for me. I really love it. And so that's when I knew they weren't together together.
Ray
Rangefinder.
Coach
Yeah, rangefinder. And so we proceeded to play the 18 holes and I mean, it was, it was slow going.
Ray
Like, what, was it windy that day?
Coach
No, it wasn't windy. There wasn't, I mean, barely any wind.
Ray
At all the next day then.
Coach
Yeah, it was beautiful. That first hole. I hit it right down the fairway and then a little wind at my back and I freaking pull out the eight iron, boom. And I hit it over the green too far and. And then I chipped up in one, putted for par. And they're like, whoa. And I'm like, guys, this is not gonna, this, trust me, this is not going to go on all day.
Ray
Okay, so they were worse than you?
Coach
Well, no, no, no.
Ray
I just want to gauge it.
Coach
That's what I'm. That one guy, the lefty could smack it.
Ray
See, what is with lefties? They've just got such a built in golf swing.
Coach
And he didn't hit like his, his drive, it wasn't high, it was a low line drive, but it went 250, 60 yards. I mean, he was smacking that drive and his irons were way up in the air. But what's he gonna say so then the only problem was we got to hold, like four. There's a traffic jam. There was a group in front of us, had a twosome, and then the group in front of them was four. And there was four walkers.
Ray
You're not getting past them.
Coach
Correct. Not even. Not only four walkers, but four walkers in their 60s, probably.
Ray
Yeah.
Coach
So they are. One guy got the umbrella up, you know what I mean, covering him, taking forever. And I mean, one of the guys in that I was playing with was getting so pissed.
Ray
And I'm telling you guys, it's the difference in this. We have jobs. We're kind of like lickety split. These guys have nowhere to be. And I respect that they're in no hurry, but that's what the golf course brings. Rich, poor, retired, unretired.
Coach
Yeah, homeless. Not homeless. Mansions and moats and people that live in on a boat. I mean, there's all sorts of people at the golf course. And the one dude in my group is getting so mad. I mean, we're on hole six.
Ray
What are their ages?
Coach
They're probably late 20s, okay. Would be my guess.
Ray
Those are bros.
Coach
They're bros because one of them was from the Wood Brentwood. But, you know, he's not living at home anymore. He's living. He's got a real job. He's in real estate, raising crypto. The other guy was in tech sales, and he hadn't had a dishwasher in three weeks.
Ray
What is he, an AI bot? What do you mean he's in tech sales?
Coach
That's what he told me, man. Tech sales. What do you do?
Ray
Program chat. GPT, you little Gemini.
Coach
I'm like, what do you do? Call people and say, hey, will you sign up for AI? I didn't really ask questions, but cool. And he hadn't had a dishwasher for three weeks. And the dishwasher guy said, oh, I can come between 8 and noon. So he was like, I thought, I'm going to take half the day off. You know, he'll be here at 8, get it done. I'll go to work. He goes, dude, didn't show up till noon. He goes, so it's right in the middle of the day. So I just said, screw it. I'm taking the whole day. We're going to play golf.
Ray
The worst when they have the window and they do the end of the.
Coach
Window into the windows. The worst. He's like. So he was. I was like, man, if we hurry, we can get the golf course. We can get 18 in and we're sitting there on the tee box on six, and the one guy's like, man, this is so stupid. So they shouldn't even offer walking at the golf course. It's so dumb. Like, what's the point of walking the golf course? Like, this is why golf courses are stupid, because they don't need to be offering walkers, because all it does is slow everybody down, and it's just an inconvenience for everybody. If they want to have walking, it should be one day a week, and walkers can go on that day. Every other day, you got to ride in a cart.
Ray
Hey, do you need a Snickers, man?
Coach
I'm like, you're. You're not the same when you're hungry.
Ray
Geez.
Coach
And I. And I'm like, well, I mean, some of them do it for exercise. Well, that's. That's not my. That.
Ray
That started debating the guy in my head.
Coach
In my head. In my head. In my head.
Ray
I was like, well, I don't golf with any other people.
Coach
I was like. I was like, man, in my head, I'm like, they're 60, so they kind of do it for exercise. But he's like, I just don't get it. I mean, we got places to be, and I don't want to be here for six hours.
Ray
I'm with him on that.
Coach
No, I was like, no, I agree. I was like, no, man, I totally feel you, man. I was like, you know, I'd come out on weekdays trying to get in and out two and a half, three hours. You can play around a golf. He's like, but maybe at the turn, they'll go in for, like, 20 minutes, and then we can. We'll just zip past them.
Ray
Sometimes that can happen.
Coach
I'm like, smart. Course didn't happen.
Ray
What do you mean? Because they didn't grab any pork missiles.
Coach
They didn't grab anything.
Ray
Yeah, they tell, hey, I heard they have good missiles.
Coach
They went straight to the. The 10th tee. We could see him. So we said, we got something to eat. I got a burger because I hadn't eaten lunch. I got a burger and some Sun Chips, and then we went to number 10. And what did we do?
Ray
Stop playing.
Coach
We stopped playing. We sat there and sat there and let the group in front of us finish the whole number 10, because there's no one behind us. Nobody behind us.
Ray
You should have jumped in front. Just skip a hole.
Coach
That's what I said, dude. We could literally Skip to number 12.
Ray
And then come back.
Coach
And then come back and play 10, 11, when we finish 18.
Ray
And.
Coach
No, we'll just sit here. We'll just sit here. And so we let the group in front of us play the par four, that number 10. And then they played the par three, number 11. And we didn't tee off on number 10 until they were teeing off on number 12, the group in front of us.
Ray
Smart.
Coach
Then it pretty much flowed the rest of the day.
Ray
Okay.
Coach
Rest of the day, it flowed. And let me tell you, Ray, when I got that par on number one, I was like, man, that was awesome. And then I think I got a bogey on number two. Then my. The number three is a par five. I hit it left out of the fairway, Then I hit it right, and there's some trees, and I'm like, man, I'm gonna have to do a punch shot or I'm gonna go over those trees. And I don't really know how to go over trees.
Ray
Yeah, that's not in our bag.
Coach
It's not really in our bag.
Ray
What are you talking about? Over the tree? Anytime you try to go over the tree, you're going to go right into it. Like, just go under it.
Coach
Right? But if I go under it, I don't think there's a real shot at me making it to the green and three. And, you know, so I was like, I'm going to. I'm going to try this. So I get the eight iron out.
Ray
Hit some guy's house, and I'm in.
Coach
The rough, and I kind of open the club face, and I just whack. And, oh, my God, it went over the tree. And, I mean, it's going right for the pin. Sheesh. Bounces, goes right by the pin and rolls off the back of the green. But, I mean, no, no, no. It was probably the greatest iron shot I've ever hit because it went over the tree, and I'm in my. In my bag going, damn, that was a golf shot. That was a golf shot.
Ray
That's what the pros do. But they can stick it on the green. That's the difference.
Coach
Yeah, exactly. That is the difference. They stick it right by the stick and. Right.
Ray
They got breaks.
Coach
And so after nine, I'm plus six.
Ray
That's good.
Coach
I am plus six.
Ray
Okay, so you're at 41.
Coach
I am on fire.
Ray
So you're a plus 12 handicap at this point.
Coach
At that time, I am looking at like, wow, wow, wow. We're setting this course on fire.
Ray
You're plus 12. I had to fill out this thing for. I got the golf finder yeah. The max it goes is plus 20. I'm plus like 25. It wouldn't even go as high as I am.
Coach
I'm usually like a plus 18 or 19. You are. That's my handy. Yeah.
Ray
Must be a plus 40.
Coach
And so we go to number 10 and I get up there and I hit the drive. Goes a little right in the rough. I'm hitting it out of the rough and I mean, I yank it so far left into the woods, chip it up onto the green. Three putt, triple bogey.
Ray
There goes the handicap there.
Coach
I mean, after being plus six on the front, I'm plus three on number 10. And I'm just like, oh my gosh, here we go.
Ray
And you got those old fellows looming up ahead. The only thing you can do there is crack one open. Just enjoy the day. But I know you don't crack one open because it's a Monday.
Coach
It's a Monday.
Ray
But sometimes you got to. Otherwise you're not going to enjoy yourself.
Coach
And I will say, these bros, they didn't crack one open. Really? On a Monday, day off. Two dudes in the mid-20s not cracking open a single one.
Ray
The thing, I always got a good laugh. But the muni on the west side, it didn't matter. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, obviously, Thursday, Friday. Those first three days of the week, bros would crack at noon.
Coach
Crack.
Ray
I would love it. Heck, they even got me cracking one time. Abby was doing the walk around Arnold's Girl and she saw me crack a beer. I go, I literally have two beers out here. And your mom and you walk around the track, right? When I'm drinking a beer, I look like an alcoholic.
Coach
Yeah, it makes you feel. It felt weird. And they weren't cracking a beer, but on hole number five, they started hitting their vapes. I didn't. They didn't look like vapors, dude.
Ray
See, so that they're California.
Coach
I had no idea they would be vapors. They did not look like vapors, but they were smoke everywhere, bro.
Ray
When we went to Low Key Flex, we went to Hawaii.
Coach
Whoa. Okay, Rich. Rich.
Ray
These vapors, this economy, these Terran was so into the vape. We went to five, ten stores in Lahaina. We went the entire Maui island. Try and find a vape. She couldn't get one. Dang, those people are. Dude, we were beating down doors for them to open up at 7am cuz she woke up and needed the vape. Those things are more addictive than cigarettes.
Coach
That's what I hear. And they're worse for you. Is What I hear, I was like, kids, put down the vapes.
Ray
I'm trying to nurse a hangover. All I need is some eggs and bakey. And Terence just drove the entire Maui island looking for this vape just to get some of this. Whatever it was. Magic power. Magic little fairy dust into her lungs. What was it was probably the weed one.
Coach
I don't know.
Ray
13.
Coach
Yeah. Theirs didn't smell like weed. I know what weed smells like, and it didn't smell like it. So then we go throughout the. After that, that triple bogey, I think I baby bogey the next one. Then par, then par, then par, then bogey.
Ray
Okay, I'm keeping the note card right here.
Coach
Then par. So going to 17. If I can par both these holes, I am going to shoot a personal best record of my life. Wow. So I step up on the par 5 17th, and I line up that drive. Whack. And I absolutely murder she. Murder the freaking drive. So then I'm sitting I don't know how far out.220 out on the par 5.
Ray
I mean, the hybrid.
Coach
Get the hybrid. Exactly. I just want to put it. You know, I could. What I really should have done.
Ray
You ain't driving the green. You just need to lay up.
Coach
No, no. Should have done a six iron. Put that about 155. And that way you're sitting 80 out, you know what I mean? No big deal. But instead, I get the four wood and I yank it to the left a little bit in the rough, But I'm only 60 yards out, so. All right, get that attack wedge right on the green, below the hole in three. In three green and regulation. Beautiful. Gir my line up that putt, it's probably about a 18 footer. Line it up and it's gonna go left to right. There's a big hook dink, and it starts curving to the right, starts curving to the right. And the guy's like, oh, oh, oh. Stays on the top side of the hole, goes past the hole, down a hill. It's okay, it's okay.
Ray
Oh, no. So he went off the green, not.
Coach
Off the green, but just like to the backside of the green. And I'm like, all right, that's all right. Let me step up with my putter.
Ray
Would you mind not saying anything this time, college bro?
Coach
After the drive of my life for par, misses, and I bogey. And I bogey.
Ray
So now you got a birdie to have the best score of your life.
Coach
Have to have a birdie for the best score of my life.
Ray
Assuming you don't. Let's go to break. And on to another story. Oh, you did.
Coach
And so I step up on 18. I'm like, this one is for Cody, who didn't show up. Whack. And I rip it right down on the fairway. But the only problem is there's this big tree that hangs over the fairway. So I'm on the right side of the fairway.
Ray
Do you want to be on the right?
Coach
And I'm like, okay, do I go over this tree?
Ray
No, through it. Get your four.
Coach
Or do I get my four iron and sting it up on the green?
Ray
Give it a stinger, man.
Coach
120 out.
Ray
What do you boys think? Bee sting or rainbow? Not you guys are gay or anything. You know what I mean? Golf term.
Coach
So I pull out the four iron, hit that stinger, rolls right past the hole, six feet below the cup.
Ray
There you go. There's your birdie. And we're going to take a break.
Coach
And then I drop a ball just because I'm going to see if I can get it over this tree.
Ray
Why would you do that?
Coach
And I hit it over the tree, but short of the green. The right call was the stinger. I just wanted to practice the shot.
Ray
But after you're playing perfect, don't try and mess.
Coach
All right? Don't try to mess with it. And the guys, they. They're on the green now. One guy misses his putt bad. Other guy misses his putt bad. So it's my turn to go. I step up. It's gonna be a little right to left bender. Right to left bender.
Ray
I have the sound effect ready.
Coach
I step up. Clink. It's starting to curve left. Curve left. And.
Ray
Woo.
Coach
And I said, f yeah, boys. F yeah. You guys just got to see me shoot the best round of my freaking life.
Ray
Yeah, we don't know you. Cool. See you never. Thanks for playing with us. Like, that's why I don't play with people. And they don't give a rip of you from Adam.
Coach
And they didn't really care. They're like, oh. They're like. They're like, oh, that's cool, man. That's cool. They're like, what'd you shoot?
Ray
Good luck with air conditioning sales or whatever you do. Heading back to the tech world. See you later, man.
Coach
I. I said. And they said, what'd you shoot? And I was like, 83. And then one guy was like, oh, I shot an 80 once. I'm like, dude, you don't have to one up me. I am in my moment right now.
Ray
83.
Coach
83. And when I say. No, no, no.
Ray
Hold on.
Coach
When I say 83, I mean a 100% legit 83.
Ray
Okay? I played with you before. I believe you.
Coach
Not a single ray. No foot wedges. No. No gimmes. I put it. Every putt.
Ray
Gimme from a foot out is fine.
Coach
No, every putt was putted.
Ray
Gimme five feet out is fine.
Coach
No, no, no, no, no, no. Five feet.
Ray
Five feet. You miss a putt, me and Justin play three club links. Out is a gimmick. Anybody that does that, guys, that's where you're go. Your points.
Coach
That's where you're going to make a great score.
Ray
You miss all those putts all the time. So I hate the pe. We joke about this. I hate the people that do a gimme when it's like five feet. Guys, those are the ones you miss.
Coach
And that's so hard.
Ray
Remember, that adds 18 to your score because you never make those putts.
Coach
And that day, I did. My putter was on fire. On fire. It was. It was amazing.
Ray
Okay. You celebrated by yourself. Congrats, man.
Coach
I did. And I told those dudes, I was like, yeah. And they're like, cool, man, Cool. My name's Sloan.
Ray
I'm all alone. Thanks, guys. See you later.
Coach
And we'll take a break.
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Ray
We're prohibited by law 21 plus.
Coach
Terms and conditions apply.
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Ray
All right, we got to start.
Coach
We got to start the show, man. I did not know the trip down the golf course was going to take 27 minutes. I apologize.
Ray
I was not going to allow you to until I realized it was building for a grand crescendo.
Coach
Oh, dude, the birdie on 18. I'd never birdied that hole in my life, Ever in my life.
Ray
And you were celebrating under the Tennessee sun all by yourself, dude.
Coach
Oh, you know what I did?
Ray
That was a hell of a game.
Coach
You know what I did on the way home?
Ray
Nobody saw it. Not your kid, your wife, me, Justin. Nobody, dude. You and your AI bot friends.
Coach
And you know what I did on the way home, though? I stopped and bought a gallon of blue Bell cookies and cream ice cream, because I'm gonna celebrate with the kids, and the wife and I get home, and the kids are in absolute piss moods, and we got no ice cream because we had to get into bed.
Ray
Here's to me. Whoa. You got done that late?
Coach
No, but we ate dinner, and then yet they had to do showers, and they were all grouchy and angry, and I was just like, oh, my God, I just want to have ice cream with you guys. And my wife's like, no, no, we're not doing that, because it's just gonna. No. And so we didn't celebrate my greatest round ever together.
Ray
All right, we're gonna do it live. We are the 1, 2, 3, soar.
Coach
Loser. What up, everybody? I am Lunchbox. I know the most about sports. So I'll give you the sports facts, my sports opinions, because I'm pretty much a sports genius, y'. All.
Ray
It's Sizzin. I'm from the north. I'm an alpha male. I live on the north side of Nashville with bays or my wife in the country. She was a Broadway girl. We had 2.2 acres, 2.2 kids at Vanderbilt. Justin is alive. He did check on him. And I'll die of a heart attack when I'm 72. Coach, over to you. And again, back over to me. I haven't played golf in months. It's too damn hot. And never know when we're gonna get off work. And on Saturday, Bazer wants to hang out. On Friday, she wants to hang out. On random Fridays, Justin will be like, hey, we should have made a tee time. And I'll say, well, I just looked. There's none available. So you really, really can never play golf. So I just play off my back patio all the time, and I love it. And find what you love about the game of golf and do that used to be gambling. I just play golf off my back patio, and I love it. Couldn't care less about the course. And I got this new Rap Soto machine. Haven't figured it out yet. Tell me that it's gonna measure all my shots. It'll show me what I'm doing, my ball speed. It shows me my attack angle, my smash factor, how fast the ball's going, the degrees that it's at, all of this stuff. I'm going to have more data on my shot than Tom Brady with his deflated footballs back when he used to have be to g data gate. Who's a data guy? Billy Bean.
Coach
Money Billy Bean.
Ray
I'm going to have more data about my swing than Billy Bean and Moneyball. And I'll hang up and listen. I knew I'd get there.
Coach
So what's the data saying?
Ray
I haven't got it figured out yet. I was all ready to set it down and do it. It has to charge for five hours. I mean, five hours. I was already in bed for three hours when it was done charging.
Coach
So. Okay, yeah. And I do know that the one guy, he. His driver was kind of going a little to the right. So on number 16, he pulled out the little practice thing that you have and was practicing his drive, like with that little rubber thing with the ball on the end.
Ray
The yellow dongle.
Coach
The yellow dongle. He was practicing his drive. I do know that. And the Lefty on number 16, he hit it left into the trees. Then he chunked one into the trees again. And he had a pretty good club throw. That was the only club throw on the day.
Ray
Baser's like, why don't you always play with your yellow dongle? I got you. And I go, because it looks like the dildo they threw in the NFL field. I mean, anytime you pull out that thing on the muni. People think you're a tool.
Coach
Yeah, and then I did see that. I don't know if this is true or not, but Lori booked her ticket to the convention. It's about time. Lori, we haven't seen you in about 16 years.
Ray
Hey, guys. I lost my voice.
Coach
Hey, it's Laurie. Okay, I can't talk, so that means I assume twins coming, and he'll be disappointed. He'll be wearing his Cowboys gear. They won't be playing because it'll be playoff time. And I think. I don't know if this is right, but Danny posted that she said she can't come. Like, that's not real. Her and Mario are going to be here, right?
Ray
They always do an Airbnb house.
Coach
Yeah, they all do an Airbnb house. Like, maybe that Airbnb house broke up. Maybe they're not coming this year. I don't know. But when I saw that, I'm like, that can't be real.
Ray
We have a deal with a hotel. Or can I give people a good place?
Coach
You can give them a good place. Oh, wait. Yeah, go ahead.
Ray
Listen, we tipped off and ones with this spot. I usually don't like to release it, but look up Sobro Placemaker. Just give it a Google on Gemini. It is awesome. You don't even feel like you're in a hotel. It's actually not a hotel. And it's bigger than a hotel room. And the location is perfect. Is our stuff going to be downtown? Downtown?
Coach
Oh, we're hoping everything's going to be down. I don't know.
Ray
And that wasn't a good recommendation.
Coach
Yeah, it's not going to be all downtown. Downtown.
Ray
All right, guys, just forget I told you any of that.
Coach
Hey, we got an email, though.
Ray
Yeah. And remember, I got to tell my story.
Coach
Oh, yeah, go in.
Ray
But it's a small story.
Coach
Go ahead. I want to hear it.
Ray
So I went to my first Nashville SC soccer game.
Coach
Excuse me.
Ray
On Tuesday night, the US Cup.
Coach
You. You went to the game?
Ray
So they hit me with an email, and they said, we're trying to get new fans to the game. All you got to do is respond to this, and we'll send you tickets. Responded just like that. They sent me two pickets tickets behind the net. So I'm going to be right there for every goal. We scored three goals, Saw every goal. Would have saw every goal if I had went to the game. So this is the part I feel bad about. So you click into these tickets that they sent me. Okay. And I thought, well, if I'm not going to go, I'm going to try and sell them. So I click into these tickets that they gave me for free to try and grow the game of soccer and they have it blocked. You can't sell them from Ticketmaster to other Ticketmaster people. Blocked. You can transfer but you can't sell them. I go, crap, I shouldn't even got these tickets in the first place. It could go to somebody else. Well, hold on a second. What if I go on Tick pick, say that I.
Coach
What is Tick Pick?
Ray
You get tickets there. So I never heard of it, man.
Coach
It sounds like dick pic.
Ray
So what if I go to Tick Pic and then I transfer the tickets and I don't even involve Ticketmaster. All I need to do is then outside transfer instead of inside. Try to sell Smart. So on Tick Pick you don't even need screenshots of tickets. You don't need anything. All you do is just type in the. They just trust you.
Coach
Got it?
Ray
If you screw somebody, they double charge your credit card. So they're assuming you're gonna be pretty trustworthy. So I throw them up there, just see if they sell. If they don't, nope, no penalty. They sold in like five minutes. $37 profit. It was like $45 profit. $37. They're like, we'll have it to you in two weeks. Some hub wallet or something. Perfect. Now how do I get them to these people? So then I go back to the website, Nashville SC website, and there's the option to transfer tickets. It won't let you sell them, but you can transfer them. So I get the guy's name from Tickpick and his email, take those tickets from Ticketmaster.
Coach
What's his name?
Ray
Reese.
Coach
Okay.
Ray
And transfer them to Reese. And Tick pick sends me an email and I go. I think that worked because I never really even had these virtual tickets. I never proved to Reese I had these tickets. I just shot him a random email from Ticketmaster that I don't even know if they were really allowing me to transfer him tickets. I hope he got them five minutes later, like 8:30am it all went down in no less than 20 minutes. Less than 20 minutes. Tick Pick has accepted your tickets and your $37 is processing. I sold the free tickets, they said. And Reese went to the game and he saw a massive Nashville SC win. Surridge with five goals, baby Reese. Thank you Nashville SC for spreading. The game of soccer was a happy.
Coach
As a clam last night. Him and his broski or him and his girl or him and his dad? Him and his mom? I don't know. Him and his kid. I don't know who he went with.
Ray
Sam. Surge could not be stopped. And you know what? Thank you, Nashville sc for growing the game of soccer, because Reese is a fan.
Coach
That's funny, man. Because I was like. I was walking around that stadium last night and I didn't see you anywhere you went. I went to the game. Are you freaking kidding me?
Ray
I would have saw you there.
Coach
If I would have run into you in the concourse, I'd have been like, what are you doing here?
Ray
Were you behind the net?
Coach
No.
Ray
Oh, see, mine was one away behind the net.
Coach
I was side net. And I.
Ray
When they scored. What if you just saw me and baser behind the net?
Coach
I'd have been like. I'd look at my wife. Is that Ray and Bay over there? There's no way that's Ray and Bay. Ray would. Ray would not go to a soccer game and on a Tuesday night, let alone. But here's the great part.
Ray
It was 7pm you're right about half about that. I would go to a soccer game. I would not go to a soccer game on a Tuesday night.
Coach
Yeah, 7:00pm dude, we were out of there at 9, 10. It was so awesome. It wasn't even late. And here's the hard part. There's plenty of good seats still available.
Ray
Really?
Coach
There. It was empty.
Ray
It was.
Coach
It was empty. Empty.
Ray
Well, those tickets sold like lickety split. I mean, I know sooner. Got an email from Tick Pic saying thanks for registering. And another one banged the other email out of my inbox and said, you have sold your tickets.
Coach
What?
Ray
I just listed them. I didn't even know they're on the web.
Coach
It was so empty that some of the houses weren't even selling their lawns for the game.
Ray
You park on them for free?
Coach
No, it was so empty, I just turned on one of the streets. Street parking for free. Right in front of someone's house that put up a no parking sign. Guess what I did in front of their no parking sign? I parked and I walked my ass to that stadium.
Ray
I would have worried the entire time.
Coach
Why? It's not a legal sign. They just printed a no parking sign and stuck it in their yard. Like, you can't do that. You don't own the street.
Ray
I want to say though, it's. It's this US Leagues cup is confusing as hell. Give me mls, Give me the playoffs. Nobody understands it. And that's why I didn't sell out.
Coach
I'LL be honest with you, I had no idea what it was.
Ray
It doesn't count towards stats. No, I know that count towards anything.
Coach
What is it?
Ray
I just want mls. I want playoffs. I want to know. NFL playoffs, NBA playoffs. Mls.
Coach
No, in season tournament. NBA.
Ray
It's confusing as hell.
Coach
No, you want to. You want to know when it's in season tournament. When they have the God ugly courts. When they have those ugly courts that are awful and you can't see and you're like, what is that crap?
Ray
Well, I think WNBA does it too.
Coach
They do in league tournament.
Ray
Yes.
Coach
Whatever. It's the stupidest thing ever. But anyway, I still watch it. It's fun.
Ray
Yeah, because the Caitlin Clark's team won it.
Coach
They did. Yeah.
Ray
And now they're in the playoff.
Coach
I mean, she doesn't even play.
Ray
She's never playing this year. Yeah, she's in street clothes. But guys, if your commissioner's listening, please know in season tournaments like the one at Nashville SC last night I said, they don't make. My name is Bennett. I ain't in it. My name is Paul. It's up to y'. All. It doesn't make no sense. My name's Common and inc. I don't make no sense.
Coach
Dude. It's really weird because I thought it was the league's cup where we played Messi a couple of years ago in the final and it was all amazing. And I kept googling, man, like, when does the leagues cup semifinals? When do they play? And it was like, leagues cup has not started yet. I'm like, no, it is because we. The national scene just advanced yesterday. Like whenever they. It was like, leagues cup has not started yet. Totally different tournament. We're not even in leagues cup because we sucked so bad last season and.
Ray
The playoffs don't start for another month.
Coach
Correct.
Ray
That's what I care about. And so we get playoff games here.
Coach
Yeah, we'll get at least one.
Ray
Okay, that's actually exciting.
Coach
And so we. We did go last night with Josh and Mary, who live around the corner. We left the kids at home with a babysitter and we saddled up and we drove to the stadium. And we were there and it was empty. We had the whole road to ourselves. It was amazing. Yeah. I host a podcast.
Ray
The guy Ray kind of looks like that guy behind the net.
Coach
Yeah. Wait, his wife. I thought Ray was going to be sitting in one away. Why does that. Is that Reese? His wife just flashed, so that's weird. And I mean, we watched and it was awesome. Sam Surridge Let me tell you, I want to apologize to that dude.
Ray
He's player of the year.
Coach
He is the player of the year. And I want to apologize to him because we got him. I feel like a year and a half ago, I don't know. And last year, I thought he was a bum. He never did anything. I thought he was an absolute bum.
Ray
He scores all the time.
Coach
And I kept saying, get rid of him. What a waste of a signing. He is so bad at soccer. And he told me to shut the F up this year because we got a new coach. And all of a sudden, the new coach knows how to use them and we. He scores all the time. He had a hat trick last night. And NSC is in the championship of the US Open Cup.
Ray
Yes.
Coach
And the championship game's not here.
Ray
You know what? Grow the game. Send me a couple more tickets. National sc.
Coach
No, you can't, because the game's not here. The game is either going to be in Minnesota or it's going to be in Austin. They play tonight, and the winner of that game gets to host the championship on October 1st. Oh, what day is October 1st? You know, maybe a weekend. No, a Wednesday night. Okay, well, I can't go to that game.
Ray
Yeah, if you were going to. Yeah, I get you. Yeah, but you guys won, so it seems like, well, we should have a home game for the championship.
Coach
Well, yeah, but one of those two teams is going to win, so they should. They did a coin flip at the beginning of the tournament, and the coin flip determined the winner of the Western Division side. They get to host the championship. But it was great, man. The stadium was empty. There was no lines at the concessions. There was no line at the bathroom. It was fantastic. No traffic getting out, free parking. I mean, it was amazing. What a great night.
Ray
To the airport.
Coach
The weather was beautiful. And my wife made a huge mistake, though.
Ray
It. Did it sprinkle?
Coach
No, it downpoured before. Yeah, but then it did not. It cleared up, and it was a beautiful night for soccer.
Ray
That's only the second time it is rain. And it was a sprinkle. It has rained in the last month in Nashville.
Coach
No, it was a monsoon at our house for, like, 30 minutes.
Ray
It's sprinkled, not monsoon.
Coach
Oh, dude. Soccer practice canceled.
Ray
Okay?
Coach
We got out there. We're getting dressed. Boom. Thunder. All right, wrap it up, boys. Get in the car. Let's go.
Ray
And, guys, I'm not gonna try and sound too weathery, but I looked at the radar because the clouds looked cumulonimbus and it was not.
Coach
Are you sure they weren't stratus.
Ray
It was not supposed to rain. And they did whatever they did in the atmosphere and it then rained. Maybe it was always supposed to rain in Nashville. I'm not speaking that. But in the Indian Lake area, it was not supposed to rain and it rained. I will tell you right now. And there was not supposed to be radar at five. And it rained.
Coach
It was nowhere on the radar, dude. I didn't see anything about rain. But boom. Boys. Let's go. Let's go. In the car. In the car.
Ray
Blew my plant over my. I have, like, turf. I have. I do the same turf the Titans do on the stadium. I put it on the patio. It blew that thing all the way onto the grass. Basically. Like, what are you doing out there? Remodeling. I go remodeling. A windstorm just came through. A drencho just ripped my palm tree off to the side of the house. No, I'm not remodeling. I'm putting crap back.
Coach
Let's take a break. We'll be right back.
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Coach
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Coach
Now let's check the email. Man, I got a good email. Says, hey, coachers, hope you're doing well. A little Vegas tip for you. When you have a voucher for less than a dollar, put the voucher into the Dragon of Phoenix link machine. The machine will give you a chance for a free spin. Most of the time you will not get a free spin. But sometimes you do. Last week in Vegas, I tried for a free spin on a 76 cent voucher. I got a free $25 spin and it hit for a bonus of $850. So never donate the change from your vouchers and always try to get the free spin. Good luck. P.S. you should finally face up. You should try finally. Oh. P.S. you should finally try face up. Powgal. Degenerate. Jesse Y. I don't know what pow gow is, but I walked by it. I think it's the one with tiles. Or is that backgammon?
Ray
Well, I've heard it's the one you can make money on in Vegas, but I believe it's not easy to play.
Coach
I don't know anything about what's the easiest game.
Ray
The casino roulette. Yeah, I mean, Bazer knows how to play it. I know how to play it. You know how to play it, Pal Gow do you know how to play it?
Coach
I don't even know what it is.
Ray
That's what I'm saying. So I believe it's the most difficult one. We tend to be like gen pop and stick to the easiest Blackjack. Get to 21. Who can get the closest? Pal go. I believe there's twists and turns. If I need to watch an hour YouTube about it, I will because I'm so tired of talking about it and not knowing what the damn hell it is.
Coach
I'll find out this weekend. I'll play pow.
Ray
The time not to find out about a game is when you're in casino with your own money.
Coach
No, I'm gonna text Jenny right now and I'm going to tell her, hey, can you learn Pow Gal so you can teach us this weekend? Her and her husband Andy are going.
Ray
Your friends?
Coach
Yeah.
Ray
I got a lock for you.
Coach
Okay.
Ray
You can either take it or leave it.
Coach
So.
Ray
But if you decide to take it, you've actually got to bet it. Okay, so there was an NFL. There was a college quarterback that was drunk and on Broadway at Jelly Rolls last night with Johnny Manziel. They were partying till I saw the video at 2, 3am and they had multiple bottles of 1957 tequila.
Coach
I wonder who Tennessee Tech's playing this weekend.
Ray
So it wasn't them. It was a more known school in. In Nashville.
Coach
Oh, okay. Got it.
Ray
It was Vanderbilt.
Coach
Oh.
Ray
Who would be an important player on Vanderbilt's team?
Coach
I'm going to say the only player on Vanderbilt's team is Diego Pavia.
Ray
So he was partying with Johnny Manziel. I have picture confirmation till about 3am on a Tuesday night. That same team is four touchdown favorites on Saturday. Don't know who they play. Georgia State, maybe.
Coach
Okay, let me see.
Ray
I am telling you right now, option B, take the team they play plus four touchdowns and all.
Coach
Lock it up. That's probably the worst bet you've ever made because they're 21 year old college students. You know what college students do? They drink hard on a Monday, they drink hard on a Tuesday. And they still wake up to go to class. They still wake up to go to practice, apparently.
Ray
You need a picture.
Coach
I do. Did you ever post your picture of Johnny Manziel? No. Can you post that today? No. What?
Ray
Holding it hostage.
Coach
What do you mean you're holding it hostage?
Ray
The big show didn't want it, so I'm holding it hostage. Nobody gets to see it. It's on my bedside table.
Coach
The listeners want to see it. I haven't seen it.
Ray
Here's Johnny Manziel at Jelly Rolls. Okay, this is, this is 2am and.
Coach
Next pick is Baker Mayfield.
Ray
Oh, the guy on the far right.
Coach
Uh. Oh, let's see. Oh, that's Diego Pavia.
Ray
And that is two bottles of 1952, baby.
Coach
So what you're saying is you don't think he's taking his prep work very seriously this week?
Ray
I always thought Monday or actually with NFL, they play. They practice on Monday or they go through tape and Tuesday is the off day. So does that mean since college they practice and go through stuff on Sunday and Monday's the off day, but Tuesday means they would have practiced. Then they have practice again today. How do you go out partying and then practice the next day?
Coach
Ray, how did you ever do that? Did you know? Because they're different. I mean, they could go to the locker room and just get an iv. No, Problem?
Ray
Hey, I had tequila last night. Got any extra nad?
Coach
I'm pretty sure the coaches know. I'm pretty sure the training staff knows. Hey, Diego was out on Broadway last night. All right, we'll have two bags of IVs waiting for him when he gets home. Or maybe when he. Not even that. When he gets to the facility. Maybe they do it at his apartment when he gets home that night.
Ray
Well, and two other people. Yeah, in the picture. Tate Hamby.
Coach
Who?
Ray
Tate Hamby.
Coach
Let me google.
Ray
Whit Muschamp. Oh, and Michael Mancini. Sounds like Tate.
Coach
What? Tate what?
Ray
Sounds like the mother.
Coach
Hey, Must Champ plays for the Vanity football team.
Ray
So he's a lineman.
Coach
Tate who?
Ray
And Tate Hamby.
Coach
Hamby.
Ray
I want to know how many of.
Coach
The Vandy players are wide receiver and safety for Quincy. He is a sophomore. He's 6 foot 2. He plays. What does he play for? Vandy. And as a freshman in 2024, he did not see any action.
Ray
Then what about.
Coach
And he was ranked top 25 recruits in Louisiana. And back in the day, his. He. His father, Rooster, played football at Louisiana Tech. He enjoys hunting and catching alligators in his free time. He has three siblings, Ali, Ray, Carly and Tyler. But I don't even know what he plays.
Ray
Oh, great. And Michael Mancini, the other guy's a Vandy baseball player. So there is at least two of those players are on the Vandy football team.
Coach
Yeah, so far in 2025 against Charleston Southern, when it was 45 to 3, he had zero tackles, zero sacks, zero. Zero force fumbles, zero ints. At Virginia Tech he had zeros and at South Carolina he had zeros.
Ray
Oh, and Whit Must Champ, he's the backup quarterback.
Coach
Ah, that's it.
Ray
So then. Okay, so yeah, it's just Tate. It's Tate. Tate Hamby. And.
Coach
But Tate Hammy hadn't played.
Ray
No, he plays.
Coach
No, no, he doesn't.
Ray
No, he's vital. He'll run a lot of routes.
Coach
I'm looking at Tate Hamby. Stat stats. He has nothing. Oh, wait, he has three punt returns.
Ray
That's what I'm saying. Dude, the punt game is going to be affected.
Coach
Yeah. Oh, maybe he.
Ray
You're telling me this guy doesn't affect the game?
Coach
No, I'm not saying he's not good. I just don't see any stats for him right now.
Ray
Half the Vandy team was out at jelly rolls.
Coach
That's what we. So if you're coming to town, you want to party with Diego Pavia and the Vandy team, go to Jelly rolls. That's the moral of the story.
Ray
No, the moral of the story is you need to bet four touchdowns. The other team on Saturday?
Coach
I doubt it. We'll take a break. We'll be right back.
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Ray
Give you research for Vegas and you leave.
Coach
No, that's actually good. It's really good research. That means Diego Pavia is probably going to listen and want to prove you wrong. And I think Diego Pavia can go hard and play hard. Hey, coachers. Raymundo, if you call your father in law, Phil, does that mean you call your mother in law Mill Dakota the mailman in Ohio.
Ray
Now mills too close to Milf milf. That'd be awkward.
Coach
Yeah, that's really weird. Hey, guys, how the heck do we split the coaches convention tickets into payments? I feel like a monkey with a wrench trying to figure it out. I'm glad the tickets are on sale because we didn't want to book anything else and then have this fall through. And also, this is what exactly goes down at these conventions. Can you explain? We're clueless over here. It is like a nighttime event or how does it go down? Love the pod, guys. Veronica. Veronica. I'm glad you asked. There is nighttime events, there's daytime events. There's all sorts of things. First night, there's a welcome happy hour. We get together, have drinks. It's usually about 6 to 8pm and sometimes we do a party bus. Sometimes we do other things after that. People go their own separate ways.
Ray
Right. And our. Some of the events are sanctioned.
Coach
Yes.
Ray
There's going to be other stuff that just happens off campus.
Coach
And then Saturday, we do a live pod and a watch party for the NFL game during the day. There are other events that are extra that you can pay for after that, or you can go your separate ways, meet up with other losers, do whatever you want to do. And then Sunday is the same thing. We do a award ceremony and a watch party for the NFL game. And that is the end of the convention.
Ray
And the Saturday TV was about 300 by 300. We're in like a movie theater. It was in Chiefs, but I mean, it was a massive tv. Like we were seeing the plays before New York was when the challenge flag was getting thrown.
Coach
Yeah.
Ray
And if you've seen the SEC or one of the conferences, they let you into the room with the people in New York and they go, yeah, I think this is going to be not a catch. I see it hitting the ground. I think you're going to want to reverse this one. Yeah, just go ahead and reverse it. And then you see the ref go, okay, that sounds like. That sounds like that'll be the call that we go. All right, we're going to reverse the call. It was an incomplete pass. We hear what the call on the field was before the fans and the players.
Coach
Very interesting.
Ray
Yeah, it was acc.
Coach
I believe that's pretty cool.
Ray
So something to look for.
Coach
Yeah. And J.J. mcCarthy and his. I black out three weeks. They said, man, this dude sucks. We got to sit him down. I'm asking my wife, how do you do payments for the convention tickets? Because I'm trying to answer her for the tickets, guys.
Ray
He can't text and talk.
Coach
No, I can't. I'm not very good at that. All right. Anything else you want to talk about? We got to go home. No, ma'. Am.
Ray
Don't title this one about the tickets. Let's try and keep that on the DL.
Coach
No, I would never. Anything else? Cultures. Hope you're doing well. You both had to watch Love Con Revenge on Netflix. No spoilers, but very similar to the Tinder swindler and. And multiple stories of those same situations. And please talk about it on the pod after you watch Andrew from North Dakota.
Ray
No, man, we don't do Wednesday reviews day. But you want to know something? A show that was recommended to me.
Coach
What?
Ray
By Arnold's wife, Abby.
Coach
What?
Ray
It's called Hunter's Wives. This is what she legit told me. Abby. Guys, Arnold's wife goes, hey, you guys should watch Hunter's Wives. And I go, well, what's it about? Why? And she goes, it's basically like a soft porn. It's just a bunch of chicks hooking up with each other all the time. And I'm like, is it good? And she goes, yeah, it's great. I was watching on the plane. It's a really good show. So, Abby, Arnold's wife was recommending soft porn, huh? Thanks.
Coach
We know what Arnold's into. I don't get it.
Ray
Yeah, I mean, she's obviously not into.
Coach
Arnold or Arnold's not doing a good job.
Ray
And I go, so did you like the plot line? Oh, yeah, it was really good. Okay, thanks. So maybe watch that and put it on Tuesday reviews day for the big show.
Coach
I'm probably not going to watch it, man.
Ray
Hey, Bobby, I've been watching this soft core.
Coach
No, sorry. I've been. I've been too invested in the worst season of Big Brother in the history of Big Brother is. It's God awful.
Ray
That's why we got to get on it.
Coach
It is God awful.
Ray
These people don't know how to make a show, man. Put us on it.
Coach
Oh, my God.
Ray
The Lauren. The Lauren girl. I think she forgets that there's cameras and she's on a national television show.
Coach
How are you?
Ray
I think I'm going to nominate him. Should I?
Coach
Should I or not?
Ray
I don't. I don't know. I don't.
Coach
I don't.
Ray
I haven't really thought about it. You haven't thought about it? You have no television or telephones in here. I would hope to God you've thought about it.
Coach
I mean, what. What else have you thought about? What have you been doing? What have you been doing? I mean, I thought you were a super fan. I thought you were a super fan of the show and you're. Hey, how's it going? Do you think. Do you think he'll be mad at me if I put him up and everybody? I mean, I've never seen more tears in my freaking life. Like, we cry over everything. If you get put on the block, you cry. Like, why does everybody cry? Was there this much crying in older seasons, Ray?
Ray
No. And also, a lot of these people are going as loners. I don't think they've ever made friends before because these people actually made friends with the people in the house. Those people are keeping you from the $750,000. You realize that? I wouldn't be friends with anyone the last day, dude. I'd be like, how's it going? What's your name? I ain't learning their names, dude. I'm there to win the money, not make lifelong. Hey, I don't. I don't even. It's not even about the game anymore. It's about lifelong friends. No, it's about the $750,000. They live in Louisiana. You're never gonna see them again.
Coach
No. They all become best friends. I can't wait to see you outside the house. I can't. I mean, I understand you become friends you like, but good God, they're crying every time they get put on the blog and.
Ray
Oh, my God, what's your number? I'd love to connect outside the house. 1-800-get- lost. See you never.
Coach
Hey, I'm so sorry. I gotta vote you out. No, you've got to vote them out so you can win the money. You had to vote everybody out or else you'll never win the money. That's how it works.
Ray
And the game's about being cutthroat in every person's speech. I'm not gonna campaign against.
Coach
Oh, my God. Ray. Ray, you nailed it.
Ray
Guys, guys, guys. Vote me out. I would never campaign against friend right here. I'm not going to say anything bad about him. No, no, no, no, no. This is your chance to debate and say bad stuff about him and air out the dirty laundry so that they vote for you and not them. You to stay, them to go. Guys, these people get in this house as loners and forget they're on a TV show to win $750,000. It blows my mind. I would be there to work out, not talk to another girl so baser doesn't kill me and come out of there with a purse. Okay.
Coach
A friendship.
Ray
What. What was your name?
Coach
Will.
Ray
Sorry, didn't even catch it for three months. Have a good one, man. Later.
Coach
Yep.
Ray
Enjoy that.
Coach
Oh, oh, wait. Yeah. So you have 30 seconds. You know, you guys have a few minutes to, you know, kind of strategize. Whenever they come back from the blockbuster and everybody just hugs everybody. No. Nobody pulls anybody aside and is like, yo, bro, really, you got to vote for me. Because this. This person's doing this. And then when you're. You're speaking for your life in this game, for your chance, like, it's going to be like, put out of winning $750,000. And all you say is, if I'm good for your game, I hope you keep me. What? Tell them how you're good for their game. Tell them everything that that person on that couch has said. Blow their game up. I don't care if your friends. This is Cutthroat win. Say, Samantha said that she's going to vote you out. Samantha said she doesn't have a real number. You're not her really. Her number one. She just tells you that so you'll keep her in this house. You have to throw darts instead of freaking. If I'm good for your game, keep me. If not, I understand.
Ray
And Will. Guys, it's been being a 50 year old man and podcaster, being a 50 year old man here, it's been so hard. I haven't had a lot in common and I haven't been able to really have conversations with people. Will, bro, you weren't put in this house to socialize. You were put in this house to win $750,000. They go, would you ever do it again? Never. What, because you didn't have anybody to talk to? Dude, I would have worked out in the backyard. I'd have been so tan that wouldn't have known a person's name, anybody's backstory. What's up? You're from Michigan. I know. I said Maryland. Oh, never listen to you. How's it going?
Coach
All right.
Ray
Thanks for the money, cbs. Write me a check. I'll see you guys later. Connect with me sometime. Get with my agent later.
Coach
I will say I do. Like, Will's like, Will, when he talks to people, he's like, guys, I'm not even listening to him. I just do a lot of. Yeah, that was funny.
Ray
That was funny.
Coach
Yeah. Cool. All right. Yeah. He goes, I'm not paying attention to anything they're saying because I have no idea what they just told me. If they asked me. What did I just say? I just. I would have no idea. But I just. If you just say, mm, yeah, awesome. Cool. Yeah. Oh, he goes, you could. They can talk forever, and I don't have to say anything because I'd rather be sleeping. Ah.
Ray
And guys, remember, when you're in the diary room, nobody can hear you. You can be another character when you're in the diary room, you can be the person you auditioned as. When you're outside in the house, play fake joke. But when you're in the diary room, I want to see some personality. Not like, that game was really fun. It was maybe my favorite game I've ever played. I thought I was going to win. No, I want you making fun of other people. Like, did you guys see the old guy trying to climb the hill? That was hilarious. How's it going? How'd I look on tv? All right, later. See cbs. Also, can you put me some ice cream in the freezer? Thanks. Peace. People forget they're on tv.
Coach
It's amazing, dude. It's amazing how bad it's been.
Ray
I don't want the money. If it's good for your game, keep me. What?
Coach
What? Say something bad about these people. Like, rip them a new one.
Ray
Hey, are you tired of that person using the bathroom?
Coach
Are you tired of them spreading lies? Like, I mean, they told me that you were trying to vote me out, that you were trying to do this. I mean, like, oh, my gosh.
Ray
Or like, you go in the diary room, be like, guys, I'm going to make up a lie that the one of the guys came on to me. Actually, that's a bad lie.
Coach
That's about. That's. That's inappropriate. That's actually. Yeah, yeah. But Veronica, on Friday spot, I'll have the answer to you. I don't know how you do payments either. Supposedly it's supposed to be right there, but I don't see it. So I don't know. I will figure it out.
Ray
Guys, when you go in the diary room, tell CBS in America, be like, hey, I'm going to make up a huge lie that one of these guys tried to grab my ass.
Coach
No, no, because that ruins their reputation nationally. That. That's not good on TV to do that.
Ray
Hey, I didn't think it out fully.
Coach
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ray
All right, all right, all right.
Coach
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Ray
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This is an I Heart Podcast.
Date: September 20, 2025
Main Hosts: Coach (Lunchbox), Ray (“Sizzin”)
This episode of The Bobby Bones Show features an extended, energetic, and hilarious tale from Coach about setting a personal record in golf, unexpected misadventures with friends, and what it’s like celebrating a win with total strangers. It transitions into segments about ticket scams, soccer games, TV talk, a debate on “in-season” sports tournaments, and closes with listener emails and trademark Sore Losers banter. Fast, friendly jabs and self-deprecating humor define the tone, making the show feel like listeners are hanging out with old friends.
Coach excitedly recounts his attempt to organize a long-awaited golf outing with old friends Cody and Andrew—a plan months in the making.
Comically detailed timeline of texts and miscommunications that led to Coach showing up at the course alone ([01:56–09:48])
Cody bails last minute (to go to the zoo with his family), leaving Coach in the lurch.
Coach has an internal debate whether to slink home or play his expected round, decides to stay and is paired with two friendly strangers ([10:12])
The hosts banter rapidly with sarcasm, self-deprecation, and a rhythm of one-upmanship, peppered by inside jokes and friendly jabs. Coach is earnest in his storytelling, while Ray provides irreverent commentary and skepticism (“That’s why I don’t play with people. They don’t give a rip about you from Adam.” — Ray [27:43]).
Everyday mishaps—missed texts, slow walkers on the golf course, ticket reselling adventures—are dramatized with the stakes and comedic timing of reality TV. The sports talk is accessible and emblematic of regular guys who love, but are not experts at, the games they play and watch.
Memorable Moment:
Coach, after sinking the clutch birdie for his best round ever, shouts in triumph to his two playing partners—complete strangers—who can barely muster a "cool, man." He leaves the course beaming, only to have his home celebration dashed by cranky kids and a no-ice-cream rule. The bittersweetness is peak Sore Losers: big dreams, comically small payoff.