The Sore Losers Set A Record!

Summary

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The Bobby Bones Show – "The Sore Losers Set A Record!"

Date: September 20, 2025
Main Hosts: Coach (Lunchbox), Ray (“Sizzin”)

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Overview

This episode of The Bobby Bones Show features an extended, energetic, and hilarious tale from Coach about setting a personal record in golf, unexpected misadventures with friends, and what it’s like celebrating a win with total strangers. It transitions into segments about ticket scams, soccer games, TV talk, a debate on “in-season” sports tournaments, and closes with listener emails and trademark Sore Losers banter. Fast, friendly jabs and self-deprecating humor define the tone, making the show feel like listeners are hanging out with old friends.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Record-Breaking Golf Game

• Coach excitedly recounts his attempt to organize a long-awaited golf outing with old friends Cody and Andrew—a plan months in the making.

• Comically detailed timeline of texts and miscommunications that led to Coach showing up at the course alone ([01:56–09:48])

  • "I have the text message receipts... at one o'clock on Monday, Housewives edition." – Coach [08:04]

• Cody bails last minute (to go to the zoo with his family), leaving Coach in the lurch.

  • "Sorry man, so I’m at the zoo with the family." – Coach imitating Cody [08:47]

• Coach has an internal debate whether to slink home or play his expected round, decides to stay and is paired with two friendly strangers ([10:12])

  • "I said, is Andrew coming... The other one is at the zoo. The other guy, I don’t know where he is." – Coach [11:07]

Playing With Strangers

• Joins two young “bros” in tech sales and real estate (“mid-20s, not cracking open a single beer, but vaped mid-round”) for 18 holes ([12:44–22:26])
• Describes slow play due to a group of elderly walkers and one of his playing partners’ growing frustration:
  • "This is why golf courses are stupid, they don’t need to be offering walkers, all it does is slow everybody down." – Unknown Bro/Coach quoting [16:32]
  • Ray: "Hey, do you need a Snickers, man?" [17:13]

The Highs and Lows

• Multiple anecdotes about great and not-so-great shots, including the “shot of my life” clearing the trees with an 8-iron ([19:28–20:18])
  • "Probably the greatest iron shot I’ve ever hit because it went over the tree, and I’m in my bag going, damn, that was a golf shot." – Coach [20:18]
• After 9 holes, Coach is +6, headed for the round of his life ([20:27–21:33])
• Tension grows as he hits a triple bogey on 10, but then steadies himself with several pars and bogeys ([21:20–24:21])

The Climactic Finish

• Reaches 18 needing a birdie for a personal best, faces a tricky shot under a tree, executes a dramatic 4-iron “stinger,” then sinks the birdie putt ([25:30–27:32])
  • "And I said, f yeah, boys. F yeah. You guys just got to see me shoot the best round of my freaking life." – Coach [27:33]
• Final score: 83 – a new personal record, with every putt holed, no gimmies ([28:02–28:31])
  • "When I say 83, I mean a 100% legit 83." – Coach [28:14]
• Coach celebrates with a solo ice cream party—kids are in bad moods and the celebration fizzles ([32:06])

2. Ray’s Ticket Hustle and Nashville SC Soccer Game

• Ray gets free tickets to a Nashville SC soccer game, tries to sell them on TickPick since he can’t go and can’t resell via Ticketmaster ([36:37–38:49])
  • "I sold the free tickets, they said. And Reese went to the game and he saw a massive Nashville SC win." – Ray [39:43]
• Coach actually attended the match, describes the empty stadium, great weather, and ease of parking ([40:01–45:43])
  • "It was so empty, I just turned on one of the streets. Street parking for free. Right in front of someone’s house that put up a no parking sign. Guess what I did in front of their no parking sign? I parked and I walked my ass to that stadium." – Coach [41:28]
• NSC won and advanced to the US Open Cup final; musings about in-season tournaments, their confusing nature, and MLS playoff implications ([42:08–45:18])
• Coach eats crow on player Sam Surridge, who scored a hat trick after Coach thought he was a “bum” last year ([44:07])

3. Bizarre Weather and Life’s Small Obstacles

• Unexpected Nashville monsoon, canceled kids' soccer practice, and turf mishaps ([45:44–47:12])
  • "A drencho just ripped my palm tree off to the side of the house. No, I’m not remodeling. I’m putting crap back." – Ray [47:12]

4. Listener Emails, Vegas Tips, and Gambling

• Email about slot machine hacks: always put small vouchers into Dragon of Phoenix Link machines for free spin chances ([49:20])
  • “I got a free $25 spin and it hit for a bonus of $850… always try to get the free spin.” – Degenerate Jesse Y. [49:20]
• Pal Gow (Pai Gow) discussed as a Vegas table game they don’t understand; vow to learn before betting real money ([50:18–51:07])
• Ray’s “lock” bet based on sighting Vandy football players drinking with Johnny Manziel—predicts their subpar performance due to partying ([51:14–52:34])
  • Coach: "That's probably the worst bet you've ever made because they're 21-year-old college students." [52:19]
• Digression into identifying players in the viral photo, laugh about anonymous fame, and college football in general ([53:16–56:28])

5. Sore Losers Convention, Listener Q&A, and Convention Culture

• Questions about splitting ticket payments, convention events, and what actually happens at Sore Losers conventions ([59:13–61:19])
  • "First night, there's a welcome happy hour… live pod and a watch party for the NFL game." – Coach [60:11]

6. TV Talk and Soft-Core “Hunter’s Wives” Recommendation

• Tangential reviews of reality TV—Coach bemoaning the “worst season ever” of Big Brother and the missed opportunities of contestants ([63:06–68:36])
  • “They go, would you ever do it again? Never. What, because you didn’t have anyone to talk to? Dude, I would have worked out in the backyard…” – Ray [66:48]
• Lighthearted commentary on a listener-recommended show called “Hunter’s Wives,” described as soft porn
• Repeated mockery of Big Brother’s soft gameplay and tears
  • “No, you’ve got to vote them out so you can win the money.” – Coach [65:08]
  • “What? Say something bad about these people. Like, rip them a new one.” – Ray [68:42]

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On missing the golf tee time:
  "Sorry, man. So I'm at the zoo with the family." — Coach channeling Cody [08:47]
• Solo golf, new friends:
  "The other one is at the zoo. The other guy, I don't know where he is." — Coach [11:07]
• Big shot over the trees:
  "Damn, that was a golf shot." — Coach [20:18]
• Finishing strong:
  "And I said, f yeah, boys. F yeah. You guys just got to see me shoot the best round of my freaking life." — Coach [27:33]
• No one cares:
  "Yeah, we don't know you. Cool. See you never." — Ray [27:43]
• Post-game anti-celebration:
  "I stopped and bought a gallon of Blue Bell cookies and cream ice cream, because I'm gonna celebrate with the kids... and we got no ice cream because we had to get into bed." — Coach [32:06]
• On ticket flipping:
  "I sold the free tickets... Reese went to the game and he saw a massive Nashville SC win." – Ray [39:43]
• On empty stadiums:
  "It was so empty, I just turned on one of the streets... parked and I walked my ass to that stadium." – Coach [41:28]
• Slot voucher hack:
  “Last week in Vegas, I tried for a free spin on a 76 cent voucher. I got a free $25 spin and it hit for a bonus of $850.” — Listener email, Jesse [49:20]
• On Big Brother’s gameplay:
  "No, you’ve got to vote them out so you can win the money. You had to vote everybody out or else you’ll never win the money." – Coach [65:08] "Say something bad about these people. Like, rip them a new one." – Ray [68:42]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Golf story/misadventure starts: [01:56]
• Coach realizes he’s been stood up: [08:47]
• Coach joins strangers; game description: [12:44]
• Key shot over trees: [19:28]
• Score update (+6 at 9 holes): [20:27]
• Personal best and birdie finish: [25:30–27:32]
• Coach celebrates alone: [32:06]
• Ray’s ticket transfer scheme: [36:37]
• Soccer match/Nashville SC experience: [40:01–45:43]
• Vegas slot hack email: [49:20]
• Pai Gow confusion: [50:18]
• Vandy party anecdote and “lock” bet: [51:14–56:28]
• Listener questions + Convention talk: [59:13–61:19]
• Big Brother and TV segment: [63:06–68:36]

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Tone and Style

The hosts banter rapidly with sarcasm, self-deprecation, and a rhythm of one-upmanship, peppered by inside jokes and friendly jabs. Coach is earnest in his storytelling, while Ray provides irreverent commentary and skepticism (“That’s why I don’t play with people. They don’t give a rip about you from Adam.” — Ray [27:43]).

Everyday mishaps—missed texts, slow walkers on the golf course, ticket reselling adventures—are dramatized with the stakes and comedic timing of reality TV. The sports talk is accessible and emblematic of regular guys who love, but are not experts at, the games they play and watch.

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Memorable Moment:
Coach, after sinking the clutch birdie for his best round ever, shouts in triumph to his two playing partners—complete strangers—who can barely muster a "cool, man." He leaves the course beaming, only to have his home celebration dashed by cranky kids and a no-ice-cream rule. The bittersweetness is peak Sore Losers: big dreams, comically small payoff.

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Useful for Listeners Who Missed the Episode

• The episode is less about hard sports news and more about life’s little victories and the comedy of scheduling, missed connections, and personal milestones.
• Useful golf takeaways for amateur golfers: playing solo, etiquette, the frustration of slow groups, and the joy (and hollowness) of personal bests.
• Feel-good, relatable take on sports fandom—including how much you care about your own “wins” vs. how much others really don’t.
• Offers practical entertainment: casino hacks, an easy Vegas tip, and convention info for fans.
• TV fans will enjoy the sharp critique of reality TV strategy vs. real-life logic.

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Transcript

[Ray]

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[Coach]

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[Julian Edelman]

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[Coach]

You're on. Yeah, okay. Man, what a day. It's a great day. And I got, man, I got to tell you, nothing is better than making plans with someone like a week in advance because we got off on Monday. What did you say? You said, man, it's a beautiful day. You should go.

[Ray]

Do what when I told you to hook up with your wife?

[Coach]

No, that's when you said, man, you should. You may even get up, be able to get on the golf course.

[Ray]

I knew what I said. Ray, is that when you suggested inviting.

[Coach]

Another couple over my. I hate to tell you, the listeners didn't know what you said. So I was just like. So I was like, ray, duh, you know, I'm going to play golf on this beautiful Monday because. Oh, because random kid Cody, our old intern, he married another Internet. We had been texting for a week about going to play golf. Because we've been trying for a year, year and a half to play golf. He works overnight, so the only time he can go, he likes to go right when he gets off work, 7:00am.

[Ray]

I mean, you cater to him. I wish you did that for me, Ray. This is when he loves to hit that first ball.

[Coach]

No. And so I'm like, all right, dude, let's. Let's try to figure this out. And he texted me. Let me see when he texted me. It was great.

[Ray]

Yeah, let's get the timeline set. Smart.

[Coach]

Okay, here we go.

[Ray]

You're being so slow. I'm about to go take a piss and then come back.

[Coach]

He said, On Saturday, September 6th. He said, hey, September 10th through the 17th, when could you play? I said, are you off all that week? He said, no, but my wife's sister's in town, so I will get more sleep even if I play golf because there'll be help there for the kids.

[Ray]

I get it. Parenthood.

[Coach]

I said, I could play that Monday or Wednesday. He said that Monday would be ideal. I said, could you do about 1 or 1:30 or does it need to be morning? He said, no, I could play at those times. It's perfect.

[Ray]

You guys act like you're talking about like some tropical vacation. You guys are going to a local muni. That would be idyllic, Correct?

[Coach]

So this past Friday, I wanted to follow up with Cody the crystal clear.

[Ray]

Waters of the muni pond.

[Coach]

And I said, are we playing Monday? And he said, yeah. I said, okay, is 1 o' clock or 1:30 still good with you? And he goes, I'd prefer 1 o'. Clock.

[Ray]

Oh my gosh, get to the point. I don't, Ray. I gave him his breakfast ball at 100 2. Who gives a rip when Cody wants to play golf? That's why I play by myself.

[Coach]

I said, is Andrew coming and does the local muni work? He said, I'll ask him. I'm not sure if he's working that day. And yes, that course works. Then he replies, he's in. I said, okay, I will hit up my dude and get a tee time. I got a connection now. And they just told me that I can text him and he'll put us on the tee sheet. And he goes, dang, that's big time. The connections you need. I said, it only took 12 years of living here to finally have a connection at one golf course. He said, Saturday, 3:55pm My lady connections, dude.

[Ray]

My lady doesn't make me pay until I check out for the Day. If I go at the turn, she's like, honey, don't even worry about it. Get me on the way out.

[Coach]

I love that.

[Ray]

How's that not a connection?

[Coach]

That's a connection.

[Ray]

She lets me pay later.

[Coach]

That's pretty good layaway golf. I've never heard of it. And he said on Saturday at 3:55pm we get in. And I replied at 5:48pm he said he's off Monday, but the guys would try to get us in on the T sheet. Okay, the connection. The connection. So we get done with the pod on Monday. I go on, I post the pod, I close down my computer, laptop shut till tomorrow. That's right.

[Ray]

Understand the reference?

[Coach]

No.

[Ray]

Oh, my gosh.

[Coach]

Wolf of Wall street, all women.

[Ray]

It's, I guess, largely them women. On Friday, there's this meme where it says, slams laptop shut till Monday.

[Coach]

Oh.

[Ray]

And then it's like, I'm done with damn work. Boom. Slams a laptop shut. God, that's what you did.

[Coach]

I didn't. I didn't realize that. And so I drive to the local.

[Ray]

Muni slam tablet home till Monday, Ray.

[Coach]

I pull up at 12:51pm and I'm like, man, this is great. I text Cody. I said, hey, you here?

[Ray]

You up?

[Coach]

I said, is Andrew here? And I get out of the car, I change into my shorts, my golf shirt, put my golf hat on, and I grab the bag. And I'm about to walk up to the clubhouse, and there's a guy that's unloading his cart, and he's about to get in his car, and he goes, hey. And I said, you want me to take the cart? And he goes, that'd be awesome. I said, perfect. Saves me the walk.

[Ray]

Good timing.

[Coach]

Perfect timing. And so I throw the clubs on there, and I roll up to the clubhouse, and I said, hey, man, you know, we're here for the one. You know, we're three of us, blah, blah, blah. And he goes, all right, yeah, we'll get you out in a minute. I go outside, and Cody still hadn't texted me back about, are you here?

[Ray]

You up? That's the late night text to a chick when we were single. Are you up?

[Coach]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Ray]

The new version of that is, are you here? Hey, bro, where the Are you?

[Coach]

Yeah. And I call Cody. I said, dude, are you here? And he goes, no, I'm at the zoo.

[Ray]

You hear the zebras in the background?

[Coach]

And I'm like, what do you mean here at the zoo? I thought we've been planning this. I mean, I have the text message receipts. I have receipt at the receipt, at the receipt that we're doing this damn thing. At one o' clock on Monday, Housewives edition. He said, oh, I texted you later Saturday and said, do we need to come up with a backup plan? I'm like, you did? And I go back and look. And he goes, he did. He texted me at 7:32pm on Friday. We need a backup plan just in case. Question mark. But I don't understand, what backup plan did we need? We had golf set.

[Ray]

We sound like, dude. A bunch of monkeys trying to find our nuts.

[Coach]

He's like, sorry, man. So I'm at the zoo with the family.

[Ad Voice]

Oh.

[Ray]

As Justin would say, we sound like nutless apes.

[Coach]

I said, well, what about Andrew? Is he coming? He goes, no. I told him we weren't playing because you never. You said we didn't have a backup plan. And I guess I didn't realize I totally missed the text. That's my fault, right?

[Ray]

But were you taking the conversation saying, it's not for sure this guy's going to hook it up?

[Coach]

I said, they will try, but once you're at the golf course, you just got to tell them you're there and they'll put you on the sheet and get you out. So once you get there, you're not going to. Oh, no. Okay. And then drive to another course that takes 30 minutes and the day's ruined.

[Ray]

Sometimes you got to do it. If you try that one out by where I used to live in the west side.

[Coach]

Yeah. And so I was just like, crap, man. He goes, my bad, dude. He goes, we'll play one of these days. And I was like, I don't know if we will because this just. We had it set up a week in advance and it didn't come through. So I had this whole anticipation of seeing Cody. I haven't seen him, and I mean, at least six, seven months. I don't know what he looks like. Does he have long hair now? Does he have short hair?

[Ray]

Beards? Part probability.

[Coach]

Is the beard out of control? Like, is he pushing £300? Has he been working? I have no idea what's going on in his life.

[Ray]

I always just say, and especially with the convention people put £20 on him and some facial hair. You know, give it a year. I would say, really? A lot of our people, I don't see a buddy from college put 30 pounds on him. Longer hair, maybe a silver dollar in the back. Probably what he's going to look like.

[Coach]

So then I had a decision to make do, I go back to my car, pack up my bag, take off the golf shoes, and tuck my tail between my legs and go home.

[Ray]

Hey, do you want to take the cart back over there? Yeah, I'm not even gonna go. Yeah, you take it now. Back. I'm done already. I finished before you. But you had already finished 18 holes. You want to take the cart?

[Coach]

All right, or do I, since I'm at the golf course, Go ahead and play. Because I was anticipating playing and I was looking forward to a beautiful day on the course on a Monday. And I had to weigh those options. And I looked at myself and I'm like, well, I drove over here. It would kind of be a waste of gas money if I just turned around and went home now.

[Ray]

Gotta play.

[Coach]

So I went back into the clubhouse. I was like, hey, man, I'm mistaken. I told you three. It's just gonna be me.

[Ray]

I always mess up threes and ones.

[Coach]

Yeah, I get a little confused on my numbers, you know what I mean? It's hard for me to count on my fingers how many people are actually going to be in my group. The other one is at the zoo. The other guy, I don't know where he is.

[Ray]

Oh, my gosh. Make up a story to my buddies, colleagues. Got stuck at the law firm. Pretty busy case. I believe we'll win it. But yeah, I'm going to go ahead and just play solo. Is that cool? That sounds a lot better. My buddies at the zoo. Yeah, my buddies at the zoo and the other guys strung out on drugs. It's just me today, coach. Make a story.

[Coach]

I thought the story was better. That man. My, my, my, my buddy chose the zoo over this dude. Like, are you kidding me? Like, I thought they would rel.

[Ray]

It sounds like your friends go to Pee Wee Playhouse. Who's that guy? Friggin Mr. Bean.

[Coach]

No, no, not Mr. Bean.

[Ray]

We know. Peewee Herman.

[Coach]

Yeah, Peewee Herman. Anyway, so I went back in. I was like, hey, man, it's just going to be me, actually. And he goes, you ready to go right now?

[Ray]

Oh, yeah, I can go.

[Coach]

I was like, yeah, I guess I can go, right? And he goes, all right. You see those guys? Two guys on the tee box? You're going to join up with them? Hey, Carl. Carl, you out there? No, I'm out here in the bay. But what do you need? I need you to stop those guys on the tee box. Tell them you got another one joining them. Okay, I can drive right over there right now. I'll do that right now. And so, I mean, the cart bay is literally right next to my cart. So I mean, I almost beat him to the tee box.

[Ray]

Just yell next time. Thanks.

[Coach]

Yeah. And he goes, and the guy goes, all right, man, you're good to go. Just jump in with those guys. All right? So I run out, jump up, drive up to the set. I'm gonna join you. He goes, yeah, that's what this guy told us.

[Ray]

What is it? Beth Page, Tight security. Ray, Good foreshadowing. That's gonna be the Rider cup in a week.

[Coach]

Yeah, it's gonna be a rider coming a week and a half. I will be there. And then I'm like, I, man, introduce myself. Cool, cool. I didn't see them hit. They'd already teed off. And I step up and smack it down the middle. Like, wow, man, good shot. I'm like, thanks, man. Thanks. Let's. Let's get this round going. Bah. Bah. High fives.

[Ray]

Were they together? Yeah, they were together, but I mean together together.

[Coach]

No, no, not together. I. It took me like four holes to figure out if they were together together or just like together. And turns out the one guy he mentioned his girlfriend got him. Maybe the, the, the shooter. Yep. And so he was like, he was like, ah, my girlfriend got this for me. I really love it. And so that's when I knew they weren't together together.

[Ray]

Rangefinder.

[Coach]

Yeah, rangefinder. And so we proceeded to play the 18 holes and I mean, it was, it was slow going.

[Ray]

Like, what, was it windy that day?

[Coach]

No, it wasn't windy. There wasn't, I mean, barely any wind.

[Ray]

At all the next day then.

[Coach]

Yeah, it was beautiful. That first hole. I hit it right down the fairway and then a little wind at my back and I freaking pull out the eight iron, boom. And I hit it over the green too far and. And then I chipped up in one, putted for par. And they're like, whoa. And I'm like, guys, this is not gonna, this, trust me, this is not going to go on all day.

[Ray]

Okay, so they were worse than you?

[Coach]

Well, no, no, no.

[Ray]

I just want to gauge it.

[Coach]

That's what I'm. That one guy, the lefty could smack it.

[Ray]

See, what is with lefties? They've just got such a built in golf swing.

[Coach]

And he didn't hit like his, his drive, it wasn't high, it was a low line drive, but it went 250, 60 yards. I mean, he was smacking that drive and his irons were way up in the air. But what's he gonna say so then the only problem was we got to hold, like four. There's a traffic jam. There was a group in front of us, had a twosome, and then the group in front of them was four. And there was four walkers.

[Ray]

You're not getting past them.

[Coach]

Correct. Not even. Not only four walkers, but four walkers in their 60s, probably.

[Ray]

Yeah.

[Coach]

So they are. One guy got the umbrella up, you know what I mean, covering him, taking forever. And I mean, one of the guys in that I was playing with was getting so pissed.

[Ray]

And I'm telling you guys, it's the difference in this. We have jobs. We're kind of like lickety split. These guys have nowhere to be. And I respect that they're in no hurry, but that's what the golf course brings. Rich, poor, retired, unretired.

[Coach]

Yeah, homeless. Not homeless. Mansions and moats and people that live in on a boat. I mean, there's all sorts of people at the golf course. And the one dude in my group is getting so mad. I mean, we're on hole six.

[Ray]

What are their ages?

[Coach]

They're probably late 20s, okay. Would be my guess.

[Ray]

Those are bros.

[Coach]

They're bros because one of them was from the Wood Brentwood. But, you know, he's not living at home anymore. He's living. He's got a real job. He's in real estate, raising crypto. The other guy was in tech sales, and he hadn't had a dishwasher in three weeks.

[Ray]

What is he, an AI bot? What do you mean he's in tech sales?

[Coach]

That's what he told me, man. Tech sales. What do you do?

[Ray]

Program chat. GPT, you little Gemini.

[Coach]

I'm like, what do you do? Call people and say, hey, will you sign up for AI? I didn't really ask questions, but cool. And he hadn't had a dishwasher for three weeks. And the dishwasher guy said, oh, I can come between 8 and noon. So he was like, I thought, I'm going to take half the day off. You know, he'll be here at 8, get it done. I'll go to work. He goes, dude, didn't show up till noon. He goes, so it's right in the middle of the day. So I just said, screw it. I'm taking the whole day. We're going to play golf.

[Ray]

The worst when they have the window and they do the end of the.

[Coach]

Window into the windows. The worst. He's like. So he was. I was like, man, if we hurry, we can get the golf course. We can get 18 in and we're sitting there on the tee box on six, and the one guy's like, man, this is so stupid. So they shouldn't even offer walking at the golf course. It's so dumb. Like, what's the point of walking the golf course? Like, this is why golf courses are stupid, because they don't need to be offering walkers, because all it does is slow everybody down, and it's just an inconvenience for everybody. If they want to have walking, it should be one day a week, and walkers can go on that day. Every other day, you got to ride in a cart.

[Ray]

Hey, do you need a Snickers, man?

[Coach]

I'm like, you're. You're not the same when you're hungry.

[Ray]

Geez.

[Coach]

And I. And I'm like, well, I mean, some of them do it for exercise. Well, that's. That's not my. That.

[Ray]

That started debating the guy in my head.

[Coach]

In my head. In my head. In my head.

[Ray]

I was like, well, I don't golf with any other people.

[Coach]

I was like. I was like, man, in my head, I'm like, they're 60, so they kind of do it for exercise. But he's like, I just don't get it. I mean, we got places to be, and I don't want to be here for six hours.

[Ray]

I'm with him on that.

[Coach]

No, I was like, no, I agree. I was like, no, man, I totally feel you, man. I was like, you know, I'd come out on weekdays trying to get in and out two and a half, three hours. You can play around a golf. He's like, but maybe at the turn, they'll go in for, like, 20 minutes, and then we can. We'll just zip past them.

[Ray]

Sometimes that can happen.

[Coach]

I'm like, smart. Course didn't happen.

[Ray]

What do you mean? Because they didn't grab any pork missiles.

[Coach]

They didn't grab anything.

[Ray]

Yeah, they tell, hey, I heard they have good missiles.

[Coach]

They went straight to the. The 10th tee. We could see him. So we said, we got something to eat. I got a burger because I hadn't eaten lunch. I got a burger and some Sun Chips, and then we went to number 10. And what did we do?

[Ray]

Stop playing.

[Coach]

We stopped playing. We sat there and sat there and let the group in front of us finish the whole number 10, because there's no one behind us. Nobody behind us.

[Ray]

You should have jumped in front. Just skip a hole.

[Coach]

That's what I said, dude. We could literally Skip to number 12.

[Ray]

And then come back.

[Coach]

And then come back and play 10, 11, when we finish 18.

[Ray]

And.

[Coach]

No, we'll just sit here. We'll just sit here. And so we let the group in front of us play the par four, that number 10. And then they played the par three, number 11. And we didn't tee off on number 10 until they were teeing off on number 12, the group in front of us.

[Ray]

Smart.

[Coach]

Then it pretty much flowed the rest of the day.

[Ray]

Okay.

[Coach]

Rest of the day, it flowed. And let me tell you, Ray, when I got that par on number one, I was like, man, that was awesome. And then I think I got a bogey on number two. Then my. The number three is a par five. I hit it left out of the fairway, Then I hit it right, and there's some trees, and I'm like, man, I'm gonna have to do a punch shot or I'm gonna go over those trees. And I don't really know how to go over trees.

[Ray]

Yeah, that's not in our bag.

[Coach]

It's not really in our bag.

[Ray]

What are you talking about? Over the tree? Anytime you try to go over the tree, you're going to go right into it. Like, just go under it.

[Coach]

Right? But if I go under it, I don't think there's a real shot at me making it to the green and three. And, you know, so I was like, I'm going to. I'm going to try this. So I get the eight iron out.

[Ray]

Hit some guy's house, and I'm in.

[Coach]

The rough, and I kind of open the club face, and I just whack. And, oh, my God, it went over the tree. And, I mean, it's going right for the pin. Sheesh. Bounces, goes right by the pin and rolls off the back of the green. But, I mean, no, no, no. It was probably the greatest iron shot I've ever hit because it went over the tree, and I'm in my. In my bag going, damn, that was a golf shot. That was a golf shot.

[Ray]

That's what the pros do. But they can stick it on the green. That's the difference.

[Coach]

Yeah, exactly. That is the difference. They stick it right by the stick and. Right.

[Ray]

They got breaks.

[Coach]

And so after nine, I'm plus six.

[Ray]

That's good.

[Coach]

I am plus six.

[Ray]

Okay, so you're at 41.

[Coach]

I am on fire.

[Ray]

So you're a plus 12 handicap at this point.

[Coach]

At that time, I am looking at like, wow, wow, wow. We're setting this course on fire.

[Ray]

You're plus 12. I had to fill out this thing for. I got the golf finder yeah. The max it goes is plus 20. I'm plus like 25. It wouldn't even go as high as I am.

[Coach]

I'm usually like a plus 18 or 19. You are. That's my handy. Yeah.

[Ray]

Must be a plus 40.

[Coach]

And so we go to number 10 and I get up there and I hit the drive. Goes a little right in the rough. I'm hitting it out of the rough and I mean, I yank it so far left into the woods, chip it up onto the green. Three putt, triple bogey.

[Ray]

There goes the handicap there.

[Coach]

I mean, after being plus six on the front, I'm plus three on number 10. And I'm just like, oh my gosh, here we go.

[Ray]

And you got those old fellows looming up ahead. The only thing you can do there is crack one open. Just enjoy the day. But I know you don't crack one open because it's a Monday.

[Coach]

It's a Monday.

[Ray]

But sometimes you got to. Otherwise you're not going to enjoy yourself.

[Coach]

And I will say, these bros, they didn't crack one open. Really? On a Monday, day off. Two dudes in the mid-20s not cracking open a single one.

[Ray]

The thing, I always got a good laugh. But the muni on the west side, it didn't matter. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, obviously, Thursday, Friday. Those first three days of the week, bros would crack at noon.

[Coach]

Crack.

[Ray]

I would love it. Heck, they even got me cracking one time. Abby was doing the walk around Arnold's Girl and she saw me crack a beer. I go, I literally have two beers out here. And your mom and you walk around the track, right? When I'm drinking a beer, I look like an alcoholic.

[Coach]

Yeah, it makes you feel. It felt weird. And they weren't cracking a beer, but on hole number five, they started hitting their vapes. I didn't. They didn't look like vapors, dude.

[Ray]

See, so that they're California.

[Coach]

I had no idea they would be vapors. They did not look like vapors, but they were smoke everywhere, bro.

[Ray]

When we went to Low Key Flex, we went to Hawaii.

[Coach]

Whoa. Okay, Rich. Rich.

[Ray]

These vapors, this economy, these Terran was so into the vape. We went to five, ten stores in Lahaina. We went the entire Maui island. Try and find a vape. She couldn't get one. Dang, those people are. Dude, we were beating down doors for them to open up at 7am cuz she woke up and needed the vape. Those things are more addictive than cigarettes.

[Coach]

That's what I hear. And they're worse for you. Is What I hear, I was like, kids, put down the vapes.

[Ray]

I'm trying to nurse a hangover. All I need is some eggs and bakey. And Terence just drove the entire Maui island looking for this vape just to get some of this. Whatever it was. Magic power. Magic little fairy dust into her lungs. What was it was probably the weed one.

[Coach]

I don't know.

[Ray]

13.

[Coach]

Yeah. Theirs didn't smell like weed. I know what weed smells like, and it didn't smell like it. So then we go throughout the. After that, that triple bogey, I think I baby bogey the next one. Then par, then par, then par, then bogey.

[Ray]

Okay, I'm keeping the note card right here.

[Coach]

Then par. So going to 17. If I can par both these holes, I am going to shoot a personal best record of my life. Wow. So I step up on the par 5 17th, and I line up that drive. Whack. And I absolutely murder she. Murder the freaking drive. So then I'm sitting I don't know how far out.220 out on the par 5.

[Ray]

I mean, the hybrid.

[Coach]

Get the hybrid. Exactly. I just want to put it. You know, I could. What I really should have done.

[Ray]

You ain't driving the green. You just need to lay up.

[Coach]

No, no. Should have done a six iron. Put that about 155. And that way you're sitting 80 out, you know what I mean? No big deal. But instead, I get the four wood and I yank it to the left a little bit in the rough, But I'm only 60 yards out, so. All right, get that attack wedge right on the green, below the hole in three. In three green and regulation. Beautiful. Gir my line up that putt, it's probably about a 18 footer. Line it up and it's gonna go left to right. There's a big hook dink, and it starts curving to the right, starts curving to the right. And the guy's like, oh, oh, oh. Stays on the top side of the hole, goes past the hole, down a hill. It's okay, it's okay.

[Ray]

Oh, no. So he went off the green, not.

[Coach]

Off the green, but just like to the backside of the green. And I'm like, all right, that's all right. Let me step up with my putter.

[Ray]

Would you mind not saying anything this time, college bro?

[Coach]

After the drive of my life for par, misses, and I bogey. And I bogey.

[Ray]

So now you got a birdie to have the best score of your life.

[Coach]

Have to have a birdie for the best score of my life.

[Ray]

Assuming you don't. Let's go to break. And on to another story. Oh, you did.

[Coach]

And so I step up on 18. I'm like, this one is for Cody, who didn't show up. Whack. And I rip it right down on the fairway. But the only problem is there's this big tree that hangs over the fairway. So I'm on the right side of the fairway.

[Ray]

Do you want to be on the right?

[Coach]

And I'm like, okay, do I go over this tree?

[Ray]

No, through it. Get your four.

[Coach]

Or do I get my four iron and sting it up on the green?

[Ray]

Give it a stinger, man.

[Coach]

120 out.

[Ray]

What do you boys think? Bee sting or rainbow? Not you guys are gay or anything. You know what I mean? Golf term.

[Coach]

So I pull out the four iron, hit that stinger, rolls right past the hole, six feet below the cup.

[Ray]

There you go. There's your birdie. And we're going to take a break.

[Coach]

And then I drop a ball just because I'm going to see if I can get it over this tree.

[Ray]

Why would you do that?

[Coach]

And I hit it over the tree, but short of the green. The right call was the stinger. I just wanted to practice the shot.

[Ray]

But after you're playing perfect, don't try and mess.

[Coach]

All right? Don't try to mess with it. And the guys, they. They're on the green now. One guy misses his putt bad. Other guy misses his putt bad. So it's my turn to go. I step up. It's gonna be a little right to left bender. Right to left bender.

[Ray]

I have the sound effect ready.

[Coach]

I step up. Clink. It's starting to curve left. Curve left. And.

[Ray]

Woo.

[Coach]

And I said, f yeah, boys. F yeah. You guys just got to see me shoot the best round of my freaking life.

[Ray]

Yeah, we don't know you. Cool. See you never. Thanks for playing with us. Like, that's why I don't play with people. And they don't give a rip of you from Adam.

[Coach]

And they didn't really care. They're like, oh. They're like. They're like, oh, that's cool, man. That's cool. They're like, what'd you shoot?

[Ray]

Good luck with air conditioning sales or whatever you do. Heading back to the tech world. See you later, man.

[Coach]

I. I said. And they said, what'd you shoot? And I was like, 83. And then one guy was like, oh, I shot an 80 once. I'm like, dude, you don't have to one up me. I am in my moment right now.

[Ray]

83.

[Coach]

83. And when I say. No, no, no.

[Ray]

Hold on.

[Coach]

When I say 83, I mean a 100% legit 83.

[Ray]

Okay? I played with you before. I believe you.

[Coach]

Not a single ray. No foot wedges. No. No gimmes. I put it. Every putt.

[Ray]

Gimme from a foot out is fine.

[Coach]

No, every putt was putted.

[Ray]

Gimme five feet out is fine.

[Coach]

No, no, no, no, no, no. Five feet.

[Ray]

Five feet. You miss a putt, me and Justin play three club links. Out is a gimmick. Anybody that does that, guys, that's where you're go. Your points.

[Coach]

That's where you're going to make a great score.

[Ray]

You miss all those putts all the time. So I hate the pe. We joke about this. I hate the people that do a gimme when it's like five feet. Guys, those are the ones you miss.

[Coach]

And that's so hard.

[Ray]

Remember, that adds 18 to your score because you never make those putts.

[Coach]

And that day, I did. My putter was on fire. On fire. It was. It was amazing.

[Ray]

Okay. You celebrated by yourself. Congrats, man.

[Coach]

I did. And I told those dudes, I was like, yeah. And they're like, cool, man, Cool. My name's Sloan.

[Ray]

I'm all alone. Thanks, guys. See you later.

[Coach]

And we'll take a break.

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[Ray]

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[Ray]

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[Coach]

Step into the world of power, loyalty, and luck. I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse. With family. Cannolis and spins mean everything. Now you want to get mixed up in the family business. Introducing the [e-mail] test your luck in the shadowy world of the Godfather slot. Someday I will call upon you to do a service for me. Play the Godfather [e-mail] Welcome to the family. No purchase necessary. VGW Group void.

[Ray]

We're prohibited by law 21 plus.

[Coach]

Terms and conditions apply.

[Julian Edelman]

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[Ray]

All right, we got to start.

[Coach]

We got to start the show, man. I did not know the trip down the golf course was going to take 27 minutes. I apologize.

[Ray]

I was not going to allow you to until I realized it was building for a grand crescendo.

[Coach]

Oh, dude, the birdie on 18. I'd never birdied that hole in my life, Ever in my life.

[Ray]

And you were celebrating under the Tennessee sun all by yourself, dude.

[Coach]

Oh, you know what I did?

[Ray]

That was a hell of a game.

[Coach]

You know what I did on the way home?

[Ray]

Nobody saw it. Not your kid, your wife, me, Justin. Nobody, dude. You and your AI bot friends.

[Coach]

And you know what I did on the way home, though? I stopped and bought a gallon of blue Bell cookies and cream ice cream, because I'm gonna celebrate with the kids, and the wife and I get home, and the kids are in absolute piss moods, and we got no ice cream because we had to get into bed.

[Ray]

Here's to me. Whoa. You got done that late?

[Coach]

No, but we ate dinner, and then yet they had to do showers, and they were all grouchy and angry, and I was just like, oh, my God, I just want to have ice cream with you guys. And my wife's like, no, no, we're not doing that, because it's just gonna. No. And so we didn't celebrate my greatest round ever together.

[Ray]

All right, we're gonna do it live. We are the 1, 2, 3, soar.

[Coach]

Loser. What up, everybody? I am Lunchbox. I know the most about sports. So I'll give you the sports facts, my sports opinions, because I'm pretty much a sports genius, y'. All.

[Ray]

It's Sizzin. I'm from the north. I'm an alpha male. I live on the north side of Nashville with bays or my wife in the country. She was a Broadway girl. We had 2.2 acres, 2.2 kids at Vanderbilt. Justin is alive. He did check on him. And I'll die of a heart attack when I'm 72. Coach, over to you. And again, back over to me. I haven't played golf in months. It's too damn hot. And never know when we're gonna get off work. And on Saturday, Bazer wants to hang out. On Friday, she wants to hang out. On random Fridays, Justin will be like, hey, we should have made a tee time. And I'll say, well, I just looked. There's none available. So you really, really can never play golf. So I just play off my back patio all the time, and I love it. And find what you love about the game of golf and do that used to be gambling. I just play golf off my back patio, and I love it. Couldn't care less about the course. And I got this new Rap Soto machine. Haven't figured it out yet. Tell me that it's gonna measure all my shots. It'll show me what I'm doing, my ball speed. It shows me my attack angle, my smash factor, how fast the ball's going, the degrees that it's at, all of this stuff. I'm going to have more data on my shot than Tom Brady with his deflated footballs back when he used to have be to g data gate. Who's a data guy? Billy Bean.

[Coach]

Money Billy Bean.

[Ray]

I'm going to have more data about my swing than Billy Bean and Moneyball. And I'll hang up and listen. I knew I'd get there.

[Coach]

So what's the data saying?

[Ray]

I haven't got it figured out yet. I was all ready to set it down and do it. It has to charge for five hours. I mean, five hours. I was already in bed for three hours when it was done charging.

[Coach]

So. Okay, yeah. And I do know that the one guy, he. His driver was kind of going a little to the right. So on number 16, he pulled out the little practice thing that you have and was practicing his drive, like with that little rubber thing with the ball on the end.

[Ray]

The yellow dongle.

[Coach]

The yellow dongle. He was practicing his drive. I do know that. And the Lefty on number 16, he hit it left into the trees. Then he chunked one into the trees again. And he had a pretty good club throw. That was the only club throw on the day.

[Ray]

Baser's like, why don't you always play with your yellow dongle? I got you. And I go, because it looks like the dildo they threw in the NFL field. I mean, anytime you pull out that thing on the muni. People think you're a tool.

[Coach]

Yeah, and then I did see that. I don't know if this is true or not, but Lori booked her ticket to the convention. It's about time. Lori, we haven't seen you in about 16 years.

[Ray]

Hey, guys. I lost my voice.

[Coach]

Hey, it's Laurie. Okay, I can't talk, so that means I assume twins coming, and he'll be disappointed. He'll be wearing his Cowboys gear. They won't be playing because it'll be playoff time. And I think. I don't know if this is right, but Danny posted that she said she can't come. Like, that's not real. Her and Mario are going to be here, right?

[Ray]

They always do an Airbnb house.

[Coach]

Yeah, they all do an Airbnb house. Like, maybe that Airbnb house broke up. Maybe they're not coming this year. I don't know. But when I saw that, I'm like, that can't be real.

[Ray]

We have a deal with a hotel. Or can I give people a good place?

[Coach]

You can give them a good place. Oh, wait. Yeah, go ahead.

[Ray]

Listen, we tipped off and ones with this spot. I usually don't like to release it, but look up Sobro Placemaker. Just give it a Google on Gemini. It is awesome. You don't even feel like you're in a hotel. It's actually not a hotel. And it's bigger than a hotel room. And the location is perfect. Is our stuff going to be downtown? Downtown?

[Coach]

Oh, we're hoping everything's going to be down. I don't know.

[Ray]

And that wasn't a good recommendation.

[Coach]

Yeah, it's not going to be all downtown. Downtown.

[Ray]

All right, guys, just forget I told you any of that.

[Coach]

Hey, we got an email, though.

[Ray]

Yeah. And remember, I got to tell my story.

[Coach]

Oh, yeah, go in.

[Ray]

But it's a small story.

[Coach]

Go ahead. I want to hear it.

[Ray]

So I went to my first Nashville SC soccer game.

[Coach]

Excuse me.

[Ray]

On Tuesday night, the US Cup.

[Coach]

You. You went to the game?

[Ray]

So they hit me with an email, and they said, we're trying to get new fans to the game. All you got to do is respond to this, and we'll send you tickets. Responded just like that. They sent me two pickets tickets behind the net. So I'm going to be right there for every goal. We scored three goals, Saw every goal. Would have saw every goal if I had went to the game. So this is the part I feel bad about. So you click into these tickets that they sent me. Okay. And I thought, well, if I'm not going to go, I'm going to try and sell them. So I click into these tickets that they gave me for free to try and grow the game of soccer and they have it blocked. You can't sell them from Ticketmaster to other Ticketmaster people. Blocked. You can transfer but you can't sell them. I go, crap, I shouldn't even got these tickets in the first place. It could go to somebody else. Well, hold on a second. What if I go on Tick pick, say that I.

[Coach]

What is Tick Pick?

[Ray]

You get tickets there. So I never heard of it, man.

[Coach]

It sounds like dick pic.

[Ray]

So what if I go to Tick Pic and then I transfer the tickets and I don't even involve Ticketmaster. All I need to do is then outside transfer instead of inside. Try to sell Smart. So on Tick Pick you don't even need screenshots of tickets. You don't need anything. All you do is just type in the. They just trust you.

[Coach]

Got it?

[Ray]

If you screw somebody, they double charge your credit card. So they're assuming you're gonna be pretty trustworthy. So I throw them up there, just see if they sell. If they don't, nope, no penalty. They sold in like five minutes. $37 profit. It was like $45 profit. $37. They're like, we'll have it to you in two weeks. Some hub wallet or something. Perfect. Now how do I get them to these people? So then I go back to the website, Nashville SC website, and there's the option to transfer tickets. It won't let you sell them, but you can transfer them. So I get the guy's name from Tickpick and his email, take those tickets from Ticketmaster.

[Coach]

What's his name?

[Ray]

Reese.

[Coach]

Okay.

[Ray]

And transfer them to Reese. And Tick pick sends me an email and I go. I think that worked because I never really even had these virtual tickets. I never proved to Reese I had these tickets. I just shot him a random email from Ticketmaster that I don't even know if they were really allowing me to transfer him tickets. I hope he got them five minutes later, like 8:30am it all went down in no less than 20 minutes. Less than 20 minutes. Tick Pick has accepted your tickets and your $37 is processing. I sold the free tickets, they said. And Reese went to the game and he saw a massive Nashville SC win. Surridge with five goals, baby Reese. Thank you Nashville SC for spreading. The game of soccer was a happy.

[Coach]

As a clam last night. Him and his broski or him and his girl or him and his dad? Him and his mom? I don't know. Him and his kid. I don't know who he went with.

[Ray]

Sam. Surge could not be stopped. And you know what? Thank you, Nashville sc for growing the game of soccer, because Reese is a fan.

[Coach]

That's funny, man. Because I was like. I was walking around that stadium last night and I didn't see you anywhere you went. I went to the game. Are you freaking kidding me?

[Ray]

I would have saw you there.

[Coach]

If I would have run into you in the concourse, I'd have been like, what are you doing here?

[Ray]

Were you behind the net?

[Coach]

No.

[Ray]

Oh, see, mine was one away behind the net.

[Coach]

I was side net. And I.

[Ray]

When they scored. What if you just saw me and baser behind the net?

[Coach]

I'd have been like. I'd look at my wife. Is that Ray and Bay over there? There's no way that's Ray and Bay. Ray would. Ray would not go to a soccer game and on a Tuesday night, let alone. But here's the great part.

[Ray]

It was 7pm you're right about half about that. I would go to a soccer game. I would not go to a soccer game on a Tuesday night.

[Coach]

Yeah, 7:00pm dude, we were out of there at 9, 10. It was so awesome. It wasn't even late. And here's the hard part. There's plenty of good seats still available.

[Ray]

Really?

[Coach]

There. It was empty.

[Ray]

It was.

[Coach]

It was empty. Empty.

[Ray]

Well, those tickets sold like lickety split. I mean, I know sooner. Got an email from Tick Pic saying thanks for registering. And another one banged the other email out of my inbox and said, you have sold your tickets.

[Coach]

What?

[Ray]

I just listed them. I didn't even know they're on the web.

[Coach]

It was so empty that some of the houses weren't even selling their lawns for the game.

[Ray]

You park on them for free?

[Coach]

No, it was so empty, I just turned on one of the streets. Street parking for free. Right in front of someone's house that put up a no parking sign. Guess what I did in front of their no parking sign? I parked and I walked my ass to that stadium.

[Ray]

I would have worried the entire time.

[Coach]

Why? It's not a legal sign. They just printed a no parking sign and stuck it in their yard. Like, you can't do that. You don't own the street.

[Ray]

I want to say though, it's. It's this US Leagues cup is confusing as hell. Give me mls, Give me the playoffs. Nobody understands it. And that's why I didn't sell out.

[Coach]

I'LL be honest with you, I had no idea what it was.

[Ray]

It doesn't count towards stats. No, I know that count towards anything.

[Coach]

What is it?

[Ray]

I just want mls. I want playoffs. I want to know. NFL playoffs, NBA playoffs. Mls.

[Coach]

No, in season tournament. NBA.

[Ray]

It's confusing as hell.

[Coach]

No, you want to. You want to know when it's in season tournament. When they have the God ugly courts. When they have those ugly courts that are awful and you can't see and you're like, what is that crap?

[Ray]

Well, I think WNBA does it too.

[Coach]

They do in league tournament.

[Ray]

Yes.

[Coach]

Whatever. It's the stupidest thing ever. But anyway, I still watch it. It's fun.

[Ray]

Yeah, because the Caitlin Clark's team won it.

[Coach]

They did. Yeah.

[Ray]

And now they're in the playoff.

[Coach]

I mean, she doesn't even play.

[Ray]

She's never playing this year. Yeah, she's in street clothes. But guys, if your commissioner's listening, please know in season tournaments like the one at Nashville SC last night I said, they don't make. My name is Bennett. I ain't in it. My name is Paul. It's up to y'. All. It doesn't make no sense. My name's Common and inc. I don't make no sense.

[Coach]

Dude. It's really weird because I thought it was the league's cup where we played Messi a couple of years ago in the final and it was all amazing. And I kept googling, man, like, when does the leagues cup semifinals? When do they play? And it was like, leagues cup has not started yet. I'm like, no, it is because we. The national scene just advanced yesterday. Like whenever they. It was like, leagues cup has not started yet. Totally different tournament. We're not even in leagues cup because we sucked so bad last season and.

[Ray]

The playoffs don't start for another month.

[Coach]

Correct.

[Ray]

That's what I care about. And so we get playoff games here.

[Coach]

Yeah, we'll get at least one.

[Ray]

Okay, that's actually exciting.

[Coach]

And so we. We did go last night with Josh and Mary, who live around the corner. We left the kids at home with a babysitter and we saddled up and we drove to the stadium. And we were there and it was empty. We had the whole road to ourselves. It was amazing. Yeah. I host a podcast.

[Ray]

The guy Ray kind of looks like that guy behind the net.

[Coach]

Yeah. Wait, his wife. I thought Ray was going to be sitting in one away. Why does that. Is that Reese? His wife just flashed, so that's weird. And I mean, we watched and it was awesome. Sam Surridge Let me tell you, I want to apologize to that dude.

[Ray]

He's player of the year.

[Coach]

He is the player of the year. And I want to apologize to him because we got him. I feel like a year and a half ago, I don't know. And last year, I thought he was a bum. He never did anything. I thought he was an absolute bum.

[Ray]

He scores all the time.

[Coach]

And I kept saying, get rid of him. What a waste of a signing. He is so bad at soccer. And he told me to shut the F up this year because we got a new coach. And all of a sudden, the new coach knows how to use them and we. He scores all the time. He had a hat trick last night. And NSC is in the championship of the US Open Cup.

[Ray]

Yes.

[Coach]

And the championship game's not here.

[Ray]

You know what? Grow the game. Send me a couple more tickets. National sc.

[Coach]

No, you can't, because the game's not here. The game is either going to be in Minnesota or it's going to be in Austin. They play tonight, and the winner of that game gets to host the championship on October 1st. Oh, what day is October 1st? You know, maybe a weekend. No, a Wednesday night. Okay, well, I can't go to that game.

[Ray]

Yeah, if you were going to. Yeah, I get you. Yeah, but you guys won, so it seems like, well, we should have a home game for the championship.

[Coach]

Well, yeah, but one of those two teams is going to win, so they should. They did a coin flip at the beginning of the tournament, and the coin flip determined the winner of the Western Division side. They get to host the championship. But it was great, man. The stadium was empty. There was no lines at the concessions. There was no line at the bathroom. It was fantastic. No traffic getting out, free parking. I mean, it was amazing. What a great night.

[Ray]

To the airport.

[Coach]

The weather was beautiful. And my wife made a huge mistake, though.

[Ray]

It. Did it sprinkle?

[Coach]

No, it downpoured before. Yeah, but then it did not. It cleared up, and it was a beautiful night for soccer.

[Ray]

That's only the second time it is rain. And it was a sprinkle. It has rained in the last month in Nashville.

[Coach]

No, it was a monsoon at our house for, like, 30 minutes.

[Ray]

It's sprinkled, not monsoon.

[Coach]

Oh, dude. Soccer practice canceled.

[Ray]

Okay?

[Coach]

We got out there. We're getting dressed. Boom. Thunder. All right, wrap it up, boys. Get in the car. Let's go.

[Ray]

And, guys, I'm not gonna try and sound too weathery, but I looked at the radar because the clouds looked cumulonimbus and it was not.

[Coach]

Are you sure they weren't stratus.

[Ray]

It was not supposed to rain. And they did whatever they did in the atmosphere and it then rained. Maybe it was always supposed to rain in Nashville. I'm not speaking that. But in the Indian Lake area, it was not supposed to rain and it rained. I will tell you right now. And there was not supposed to be radar at five. And it rained.

[Coach]

It was nowhere on the radar, dude. I didn't see anything about rain. But boom. Boys. Let's go. Let's go. In the car. In the car.

[Ray]

Blew my plant over my. I have, like, turf. I have. I do the same turf the Titans do on the stadium. I put it on the patio. It blew that thing all the way onto the grass. Basically. Like, what are you doing out there? Remodeling. I go remodeling. A windstorm just came through. A drencho just ripped my palm tree off to the side of the house. No, I'm not remodeling. I'm putting crap back.

[Coach]

Let's take a break. We'll be right back.

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[Coach]

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[Coach]

Now let's check the email. Man, I got a good email. Says, hey, coachers, hope you're doing well. A little Vegas tip for you. When you have a voucher for less than a dollar, put the voucher into the Dragon of Phoenix link machine. The machine will give you a chance for a free spin. Most of the time you will not get a free spin. But sometimes you do. Last week in Vegas, I tried for a free spin on a 76 cent voucher. I got a free $25 spin and it hit for a bonus of $850. So never donate the change from your vouchers and always try to get the free spin. Good luck. P.S. you should finally face up. You should try finally. Oh. P.S. you should finally try face up. Powgal. Degenerate. Jesse Y. I don't know what pow gow is, but I walked by it. I think it's the one with tiles. Or is that backgammon?

[Ray]

Well, I've heard it's the one you can make money on in Vegas, but I believe it's not easy to play.

[Coach]

I don't know anything about what's the easiest game.

[Ray]

The casino roulette. Yeah, I mean, Bazer knows how to play it. I know how to play it. You know how to play it, Pal Gow do you know how to play it?

[Coach]

I don't even know what it is.

[Ray]

That's what I'm saying. So I believe it's the most difficult one. We tend to be like gen pop and stick to the easiest Blackjack. Get to 21. Who can get the closest? Pal go. I believe there's twists and turns. If I need to watch an hour YouTube about it, I will because I'm so tired of talking about it and not knowing what the damn hell it is.

[Coach]

I'll find out this weekend. I'll play pow.

[Ray]

The time not to find out about a game is when you're in casino with your own money.

[Coach]

No, I'm gonna text Jenny right now and I'm going to tell her, hey, can you learn Pow Gal so you can teach us this weekend? Her and her husband Andy are going.

[Ray]

Your friends?

[Coach]

Yeah.

[Ray]

I got a lock for you.

[Coach]

Okay.

[Ray]

You can either take it or leave it.

[Coach]

So.

[Ray]

But if you decide to take it, you've actually got to bet it. Okay, so there was an NFL. There was a college quarterback that was drunk and on Broadway at Jelly Rolls last night with Johnny Manziel. They were partying till I saw the video at 2, 3am and they had multiple bottles of 1957 tequila.

[Coach]

I wonder who Tennessee Tech's playing this weekend.

[Ray]

So it wasn't them. It was a more known school in. In Nashville.

[Coach]

Oh, okay. Got it.

[Ray]

It was Vanderbilt.

[Coach]

Oh.

[Ray]

Who would be an important player on Vanderbilt's team?

[Coach]

I'm going to say the only player on Vanderbilt's team is Diego Pavia.

[Ray]

So he was partying with Johnny Manziel. I have picture confirmation till about 3am on a Tuesday night. That same team is four touchdown favorites on Saturday. Don't know who they play. Georgia State, maybe.

[Coach]

Okay, let me see.

[Ray]

I am telling you right now, option B, take the team they play plus four touchdowns and all.

[Coach]

Lock it up. That's probably the worst bet you've ever made because they're 21 year old college students. You know what college students do? They drink hard on a Monday, they drink hard on a Tuesday. And they still wake up to go to class. They still wake up to go to practice, apparently.

[Ray]

You need a picture.

[Coach]

I do. Did you ever post your picture of Johnny Manziel? No. Can you post that today? No. What?

[Ray]

Holding it hostage.

[Coach]

What do you mean you're holding it hostage?

[Ray]

The big show didn't want it, so I'm holding it hostage. Nobody gets to see it. It's on my bedside table.

[Coach]

The listeners want to see it. I haven't seen it.

[Ray]

Here's Johnny Manziel at Jelly Rolls. Okay, this is, this is 2am and.

[Coach]

Next pick is Baker Mayfield.

[Ray]

Oh, the guy on the far right.

[Coach]

Uh. Oh, let's see. Oh, that's Diego Pavia.

[Ray]

And that is two bottles of 1952, baby.

[Coach]

So what you're saying is you don't think he's taking his prep work very seriously this week?

[Ray]

I always thought Monday or actually with NFL, they play. They practice on Monday or they go through tape and Tuesday is the off day. So does that mean since college they practice and go through stuff on Sunday and Monday's the off day, but Tuesday means they would have practiced. Then they have practice again today. How do you go out partying and then practice the next day?

[Coach]

Ray, how did you ever do that? Did you know? Because they're different. I mean, they could go to the locker room and just get an iv. No, Problem?

[Ray]

Hey, I had tequila last night. Got any extra nad?

[Coach]

I'm pretty sure the coaches know. I'm pretty sure the training staff knows. Hey, Diego was out on Broadway last night. All right, we'll have two bags of IVs waiting for him when he gets home. Or maybe when he. Not even that. When he gets to the facility. Maybe they do it at his apartment when he gets home that night.

[Ray]

Well, and two other people. Yeah, in the picture. Tate Hamby.

[Coach]

Who?

[Ray]

Tate Hamby.

[Coach]

Let me google.

[Ray]

Whit Muschamp. Oh, and Michael Mancini. Sounds like Tate.

[Coach]

What? Tate what?

[Ray]

Sounds like the mother.

[Coach]

Hey, Must Champ plays for the Vanity football team.

[Ray]

So he's a lineman.

[Coach]

Tate who?

[Ray]

And Tate Hamby.

[Coach]

Hamby.

[Ray]

I want to know how many of.

[Coach]

The Vandy players are wide receiver and safety for Quincy. He is a sophomore. He's 6 foot 2. He plays. What does he play for? Vandy. And as a freshman in 2024, he did not see any action.

[Ray]

Then what about.

[Coach]

And he was ranked top 25 recruits in Louisiana. And back in the day, his. He. His father, Rooster, played football at Louisiana Tech. He enjoys hunting and catching alligators in his free time. He has three siblings, Ali, Ray, Carly and Tyler. But I don't even know what he plays.

[Ray]

Oh, great. And Michael Mancini, the other guy's a Vandy baseball player. So there is at least two of those players are on the Vandy football team.

[Coach]

Yeah, so far in 2025 against Charleston Southern, when it was 45 to 3, he had zero tackles, zero sacks, zero. Zero force fumbles, zero ints. At Virginia Tech he had zeros and at South Carolina he had zeros.

[Ray]

Oh, and Whit Must Champ, he's the backup quarterback.

[Coach]

Ah, that's it.

[Ray]

So then. Okay, so yeah, it's just Tate. It's Tate. Tate Hamby. And.

[Coach]

But Tate Hammy hadn't played.

[Ray]

No, he plays.

[Coach]

No, no, he doesn't.

[Ray]

No, he's vital. He'll run a lot of routes.

[Coach]

I'm looking at Tate Hamby. Stat stats. He has nothing. Oh, wait, he has three punt returns.

[Ray]

That's what I'm saying. Dude, the punt game is going to be affected.

[Coach]

Yeah. Oh, maybe he.

[Ray]

You're telling me this guy doesn't affect the game?

[Coach]

No, I'm not saying he's not good. I just don't see any stats for him right now.

[Ray]

Half the Vandy team was out at jelly rolls.

[Coach]

That's what we. So if you're coming to town, you want to party with Diego Pavia and the Vandy team, go to Jelly rolls. That's the moral of the story.

[Ray]

No, the moral of the story is you need to bet four touchdowns. The other team on Saturday?

[Coach]

I doubt it. We'll take a break. We'll be right back.

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[Ray]

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[Ray]

Give you research for Vegas and you leave.

[Coach]

No, that's actually good. It's really good research. That means Diego Pavia is probably going to listen and want to prove you wrong. And I think Diego Pavia can go hard and play hard. Hey, coachers. Raymundo, if you call your father in law, Phil, does that mean you call your mother in law Mill Dakota the mailman in Ohio.

[Ray]

Now mills too close to Milf milf. That'd be awkward.

[Coach]

Yeah, that's really weird. Hey, guys, how the heck do we split the coaches convention tickets into payments? I feel like a monkey with a wrench trying to figure it out. I'm glad the tickets are on sale because we didn't want to book anything else and then have this fall through. And also, this is what exactly goes down at these conventions. Can you explain? We're clueless over here. It is like a nighttime event or how does it go down? Love the pod, guys. Veronica. Veronica. I'm glad you asked. There is nighttime events, there's daytime events. There's all sorts of things. First night, there's a welcome happy hour. We get together, have drinks. It's usually about 6 to 8pm and sometimes we do a party bus. Sometimes we do other things after that. People go their own separate ways.

[Ray]

Right. And our. Some of the events are sanctioned.

[Coach]

Yes.

[Ray]

There's going to be other stuff that just happens off campus.

[Coach]

And then Saturday, we do a live pod and a watch party for the NFL game during the day. There are other events that are extra that you can pay for after that, or you can go your separate ways, meet up with other losers, do whatever you want to do. And then Sunday is the same thing. We do a award ceremony and a watch party for the NFL game. And that is the end of the convention.

[Ray]

And the Saturday TV was about 300 by 300. We're in like a movie theater. It was in Chiefs, but I mean, it was a massive tv. Like we were seeing the plays before New York was when the challenge flag was getting thrown.

[Coach]

Yeah.

[Ray]

And if you've seen the SEC or one of the conferences, they let you into the room with the people in New York and they go, yeah, I think this is going to be not a catch. I see it hitting the ground. I think you're going to want to reverse this one. Yeah, just go ahead and reverse it. And then you see the ref go, okay, that sounds like. That sounds like that'll be the call that we go. All right, we're going to reverse the call. It was an incomplete pass. We hear what the call on the field was before the fans and the players.

[Coach]

Very interesting.

[Ray]

Yeah, it was acc.

[Coach]

I believe that's pretty cool.

[Ray]

So something to look for.

[Coach]

Yeah. And J.J. mcCarthy and his. I black out three weeks. They said, man, this dude sucks. We got to sit him down. I'm asking my wife, how do you do payments for the convention tickets? Because I'm trying to answer her for the tickets, guys.

[Ray]

He can't text and talk.

[Coach]

No, I can't. I'm not very good at that. All right. Anything else you want to talk about? We got to go home. No, ma'. Am.

[Ray]

Don't title this one about the tickets. Let's try and keep that on the DL.

[Coach]

No, I would never. Anything else? Cultures. Hope you're doing well. You both had to watch Love Con Revenge on Netflix. No spoilers, but very similar to the Tinder swindler and. And multiple stories of those same situations. And please talk about it on the pod after you watch Andrew from North Dakota.

[Ray]

No, man, we don't do Wednesday reviews day. But you want to know something? A show that was recommended to me.

[Coach]

What?

[Ray]

By Arnold's wife, Abby.

[Coach]

What?

[Ray]

It's called Hunter's Wives. This is what she legit told me. Abby. Guys, Arnold's wife goes, hey, you guys should watch Hunter's Wives. And I go, well, what's it about? Why? And she goes, it's basically like a soft porn. It's just a bunch of chicks hooking up with each other all the time. And I'm like, is it good? And she goes, yeah, it's great. I was watching on the plane. It's a really good show. So, Abby, Arnold's wife was recommending soft porn, huh? Thanks.

[Coach]

We know what Arnold's into. I don't get it.

[Ray]

Yeah, I mean, she's obviously not into.

[Coach]

Arnold or Arnold's not doing a good job.

[Ray]

And I go, so did you like the plot line? Oh, yeah, it was really good. Okay, thanks. So maybe watch that and put it on Tuesday reviews day for the big show.

[Coach]

I'm probably not going to watch it, man.

[Ray]

Hey, Bobby, I've been watching this soft core.

[Coach]

No, sorry. I've been. I've been too invested in the worst season of Big Brother in the history of Big Brother is. It's God awful.

[Ray]

That's why we got to get on it.

[Coach]

It is God awful.

[Ray]

These people don't know how to make a show, man. Put us on it.

[Coach]

Oh, my God.

[Ray]

The Lauren. The Lauren girl. I think she forgets that there's cameras and she's on a national television show.

[Coach]

How are you?

[Ray]

I think I'm going to nominate him. Should I?

[Coach]

Should I or not?

[Ray]

I don't. I don't know. I don't.

[Coach]

I don't.

[Ray]

I haven't really thought about it. You haven't thought about it? You have no television or telephones in here. I would hope to God you've thought about it.

[Coach]

I mean, what. What else have you thought about? What have you been doing? What have you been doing? I mean, I thought you were a super fan. I thought you were a super fan of the show and you're. Hey, how's it going? Do you think. Do you think he'll be mad at me if I put him up and everybody? I mean, I've never seen more tears in my freaking life. Like, we cry over everything. If you get put on the block, you cry. Like, why does everybody cry? Was there this much crying in older seasons, Ray?

[Ray]

No. And also, a lot of these people are going as loners. I don't think they've ever made friends before because these people actually made friends with the people in the house. Those people are keeping you from the $750,000. You realize that? I wouldn't be friends with anyone the last day, dude. I'd be like, how's it going? What's your name? I ain't learning their names, dude. I'm there to win the money, not make lifelong. Hey, I don't. I don't even. It's not even about the game anymore. It's about lifelong friends. No, it's about the $750,000. They live in Louisiana. You're never gonna see them again.

[Coach]

No. They all become best friends. I can't wait to see you outside the house. I can't. I mean, I understand you become friends you like, but good God, they're crying every time they get put on the blog and.

[Ray]

Oh, my God, what's your number? I'd love to connect outside the house. 1-800-get- lost. See you never.

[Coach]

Hey, I'm so sorry. I gotta vote you out. No, you've got to vote them out so you can win the money. You had to vote everybody out or else you'll never win the money. That's how it works.

[Ray]

And the game's about being cutthroat in every person's speech. I'm not gonna campaign against.

[Coach]

Oh, my God. Ray. Ray, you nailed it.

[Ray]

Guys, guys, guys. Vote me out. I would never campaign against friend right here. I'm not going to say anything bad about him. No, no, no, no, no. This is your chance to debate and say bad stuff about him and air out the dirty laundry so that they vote for you and not them. You to stay, them to go. Guys, these people get in this house as loners and forget they're on a TV show to win $750,000. It blows my mind. I would be there to work out, not talk to another girl so baser doesn't kill me and come out of there with a purse. Okay.

[Coach]

A friendship.

[Ray]

What. What was your name?

[Coach]

Will.

[Ray]

Sorry, didn't even catch it for three months. Have a good one, man. Later.

[Coach]

Yep.

[Ray]

Enjoy that.

[Coach]

Oh, oh, wait. Yeah. So you have 30 seconds. You know, you guys have a few minutes to, you know, kind of strategize. Whenever they come back from the blockbuster and everybody just hugs everybody. No. Nobody pulls anybody aside and is like, yo, bro, really, you got to vote for me. Because this. This person's doing this. And then when you're. You're speaking for your life in this game, for your chance, like, it's going to be like, put out of winning $750,000. And all you say is, if I'm good for your game, I hope you keep me. What? Tell them how you're good for their game. Tell them everything that that person on that couch has said. Blow their game up. I don't care if your friends. This is Cutthroat win. Say, Samantha said that she's going to vote you out. Samantha said she doesn't have a real number. You're not her really. Her number one. She just tells you that so you'll keep her in this house. You have to throw darts instead of freaking. If I'm good for your game, keep me. If not, I understand.

[Ray]

And Will. Guys, it's been being a 50 year old man and podcaster, being a 50 year old man here, it's been so hard. I haven't had a lot in common and I haven't been able to really have conversations with people. Will, bro, you weren't put in this house to socialize. You were put in this house to win $750,000. They go, would you ever do it again? Never. What, because you didn't have anybody to talk to? Dude, I would have worked out in the backyard. I'd have been so tan that wouldn't have known a person's name, anybody's backstory. What's up? You're from Michigan. I know. I said Maryland. Oh, never listen to you. How's it going?

[Coach]

All right.

[Ray]

Thanks for the money, cbs. Write me a check. I'll see you guys later. Connect with me sometime. Get with my agent later.

[Coach]

I will say I do. Like, Will's like, Will, when he talks to people, he's like, guys, I'm not even listening to him. I just do a lot of. Yeah, that was funny.

[Ray]

That was funny.

[Coach]

Yeah. Cool. All right. Yeah. He goes, I'm not paying attention to anything they're saying because I have no idea what they just told me. If they asked me. What did I just say? I just. I would have no idea. But I just. If you just say, mm, yeah, awesome. Cool. Yeah. Oh, he goes, you could. They can talk forever, and I don't have to say anything because I'd rather be sleeping. Ah.

[Ray]

And guys, remember, when you're in the diary room, nobody can hear you. You can be another character when you're in the diary room, you can be the person you auditioned as. When you're outside in the house, play fake joke. But when you're in the diary room, I want to see some personality. Not like, that game was really fun. It was maybe my favorite game I've ever played. I thought I was going to win. No, I want you making fun of other people. Like, did you guys see the old guy trying to climb the hill? That was hilarious. How's it going? How'd I look on tv? All right, later. See cbs. Also, can you put me some ice cream in the freezer? Thanks. Peace. People forget they're on tv.

[Coach]

It's amazing, dude. It's amazing how bad it's been.

[Ray]

I don't want the money. If it's good for your game, keep me. What?

[Coach]

What? Say something bad about these people. Like, rip them a new one.

[Ray]

Hey, are you tired of that person using the bathroom?

[Coach]

Are you tired of them spreading lies? Like, I mean, they told me that you were trying to vote me out, that you were trying to do this. I mean, like, oh, my gosh.

[Ray]

Or like, you go in the diary room, be like, guys, I'm going to make up a lie that the one of the guys came on to me. Actually, that's a bad lie.

[Coach]

That's about. That's. That's inappropriate. That's actually. Yeah, yeah. But Veronica, on Friday spot, I'll have the answer to you. I don't know how you do payments either. Supposedly it's supposed to be right there, but I don't see it. So I don't know. I will figure it out.

[Ray]

Guys, when you go in the diary room, tell CBS in America, be like, hey, I'm going to make up a huge lie that one of these guys tried to grab my ass.

[Coach]

No, no, because that ruins their reputation nationally. That. That's not good on TV to do that.

[Ray]

Hey, I didn't think it out fully.

[Coach]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ray]

All right, all right, all right.

[Coach]

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[Ray]

Well, with more towers and their signal.

[Coach]

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[Coach]

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[Coach]

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[Ray]

Only murders in the Building Official Podcast is now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney. Join host Michael Cyril Creighton behind the Scenes to talk all things Arconia with Steve Martin, Martin Short, Selena Gomez and more. Actors, writers and crew from Season five. Watch and listen to the new podcast series Only Murders in the Building Official Podcast now streaming with new episodes Tuesdays. Listen wherever you get your podcasts and don't miss Only Murders in the Building streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney plus for bundle subscribers Terms apply.

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