THURS PT 1: We Test Our Ears + Real Or Fake Job Game + Update On Lunchbox's Testicle...Better Or Worse? + Wife Having Issue With Husband's Guy Trip

Summary

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The Bobby Bones Show – Detailed Summary

Episode Title: THURS PT 1: We Test Our Ears + Real Or Fake Job Game + Update On Lunchbox's Testicle...Better Or Worse? + Wife Having Issue With Husband's Guy Trip
Date: January 8, 2026
Host: Bobby Bones with Amy, Lunchbox, Eddie, plus callers

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bobby Bones Show blends the show’s signature humor, banter, and personal updates with interactive segments. The team discusses a spike in flu cases, debates the intelligence of dogs, plays a “Real or Fake Job” game, discusses listener mail about marriage and trust, gives health updates (including a comedic but real situation about Lunchbox’s swollen testicle), tries hearing and lung capacity tests on-air, and ends with relationship dilemmas, odd news stories, and spontaneous jokes.

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Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. The Super Flu & Sick Days

[00:20 – 03:05]

• Topic: The "super flu" is at its highest level in 25 years (up 6.7%), and every show member shares strategies on staying healthy (wash hands, avoid sick people, quarantine).
• Bobby returns after an illness, saying he only had “drainage.”
• Playful banter about Bobby’s frequent illnesses, despite his claims otherwise:
  • “He’s sick 10, 12, 15 times a year.” – Lunchbox [02:26]
  • “I never got strep. I have no tonsils.” – Bobby Bones [02:39]

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2. How Smart Are Dogs?

[03:19 – 04:45]

• Study: Dogs reportedly understand an average of 165 human words, with the most intelligent breeds reaching 250.
• Crew shares how many words their own dogs know; Amy thought it was “all about tone,” while Lunchbox claims his dog knows 12 words.
  • “The average dog can understand 165 words.” – Lunchbox [03:50]
  • “I barely know 250 words.” – Lunchbox [04:11]

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3. America's Reading Habits

[05:28 – 06:51]

• Statistic: 60% of Americans finished at least one book in 2025; 40% read zero.
• Eddie confesses he read “zero” books last year.
• Lunchbox talks about his unique speed reading habit:
  • “I just read like the first few letters and I’m pretty right 99% of the time.” – Lunchbox [06:32]

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4. Regretful Career Choices (“Jobs They Turned Down”)

[07:08 – 08:13]

• Pop Culture: Jack Black turned down the role of Syndrome in The Incredibles (Jason Lee ended up voicing it).
• Bobby shares he passed on being a Masked Singer judge, choosing American Idol/Dancing with the Stars instead.
• The group reflects on job moves/regrets.

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5. Listener Mail: Husband’s "Guy Trip" Turning Wild

[08:13 – 12:46]

• Mailbag: A wife writes that her husband’s guys' trip has grown unexpectedly raucous (more people, clubbing, bottle service). She’s uncomfortable and seeks advice.
• Amy: If the trust is there, let him go; if not, discuss openly.
  • “If you trust your husband, then you trust your husband.” – Amy [09:38]
• Lunchbox: Suggests having a conversation without being accusatory to avoid resentment.
  • “I don’t think this makes you insecure. I think you have questions…” – Lunchbox [10:38]
• Roleplay with Amy and Lunchbox simulating the conversation (humorous Instagram "handle" misunderstanding) [12:03 – 12:11].

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6. Real or Fake Job Game

[13:41 – 20:31]

• Hosted by Lunchbox, players guess whether odd job descriptions are real or made-up.
• Notable jobs discussed:
  • Professional sleeper (real)
  • Water slide tester (real)
  • Pet food taster (fake)
  • Ghost realtor (fake)
  • Professional mourner (real)
  • Netflix tagger (job to watch and categorize shows; real)
  • Professional apologizer (fake)
  • Cloud shape interpreter (fake)
  • Odor judge (real)
  • Snake milker (real)
  • Dog surfing coach (real; Amy wins the game)
• Memorable exchange:
  • "Now, longest. A professional apologizer..." – Lunchbox [18:22]
  • "That's a PR firm!" – Bobby Bones [18:48]

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7. Update: Lunchbox’s Swollen Testicle Health Scare

[20:44 – 25:41]

• Recap: Listeners and cast urge Bobby to be honest with his doctor about swelling/discomfort.
• Bobby updates: Swelling fluctuates during the day; doctor moved up his appointment after Bobby finally disclosed all symptoms.
  • “It’s big during the day, and then when I go to sleep, it deflates.” – Bobby Bones [22:19]
• AI medical assistant (voice) suggests possible diagnoses (varicocele, hydrocele, hernia) and encourages a real doctor’s visit, delighting the team with the idea of Bobby as "Testicle Man" [25:14].
• The group jokes about best/worst-case scenarios.

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8. Story: Allergic-to-Husband Genes & Infertility

[26:45 – 28:48]

• Clip: Woman claims she and her husband’s genes are “allergic to each other,” blocking pregnancy, as discovered by a test from Greece.
• Crew is fascinated and skeptical:
  • “Their genes are allergic to each other. So they can’t have a kid…” – Lunchbox [27:25]
  • “I wonder if this is real.” – Eddie [27:51]
• Amy relates it to her own infertility experience.
• Discussion about options (adoption) and relationship dynamics.

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9. Celebrity Divorce: Kidman & Urban

[29:51 – 30:49]

• Lunchbox updates listeners on Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban finalizing their divorce after 19 years, waiving all support; compares Amy’s own divorce timeline.
  • “19 years is a good run.” – Bobby Bones [30:15]
  • “Good run, Amy.” – Lunchbox [30:44]

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10. Viral Story: Tipping a Flight Attendant with a Barf Bag

[30:49 – 32:17]

• A flight attendant received a $208 tip crammed into a barf bag, helping with holiday stress.
• Debate about whether it is allowed to tip flight attendants (some airlines discourage it).
  • “You can tip them with a sincere thank you.” – Lunchbox [32:10]

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11. Hearing & Lung Capacity Tests (On-Air Experiments)

[32:18 – 38:40]

• Hearing Test: Raymondo plays increasing high-pitched frequencies; the gang raises hands when they can no longer hear. Amy’s “hearing age” is worst in the group at 35 years old.
  • “So I’m the elderly.” – Amy [34:25]
• Lung Test: Hold breath as long as possible. Most tap out around 1 min; Amy and Eddie compete, Morgan jokes about COVID aftereffects.
  • “I was out at 30 seconds. My lungs are horrible. Ever since COVID like I’m like a smoker.” – Morgan [38:23]

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12. Morning Corny “Joke Blitz”

[39:32 – 41:56]

• Amy quizzes the team with as many jokes/riddles (“Morning Corny”) as possible in 90 seconds.
• They set a (possibly disputed) record with 5 correct answers.
  • Q: “Where do zombies like to go swimming?”
  • A: “The Dead Sea.” [39:48]

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13. News: Crowbar Road Rage / Gift Returns

[42:30 – 47:52]

• Bonehead Story: Woman in Maryland escalates road rage by confronting another driver with a crowbar and then a gun; crew marvels at people keeping crowbars in their car.
• Gift Return Debate: Eddie contemplates returning a $200 ice maker gift his wife doesn't want, despite using it several times.
  • Amy and Lunchbox argue he should buy a replacement gift.
  • “So now she’s out a gift.” – Amy [46:47]

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Notable Quotes & Fun Moments

• “If you trust your husband, then you trust your husband.” – Amy [09:38]
• “It’s big during the day, and then when I go to sleep, it deflates.” – Bobby Bones on his testicle [22:19]
• “I barely know 250 words.” – Lunchbox, on dogs’ vocabulary [04:11]
• “Now, longest. A professional apologizer...” – Lunchbox, joking through a fake job [18:22]
• “Testicle man it is.” – Lunchbox, after joking about Bobby’s health [25:39]
• “So I’m the elderly.” – Amy, after the hearing test result [34:25]
• “So now she’s out a gift.” – Amy, about Eddie’s gift return [46:47]

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Highlighted Segments (Timestamps)

• 00:20 – Discussing the super flu spike & Bobby’s health
• 03:19 – How many words does your dog understand?
• 05:28 – Reading habits in America
• 07:08 – Jobs celebrities turned down
• 08:13–12:46 – Mailbag: Husband’s evolving guy trip
• 13:41–20:31 – “Real or Fake Job” game
• 20:44–25:41 – Bobby’s testicle update & medical advice
• 26:45–28:48 – "Allergic genes" & infertility
• 29:51–30:49 – Kidman & Urban divorce update
• 32:18–38:40 – Hearing & lung tests
• 39:32–41:56 – Morning Corny lightning round
• 42:30–47:52 – Road rage story; gift return conundrum

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Tone & Language

The show is full of back-and-forth banter, light roasting, playful disputes, and wild but relatable confessions. The segment flow is fast-paced, spontaneous, and highly interactive, including listeners’ stories and team role-play skits. Topics blend pop culture, personal stories, science trivia, and “real life” dilemmas with the same “friends hanging out” vibe.

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For New Listeners

If you didn’t catch the show, this episode is a great example of how the Bobby Bones team can turn everyday events – from colds, weird jobs, and medical concerns to relationships – into compelling, lighthearted radio. Expect running jokes (“Testicle Man”), self-deprecating humor (Amy’s self-proclaimed “elderly” hearing), and a strong sense that the cast is really just a group of friends ribbing, supporting, and challenging each other in real time.

Transcript

[Amy]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.

[Bobby Bones]

Here we go.

[Lunchbox]

Come on, Bobby.

[Caller 1]

Transmitting across America.

[Lunchbox]

Welcome to Thursday's show, Morning Studio.

[Bobby Bones]

Morning.

[Lunchbox]

Second day in a row we're going to talk about the super flu. It's the highest level in the United States in 25 years. So we talked about the variant yesterday, subclade K. But it is by far, in the last 10 years, the highest and over 6.7% rise. So everybody's getting hit with the flu. So what do you do when everybody gets hit with the flu? You wash your hands?

[Amy]

Yeah, you wash your hands. Maybe stay away from people and you.

[Lunchbox]

Stay away from people.

[Eddie]

Quarantine.

[Lunchbox]

And you stay away from people that are sick now. Lunchbox was gone yesterday. He came in for me and it was like, go home. And now he's back today. Do you have the super flu?

[Bobby Bones]

No. No super flu here, man. I am feeling good. I am great. It is so good to be here, guys. Thanks for having me.

[Lunchbox]

You're not a guest.

[Eddie]

How does he sound? Like he can't talk. One day he came.

[Lunchbox]

Hey, today's like, I'm back.

[Bobby Bones]

Look, I am telling you, there is something that happens. It's like four times a year.

[Lunchbox]

No, it's like ten times a year.

[Bobby Bones]

No, no. Did I just wa this specific thing?

[Amy]

Maybe there's other things.

[Lunchbox]

He gets mouth chlamydia. He gets everything.

[Amy]

And it's just infection of the throat.

[Eddie]

Thank you, Amy.

[Lunchbox]

Whatever it is, he got it.

[Bobby Bones]

But it was just drainage. And I went to the doctor, they gave me a steroid pack, and I popped all those first aid pills and boom. And I didn't talk all day. That was it.

[Lunchbox]

And everybody. Everybody gets sick. Just one of us on the show is sick every three weeks.

[Bobby Bones]

But it's not sick. I don't. It's. I don't know what causes drainage. I have no idea what that is. Because they looked at me, they're like, all I see is some drainage, and there's a lot of it. And that's probably what's doing.

[Lunchbox]

They didn't go, hey, go watch YouTube.

[Bobby Bones]

No, they didn't. This doctor did not. But I pretty much told them, hey, I'm going to need a steroid pack. And they're like, we'll give you a steroid pack. Yeah, that's what I told you.

[Lunchbox]

Eddie was convinced you had strep.

[Eddie]

Yeah. Because Instagram had a strep test over the break, and I'm assuming one of his kids had strep because he didn't come in here. I had strip over the break.

[Amy]

I mean, honestly, strep is what he has five times a year.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Lunchbox]

So you guys think I'm kidding? Not you guys here. Everybody listening. He's sick 10, 12, 15 times a year.

[Bobby Bones]

I don't think I missed a day last year from.

[Eddie]

Yeah, that's the problem.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah. Other people get sick. Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

And I don't have. I never got strep. I have no tonsils, and so I don't get strep. Like, that's out of my vocabulary. I got it, like, right when I first had kids, but now I am back to being immune. Yes, my kids had to strip over the break, but I am good to go.

[Lunchbox]

So today you're good.

[Bobby Bones]

I am good, don't I? So great.

[Eddie]

Normal.

[Lunchbox]

I don't want you to have the superflu. Is my point.

[Amy]

I don't move it back to the super flu. I guess I am concerned with the. How popular it is.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah. Very popular. 25 years, celebrity.

[Amy]

Somebody's bound to get it.

[Eddie]

Like one of us, you mean?

[Amy]

Yeah. Like, I'm kind of proud of us. Like, nobody's gotten it.

[Eddie]

Great. She jinxed us.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah.

[Lunchbox]

The other story was, how many words do you think a dog knows? How many words you think your dog knows? Huh?

[Amy]

Sit. Stay. No, sit down.

[Lunchbox]

Well, sits twice.

[Amy]

I know. Bed. 5. 5.

[Lunchbox]

I would have guessed about 12. That my dogs for sure know what it is. Not tone. Not use. I can use my body, and they'll go. I can point at things. They'll go to it. I would have thought 12.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Lunchbox]

The average dog can understand 165 words.

[Eddie]

No chance.

[Bobby Bones]

No way.

[Amy]

Understand, like what?

[Bobby Bones]

What?

[Amy]

They're having conversations.

[Lunchbox]

From the American Psychological Association. Dogs have a shocking ability to understand human words. And more than you think. They also say there are certain dogs that are the top percentage of canine intellect. They can understand about 250 words. I barely know 250 words.

[Eddie]

What kind of dogs are those?

[Lunchbox]

Experts say the key is training them young and using simple words and not sentences to improve their vocabulary.

[Eddie]

Well, yeah.

[Lunchbox]

Amy thought I was shooting high when I said 12 for my dog.

[Amy]

I did, because I was thinking, like. And I thought for sure it was all really about tone. Like I thought you were gonna say, actually, they understand no words. It's all about tone. Because I feel like I could say bed, but also maybe go dead. You know, she would go to the bed.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Amy]

It's like, tone. Go to bed.

[Eddie]

I'm happy.

[Amy]

Go to dad.

[Lunchbox]

I'm mad. My dog's for sure. No words.

[Eddie]

What do you Mean, like what words?

[Lunchbox]

Ball, dog, crate.

[Amy]

They know dog food.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah. There's another dog.

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah. So you say, go with the dog.

[Lunchbox]

No, no, dog. Don't go.

[Amy]

Oh, oh, yeah.

[Lunchbox]

Like no one's somewhere, and I don't want him to run to the other dog, like to go jump on him.

[Bobby Bones]

Dog.

[Lunchbox]

That means don't go.

[Eddie]

Oh, well, maybe they do, but I.

[Lunchbox]

Don'T want one at a time. But like 12, 150 is crazy. Heel. Who's who? Who has said that since the 70s? You guys watching Gunsmoke and yelling, heel.

[Amy]

She doesn't listen. But I still say it. Like, when we're walking, I'm like, heal.

[Lunchbox]

I'll say stop. Six in 10Americans say they read at least one book in 2025. So it's pretty good.

[Amy]

I wrote a book last night.

[Lunchbox]

A whole book?

[Amy]

No, no, couple chapters.

[Lunchbox]

Okay, so 6 and 10. So they finished a book, one book last year. What do you think the percentages of people that read zero books in America?

[Amy]

Does listening to audiobook count?

[Lunchbox]

I would say no, not in this. It's actually reading.

[Bobby Bones]

Oh.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, yeah.

[Amy]

Yai. Well, now we're.

[Lunchbox]

The answer's 40%. 40% of Americans read zero books in 2025. So, Eddie, how many books did you read in 2025?

[Eddie]

Zero. I'm part of the 40%. 2024, zero.

[Amy]

But now I want to know, did you listen to any?

[Eddie]

No, I listened to the Willie Nelson one, but that was like two years ago. That didn't count.

[Bobby Bones]

What about the principals? One that Bobby got you, that was.

[Amy]

Oh, no, the four agreements.

[Eddie]

It's here somewhere.

[Lunchbox]

I'm not even book shaming people. I just. I'm curious.

[Eddie]

I just don't read.

[Lunchbox]

I. I go through spells a few months at a time where I don't read anything, and then I go through spells where I just am consuming books. It just depends. I'm not judging you.

[Amy]

You read really fast, though.

[Lunchbox]

I do read f. Sometimes I substitute words. I just read like the first few letters and I'm pretty right 99% of the time, but there are times where I'm not. It's not a trained thing. It's not a speed reading thing. But I just. Generally when I read, I read just the first few letters of every word and just assume that's the word. Works out pretty good. Most of the time.

[Amy]

Most of the time.

[Lunchbox]

But sometimes I'm reading commercials and I didn't even say the right word because I didn't read the whole word.

[Amy]

Or like earlier, you did something and it was 1990. Or like, they've been around since the 1900s.

[Lunchbox]

That's exactly what happened since 1900. I didn't read the 9. 0. I just read 1900. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do that.

[Amy]

And you're like, 1900 sounds better. It's more legit.

[Lunchbox]

And then the guy's like, another company hasn't been around since 1900. Jack Black talks about the movie that he turned down that bothers him most. It was the Incredibles. He was offered the part of Syndrome. I haven't seen the Incredibles. Is it good?

[Bobby Bones]

Really good.

[Eddie]

Yeah. It's the Super Bowl. The superhero family.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, that's really fun.

[Lunchbox]

Syndrome's the main bad guy. Yeah. Who ended up being them? That voice. Is it somebody famous? Because I. I don't know. But it's fun to hear people talk about the jobs they either didn't get or they turned down. But Jack Black says Syndrome was. Was the one that he missed. What do you got there? Who is it? It's Jason Lee from My name is Earl. Oh, yeah.

[Eddie]

Oh, big Jason Lee.

[Lunchbox]

Good gift for him. Glad Jack Black turned that down, huh? I had. The only thing that I ever, like, turned down was I was offered to be a judge on Masked Singer, but it was at the same time that was on American Idol and going on Dancing with the Stars. So I chose that over, and I think that was the right move. Yeah, I still think that was the right.

[Eddie]

Yeah, I think so.

[Lunchbox]

So that's the only good story. And then also, I was gonna record I drive your truck, but I gave it to Lee Bryce.

[Eddie]

Yeah, that would have been awesome.

[Lunchbox]

That's the one I regret not recording. Yeah, I got me. Hello, Bobby Bones. My husband has a guys trip coming up. Started out pretty harmless with just a few old friends going away for the weekend. But the trip keeps growing. More guys are getting added, the destination changed to somewhere much more party heavy, and now they're going to a club. And I heard bottle service. I trust my husband. He's never given me a reason not to. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't uncomfortable with how the trip started and how the trip is now. Do I chill out and let him go have fun with his friends? Or is it fair to say something new before resentment builds? Sign. Wife trying to be cool about it. You're. You've been a wife trying to be cool about it. What do you think?

[Amy]

Yeah, I mean, things evolve, so that's difficult if you've accepted one version, and then it's turning into Something that is significantly different than it started out as. So I see that that's difficult. But overall, if you trust your husband, I think we should be okay. Now, if there's something that has led you to not trust him, then a conversation can be had. But can she really ask him to just, like, not go?

[Lunchbox]

No, I think you nailed the first part. If she trusts her husband, then she trusts her husband. But I think just going, hey, I'm just gonna chill out. I do think it does build a bit of resentment. It's not nothing, but it's not something you need to get mad at. I think you can conversate about it without questioning it. And it's such a. It's a.

[Amy]

It's a fine line.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, very much so. There's not a real red flag here. It's not like they're going to a nudie club, right?

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

What's wrong with bottle service?

[Lunchbox]

Nothing. I think it's the new guys. And if he has no history of cheating or no history of nefarious acts, I think you have to consider that. But you. I think you can say to him, hey, man, this trip has gotten a little crazy. Do you know these? Like, who are these guys? You trust them. Sounds kind of crazy. I think you can bring it up, be precious about it and not question it, but I think you have to let him do his thing and don't be dramatic about it. It's a fine line.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Lunchbox]

I just don't want her to be home and be resentful and take it out on him when he didn't do anything wrong because she didn't voice her concerns. But also, it's not a big concern. So much so that you want him to stay home. So you're not wrong for feeling this way. First of all, I don't think this makes you insecure. I think you have questions. I think you can ask them without making him feel defensive about it, and he should go.

[Amy]

And I think he'll understand that it's valid that you may feel differently if you knew these guys well. And it's so. It's fair. You don't know them well.

[Lunchbox]

So you're just curious if he's not defensive about. If you can. If you can ask him questions and not make him defensive. I think all the questions are fair.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Lunchbox]

If he gets offensive, there's gonna be a fight.

[Amy]

So you just have to have just a curious tone.

[Lunchbox]

How'd that tone go? Give me one of those.

[Amy]

I don't know. I'm thinking, who knows? I'M talking to the queen of like. I. I get. I was so defensive all the time.

[Lunchbox]

You're the wife. I'm going on this trip in a couple days. You, we're eating dinner.

[Amy]

So who's all going again?

[Lunchbox]

Well, you know, Mike and Sean are going, obviously, but I don't know.

[Eddie]

They have, they have.

[Lunchbox]

Mark is coming. I don't. I don't really know Mark, so.

[Amy]

How? Well, I mean, like, have.

[Lunchbox]

Why are you questioning me so much?

[Bobby Bones]

I want to do more.

[Amy]

Do they have Instagram?

[Bobby Bones]

Oh, boy.

[Eddie]

Oh, you start stalking them.

[Amy]

What are their handles?

[Lunchbox]

Are you on a walkie talkie, ma'?

[Bobby Bones]

Am?

[Amy]

Wait, isn't that what it's called? The handle? The Instagram handle?

[Lunchbox]

Is it a handle?

[Amy]

The at.

[Lunchbox]

I would just say what's their name on Instagram?

[Amy]

I think it's a handle.

[Lunchbox]

What's your 20 over there?

[Eddie]

Breaker, breaker.

[Amy]

I'm doing a nickel, nickel down the highway.

[Lunchbox]

I don't. I don't think you're wrong for having questions, but I don't think you need to be accusatory with him because he's not doing anything wrong. He should still be able to go. Unless you hear of something they're doing this bad. That's. That's my final statement on this.

[Amy]

And you want to know their Instagram and their wives, their handle or their significant others? Do they have kids?

[Lunchbox]

There's some nuance with this, and I.

[Eddie]

Sound like they have kids.

[Lunchbox]

I think you can approach it with nuance, but I think it's okay to ask questions. But just make sure he doesn't feel like he's being accused of something. Now listen, if he cheated in the past. Oh, you ain't going, buddy.

[Amy]

Well, so he's like never allowed to go?

[Eddie]

Not to model, service all the boys.

[Amy]

Because that's the point, I guess. It's not a club club like a strip club. It's a club.

[Lunchbox]

Clubs and bottle service. Okay, let us know how that goes. You're not wrong in how you feel. That's the key. You're not wrong in how you feel. You can hit us in the mailbag. All you have to do is email us. Mailbagobbybones.com Close it up.

[Amy]

Quieres mejor Internet Cox Internet De tresintas megas tiene las velocidades rapidas y com fiables que buscas perfecto para streaming y gaming y tres. Mobile Wi fi. A cox mobile gigant.

[Lunchbox]

I'll give you a job title and a description. Tell me if it's a real job. Or if it's fake job that we made up. Okay, some of these are real jobs. Some of these are fake jobs. Number one, a professional sleeper. Someone paid to sleep in labs, hotels, or showrooms to test mattresses, pillows, room noise and overall sleep quality. Salary, $55,000 per year.

[Eddie]

I'm in.

[Amy]

I'm in.

[Bobby Bones]

Oh, I'm in for the win. Who? Yeah, there's one word that threw me off on there, Amy.

[Amy]

Yes.

[Lunchbox]

Real. Real lunchbox.

[Bobby Bones]

You said showroom. I don't think you sleep in the showroom. So it's fake.

[Lunchbox]

Eddie.

[Eddie]

I'm gonna go real job.

[Lunchbox]

It's real. So that is a full time position where they test different matches, a lot of different brands. Next up, a water slide tester. A person who rides water slides repeatedly to evaluate safety, speed, splash impact, and overall ride experience. Estimated salary, 50 to $60,000 per year. Real job, big job.

[Bobby Bones]

I'm in for the win.

[Amy]

I'm in.

[Lunchbox]

Amy, Fake lunchbox.

[Bobby Bones]

That's fake.

[Lunchbox]

Eddie.

[Eddie]

Sign me up, but I think it's fake.

[Lunchbox]

It's real. Oh, there is a job for a water slide tester.

[Amy]

Man, we got caught.

[Lunchbox]

Next up, a line stand in. A person hired to wait in long lines for products, events, or court filings and hold the spot for a client. $30 an hour.

[Eddie]

I'm in.

[Bobby Bones]

I'm in for the win.

[Amy]

I'm in.

[Lunchbox]

Amy.

[Amy]

Yeah, we've heard of this, right? It's real lunchbox.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, we've talked about it. It's real.

[Lunchbox]

Eddie.

[Eddie]

I'm going to say it's still fake.

[Lunchbox]

It is real.

[Eddie]

I'm stubborn about it. We talked about it. I still think it's fake.

[Lunchbox]

We were fake when we're talking about it. Yeah, that's real. A pet food taster. Someone who samples dog or cat food to ensure flavor consistency before it goes to market. Human taster of pet food. Oh, salary 55 to $58,000 per year.

[Bobby Bones]

I'm in.

[Eddie]

I'm in.

[Amy]

I'm in.

[Lunchbox]

Amy. Real lunchbox.

[Bobby Bones]

I mean, disgusting, but it's real.

[Lunchbox]

Eddie.

[Eddie]

Now why would you want a human to taste it? Dogs do that. It's fake.

[Lunchbox]

It is fake.

[Bobby Bones]

Oh.

[Lunchbox]

A ghost realtor. A licensed real estate agent who specializes exclusively in selling or renting homes they're allegedly working haunted, matching buyers with the right kind of spirits. It's commission based, but the estimated salary is 90 to $130,000 per year.

[Eddie]

I'm in.

[Bobby Bones]

I'm in for the win.

[Amy]

I'm in.

[Lunchbox]

Amy, a ghost realtor.

[Amy]

I mean, sure, it's real. Cuz. Somebody maybe does that.

[Lunchbox]

Lunchbox.

[Bobby Bones]

Fake.

[Lunchbox]

Eddie.

[Eddie]

I'm going to go real.

[Lunchbox]

It's fake.

[Bobby Bones]

I'm back.

[Amy]

Dang it.

[Lunchbox]

Get two more. A professional mourner. Someone paid to attend funerals and visibly grieve as a part of cultural or ceremonial traditions. 80 to $120 per event.

[Bobby Bones]

This is tough.

[Amy]

I'm in.

[Bobby Bones]

Wow, this is a weird one, man.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, right now. 222. That's a score.

[Eddie]

I'm in.

[Bobby Bones]

I'm in for the win.

[Lunchbox]

Amy. A professional mourner.

[Amy]

Weird but real.

[Lunchbox]

Lunchbox.

[Bobby Bones]

No. You already have people that are gonna be there mourning. You don't need a fake person. That is fake.

[Lunchbox]

Eddie.

[Eddie]

I feel like we've talked about this before, but I still went fake.

[Lunchbox]

It's real.

[Caller 1]

Yes.

[Eddie]

I knew it.

[Lunchbox]

One more, Amy. If you get it, you win a Netflix tagger. An employee who watches shows and labels them with detailed tags like tone themes and emotional beats. 55 to $70,000 per year. A Netflix tagger.

[Amy]

Tone themes and what?

[Lunchbox]

Emotional beats. Because they have those weird things, like sad. Yeah. Happy feeling. Like a description. They put those.

[Amy]

Yeah, yeah. They put, like, cerebral.

[Eddie]

Okay, I'm in. This is a big one, Amy.

[Amy]

It is a big one.

[Lunchbox]

Netflix.

[Amy]

What's the celery?

[Lunchbox]

$70,000 per year.

[Amy]

Okay, I'm in.

[Bobby Bones]

I'm in for the win, Eddie.

[Eddie]

I went real job.

[Lunchbox]

Lunchbox Man.

[Bobby Bones]

I didn't even understand what the job was, but I put real. Cause I didn't understand it.

[Lunchbox]

Amy, what'd you play?

[Amy]

I think it's fake. Surely.

[Lunchbox]

AI.

[Bobby Bones]

Come on. Overtime overdrive.

[Lunchbox]

Okay, let's see, let's see.

[Bobby Bones]

Oh, lives.

[Lunchbox]

Now, longest. A professional apologizer description is someone hired to issue apologies on behalf of companies or individuals during public controversies. A professional apologizer. Salary 70 to $95,000 per year.

[Eddie]

I'm in.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, I mean, I'm in for the win, Amy.

[Amy]

Okay, I'm in.

[Lunchbox]

What do you have?

[Amy]

Well, I didn't know they were called this, but Real lunchbox.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, that's a PR firm. Firm. That's real.

[Lunchbox]

It's not a PR firm. Eddie.

[Eddie]

I feel like we've talked about this. I went real.

[Lunchbox]

It's fake.

[Eddie]

Oh, my.

[Lunchbox]

Next up, a cloud shape interpreter. A person employed to analyze cloud formations and provide symbolic or emotional interpretations for brands or creatives.

[Eddie]

Can you repeat that one more time?

[Lunchbox]

Cloud shape interpreter. A person employed to analyze cloud formations and provide symbolic or emotional interpretations for brands or creatives.

[Bobby Bones]

In for the win.

[Eddie]

I'm in.

[Amy]

I'm in.

[Lunchbox]

Amy. Fake lunchbox.

[Bobby Bones]

Fake Eddie.

[Eddie]

That's real.

[Lunchbox]

It is fake. Eddie's eliminated.

[Bobby Bones]

Yes. Sudden death.

[Lunchbox]

An odor judge. A trained evaluator who smells products, food, or materials to assess scent quality and freshness. Salary, $48,000 a year. An odor judge.

[Amy]

I'm in.

[Bobby Bones]

In for the win.

[Lunchbox]

Lunchbox.

[Bobby Bones]

Real.

[Lunchbox]

Amy, real. It's real.

[Bobby Bones]

How about we buzz in this time?

[Lunchbox]

Next up, a snake milker. What? A specialist who extracts venom from snakes for antivenom production and medical research. Salary, $62,000 per year.

[Amy]

Okay, I'm in.

[Lunchbox]

Amy real lunchbox.

[Bobby Bones]

That has to be real.

[Lunchbox]

Real.

[Amy]

Oh, my gosh.

[Lunchbox]

A dog surfing coach. A trainer who teaches dogs how to surf for competitions, commercials, or special events.

[Bobby Bones]

Whoa, that's cool.

[Lunchbox]

120 bucks per session.

[Bobby Bones]

I'm in for the win.

[Amy]

I'm in.

[Lunchbox]

Amy real lunchbox.

[Bobby Bones]

That is so fake.

[Lunchbox]

It is real. Amy is our winner. You guessed right the most.

[Bobby Bones]

Oh, no.

[Amy]

I knew the dog surfer was.

[Bobby Bones]

No, you didn't.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, but that doesn't mean there's a job. And also, did he really surf?

[Amy]

That was way back in the day, before AI.

[Lunchbox]

So I'm gonna play a voicemail. This is in relation to Lunchbox. He's had some weird pain, and the doctors keep saying, we don't know what it is. Go watch YouTube. And one of his testicles got really big. We haven't. We haven't done a testicle check since we got back from break, but I want to play this voicemail first.

[Caller 1]

My husband was diagnosed with testicular cancer, and he was in a very similar situation as Lunchbox. At first, he just noticed the swelling, called his primary care provider, and they couldn't fit him in for months. But the swelling got worse. I got really nervous. I pushed him. He called them back. He is good now. But all that's being said is just be honest with your doctor. With your symptoms. They will get you in much, much quicker. And once they. The severity of it. So best of luck.

[Lunchbox]

You weren't honest with your doctor because you didn't tell him about the swollen testicle.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, I kind of told you guys. Weird.

[Lunchbox]

Not your doctor.

[Bobby Bones]

In a vulnerable moment, I let that out of the bag.

[Lunchbox]

So you have an appointment still on the 12th?

[Bobby Bones]

On the 12th.

[Lunchbox]

Any update? How is it? Is it still swollen?

[Bobby Bones]

Still swollen and still, like, if I go running with the kids in the backyard or whatever, or try to chase them down the sidewalk, it gets uncomfortable pretty quick.

[Eddie]

The testicle or the.

[Bobby Bones]

The testicle.

[Lunchbox]

Does your stomach still hurt?

[Bobby Bones]

I haven't really let loose, I guess, is what you'd Say so. I haven't really tested it. Just running, like, a couple houses. I don't think the pain never hurt in the side. It's when I, like, run, like, a mile, two miles. That's when I can really feel it.

[Lunchbox]

But it hurts in your testicle still?

[Bobby Bones]

Yes.

[Eddie]

Is it getting bigger?

[Bobby Bones]

Well, see, here's the thing. It's big during the day, and then when I go to sleep, it deflates.

[Amy]

How do you know you're sleeping?

[Bobby Bones]

Because when I wake up in the morning, it's not as big as big.

[Amy]

So when you're. Maybe when you're lying down.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah.

[Lunchbox]

And then, like, during the day, also not moving.

[Bobby Bones]

Right.

[Amy]

During the day, the blood gets flowing.

[Bobby Bones]

Yes. That's when the. That's when the inflammation, or whatever you want to call it, happens, the swelling. So I got a call from the doctor asking me a couple questions, like, we got to get you in sooner. Oh, really? Yeah. So I'm going the 9th.

[Eddie]

Tomorrow sooner. Okay.

[Bobby Bones]

Well, that's what he said. He was like, we need to get you in here sooner. I'm like, oh, wow. We're gonna go in, like, real quick. It's like the ninth.

[Amy]

I'm like, okay, still sooner. Hey, yeah.

[Lunchbox]

Let me ask my assistant, who knows all based on your symptoms, what it could be.

[Bobby Bones]

He's gonna say hernia. Yeah, everybody says hernia.

[Lunchbox]

Well, then maybe there's something.

[Bobby Bones]

Several. The doctors, they don't have a clue.

[Lunchbox]

Hey, so have a question. One of my friends has a sharp pain in his stomach, and sometimes that goes away, and he has a testicle that is swollen, and that one testicle, he says deflates at night. So it's swollen all day and then deflates at night and then re. Swells in the morning. What would you say that is if you had to guess?

[Caller 2]

Well, I'm definitely not a doctor, but that combination of symptoms, like having a swollen testicle that seems to fluctuate in size and a sharp stomach pain could hint at a few different things. It might be something like a varicoseal, which is basically enlarged veins, or it could even be something like an intermittent issue with a hernia or some kind of fluid buildup, like a hydrocele. But honestly, it's one of those things where a medical professional really should take a lope. So if your friend hasn't seen a doctor, that's definitely the best move just to get a real diagnosis.

[Lunchbox]

He didn't tell the doctor for a long time that one of his testicles was swollen because he was embarrassed. What do you want to say to him.

[Caller 2]

Yeah, I totally get that it can be awkward to bring that up, but I just reassure him that doctors have seen and heard it all. There's really no need to be embarrassed because for them it's just another part of the job. And the most important thing is just making sure he's healthy. So I'd encourage him to just be open about it. And it's definitely worth getting checked out.

[Lunchbox]

If you had to put a percentage on it, what do you think it is of him dying?

[Caller 2]

Oh, gosh. I mean, I definitely wouldn't put a percentage on something like that. You know, I think it's really important to just reassure him that most of these things are very treatable once a doctor takes a look. So rather than worrying about worst case scenarios, I just say let's focus on getting him to a professional. That's the best way to get peace of mind.

[Lunchbox]

Is there a best case scenario where this could actually be a superpower and somehow he has a magical testicle?

[Caller 2]

Well, I absolutely love the optimism in imagining a magical superpower scenario here. I mean, who wouldn't want a quirky superpower like that? But in reality, as fun as it is to imagine, it's probably more of a let's get it checked out and make sure everything's good kind of situation. But hey, if it turns out to be a superpower, I think we've got a whole comic book plot on our hands. So let's keep it hopeful, but also keep it practical.

[Lunchbox]

All right. Testicle man it is.

[Amy]

So is he going to go? Well, ask you lunchbox. Are you going to go to your appointment alone or do you need support?

[Bobby Bones]

No, I'll go alone.

[Eddie]

We can all go within the will.

[Lunchbox]

Loser goes with him.

[Bobby Bones]

Like, what do you mean go? Like, who else would go with me?

[Amy]

I don't know. Your wife? Like, I'm not sure. I. This has been an ongoing thing. Like, I didn't know how nervous you were.

[Eddie]

You got this.

[Lunchbox]

We're rooting for your testicle man.

[Bobby Bones]

Thank you, man. I mean, it's been a. It's been.

[Lunchbox]

What's worst case scenario? What's best case in your mind?

[Bobby Bones]

Oh, worst case is the. To the cancer. Right? I mean, that has to be the worst.

[Lunchbox]

Okay, what's best?

[Bobby Bones]

They can tell me what's wrong and it's just gonna be like, I don't injection or something and it's gonna go away.

[Lunchbox]

I went to pill, he went injection. He wants a little shot.

[Bobby Bones]

Well, like, you know what they do the with the players. What do you know they give them something like a quarter shot in your cortisone shot.

[Lunchbox]

Got it. That's best case.

[Bobby Bones]

I mean, because there's something wrong. They're not gonna just be like, oh, here's Advil and go away.

[Lunchbox]

They kind of did before.

[Bobby Bones]

Oh, they've been telling me a lot of things. I'll just YouTube it.

[Lunchbox]

Okay, so tomorrow you'll go tomorrow, maybe Friday show, have an answer on Monday.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah.

[Lunchbox]

And bring pictures.

[Bobby Bones]

What?

[Lunchbox]

Okay, this woman's allergic to her husband. I want to play this clip. Go ahead.

[Caller 3]

Finally decide to do a round of ivf. And unfortunately that round of IVF didn't work. And we were getting ready to go for a second round. And this at home Medical Blood testing, a company called Fertilisis. And they send you these tests in the mail and you give them blood vials. Went down to the pharmacy, got our bloods drawn, sent them overseas to Greece. And we ended up finding out that we have a genetic predisposition that makes me incompatible with Paul's DNA. And what it is, is when they come together, they kind of repel my genes. Kind of put the brakes on and.

[Amy]

Say, let's attack this.

[Lunchbox]

Their genes are allergic to each other. Whoa.

[Amy]

I've never heard of such a thing.

[Lunchbox]

That's from AT this morning. Their genes are allergic to each other, so they can't have a kid because when they get together, they run away from each other.

[Bobby Bones]

Weird.

[Lunchbox]

It's like two magnets. Like two north magnets.

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Lunchbox]

You can't push them together.

[Amy]

So what are they gonna do?

[Eddie]

I guess they can't.

[Bobby Bones]

Gotta break up.

[Lunchbox]

I know.

[Eddie]

You don't know you can adopt kids.

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Lunchbox]

I don't know what they're going to do. I just had never heard of that.

[Eddie]

I wonder if this is real. Like, what do you mean? I mean, I don't know. She mentioned Greece and like all this other stuff. So like, my mind's just like. I don't know. There's only one time I've ever heard this.

[Lunchbox]

So you don't know if they're telling the truth? Not.

[Eddie]

Not entirely, no. It sounds crazy.

[Lunchbox]

They sent in. Yeah, it's crazy.

[Amy]

You think there's a company in Greece, like, what do you do? One over on them?

[Lunchbox]

What do you do if that. This is the case?

[Amy]

This is very, very difficult.

[Lunchbox]

Does it depend on how much you want to have a kid? Like have. And if you do, you have to?

[Amy]

Yeah, I mean, let's. Like, I think that you. I think you said continue life together and you figure Out. Oh, this is opening another avenue. Like when I was married and we were trying to get pregnant, we realized, okay, we did. We never had this test done, but we did. There was actually no explanation as to why we couldn't get pregnant. Finally, we just thought, okay, well, we're gonna go the adoption route, so maybe that's what they'll do.

[Lunchbox]

I hope so. I hope they stay together. I hope. I just never heard of such thing. Eddie doesn't believe it.

[Eddie]

Not entirely convinced, but what if, like, this is Amy's situation.

[Lunchbox]

I think their personalities are allergic to teaching.

[Amy]

I mean, too late to find.

[Eddie]

That's why they got a divorce.

[Amy]

Our personalities were allergic.

[Lunchbox]

I'm saying that that was. No, I'm saying that was the divorce. More about that than your DNA being allergic to each other.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

Oh, Eddie, that's why you think they never got pregnant.

[Eddie]

Well, I'm talking like, yeah, this is the reason they didn't get pregnant. And then Amy, all of a sudden, I'm pregnant.

[Amy]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eddie]

Because it's a different DNA. Oh, that would be crazy.

[Amy]

Can I still have children? I don't know. Yeah, because I don't know if it was me or him, but I had all the tests done and, like, my fallopian tubes were fine.

[Lunchbox]

I guess I'm talking about age wise. Like, what's the percentage of women that are 44?

[Eddie]

Oh.

[Amy]

Oh, I think it still happens.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, I think it still happens, too, but I don't know.

[Eddie]

And guys can be very old, right?

[Amy]

Yes.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah. We need to shut guys down after they get to a certain point. We should just stop it. No more for you. No. Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban's divorce has been finalized.

[Eddie]

Oh.

[Lunchbox]

Yesterday we were predicting possibly they would get back together in our wild predictions for the year, but. And this doesn't mean that they won't. But speaking of divorce, they have finalized their divorce, agreeing to waive all child support, spousal support, and alimony. Their daughters will live with Kidman most of the year. And then it just goes through that 19 years of marriage. That's from page six.

[Bobby Bones]

It's a good run.

[Lunchbox]

19 years is a good run.

[Bobby Bones]

That's a good run.

[Lunchbox]

I think it's how you look at it. I don't know what happened that caused. There was a reason that it dissolved, but 19 years is a good run. Do you not agree? No.

[Amy]

19 years is a long time. I was just thinking in my head that, like, you know how New Year's Eve would have been my anniversary? That would have been our 19th year.

[Lunchbox]

Dang. You guys didn't even make a Keith Urban length.

[Amy]

We made it like, 17.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, that's a good run. Hey, good run, Amy.

[Amy]

17'S pretty good.

[Lunchbox]

Sorry. This is what you want. Good run. We agree. Good run.

[Bobby Bones]

Good job, Amy.

[Amy]

Thank you.

[Lunchbox]

Good run. A flight attendant was given a sealed barf bag with cash after passengers on a holiday flight pulled together a 208 tip for her. This is a cool story. The gesture came at a meaningful time as she had been stressed about finances and worried about affording Christmas gifts for her parents. But every passenger or most passengers on the flight, they passed you on a barf bag and put a dollar, two bucks, three bucks in it.

[Eddie]

See, I thought this wasn't acceptable. Like, you can't tip flight attendants.

[Lunchbox]

You can't tip flight attendants.

[Eddie]

Oh, no. I tried this, like, years ago. I think we talked about it on the show, and I was like, oh, I gave them, like, I tried. I got a beer or whatever and try to tip them $2. And they're like, we can't accept cash. So, like, I thought that was against the rules.

[Lunchbox]

I think that was for the beer. You can't pay money for the beer. Do you think he thought you're paying for the beer?

[Eddie]

No, no. I picked because you can only do credit card on the beer. And I was like, here's a little tip. Two bucks. And, like, we can't ship cash in the plane.

[Amy]

Maybe they're just to turn down your two bucks, but if they're handed.

[Eddie]

They.

[Lunchbox]

Didn'T take your two bucks because they're afraid the plane will be taken down.

[Eddie]

No cash on the plane.

[Lunchbox]

I always thought you could tip a flight attendant. It just almost never happened.

[Eddie]

No, I tried it. I tried it, like, eight years ago.

[Lunchbox]

Some airlines actually don't allow cash tips or discourage them. Flight attendants are paid hourly, so tipping just never became part of the culture. If you want to be a good human, you can tip them with a sincere thank you.

[Eddie]

Thank you.

[Lunchbox]

It is not expected, not necessary. But some flight attendants can't accept it. But she took the tip.

[Eddie]

That's cool. It's a lot of money.

[Lunchbox]

If you would have handed them a bag with money. Anyway, I like the story, Amy. I'm not gonna let you look at the screen, but I want you to rate your hand whenever you stop hearing the sound. Okay. So this will tell you what age your hearing is. So the f. If you just play it for a second. Raymondo. Okay. You hear that, right? Oh, yeah. Okay, down. So that was like, 7373 year olds, for the most part can still hear that. But what's going to happen is it's going to get higher and higher and higher. And when you stop hearing it, just raise your hand. Okay, let's volume down a little bit on that.

[Amy]

So is there on the screen, is there going to be movement? If there's sound on the screen, the.

[Lunchbox]

Age is on and I don't want you to see the age and lift your hand either way.

[Amy]

I just didn't know if I saw movement. Like, I might hear sound.

[Lunchbox]

No, no, no.

[Amy]

I'm just gonna go like this.

[Lunchbox]

Okay, ready? Just, just when you can't hear it anymore, hold your hand up. Got it. Your age is 35 years old.

[Amy]

That is so good.

[Bobby Bones]

Yes.

[Eddie]

Yeah, it's good.

[Amy]

That helps it. Because my hearing is bad.

[Lunchbox]

Mine went to 31 about the same. And it's not a competition. I just did it as well to see before I came on. Did you guys lose it? Anybody lose it before she did?

[Eddie]

I still had it.

[Lunchbox]

You still had it?

[Amy]

You still had it when I raised my hand.

[Lunchbox]

Okay, can you play it from there?

[Bobby Bones]

Wow.

[Lunchbox]

Go.

[Eddie]

No, I hear nothing.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, you still hear Lunchbox?

[Bobby Bones]

No, that's when I raised my hand. Right when I.

[Lunchbox]

So you still heard it when we came back?

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah.

[Lunchbox]

That's 83 again. And so Lunchbox's hearing is better than all of ours.

[Bobby Bones]

That was rough though. That is a weird sound.

[Eddie]

It's just a high pitch noise.

[Amy]

Wait, Morgan still heard it too.

[Bobby Bones]

Did you not hear the crackling at the end? Did you hear the crackling?

[Eddie]

Yes, I heard crackling.

[Bobby Bones]

Okay.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, that might have been an audio issue.

[Amy]

Guys, I am the.

[Lunchbox]

You have the worst hearing of the group. Yeah, possibly.

[Amy]

So I'm the elderly.

[Bobby Bones]

Well, oh, gosh.

[Amy]

Geriatric.

[Lunchbox]

You're 35 or so. So.

[Bobby Bones]

She was so excited about 35 a second ago.

[Amy]

Now she's like depressed because I was like, oh, wow. But I mean, turns out.

[Lunchbox]

Okay, so play it again and everybody just hold up your hand when you lose it.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Lunchbox]

Don't. Don't lie about it.

[Bobby Bones]

No, no, I wouldn't lie. You would.

[Lunchbox]

You'd be the one that would.

[Amy]

Yeah, I want to see if everybody else. I want to see if it's the same.

[Lunchbox]

Okay, go ahead.

[Eddie]

Lost it.

[Lunchbox]

Lost it.

[Caller 1]

Oh.

[Lunchbox]

So Eddie and I came in around the same time. Amy, you're about the same as you were last time. Lunchbox a little behind us. Morgan can still hear it even though it's not on.

[Amy]

Yeah, I was at 19.

[Lunchbox]

Even though it's not on, Morgan. Still.

[Amy]

It started to be like this. I was like, oh, what if there. There was, like, a little something that I heard that maybe I didn't hear last time, but I'm not sure.

[Lunchbox]

But I think you have the worst hearing of the show.

[Eddie]

It's okay.

[Amy]

It's okay.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

It's one thing.

[Lunchbox]

Now.

[Amy]

Now it's all right.

[Lunchbox]

Not now. Don't cry.

[Amy]

Do you think that's why I talk so loud?

[Eddie]

That's gotta be it.

[Amy]

Because on the. If you measure. What's a. What's that called?

[Eddie]

Waveforms?

[Amy]

Yeah. Like, I think I just talk really loud. And sometimes, like, at church, I said something to my boyfriend the other day. He's like, whisper. I was like, I am whispering. But, like, to me, I couldn't. I had no perception. Like, to me, I thought I was speaking so, so quietly, and I was not.

[Lunchbox]

There's another one that talks about your lungs, and this is one of just holding your breath. Can you honestly see how long you can hold your breath?

[Amy]

Yeah, I can honestly do that.

[Eddie]

Like, yeah, this one's crazy. It says 40 seconds is excellent.

[Bobby Bones]

Lungs.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Eddie]

But 90 seconds is exceptional.

[Lunchbox]

Can you play some music under us that we can have because that. We're all going to be holding our breath.

[Eddie]

Yeah, we need something.

[Bobby Bones]

Oh, boy.

[Lunchbox]

Okay, so I'll put the timer on. Mike, will you. Timer. Everybody in the room's gonna see it. But just so our audience hears, can you give us every 10 seconds? Say every 10 seconds? Yeah, you'll need to, because they can't see what we're looking at.

[Caller 3]

Okay.

[Lunchbox]

All right. Don't cheat. No. No cheating.

[Amy]

No.

[Bobby Bones]

Is this where you're gonna plug your nose?

[Eddie]

And, guys, you can't breathe out. You just gotta hold it right?

[Lunchbox]

Correct.

[Eddie]

No breathing out. Out of your nose.

[Lunchbox]

Okay, ready? Ten seconds. 20 seconds. 30 seconds. 40 seconds. 50 seconds.

[Bobby Bones]

Done.

[Lunchbox]

I got the one minute.

[Eddie]

Oh, keep doing it, Amy.

[Lunchbox]

I think Amy's cheating to prove she doesn't have the oldest everything.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Lunchbox]

I think she was trying to make a statement there.

[Bobby Bones]

Her mouth was wide open and she was smiling.

[Lunchbox]

She didn't like being oldest. Ears.

[Eddie]

Well, I got the youngest lungs.

[Caller 2]

Guys, no.

[Amy]

Now I'm dizzy.

[Eddie]

Yeah, yeah, we're all guys.

[Lunchbox]

Morgan, did you fall first?

[Caller 2]

Oh, yeah.

[Amy]

I was out at 30 seconds. My lungs are horrible. Ever since COVID Like, I'm like a smoker.

[Lunchbox]

That's right.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Lunchbox]

So who was. Eddie was out second lunchbox.

[Bobby Bones]

I think I was at 44 or something like that. Oh, my God.

[Lunchbox]

Yours are pretty healthy. And then Me.

[Eddie]

And then you kind of right after me.

[Lunchbox]

I gave it a little bit after you.

[Eddie]

Five seconds.

[Lunchbox]

I got it to a minute. I let up in a minute. I couldn't have gone much longer, but I lit up in a minute. Amy's gonna go for 10 minutes.

[Amy]

No, I wasn't. And now we won't know because y'.

[Caller 1]

All.

[Amy]

Me laugh. Exactly how long I would have gone.

[Eddie]

Well, you can do it whenever you want.

[Lunchbox]

Try it at home.

[Bobby Bones]

Do.

[Lunchbox]

Do the home version. Let us know. Wake up. You wake up in the morning. Then you turn the radio on, and the dial just keeps on turning.

[Caller 2]

Wigs.

[Lunchbox]

Next bit. And Bob's on the mic. So you know what this is? This is the Bobby Bo. Now, time for the investigative corny. Amy will have 90 seconds to give us as many jokes as she possibly can. How many can we get? Guys, you good?

[Eddie]

We're good.

[Bobby Bones]

All right.

[Lunchbox]

Let's get it.

[Bobby Bones]

The morning Corny.

[Amy]

Why did the burglar take a shower so clean?

[Bobby Bones]

Get away.

[Lunchbox]

That's it. Clean. Get away. Good one. Yeah.

[Amy]

Where do zombies like to go swimming?

[Eddie]

They're dead. Deadpool.

[Bobby Bones]

Deadpool. Deadpool. Dead Sea.

[Eddie]

In the Dead Sea.

[Amy]

The Dead Sea.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, good, you guys are killing.

[Amy]

Why did the vegetarian stop swimming?

[Lunchbox]

Meat no meat.

[Eddie]

Vegetarian stop swimming. Because.

[Lunchbox]

Stroke, backstroke.

[Bobby Bones]

Freestyle.

[Eddie]

Me swimming.

[Bobby Bones]

What if I get charged?

[Lunchbox]

What are the other types of breast?

[Bobby Bones]

Butterfly.

[Eddie]

Butterfly.

[Bobby Bones]

Backstroke.

[Lunchbox]

Meat. What's a meat?

[Amy]

Why did the vegetarian stop?

[Lunchbox]

What if she didn't like the meat?

[Amy]

She didn't like meats.

[Lunchbox]

The swim meets meat.

[Eddie]

Swim meats. Okay, go. Go.

[Amy]

Where do snowmen keep their money?

[Bobby Bones]

In the igloos Vault.

[Lunchbox]

In their ball? In their snowball.

[Eddie]

Snow bank.

[Amy]

Snow bank in snow banks.

[Bobby Bones]

Wow.

[Amy]

Let's go. How do you stop an astronaut's baby from crying?

[Bobby Bones]

Space blast off.

[Eddie]

Give it space.

[Bobby Bones]

Give it space.

[Lunchbox]

Moon rocks.

[Bobby Bones]

1, 2. Countdown.

[Eddie]

Atmosphere.

[Bobby Bones]

Countdown. 1, 2. Orbit. 10. Night.

[Eddie]

Can you repeat it?

[Lunchbox]

Countdown.

[Amy]

How do you stop an astronaut's baby from crying?

[Lunchbox]

Is there a nursery rhyme?

[Eddie]

Astronaut. Rocket.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, you rock. You rocket to sleep, baby. Oh, she's not prepared. You gotta stop the clock.

[Amy]

I lost a stop and stop.

[Caller 2]

Okay.

[Amy]

Why didn't the baby want to. Why didn't the baby want to be born?

[Eddie]

We never had a chance.

[Lunchbox]

You were not even ready for us to break.

[Amy]

I lost. I lost. Y' all got so many. I lost, but I have it. Just.

[Bobby Bones]

Just.

[Amy]

We'll give you this one.

[Lunchbox]

No, you can't give us one.

[Bobby Bones]

Wow.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Lunchbox]

How many do we get?

[Amy]

You got. Why did the burglar take a shower to Make a clean getaway. One, where do zombies like to go swimming? Two, the dead sea. Why did the vegetarian stop swimming? She didn't like meats. Where does snowman keep their money? Snow banks. How do you stop an astronaut's baby from crying? 5.

[Lunchbox]

We were just right. We were set. The record. You wouldn't have gotten it prepared.

[Amy]

I have it.

[Eddie]

You don't know that.

[Lunchbox]

Started shaking going, hold on, hold on.

[Amy]

Because I lost where I was.

[Lunchbox]

And then you're like, oh, guys, the ref screwed us. I'm not a big rest type guy, but the ref screwed.

[Amy]

No, she didn't.

[Eddie]

No, you didn't.

[Amy]

Okay, let's just see if you would have gotten it. Yeah, okay. Why didn't the baby want to be born?

[Eddie]

Womb.

[Bobby Bones]

Womb.

[Eddie]

It's something with a woman.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, shoot.

[Amy]

You're gonna get it. I'll give you the point if you get it.

[Lunchbox]

No, no, we don't want the replica. What is the answer?

[Amy]

Why didn't the baby want to be born? He didn't want to give up free womb and board.

[Lunchbox]

Okay, that was the worst one. That was the one.

[Amy]

That's so cute to me.

[Lunchbox]

Bobby bone show Bone head. Nori of the day.

[Bobby Bones]

This story comes to us from annapolis, Maryland. A 29 year old woman's driving down the highway when a car gets in front of her and she feels like that car cut her off. So she followers down the highway, exit into a parking lot, goes up with a crowbar, says, you think it's okay to cut me off? The ladies. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Oh, you're gonna be sorry. Goes back to her car, puts the crowbar down, comes back, goes, see this? This is a gun. Don't cut me off again. Wow.

[Amy]

She went crowbar to gun.

[Lunchbox]

She said sorry to crowbar that again. I'm a little taken aback by the fact that a crowbar was so available while she was driving. She didn't pull over, get in her trunk, go into her spare tire and grab a crowbar. She just was able to drive and reach over and grab a crowbar.

[Amy]

It's obviously her thing.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, I feel like she's done this a lot. And then to go to the gun.

[Amy]

But it's like you feel like you go to the gun if the person doesn't understand what you're saying.

[Lunchbox]

No, no, that's not. When you go to the gun, you don't go to the gun.

[Eddie]

I never go to the gun.

[Lunchbox]

No, no, no.

[Amy]

To lunchbox's point. The person was like, okay, okay, I'm Sorry. And then she's like, I need to make sure you hear me. And she goes back and gets the gun. It's like, you think you would go to the gun if you're irrational.

[Lunchbox]

No, you don't go to the gun.

[Amy]

I'm talking about an irrational.

[Lunchbox]

You don't even follow them off the side of the road.

[Amy]

I get all this. Like, if you're thinking like you have.

[Lunchbox]

The mind of someone, like, you're thinking as someone who would be making a bad decision.

[Amy]

I'm thinking of someone that behaves this way. And you would think like, you only need to bring out the gun if they don't hear you.

[Eddie]

Right.

[Lunchbox]

But that never popped into my head. Like, why should I bring out the gun?

[Eddie]

Well, she said, it's that crowbar. Right? And then she said, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Like, no, I'm gonna make you sorry.

[Lunchbox]

See, the difference in how Amy and I thought about that story, my first thought was, wow, she has. Like, why does she even have a crowbar near? And Amy's was, she should have waited to get the gun.

[Amy]

No, I'm thinking, like, the gun wasn't necessary. Like, crowbar was enough.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

She apologized with the crowbar.

[Lunchbox]

Right. Okay, what happened?

[Bobby Bones]

They got her license plate and tracked her down to her house, and she was arrested.

[Lunchbox]

Was she taken easily? No. Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

No resistance.

[Lunchbox]

And then meet her with a cannon at the door.

[Bobby Bones]

Okay, I'm Lunchbox. That's your bonehead story of the day.

[Lunchbox]

You want to take back a gift that you got your wife?

[Bobby Bones]

Yes.

[Eddie]

I thought it was gonna be a great gift, and she liked it. She just realized that she's not going to use it, and it wasn't cheap.

[Lunchbox]

What is it?

[Eddie]

It's an ice maker. Like, it makes pellet ice.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, like sonic ice?

[Bobby Bones]

Kind of, yes.

[Eddie]

And she loves chewing on ice. So I thought, like, oh, that's a cool gift. But then she's like, hey, I'm gonna be honest with you. Like, I love the gift. It's great. But we already have an ice machine in the refrigerator. Like, and it's crushed ice. Kind of the same thing.

[Lunchbox]

So are your feelings hurt?

[Eddie]

No, no. Because I'm all about saving money. So in my eyes, I'm like, let's just return this thing.

[Lunchbox]

Okay. And she says, you should return the thing.

[Eddie]

She's saying, let's return it. The thing is, we've used it three or four times. Oh, I've made buckets of ice. Oh.

[Lunchbox]

I wondered why this was an issue. Oh.

[Eddie]

And I kind of like, it your.

[Lunchbox]

Conscience is getting you a little bit.

[Eddie]

I like the ice that it makes, but I'm more about getting my money back.

[Lunchbox]

What do you think, Amy? He's used it. How many times have you honestly used it? Three or four. I bet you're lying.

[Eddie]

Four times. Five.

[Lunchbox]

Let's say six or seven.

[Amy]

I mean, can he. No, it's. You're not returning it cuz it's broken, right?

[Eddie]

We're not satisfied.

[Amy]

You like it. You are satisfied.

[Lunchbox]

You are satisfied.

[Amy]

And also that type of ice is not the same thing as crushed from the, from the refrigerator.

[Eddie]

I understand that.

[Amy]

Oh, it's so much better.

[Lunchbox]

But apparently his wife doesn't care that much about the type of ice. She just likes ice.

[Amy]

Eddie's really liking it now. He just wants his money back.

[Eddie]

Yeah, she's not gonna use the gift that I spent 200 on. It's an ice maker. Yeah.

[Lunchbox]

So the. But the question is you've used it a bunch. What's the line where you can't take it back?

[Eddie]

I think that. Well, it says too like I looked at the return policy and they said, you know, 90 days, you can return it.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Lunchbox]

If it's that, you can do that. If you're not having to lie about it, then I think you're okay.

[Amy]

You can return it unused.

[Eddie]

It didn't say anything about user unused.

[Lunchbox]

I think it's still okay though. I think a 90 day policy is even used.

[Eddie]

Like we used it. Didn't like it.

[Lunchbox]

But you did like it. I don't think you go in and say that.

[Eddie]

No, I'm not going to say anything.

[Lunchbox]

We just like to return.

[Amy]

Well, so now you have to take that money and buy her another gift.

[Eddie]

No, no, no.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, that's not. No, that's not a good, excellent point.

[Eddie]

She doesn't want another gift.

[Lunchbox]

Yes, she does. Who doesn't want to? Gift.

[Amy]

So now she's out a gift.

[Eddie]

No, she just doesn't.

[Lunchbox]

She's out a gift.

[Eddie]

Oh my gosh, guys, it's not Christmas. It'd be so weird to hand her a gift in January and be like, merry Christmas.

[Lunchbox]

But you're taking her gift from her.

[Eddie]

She doesn't want it.

[Lunchbox]

I think she'd want something else. I think that's a great point. I wouldn't have thought of that. But you're absolutely right, Amy.

[Eddie]

Why would you say something that means.

[Lunchbox]

She didn't get a gift if you take it back?

[Eddie]

That was just one of the gifts that she got.

[Lunchbox]

Is that the big one though?

[Eddie]

Yeah, that was a big one. Yeah, well, no, no, the ring was a big one.

[Amy]

What ring?

[Lunchbox]

I told you, fit her finger. She didn't know that was coming.

[Eddie]

No, and it is nice and she loves it. The ice machine was just something I thought, oh, that's cool. Like, she likes ice. I'll throw that in there, meet her.

[Lunchbox]

Halfway, take it back, get her something. Don't spend the full 200 on it.

[Eddie]

Okay, so 100 buck and 100 gift.

[Lunchbox]

I think you're okay taking it back. If it's within the policy. And also the fact that she likes fridge ice. I don't like eating fridge ice. I love crushed ice.

[Eddie]

We have an option in our fridge, like whole cubes or crush it.

[Lunchbox]

Flex. Look at he flex.

[Eddie]

That's just a button you push, man.

[Lunchbox]

Look at this guy.

[Amy]

And for a hot minute, he also had a pellet. Ice.

[Lunchbox]

Guys making it over here. We're done. We will see you guys tomorrow. Bye, everybody.

[Bobby Bones]

Bobby Bones.

[Lunchbox]

The Bobby Bones show theme song written, produced and sang by Reed Yarberry. You can find his Instagram reedyarberry Scuba Steve Executive Producer Raymundo, Head of Production. I'm Bobby Bones. My Instagram is Mr. Bobby Bones. Thank you for listening to the podcast.

[Amy]

This is an I heart podcast. Guaranteed human.