WEDS PT 1: Did Bobby Drink Alcohol? + Did Someone Find Amy's Class Ring?! + Amy Inviting Internet Strangers To Her House...

Summary

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The Bobby Bones Show — August 12, 2026

Episode: WEDS PT 1: Did Bobby Drink Alcohol? + Did Someone Find Amy's Class Ring?! + Amy Inviting Internet Strangers To Her House...
Host: Bobby Bones (with co-hosts Amy, Eddie, Lunchbox)
Podcast Network: iHeartPodcasts

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Episode Overview

In this engaging episode, Bobby Bones and the crew share stories about parenting challenges, listener interactions, cult documentaries, online marketplace dangers, strict parenting styles, memorable name games, and missing class rings. The balance of humor, personal stories, pop-culture references, and real-life dilemmas gives listeners both laughs and moments of reflection.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bobby’s Baby Teething Troubles

[02:19 - 05:00]

• Bobby opens the show venting about sleepless nights due to his baby Billy’s teething problems.
• He and his wife are “battling” exhaustion as they share baby duties.
• The crew jokes about teething remedies. Bobby references the old “put whiskey on the gums” method but didn’t try it:
  • “I put it on mine.” — Bobby ([05:22])

Notable quote:

“I think she's been teething for six months and she's four months old.” — Bobby ([04:47])

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2. Listener Offers Homegrown Jalapeños for Eddie’s Salsa

[06:09 - 07:18]

• Listener Emily offers jalapeños from her garden to Eddie, who eagerly accepts.
• Jokes about “growers” and “suppliers” ensue (implying it sounds shady).

Notable banter:

“She’s one of your growers, right?” — Amy ([06:51])
“That sounds illegal. She’s my supplier.” — Eddie ([06:54])

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3. Discussion: Cults, Trafficking, and True Crime

[07:18 - 15:00]

• The crew reacts to a viral story: the Kingston family cult, where the leader reportedly had 27 wives (some relatives) and 300 kids.
• Amy references cult docuseries like “Trust Me: The False Prophet” (Netflix) and “The Kingston Cult” (YouTube).
• Bobby draws parallels between cult manipulation and human trafficking, sharing that Tim Tebow will soon be on the show to discuss the latter.
• Delves into differences between sociopathy and psychopathy.

Notable quote:

“There’s a part of me that feels sorry for people that have that. Because not every sociopath is a killer.” — Bobby ([13:32])

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4. Parenting Styles: Strict vs. Open

[17:22 - 23:23]

• Bobby asks if being a strict parent makes kids more or less honest. The crew discusses whether strictness leads to sneaky/lying children.
• Eddie describes his “strict” household and why he believes he can always tell when his kids are lying.
• Amy and Bobby are skeptical.

Key reference:

“Authoritarian parents who use punishments tend to raise children who are more dishonest and will lie to get out of trouble.” — Bobby, reading from a developmental psychology text ([18:45])

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5. Risky Online Interactions: Amy Invites a Stranger to Her House

[26:01 - 29:44]

• Amy recalls selling a desk on Facebook Marketplace and letting a stranger pick it up from her porch while home alone.
• Crew debates the risks of such meetups, referencing Amy’s risky past approach to buying airline miles from a male listener by going alone to his house.
• Everyone agrees it wouldn’t feel safe today.

Notable moment:

“I would never do that today, but at 25, it felt okay.” — Amy ([29:12])

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6. TV Character Last Name Game

[30:43 - 38:00]

• Bobby hosts a fun trivia game where the crew must recall popular TV characters’ last names (e.g., Uncle Jesse = Katsopolis, Frasier = Crane).
• The game quickly exposes generational gaps, confusion, and laughter.

Memorable exchange:

“Uncle Jesse on Full House…?” — Bobby
“Consopolis.” — Lunchbox ([31:40])
“You’re all in. It’s Katsopolis.” — Bobby ([31:57])

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7. Eddie’s Parenting Dilemma: Did He Overreact?

[38:04 - 40:34]

• Eddie recounts grounding his sons and assigning extra chores for not thanking a police officer who held a door open.
• He’s unsure if he overreacted; the crew weighs in.
• Lunchbox thinks Eddie just made his kids do his chores.

Quote:

“You want your kids to hate you just because they didn’t say thank you one time? …Wow, you are intense.” — Lunchbox ([40:34])

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8. Hot Topic: Would You Rather Know How or When You Die?

[41:15 - 45:37]

• The team debates the classic hypothetical: would you rather know exactly how or exactly when you’ll die?
• Most are tortured by the question; Bobby and Lunchbox choose how; Amy and Eddie choose when, arguing it could free them to live purposefully.

Memorable moment:

“If you say 50 years, I’m a superhero because I know I can’t die…I’m jumping off buildings.” — Bobby ([44:02])

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9. Anonymous Inbox: Couch-Surfing Cousin

[48:17 - 51:20]

• Listener writes in: Their cousin was supposed to stay “a few weeks” but has been on their couch for three months, not working or moving out.
• Advice: Set a clear move-out date, offer help transitioning, but don’t enable laziness.

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10. Morning Corny & Listener Voice Mails

[51:55 - 54:22]

• Morning Corny:
  • Q: “What is it called when you get a hangover from wine?”
  • A: “The grape depression.” ([52:02])
• Listener voicemail:
  • Questions about Lunchbox’s comments on women and his wife’s feelings. Lunchbox asserts his wife isn’t bothered.

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11. Tipping Massage Therapists Confusion

[53:31 - 55:00]

• Listener asks about tipping massage therapists.
• Bobby acknowledges tipping culture is confusing (“ruining it for everybody”) and often depends on the business setup.

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12. Bonehead Story: IKEA Make-Out Ban

[55:16 - 56:20]

• “Bonehead Story of the Day”: A couple gets banned from IKEA after “getting handsy” on a display mattress.
• Hilarious crew reaction about PDA and public embarrassment ensues.

---

13. Amy’s Missing Texas A&M Class Ring — Almost Found?

[56:24 - 59:12]

• Viral video: A metal detectorist finds a Texas A&M ring at the beach.
• Bobby and Amy desperately hope it’s Amy’s—a long-running show mystery—but it’s not.
• The crew relives the saga and talks about the emotional significance of the original.
• Amy admits she’s considered ordering a replacement, but says, “...if I do that, I’m giving up on finding the original.” ([58:40])

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Sociopathy:

  “...There are some people that are born completely without the ability to feel, empathize, to have any sympathy.” — Bobby ([13:25])

• On Strict Parenting:

  “If you’re a strict parent...you may create someone that doesn’t feel, out of fear." — Amy ([17:43])

• On Marketplace Risk:

  “You're talking on the show…Male listeners are never going to lock you in a room and hurt you?” — Bobby to Amy ([28:22])

• On Knowing When You'll Die:

  “If it says 50 years, then, no, I'm not going to just, like, do whatever I want.” — Amy ([43:44])
  “If you say 50 years, I'm a superhero because I know I can't die.” — Bobby ([44:02])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Bobby’s Baby Teething Story: [02:19–05:19]
• Listener Jalapeños Offer: [06:09–07:18]
• Cult & True Crime Discussion: [07:18–15:00]
• Parenting Styles/Lying: [17:22–23:23]
• Amy Sells Desk to Stranger: [26:01–29:44]
• TV Character Name Game: [30:43–38:00]
• Eddie’s Parenting Overreaction: [38:04–40:34]
• How vs When You Die Debate: [41:15–45:37]
• Anonymous Inbox/Cousin Squatting: [48:17–51:20]
• Morning Corny: [51:55–52:11]
• Bonehead Story (IKEA): [55:16–56:20]
• Amy’s Ring Almost Found: [56:24–59:12]

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Summary

This episode serves up classic Bobby Bones Show fare: candid parenting confessions, tongue-in-cheek banter, wild listener stories, TV nostalgia games, and poignant pop-culture commentary. The blending of laugh-out-loud segments (the missed class ring, the IKEA makeout boneheads) with real, sometimes dark, conversations (cults, trauma, human trafficking) provides listeners with a compelling, well-rounded show. Amy’s tendency to trust strangers, Eddie’s strict parenting, and Bobby’s musings on the weirdness of human nature ground the episode in relatable, memorable radio.

Transcript

[A]

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[A]

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[D]

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[D]

Here we go.

[B]

Come on, Bobby Bones transmitting across America.

[A]

Turn it up now. This is the Bobby Bone Show.

[C]

Let's go.

[A]

What's up everybody? Welcome to Wednesday's show. More in the studio. Morning, Bones. Allow me to complain just a bit. I'm not a big complainer if it comes to things happening to me personally. But I'm gonna complain. The baby's teething. Billy's teething. It sucks so bad. I was up all night last night. So the night before she was teething so bad that she woke up about 3 just screaming. So my wife got this. Honestly, I didn't even know because she didn't wake me up. And so she was up from 3am until, well, she went to bed. And so I felt terrible for her because she had food poisoning for a couple of days, my wife. And then she was up with the baby all night and she just sucked for her. So it's like, next night, I'm up, you need me, I'm up. She's like, no, you have to work. I said, no. So we do that little dance. But so my wife's asleep and so I'm staying awake. And so. But she's also staying. So we're just like battling, staying awake with each, like. Anyway, the baby's screaming and teething and it's just a miserable, miserable, miserable night.

[B]

How long does the teething process last?

[D]

Forever, apparently. They have a bunch of teeth.

[B]

Yeah, well, I know, but I didn't.

[A]

Like, she has two, One's all the way out. She's four months one time, but that one broke through. Yep. It erupted, as they say. And the other one is getting so close where she just gnaws on her hands. And it sucks so bad because I feel bad for her. And then everybody at the house is tired and then I come in and I'm tired. And my wife said, you don't have to wake up. I'll take care of it. But I feel bad for her because she's been sick. And so we're just in the middle of that. And I do know wise men once said, don't blink just like that they're not teething anymore. And how about that? So.

[D]

Yeah, but times like that though, you want to blink and like just have

[C]

it all be over.

[A]

Yeah, you want to blink, just blink.

[D]

So we get it over with.

[A]

Yeah. So my energy is fine, but I never really consider teething to be an obstacle in the future. And it is. And then I go, man, she has a lot more teeth to come through.

[B]

You're looking at three to five days of symptoms per tooth.

[A]

It's more than that per tooth, but

[D]

sometimes they come in doubles or triples.

[B]

I know. So then that would mean.

[A]

I think she's been teething for six months and she's four months old. I know.

[B]

Six months.

[A]

Fairly certain. She's been teething for since she was born.

[B]

Wow. She's an early, early tether. She's an early teether because generally it says it starts around the six month mark. So look at her, she's already ahead.

[A]

Let's slow down then.

[B]

Well, no, you're getting it over with. That's awesome.

[D]

You know what's so dumb about that is that they sell all these like, oh, teething. This will help. Nothing helps everything.

[A]

Nothing helps for about five minutes because it's a new novel toy, and then it just gets, I don't like this one anymore.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And there you laugh, but there are a lot of people that have said, hey, put whiskey on our gums.

[B]

Oh, no, I wasn't. I mean, I was like, yeah.

[D]

So have you thought about it?

[A]

I put it on mine.

[B]

Oh, no. You went, how many years being. So.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

It was the first time that I ever had alcohol because the baby was teething. I mentioned that to my wife. I said, what if we put whiskey on our gums? And she just looked at me and then kept going and, like, walked off.

[D]

She was like, stop.

[A]

So I'm in a very fortunate place that we have a healthy baby right now. Is it kind of hard? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, man. I got a DM about you, Eddie.

[D]

Oh, yeah? Is it a good one or a bad one?

[C]

Sound like a bad one?

[A]

No, it was neither. So you know how all the food's bad? We can't eat it because we all get diarrhea.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Salmonella.

[A]

Basically, if you eat anything, you're going to get diarrhea or salmonella.

[D]

Sure.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So we had a listener named Emily say, hey, Bobby, I have about 3 pounds of fresh locally grown jalapenos from my garden. I've canned and frozen enough and would love to donate these fresh ones to Eddie for a salsa.

[D]

Pass over that. Whatever. Dm. Yes.

[A]

I drive by. I drive by the studio every day. Going to work downtown.

[D]

Oh, my goodness.

[A]

I can drop them by the front desk or meet Eddie downstairs to give them to him. I've tried calling the show, but can't get through. If you want to have Abby call or arrange, here's a number.

[D]

Yep, yep, yep. Sent to Abby. Let's figure this out.

[B]

So you're going to pay her?

[D]

Well, she'd like to donate.

[C]

Donate.

[D]

She said the word, key word.

[A]

She did say the word donate.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

But, I mean, if I like the product, this could be a future endeavor for sure. A future partner.

[B]

She's one of your growers, right?

[A]

Oh, that sounds illegal.

[D]

It does sound weird. That sounds kind of illegal. She's my supplier.

[A]

Do you really want it?

[D]

Yes. Yes. 100.

[A]

I thought that was very nice of her to offer you these jalapenos because the ones that you're buying will give us jalapenos.

[D]

Jalapenos.

[A]

Jalapenos.

[B]

Eddie, you could easily grow your own jalapenos.

[D]

I know, but that's. I mean, when do they start growing? You get a supplier? Yeah, a grower. That's great. Yeah.

[A]

So I'll pass that over to you. Appreciate it if you want that. There's the son of this cult leader that's talking about his 300 kids and 27 wives. I'm so interested in these stories. So John Kingston is the son of this polygamy cult leader, Paul Kingston, and he talked about growing up in the family, and his dad had 27 wives and more than 300 children. And so here's John. This is the son talking about it. My dad has over 300 kids and 27 wives. Three of those wives are his sisters. Two of them are his nieces. People are wondering, how did my dad remember all 300 kids? First off, there's a lot of repeating names, and if the boy names are in the Bible, he's probably got a kid named that. Even still, on Sundays, when we would line up to go say bye to our dad, he would still forget some of our names sometimes. And when he came over to our house. House, he'd forget our names. It's almost impossible for somebody to get 300 names right every single time. Happy to say I have left this group. I've been out for four years. Life's been amazing.

[B]

His dad was married to two of his sisters and some nieces. What in the world?

[A]

I think it's anyone who can reproduce ends up being a wife, and then that's what you do. You just reproduce.

[B]

Thought that that was illegal.

[A]

It's not legal. Okay, but you got to kind of catch them doing it. If they're in their own little private area in the middle of a desert, you really don't have a lot of cops going in and out. Unless there's someone who's reporting abuse. How crazy. I can't believe, like, the kids. Some of the kids don't have tails and stuff, Right? If it's like you're having a kid with your sister, you would think, like, you have a nose going out of your cheek, because that's. That's. We say, can you marry your cousin? And then you guys give me a hard time. Second cousin.

[D]

Yes, we do.

[A]

Yeah. This is your sister, and you're having a kid with your sister.

[B]

Yeah. Ooh, it looks like I just found something to watch on YouTube called what is the Kingston clan?

[D]

Oh.

[C]

Oh, wow. Here we go.

[D]

Hey, will you report Amy's in?

[B]

Well, these stories, they're terribly sad and just fascinating at the same time. And you feel. What was the most recent one that was so popular on Netflix? And the. This woman went in undercover like a normal woman. She kind of infiltrated the.

[A]

Never watched.

[B]

You didn't. Oh, gosh. It was the last thing I watched.

[A]

It was crazy. Was maternal instinct, and that was crazy. And that's crazy.

[B]

Yeah, that was pretty wild. But this was, to your point, like this cult in the middle of nowhere. But she did it. She snuck her way in and she got close to the main guy and she tricked him. And so they were able to success, successfully break this up and rescue some of the women. But some of the women, it was too late. They had already done so much that they had to go serve time in jail, too. And I felt so bad for them because these are adult women that were then in danger, endangering children. But I'm like. But they were brainwashed.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But they went and served their time, but they had to go to jail for what they were doing too. Even though I just feel like it was so messed up.

[D]

Is it crazy to you guys that this is happening around us and we had no idea?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yes. And I'm going to tell you something that's happening around us even more so that most people have no idea. And it's trafficking.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's happening so close around us and so often and we have no idea. And even me saying this, I have no idea. And I think I kind of have an idea yet. I have no idea. And I have. It won't be on for a couple weeks. And it's not the whole reason we're gonna do the interview. But I have Tim Tebow coming over because he's so involved in anti. And I want to learn more about this because I've studied it a bit, but I still have no idea. So when you say that. Yep, absolutely. And then I go, oh, everybody's being trafficked around us. We have no idea.

[D]

And what I've learned about trafficking is it's not the kidnap sense of trafficking where, like, oh, people go missing and. No, this is like where they brainwash, like Amy's talking about, and voluntary step into a car because they have no other options. And next thing you know, they're in a trafficking situation.

[A]

Yeah. They're so vulnerable that they're put in a situation and then they cannot be less vulnerable because a. Their livelihood depends on it or their. Their families or if it's someone that's not from the States, they have their passport there Are so many.

[B]

You know, they're taken somewhere where they don't even know.

[A]

Or how to get out.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

How to get out. Or they're in. Then there's drugs involved that they didn't take voluntarily, by the way.

[D]

Cold stories are.

[A]

I didn't watch. I don't like that. I don't like those. Like, I'm not even really drawn to. I'm not too good to be drawn to something that's freaking crazy because I watched the Ted Bundy and was just enamored with how awful he was. And I think I'm obsessed sometimes with how people cannot feel like they're. They're sociopathic to. And psychopathic and sociopathic are completely different. Well, they cross over a little bit, but they're different things. How someone can be so sociopathic and have no remorse or guilt, like it doesn't exist inside of them. They were built without it. They didn't choose not to have it. They didn't go, you know, I'd rather not feel guilty. It never was presented inside of their body as they were born as a chemical. Therefore, they can do whatever they please because it's normal. It's natural to them. A lot of sociopathic people on a very, very high level, the people that are also psychopaths because they can be both. Like Ted Bundy. Both. But he felt nothing. The sociopathic part of him. But the psychopathic part of him was doing the stuff, the really bad stuff, the killing. But the sociopathic part, you don't get to. You don't choose. You don't go. I'd rather not feel. Now there are some people whose desires or selfishness or can override the guilt and they can choose. You know what? I could feel guilty, but I'm getting so much pleasure from this pleasure. Greater sign than the guilt. But there are some people that are born completely without the ability to feel, empathize, to have any sympathy. And that you. There's. There's a part of me that feels sorry for people that have that. Because not every sociopath is a killer.

[B]

Because that would be psychopath.

[A]

No, but. Or

[B]

because one of them kills and

[A]

one of them psychopaths kill. But sociopaths can kill as well.

[B]

Oh, but you.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, whatever. We're pathing here. But it sucks that people are born like that.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And their decisions are made without that barrier. And sometimes they don't know they don't have that barrier till it's too late. But there are also people. I would say sociopathic people because I once Asked my therapist, hey, am I a sociopath? And he was like, you asked me that question. Do you mean it? Yeah, you're not a sociopath because you're asking. Because you actually care and you're worried. I said, but I don't feel a lot of things. And he's like, that's different. That's trauma. That's huge. You had stuff happen to you before where you did feel, and you don't want to feel it again. And there's a difference in that and the inability, because it is not something that you're able to do.

[D]

See, I thought that's where most of it came from. Trauma or. I thought all of it came from some can.

[A]

Some can, for sure.

[D]

I didn't know that you could actually be born like that.

[A]

Oh, it's all.

[D]

That's crazy.

[A]

But, yes, you can be born that way. That cult story is crazy.

[B]

Oh, and the cult show that I watch on Netflix is called, Trust Me, the False Prophet.

[D]

And what's the one we're going to be watching on YouTube now?

[B]

Oh, the Kingston Cult.

[A]

Okay, we. I'm not. Have you got a mouse in your pocket?

[B]

Well, I'll probably forget about it later. But the cult stories, they are fascinating. But then also, yes, it's difficult to watch, and it's tragic. Like, this is how some people are living, and it's so sad.

[A]

I want to shout out this guy who is accused of robbing the Shake Shack. And you wonder, why would you shout him out?

[D]

Why would you shout him out, man,

[A]

to have this kind of confidence. He works there, went and robbed it, and then went back to work.

[D]

Dang. But do they have cameras and all that?

[A]

He's a conversation.

[D]

Of course they did.

[A]

Okay, so he put in his pin

[D]

code to get him the cash register.

[A]

Shake Shack employee is accused of armed robbery of his own store. And he was arrested when he goes back. 33 years old. Here you go. He robs, it goes back. Two days later.

[C]

Police say this Phoenix man robbed his own workplace. Keandre Simmons, accused of armed robbery and kidnapping. As investigators say he held two co workers at gunpoint at this Scottsdale shake shack. He allegedly forced a manager to open the Safe, took nearly $3,000 in cash, and then locked the victims in a cooler. Court paperwork says he then went on to destroy their phones and say coworkers recognized his voice and knowledge of the store. Police arresting Simmons two days later when he showed up for his shift at the Shake Shack.

[A]

What the crap? Yes, obviously he had a mask on. Yeah, but the voice like, yes, of course, you idiot.

[D]

It's like when Lunchbox tries to do, you know, his agent Anonymous, Spill the tea.

[E]

Anything.

[D]

It's like, we know it's him.

[C]

I don't know what you're talking about.

[A]

Shout out to that dumbest dude ever for being the dumbest dude ever. Also, don't be holding people to gunpoint, sticking them in safes or closets.

[D]

And then obviously he knew where everything was. Like they said.

[A]

Yes, he knew exactly. You know, a little too much kind robber to just be a random kind robber from ABC15 Arizona. So I thought that one was pretty wild. Okay, I want to talk about parenting your kids. If you're strict on your kids, do you think that makes them more honest or do you think that creates dishonest children?

[D]

It's tough.

[B]

Like strict on. I mean, I think you can have rules, but allow for honest communication, like freedom to, hey, tell me anything.

[A]

If you're strict, though, do you think, hey, tell me anything actually works? I'm asking. I don't know. I'm not asking to set you guys up. I was asking.

[B]

I guess just. This is a generalized statement. But the more super strict you are, you may create someone that doesn't feel they. They out of fear. They're not going to tell you things.

[A]

Let's go over to Eddie, who definitely lives more of the strict lifestyle.

[D]

Oh, yeah, strict for sure. But I think it's it's either way. Like, if you're a strict parent.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Your kids are gonna not want to get in trouble for certain things, so they're gonna lie about things. Right. But if you're not strict parent and you want to just kind of be open everything, if they want to do something, they're still going to lie about it. So I don't think one necessarily means that they're going to be liars or not.

[B]

I think this. Well, I do think. I do actually think that the stricter you are and the less room you have for conversation around things, the more you're going to get sneaky children.

[A]

Interesting.

[D]

Yeah. Because sometimes I'm just kind of like, you know what? I'm going to be cool this week. And then they still live out there this week.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I wouldn't trust it. I wouldn't trust there's a cool week with dad. If every other week's not cool, I'm

[B]

just gonna flip and start opening up and telling you things.

[A]

I want to read you this from the Child Development and Developmental Psychology book here. If you're a strict parent, you might Want to let up on your kids? Many parents believe that being strict will stop lying or misbehaving. In fact, it increases it authoritarian. Parents who use punishments tend to raise children who are more dishonest and will lie to get out of trouble. That rolls even into adulthood.

[D]

I get it.

[B]

I mean, but there's a fine line. You can't be all loosey goosey, no rules, you know, question about parenting.

[D]

Go ahead.

[A]

Isn't it all just kind of a fine line where nothing's really right or wrong and you're just kind of figuring it out as you go, and you don't really step. You're never really, like, Right.

[D]

Correct.

[B]

Yeah. But I do think the super strict ones probably think they do have it all figured out. And that's like my way or the highway.

[D]

So what I've dealt with, what I've started doing with, like, the lying situation is I'm gonna give you a chance to tell me the truth. And you.

[A]

It's almost like I double down and keep lying.

[D]

You will lessen your sentence.

[A]

I double down and keep lying.

[D]

And it works.

[A]

I'd go, maybe he really doesn't know and he's tricking me. Double down, lie.

[D]

Well, that's you playing games with me, though. But in my house, they're like, oh, crap, Dad's gonna find out. We're gonna be in trouble.

[A]

Do you think they ever get away with lying to you?

[D]

No.

[C]

You're an idiot.

[D]

They don't.

[C]

You're an absolute idiot.

[E]

They don't.

[C]

Because I.

[D]

Guys, you want to know why I have four boys? Three of them always tell me to who did it every single time.

[A]

And you don't think they ever in cahoots?

[D]

Nope.

[A]

No.

[D]

Dude, they are so competitive with each other that there's no way that they're all gonna be like, hey, let's all. Now, maybe when they're 18, when they're older, like, maybe they'll do something like that. But when they're older, I won't care as much. Right now, it's like we're raising the boys. We've got to be strict.

[A]

I would bet just a numbers game, there are things they've lied to you about you haven't figured out.

[D]

I've been told by one of the boys that he did. I saw him do it.

[B]

Well, then don't you want to tell that kid? Stopping a tattletale, right?

[C]

Exactly.

[D]

System, guys. The whole system. So we all end up telling the truth.

[A]

But what if one kid doesn't tell the other kids and they're able to lie to you and the other kids don't even know.

[D]

Oh, that's complicated now. A lot of mind games going on.

[E]

No.

[A]

Like, they just do something and you're like, did you do this? And like, no. But they didn't even tell the other boys.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, sure, sure. Like, if the other boys aren't involved.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Like, say, this is at school.

[C]

Yep.

[D]

And the other kids aren't there. Yeah. I mean, I do think sometimes they try to lie. But here's the thing. If you really, really pay attention to your kids and just pay attention to their mannerisms, you know exactly when they're lying. I know exactly when every single one of my boys is telling a lie.

[A]

I think every parent thinks that, though. Did you ever get away with lying, Eddie?

[D]

But I've known them since they were.

[A]

Did you ever get away with lying?

[D]

What's that?

[A]

Did you. Did you ever get. Did you ever get away with lying?

[C]

Oh.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Okay. And so do you think your parents thought they knew when you were lying?

[D]

I think they knew. I think they just kind of, like, are like, he thinks. He thinks he got one. He got one over on us, but he really didn't. Like, I would go drinking with my friends and I would come back and I would see them and talk to them, and, like, they have no idea that I've been drinking. Yes, they did.

[C]

100%, they did.

[B]

I mean, there was a.

[C]

That's different.

[B]

My mom picked me up from a party at my friend Django's house. And I don't know, maybe we were sophomores, juniors. I had have been. I couldn't drive yet, so maybe, maybe freshmen. I threw up on the way home. She had to pull over, and I was like, oh, my gosh. Django's mom must have made some bad food. No, I drank, but, like, I didn't get in trouble. And I'm like, what was my mom thinking? Because she. I would get grounded. But, like, was she just not. Did she just not want to deal with it or address it, or did she really think that I ate bad food?

[D]

Some days you don't want to deal with it. Right.

[B]

I mean, I will never forget that one. And now that I'm a parent, I'm trying to think if, like, I picked my kids up from a party and they were like, pull over, pull over. I'm going to be sick. And they threw up.

[D]

Yeah, right.

[B]

I'd be like, okay, what was going on at the party? But maybe she was just tired.

[A]

Those that aren't as blatant. You probably lied to your parents and got away with it, and they probably thought, yeah, he's telling us the truth.

[D]

I don't know. I don't know. And even maybe that could be my conscience a little bit where I'm just like, oh, did they believe that or not? But I just feel like I know exactly when any of my kids are lying.

[A]

And that makes me feel, since you think you know for sure, that you don't know for sure, but that's me. I don't think.

[D]

I can't wait to have this conversation with you when your daughter's older, because I want to know what you think

[A]

I'm going to think she's probably getting away with a little bit, and she's probably mostly not getting away with stuff.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

But I don't know right now. No lies have been told four months in all true. Completely.

[C]

Bones.

[A]

Hi, Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. Are you looking for a beach read this summer? May I suggest your big wireless build? It's got suspense, mystery, a slightly flat emotional arc, and a shocking twist where you realize you've been overpaying the entire time. Fortunately, though, Mint's story is better.

[C]

Every plan, $15 a month, even unlimited.

[E]

That's it.

[A]

Happy ending, zero tears. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment

[B]

of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for a 12 month plan. Required $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. Me slow when network is busy. See terms.

[C]

Hey everyone, it's Kal Penn. I'm the host of Irsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Ray Porter, the narrator of Andy Weir's audiobook project, Hail Mary, Massive sci fi adventure about survival and science and what happens when you wake up alone, very far from Earth.

[D]

I really had to make a decision because I couldn't caught myself getting that frog in my throat and starting to get teary as I'm narrating some of these sections. And it's like, okay, yo, yo, yo, is this indulgent? And I really thought about it. I was like, no. At this point it would kind of be betraying the trust the author and the listener have in telling this story if I don't go through it. But there's places in this book that that deeply, emotionally affected me and I left it on the mic. That's great because it served the story. People will say like, oh my God, I cried at the end. It's like, yeah, dude, me too.

[C]

Listen to Irsay The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[E]

Ice Cube's Big 3 Season 9 is coming down to the wire. The playoffs are here. The action starts with the legendary Big three celebrity game. Then the Chicago triplets, led by Montrez Harrell and coach Dr. J take on coach Gary Payton and the Boston ball hogs, followed by two time MVP Michael Beasley and the defending champion Miami 305 facing Nancy Lieberman's Dallas Power. Three games of the most physical, competitive and nonstop three on three action. Watch live Saturday on CBS at 12pm Eastern, 9am Pacific and catch replays Monday on BET. Presented by iHeart.

[B]

Reese Witherspoon here checking into my favorite hotel in Paris.

[A]

Bonjour. Bonjour.

[B]

I'm traveling with my Wells Fargo Autograph Journey card. So I earn rewards wherever I book. Travel five times points with hotels, four times with airlines, three times on restaurants and other travel and one point on other purchases. Phew, that was a lot. I need to lie down. Is the room ready?

[A]

Visit Wells Fargo.com autographjourney Terms apply. A guy was robbed. He did a Facebook Marketplace meetup and so he meets up and the guy robbed him.

[D]

Oh, no, that's a Amy.

[A]

That's who I think of.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Is Amy just selling random stuff or having people come to her house?

[B]

Yeah, Sold a desk yesterday. 40 bucks.

[A]

Where did you sell it?

[B]

On Facebook Marketplace.

[D]

Where'd you meet up?

[B]

Oh, she came. She is a huge desk. She had to come to my house to pick it up.

[D]

Oh, my gosh. She went in your house and who

[A]

was at your house?

[B]

No, it was on my porch.

[A]

Okay, but who was at your house with you when it happened?

[B]

Me.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You're like, who else though?

[B]

Me.

[C]

But it was on the porch.

[A]

So now they know where you live and you're by yourself.

[B]

Yeah, but it was a woman.

[D]

So you don't think she has a.

[B]

If it was a man, I wouldn't have done the deal.

[A]

Police say this 19 year old who was robbed was meeting someone to sell from Facebook Marketplace that he thought was between 14 and 17 years old. And they pulled out a gun and said, nope, I'll take that. And then took all the money and they ran off.

[D]

Oh, I remember I sold a truck, like my dad's car or something. I was selling it and I had. I met the people in the Target parking lot and then they Wanted to test drive it. And I was like, oh, no, this is where they steal it. So then I was like, sure, but I'll go with you. And then I'm like, they're gonna kidnap me.

[B]

Yeah, why don't you go with them?

[D]

Yeah, it ended up being okay, but I remember that situation being a little scary.

[B]

That was. You probably remember the story. That's what happened to my mom. She went to meet them at a parking lot. They test drove her car and they never came back.

[D]

Oh, it's terrible.

[B]

Ever. Like it was stolen.

[C]

I mean, that's legit.

[B]

I know. And I don't. I mean, I guess it was the 80s. I know that they met in the parking lot of the restaurant that my parents owned, and it was close to our house. And then they came back and we're like, do you sell the car? They're like, they never came back. I mean, they called the police. I think they later tracked something down and they had.

[A]

Oh, Mexico.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That's what I think. They take everything to Mexico and take it to Mexico. So all the bad stuff happens.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, A Buick.

[A]

But I just think about the times too that you, like, went inside that guy's house to get his airplane miles. Like you went in his house, in his bedroom.

[B]

I did. He was a listener.

[D]

Story. What?

[B]

He was a listener.

[C]

He.

[A]

You're talking on the show. Male listeners are ever going to.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Lock you in a room and hurt you.

[B]

And we were so young and we were. I just had started dating who I ended up marrying and I wanted to fly to go see him and I. You could buy points off of people or something on Craigslist.

[C]

Yeah, that was the day.

[B]

And so we were talking about it on the show and we thought, oh, well, this is going to be a good way to do it. And then, I don't know, did he send me an email or something to my work email. And I ended up meeting him at his house. And when I got to his house, he said, well, come in, because he had to do it on his account and like, transferred to me. So he's like, come back to my office.

[D]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And I sat back there and then sure enough, he transferred it and I was able to fly to Albuquerque or wherever. Went all the way back to the office.

[A]

He was one door shut and latch away from. We're Amyless here. Sure was talking about that coast we had that bought the points.

[B]

I would never do that today, but at 25, it felt okay. But could you imagine connecting with a guy on. Well, I guess it wasn't Craigslist. Like, I think I was looking on Craigslist. How did. Did he email me? Did I find him on Craigslist? Because how did he know he was a. Okay, it was.

[D]

What were you exchanging?

[B]

No, he was a listener.

[A]

I. I think you made that up for some sort of justification.

[B]

No, no. I wonder. Five emails from him.

[D]

What were you guys exchanging? Like, what was the. Why did you have to be in his office?

[B]

He was selling. Like, the exchange was his Rapid Rewards.

[D]

Yeah, but literal. Paper of miles. Like, I don't understand why you guys couldn't do it.

[C]

But he had a.

[B]

Book it for me.

[C]

Yeah, he had to go online and book it through his account.

[A]

Yeah, he had to go back. Take your clothes off.

[B]

Oh, my God. I didn't have to. God, could you imagine?

[D]

Well, yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Well, that was never part of the deal.

[B]

Well, I know, but what if you're put in some.

[A]

No, I know. It's one latch away.

[B]

Yeah, I know.

[A]

You need to have people come to your house to sell a desk too.

[B]

This was yesterday, 20 years ago.

[A]

That I did the tickets was yesterday.

[B]

That's on. Like, look, it's fine. You can. On Facebook when you're selling. You can look the people up. And I was like, okay, she seems safe.

[A]

Because what?

[C]

What?

[B]

Because she's a she? And her name. Her name was nice or cat. Like everything.

[A]

Of course her name was nice.

[B]

It was great. It wasn't shady.

[A]

We're gonna play a game. I will give you the first name of a television character. You give me their last name.

[D]

Oh, man.

[A]

Oh, if I were to say Ross, it would be Geller from Friends. Good. If you miss it, you're out. What is Uncle Jesse's last name on Full House?

[D]

Oh, gosh.

[A]

What, are you kidding? Well, no, this was supposed to be the easy one.

[B]

Oh,

[A]

I'm saying, are you kidding to me?

[D]

No.

[A]

Do we make this too hard?

[B]

I'm in.

[A]

Uncle Jesse on Full House.

[B]

I think.

[A]

Eddie's writing something. Lunchbox is staring at his pen. Okay, five seconds, guys.

[C]

It's been real, guys.

[D]

Yeah, this is.

[A]

Have fun in this game, Uncle Jesse.

[D]

I didn't get that.

[A]

You didn't?

[C]

I got something around it, but ain't it.

[A]

What do you have?

[C]

Consopolis.

[A]

You're so close.

[C]

Yeah, I don't know that, though. I just knew that was.

[B]

That doesn't. That's not it. Because I have gonsophalus.

[D]

See, there we go.

[E]

Eddie.

[D]

I have Kuntopoulos.

[C]

You know what?

[A]

You're all in It's Kitsopolis.

[B]

Kitsopolis.

[A]

Kitsopolis. And not only that, the first season he was Cochrane, but then he changed it to Katsopolis.

[C]

Oh, man, I should have gone with

[B]

Cochrane, but I almost put Spano, but that's.

[D]

That's.

[A]

What are you doing? You're helping a later answer.

[B]

Are you going to do another Jesse?

[A]

Who knows?

[C]

You never know.

[A]

Okay, next up, what's Al's last name on Married With Children?

[C]

Al.

[D]

I'm in.

[B]

I'm in.

[C]

I'm in for the win.

[B]

Amy Bundy.

[D]

Eddie Bundy.

[A]

Lunchbox Bundy. Correct. What's Frasier's last name on the show? Frasier?

[D]

I'm in.

[C]

I'm in for the win.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Oh, wow. Frasier.

[B]

That's not his last name.

[A]

It is a last name, though.

[D]

Sounds like one.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Frasier.

[A]

Yeah, There are people with the last name Frasier, but no Frasier. Blank.

[D]

You know, lunchbox.

[B]

Dr. Frasier. Frazier. Dr. Frasier. Frasier. FrasIer. Frazier. Frasier.

[A]

Okay, what do you got?

[B]

McMullen.

[D]

Solid.

[A]

So close. Lunchbox.

[C]

This goes high up in the sky. Give me Frasier Crane.

[B]

Oh, that's it.

[D]

Frasier Crane.

[B]

I knew that.

[A]

The answer is Kunsopolis Fraser Crane.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Amy. You're out. I'm sorry. Oh, you've been boned.

[B]

Cool.

[A]

Lunchbox. And Eddie, what is George's last name in Seinfeld? 1, 2, 3. Good job. What's Andy's last name in the Andy Griffith Show?

[C]

Oh, man. Oh, say it again.

[A]

What's Andy's last name on the Andy Griffith Show?

[C]

I'm in for the win.

[A]

Lunchbox.

[C]

Griffith. Just like you said. You almost got me.

[A]

Almost got. I almost got him.

[D]

Y' all got so close.

[A]

Yeah, Eddie.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Griffith. Griffith.

[A]

Griffith. Oh, my God. Are you serious?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Are you serious? I thought you're having a laugh at him.

[D]

No, no, no. Griffith is what you said, right?

[A]

I thought you were having a laugh at him because he. He answered Griffith and I thought we were, like, both laughing.

[D]

No, no, I wasn't.

[A]

Opie's last name on Andy Griffith's show.

[D]

Opie?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

The kid.

[A]

Yeah. Griffith. No, no, L.B. taylor.

[E]

It's Andy Taylor.

[A]

It's Obi Taylor. It's Opie Griffith.

[D]

And who the heck is Andy Griffith?

[A]

He's the actual person.

[C]

What? Hold on, hold on. Andy Griffin, the sheriff guy?

[A]

Is Andy Taylor on the show? Seriously, what is the show on the Cosby Show? What's Bill's last name?

[D]

Cosby.

[A]

Huxtable.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay, okay, so his character's name is Andy Taylor. But the actor playing him is Andy Griffith, which is so confusing, they call it Andy Griffith Show.

[C]

Very confusing.

[A]

Guys, this is having like 10 shows where they just change.

[C]

I'm just now realizing it because you said the Cosby's and now my mind is really spinning.

[D]

I know.

[C]

Oh, my gosh. I should have thought about that a little harder.

[D]

And I did laugh too, because I'm like, oh, he's gonna get this wrong. You just said it because it's Cliff

[A]

Huxtable on the Cosby Show.

[D]

Why would it be called Cosby Show?

[A]

Right, that's my point. So just because the name of the person. Okay, all right. You guys are still in it. Man.

[C]

We are back. Dude. Hey, Opie Griffith. Oh, man, I should have really thought.

[A]

What's Blanche's last name? From the Golden Girls.

[C]

Good night.

[B]

Oh, I know this one. Dang.

[A]

You guys both don't know.

[C]

I got a guess.

[D]

Blanche.

[A]

Yeah, Blanch.

[B]

Can I get back in?

[A]

Nah, but you can tell them once it's over.

[B]

Okay, thank you.

[D]

I'm in.

[A]

Lunchbox.

[C]

What do you have? Right.

[D]

Eddie Golden.

[B]

Amy Devereaux.

[A]

Blanche Devereaux.

[D]

Yeah, Devereaux.

[A]

What is Rachel's last name? And friends.

[D]

I'm in.

[C]

Well, all right. Which one do you want to go with?

[E]

What?

[A]

She has one last name.

[C]

Ah, no, no, not true. Rachel. Wait, who did you say? Who did you say?

[A]

You just said it. One second.

[C]

Did you say Rachel or Monica?

[D]

Like.

[A]

No, you literally repeated me three times.

[C]

I wanted to make sure I heard. I. I'm just going. Oh, my gosh. Thank you. I got it.

[A]

Griffith. No, Rachel got it. What?

[C]

Green.

[A]

Eddie Green. Correct.

[D]

What were you thinking of?

[C]

I was thinking Geller. Because she married Ross.

[D]

Oh, that's Monica.

[C]

No, she married Ross.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Rachel and Ross at the end did not. They got married for. Did she change her name ever, though? I don't think she ever changed her name.

[C]

I mean, I. I didn't watch.

[A]

What's Archie's last name in all in the Family?

[D]

I'm in.

[C]

I'm in for the win.

[A]

Lunchbox Bunker.

[D]

Eddie Bunker.

[A]

Correct.

[C]

I don't know what that is.

[A]

What's Sheldon's last name on Big Bang Theory?

[C]

In for the win. Yeah. Look at me, buddy. I got it.

[A]

All Eddie did was look at lunchboxes. Eddie doesn't know.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Sheldon.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

Why am I thinking this name? You know it for sure.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

Sheldon.

[D]

Oh,

[A]

all right. Need an answer here.

[C]

Oh, man.

[D]

Dang it. I'm in.

[C]

He didn't get it.

[A]

Eddie Bang. Sheldon Bang From Big Bang theory.

[C]

It's a good job.

[A]

Lunchbox for the win.

[C]

Cooper.

[A]

Sheldon Cooper.

[C]

Winner.

[D]

Winner.

[A]

Winner.

[E]

Winner.

[A]

Hey. That was more fun than I thought it would be. I'm sorry you didn't get to play much.

[B]

That's okay.

[A]

Yeah. We'll save some of these for another game. Eddie is wondering if he overreacted toward his kids.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

What did they do?

[D]

They did something that I hate when people do. Okay, so we were going someplace, and there was a cop in the front. And he saw my whole family walking in, right? Like, me, my four boys. My four boys were in front. Cop looks at us, opens the door, holds the door for all of us and our boys like a row of ducks. Just, like, didn't say thank you at all. I said, boys, stop. Stop. What do we say to the officer that held the door open? Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Thank you. And I was like, no, that's it. Like, that makes me so mad. I've taught them way better than that. So I grounded them. They had chores all day. Oh, when we got home, there were chores all day. You, you're mowing the backyard. You, you're mowing the front yard. You, you're edging the yard. And after that, we're going to fold all the clothes, and you're going to find the mismatching socks, and you're going to put them all together.

[A]

And so what lesson did you want them to learn?

[D]

When someone holds the door open for you, you say, thank you.

[A]

Did it matter even more that it was a police officer?

[D]

Didn't matter.

[A]

Okay, so anybody. Just have respect if it was an

[D]

old lady holding the door, like, say thank you. They acted like. Like they were supposed to have the door open for them.

[B]

Oh, yeah, that's.

[D]

I hate it when people act like that.

[A]

Remember the guy that. He's holding the door for Amy, and then he let it go and it hit her.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I said, thank you. And to be clear, he wasn't holding the door for me. And he wanted me to know that.

[A]

And he said, you can do it yourself.

[B]

He definitely did not have parents that made him do chores.

[A]

How do you feel about him punishing his kid like that?

[B]

I think that's fine.

[A]

I think it's fine, too. Sometimes you go crazy. The one time you made your son sing I'm looking at the man in the mirror over and over again.

[D]

Yeah, because I said, look, it's gonna have to start with you. The man in the mirror.

[A]

So you made him sing Michael Jackson for hours in the mirror in the bathroom. I Thought that was a little overboard. Or the time you made him eat baloney sandwiches for days at time.

[D]

Same kid. Because I'm like, if you're going to have bad grades, then you just expect to not have a good job. You're not going to be able to afford good food. You're going to eat bologna sandwiches.

[A]

And how many days?

[D]

That one felt like forever.

[A]

Yeah. So that one I felt was a little overboard, too. I don't hate this one.

[D]

All right.

[A]

Good lunchbox.

[C]

Oh, man. This is all Eddie. His wife said, this is what I need you to do today. And Eddie made his kids do it. That's exactly what he did. Way overreaction. You want your kids to hate you just because they didn't say thank you one time? You make them cut the grass, fold the laundry. Wow, you are intense.

[D]

Let me ask you this, lunchbox.

[C]

Oh, my God. I would hate you as a parent.

[D]

If somebody. If you held the door open for someone and they didn't say thank you, how would you feel?

[C]

I'm not gonna make them mow my grass and do my laundry.

[D]

How does it make you feel when someone doesn't say thank you when you hold the door for them?

[C]

I just tell them, you're welcome. Sarcastically. That's rude.

[A]

But what about your kids? You're teaching them. You're instilling values.

[C]

Correct?

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

You go back and tell them, hey, you need to say thank you. But making him go home and scrub the tile with a toothbrush seems crazy.

[D]

No, but the reason I told them, boys, what do we tell the officer? And they answered, thank you is because I've told them a million times before that when someone holds the door open, you say, thank you.

[A]

I don't hate it.

[D]

Thank you.

[A]

You're welcome. See, I didn't get punished there. Yeah. Question. Would you rather know how you die or when you die? But you have to know one of the two.

[C]

God, oh, God, I hate this. Like, this is terrible.

[A]

You have to know one of the two. Like, I'm gonna force you to understand either A, how you die or B, when you die.

[B]

Can I ask, like, is it the exact date or is it more?

[D]

Yeah. Oh. Can you change anything about. No. So you can't. Like, if you're gonna die from a heart attack, you can't eat better.

[A]

Well, you're still gonna die of a heart attack.

[C]

Or if you're gonna die in a car wreck, never get in a car again.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Right.

[A]

Then a car hits you.

[B]

Okay, so we have to think this through. Like, would I rather Know? Yeah. If I'm gonna die in a car wreck, I just don't know when. Or if I'm gonna.

[E]

Or when.

[B]

I don't know how, but I know I'm gonna die today.

[A]

Well, I mean, you're going, yeah.

[C]

Amy, it could be today. It could be 50 years from now.

[A]

It could be today, but it could be 50 years.

[B]

Well, if the answer is 50 years from now, then that's my answer. I want to know. No, you don't need to know. That's the thing.

[A]

Do you want to know how you're going to die and you have to pick? Or when you're going to die?

[C]

What? This is sick.

[D]

It's sick.

[C]

It is sick. I don't know how you came up with this. This is terrible. It's an easy answer.

[A]

I think I go, man, I've changed, like, three times.

[B]

I go back and forth, too.

[A]

I think I'm going to go, how? And I'm going to tell you why. If I'm just playing the odds here, there is a decent chance I die old and of whatever the natural cause is. And so if that's the case, I don't think that is as jarring to me as knowing I only have three years, two months, and six days left. Now, the news I get could be bad, it could be worse. I'm just going odds here, because if it's like, here's how you die. You fall onto a single nail and. Oh, yeah, yeah, right. So I'm gonna go, how you.

[B]

I'm gonna go, when?

[A]

Wow, that's hard.

[C]

Then you're counting down, Amy.

[B]

Yeah, well, I'll be able to spend my time wisely.

[C]

And it won't matter what you eat, because you know you're gonna die either way on that day.

[A]

I guess it does give you freedom.

[C]

Again.

[B]

If it says 50 years, then, no, I'm not gonna just, like, do whatever I want.

[A]

Why not?

[C]

I feel like crap.

[A]

I'm doing heroin. What?

[B]

Well, what if you have? So you for sure can't die earlier?

[A]

That's correct.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

It's already been established.

[A]

If you say 50 years, I'm a superhero because I know I can't die. I'm jumping off buildings. I am now a superhero.

[D]

You jump off a building, you're like,

[A]

yeah, somehow still didn't kill me, knew I wasn't gonna die.

[B]

I mean, you could be. You could still be alive, but paralyzed. Amy, the logic, yeah, I'm gonna go with when, Eddie.

[D]

I'm gonna be just like Amy. I'm gonna say, when. Because I want to know when. Like, if it's in a day.

[A]

We know yours, though. We have the death clock out. Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Like, if it's three years, let's get living just like old Tim McGraw, you know, like, just do it. But if it's 50 years from now,

[A]

whatever, then you better save big time for retirement.

[D]

Yes. Then we start working.

[A]

Lunchbox.

[C]

My first thought was, oh, this is easy. You want to know when? Because then I have to. I don't have to worry about retirement. Or I do have to worry about retirement. Am I going to have enough money? But then that just made me depressed because I would just be looking at the clock going, man, in six more weeks, I'm dead. So I'm going to go with Hal. Give me how I'm dying. That's it.

[A]

What was your logic to get there?

[C]

Just the. The. The clock counting down was more depressing to me than the way I just.

[D]

But what if it's like, you're going to drown? Okay. Every single time you go to the pool.

[C]

I would have. I wouldn't go to.

[D]

No, no, you're going to go to the pool, and every single time you're going to think, this could be the day.

[C]

You're right.

[A]

Well, but you could also be 93 in a bathtub.

[D]

True. But you don't know. You just. All you know is drowned.

[A]

Right.

[C]

I would start having a fear of water. Yes, but it's better than the clock.

[A]

This dark segment brought to you by. There's no sponsor.

[C]

Hey, everyone, it's Kal Penn. I'm the host of Irsay the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Ray Porter, the narrator of Andy Weir's audiobook project, Hail Mary Massive Sci fi adventure about survival and science and what happens when you wake up alone, very far from Earth.

[D]

I really had to make a decision because I caught myself getting that frog in my throat and starting to get teary as I'm narrating some of these sections. And it's like, okay, yo, yo, yo. Is this indulgent? And I really thought about it. I was like, no. At this point, it would kind of be betraying the trust the author and the listener have in telling this story if I don't go through it. But there's places in this book that deeply, emotionally affected me. And I left it on the mic. That's great because it served the story. People will say, like, oh, my God, I cried at the end. It's like, yeah, dude, me too.

[C]

Listen to Irsay The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[E]

Ice Cube's Big 3 Season 9 is coming down to the wire. The playoffs are here. The action starts with the legendary Big three Celebrity Game. Then the Chicago Triplets led by Montrez Harrell and coach Dr. J take on Coach Gary Pay and the Boston Ball hogs, followed by two time MVP Michael Beasley and the defending champion Miami 305 facing Nancy Lieberman's Dallas Power three games of the most physical, competitive and non stop three on three action. Watch live Saturday on CBS at 12pm Eastern, 9am Pacific and catch replays Monday on BET. Presented by iHeart.

[B]

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[A]

It's the Anonymous inbox. Anonymous inbox if there's a question to be had. Hello Bobby Bones. About three months ago, I received a panicked call from my aunt concerning my cousin. She lost her full ride scholarship after deciding they're going to class wasn't working for her, so she begged me to let my cousin stay with me for a few weeks so she could figure things out. Three months later, she's still sleeping on my couch, not paying rent, eating my food, and doesn't appear to be doing much in the way of figuring things out. I've told my aunt something's got to give and she's spoken to her, but I'm not optimistic that things are going to change anytime soon. What's my recourse? Here, sign cousins on my couch. You got squatted. You got squatted by family.

[B]

Man. That's a hard conversation to have. But it's got to happen if you're

[A]

not seeing that cousin slowly moving out. Like if she's not already making plans or having conversations or looking for Places, or then it's an absolute. You have to be out by this date conversation.

[D]

Right.

[A]

It's family.

[B]

Yeah. You need a plan. We need a deadline. Yep.

[A]

I think you avoid going. You got to be out by the end of the week. I think you go, I know you've been going through a lot. I'm here for you. Let's find a date to get you moved out by, get you transitioned by, and let's set a date. So we're both motivated to do that.

[B]

Yeah. And if they happen to be overwhelmed by that, because I'm just thinking of different personality types. Maybe you have the gift of. Of some organization or helping them with the next step and figuring it out. Like, you could also be like, is. Is. Is there something overwhelming about this? Where I can. I can help you? Like, should we go look at places? Like, what's going on? And let's take a look at stuff, because maybe they just need a little. A little help if you're in that situation. I could see getting overwhelmed and just ignoring it.

[A]

Yeah. It also feels like somebody's just lazy if they just stop going to class.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You just put their stuff out. Yeah.

[D]

If they leave, figure it out.

[A]

Well, that's. That's the final, final, final option. And it's going to be probably a little awkward within the family, but it's, hey, we need to get you out by this point. And if they keep kicking the can, you wait for them to leave and you put all their stuff out, then you change the locks and they got to go home, and you let the mom know, because mom's gonna be like, I get it. I get it. But I think it is, hey, you've been sitting here a while, but let's. Let's figure something out for you, but let's find a date that you're fully transitioned by. And it can be two months down the road. You still lose a little because you're still on the couch. I'm assuming it's they said she. Right.

[D]

I'm assuming it's a she.

[B]

I feel like.

[D]

I don't think.

[A]

Yeah, she lost her fellowship.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. But then I think at the end, it's easy.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Put it out there.

[B]

Now we're getting into the territory where you're enabling.

[A]

So, yeah, good luck with that. Find a positive way to approach it, and then you have to hit it dead on if that doesn't work. But that is awkward because it's family. Yeah. Good luck.

[C]

All right.

[A]

Close it up in the morning. To put you through m Riding his wigs. Next bit now. Bobby's on the mic. So you know what this is? This is the Bobby now. Time for the morning corny.

[C]

The morning corny.

[B]

What is it called when you get a hangover from wine?

[A]

What is it called when you get a hangover from wine?

[B]

The great Depression.

[A]

Grape depression.

[C]

That was the morning corny.

[A]

All right, voicemail.

[B]

I'm listening to Friday's episode two, and he's talking about Lindsey Vaughn and her

[A]

bikini and how she looks.

[B]

And he always talks about women like that.

[A]

I just wonder how his wife feels when he talks about other women like that. Or is it just a character that he plays for. For the show?

[B]

Thanks. Love the show. I just.

[A]

Referring to lunchbox. I also thought because he was talking about how fast that she bounced back from surgery, but he just kept referring to her in a bikini or she

[C]

was in a bikini on a paddle board. Yeah, that was the picture.

[A]

You just kept going, oh, bikini. So what does your wife think about that?

[C]

I mean, she knows that guys are gonna look at other women. She probably looks at other guys. I mean, that's just the nature of humanity. And so I don't think she has a problem with it. She's never said anything about it, so I don't think she minds. I can tell her, hey, man, look how hot she looks.

[B]

You say that when y' all are in public.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Together.

[A]

You see another woman in a bikini, you could be like, wow, look how hot she looks in that bikini.

[C]

Yeah. Or I'll say, man, why is that lady wearing a bikini?

[D]

What?

[B]

Oh, so you go both ways.

[A]

That one, I don't think that one would be received the same.

[D]

What does he mean by that? Like, she shouldn't be wearing.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

The other one I could understand. Yeah. The second. The one. That one's mean. But the other one, I just feel like you want to be received well by your wife.

[C]

She doesn't seem to mind, man.

[A]

All right, next up.

[C]

I just got back from getting a massage. My wife goes, did you tip the masseuse? I'm like, I didn't know I was supposed to tip the masseuse. She goes, oh, I always tip him 20 bucks. I'm like, well, how am I supposed to know that?

[A]

Like, to hear from you.

[C]

Thanks, team.

[A]

Yeah, that's one of those that someone kind of has to tell you, because if you're paying cash, you don't know if you go to the little thing and pay afterward. They do put a tip line there. So I guess that could be an indicator but if it's someone that's their own business, you don't really have to tip. But if it's someone that's working for a business, you probably should tip a masseuse because they have to give some of that money to the business. It's just complicated as a tipping culture is so confusing now and at times out of control that it's ruining it for everybody. I used to get tipped all the time. I don't get a single tip now. People are confused.

[B]

Really?

[C]

Yep.

[B]

Man.

[A]

I know. I used to have a jar on my desk here, and people just walk in from the streets, put tips in, but now they can't. So, yeah, that's. It's almost like a Netflix show. Unless a friend tells you you don't know.

[D]

How do you tip the masseuse cash? Like, do you give it to them after the service is done or do you leave it on the bed?

[B]

You can. I mean, I think like Bobby said, it's different if they are Own their own business or you're at a spa or. Because when you're checking out, the person working might be like, do you want to leave gratuity for your.

[D]

If I feel like cash is different,

[A]

I just put in their pocket. Slide it in there.

[B]

Yeah, you could, I guess, Eddie, because

[A]

they leave the room, if you have cash on you, they leave the room so you can get dressed again. You can leave it there.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

You can leave it anywhere. I'm telling you, it's. Everything is so confusing now. But that's what's up. All right. Thank you. Voicemail us anytime you want questions. Comments. 8, 7, 7, 7.

[D]

Bobby.

[A]

Bobby Bone Show Bonehead Story of the day.

[C]

This story comes to us from Atlanta, Georgia. Two people were at the IKEA furniture store, and they decided, let's test out this mattress. They're laying there, and then they start kissing then getting a little handsy.

[A]

No way.

[C]

And so they've been banned from ikea.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Did it stop with the kiss?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Did you stop or did it stop?

[C]

It stopped. They said they were kissing, getting handsy, and things were getting steamy.

[A]

So they were getting to, like, third base.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And they stopped them before they can go.

[A]

Or did they stop? Either way, they got kicked out. But who stopped? I need to know.

[C]

I think an IKEA employee stopped them.

[B]

You would think.

[D]

Yeah. Because they were steamy. Right. They were getting there.

[B]

If they stopped, then they. They wouldn't be boneheads. Right.

[A]

If you're doing hand stuff and I. Yeah.

[B]

I don't know. On the display what would it be like to be that attracted to somebody? Hey.

[A]

Well, I. I can tell you because I am. That's how I'm with my wife back in the day. No, no, now.

[E]

Oh, now. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Dang.

[A]

Must be different for you.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Really different.

[A]

All right.

[C]

I'm Lunchbox. That's your bonehead story of the day.

[A]

I was watching a clip of a guy with a metal detector going through a beach, and he's like, I found something. He's digging it up, and it's in a bucket. And he slowly does the water to get all the sand to go out of the bucket. And in the end, there's a ring in it, and it's a Texas A and M ring.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. Okay.

[A]

And for those that don't know, Amy's Texas A and M ring was stolen from her house at, like, a burglary years ago. And Amy's offered, like, $50,000 to get it back or something.

[B]

You have offered 1500. Is it?

[A]

I forget. But we can't get a ring back. We've checked everywhere. Pawn shops. We've called criminals, been like, yo, what's up? You know? Anything? Nope. All right, check it. Check in later. Nothing. Okay, so here you go. This is the craziest thing I've ever seen. Finger quotes. Found metal at the beach. Hit it. Oh, my goodness.

[B]

Dude.

[E]

Wow.

[A]

That's a class ring. Texas A M University.

[C]

Yeah, it's.

[A]

It's 10K. Yeah, it has a full name inscribed in it. I'm not going to show that part, but this thing is so unreasonably heavy. This has to be at least. At least 30 grams.

[C]

That's what it feels like.

[B]

It must be a male ring. Yeah, the male rings are so much bigger. The. The women's rings are a little daintier. I'll be able to see if it's male right away.

[D]

Where is the beach located?

[A]

By the ocean.

[B]

But which part of the country?

[C]

That's crazy.

[A]

The edge. The coast. Okay, but east coast, west coast, the ocean.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, wait, so here's the ring?

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

That's a guy ring.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

How crazy would it have been if that was your ring?

[D]

And didn't yours have a stone on it, too?

[B]

Mine has a diamond in the middle.

[A]

You found a text A and M ring. It's not Amy's.

[D]

That ring doesn't look very rusted or anything.

[C]

No, it looks like it's brand new in the sand.

[A]

It looks older, though. 20. What's 20 on for?

[B]

I mean, is that class of 20 mine? Says 03.

[A]

Well, that's not it. We were led astray again. That is from Clara Junekanor on it looks like Twitter.

[B]

I can't wait for the day that we find it. And I've thought over the last year for sure about just ordering a new one so that I can have it. And then I'm like, no, if I do that, then I'm giving up on finding the original.

[A]

I don't know that that's true, but I understand why you'd feel that way. You could do both. You could buy a new one and still want the original. But then what's the use? Why want that anymore? It's a bit if you don't. If you want the bit to die, get the ring.

[B]

No, I want the ring to show up and I know it's out there. That's the thing.

[D]

It could be melted.

[A]

It could have been taken to Mexico and melted.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Or just melt in America. But I always think everything's taken to Mexico and done because that's where they

[D]

did the bad stuff.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know. I feel like they. Anytime the bad stuff's done, it's like taken down there and done and then not here. Which is unfair of me to think, but that's just what I've been told. That is all for today. Goodbye everybody. The Bobby Bone show theme song written, produced and sang by reedyarberry. You can find his Instagram eadyarberry, Scuba Steve Executive Producer Raymundo Head of Production I'm Bobby Bones. My Instagram is Mr. Bobby Bones. Thank you for listening to the podcast. Living with a rare autoimmune condition brings uncertainty, but it can also create community. In season six of Untold Stories, life with a severe autoimmune condition, they go beyond MG and cidp as host Martine Hackett welcomed stories from other conditions like myositis and IgAN into the conversation. Untold Stories is produced by Ruby Studio in partnership with Argenics. Listen to Untold Stories Life with a severe autoimmune condition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[E]

Ice Cube's Big Three Season 9 is coming down to the wire. The playoffs are here. The action starts with the legendary Big three celebrity game. Then the Chicago Triplets, led by Montrez Harrell and and coach Dr. J, take on coach Gary Payton and the Boston Ball Hogs, followed by two time MVP Michael Beasley and the defending champion Miami 305. Facing Nancy Lieberman's Dallas Power. Three games of the most physical, competitive and non stop. Three on three action watch live Saturday on CBS at 12pm Eastern, 9am Pacific and catch replays Monday on BET presented by iHeart.

[B]

When you're a maintenance engineer in a beverage manufacturing plant, you keep production lines moving and quality on track because there is no room for slowdowns. With Grainger's vast selection of high quality motors, sensors, belts and hard to find parts, you can get what you need fast and all in one place so nothing gets in the way of getting the job done. Call 1-800-GRAINGER click granger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.

[D]

Honestly, Honestly, honestly, no one wants to think about hiv, but there are things that everyone can do to help prevent it. Things like prep. PREP stands for Pre Exposure Prophylaxis and it means routinely taking prescription medicine before you're exposed to HIV to help reduce your chances of getting it. Prep can be about 99% effective when taken as prescribed. It doesn't protect against other STIs, though, so be sure to use condoms and other healthy sex practices. Ask a healthcare provider about all your prevention Options and visit findoutaboutprep.com to learn more.

[A]

Sponsored by Gilead, this is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.