WEDS PT 2: Bobby Reveals His Top 3 Worst Interview Moments + Eddie's Crazy Pregnancy Story

Summary

The Bobby Bones Show: WEDS PT 2 Summary

Episode Title: WEDS PT 2: Bobby Reveals His Top 3 Worst Interview Moments + Eddie's Crazy Pregnancy Story
Release Date: January 8, 2025
Host: Bobby Bones, Premiere Networks

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1. Introduction to the Segment: "Good Story, Bad Story"

At [02:29], Bobby Bones introduces a new segment titled "Good Story, Bad Story." The premise involves sharing a particularly challenging or embarrassing story (Bad Story) followed by a more uplifting or positive one (Good Story).

---

2. Bad Story: Eddie's Crazy Pregnancy Tale

[02:48 - 06:10]

Bobby kicks off the segment with a bad story about his friend Eddie's pregnancy experience. The narrative revolves around multiple false alarms during labor, where Eddie's wife repeatedly claimed she was in labor, leading to rushed trips to the hospital. Despite Eddie's frustration, culminating in him demanding a McMuffin from McDonald's during one of these trips ([04:37]), the situation escalated to a point where Bobby considered skipping the good story to let the humorous yet tense memory stand on its own.

Notable Quote:

Bobby Bones [04:37]: "You demanded a McMuffin as she's driving herself to have a baby and got breakfast."

The tension in Eddie's story highlights the strain and humor found in the unpredictability of impending parenthood. The episode underscores the importance of communication and trust within relationships, especially during critical moments.

---

3. Bobby’s Top 3 Worst Interview Moments

[07:00 - 12:00]

Bobby shares his top three worst interview moments, each filled with awkwardness and unexpected challenges.

• 3. Interview with Wendy Williams ([08:24])

  Bobby recounts an interview with Wendy Williams that did not go as planned. Initially, he intended to discuss her book and Tupac, but Wendy shifted the focus to promote a mall appearance. Frustrated by the lack of engagement, Wendy abruptly ended the interview, declaring:

  Wendy Williams ([08:45]): "You'll never be me."

  This response left Bobby feeling blindsided, especially since his questions were genuine and respectful.

• 2. Hank Williams Jr. and the Cigar Controversy ([09:42])

  During an interview with Hank Williams Jr., Bobby tried to discuss the artist's music. However, the conversation derailed when Hank expressed anger over a smoking policy in the building:

  Hank Williams Jr. ([10:10]): "I want to smoke."

  The ensuing awkwardness led to Hank abruptly leaving the interview, showcasing the unpredictability of live conversations.

• 1. Sarah Evans’ On-Air Fall ([11:24])

  In what Bobby considers the most unsettling experience, Sarah Evans, a singer, lost her balance and fell off her chair during an on-air interview ([11:24]). Bobby faced a split-second decision: address the potential injury seriously or maintain humor to keep the atmosphere light. Choosing humor, he remarked:

  Bobby Bones ([12:05]): "That's a pretty stupid as like, as a full person."

  This incident not only tested Bobby's composure but also deepened his relationship with Sarah, as they later became better acquainted.

---

4. Incident Involving a Rapper and Accidental Gunshot

[06:32 - 08:10]

Bobby narrates a bizarre incident where a rapper named Mike D accidentally shot himself during a podcast ([06:32]). The mishap occurred when Mike D casually handled his gun, leading to an accidental discharge. Remarkably, the podcast continued despite the serious incident.

Notable Quote:

Bobby Bones [06:50]: "Choices we got in life. Those were your choices. Who shot who?"

This story emphasizes the unpredictability of live radio and the fine line hosts walk between professionalism and unexpected chaos.

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5. Announcement of New Ventures: NFL Deal and "Lots to Say" Podcast

[23:04 - 27:44]

Bobby reveals two significant professional developments:

• NFL Deal ([22:55] - [23:53]):

  Bobby humorously announces that he has signed a deal with the NFL. While the details are partly tongue-in-cheek, he mentions launching a new podcast titled "Lots to Say," featuring former Pro Bowl quarterback Matt Castle and appearances from NFL personalities like Kurt Warner and Tim McGraw.

  Notable Quote:

  Bobby Bones [23:10]: "I signed a deal with the NFL. That's all I'm saying."

• "Lots to Say" Podcast ([23:53] - [27:44]):

  The new podcast aims to delve deeper into sports narratives, featuring in-depth interviews and discussions about players' careers and personal insights. Bobby highlights his conversation with Kurt Warner, praising his appearance and demeanor.

---

6. In-Depth Discussion on Elvis Presley

[15:33 - 22:55]

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to Elvis Presley, blending humor, speculation, and personal anecdotes about the legendary singer.

• Speculations About Elvis’ Survival ([15:33] - [22:55]):

  Bobby and his co-hosts delve into various Elvis rumors, including the possibility of his survival post-1977 and stories about his pet chimpanzee, Scatter. They discuss the authenticity of claims regarding Elvis' whereabouts and the allure of his enduring legacy.

  Notable Quotes:

  Bobby Bones [16:44]: "Elvis is probably dead or in witness relocation."

  Amy [22:10]: "They don't want anyone up there."

• Call from Laura Regarding Elvis’ Death ([38:06] - [42:55]):

  Laura, a guest caller, shares her family's connection to Elvis, revealing that her mother-in-law's ex-husband was the mortician who embalmed Elvis. This revelation leads to a discussion about the legalities surrounding embalming and confidentiality.

  Notable Quote:

  Laura [39:07]: "He actually embalmed Elvis. So I could probably say that I could confirm that Elvis is really dead."

  The conversation underscores the challenges of verifying celebrity death rumors and the ethical boundaries morticians must adhere to.

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7. News Bites and Lighthearted Topics

[27:44 - 44:00]

Beyond personal stories, the show touches on various news topics and engages in playful banter.

• JetBlue Incident ([29:56] - [32:10]):

  Bobby discusses a tragic news story where two bodies were found in the landing gear compartment of a JetBlue plane. The conversation speculates on how the individuals accessed such a restricted area.

• Parasitic Worm Alert in Texas ([32:10] - [33:21]):

  The hosts inform listeners about the resurgence of the New World screwworm fly in South Texas, emphasizing public awareness and preventive measures.

  Notable Quote:

  Bobby Bones [33:21]: "If you're irritated, you have a loss of appetite, your head is shaking, smell of knees are weak. Fish or flesh."

• "Mental Health Cake Reveal" Story ([37:34] - [53:04]):

  Bobby shares a heartwarming story about a friend who used a cake reveal to announce her ADHD diagnosis, promoting mental health awareness in a creative way. The discussion explores the intersection of personal challenges and innovative coping mechanisms.

  Notable Quote:

  Bobby Bones [50:00]: "It's weird, but weird doesn't mean wrong or bad. But good for her for doing that to make it not be such a negative."

• Sleeping Naked Debate ([35:00] - [44:00]):

  The hosts engage in a humorous debate about the benefits and drawbacks of sleeping naked, touching on personal habits and preferences.

  Notable Quote:

  Bobby Bones [35:46]: "There's reason I don't sleep naked. One, it pinches between my legs, and then two, every once in a while, it dribbles, and I don't want that."

---

8. Closing Segment: Listener Stories and Final Thoughts

[53:30 - End]

The episode concludes with Bobby reflecting on the day's discussions, emphasizing the importance of honesty and openness in sharing personal experiences. He thanks listeners and introduces the show's theme song, leaving the audience with a sense of camaraderie and anticipation for future episodes.

---

Key Takeaways

• Authenticity in Interviews: Bobby emphasizes the importance of genuine conversation, even when faced with unexpected challenges, as seen in his interactions with Wendy Williams and Hank Williams Jr.

• Humor Amidst Tension: The show highlights how humor can defuse tense situations, particularly in high-stress moments like Sarah Evans' on-air fall.

• Personal Growth and New Ventures: Bobby's announcement of his NFL deal and the launch of the "Lots to Say" podcast signifies his continuous growth and exploration of new avenues in media.

• Legacy and Speculation: The in-depth discussion on Elvis Presley showcases the enduring fascination with celebrity legacies and the human tendency to create and believe in enduring myths.

• Mental Health Awareness: The "Mental Health Cake Reveal" story underscores the innovative ways individuals can promote awareness and reduce stigma around mental health issues.

• Balancing Serious and Lighthearted Topics: The episode adeptly balances serious news bites with playful banter, maintaining an engaging and relatable atmosphere for listeners.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Bobby Bones [04:37]: "You demanded a McMuffin as she's driving herself to have a baby and got breakfast."

• Bobby Bones [06:50]: "Choices we got in life. Those were your choices. Who shot who?"

• Wendy Williams [08:45]: "You'll never be me."

• Bobby Bones [12:05]: "That's a pretty stupid as like, as a full person."

• Bobby Bones [15:33]: "Elvis is probably dead or in witness relocation."

• Laura [39:07]: "He actually embalmed Elvis. So I could probably say that I could confirm that Elvis is really dead."

• Bobby Bones [50:00]: "It's weird, but weird doesn't mean wrong or bad. But good for her for doing that to make it not be such a negative."

• Bobby Bones [35:46]: "There's reason I don't sleep naked. One, it pinches between my legs, and then two, every once in a while, it dribbles, and I don't want that."

---

Note: This summary selectively includes pertinent dialogues and narratives to provide a comprehensive overview while adhering to the request to exclude advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections.

Transcript

[Bobby Bones]

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[Bobby Bones]

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[Bobby Bones]

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[Ed Zitron]

Cash expires in six months hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast, and this January we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada to cover the Consumer Electronics show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025. I'll be joined by David Roth of Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. With guest appearances from behind the Bastards, Robert Evans, it could happen. Here's Gair Davis and a few surprise guests throughout the Listen to Better offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from.

[Jason Alexander]

I'm Jason Alexander.

[Peter Tilden]

And I'm Peter Tilden, and together our mission on the really Know really podcast.

[Jason Alexander]

Is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions, like why the bathroom.

[Peter Tilden]

Door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum a failure and does your dog Truly Love youe? We have the answer.

[Jason Alexander]

Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win.

[Peter Tilden]

$500, a guest spot on our podcast or a limited edition sign. Jason Bobblehead the Really no really Podcast.

[Jason Alexander]

Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Bobby Bones]

Wake up, you wake up in the morning, then you turn the radio On. And the dial just keeps on turning. Steve trying to put you through. Mike D's riding his wigs. Next bit. And Bobby's on the mic. So you know what?

[Amy]

This.

[Bobby Bones]

This is the Bobby Vaughn. I want to do a segment called Good Story, Bad Story, and we're going to start with the bad story. It's bad about Eddie.

[Amy]

Oh, no.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, you're not gonna like it, but we have a good story afterward to make it even again.

[Amy]

About me, too.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, Good story, bad story.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Bobby Bones]

And the only reason I made the bit up, because you sound like such a jerk in this first story that I wanted to, like, make it a good part, too. Oh, it's old, though. Amy's the one that reminded me of it.

[Eddie]

Well, I was reminded of it because his wife told the story.

[Amy]

Oh, no. I know this story. This is so not.

[Bobby Bones]

Why are you getting upset?

[Eddie]

Because I know his wife told it.

[Bobby Bones]

Story, bad story. Amy, take it away.

[Eddie]

So she was in labor on her way to the hospital.

[Bobby Bones]

Do you think that mattered? Second child. Like, what context does that matter?

[Amy]

In case anyone's wondering?

[Eddie]

Okay, second child in labor. I don't really know exactly where Eddie is, but she's driving herself to the hospital, passenger seat. Okay, so wait, what? Well, she was just.

[Bobby Bones]

She's going into labor, and you're riding in the passenger seat.

[Eddie]

It's just got worse. To be clear, I thought she was driving herself because he was nowhere to be found, but Eddie was hungry, so she stopped at McDonald's and got him a McMuffin.

[Bobby Bones]

You demanded a McMuffin as she's driving herself to have a baby and got breakfast.

[Eddie]

Then she continued on her way to the hospital and then gave birth to their baby.

[Bobby Bones]

The two questions. One, why aren't you driving?

[Amy]

Can I tell my side of the story?

[Bobby Bones]

Absolutely.

[Amy]

So we had already gone to the hospital four times because she said, I'm having a baby. So the first time this happened, we were like, let's go. I drove. I didn't get breakfast. We rushed to the hospital. Ma'am, you're dehydrated. No baby. We go home. Second time, I'm having the baby. I get in the driver's seat, no breakfast, drive to the hospital, no baby. This is the fourth time, so I'm like, false alarm. If we're gonna do this, you're driving. I'm going to get breakfast, and we'll get to the hospital when we get to the hospital. Turns out that's a bad move because.

[Eddie]

We'Re having the baby, right?

[Bobby Bones]

I don't know. We don't have kids yet. We're gonna have kids someday. I feel like every time, even if it were 19 times, I would drive exactly. Like there would never get to, like, a threshold of.

[Lunchbox]

You.

[Bobby Bones]

You've cried wolf too many times. You're now gonna drive. Prove it.

[Eddie]

Right?

[Bobby Bones]

Right. Am I crazy for thinking that?

[Eddie]

Not at all.

[Amy]

I think I did drive to McDonald's and then she took it from there.

[Bobby Bones]

You switched over.

[Amy]

Did you eat your McMuffin?

[Eddie]

This is not the story I got. No, no, no. She told this story, and I'm telling you she was driving and she went through the drive through to get it for him.

[Amy]

I was shocked. When we got to the hospital, the doctor said, you're having the baby. I'm like, oh, no, I should have driven.

[Lunchbox]

I mean, but in real reality, you do have time to go to the drive thru in most pregnancies.

[Bobby Bones]

No, no, no.

[Amy]

The doctor said the baby's coming out.

[Bobby Bones]

I don't think you risk it. I don't think it may be on the way back or you. Dude, that's hilarious, man.

[Amy]

I mean, so half of the story is true.

[Bobby Bones]

No, you made it worse, though, when you said that she was driving because Amy didn't even know that my wife loves.

[Eddie]

No, no, he made it worse. So, yeah, when he said he was in the passenger, I knew she was driving, but I figured she was meeting him at the hospital.

[Bobby Bones]

That's bad too.

[Eddie]

No, we were, but he was right there.

[Bobby Bones]

That's so funny. Only because four times it happened. He's like, well, I will not do this.

[Amy]

The fifth time, that was like, false alarm again. We're not rushing this time.

[Eddie]

Like, in my mind, he was at work and she was like, okay, I'll meet you at the hospital. That's why she had to drive. And now we know he was available.

[Bobby Bones]

I don't even want to do good story. I like this. I just want to leave this as it is. We'll do it. We'll do it in the post show podcast. I'll give you a. I'll give a good story. I just want to let this sit and simmer, cuz that's so funny.

[Amy]

Yeah, that's stupid. She loves telling that story, though.

[Bobby Bones]

Also the fact that you're like, oh, God, this. This is the one that had to be real.

[Amy]

You know what's funny too, is every birthday, every time my son celebrates a birthday, we tell that story again.

[Eddie]

Do you go to McMuffins?

[Bobby Bones]

Oh, McMuffins for everybody. Bones, this guy accidentally shot himself during a Podcast. Like, he, like, put the gun on his pants.

[Eddie]

Oh, my gosh.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah. Here. The incident happened on a podcast called One on One with Mike D. Different Mike D than we have. His name is Too Low. He's a rapper. He accidentally fired his gun while reaching his hand in his pocket during an interview and finishes the episode anyway. But here's a clip of that moment. Go ahead. And choices we got in life.

[Amy]

Those were your choices.

[Eddie]

Oh, gosh.

[Bobby Bones]

Who shot who?

[Amy]

Somebody got shot.

[Bobby Bones]

I hope. Y'all good, everybody? Yeah, Everybody good. Oh, reminds me of the scene where Dwight has the gun in the office and actually fires it.

[Amy]

What the.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, my.

[Bobby Bones]

Because everybody should have been scared because anybody could hit. Yeah. Did he shoot himself, or did he just get lucky and nobody get like, he shot himself, right? Yeah.

[Eddie]

Oh, my gosh.

[Bobby Bones]

He did. He kept going with the podcast.

[Amy]

I like how the host immediately just goes, who got shot? Like, we would have been like, what was.

[Bobby Bones]

I don't know who was who. By the way, the guy talking to him was the host. And the guy who got. Who shot himself never said anything. So that was all host.

[Amy]

That was almost.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

Did we ever hear the other guy, kind of that low voice of, like, the groaning. Yeah, that was the guy who shot himself.

[Lunchbox]

Right.

[Bobby Bones]

Would you mind playing that again? Up till the. After the shot and choices we got in life. Those were your choices. Who shot who and rapper two. Little guy.

[Amy]

Somebody got shot.

[Bobby Bones]

He got got. And, yeah, he couldn't see, like, the. Like, the puncture from his side of the room. So he's like, what happened?

[Eddie]

But even still get very casual. Somebody got shot.

[Amy]

That's not how you would do it, Buzz. All right, who shot who?

[Bobby Bones]

I'd have been like, I've been hit. I don't even know if I've been hit. I've been hit. I. So I don't have any gunshot stories, but I was asked my top three most awkward interview interactions at number three, and it sucks. She's sick right now. But it was Wendy Williams. She was on the show. It was a terrible interview. I asked her about something in her book she'd written, but she had come to promote an appearance at the mall, and she didn't want me to ask us something in the book. And I didn't feel like I was, like, taking any liberties at all. And then she was like, you'll never be me. And I'm like, this is bizarre.

[Amy]

Dang.

[Bobby Bones]

Because I wasn't being aggressive in any way. That's why I was so surprised by it. And because I Literally asked questions about Tupac. She written a bunch about her and Tupac. And she was like, you'll never be me. And I'm like, what do you mean? She was like, I'm here to promote a mall appearance. I'm like, I'm trying to do a decent. So anyway, I was like, we can go. And she left, right? And then her. And then at the time, her husband. At the time.

[Eddie]

Yeah, Bodyguard, too.

[Bobby Bones]

Husband and bodyguard was, like, circling the building, waiting for me to come out.

[Amy]

Oh, wow.

[Bobby Bones]

To beat me up, apparently. Dang. I know. And I didn't even do anything to deserve it. Like, I get it. Sometimes I say stuff and I'm like, oh, I get why they're mad. Not a great experience. Didn't like her at all. I'm sad. I'm sorry she's sick. Now, all that. That's number three. Number two, this happened with us. And I'm a big fan of Hank Williams Jr. Awesome. But this video has gone even viral. From the interview. Hank Williams Jr. Came in. I knew nothing of the fact he was fighting with somebody about smoking in the building.

[Eddie]

A cigar.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah. And he's like, I want to smoke. And somebody here rightfully sounds like, you can't smoke in the building. Fire alarms. And he. And he. He was butt hurt about it. I didn't know that. And he comes in, and the whole thing's just awkward. But, like, I stayed true and was like, no, sit there and let's go. Let's do this. Because I thought he was kind of kidding, but he's also old. I didn't know there's a fight about a cigar. Here's a clip. All right. What do you want to do?

[Lunchbox]

I want to get out of here.

[Bobby Bones]

Wait already? We just.

[Lunchbox]

I won't smoke my cigar and get the hell out of here.

[Bobby Bones]

I don't like it.

[Lunchbox]

Now you know. You understand. Can we leave now?

[Bobby Bones]

You just walking.

[Lunchbox]

I'm ready to go.

[Bobby Bones]

All right, goodbye.

[Lunchbox]

I got half. I got a $26 cigar out there. So I've got about, in the words of my uncle, about $10.50 left on it.

[Bobby Bones]

I never knew he wasn't kidding.

[Amy]

I mean, we were still laughing the whole thing.

[Bobby Bones]

I was like, he's being Hank Jr. I've heard. I never met him. Hank's being Hank. And he wasn't mad at Meek. I didn't know. But I didn't know there was a fight about a cigar either. But, yeah, hilarious.

[Amy]

I bet in his mind, he was just watching that cigar burn to nothing while he's sitting in there.

[Bobby Bones]

So many people will send me that video and go, I've never. This interview is hilarious. And I'm like, it wasn't meant to be.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

So that's number two. And I have. No. I'm not angry at him at all. That's just him being him. That was just a really weird interview. And number one, and only a few. You guys were at the house, but Sarah Evans, who sings Got Suds in the Bucket and the Bucket Bucket Bucking and do that's It. A bunch of songs, right? She's at the house, and we're doing a Bobby cast. And I have these two old chairs that we sit in. They're large, and she's, like, leaning back, rocking back in it.

[Eddie]

She's coffee.

[Bobby Bones]

She's rocking back and she wipes out, like, dumps it. Boom.

[Eddie]

Falls back all the way back. Yes, I was there.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, I was.

[Eddie]

I was sitting in that chair right before she was.

[Amy]

I have a mental image of her coffee being floating in the air. Not in the cup, out of the cup, floating in the air as she was falling back. I see it right now in my mind.

[Eddie]

And then it went, like, back in the cup. She still had almost a full cup of coffee.

[Bobby Bones]

It's like when the guy falls and has his beer and keeps it up. Here's a. Here's a clip because we happen to be rolling as it happened, so it's not the craziest audio, but this is it. I know. Have I met you? Yeah. Yeah.

[Amy]

Are you okay?

[Bobby Bones]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, no. First, are you injured? I worked so hard. I'm like, don't move her if her neck's broken.

[Eddie]

So hard on her.

[Bobby Bones]

Oh, no, that is. Let's let insurance know. Hey, don't grab your neck. She didn't grab her neck, everybody. Yeah, it was. It was. There was like three seconds where I had to choose my adventure. Do I get up and I'm like, okay, Are you okay? Are you okay? Or do I just go hard and be funny? And I like Sarah, and I didn't. I don't know her really well. I know her better since then. Trust me. But she's quick and she's, you know, she'll come at you. And so I went at her hard and she gave it back, and it was. Ended up being great, but it was scary. And she dumped. She wiped out.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

And.

[Amy]

Oh, she fell back hard.

[Bobby Bones]

I just remember, for one, I like awkward, but I don't like it at somebody else's expense. I like awkward at my expense or being a part of something. And after a second, I felt awkward. I was like, if I make this awkward, it's gonna be awkward for everybody. So I was like, boom. Yep. That joke chair got you, didn't it? And then it was just on.

[Eddie]

Yeah, because for the first, like, we didn't know what was happening. And I, we were, I guess we were by mics, but I didn't even know because I was sitting there. I was like, oh my God.

[Bobby Bones]

Oh my God.

[Eddie]

I thought she would.

[Amy]

For a minute there, I thought she was going to get up and be like, look, I have coffee all over me. Like, I got to go.

[Bobby Bones]

She's tripping. She set up, did an hour interview, crushed it. Shout out.

[Ed Zitron]

Sarah Evans, hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January we're going on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada to cover the Consumer Electronics show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or the biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025. Interrogating their narratives alongside a remarkable cast of industry talent and award winning journalists, we'll have daily episodes on the ground, interviews and special panels covering everything from the BS of AI to the ways in which race and gender play into how people are treated in the tech industry. And at these conferences, I'll be joined by David Roth of Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. With appearances from behind the Bastards, Robert Evans. It could happen. Here's Gare Davis and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from. And check out betteroffline.com.

[Jason Alexander]

I'm Jason Alexander.

[Peter Tilden]

And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the really no really.

[Jason Alexander]

Podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions, like.

[Peter Tilden]

Why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor.

[Jason Alexander]

We got the answer.

[Peter Tilden]

Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer, and you never know who's going to drop by.

[Jason Alexander]

Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us.

[Bobby Bones]

How are you?

[Jason Alexander]

Hello, my friend.

[Peter Tilden]

Wayne Knight About Jurassic Park.

[Jason Alexander]

Wayne Knight, welcome to really Know. Really, sir.

[Bobby Bones]

Bless you all.

[Peter Tilden]

Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging.

[Bobby Bones]

Really?

[Amy]

That's the opening.

[Bobby Bones]

Really?

[Jason Alexander]

No, really?

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, really?

[Eddie]

No.

[Bobby Bones]

Really.

[Jason Alexander]

Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win.

[Peter Tilden]

$500, a guest spot on our podcast or a limited edition sign. Jason Bobblehead.

[Jason Alexander]

It's called really? No, really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Bobby Bones]

I like it, I think, very much. Elvis would have been 90 today. Or Elvis is 90 today is. There's the preacher in Arkansas who they think might be elv. And now he jokes about it a little bit, too. And he kind of looks like if Elvis were older. And he also sings like him when he sings in church.

[Amy]

And they've even gone down to, like, the way his eyebrows are. The teeth like his. Like, some of his teeth look exactly like Elvis's teeth.

[Bobby Bones]

Amazing grace. I mean, he does the effect now to sound like Elvis, but Elvis is probably dead or in witness relocation.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Bobby Bones]

And we haven't seen him. Would have been 90 today. Amy, what state was Elvis born in?

[Eddie]

The Born. Oh, Mississippi.

[Bobby Bones]

Good job.

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Bobby Bones]

Born in Tupelo, Mississippi, in 1935, but most people consider him to be from Memphis. Yeah. Died in Memphis in 1977 at age 42. He had 18 number one songs, and these are, like, number one pop songs. So massive. His favorite sandwich was a peanut butter and banana, which is known as the Elvis sandwich. It's boring.

[Eddie]

Does it have bacon on it?

[Bobby Bones]

No. Yeah, it does. Yeah. Bacon, fried bananas, and honey on Hawaiian white bread. I guess that's not boring.

[Eddie]

That's pretty interesting.

[Bobby Bones]

I guess you have a lot of those. You probably die pretty quick. Yeah. He's like, make out with chicks.

[Lunchbox]

So weird.

[Bobby Bones]

Like, later in his career, he'd be doing the Vegas shows, and he would just grab the back of their head and he'd be like, well, since my baby left me and go to the other part of the stage. I found a new place to dwell. How you doing? Like, make out with seven girls on. It was wild. Elvis had an identical twin. He was born 35 minutes after his identical twin brother who was stillborn.

[Eddie]

Oh, okay. I was like, well, wait, is the pastor the twin?

[Bobby Bones]

What if that's the twin? She really wasn't a stillborn Elvi. He only performed outside the US Three times. Here's what I freak out about sometimes when I watch old movies that they flew across the Ocean before, like 1960. I don't like flying across the ocean. Now you're gonna tell me people get on an airplane and flew over the ocean that long in like the 40s and 50s.

[Amy]

I think that's when Amelia Earhart.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

I don't like doing it now.

[Eddie]

World War.

[Bobby Bones]

I know, I know.

[Amy]

Yeah. Man.

[Bobby Bones]

I can't imagine that. Then, like, what, you're just praying the whole time?

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Bobby Bones]

You're probably like holding the wing up.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

Oh, so. Yeah. Only three times. And Canada. So that's really. That didn't count because Canada kind of us. He was a huge fan of karate, which into his dance moves. Karate. He was a natural blonde. Really. Usually it goes the other way where blonde people want to dye their hair blonde if it's darker. But jet black hair. That's what we know Elvis for. But he was blonde. He dyed his hair in his teens to achieve the darker look that became his trademark.

[Amy]

I did not know that.

[Bobby Bones]

He is the fourth highest paid dead celebrity. When he died, he was worth 5 million. Inflation. It's a lot more than that, obviously. 2022, his estate was valued at 500 million. He once bought a presidential yacht. He had stage fright, which is always weird when big performers say they have stage fright. I don't ever believe that they still have it every time because it doesn't matter. If you do something a lot and you're celebrated for it, some of that goes away. There can be what I have at times, which is imposter syndrome, where I'm like, I don't know why people think I'm entertaining at all, because I don't feel like I am. Let's go and see if it works. But that's not fright. That's just knowing you're a loser, thinking you're a loser. No, no, no. I know. I'm.

[Eddie]

No, it's not knowing.

[Bobby Bones]

No, I do.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Bobby Bones]

He once showed up uninvited to the White House. That's funny.

[Eddie]

How do you do that?

[Bobby Bones]

I dropped by with some cookies. Elvis. Hey, everybody. Is the Nixon here?

[Amy]

Is that when he wanted that badge or something?

[Bobby Bones]

He went to meet with Nixon and then he was like, I want to help with the drug crisis. And he got a badge as a, quote, narcotics agent.

[Amy]

That's it.

[Bobby Bones]

Elvis was here at your door. You got any weed again? So. And then finally, Elvis had a pet chimpanzee named Scatter. A monkey. Means you're rich and bored. Like you're too rich and you're so bored that you get a monkey. Celebrities with monkeys are always the ones that are really rich and like, sad, lonely.

[Eddie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

Sad, lonely. I wanna, I've bought everything else. Now they get rocket ships to go to space instead of monkeys. But I think that was what Bezos would have done in the 50s. Got a monkey or like Richard Branson, you know, they like to do space travel because they're so rich. Like, what can they do that nobody else can do? They get a rocket. Well, 40 years ago you're getting a chimpanzee. He held a, and he had a pilot's license. No chance. Listen, I don't even want to go up with Dirks Bentley. And he's a great pilot, but I'm like, that's not your main job, buddy.

[Amy]

You've never flown with him?

[Bobby Bones]

No.

[Amy]

That'd be scary.

[Bobby Bones]

And he's a, from all and everybody I know. And Dirks is a wildly responsible, super smart guy. Maybe the most well read country artist. Dirk's been like, what was I thinking? I don't even like going up with pilots that have been pilots for 50 years. So I'm okay, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna walk. Can you imagine Elvis?

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

I need a bacon in Hawaii. And I'm gonna go down to this field so I can get me a sandwich and let my monkey use the bathroom.

[Eddie]

Making out with the flight attendant.

[Bobby Bones]

Oh my God. I, I, he never crashed though.

[Eddie]

How many times did he fly?

[Bobby Bones]

I don't have that record.

[Amy]

But see, this is why.

[Bobby Bones]

Hopefully they just tricked him. Like they put him in a plane and they're like, all right, Elvis, here we go. And they're like screens around. We're doing pretty good up here. He never left the ground simulator. Yes.

[Amy]

No. I was gonna say this is why I think he's still alive. Because like, that's a pretty good life. Like, why would he want to leave that life? Get a monkey.

[Bobby Bones]

It's all those bacon sandwiches. Oh, no, no.

[Amy]

That's what I'm saying. But people still think he's alive. Like if he's still alive, I don't think he'd want to leave that life.

[Bobby Bones]

Unless some of the rumors are he had to move to another country because he got so deep with the mob that he had to go into witness relocation because everyone to kill him. And you know, at and I've never been to Graceland. And I'm an Elvis fan mostly for the history of popular music. And he was that guy. There's like seven of that guy. Taylor Swift's that guy. Elvis is that guy. Britney Spears is that guy. The Beatles is that guy.

[Eddie]

Michael Jackson.

[Bobby Bones]

Michael Jackson is that guy. Elvis is one of those. And so I'm very interested. It's right down the road. Never been.

[Amy]

You've gotta go.

[Bobby Bones]

And Eddie's like, you have to go. You can't even go upstairs. It's where he lived. They never. They haven't changed any of it. But he's like, you can't go upstairs because I don't know if something's roaming around up there.

[Amy]

You can go anywhere on the bottom floor of the jungle room, his TV room. Everything but the upstairs locked down.

[Bobby Bones]

Why do you think that is?

[Amy]

They. What they said was that the families.

[Bobby Bones]

I don't care about. They. I want to know what you think, because they will say anything.

[Amy]

I just don't think they want people tampering with where Elvis died. I think a lot of people want to see where Elvis died, which is the bathroom. And I think they don't want anyone up there.

[Bobby Bones]

See? Supposedly died on the toilet. What a way to go on the throne. Maybe it's like precious. It's the last precious thing they have that they don't have to share with the world.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

Of Elvis. Or he's up there chilling and he.

[Eddie]

Never leaves his room. That's not him.

[Bobby Bones]

Witness relocation. Quick announcement. As of today, I have signed a deal with the NFL. You know, all my years in the league.

[Amy]

You're gonna play.

[Lunchbox]

Wow. All that training.

[Eddie]

What does this mean?

[Bobby Bones]

I. To do a show.

[Eddie]

Oh, okay.

[Bobby Bones]

To do a podcast. To do digital media. To do some.

[Eddie]

I have signed a deal to do a show.

[Bobby Bones]

Well, I've signed a deal with the NFL. It's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. But I like to say I signed a deal with the NFL. That sounds much more fun. Yeah. So I've signed a deal with the NFL in the show. Actually, our first episode of the podcast is up today, and it's with former Pro bowl quarterback Matt Castle, who has actual credibility, like in the.

[Eddie]

In the league, in the game.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He played for a lot of time, made a lot of money. So we have Kurt Warner on today. I think Tim McGraw is on tomorrow. So it's called Lots to say, and I think it's pretty good. But I'm just. I signed with the NFL. That's all I'm saying. Yeah. I signed. Deal with the NFL. Really? Slot. Yeah. Slot back.

[Amy]

And then you just walk away.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's up. You can go search for it. Lots to say.

[Eddie]

Kurt Warner is the American underdog.

[Bobby Bones]

That's What I was gonna ask you. Yeah, so I was talking to Kurt.

[Eddie]

You need me to talk to him?

[Bobby Bones]

No, we did last night. Oh, yeah, it's up right now.

[Eddie]

Dang. But I asked could have added insight. I was very inspired by his story.

[Bobby Bones]

I was talking about how good looking he is to him, which always seems to be weird to people for some reason, because I'm like, I know I'm no beauty, but Kurt Warner was, was and is a really good looking guy. And I was like, you ever would you want to take your helmet off while you're playing? So people knew that because helmets suck in football because they can't see your face.

[Eddie]

I know, but I feel like a lot of the players are really good looking. So that'd be like a lot of people taking off.

[Bobby Bones]

Kurt Warner's like a nine.

[Eddie]

Yeah, he's here.

[Bobby Bones]

This is me asking about that. Yeah, I. I don't really know. That is, I think, a question for people that don't play football. Because that was never anything that I actually considered at any point in time in life. But to your point though, I mean, you see it now all the time with we see all kinds of different guys getting commercials now. So I gotta say, never once crossed my mind, I need to rip my helmet off so people can see. Yeah, you would have been the first face that have been it for sure. So when I was telling him, I said, hey, I think I'm like a six and a half and you're like a nine. I started to wonder if I called somebody a nine. Are they offended I didn't say ten?

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

Is that.

[Eddie]

They're probably not, but I guess I'm curious. Like, what is that one thing that takes it from a nine to a ten?

[Bobby Bones]

Ten doesn't exist.

[Amy]

Ten's perfect.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, I never give anybody a ten on looks. But Kurt Warner even now, because he's even like what they would call his zaddy. He's great, but he's like really good looking. I think he was a little taken back because he knows Matt. They played against each other. He doesn't know me. And I'm like, dude, you're so hot. So that was there and then. So quarterbacks have to buy their lineman gifts at Christmas.

[Eddie]

They have to or they do.

[Bobby Bones]

They're expected to.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Bobby Bones]

And so one of the guys, Brock Purdy, who plays for the 49ers, bought them all. Trucks ended up being a commercial, but Joe Burrow bought all of his linemen like swords. They wanted guns, but he bought them all like Chinese swords.

[Eddie]

With fighting stores?

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, old ones. So I was talking to Matt, like, what's that tradition? What was it like? Because he went in, Tom Brady got hurt, first game goes down for the year, Matt Castle goes in, plays the whole season. And I was like, so what was it for you having to buy all those linemen gifts? The quarterbacks now, I heard, are just absurd with what they're getting. The offensive linemen, prime time running backs, what they get guys Rolexes. Did you have to do, do that? Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, I got big screen televisions one year. I got iPads one year sucks. Well, that's the other thing is you got to evaluate. No, you can't, like, get them a little small. Hey, guys, it didn't go so well this year. I got sacked 35 times.

[Eddie]

Okay, so I get it. It's like, these are the guys protecting you.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

So.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah. So you buy them all gifts. But I was like, what if it's like a backup or a sucky one that's allowed you to get sacked a bunch? And he's like, nop. Same gift.

[Amy]

What a difference, though. Like TVs and trucks now.

[Eddie]

I mean, that's got to depend on what you make.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, well, yes. And I asked Kurt Warner about that, too, and he was like, yeah, but now quarterback's making $50 million. He was like, then we had made good money, but it wasn't that. Anyway, it's up. I play for a team now. NFL. I'm part of the team. And it's called Lots to say. I would love for you to listen to it. It's Matt Castle and myself, and it's not just sports, but definitely. Especially now because of the playoffs. That's what's up. We should talk on the post show about that movie, though. I'll watch it, too.

[Eddie]

American Underdog.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Eddie]

No, I found it fascinating how he.

[Bobby Bones]

Just didn't get drafted.

[Eddie]

He didn't give up. And he went. He, like. The last thing he wanted to do was go play for the Arena League, and he had to do it for his family. But then ultimately, that's what he's doing, the posture.

[Bobby Bones]

Remember if I just said, I know, I know, but we're out of time. They're yelling in my ear. They're like, you're out of time. They're like, they're going to come. They're going to cut me off right now and see.

[Ed Zitron]

Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast. And this January, we're going on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada to cover the Consumer Electronics Show. Tech's Biggest conference Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or the biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2020. Interrogating their narratives alongside a remarkable cast of industry talent and award winning journalists, we'll have daily episodes on the ground, interviews and special panels covering everything from the BS of AI to the ways in which race and gender play into how people are treated in the tech industry. And at these conferences, I'll be joined by David Roth of Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. With appearances from behind the Bastards, Robert Evans It Could Happen. Here's Gare Davis and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcast from. And check out betteroffline.com.

[Jason Alexander]

I'm Jason Alexander.

[Peter Tilden]

And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the really no really.

[Jason Alexander]

Podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions, like.

[Peter Tilden]

Why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor.

[Jason Alexander]

We got the answer.

[Peter Tilden]

Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus, does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer and you never know who's going to drop by.

[Jason Alexander]

Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us.

[Bobby Bones]

How are you?

[Peter Tilden]

Hello, my friend Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park.

[Jason Alexander]

Wayne knight, welcome to really no really, Sir.

[Bobby Bones]

Bless you all.

[Peter Tilden]

Hello Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging.

[Bobby Bones]

Really?

[Amy]

That's the opening?

[Bobby Bones]

Really?

[Jason Alexander]

No really?

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, really?

[Amy]

No really.

[Jason Alexander]

Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win.

[Peter Tilden]

500 a guest spot on our podcast or a limited edition sign Jason Bobblehead.

[Jason Alexander]

It's called really? No really and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Bobby Bones]

This one's sad and I didn't know why, but this is from CBS News about the landing gear compartment where they found the two bodies. Here's this breaking news from Florida. Tragic news. JetBlue says the bodies of not one, but two two people were found last night in the landing gear of a plane at Fort Lauderdale's airport. This was during a Routine maintenance check. In the statement, JetBlue says to us here at CBS News, quote, the identities of the individuals and the circumstances surrounding how they access the aircraft remain under investigation. The airplane, or the airline rather, says the plane took off from New York's JFK airport. Any theory you guys are reading online? Because I could understand if it were coming from, like, a different country and someone's, like, looking to get out of that country, put a domestic flight and then the landing gear not in the luggage. And sometimes people freeze when they sneak into that luggage part. The landing gear thing was I've not heard of. Unless someone tried to, like, get in the wheel. But these are from other countries.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

When they try to get in that wheel and lunchbox usually have some sort of theory.

[Lunchbox]

I just assume that they were trying to travel. They were probably friends or family members trying to get from one place to another. Didn't have money.

[Bobby Bones]

And how'd they get it even out?

[Eddie]

I know.

[Lunchbox]

I don't know how they get out on the tarmac. Like, how do you get.

[Bobby Bones]

What's up, Scuba? What'd you say?

[Amy]

I was saying I was reading about the flight path of it. I believe it started in Jamaica. A few other places, it was like Salt Lake City.

[Bobby Bones]

So they didn't catch it in a certain city.

[Amy]

They could be riding that for a minute and probably passed that at some point.

[Bobby Bones]

Maybe somewhere where it's a little more relaxed to get out.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, maybe Jamaica. It's easier to get on the tarmac.

[Amy]

Well, they did say the bodies were unrecognizable, so they've been in there for a while.

[Eddie]

Yeah. Okay.

[Bobby Bones]

That sucks. For every reason. Like, why you'd have to do that, why you think you would need to do that to get on a plane to get out of somewhere. And then also just to be freaking out as you're all, I hate flying in the cabin, much less on a wheel. I don't like if they're up there, like, southwest over Iowa. I'm like, this sucks. Yeah. I just wonder what the deal was. Like, do you hope. What was the goal?

[Lunchbox]

And then you just gotta hold on or. I mean, can you fall out of there?

[Amy]

Right.

[Bobby Bones]

Is there room? That's the thing. Like, where do you go and lay? Like, I can understand the baggage part because then that's bad, too. People freeze. In part, people freeze to death because of temperatures. Anyway, I'll move on to a much more uplifting story. Texas officials warn of an infectious parasitic worm that screws into your flesh.

[Eddie]

What you said more uplifting why just Texas? Is it only there?

[Bobby Bones]

This is from kdvr, the new screw worm. Also my nickname at college.

[Amy]

Stop.

[Eddie]

It was not.

[Bobby Bones]

A parasitic worm eradicated in the US in 1966 has been detected, raising concerns of a potential comeback in South Texas.

[Amy]

Oh, where in South Texas?

[Bobby Bones]

The South Park.

[Amy]

It's McAllen.

[Bobby Bones]

That's where you're from?

[Amy]

She's where I'm from, man.

[Bobby Bones]

The larvae of the New World screwworm fly can cause serious infections by burrowing into the live tissue. It can affect livestock, birds, pets, and humans. Texas wildlife officials urge people to watch for signs of infection, such as wounds with maggots. Oh, you know, back in the day, though, they would put maggots in, like, bad cuts, and the maggots would eat out the bacteria. The bathroom.

[Amy]

Oh, really?

[Bobby Bones]

Oh, it worked.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Lunchbox]

But how do you get the maggot back out?

[Eddie]

We're past that.

[Bobby Bones]

You just grab it.

[Amy]

They just. Yeah, it's on the outside of your body.

[Bobby Bones]

Like, they put it happen in Gladiator.

[Amy]

Really?

[Bobby Bones]

In the movie Gladiator, they do that.

[Eddie]

Wait, these are the symptoms. Like, if you're irritated, you have a loss of appetite, your head is shaking, smell of knees are weak. Fish or flesh. Excuse me. Those are some of the. If you. You have any of those symptoms, your.

[Bobby Bones]

Hands are shaking, your knees are weak. If you can't stand on your own two feet, you either have a parasitic worm or you're all shook up. Next up, a man uses a rude driver's license plate to play the lottery. Wins half a million bucks from upi. A Maryland man used the license plate from a car that cut him off by lottery ticket with it. Lunchbox. This is what you should do. And my scratch off is here. We don't want to do that scratching off every day. For my New Year's resolution to hit for over a thousand bucks. So I might take it in the middle of it now. That's what's what you should do, because you do play a lot. If you have a story, if you do hit. That's totally made up. They cannot verify because this cannot be verified. And you'll make the news. Let's say you hit for $250,000.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, it's all the grades I got in elementary school.

[Bobby Bones]

It's like I.

[Amy]

There we go.

[Bobby Bones]

Like the numbers.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

52.

[Amy]

What if there's, like a three in there?

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, it needs to be like.

[Lunchbox]

I didn't think about that.

[Bobby Bones]

Be a little more interesting with it because they need to prove it. They did not be able to prove it so.

[Lunchbox]

Okay.

[Bobby Bones]

Think about that and you'll make the news.

[Lunchbox]

Or I was walking under a billboard and a number felt like that's things.

[Bobby Bones]

That they can actually prove. Like what billboard and looks like there's no number missing. Oh, like this guy here. You cannot prove somebody didn't cut him off in traffic. What?

[Eddie]

Can lunchroads just say he had a dream about the numbers?

[Bobby Bones]

You can. Boring.

[Lunchbox]

Everybody says that.

[Eddie]

Lame.

[Bobby Bones]

Boring. Boring. If you want to reduce stress in your relationship, experts say sleep naked. Sleeping naked, especially together with your spouse, improves your rest by reducing stress and anxiety levels. Skin to skin contact between adults can increase the levels of oxytocin.

[Eddie]

Oxytocin.

[Bobby Bones]

That's it. Thank you. The love hormone. It's easier for women to sleep naked than guys.

[Amy]

Why is that too.

[Bobby Bones]

Oh, well, maybe you don't have this problem. I pinch my thing, I think.

[Amy]

Really?

[Eddie]

Yeah, with my legs. Y'all can't relate.

[Bobby Bones]

I can't do it.

[Lunchbox]

I'm confused. I sleep naked every night.

[Eddie]

What?

[Bobby Bones]

Just like a hairball. You see? Like, but other than that. It's like a big fuzzy hairball.

[Lunchbox]

Your kids are in your bed.

[Amy]

I have kids and one of them comes into our room every night.

[Eddie]

Oh, okay. Well, then, yeah, so that can't happen.

[Lunchbox]

Well, that's your fault. I don't like kids in my room.

[Amy]

No kids allowed.

[Bobby Bones]

Also, like everyone. I dribble a little bit, too.

[Amy]

What?

[Lunchbox]

What in the world?

[Bobby Bones]

Like, little dribbles, like, occasionally. And I don't want that on the sheets.

[Amy]

Okay, Buzz, you dribble at night, you.

[Lunchbox]

Might want to see a doctor.

[Bobby Bones]

I drove just randomly. Like, if I don't. If I don't have time to finish the pee.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

And I. Like, that's understandable, but a little left in there.

[Eddie]

Well, that's why you supposed to dab it with the toilet paper.

[Bobby Bones]

No, the dabbing does nothing but clean it. It doesn't go. It doesn't keep what's in there out. It doesn't suck it out.

[Amy]

No one does that, Amy.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, no, no, I do. No, I clean my. My wiener.

[Eddie]

I drive d. Yes. I think we need to normalize that.

[Bobby Bones]

No, that's what I do. I take me still paper, I spit on it, and then I wipe.

[Lunchbox]

Dude, what are you spitting on?

[Bobby Bones]

Wet.

[Eddie]

What?

[Bobby Bones]

Why are you spinning? It's two things. If I have dude wipes, I'll use it. I don't. Because I don't want to go dry. Okay, But I'll spit on it and then clean it after I pee.

[Eddie]

What?

[Bobby Bones]

You don't want to go dry on dry.

[Lunchbox]

He's getting worse, dude. Like, first you dribble on yourself, now you're spitting on toilet paper.

[Bobby Bones]

I'm just trying to be honest. There's reason I don't sleep naked. One, it pinches between my legs, and then two, every once in a while, it dribbles, and I don't want that.

[Eddie]

In the sheets and then in the.

[Bobby Bones]

Bathroom if I. I do clean it after I pee. Like, I wipe after I pee.

[Eddie]

Sometimes you don't just, like, take hand sanitizer in there.

[Bobby Bones]

You don't have a penis.

[Eddie]

You're right. I don't.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Thank goodness.

[Bobby Bones]

That would burn.

[Lunchbox]

Doesn't it sound so difficult?

[Eddie]

It does.

[Bobby Bones]

Anyway.

[Amy]

Yeah. Moving on.

[Bobby Bones]

Next, it's parasitic worm. And finally, country star, country singer Matt Stell, who, I will be honest with you guys, is one of my really good friends. But I'm gonna play a couple clips before I tell you the news on him. Here's prayed for you. Here's everywhere but on got number ones. He got engaged and then got married within a day. Now I want to play the clip of him announcing it. Go ahead.

[Lunchbox]

What's up, y'all? Hope your Christmas and New Year's were great. Ours was, because on Friday, we were in Mexico and we got engaged.

[Bobby Bones]

Boom. Check it out.

[Lunchbox]

And that was on Friday.

[Bobby Bones]

And on Saturday, we got married. I'm not joking. She married me on Saturday. Ask at lunchbox.

[Lunchbox]

Why? Why? Is she pregnant?

[Bobby Bones]

No. That's what I think most people would think.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, I. I assume, like, when you're getting shot like that.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah.

[Lunchbox]

Okay. Babies.

[Bobby Bones]

And that's absolutely fair assumption. Nope, she's not pregnant.

[Amy]

I didn't think that. I just thought, like, why waste time? Just, boom.

[Bobby Bones]

You didn't think she was pregnant?

[Eddie]

I didn't think that at all.

[Bobby Bones]

I was like, what? Got engaged? Then he's like, yeah, we got married. And I was like, oh, you don't gotta say it. You just go. He's like, no. I was like, oh, we didn't really have words.

[Amy]

Just sounds.

[Bobby Bones]

No congratulations. Engaged and married.

[Lunchbox]

Then why?

[Bobby Bones]

Because they knew they wanted to get married, and they want to, like, schedule it out and do the whole, let's just get married and not have to deal with the stress of a wedding. Yeah.

[Lunchbox]

I bet their families are real happy about that.

[Bobby Bones]

I bet they probably cared but didn't care. Like, they just cared about themselves and they wanted to be married.

[Lunchbox]

Okay, that's.

[Bobby Bones]

Maybe he wanted to be on her insurance. Everything about that.

[Lunchbox]

That could be, too. Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

All right. That's the news. Those were Bobby's stories. Bones, Laura is on the phone. We're talking about Elvis. Laura, what's your story?

[Laura]

Hey, Bobby. Morning, studio.

[Bobby Bones]

Morning.

[Laura]

So I just found out from my mother in law probably two days ago, or maybe like Sunday night or Saturday night. Her sister used to live in Memphis, and the guy that she was married to at that time, it's now her ex husband, he was a mortician at the funeral home where Elvis was taken. And he actually embalmed Elvis. So I could probably say that I could confirm that Elvis is really dead.

[Bobby Bones]

Is there the we don't share HIPAA when we're embalmer rule? Like a doctor must not be.

[Lunchbox]

It seems like it would be.

[Eddie]

Yeah, you would think.

[Bobby Bones]

Especially if it's Elvis, you know, and it. Would it be hipaa. Would that be hipaa?

[Eddie]

I think that's what it's called.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah. Yeah, that is what that's called. I don't know if that. I don't know. I mean, I literally don't know what an embalmer. Like, do you need a specific degree to be an embalmer or can you take courses to be an embalmer?

[Eddie]

You have a license.

[Bobby Bones]

Okay, but a license is different than a degree.

[Laura]

Yeah, he's a mortician.

[Lunchbox]

Oh, no.

[Eddie]

Like you have a license to do nails, right?

[Lunchbox]

We got trouble, guys.

[Bobby Bones]

Go ahead.

[Lunchbox]

An embalmer is legally and ethically bound to keep the identities of the people they embalm confidential.

[Eddie]

For how long? Is there a statute of limitations?

[Lunchbox]

They cannot. Outside of the funeral home, they're not allowed to talk about it without the authorization from the family. Oh, no.

[Amy]

Yeah, but this guy was a mortician, not the embalmer.

[Lunchbox]

No, she said he embalmed him, but the mortician.

[Bobby Bones]

Cannonball. Go ahead. I'm sorry.

[Laura]

Yeah, he. I was told that he embalmed him. He's dead now. He died a few weeks ago, unfortunately.

[Bobby Bones]

And that's why.

[Laura]

Allegedly.

[Amy]

There we go.

[Laura]

Yeah, right? And allegedly, my husband's aunt has a lock of his hair that I have not confirmed with. But I was gonna. I was gonna ask her about it. She lives right next door to us, so.

[Lunchbox]

Well, she's go knock on the door.

[Bobby Bones]

I wanna.

[Eddie]

Scott.

[Bobby Bones]

I want to buy it a little. I don't know that it's. I mean, shady.

[Amy]

It's really illegal.

[Bobby Bones]

Don't say shady. Amazing. Oh, one man's trash, another man's treasure. One man's shady is another man's really cool. I would give her a thousand dollars for it.

[Eddie]

But you need it authentic.

[Bobby Bones]

I would give her a thousand dollars without authentication.

[Eddie]

Really?

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah. But then if she knows that, she could just go cut anybody's hair and trick me.

[Amy]

Correct. And then keep the real Elvis hair.

[Laura]

Well, couldn't you get a DNA test?

[Bobby Bones]

I could, but if I were. But then it would be worth more. I'll just talk myself out of the negotiation here. If it were authenticated, it'd be worth a lot more than a thousand bucks. My thing was, if somebody had it right now. So this is Elvis's hair. And I knew I was looking at it. I would go $1,000 unauthenticated. So the price is less. But I don't need you to prove it because it may come false and be worth nothing if it's not. But that's pretty cool. And it's not cool. It's not cool, but it's pretty cool.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, it is cool. And an embalmer does need to earn an associate's or bachelor's degree in mortuary science or funeral services from an institution accredited by the American Board of Funeral Service Education.

[Amy]

That's a major.

[Lunchbox]

That's a major.

[Bobby Bones]

I don't know. That. That. I don't think.

[Lunchbox]

I mean, I guess you have to go to a special school you don't like. You don't go to, like, Ole Miss.

[Eddie]

But you're still like, the associates.

[Bobby Bones]

I don't know.

[Eddie]

Maybe it's like, the number of hours you might, like.

[Bobby Bones]

Where are you going? Bowling Green. What for? Embalming.

[Amy]

You can have a lot of friends if you say that.

[Bobby Bones]

No, I bet it's, like, going to get that you're like a license to do nails.

[Eddie]

Yeah. Like, at what point do you decide? I feel like so much of that.

[Bobby Bones]

Maybe more than family. Maybe more than that.

[Amy]

Yeah, you're just born into it.

[Eddie]

Yeah. You've been around for a while. So it doesn't freak you out. Cause, like, at what point do you decide that's just what you want to do?

[Bobby Bones]

But that's like a butthole doctor. Same question, Right?

[Eddie]

No, I feel like it's very different. No, they're very intrigued by the gastrointestinal.

[Bobby Bones]

No, that's the last one you want.

[Amy]

That's why you worry about butthole doctor.

[Bobby Bones]

That's like, everybody, raise your hand. Who wants heart? Who wants brain? Who wants bones? Okay, well, there are a lot of bones. Okay. Three quarters of the group wants bones. Two of you gonna have to do butthole.

[Lunchbox]

Yeah, I mean, just imagine.

[Bobby Bones]

I'll do butthole.

[Eddie]

No, they love it.

[Bobby Bones]

No.

[Lunchbox]

Imagine a fifth grader when the teacher's saying, what do you want to be when you grow up? And they raise their hand and say, butthole doctor. No one says that.

[Bobby Bones]

Fifth grade won't. Fifth grade won't. I don't even think a lot of them, as adults probably go in to be a doctor going, I for sure want to hit that rectum. I think it's probably, like, something in the body. And they know there's.

[Eddie]

We should talk to one. Because I think that they do. Like, it's fantastic.

[Bobby Bones]

But they're gonna lie.

[Amy]

They're not gonna be honest with us.

[Eddie]

That's such a small part of what they're working with. They're working with the whole GI. Like, it's.

[Bobby Bones]

But I went to a butthole doctor, and that's the whole thing she dealt with on me.

[Eddie]

They call that the second brain. Like, there's so much butthole.

[Bobby Bones]

Ain't no thinking down there with me.

[Lunchbox]

That's the second brain.

[Eddie]

You're gi.

[Bobby Bones]

No, we're talking only butthole at this point.

[Eddie]

But that doctor works with the intestines, everything. It's not just the.

[Bobby Bones]

Well, her name on her office said Butthole Betsy. So I think that was, like, her thing. Amy, you're right. You're right. It's more than just a butthole. But I'm saying, I.

[Eddie]

Thank you.

[Bobby Bones]

I think that a proctologist, from my guessing and having conversations with doctors, especially in America, it's not the most desired field to go into. A lot of people will go, oh, that is something where there's not a lot. And I can get a. There are more options for me. Because it is not the most desired path for a doctor. When you get to choose from day one where you'd like to go, would that.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

How's that? Do I make any sense?

[Eddie]

You do, of course. I just don't know that that's at the bottom of the list. For some people, I feel like they genuinely are.

[Bobby Bones]

Dude, if somebody. I am so passionate about getting in the butthole.

[Amy]

Check them out. Check them out.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah. Do you have a goatee? Okay, that's two. Two strikes.

[Eddie]

No. They're so fascinated by the gi.

[Bobby Bones]

And again, we're talking about. This is totally different because this is like, heavy schooling.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

This is like 10. A decade of schooling to be.

[Amy]

Do you get paid more to be a butthole doctor? Like, that's the way it should be.

[Bobby Bones]

But here's the question. The answer is, I'm gonna say yes.

[Eddie]

But no, depending on what you do.

[Bobby Bones]

Depending On.

[Amy]

But you see buttholes every day.

[Eddie]

But some people perform surgery, you get.

[Bobby Bones]

Paid between 400 and 700 thousand dollars, the average for proctologist. But, Mike. But the point is, do you get not paid more up against. There are probably. It's easier to get to one of those jobs if you're good. That pays a lot. Because there's not 10,000 people trying to be a butthole doctor.

[Amy]

Got it.

[Bobby Bones]

When there are a lot of doctors that are general.

[Eddie]

I will give you that baby.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah. Yeah. And I'm thankful that people want to be butthole doctors.

[Amy]

Somebody's gonna do it.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah. Butthole Betsy. I didn't. I was. I felt bad for her. Like, I. And she tried to be cool about it. She was like, okay, turn around. Take your pants down. And I was like, behind the waffle House. And she was like, trust me. But. Yeah. Well, Laura. So you're saying Elvis is dead.

[Eddie]

Yeah. I wonder what is the easiest. Like, when you're going through medical school, what is the easiest thing to specialize in?

[Bobby Bones]

Okay, great question. What's the easiest. Let's say it like this. What's the easiest of all the hards? Because I don't want anybody to feel insulted that's a doctor.

[Eddie]

Not at all, I guess. But I do wonder. And maybe some doctors know and they have their classmates, like, did they talk about this? Like, I really want to be a doctor and say general.

[Amy]

Oh, general's the easiest.

[Bobby Bones]

I would say.

[Amy]

I feel like that'd be hard because you have to know everything.

[Bobby Bones]

General is much more surface. Not a lot of you don't have to spend many years diving into one specific part. And I think generals, because I have a really great general. They have to learn as they go still. Because again, they're not an expert in everything.

[Eddie]

They're evolving, too.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah.

[Lunchbox]

And they just have to know the basics. Because then they send you to a specialist.

[Bobby Bones]

Yes. A family medicine doctor.

[Eddie]

Okay.

[Bobby Bones]

Probably. But again, I want to take the word ease out.

[Eddie]

Sure. We could remove that word. I didn't know if some people, though, approach that. There could be some shady. That just approach. Like, I just want to get the easiest because we need family doctors. Some are, I would say majority are likely just very passionate about helping people with everyday issues.

[Bobby Bones]

It says some medical specialties are generally considered less competitive and may require less training time. These include, number one, family medicine, number two, internal medicine, and number three, pediatrics. And number four, letters. I'm a doctor of letters.

[Amy]

So that's you.

[Bobby Bones]

That's me, yeah.

[Eddie]

That's not really on the list?

[Bobby Bones]

That's not really on the list, but I'm a doctor, so please respect me.

[Amy]

Yes, sir.

[Bobby Bones]

Butthole Betty thought it was cool. She's like, oh, doctor on Dr. Crime here. There you go. Thank you, Laura. Hope you have a great day. Hope you have a great day. Thank you. Thank you very much. All right, bye. Bye, Laura. Bobby Bone Show Bonehead glory of the day.

[Lunchbox]

This story comes to us from Canada. We call this Vigilante justice gone wrong. A 50 year old man's driving in the car in front of him, swerving all over the road, and he's like, oh, he's got to be drunk. So he calls the police, hey, we got a drunk driver here. And when the car pulled up at a stop sign, the guy blocked him in, wouldn't let him go. So police arrive, and it turns out the driver was just having a hard time seeing in the dark. But the 50 year old that was blocked him in was drunk.

[Bobby Bones]

Oh, man. This is like the Sixth Sense twist.

[Amy]

Why did he.

[Bobby Bones]

He sees dead people. He is.

[Lunchbox]

Wow.

[Bobby Bones]

Okay, I'm Lunchbox.

[Lunchbox]

That's your bonehead story of the day.

[Bobby Bones]

Got the best cake for my wife for her birthday. That was a couple days ago. And I just found the girl on Instagram and she. That's what she does, makes cakes. And so I DM'd her, was like, hey, how much for a cake? And then usually it takes like a week. And so I filled out the little dude. This was the greatest cake I've ever seen. I should have known. I should know her name to plug her. I think it's like Mads eats or something. I'll look at it.

[Amy]

Oh, that sounds right.

[Bobby Bones]

It was so. It was so tall and awesome and pretty and there's bows. It was amazing.

[Eddie]

And like, little pearls and seashells.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

And I really can't do a lot of dairy right now because of my stomach issues. And so I think we gave the cake mostly to you two.

[Eddie]

Yeah, Amy and Eddie.

[Amy]

We have kids. Not us.

[Bobby Bones]

Great cake, though, right?

[Amy]

Awesome.

[Eddie]

So good. Yeah, no, I believe my son has asked for it for dinner and breakfast ever since.

[Bobby Bones]

You have more?

[Eddie]

Yeah, no, there was so much.

[Bobby Bones]

What was the cake you were talking about? It wasn't a gender reveal.

[Eddie]

No, it was a mental health reveal. So, like, think gender reveal cake, but you get your mental health results and you give them to the baker in an envelope. And so this one girl posted on TikTok that she was doing all this stuff to figure out if she was bipolar or adhd and she gave the.

[Bobby Bones]

Results, got a cake to tell her that she cut into it.

[Eddie]

She gave the results to the baker. And so if she cut into it and it was pink, she's adhd. If it's yellow, she's bipolar. And so she had the cake, and she had no idea, and then she sliced into it, and turns out she had adhd.

[Bobby Bones]

If it was bipolar, would have been like, you cut another cake. There's a pie in there, and inside the pie, there's, like, another cake, and then there's also, like, a cupcake. Like, I've had family that are bipolar, and you kind of don't know what you're gonna get until they realized it. That was the hardest part. They didn't know. And I'll be honest. My mom was bipolar before she died too. And so that's why I worry about me a little bit if that could be genetic. But she had no. You have no idea.

[Eddie]

She had no idea. And I think she did probably two to three months worth of, like, this therapy and testing to try to narrow it down. And I was talking to my friend that's a therapist, and I was like, is there crossover between those two?

[Bobby Bones]

That's almost funny. Yeah, right? I mean, maybe that's what it is. You're not celebrating it, but you're not making it something that there's shame attached to it.

[Eddie]

Exactly. Her thing was she wanted to bring awareness to that and eat cake.

[Bobby Bones]

Let's be honest, too. I love cake.

[Amy]

Which makes you feel better.

[Bobby Bones]

No, I love cake. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Eddie]

So it was kind of her way of doing it, bringing awareness and not have any shame around it. So mental health cake reveal.

[Bobby Bones]

I don't think I would do that because I just want to eat the cake. I don't need that. And the gender reveal cake, I guess you do it. And I would do that, I guess, if, like, my wife wanted to do it, but that wouldn't be the way I would do it. I would, like, shoot a ball and miss, and it pop or hit, and it pops.

[Amy]

Adhd.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Bobby Bones]

No.

[Eddie]

My friend and I were talking about it, and we're like, you could drop off any kind of results to the baker and be like, std reveal.

[Amy]

Oh, my goodness.

[Bobby Bones]

Oh, my God.

[Lunchbox]

No way.

[Bobby Bones]

An STD cake.

[Eddie]

You could.

[Amy]

I don't know if you want cake after that or.

[Bobby Bones]

Or, like, with our job, are you fired or not?

[Amy]

Oh, dang.

[Bobby Bones]

Like, contracts coming up. Did they renew you? You cut it. Wow.

[Eddie]

Hey. I mean, yes. The. The options are pretty limitless.

[Bobby Bones]

Her name just so I Can put this out there because I did not get the cake for free. I paid full price. She was not even a listener of the show, so it wasn't even like she thought it was cool that I was buying the cake from her. It's M a d s.e a t z mads eats. And it was a plus. Lunchbox. You were a topic of conversation at dinner. Because as we're eating the cake and it was good. Eddie goes, lunchbox is stupid. He thinks cake sucks. Just generally.

[Amy]

He says it's disgusting.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, I was like, that's a pretty stupid as like, as a full person. Nobody thinks you're stupid, but that's a pretty stupid opinion.

[Lunchbox]

No, cake is not that good.

[Bobby Bones]

No, no, that's right. Everybody pretty stupid. Just generally say cake sucks.

[Eddie]

Cake is good.

[Lunchbox]

Here's the thing. I would rather have just the part where there's no icing. I can eat the little, like in the middle where there's no icing.

[Eddie]

That's the cake part.

[Bobby Bones]

For Halloween. Do you like those little butter candies.

[Lunchbox]

Or bit of honey?

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah. Yeah. Is that your favorite Halloween?

[Lunchbox]

No, my favorite Halloween candy is Reese's pumpkins.

[Bobby Bones]

Just asking because I really old people like no icing. A bit of honeysuckle.

[Eddie]

I love bitter honey.

[Lunchbox]

I can't believe you guys like cake so much.

[Bobby Bones]

It's just not everyone likes cake.

[Lunchbox]

No. My buddy Garrett doesn't like cake either.

[Eddie]

Oh, he found it.

[Lunchbox]

He had a birthday on December 30.

[Bobby Bones]

Did you find him in a support group?

[Lunchbox]

He likes brownies. He doesn't like cake.

[Bobby Bones]

Anyway. Mental health cake. I'm for it. It's weird, but weird doesn't mean wrong or bad. But good for her for doing that to make it not be such a negative.

[Eddie]

Yeah. She decided to put in the work to figure out what's going on with her.

[Lunchbox]

That's my favorite.

[Bobby Bones]

It's like the doctor's like, yeah, you have to let everybody know. And you're like, oh, crap. So you buy everybody a cake because.

[Eddie]

Oh, gosh, like, if you cut into.

[Amy]

It now, this is if you have it too now.

[Bobby Bones]

If you cut into this cake and it's green, you have an STD from me. If not, we're in the clear. You just drop them off at like five dudes houses.

[Amy]

It's terrible.

[Eddie]

In that case, you probably do little cupcakes. You know, depending on how many you need to drop.

[Amy]

It'll get expensive.

[Bobby Bones]

I guess.

[Ed Zitron]

So.

[Bobby Bones]

Yeah, that's it. See you tomorrow. Bye, everybody. The Bobby Bone show theme song Written, produced and sang by Reed Yarberry. You can find his Instagram at reedyarberry Scuba Steve Executive Producer Raymundo Head of Production I'm Bobby Bones. My Instagram is mrbobbybones. Thank you for listening to the podcast.

[Ed Zitron]

Hi, I'm Ed Zitron, host of the Better Offline podcast, and this January we're going to go on the road to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada to cover the Consumer Electronics show, tech's biggest conference. Better Offline CES coverage won't be the usual rundown of the hottest gadgets or biggest trends, but an unvarnished look at what the tech industry plans to sell or do to you in 2025. I'll be joined by David Roth of Defector and the writer Edward Ongueso Jr. With guest appearances from behind the Bastards, Robert Evans, it could Happen here as Gaire Davis and a few surprise guests throughout the show. Listen to Better offline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts from.

[Jason Alexander]

I'm Jason Alexander.

[Peter Tilden]

And I'm Peter Tilden, and together our mission on the really Know really podcast.

[Jason Alexander]

Is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions, like why the bathroom.

[Peter Tilden]

Door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum a failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer.

[Jason Alexander]

Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win.

[Peter Tilden]

$500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition sign. Jason Bobblehead the Really no really Podcast.

[Jason Alexander]

Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.