
Rapper Tekashi69 has a lot of troubles but that doesn't stop Jay & Bob from appreciating his music. | Bobby admits to lying about committing a heinous act and blames it on his protein intake. The crew thinks that he just loves farts. | The toilets at the workplace are constantly clogged and Jacob investigates the reasoning behind this phenomenon. | A clip is played of a comedian who claims to hate shock comedy, performing a set that may be shocking. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf
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Bobby Kelly
And now the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly.
Jay Oakerson
Choo choo. Come on, Jacob. Don't you want to grind on some big old butt to this?
Bobby Kelly
I sure do.
Big J Okerson
You do.
Jay Oakerson
Just deny it. And yeast. Don't knock it until you try it.
Big J Okerson
Jacob's on small butt camp with me. He's on team Little Butt. We like little butts.
Jay Oakerson
Surprisingly, you want to live in Florida. Home of the fat ass. Come on, ride the train.
Big J Okerson
What's up, buddy?
Jay Oakerson
I'm riding the train.
Big J Okerson
You love this.
Jay Oakerson
I didn't say. You remember when I went to Key west with Lewis, Christine, Rebecca and Lewis's brand new girlfriend at the time. It was a nightmare.
Big J Okerson
The. The one. Oh, that's one's gone. Yeah, the Philly one.
Jay Oakerson
No, the other one. This was like years ago at this point now.
Big J Okerson
The fucking dud.
Jay Oakerson
Sure. Yes. But we all went out to this thing and you know where he wants to ball out are like the funniest things. He's like, we rented us two convertibles. I go, dude, convertibles suck so fast. They suck. He's like, no, we got him. I go, all right, well then if I'm driving a convertible, I go non stop at top possible volume. I'll be listening to quad Cs, DJs, the train on loop wherever we go. And I mean, I live true to that. I think I can. I think I can.
Big J Okerson
There's a guy that drives around the street the block here blaring this music.
Jay Oakerson
Does he him?
Big J Okerson
Yeah, we leave one every once in a while. You'll. It's a Puerto Rican guy in a shitty maroon Toyota jamming all the windows down. He just goes around the block and he just has it pumping for everybody.
Jay Oakerson
Holla walla in the back of my Impala.
Big J Okerson
Woo.
Jay Oakerson
Come on. Did you guys not. You guys didn't try to ethnics in the 90s?
Bobby Kelly
I did.
Jay Oakerson
Well, this song wasn't in your atmosphere.
Big J Okerson
Not in the 90s, late 80s for a spell.
Jay Oakerson
Oh yeah, the Curtis Blow era for a spell. These all the breaks.
Big J Okerson
What was that song I was listening to? Oh, we listened to it last week. Ready for the world. All those slow jams.
Jay Oakerson
I love how much you've gotten into. At least are interested by Takashi69 well,
Big J Okerson
here's the problem with what you did. I Max had a lacrosse game the other day. One we get in the car, I put on Billy nice hype. I put on Billy to hype up the car and it kicks in. I'm kind of like, dude, he's gonna love this. And I'm letting him listen to this and immediately goes, dad, why are you listening to this? That guy's a pedophile and he raped young girls.
Jay Oakerson
Well, that's. Settle down.
Big J Okerson
That's what he said. That's what he goes. Dude, you shouldn't listen to this guy. He rapes young kids. He's a pedophile.
Jay Oakerson
Now listen, that does sound bad. But listen, when this beat kicks in,
Big J Okerson
it does kick in.
Jay Oakerson
Jacob, tell me this doesn't make you not give a if he kids trey way. Let me hit it my feel my nuts.
Big J Okerson
Lou you guess what?
Jay Oakerson
Whole squad full of killers.
Big J Okerson
I'm a mortar too. Shut up. One more pop, pop, pop, pop, pop
Jay Oakerson
to be
Big J Okerson
shot, shot, shot.
Jay Oakerson
Big J this and Big J that. On my dick and on my yak
Big J Okerson
I have to drop my address.
Jay Oakerson
You know where 69 at, Jacob? Come on, dude. Smash into a wall, dude. Headbutt. DJ Lou, make a move. Oh, somebody call a doctor. Gushy, gushy. I like my dick drip while I get my dick lick
Big J Okerson
tip.
Jay Oakerson
Jacob. Find your enemies, find your enemies. Call now and tell those say one smoke. I don't really see it though. Hurt of you for murder. You whole squad full of killers.
Big J Okerson
I'm a killer too.
Jay Oakerson
Send a shot. Shot, shot, shot, shots,
Big J Okerson
Shot, shot, shot. Oh, I gotta be careful, very careful with that song. Oh yeah, I was singing that song.
Bobby Kelly
I see. I wouldn't be able to. You would just. You're editing out the N word and It's. And we 80 of the song.
Big J Okerson
We know, we know that. I have a problem with that. With the nwa.
Jay Oakerson
Yeah.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah.
Big J Okerson
I was singing that song walking down the street. I was. I was blaring that song walking down the street and I was trying to. I was on St. Mark's and I. I kept having to go stop short at the. The old N word there.
Jay Oakerson
Pop, pop, pop. You really the St. Mark's no. Which I appreciate.
Big J Okerson
Oh.
Jay Oakerson
Can we look up the accusations of 6ix9ine and the settlements and whatever his legal issues.
Big J Okerson
I'm just going by what a 13 year old told me that he said, you got to get this off. He is a pedophile.
Jay Oakerson
Don't take his word for it.
Big J Okerson
Well, you know, I took your word for it and then you made me look like a piece of shit.
Jay Oakerson
No, I told you this guy is not. I told you to watch the documentary.
Big J Okerson
I did. I watched a documentary.
Jay Oakerson
A documentary.
Big J Okerson
Watched the documentary. I watched a. I watched two documentaries actually.
Jay Oakerson
Betsukashi 6 9.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, very interesting.
Jay Oakerson
Okay, here we go. Here we go.
Big J Okerson
It's a good song.
Jay Oakerson
Federal Racketeering and firearms. He was arrested alongside which I love. Listed alongside members of the Nine Trey Gangster Bloods. Treyway. He faced a man. Treyway scum gang. He faced a mandatory minimum of 37 years to life. Racketeering, drug trafficking, firearm offenses. He had a co op, highly publicized cooperation plea deal. Testifying against his former gang members. Just got two years in prison.
Bobby Kelly
Hate snitches.
Jay Oakerson
Didn't you hear the thing though where he says, what's loyalty though? If your boys kidnapped you and remember and.
Big J Okerson
And they.
Bobby Kelly
His girl take that snitch.
Big J Okerson
They this girl and they kidnapped and they kidnapped him. Yeah. Dude. What would you do if they your girl and they kidnapped you?
Bobby Kelly
I don't. I mean I don't snitch.
Big J Okerson
Is there a company, Jay, that we can hire to kidnap Jacob one day after work?
Jay Oakerson
Yes.
Big J Okerson
Like a van just pulls up and throws a hood over his head and they kidnap him.
Jay Oakerson
Let's see if he gives information up.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, we just. We just take him somewhere and we. We. Yeah, it sees if he rats us out to see if he's a snitch or not.
Bobby Kelly
Maybe you kidnap.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, I wonder.
Bobby Kelly
Here's what's gonna happen. Here's me. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah blah, blah.
Jay Oakerson
You're going to talk. You're going to talk quick.
Bobby Kelly
What do you want me to do?
Jay Oakerson
Probation, supervised release violations. After multiple infractions during his five year supervised release. Unauthorized travel to Vegas, failing drug test, domestic violence dispute. He served 45 days in jail in late 2024 following further violations, unapproved travel and a physical altercation, a federal judge order him back behind bars for three month prison sentence. Child sexual performance. Before gaining mainstream fame, he pleaded guilty to a felony count of use of a child in a sexual performance involving a 13 year old girl.
Big J Okerson
Well, there you go, snitch bitch.
Jay Oakerson
Yeah, I feel like still.
Big J Okerson
Wait a second now.
Jay Oakerson
No, no, fuck him. I mean he's a bad guy. I said before he's a bad guy.
Big J Okerson
Pedophile.
Jay Oakerson
I don't know if he fucked a girl. I think there was a girl backstage. When he tells a story, CDF on the story of what happened with the guy, he tells it.
Big J Okerson
We're just saying there's levels to the pedo game.
Jay Oakerson
No, I'm saying would you want your, would you want your life ruined if like a fucking 14 year old girl like came backstage with a guy and was like, hey, look at my pussy and stuff like, and you were looking and then they were like, oh, that girl was 14 by the way, or whatever. 16.
Big J Okerson
I would. This is more of a question for.
Jay Oakerson
I don't know. That's what happened. He may have fucking raped a girl for all you know. I have no idea.
Big J Okerson
This is more of a question for Louis.
Jay Oakerson
No, no, no. I know his answers. And they're bad ones. Yeah, they're bad ones.
Big J Okerson
If a 13 year old girl comes backstage, you kind of know. You got to know she's 13.
Jay Oakerson
I mean that girl came on ster years ago, whichever one of those groupies it was. And she was like, that was when the Allman brothers gang banged me when I was 15. And I was like, huh?
Big J Okerson
That was a different time.
Jay Oakerson
That's what she said.
Big J Okerson
It was a different time.
Jay Oakerson
That's what she said. At the time of the offense, he was 18 and the alleged victim was 13. The video depicted another man having sexual contact with the gal while he simulated sexual acts from behind and groped her. He pleaded guilty to one count of using a child in a sexual performance. He stuck a plea deal that allowed him to avoid prison time and required him to complete a thousand hours of community service and mental health treatment and return from pushing explicit content is there. Did he say something afterwards? Like, I think he said something about it. Like he. When he tells the story.
Big J Okerson
I don't know. I saw the documentary, not the documentary.
Jay Oakerson
Yeah, but you know, well, here's the thing I said before, but just because he's saying it like, you know, he didn't know, whatever, like that, like that doesn't mean he did, didn't Know, I don't think. I don't think we should invite this guy for dinner. I would, but that song makes me want to fucking put somebody through a wall.
Big J Okerson
I want to just ride on the outside of a car through Harlem.
Jay Oakerson
Well, I told you this too. He's on too much video. Because the problem is, even with the song, the songs that are so hard, and the one we used to play for Jacob all the time. Remember, Gummo is good too. It's great.
Big J Okerson
Yeah.
Jay Oakerson
So I said, those songs are really fun. But, like, yeah, once they looked into him, he was like, yeah, this guy's kind of a piece of shit. But I don't think he started as a piece of shit. Maybe he always was. But he seemed like he was like an artistic kid. It was going to, like, figure something out. Like, pretty industrious what he did.
Big J Okerson
And does anybody start as a piece of shit? Jay? I think we all start in a good way. And then, you know, somebody brings a 13 year old for a video, and you just a local, hey, what are you gonna do?
Jay Oakerson
The local people in his neighborhood seen, when they talked about him, they was like, no, it was always like an interesting kid. He was very, like, industrious. Like, sold his shirts and like, he made stuff. Like, it sounded like he was like a decent kid. And then I guess also because you're industrious and a decent neighbor doesn't mean you don't beat the out of chicks.
Big J Okerson
Well, I mean, look, that. That culture is fucking crazy. It's, you know, fighting and all that stuff. And then he. The thing about him getting the Trey Bloods, is that it Treyway, Treyways in just in the video. And because they got him in the video, they just kind of.
Jay Oakerson
They made him a gang member, absorbed him in.
Big J Okerson
What are you going to say?
Jay Oakerson
No, that's what I'm saying. Then they came to him like, so now you got to do some stuff as a gang member. He's like, no, that was just the video guys. And they're like, no, you're in the gang now.
Big J Okerson
If Jay ever met the TR ways, he would be in the bloods the next day. He can't even notice. Tell Noam what he thinks of him. Never mind the Bloods. Jay would have a bandana.
Jay Oakerson
I haven't said no to a black guy ever. I got to tell you this.
Big J Okerson
No, should you?
Jay Oakerson
I got to tell you this. These shorts that I'm wearing as we speak. I'm glad I brought this up. Is now my second clothing collaboration because Guy got me at the Mall.
Big J Okerson
You got to explain.
Jay Oakerson
Guy got me at the mall on.
Big J Okerson
We were out front one day, and this guy, you know, they walk around with their stuff, their clothing things. And this guy walked up to me and he's like, yo, man, I got. I got these shirts. I'm selling these shirts, my design. And I went, he'll buy them. And I pointed to Jay, and he went over to Jay.
Jay Oakerson
And sure enough, now we're in a collaboration long term.
Big J Okerson
Every day for like a month, he was like, yo, is the big guy.
Jay Oakerson
It was more than a month. I think he changed his route, though, because I haven't seen him since. In a while. But then the guy got me walking through the mall the other day, and he was like, my man, I like your style. I like, blah, blah, blah. And then he sort of recognized me. And then, like. And then when he recognized me, he's like. He's like, man, he goes, let me hook you up, man. Goes, I'm gonna give you half off. Which I'm sure it wasn't half off, but he's like, what do you like? He's like, zip up hoodie. And he showed me all the zip up hoodies. I'm like, nah, I'm a pullover hoodie. Guy goes, I'm pullover hoodie, half off.
Big J Okerson
How much are they? They're $500. Usually I'm gonna give them for $200 each.
Jay Oakerson
Yeah, kind of like that. Yeah, kind of like that. It was more like 3 hundo down to 150 kind of shit.
Big J Okerson
That's what they used to do at the leather stores in New York. Going out of business, half off, everything. Then you go in, and everything's still a thousand dollars. No, it was a. It was 2000.
Jay Oakerson
That's what he did. He showed like. Like, he just kind of showed me his stuff. And then we started doing math on a. I ended up picking these shorts and a hoodie that I do like the hoodie. The hoodie's actually very, very.
Big J Okerson
You can see right up your stomach here in those shorts, though.
Jay Oakerson
Can you?
Big J Okerson
Yeah. Well, Jacob, can.
Bobby Kelly
I got a good.
Jay Oakerson
Yeah, you're a peak, dude.
Big J Okerson
Wow, look at that. You got. You got to start tanning that upper leg, dude. That looks like an old cookie, man.
Jay Oakerson
No, I know.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, it looks like my mom's leg from the knee up.
Jay Oakerson
I gotta get back to spray tanning.
Big J Okerson
You gotta. You gotta. You gotta go out in the backyard nude.
Jay Oakerson
No.
Big J Okerson
Come on.
Jay Oakerson
I won't.
Big J Okerson
Why? Nobody sees you. You got a nice backyard with a big high, big High stuff.
Jay Oakerson
Not high enough.
Big J Okerson
No.
Jay Oakerson
I don't be able to see my dinker.
Big J Okerson
Just get some bikinis. No, go out in the backyard. I'll come over one day with bikinis. We both do it.
Jay Oakerson
Why are you bullying me?
Big J Okerson
Come on, let's have bikini day.
Jay Oakerson
Why do you want bikini day so bad with me?
Big J Okerson
I don't know, dude. I want to do bikini day. Fuck it.
Jay Oakerson
I need my spray tan again. I'm missing my spray tan real bad.
Big J Okerson
You just added a new accoutrement to your repertoire.
Jay Oakerson
I don't know where to go or when to do it.
Big J Okerson
Jersey. It's the fucking almost that's the problem.
Jay Oakerson
It's almost like they're three months backed up on things. I was like, oh, fuck that. I was going to do it this week. And then I was like, well, we could do it goes now has a July looking. And I was like, yeah, never mind.
Big J Okerson
You can buy one and have Christine spray tan you in your garage.
Jay Oakerson
There's not a chance.
Big J Okerson
I'll come over and spray. Tanya, do not. Why?
Jay Oakerson
Why? Because you used to fucking airbrush the backs of denim jackets, buddy.
Big J Okerson
I had my own airbrush.
Jay Oakerson
No, I was an artist. Just because you made Bobby and Dawn shirts with a tweety birdie Sylvester hugging.
Big J Okerson
It was first. It wasn't Bobby. That was Kristin Foley, my first girlfriend. I made all her sorority sisters hoodies for the hockey game they were going to and she was one of the hockey players. Oh yeah, that really?
Jay Oakerson
God, dude, you SAP.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, he probably came on the airbrush shirt that I made her.
Bobby Kelly
Sure.
Jay Oakerson
He busted all over for sure.
Big J Okerson
Yeah.
Jay Oakerson
Play that video of Tekashi explaining the misunderstanding here with this 13 year old girl that he hung out with and groped.
Bobby Kelly
I would say out of all the groupies of puck bunnies are the hottest out of any sport.
Big J Okerson
What?
Bobby Kelly
Do you believe that the puck bunnies.
Big J Okerson
What's a puck bunny?
Bobby Kelly
Hockey players.
Jay Oakerson
You sure about that?
Bobby Kelly
Yes.
Jay Oakerson
Really? Look, man, I would say maybe baseball.
Big J Okerson
What do they call baseball?
Jay Oakerson
Baseball.
Big J Okerson
Baseball.
Bobby Kelly
I don't know. But puck bunnies.
Big J Okerson
Home home plate whores, maybe.
Jay Oakerson
That's not bad.
Big J Okerson
What about football?
Jay Oakerson
Oh, how about bunt cunts?
Big J Okerson
Bunt cunts.
Jay Oakerson
I don't mind that a couple of bun cunts go to the 69 thing. This is fine. He's probably got a great.
Big J Okerson
Now this guy, I watched his documentary.
Jay Oakerson
This is academics.
Big J Okerson
This is his friend, right? This is his pal. I don't know, I think they kind of came up together and they. He knows him maybe. Well, that's right.
Bobby Kelly
He's Noogie Lamont.
Jay Oakerson
Oh. Oh, it's Noogie Lamont.
Big J Okerson
I was a kid myself, and did you know she was younger at all? Like, no. Like, I actually was told that she was 19 by her. Like, you know what I'm saying? I. The video that was uploaded of her that got me in trouble was uploaded by me because I thought it was completely legal. I literally, like, first 48 in myself because I'm just like, yo, like, I can't get in trouble for this. I'm gonna call Max right now. I'm gonna tell him he's a year
Jay Oakerson
old, understanding he's got to do a
Big J Okerson
little more investigating before he shames his
Jay Oakerson
dad out of girl said she was 19. He's 17.
Big J Okerson
Come on. This is.
Jay Oakerson
Come on.
Big J Okerson
My kid knows nothing.
Jay Oakerson
That's Max. Now's throwing out wild accusations.
Big J Okerson
That's what they do now. Dude.
Jay Oakerson
How racism continues on. This guy's not able to do his music anymore.
Big J Okerson
He was actually. He was looking out for his dad
Jay Oakerson
now. Did he try to tell you that song wasn't hype?
Big J Okerson
No, he said the song was good.
Jay Oakerson
You can't not like that song.
Big J Okerson
I mean, you played that song for me last week, and I can't. I've listened to it. I almost know the words.
Jay Oakerson
Yeah.
Big J Okerson
How many times I've listened to it, but it is hard to stop every other word.
Jay Oakerson
It's the best words in the song musically. Still my favorite. At the end of that one little dicky song, white dude, and he was like, hey. Because if I could say the N word, it would really help out my rhyme scheme. I mean, Fat Joe gets to say it, and he's like, Puerto Rican or something. It's pretty great.
Big J Okerson
It is wild that he. He does get a. I mean, he's around all the black dudes in the blood. Bloods in the. In Harlem, right Of Brooklyn. He's just screaming that word. Every other word.
Jay Oakerson
Yeah, Well, I mean, he came in, I mean, looking like a lunatic. He's got rainbow hair and rainbow teeth.
Big J Okerson
Damn. Yeah.
Jay Oakerson
Figure him out first. Yeah, that was Jacob. That was Jacob's old drop. When Jacob started talking, we would just play that first because it's so funny hearing this and then Jacob being like, I think we have to stop doing American Got Talent clips because of N word. Huh? What'd you say, Jacob? Oh, okay. He was like, so much N words. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, dude, it's a music video. Those are gang members.
Bobby Kelly
Don't say that. The lyrics, it wasn't plugging at the screen.
Jay Oakerson
Now I understand.
Bobby Kelly
Oh, I get it.
Jay Oakerson
Jesus Christ. A lot of N words. Holy Jacob.
Bobby Kelly
Black Lou.
Jay Oakerson
Did you forget? Black Lou's right behind you.
Big J Okerson
I mean, he's not wrong. Oh, we were talking before you came in. The chick from HGTV who, when she let it slip out with the word fart in front of it.
Jay Oakerson
Yeah.
Big J Okerson
It's like, that's your word. Like I say, oh, yeah. And douchebag or a fart.
Jay Oakerson
N word is definitely her jam.
Big J Okerson
That's her. Anytime something doesn't work out, anytime a door slams on her, that's her little fart. N word is her word.
Jay Oakerson
It's funny. They do it around the house with her mildly racist boyfriend. They have a good giggle and they say things like, get it out before Flora comes in. The cleaning lady.
Big J Okerson
She drops a meatball on the ground. Oh, fart.
Jay Oakerson
Yeah, yeah, yeah. All day long. That's her word. And she doesn't mean anything by it. I genuinely believe she's just like. Just the word sounds funny to her and she goes for it. I don't think she means anything racial by it whatsoever, but. What a dumbass.
Big J Okerson
Yeah. Put such a cute word in front of another. Another bad word.
Jay Oakerson
Bobby. Only you think the word fart is cute.
Big J Okerson
Oh, I wasn't.
Jay Oakerson
The rest of us hate it.
Big J Okerson
You don't think fart is great Cute. I don't like that. You. You. I don't like that. You got everybody in the room on your side before asking what Fart is a cute, awesome word.
Jay Oakerson
Maybe.
Big J Okerson
Christine fart. Cute fart.
Jay Oakerson
There we go.
Big J Okerson
Say it. You fart. You fart. You old fart.
Jay Oakerson
Right. Take it around the horn.
Big J Okerson
Thank you, Lou. No, I don't like it. Of course you didn't. You love. Because I hate farts. I'm not talking about the word.
Jay Oakerson
The.
Big J Okerson
The.
Jay Oakerson
All right, well, it's your fault. You've conditioned us.
Big J Okerson
I have? I've turned everybody against the word fart.
Bobby Kelly
You did this, too?
Big J Okerson
I haven't farted a long time, and I have to.
Jay Oakerson
I used to think farts were funny till I lived with them.
Big J Okerson
Remember the other day when you accused me of farting?
Bobby Kelly
Yeah.
Big J Okerson
It was me.
Jay Oakerson
I knew it. Of course, it was harder.
Bobby Kelly
And a liar.
Big J Okerson
It sounds like a new movie.
Jay Oakerson
Cropped us through the whole room. And I mean, really left us in it.
Big J Okerson
Well, I didn't think it was. You're a child at heart. Yes, I am.
Jay Oakerson
You're a child. That behavior, that was crazy. We were all sitting here talking biz, talking shop, and we had to leave.
Bobby Kelly
It was that bad. And then I came, and Jay stopped me before I saw you outside and said, bobby swears that was not him. Yeah, when everyone believed you.
Big J Okerson
In my defense, Can I say. In my defense is that I didn't think it was me.
Jay Oakerson
Why would you have a memory, but you did it. Repressed memory in therapy.
Bobby Kelly
You think? Why did you think that, Bobby?
Jay Oakerson
Think, Bobby, think back. Think back. Maybe you did fart.
Bobby Kelly
It was probably someone else's.
Big J Okerson
And I got blamed because I, I, I, I. When I was leaving, I didn't fart. You understand?
Bobby Kelly
No, you did.
Big J Okerson
I think I, I think it might have just snuck up.
Jay Oakerson
I'm seeing you. You're drinking fart juice as we speak. Why do you require so much protein?
Big J Okerson
This is not fart juice. This is to make my cum black. Cause that's what Don's into now.
Jay Oakerson
Okay, that's fair.
Big J Okerson
I have to drink. I work out every day, almost five days a day.
Jay Oakerson
You drink an inordinate amount of protein, have to eat. But you eat meals.
Big J Okerson
I do. I had turkey, ground turkey this morning.
Jay Oakerson
But eat meals. You're not supposed to be stacking protein on top of protein.
Big J Okerson
I need 200 grams of protein every day, and it's hard to get that much protein. So the only way I can get close to that is by adding a protein shake in there and some chick fil a at some point together. I had, I had ground turkey this morning with.
Jay Oakerson
You're going to have lunch in 25 minutes.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, I got to eat. I got to eat, man.
Jay Oakerson
You need protein in between.
Big J Okerson
I woke up this morning at 7 and did a hour chest workout and push ups. And I sauna, so I have chest
Jay Oakerson
workout, including sit ups or push ups.
Big J Okerson
I did push ups first. Joe. Joe Derosa, who actually is looking good, by the way. Muscle wise, he's got, he's been working out a lot. I don't know if you've seen him lately. He's actually looking good. And why are you looking at me like that? Why are you staring at me?
Jay Oakerson
Taking your word for it.
Big J Okerson
Okay. I thought you were staring at me. I just put you in a, a haze saying that Joe Deros looks good physically.
Jay Oakerson
Yeah. Okay.
Big J Okerson
Why do you believe me?
Jay Oakerson
Sure, he looks great. I just saw him like a week ago.
Big J Okerson
But he, he sent me this push up video that I did this morning. Like there's a, there's a right way to do push ups.
Jay Oakerson
And he let you know. And he's getting your workout advice from Joe DeRozan.
Big J Okerson
It's a sad day in life.
Jay Oakerson
And he's convinced you that he's looking really muscular now?
Big J Okerson
Well, he's looking.
Jay Oakerson
He went to Austin, Texas and got muscular.
Big J Okerson
Well, I, I seen it. I was on FaceTime. He actually looks pretty good.
Jay Oakerson
Part of comedy in Austin, Texas though, is working out somehow.
Big J Okerson
Always.
Jay Oakerson
You have to get involved, exercise. Shane looks great.
Big J Okerson
Well, I just had a friend of mine, he's in the hospital. He almost died.
Jay Oakerson
Tell him to go to Austin. You thought about doing comedy in Austin? Because it's honest to God, like a personal training sesh.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, I'm. I'm just at the age where I'm so everybody around me is getting sick. Like it's like that time where just people are falling off and getting sick and things are happening where I'm 55 going on 56. I just don't want to, I don't want to have that.
Jay Oakerson
Here's what you do. You got to think of all the people who are going to die before you. Probably Greg Rogel. Natterman's gonna be one of those. He's one of those 100 year olds.
Big J Okerson
Yeah. He's gonna be walking around the village
Jay Oakerson
for no reason doing what he did yesterday, 50 years from now.
Big J Okerson
Yeah. Plus his meal is boiled chicken and green beans. So you're gonna live forever on that.
Jay Oakerson
I know. Every day is not a gift though. When it's like that, you're really not season life by the horns, you know?
Big J Okerson
Yeah. Like who? Norrin's gonna live forever because he's Nosferatu.
Jay Oakerson
You think so?
Big J Okerson
Yeah. He'll just crawl into his casket and come up in 100 years and get another tranny.
Jay Oakerson
Very possible. Go back to his crypt.
Big J Okerson
Yeah. Voss, unfortunately is going to live a long time because he just turned a new leaf with Moses in, in, In Israel.
Jay Oakerson
You have to assume Vost had enough pre damage to his body though, that.
Big J Okerson
Well, he's been sober for 40 years. He hasn't done drugs or alcohol in 40 years. And he's, he's in pretty good shape for 70 year old guy, of course. Pretty good shape. I mean, Colin, he had a heart attack. That sucked. I have another friend who has heart problems who's just. I, you know, I don't. I just don't want to be a burden, Keith. I don't want to have. Don't have to do a gofundme because you guys won't help her.
Jay Oakerson
What are we talking about?
Big J Okerson
I called you.
Jay Oakerson
I'm doing a benefit every year for, for you. Yeah, I'm gonna make sure And I'm gonna buy Dawn a fur. A fur coat every year with it.
Big J Okerson
Don't buy her fur coat.
Jay Oakerson
Why?
Big J Okerson
Just get her a house.
Jay Oakerson
No, she's fine. What do you do for other things you just got?
Big J Okerson
You're gonna get her like jewelry and
Jay Oakerson
like Patrice's mom bought like a vacation house with what they give. They keep giving her so much money. No, she, she bought, she bought Johnny Depp's island with the money from the. Patrice, she's like, I'm fine. I don't need this money. She's worked her whole life. I don't know what this benefit's for. It's like she'd be living in a box if not.
Big J Okerson
No, she can't work. Bad feet. She's got diabetes, of course.
Jay Oakerson
But she's an old lady. She has retirement. And all this, by the way, make her life comfortable. I get that. But I think she's like uncomfortable to a point with this where she's like, I guess I'm gonna get a monster truck.
Big J Okerson
Well, you know what she does with the money? She donates it to Diabetes Foundation.
Jay Oakerson
Fat kids.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, fat kids. Fat kids.
Jay Oakerson
Good move.
Big J Okerson
But Don.
Jay Oakerson
Diabetes Foundation.
Announcer
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Jay Oakerson
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I went to Cuba last year, went through a hurricane and didn't speak Spanish and it really hit me. I speak one language. Most Americans only speak one language and everybody else speaks two or three. And I vowed that day to learn Spanish and I'm going to go back to Cuba and know how to get bread, say hello, check into my hotel, do all the stuff I wanted to do that I couldn't do last year. That's happening with Babel. If you're traveling this summer, here is a real travel hack. Don't wait until you land to start learning the language. Instead, try babbel. Even just 10 minutes a day, that's what I do with Babbel can help you start having real conversations in as little as three weeks. Lessons are quick, practical, and built by more than 200 language experts. Experts. And instead of memorizing random vocab, you're learning phrases you'll use. Ordering dinner, asking for directions, or talking with locals. That's what you need. This is how you learn the language by speaking it. Now I can go into a store, I talk to the guys at the garage. I can actually have a conversation Am I fluent yet? No, but I'm definitely getting better at Spanish. Babble's awesome. If you've got summer travel coming up, now's the time to start so you can actually use what you learn on the trip. Right now, Babel is offering listeners up to 60% off. Go to babbel.com bonfire. That's Babbel B A B-B B E L.com bonfire for up to 60% off. Rules and restrictions may apply.
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Bobby Kelly
You know your shakes are the reason the last time when you went on a farting spree, I changed my shakes. It's not working, obviously.
Big J Okerson
No, dude, it's worked for the majority. When I was farting at the beginning, it was a different shake, but I was having like three of them a day. Now I changed my shakes up. I don't fart.
Jay Oakerson
You're over protein.
Big J Okerson
I. I actually.
Bobby Kelly
42 grams of protein in that tiny bottle.
Jay Oakerson
Yeah, right.
Big J Okerson
That's right.
Bobby Kelly
I think your body can't handle it.
Jay Oakerson
It's like eating a stalk of broccoli.
Big J Okerson
I just don't have the time to eat a stalk of broccoli. This is easier for me. I'm trying. I gotta get 200 grams of protein in my body every day.
Jay Oakerson
Broccoli's just not protein.
Bobby Kelly
I. I'd like that.
Big J Okerson
What?
Bobby Kelly
You're doing your workout. You get. You're bulking. You look like you're. You're muscular.
Jay Oakerson
Wow, dude, you are fumfering with those lines.
Bobby Kelly
No, I was gonna say you and Jay both have bulk.
Big J Okerson
Yeah.
Bobby Kelly
Like your muscles are big. Weird way to say mine are. I'm. Well, I think I'm more defined, but you have more. You guys are bulky.
Big J Okerson
We didn't ask about you. We were waiting for you to talk about us. I don't know why you're gonna bring.
Bobby Kelly
I'm giving you credit. When I felt. I feel your chests and your arms regularly. I think we all know that by now.
Jay Oakerson
Come get A taste right now, as we're just sitting here casual. Come get a taste real quick.
Big J Okerson
Come on, go get a taste.
Jay Oakerson
If you wouldn't mind, Jacob, just give me a little.
Bobby Kelly
By the way, I wasn't fishing, but since you're asking.
Jay Oakerson
Yeah, come over here. Just give me a taste.
Bobby Kelly
Over and give it again.
Jay Oakerson
Just give it a feel.
Big J Okerson
Go get a nice taste of it. Tell me what you think.
Jay Oakerson
Just feel the upper chest as I'm just, like, sitting at ease. You know what I mean? It's fun. Not bad at all.
Bobby Kelly
No, see, Jay's a got a big. A big chest.
Big J Okerson
Okay, well, get over here. Sweet. Sweetie, sweetie.
Bobby Kelly
He's got big arms.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, come on over here. Yeah, come on over here. Get a little.
Bobby Kelly
Got the valley. You both have a valley.
Jay Oakerson
I got a nice valley.
Big J Okerson
Once you find out about my valley right here.
Bobby Kelly
Let me feel your chest valley.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, come over here.
Jay Oakerson
He squeezes boobs together harder.
Big J Okerson
I'm not squeezing my boobs.
Bobby Kelly
Bobby's arm.
Jay Oakerson
Look how much she's squeezing his arms.
Bobby Kelly
He has a bicep bulge right here.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, yeah, you can do that. You can check the tricep, too.
Jay Oakerson
If you want a tumor.
Big J Okerson
You want to check that out. Get it that way.
Bobby Kelly
Bicep.
Jay Oakerson
I don't know why it's so gay when you guys do it.
Bobby Kelly
I'm gonna feel his valley.
Jay Oakerson
Check his valley.
Bobby Kelly
It's like you could die falling off this cliff.
Jay Oakerson
Yeah.
Bobby Kelly
How?
Big J Okerson
Check the upper chest, though. Check that up a chest. I feel. I got to there. Smile.
Jay Oakerson
I get it.
Bobby Kelly
God, he's got a nice valley.
Big J Okerson
How's that?
Jay Oakerson
Because he's holding a little more weight than I am.
Big J Okerson
That's nuts. That's not. That's just a nuts thing to say. That's fat on fat crime.
Jay Oakerson
He's just holding a little more weight than I am.
Big J Okerson
Moment.
Jay Oakerson
So his valley feels a little bigger.
Big J Okerson
I think you're eating too much protein.
Bobby Kelly
I do think Bobby.
Big J Okerson
It says healthy for. It's 82 to 110 grams per day. And I saw. Eating a lot of protein that Christine, if you haven't realized this yet, crush protein. Hang on a second. Christine can just go on and ask her question in her way and come up with her answer, but when you're working out, when you're working out, when you're lifting weights four to five times a week now type this in.
Jay Oakerson
You're not going out there and doing grueling NFL workouts, buddy.
Big J Okerson
I'm more. I mean, my workouts are nuts. Nuts. I'll come over and work out with you one time. You tell me how crazy the work.
Jay Oakerson
I'm not going to believe that's the one you do every day.
Big J Okerson
It's the one I do every day.
Jay Oakerson
I believe you'll come over and do some hard workout that day. That's what I would do if I was lying. The same lie.
Big J Okerson
Then you don't trust me and you think I'm a liar. And I don't know where we go from here. Because I trust you.
Jay Oakerson
No, you don't.
Big J Okerson
I do trust you.
Jay Oakerson
Neither of us.
Big J Okerson
I trust you.
Jay Oakerson
Come check out. Can I show you my super difficult workout when you come over?
Big J Okerson
How about this?
Jay Oakerson
I'll come over, do you three and a half hours.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, dude, your work is nuts. You don't have a three and a half hour workout. When are you gonna smoke in between sets?
Jay Oakerson
It's in a garage. I can smoke whatever I want.
Big J Okerson
Type in 230 pound man. Working out. Yeah. Look at that.
Bobby Kelly
Cavalier says one gram of protein per
Big J Okerson
pound to 175 for weight. What's the weight? A 230 pound dude working out five days a week. Four days.
Jay Oakerson
Week?
Big J Okerson
Yeah, it's 175 grams of protein. There you go.
Jay Oakerson
How about four days a week? Because now he's done it four days a week.
Big J Okerson
Well, I just want to balance it out because sometimes I do four, I try to do five.
Bobby Kelly
Work it, girl, work it.
Big J Okerson
What does it say now, Christine? There you go. Bang. Yeah, there you go. So what are you going to say now, Christine, that you have the actual information and the facts to ask my question? It still seems like a lot of protein. Doesn't matter if it's a lot. It seems like a lot to me. That's why it is a lot. It's hard to get 200 grams in. That's why I have to drink one of these or I don't get the amount of protein in.
Bobby Kelly
Jeff Cavalier says you're on track. That's the right amount of protein.
Big J Okerson
That's the right. Who's Jeff? Who's that?
Jay Oakerson
That's the gay guy that Jacob likes to phone over.
Bobby Kelly
He's got a family.
Big J Okerson
Who's the gay guy you like to fawn over?
Bobby Kelly
I know the Jeff Cavaliere, the muscular
Jay Oakerson
guy that he masturbates.
Big J Okerson
Oh, you mean the fitness guru, the rubber band guy.
Jay Oakerson
Yeah, the guy that he's owning out there. He slaps his penis around.
Bobby Kelly
He's the guy who did the. I showed you all the tests to prove whether you're in shape.
Jay Oakerson
Bank over here.
Big J Okerson
Oh, yeah. Oh, that's guy. That guy's 100 gay. His sweatpants are too tight.
Jay Oakerson
He likes showing.
Big J Okerson
J. I actually I do one of his workouts.
Bobby Kelly
He's the best.
Big J Okerson
I do. I don't know if he's the best, but I do. He's. He's the best for guys over 45. Let's put it that way.
Jay Oakerson
For older gentlemen.
Big J Okerson
It's for. He does a lot of stuff for older gentlemen.
Bobby Kelly
Well, he'll. He does videos about how older people should approach weights.
Big J Okerson
That's right. That's why he does. I do watch him.
Bobby Kelly
But he's awesome.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, he's awesome because he's mostly shirtless in the videos.
Jay Oakerson
You do love shirtless guys.
Big J Okerson
You do.
Jay Oakerson
It's pretty crazy how much you love shirtless guys.
Bobby Kelly
I sure do like to look like that.
Big J Okerson
There's Jacob right there.
Jay Oakerson
There you are, buddy. Jacob, you do look like that in my mind. There you are, clanging and banging, dude. Yeah. Get after it. Get after it. Two more. Two more. Two more.
Bobby Kelly
It's hard.
Big J Okerson
Is that from our workouts?
Bobby Kelly
Band workouts?
Big J Okerson
Don't we have audio from the band workouts?
Bobby Kelly
The band workout sounds like gay porn if you don't hear this.
Big J Okerson
But if you could hear Jacob in the band workout.
Jay Oakerson
Little zoom we do goes for it.
Bobby Kelly
You can hear.
Jay Oakerson
It's probably using the thickest band.
Big J Okerson
Oh, he's. Do you use the thickest band or use the medium?
Bobby Kelly
I change it for each exercise I use them.
Big J Okerson
Damn, dude. Can you use the heavy? Have you ever used the heavy?
Bobby Kelly
Heavy for a bunch of stuff.
Big J Okerson
What?
Bobby Kelly
Squats stuff.
Jay Oakerson
You couldn't understand things.
Big J Okerson
You gotta get big dicks in your ass,
Jay Oakerson
Christine. I work out about 15 minutes a day, three times a week and I do 25 shower squats every day. How much protein should I be getting in?
Big J Okerson
125 grams of protein. How big are you? How heavy are you? What's your weight?
Jay Oakerson
I have no idea. My last time I weighed myself ever, I was 250. But I don't know. That was a long time ago.
Big J Okerson
She probably weigh like two. You probably weigh the same as me. 230.
Jay Oakerson
No. No way.
Big J Okerson
No. 225.
Jay Oakerson
I guess I'm somewhere still around 250.
Big J Okerson
250.
Jay Oakerson
I guess. 240 maybe.
Big J Okerson
Yeah. Dude, you'd be 200 grams of protein a day. Two. Two. If you want the muscle to actually grow, buddy.
Jay Oakerson
Come on, muscles there, dude. Jacob. You saw Jacob just get half hard touching me. Oh, I need 250 grams. Bobby. Breaking up one of them shakes Dude.
Big J Okerson
Yeah.
Jay Oakerson
Time to fart attack this place.
Big J Okerson
I got a bar for you.
Jay Oakerson
No, thanks. I can't. I can't over protein.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, I don't. I only have one.
Jay Oakerson
I like eating or drinking thick stuff that much.
Big J Okerson
I love. I love protein drinks. I love it. I love drinking it.
Jay Oakerson
Do you fart or am I having phantom fart smell right now?
Big J Okerson
Did not fart. I promise you right now. I will make a promise to everybody in this room next. If I fart again, I will own it immediately.
Jay Oakerson
That doesn't make it feel bad. We just. Everything looks right.
Big J Okerson
I will make another promise. I'll make another promise. I will try not to ever fart again in the air. And you guys, I've made a conscious decision to change my protein drink, to change my diet, and to not fart in the studio. I hope you know there has been progress.
Bobby Kelly
Oh, you lied so well. When I went down outside and you came up to me. I didn't make. I want. You stopped me before I said a word. I want you to know that wasn't me. Well, because it was so real. That was not me.
Big J Okerson
I want to say this. I didn't think it was me. I swear to God. That was not me. You understand? I swear to God. I didn't. I didn't fart on the way out. It must have been like a fart.
Jay Oakerson
Remember you said I thought you were a liar. Maybe this is the reason why the
Bobby Kelly
fart started from when it went from this way, like a. Like a shoehorn from where you sit around the table.
Big J Okerson
It might have been. It might have been a fart pocket. A fart pocket that I had that I might have too, did a little earlier. And then it was a little pocket that stayed in there. And then when I got up, it kind of released.
Bobby Kelly
How do you not. I mean, there's something wrong if you don't know that you farted. There's something wrong with what you're asking.
Big J Okerson
I'm not perfect, Jacob. I'm not a perfect human being.
Jay Oakerson
Yeah, but that's more concerning than not perfect.
Big J Okerson
Well, be concerned. I'm sorry.
Bobby Kelly
Actually, I was gonna ask for your. Your thoughts on this. This goes along with what we're talking about here.
Jay Oakerson
Your own farts?
Bobby Kelly
No.
Jay Oakerson
Okay.
Bobby Kelly
I discussed this with Lou and Lewis a few weeks ago. Now, I swear to God, the last thing after the show, after our live show, right before I go home. 37 bathroom. I go and pee before I leave, right? But invariably, every time you look in the stall, every one of them is clogged. Am I lying? I mean, they can attest to this on this floor. No, 37.
Jay Oakerson
Even up. Okay?
Bobby Kelly
Every single toilet is, like, completely clogged, destroyed. Here's my thought.
Big J Okerson
That's the people that work here. The talent floor is always nice. The people that work here. You guys are animals.
Bobby Kelly
No, I've seen it down here, But I'm telling you, 37 is a special case. I guess I've never.
Big J Okerson
It's a bunch of people in a cube working all day on a phone, eating all kinds of horseshit. And they go in there and they
Bobby Kelly
said, that's my question. I. I've never clogged a bolt. I don't understand what it is. Is it the duty or is it the paper?
Jay Oakerson
Paper.
Big J Okerson
Yeah.
Bobby Kelly
See, now, I think that's what Lewis said. I wanted your opinion, because when I go in there, it looks like they wrapped a catcher's mitt of toilet paper around their hands.
Jay Oakerson
Of course.
Bobby Kelly
What is happening.
Jay Oakerson
They do. I do that too. But I mean, within reason of this. And also, it's people not being smart enough to, like. I'll do that. I'll wrap toilet paper around like crazy, too. But every two. I'm flushing. Do you know what I'm saying? I'll flush six times if I have to get. But I'm not gonna. Yeah, the people, they just don't give a fuck. They just go. Someone else will deal with it because there's pieces of shit that work here.
Bobby Kelly
That's. I swear. That's my thought.
Big J Okerson
I'll wipe a couple times. Flush. I usually poop. Flush, wipe, flush, wipe, Flush.
Jay Oakerson
A public bathroom. I'm gonna definitely flush before I even take a peek at what I've done. Yeah, it's gonna be gone.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, I don't want that around.
Bobby Kelly
Okay, but you're wiping once and then flushing. But still you're wrapping, wrapping, wrapping. What are they doing different than you?
Jay Oakerson
They're not flushing.
Big J Okerson
They're not. They're shitting. Wiping. Wiping What? And then flushing.
Bobby Kelly
When we're done, they wipe, throw it, wipe again, throw it, wipe again.
Big J Okerson
They're one flush person. We're a three flush people.
Jay Oakerson
If need, I'll be a six flush person. But I'll come. I'm not gonna. Because two things I'm not gonna be. I'm not gonna be embarrassed by clogging the toilet, but I'm not gonna leave with a shitty ass.
Announcer
All right.
Jay Oakerson
With your stupid dry toilet paper.
Bobby Kelly
I swear, this is the thought that. That came to me after all, that was like, these guys, I think they actually. It's so regular to them. I think they prefer clogging a bowl here because they don't want to deal with it at home. Well, also, let the help do it.
Big J Okerson
These toilets are automatic flushes, too, right?
Bobby Kelly
They're way more powerful than a home flush.
Big J Okerson
But sometimes the automatic flush doesn't go off.
Jay Oakerson
Is there not a button you can push, though? An override?
Bobby Kelly
There is a button.
Jay Oakerson
There's a button.
Big J Okerson
Yeah.
Bobby Kelly
But these toilets are way more powerful. They could, like, suck your asshole out. You feel the suction.
Big J Okerson
By law, in a. In a place of business, you have to have the most powerful shit. It's called the super flush. I think you have to have that by law.
Bobby Kelly
I just. I don't understand what is going on with your ass. You need that much paper that you're.
Big J Okerson
What's up, buddy?
Jay Oakerson
Is there any reality to what you just said?
Big J Okerson
Yes, I had to. I had to get the super flush for Max's toilet.
Bobby Kelly
You were tired of cutting it up by law?
Big J Okerson
No, that was because he has fucking logs the size of fucking pool sticks. So when I had the two bathrooms redone, I go, look, my kid shits really big turds. He goes, super flush. It's a certain toilet that has more. Yeah, it's more suction and it just. But it's loud, you know? Like, my toilet upstairs is a regular. So it goes cool. It's nice and quiet, but you got the super flushes.
Jay Oakerson
Like, super flush. It also says super flush has nothing to do at all with the. With the thing of the flushing is the high efficiency. Some for poop, some for pee.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, well. Well, you. There's a double. You can do a P1 and then A. A poop one.
Jay Oakerson
No. Right.
Big J Okerson
But it's a. It's a very loud toilet. Like, this flush is like the toilets here, they're loud. So a lot of people don't like that loud flush sound to me.
Bobby Kelly
I just think if you're doing this regularly, like, change your life if it's happening.
Big J Okerson
The fact that they don't care. They treat this. These bathrooms like a McDonald's. Somebody else will deal with it.
Bobby Kelly
That's it. I let them do. I'll do this at work.
Jay Oakerson
But everybody who works here, except who deals with us is a piece of shit. Unless you deal with the bonfire, but everybody else is a fucking piece of shit scumbag. No, I think it's that. I don't think it's. I think it's people going in there. I don't give a fuck. Like, someone Else will deal with it. I think it's a guy in a suit 90% of the time.
Big J Okerson
It's always been like this for as long as I've been here 20 fucking four years.
Bobby Kelly
And just got to bring it up.
Big J Okerson
And it's every bathroom. It's downstairs too.
Jay Oakerson
I bet they all blame the rap guys in the meetings. Pieces of shit like, oh, who kid took a duke again.
Bobby Kelly
I just never.
Big J Okerson
Somebody went through and flushed all the toilets. Would it solve the problem? Like, is this like an actual overflowing
Bobby Kelly
thing or is this like up to the top? Because they've clogged it. They clogged and then they flush, flush it again. And then it kept going.
Big J Okerson
Ew. And they're like that. Yeah, they, they, they don't, they don't. You can't shit, wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe and then flush because you're gonna clog the toilet. You got a shit flush, wipe, flush, wipe, flush. You got a flush. A couple times they might be shit.
Jay Oakerson
Flush, wipe, wipe, flush, wipe, wipe, flush, wipe, wipe, flush.
Big J Okerson
I actually. Shit flush, wipe, wipe, flush, wipe, wipe, flush, check, wipe, flush.
Jay Oakerson
Oh, well, I go check, check, white, white, flush, wipe white flush, flush, flush, wipe, wipe, wipe, flush, flushy, flush, wipe, wipe, flush, wipe, wipe, wipe, flush.
Big J Okerson
Can I tell you, the last time
Jay Oakerson
I didn't care if I clogged it, I threw an extra wipe in there. I don't know if you caught that. I don't give a fuck. At somebody else's problem. I'm also a piece of shit.
Bobby Kelly
I'm not here. You know, I don't like to brag, but my duties are never messy. The least amount of paper because it's the.
Big J Okerson
What you eat, you eat very clean. Like dogs eat. The food. The dogs eat are very clean. And they. Yeah, dog can just. And then jump on the couch. It's just a little in the face.
Bobby Kelly
So they're having.
Jay Oakerson
It's like little lettuce and carrot poop.
Big J Okerson
So, yeah, we're supposed to like that.
Bobby Kelly
But they're. They're. They're not a problem.
Big J Okerson
We're supposed to like that. But we eat so many processed that we get mooey pooey butthole shits. So we have to wipe more. But if we ate.
Bobby Kelly
They're diets are terrible. That's why. So their diets are causing the amount of paper there.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, the guy's bringing in a fucking bag lunch from his wife or his fucking studio apartment from Astoria. Chick fil A. Yeah, Some horseshit.
Jay Oakerson
And he's just downstairs. Stupid taco Place.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, guys trying to get through the day. He's going to a food truck out front and eating that. He's gonna go back on a phone so, you know, he can pay our paychecks.
Jay Oakerson
So sorry if he leaves a fucking fat loaf in the toilet when you're just trying to take a piss.
Bobby Kelly
Come with me to 37 after the show. I'll show you the.
Big J Okerson
I don't wanna do that.
Jay Oakerson
Don't invite us to men's rooms with you, you weirdo. Here we go again. This guy's getting racist and gay today.
Big J Okerson
You want to check out clogged toilets? That's your idea of adventure?
Bobby Kelly
Is this like 100 of the time?
Jay Oakerson
Let's make sure there's not too many N words up there before we go in the bathroom together. This guy's having a day, huh?
Big J Okerson
Piece of chat. This guy's having a day.
Jay Oakerson
This is Jacob's coming up party.
Bobby Kelly
I feel like they want you to smell it too. For real?
Big J Okerson
You think a guy takes a and then wants to see it? I don't think so.
Bobby Kelly
At the gym, it is 100%. They want you to smell their. They're protein.
Big J Okerson
You go to the gym?
Bobby Kelly
Yeah.
Big J Okerson
You have a gym?
Bobby Kelly
I have a gym for leg workout.
Big J Okerson
I thought you were just a. At home. We're just for legs.
Bobby Kelly
For legs?
Big J Okerson
Yeah, that's.
Bobby Kelly
I can't get the. The leg workout. I want the guy.
Big J Okerson
Your boyfriend doesn't have a leg workout like in the living room.
Bobby Kelly
Bodybuilder.com. i don't know why you're putting down our band workout.
Jay Oakerson
He can't do it at home, dude. It's impossible for him to have a reason to get knees slightly bent while he leans forward in a shower at home.
Big J Okerson
Right?
Jay Oakerson
I guess to do that. Yes.
Big J Okerson
Thanks, Jay, for making sense. So you need to lie on your belly and then curl your little legs up so people can see your butt
Jay Oakerson
flexing, see your cornhole.
Big J Okerson
You're like, you shower at the gym too?
Bobby Kelly
After your leg workout way.
Big J Okerson
Oh.
Jay Oakerson
What do you do? You just come walk home?
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, well, I live alone. I walk home.
Big J Okerson
He said come walk home. You didn't get it. He said come walk.
Jay Oakerson
Jacob goes with a load all over his face as a part of a dare. Hi. Hi, everyone. I'm Jacob. Doing a little come walk back from the gym. Just coming back from the gym, gang. Hey, guys, come walking Jacob. Someone's gonna make that. AI. You know, he's the guy doing a come walk after the gym.
Big J Okerson
He's the guy at the gym that People talk about, oh, this leg guy shows up once a week and just does legs and leaves with cum on his face.
Jay Oakerson
And then he watches other people work out and does this noise a lot.
Bobby Kelly
I hate going to the gym.
Jay Oakerson
What?
Bobby Kelly
I hate going to the gym.
Jay Oakerson
Too many n words there.
Bobby Kelly
Too many people with their cameras. They have to live stream their workouts.
Big J Okerson
What gym is it? Equinox or something like that.
Bobby Kelly
It's a New York sports club. By the way, 15 women there. Jay. I keep saying every time I'm there, like, Jay would love this girl. Bobby would love this girl.
Jay Oakerson
Girl, woman.
Bobby Kelly
Stunning. Well, you know, I'm talking about women. They're all women.
Jay Oakerson
Not anymore, I don't. Now since we have this Takashi 69 Hubbubs going on. Next thing you know, I'm like, Jacob told me she was of age.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, the cameras at the gym are nuts now.
Bobby Kelly
It's awful. Yeah, you walk a gauntlet to get to the other machine.
Big J Okerson
I kind of like it.
Jay Oakerson
The gym I had guys. The gym I had in my building before we moved out to Jersey was. No one in there was filming. It was so small, like the thinness of the actual gym. Just like you've been dumb too. It didn't look. You were working at an awesome like big gym. Yeah, and I've never. I haven't gone since like Crunch, which I don't remember that ever being a thing at Crunch years ago. It was kind of just before the.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, it was before everything.
Jay Oakerson
The influencer workout. Shit.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, I do. Anytime fitness. I remember. And there were a bunch of them around and I used to go in at like one in the morning and it would just be me and some Spanish dude and we would just work out every once in a while. Some sex, some not with him. But every once in a while a hot chick would be in there on the treadmill or some machine.
Jay Oakerson
I bet she was super comfortable. I'm sure you guys made her feel very comfortable too, man. I'm sure you and that Indian weren't.
Bobby Kelly
I have a.
Jay Oakerson
Falling over yourselves over.
Bobby Kelly
I have a rule. But man, it's difficult sometimes because there's hotties there.
Big J Okerson
You only come in my hand.
Jay Oakerson
You'll do it, but you're only going to top up.
Big J Okerson
No, I drink it from my hand. I don't want to drink it from the tap. Is that your rule? I have to sip it. I can't guzzle it.
Jay Oakerson
Kissing for your relationships only.
Big J Okerson
Yeah.
Bobby Kelly
No, no, look, don't leer.
Big J Okerson
What?
Bobby Kelly
That's my rule. If I see a hot Woman, you just can't. You can't. Because I see the guys that are just way too, too much.
Big J Okerson
Yeah.
Bobby Kelly
And you don't know how a woman's gonna snap at the gym. So, you know, you got to get a look in. You can't go crazy.
Jay Oakerson
I think if you put fate in front of me, I go with it. I never would post up necessarily when like Crunch Fitness now in. In whatchamacallit, CrossFit always. If I'm getting through this dude, for like that warm up thing, I'm just like, I'm posting up in front of a girl who's wearing these stupid. We've all let her know. The society's let her know. These pants are see through.
Big J Okerson
Yeah.
Jay Oakerson
And if you're not wearing underwear, for sure your lips are going to be visible. If you're going to show them, I'm going to look at them. But when I started going to the Crunch gym, I let it all work out through fate. So I wouldn't set up like on a, on a treadmill. I wouldn't sit up on a treadmill because there was any girls around us. I would set up where I couldn't really see much. I would just kind of focus on my phone or whatever I was watching or listening to. But then you put your fucking fat ass right in front of my face. I'm probably gonna look at it a bunch.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, I did that hot yoga in Cleveland a couple weeks ago. I was surrounded by 25, 20 to 30 year olds smoking. Pretty much all them except for one was smoking hot in yoga pants. And it was just.
Jay Oakerson
Yeah. Also you don't have, you don't have to work out in pants that have an extra seam that like hugged your ass crack. I mean like you're doing that for people to look at your ass.
Big J Okerson
Yeah. If I can. If I can see the wrinkles on your asshole from your yoga pants, I should be able to look.
Bobby Kelly
That's the thing. Now that line cover your.
Jay Oakerson
I work out in basketball shorts.
Big J Okerson
Yeah. I worked out in a Ron Bennington cancer shirt and a pair of Nike shorts.
Jay Oakerson
If you, if you're a guy who's wearing like bike shorts to like work out in the gym, you want people to see your like you what's. Because you want people to look at your outline of your dick. For sure.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, I don't want that at all.
Jay Oakerson
No, I'm not looking for that.
Big J Okerson
That.
Jay Oakerson
I like big, big baggy pants. I like baggy pants. And then I hope that my, the strings of the pants as they bounce around when I move. You think it's my big dick banging into it, but it's not because my wiener's all tucked away and sweaty.
Big J Okerson
I just don't want my shirt popping up in my stomach popping out at any point at the gym.
Jay Oakerson
Yeah. If the argument here is that these are just the most comfortable is like that's crazy. That's just a stupid thing to say
Big J Okerson
to be a little slutty. But I was surrounded by those pants around 25, smoking hot girls in their 20s. And that was in front of me the whole time. Ever. I was so hard not to look. Yeah, so hard.
Jay Oakerson
But I mean, leggings are, listen, the most. The most regular. Just like leggings that you're just going to actually work out and I mean, are still like, if it's a sexy girl, it's going to be sexy to a degree, you know, no matter what. But I mean, those ones, those ones seem like they're saying to look at your ass.
Big J Okerson
The only thing that makes those not sexy is when you can see the sweat in the twat area. When you know that they're Sweat. Sweat. I hate it.
Jay Oakerson
Really?
Big J Okerson
Yeah. I don't want you.
Jay Oakerson
It's a weird line to draw.
Big J Okerson
I don't want to see your. Your twat sweating.
Jay Oakerson
Twat sweat.
Bobby Kelly
None of the women at the gym, actually maybe a couple dress like slut athletic. But they're just hot like you said. Yeah, they're just. Yeah, but if you're insanely.
Big J Okerson
If you're wearing those to a gym, you want people to look at your smoking hot ass.
Bobby Kelly
You know, there are quite a few of those.
Jay Oakerson
Speaking of twat and sweating, why does it say Leslie Jones has a stand up set here?
Big J Okerson
Oh, I just, I didn't know if you guys were.
Jay Oakerson
There's a thing around the pulse.
Big J Okerson
Finger on the pulse.
Jay Oakerson
I don't.
Big J Okerson
There was a clip of her performing because she doesn't like. What was the comedy she doesn't like?
Jay Oakerson
Oh, the. When the Tony thing. She says shock comedy.
Big J Okerson
Shock comedy.
Jay Oakerson
She doesn't like shock comedy. Funny. So where they're just like, you know, like yelling and just shocking things to get a crowd, right? Yeah, she did say that.
Big J Okerson
Yeah.
Jay Oakerson
Is that just. That plays in here?
Big J Okerson
I don't know.
Jay Oakerson
Okay, let's see. Who would.
Big J Okerson
Stacy, Stacy, Stacy. Need his nutrition. But alas, you know, them dicks is never connected to anybody. The good dicks never connected to a good man.
Jay Oakerson
She looks like Sydney Portier.
Big J Okerson
What?
Jay Oakerson
Looks like Sidney Portier.
Big J Okerson
It's almost like God just gets she
Jay Oakerson
looks like old Harry Bellavante.
Big J Okerson
Be like, hey, put that dick on him. Jesus. He's gonna kill him. He's gonna kill him.
Jay Oakerson
One day I was putting his groceries in his.
Big J Okerson
Not his, but his mama's refrigerator.
Jay Oakerson
No, she looks like Al Jarreau. Some walk by night, some fly by day.
Big J Okerson
And his mama was standing there and she was like, you could do so much better.
Jay Oakerson
You just can't.
Big J Okerson
It's my son.
Jay Oakerson
I know him.
Big J Okerson
Now I got another son. Okay? He is a good man. He got a good job. He'll do you right. He'll treat you so nice. Now, his dick is not as big as Stacy's, but he is a good man. And I was like, nah, Jacob loves it. I teach Stacy how to read.
Jay Oakerson
Why is she pushing her belly out like that? That.
Big J Okerson
She's not the out. I think that's her belly, dude.
Jay Oakerson
I didn't hear a word of that. I didn't hear a word.
Big J Okerson
I love it. It's like, guys talk about the dicks, and that's all talk about. It's like every time I turn on a female community, it's about a dick or a.
Jay Oakerson
Sure. Oh, her complaining about the shot. But I don't think she was saying dirty comedy even. She was saying, like, shock comedy. But it's like she's just. I don't think what she was doing there was shock comedy necessarily.
Big J Okerson
Not to me and you. Because we talk about our dicks all the time.
Jay Oakerson
No. Yeah. There's nothing shocking about that. It was just so.
Big J Okerson
I'm just joking, so.
Jay Oakerson
I know, I know. She's just like.
Big J Okerson
When I say something funny, you go, no, no, I'm being serious, Jay. Now cnn, J. No. Jesus Christ.
Jay Oakerson
I was getting towards funny stuff.
Big J Okerson
I was trying to do it to you. No, that's not it. Anyways, let's move on.
Jay Oakerson
No one else do anything's what she looks like. I had so many good ones. We landed on Al Jaro and that's playing now. But there's so many more dmx. Now he's dead. Guys, Omar, Omar. Omar from the Wire looks like Jay Z now. She does look like Jay Z now. That's a goodie. She looks like KRS1. And the lady who started me too. Thought I was alone in the world. I thought I was alone in the world in that one pioneer. But I've seen now memes have popped up. Yeah, they're like KRS1 and that lady look exactly alike. Boy, is it true.
Big J Okerson
It's true.
Jay Oakerson
It's so upsettingly True for her. I desperately have to eat.
Big J Okerson
Okay, let's go. Let's wrap it up.
Jay Oakerson
Bobby Kelly, if you want to see if he survives the woods, he's gonna be governors in long Island. Levittown, June 19th and 20th. That's the following weekend. Then the Comedy mothership. No, it's two weeks away. Then the comedy mothership in Austin, Texas, July 3rd through the 5th. That is going to sell out. So if you want to see Bobby, get your tickets now because they filled that place the fuck up. After that, he's going to be in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, Saratoga Springs and Brooklyn for tickets and all their tour dates go to Punch up that live Robert Kelly. Check out his YouTube channel at Bobby Kelly at Robert Kelly Comedy. And of course, every Tuesday night, Fat Black Pussycat Lounge at the Comedy Cellar. Christine doesn't even move the thing up anymore. She don't give a.
Big J Okerson
She's doing her hair, getting it up. And Spokane Comedy club this weekend, June 5th and 6th. And then the Pan. And then the Pantage theater in Minneapolis, June 12, one night only. Then the Egyptian Theater in Boise, Idaho, June 13. After that, he's going to be in Buffalo, Harrisburg, Pennsylvania and Winnipeg. For tickets and all the tour dates, go to bigjcomedy.com and YouTube.com bigjokerson and make sure you follow our YouTube page and make sure you check it out. Get the DJ Lou shirt over at comic wearables.com and check out go by the end. Right? Go buy the Go Ari Shafir show. The storytelling, showing it, still killing it. Go buy that right now if you haven't bought it. We'll see you guys next week. Well, maybe Jay. I might not be here.
Jay Oakerson
We'll see.
Big J Okerson
Oh, boy.
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In this raucous episode of The Bonfire, Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly dive into their signature blend of raw, irreverent comedy, riffing on viral hip hop, gym culture, protein shakes, bodily functions, and the notorious bathrooms at SiriusXM’s offices. What starts as a debate about rap lyrics quickly spirals into confessions about farting, childhood memories, fitness obsessions, and a lighthearted, candid look at friendship and aging in comedy. Regular sidekicks and studio crew get in on the banter, and the running gag of bodily secrecy weaves its way through the show, ending in classic Bonfire fashion: with affectionate, no-holds-barred trash talk.
Timestamps: 01:04 – 03:28
"I go, alright, well then, if I’m driving a convertible...I'll be listening to Quad C's DJs, The Train, on loop wherever we go. And I mean, I lived true to that. I think I can, I think I can."
— Jay Oakerson (02:06)
Timestamps: 03:28 – 11:13
Timestamps: 12:16 – 15:00
“You gotta go out in the backyard nude…Let's have bikini day!”
— Big J (14:19)
Timestamps: 19:15 – 40:37
Timestamps: 22:13 – 38:43
"Wow dude, you are fumfering with those lines."
— Jay (32:14)
Timestamps: 40:47 – 47:13
"Public bathroom, I’m gonna definitely flush before I even take a peek at what I’ve done. Yeah, it’s gonna be gone."
— Jay (42:33)
Timestamps: 49:06 – 55:16
"If I can see the wrinkles on your asshole from your yoga pants, I should be able to look."
— Big J (53:45)
Timestamps: 55:42 – 59:25
"She looks like Sydney Portier...looks like Sidney Portier."
— Jay (56:33, 56:36)
[Long riff ensues comparing Leslie Jones’ look to various celebrities.]
Timestamps: 59:31 – 60:57
“A Farter and a Liar” showcases The Bonfire at its best: hilarious, unguarded, and consistently teetering on the edge of what’s appropriate. Jay and Bobby riff on music, fitness, aging, and the indignities of corporate life with their trademark chemistry, turning shared embarrassment and honest confession into must-listen radio. In short, if you’re a fan of irreverent comedy and genuine camaraderie, this is essential Bonfire.