The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly
Episode: Airb N Pee with Mike Finoia (August 29, 2025)
Guests: Mike Finoia
Main Theme:
A classic “Bonfire” hangout with Big Jay, Bobby, and guest Mike Finoia riffing on aging R&B stars, the wildness of themed cruises, bodily functions in shared spaces, the awkwardness of hiring help, and disgusting Airbnb surprises—all with their signature mix of savage honesty and gleeful silliness.
Episode Overview
This episode centers around the absurdities and social dynamics of R&B nostalgia cruises—specifically the legendary Tom Joyner Cruise—awkward encounters with cleaners and Airbnbs, generational differences in concert expectations, and the universal trauma of unexpected bodily functions in rentals. Throughout, banter is laced with deadpan observations, musical references, and deeply inappropriate jokes.
Major Discussion Points & Insights
1. Aging R&B Stars and the Tom Joyner Cruise
[01:05–16:00]
- Adina Howard’s Glow Up:
Jay and Bobby debate whether Adina Howard was ever “smoking hot” and compare her to other artists like Lil Kim and Mary J. Blige.Jay: “Little Kim looks like a fucking goblin.” (01:20)
Bobby: “Mary J. Blige is like a little turkey with a fucking cabbie hat on.” (01:24) - Adina as Real Estate Agent:
They joke that Adina now looks more like someone selling condos than a classic sex symbol.Bobby: “I’d rent a condo from her.” (01:44)
- The Tom Joyner Cruise Performer Lineup:
The hosts gleefully read through the cruise’s performer roster, poking fun at acts with just a couple hits. Catty asides about Tyrese, Maze “without Frankie Beverly,” and the ever-present After 7 flood the segment.Jay: “If After Seven played twice on that cruise, I’d be at both shows.” (08:44)
- The Universal R&B Concert Experience:
Jokes about how at their age, they just want to hear the three hits, twice if possible, and go home early.
2. Race Jokes, Cruise Lines, and “Reparations”
[16:03–18:00]
- Jay and Bobby riff on Carnival’s rumored tension with “Black cruises”—eventually spiraling into a satirical discussion of reparations in the form of lifelong free cruises for Black Americans.
Jay: “That would be perfect reparations. Cruises for life for black people. We used boats to get you over here for the wrong reasons—now you get endless [cruises].” (16:30) Bobby: “And now you get to enjoy the boat on the top part while people wait on you.” (16:44)
- They lampoon the cruise’s Eastern European staff as “dick skin white” and totally subservient.
3. Comedian Lifestyle and Cruise Cabin Tiers
[34:02–36:55]
- Deep dive into cruise cabin pricing, with Jay and Bobby adamant: balcony or bust.
Jay: “If you don’t have a balcony, there’s no point.” (34:16)
Bobby: “The inside rooms... it’s a tomb.” (34:55) - Mike laments being forced to shell out “eight grand for two” for a week of Tom Joyner’s R&B.
4. The Tyrese Coca Cola Commercial, Public Singing, and Subway Annoyances
[36:33–43:22]
- The crew riff on Tyrese’s famous Coke commercial, leading to a discussion about how subway musicians are treated differently by race and era.
Jay: “Tyrese had subway bum behavior, and we celebrated it.” (38:21)
Bobby: “The 90s were a different time.” (38:24) - Jacob and others chime in with stories about subway mariachi bands and aggressive breakdancers, complete with stories of almost being kicked in the face.
5. Aggressive Religious Solicitors and the Psychology Behind It
[44:29–46:19]
- Bobby asks if anyone’s actually been "converted" on the street; Jay explains the Jehovah’s Witness approach:
Jay: “It’s not to save them, it’s to save you. You can go, ‘I did everything I could!’” (45:00)
- Kurt Metzger’s background as a witness adds context.
6. Airbnb and Trailer Bathroom Disasters
[54:48–59:55]
- Mike describes entering an Airbnb that reeks of stale urine, discovering “Gatorade orange” pee in the toilet.
Bobby: “That stink hit me in the mouth... When a smell gets in your mouth, you know?” (55:15)
- Jay relives the “Gathering of the Juggalos” trailer story, when a soured bathroom prompted panic over suspected culprits.
Jay: “I’m always such an an asshole scrubber of my own [bathroom], because again, when they say, ‘it smells like shit in here,’ I promise you, it’s not me.” (59:44)
7. The Awkwardness of Hiring Help
[47:34–53:59]
- They discuss hiding from housekeepers or repairmen rather than watch them work; Bobby and Jay both prefer to leave the house.
Jay: “I sat outside for three full hours just to not be near them.” (47:58) Bobby: “Is that that we just don’t think that we deserve people helping us?” (48:32)
- Christine recounts returning home to a house cleaned but “everything just slightly off.” (54:26)
- Hilarious riffing on cleaning expectations, incompetently-made beds, and “slave work.”
8. College Gross-outs and Cleanliness Trauma
[60:51–63:11]
- The pain of swallowing someone’s cigarette butt in beer leads to lifelong cleanliness neuroses.
Mike: “I had one college experience that changed me forever with keeping clean... I took down like two cigarette butts and a mouthful of wet ash…” (60:51)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- Jay on Adina Howard:
“She was like, look, I’m not stunning, but I will suck your dick on the roof of a car in front of all your boys.” (01:46) - Bobby on cruise cabin tiers:
“You’re in a cell on a boat.” (34:57) - Jay on reparations:
“Now you get to enjoy the boat on the top part while people wait on you. Exclusively white staff—real white you could really hate.” (16:41) - Jay on service staff:
“I sat outside for three full hours just to not be near them. I can’t just walk around and be like, hey, do you guys mind if I watch TV while you scrub my fucking floors?” (47:58) - Bobby on Airbnb horror:
“That stink hit me in the fucking mouth. When a smell gets in your mouth, you know?” (55:15) - Jay on being accused of stinking up the tour trailer:
“That is why my concern in life always is when they go, this place smells like shit, it must be Jay.” (59:44)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- Riffing on aging R&B stars and the Tom Joyner Cruise line-up:
01:05 – 16:00 - Race, reparations, and cruise lines:
16:03 – 18:00 - Cruise cabins and comic class divides:
34:02 – 36:55 - Tyrese’s Coca Cola commercial & subway singer etiquette:
36:33 – 43:22 - Religious solicitors’ true motives:
44:29 – 46:19 - Hiring—and hiding from—housekeepers, and cleaning neuroses:
47:34 – 53:59 - Airbnb “used toilet” nightmare:
54:48 – 57:11 - Trailer bathroom drama at Gathering of the Juggalos:
57:12 – 59:55
The Bonfire’s Tone & Vibe
The episode stays rooted in rowdy, unfiltered, often inappropriate but always hilarious conversation. The crew has little concern for decorum, and makes even the grossest stories into comedy gold. The episode is rich with nostalgia, pop culture call-backs, and the sort of “just hanging out” feel that Bonfire fans love.
For Listeners Who Missed It
If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to be a stand-up in today’s world, to feel slightly ashamed hiring people to clean up after you, or to walk in on some stranger’s ancient bathroom deposit in a rental—this episode is pure Bonfire: raucous, real, and riotously funny.