Beaver Fever with Luis J Gomez

Summary

The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode: Beaver Fever with Luis J Gomez
Date: November 13, 2025
Guest: Luis J Gomez

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bonfire delivers its trademark blend of raunchy humor, candid reflections on comedian life, and unfiltered banter. Hosted by Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly, with recurring favorite Luis J Gomez in the studio, the show veers from hilariously graphic personal stories (often at the expense of their own dignity) to playful jabs at pop culture phenomena and inside baseball about the stand-up world. The title "Beaver Fever" nods to a notorious camping misadventure and bodily mishaps that serve as the backbone of this episode—a true festival of scatological storytelling, broken up by riffs about classic hip-hop, the horrors of childbirth, Millie Bobby Brown’s Hollywood drama, and the pain of camping with city-dwellers.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Beastie Boys and Cultural Bias

• [01:04–01:57] Hip-Hop, Race, and Double Standards
  • The hosts debate whether the Beastie Boys' unique style and sometimes nonsensical lyrics would have received the same acclaim if the group were black rather than three Jewish kids from New York.
  • Robert Kelly: “Would we have accepted this level of lyricism from blacks?”
  • Jay: “They're a punk rock band and then they became this.”
  • Robert: “If it was three black dudes, it would have never gotten popular with the level of what they do, what they're saying.”
  • They agree their appeal is more about energy and aesthetic than poetic lyricism.

2. Launch of Luis J Gomez's Special & Body Brain Coffee

• [02:33–02:59] Self-Promos & In-Jokes
  • Luis discusses his new special “You’re Making This Worse” (directed by Robert Kelly), available on YouTube, and there’s a recurring running joke about “BBC” as an acronym for their coffee brand.
  • Playful double entendres abound.
  • Luis: “Hot BBC right in the mouth.”
  • Robert: “I don’t like the taste of coffee, but I love BBC. I look it up more than anything.”

3. Comedy Rivalries & “Headache Excuse”

• [03:01–03:26] The Legion of Skanks Episode Exit Routine
  • Luis teases Jay for ducking out of a hangout with a suspicious “eye headache”— likened to a woman faking a headache to avoid sex.
  • Luis: “Jay just loves long, cylindrical, brown things coming out of butts.”

4. Disgusting Stories: Scatological Escapades & Birth Trauma

• [04:24–07:34] Most Outrageous Bits
  • The crew shares stomach-churning stories of bodily functions during sex, childbirth, and camping accidents.
  • Luis: “Like a Hershey kiss. It popped out of her and landed on my dick and balanced on my dick.”
  • Robert: “You just lay there in your own yuck like a piece of shit.”
  • They riff on the grossness of childbirth as experienced by men in the delivery room.

5. Jacob’s Subway Video: Public Defecation in NYC

• [07:41–10:11] City Life in Raw Form
  • Jacob recounts witnessing and filming a man defecating on the subway platform, admitting he was more unnerved by attractive women passing by unfazed than by the act itself.
  • The group teases him for “judging,” noting everyone has experienced some embarrassing “nature calls.”
  • Big Jay: “Maybe he's homeless…but he could have baby wipes in that big bag…You don't know.”

6. The Comic’s Camping Disasters & Beaver Fever

• [11:03–16:18] Main Story Arc
  • Beaver Fever: Jay gets “beaver fever” (giardiasis) from drinking contaminated stream water on a trip with Ari Shaffir and friends, leading to epic diarrhea on a follow-up camping trip with Luis and their sons.
  • Camping Woes: Leaving food out draws raccoons; Luis’s Wi-Fi hunt interrupts campfire fun; modern tents vs. old-school setups.
  • Jay: “When we came back, there was like 18 raccoons…like, ‘What? You left it.’”
  • Luis: “Camping sounds horrible.”

7. Lessons (Not) Learned from the Woods

• [17:03–19:34] City Boys in the Wild
  • Anecdotes about ill-prepared camping with comedians, leaving food to attract animals, and sleepless nights due to intrusive skunks and raccoons.
  • Robert: “It was like a spaceship that hangs from trees…set up for you to go take baseball bats and kill Bobby in his sleep.”

8. Timeless Bathroom Etiquette

• [26:30–29:12] Shitting Outside: A Rite of Passage?
  • A debate erupts on whether everyone has pooped outside; Jay and Robert are veterans, Luis once, Jacob never.
  • Robert: “It’s my time.”
  • Jay: “Yeah, you gotta dig a hole and then cover it up.”

9. Pop Culture Riffs: Court Zoom Mishaps & Millie Bobby Brown

• [29:23–34:22] Lowbrow News with a Twist
  • They watch a viral video of a cop in virtual court wearing no pants; banter about the “cat filter judge” and black professionals in unusual court settings.
  • The hosts skewer Millie Bobby Brown for complaining that David Harbour was “mean” to her on Stranger Things set.
  • Jay: “Reportedly they crashed on the set…Brown formally complained about Harbour…But that made the season comfortable as shit to shoot.”
  • Robert: “What a shitty accusation…if it’s just like, he’s kind of mean to me, take it up internally. This is so subjective.”

10. 80s Nostalgia, Family, and Sentimental Moments

• [36:44–40:44] Light-Hearted Heartstrings
  • Luis and Robert reminisce about old family photo booth sessions, carnival caricatures, and Luis’s mom—who embraced the “hair metal” scene of the ‘80s.
  • Luis: “My mom was awesome, dude. Smoking, sucking…She had the same personality as fucking ‘The Doors’.”

11. Plugs for Specials & Upcoming Shows

• [41:01–42:59] Hype Train
  • Luis’s special “You’re Making This Worse” hits 100k views; tour dates promoted.
  • Jay plugs Tampa/Sidesplitters and Skank Fest; Robert heads to TD Garden in Boston and Providence, RI.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [01:04] Robert Kelly (on Beastie Boys):
  “Would we have accepted this level of lyricism from blacks? I don’t know.”
• [02:33] Lewis J. Gomez (on his coffee):
  “BBC didn't know that the acronym was... And when I told him, it made him so happy.”
• [05:23] Lewis J. Gomez (on a sexual mishap):
  “Like a Hershey kiss. It popped out of her and landed on my dick and balanced on my dick.”
• [07:01] Lewis J. Gomez (on his ex):
  "She vomited like the Exorcist."
• [13:19] Lewis (on camping with Jay):
  "You left all the food out."
• [15:09] Lewis (on raccoons):
  “You stand off with our family versus their family. It was two big humans and two baby humans.”
• [17:50] Robert Kelly (on Jay’s hammock):
  “It was set up for you to go take baseball bats and kill Bobby in his sleep.”
• [26:46] Jacob (on pissing outside):
  "Oh, yeah. Never shit."
• [33:14] Big Jay Oakerson (on Millie Bobby Brown’s harassment claim):
  “What did he do, though?”
• [40:00] Robert Kelly (on Luis’s mom):
  “Your mom was awesome, dude. Smoking, Sucking.”
• [41:03] Lewis J. Gomez:
  “It’s doing great. 100,000 views as of right now.”

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Important Timestamps & Segments

• 01:04–01:57 — Hip hop, the Beastie Boys, and questions of cultural reception
• 02:33–02:59 — BBC (Body Brain Coffee) and Luis’s new special promo
• 03:01–03:26 — Jay’s “headache” and Legion of Skanks stories
• 04:24–07:34 — Outrageous sex, poop, and birth stories
• 07:41–10:11 — Jacob’s subway scandal video
• 11:03–16:18 — “Beaver fever” and camping with comedians
• 17:03–19:34 — Comedy camp and animal intrusions
• 26:30–29:12 — Shitting outside: initiation or indignity?
• 29:23–34:22 — Pop culture: Zoom court, Stranger Things gossip
• 36:44–40:44 — Boardwalk nostalgia and Luis’s rock ‘n’ roll family
• 41:01–42:59 — Plugs for specials, festivals, and stand-up dates

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Tone and Style

The tone flips between irreverently filthy and playfully confessional, rooted in the hosts’ deep friendship and shared experience on the comedy circuit. Jokes are fast, self-deprecating, often gross, and usually escalate as each participant tries to top the other in both crudeness and wit. Despite the surface-level crassness, there’s a sense of camaraderie and authenticity that makes the chaos oddly comforting and relatable—an episode sure to satisfy fans who want a glimpse into the comic mind at its most unfiltered.

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Summary by Podcast Summarizer AI — for those who love The Bonfire, or just need the scoop without the stink.

Transcript

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Ad Voice]

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[Robert Kelly]

Cut the camera.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They see us. Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty Liberty, Liberty, Liberty Savings vary underwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts.

[Ad Voice]

And now the bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Robert Kelly]

Would we have accepted this level of lyricism from blacks? I don't know. I love.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I love this. You don't like the Beastie Boys?

[Robert Kelly]

I do, but they're. They're their own thing in so many ways. It was never really good lyrics or anything.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They're a punk rock band and then they became this.

[Robert Kelly]

Right. Which means, where's their heart in it, really?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. I don't know. I kind of like that there's a little.

[Lewis]

Little.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Little drums and punk and little. Sure, I don't mind it.

[Robert Kelly]

No, no. I like the Beastie Boys a lot. I'm just saying. Weird, though. Like, I think if it was like three black dudes, it would have never gotten popular with the level of what they do, what they're saying.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why you think the. The lyrics aren't popping?

[Robert Kelly]

I like them, but it's just nonsense. This is their whole inflection thing. Do they have a huge black following? Beast post?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't think they did, no. But they're three Jewish kids. You know what I mean?

[Robert Kelly]

Yes, I do know what you mean, Bobby. Your brain's functioning and firing on all cylinders because you're all Body Brain coffee up to the eyeballs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And we have the. The founder of Body Brain.

[Lewis]

Founder, CEO. I'm not only the president, I'm also a client.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm drinking it right now. And me and Lou, every day when we do a live show, DJ Lou gives me my hot Body Brain coffee. And it delights in your mouth.

[Lewis]

Hot BBC right in the mouth.

[Robert Kelly]

Hell yeah.

[Lewis]

BBC didn't know that the acronym was. Or the. The initials were BBC. And when I told him, it made him so happy.

[Robert Kelly]

Did make me very happy. I don't like the taste of coffee, but I love BBC. I look it up more than anything. Lewis has a new sp. You're making it worse. Available right now on [e-mail] louisj. Gomez. Or just look up Louis. And of course you're making this worse, dude. Such a good special.

[Lewis]

Thank you.

[Robert Kelly]

Directed by Bobby Kelly.

[Lewis]

The great Bobby Kelly.

[Robert Kelly]

The great Bobby Kelly.

[Lewis]

We have a theory that JJ had to leave Legionist Gangs Friday night Hang earlier today or Zoom show, because he had a headache. Like a chick who was trying to get out of fucking.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I don't want to sex with you anymore.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's weird that you had an eye headache today. And Monday I had an. I had a fucking extremely bad eye headache too. I had to go to bed. I went to bed at 10:30. I was like. I felt like somebody was plucking nerves behind my eye.

[Lewis]

We have this theory, though, because we were like. Because Jay had to leave. So, like, we should do things that Jay would not normally want to do himself. So let's, like, pull up some black cocks. Let's pull up some chick shitting. And we realized that Jay just loves long, cylindrical, brown things coming out of butts.

[Robert Kelly]

It's true. I told you. Farah Abraham's got a new video. Shit's on a phone.

[Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Crazy Jacob, you have a video you've been wanting to show us this week. We haven't gotten to you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wait.

[Robert Kelly]

Wait a minute.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

[Robert Kelly]

What? This is still the same subject.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Do we. Do we. Did we see the video? We didn't see it yet. Right?

[Robert Kelly]

Nobody likes. No, nobody wants to see. It's fine.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'll check it out. No, I want to see it.

[Robert Kelly]

No, no.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I want to see come out of an ass.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't want anyone to watch it for you. I don't need.

[Lewis]

Let me ask you a question, because we don't have to watch it, but is it as good as the first one that we saw?

[Robert Kelly]

No, it's. It's funny because she's doing. You know, she does, like, character stuff. She's, like, talking shit to somebody who bought this.

[Lewis]

Oh, it's like if Soda was selling shit videos. Yeah, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The shit's coming out of my ass on my phone right now.

[Robert Kelly]

So what she does is like. No, she's like, shits, and then picks her phone up and just starts bitching about like, oh, my God, I Guess I shit on my phone now whenever I come. Great. Oh, this is just great. I guess I shit every time I come now. Whatever. Some girls do that shit whenever they come.

[Lewis]

Not every time, but I've had that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You had a girl shit.

[Robert Kelly]

I think she was just trying to shit on you, looking for an excuse. Oh, I guess you fucked the shit out of me. I gotta go.

[Lewis]

No, dude, she definitely came with her. Yeah, she just. She faked it and she just shit.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh God, I'm coming so hard. Wow, what a big load.

[Lewis]

I guess you never wanna fuck me again, huh?

[Robert Kelly]

I think she's weird. I think I liked her.

[Ad Voice]

Did you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Did you fuck again after they.

[Lewis]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, God.

[Lewis]

It. It pooped out of her. It. It literally. Dude, I should you not. It popped out of her like I liked it.

[Robert Kelly]

Still in special mode. It's still.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's still in set up punch T.

[Lewis]

Like a Hershey kiss. It. It popped out of her and landed on my dick and balanced on my dick.

[Ad Voice]

Wow.

[Robert Kelly]

And then it balance or did it stick?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You should have pulled your dick down and shot it in her eye.

[Robert Kelly]

A little bit of both, right?

[Lewis]

A little bit of both, yeah. And then it rolled onto the bed and then it was like all. I was like, I guess I was gonna make this her problem later on in life. And then I was like, I feel bad. So I was like, hey, there's a little piece of shit in your bed right now.

[Robert Kelly]

She's like, where is it? He goes, it rolled off of the table and onto the floor. And your little turd ball rolled into the pantry.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was fucking dumped on when she gave birth to Max.

[Robert Kelly]

Cause, yeah, you should have walked away.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was out of the hospital. Like, I'm done with this. I can't deal with that.

[Robert Kelly]

You her so she'd have a baby, not poop in front of you.

[Lewis]

Why she have to eat? Why you have to eat first?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Didn't she know she was going to have a baby soon?

[Lewis]

Ladies, it's time to do a little bit of intermittent fasting before you go into labor.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Cuz you're using the same muscles to push the kid out that you're pushing the out.

[Lewis]

You don't use your muscles to wash the kid out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Does the dude max him out of her?

[Lewis]

Max was born. Max was born of fart they.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. No, Carla, she didn't shit. Thank God. But a bunch of other things happened. I was definitely like, ew. I put some of that back.

[Lewis]

She vomited like the Exorcist.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. I was like, put some of that back. Ew. Ew. Too much stuff.

[Lewis]

Placentas.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Lewis]

Red stuff.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's disgusting.

[Robert Kelly]

So much mocking.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And the stuff on the baby's gross.

[Robert Kelly]

The white. I know. They get it off.

[Lewis]

Ladies, get it together. Girls, what are you doing?

[Robert Kelly]

You just lay there in your own yuck like a piece of shit.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When the baby comes out too, you're like, oh, my God, it's beautiful. But you're really going like, this is the grossest I've ever held in my hands.

[Robert Kelly]

This conversation just reminded me, chicks ain't. Moms suck.

[Lewis]

Why do we give them so much credit when all they do is create a big, nasty mess.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. All you've done is queef me out of your disgusting.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, then I'll get to use it anymore either.

[Lewis]

It's never the same.

[Robert Kelly]

Jacob, talk to me about the subway experience, because it is not far off subject, what we're talking about.

[Jacob]

No, this was in the story. This is coming to work. TJ's on Monday.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Storytelling mode.

[Robert Kelly]

Please set us up.

[Jacob]

I'm not the storyteller. He's a storyteller now.

[Lewis]

Teller.

[Jacob]

There you go.

[Lewis]

Folks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We have another special in the.

[Lewis]

Can just from today. Just from today's episode.

[Jacob]

Well, yeah. So I was coming from Astoria, and this was the guy directly across on the other platform. Now I'm so terrified here. Like, I'm filming it. I don't know why everyone's a cross.

[Lewis]

Train track superhero to get to you.

[Jacob]

This is the problem, Louis. I'm saying to myself, if you're doing this, you have the superpower to. If you see me and you're aggravated that I'm filming you, to run under the track and. And assault me with.

[Lewis]

What is he doing? I don't see it.

[Jacob]

Well, let's find out.

[Robert Kelly]

Outside train.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's so scared. You're zooming in.

[Lewis]

Is he sucking his own dick?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Robert Kelly]

He could, though.

[Jacob]

From there you might have to scroll a little because I kept putting the camera down like I don't want this loon to.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're hiding behind a pole, you pussy.

[Jacob]

Well, you can zoom in. Fast forward almost till about 20 seconds to the end. Christine. There you go.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, you got the dookie. And it's white.

[Robert Kelly]

No, it's really light brown.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, that's like bad kidneys.

[Lewis]

Oh, it's a black guy, too.

[Robert Kelly]

He did look up at you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, maybe it's not. Maybe it's not white. Maybe it's just not as dark as him. But never.

[Robert Kelly]

I've never been able to multitask thumbing Through a trash.

[Lewis]

That guy has a black dick and he's shitting. Jay is in heaven.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow. This is. This is incredible.

[Robert Kelly]

BBC Scat. All the hits, all the biggies.

[Lewis]

One video. What is it, his birthday?

[Robert Kelly]

Oh my God. One black no cup.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Maybe he's looking for toilet paper.

[Jacob]

The weird thing is like two attract. Well, two. Two attractive women just walked right past him like nothing was happening.

[Robert Kelly]

You feel bad for him. He's a victim.

[Lewis]

That's why Jacob was. He was videotaping the hot women and then he noticed them in the background.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh my. I was just pervin on these chicks. And then. Oh my.

[Ad Voice]

Wow.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow, he's got a haircut. You gotta appreciate that.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Where is it?

[Robert Kelly]

He's wearing a backpack. He's clearly collecting some plastic recycling.

[Lewis]

The guy that got some money in.

[Robert Kelly]

His future cares about you don't know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He didn't pick it up like a dog after and throw it in the trash can.

[Robert Kelly]

Did you see if he stuck around and picked it up? Yeah.

[Jacob]

No. The train came, right?

[Lewis]

Yeah. Why are you judging dude if you don't even know if you picked it up?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Maybe he's homeless. He could have picked it up. He could have baby wipes in that big bag of. Bag of cans. You don't know that.

[Robert Kelly]

You have no idea if he has baby wipes or not. You just judge this guy for the initial. You saw him take a outside. Everybody here has had to take a outside. We've all done it.

[Lewis]

We've all done it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Actually. I've shit in front of him.

[Lewis]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And when I shit my pants camping.

[Lewis]

No, you don't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You don't remember when I.

[Robert Kelly]

You don't remember this?

[Lewis]

No.

[Robert Kelly]

You remember when I. I don't remember. I don't know this at all, but I feel like you would remember.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Me and Lewis went camping with the boys up. And when we went.

[Lewis]

Not our sons. They were two boys. We found.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, we found two hot boys in fucking the Adirondacks.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Your kids aren't in the shit play. I know. I tried. I tried that one time I watched Max and James. I tried to get him in a little ship play. They were just. They're really not receptive to it at all.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I had. I had beaver fever from the week. It's.

[Robert Kelly]

That's something Christopher Walken calls being horny. I got beaver fever, baby.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We went. I went up with Ari and. Ari and Joe or Virgie. I went up and.

[Robert Kelly]

Bites you. You get something if Ari bites you? Without a doubt.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And I. I dip my water filter into the river to get water. But it must have been some of the water on the top of it. And I drank it. So I got beaver fever. Beaver fever. And I thought it went away.

[Lewis]

Bobby's just two big buck teeth.

[Robert Kelly]

Happening.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm just chewing on a tree.

[Lewis]

I gotta fill the. I gotta find a dam.

[Robert Kelly]

Bobby was bit by a werebeaver.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I just kept slapping my ass on water.

[Lewis]

Dude, I got beaver fever.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. He goes. And then fucking Max starts talking to a beaver. And then he opens the door and you go, I think we have to talk, son. I think we have a dam to build.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So I'm going camping the next week with Lewis and the boys. And we had a great week, except we had. We had. We had steaks, we cooked. It was awesome. And then Lewis had to go upload a podcast.

[Lewis]

We had a little piece of wood that we chewed on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So we had to go find, like, a Dunkin Donuts with WI fi and sit there for two hours while he uploaded a whole podcast.

[Lewis]

It ruined the whole last podcast. We had to find WI Fi in the woods.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was. He said, dude, I gotta find it now. So we had to drive around until.

[Lewis]

We found free WI fi from the Blair Witch House. I was like, dude, come on. This is it.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, I don't know. This place has a little handprints on the wall. That means there's kids here. Kids know technology. Technology means WI Fi.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But we. We cook this amazing meal. Steaks. And, and, and, and, like, corn, all this stuff. And we had. He was like, dude, I gotta do it now. It has to be done now. So we just left. And we left all the steaks wrapped in tinfoil, all the food on the picnic table. And then when we came back, there was like 18 raccoons just. And they just looked at us like, what? You left it.

[Lewis]

I understand.

[Robert Kelly]

You left all the food out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We've. We just. I. I just slipped my mind because he was. He was panicking me. He's like, dude, I gotta upload this now.

[Lewis]

I'm not.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's not gonna make.

[Lewis]

Master Woodsman just left steaks on a table in the woods. I've done this once in my life when I was 17 years old. Bobby just left all this.

[Robert Kelly]

A crazy move to leave those things. Go do something.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I tell you.

[Robert Kelly]

You apparently should have not taken Lewis.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He had to get WI Fi. He had to get this epic. You try fucking do it.

[Lewis]

Miss the gas digital premiere, buddy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He was like, we have to do it. Has to be out in the hour. We have to. He Was just panicking because it had to be out at a certain time, and we're in the middle of the fucking woods. And I'm like, I don't know what to tell you, dude. And he's like, we can go find it. And we found it. He fucking. This fucking maniac found WI fi. And then we just sat in a car with the boys for two hours while it uploaded.

[Lewis]

And it was a very unique experience. Camping sounds horrible.

[Robert Kelly]

It sounds like Louis ruined camping for a few hours. And then.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So we come back and the meal, literally, great series.

[Lewis]

We should do Louis Root. And then whatever it is.

[Robert Kelly]

I think Adam ruined. That was the show. Adam ruins everything. Yeah, but it doesn't matter. It's every episode. But you can ruin it. Yeah, but he's ruining it differently. He's going in there with, like, facts. It's just. You show up and just ruin it with your personality. Yeah, here's me. You're like, dude, this is a fucking. This is a. This is a silent retreat. What? All day. You're ruining the silent retreat. That's the game. And you go, you're ruinous retreat. When they say it, you finally turn, the camera goes, you're ruining the silent retreat. And you go, ting. So this ruins everything.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We come back.

[Robert Kelly]

We literally.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We're all. I mean, it was probably like two big raccoons and like 15 baby raccoons just staring at wherever.

[Lewis]

You stand off with our family versus their family. It was two big humans and two baby humans.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then they took the steak, right? They just. They were like, you. And just grabbed the steak and took it with them. And then. And then that.

[Jacob]

We.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We camped out. Whatever.

[Robert Kelly]

We.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We had a good night.

[Robert Kelly]

And a realized podcast went up, too. So everything was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It went up, right? We wound up having it. We watched a movie outside.

[Lewis]

Yeah, dude. And then camping things.

[Robert Kelly]

And then the next day, outdoor movie, podcasting.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It kind of bugged me. It kind of bugged me, too, because.

[Lewis]

We built the generator.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I told Lewis, I go, you got to get your own tent. I have my tent. You got to get your tent. And he went out and just bought this sick tent. He just, like, push a button, it pops up. And I'm sitting there just putting. Pol going, sucker, motherfucker. He's like, dude, check this out. Funk. It just popped up. And you can stand in it. I was like, off. Me and Max are just crawling into my tent.

[Lewis]

It has heat lamps. Sorry. I'm doing an impression of myself. Look how much space I have.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, my God.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And he kept letting Me know, dude, this is really good tent, right? I'm like, yeah, it's a good tent.

[Lewis]

Whatever. I wanted you to be proud of me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was very proud of you.

[Lewis]

Christine.

[Robert Kelly]

You don't have to leave the pause screen. It's just the turd falling out of the ground. Are you trying to really grind that into Jacob, make him upset?

[Lewis]

So that Jay's never been camping? I don't think. No, he went.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We did comedy camp, but I had to get him.

[Lewis]

That's not real camping. That's.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I actually got. Yeah, I got him.

[Lewis]

Have you been in a tent, James?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, he would never go.

[Robert Kelly]

Don't call me James.

[Lewis]

James. That's your nickname.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We call you Jim's behind your back. Big gyms.

[Robert Kelly]

No. Now, when I was, like, a kid, like, outside, my friend, his family would go. They had a camper set up, like a. Like, trailer park for we're not camping park. Like, I guess on the weekends, they would go out there and, like, I stayed in a tent one night out there with him, my buddy. But, like, that was it. Never as an adult or a teenager ever.

[Lewis]

Yeah. You were trying to hide something from that night.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Lewis]

You just really glazed over that night. What happened?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You spit in your palm and stick it.

[Robert Kelly]

Slept in a tent. I thought you just asked me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You didn't do anything else. Is that what you got into?

[Robert Kelly]

You. What do you think? What is. Did my mouth start watering? Did I start getting mustache sweat from thinking about him growing inside of me? Inside of my mouth?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We did comedy camp was fun. That was.

[Lewis]

We had the. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

But everything, like. And Bobby's good at this, too. He's very good at, like. Oh, man. It's fun. This is. It's awesome. And then every step of the way, though. Exactly. It's that. It's like, oh, fucking wolves came and took all of our food. And then Bobby would be, like, in the middle of the night. A skunk wouldn't let me alone. I had to be awake all night because a skunk was attacking me.

[Lewis]

Was it all set up, like.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no, no, no, no. We. We went. We did comedy camp. It was. I mean, it was everybody. A bunch of people went up. Not me, but I took.

[Lewis]

We was everybody except your actual close friends. It was dumb. Dumb. Leslie Jones. Bobby Lee Jones.

[Robert Kelly]

I would have Leslie Jones and Lenny Marcus together.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're talking about the show comedy. Yeah, no, I'm talking about we a group just on a weekend. Oh, yeah.

[Lewis]

You also did invite me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I did invite you to that. You said you couldn't Go absolutely dirty life 100%. I invited you. 100 I invited him. But that night I up too because.

[Robert Kelly]

I remember you inviting Lewis.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I did. Don't squint your eyes. To make it more serious, I I cook breakfast for everybody. Bacon and eggs. And he's like.

[Lewis]

So then we said, you know, before we eat this, let's go take a hike. We took a three mile hike.

[Robert Kelly]

Let's leave this out here and go take showers. Inside I actually squirrels were e eating it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I took the bacon grease and I put it into a coke can or a beer can and drink it. And then I just keeps away fruit flies. I just left it. I forgot to throw it out. I'm supposed to take it from shotgun. Did I forgot to throw it out. I just, I put it over to the side by a tree and then forgot about it. So later that night I was in a hammock and I'm swinging between these two trees and I felt something go under my tent.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, well, it's not a 10. It's like a, It's a hammock.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, hammock.

[Robert Kelly]

But it's an enclosed like vampire's hammock.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

It was like a spaceship that hangs from a trees. Honest to God. What it's set up for is for you to go take baseball bats and kill Bobby in his sleep while he's in a tomb. I was just hanging from two trees in the perfect middle thing. You just wail on this thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was hanging like a prosciutto in between two trees.

[Lewis]

Go back to it. Hold on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I would have said it's called the armonk. Armonk. Armon. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. You know, I've been thinking about this. My cousin, cousin, my distant cousin who I grew up with and I loved for a long time, sent me a birthday present and I never called him back. And it's weighing on me. I'm going to reach out, I'm going to call him, I'm going to talk to him. Just say hi. Thanks. But you know what? The longer you wait, the more difficult it gets. And it just takes a little courage to make that call just to say hi, someone you haven't seen in a while. Reaching out for therapy can feel difficult too. It's very similar to that. But it can be worth it. It can leave people wondering, why didn't I do this sooner? Why haven't I taken my mental health a little more serious? Because it seems daunting. But it's not. With over 30,000 therapists BetterHelp is one of the world's largest online therapy platforms. BetterHelp therapists are fully licensed in the U.S. betterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals this month. Month don't wait. Reach out Whether you're checking in on a friend or reaching out to a therapist yourself, BetterHelp can make it easier to take that first step. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com bonfire that's better h e l p.com bonfire this is an.

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[Robert Kelly]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

Mornings holiday Plans this is when you just want your wardrobe to be simple. Stuff that looks sharp, feels good, and things you actually wear. That's where Qu comes in. And the bonus quince pieces make great gifts too. This season's lineup is simple but smart. Easy with quince. $50 Mongolian cashmere that's it. Mongolian. That's the one. I got $50 Mongolian cashmere sweaters that feels like an everyday luxury, and wool coats that are equal parts stylish and durable. I never understood. I have sweaters. I have a bunch of sweaters. I went to Quint's What a difference. It's so inexpensive. Such good quality. And when you put that on, oh, my, I can't wait for Christmas. My mom's gonna be mad because I'm not wearing her crappy sweater. Give and get. Timeless holiday staples that last this season with quince. Go to quince.combonfire for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q U I n c e.com bonfire free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com bonfire but anyways, I the thing went onto my tent and everybody was asleep, but I heard Ari just go into his tent. So I called him on my phone and I go, dude, something's under my tent. And he's like, what? I'm like, come on. Something just went under my tent. So he came out and he goes, holy shit. I was like, what is it? He goes, it's the biggest skunk I've ever seen. And it's just going back and forth under my tent. And I go, what's it doing? I. And he goes, I don't know. It's got its face in something. I go, what? He goes, like a beer can or something. I go, oh. He goes, what? I go, I forgot to throw out the bacon grease. The skunk smelled. The baker's just chowing on the bakeries under my tent like 50 minutes.

[Robert Kelly]

We left some kind of food out when we went to that trip also and came back and the raccoons were all on the table.

[Lewis]

The one. The one rule I know, don't leave food out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's hard. But we went when we went, we were packed.

[Lewis]

Dude, I have so much food.

[Robert Kelly]

That's a fast move on. He goes, there it is right there. It's hard. Yeah, that's what it's hard to not leave food out. Yeah, there it is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There it is. I was just swinging like meat.

[Lewis]

So this is to sleep in. This is a sleeping.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You sleep in it. You lie flat. It has a sleeping mattress and it actually has a net that goes around the whole thing so nothing can get in on.

[Lewis]

I get this from my house. This is nice.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Robert Kelly]

What, what, What?

[Lewis]

Instead of a bed, Instead of a.

[Robert Kelly]

Bed in your room, just a hammock.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They made a two person one. That's funny.

[Robert Kelly]

There it is. Oh, that's right, dude. There's a little dangler in your room. Somebody go dangle in my room.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So the next night, the next day we're packing up and I'm doing all my Packing. He just pushes a button and his tent folds up and I'm loading everything into the truck. He was on the phone making, you know, doing business. Exactly.

[Lewis]

Making business. Planting seeds.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right. And then it hit me again. It hit me like a ton of bricks. And I just. I ran into the woods and just found a tree. And then all of a sudden I see Lewis laughing his ass.

[Robert Kelly]

You mean you found the tree? Like the perfect tree? Because there's trees everywhere, right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I just found a tree away from the boys. I didn't want my son and his friend to see me shitting my pants.

[Lewis]

Sure.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So I just ran as far as I could into the tree. And then I just see Lewis, dude, what's up, dude? And then he just starts laughing and his phone is up and he's just going. He's shitting your pants, man. He's just filming me. And I'm going, dude, you. I'm just going, erase that, man. I'll. I swear to God, I'll kill you. Erase it now.

[Robert Kelly]

And he's like, dude, you were shitting your pants.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, I was shitting you.

[Robert Kelly]

Did you pull your pants? Okay, I was gonna say, because if you were shitting your pants while I was hurting. He's just yelling. You're just yelling and shitting your pants. Pretty hilarious.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was just into the grass and it was just coming out and he's just filming me. I was so angry.

[Lewis]

This is that. We've all been there. So why are you such a.

[Robert Kelly]

Judgmental about this?

[Lewis]

Is that the best way? Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why are you such a. Jacob?

[Robert Kelly]

Maybe. Maybe has never.

[Lewis]

Never outside, right, Jacob, You've had to outside everyone else.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You've never your pants.

[Lewis]

Have you pissed outside?

[Jacob]

Oh, yeah. Never shit.

[Lewis]

So one this guy shits outside one time, that's that. But you pissing left and right outside, that's white privilege.

[Robert Kelly]

Never shit outside, ever. Even as a child. Nothing ever. I mean, mine, I think mine's pretty much as a child.

[Lewis]

Mine only was, I think, one time. So I could have avoided that as a kid. It was one time. As an adult or as a kid.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm shit outside a lot.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah?

[Robert Kelly]

What's a lot?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, every time I go that primitive camp and there's no toilets up there, you gotta dig a hole.

[Lewis]

One year he had to do a long walk to represent a state.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, that is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wow.

[Lewis]

It's the long walk.

[Robert Kelly]

Lewis just saw the long walk.

[Lewis]

I could only reference things that I've.

[Robert Kelly]

Seen in the past when Lewis watches it. It's the whole thing for a Week.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He said you could only reference things you've seen.

[Robert Kelly]

Then you forget, then. You always forget.

[Lewis]

It's gone.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, dude.

[Lewis]

It's just.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah. You gotta. You gotta dig a hole and. And it. And then cover it up.

[Jacob]

Up.

[Robert Kelly]

You stay home.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, you could, but you don't experience the woods outside.

[Lewis]

The woods suck, though.

[Robert Kelly]

Suck.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I took Paul Versi up to do it one time and I know, but.

[Robert Kelly]

I. I take his gold chain.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He did. Where he wore. He wore camo Nikes.

[Robert Kelly]

Nike.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like a. I like that. And I. I gave him his bag with toilet paper, baby wipes and a trowel. And he's.

[Robert Kelly]

That same thing you gave prostitutes in Brazil when you're done.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I gave them. I gave them wife beaters, deodorant and a shit bucket.

[Robert Kelly]

Bucket, though.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And then he's like, dude. I go. He's like, what's that for? I go, well, we have to. Up there. There's no toilets. So he was panicking the whole time. And as we're driving up, he goes, I have an idea. I go, what's that? He goes, we go to Dunkin Donuts. We get two egg sandwiches each, a large iced coffee. We drink it and eat as fast as we can. And we. At the Dunkin Donuts and then we won't have to up there. And I was like, all right, we'll try it. And we went. We did it. We both had a. At the same time. We both had dug a donuts and didn't have to up in the woods.

[Robert Kelly]

It worked at the same time. You had to shit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, he. Then I was gonna say, that's weird.

[Robert Kelly]

Just talk through the stalls.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You never did the fifth function and talk to your pal while you're taking.

[Robert Kelly]

A. I don't answer my phone when I'm. Or anything.

[Lewis]

I'll call him, then he'll. He'll dead the call. And before even the text even comes through, I was like, oh, he's shitting. And then I get a text.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I talk to people.

[Lewis]

I'm all. I talk to people while I'm shitting. Why. Why are you so against talking to people while you're shitting?

[Jacob]

I don't know.

[Robert Kelly]

It's my time.

[Lewis]

It's just. It's a turd. That's a sacred time for him when he has his own turd to observe.

[Robert Kelly]

He goes down there. It's my time. Like the Goonies.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I've been on a zoom call.

[Robert Kelly]

I was, no, you haven't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I just put the phone up to the Ceiling.

[Lewis]

You see the black cop who was in a zoom meeting in court?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah. I saw.

[Lewis]

He didn't have pants on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, the whole. Whole outfit from the top up, the camera was. It looked like Poncherello from. From the waist up, and then he had no pants on. Talking to a judge, the judge was.

[Lewis]

Like, are you not wearing pants?

[Jacob]

Excuse me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, watch this.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, it's police officer uniform.

[Lewis]

It's almost like an alternative universe where black people have taken over because the black judge and a black cop, he's.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Raising his right hand with no pants on.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, that's hilarious.

[Lewis]

There. Now you got to rewind it. You got. You got to hear it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, yeah, he forgot he had to.

[Lewis]

R.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Too bad you can't see.

[Robert Kelly]

No, sir.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You can't have. You have to have pants in virtual court. Is that a thing?

[Robert Kelly]

It turns out. I don't think you have to at all. The virtual court things, I mean, that made. So the cat is still my favorite thing. Maybe that ever happens.

[Lewis]

The judge had the same personality as Steve Harvey. It's so funny what you say now.

[Robert Kelly]

Come on now with it. Y' all nuts.

[Lewis]

He not wearing no pants. No, officer.

[Robert Kelly]

Boy. What? Boy what?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I love that you just said no, sir.

[Lewis]

The judge's response is so.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, hell, no. Yeah, the judge is not being very judgy. He's like, boy crazy. Ain't got no pants on. Well, you know, he talking about the telephone.

[Lewis]

Now, player. Officer.

[Robert Kelly]

I want to say. I know it's our last day of the week. What had the lady Stranger Things get ready to come out. And the girl saying that the guy who plays her adoptive father is mean to her in real life. Millie Bobby Brown, though, seems like she sucks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Like any kind of interview I've seen with her, she seems really.

[Lewis]

She got hot, right?

[Jacob]

Yeah, I think she got. She looks like she's 40.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Lewis]

You're a pervert who takes videos of people taking shits.

[Robert Kelly]

Don't let him talk to you like that, Jacob.

[Jacob]

You're a good person.

[Robert Kelly]

You're fine.

[Jacob]

I have an opinion.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's only 21, but she does look like she's 21.

[Robert Kelly]

She looks old as. Yeah, because she really is a. She's British.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Lewis]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Which age? Like, dog years.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

And she really is just like. But I want to hear what says about one of our national treasures, David harbor, the guy who made fat people feel like there's a chance for us. He got in shape and everything. She's reportedly they crashed on the set of Danger Clash instead of Stranger Things. According to the Daily Mail, Brown formally complained about harbor before the co stars reunited for to film the fifth and final season of Stranger Things. Really? She filed a harassment and bullying claim before they shooted the season, but that made the season comfortable as shit to suit. Now I need you to come in here, David. Remember, you're so excited to see Eleven. You love her so much, you thought you were never gonna see her again. You guys are having a major reunion. He's like, all right, are you ready? Because I'm ready. Let me guess. Do you have to go to the bathroom and get your makeup touched up? Again this dumb action. 11.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What did he do, though?

[Lewis]

Harassment and bullying makes her uncomfortable. Large umbrella. Yeah, it says.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's pages and pages of accusation, but I haven't found anything other than, oh.

[Lewis]

My God, this rambles on and on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But it's in the news.

[Jacob]

No, nothing sexual. So he's just.

[Robert Kelly]

Boo.

[Lewis]

He's just being mean to her is the thing.

[Robert Kelly]

One of the. One of the story lines, and that was. She was, like, shutting him out. She wouldn't talk to him, and he was always like, come on, 11. Why won't you talk to me and see how cut. And he goes, I don't want to talk to you anyway, you cow. You stupid British cow.

[Lewis]

You have old face.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Lewis]

Everyone thinks you have old face.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, Everyone knows you're probably gonna get fat. Oh, Harbor. David, bro, what a shitty accusation to make. Again, if it's just like, he's kind of mean to me, take it up internally. This is fucking. It's so subjective.

[Lewis]

I defend anyone's right to be mean to their employees.

[Robert Kelly]

Right, Paco? I know you do. He says he right, Paco.

[Lewis]

I punch them in the face.

[Robert Kelly]

You do, but with gloves on, which they do appreciate sometimes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not. He hit you in the face without gloves.

[Lewis]

He.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Especially in his early boxing career. God, this is real. He would shadow box, but then sometimes forget that it's shadow boxing and then actually connect.

[Lewis]

My shadow.

[Robert Kelly]

My shadow. It's Chinese.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And he's also wearing, like, a Rolex sometimes, and he'll forget that.

[Robert Kelly]

Who is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who is me, Lewis. And then he'll hit you and be like, oh, my bad.

[Robert Kelly]

He's wearing a. What do you tell him that? Do you tell Paco that? It's a Rolex.

[Lewis]

Paco, relax.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's not a relax.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, you say, paco, relax. Oh, I got it. Oh, that's it. I got it.

[Lewis]

Paco, don't listen then. My Lamborghini is downstairs. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

You know that video I'M also surprised he doesn't call it a lore, actually.

[Lewis]

No. No, it's not a Rolex podcast.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I liked it, Jay. I liked it. I didn't think it was bad. I like it. I know. I saw the movie. It was a good movie.

[Robert Kelly]

No, nothing to do with the Lorax.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's not the one where they took all the trees.

[Robert Kelly]

I was making the L, the R, and the R the L because Paco's Chinese. Asian. Hey, I have a real bad headache. I have to sign off this show, if you guys don't mind. I'm gonna do that a little bit early if you guys are cool with that. Yeah, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Remember that video I posted of me getting the. The car? Did you see that?

[Robert Kelly]

To McLaren. And everyone was all stoked for you people.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

People are still congratulating me.

[Robert Kelly]

Still?

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like, I. They think I really bought a $250,000 McLaren.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, no, they think dawn bought it for you. Yes, that's what you said.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, that my wife would buy me.

[Lewis]

Were you making fun of Bert?

[Robert Kelly]

Did he get a McLaren?

[Lewis]

No, but that's something that he would post is like, oh, yeah, my wife bought me a McLaren with my money.

[Robert Kelly]

I gotta say, I do not understand. He got fucking heat for posting jokey AI pictures of Leanne. Oh, that was AI, like in bathing suit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Did you not know that? Maybe that's the thing that people don't realize.

[Lewis]

No, I thought he literally.

[Robert Kelly]

No, you knew that was AI.

[Lewis]

I swear. In my size.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Can I say something? I swear to God, I thought she just looked good. I thought she did something.

[Robert Kelly]

She. My wife just sent me these pictures, and it's her posing scantily. Really? Anything?

[Lewis]

It was like, professionally shot photos. Yeah, and a promo.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I thought it was. I didn't know.

[Lewis]

Dude, you might be wrong, Jay.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm totally right.

[Lewis]

How do you know?

[Robert Kelly]

I commented on it. I said I was a photographer.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, yeah. We were stupid.

[Lewis]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That doesn't mean that he's not. That's 100. Not Leah. That's not Leah. I'm dumb. Hey, Jay, look, I thought. Look at me, Jay. Jay. I'm a. Idiot.

[Ad Voice]

It.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm sorry. What?

[Lewis]

The.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The stomachs are different in every photo.

[Robert Kelly]

She looks fantastic. Yeah. People got mad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That last one's her, though.

[Lewis]

Why they get mad?

[Robert Kelly]

I just. Like it's inappropriate. Like, it's up. Like you're posting out of your way. And then some people complain. That seems like you're saying her body's not good as this. You're doing this AI thing.

[Lewis]

Also, I mean it just seems. Never mind. Just. Are you 100% it's not her real body? Yes, a thousand percent.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Look at the stomachs. They're different body.

[Lewis]

It should be better if it's AI.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Go to the next one.

[Lewis]

I was like, oh, good for Leanne. She looks good for whatever she is. Like a 70 year old woman or whatever. I was like. But because that's AI, that's just not that impressive.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, I think the joke was to make it not too like corny. Ish, like fake.

[Lewis]

Yeah, I had one of those when I was a kid, like at the carnival, like down the shore. They put your head in like a jacked body and I had it on my own wall still. Look at myself with a hot abs.

[Robert Kelly]

You can see yourself jacked. Yeah, like with squeezing a big big nipple of like on yourself too. It's like never that cool.

[Lewis]

And I never had like the. The old timey photos with the family. We never had the money to like, you know, you go into a booth, it was only like 20 bucks or whatever, but you like put on like old timey clothes and then they take a picture and they put it in.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like a wood ornate frame.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I've never had that ever.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I got it done with Don Fun.

[Robert Kelly]

I've never had two years ago. Never have a silly, silly novelty boardwalk pictures ever.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I did it once.

[Robert Kelly]

It's on photo booth.

[Lewis]

Oh, you never did like the caricature where they drew your face all big and fun.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It sucked because I couldn't be a like a gunslinger. I had to be a bartender because I was so fat.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh yeah.

[Lewis]

Gave you a little tiny bow tie.

[Robert Kelly]

And the thing on your arm and your thing on your band. On your arm.

[Lewis]

On your arm.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I own the bar. See?

[Lewis]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This dude, it's not space Dairy Farm. They do it.

[Lewis]

I never, I've never done it. I would love it. We should get these photos done, boys.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What professionally done photos?

[Lewis]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Could we all be samurais like Steinberg?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, I like that.

[Robert Kelly]

I want to be a Jason Steinberg story.

[Lewis]

I want to say, oh my God, he escaped.

[Robert Kelly]

Is that not black Lou?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That was not correct. Damn for the time.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, we will look. I wouldn't do this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I did it.

[Lewis]

Me and my mom, my sister, we had a big pin that with our like faces on it. The three of us took a picture and we got it into a pants that nobody ever wore.

[Robert Kelly]

You should have.

[Lewis]

Nobody ever wore this. You should wear it now. If I could find her.

[Robert Kelly]

You find it. That'd be great. You Put on a backpack. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wear it to the Puerto Rican Day parade.

[Lewis]

Yeah. And then there was a tape of my sister and my mom doing a cover. They would do, like, a karaoke booth as well. And they did Home Sweet Home by Motley Crue. And that song always reminds me of.

[Robert Kelly]

Your mom and sister.

[Lewis]

Yeah? Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Really?

[Lewis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Your mom sang Home Sweet Home. Did she know it?

[Lewis]

Yeah, of course.

[Robert Kelly]

I didn't know how dope or not your mom was. Of course, my mom didn't know Home Sweet Home when it came out.

[Lewis]

No. Yeah, my mom was like. Yeah. She was into, like, the. The hair metal and that me and my sister were into.

[Robert Kelly]

Really?

[Lewis]

Yeah. She took us to see Poison. She was being a bag, smoking cigarettes, her hair all teased up.

[Robert Kelly]

Your mom was awesome, dude. Smoking, Sucking.

[Lewis]

Dude, chill.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jesus Christ.

[Lewis]

She was a party, My mom did. She had the same personality as fucking the Doors.

[Robert Kelly]

Your mom just always sing us. Mom, come in. Stop sitting on the ledge of the hotel. It's all bullshit.

[Lewis]

Break on through to the other side.

[Robert Kelly]

Can you hear the Indian screaming, boy? Mom, seriously, mom, get inside. You're gonna kill yourself. That's just one of my many lives, boy. Want to see if Mommy can. I want to see how many lives Mommy has left.

[Lewis]

My personality is the Doors.

[Robert Kelly]

Stop, mom, seriously, you're scaring me. Come in. Why don't you die with me, son? We could die together and be forever.

[Lewis]

Mom.

[Robert Kelly]

Seriously, Mom.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Lewis. Lewis has got your special. How's it doing, bro?

[Lewis]

It's doing great. 100,000 views as of right now.

[Robert Kelly]

Nice.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Fantastic.

[Lewis]

A couple of days ago.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Great special. Dude, you fucking.

[Lewis]

300,000. That's what we're trying to get to, boys.

[Robert Kelly]

You get more than that, you're going.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

To get way more than that. Why are you gonna set your goal so long?

[Lewis]

300,000 on YouTube, 1.6 million on Twitter.

[Robert Kelly]

2 million. 2 million on Instagram today. It's available right now on YouTube. Directed by Bobby, of course, performed and written by the great Louis J. Gomez. It's called. You'd're making this worse. Go check it out over on YouTube right now. YouTube.com LouisJ Gomez that's L, U I S. And then Louis, of course, is gonna be at Skank Fest. It's his jam November 13th through the 16th.

[Lewis]

Ooh.

[Robert Kelly]

We're gonna do some fun comedy jam stuff. Louis.

[Lewis]

Oh, I'm pumped.

[Robert Kelly]

After that, he's gonna be in Nashville, Columbus, Ohio, Miamisburg, Ohio, and Batavia, Illinois. For tickets and all tour dates go to LewisOfSkanks.com and Body Brain Coffee available right now BodyBrainCoffee.com.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Big Jay's gonna be in Tampa this weekend. Side splitters. He's got another show on Sunday.

[Robert Kelly]

Two now added in.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's got two. So fill those up until all the other shows are sold out. So make sure you check him out. And of course he's gonna be at Skank Fest and he's gonna be at the Gramercy in New York for story wars with Louis Tuesday, November 11th. And then. And that's it. Go bigj comedy.com for his for his new special is on YouTube.com bigjokerson them they and there you go. And check me out at the comedy connection.

[Robert Kelly]

I'll be doing it. I'll be also doing a Christmas crowd work.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, you are. It's funny because Matt Rife is comics.

[Robert Kelly]

Come home this weekend. The TD Garden in Boston. That's right. Bobby's coming home to you. After that. He's going to be in New Orleans for Skank Fest. Providence, Rhode island is a biggie. Make sure we fill all those shows. He'll add shows if he has to.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Point, don't do that. I'm not adding shows. I'm not adding shows.

[Robert Kelly]

No, if you have to, I want.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

To come upside down.

[Robert Kelly]

If you sell out tickets, Bobby will never stop performing in Providence, Rhode Island. I know I made this joke before, but you like Providence.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I love Providence.

[Robert Kelly]

It's more Warwick, but you'll stay there as long as you need to. Be Point pleasant. Go to Punchup live. Robert Kelly. We will be back next week live. Enjoy the pre record tomorrow. Until then, stay crackly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, no, you're not nailing it. You're there. You're close.

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