
Bobby was accused of cheating on Jay's other show "Story Warz." Comic Joe List said that Bob only won the game because he peaked at his answers. It's Black History Month and Black King Louis Johnson wrote a quiz show for Jay and Bob that tests their knowledge of black history. Find out if they know about black hair products, Rosa Parks' occupations, and the color skin of Jesus. It's a hilarious celebration of culture complete with buzzers and prizes! *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf
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Bobby Kelly
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Big J Okerson
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Bobby Kelly
Oh. Are you ready to have your own High Five moment? Well, visit High Five casino dot com. That's high. The number five casino dot com. No purchase necessary.
Christine
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Bobby Kelly
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Christine
If you went on a road trip and you didn't stop for a Big Mac or drop a crispy fry between.
Big J Okerson
The car seats or use your McDonald's.
Christine
Bag as a placemat, then that wasn't the road trip.
Bobby Kelly
It was just a really long drive at participating McDonald's.
Christine
And now the bonfire with Big J.
Big J Okerson
Okerson and Robert Kelly gone. Lou. God damn it, Lou. Just turn my mic on.
Bobby Kelly
The mic. Back off. Look, my headphones are on. Yeah, if you guys real quick. All right.
Big J Okerson
You know what, Low. I hope your fingers break. I was speaking off my personal information. I couldn't turn yours on. I want my mic on when I'm talking.
Bobby Kelly
Well, then stop singing your Social Security number at the beginning of every show.
Big J Okerson
3, 6, 6, 6, 1. Anyways, I hate when they ask you for the last four digits because I have to still do the other ones in my head out loud.
Bobby Kelly
Oh, you memorize the rhythm.
Big J Okerson
I can't. Yeah, I memorize the rhythm, so I still have to do them. Just ask for the whole thing. Please grab the last four digits. He's so cute.
Bobby Kelly
I'm gonna do all. He goes, oh, my last four. My social.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, last four. Okay, here it is. 5, 5, 6, 7, 7, 4. 1, 2, 2, 1. I gave it all to you.
Bobby Kelly
That is real, by the way. So everybody order whatever. You came on Amazon right now under Bobby Kelly.
Big J Okerson
I got pulled over by the cops today.
Bobby Kelly
For real?
Big J Okerson
Yeah, I was doing. I was speeding on the sawmill, which is fucking ridiculous.
Bobby Kelly
What is it, a 50?
Big J Okerson
I was on the phone, too, for like, a minute and a half, which, with the cops behind you is like seven hours. Because I'm on the phone talking. I don't know who the fuck I was talking to.
Bobby Kelly
Of course you don't. You don't even remember what you were saying to them. You were distracted completely. They go. And then she came home and said that I'm not listening to her enough. And you're like, sucks, man. Sucks staring in a rear view.
Big J Okerson
And I get on the right lane, I'm gonna take the exit to see and yep, sure enough, gets out kind of milfy Italian chick. I think her name was Isabella, which really kind of filled me up a little bit.
Bobby Kelly
What?
Big J Okerson
Oh, sorry, I forgot about that.
Bobby Kelly
That's crazy, buddy.
Big J Okerson
No, not that. Isabella. Isabella with a T. Well, you could.
Bobby Kelly
Say with an S because hers is.
Big J Okerson
A Z. I'm sorry, dude, I forgot you. I forgot.
Bobby Kelly
Weird.
Big J Okerson
It's a good name.
Bobby Kelly
She told you her first name?
Big J Okerson
No, it was on the. It was on her ticket.
Bobby Kelly
She gave me a ticket.
Big J Okerson
She. Well, this is what she's. Because I do. 10 to 2. Officer, I'm so sorry. I got you. You know, whatever you need, I'm gonna reach in over here. I just want to let you know.
Bobby Kelly
I hope I'm not out of line, but that ass is like Platow in that outfit.
Big J Okerson
I'd love to take a gun and stick it in the back of your head while you did some bad stuff to me.
Bobby Kelly
See, that's why I'd be bailing with a girl. Pull me up, I go, officer, I'm very sorry. I messed up. I know, I understand. I'll accept a ticket. Thank God for you because I'm pretty sure with minimal effort I could remove your gun from your holster and beat you to death. But that's not the person I am. So I'm gonna accept this ticket from you, lady. And you should thank God people like me exist because one of these days you're going to pull over someone who's not me and they're going to beat you to death with your own gun. Or you're going to shoot them because they slightly disagree with you, because you have no idea how else to handle it.
Big J Okerson
She was nice, but she had to be.
Bobby Kelly
You could have killed her.
Big J Okerson
Women cops have chips on their shoulder. Yeah, they have to. We go, I have to do this. She gave me the whole. I'm trying to keep everybody safe. I go, listen, save that for a fucking 17 year old. I've been driving for years. I. I know how to keep everybody safe. I'm on the sawmill, I'm doing the.
Bobby Kelly
When you looked at her through the window, did you go, you have a pussy right there? Did you say that? Hey, look how important you think you are. And look, you have a pussy. It's right in front of me. It's right there.
Big J Okerson
That's what I did.
Bobby Kelly
Right behind that belt and that zipper right there is just a girl's pussy.
Big J Okerson
Oh God, she I thought. I thought there was a second of, like, maybe I got her with my charisma. You know, there's always that. You know, it's the amount of time between when she gets in the car and she gets back out of the car. But then I was like, I'm getting the ticket because it's been too. It's been too much.
Bobby Kelly
Can you give Louis flowers, by the way, here? A little bit. You said she has a chip on her shoulder. He combined the two. California Highway Patrol.
Big J Okerson
Yeah. He's a genius mastermind.
Bobby Kelly
I'm just saying. So don't break his fingers simply because he doesn't respect your headphone game.
Big J Okerson
Well, it's not that he doesn't respect my headphone. He doesn't respect my seat in this chair because I start to talk and my mic isn't on until he sees you put your headphones on. That's when the show starts. It kills the music in the room. And Jay likes to rock out, and I don't want to stop a good groove that the host is enjoying. I'm the host too, fuckface.
Bobby Kelly
Okay, look at me.
Big J Okerson
Look at me. I'm one of the fucking guys, okay? So I was ready to go. So when I'm ready to go, sometimes maybe you can go. 99% of the time, you wait until you sit there like a fucking eagle waiting for him to put his. They're on. Okay, go, everybody.
Bobby Kelly
Bobby, do you really want my energy in the room being someone who was cut short of rocking out?
Big J Okerson
You know what? You make a good point. I apologize. That'd be a bad thing.
Bobby Kelly
Sometimes I rock out and I put the headphones on, then it goes into the headphones, and then I rock out there for a few, and I come in in a good mood. But if I'm rocking out and then hard stop in the room, I go, oh, I guess we're starting the show now.
Big J Okerson
Listen, dude, I respect your start game. You know that. And I've. I've. When you were out, my start game was on fire.
Bobby Kelly
Nice.
Big J Okerson
Okay, Lou, am I right? Yes. Let me turn your mic on. When you're giving compliments, Robert, you are on point. There's a thing, though, you know what I mean? Every once in a while, I was. Yeah, yeah, I agree. And he just looks at you. I. I don't look at anybody. I don't make eye contact. You know this.
Bobby Kelly
I stare in those baby blues four times a show. Me and you were what I would describe as synced you. And you don't feel that with Bobby completely in sync.
Big J Okerson
No, he doesn't.
Bobby Kelly
You are the end of my Yang. We finish each other's.
Big J Okerson
Yes. I wish sometimes we. What? Okay. It's not working out.
Bobby Kelly
Simpatico.
Big J Okerson
Dude. I am. I was so mad last night. You know, we did the story wars which was, I don't know, epic.
Bobby Kelly
Fantastic episode.
Big J Okerson
One of the best shows. One of the best episodes yet, right?
Bobby Kelly
Absolutely.
Big J Okerson
I mean, what a storyline. Couldn't write that well.
Bobby Kelly
Also the murderer's row. You Joe List. Dan Soder.
Big J Okerson
Yeah. You and Lewis.
Bobby Kelly
Me and Lewis.
Big J Okerson
What a great show. I mean we've been in the business for 25, 30 years together.
Bobby Kelly
How could it go bad?
Big J Okerson
Didn't.
Bobby Kelly
Did not.
Big J Okerson
And then a stellar ending. Overtime come back win Bobby from.
Bobby Kelly
From last place to first place.
Big J Okerson
Joe List. I'm watching Lewis's Zach whatever sideshow podcast he does.
Bobby Kelly
That's what it's called. And Zach Sideshow.
Big J Okerson
And he's. He's on there put Building a case with them and the fans that's against me that I cheated on that. That I cheated.
Bobby Kelly
This is Joe List putting this together.
Big J Okerson
Without even calling me, giving me a heads up. Just goes on and builds a case against me.
Bobby Kelly
Is it a strong case to him?
Big J Okerson
It is to the. To the weak minded cattle fans that watch that show.
Bobby Kelly
Okay.
Big J Okerson
And love Joe. The cattle. They are.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah.
Big J Okerson
Moo. It is.
Bobby Kelly
Delusion's at cattle.
Big J Okerson
But here's the thing. He came on last night, but they all were kind of in on the thing in cahoots because they're all kind of standing soda too. Well, yeah, they were all staring because you know, Joe calls soda at like in the afternoon. Hey, man. Dude, you know Bobby. Yeah, I know, man. I wasn't thinking about it like that. But now that you put it like that. That's Dan.
Bobby Kelly
He turns you home.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, dude, I didn't. I thought it was awesome. But you know what?
Bobby Kelly
You make sense now as macho man. Please.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, I didn't think about it like that. But now you're making sense.
Bobby Kelly
I don't miss him one bit.
Big J Okerson
So. So. But I go on last night and they're all, you know, they're all looking at me like vampires. Did you Starting the show. And they're all looking at me like vampires. Like, oh, this is weird. What happened? Yeah, you cheated. And then they go on. But then here's the thing. You don't know me. I've been. I've been. I've been. I've been going through this my whole life. Convicted of stuff I didn't do.
Bobby Kelly
Right.
Big J Okerson
So I presented my case and I turned everybody.
Bobby Kelly
Everyone.
Big J Okerson
Everybody.
Bobby Kelly
You fought the law and you won.
Big J Okerson
Yes.
Bobby Kelly
What?
Big J Okerson
Except today on the sawmill, I like.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, except that you didn't get pussy or anything. And then you let a woman bully you.
Big J Okerson
He was.
Bobby Kelly
Why didn't you just not accept it?
Big J Okerson
I'm not. I hate those people.
Bobby Kelly
No, no. When she gives you the tickets, I look forward to seeing you again and just throw it like at her in the chest.
Big J Okerson
I'm gonna go fight it. She's not gonna show up.
Bobby Kelly
Oh, you hope she does show up.
Big J Okerson
I hope she does hope. Isabella.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah. As soon as she walks in, they go, Mr. Kelly, Mr. Kelly. And you go, wait, hang on. I have to let Dreamweaver stop playing. Look at her saunter in the room. Look at that wide kneed stance.
Big J Okerson
I love her in tactical pants.
Bobby Kelly
I'm pretty sure those shoes have orthotics in them. But that's what I would say right there. When she goes, you know you were speeding. I go, do you know that you have panties under this? No, I do know that I was speeding. Do you know that you're wearing bra and panties under that? How hilarious is that? What if we get into a scuffle and one of your fucking underwires comes out and stabs you right in the tit? You probably haven't even thought about that because you're a dumb girl. Anyway. Give me your silly ticket. Nice penmanship, Twat. You dot your eyes with heart. Still. Grow up. Isabella Ruiz.
Big J Okerson
That was Italian.
Bobby Kelly
So his whole Isabella Casabianco.
Big J Okerson
I think it was a C, buddy. His whole thing was that I looked at who he picked, which is legit. We all looked the whole game. Everybody looked at other people who you picked and changed it from who other people picked.
Bobby Kelly
Can I be devil's advocate?
Big J Okerson
Not yet.
Bobby Kelly
Okay.
Big J Okerson
And then he. I was. I was betting 14. I was betting max. No matter what. Because here's my theory. I'm betting max.
Bobby Kelly
That's the argument. That would be the argument. There is. They're arguing is that you took the bet like you wagered when you realized you were both voting the same thing called strategy. In the old or not. In the overtime of the game, it may have been said.
Big J Okerson
Nope.
Bobby Kelly
But I do think you're not supposed to show who you voted for.
Big J Okerson
Was not. And in the future, maybe you do that. Maybe.
Bobby Kelly
But it wasn't.
Big J Okerson
Maybe you have the Joe List puss rule in the future.
Bobby Kelly
Sure. I feel like you're mad at me. I'm just asking questions.
Big J Okerson
I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at them. I'm mad at him.
Bobby Kelly
You're mad at them.
Big J Okerson
I'm not at them. Him. Him.
Bobby Kelly
Also Louis.
Big J Okerson
Not Louis, no.
Bobby Kelly
But there's always a little fire, a.
Big J Okerson
Little bit of Louis. Always. It's just in there.
Bobby Kelly
Honest to God, like some. At one point, Christine called me last week in hotel, and I was furious on the phone, and she goes, what happened? I go, I literally just fucking stubbed my toe. And a little bit of Lewis. She was like, were you talking to Lewis when you stood your toe. He goes, I haven't talked to Louis in two days. Yeah, but it's always a little bit of it, a little bit of that. It could be something. God damn it, I got a fucking ticket. And Lewis.
Big J Okerson
It's true. There's always a hint of Lewis and Lewis.
Bobby Kelly
That's what fucking his next album should be called. Dot, dot, dot and Lewis. All this and Louis.
Big J Okerson
Oh, and that phone rings and you're like, fuck, here it is.
Bobby Kelly
By the way. I mean, the overwhelming feeling I have when he calls and he just goes, hey, man. He goes, just fucking was driving, thought I'd call and shoot the shit. I go, what, you want to shoot this shit? We never shoot this shit, but you.
Big J Okerson
Know it's coming, and then you shoot the shit.
Bobby Kelly
How things been? You know how things been for me? Me, I think we should do story wars three more times a week.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, exactly. You know, there's a business plan in the future. Dude, I was thinking about this. I was talking to this guy. He's the best. I know we get the.
Bobby Kelly
Why don't we fly out next week and do gigs somewhere together? But next week, you know, we should do.
Big J Okerson
We should merge skanks and regs together, make a super podcast.
Bobby Kelly
You want to do every other month, the full month in Austin, Cuz I've already booked an Airbnb.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, it's Christ almighty. Always a little bit of Lewis.
Bobby Kelly
Always a little bit of Lewis.
Big J Okerson
But Dan.
Bobby Kelly
Dan says if you ask anyone right now, he goes, why'd you shave your head? And you're so angry, lady. He goes, cuz Trump won. And Louis Trump. And then also Louis exists. We. I know. I'm trying to get my energy up. My body's broken.
Big J Okerson
But you're with me on this, right? You think I'm right? Should I play this video? But you're with me, right, Jay?
Bobby Kelly
What? Can I see what happens?
Big J Okerson
Jay, look at me. You can, but I want you to look at me first.
Bobby Kelly
If we didn't, I'm gonna say something to you and this is having your back. If we didn't say you don't look over at who you're. If we said this is on this round, you don't look over and you're supposed to keep it quiet to yourself. Who.
Big J Okerson
Let me ask you a question. If somebody shows you. If I'm sitting there with my thing right flipping open, am I supposed to look the other way? Like if he's showing me his stuff, what am I supposed to do?
Bobby Kelly
It's. It's him. It's. It was. He should have protected it better. For sure. For sure. You should protect it. What are you supposed to do there?
Big J Okerson
What am I supposed to do now? Do over the vote, stupid. Show me his thing.
Bobby Kelly
The. The money was already in. If it's my correct. This is our first real overtime.
Big J Okerson
Buddy. I was betting for. I was betting max no matter what.
Bobby Kelly
But was that number in before anything else?
Big J Okerson
I don't know. I don't.
Bobby Kelly
I feel like that's going to be the issue.
Big J Okerson
It's not. Even if. Even if I'm telling you, you have to believe me. I was pick. This is my strategy. I'm picking the same person. We've been looking at who we pick. I'm picking Lewis.
Bobby Kelly
The game's fine with that.
Big J Okerson
Picking. And then I'm betting 14. How much can I bet? Max. I'm betting max. That's it. That was my strategy.
Bobby Kelly
And then also to go along with whatever Joe says and just hope that he took.
Big J Okerson
I looked at who he picked.
Bobby Kelly
Right.
Big J Okerson
That's all. I looked at who he picked.
Bobby Kelly
You didn't know what he. What he.
Big J Okerson
He had his thing flipping around. But I was like it didn't matter.
Bobby Kelly
If you see someone's wager in the thing.
Big J Okerson
Yeah. Well, there's no.
Bobby Kelly
But here's also the argument. Let me say something. If you're copying it because he did a little bit less than you.
Big J Okerson
I did more.
Bobby Kelly
You voted. You bet more on the final round. Jacob, you in story wars. Not the final round but the overtime. It's whoever is tied at the end they do a story from one of the three other people left on the panel who are out of the game. And it's just. And this was Bobby versus Joe. They were tied for first place. And before. This is the only thing because you're tied at 14. They were you like. Like Daily doubles you or Final Jeopardy rather. You're going to put how many of your points you're going to wager in and then you put your. Then you do your guess after they read the story.
Big J Okerson
Let's watch this video.
Bobby Kelly
But if Bob. But here's the thing. You did 14. Joe did 13.
Big J Okerson
Yeah.
Bobby Kelly
If you. If you both would have been wrong. If it wasn't Louis's story, he would have won.
Big J Okerson
He would have won.
Bobby Kelly
He would have won by point.
Big J Okerson
So fuck him.
Bobby Kelly
So they should get over it. It could have backfired on you terribly.
Big J Okerson
And he's trying to get the fans and your. He's diluting and diminishing my epic overtime comeback win.
Bobby Kelly
Because is he. Is the threat to take you off the wall of fame or is he trying to take away your story warriorship?
Big J Okerson
He's trying to take. He's trying to put an asterisk next to it. Like he's trying to make it not as epic as it was.
Bobby Kelly
It was pretty epic.
Big J Okerson
It was epic. And now he's trying to add this shit. So watch this. Thank you. Thank you. I saw it.
Black Lou
See it. Look at that big dumb smile.
Big J Okerson
He's all happy because he knows he's going to cheat, that if I win.
Bobby Kelly
No one can touch me. Huh? Yeah.
Black Lou
So he sees my points. Okay, here it comes. I'm going to knock over some water.
Big J Okerson
Here because that's cheating.
Christine
This is a ruse.
Black Lou
There it comes. Boom, there it is.
Big J Okerson
You can look. You can look.
Black Lou
Then he looks at you guys to see if he's in trouble.
Bobby Kelly
He looked at your points and your answer.
Black Lou
Yes, he did.
Big J Okerson
And look at his smile.
Black Lou
See his little smile?
Bobby Kelly
He knows.
Big J Okerson
He knows there's no way that he can loses.
Black Lou
He knows he's gonna win.
Bobby Kelly
He knows. He knows there's no way that he can lose.
Black Lou
He knows he's gonna win. Then he plays it off like he's gonna lose. See, look. Now he does a thing. He's acting like, oh, man, maybe I didn't win.
Bobby Kelly
Do you do the regs with 17 people?
Big J Okerson
That's not the regs.
Bobby Kelly
Oh, that's Lewis and Zach.
Big J Okerson
That's Lewis's act. Sideshow.
Bobby Kelly
Got you. Gotcha.
Big J Okerson
That's in case Jay dies or hates me and doesn't do the snacks. I have something that might work out. Show nice. That's. I don't want to do this with just Dave.
Bobby Kelly
Listen, I don't know if I would bank it all on a guy who's looks like he's constantly on death's door. Yeah, your sub Big J is too big.
Big J Okerson
Banking on a guy that used to look like that.
Bobby Kelly
Too big of J back on a guy who.
Big J Okerson
It's horseshit. I'm scared to go for Bobby's bad acting.
Bobby Kelly
But Bobby never became famous. He's a.
Black Lou
He's got 14.
Big J Okerson
Bobby never became famous. You've never been close to it, Louis. I'm. I'm the most famous person, you know.
Bobby Kelly
More than takes his calls right in.
Big J Okerson
The writers guild and sagging after you. You got cut out of Joe's movie. Not a bad. I'm a fantastic actor. Well, it's just a little bit of Lewis. Yeah, I was just a little Lewis.
Bobby Kelly
A little bit of Lewis.
Big J Okerson
This is mostly Joe, but it's a little bit Louis right now.
Bobby Kelly
Always a little bit. Well, time to get your mind off things here, Bobby, because I'm so excited for this. We have a very exciting day here on the show now, if you're wondering. I do. I'm a little beat up. I'm hurting today because of how I celebrate black history. Basketball. Playing basketball with five whites and one black. That's black history. That's how black history used to be. That was basketball in the 50s, Bobby. And also we use a peach basketball. We go real old school white basketball. A beach basket. But no. So black Lou, you have put together for us.
Big J Okerson
And black Lou looks great.
Bobby Kelly
Black Lou looks fantastic. Dashiki and a do rag.
Big J Okerson
God damn it. Is that yours or did you have to buy that?
Christine
No, this is all mine.
Big J Okerson
Nice.
Bobby Kelly
But they're costumes. Absolutely. Once in a while that's what you should wear though. Whenever, like your wife has family that you haven't met yet. When they come to the house, you have to wear that stuff.
Big J Okerson
That's funny.
Bobby Kelly
Cuz that's what they're expecting and hoping, you know, I mean, is going to be to talk about as you goes goes. My brothers and sisters. Welcome to the home.
Big J Okerson
I love a dashiki. Yeah, I'd love to wear one. Is that bad? If I wore one, would that be appropriation? Appropriation.
Bobby Kelly
No.
Christine
You know what? You're tan enough. I feel like people will not question you.
Bobby Kelly
I'll tell you what. For this game, in hindsight, you should have worn a dashiki. And I should have got my hair cornrowed.
Big J Okerson
Night. Dude. If Jay Wor1 besides looking like PM dawn, would he. Would that be. Would that be bad?
Bobby Kelly
AJ, what are you doing? I'm just setting adrift in memories of you. Wow. What are you guys doing? Yes.
Big J Okerson
Holy. That is the same one.
Bobby Kelly
It's the identical one.
Big J Okerson
That's exactly. White dashiki. Let's get this going. I'm excited. What are we doing?
Black Lou
Well, Jay, you're gonna sit next to Bobby and Then Lewis is going to sit where you're sitting.
Big J Okerson
And I. I tell you this, I'm not gonna. I don't cheat. I'm gonna. This game is.
Bobby Kelly
I didn't even correlate the idea that Bobby cheats don't cheat. And he's excited about it. He does it, he'll go, oh, I thought the rules were. I. Well, the good thing, I turn your buzzer off.
Black Lou
It's all up here. We're not writing anything down, so unless he could read your mind.
Bobby Kelly
Okay, here we go.
Big J Okerson
Okay, here we go.
Bobby Kelly
All right.
Big J Okerson
What are we doing? What is. What are we doing? By the way, he's gonna.
Black Lou
Lewis is gonna explain everything.
Big J Okerson
All right.
Black Lou
This is a proper game.
Big J Okerson
You know, I love. I love bonfire games.
Black Lou
Lou, you look great.
Big J Okerson
Lou looks fantastic. Dude, I'd wear that all the time if I could.
Christine
Oh, this is nice.
Black Lou
Can I say the red doesn't go with the. The shirt that I would have picked a different color, but.
Christine
Well, you're not black, so.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, you're not black. And it, it kind of adds a kung fu vibe, which I like.
Black Lou
You know what you got me there?
Big J Okerson
A little show. Show. Not show up.
Bobby Kelly
You look like grandpa Wu Tang. Is that Papa Boutique?
Big J Okerson
You look. You really do look a huxtable. Yes, gentlemen.
Black Lou
Already?
Big J Okerson
Yes, I'm ready.
Black Lou
All right.
Bobby Kelly
You're the ghost face.
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Big J Okerson
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Bobby Kelly
Hey, we all know to consider our pits when it comes to odor. But what about the other odor zones?
Big J Okerson
We really do have a lot of zones.
Bobby Kelly
We have to cover your stank zones.
Big J Okerson
Stank zones? Woo.
Bobby Kelly
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Big J Okerson
I love a whole body tackle Whole.
Bobby Kelly
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Big J Okerson
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Bobby Kelly
I want to get the language so right that everybody here will cry out yes, I'm black. I'm proud of it. I'm black and beautiful.
Big J Okerson
Racism is a bitch. I mean white people, you gotta know.
Christine
It fucks you up.
Big J Okerson
But what it does to black people is a bitch.
Christine
It's hard enough being a human being.
Bobby Kelly
I'm not gay no more.
Big J Okerson
I am delivered.
Bobby Kelly
I don't like men no more. I said I like women.
Christine
Women, women, women.
Bobby Kelly
There is not a black America and a white America and Latino America and and Asian America. There's the United States of America. Are we ready? Let's get busy. Go.
Christine
Welcome to the Bonfire Black History month pop quiz where we will find out who is more knowledgeable about black history. Between the honorable brother Robert Kelly and the smooth talking former black circuit comedian and international player, Big J Okerson, every correct question will be worth one black Piven.
Bobby Kelly
Okay, now I like that.
Big J Okerson
Oh, my God, I'm very excited.
Christine
And our culture questions will be worth two black Pivens per correct answer.
Bobby Kelly
Ironically, though, every Piven. Every black Piven is only worth three fifths of every regular Piven.
Big J Okerson
You can use it above 125th street too.
Bobby Kelly
It's like Jeffrey Dollars.
Christine
Whoever has the most black Pippins at the end of the quiz will be crowned the official bonfire soul brother. For the entire month of February, you each have a buzzer. The first person to buzz in has a chance to answer the question. The winner will receive a grand prize of one N word pass.
Big J Okerson
Oh, I need one of those.
Christine
A legendary black seasoning of my choice. Good on any meat or vegetable. I'm your host, African American Lou. And now let's get it popping.
Bobby Kelly
Now, should we. We should let the people hear for the record, what our respective buzzers sound like. Yes, this is mine.
Big J Okerson
And here's mine.
Bobby Kelly
Okay, get it.
Christine
All right. Sister Christine's gonna be taking points for us. She's gonna be keeping score. And let's get started. Question one, Christine for the streets, as.
Bobby Kelly
We should call her.
Black Lou
Christine. You're keeping score.
Big J Okerson
So we just buzz in when we get it.
Christine
Buzz in when you get it.
Black Lou
First person to buzz in.
Bobby Kelly
Jacob, you're gonna have to line judge that.
Black Lou
Yeah, I'm good with that.
Big J Okerson
Are you holding your buzzer up?
Black Lou
I thought you should hold it closer to the mic.
Christine
Question 1. Why is black History Month celebrated in February?
Bobby Kelly
J. Shortest month of the year.
Christine
Ooh, kiss.
Big J Okerson
More converse.
Christine
I'm sorry, the answer is.
Bobby Kelly
Well, it doesn't say you get a chance to steal or no.
Christine
No stealing in this one.
Black Lou
No stealing.
Christine
In honor of Black History Month, there will be no stealing.
Big J Okerson
But you guys, that's your thing during this. That's your thing. It should be extra stealing.
Bobby Kelly
That's Hispanic. That's Hispanic Heritage Month.
Big J Okerson
Oh, okay.
Christine
Yes.
Big J Okerson
Can I. I know.
Bobby Kelly
Or as Lou call. Or as DJ Lou calls it, the super roll.
Big J Okerson
Isn't that when they abolished slavery?
Christine
That's incorrect. The correct answer is it's the month of Frederick Douglass and Abraham Lincoln's birthday.
Big J Okerson
Oh, well, that's kind of the same thing.
Christine
All right.
Bobby Kelly
Abraham Lincoln's white.
Big J Okerson
Was Fred like the guy with the peanut?
Bobby Kelly
Freddie Douglas.
Black Lou
Let's not jump ahead, okay?
Big J Okerson
Sorry, guys.
Christine
Question 2. Before Black History Month, what was this celebration of African American culture?
Bobby Kelly
Called.
Christine
Called. I believe Jay got that one.
Bobby Kelly
Jay got that house party.
Big J Okerson
Damn it. Kiss my Converse.
Christine
I'm sorry, that's incorrect.
Big J Okerson
God. I have it.
Black Lou
What would you have sent Robert?
Big J Okerson
Barbecue.
Christine
I'm sorry. That's wrong. It was called Negro History Week.
Big J Okerson
Can we say that?
Christine
Yes.
Big J Okerson
Okay. That's funny saying that one.
Christine
Question three.
Big J Okerson
Yeah.
Christine
In 1971, the iconic black music TV show Soul Train was created and hosted by which TV presenter? J.
Bobby Kelly
Don Cornelius.
Christine
Don Cornelius is correct. Here is your first black pivot to start everything up.
Bobby Kelly
I'm Don Cornelius. And as always in party, we wish you love. And Pete.
Big J Okerson
And. Not even gonna. Let me. Let me touch it.
Bobby Kelly
Go on, touch it.
Big J Okerson
Oh, that's a special.
Bobby Kelly
Do you want to see if his hair. Do you want to see if his hair is different from white Piven?
Big J Okerson
It's actually softer and smoother skin than a regular Piven.
Bobby Kelly
It really is a higher quality than a regular Piven.
Big J Okerson
Very soft and. Hmm.
Christine
All right, question four. At the time of her historic bus incident, what was Rosa Parks occupations?
Big J Okerson
Teacher.
Christine
Bobby. I'm sorry. That's incorrect.
Bobby Kelly
I was gonna say compl.
Christine
Very incorrect. The correct answer is department store seamstress. And she was a secretary.
Bobby Kelly
Mouthy.
Christine
Question 5. What black TV sitcom did Jay Leno first appear on? Bobby.
Big J Okerson
Good Times.
Christine
Good Times.
Bobby Kelly
Completely. Guess that.
Big J Okerson
I didn't.
Bobby Kelly
Yes, you did.
Big J Okerson
No, I. Dude, I was around. That's. I'm older than you. It was like my sitcom. Yeah, I was around. What the you talking about? I was born in 1970.
Bobby Kelly
He didn't know that.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, I did. I remember his big head came in.
Bobby Kelly
That's vague. Yeah, I remember he had, like, a butt chin, I think.
Big J Okerson
No, no, I remember he came. He was on the. He was on the. He was on the show. I remember it.
Bobby Kelly
That's fine.
Big J Okerson
I used to watch it.
Christine
Next question.
Big J Okerson
Like when it was on Live. Like that. That week's episode.
Black Lou
Should we get it? Is there points? Update one and one. There we go.
Big J Okerson
It's very smooth.
Christine
Tied one to one. What was inventor George Washington Carver's significant historical contribution?
Big J Okerson
Bobby the peanut.
Christine
Can you be more.
Big J Okerson
The peanut butter?
Christine
That is incorrect.
Big J Okerson
Peanuts. Kiss more. Converse.
Bobby Kelly
We can't steal. But my answer would have been two tone hair.
Christine
Also incorrect. A lot of people think that he made peanut butter, but actually what he did was develop great crop rotation methods, and that helped the peanut become actually what it is today.
Bobby Kelly
Damn, you're racist.
Black Lou
We learn on the bonfire.
Big J Okerson
But it was. But it was the peanut. He didn't. He didn't. He didn't come up with the peanut.
Christine
He did not.
Big J Okerson
Or peanut butter.
Christine
He did not.
Big J Okerson
Are you sure his. He didn't bump into somebody with, like, a chocolate bar and he had peanut butter? Did he invest at Reese's? No.
Christine
Nothing. All right, question seven. What was Nat.
Big J Okerson
What song is this? I don't think this is appropriate, too. I'm pretty sure we're gonna get in trouble for this song.
Bobby Kelly
Why does Lou gonna cook the loser in the pot?
Big J Okerson
Okay, go ahead.
Christine
What was Nat Turner's revolt?
Big J Okerson
Can I hear it again, please?
Christine
Yes. Question seven.
Big J Okerson
Yeah.
Christine
What was Nat Turner's revolt?
Big J Okerson
Can I hear it in a black guy's voice, please?
Bobby Kelly
Yeah.
Christine
Question number seven. What was Nat Turner's revolt? Player Bobby?
Big J Okerson
His revolt was the Black Panthers. Kiss my Converse.
Christine
Sorry, that's incorrect. Jay, did you want to give it a shot?
Bobby Kelly
Turner's revolt. Oh, yes, it was. Oh, was he the first one to say, I'm going over to fat white?
Christine
No, I'm sorry.
Bobby Kelly
So he's like, man, these black chicks are mouthy. You hear Rosa Parks about the bus? This dude who.
Big J Okerson
Who was the first one to go to white chicks?
Christine
It's a great question. Okay, I want to know what he.
Bobby Kelly
Could have been Sidney Poitier.
Christine
So Nat Turner's revolt was a small group of followers that followed Nat. They killed their owners and set off towards Jerusalem. The group killed around 60 white people in two days before being overwhelmed by an armed resistance.
Bobby Kelly
Wow.
Christine
That was Nat Turner's revolt.
Bobby Kelly
Thank you for. Thank you for hiring us, white boss. No good deed, Am I right, guys? Give these guys some fucking work, some livable wages, a place to sleep.
Big J Okerson
How long have they had black slaves? That's a long time.
Christine
Long time.
Big J Okerson
Wow.
Christine
Question eight.
Big J Okerson
Yeah.
Christine
Which iconic black man coined the phrase by any means necessary? Told you.
Black Lou
All right.
Bobby Kelly
J. Fred Hampton.
Christine
I'm sorry. Incorrect. Bobby, for no points. Did you want to throw an answer out there, Tyrese?
Big J Okerson
Yeah. It was Denzel Washington. You'd be more specific In American Gangster. Pretty sure. The diner scene. And then he went and shot Idris Ellenus in the head.
Bobby Kelly
I have another guess. Is it Tony? T O N E from Tony. Tony. Tony.
Christine
The correct answer is the brother Malcolm.
Bobby Kelly
Right.
Big J Okerson
Right in front of our face.
Bobby Kelly
I forgot. That black person.
Big J Okerson
I only know. I only know three of them, and that was one of them, and I'm two.
Bobby Kelly
So Malcolm 11 and Malcolm 12.
Christine
Question nine. Who played Malcolm X in the 1992 film Malcolm X?
Big J Okerson
Come on, son.
Bobby Kelly
Denzel Washington.
Christine
Denzel Washington is correct. Black pivot for you, good sir.
Bobby Kelly
Oh, thank you.
Big J Okerson
That's some.
Bobby Kelly
Two pivens.
Big J Okerson
That was bullshit. I answered that question.
Bobby Kelly
I got two Pivens and a possible. That's a spades reference, Bobby. This guy's no black history.
Christine
All right, next question. Madam C.J. walker is known as the first black self made millionaire. How did she make her money?
Bobby Kelly
Oh, foster care scams.
Black Lou
No, I would let Bobby. Because it was a tie. Tie on the buzzer. So let Bobby answer this one.
Big J Okerson
So glow.
Christine
I'm gonna.
Bobby Kelly
I'm gonna.
Christine
I'm gonna give you that one.
Bobby Kelly
Yes.
Christine
Black hair care products. Scalp conditioning and healing formula.
Big J Okerson
Bob, get mad at this hair man. Those hair blacks haven't.
Christine
Coming your way.
Big J Okerson
My brother. Thank you, my brother.
Christine
Absolutely. Play it.
Big J Okerson
Good. You don't take a swing, you're not gonna hit the ball.
Bobby Kelly
Frederick Douglas did popularize two tone hair.
Christine
Next question. Who was the first African American model to be featured on the COVID of GQ magazine? Was that a time?
Black Lou
Big J. Big J Okerson.
Bobby Kelly
Jeremy Campbell.
Christine
Sorry, that is incorrect, but very close.
Black Lou
What would you have said, Bobby?
Big J Okerson
Was it a female? It's a female, right? You talking about female? Yes, I would say Lizzo. I would have said back when the.
Black Lou
World was seen the 80s.
Big J Okerson
I would have said I don't know any black Iman. I don't know any black Superman.
Bobby Kelly
Grace Jones.
Big J Okerson
Grace Jones.
Bobby Kelly
Did I say Naomi Campbell already?
Christine
Yes.
Big J Okerson
Seal.
Christine
Seal. The answer is Tyra Banks.
Big J Okerson
Tyra Banks. She had her own show.
Bobby Kelly
Said it was the 80s.
Christine
Was it?
Black Lou
I thought Tyro's 80s. Well, it doesn't matter.
Christine
No, she's 90 80s.
Big J Okerson
Jacob, question, Jacob.
Bobby Kelly
Oh, once again, the white man up a game.
Black Lou
I thought I remembered my Sports Illustrated knowledge.
Bobby Kelly
That's.
Black Lou
I. That's not on the paper. That was just me riffing.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, I know, I know it was on the paper.
Christine
All right, next question.
Black Lou
Wait, what year? All right, go ahead.
Christine
Harriet Tubman is famous. Excuse me? Harriet Tubman's famous is famous is a famous sister. While she was known for freeing the slaves, she was also known for three other activities. Name one of the three.
Bobby Kelly
J. Mm. Uh. Oh, hell no.
Christine
Sorry, that's incorrect. Bobby, did you want to shout one out just in case?
Big J Okerson
I was gonna say picking cotton.
Christine
Incorrect.
Big J Okerson
Is that. No, I'm not making quilts.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, not sucking dick and going to the cops if you hit her.
Big J Okerson
Making. Making food, helping children. She was a bartender asking you to watch her children. She was. She was. No, I got nothing.
Bobby Kelly
The first woman to rob a dollar store.
Christine
She was technically in the military. Starts with an S. She was A spy.
Bobby Kelly
Slave.
Christine
A scout. And a nurse.
Bobby Kelly
A nurse.
Big J Okerson
A nurse.
Bobby Kelly
Slave. Nurse. That's interesting.
Christine
Yes.
Bobby Kelly
You know, you can do that, by the way.
Black Lou
Tyra Banks. 96, 97, and 2019.
Bobby Kelly
Jacob, you looking up something we already all knew the answer to.
Black Lou
You know the exact year, and it was on 90s.
Bobby Kelly
I know. She. I know. In 19, like, 96. She. She was in the movie Higher Learning. That was, like, everyone's first introduction.
Big J Okerson
What?
Black Lou
I. I'm admitting my guild.
Bobby Kelly
So what happens? Bobby gets the point taken away. I think that's fair. Fair.
Big J Okerson
That's a so glow pivot. Put that down. Don't touch my pivots. All right, fellas, you're just mad.
Christine
Next question.
Big J Okerson
Did you join Joe List Club?
Bobby Kelly
Damn.
Christine
Cheat.
Big J Okerson
I didn't cheat. I got so glow, dude. It's hair products.
Bobby Kelly
How do you travel around with a bag of a Thousand Lollipop Zin replacement.
Black Lou
I'm such an addict.
Bobby Kelly
Bobby goes, I stop Zinn. And that's who I am, dude. That's the person I am. I wake up one day and I look in the mirror and I go, it's done. Let's replace it with something much more difficult to carry around.
Black Lou
And then you flicked it like you were turning off a light.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, I don't do zins anymore.
Black Lou
Yeah.
Big J Okerson
And this will be done.
Black Lou
Now it's lollipop.
Big J Okerson
Next week, I'll be done with these.
Bobby Kelly
I'm gonna miss you walking in with a Costco bag of dum dums.
Big J Okerson
I did go a little crazy.
Bobby Kelly
You also only like one flavor.
Big J Okerson
I do root beer and butterscotch. Two flavors. You choose root beer, root beer, and butterscotch.
Bobby Kelly
That should lose them. A pivot.
Big J Okerson
What do you choose?
Bobby Kelly
If I'm going dum dums.
Big J Okerson
Yeah.
Bobby Kelly
Apple, grape blue.
Big J Okerson
You should get it.
Bobby Kelly
Is there watermelon? Yeah, watermelon. Yeah.
Big J Okerson
You should get a pivot. You should get a black pivot for just saying all those flavors.
Bobby Kelly
I'll accept pineapple, too, because as a person who grew up in a black neighborhood, pineapple soda was my jam.
Christine
All right, next question. Describe the color of Jesus's skin according to the Holy Bible. Jay.
Bobby Kelly
Bronze.
Christine
That is correct. Dark complexion and curly hair where bronze signifies a brownish skin tone.
Big J Okerson
How does he know that? He's a Jew. How'd you know? Bronze.
Bobby Kelly
Black Jesus. Do you know how many times I just stand in a circle with black comedians and pray to black Jesus.
Big J Okerson
And hear this? Do you know the actual Bible passage?
Bobby Kelly
Yeah. Hair of wool and bronze skin. Yes, I know. It's said constantly at black comedy places.
Christine
It's an argument. Yeah.
Big J Okerson
All right.
Christine
Here is your black piven.
Bobby Kelly
Thank you, sir.
Black Lou
Is there a score?
Big J Okerson
Up to you, three J. Bobby.
Bobby Kelly
Two.
Black Lou
Three black pigs.
Big J Okerson
You feel good now, don't you?
Bobby Kelly
I feel better, yeah.
Christine
Okay. This one is near and dear to my heart.
Bobby Kelly
You understand, Black Lou? I was just balling out so hard today.
Christine
Yes, and you're still killing it.
Big J Okerson
You understand that? I bought Dum Dums a whole bag. Feel free to take as much as you want.
Christine
In what year was interracial marriage legalized, Bobby?
Big J Okerson
1960. It was legalized. 1960. 1969.
Christine
Sorry, that's incorrect.
Bobby Kelly
I was gonna say. I was gonna say. Fingers crossed. 20, 28. What is that happening now?
Big J Okerson
1969 in Boston. It was legalized. I mean, I know. What.
Bobby Kelly
I know it was legal, but it's. It wasn't even. It was decriminalized. Yes.
Big J Okerson
You. You would get stuff thrown at your car.
Bobby Kelly
People aren't psyched about it, but, like, you could do it.
Christine
The year was 1967.
Big J Okerson
I can have a black child.
Bobby Kelly
Ironically, the year Jim Morrison left America and went to France. Coincidence.
Christine
Next question. What is a sundown town?
Black Lou
Robert Kelly.
Christine
That's what it looked like to me. Robert Kelly.
Big J Okerson
A sundown town.
Christine
Yes.
Big J Okerson
It's when the black people had to be back in their homes before the sun went down. It couldn't be on the streets.
Christine
That is absolutely correct.
Big J Okerson
Socket.
Christine
I've been to one.
Big J Okerson
Well, I lived in Boston. It was one.
Bobby Kelly
Bobby's trying to start one in his neighborhood.
Big J Okerson
I actually moved there because they have one.
Bobby Kelly
Bobby's been going over to the town hall meetings and seeing if he could change the rules here a little bit. Guys, I've been thinking. If we all. If we get 20 people to sign this, we can make this a sundown town.
Big J Okerson
Aren't there still, like, we were on.
Bobby Kelly
Tour and I remember.
Big J Okerson
You saw. I forget where you were. There's still, like, crazy sundown town signs up.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, it's all the places I sent you, all the Zillow listings I sent you around the country.
Big J Okerson
Yeah.
Bobby Kelly
That's why Bobby keeps pushing Batavia, New York, so much. Or Batavia, Illinois, so much. Because you should go there, dude. It's pretty crazy because there's no black people to show. He goes. They're not allowed to be.
Big J Okerson
What's that?
Christine
You got your pivot, right?
Big J Okerson
Of course I did. Absolutely, my brother.
Christine
All right, this is our last question before we get to the culture. Questions that are worth two points. This one will be worth one. What document did President Lincoln sign that declared enslaved people in the Confederate States free.
Big J Okerson
I got it.
Christine
Was that Bobby?
Bobby Kelly
I don't know who I answered.
Black Lou
I thought Jay answered.
Big J Okerson
Okay.
Christine
All right, Jay.
Bobby Kelly
Emancipation Proclamation.
Christine
That is correct, my black brother. Black pivot coming your way.
Black Lou
This is a 2, 2 pivot round coming up.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, but, I mean, Christine's so freaked out that I'm an athlete and a scholar.
Black Lou
Can I say this? What are you, a righty or lefty?
Big J Okerson
I'm righty. I jerk off my left hand. I write with my right hand.
Black Lou
I feel like you should be using your dominant hand because it's gonna hit the button faster.
Big J Okerson
Jay just sniffed my fingers and said, yeah, you're right.
Bobby Kelly
It's a little bleachy.
Big J Okerson
I. I can't.
Black Lou
What do you mean?
Big J Okerson
This is. I'm. I'm ambidextrous.
Black Lou
Okay?
Big J Okerson
I just.
Black Lou
I. Drummer talking.
Big J Okerson
Here's the thing, is that I have a. A tick with buttons. So if I have to push something, my brain goes. Now, like, Jay does this. I do this. I have a hiccup. I have the yips with a button. Yeah.
Christine
All right, all right.
Big J Okerson
I just made that up.
Christine
Can I get a score check from. Score check from Sister Christine.
Big J Okerson
Four to three. Four to three.
Christine
J. Three.
Bobby Kelly
Four.
Big J Okerson
Bobby. Three. All right, I had that.
Christine
These are 2.2 pivin questions.
Big J Okerson
Okay?
Christine
All right. I want you to open your mind here. Culture. Ready?
Bobby Kelly
Yeah.
Christine
Translate this acronym correctly. This is something your mother would say to you if you were late for curfew or there was some action going on outside. And I'll read it letter by letter. You guys can see it on the screen. But I want the audience to be able to understand. The acronym is G Y, B A, I, T, G, D, H, R, N, B, I, B, Y.
Bobby Kelly
We should give us pens. We should be able to. Oh, it's up there. It's up there.
Christine
Mfa. Take a little minute to think about it, reread it, and I'll read it again. This is something your mother would say to you if you were late for curfew or there was some action going on outside.
Black Lou
I got 10 of those.
Christine
I got it.
Bobby Kelly
Jay, get your. What's the. For ass. Get your. Get your black ass in the goddamn house right now before I beat your motherfucking ass.
Big J Okerson
I mean, wow. I mean, that's years of black hanging out with black people in Philly.
Black Lou
Very impressive.
Christine
Two pivins going to you, my friend.
Big J Okerson
God damn it. That was. Man, that was holy.
Black Lou
That was great.
Big J Okerson
That I actually made me swallow my heart. I was like, please don't say the N word on the end. On the end. Please don't.
Bobby Kelly
Wow.
Christine
I'm. That's. I'm shocked right now. Fantastic.
Big J Okerson
That was amazing.
Bobby Kelly
That was great.
Big J Okerson
That was really good.
Christine
Next question.
Big J Okerson
You've heard that from your friend's mom.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah.
Big J Okerson
That was like a memory muscle right there. Good.
Christine
Next question. Translate this acronym correctly to prove, you know black culture. When black people are telling the 100 truth, they say, T, O, E, I, L. I'll read it again. When black people are telling the truth, they say, T, O, E, I, L.
Bobby Kelly
Had a hard time with this one. Yeah, this is a tougher one. When they're telling the truth.
Black Lou
Big J okerson.
Christine
Big J okerson.
Bobby Kelly
That's on everything I love.
Christine
Wow.
Big J Okerson
God.
Black Lou
No idea what that was.
Christine
Two Pivens coming your way.
Big J Okerson
What is it? What is it?
Christine
That's on everything I love. I swear. I swear.
Big J Okerson
Fuck does that mean?
Christine
I swear I didn't fuck that girl, bro. That's on everything I love. I swear.
Big J Okerson
What the fuck is that?
Black Lou
Use that in the sentence.
Big J Okerson
That's on everything I love.
Christine
That's on everything I love.
Bobby Kelly
I would never. I would never betray you. And that's on everything I love.
Big J Okerson
I've never, ever heard any. But I. Wow.
Christine
It's the black version of Swear to God. I swear to God, bro.
Bobby Kelly
Wow.
Big J Okerson
That was good, man. That was pretty great. I mean, this is a little unfair. I mean, you. You were mainly black for 15 years of your life.
Bobby Kelly
True.
Big J Okerson
I've been solidly white my whole life.
Bobby Kelly
You have?
Big J Okerson
I had. I had. Patrice was the only black friend I had for a long time.
Bobby Kelly
And now, desperately, you cling on to buying shoes every week just so black black people will look twice at you.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, that's true.
Bobby Kelly
What is. What is Bobby's behavior?
Christine
All right, here's our last question of the quiz.
Big J Okerson
I mean, you win, but for pride.
Christine
For pride.
Big J Okerson
You should make the last question.
Bobby Kelly
Last question for 10 pivins.
Big J Okerson
You should make the last question 10 pivots.
Christine
Okay. 10 pivens.
Big J Okerson
That way I could pull it out.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, of course. I mean, you.
Black Lou
Cheese.
Big J Okerson
So I cheated once.
Bobby Kelly
No. Maybe not here, but I don't know. I'm not even looking for it. When Joe dropped his guard for five seconds, you swooped in, cheated.
Big J Okerson
I didn't. Oh, my God.
Bobby Kelly
What?
Big J Okerson
I didn't cheat.
Bobby Kelly
Oh.
Big J Okerson
I didn't cheat.
Bobby Kelly
Okay.
Big J Okerson
Why can't you just be a good winner?
Bobby Kelly
I haven't won yet.
Big J Okerson
Well, don't be scared. You're probably going to win.
Christine
All right, here we Go. Last question of the quiz.
Big J Okerson
I like your black confidence. Eight J. Bobby, three.
Christine
Okay, so Bobby can still steal this.
Big J Okerson
Christine just wants him to win so she can have the N word in the closet and use it. 1.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, Christine, that's the first thing I want in our floor safe. There's no cash in here. Just a one N word. Pass. I'm saving it for a big day. It's gonna be that when I quit smoking, one cigarette a match.
Big J Okerson
When I finally dumped jam, I'd be like, you know what I'm sleeping with.
Christine
Ready? This legendary black comedian was a competitive swimmer and as a teenager competed against Kobe Bryant in summer basketball camp before starting his career as a shoe salesman. He's now a third degree dragon black belt in karate and has in. Has been in over 50, 50 major movies. Who is this legendary black comedian?
Bobby Kelly
Read it one more time.
Christine
Absolutely. This legendary black comedian was a competitive swimmer and as a teenager competed against Kobe Bryant in summer basketball camp before starting his career as a shoe salesman. He's now a third degree dragon black belt in karate and has been in over 50 major movies.
Big J Okerson
Is he still alive?
Christine
Jay, your answer.
Big J Okerson
Is he still alive?
Christine
Yes.
Bobby Kelly
Jimmy Martinez.
Christine
I'm sorry, that's incorrect.
Black Lou
Is this Castile?
Bobby Kelly
You have to be.
Christine
Absolutely. Go ahead.
Big J Okerson
Cat Williams.
Christine
I'm sorry, that's incorrect.
Big J Okerson
I said Cat Williams Jr. Cat Williams Sr. Converse.
Bobby Kelly
Keith Robinson.
Big J Okerson
Cat Williams. His name is Steven Williams. Stephen Williams.
Bobby Kelly
Cat Robinson.
Big J Okerson
Jeremiah Johnson.
Bobby Kelly
Keith Williams.
Big J Okerson
Diddy. Pity Hurricane.
Bobby Kelly
Dave Temple.
Big J Okerson
Earthquake.
Bobby Kelly
What's the other guys Bobby hangs out with sometimes?
Big J Okerson
Tony Woods.
Bobby Kelly
Tony Woods. Oh, Dave Chappelle.
Big J Okerson
Dave Edwards. Yamanika.
Bobby Kelly
Definitely Yamaneka. I double down. I double. I second. Yamaneka.
Big J Okerson
Yamanika. Yamanika will split the points. Jay will win, but I'll double.
Bobby Kelly
Okay, final answer. Yamanika.
Christine
Sorry, that's incorrect. Jay, I honestly thought you would have this one. The person we were talking about, legendary comedian Kevin Hart.
Big J Okerson
What? He's a black belt?
Bobby Kelly
No, he's not a black belt. And he didn't grow up swimming either. He sinks like a fucking rock. Why is his whole life full of lies? He's giving him a be at the super bowl. High fiving Eagles players. He's not an Eagles fan.
Black Lou
He also played basketball with Kobe Bryant.
Bobby Kelly
I played basketball with Kobe Bryant. No, no. Kevin Hart. No, he. Oh, I thought it was swimming with him.
Big J Okerson
He played with him at a summer camp, like, as friends.
Bobby Kelly
Nope. No. What.
Big J Okerson
What is.
Bobby Kelly
Because that's my. I played with him after school.
Big J Okerson
You can't. You can't base this on Jason, he.
Bobby Kelly
Can'T take that story from me.
Black Lou
Yes.
Big J Okerson
Did he there?
Bobby Kelly
Huh?
Big J Okerson
Was he there too?
Bobby Kelly
No. At the Jewish community center in my neighborhood in West Philadelphia.
Big J Okerson
Well, Puppy Brian was there.
Christine
He was there.
Bobby Kelly
I know, but it was because it was a place, indoor place to play basketball in.
Big J Okerson
This question was based on lies.
Bobby Kelly
It's based off lies.
Black Lou
Well, the Kevin Hart biography.
Bobby Kelly
This sure was a crazy black game. All right, do we have full of lies and hoodwinking?
Christine
We do have a winner. Our winner today is Big J. Okerson, Black History King.
Black Lou
Some of the very impressive answers.
Christine
Now, Jay, please take your very, very large N word pass home.
Bobby Kelly
You know what? Just hang on to it. I'll use it now. Nope, put it back in the prize closet. I'll hit it right now and get it up with.
Big J Okerson
Can I buy that off you for $1,000?
Bobby Kelly
You should bring this in with you when you go to see Isabella in court. I don't know. I had this and I didn't even.
Christine
Use it for you and your new house. Stubbs, one of my favorite seasonings. Stubbs seasoning.
Big J Okerson
What do you put that on? Chicken.
Christine
Chicken.
Bobby Kelly
It is pretty funny that it's a chicken rub. I mean that's very funny that it's a black. Because Stubbs, you wouldn't think they'd be giving chicken seasoning. It's a barbecue place.
Christine
Now Bobby, you're not gonna go home empty handed. Absolutely. I have two smaller N word passes for you. Only valid in Harlem. So here you go.
Bobby Kelly
I'd like to there be a smaller one where you give it to somebody where they can just say the word N word. Like, just like. Because you're allowed to say N word without people getting uncomfortable.
Big J Okerson
Now let me ask you a question. Do I have to mumble this or can I say it full out?
Christine
Yeah, you say it full out.
Big J Okerson
It's one says only valid SiriusXM and the other one says valid in Boston.
Christine
Correct.
Big J Okerson
Okay. Now I mean Boston, this is only.
Bobby Kelly
Valid in Harlem and Camden.
Big J Okerson
It says I really don't need this. We could change this to maybe.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, I think that's actually on the. I think that's actually on the welcome to Boston side.
Big J Okerson
I mean I've got. I've got 7,000 thousand of these at my grandmother's house.
Christine
And lastly, Bobby, just in case you catch yourself in the wrong hood at the wrong time, I got you a do rag.
Bobby Kelly
Tied on.
Christine
You just keep it in your car. Just in case I say wear it right now.
Bobby Kelly
I say it all times. You keep this on you just you know, Bobby, when you're feeling cool. Wait, don't even tie it yet. Just pull it over your head. Let me see it from the front. That didn't go the way I was hoping.
Black Lou
You look like Daredevil when it's sometimes.
Bobby Kelly
Sometimes like cool people like Method man would just do this sometimes. Just let it hang like that. But that's not what we're gonna do. We're gonna do you right. I think.
Christine
Jay is trying to put the durag onto Bobby's head. Tying it correctly. I see. This guy really is black.
Big J Okerson
Is that police, Dave? It says warning Bobby. Please go to the cellar with that on. I got Benny Show.
Bobby Kelly
Did I do it right, Lou?
Christine
Absolutely. It looks fantastic.
Big J Okerson
I'm going to Benning Show. What's up, son? Yo, man, second place is just as good as first place if you got two of the N words on the side. My son.
Bobby Kelly
What's up, second player. Same as first place if you don't know how to count.
Big J Okerson
Congratulations, my brother.
Bobby Kelly
Thank you, my man.
Christine
Thank you guys for playing.
Big J Okerson
Thank you for having blues.
Black Lou
What a game.
Big J Okerson
What a game is this. Do we get to play more? Can we do it more?
Bobby Kelly
Is there a home version? Luke, can you tell us about the home version of the game, please? And tell Bobby no one goes home empty handed. Paco, tell them where we're going.
Christine
Jay, I'm going to leave the black Pivens here for you. Just in case you want to give some out today.
Bobby Kelly
You'd be surprised. Those black Pivens, they really are fun.
Big J Okerson
Oh, black pivots have a nice feel to them.
Bobby Kelly
I know. And they dance better.
Black Lou
We should take a break now, okay?
Big J Okerson
We gotta take a break.
Bobby Kelly
You bully. We will take a break right now. We'll be right back, everyone. It's soul brother number one, Big J Okerson. And I'm Robert Kelly.
Big J Okerson
It's the bonfire, yo, motherfucker.
Bobby Kelly
Free fries Friday. Three great words. Especially in that exact order.
Big J Okerson
Get a free medium fries with $1 minimum purchase. Valid one time on Fridays at participating McDonald's through 12 31, 25.
Bobby Kelly
Excludes text. Must opt into rewards.
Katie Nolan
Hi, I'm Katie Nolan from the Internet and cable tv. Or as your mom called me, that sports gal from Celebrity Jeopardy. I have a new podcast called Casuals. It's a podcast for people who like sports a normal amount. No stats or spreadsheets, nary an X or O to be found. Just laid back casual banter about home runs, hockey fights and good old fashioned drama. Casuals is a twice a week hang with me. And my friends from across comedy, sports and entertainment where we talk about all the funny, weird, interesting stuff happening in and around the world of sports. Think of it as all the best things about sports with none of the homework. So whether you're a die hard fan or vaguely sports curious, Casuals is the podcast for you. You can find casuals on the SiriusXM app Pandora or wherever you get your podcasts. And don't forget to smash that follow button. That way you'll never miss an episode. Just try it. You can always un smash it.
Podcast Summary: The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly – Episode: Black History Quiz
Release Date: February 13, 2025
Overview
In the "Black History Quiz" episode of The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly, hosts Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly, alongside their friend Black Lou, engage listeners in a lively and humorous exploration of Black History Month. The episode seamlessly blends comedic banter with an interactive quiz segment, celebrating African American culture and history while entertaining their audience with sharp wit and candid conversations.
Host Banter and Personal Anecdotes
The episode kicks off with the hosts exchanging playful jabs and sharing personal stories. Early in the conversation, Big Jay recounts his experience of being pulled over by the police, revealing both his comedic and reflective sides.
Big Jay Oakerson [02:03]: "I was speeding on the sawmill, which is fucking ridiculous... I was on the phone talking. I don't know who the fuck I was talking to."
Robert Kelly [04:03]: "She gave me the whole... Look how important you think you are. And look, you have a pussy. It's right in front of me."
The discussion highlights the tension and absurdity of interactions with law enforcement, blending humor with underlying social commentary.
Further into the episode, the camaraderie between Big Jay and Robert is evident as they reminisce about past episodes and collaborations.
Big Jay Oakerson [07:01]: "We were in the business for 25, 30 years together. How could it go bad?"
Robert Kelly [07:18]: "Fantastic episode. One of the best shows yet."
Their mutual respect and shared history set a warm, engaging tone for the episode.
Black History Quiz Segment
The centerpiece of the episode is the "Black History Month Pop Quiz," designed to test the hosts' knowledge of African American history and culture. Christine, the show's announcer, introduces the rules and oversees the game, adding structure to the otherwise freewheeling conversation.
Each correct answer rewards the participants with "black pivens," a humorous take on traditional points systems, while incorrect answers invite more banter and teasing.
Notable Questions and Answers:
Why is Black History Month celebrated in February?
What was Black History Month previously called?
Who played Malcolm X in the 1992 film Malcolm X?
Describe the color of Jesus's skin according to the Holy Bible.
Throughout the quiz, the hosts mix factual responses with humorous misconceptions, fostering an entertaining and educational environment.
Big Jay Oakerson [34:00]: "Nat Turner's revolt was the Black Panthers." (Incorrect Answer)
Robert Kelly [37:16]: "Grace Jones." (Incorrect for Tyra Banks)
The final question about Kevin Hart stumps the hosts, leading to playful frustration and further comedic exchanges.
Cultural Insights:
The quiz not only tests knowledge but also delves into deeper cultural discussions, such as the significance of sundown towns and the contributions of historical figures like Rosa Parks and George Washington Carver.
These moments emphasize the show's commitment to honoring Black history while maintaining its signature humor.
Conclusion and Prizes
Following the quiz, the hosts celebrate their participation with playful awards and prizes. Big Jay Oakerson emerges as the winner, earning the coveted "N word pass" and additional props like a do-rag, symbolizing cultural pride and solidarity.
The prize distribution is handled with the same humor and camaraderie that permeates the episode, bringing the segment to a satisfying close.
Closing Remarks:
The episode wraps up with a mix of final jokes, listener appreciation, and hints at future segments, leaving listeners eagerly anticipating the next episode.
Notable Quotes
Big Jay Oakerson [25:02]: "Racism is a bitch... But what it does to black people is a bitch."
Robert Kelly [25:39]: "There is not a black America and a white America and Latino America and Asian America. There's the United States of America. Are we ready? Let's get busy. Go."
Big Jay Oakerson [41:47]: "Exactly. Black Jesus."
These quotes capture the show's blend of humor, social commentary, and cultural pride, encapsulating the essence of The Bonfire.
Conclusion
"The Black History Quiz" episode of The Bonfire successfully balances humor with meaningful discussions about African American history and culture. Through engaging quizzes, personal stories, and sharp banter, Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly create an entertaining and insightful experience that honors Black History Month while keeping listeners thoroughly entertained.