Blind Dogs Live In Nashville

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly Episode: Blind Dogs Live In Nashville
Release Date: April 16, 2025

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Introduction

In this vibrant episode of The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly, hosted live from Nashville, Tennessee, the veteran comedians dive into an array of humorous and candid conversations. Despite the backdrop of the Nashville Comedy Festival, the hosts navigate through seating challenges, guest interactions, and amusing anecdotes with their trademark blunt humor and unfiltered honesty.

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Setting the Scene

The episode kicks off with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly addressing the unusual seating arrangement at the Nashville Comedy Festival. Both hosts express their discomfort sitting unusually low compared to the audience, setting the tone for a lighthearted and self-deprecating session.

• Big J Oakerson (01:39): "I feel like a little person."
• Christine (02:01): "It looks disrespectful the way we're talking to him."

This initial banter highlights the hosts' ability to turn minor inconveniences into comedic material, engaging listeners with relatable humor.

---

The Low Seating and Comedic Jabs

As the conversation unfolds, Big Jay and Robert exchange playful jabs about their seating position and attire, further showcasing their chemistry and comedic timing.

• Big J Oakerson (01:28): "I like the small talk. Nice shorts. Oh, those are pants. She just has holes all the way down the knees."
• Christine (02:01): "We're way low in these chairs."

Their interactions reflect a seamless blend of observational comedy and personal anecdotes, making the episode both entertaining and engaging for listeners.

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Interaction with Guest Jacob and His Microphone

A significant portion of the episode revolves around their guest, Jacob, who humorously struggles with his glowing microphone. The hosts and Christine rib Jacob about his microphone's quirks, leading to a series of comedic exchanges about its functionality and Jacob's challenges.

• Jacob (07:19): "I need money to get home."
• Big J Oakerson (06:19): "I feel so terrible. I thought you guys were dating."

The playful teasing not only adds humor but also builds a dynamic rapport among the hosts and guests, keeping the conversation lively and unpredictable.

---

Attempted Interaction with Kid Rock

A recurring theme in the episode is the hosts' humorous attempts to connect with Kid Rock. They recount past interactions, highlighting their failed endeavors to befriend the musician, which serves as a running gag throughout the show.

• Christine (04:07): "I have sex with your mother, but I ain't your dad."
• Big J Oakerson (20:24): "This was gonna be awesome."

Their stories about trying to engage with Kid Rock are filled with exaggerated frustrations and comedic relief, providing listeners with amusing insights into the challenges of celebrity interactions.

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Q&A with the Audience

Midway through the episode, the hosts open the floor to audience questions, leading to a spirited and humorous Q&A session. Questions range from personal anecdotes to playful provocations, allowing Big Jay, Robert, and Jacob to showcase their quick wit and improvisational skills.

• John (40:37): "Does Bobby have any lingering effects after breaking his knee in Iraq?"
• Big J Oakerson (40:41): "I never broke my knee in Iraq. I broke my knee playing flag football in Niagara."

The dynamic exchange not only entertains but also provides a platform for the hosts to engage directly with their listeners, enhancing the interactive nature of the show.

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Closing Remarks and Teasers

As the episode nears its end, the hosts tease upcoming segments and hint at surprises for future episodes. They reflect on the day's events, reiterate their commitment to bringing humor and honesty to their audience, and sign off with a promise of more entertainment to come.

• Big J Oakerson (62:54): "It's not Kid Rock, but it's gonna be better."
• Christine (63:42): "I'll tell you. It's not Kid Rock."

This closing segment reinforces the show's ongoing themes of spontaneity and unpredictability, leaving listeners anticipating future episodes.

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Concluding Thoughts

Blind Dogs Live In Nashville is a quintessential episode of The Bonfire, encapsulating the essence of Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly's comedic prowess. Through a blend of self-deprecation, guest interactions, and audience engagement, the episode offers a rich and entertaining experience for both regular listeners and newcomers alike. Notable quotes and humorous exchanges punctuate the conversation, making it a memorable addition to the show's repertoire.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Big J Oakerson (01:39): "I feel like a little person."
• Christine (02:01): "It looks disrespectful the way we're talking to him."
• Big J Oakerson (20:24): "This was gonna be awesome."
• Jacob (07:19): "I need money to get home."
• Christine (04:07): "I have sex with your mother, but I ain't your dad."
• Big J Oakerson (40:41): "I never broke my knee in Iraq. I broke my knee playing flag football in Niagara."
• Big J Oakerson (62:54): "It's not Kid Rock, but it's gonna be better."
• Christine (63:42): "I'll tell you. It's not Kid Rock."

These moments capture the show's humor and the hosts' ability to engage listeners through sharp dialogue and relatable scenarios.

Transcript

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[Christine]

And now the bonfire with.

[Big J Okerson]

Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly live from the SiriusXM studios in Nashville.

[Christine]

Bobby, I'm so glad you're willing to ham.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm. I. I'm a big ham. I like the ham, you know, I like the small talk. Nice shorts. Oh, those are pants. She just has holes all the way down the knees.

[Christine]

Are you okay?

[Big J Okerson]

No, I'm not. I'm not. I feel like we're sitting way too low.

[Christine]

We are sitting really weirdly low. This is.

[Big J Okerson]

I feel like a little person.

[Christine]

I didn't think it was going to be so low, but we're so much lower than the audience and almost. It looks disrespectful the way we're talking to him. I feel like, you know the problem? I have sex with your mother, but I ain't your dad.

[Big J Okerson]

I feel like that guy in the Maxwell tape commercial. Those two old guys got that joke.

[Christine]

They did. Welcome, everybody to the bonfire live in Nashville, Tennessee for the Nashville Comedy Festival fashion talk series XM 103. I'm Big J Okerson. That's the great Robert Kelly. And we are way low in these chairs.

[Big J Okerson]

It is really small. Look how big you guys look.

[Christine]

To us, it's comfy as, but I feel like it's almost too comfortable for broadcasting.

[Big J Okerson]

It is.

[Christine]

Hey, how was your day today? I don't know.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, it's like when you go in for an audition, they have that couch that just sucks the life out of you. That's what this feels like right now.

[Christine]

Are you trying to connect with a room full of people who have never auditioned for anything in their life? Guys you know, it's like the hustle bustle.

[Big J Okerson]

You've auditioned for things. Insurance commercials.

[Christine]

Have you auditioned for things, sir?

[Big J Okerson]

Yes. What'd you do?

[Christine]

What was it? Captain America. Civil Wars, Winter Soldier.

[Big J Okerson]

But not for that. Either one of those.

[Christine]

Me and you had the same confusion. I thought he was saying he was up for the role of Captain America. Oh, no, wait. The Winter Soldier. And I'm like, either of those doesn't make sense.

[Big J Okerson]

Were you Captain America at the last one when he was old and he came back, you a fat captain. Oh, that's cool.

[Christine]

Well, you were going to be a Captain America.

[Big J Okerson]

No, you were an extra. Oh, you're in the background. You were somebody that Captain America might save. Really? Or were you? You're not even that. You were somebody in the background that got smushed by a building.

[Christine]

Did you get the part? Oh, hey there. Hi. Christine. I'm somehow in the final cut. The director's cut, or I'm in the background? Christine, the actor. Sit on his lap when he talks.

[Big J Okerson]

Please stop. Don't do that. I think that's his boyfriend next to him. You don't want to fucking cockblock. Well, that's weird, too.

[Christine]

What he meant was, your son has a boyfriend. Definitely.

[Big J Okerson]

Thank you.

[Christine]

Yeah, my gay daughter.

[Big J Okerson]

That's your son? I feel so terrible. I thought you guys were dating. Not yet. All right, well, there you go.

[Christine]

But that is his daddy.

[Big J Okerson]

These chairs are too low, dude.

[Christine]

They're way too low. I'm trying to keep my spirits up here in Nashville. Once again, I've come down. I keep lying to myself and saying, I don't care if I become best friends with Kid Rock. I keep telling myself I don't care. The first couple years, I told you I did care. And we tried. And me and Bobby, historically, if you don't know, failed together at trying to become friends with Kid Rock. The last time I did the show at the Ryman with Bobby, we went over to his bar, and afterwards, he took me by the arm and said, jake goes, come here. I want to talk to you. And we took about 15 steps to get where he wanted to talk. And in those 15 steps, I was like, I'm gonna cut him off immediately and tell him everything. Every time I've ever seen him. And how much I love him is probably how he wants to start this conversation. And then he did. He turned around, and I was like, I saw you the first time at this place, and you were great here. And then you play all the instruments and the midget and blah, blah, the.

[Big J Okerson]

Most uncomfortable thing I've ever seen you do. And when I was watching him go. And then I did this, and then I did that, and I saw you here and I saw you there, and I was just like, what the fuck is happening?

[Christine]

Can I smell your hat? What did you. Can I braid your hair? I fucking queef down on him real hard.

[Big J Okerson]

It was so fucked up how you went total fucking queef. That fat. You went from the coolest guy I know at the Ryman kicking ass to a fanboy in around 25 minutes.

[Christine]

Made everybody around us uncomfortable. And then Bobby goes, I'll save it.

[Big J Okerson]

I will.

[Christine]

Because he saw Kid Rock was smoking a cigar. Bobby's a cigar guy. Yep, Bobby's the cigar guy.

[Big J Okerson]

I had two of my favorite cigars ever. And very expensive cigars. People who know cigars are like, this is the Bobby.

[Christine]

I had the Bobby. You're underselling. You brought one of those cigars. You brought one.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, I smoked one. Yeah, I had one left.

[Christine]

Oh, okay. But it was. These were your cigars for the night, for you, for your jam.

[Big J Okerson]

This was the. This was like, I'm going to smoke this. And after all this shit that went down, I'll at least have this rolled.

[Christine]

By real Amazon fucking bush people.

[Big J Okerson]

No, that's not true. That's not true.

[Christine]

Children.

[Big J Okerson]

No, not children.

[Christine]

Children of slaves.

[Big J Okerson]

No slaves were involved in rolling my fucking cigars, dude. It was.

[Christine]

You don't know that for sure, though.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know that for sure.

[Christine]

But does it feel. Does it smoke? Like the sweet taste of slavery.

[Big J Okerson]

I feel like we're so low that the people in the front row are only laughing, and the people in the back are like. I can't say them.

[Christine]

The people in the back might not be able to see us.

[Big J Okerson]

We need to get in stools, dude. I don't think this is gonna fucking world, right?

[Robert Kelly]

Do you want to switch seats now?

[Big J Okerson]

Yes, we do. We need to switch seats.

[Christine]

Shut the up, Chris.

[Big J Okerson]

Don't talk to her.

[Christine]

Like, did you see that energy, though? She goes, now maybe.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I know. Now maybe. Well, there's a big thing of glass. You might want to smush your face against it.

[Christine]

I would take chairs the same height as everybody else.

[Big J Okerson]

Here we go.

[Christine]

There's too high for. Bobby's gonna get hurt.

[Big J Okerson]

That's not too high for me. I'm fine with that.

[Christine]

What if Bobby comes down?

[Big J Okerson]

I don't like. Dang. Oh, this is so much better. Jay, come up here with me, dude.

[Christine]

I don't know. I like this. Come On.

[Big J Okerson]

You can see everybody. There's some hot chicks over there. It's not just a bunch of dudes and couples.

[Christine]

You don't know that.

[Big J Okerson]

Hey, you want to get off your phone? You listen. This guy's on his phone.

[Christine]

He also spent money on a Rich Voss shirt. He makes a lot of mistakes.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, Rich Voss is a legend.

[Christine]

Talked you into buying it. That adds up. Where the fuck is Jacob?

[Big J Okerson]

I need money to get home. Can you buy one more shirt before.

[Christine]

I talk any more about this kid? Rock my fucking world. Falling the pieces again. Where is Jacob?

[Big J Okerson]

It says his name right there.

[Christine]

I know. We see Black Lou. Black Lou, what's up?

[Jacob]

See me?

[Christine]

There you go, Jacob. What's going on, guys? What's up, Black Lou?

[Big J Okerson]

Why are you speaking into a lantern again?

[Jacob]

I have to stay exactly like this.

[Christine]

Lou, is it uncomfortable letting all these white people into your black home like this? It's got to be very disarming.

[Big J Okerson]

What are you talking about? Isn't his relatives white?

[Christine]

Yeah, that was a joke. Everyone around him is white.

[Big J Okerson]

Sorry about that.

[Christine]

Lou's the Lou lives in that house. And the neighbors call the cops on him three times a week for breaking into the house. I have a key.

[Big J Okerson]

Jacob's microphone is glowing. What?

[Christine]

Jacob, that's not a microphone. That's a diffuser.

[Jacob]

Yeah, it's not cool looking, but yeah, that's.

[Big J Okerson]

That's a little girl podcast microphone you got.

[Jacob]

It is a pod.

[Christine]

Jacob, are you talking into it right now?

[Jacob]

I am.

[Big J Okerson]

Why?

[Jacob]

Jacob, I know you can hear me. Don't bullshit me.

[Big J Okerson]

Jake, Jake. Jake.

[Christine]

Come on, dude. Is that real?

[Jacob]

Jacob, I'm not falling for this.

[Christine]

Is he fucking around?

[Big J Okerson]

Is he messing around? Can you guys hear him?

[Christine]

Hang on. He's in orbit. Jacob, it might be a sun flare.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay, fine. It's coming back on.

[Jacob]

Ready?

[Big J Okerson]

I think Jacob's microphone is attached to his heart. It keeps.

[Christine]

What is that thing? It's like. Yeah, it's like ET's chest.

[Big J Okerson]

Why did you get that microphone?

[Jacob]

Because I had to.

[Christine]

What do you mean you had to?

[Big J Okerson]

You didn't have to get one that lights up like Lord of the Rings.

[Jacob]

Yeah, it was the one they had.

[Christine]

You look like an old creep Fortnite player that fucking youtubes. Jacob, do me a favor. Go get one of the dolls and show the live audience one of the creepy dolls in the room. Yes.

[Jacob]

I don't want to do that.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, you do.

[Christine]

You got to go get the scariest one.

[Big J Okerson]

Come on, get it.

[Christine]

Get the one that you woke up in the middle of the Night last night. And it was staring at you.

[Jacob]

I'm dreary. I'm dealing with a lot down here this week.

[Christine]

What's that?

[Jacob]

Aside from the. Well, the tots have been going through a little. Aside from the dolls. My dog had his eyeballs removed.

[Christine]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

What? From the dolls?

[Jacob]

No.

[Christine]

Is it a curse? Wait.

[Jacob]

But it's something you got to get used to.

[Big J Okerson]

Your dog doesn't have eyes.

[Christine]

So why don't you put the dog down?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Kill it.

[Jacob]

Perfectly healthy, buddy.

[Big J Okerson]

I would put my wife down if she lost her eyes.

[Christine]

Oh, my God.

[Big J Okerson]

I think I want to stare into new sockets every day.

[Christine]

I would stay with Christine if she lost her eyes, but I would learn how to cheat very quietly.

[Jacob]

Yeah, it's. Yeah. They remove the dog's eyeballs and then they show the lids shut.

[Big J Okerson]

Hey, can we see the dolls? Can we see the dog's eyes?

[Christine]

Jacob, the dog's not going to know. We're making fun of it. Jacob, bring over your Franken dog.

[Big J Okerson]

Bring him over. Why don't you put that microphone in his eye?

[Christine]

Who the hell taxidermies a dog before it's dead?

[Big J Okerson]

Can't they get a fake dog eyes?

[Jacob]

You know, we were actually looking into those, like, Sammy Davis eyes. But they don't really do that for dogs.

[Christine]

No, you should just fucking. Just make Google eyes, put it on top of the stitches.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, well, you know, I get him a patch on one eye and get him a samurai sword for his back.

[Christine]

How does. Why. How old's the dog?

[Jacob]

He just turned 10.

[Big J Okerson]

What did you do to him?

[Jacob]

No, he. Nothing. He just had a degenerative eye disease. Yet.

[Big J Okerson]

Why are you flowering?

[Jacob]

Yeah, glaucoma. So it got so bad that the pressure was causing him massive headaches.

[Christine]

So the vet said you're telling the story while the beating microphone is going on is. It's insane.

[Jacob]

I can't do anything about the microphone color.

[Christine]

But you could have not got that one.

[Jacob]

I really couldn't have.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm pretty sure you can change that color on that microphone, by the way.

[Christine]

You could definitely make it stop pulsing.

[Jacob]

I'm not touching the microphone.

[Big J Okerson]

Turn. Turn the beat meter off.

[Jacob]

No, I can't do that.

[Big J Okerson]

Why?

[Jacob]

Because Big Jim said, stay still, don't move your head. And that's goddamn what I'm gonna do.

[Christine]

Damn, Jim, you put the fear of God in Jacob. I've never seen that before in him.

[Big J Okerson]

Did Jim threaten to take your eyes out?

[Jacob]

Don't look at the camera. Look at the mic.

[Christine]

Don't look at the camera or your Dog won't be the only one without eyes in that town.

[Big J Okerson]

Did Jim take the dog's eyes out?

[Christine]

Was that a warning? Is the SiriusXM mafia sending a warning to young Jacob? Jacob woke up this morning with the eyes in his bed. What the hell?

[Big J Okerson]

Ooh, Jacob, we're sorry. We didn't know this was gonna happen.

[Christine]

Eyes down.

[Big J Okerson]

Mouth on microphone.

[Jacob]

He T. Rex kind of.

[Big J Okerson]

Don't look at us.

[Jacob]

Sometimes he'll bump into a wall and it'll break your heart.

[Big J Okerson]

Why don't you just put him in a room and leave him there?

[Jacob]

Well, he's getting used to it.

[Christine]

I mean, why don't you put a pillow over his face and cry and say, I love you a bunch?

[Big J Okerson]

Why don't you paint him like iguana and send him in the backyard and then get your BB gun?

[Jacob]

He's doing. Oh, yeah, he's recovering.

[Christine]

No, no, shoot him. He'll never know.

[Big J Okerson]

Buddy, being a blind dog is going to suck. You can't fetch. You don't know where the snacks are.

[Jacob]

He's all right.

[Christine]

Oh, all right. Never mind.

[Jacob]

We project. He just wants to be a. He just wants to eat and sleep well.

[Christine]

Yeah, you took his eyes.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, well, he used to love to.

[Christine]

Look at a window and get excited when someone new came home.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, he can't even bark at the mailman anymore because he doesn't know he's there.

[Jacob]

No, no, you can't do any of that.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, you know what? Maybe. Maybe he'll become. His smell will become better. Like Daredevil.

[Christine]

Yeah. Now I would worry that every time my dog was around me, I'm like, oh, smells cancer.

[Jacob]

He does have daredevil senses. Like, even for a dog, it seems heightened now.

[Christine]

Really? Well, then try to shoot it and see if it dodges it.

[Jacob]

No.

[Christine]

Daredevil style, maybe. Now I like how you're thinking if he did.

[Big J Okerson]

So you can't even take him for walks, right?

[Jacob]

No, no, we. We can take him for walks. He knows, like, he. He feels the difference between the grass and the sidewalk, that type of thing.

[Big J Okerson]

Can you put a little stick on his nose?

[Jacob]

He knows nobody's going to lead him into a fire hydrant. You know what? Because there's a matter of trust.

[Big J Okerson]

You should make it. You should make an Instagram for the dog, the blind dog. You become a fucking millionaire.

[Jacob]

Oh, he's so sweet.

[Big J Okerson]

You got glasses. Did you get him glasses?

[Jacob]

No.

[Christine]

Oh, that'd be great.

[Jacob]

You just got his cone off.

[Christine]

Oh, that'd be awesome. Actually, put like a. A bandana around his eyes and then just tell everybody like it's ninja training or something like that.

[Jacob]

I had a reference, but I didn't think anyone was gonna get it. Like the Beastmaster's father, Remember that, Jay?

[Big J Okerson]

No, the father.

[Christine]

I'm so sorry.

[Jacob]

Said that reference.

[Christine]

My apologies. Well, no one laughed today when I said that Christine dresses like she's lying to people, telling them about a werewolf and a vampire who fight over her when she goes to her dad's house. See, you gotta do the rest though.

[Big J Okerson]

You gotta do the story.

[Christine]

Well, yeah, the story was great. Twilight and then. Yeah, it's.

[Big J Okerson]

No, but do the story. You were being her, be her.

[Christine]

It was pretty great.

[Big J Okerson]

Go ahead.

[Christine]

So anyway, there's this vampire and werewolf that fight over me. Like the werewolf's hotter, but like the vampire is a vampire. And I mean, that's something, right? Right.

[Big J Okerson]

Do think about the. Do a thing about the long war.

[Christine]

So anyway, every time I leave, they rage a centuries long war about. I love it over my hot box. Look at her. She's walking around. She's getting soaked thinking about it.

[Big J Okerson]

She's on the ceiling.

[Christine]

There's no werewolves or vampires fighting over you, Christine.

[Robert Kelly]

Shut up, Jacob.

[Big J Okerson]

Jacob's mike's working on that one.

[Christine]

Yeah, look at that thing.

[Big J Okerson]

Look at that mike glow.

[Jacob]

That was a good one.

[Christine]

Thank you, Jacob.

[Big J Okerson]

God, I hate his microphone more than anything.

[Christine]

It really is. It's something though. It looks like a candles burning.

[Big J Okerson]

It looks like a candle at a shitty Italian restaurant.

[Christine]

Yeah. Are you sitting shabbos while you're talking to us?

[Big J Okerson]

Jacob, you can use that microphone when your dog dies to put near his casket. I'm not going too far. I went too far. That's my thing. I take it. Too far.

[Christine]

But that's why we're here. To let.

[Big J Okerson]

Now we know. We know where not to go.

[Christine]

Now we know.

[Jacob]

My neck is hurting from having to crane to talk into the mic. Exactly like Big Jim says. But I'm not going to let him down.

[Big J Okerson]

Were you practicing all night for Jim?

[Christine]

I mean, you like Larry King, dude. You're all leaned into it. And another thing, look at it. Look at the arms up in the thing. I tell you something, I don't believe this. Right here. Not my president.

[Big J Okerson]

You're going to get suspenders, dude.

[Christine]

Jacob, start wearing suspenders.

[Big J Okerson]

Can I hear your microphone real quick?

[Christine]

Absolutely.

[Big J Okerson]

How you sounds so professional.

[Jacob]

Yeah, he's a voiceover artist. It's that soothing voice. Mine is a voice from hell.

[Christine]

Well, I thought maybe your future microphone can do a little something for that. Yeah, that microphone does blow. It does. Anyway, back to.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, last night was so great. We did the rhyming. We had a plan, though. This time we had a plan. We're gonna go to his thing after his Kentucky. What is it? The. The bar.

[Christine]

The Kid Rock's.

[Big J Okerson]

Kid Rock's bar. Honky tonk bar. And I had this. Now we were telling the story. I went up to him at the.

[Christine]

End after I had already whiffed hard.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, whiffed. It was. I was sitting there watching Jay talk to him. Like, I. I don't want to be his friend anymore.

[Christine]

Like, you shouldn't. He almost. Kid Rock almost gave me an. On the arm. That'll be plenty. And it was disturbing. Yeah. And then Bobby.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, they were leaving, and I see him. He's talking, and I already called him Bob, and he didn't respond.

[Christine]

Bobby's plans to go too familiar. I went, too much. I'm a fan. I showed my ass.

[Big J Okerson]

I seen him take out some dude to Walked over with a cigar, and I'm like, I'm in. I'm the cigar guy. I know what's going on. And I got the. In my bag. Then I'm going to walk up as a cigar guy to a cigar guy. Anybody knows, hey, dude, I. I got this cigar. It's one of my faves. Why don't you. I want to give this to you. And he's going to go, no, really. I'm going, yeah, I want you to have it. Ah, thank you, man. That's cool, man. I love this. This is great.

[Christine]

You thought you were going to get on the back of his ATV and put your arms around his waist. He was going to take you off in the Kid Rockland, dude. He went there.

[Big J Okerson]

He went, yeah, man, I don't smoke. I only smoke these. It's the only cigar I smoke. And I was like, no, but this. This is the. Like, this cigar is like a $60 cigar. And he's like, nah, I don't smoke anything but these. That's all I smoke. That's it. I don't. Thank you, though. Appreciate it. So I'm holding the cigar.

[Christine]

Kid Rock has turned around, and Bobby is now left standing with a cigar like this turn to nobody.

[Big J Okerson]

To nobody. Except his assistant walks over and goes.

[Christine]

You wish it was his assistant. This was some guy who got in.

[Big J Okerson]

Somebody walked. Just walked up and goes, I'll take that. And took my cigar and walked away with my cigar.

[Christine]

Helping you in no way with furthering your relationship with Kid Rock. Kid Rock I got you this cigar. I'm good. I'll take a dipshit. And the guy and I.

[Big J Okerson]

And then I went down the wrong stairs 4 levels. Had to come back up and go through the thing again to go find you guys.

[Christine]

And when you come in and go back out, everyone sees you've done that. So you have to make this face. I don't know. It's an idiot. Just doing around my thing.

[Big J Okerson]

So last night we were there, and I got. I think I have it on me in my bag. I bought Kid Rock cigars. They're called short story Fuentes. I went and I bought them. I bought four of them. I bought the only cigar he smokes. I got ready to go. So Jay's gonna go out, murder. Kid Rock's gonna come back. Fuck Jay. And I'm gonna go, yo, bro.

[Christine]

Oh, hey, you do it every year. Yep. I know. We rarely ever talk, but you do a good job. And Ben, man, you should come in my world, be part of my world now.

[Big J Okerson]

Yep. And I was gonna have the cigars to be like, yo, dude here, he's gonna. My cigars. He's gonna take them. I'm gonna go.

[Christine]

I was gonna be like, I don't even do cigars, dude. But kid, wrong. And then we do this. And then we'd be drinking bourbon and sitting at his. His White House replica.

[Big J Okerson]

Yep.

[Christine]

And we would sit there and we would like, fucking. We'd be like, is that. Is that the midget's ashes? And he'd be like, oh, yeah, it's the midget's ashes. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

I do like a trump impression.

[Christine]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so good.

[Big J Okerson]

But it's so bad that he's like, dude, I like that one the best.

[Christine]

And then I'll be like, where's Uncle Cracker? And then I'll start crying. Like, I don't even talk about it. Hey, dude, it's fine. It's good. We're fine.

[Big J Okerson]

It was gonna be awesome.

[Christine]

It was gonna be so good. That's what it was gonna be.

[Big J Okerson]

And Kid Rock was there. And you guys notice at the Ryman, he sits on the stage to the left. So you're up there, and he's up there, and Everybody's going up. 1F.

[Christine]

The first comic goes up. Fiona kills. Kills Kid Rock sitting on the side of the stage laughing his ass off, leaning forward with laughter.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

She brings up Andrew Dorfman, the owner of Zany's, who does comedy.

[Big J Okerson]

Hasn't done comedy in 10 years. Went up. Did comedy last Night for the first time in years. Yeah, Murdered Kid Rock slapping his knee, popped his hat up a little bit.

[Christine]

Then interesting thing happens before Dorf gets off stage. He goes, hey, where is Bobby? Bobby, get over. Come out here on stage. So he gets Kid Rock to come out on stage and he's like, where's the military? And then the military goes, stand up if you're in the military. And a bunch of people stood up and they turn the lights on and they're like, God bless you guys. You're the reason America, blah, blah, place went nuts. They're gonna go nuts. And then he's getting ready to bring up Dave Smith, who he doesn't know very well, who is a anti war libertarian fucking thing. Dave Smith made me laugh so hard, he leaned over to me and he goes. When the guy was like, stand up, military people. And Dave goes, you're all war criminals.

[Big J Okerson]

But in my. I thought Dave. I thought Dave might have a hard time.

[Christine]

Me too. After that, especially after that moment, Dave went up and killed. Dave did great. It was so good. And Kid Rock over there laughing, and Dave's busting the balls of the crowd and. And Kid Rock's over there laughing his ass off now. I'm like, man, he seems like he's in a good mood over there. Kid Rock, I'm gonna go out there and lay it down right now. And. And Dave brought me the stage. And Christine does have a video of this. We can't put it on the screen.

[Big J Okerson]

I gotta say this, this. I'm watching you kill. And I'm smiling. I'm like, it's happening. We're doing this. Jay's killing. The progression was perfect. And then I'm looking at Jay and then I look over, I look over where Bobby's sitting and nobody's there.

[Christine]

All five people he's with and himself. The chairs straight empty. As I looked over. Now, what I didn't know at the moment was Christine has on tape. She goes, oh, I'm going to film Dave bringing up Jay. And no one knew this until the video got watched back. As soon as Dave Smith goes, Jay Okerson, everybody. Kid Rock and all his people just got up and walked off the fucking stage, everybody.

[Big J Okerson]

They literally went like this, yeah, yeah, let's do it. And they took off. Jay was up there killing, killing. And at one point, he looked over to see.

[Christine]

See, I was the middle of a sentence. I went. And you know, that's when you have to. Where the fuck that kid? Are you kidding? I was like, I'm drinking Coors Light. There's no trannies in these mountains.

[Big J Okerson]

But he came back.

[Christine]

Yeah. I said at the end of my set, I have a bit that I start, and I go, I think if you give kids hormones or gender reassignment, you should go to jail. And Kid Rock went. He sat right down on the side of the stage. I'm like, it's gonna be a joke. Settle down, you fucking psycho.

[Big J Okerson]

So needless to say, Kid Rock's not here. He's not here. We thought we were gonna get him. We swear to God we were gonna get him last night. And he was gon today out of the. The friendship that we created last night. And he was going to come in today.

[Christine]

The guy doesn't keep having me do the show.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Because he doesn't like me. And then I also found out last night, festival books, the show. Kid Rock's nothing do with it. Doesn't give a shit who's on it at all. Damn. But I have a picture.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, thank you so much, you lovely vampire.

[Christine]

No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, she's a whore for vampires.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, sorry. Vampire whore. Which is somehow harder, huh? A hotter. That's hotter.

[Christine]

If a vampire offered to turn you so you live forever, would you do it?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Like, wait a minute. I had to be, like, a woman vampire or I had to be with a guy vampire. It doesn't matter.

[Christine]

Well, they bite you, I hope you know it's not a sexual transmitted thing, vampirism. Do you know that?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, but you get to look at each other sexy a lot.

[Christine]

No? Absolutely. Until one of you gets old. But you get turned to a vampire, do you turn dawn, or do you let her die and then start again?

[Big J Okerson]

You think I'm gonna turn a woman in menopause forever to be like that?

[Christine]

You do. Gotta get them young, I guess, huh?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, you gotta get him in their 20s, 27, 30. I want their hopes and dreams to be dead, but have no menopause. So it's between the 30 and the 38.

[Christine]

Dude, if I was Joe Gatto, that's what I would say about those girls. Like, those girls were 20. I go, no, they were vampires. They were turned when they were 20. In 1868. In 1868, they were 20 years old. This woman's 2,000 years old. Sir, excuse me. You are her. You are a child to her. Have you met my child bride, the Highlander? You don't turn her, so she stays with you forever.

[Big J Okerson]

No, I don't, my Dawn. No, I mean, I love Don. I love Don. So Much.

[Christine]

In this lifetime.

[Big J Okerson]

In this lifetime, which is around 25 more years.

[Christine]

Oh, my God. How much weight do you think you lost?

[Big J Okerson]

You think I'm dying sooner than 25 years?

[Christine]

Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[Christine]

I think I got 10 maybe.

[Big J Okerson]

Buddy, I. First of all, I don't smoke, cigarettes or drink or do any drugs at all.

[Christine]

So it's even. It's got to be so much sadder that you're gonna die young. You could've just done all those things. Probably had a similar outcome.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm gonna live. I'm gonna live, probably. My grandfather lived 101. My grandmother lived to 96.

[Christine]

Right?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

So I have a 1970s through 80s Robert De Niro like weight fluctuation.

[Big J Okerson]

My grandma was fat, if that's what you're asking.

[Christine]

She had diabetes till she was 101.

[Big J Okerson]

No, she was 96. She had diabetes.

[Christine]

Diabetes, yeah, she had diabetes, but she had a boring diet.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, she did have a. What the. Yeah.

[Christine]

Why do you want to live that long if everything's just boring?

[Big J Okerson]

Well, I'd like to live a long life. You don't want to live. You want to die in 10 years, you're happy in 10 years?

[Christine]

No, but in 10 years, I'll still be pretty happy. I won't be old and having a. You think Christine's gonna, like, feed me when I can't fucking. I wouldn't do it for her. I wouldn't expect she would do it for me.

[Big J Okerson]

You think Christine's gonna stay with you for 10 years? Susie, lock it. She's dumping you. As soon as she gets married, she takes.

[Christine]

That's what I was saying. I don't think we're gonna get married. So she really has to wait for me to die and refuse to leave until then?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, she. You mean Christine's only hope is being a squatter until I'm dead? Right.

[Christine]

And then squatters rights will allow her to.

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[Christine]

Not just all of my professional sports plastic cups, but also the house.

[Big J Okerson]

Why can't you just get married?

[Christine]

Huh?

[Big J Okerson]

You heard me. Why don't you just get married?

[Christine]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

I want you, Jacob.

[Christine]

Say it again. Oh, that was you.

[Big J Okerson]

That was me. I'm saying, why don't you just get married?

[Christine]

Give.

[Big J Okerson]

Christine. Christine. Would you like to get married?

[Robert Kelly]

I think I would like that, Bobby.

[Big J Okerson]

You would? Yeah. That is so sweet, man.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you remember when he asked me and took it back?

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, I don't know if we're supposed to talk about that. Wow.

[Christine]

We talked about it.

[Robert Kelly]

Did we talk about it?

[Christine]

Remember we were supposed to get Married.

[Robert Kelly]

And now we're just not.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, it was. Yeah.

[Christine]

Can we please.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

I said.

[Big J Okerson]

You came up to me.

[Christine]

I said, at skank Fest. Well, I kept you. I became with you, a little shelled. Because what had just happened was. I jokingly said it downstairs.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

And Rebecca goes. Rebecca goes, oh, my God. If you'll do that, she will do that. If you want to do like, you would be. That would be the greatest thing you'd ever do. And she's getting me all goosed. And I was like, yeah, maybe, maybe. And I go. I go, I don't even know. So I go, I don't even know if Christine would want to do that. Like, here, while we're here. And then she runs up, and I think she presents to Christine, like, oh, my God, Jay just asked to marry you, and he wants to do it this week. So then Christine's like, yeah, no, I would do that. And I was like, oh. And then, luckily, Isabella had a major medical catastrophe and the bonfire almost broke up, and there was a lot of things that came into play.

[Big J Okerson]

You mean the universe? God, actually.

[Christine]

God intervened and was actually not tipped.

[Big J Okerson]

Your daughter off a fucking atv.

[Christine]

She doesn't remember it happening. She was like, I was going straight, and then my ATV just flipped. And I was like, thanks, God. Good call. You're right. Isabella should have a forever scar instead of me having a forever Scarlet.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, he just signed for a settlement of his last divorce today.

[Christine]

I just signed the settlement paper today.

[Big J Okerson]

This would be the best day to re.

[Robert Kelly]

Re up.

[Big J Okerson]

Get a new car.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

You got a new house, you got a new truck, and now you got a new marriage. Re up.

[Christine]

She a new car, too. She's fun.

[Big J Okerson]

Ladies and gentlemen, we're gathered here today. Let's do it right now in Nashville, Buddy, Kid Rock. Let's have a rock and roll wedding, dude. Dude.

[Christine]

I think Christine would rather Kid Rock.

[Big J Okerson]

Christine, would you get married right now if we. He looks like a priest. I play one on tv.

[Christine]

Oh, yeah. You were the best. You were. But you were a background person. The Exorcist. Christina's. Want to get married here right now?

[Big J Okerson]

Christine?

[Robert Kelly]

No, I'd like to get married at City hall, quietly, privately, and not really tell people about it till it's been.

[Christine]

A while to a black guy.

[Big J Okerson]

That's the saddest thing I've ever heard. I actually want to get married in private and not let anybody know ever, until Jay grabs his chest and I get that house.

[Christine]

She might be right about that. We. We do. I grab my chest you know, be.

[Big J Okerson]

Funny is if you leave the house, if you really leave all your shit to Gil.

[Christine]

I know. I really secretly.

[Big J Okerson]

She doesn't know. And then when you do kick the button, if you do everything goes.

[Christine]

Did actually all go to Gil randomly who is a my friend and a former security guard at the Comic Strip.

[Big J Okerson]

Can you leave your microphone to Jacob?

[Christine]

No.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay.

[Christine]

How much you kept talking? That dumb fucking Chinese kid. Gamers. Mike. Oh, he turned it on.

[Big J Okerson]

Just turned his light mic on.

[Jacob]

Which means I have something to say.

[Christine]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

Wait a minute, wait a minute. When you turn your mic off, the light goes off and can you turn the light off and have the mic on?

[Jacob]

No.

[Big J Okerson]

The gayest mic.

[Jacob]

The red. Red means it's hot in the business.

[Christine]

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[Big J Okerson]

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[Big J Okerson]

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[Jacob]

Well, I, I do want. I would love to be there for the wedding of Christine and Jay, but I mean, I am also considered like, what is. What.

[Christine]

What's your concern? Can you bring a doll as a plus one? Sure, but people are going to talk.

[Big J Okerson]

You're not bringing that taxing dog with you though.

[Jacob]

I initially had a kid rock statement, but I feel we've moved past it, so.

[Robert Kelly]

But you lit up anyway.

[Jacob]

Yeah, well, I'm still getting used to lighting up the red light. I don't want to interrupt your wedding plans again, Christine, so please, I don't want to be the guy that stops this wedding from happening a second time.

[Big J Okerson]

What about the guy who's stopping the show from happening?

[Jacob]

Yeah, I'm gonna turn it here. The red light's going off.

[Big J Okerson]

Good.

[Robert Kelly]

Camera two.

[Christine]

Christ almighty.

[Big J Okerson]

You know what's funny is that we. We did the show at serious, the live show. We usually come in and just go into the studio. Last time that's all we did. But now this time we're gonna do the live fun because we're supposed to have so many guests come in with this.

[Christine]

I mean, the National Comedy Festival, they said to us, yeah, we're going to have.

[Big J Okerson]

We're going to have. We were going to have so many famous people come in here. It was going to be nuts. And we didn't.

[Christine]

I said things like this, I have Jelly Roll's other phone number. Relax. Yeah, I hope to God that's not his number anymore because he didn't write back.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah, we didn't. Yeah. Oh, is the mic's hot. Go ahead.

[Christine]

Hot mic, hot.

[Jacob]

Mike, I want to say that last week, the two of you kept bringing up Kid Rock, Right? It was sad because I don't understand. Like, you told so many stories and it seemed to never got through that he doesn't like you. But you kept saying, yeah, we probably. We're working on Kid Rock, the both of you.

[Christine]

I think earlier today I was still in a place where maybe Kid Rock was coming.

[Big J Okerson]

It's I'd rather be Jay, where he doesn't like you. He doesn't even know I exist on Earth.

[Christine]

And he's like, oh, that annoying. And he thinks you're that annoying cigar guy. Isn't that guy trying to pull those bullshit cigars on me all the time? Jacob, we need you here, dude. You're the face man for these kind of things.

[Jacob]

Yeah, I would have pulled.

[Christine]

God, how do we contain that energy to one screen?

[Big J Okerson]

I've never. Wow, your face really comes through.

[Christine]

Well, unfortunately, And I'm glad Jim McClure is not in the back room to hear this. This SiriusXM gives us Zilcho Zappo help on getting guests.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, this is like, literally. There's a studio in every corner in this town.

[Christine]

Everyone lives here. Jack White's outside.

[Big J Okerson]

I think everybody lives in this goddamn town. And we can't get anybody.

[Christine]

My one person wanted to come.

[Big J Okerson]

Not even a comic.

[Christine]

On the fact. Yeah, we started calling a list that we called the C list of people. In case we can't get anybody we want. Want or don't want. But make sense, let's just get down to people who no one gives a fuck about. And they all said no. Nobody was interested in doing this at 4pm but luckily it's a live show. So we had a little bit of fun here.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, we had a thing. Now, when they usually have big guests here, they have a form where you fill out questions. And you guys, the audience, the live audience gets to ask the entertainer like a Kid Rock or somebody. Really big questions. For some reason they left that on for us.

[Christine]

Not necessary.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, yeah, they. They. Jim actually said it was a mistake that they left it on for you guys.

[Christine]

Okay, well, people tell you that part hurts, Jim. You could just said, hey, a bunch of people said stuff. You don't go. We weren't supposed to. We thought this was a dumb idea.

[Big J Okerson]

He literally said it was a mistake that they left it on for this show. They usually leave it on for bigger shows. But we have questions. You guys ask questions.

[Christine]

Several.

[Big J Okerson]

So we want to get to these questions. Do you guys. Who ask the questions. Are you here? Raise your hands. Nice.

[Christine]

No, one lady just said I won't. We're going to find out who that is. Why? She probably asked a really shitty question.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I know. You better not ask shitty questions alive. You.

[Christine]

Well, should we go through some of these, Bobby?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, absolutely. Let's go to the.

[Christine]

I'll read you a few. We have John Jim. Can we say the last name or no?

[Jacob]

No.

[Christine]

John says, does Bobby have any lingering effects after breaking his knee in Iraq?

[Big J Okerson]

Okay, that's not a. I never broke my knee in Iraq. I broke my knee, first of all. I broke my knee in a more manly way playing flag football in Niagara.

[Christine]

Falls with Dane Cook.

[Big J Okerson]

With Dane Cook. And I went and break my knee. What happened is I tore my ACL and my mcl and when you do that, I thought I broke it. I didn't know. I didn't know what an MCL or ACL was. I just heard crunch and I said, I broke my knee, dude, 87 times. And then on the last one I heard a guy go, I think he broke his knee, dude.

[Christine]

I think he broke his knee, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Iraq. I went to Iraq with Colin Quinn and Dane Cook and I. That's a two separate stories. Iraq was great though. Iraq was.

[Christine]

Your knee was fine.

[Big J Okerson]

My knee was fine, actually.

[Christine]

Went to Iraq with Iraq with Dane Cook.

[Big J Okerson]

I went to Iraq with Dane the first time I went with Colin and Steve Byrne who was on Story wars last night, who lives in this town, who we couldn't get on this show.

[Christine]

Did Dane Cook get on. Literally Steve Byrne couldn't get Steve.

[Big J Okerson]

Steve Byrne, not even a. Not even that popular right now.

[Christine]

He could use the promo, if I'm being honest.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean he can. He needs this. Not here. Lives right up the road. Alcohol. I think he's an alcoholic.

[Christine]

He might be an alcoholic. Let's get that out there. I think he's an alcoholic. I think he's doing drugs. He doesn't wake up till night. I'm just saying, if CPS wants to look into that.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, we were. We were there. It was so funny. We did.

[Christine]

How did Dane Cook not get pussy for that long in Iraq? Did he fuck Iraqi chicks? I took their unibrow and I made it two eyebrow, two brows.

[Big J Okerson]

He stole my bet.

[Christine]

I took.

[Big J Okerson]

I made her come. No, I d. You can't get. You didn't get. You don't get in war.

[Christine]

What. What are you fighting for?

[Big J Okerson]

You think he was trying to the enemy while we were there?

[Christine]

Yeah. No Dane.

[Big J Okerson]

No. No.

[Christine]

Name fucking Iraqi girl.

[Big J Okerson]

No, you don't.

[Christine]

What if she was 16?

[Big J Okerson]

You make a valid point.

[Christine]

That's a grandmother over there.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, that's 87. Yeah, we. Steve Byrne did a fucked up thing to me while I was over there. We did this massive show in front of around 3,000 troops at night. You know, there was a general and all. I mean, everybody was there and Colin Quinn was on stage and there was lights coming up. We're literally in fucking Baghdad at the pinnacle of this war, right? I mean, shit was going on, man. It was crazy. And I took this photo. This is right when digital cameras came out. And I took this amazing photo of Colin Quinn on stage from behind his silhouette in front of thousands of troops in Baghdad. And I got this shot and Steve was right there and I. I go, dude, check out that shot. It was like. It was like the Ali shot over. You know what I mean? Like, that shot I got. And I. I go, check out that shot. And he goes, oh, cool. And I went away. He took the same photo, framed it, and gave it to Colin.

[Christine]

Nice.

[Big J Okerson]

And I'm. I'm. I'm looking at Collins. He. I'm at his house. I'm like, what the. Where'd you get that? He goes, my favorite thing ever. Steve Burns took that photo and gave it to me. It's my favorite photo of all time. I'm like, that's my photo. And Steve goes, you can't own a photo shot.

[Christine]

Yeah, you can't.

[Big J Okerson]

Fuck you, you can't.

[Christine]

Oh, you can. Well, he's half Asian, so I think he knows better.

[Big J Okerson]

That's true. You got a point.

[Christine]

If you're looking up camera law, I'm gonna go with Steve Byrne on that one.

[Big J Okerson]

Asians do take stuff we make and then just remake it cheaper.

[Christine]

That's right.

[Big J Okerson]

Kid Rock would love us.

[Christine]

Damn, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

He would have fell off and rolled on that one.

[Christine]

Suck our dicks. China Taylor asks. I don't know if I have to assume it says, who is the toughest amount? The crew. I guess among the crew is the question. Who is the toughest of us, Jacob, is.

[Big J Okerson]

You're not raising your head because it's you. You have a question.

[Christine]

You definitely have something you want to say, Jacob, because it can't be you just nominating yourself.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. It can't be somebody with a light up microphone.

[Christine]

Yeah. You hibernate in an apartment because you're afraid of rats. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Turn your barbie mic on.

[Jacob]

No, I would say I'm the toughest among the crew.

[Big J Okerson]

Toughest. What?

[Jacob]

I mean, well, what's the criteria here?

[Christine]

Toughness?

[Big J Okerson]

All. Everything's tough. Reaching things, breaking things, picking things up.

[Christine]

Pain threshold, aggression.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Yeah, that's me.

[Big J Okerson]

All right, Jim, are our mics up now? Can you hear us, Jacob?

[Jacob]

Yes, I can hear you.

[Big J Okerson]

You think you're the toughest out of the crew?

[Jacob]

I believe so, yes.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, wait, I'm gonna throw up.

[Christine]

He's saying the crew. You're talking about Black Lou, DJ Lou and Christine.

[Jacob]

No, when I say the bonfire crew, I mean communal, like ever. All of us. You, Bobby.

[Christine]

Oh, good. You know, I'm gonna throw Jim in there. I want one more person to be hysterical with the idea that you think you can kick their ass. Jim, watch your mouth, son.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, Jim had a stern talking and now you're leaning over like an asshole.

[Jacob]

I didn't include big Jim in this.

[Christine]

Oh, okay. It's a big gym.

[Jacob]

You're adding him at the last second.

[Christine]

Okay, so you would say Big Jim if not you?

[Jacob]

Of course.

[Big J Okerson]

Hey, Jacob, what size shirt do you wear?

[Jacob]

What size shirt?

[Big J Okerson]

Yes.

[Christine]

What's that? And I mean at the store, not at the build a bear where you steal them.

[Jacob]

This is a. This is a size small.

[Christine]

Did you get that in Gentleman's Petites?

[Jacob]

It's a little tight in the chest because my. My chest is big, buddy.

[Big J Okerson]

You're afraid of my son.

[Jacob]

I'm not afraid of your son. I could take your. Your old.

[Big J Okerson]

Good. You're fighting him at sky.

[Christine]

I'll tell you this. It's been. It's been an interesting two and a half years. Jacob, just so you know, Max has grown. Yeah, he's gotten taller. He's thinned out a bit too. He's got a little more. He's. He's a strong kid. When he attacked you in front of that wall of missing Israeli posters, which was the greatest picture I ever took at that day, I was like, jacob is holding back a fury that if unleashed, could hurt your son and your Son's getting a little. He's getting a little froggy with him.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Max now may be able to beat you up or at least subdue you.

[Jacob]

I think I got another two or.

[Christine]

Three years before that happens of being toughest on the crew. Black Lou knows some sort of half black karate. You're tougher than him, you say, Yeah.

[Jacob]

I said, yes, I believe so.

[Big J Okerson]

You're tougher than Black Lou, everyone. Black Lou had. Black Lou has the glow.

[Christine]

Black Lou fought his father.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. He has a belt buckle.

[Christine]

I feel like I've walked in some neighborhoods that Jacob would never go through.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, because you can't.

[Christine]

Doesn't count.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, because you can. Visually. Visually, you're fine.

[Christine]

That's not a brag. I've walked through the scariest black neighborhoods that Jacob would never walk through. Yeah, I bet.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. No shit. Yeah. I got some neighborhoods in Boston you can't walk through.

[Christine]

Yeah. I bet you weren't wearing your reading glasses and your Harvard sweatshirt when you did it.

[Jacob]

Yes, you have.

[Big J Okerson]

I can't believe you think you're the Jacob. You're not even the third. I would have said feel bad. You.

[Christine]

It's. He's not lying. It's. I would say Bobby, probably. Bobby. Bobby's got, like, a Boston baby, just.

[Jacob]

Got destroyed in paintball.

[Big J Okerson]

First of all, that's fucked up. You're bringing that up.

[Christine]

That's.

[Big J Okerson]

That was war. That was a different thing. Okay. And I couldn't see. If I could see, I would have had a better shot.

[Jacob]

You would have died with looking at the ball, looking at the paintballs hitting you.

[Big J Okerson]

Whatever, Jacob.

[Christine]

Yo, this hurts.

[Jacob]

You and your son got taken.

[Big J Okerson]

No, my son didn't. My son just screamed over and over again.

[Christine]

Now, Bobby, in fairness, you were all screaming, we're done together. And then your son and his friend deserted you and Jiu Jitsu, dad.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes, that's right.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

They.

[Big J Okerson]

They left us behind.

[Jacob]

It was.

[Big J Okerson]

What? What did you say?

[Jacob]

It had to be said.

[Christine]

Jacob.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know. That microphone is cooler now, for some.

[Christine]

Reason I love, because the way he's talking, that confidence, I like it, too. But I'm telling you right now, Jacob, could you flat out beat the shit out of DJ Lewitzki?

[Jacob]

I don't picture it. I mean, like, if we had to.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes.

[Jacob]

I mean, yes, I guess. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes or no, Jacob?

[Jacob]

Yes. Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

You can beat up.

[Christine]

I can make you a promise right now, if Black, that DJ Lou would probably accept. DJ Lou, would you fight Jacob Oversized Gloves at Skank Fest this year?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Fuck yeah, you guys might really get some shit out. That might be good. Look at Jake. Look at Jacob, who's got his arm over the shoulder. He's like, what? Sure. I don't give a fuck.

[Big J Okerson]

Your mic's getting a lighter, Red.

[Jacob]

You asked who was the toughest, now you. Now you're setting up fights.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

I mean, that's the.

[Christine]

You make it seem like that's a crazy chain of events that would happen. Who's the toughest, and now we're gonna fight. Well, yeah.

[Jacob]

You asked me.

[Christine]

There's only one way to find out. Well, I think the toughest two people are you and DJ Lou, so we have to find out once and for all. Right?

[Jacob]

I'm all right.

[Big J Okerson]

I love how quickly DJ Luke is angry. Yeah.

[Christine]

I will lose, not angry. Lou put his glasses right back on. He's like, guess training starts next week. Look at Lou. He's drinking raw eggs in there.

[Big J Okerson]

DJ Lou, are you.

[Jacob]

DJ I'm basically training.

[Christine]

Yeah, right. DJ Lou, are you gonna not train and just go in there and try to kick his ass, or are you gonna take it a little seriously?

[Big J Okerson]

I'm gonna take it very seriously.

[Christine]

Jacob, DJ Lou has an inner anger towards you. Yeah. Drink that, you uncomfortable son of a. Yeah, yeah. He's trying to this. The uppercuts he's gonna throwing are to send you cartoonishly over the ropes. I can't wait. I feel like a complete puppet master the way I orchestrated that. But it's gonna happen. Christine, lock it in. DJ Louis booked. Okay. You put your hand on your chest like. Please don't make them do this. No, no, it's fine. They'll sign a waiver because DJ Lou might die. And also, Jacob's got a rage in him that we might not st. We might have to pull him off. Like crying and screaming while he's, like, banging on Lou's chest.

[Big J Okerson]

He's just biting Lou's Achilles. He's like a little. A little doc, just answering.

[Christine]

Just answering bullies from 25 years ago. I'm not a twerp.

[Big J Okerson]

You're the twerp, you twerp. I hope DJ Lou takes his eyes out like his dog. Jacob and his dog have to move to Florida.

[Christine]

Just until you're clunking into each other. And tables non stop. Oy, Jacobs, your visiting's becoming a bit troublesome.

[Jacob]

Yeah, it gets me here.

[Christine]

What's up, Christine?

[Robert Kelly]

So Jacob thinks if he fights you or Bobby, he'd win.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

You think if you fought me. Jacob, look at me.

[Jacob]

You're Looking at it. Look at me thinking toughness as, like life toughness, like getting done.

[Big J Okerson]

Getting done so much.

[Christine]

You think that's what you mean, buddy? You mean from life's hardships?

[Big J Okerson]

What are you talking about?

[Christine]

You worked at a horse farm.

[Big J Okerson]

I was in jail when I was 13. You.

[Christine]

You think you had more hardships than poverty?

[Big J Okerson]

I was in 18 foster homes because.

[Christine]

A French guy you live was used to chump you.

[Big J Okerson]

How many birthdays I celebrated with people I didn't know?

[Jacob]

Raise your hand if you worked on a horse farm for an entire summer.

[Big J Okerson]

I worked on a farm my whole summer from the jail. The jail made me work on a farm.

[Christine]

Me and my friends broke into a horse farm, and one of the guys, Crazy Dudley Mr. Hands, let one of the horses his ass. And then.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

And then tragically, he died later that evening in the hospital. But I didn't work there. To answer your question, I didn't work there.

[Big J Okerson]

All right. I think Jacob is a little delusional.

[Christine]

No, I don't think so at all. I think he's gonna kick Lou's ass. Lou, watch your back.

[Jacob]

See?

[Christine]

Some other questions here. Heather says I'm an oncology nurse practitioner in Knoxville, and not a day goes by that I don't listen to Big J and Bobby. Oh.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, nice.

[Christine]

I've been listening to them separately for 10 years, and I love them together on the bonfire.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a good one.

[Christine]

I'm taking days away from my cancer patients to come to Nashville Comedy Festival to celebrate my 23 anniversary. 23 year anniversary of my hubby. Oh. Our marriage has literally lasted this long because our favorite thing to do together is listen to the bonfire and bonfire. Jason. Comedy. Seeing the bonfire live equals her snake pit. That is so sweet. We've kept a couple together 23 years.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow.

[Christine]

And we've only been doing the show together for three years.

[Big J Okerson]

Two. A little over two years. Just barely over two.

[Christine]

Barely over two. It's felt like three.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know if that's a good. Is that a good.

[Christine]

That's good. It's good. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Explain more.

[Christine]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Christine]

But she's saying that the last two and a half is only worked out because they love comedy together, which means it's become a sexless, loveless marriage. Yeah, but it's easier to stay together for the kids if they could just laugh together and go whack off in.

[Big J Okerson]

Separate rooms and listen to two guys who have sexist, loveless relationships.

[Christine]

Sexist loves relationships. Christine. I'm sorry. I'm not a wolf. Or a vampire. Stephanie asks. I don't want to ask this question. Wait a minute.

[Big J Okerson]

Was there a question in there or was that just a thing?

[Christine]

I just wanted us to know that we're great.

[Big J Okerson]

Where is she? Are you here? Hi there. Look at the couple right there.

[Christine]

Look at them. She's arm in arm with them because this.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, sure. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Real quick. I need to stop. I'm pretty sure I'm not say that into the microphone. So my question was, have you ever fucked a black guy? Because that's how his Q A opened my go to question, right? Yeah. Yeah, I have. That was my question. That's how I got the job. I fucked Black Lou. That was the one thing if I could take it from. I could take it from Black Lou. I could get the gig. That's how Dan got the job, by the way. Fun fact, fun fact.

[Christine]

Fun fact. I don't. This question, Bobby.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Could what?

[Christine]

It could open up a flood. It says, what's your biggest pet peeve of each other?

[Big J Okerson]

Wow, that's a good one.

[Christine]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know, dude. You know the one thing I don't have a pet peeve, like something you do that makes me angry. I don't know, man. You make me giggle a lot. Like, you're such a silly. And you never take anything serious.

[Christine]

That's true.

[Big J Okerson]

So it's not like when you do stuff with people that. When they get serious or when it's. That's when they do things that kind of piss you off, but you're never not trying to be funny. So it's always been stupid and funny with you, dude.

[Christine]

That's a great answer.

[Big J Okerson]

Thanks.

[Christine]

I'm gonna do the same kind of thing. My biggest pet peeve about him is that we don't get a chance to spend more time together.

[Big J Okerson]

I love you, man.

[Christine]

He loves his family. And I fucking love you, dude. Brian asked, do you have your passport? And did you get your shots? Yeah, both are handled. I think I'd like to come back with Rob to America. America.

[Big J Okerson]

Who asks these questions? When they ask the question, have them raise their hand so we can put a face to the name like we just did with them.

[Christine]

Stephanie?

[Big J Okerson]

Stephanie, where are you?

[Christine]

Who just wants to know our pet peeve? Oh, look at Stephanie. Just wanted to fucking start a fire and leave. Is it true that Bobby touched Christine's tit when you turned around the other day? What? Who asked that question?

[Big J Okerson]

Did I touch your tit?

[Christine]

No.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, did you?

[Christine]

No.

[Big J Okerson]

I've never I've never even seen her tits.

[Christine]

Huh?

[Big J Okerson]

I've never. I've never.

[Christine]

What I say, I didn't hear. I genuinely.

[Big J Okerson]

I've never seen Christine. I don't even look at Christine. I don't even look at Christine like that. What's happening? Just go to the next question.

[Robert Kelly]

Bobby just makes fun of my small boobs.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't. You don't have small boobs. You have.

[Christine]

No, that's what he means. He said he's never seen them. She's flashed you 12 times. You just say you've never seen him because she has small boobs. Piece of.

[Big J Okerson]

You have perfect boobs, Christine.

[Robert Kelly]

Thanks, Bobby.

[Big J Okerson]

You're welcome.

[Robert Kelly]

I think I know what your actual pet peeves of each other are.

[Big J Okerson]

What? What kind of do you. You know what? I hope you don't get anything. I hope you lose it all. Hope all you get is plastic cups.

[Christine]

Maybe not even those.

[Big J Okerson]

What is it? What is.

[Christine]

You can have the ones with Ben Simmons on them.

[Big J Okerson]

What do you think?

[Christine]

I.

[Big J Okerson]

What do you think our pet peeves are, Christine?

[Robert Kelly]

Well, they're just silly little ones.

[Big J Okerson]

Like what?

[Robert Kelly]

Micro corrections and insta reels.

[Big J Okerson]

You don't like.

[Christine]

She's giving. She's giving you her. She's giving you her complaint.

[Big J Okerson]

You don't like her complaints and you don't like when he micro corrects. You don't like my. You don't like my insta. First of all, mother, I watch your reels. Well, I. I send when I see something that could be for the show.

[Christine]

Oh, Bobby, another Rio. It's only seven in the morning already. That's Christine. Try to sandbag me. I'm a sandbag her.

[Big J Okerson]

No, I'm sorry. I got to wake up early. And that's when I look at my reels.

[Christine]

Must be nice enough to wake up early, Christine. Yeah, this dude.

[Big J Okerson]

Christ. Swear to God, your micro corrections are to help. They're really not to hurt, so I get it.

[Christine]

I just want to.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, dude. I know how to say Wilton Goggins. Did I it up again?

[Christine]

I. To the best of my knowledge, I.

[Big J Okerson]

Don'T let you micro record.

[Christine]

To the best. I got you. I'm gonna do it right?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Christine]

To the best of my knowledge. If memory serves me correctly, everyone in the world except you understands now. That's Walton Goggins.

[Big J Okerson]

No, that's not it. You had it.

[Christine]

You've watched every show he's been a part of.

[Big J Okerson]

That's not the way you do it. You twilt. You at the end suck.

[Christine]

Oh my God. Christine. Hates this about you do one more question before we gotta take a break. Oh, I like this one. We're not going to like the answer, though. Will Bobby buy Max's first car? And what will it be?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I will, but I already. I'm already picking it out.

[Christine]

What is it? A van with a fake logo for a company so we can abduct children. You give him every opportunity to really destroy the world. Now here's an apartment in a 3D printer. Go shoot a school. You come in bragging. Dude, Max just figured out how to make a working AR15 with a 3D printer. The kid's a genius.

[Big J Okerson]

He was. He wants me to buy him. He's. He wants me to buy him a dirt bike right now.

[Christine]

I mean, I'm worried about some of the things you're exposing him to. When me and Christine came over for Thanksgiving. Yeah, we decided. You loving it up here. He's like, he took my guns away. But luckily, we go back up to Vermont. I got all my guns up there. I'm like, all right, John Wick, what's this kid looking forward to?

[Big J Okerson]

Well, in New Hampshire. Not Vermont, you. It's New Hampshire.

[Christine]

Those gay hippie places.

[Big J Okerson]

We have a lot of guns. And I t. I. I got him NRA certified. And I.

[Jacob]

He.

[Big J Okerson]

We shot guns all summer. So he's into guns. He has a bunch of guns.

[Christine]

He was bummed that he couldn't have his guns where you live.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, you can't have guns in New York at his age.

[Christine]

They could have plastic ones you make on a 3D printer in your psycho basement.

[Big J Okerson]

But. But I think I'm going to get him an old. Like a old Camaro.

[Christine]

Why?

[Big J Okerson]

I'm going to get him a car that if he. Not something old, easy to fix. Number one. Doesn't take a lot of. And if you smash it up or bump it up, it doesn't matter.

[Christine]

Camaro, huh?

[Big J Okerson]

Like an older. Like an older car like that?

[Christine]

Maybe Buick century.

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[Christine]

No Brick house. That thing?

[Big J Okerson]

A century.

[Christine]

It was good enough for my popup.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, God. But I'm going to get him an older car like that. I'm not getting him a new car. I'm going to get him an old.

[Christine]

You get him a 57. Mustang soup.

[Big J Okerson]

No, not a five. I'm not getting him a muscle car.

[Christine]

I'm going to spoil them. Because you want to come in. You want to live through them so bad. You're like, max keeps getting his dick sucked in the park, in the driveway of the house. Dawn's getting Upset.

[Big J Okerson]

I hope he gets his dick sucked.

[Christine]

I know you do. You're going to make him come in and breathe on you.

[Big J Okerson]

That. That almost made me. I mean, that almost. That's the grossest thing. That's my son.

[Christine]

No, I didn't. It would have been him. Suck.

[Big J Okerson]

What the.

[Christine]

We gotta take a break, everybody. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

When we come back, we have a very special surprise for you guys.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

So we'll let you know what that is when we come back.

[Christine]

I'll tell you. It's not Kid Rock.

[Big J Okerson]

It's not Kid Rock, but it's gonna be better.

[Christine]

I wouldn't even give you a head fake on that.

[Big J Okerson]

It's gonna be better. It could possibly be better than Kid Rock.

[Christine]

Rock wouldn't be able to hide my excitement if he was here. I wouldn't be able to go. Maybe it's good. I don't know. I'd be like. It is. It is. He's here. Should I call him Bobby or Kid Rock or Mr. Rock?

[Big J Okerson]

We're live from Nashville. It's the bonfire. Big J's got shows tonight, tomorrow and all week, right?

[Christine]

No. Yes. At the end of the week. I leave Thursday for Atlanta. I'll be in Atlanta. New Helium Club all weekend. I'm all over the road. Big Joker since North Peter North American tour coming on a city near.

[Big J Okerson]

You got it.

[Christine]

If you get it, you get it.

[Big J Okerson]

You get it, you get it. All right. We'll be right back. It's the bonfire.

[All Modern Representative]

At Strayer University, we help students like you go from is it possible? To anything is possible by offering access to up to 10 no cost gen ed courses so you can reach your goals affordably and fast. Visit Strayer Edu to learn more. No cost gen EDS provided by Strayer University affiliate Sophia Eligibility rules apply. Connect with us for details. Strayer University is certified to operate in Virginia by Chev and has many campuses including at 2121 15th Street north in Arlington, Virginia.

[Black Lou]

Hi, I'm Katie Nolan from the Internet and Cable TV. Or as your mom called me, that sports gal from Celebrity Jeopardy. I have a new podcast called Casual. It's a podcast for people who like sports a normal amount. No stats or spreadsheets, nary an X or O to be found. Just laid back, casual banter about home runs, hockey fights and good old fashioned drama. Casuals is a twice a week hang with me and my friends from across comedy, sports and entertainment where we talk about all the funny, weird, interesting stuff happening in and around the world of sports. Think of it as all the best things about sports with none of the homework. So whether you're a die hard fan or vaguely sports curious, Casuals is the podcast for you. You can find casuals on the SiriusXM app, Pandora, or wherever you get your podcasts. And don't forget to smash that follow button. That way you'll never miss an episode. Just try it. You can always un smash it.