Bootlicking Bobby

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly – Episode: "Bootlicking Bobby" (Released June 13, 2025)

Hosted by SiriusXM on Faction Talk, Channel 103

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1. Introduction to the Episode

In the episode titled "Bootlicking Bobby," hosts Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly dive into a myriad of topics ranging from personal anecdotes and health regimes to travel experiences in Aruba. The conversation is marked by their signature blunt humor and candid exchanges, creating an engaging and entertaining atmosphere for listeners.

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2. Personal Appearance and Health Discussions

Timestamp: [00:48] – [04:38]

The episode kicks off with the hosts discussing their physical appearances, particularly focusing on Big Jay's new rimless glasses and Robert's hair changes due to the humid summer weather.

• Robert Kelly compliments Big Jay's new glasses:

  "I've always wanted to do the rimless. I like a nice rimless." ([02:35])

The conversation swiftly shifts to health supplements and testosterone therapy:

• Robert Kelly shares his experience with stopping a peptide due to burning sensations:

  "I just stopped taking one of the peptides because it burns." ([02:54])

• Big Jay Oakerson expresses skepticism about some medical terms:

  "They used the term mitochondria three times. I don't know what they're talking about still." ([02:49])

The hosts discuss the impact of testosterone (T) supplements and peptides on their physiques and overall well-being, highlighting the challenges Robert faces with elevated hemoglobin levels requiring him to cease his supplementation temporarily.

• Robert Kelly on his hemoglobin levels:

  "I have to get off it because I didn't want to give... in Aruba." ([04:43])

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3. Travel Tales and Experiences in Aruba

Timestamp: [05:04] – [23:25]

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to reminiscing about their trips to Aruba, sharing both humorous and serious experiences.

• Robert Kelly recounts being noticed for his workout routine:

  "Every time I got noticed, it was... That guy was shredded." ([08:25])

They delve into the local culture, dining spots, and the infamous Natalee Holloway case, blending humor with dark references.

• Big Jay Oakerson jokes about the safety in Aruba:

  "Sex crimes aren't legal. If you murder them, it's legal..." ([24:28])

The hosts share their favorite restaurants in Aruba, such as Madame Jeanette's and Zerova, praising the local cuisine while humorously discussing interactions with locals.

• Robert Kelly on Madame Jeanette's:

  "It's the best filet mignon I've ever had in my life." ([13:15])

They also touch upon the transformation of Aruba's Baby Beach from a secluded spot to a bustling tourist area, lamenting the loss of its original charm.

• Robert Kelly on the changing landscape:

  "Now it sucks." ([23:24])

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4. Investment Strategies: Gold and Silver Bullion

Timestamp: [55:00] – [63:27]

The conversation shifts towards financial topics, particularly investments in gold and silver bullion. Both hosts express strong opinions on the merits and drawbacks of investing in precious metals.

• Robert Kelly advocates for gold as a secure investment:

  "Gold is a great investment just to keep in a safe." ([55:40])

• Big Jay Oakerson counters with skepticism:

  "It's shiny and it's like a thing. It means nothing." ([61:21])

They discuss the fluctuating prices of gold and silver, debating whether these metals hold intrinsic value or are merely speculative investments.

• Robert Kelly on the practicality of gold:

  "Instead of having cash... you can have two gold coins in your safe instead of $10,000." ([61:39])

The hosts humorously brainstorm ways to protect their bullion, intertwining jokes with genuine investment advice.

• Big Jay Oakerson on safeguarding gold:

  "Make your gun out of gold." ([58:07])

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5. Interactions with Listeners and Guests

Timestamp: [46:00] – [50:55]

Interspersed with their main discussions are interactions involving a guest named Christine and playful banter about studio dynamics.

• Christine participates in light-hearted exchanges, especially during gift-opening segments:

  "I love this." ([50:03])

• Robert Kelly and Big Jay Oakerson engage in humorous debates over gift distribution, showcasing their chemistry and comedic timing.

• Big Jay Oakerson addresses interactions with DJ Taj Black, highlighting the show's lively and unpredictable nature:

  "They kept almost coming into the studio." ([46:22])

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6. Comedy Promotions and Upcoming Tours

Timestamp: [64:35] – [66:46]

Towards the end of the episode, the hosts promote their respective comedy tours and upcoming performances, encouraging listeners to attend their shows.

• Big Jay Oakerson announces his tour dates:

  "Big J's gonna be this weekend at Governor's Levittown..." ([64:46])

• Robert Kelly promotes his appearances:

  "You'll have to catch him every Tuesday night." ([64:36])

Additionally, they remind listeners about the availability of their specials on YouTube and the release schedule of new podcast episodes.

• Robert Kelly on podcast availability:

  "New episodes Tuesdays through Friday on all major platforms." ([65:14])

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7. Closing Remarks and Final Banter

Timestamp: [66:04] – [67:39]

The episode concludes with a blend of playful insults, affirmations of friendship, and a final nod to their audience.

• Big Jay Oakerson jests about Robert's gifts:

  "Is Christine's duty?" ([49:00])

• Robert Kelly reassures about their friendship despite the banter:

  "We are friends." ([45:34])

The hosts bid farewell with well-wishes for the weekend and a humorous take on their interactions with Christine.

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Conclusion

"Bootlicking Bobby" showcases Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly's dynamic rapport, seamlessly blending humor with genuine discussions on health, travel, and investments. Their ability to oscillate between light-hearted jokes and serious topics provides a comprehensive and entertaining listening experience. Whether you're a regular listener or new to "The Bonfire," this episode offers a glimpse into the hosts' unfiltered conversations and comedic genius.

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Notable Quotes:

• On Health Supplements:

  "I went to that game day place. They used the term mitochondria three times. I don't know what they're talking about still." – Big Jay Oakerson ([02:49])

• On Gold Investments:

  "Instead of having cash... you can have two gold coins in your safe instead of $10,000." – Robert Kelly ([61:39])

• On their Friendship:

  "We are friends." – Robert Kelly ([45:34])

• On Upcoming Tours:

  "Big J's gonna be this weekend at Governor's Levittown..." – Big Jay Oakerson ([64:46])

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Stay Connected:

• Subscribe: Listen live every Monday through Thursday at 5pm Eastern/2pm Pacific on SiriusXM’s Faction Talk, Channel 103.
• Ad-Free Listening: Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ for ad-free episodes and early access.
• Follow on Social Media: Stay updated with Big Jay and Bobby on all major platforms, including TikTok and Twitch.

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This summary captures the essence of the "Bootlicking Bobby" episode, highlighting key discussions and memorable moments. For the full experience, tune into the episode on SiriusXM’s Faction Talk.

Transcript

[Christine]

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[Robert Kelly]

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[Big J Okerson]

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[Robert Kelly]

And now the Bonfire with Big J Okerson and Robert Kelly. It's the bonfire with your man Big J Okerson, who just arrived looking smooth. New glasses. That I have to say, because I am a frame slut as well as a bag slot. I'm jealous because. Well, you went for the. You went for a really. Robert Kelly here. Robert Kelly, co host of the Bonfire with Big J. Christine's walking in. Oh, she's got a little fizzy hair. It's humid out. It's summertime. Looking hot in both ways with that frizzy hair. I like it. I like a little. Yeah, you know, it looks good.

[Big J Okerson]

Got to run your fingers through a little bit. You have it up. You had it up.

[Robert Kelly]

I would say it has volume. I like your volume. Is that a better way to say it? I said frizzy and in girl talk. That's not good. Volume is good, right?

[Big J Okerson]

Your hair looks really shitty today.

[Robert Kelly]

I think it looks beautiful. I think you look great. Yeah, dude, your glasses. I've. I've always wanted to do the. They call frameless rimless. Rimless. I like a nice rimless. But I've never had the balls to go rimless because of. I need that, you know. I have no hair still.

[Big J Okerson]

It'll look good. The rimless is. And Black Luke can back this up. Whenever someone hardcore in 90s hip hop.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Wanted to turn up one day being a little more like thoughtful and smart. Still with all the hip hop clothes, they would just throw on a pair of rimless.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Rimless glasses. And it changed everything. Eminem, Ghostface, Killer, most notably those two.

[Robert Kelly]

You know what it adds.

[Big J Okerson]

Method man started doing it. What?

[Robert Kelly]

Intelligence. It gives a hint of intelligence that you. I'm not saying you don't have.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, you do. You have. You have intelligence in certain areas. I mean, yacht rock. The yacht rock.

[Big J Okerson]

A lot of useless information.

[Robert Kelly]

But for this, it's fantastic. For what you do for a living, it's fantastic.

[Big J Okerson]

I went to that game day place. They used the term mitochondria three times. I don't know what they're talking about still. I just nod.

[Robert Kelly]

You shouldn't nod. You should know it. I don't know what it means either.

[Big J Okerson]

I just know. I stopped taking one of the peptides because it burns.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, you just stopped taking the.

[Big J Okerson]

I took the other one last night, but yeah, that blue one. Ooh, that thing slaps.

[Robert Kelly]

I want to take the. The 1:50. 1:57 or whatever it is.

[Big J Okerson]

BP 157.

[Robert Kelly]

I want to take. I'm gonna take that.

[Big J Okerson]

That's what I'm taking.

[Robert Kelly]

Or the. The cerium. Cerium.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know what that is. But then they gave me a thing called nad. NAD plus nad. And they said that's the youth potion that all Hollywood's using.

[Robert Kelly]

Here's the thing.

[Big J Okerson]

They juiced me up and I'll tell you what. A little bit of a head rush. Yeah, felt good.

[Robert Kelly]

We're either gonna look fantastic by the end of the year or we're gonna be dead.

[Big J Okerson]

No, I want to look like. I want to be a cat lady like Joan Rivers. I'm gonna have a little Kim face. What the am I. I'm gonna have that bright white. My skin's gonna be a totally different color on my face.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I'm going in Friday. I had free. I didn't tell this, but I had to get off because my. My hemoglobins, my gluen hebins were high.

[Big J Okerson]

Dude, I've been feeling like you were a little bit more of a. Than me this week. That's crazy, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

It is.

[Big J Okerson]

I seem to be reacting wonderfully to it.

[Robert Kelly]

Like, man, that hurt my feelings. It doesn't make me feel good when you say that, by the way.

[Big J Okerson]

No, listen, they said sometimes lady boys will not be able to handle the tea.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, here's the thing. I. My. My hemoglobins were. I think 18 is a cutoff. I was 17.8, so she didn't know what that means. I don't either, but she said you have to get off.

[Big J Okerson]

Is that mud blood?

[Robert Kelly]

Mud blood?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

She's gave me two options. She goes, go have your blood. Give blood.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, God.

[Robert Kelly]

Somewhere or.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a crazy thing to have to do?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

You're supposed to give blood to be nice, not because you have to empty your blood.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, she said go give blood or you have to get off it. So I got off of it because I didn't want to give. I was going to be in Aruba and that'd be weird. Just going to give blood in some Arubian fucking place. So I go back Friday, get tested. I'm probably going to have to lower my dose. But then I'm going on the. The peptide.

[Big J Okerson]

Nice.

[Robert Kelly]

Syria some other thing. I don't know what to do. I'm just letting him shoot.

[Big J Okerson]

Shit, dude. Tell me about it. So many needles in me in the past couple weeks.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't care. I was. I was all, you know, they tried.

[Big J Okerson]

To me up, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

They tried to get me on Ozempic five years ago.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

And I was like, no, I'm not shooting myself up.

[Big J Okerson]

Should have listened.

[Robert Kelly]

Should have listened. I would have been shredded.

[Big J Okerson]

You'd be yoked right now.

[Robert Kelly]

But dude, we're gonna be yoked this summer if we're both on T and peptides and montaglupins and glopin. Glopins. Mitochondria, Mitochronia and seria dipiums. Yeah, dude, we're gonna be shredded.

[Big J Okerson]

We're probably gonna get in the waiting room of giving blood constantly.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

The summer of Bob and yoke. Bob and J.

[Robert Kelly]

Here's what happened. That sucks for me. I was. I was working out. I was on the tea working out. I was feeling fantastic. I'm gonna tell you this right now. Not a placebo.

[Big J Okerson]

How long were you on it?

[Robert Kelly]

I was on it for seven weeks.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, then yeah, you were definitely feeling something from it.

[Robert Kelly]

Buddy, I was feeling it. I have a photo and I don't. I know you don't like the photos in the gym thing. That's wicked gay to you.

[Big J Okerson]

I really love it.

[Robert Kelly]

You gotta now now you I like.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah. I've been starting to come around to the idea of taking some chash.

[Robert Kelly]

I knew you. I got it.

[Big J Okerson]

Once you got buddy on my life, you'll never see that one side.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, buddy, you have an insane gym. You're on the glooping gleepins and you're going to get shredded. And once you get shredded, you're going to. You might not show us, you might never tell us, but I guarantee you're going to go, let me just take one selfie and you're going to gonna put it on the old 10 so you can put it up and then walk away and Then you're going to go. You're going to put your fist together, knuckle, index knuckle to index knuckle, and shred it up. And I tell you, I did it. I have a photo.

[Big J Okerson]

I'll mark your words.

[Robert Kelly]

And I. As you flexed your chest. Did you see that? You just flexed your chest when you did that? Look at that O. He's pumping his little.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm not good at my left one. My right one.

[Robert Kelly]

I can crack, buddy. I took a photo step. I look. I look fantastic. And then I had to get off the tee. And I work. I worked out in the. In Arubas. I did work out every day in Aruba, but it did. I ate like shit. So it's like, what, I was like, three weeks ago.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

In that fucking state of let's. Let's go, dude. I was pressing 50 dumbbells.

[Big J Okerson]

Your testosterone's down now. Now you. You have lady ideas.

[Robert Kelly]

I just want to cry.

[Big J Okerson]

You want to cry and read books on the beach?

[Robert Kelly]

I did read a book. I know I did read a book.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. The Art of War on the beach.

[Robert Kelly]

Senju. What's his name? Sun Tzu. Dude, I show you this photo.

[Big J Okerson]

Dude.

[Robert Kelly]

I was very proud of this fucking photo, dude. Aruba was fucking. We talked about it a little bit yesterday, but Monday, Monday, the other day. Monday, Monday. Because this is fucking Thursday.

[Big J Okerson]

Thursday.

[Robert Kelly]

Welcome to Thursday. Happy weekend. I wasn't here yesterday. Sorry.

[Big J Okerson]

It's so hot today. I believe somewhere, Buddy, do.

[Robert Kelly]

We were in Aruba.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

First of all, I got noticed, you know? You get noticed on vacation, dude. I got noticed working out. Every time I got noticed, it was.

[Big J Okerson]

Me doing something cool, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

I was in the gym twice. Got noticed. Then I was at the pool and I had my rubber bands, the bonfire bands, I call them, because we're the bonfire boys. On Saturday, I brought my bands and I said, don, let's work out. So Don was like, all right. We worked out at the pool. And I'm sitting there just doing my private pool. No, public pool. What? Oh, what?

[Big J Okerson]

I would have hated you if I was there.

[Robert Kelly]

I know. Here's the thing, Buddy. I know, and you're right. But, dude, all of a sudden, I.

[Big J Okerson]

Would have left and let it be known somehow, visually, that I'm leaving because of your behavior.

[Robert Kelly]

Buddy, I agree with you. I understand what you're saying, but it's like, fuck everybody. I was like, I think the tea was still in me a little bit. It was like day two and I'm at the pool. My bands right I have my little workout video on. Guy walks up and goes, hey, dude, big bonfire fan. Bob Kelly. Proud of you, man. That's fucking great. You're working out now. This guy was shredded. This guy was fucking rocking.

[Big J Okerson]

So that was actually condescending. No, he was.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, I didn't think of it that way, but yes, I guess it is.

[Big J Okerson]

But in the time you took it as a compliment, but it was very, very condescending. Good for you. If he was fat, I would be like, he was being nice.

[Robert Kelly]

I did.

[Big J Okerson]

The fact you said he was shredded lets me know he was fucking. He was chumping you. And also Bobby.

[Robert Kelly]

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

[Big J Okerson]

DJ Lou is correct, by the way. If you train like Rocky 3 with all these people recognizing you and knowing you, you're not really putting the work in, dude. And Clubber Lang is going to fucking murder your manager. Look out, Matt Frost.

[Robert Kelly]

This Dawn. Don's gonna be murdered.

[Big J Okerson]

Matt Frost is gonna have a. Have to be on a table.

[Robert Kelly]

I really should.

[Big J Okerson]

Matt Frost.

[Robert Kelly]

I really should have took video of me and Don because Don had the bikini with the little. The fat skirt underneath the tits.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, Christ.

[Robert Kelly]

You know, the middle aged woman, fat skirt just goes down over the belly just a little bit. So me and her were doing the bands right by the pool. But I tell you what, don't put your head down. A lot of people came up to us. Like, that's. So you inspired us.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, they're being sarcastic.

[Robert Kelly]

It was a gay couple.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, you're not understanding. I don't think you are good at reading people's energies when you're saying things.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't care, buddy.

[Big J Okerson]

Yo, this guy said, good try with my exercise.

[Robert Kelly]

He didn't say try. He said, I know he was good on you, but here's the thing, Jay. Good for you. Thank you. Jacob. Jacob. Jacob will be proud of me for.

[Big J Okerson]

Working out at the pool.

[Robert Kelly]

At the pool, in front of all the people. Boom.

[Big J Okerson]

I know. You're doing it like you have like your Schwarzenegger at Venice Beach.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, it was. It was Schwarzenegger and chubby wife. Two chubzos.

[Big J Okerson]

You got cracker crumbs all over your shirt, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

It was. I think it was. It was around 630.

[Big J Okerson]

Yank it out there.

[Robert Kelly]

That's the problem. The problem I found out with the tea is that your estrogen can go up a little bit and that holds water. So you have to drink way more water. You have to drink way more water than you think just to. Because your body will say, oh, I Don't have enough water. Store this water to let me survive. So you just gotta keep drinking a lot of water. So I'm trying to figure it out, but when I'm out there, we're eating good. Not eating a lot, but we're eating good. Shitty, I would say every day. Breakfast, a little lunch and dinner.

[Big J Okerson]

But what's Aruba Bay? Isn't it beautiful? Seafood and shit?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. No, dude, it's got like. All right, so there's two restaurants. There's three restaurants you go to in Aruba.

[Big J Okerson]

There's Madison Round, Sizzler.

[Robert Kelly]

No. Ground Round. No, no Sizzler. Sizzler's gone, by the way.

[Big J Okerson]

Hooters.

[Robert Kelly]

It's like a 1992 Ponderosa. No, Ponderosa.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. But I feel like Aruba might have these things still.

[Robert Kelly]

No, not anymore. They did have them.

[Big J Okerson]

There's Bennigan still in the Middle East.

[Robert Kelly]

No, no, Bennigan's. Okay, Mom. Madame Jeanette's, which is Dutch. Dutch thing. They have, like, chicken quarter and blue. Fucking great.

[Big J Okerson]

And a hula hands.

[Robert Kelly]

No hula hands, but they have Madame Jeanette. There it is right there. Outdoor restaurant, music. They have a guy who's amazing, sings.

[Big J Okerson]

The guitar, a bunch of goulash soup.

[Robert Kelly]

So good. Dude, Madame Jeanette is like the restaurant you have to go to. It's fucking awesome. Atmosphere is the shit. The food is amazing.

[Big J Okerson]

Is Madame Jeannette also a madam?

[Robert Kelly]

No, she's. She's not around anymore, I don't think. Oh, she wasn't a madam.

[Big J Okerson]

She died in a sting operation where they brought down her prostitution empire.

[Robert Kelly]

I think they were just being polite. I think her slaves were being polite. Oh, madam.

[Big J Okerson]

Madam, yes. Oh, the madam of the house. Yes, Madam of the house when she ruled. And you like to eat there because you could still feel the tears of the slaves of the servants. Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

Azar is probably one of my favorite restaurants and the best filet mignon I've ever had.

[Big J Okerson]

You said you have to go to Madame Jeanette's, and there's a thing called pimped up rolls. Yeah, that's like, the place you have to go in Aruba, buddy.

[Robert Kelly]

It's such a beautiful restaurant. I. You would love it. You would love.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, Madam Jeanette Azar. Oh, no, I bet I would really like the food at Madame Jeannette's because that looks more my wheelhouse of, like, I understand this, but you have to.

[Robert Kelly]

Drive, like, in the middle of nowhere. So you got to go on the road down a street, and it's like, in a neighborhood all Of a sudden, there's this parking lot. You pull in, and there's Madame Jeannette's. Now the other place is a czar, which is new, and it's so fucking good. The filet mignon is hands down the best filet I've ever had in my life. It's the size of a fucking cow.

[Big J Okerson]

Roasted feta.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

My, my, my.

[Robert Kelly]

It's such a good. You. I mean, you would love this place.

[Big J Okerson]

I know, but I've never been to Aruba.

[Robert Kelly]

Here's the next place, Lucas. Homemade pasta. And my favorite pasta. Hands down, number one championship pasta of the world, Kasha Pepe.

[Big J Okerson]

I can make homemade pasta in my house.

[Robert Kelly]

Kashia Pepe, you cannot make.

[Big J Okerson]

I can.

[Robert Kelly]

You can't make kasha pepe. How do you make kasha pepe?

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, I don't know. Christine. We have the equipment to do it. She's just never. We've never turned it on. But it looks so nice on the counter.

[Christine]

No, we don't have.

[Big J Okerson]

We had a beautiful air. We got a beautiful air fryer that I think works. And we got the. We got a crock pot again, the big crock pot pressure cooker that I. That. When I get the tape off of that some bitch. I'm gonna open it and put something in there.

[Robert Kelly]

This place, right, Lucas. Dude, it's so homemade pasta.

[Big J Okerson]

It looks like rice and mushrooms on.

[Robert Kelly]

The COVID No, that's. That's their mushroom risotto.

[Big J Okerson]

Bad cover photo.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, you're being so negative.

[Big J Okerson]

No, listen.

[Robert Kelly]

Listen to me. That. Go back to that risotto.

[Big J Okerson]

That. That stuff there looks great.

[Robert Kelly]

The pizza?

[Big J Okerson]

No, the.

[Robert Kelly]

You don't like risotto?

[Big J Okerson]

I don't care for it, buddy.

[Robert Kelly]

Risotto is probably one of the greatest Italian dishes of all time.

[Christine]

Really? Like arancini either.

[Big J Okerson]

It's very starchy.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, dude, that's up your alley. Now you're a starchy guy.

[Big J Okerson]

I do like some starches, but rice isn't my starch.

[Robert Kelly]

That's the way you like your colors.

[Big J Okerson]

Mushed rice is not my starch.

[Robert Kelly]

Nothing on the old collar starch joke. All right, well, there you go. Check your headphones.

[Big J Okerson]

That was just an old man reference. Put a little starch on your shirt.

[Robert Kelly]

That was a Dick Van Dyke reference.

[Big J Okerson]

Was your family working haberdashery? Mushed rice has never been my deal.

[Robert Kelly]

It's not mushed. It's cheese. Cheese rice. It's very cheesy. A lot of cheese in risotto. It's the reason why it's all creamy is because of the cheese. Love it. Risotto is the best. I love risotto. This place is fucking awesome. And then we went to the local place. There's a place called Zerova. It's way out in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of the island. You have to drive way out nowhere down these streets. And you find it. It's a local joint. You go, you walk up.

[Big J Okerson]

Do you keep taking dawn deep into the cities to see if she can find. You could find your Jorn Vander Sloot to kill her.

[Robert Kelly]

No, no, I don't want dawn, dude. I love Dawn.

[Big J Okerson]

You want her killed in Aruba?

[Robert Kelly]

I do not want.

[Big J Okerson]

Why do you keep taking her so deep into these freaky towns? Hey, babe. No, I know the resorts, the only safe place. But let's really. Let's get into the heart of these things. I Want to Eat by Wagner. Guys are doing machete stuff outside by the.

[Robert Kelly]

While you eat at this restaurant, the boats are pulling this. The fishing boats are pulling up, taking the fish off, cutting them, cleaning them right there.

[Big J Okerson]

And those guys are all rapists.

[Robert Kelly]

And then. And then you order. You order your fish from them. Fry it. They do the. Whatever fish they caught. Barracuda looks really good, I think it's called. Zerover is the place we went to, is my favorite local place. It's mostly locals and.

[Big J Okerson]

And you.

[Robert Kelly]

And people who know. A lot of. A lot of people don't know where.

[Big J Okerson]

To hide a body.

[Robert Kelly]

And then you. You. French fries, plantains and fresh fish right off the boat. There it is, right there. It is the best. Right on the water. They bring the fit. Look at that place. You'd like. Do you like fish?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

You like fried fish?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

You would. Look at that. How great does that look?

[Christine]

Looks like a little chicken.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, dude, that's fish, man. They.

[Big J Okerson]

They catch fish. Is that.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know.

[Big J Okerson]

That's probably Dog paw.

[Robert Kelly]

No, it's. I don't know. They ditch barracuda, whatever they catch that day.

[Big J Okerson]

Who owns Aruba? Us.

[Robert Kelly]

What do you mean, who owns Dutch? The Dutch.

[Big J Okerson]

Dutch.

[Robert Kelly]

That's why it's awesome, too. And there's such a low percent of crime rate that you can go anywhere and not really be fucked with, as.

[Big J Okerson]

You keep telling Dawn.

[Robert Kelly]

I know. It's a fact. Well, the first time we went there, we went to.

[Big J Okerson]

Dude, dawn got her head cut off by a guy with a machete on a motorcycle.

[Robert Kelly]

The first time we went there, there was a guy. There was a dance club, and it was all, like, locals. And I was like, hey, is it dangerous? He goes, no. The cop was like, there's no crime here. You can go anywhere, nothing happens. And then me and Don went dancing. The only one of the only times Natalie Holloway, one fucking white chick was.

[Big J Okerson]

Murdered that shocked the nation, Dude.

[Robert Kelly]

One white chick out of 60 years.

[Big J Okerson]

You think someone killing dawn wouldn't be national news?

[Robert Kelly]

No, because you'd have to have the husband be like, I have to find out who killed my wife. I would just take Max and move on. No, move to Aruba.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, you'd stay there.

[Robert Kelly]

I'd stay there and I'd solve the crime myself over years of just vacationing.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, what a great idea. And it was you the whole time.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it's. Dude, you. It's so. It was the best vacation I've ever been on. And here's the best part of it, because I've been. Max went there the first year he was born and every year since. So to look over at my son and see him driving the car like we rented the four wheeler. And you go on the back side of the island. One side of the island is all hotels and beautiful beaches and no waves and just breezy, beautiful white sand beaches. The other side is all desert and crazy waves and cliffs.

[Big J Okerson]

And what if you found out that every year since he was 7 years old, he gets excited to go back because he's got a kid there? He practices gay stuff with your Han.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

And that's why his name will be your Han.

[Robert Kelly]

Is that why every day he would have to leave at 4:30, 5:00 clock.

[Big J Okerson]

To go to the room to go gay off.

[Robert Kelly]

To gay off.

[Big J Okerson]

You were hoping he was masturbating, but he was masturbating. It was just with another guy's hand and mouth.

[Robert Kelly]

Was a guy or a kid his age? It's a big.

[Big J Okerson]

A kid his age.

[Robert Kelly]

A kid his age is fine.

[Big J Okerson]

They fell in love.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm fine. Is he blonde Dutch or is he like.

[Big J Okerson]

He's blonde Dutch. This is like Rags.

[Robert Kelly]

He's not a local or as Don.

[Big J Okerson]

No, no, he's a local as Don called him.

[Robert Kelly]

One time we did a helicopter ride. She goes, is that where the natives live?

[Big J Okerson]

Nice.

[Robert Kelly]

And I was like, holy shit, what a racist hunk of Boston shit you are.

[Big J Okerson]

God, I wish dawn went in there and said how to everybody. How, how, how funny.

[Robert Kelly]

We're in a helicopter flying over Aruba and she looks down and she sees like, the, the, the neighborhood. She goes, is that where the natives live? And I was just shaking my head like, you don't call them natives, you piece of shit.

[Big J Okerson]

She should have. Should have show them from the helicopter.

[Robert Kelly]

There's a place called. This is a sad thing that happened though, really, because we've been going there for 20 years and I really, I would buy a place there in a second. I wanted to buy a place there before the tiny house. I was trying to get her to buy a rental property in Aruba. And if we had did that, we'd be rich right now, by the way.

[Big J Okerson]

Unless it was the apartment where the guy hid Natalie Holloway's body.

[Robert Kelly]

There was no apartment. He buried her and he took her in a boat out to the ocean and dumped her body.

[Big J Okerson]

Brilliant.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

God, the Dutch are brilliant.

[Robert Kelly]

Really are we. We. We used to go to this place when we first got it called Baby beach. And the one side of the island was where the refi. The oil refinery was. And back when that, when Aruba had the oil refinery going, that was the pot. Saint Saint Nicholas I think it's called, is the. Is the popular part of the Aruba. The other place where all the hotels are now really wasn't that developed at all. The. Down at Baby beach was where the town was. That's where the red light district was. That's where all the discos were and all the restaurants.

[Big J Okerson]

Is there currently a red light district?

[Robert Kelly]

There is. It's still there, but that. When the oil, like, dude, they have a theater down at Baby beach where Frank Sinatra, Lucille Ball would. They'd fly him in to play for the oil execs and all that stuff.

[Big J Okerson]

When you say red light district, you mean prostitutes in windows?

[Robert Kelly]

Yep. Really not in windows. They're prostitutes in bars. So it's a little different. You go to a bar and the. You can get prostitutes. It's not, it's not illegal. It's like, it's like, it's.

[Big J Okerson]

They call it tolerated, but so it's. It is illegal, but they just don't care.

[Robert Kelly]

It's like weed. It's tolerated, it's not a big deal. But that place, when the oil refinery died, it fought. The whole area died. That whole area died. And then all the tourism went up to the other side where Eagle Beaches, the. Where the waves really weren't. Blah, blah, blah. So Baby beach, when we first started going, was nobody. It was like abandoned. There was a dive place where the theater was, was all blown out. The downtown was dead. And Baby beach, no, it was all locals. Nobody went down to that because it's like 40 minutes away. It's, you know, that part of Town, you know, the tourists didn't really go. No natives. Look at this. Look at that. So this is Baby Beach. And if you look, it's. It's literally. It's like a pool.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

And it's all. Look how beautiful that is. And we used to go there and nobody was there. It was just you and a few people that knew about it and the locals.

[Big J Okerson]

Do you see that? Shaped like the xenomorphs. Head of the alien.

[Robert Kelly]

Where? Oh, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

You see, that's fine.

[Robert Kelly]

That's weird.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, it's the head of the alien.

[Robert Kelly]

So, dude, that water is up. It only goes up to, like, your tits or your neck.

[Big J Okerson]

Like my pool.

[Robert Kelly]

So you can walk, right? You can walk all the way up. But when you see that little.

[Big J Okerson]

We have a baby beach in my house.

[Robert Kelly]

So. See the. Look at that photo above? See where it goes out? And there's like a little. The little walls out there. Christine, Bobby. Right there. Look at. No.

[Big J Okerson]

Did a. They would give you vacations for life. You came back here and did a tourism video for them.

[Robert Kelly]

I know. I want to. I.

[Big J Okerson]

Two days. You have been.

[Robert Kelly]

We talked about. For two seconds yesterday. And then we went off on a tangent on some weird shit.

[Big J Okerson]

Probably.

[Robert Kelly]

Absolutely. But, buddy, you. The best snorkeling in the world is right there. This is the sad part about it. All the houses up there were abandoned and there was, like, locals living there. Whatever. You could have bought a house for, like $300,000 right at that Baby Beach. Now. We went back this year, massive hotel up on the cliff, though. They're bringing back that whole part of town. That whole. That whole thing right now is packed with people. Everybody is going to Baby beach now. So it sucks.

[Big J Okerson]

Right now. Ray Allen is screaming at his radio going, shut up, Bobby.

[Robert Kelly]

Stop telling everybody.

[Big J Okerson]

This was his little place to go. I assume he was running from sex crime accusations here and he started spending a lot of time in Aruba, where I think sex crimes are legal. As we all know from Natalee Holloway, it's not.

[Robert Kelly]

No, it's not legal.

[Big J Okerson]

As long as you don't go to Peru, that's where they're gonna get you for it.

[Robert Kelly]

Sex crimes aren't legal. If you murder them, it's legal, but if you do them and not murder them and they stay alive.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, no. You can't let them be able to talk in court. That's crazy.

[Robert Kelly]

Look how beautiful that is, man. God damn it. I love that place.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, look, bud, now you're back in.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

New York City.

[Robert Kelly]

I know. Makes me sad. Aruba Ray, though, you'd fucking laugh. He is. His face is everywhere.

[Christine]

Really?

[Robert Kelly]

Go to. Go to Eagle Resort. I think it is Aruba Rays. There's. He has billboards of himself everywhere. Aruba Ray.

[Big J Okerson]

Really?

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

And it says Aruba Ray.

[Robert Kelly]

It has his face and he has a microphone like a, like a, like a gun pointed at you and it says mother F. Yeah, there it is right there. That's one of the big billboards right there. I mean he. He's not fucking around. Aruba Ray's Comedy Live Stand Up.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh my God, that picture makes me furious. First of all, that beard is color. That picture is from 25 years ago.

[Robert Kelly]

No, that's from last year. He just fucking puts medicine in it. He just. Yeah, he has medicine, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean he died the shit out of it.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh dude, his hair looks fucking. Yeah, I mean looks like, like a penny if you put light on it.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Very copper.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, Ray's got the long hair still, right?

[Robert Kelly]

Well, he keeps along here because he has that bit about Thomas Jefferson.

[Big J Okerson]

It's not a reason.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, it's not a good reason if you're working Aruba.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh man.

[Robert Kelly]

Like I've like, I've learned you have to do the ones that work when.

[Big J Okerson]

People get haircuts and then go, I know I look like whatever. It's like, well then change it. Yeah, you can't because it's never presented like, hey, I did this to look like a. They always go, I know you're looking at me thinking this looks like. And it's always just like, this is a completely chosen look.

[Robert Kelly]

You, you have, you've chosen to look like Thomas Jefferson.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I know I look like a Thomas Jefferson. I by the way, watched a YouTube video. It's in my history somewhere. It was a guy breaking down, I guess Leslie Jones hosted the Daily Show. Actually some of the stuff they had like the bits they had her doing like actually did kind of make me laugh. But it was just. I watched it from a video of a guy who's like definitely like a trumper anti woke kind of guy. And he was just like his insulting the whole time. He's just like, who thinks this is funny at all? It's just loud shouting, screaming and it just. He hates her so much and it's so funny.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, he.

[Big J Okerson]

Leslie. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, did you, did you see the, the video of the guy made of soda just trashing Rogan in his club of soda? Yeah. Dan. Dan.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, soda.

[Robert Kelly]

We were on the regs and we were Talking. He was kind of trashing.

[Big J Okerson]

He says that Rogan's. I saw a video. It said today it says, Dan Soder goes at what was it? Or takes down. It was something like that. It was like, it's obviously always. They make it sound much more vicious than it possibly.

[Robert Kelly]

I know we were talking about it on the regs and so it was like those bootlickers, Rogan's bootleggers, blah, blah, blah. He's talking about the club and how they say it's the best hang and blah, blah, blah. And me and Joe were like, we love the hang. We love. Elk Meek. We love. We love. We love. I just bought a bow and arrow. We were just, you know, because we compound.

[Big J Okerson]

Compound bow.

[Robert Kelly]

I did about two combos. So we were doing that. But this guy edited the video together. Like me and, Me and Joe were just kissing ass to Rogan. God forbid. We were joking around, busting balls on a. On a podcast. But Dan was like, nah, man. He's like, Dan is the only one that says it like it is.

[Big J Okerson]

And like that says like it was. By the way, I know Dan hates that because Dan's like, he doesn't want Rogan to be like that. He's all over him or the club.

[Robert Kelly]

No, he was, he was. He was just talking about he had a bad hang one time. And I mean, I love the hang at the Mothership because they give you the option of just being your room or opening it up to everyone.

[Big J Okerson]

That's a crazy option though. It's pretty cool to keep it just yours. It's pretty cool for you. And then pretty weird for everyone else. Going to be like, all right, I guess Bobby Kelly doesn't want to see anybody.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. But dude, if you don't want. If you want to just have the. Your crew in there. If you have a bunch of people and you don't want. You know, I don't. Dude, when you invite everybody in this, it's fucking. I don't smoke weed. I don't do all this fucking weird shit.

[Big J Okerson]

Sure.

[Robert Kelly]

So there's Sometimes I'm like, I don't. I'll just be with the people on my show. Let's just fucking hang out.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

And then people come in who know me. It's not like. But it's like that other room of all the open micros or whatever aren't coming in and just filling the place.

[Big J Okerson]

Sure.

[Robert Kelly]

Which I, you know, one time I was like, yeah, let everybody in. I don't give a shit. And there was another time I was Like, I just keep it closed for tonight, which is a cool option. You know, when you show up in a green room and there's just fucking people you don't know.

[Big J Okerson]

God, did you love Rogan so much?

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, dude, let me just tell you about Rogan.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm going next week. Do you want me to. Do you want me to give a kiss in the face for you?

[Robert Kelly]

I told Ari today. I go, hey, do me a favor. He's with. He's in there now. He goes, I gotta go meet Rogan. I go tell him I said hi. He goes, I'm not gonna do that. And I was like, why? Just go and say Bobby said. He goes, all right, let's act it out. I go, okay. He goes, you be me, I'll be Rogan. I'd be like, hey, Joe. He's like, yeah, what's up? I was just talking to Bobby. What? Yeah, I was like, all right, you know, don't tell him. Don't tell him what? Huh?

[Christine]

This clip that this guy did, it looks like it's Dan from like five different podcasts.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, it's from the regs, because we were with him on the regs about. And then on his show. I think it was on his show and then on. But the. The title to his. Dan Soda calls out Rogan Yes Men. And it's so stupid. And me and Joe are Dan Soda. Yes Men. I mean, Rogan yes man.

[Big J Okerson]

Bootlickers.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, bootlickers. I licked out lick the elk blood right off his boot.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm gonna go. I'm gonna hug his leg and never let go. Next week.

[Robert Kelly]

I just don't get it. It's like, look at me. Look at my face. That's such a perfect boot licking face. Look at.

[Big J Okerson]

You were made to lick boot.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, everybody.

[Big J Okerson]

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[Robert Kelly]

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[Big J Okerson]

It's because we're not in the Rogan sphere. Dude, I went through this last week on the show. I'm gonna take one last ditch effort next week of trying to get in the Rogan sphere. If I'm not officially let in by the end of that episode of Rogan, I'm just gonna be all ochre sphere.

[Robert Kelly]

Are you going in to do the show?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

With who?

[Big J Okerson]

Louis?

[Robert Kelly]

What story wars type thing?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I guess. I mean, but just really to we're doing Story wars in Austin.

[Robert Kelly]

Is he on it?

[Big J Okerson]

No.

[Robert Kelly]

Did you ask him?

[Big J Okerson]

We asked him last time.

[Robert Kelly]

And what he say?

[Big J Okerson]

Not my thing.

[Robert Kelly]

Not my thing.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

Telling stories.

[Robert Kelly]

Yep. That's fucking crazy.

[Big J Okerson]

It's not my thing. Hey, wanna do a stand up comedy show? It's not my thing. I think it is your thing.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, it is. Dude. Story wars is silly and fun and he doesn't seem like he's in Kill Tony silly. Yeah, but he got, I mean Kill Tony, you just kind of sit there and let other people do their thing and then you comment, right, Bobby?

[Big J Okerson]

It's hard to hear you with his boot on your tongue so hard.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, not on my tongue. It's actually I'm on top of his boot.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh yeah, you're sitting on it.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm licking the top of it. Oh, I'm a bootlicker. I'm not a. I thought you were.

[Big J Okerson]

Accepting inside of you now, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean listen, fact is you've never had elk meat, bro. You don't know what fucking elk we is. You don't have.

[Big J Okerson]

Not fresh off the elk.

[Robert Kelly]

You know, to shoot a compound bow, bro.

[Big J Okerson]

You're right about all these things.

[Robert Kelly]

I love Rogan. Did you get that?

[Big J Okerson]

Let me say that as a drop. Go ahead, say it.

[Robert Kelly]

I love Rogan. Love the club. Love going there. And I'm so glad that he put that. He let that elevator come back down and pick us all back up.

[Big J Okerson]

Throw a soda in there, Dan.

[Robert Kelly]

Soda?

[Big J Okerson]

Yep.

[Robert Kelly]

I love gay.

[Christine]

You really would seem to like doing Rogan things with Rogan. Whereas like Chain Dan. Not so much.

[Robert Kelly]

It's my. I mean dude, you and Lewis could.

[Christine]

Go Rogan out with Rogan.

[Robert Kelly]

Lewis wouldn't be able to do it. He wouldn't be able to do it because he, he can only do.

[Big J Okerson]

No, he would want to and go try though. I don't want to take a helicopter up to go shoot hippopotamuses from above.

[Robert Kelly]

I, I, I would love to go on a hunt with Rogan. I want to see like a, like a, like a hunt that you have to go out in the like for a week and maybe not come back with something.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow.

[Robert Kelly]

And live under like a, just not even a tent, like a, like a tarp.

[Big J Okerson]

Say you want to have sex with a guy without saying it, Bobby. I mean, geez, that's crazy. I just want to get take out hunting. Yeah, you just want to get away with them for a week. Away from everything. No, just the two of you.

[Robert Kelly]

I want to go hunt an Animal and. And field dress it and get the meat and bring it back and maybe cook some up for dinner.

[Big J Okerson]

This is all double entendre, by the way.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about, bro.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, you guys just grilled a couple of sausages.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, I don't. I don't know how you got him.

[Big J Okerson]

You can get them inside each other.

[Robert Kelly]

You can't make a sausage from on in the field.

[Big J Okerson]

Joe Rogan fan.

[Robert Kelly]

No, he doesn't make sausages.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes, he does.

[Robert Kelly]

You cut the back strap off, you.

[Big J Okerson]

Take the intestinal lining and you punch the shit out of the meat and stuff it into it.

[Robert Kelly]

You gotta clean. There's still shit in it. Dude, you can't. I've done research.

[Big J Okerson]

He knows how to do this.

[Robert Kelly]

I've done. He has. No, he does not.

[Big J Okerson]

You don't know that he knows this.

[Robert Kelly]

Buddy, I just want to go.

[Big J Okerson]

Joe Rogan spent time out in the field with Seal Team fucking 4 and 7, not 6.

[Robert Kelly]

It's weird.

[Big J Okerson]

Those guys are done. They did their job.

[Robert Kelly]

I would love to. I would love to do that. I would love to, but I'm never gonna because I'm not in the. I'm not in the Rogan sphere. You know what I mean?

[Big J Okerson]

I'm taking my last shot this week to get in it. This is it. I'm in the Rogan sphere.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I'm on in it.

[Big J Okerson]

Should I lie? Should I say things like, dude, I've been freezing myself lately? He loves shit like that.

[Robert Kelly]

I have. I have a cold plunge. I got one. No, I swear to God, I have one cold plunge. I have a cold plunge. It's plugged in. It's at 50 degrees Fahrenheit and I haven't gone in it in five weeks.

[Big J Okerson]

Isn't it supposed to be colder than that?

[Robert Kelly]

Yep, it is. Much 34, I think, or 38. 38 degrees or something like. I don't know, something like that. Yeah, I can't get in it.

[Christine]

Yeah, it's awful.

[Robert Kelly]

I got in it once and my feet hurt and I jumped back out.

[Big J Okerson]

It hurts so much, your feet.

[Robert Kelly]

But I'm. I'm keeping it going and by the end of the summer, once I get back on my tea.

[Big J Okerson]

Dude, you're gonna be so freezing. I. Do you get the one where you have to squat down it to your neck? Nope, it's a lay down.

[Robert Kelly]

I got a. It's. Yeah, you sit down and your feet. You sit down like. Like this. Like, almost like, you know, you lie on a couch.

[Big J Okerson]

Can you put Your feet out of it?

[Robert Kelly]

No, your feet stay in it. So you just kind of sink down. Your feet go straight. I got in my backyard. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

It's awful ice into it.

[Robert Kelly]

It's. No, I have a. I have a machine. A cooler.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

I bought a cooler that plugs into it with a filter.

[Big J Okerson]

Is it inflatable?

[Robert Kelly]

It's. It's that hard inflatable one. Do you know what I mean? No, they make, you know, they make rafts that are kind of mushy, and then they make really good rafts that are really hard and rubber that you inflate it and you can kind of stand on it.

[Big J Okerson]

Sure.

[Robert Kelly]

It's that one right there to the right. Yeah, like that. But like the white one. See the white one?

[Big J Okerson]

That's basically an actual cooler. You got into a cooler. I have a. Yeah, it's a bob. It's a person cooler. Keep one person cold for hours.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, you know what, man? This is how you're not going to get in the sphere. I mean, this, this, this negativity towards Rogan things.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, listen, I've thought about this choice. Christine has no interest.

[Robert Kelly]

I love it.

[Big J Okerson]

And I also fear that I will not make myself get in it.

[Christine]

Jay won't get in the pool when it's like 87.

[Big J Okerson]

She's not wrong.

[Robert Kelly]

Listen, I've had this thing for probably longer than six weeks. I got it when I got it, I think it was. It's got to be long because it was cold out when I got it. I didn't need the freezer.

[Big J Okerson]

How many days in a row?

[Robert Kelly]

I went one time, and as long.

[Big J Okerson]

As I've had it one time for how long?

[Robert Kelly]

One time I went for probably 25 seconds and jumped out. My feet started to hurt so bad.

[Big J Okerson]

Got to get past that.

[Robert Kelly]

You got to learn to get past it.

[Big J Okerson]

You're gonna hurt.

[Robert Kelly]

But I, I was like, you know what? I'm gonna work out. I'm gonna fucking get my tea going. I'm gonna man up and then we're gonna. I'm gonna six gear summer it and I'm gonna jump back in. It's gonna. Next couple weeks I'll be doing it. I'll be doing it now.

[Big J Okerson]

Is it bad for your body to cold plunge in that thing, the freezing ice bath. And then look at this, just chilling. And then you take the ice bath. Can you go right into like a hot thing afterwards? Well, I have that bad for your body.

[Robert Kelly]

I have the sauna.

[Big J Okerson]

We have a heart attack.

[Robert Kelly]

No, no, I have a saw it's good to do.

[Big J Okerson]

But what you want, you're gonna see that black ice keeps peering in. Hell yeah, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

You want to do.

[Big J Okerson]

Tell them that you've shot at Lloyd Banks once.

[Robert Kelly]

You want. You don't want to work out and do the cold plunge because it stops muscle growth. Yeah, you want a cold plunge before you work out. It gets your cold shock proteins up and gets you. Gives you, like, it drops your what? Your cold shock proteins.

[Big J Okerson]

What's that?

[Robert Kelly]

There's proteins that are released in your body, like red blood cells type things. And they. They. When you get your body down to that level of cold, it happens with heat, too. So if you got your sauna up to over 170, you get heat shock proteins that release, that actually heal your body and, you know. Yeah, there you go. Cold exposure.

[Big J Okerson]

Stress proteins are activated by cold exposure and help organisms cope with low temperatures and adapt to changing environments. Why is that good, I wonder?

[Christine]

That's like your body protecting you from the cold.

[Robert Kelly]

Your body releases, I believe, red blood cells that protects and goes and kills things and attacks things. Right. So you're tricking your body to kind of do these things. And when you go in. But if you go in after you work out, it will stop muscle growth. So it's not good if you're trying to build muscle. So you go in first, gives you energy. Go work out. After the workout, hit the sauna.

[Big J Okerson]

It does hype you up. Yeah, I did it only once, but the rest of that day I felt pretty alive.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

But it was. I hated it. It was unpleasant, to say the least.

[Robert Kelly]

It's. I did it in. I did the Russian spa in Chicago, and they have a cold plunge you walk into, and then they have the sauna, which is 200 degrees. Fucking crazy.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a Russian one. So they have that room where you can fight a guy with tattoos naked.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. And you can also have sex with a guy.

[Big J Okerson]

You get Eastern promise style. Fight a guy with his dork out.

[Robert Kelly]

But they. Yeah, it hurts your feet, dude. Like, if you go into the. When you go into the cold, plunge it. If it's cold enough. If it's like 38 degrees or whatever, it will. Your feet will hurt.

[Big J Okerson]

Your.

[Robert Kelly]

My.

[Big J Okerson]

I did it.

[Robert Kelly]

I had to get out, but I went in five times. So I went in. 20 seconds came out. 30 seconds came out.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, why would you put yourself through that initial thing again?

[Robert Kelly]

Because I went into the heat. The guy. I was in the sauna, and I'm.

[Big J Okerson]

Sitting there, oh, oh, that's the cold plunge.

[Robert Kelly]

This Guy. No, this guy was like. He was like, you come here. And he was. Just started talking to me. He was like, Russian, but he looked like Mongolian more than Russian. And he was. He was like, kim will follow me. And he took me into the cold plunge. And he goes, wait. And he, like, counted, you know. And he goes, okay, come back.

[Big J Okerson]

Penis inside body.

[Robert Kelly]

It was weird.

[Big J Okerson]

And time to move.

[Robert Kelly]

I really have no. This guy was just talking to me and telling me what to do.

[Big J Okerson]

You love it and love when a man tells you what to do.

[Robert Kelly]

Just don't.

[Big J Okerson]

Searching for daddy.

[Robert Kelly]

It's not that. I just have a hard time saying no.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. To your daddy.

[Robert Kelly]

No, I just. I don't know how to go. When the guy was like, you know, put your feet up. I was like, I don't know how to go. No, I don't want to do that.

[Big J Okerson]

You are.

[Robert Kelly]

That's why I'm not. Rogan's fear because.

[Big J Okerson]

Exactly.

[Robert Kelly]

Rogan says, no, not my thing.

[Big J Okerson]

Rogan also sees that you want him to be your father. You're. You're in a constant search for a dad figure. That's why you like the. What was the guy. You came in and you freaked him out. He's out of your life now because you.

[Robert Kelly]

Donnie Dust.

[Big J Okerson]

Donnie Dust, still talk to him. He's freaked out by you because you wanted to. You wanted to be your dad.

[Robert Kelly]

That's not true. He is still my friend. And I. I.

[Big J Okerson]

Not like you guys were.

[Robert Kelly]

We. No, we're still friends. I mean, not like it was, but whatever, dude. Don't eyebrow me, you piece of. It's. We're friends. Don't you know?

[Big J Okerson]

You want to get me up next weekend and teach me how to whittle? What?

[Robert Kelly]

I think I might go next year. He does a buffalo skinning with primitive tools. Obsidian knives and stuff like that. I might go out and do that.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

Will you go out? What?

[Christine]

I just. I'm really happy you and Jacob are in each other's lives.

[Big J Okerson]

What's going on? Are we in gangland warfare here?

[Robert Kelly]

What's happening?

[Big J Okerson]

What's his brother want? Straighten this out.

[Robert Kelly]

Who is it? Is it. Is it D.J. who? Kid? What? What is it? What's going on?

[Big J Okerson]

They had black talk.

[Robert Kelly]

What's up, dude?

[Big J Okerson]

Who was that guy? Black Wu. That is DJ Taj Black. DJ Taj. Yeah. I think he has the wrong studio, but he's looking for a tripod that.

[Robert Kelly]

He had in here before.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, Snow. He's accusing us white people of stealing. I guess we took it because we're White. Wow.

[Robert Kelly]

Is this it? No, it's a.

[Big J Okerson]

Like a big one.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, yeah, of course it's a big one. Of course, of course.

[Big J Okerson]

Is it this little tripod? No, I'm just kidding. Look up dj. Who? Taj. Taj, I'm guessing. Is he. Okay, let's see his work, because he keeps almost coming in the studio. DJ Taj, speaking of hip hop legends, I feel. When I said it to you, I feel like you're and Christine both.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Have real concerns about the possibility of bringing Max to see Wu Tang Clan run the jewels.

[Robert Kelly]

Why? I don't. Concerns about.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, you know. Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, he got that record last night. Was fucking in love.

[Big J Okerson]

No, no, I'm just saying for the show itself now, you know, it's gonna be. There's gonna be some black people there, Bobby.

[Robert Kelly]

I would. I would assume.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, but I just denied on stage.

[Robert Kelly]

I was. I assume that.

[Big J Okerson]

I'll tell you what you want to call racism out black Lou. Here's the. I'll get behind you on this one. Big no pit Madison Square Garden show seats all the way to the stage. Don't like that. Do not love that.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't mind that.

[Big J Okerson]

Come on.

[Robert Kelly]

What are you gonna do?

[Big J Okerson]

You're not gonna. No, but here's the thing. You're not gonna sit at all during the show. Maybe here and there for a second, but you're not gonna sit much, Right. Because everyone's gonna be standing, and now you're staying that, like, locked in right there. That sucks.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. But you don't have to worry about somebody kicking you in the face. Who's gonna kick you?

[Big J Okerson]

The face of Wuang Clan.

[Robert Kelly]

Maybe there's some karate. That's Wu Tang. Maybe the fifth level of Chai Chi or some. You know what I mean?

[Big J Okerson]

We're gonna get some goodies. We'll get some good seats.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, He. He was so excited.

[Big J Okerson]

Do you think he'd want to go?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, he'd love to go.

[Big J Okerson]

Are you gonna take them? You gonna bring him? What is this?

[Robert Kelly]

I brought presents from Aruba, dude. Oh, I'm not a piece of.

[Big J Okerson]

From the duty free. Okay. All right.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, what. I mean, what the does that mean?

[Big J Okerson]

It's tax free shopping. It's great.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, all right. I thought you were kind of trashing my gifts.

[Christine]

Do you guys want to hear?

[Big J Okerson]

Dj, I'm not trashing your gifts. You just. The presentation of gifts from Aruba make it sound like when you were going to Madame Jeanette, you went into some weird voodoo shop.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

But you got stuff at the duty free.

[Robert Kelly]

Always. Always do my shopping at the duty free. Because I know kind of what to get.

[Big J Okerson]

Tax free shopping.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Well, not tax free shopping. The good gifts in Aruba are at the airport. And this. This gift is for Christine. Here you go, Christine.

[Big J Okerson]

Is this Christine's duty?

[Robert Kelly]

And then I. That's for you.

[Big J Okerson]

What do you think it is?

[Robert Kelly]

And this is for us, for everybody.

[Big J Okerson]

In the studio, which is a giant milka bar, which is Alpine milk Dutch chocolate.

[Robert Kelly]

It's hilarious. Christine was like, I'd rather take the chocolate. Do you. I'll give you.

[Christine]

For everybody.

[Robert Kelly]

It is no that you have your gift. This is for the boys. No, you can't have this and that.

[Christine]

Bobby, that's awful.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, it's up to Jay and the boys if they want to do it. It's not my. It's their gift.

[Big J Okerson]

No, I don't want to share it with her.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, then you can't. You want. You're going to give that back. You don't know what that is. That could be, like, something.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. By the way. By the way, Christine's brain is so fat that she hasn't even thought of the chance that maybe that's a nicer piece of chocolate in there just for her. I want a definite chocolate.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

I want the definite candy, not the possible candy.

[Robert Kelly]

If you open it, it's yours. Christine. If you open it.

[Big J Okerson]

Wait, Christine, before you open it, did you open it yet?

[Christine]

Yeah. Oh, Coconut island.

[Robert Kelly]

What a bit killer aloe.

[Christine]

I love this.

[Big J Okerson]

She doesn't.

[Christine]

No, I do. Because they stopped making my favorite after sun lotion.

[Big J Okerson]

She just wants.

[Christine]

And I've been looking for something. I do want the chocolate, though.

[Robert Kelly]

Listen, it's not up to me because it's not my gift. It's Jay's.

[Big J Okerson]

Thank you.

[Robert Kelly]

Lose and lose gift.

[Big J Okerson]

I say no.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, so that's one. No.

[Big J Okerson]

Black, blue. She can have Jacob's part.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay. There you go.

[Big J Okerson]

No, no. Jacob's gets divvied up between all of us.

[Robert Kelly]

DJ Lou, I gotta say no for the bit.

[Big J Okerson]

Thank you. No, not for the bit. Because you do not respect Christine and don't think she needs the chocolate. Go on. You can say that.

[Robert Kelly]

It would be funnier for her to want it and not have it.

[Big J Okerson]

Right? Yeah. That is the funniest thing.

[Christine]

I will take the chocolate bar and run out of the street, go eat it all in the girl's bathroom by myself.

[Robert Kelly]

Again. Again.

[Big J Okerson]

Christina. The slowest person here. You'll never make it. You'll never. Who you Faster than you wow.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow.

[Big J Okerson]

You possibly believe that?

[Christine]

I don't know. I know I'm not stronger than you, but I might be able to get away from you.

[Robert Kelly]

What kind of shoes?

[Big J Okerson]

What kind of shoes you wear?

[Christine]

I'm in heels.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, no, he's in heels, too. Listen, the thing is, I was gonna.

[Big J Okerson]

Erase her on the break.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, you guys, I would definitely pick. I would 100% pick. Jay.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes?

[Robert Kelly]

If you're gonna. What are you wearing? What kind of shoes you were.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, I'm wearing sneakers.

[Robert Kelly]

You're wearing sneakers?

[Big J Okerson]

No, not like if you were nice or not like running sneakers of any kind.

[Robert Kelly]

If you were in your boots that are untied, I'd say her.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know, I wouldn't race anybody in boots. They're gonna come off. I don't tie them.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, but just see.

[Big J Okerson]

What size are you? Nine shoe.

[Robert Kelly]

You're a nine.

[Big J Okerson]

Look. Look at Lou trying to get his spank material up later. No S. Shoot. Is it stinky? You can wear my shoes at the.

[Robert Kelly]

Race if you need to. It's a. Is it an E or is. You got a wide foot. You got a regular foot?

[Christine]

I have a regular foot.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

Don't say her size is nine. Flintstone.

[Robert Kelly]

She starts. I do.

[Christine]

My feet are. I don't have, like, fat, wide feet, but my feet are a little wide. I have to be careful what shoes I pick.

[Big J Okerson]

Christine, do me a favor. Bring me off a little DJ Taj Jersey Club Spring mix. What's up, y' all?

[Robert Kelly]

It's Flo, Millie, and right now, you know, it's funny.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, God, Christine, you're not even a member of SoundCloud. How do we find all the newest rappers?

[Robert Kelly]

I taught Max how to haggle with jewelers in Aruba.

[Big J Okerson]

Really?

[Robert Kelly]

Well, you know, they have. When you go on vacation, they have all the jewelry stores, and, you know, they're. Whatever they. You think they're cheaper? They're not, but they can be if you haggle. So he was walking in to the Rolex place, the Breitling. He's walking in these places going, yeah, can I see that? He's trying on these, you know, $20,000 watches. And I'm just laughing because you're out of your mind. But he wanted a silver chain, so I was like, I'll. I'll buy you one for your birthday. I'll buy you a silver chain. But you have to negotiate. You can't just go in and buy it. So we went into one place, and he found it, and I was like, good. How much is Asthma. He's like, oh, it's 350. And I was like, no. You know, and he was like, no, how about. How about two? 250? And he. And then the guy was like, honda off. I'll do 260. And he was like. I was like. And he was like, nah. I was. You gotta walk away, dude. You gotta walk away. I go, we'll be back. And I go, go to another store, find the same chain, and say that guy would give it to you for 250. So he went. And he goes, the other guy's gonna be 250. He got the guy down to the original guy, down to 225.

[Big J Okerson]

Nice. Look at you teaching your son Jewish skills. In case the Jews rise up, you got to learn how to haggle. These folks.

[Robert Kelly]

You got to do. He got the. He got his little silver Italian bracelet, which I. It looks great on him, by the way.

[Big J Okerson]

Bracelet? Dude, he want a bracelet instead of necklace.

[Robert Kelly]

He wanted a bracelet because I got him. I got him a Swatch watch, which is Omega. Speedy made a Swatch watch. Swatch owns Omega. Omega is like, you know, a fancy, you know. Yeah, I have a. Well, they. Swatch owns all them, but Omega is a. I have a Speedmaster. It's the moon watch, they call it. It's like a really beautiful watch. And so I bought him. He. He likes my Speedy. So I bought him the Swatch version of it. And he wanted a little bracelet for his other wrist, so I bought him that too. Don't get mad at me because I'm buying. What the Am I gonna do? Am I taking it with me? It's my son. It. Who cares? And. And I'll melt that silver down if the world comes to an end. I'll fucking buy a rabbit with that thing.

[Big J Okerson]

Absolutely.

[Robert Kelly]

I bought. I bought Donna necklace, too.

[Big J Okerson]

Really?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. She's such a fucking nickel chaser with herself. We walk into a gold place. Gold. Right now, to get a good deal on gold is a good thing because gold is worth a lot of money right now.

[Big J Okerson]

No one cares about it in that regard.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude.

[Big J Okerson]

No one buys jewelry thinking about the metallic value of the.

[Robert Kelly]

But you can sell. You can sell. You can, because it's a precious metal. So when gold and silver is down, like, I bought silver coins, a lot of them, and I bought some gold coins when it was down. Now it's up. I double my money. So right now, if I had to, I could sell all my shit and make double of what I paid, which is. It's a Good deal. It's a good investment. And it goes up and down all the time. So over five years or 10 years, it goes up and down, up and down, blah, blah, blah.

[Big J Okerson]

You have to just bring a bag of coins somewhere, like the old West.

[Robert Kelly]

You just bring them to a place and they'll buy them. You know, I'm bringing to a jewelry store. Whatever. They'll buy them.

[Big J Okerson]

But a jewelry store buy gold coins?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, they'll buy. Of course, yeah, 100%. They'll buy gold.

[Christine]

Costco sells the gold bricks. You can buy.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, you can buy. You go to Costco and buy gold bricks.

[Christine]

I know. Uber driver telling me to stock up on gold bricks.

[Robert Kelly]

It's. It's a good investment to have because it's. It's actually like. So if you have $20,000, that's a lot of money to have. But if you bought $20,000 in gold, it's smaller. You can just take it and put it in your pocket.

[Big J Okerson]

Christine, I told you. I told you that we have to. We should have got a bigger house because we don't have room for a Scrooge McDuck diving gold room.

[Robert Kelly]

Buddy, I'm telling you, gold is a great investment just to keep in a safe and.

[Big J Okerson]

Buddy, who you telling. Yeah, I'm gonna have so much gold. I mean, it's a pretty bar.

[Christine]

I'm gonna buy one.

[Robert Kelly]

No, Christine, it's a thousand bucks, right?

[Christine]

Is it?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I think. Go back to it. The one you just went to.

[Christine]

That's all the same.

[Robert Kelly]

No, no. Click. It says the price on the back, I think, doesn't it?

[Christine]

Oh.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, no, that's. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Is that what that is?

[Robert Kelly]

It's an ounce of gold. Yeah, it's kind of small.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, But I'm gonna buy, like, Christine, I want to have, like, 100 of those in a safe with one of our guns sitting on top of it.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, that's where I have mine.

[Big J Okerson]

Absolutely. You hear me, Christine?

[Robert Kelly]

But I went. Don tried on a necklace. I was like, buy.

[Big J Okerson]

Get something, and I'm gonna get revolvers exclusively.

[Robert Kelly]

She goes.

[Big J Okerson]

To protect my gold.

[Robert Kelly]

She goes. She's like, I don't want. I don't need it. I go, will you just buy yourself something, for God's sakes? So I bought. She tried on this gold necklace, and it looked amazing on her. And she's like, I don't know. I just. I put my. I go, here, take it. I go, just pay for it. I buy it. And the guy was. The guy. Little fucking Indian dude snatched my card up Real quick. I bought her a beautiful gold necklace.

[Big J Okerson]

She's a native or an Indian.

[Robert Kelly]

It was an Indian.

[Big J Okerson]

How.

[Robert Kelly]

Not that how? No, the other way.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, that, that. How? Hello. He. Yeah. So I bought her this beautiful night. Wears it every single day since we. Since she got it.

[Big J Okerson]

She loves $3,300 actually. For that gold piece.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Gold is up, man. Right now. If. If you had bought gold like five years ago, you'd have so much money you could just go sell it and make a ton.

[Big J Okerson]

How much is an ounce of gold going down to?

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know. What is it now? What is it today? It goes up and down every day. What is it now?

[Big J Okerson]

$3,389.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I think it was.

[Big J Okerson]

Gave the stockpile gold. Christine. Only six shooter guns for us.

[Robert Kelly]

I was with Louis years ago when he went to his coin store and just bought a bunch of. He has, like when he gets cash gigs, he'll just go buy gold coins because it's easier to store in your safe. He is Jewish and He paid like 400 bucks for a gold coin or 500 bucks at the time. But now it's crazy.

[Big J Okerson]

In the last decade it's gone down to $1,000. Now it's $3,000. I'm also gonna get. When I get my six shooters. I'm gonna defend my gold by this kind of shooting where you just keep hitting the hammer with your hand. Your other hand.

[Robert Kelly]

Right. Here's the thing. Why don't you use. Get a gold gun.

[Big J Okerson]

Hang on. There's Indians out the window. Hang on, Bobby, I'm saving us. Okay? Get out of here, you lousy engines. You savage pieces of shit. There you go. All right. What were you saying, Bobby?

[Robert Kelly]

I would just get a gold gun. Oh, yeah, make the gun gold. That way the gun is in the safe.

[Big J Okerson]

Got Christ Mohicans coming down the road. Sorry, I gotta take him out. Kick this window out real quick.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you think.

[Big J Okerson]

Here they come. Listen up, you piece of shit. Godless.

[Robert Kelly]

Hang on.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, hang on. Pregnant one. There's a pregnant one. Hit her. Get out of here, you drum banging pieces of.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm sorry.

[Big J Okerson]

Go ahead.

[Robert Kelly]

Did you just kill a pregnant Indian woman?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, great. What was she doing?

[Big J Okerson]

She was walking back and forth, screaming and crying, holding her child, begging. I think what's please in Navajo.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, wait, that was an AVA hose. Now come now. The Mohicans are coming. Sons of Christine. Back me up, John. Woo. These trash hating Jay.

[Robert Kelly]

They took Christine out the back door.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, God, no. Well, she's Gone. There's not much I can do. I don't have a horse.

[Robert Kelly]

Christine would definitely be the. You go back a year later. She just totally assimilated.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, absolutely.

[Robert Kelly]

She has all. She's making jewelry with beads.

[Big J Okerson]

Just scarred up.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Crazy scars all over. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

She's wearing a skunk on her head.

[Christine]

Look at this chart.

[Robert Kelly]

She pretends like she doesn't know English. What is it?

[Christine]

I've danced in drum circles. This is a gold chart over the last 10 years. And like for four years it was pretty even. Then it went up a little bit. For four years is really even in the last year. It's shot up like double any other increase just in the last year.

[Robert Kelly]

What is silver? I want to. Because gold you can make money on, but silver bullion, if it does go up, you can make a lot of money because it's. It's so much cheaper. You know what I mean?

[Big J Okerson]

DJ Lou, go with me. Go. Go on with me. Let's liquidates turn all of our money in the bullion. How do you feel? You feel good about that?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I do.

[Big J Okerson]

Straight bullion too. When your girlfriend wonders why you can't go out to dinner, tell her in a few years this thing's going to spike and I'm going to cash in all this bullion.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

If she goes, are you hungry? Why don't you eat a piece of this? And then you shake your bag of bullion.

[Robert Kelly]

There's something about it when you hold gold, like a gold coins in your hand or silver coins.

[Big J Okerson]

It's psychotic. It's a.

[Robert Kelly]

No, it's not something about. Let me finish. There's something about it that makes you feel. I don't know, it just feels good to have gold because that's what the dollar is based on. Gold.

[Big J Okerson]

It's not anymore, though. I don't think. But it's also.

[Robert Kelly]

I love that you went, it's not anymore. I don't think. And I. And I brand. I went, I think it is me and you both are dummies that don't know.

[Big J Okerson]

I think we just gone beyond like printed money, beyond the gold.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, that's what it is.

[Big J Okerson]

But the thing I was gonna say about gold, that's what Stephen Singer said when he came in. It's just hilarious. Like buying expensive jewelry is. I mean, it's not that it doesn't hold its value. It can hold its value, but it's sort of stupid. Why you want it? You want. It's shiny and it's like a thing. It means nothing.

[Robert Kelly]

What do you mean? What are you talking about? It goes up and down like a.

[Big J Okerson]

Stock, but for no real reason. It's not because of its super use or anything.

[Robert Kelly]

Here's here. My theory of why gold is good is because instead of having cash, like have a bunch of cash under your bed, you can get two gold coins.

[Big J Okerson]

Mm.

[Robert Kelly]

So what was it much easier, $3,000. So if you have 6,000, $10,000, you could have two gold coins in your safe instead of $10,000, which is a crazy amount of money. You know what I mean?

[Big J Okerson]

I need to get a stack of 100 to put my gun on top of what? Like I said, make your bullions.

[Robert Kelly]

Make your gun out of gold. Then when you have to leave, you take the gold and the gun. You take them both at the same time.

[Big J Okerson]

What if I melt down the gun and I forgot there was still a bullet in it? And he goes, what if?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, but make the bullet out of gold too. Make your gold bullets. Make them silver bullets.

[Big J Okerson]

Make them silver bullets.

[Robert Kelly]

You run into a werewolf.

[Big J Okerson]

Werewolf. Or I believe a vampire would also hurt. Some lore, some lore, silver is no good for vampires.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't think it hurts them.

[Christine]

They just stab him with a cross in the heart.

[Big J Okerson]

Some. Christine, please. Men are talking. I'm telling you, this is vampire talk.

[Robert Kelly]

By the way, she's an Indian now, not one of us.

[Big J Okerson]

Sorry. Christine Hauntus. Krista Hauntes.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you understand what I'm saying though? Like, as far as keeping cash, do you have. Do you have cash? Do you keep cash or do you. Everything goes in the bank.

[Big J Okerson]

I will have cash soon. I'm very robable for the next year because I'm getting ready to do Governor's Long island where the guy pays me in casino style cash payment, just throws.

[Robert Kelly]

It in the money. He goes and they hand you a piece of paper in pencil in his writing. Check it out. You just like, I, whatever you give me, I'm taking. I'm not going to fight you.

[Big J Okerson]

And he goes, don't even report this to the taxes. I go, except there's so much to have to do that.

[Robert Kelly]

No, he doesn't, he doesn't do that. No, he doesn't.

[Christine]

He's like, you don't have to claim this.

[Robert Kelly]

It's like both of you could you.

[Big J Okerson]

He also told me he's a trash man, but I don't ever see him.

[Robert Kelly]

With a trash list of guys. Stop.

[Big J Okerson]

I do know most of his enemies turn up in weird car explosions.

[Robert Kelly]

It's. It's easier to keep money if you just Go buy. Take your cash, go buy a couple gold coins with it, and then you have it in your safe.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, I'm not an overachiever, Christine. Look, how much bronze costs?

[Robert Kelly]

No, don't do bronze.

[Christine]

Silver's pretty cheap.

[Big J Okerson]

I know, but silver, second place. I don't feel like I'm trying to overachieve. I just want to place. How much for bronze? Tons of bronze. And then I'll put my gun on top of bronze stacks.

[Robert Kelly]

Why don't you just get copper?

[Big J Okerson]

Ooh, we could get. Oh, Christine. How about this?

[Robert Kelly]

Wait.

[Christine]

Aren't copper worth a lot?

[Big J Okerson]

Yes. You open the safe, there's just a ball of. Just twisted up copper wire, and on top of that, our gun.

[Robert Kelly]

Let me ask you a question. How much is silver right now, Christine?

[Christine]

It looks like it's 34 an ounce.

[Big J Okerson]

Depends. Eclairs. Probably 10 bucks for a pair of earrings.

[Christine]

34.65 an ounce, but it went up.

[Robert Kelly]

Is it up right now or is it down?

[Christine]

Way up. Look, it's 2020. It's like it's gone from. It's doubled.

[Big J Okerson]

Let's rob eclairs.

[Christine]

But look, it dipped way down here.

[Robert Kelly]

It dipped way down. But it goes. That's the one thing. You just keep it. And it goes up and down.

[Christine]

What happens when all of a sudden, like with Jason, where all of a sudden one day realize that, like, it is worthless and, like, why is it worth anything? Then you have all this gold, and no one cares anymore because they've moved on to bitcoin.

[Robert Kelly]

Just make a necklace. Make a fucking nice necklace.

[Big J Okerson]

That's it.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, dude. That happens. You guys are getting silver chains for Christmas.

[Big J Okerson]

Yay. I'll take it. I know. We have to go.

[Robert Kelly]

That's it. We're done.

[Big J Okerson]

That's it. We're all done. We learned about Aruba. We learned about Bobby's plans to move to Aruba. And unfortunately, unfortunately, Bobby was molested over and over and over.

[Robert Kelly]

I was not molested ever. I never got well. Not ever. But listen, not in juvie.

[Big J Okerson]

Not in juvie. Yeah, that's where you did the molesting.

[Robert Kelly]

I didn't molest anybody.

[Big J Okerson]

And then people hurt people.

[Robert Kelly]

No, I didn't hurt. I'm not hurt.

[Big J Okerson]

Bobby's gonna be working that trauma out on stage. Dojo Comedy. Mars Plains, New Jersey, this weekend. Friday and Saturday after that. Portland, Maine and Rochester, New York, are both on deck for tickets and all of it tour dates. You go to Punchup Live. Robert Kelly. Make sure you catch him every Tuesday night. You're gonna take Some off, though.

[Robert Kelly]

You said take them off, baby.

[Big J Okerson]

Some Tuesdays off.

[Robert Kelly]

Taking Tuesdays off.

[Big J Okerson]

Come hang out.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Big J Okerson]

And see Wu Tang and Wu Tang.

[Robert Kelly]

Big J's gonna be this weekend at Governor's Levittown getting cash gold, cashola buon. Get some bullion. The sixth and the seventh, Friday and Saturday night after that, San Diego, Charlotte, Tacoma. For tickets and all other tour dates, check out BigJComedy.com and check out Punchup Live BigJokerson and his specials that are available right now on YouTube. Two of them, Brand new. Killing it them day them they make sure you check them out and go to Bonfire. We have our podcast is releasing new episodes Tuesdays through Friday on all major platforms. Download, rate, review, subscribe, wherever you listen. It helps us out.

[Big J Okerson]

Big Jim at the Bonfire SXM and all social media, even Tick Tock and Twitch. Twitch? What is that? Is that just Black Blue playing video games in his underwear?

[Robert Kelly]

Are you on Twitch?

[Big J Okerson]

What a slut. What a. We love you guys. We'll have our Jacob, our sweet Jacob back on Monday, I believe.

[Robert Kelly]

Love, Jacob.

[Big J Okerson]

That's kind of condescending.

[Robert Kelly]

I love Jacob.

[Big J Okerson]

Probably didn't mean it.

[Robert Kelly]

I love him.

[Big J Okerson]

Bobby, it's okay. It's your trauma, you know what happened to you.

[Robert Kelly]

You're right. Hurt people, hurt people. And guess what you're doing right now? Hurting.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm emotionally raping you.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, you know what? I don't like that. Your tea's up in my. My estrogen's up, my T's down.

[Big J Okerson]

Kids are looking great.

[Robert Kelly]

I gotta get. I gotta get back on my tea to deal with you.

[Big J Okerson]

We'll catch you guys Monday. Have a great weekend. Crackle, crackle.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, everybody. Ted Danson here to tell you about my podcast with my longtime friend and sometimes co host, Woody Harrelson. It's called where everybody knows your name. And we're back for another season. I'm so excited to be joined this season by friends like John Mulaney, David Spade, Sarah Silverman, Ed Helms, and many more. You don't want to miss it. Listen to where everybody knows your name with me, Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson. Sometimes, wherever you get your podcasts. Did you know 39% of teen drivers admit to texting while driving?

[Christine]

Even scarier, those who text are more likely to speed and run red lights.

[Robert Kelly]

Shockingly, 94% know it's dangerous, but do it anyway. As a parent, you can't always be in the car, but you can stay connected to their safety with greenlight.

[Christine]

Infinity's driving reports.

[Robert Kelly]

Monitor their driving habits, see if they're using their phone, speeding, and more.

[Christine]

These reports provide real data for meaningful conversations about safety.

[Robert Kelly]

Plus, with weekly updates, you can track their progress over time. Help keep your teen safe. Sign up for Greenlight [e-mail] podcast.