Podcast Summary: The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly – Episode: "Bum-chucks"

Release Date: December 13, 2024

1. Introduction to Yacht Rock Documentary

The episode kicks off with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly delving into their recent viewing of a yacht rock documentary available on Max's Music Box platform. Big Jay shares his thoughts on prominent figures in the genre:

• Big Jay (01:33): "I watched yesterday the yacht rock documentary... Michael McDonald should have held together. He's too fat now to be Michael McDonald."

He praises Christopher Cross, referring to him as "one of the most badass dudes ever" for stepping in to fill Richie Blackmore's role during a Deep Purple performance.

• Big Jay (04:34): "Christopher Cross may be a fucking badass. Why is Christopher Cross sailing? Maybe one of the most badass dudes ever."

2. Authenticity of Thundercat's Music Video

A significant portion of the discussion centers around Thundercat's "Heart to Heart Live" video. The hosts debate whether the portrayal of an armless samurai is real or a product of CGI:

• Robert Kelly (15:03): "He has arms. But do. Yes, you can."

• Big Jay (16:03): "They faked his arm missing... That's why this."

The conversation becomes heated as they argue over the authenticity, with Robert insisting that the individual genuinely lacks arms, while Big Jay remains skeptical.

• Robert Kelly (19:04): "He has arms."

• Big Jay (21:11): "So he lost his arms and he gained a weird amount of weight."

Ultimately, they conclude that the armlessness is a character portrayal rather than a real-life condition.

3. Opinions on Machine Gun Kelly

The hosts shift their focus to contemporary artists, specifically Machine Gun Kelly (MGK). Robert expresses his appreciation for MGK's music, while Big Jay offers a contrasting viewpoint:

• Robert Kelly (40:21): "I like that music."

• Big Jay (40:28): "Machine Gun Kelly's terrible."

• Robert Kelly (40:22): "He's a tool. I agree. He's a tool."

Their differing opinions highlight the subjective nature of music appreciation within the comedy duo.

4. Critique of Questlove

Questlove, the renowned drummer and member of The Roots, becomes the next topic of contention. Both hosts share critical remarks about his persona and appearance:

• Big Jay (24:25): "He smells like French toast."

• Robert Kelly (26:00): "He lost a lot of weight, though. He did lose weight."

• Big Jay (32:53): "He looks like Cornell north, east, and South. All the other Cornells rolled into one."

Despite recognizing Questlove's talent, their mockery centers on his style and public persona.

5. Sexual Banter and OnlyFans Proposal

The episode takes a more explicit turn as the hosts engage in playful yet crude sexual banter. They brainstorm humorous and outrageous ideas for creating OnlyFans content, involving nunchucks and exaggerated sexual acts:

• Big Jay (57:26): "Nunchucks up our asses is the most original idea in all pornography."

• Robert Kelly (58:37): "We call them bum chucks. I bet somebody already did that."

The conversation serves as a comedic exploration of pushing boundaries within adult content creation.

6. Conclusion and Final Remarks

As the episode wraps up, Big Jay and Robert Kelly reflect on their discussions, blending humor with candid opinions. They maintain their signature blunt and unfiltered style, ensuring listeners are entertained through their offbeat and often controversial commentary.

Notable Quotes:

• Big Jay (01:33): "Michael McDonald should have held together. He's too fat now to be Michael McDonald."

• Robert Kelly (15:03): "He has arms. But do. Yes, you can."

• Big Jay (24:25): "He smells like French toast."

• Big Jay (40:28): "Machine Gun Kelly's terrible."

• Big Jay (57:26): "Nunchucks up our asses is the most original idea in all pornography."

This episode, "Bum-chucks," exemplifies Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly's dynamic as they navigate through music critiques, personal opinions on celebrities, and unrestrained comedic exchanges. Their candid discussions offer listeners an unfiltered look into their perspectives, making it a memorable installment in The Bonfire series.