Busty Fans & Stage Rat

Summary

The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode: Busty Fans & Stage Rat
Date: June 5, 2026
Source: SiriusXM Faction Talk 103

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Episode Overview

This episode of “The Bonfire” finds Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly in top form, riffing on their lives on the road, backstage shenanigans, and current comedy controversies. With their hallmark unfiltered banter, they cover everything from wild fan encounters and stage mishaps to hot-button debates about the state of comedy, cancel culture, and recent industry drama. Listeners get a front-row seat to the inner workings of stand-up life, peppered with the hosts’ signature self-deprecation, mischief, and inside-baseball observations.

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Key Discussion Topics & Insights

1. Memorial Day, History, and Teddy Roosevelt

• Bobby & Jay open by riffing on Memorial Day's origins.
  After Bobby inaccurately claims that Black Americans "made up Memorial Day" (01:45), Christine fact-checks and confirms its origins with formerly enslaved Black Americans in 1865 (02:22).
• Teddy Roosevelt admiration:
  Bobby shares that he spent the weekend watching a documentary marathon about Teddy Roosevelt, calling him the first "rock star president" (03:12), while Jay jokes about the historical White House naming sounding "racist" (03:43).

“He was the first. He's the bully pulpit. He invented that. Just going out in front of a crowd and standing on a table and talking.”
— Robert Kelly (03:27)

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2. Bobby’s New Orleans Comedy Adventure

• Fan Encounters — "Busty Fans"
  Bobby describes a memorable post-show interaction in New Orleans, where a fan's wife in the front row caught his eye for her "best cans I've ever seen" (05:16). He jokingly admits to having intrusive thoughts seeing women in tube tops and reminisces about old-school comic audience dynamics.

“They were just my type of can, you know what I mean? The big juicy, natural fatties.”
— Bobby Kelly (05:22)

• Stage Surprise — The Theater Rat
  After getting off stage at the Howlin’ Wolf, Bobby learns he’d just missed witnessing a massive rat run right behind him—and the whole audience saw it, nobody warned him (06:36). Jay says he’d have ended the show had he seen it (07:03).

“A two-foot rat ran… right behind me during my set and nobody said shit to me!”
— Bobby Kelly (06:47)

• Show Merch with a Heart
  Bobby details his gig posters—handing out only 25 per night, pay-what-you-want, signed for fans, highlighting his appreciation for the supportive "Bonfire" crowd (08:00).

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3. Relationships, Temptation, and Comedy Life on the Road

• Joking About Cheating
  Bobby jokes about being "on the cusp of cheating" (09:03) due to the enticing crowd. He urges Christine, Jay's partner and the show's producer, to introduce him to her "reformed slut" California friends for some fun.

• Fans and Boundaries
  Lighthearted discussion about where the line is between being a fan and crossing boundaries, with Jay escalating the bit to, “A real fan will let you suck on one of them while she jacks you off” (10:05).

• No Sex, Just Comedy
  Bobby clarifies he had a great weekend but “no sex, no nothing” (08:55), reinforcing the sometimes-monastic reality behind comedy's wild reputation.

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4. Gigs, Backstage, and Technical Fails

• Rats, Roaches, and Restaurant Adventures
  Bobby laments NOLA’s pests—giant rats in theaters, cockroaches in restaurants, pondering whether "gumbo" just means “I don't know what's in there” (13:36).

• Studio Tech Woes
  Ongoing issues with Bobby's microphone producing mysterious "gurgles" (14:03), leading the hosts to joke about SiriusXM’s outdated setup (14:43).

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5. Comedy Scene Gossip: Austin & VIP Life

• Jay in Austin
  Jay recounts the overwhelming, club-heavy nightlife with the Gas Digital crew, Tony Hinchcliffe, Joe DeRosa, and others (16:22). He dislikes the “nightclub scene” — “not my scene at all” (17:01), preferring quieter, more authentic hangs.

“If you're not gonna be there... the only reason to be there is to dance. If you can't communicate, you're just there to be seen and to be VIP.”
— Big Jay Oakerson (22:41)

• Influencer Moments
  Jay films his “Irish goodbye” leaving a club, chest-cam style, to prove to friends how much he hated the scene (22:48). Bobby: “I am so proud. This is great” (23:04).

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6. Comedy Industry Drama: Roasts, Backlash, and Cancel Culture

a) The Kevin Hart Roast & Fallout

• The hosts discuss recent controversy from a roast event associated with Kevin Hart, where jokes about George Floyd and Charlie Kirk sparked major backlash (32:00). They debate Kevin’s responsibility as producer and the audience's selective outrage.
• Notable: Jay wonders if Howard Stern “even mentioned me?” to a laugh (34:23).
• Discussion on comedic limits and hypocrisy in how certain jokes (e.g., about fat people) remain socially acceptable.

“If the people laugh, it’s fucking funny. That’s it.”
— Robert Kelly (45:46)

b) Chelsea Handler & Shane Gillis

• They dissect Chelsea Handler’s complaints about being called “old and a whore” at the roast and Shane Gillis's ice-cold “death blow” comeback: “Come see me July 17th, the football stadium in Philly. We’re all rooting for her.” (49:41)
• The hosts gleefully highlight the hypocrisy of comics now demanding "limits" after careers built on irreverence—“You should shut your face as a comedian if someone is trying to be funny” (45:46).

c) D.L. Hughley Feud — Fat Jokes & AI Memes

• Jay describes D.L. Hughley’s lackluster “fat jokes” in response to their beef, and the peculiar inclusion of AI-generated images (52:23).
• Humorous reflection on being an easy target for fat jokes, and returning the favor with high-spirited roasts.

“I will take partial credit that I am the one who brought D.L. Hughley back to trying to be funny again.”
— Big Jay Oakerson (55:36)

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7. Old School Comedy, Body Positivity, and Flying While Fat

• Fat Jokes and Social Acceptability
  Extended riff on body positivity, fat shaming, flying “while fat,” and how fat jokes are still "safe" targets—Jay explains the art of airplane seatbelt subterfuge (39:32), and both share horror stories about seatbelt extenders and travel humiliation.
• Anecdote:
  Bobby tells of smuggling his own United Airlines seatbelt extender onto Delta flights (41:11).

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8. Comedy Philosophy & Evolution

• Comics Policing Comedy
  Both express disdain for established comics who shift to “policing” jokes after building careers on them. Jay: “Give the money back!” if you regret your edgier material (46:37).

• Roast Joke Construction
  Analysis of how the best roasts are personal and crafted by the comic, not crowd-sourced or sanitized (35:18).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Memorial Day Origins: “Memorial Day was brought to us by the black people… 1865.” — Big Jay & Bobby riffing, fact-checked by Christine (02:22)
• Fan Appreciation: “Shows were all great. A lot of Bonfire fans came out, was great.” — Bobby Kelly (07:40)
• Rat Sighting: “A two-foot rat ran… right behind me during my set and nobody said shit to me!” — Bobby (06:47)
• Comedy Philosophy: “If the people laugh, it’s fucking funny. That’s it.” — Bobby Kelly (45:46)
• Roast Deconstruction: “You did the roast. I think the way roast should be done. You wrote it yourself. It's personal between you and him. You were edgy, but not too crazy, and it was all funny.” — Bobby Kelly to Jay (35:13)
• Cancel Culture Take: “You should shut your face as a comedian if someone's trying to be funny.” — Bobby Kelly (45:46)
• On Club Scene: “The only reason to be there is to dance. Otherwise you’re just there to be seen and to be VIP.” — Jay (22:41)
• About Fat Jokes: “Fat people will bring the funny out of people… It's a big canvas.” — Jay (55:44, 55:52)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• Memorial Day & Teddy Roosevelt — 01:32 to 03:45
• Bobby’s Busty Fan Story — 05:16 to 06:13
• The New Orleans Stage Rat — 06:36 to 07:08
• Gig Posters & Fan Interaction — 07:44 to 08:50
• Comedy Relationships & Temptation — 09:00 to 10:29
• Austin Scene & “Irish Goodbye” — 16:22 to 23:13
• Comedy Roast, Backlash & Kevin Hart — 30:03 to 35:13, resumed at 32:00–37:37
• Chelsea Handler Roast Fallout — 47:00 to 50:26
• Fat Shaming, Seatbelt Stories — 37:36 to 44:09
• D.L. Hughley Feud & AI Funnies — 51:39 to 54:39
• Comedy Philosophy & Old-Guard Hypocrisy — 45:46 to 47:11

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Recap & Episode Tone

This episode’s tone is irreverent, intimate, and inside-jokey, with the hosts mixing road stories, industry gossip, and pointed (if playful) social commentary. Both Jay and Bobby are at their best responding to current events with biting wit and humility about their own limitations. Fans get behind-the-scenes tales, a snapshot of comedy’s culture wars, and the sense of camaraderie that defines “The Bonfire.”

Transcript

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[B]

I did not. Not to toot my own horn, but that was. That was pretty good. Dude. I could bring that to the club.

[A]

I was letting you cook.

[B]

I could bring that to the club. 55, baby. Going on 56. I still got it.

[A]

Oh, you still got the good stuff.

[B]

I'm out of breath, though. I think it hurt my name.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

Mama Niscus.

[A]

Sad injury. Hey, everyone, it's the bonfire faction talk series XM103. We're back.

[B]

Hope you had a great Memorial Day. God bless the troops. I'll say it. Nobody else will.

[A]

Oh, yeah. God bless the troops.

[B]

God bless the troops. You know the first people for Memorial Day? Do you know the history? Anybody?

[A]

Yeah, the blacks. What about the blacks?

[B]

They made up Memorial Day when they came back from the war. They were like, hey, man, we want to celebrate.

[A]

Well, I would have guessed Hispanics if we're gonna say a fiesta of some sort, but

[B]

hey, like those little.

[A]

Memorial Day was brought to us by the black people.

[B]

Black people.

[A]

Fact check that, Christine.

[B]

Black people. All right, whatever. Christine, you know what sucks about you is your. You have no influencing ability. You should have been a lawyer, okay? Or a producer. Oh, wait. Oh, wait. You did good, Christine.

[A]

It is a tick tock. It is. I'm sure it's the same tick, but it looks like tick tock is correct. It was formed by or organized by formerly enslaved black Americans.

[B]

That's right.

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1865.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

They exhumed Union soldiers from a mass grave to competitive prison camp to Give them a proper dignified barrel. So it was still kind of slave work, unfortunately.

[B]

Well, I mean, they had to do the. Get it. Yeah, yeah. The time. We've changed.

[A]

He goes, no, we're going to. We're going to learn our lesson after this part.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm not digging all these bodies up.

[B]

I love Memorial Day. I love it. I love it. I love when we. We shout out the troops. I love it. I love the troops, man.

[A]

You're such a Memorial Day slut.

[B]

I love it. I actually spent all weekend watching a God. An hour documentary on Teddy Roosevelt.

[A]

You spent a whole weekend watching a one hour documentary?

[B]

It wasn't one hour. It's not an hour.

[A]

You just said that.

[B]

No, it was hours. I'm sorry. Hours. The Roosevelts, dude, what a. One of the best presidents ever. What a co. First rock star president, by the way.

[A]

What does that mean? Like a shred?

[B]

No, like, you know, Kennedy, Obama, they were kind of rock stars. Like, they just showed up to see him speak. He was the first. He's the bully pulpit. He invented that. Just going out in front of a crowd and standing on a table and talking. He actually named the White House. The White House. Wasn't named the White House until then.

[A]

Sounds racist.

[B]

The Executive House. He was a little racist. He did not stick up for the blacks that much.

[A]

You know, black guy no good.

[B]

Well, Jacob, I don't say it that way like a baby racist.

[A]

Oh, pee pee on the street. Black guy. Oh, Jacob. Doesn't sound good.

[B]

I was. I was in New Orleans this weekend. Dude, I'm on stage. Didn't even know it. I'm on stage at the Howling Wolf. Great time. Love the love.

[A]

New Orleans was a cool venue.

[B]

Great venue. Both venues. Crescent Theater was amazing.

[A]

Saw your clips.

[B]

And then I'm on stage and as soon as I come off. I mean, great crowd, A lot of bonfire fans. There's one dude showed up, they had Melissa and hot Choppalopolis shirts on. Oh, which was hilarious.

[A]

I wonder how they chose to spell

[B]

chop A. I know. It's hey, Melissa. Not Hot Choppalos. Marshmallows and he Melissa.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Hot Chopolis. You're taking out. You're throwing a dart at that spelling.

[B]

Oh, God, I can spell it.

[A]

H O P A L O P.

[B]

Choppalopolis.

[A]

O L, I S L I S. There it is.

[B]

It is now and forever Choppalopolis.

[A]

C H O P A Choppa. Choppa L O P, Lop O list. Chop O lop olis Chapalopolis.

[B]

Ha Chopalopolis.

[A]

I think I got it. I think I got it, dude.

[B]

His wife was in the front row with the best cans I've ever seen.

[A]

Oh, God, ever.

[B]

They were just my type of can, you know what I mean? The big juicy, natural fatties.

[A]

Blue manes.

[B]

Yeah. A couple on the inside, you know, I mean, but you did tan to get a, you know, most of them out. Oh God, did I. I just want. I have a hard time not just grab. Doing. Just sticking your hand like I. The. The intrusive thoughts, you know what I mean? When you see a chicken, a tank top, like a tube top. I can't be around him. I got to walk away.

[A]

Really.

[B]

I just want to pull it down.

[A]

That is intrusive thoughts. I would never even know. I've never had an intrusive thought like that.

[B]

Oh, I love the tube top. To me is just begging for.

[A]

Never slapped a strange woman's ass or grabbed a woman's ass or.

[B]

You don't know, her waist or anything missing.

[A]

Yeah, no, I need to get there and start harassing women more.

[B]

Yeah, you do.

[A]

You gotta give them. They take it.

[B]

They used to.

[A]

They're so. Well, take it seems.

[B]

No, if you go to my Instagram, they have her titties on it. It's so good. They're so juicy. But then I'm on stage at the. The Howling Wolf and as soon as I walk off, they're like, did you see it? I'm like, what? You didn't see it? I'm like, what are you. You talking about a rat? I guess like a two foot rat ran.

[A]

That's called something else. Like a nutria.

[B]

No, it wasn't a nutria. It was just a big theater rat. New Orleans theater rat. Just.

[A]

It's an Astoria rat.

[B]

When I was running, when I was on stage, it just ran right behind me. And everybody saw it and nobody said shit to me. Nobody said shit ran. And it was like this big, like that big. And it just ran behind me and ran off stage right in the middle of my set. And I'm up there going, marshmallows.

[A]

I thank God. If I would have saw it, I would have ended the show.

[B]

Oh, you don't.

[A]

Oh, really close the stage.

[B]

It ran right behind me.

[A]

I'll never stop thinking about it.

[B]

Those are nice jugs, huh?

[A]

The pink purple dress here. Pink dress, yeah, yeah. Those are big fat titties for sure.

[B]

I mean, front row, right? Those are big fat Doug Dougs.

[A]

Those are gnats. You think?

[B]

I asked her. She said natural Titties, man. You could tell? Yeah, you could tell that now. I mean, God, I like boobs, man. I gotta stop taking oh statement. I'm edgy today, kid. I'm going on the edge.

[A]

He goes, God, you know what, dude? Fuck the world. I love tits.

[B]

I love big boobs.

[A]

Fuck the world, dude. Shows were all great.

[B]

Shows were great. A lot of bonfire fans came out, was great. I, I made a bunch of gig posters for these shows. Just, you know, little 25. I was like, listen, take one, give what you want.

[A]

I don't care if you nation based.

[B]

I just do. Give what you want. I don't. If you can't have no money, just grab it. I'll sign it. I don't care. I don't, I don't need to, I don't need to gouge.

[A]

I like that though.

[B]

I do too, man.

[A]

It's what Dylan does with his stickers.

[B]

Yeah. Didn't you tell me to do it?

[A]

Well, I may told you that's what Dylan does.

[B]

I don't know. Yeah, well, yeah, I just made gig posters for these venues. I had an artist do it, he really good artist I found who found me on the Internet and he's great and it's cool, I like it.

[A]

You make a limited amount or do you make a ton?

[B]

25. Just made 25.

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That's smart.

[B]

That's it. 25 and take what you want. Yeah, they're all gone.

[A]

I guess you can't say sold out when you tell people they could have them for free. If you're gonna only make 25, maybe sell them all for sure. If you're gonna make like, you know, 400 prints.

[B]

I actually had 15 left each night.

[A]

Anyway, you want a poster, I can make it personally out to you, Jacob, if you'd like.

[B]

Yeah. Good weekend. No sex, no nothing.

[A]

Does that usually

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I'm on the cusp of cheating.

[A]

Yeah, you're right there.

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Don't look at me, Christine.

[A]

You're like right there.

[B]

Yeah, why don't you get somebody for me so we can keep a cute tea. Why don't you get one of your fucking weird friends from California that likes a little fucking like Kama Sutra shit? You probably know one of those weird yoga kamas. Find the male G spot dudes.

[A]

I think most of her old LA friends used to be sluts.

[B]

Yeah, get one of your sluts to come over for the weekend.

[A]

I don't know if they're sluts now.

[B]

Let me just hang out and see what happens. You keep your trap shut. I'LL go downstairs to Jay's studio.

[A]

I think they were Formed Sluts. Formed Sluts Reformed.

[B]

Oh, reformed. Nothing better than break one of those shaky bitches.

[A]

Oh, maybe. Yeah, that's not a bad idea.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Okay. I like it. Now watch a little. Got you on the cusp this weekend. Those big, fat, huge titties. Because she had a guy with her.

[B]

She did. And the guy's huge. And he's a really great guy. Both those guys are awesome. And they're fans of the show and fans of mine. And I love you for coming out, but you should have. If you're a real fan. You would. If you let me see one of those. One, one.

[A]

No, a real fan will let you suck on one of them while she jacks you off.

[B]

Now we're talking. Now we're opening.

[A]

And then I ask you this, Bobby, is that even cheating?

[B]

I don't know what's cheating.

[A]

I don't suck in one jug while you get beat off with this grip where her thumb and finger are bashing into your body.

[B]

Not cheating. It's more of a massage.

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Yeah, it's just keeping you straight on the road.

[B]

Yeah, I think. You know, I'm gonna start injecting Donald. My testosterone.

[A]

Why you wanna start making out with someone with a mustache?

[B]

Yeah.

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Trying to get some back hair on that girl.

[B]

Well, anyways, they were really, really cool. Both venues are cool. Fans showed up, had a blast. Except for that rat. The rat fucked me up. I just don't like that they didn't. Someone didn't scream. I guess they're used to it.

[A]

There we go. She's a rat. Yeah, but it was.

[B]

Dude, it's this big. It's not even a mouse. It's a I right there. And they actually have a video of it. They put it up.

[A]

I went out to eat, only in one place in New Orleans with, like, the Burt's Crew people, to get the. That's why I tried the gator. That was really good in that restaurant. Like, a rat ran straight through it on the floor. And if I was alone, that would have been it. I'd have left immediately. Food order and everything. I just immediately would have left.

[B]

You would have left.

[A]

Everybody else wanted to stay.

[B]

I went to gumbo. I went for gumbo. And yeah, there's a rat right there. Look at it now. If. Look at that thing. Dude, it's flying. It runs right along the bottom. It's right there. And if you do a perspective to the chair, it's this big.

[A]

Oh, I see it moving? Yeah.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

That's disgusting.

[B]

We're at the. I wanted to get gumbo, right? Because when I first went to New Orleans, I got gumbo. I went down to be whatever that street is.

[A]

Bring some back for the rat.

[B]

But I. I was like, I want. I want gumbo. Because I kind of trashed New Orleans a long time ago when I went to the first, because it was like seafood. I don't know. It was just watery gumbo. I didn't like it. Then I went back with Nick Depaulo, you know, Mark Norman. Yeah, you gotta. You gotta try it again. It has the best food in the world. You know, I was not like Boston with a bunch of, you know, racist Irish people. Ham, you guys, whatever.

[A]

He said 35 seconds of uninterrupted Mark Normandy. 34, 35.

[B]

So, I mean, I'm in the restaurant. He's like, we're going to take you to the best gumbo. And so we walk to this place, we go there. Shitty old. Been there for, you know. You know, vampire Lestat stirs, you know, a young man and there. Wants that type of thing.

[A]

Wait a second. Does Bobby now have the throat gurgles? Do you have the Jacob throat gurgles?

[B]

No.

[A]

No microphone, maybe.

[B]

So it might have been a gurgle. I gurgle once in a while. I've been known to gurgle.

[A]

Are you hearing that? I am hearing that.

[B]

That's not me.

[A]

It's coming from your microphone.

[B]

It's from the mic, not from my. It's from the mic. It's not me. It's not me.

[A]

Weird.

[B]

Yeah, it's not me.

[A]

Oh, great news. Bobby's mic now has a permanent ripple. Thank you, SiriusXM.

[B]

Dude, a fucking cockroach came out. But not the big ones, like the water bugs, which I'm more fine with. I guess it's the little ones. The little ones are the ones that bother me.

[A]

Well, that means there's an infestation.

[B]

Yeah. Which means it's in the food. And then you eat gumbo, which you don't know what the fuck's in gumbo. The word gumbo means I don't fucking know. Right? I think. I think that's French, Right? I don't want the fuck to know

[A]

what's in here, Bobby.

[B]

But gurgle's killing me now.

[A]

Could anybody who's listening live call into the show right now and tell us if you hear that gurgle going out live over the air? If it is, SiriusXM, should be fucking ashamed of themselves and fix the microphones.

[B]

Yeah. It makes me sound like Doc Holliday.

[A]

Yeah, it sounds like you have like a. It sounds like we're all like sitting here like fat breathing.

[B]

We are.

[A]

Yeah. We're not gurgling that too.

[B]

Let me try something.

[A]

Is it his mic?

[B]

Try this mic.

[A]

I'm afraid I'm.

[B]

It's the processing on the microphones.

[A]

Good, good, good. Okay.

[B]

Just opened up. All right. Wow. Is the gurgle there anymore? The gurgle is not here.

[A]

Do I possibly have a better setup in my home?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Than satellite Sirius XM100.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What the.

[B]

It's working now.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. We blasted high frequency through there. Reset the whole thing. Fantastic. Fantastic that I was in Austin all weekend.

[B]

It looked like I was following you. I follow you. I follow you on Instagram.

[A]

I don't post anything on Instagram.

[B]

Well, there was a couple photos from the club. Oh, and you looked. Looked like you're having a blast.

[A]

Yeah, no, it was nice guy takes

[B]

great photos too, man. Troy, they were. Oh, my God. There was a photo. You being cute on the wall. I wish you did that for our photo shoot, Troy. Wish you opened up for the SiriusXM photo shoot. Photo shoot.

[A]

Didn't have a fucking fog machine behind me and music and dim lighting. We had three people who I thought were on air talent that were taking our pictures. I didn't know they were photographers here. I was like, why is this other radio host taking our picture? Oh, okay. That's an in house photographer. No clue. And in a bright white lit room.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No energy whatsoever.

[B]

Well, Christine, make a note. Fog machine. Barack and roll music. Next time, Next contract. We're taking new photos and we have to because we're all thin.

[A]

Yeah. He shows up, Troy and Zia starts the hallway starts getting red lighting to. It's all this cool stuff.

[B]

Awesome.

[A]

So, yeah, you look great. It is easier to do that. Yeah. He does do great pictures, Troy.

[B]

So good.

[A]

But it's a lot being down there, man. It's like a lot. It's a lot to it. Also the whole Gas Digital crew was down there for the half hour. Tapings over the creek in the cave.

[B]

Right.

[A]

That hair went great. But that was going. So everyone's out there from that. And then it's just Austin. So DeRosa, Kurt, you know Tony, everybody. We have friends there all. So the Butterlies now and stuff. So it's just like. It's a lot to be down there. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, it's a lot.

[A]

The Irish goodbye Every night I Love that. The Irish goodbye. At some point from someplace, you just leave.

[B]

I go, I gotta. Anytime I say I have to shit, I'm going back to my room.

[A]

Oh yeah, well, it was funny. We went to like, I guess like a place that they all go to down there and I don't want to shout. The place. I don't know if I'm supposed to do that.

[B]

Mickey's?

[A]

No, it's just like some place. It's definitely. It's so not my scene at all. When you walk through it's like a full on nightclub, like Bubbles and girls with their asses out and dancing on. Like it's not a strip club, you know, but dancing up on those stages. Yeah, everything's. Everything's bright purple, you know, or black light purple. And the bottle service and all this stuff. And then everyone hangs out in the back bar.

[B]

Oh, that's what, Tony's joint? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Derosa.

[A]

You went.

[B]

No, I was talking to Derosa and he says that he goes to this bar and there's a back room and Tony goes back there and everybody with Tony and they kind of hang out

[A]

and get VIP because the owners are everybod. His friends.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Yeah, the owner, I. I can't remember his name, but I know that everyone keeps telling me he's a billionaire.

[B]

It's a lot of money.

[A]

And then he came over in a, in a kith sweater vest, New York Yankees logo on it with. With like a very like, you know, pretty young haircut also. And I'll say also as myself, similar haircut, I'd say. But he was just like. And you know, everything was just like nice. I don't even know if he's Russian or what, but it was the, it was so loud and the energy was so that he was like. He brings over like girls in like little cocktail dresses and stuff to be like, ladies, these are the, these are the guys or whatever. And they're like, hi.

[B]

Hi.

[A]

And then that night that happened about 15 minutes into being there and then as soon as those two go, that's the, that's the perfect fucking Lewis distraction. I right away was like, hi. Hi, nice to meet you. And then Lou's like, ladies fucking dipped right out.

[B]

I hate to say they try to make Austin Prague. You know what I mean?

[A]

Oh yeah, let's make a club like

[B]

John Wick, one of these lovelies. Yeah, stupid.

[A]

It's just not my scene. But they're, look at it. I mean, they're having fun there.

[B]

I know. I used to remember the Laugh Factory. Next to Laugh Factory. The club next door to Laugh Factory. It was like a VIP club.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And then I went in there one night. Dame was going in, and he's like, I gotta head in here for a minute. And he left me. I'm out front. And the guy was like, whoa, whoa. Stop me in front of the line. And I was like, no, I'm. I had to go. I'm with Dane.

[A]

Dane Cook says it's okay. Sure he does. You okay? You know Dane Cook.

[B]

All right. And I went in. It was all that. And the. The little twins were there. The little from Full House. But as women, as fashionistas. Jessica Simpson was there. It was like, soon as I walk in, I'm like, I'm so uncomfortable. I don't fit.

[A]

Yeah, no. I didn't fit in this place at all. I actually. I think I may have done this. I think I did. I think I filmed. I don't even think I went back to look at this. I think I filmed my walk out of this place. Just like, phone against my chest.

[B]

You fluenced.

[A]

I think I fluenced for you.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I wanted to show you how much this is not my world.

[B]

It's possible you probably didn't.

[A]

Why would you say that?

[B]

Because you panic when you start to fluence. You had the instinct to fluence and then you panicked.

[A]

You're being crazy.

[B]

I hope you did, man. I'm on your side, kid.

[A]

Say you're sorry because I influenced.

[B]

I'm sorry that you fluenced, man. I'm very proud of you, kid.

[A]

I fluenced hard so much. All right, hang on. I'm going to send it to Christine and she could put it up on the thing.

[B]

Christine's wearing a fucking thin disco belt, and I'm liking it. I like your little Danny Terrio disco belt.

[A]

Oh, skinny. Christine's all skinny. Mini, huh?

[B]

Well, look at that little disco belt. Look at that little thin thing.

[A]

Work it, girl.

[B]

I've always wanted to wear one of those. You wouldn't see it.

[A]

You can wear a teeny little belt.

[B]

I can't. You wouldn't see it. I have to wear my elastic belt.

[A]

You want to wear a teeny little belt? I like that inside internally. Used to. You want to dress like Jean Claude Van Damme in the 80s movies, but you want to wear a very high pant.

[B]

I want to dress like Jean Claude Van Damme in the 80 movies again.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Because that's the way I drew. I wish I had pictures. I wish cameras Were around when I got out of rehab, buddy. I had pleated, pleated pants, suspenders, wife beater jacket with the fucking shoulder pads. Dude, I used to go to AA dances looking like Jim Carrey from the Mask. Yeah, dude, I had. And nobody told me any. Nobody said, what are you doing? Everybody was dressed like that.

[A]

Did you get it, Christine?

[B]

Yeah, I gotta upload it.

[A]

It came through. You gotta see this place. It's just so, like. I mean, now, in fairness, the place where the comedians hang out is not like that. It's a bar, but it's loud. It's in the back, but it's loud.

[B]

Hey, loud.

[A]

It's so loud. And it was just like I was talking to Tom and Lewis most of the time.

[B]

Tom Segura.

[A]

No. Oh, Tom. Tom. Big tall Tom. Digital Tom.

[B]

Oh, cartoon hair Tom.

[A]

Yeah. Bob's Burger Tom. Bob's Burgers Tom. Yeah, but I was talking to him. And even that. It's like everything you say, you have to be prepared for them. The first time you say it, just let everybody know you have something you'd like to convey. Then they're gonna have to do a very awkward mouth. Almost like putting their ear on your mouth so they can kind of hear what you say. And then they're gonna answer something different than what you said. So then you're gonna have to bring them in again. And now cup your hand over their ear to make sure they get that time. And then it's unfortunately, all that effort you've just spent for the answer to have something to be like, sure. That is living hell. It's not. I hate it. It's not. If you're not gonna be there. I guess the only reason to be there is to dance. Then if you're not there and you

[B]

can't communicate with anyone, you're there to be seen. You're there to be seen. You're there to be vip.

[A]

Here you go, Bobby.

[B]

This is great.

[A]

Take a peek at my walk out.

[B]

Oh, this is nice. Oh, God, I hate it.

[A]

Hit the lights for a second. Oh, God. See the top one? Top one.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Guys, you see it?

[B]

Okay, let me go back. Oh, my God.

[A]

Are you proud of me, Bobby?

[B]

I am so proud. Look at. This is great.

[A]

You can see it's against my chest.

[B]

Look at that group of dummies.

[A]

So hot. Everyone looks exactly the same.

[B]

Yeah, they're all wearing white. Their little white dresses. It's all a bunch of dumpy.

[A]

No, I think that's a lot of beautiful chick. They were all there for some DJ or something.

[B]

That gaggle of bitches wasn't hot. The one you showed.

[A]

I think there's some girl on the way out that's just like. I think her full asses.

[B]

Look at that guy dancing, though. That's what I dance. Feet together and just bend the knees.

[A]

He's feeling it. Something, something. Booping, bopping, beeping, bopping, booping. Oh, that's a guy recognizing me. That was nice. That's why I stopped for a second.

[B]

Nice bicep.

[A]

And I got to hide from that guy that I'm filming while he's telling me, oh, my God, there's a naked ass girl.

[B]

Oh, this is annoying. Is this the back room?

[A]

No, no, this is me leaving.

[B]

You're out.

[A]

I film my Irish goodbye because I filmed my Irish goodbye because I wanted to. If. When. If, like, Louis or everybody started texting a little bit like, dude, come on, why'd you leave? I would have sent that video. I was like, oh, because you know who I am. And this. I. This is unacceptable for me.

[B]

Hey, dude, you're not. We're not made for that shit. We like to talk. We like to philosophize. We like to smoke, make each other laugh. In that environment, you have to just sit and look cool and nod your head every once in a while while somebody's talking to you.

[A]

Oh, wait a second. I didn't. I saw a video of this. I didn't see it. Is it interesting? It's Kevin Hart responding to critics on that Breakfast Club interview. Is it interesting?

[B]

Um, yeah, he was.

[A]

I mean, he said.

[B]

He was defending.

[A]

He seems to have defended all of it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, he was. He was defending it, but also he was basically going, look, I didn't say it, so why am I getting shit? You know what I mean? It's.

[A]

Fair enough.

[B]

Yeah, fair enough. He was like, look.

[A]

Well, I mean, I was going to say that he. I mean, it's his thing. He produced it, so they're like, you.

[B]

Yeah, but he. He produced it. It's his name. But they just. They use his name to get people to watch it. Of course he doesn't know what people are going to say.

[A]

No, I don't think he really should hold some responsibility for people said.

[B]

But they know what he's basically saying. I know. You know what Tony's going to do. That's what he does. I know. And he's saying, it's.

[A]

It's the Breakfast Club, though. He probably mentions me. His old friend Jay did pretty good.

[B]

Oh, yeah, dude. He went through the list of the people who killed it.

[A]

Actually, he did give a list of how proud he was of Naim.

[B]

He. No, he. He goes through a list of people that had the best sets of the night.

[A]

I think that night actually didn't. At the end of the roast, didn't he give, like, Naim, like, man, I'm so proud of you, dude. Watching you, like, do this thing. I think that on the thing he said that maybe. Yeah, he did. Yeah.

[B]

Proud of you for doing what you're supposed to do. We'll see if. If. You know, I. I don't know. I think he might have mentioned you. Okay, this is eight minutes long. Is there a Shango in the middle? Or maybe we shouldn't watch this.

[A]

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[A]

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[B]

No, he goes through everybody that. They killed it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He actually says Tony had the set of the night.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Arguably through that in there.

[A]

Go play it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I want to hear it. What's wrong?

[B]

Nothing. To our culture, to our audience, but our audience that's watching the movie. I think what he was trying to do is play both. You know, he's trying to play both sides. He's trying to say something to us and then to him.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

I think that's because he does a lot of that. I call it flim flaming. A little flim flam.

[A]

Could be this, could be that.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

[A]

A little part of me loved it. A little bit of me hated it.

[B]

Yeah, he does it. He does a little bit of that. Right when he.

[A]

Some cold.

[B]

Somehow right when he says something, you're like, oh, good. And then he goes, but, you know, I didn't expect that either. And the other people are like, oh, good. He said that he's getting both sides. That's why you're there.

[A]

Do we have, like, bullet points for it at all? Because it's just a little long. I don't want to have to play for eight minutes.

[B]

I think right after that, we can go forward. But right after he said your name, you had one of the great sets, too. And then he.

[A]

Oh, I'm slow on the draw. I didn't get why you were making the joke of saying, like, let's not play it. Maybe we shouldn't play this. Because he's not going to say my. Oh, that's. Who gives a shit?

[B]

You got cabin again. Listen. Oh, it's kind of your thing.

[A]

It doesn't matter. Whatever I was going to get from that, I got from it.

[B]

Nah, he go, look, he goes on. But he. He's. He's basically. Then he goes into defending him. It's like, why. Why are you coming at me? This is what this is.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If you don't like this stuff, don't watch it.

[A]

But they're going to. The argument they're making is that because he produces. So you had to sign off these people. But he did sign off. Like he said, he is playing a little bit of both sides, for sure. But, I mean, Kev's unapologetic for stuff like that. I know he is.

[B]

No, he. He said, look, I called. I called this one guy. I don't know who he is. Some. I don't know, like a black Leader, or maybe I don't know who he is, but I called him and I said, am I good? He said, yeah, you're good, man.

[A]

He had to call a black leader to check if he's good.

[B]

Something. I don't know. Don't quote me on that. It sounded like a black leader.

[A]

I called a black leader and asked him if I'm. If I'm doing okay. And he said, brother, you doing better than okay.

[B]

You're doing just fine. I liked it. I thought Big J was the best. By the way, did I mention my

[A]

friend Jay did pretty good?

[B]

Well, it's funny to me that they're, you know, I guess, you know, they're making. They're really mad about this. This Floyd thing, which I. Okay, you can get mad at it. His family was mad.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

But he started talking about the brother was mad at Kevin because Kevin actually went to the funeral. Kevin met the brother. He was kind of involved.

[A]

Kevin, the. George Floyd's funeral.

[B]

Yeah, he did. He did. He did. The roast of the cops. They roasted the cops. That was part of the sentence.

[A]

Why did Kev go to George Floyd's funeral?

[B]

He went to show support for the family, I guess. And he said, the brother's mad, and he's like, you shouldn't be mad at me. You should be mad at Tony. Tony made the joke. I didn't make the joke.

[A]

Be mad to fucking Minneapolis cops, literally. Why is that trickling down to me at all?

[B]

But what's weird is nobody, like, Charlie Kirk got assassinated.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In front of his family.

[A]

People got upset about that joke, too. They moved on from that one.

[B]

Well, it's. But if we. If you draw a line there and then you draw a line at Charlie Kirk, and we're just going to all be Ryan Hamilton.

[A]

Yeah. Well, you shouldn't draw.

[B]

I don't mind, because I love Ryan.

[A]

That was a good strike. That was a good dig.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Have it taken out of the replay.

[B]

Oh, why?

[A]

No, but you're all right. It's all one kind of thing then, too.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean? But, yeah.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I'm not sure. Like, the. The. The. The kickback on it. I said, I think it's all good. Honestly, I think Kev probably at the end of the day, puts his head on his bed. Like they're still talking about it at all. It's great. So great.

[B]

Howard Stern said that years ago. He's like, yeah, I want you to hate. Watch me hate. Listen to me, because that means more people are gonna Listen to me, you dumb dumbs. They don't get it. Trump does the same thing. He says all the stupid stuff, and more people tune into his crazy horseshit when he says something wild and they watch it.

[A]

I wonder if Howard Stern acknowledging me at all, that'd be so funny, because I don't know if he talked about the roast. Howard, if he does. Did he?

[B]

Yeah, he said your name.

[A]

No, he didn't. Probably, but you heard about it already.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He didn't say your name. Must say it's so hilarious. Again, just like, never gets mentioned. Did he mention Naim?

[B]

Certainly not.

[A]

If he's a ghost, he goes, now, I'll tell you who is good. Naim. We gotta get that guy on here. Well, there was great.

[B]

I think the expectations of him probably were lower than you. You know what I mean?

[A]

Sure, yeah. Yeah.

[B]

And the fact that he went out and pulled it off as one of the. The great, you know, so he's in his circle. But I think if you're asking me who did the best, I would say you were probably one of the. The best. And I'm not saying that because I know you. I'm saying that because you did the roast.

[A]

Because I'm saying. Because you're staring right across from me. No, because I'm not doing it, because I know you're standing right here.

[B]

I'm not saying that because you promised to get me a brand new Weber grill this summer. No, you did the roast. I think the way roast should be done. You wrote it yourself. It's personal between you and him. You were edgy, but not too crazy, and it was all funny. You were you, and it was like all the. Chelsea Handler doesn't even. Why is she on the roast? If you don't like these mean jokes? Why the. Oh, I know why. Because they paid you a lot of money and you're going to be on TV.

[A]

She's doing the same thing D.L. hughley is doing. It's like you're. You're going to the mountaintop to scream the. The. You know, to scream down how people should behave and what you think is right. Hey, everyone, listen. Listen to what I think is wrong and stuff like that. When it's like you have a history. You have a long career history, you know, long career history of doing stuff that you like. You. You think you remember all of it well enough to make sure you don't like. Anything you say is not going to sound hypocritical. And, no, they never, ever do that. So Chelsea Handler's Getting just brow beaten now with all. I mean she probably stays away from all of it. She doesn't want to feel like she's wrong at all. But like she's. They're just going to show a whole bunch of things she said about, you know like any racial joke she's ever made or something. When Chelsea got a whole wealth of Chelsea lately and all this stuff that she's gonna have to now do that dumb thing that all these dumb bitches do when they do this. They have to go individually each time it comes up and goes, yeah, I did say I want to apologize to the people that were hurt by that and that I've taken it as a growing experience and I've already changed and I hate that this even exists. But the Internet is the Internet and I know and I'm going to do my best to do better. Just that kind of dumb shit for everyone that comes out. Each individual thing comes out. You're going to do that all over again. What about. Well that's okay, that's for black people. What about when you made fun of somebody said something about retards or something. I've grown a lot since then and I known from going to certain hospitals and seeing people who are afflicted by this and know some of them such smart people, but they're just this. So I feel, you know, each time it's going to be ridiculous.

[B]

Yeah, it's so funny too that people like you can't say this about these people, but then you can make fun of fat people all you want.

[A]

Oh yeah, yeah. It is fun making fun of fat people.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

You can sit people falling is one of my favorite Google or YouTube lookups.

[B]

Yeah. But it's like fat people are for some, but they're next. You don't think fat people are going to rise up next once, hey, no more fat Joe. We're going to a bunch of fat ham eaten assholes.

[A]

They do have that or that's existed already.

[B]

Yeah, but they're too fat. They can't make it out. They only can protest like once.

[A]

Body positive body positivity failed miserably. One of the fastest things to die out. Yeah, because someone's fatness though can be affecting to other people in a lot of ways though someone's fatness can really. If you're fat and you're in a middle seat, you should. Punishment should be you're not allowed to fly. You know what I mean? You can't fly like that, dude. You should, you gotta and they did. Eventually that became like, the meanest thing in the world. Like, you're have to buy two seats, and they're like, that's so mean. It's necessary.

[B]

Or they should be able to wrap you in, like, some Saran Wrap to tighten you up.

[A]

Right? Or we. Yeah, we should be.

[B]

Or Joel.

[A]

Yeah, I like that. Maybe. Yeah, Throw them in cargo. Yeah, like some cargo.

[B]

Some type of, you know, like the compression suits. They have to put you in a compression suit and seal it up with a vacuum for the flight.

[A]

I. In my life. You think? You just said you did use it before, right? The extender. The seatbelt extender. I couldn't. Like, I mean, like, I would have. And by the way, every seatbelt to this day, so every seatbelt in every plane for some reason is different. Some of them are just kind of like tighter belts. Some of them have tons of slack that are ridiculous.

[B]

The older planes are smaller seatbelts. If you're on an old plane, and because the seat. The seat belt's small, it's because it's an old plane.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

All the new ones. All the new ones adjusted to fat

[A]

America, probably good, but, man, I would. But I would be on those old ones. And I'm telling you, man, I would have it going. I'd rather have that belt digging into my leg than I would ask for that extender. You were on the Mad Men plane.

[B]

You're on a Pan Am flight.

[A]

Twa.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Putting on my cigarette. I put on my cigarette for this.

[B]

Yeah, dude, I. I learned to use my stomach to hold the seat belt when I was really fat. Because I couldn't. I couldn't.

[A]

Oh, yeah, I know what you mean. So I flop it over it.

[B]

I would pull it with one hand under my stomach, let my stomach hold it, and then use the other two hands to click it. You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah. Or you take them both so fast. You take both sides and you just get them as far as they can, and then you just drop your belly over it. Because they were never going to see if it's connected or anything anyway. You just want to see that. They see seatbelt coming out of either side of your gut. As long as there's seatbelt emerging from the sides of your belly. They're like, you must be wearing the buckle. Oh, for years now. It wasn't. I said, I luckily never got to a size where I couldn't click the belt, but I did. I got to a size. No, but I mean forever. I was a size where I was always like, open. It's interesting now because, like, I still, instinctually, before I sit down the thing, I grab the buckle. I just. It's part of my movement. I grab the buckle and just open it, like, to the end. The furthest end of the thing. And then when I do put it on, if I put it. I still don't put them on a lot because I think it's ridiculous concept anyway. But I. When I put them on, I can, like, crank it now for sure. But they make them bigger now, too, but. So it wouldn't have always been like that, but, man, it does. Yeah. But that extender, asking somebody to come, a beautiful flight attendant to show up with a thing is here, you disgusting animal. I also. I carried it out in front of me. I carried out in front of me so people would follow the trail to you.

[B]

And they hand you the extender with two bags of chips. You're gonna need these, aren't you?

[A]

In case you feel like you're not filling this thing out enough. I got you two extra bags of chips.

[B]

I stole. I stole an extender from United because I was flying United all the time. And then when I switched to Delta, I still have my United States, but it was a gray. It was a gray extender. And I believe Delta's blue. So you could tell. Oh, fat tits had an extender because it went blue to gray. Dude, one time I was on a flight bro, and I had my. I took everything I had to put that seatbelt on. And I was in first class and that. The lady came over and she's like, sir, you need to put your seatbelt on. I go, it's on. And she goes, sir, I need to see it. And I went, you can't. Because my stomach was over it. I go, you can't trust me that it's on. And I'm trying to whisper. She's like, I need to see that it's on, sir. I'm like, I was. And like, everybody's looking at me in first class. And I had to pick my stomach up and show her the buckle. And I went, are you happy? Does that make you feel good? And she goes, thank you, sir. And I go, you're fat, too. Because she was a fatso fat shit.

[A]

Still making me feel bad.

[B]

Yeah. Patrice used to get two seats that fato Diddy.

[A]

That's the move. I mean, I said at one point, they started making. Almost doing that. I think if you were too big. Well, yeah, people would get mad at the companies for that. Was.

[B]

It didn't Southwest.

[A]

Didn't Kevin Smith have that very same thing?

[B]

Yeah, Southwest did it. I think it was Southwest got. Yeah, they made him by an extra seat.

[A]

I never conceived of the stuff. You.

[B]

Yeah, because you could sit on the pilot's lap. You're so little. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Dude, if your hair wasn't gray, they would still give you little pilot wings when you leave. Hey, look who's little junior pilot, huh?

[B]

I bet you still ask for him. Oh, when you get one of the. When you get a Jacob sitting next to you, how great does that feel? It's nice when you get a nice little, Little thin Jacob. I had quenched out.

[A]

I had on the way home. I. My day, Sunday or Monday, Memorial Day was one of those days where it was all going, like, just wrong on everything. Like, you forget something 65 times. You're leaving, you got to go back in. You drop a thing, you go. Just a lot of that. And it continued throughout the entire day. But that day started me getting on the plane. Cool black dude sitting next to me, very cool looking, young. And he was just like, on his, like, iPhone or his iPad. And before we took off, they do, you know, they come around and they'll give you like the. You want a glass of water, orange juice, usually in the morning. And thank God he took a water because at one point, just like, I turn around, I was, as. I'm saying, no, thank you to the thing. I just, I'm holding my phone and the phone just falls out of my hand. Just clunks and spills his water all over his fucking green Balenciaga sweatpants or something. I was like, fuck, he was cool right away. We didn't talk about it. I apologized and we never really spoke words again. But he was fine with it, I guess. But, like, it was, I mean, I was apologetic right out of the gates. I was like, oh, dude, I'm so fucking sorry.

[B]

There's nothing worse than when you're fat and you drop something on a plane. It's just like, you, you just gotta go, I'll get it when everybody leaves the plane.

[A]

Yeah, everyone's got a D board. I don't anybody walking by my ass crack being out when I'm bending over to find a airpod.

[B]

Yeah, I had my airpod drop. Oh, it was so bad, buddy. I couldn't get it. It was under the seat in front of me. I, I. For me to get that, I would have to hold my breath and then go down. I would have, what, 15 seconds to find it.

[A]

We were on the Road with me, him and Ari. And he dropped a pencil and he bent over to get it. And when he came up, his face was a different kind of purple that I'd ever seen. I think he died on the way up. And then when life got back into him, like, it was like when you choke somebody and they almost pass out and then the air hits and they go, yeah.

[B]

And there was a bite out of the pencil.

[A]

This guy can't stop himself. He was in a bad place. He's fixed now. He's fixed now.

[B]

But that. But that's where you're going with all this. And you're not gonna be able to make fun of anything. And the. It's like. It makes me mad because it's like, Chelsea, even DL you got to make fun of everything. Your whole career, there was no limits on anything. And now that you're older and you have some type. I don't know, whatever. I get that people evolve. I get people going to different stages of life. But now you're out there saying that we should. You shouldn't make fun of that. Or you shouldn't say this. That was too far. You should. As a comedian, you should shut your face. If someone's trying to be funny. If the people laugh, it's fucking funny. That's it.

[A]

Well, these days, you don't see these people policing, like, the comedy as it's coming. It's gotta be something that gets, like, successful.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then it makes them question themselves in some way, and then they start taking shots at it. It doesn't make any sense. It happened a couple people. There's a couple comics that. I mean, like, without even names. I like some of these people, but it was like they. They came, they got all their success, and, like, fans doing a certain kind of thing, like an edgy thing, when that. All that. When that was kind of against the grain.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then they got a lot of money, and then an article comes out or something comes out where they go. Like, upon further reflection, I do see that. Yeah, I really should probably change things up and not really say these things or make these kind of jokes anymore. And you're like, well, I'm always like, give the money back. To give the money back. You're not gonna give that money back.

[B]

Can't.

[A]

You're gonna change your mind once you've already gotten, like, the reap. The benefits of it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So it's kind of like. That never really means anything to me when I see that stuff. But all the. Yeah. The Chelsea things are Mind blow that. I mean, some genius made that clip. We'll play the clip that we had. Total or not had. Total. Just made. Which was great because I'm bad at, like, watching things down.

[B]

What's his name in a song too. It's pretty good.

[A]

Crack a Mika music. You saw the song? Yeah. I thought that was fantastic. He's amazing. He's really good.

[B]

He really is quick. Too fast.

[A]

Do you want to play? We can play the song real quick. Yeah, give it a. We didn't play it on skanks, so we. We can give it a bonfire. Bonfire. World premiere. Crag Amigo rules. But he's going at Chelsea. I don't know if. Does that video show the things. That's what's been killing me on those. Those reels. Or every. Called that. I see the little clips on YouTube.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is when she's like, all they had was that I'm old and a whore. And then just keeps going back to Shane saying anything but that. She's like, she's a Zionist. And Chelsea had dinner with Jeffrey Epstein just calling me a whore. That's it. He says, well, no, that wasn't it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We get some volume on that.

[B]

Am I doing that or is it.

[A]

No, it's on purpose. Never heard it.

[B]

This is a golden retriever dancing.

[A]

Did you go actually go back a little bit. A couple things he did in this song so far, it's not much longer to the song. I don't want to say, but that I didn't catch until I just saw it. Now that someone told me about. I don't remember. He does the DL Healy stuff. Everything's DL. Did you notice that all the wording is DL words? And he highlights them. Things go back to that. It's pretty crazy. It's so good. And then also he did the one that you have to see the visual for. I guess he said something with you and the Fresh Prince. What's the first line? He goes, uncle Phil. Yeah, it was like Phil, but he had somebody on Uncle Phil's face. But I forget what. He goes, it's. Who the fuck was it? It was Uncle Phil. And he goes, you hanging out with the Fresh Prince? And it was Prince Andrew. And he goes, well, Jeffrey serving you dinner. Like it's all Fresh Prince of Bel Air. The butler's name was Jeffrey. And he put a picture of Jeffrey Epstein. So good.

[B]

He's really good. Wow.

[A]

Tony actually always.

[B]

Tony actually responded yesterday, too. He just came out with on.

[A]

On Kill Tony.

[B]

On Kill Tony.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

[B]

He responded to. Which is. I mean, he is so good. And I think Shane's response was. I mean, that kid.

[A]

So that's the nail on the cough one. That was great. He could have done. He even had the thing at the end about where he says the football to people. Don't know. He said.

[B]

Yeah. What is the exact quote?

[A]

It's like, I'm very. Yeah. What does it say here? He responded. This is a big. This is a big moment for Chelsea. I'm glad she's capitalizing. Good for her. We're all rooting for. Anyway, come see me. July 17th. The football stadium in Philly. It's a great flex. It was so funny. It was so implied. I almost think he didn't need this because a couple of them I saw didn't have that part. And I was like. It was a. It was a death blow before he even said that. He's gonna be in there. Remind. Everybody's gonna be in the football field. That's crazy. We're all rooting for her. We're all rooting for her. Anyways, I'll be.

[B]

This kid is. Got it.

[A]

He's the best. I mean, God damn, that was a killer line. Yeah, he. That's. That's a death blow right there. He doesn't have to say another word. Chelsea can keep going on and on, whatever. And that's.

[B]

It's.

[A]

It's over.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He put that one dead in the water.

[B]

God damn. That was a good one.

[A]

That was great. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, she has to admire that one. No, even. Even the person that got it.

[A]

I don't know what the. The thing like, you know, the. The hypocrisy. I mean, it goes so far.

[B]

I know. I thought you said that total bitch

[A]

did something about Chelsea.

[B]

No. Okay, never mind. That's Total Bitches right there. The one he gotcha.

[A]

No. Total bitch said the. Send me the D.L. healy stuff. That we should wait till we come back from break.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And come back with it because it's. It's pretty good deal. Hulley talked about our last time we talked about him over here, about the implying that I'm a Nazi with his pictures and stuff. But he. He responded. No real apology. He acknowledged that he kicked it down the curb to his producer. His producer said his producer did it. And. Or his producer said that he did it, that he put it in there. So he admitted that there was no real, like, any kind of, like, apology or anything, which is fine. And then they had a writing session, I guess, to make like Fat little dick jokes about me, which is. I'm fine with that. I like that. I said, great. Made me laugh.

[B]

I wrote them all down. I think we should go over them. And actually, I'm gonna. I'm gonna do them at my Pussycat set tonight.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

I'm gonna do all of DL's fat jokes.

[A]

A couple of them got me.

[B]

A couple of them got me, too.

[A]

Could have done better. I think I said for. I don't think it's a strong suit. Is like, the. Doing the dozens, as they say. But, like, because they say, I don't think Roseanne Barr's pretty funny.

[B]

But here's the thing. There was eight jokes total. I wrote them all down. Lou has them.

[A]

There's only eight.

[B]

He has all of them. There was a couple. There was a couple of good fatties in there. And then they had the. They definitely had a meeting because he had AI pictures. Pictures to go with everything.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like, that immediately came up.

[A]

Well, they. They put older pictures of me being, like, the fat that they wanted for the joke bits they were doing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They would have had to go back, and then the argument would be like, well, you're going back.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, you're not even pulling this concurrently. So they made AI pictures. Was great.

[B]

Which were way fatter than you've ever been, too, by the way.

[A]

Yeah. Nobody here, like I said, does AI pictures.

[B]

Nope.

[A]

At all?

[B]

No, we want them to.

[A]

I wanted them to. So all I could do is tell you guys what I would do in the pictures. And I said, apparently, this is, like, he's got a person on his crew that's, like, leading him in a bad direction to, like, with bad information. Setting. He's basically setting Deal Healy up to be in this thing, apparently.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which is. Which is fine. But, I mean, he's in it now, and, like, you know, he's trying to save face with, like, the fat jokes and little dick jokes, which is fine. I've never had a straight black guy talk about my dick that much, but I'll take it. But I will say this. Call me racist all you want. I assume DL Hughley has a really nice dick.

[B]

That's great. You, man. I like it.

[A]

Call that racism.

[B]

That'd be hilarious if he didn't.

[A]

The AI pictures. We don't know how to do AI pictures here. So I could just tell you what I would have in the thing. So what I'm saying, like, D.L. hughley's being, like, manipulated and told what to do, basically, and led in a bad place. By his thing. I would maybe do the producer wearing, like a. Like a KFC colonel outfit. And then DL Hughley, like, in overalls, maybe holding a corn cob with, like, doof tooth. Like, with doofus teeth. Like, whatever you say, sir.

[B]

Django hat. Maybe a straw hat.

[A]

Yeah, like a straw hat, I'm thinking. Yeah, like a real. Like, just old. Like you letting this. This white boy tell you, bully you around, tell you what to do. So. Yeah, but no one here has had to do AI, right?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay. So I just got to go with my descriptions. Yeah. You know, you don't do AI. No. AI over there. Black blue.

[B]

No.

[A]

You got the prompts if you do Christine.

[B]

You run a festival, do you how to do AI? No, we hire people.

[A]

Okay. I'm just going to have to keep describing these things in graphic detail because I don't know how to do AI.

[B]

No. Nobody. He has a team. I mean, his AI was really good.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know if that producer's leading me in a bad path or not, for sure. But I will tell you, this guy's

[B]

good at AI and he's good at laughing. Fake laughing.

[A]

They might have been real laughs. They were having a good Trash and Me session on the fat stuff, which I get it, too. I went at D.L. hughley. So I get. He says that he gets that I would be upset that. That I would be upset if I was called a Nazi. Whatever. Like that. I think missing the point. I'm not upset by the fact that you call me. It's a moronic thing to say, and you're just trying to say racist, but you're too dumb to realize that you're saying Nazis is a whole different connotation. So. But you. But racist doesn't hit anymore. Enough. No one gives a shit when you call somebody racist, so Nazi's gonna get your thing. So it's a. It's a fucking boo boo word, he said. And then he. When you come out of it, he could have just been like, by the way, make the fat jokes and stuff and whatever jokes about me. Actually, when I'm. I'm thrilled. I will get to take partial credit that I am the one who brought DL Hughley back to trying to be funny again. Could you imagine that, dude? All these wars going on right now, and I got him being funny again. Don't you know, people who don't care about real information about the wars want to hear DL Hughley tell it to him.

[B]

Tell you what, though. Fat people. Fat people bring it out of people.

[A]

Fat people will bring it out of people.

[B]

Fat people bring the funny out of people.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I gave him a good canvas, so

[B]

it's a big canvas.

[A]

I'm happy. Yeah. We have to take a break. Do we have to take a break? Yeah. What are we at? Because I don't want to stop.

[B]

Big J is going to be that. You want to keep going?

[A]

I want to stop. No, no. Because we have to.

[B]

We'll take a little break. Let's take a break. We'll be back. We got no guests. We'll come back. We'll get into the. We'll get into the DL stuff for sure.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Big J is going to be New York Comedy Club, Stanford, Connecticut, May 29th and 30th.

[A]

Friday, Saturday, Friday, Saturday, this week.

[B]

Great club. I was just there last week. Really fun club. Then he's going to Spokane Comedy Club June 5th and 6th. After that, he's going to be in Minneapolis, Buffalo, Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, and Winnipeg. For tickets and all tour dates, go to bigj.Comedy.com and make sure you check out his YouTube.com bigjayokerson I believe you're going live tonight, correct? Or was it last night?

[A]

No, it's going to be Thursday.

[B]

Thursday night.

[A]

It'll be after the. After all we're doing. Oh, we're going live Thursday.

[B]

Going live Thursday.

[A]

It'll be a little bit after that.

[B]

It's gonna go live. So make sure you go to his YouTube page and you can ask, I guess, anything you want.

[A]

Yeah, I don't know if he means I'm gonna answer anything. I'm also gonna watch body cam videos and all the stuff I normally do, but I'm like, you can say whatever you want. Ask whatever you want in the chat. I'll answer you. I think, if I can. I mean, if I within reason can answer you.

[B]

You promoted ask anything you want, I believe.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Okay, great.

[A]

It's not called answer anything you ask.

[B]

All right, you can ask.

[A]

You can ask. Bring up any question. I'll tell you if I feel. If I'm like, oh, I'll tell you this. I don't give a shit. Bobby Kelly is going to be a Governor's in Levittown June 19th and 20th. Then the comedy mothership Austin, July 3rd through the 5th. Three days after that, he's going to be in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, Saratoga Springs and Brooklyn, New York. Ooh, the new improv dude.

[B]

I didn't know it was real, but it's. When they said an improv, I was like, maybe they stole the name, but it's an improv. I'm doing it. I'm doing it one night. Yeah, I wish I had the dates. Portsmouth. Portsmouth is in, I think July.

[A]

Well, you'll get those dates when you go over to Punchup Live. Robert Kelly. You go get the dates. You want to see Bobby, earn it.

[B]

Earn it.

[A]

Make you check out his YouTube channel, Robert Kelly Comedy. And of course, every Tuesday night, including tonight. Right.

[B]

I'm gonna be running all of DL's fat jokes tonight.

[A]

Nice. Oh, yeah. You wrote them all down.

[B]

I wrote them all down. I'm gonna perform them tonight to see if they pass the funny test. I know two of them are.

[A]

Oh, and then I know the other thing was about they were like, he's like, he got color in his hair and nail polish. He's questioning my sexuality. And it's like, oh, yeah, I know that hurts worse. Like, I know that hurts worse coming from me directly. Hey, D.L. hughley. You're gay. We'll be right back. It's the bonfire. Support for this podcast comes from Progressive, America's number one motorcycle insurer. Did you know? Riders who switch and save with Progressive

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