The Bonfire w/ Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode Title: Comedian Epstein Files
Date: February 13, 2026
Host: SiriusXM Faction Talk 103

Episode Overview

This episode of "The Bonfire" is a rollicking, wholly unfiltered conversation between veteran comedians Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly, joined by regulars Christine and Jacob. The duo dives into their characteristic blend of raunchy nostalgia, behind-the-scenes comedy stories, personal quirks, and brutally honest takes on sex, travel, and pop culture. The episode’s title, "Comedian Epstein Files," comes up in a wickedly irreverent discussion about being named (innocently, but hilariously) in the recently released Jeffrey Epstein files as comics who performed on lineups promoted to Epstein.

Main Discussion Themes & Segments

1. Sex Tapes, Porn Memories & Comedy Confessions

Timestamps: 01:17 – 14:50

• Nostalgia for 90s Pop: The episode kicks off with Jay and Bobby reminiscing over a 90s pop song—instantly veering from innocent memories to raunchy tales of old girlfriends and home-recorded sex tapes.

  • Bobby recounts a legendary "red tape" of scenario-based porn that changed hands between comedians, only to always return to him.
    • “I gave it to Dane. I’ve given it to Gary Gulman… it always came back to me.” (Bobby Kelly, 03:02)
  • Jay and Bobby reflect on keeping old tapes featuring consensual but very-young versions of themselves and their partners, joking about the hazards of aging alongside old media, and emphasizing how inappropriate (and illegal) it is to hang onto such things into adulthood.

• Amateur "Directing":

  • Bobby describes his directorial efforts, staging and scenario-plotting adult home movies, contrasting his approach with Jay's more utilitarian, “get to the good part” attitude.
    • “I am a thespian through and through… I love a scenario.” (Bobby Kelly, 13:37)
    • “I’ll never be able to roleplay in my life.” (Jay Oakerson, 13:23)

• Roleplaying in Bed:

  • Bobby admits he loves elaborate sexual scenarios—often more than the act itself—while Jay just can’t keep a straight face.
  • Bobby complains that his wife, Dawn, is a terrible actress in bed:
    • “Every scenario I gave her, she's like, ‘No.’” (Bobby Kelly, 15:04)

Notable Quote

• “Why the fuck do you think in our relationship I would be the bottom?” (Bobby Kelly to Jay, on hypothetical AI-generated gay sex tapes, 09:08)
• “Nothing gets me hotter than scene work.” (Bobby Kelly, 13:55)

2. Fat Guy Travel Tips & Plane Etiquette Rants

Timestamps: 16:15 – 36:14

• Airplane Grievances: Jay and Bobby commiserate over the indignities of air travel as big men—fans, sweating necks, and petty passenger diplomacy.

  • Jay describes the etiquette around window shades, openly advocating for shutting them without asking if the glare affects your seat.
    • “If I have an inch of that… I shut it. You don’t even ask.” (Bobby Kelly, 19:01)
  • Christine recounts enduring a “mesmerized” middle-aged woman who refused to close the plane’s window for the entire flight.
    • “Are you sure she wasn’t retarded?” (Bobby Kelly, 20:21)

• Armrest and Overhead Bin Battles:

  • Jay tells a recent tale of beefing with another first-class passenger over overhead bin bag placement, ultimately escalating to passive-aggressive—and then very active—use of personal space.
    • “I aimed towards him diagonal, and I had my leg on his lap.” (Jay Oakerson, 27:11)

• Big Guy Hacks:

  • Discussion spirals into the politics of bag placement, snack basket perks of "Comfort Plus," and power plays over middle-seat foot room.
    • “Your bag goes in front of your seat. My bag goes in front of my seat. The middle space is clean… I put my dirty foot right on that bag.” (Bobby Kelly, 29:54)

Notable Quote

• “If you touch me on a plane, I… I would have tied your shoes together. I hate that.” (Bobby Kelly, 27:49)
• “Flying sucks across the board—just not in first class.” (Jay Oakerson, 33:22)

3. First Class Fantasies & Airport Observations

Timestamps: 36:14 – 47:00

• First Class Daydreaming:

  • Jay and Bobby marvel at the luxurious suites available on top-tier international flights—private rooms, showers, and flatbeds—fantasizing about what it’d take to get laid (or get away with shenanigans) in those VIP sections.
  • Jay jokes about arranging for a “load walk” for viral content and the bizarre standards of Dubai flights.
    • “Make her do a come walk out of your Emirates… That’s American freedom, load.” (Jay Oakerson, 48:17)
  • Christine points out how absurd it is to even have problems in first class given how plush the experience is.

• Empathy for Traveling Parents:

  • Hosts agree that parents flying with kids have it rough, and the only response to a crying baby on a plane is empathy, not anger.
    • “All I do is feel bad for them… you think they want that?” (Jay Oakerson, 36:54)

4. Bachelor Party Hookers, Prostitution, & The Dark Side of Comedy Gigs

Timestamps: 47:00 – 56:15

• Sex Work Stories:

  • The pair reflect on experiences with sex workers—from legal prostitution to wilder stories involving bachelor parties and strip club gigs.
  • Jay tells a tale about a stripper he drove who was genuinely “putting herself through hell” to afford med school, pondering whether any sex workers really get their “happy ending” in a new career.
    • “I don’t know many together prostitutes where they’re like, ‘Yeah, I did it for a while and now… I was able to get my architectural license.’” (Jay Oakerson, 50:15)

• Mob Mentality at Bachelor Parties:

  • Both hosts agree large-group sex worker scenarios veer into uncomfortable, “Lord of the Flies” territory, with Jay referencing infamous scenes from "The Accused."
  • They swap stories about befriending, rather than hiring, sex workers at such events—and poking fun at the comic delusion that prostitutes are falling in love with them.
    • “I fell in love with that stripper in a toilet.” (Jay Oakerson, 54:51)
    • “The hooker thinks I’m super cool… The hooker’s friend. It sounds like a romance comedy.” (Bobby Kelly, 55:29)

5. Epstein Files & The Comedy Lineup Connection

Timestamps: 56:15 – End

• Being Named in the Epstein Files (As Comics):

  • Jay reveals he’s been named—multiple times, with fellow comics—on party lineup promotions sent to Jeffrey Epstein. They clarify it’s only through performance advertisements, with no actual connection.
    • “That guy really wanted to go because he sent a separate one another day asking him if maybe tonight he wants to go to Dave Attell’s Comedy Underground… and I will be there with Kurt Metzger. So now Kurt’s also implicated, as well as me…” (Jay Oakerson, 56:25)
    • “Nothing goes better with child pornography and comedy… two things that go together well.” (Bobby Kelly, 56:52)
  • The gang jokes darkly about whether Epstein went to comedy shows before or after his other notorious activities, and riff on “palate cleansers” and “nightcaps.”

• Dark Comedy on Celebrity Pedophiles:

  • Riffing on the names in the headlines, from Woody Allen to Polanski, the hosts go all in on the gallows humor.
    • “Oliver Stone should be able to fuck a kid… Quentin Tarantino with that, as many kids as he wants.” (Jay Oakerson, 57:51, 58:01)

• Being Glad (or Jealous) About Who Made the List:

  • Jay and Bobby joke about being bummed or jealous not to be on the infamous island list (for the notoriety, not the deeds), rounding out their savage, everything-is-fair-game comedic stance.

Notable Quotes

• “I wish the thing said, 'Big Jay is performing tonight. We love him. He’s got that one joke about pedophiles… He gets us.'” (Jay Oakerson, 59:40)
• “Jay would be boring the 14 year olds with conversation.” (Bobby Kelly, 62:28)

Memorable Moments & Standout Quotes

• On Sharing Homemade Porn:
  • “I gave it to Dane… to Gary Gulman… and it always came back.” (Bobby Kelly, 03:02)
• On Roleplay Fails:
  • “She is a terrible actress. Terrible.” (Bobby Kelly, 15:21)
• On Plane Etiquette:
  • “If I have an inch of that… I shut it. You don’t even ask.” (Bobby Kelly, 19:01)
• On Overhead Bins:
  • “You don’t touch my shit.” (Bobby Kelly, 25:24)
• On Empathy for Crying Babies:
  • “All I do is feel bad for them. That’s what it is. Do you think they want that?” (Jay Oakerson, 36:54)
• On Bachelor Party Hookers:
  • “That ‘Lord of the Flies’ energy… it freaks me out.” (Bobby Kelly, 51:33)
• On Being in the Epstein Files:
  • “I got to… you have to circle my name twice. Three times. I’m listed three times!” (Jay Oakerson, 59:29)

Noteworthy Segments By Timestamp

• 01:17–14:50: Sex tape talk, Bobby’s “red tape,” scenario-based porn, and early tech
• 16:15–36:14: Airplane etiquette, comfort plus versus first class, fat guy travel gripes
• 47:00–56:15: Bachelor party stories, paying for sex, and sex workers’ lives
• 56:15–end: Comedy and the Epstein files connection; dark riffing on celebrity scandals

Tone & Style

True to The Bonfire’s legacy, the episode is raw, irreverent, and unapologetically honest. Nothing is off-limits for humor—even the darkest topics. Jay and Bobby’s rapport is relentless and affectionate, layering brutal honesty with rapid-fire punchlines, theatrical reenactments, and the kind of banter only possible between longtime bro-comics.

For listeners who missed the episode: This recap gives you the juicy, unvarnished essence of Jay & Bobby’s latest no-holds-barred roundtable—equal parts backstage comedy confessional, sex talk, travel advice, and savage pop culture commentary.