The Bonfire w/ Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly
Episode Title: Comedian Epstein Files
Date: February 13, 2026
Host: SiriusXM Faction Talk 103
Episode Overview
This episode of "The Bonfire" is a rollicking, wholly unfiltered conversation between veteran comedians Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly, joined by regulars Christine and Jacob. The duo dives into their characteristic blend of raunchy nostalgia, behind-the-scenes comedy stories, personal quirks, and brutally honest takes on sex, travel, and pop culture. The episode’s title, "Comedian Epstein Files," comes up in a wickedly irreverent discussion about being named (innocently, but hilariously) in the recently released Jeffrey Epstein files as comics who performed on lineups promoted to Epstein.
Main Discussion Themes & Segments
1. Sex Tapes, Porn Memories & Comedy Confessions
Timestamps: 01:17 – 14:50
Notable Quote
- “Why the fuck do you think in our relationship I would be the bottom?” (Bobby Kelly to Jay, on hypothetical AI-generated gay sex tapes, 09:08)
- “Nothing gets me hotter than scene work.” (Bobby Kelly, 13:55)
2. Fat Guy Travel Tips & Plane Etiquette Rants
Timestamps: 16:15 – 36:14
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Airplane Grievances: Jay and Bobby commiserate over the indignities of air travel as big men—fans, sweating necks, and petty passenger diplomacy.
- Jay describes the etiquette around window shades, openly advocating for shutting them without asking if the glare affects your seat.
- “If I have an inch of that… I shut it. You don’t even ask.” (Bobby Kelly, 19:01)
- Christine recounts enduring a “mesmerized” middle-aged woman who refused to close the plane’s window for the entire flight.
- “Are you sure she wasn’t retarded?” (Bobby Kelly, 20:21)
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Armrest and Overhead Bin Battles:
- Jay tells a recent tale of beefing with another first-class passenger over overhead bin bag placement, ultimately escalating to passive-aggressive—and then very active—use of personal space.
- “I aimed towards him diagonal, and I had my leg on his lap.” (Jay Oakerson, 27:11)
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Big Guy Hacks:
- Discussion spirals into the politics of bag placement, snack basket perks of "Comfort Plus," and power plays over middle-seat foot room.
- “Your bag goes in front of your seat. My bag goes in front of my seat. The middle space is clean… I put my dirty foot right on that bag.” (Bobby Kelly, 29:54)
Notable Quote
- “If you touch me on a plane, I… I would have tied your shoes together. I hate that.” (Bobby Kelly, 27:49)
- “Flying sucks across the board—just not in first class.” (Jay Oakerson, 33:22)
3. First Class Fantasies & Airport Observations
Timestamps: 36:14 – 47:00
4. Bachelor Party Hookers, Prostitution, & The Dark Side of Comedy Gigs
Timestamps: 47:00 – 56:15
5. Epstein Files & The Comedy Lineup Connection
Timestamps: 56:15 – End
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Being Named in the Epstein Files (As Comics):
- Jay reveals he’s been named—multiple times, with fellow comics—on party lineup promotions sent to Jeffrey Epstein. They clarify it’s only through performance advertisements, with no actual connection.
- “That guy really wanted to go because he sent a separate one another day asking him if maybe tonight he wants to go to Dave Attell’s Comedy Underground… and I will be there with Kurt Metzger. So now Kurt’s also implicated, as well as me…” (Jay Oakerson, 56:25)
- “Nothing goes better with child pornography and comedy… two things that go together well.” (Bobby Kelly, 56:52)
- The gang jokes darkly about whether Epstein went to comedy shows before or after his other notorious activities, and riff on “palate cleansers” and “nightcaps.”
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Dark Comedy on Celebrity Pedophiles:
- Riffing on the names in the headlines, from Woody Allen to Polanski, the hosts go all in on the gallows humor.
- “Oliver Stone should be able to fuck a kid… Quentin Tarantino with that, as many kids as he wants.” (Jay Oakerson, 57:51, 58:01)
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Being Glad (or Jealous) About Who Made the List:
- Jay and Bobby joke about being bummed or jealous not to be on the infamous island list (for the notoriety, not the deeds), rounding out their savage, everything-is-fair-game comedic stance.
Notable Quotes
- “I wish the thing said, 'Big Jay is performing tonight. We love him. He’s got that one joke about pedophiles… He gets us.'” (Jay Oakerson, 59:40)
- “Jay would be boring the 14 year olds with conversation.” (Bobby Kelly, 62:28)
Memorable Moments & Standout Quotes
- On Sharing Homemade Porn:
- “I gave it to Dane… to Gary Gulman… and it always came back.” (Bobby Kelly, 03:02)
- On Roleplay Fails:
- “She is a terrible actress. Terrible.” (Bobby Kelly, 15:21)
- On Plane Etiquette:
- “If I have an inch of that… I shut it. You don’t even ask.” (Bobby Kelly, 19:01)
- On Overhead Bins:
- “You don’t touch my shit.” (Bobby Kelly, 25:24)
- On Empathy for Crying Babies:
- “All I do is feel bad for them. That’s what it is. Do you think they want that?” (Jay Oakerson, 36:54)
- On Bachelor Party Hookers:
- “That ‘Lord of the Flies’ energy… it freaks me out.” (Bobby Kelly, 51:33)
- On Being in the Epstein Files:
- “I got to… you have to circle my name twice. Three times. I’m listed three times!” (Jay Oakerson, 59:29)
Noteworthy Segments By Timestamp
- 01:17–14:50: Sex tape talk, Bobby’s “red tape,” scenario-based porn, and early tech
- 16:15–36:14: Airplane etiquette, comfort plus versus first class, fat guy travel gripes
- 47:00–56:15: Bachelor party stories, paying for sex, and sex workers’ lives
- 56:15–end: Comedy and the Epstein files connection; dark riffing on celebrity scandals
Tone & Style
True to The Bonfire’s legacy, the episode is raw, irreverent, and unapologetically honest. Nothing is off-limits for humor—even the darkest topics. Jay and Bobby’s rapport is relentless and affectionate, layering brutal honesty with rapid-fire punchlines, theatrical reenactments, and the kind of banter only possible between longtime bro-comics.
For listeners who missed the episode:
This recap gives you the juicy, unvarnished essence of Jay & Bobby’s latest no-holds-barred roundtable—equal parts backstage comedy confessional, sex talk, travel advice, and savage pop culture commentary.
