Crack Changed Everything

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Crack Changed Everything"

The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly
Episode: Crack Changed Everything
Release Date: December 31, 2024
Host: SiriusXM’s Faction Talk, Channel 103

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Introduction and Setting

In the episode titled "Crack Changed Everything," hosts Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly dive into a whirlwind of topics ranging from politics and pop culture to music and unabashed humor. With their characteristic bluntness and candidness, they engage in a lively discussion that oscillates between sharp political commentary and irreverent jokes, providing listeners with a dynamic and entertaining experience.

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Political Commentary: Trump Ads and Kamala Harris Campaigns

A significant portion of the episode focuses on the political landscape, particularly scrutinizing Donald Trump's campaign advertisements and Kamala Harris's political strategies.

Analyzing Trump's Campaign Ads: Big Jay initiates the conversation by discussing Trump's latest commercial, expressing admiration for its audacity. He remarks, “If I was ever gonna vote for a guy for [office], it's the balls of the commercial is so great” ([06:56]). The hosts dissect the content, highlighting the absurdity and exaggerated claims within the ads. Robert adds humorously critical insights, “He’s like this blinking box in my hand. Why do words keep forming?” ([01:40]).

Kamala Harris's Political Maneuvers: The discussion shifts towards Kamala Harris, with Big Jay mocking the portrayal of her policies in Trump's ads. He sarcastically praises her efforts, saying, “Kamala Harris pushed to use tax dollars to pay for his sex change… it's insane because it is insane to help pay for a prisoner's sex change” ([09:30]). The hosts critique the oversimplification and sensationalism in political advertising, emphasizing the disconnect between political narratives and real-world implications.

Audience and Political Extremes: Further, the conversation touches upon the diversity within political groups, noting, “Sure, there's absolutely, dude. There's queers for Palestine. There's queers for people who want to kill queers” ([11:15]). This highlights the polarized and fragmented nature of modern political affiliations, with both Republican and Democratic factions hosting extreme and often contradictory viewpoints.

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Pop Culture and Media: Podcasts, TV Shows, and Movie References

Big Jay and Robert seamlessly transition into a discussion about the intersection of politics and media, particularly the appearance of politicians on various platforms.

Politicians on Podcasts: The hosts reminisce about former presidents appearing on talk shows, comparing it to the current trend of politicians joining podcasts. Big Jay muses, “Politicians going on these podcasts is the funniest thing in the world” ([20:31]). They reference Bill Clinton’s saxophone performance on a talk show and Barack Obama’s appearances, underscoring how these moments were groundbreaking and contrasted sharply with today's engagements.

Television and Movie Jokes: The conversation is peppered with references to iconic TV shows and movies such as Police Academy and Rocky Horror Picture Show. For instance, Big Jay quips about Police Academy’s Commandant Lassard, paralleling him humorously with President Biden: “Biden reminds me of Commandant Lassard after he gets blown. That's Biden's like resting Lassard face” ([27:06]). These references serve as a backdrop for their comedic banter, blending nostalgia with contemporary humor.

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Music Discussions: Rap Songs and Movie Soundtracks

Music plays a pivotal role in the episode, with the hosts delving into the creation and impact of rap songs associated with movies.

Creative Process of Songwriting: Big Jay and Robert explore how rap is utilized to summarize movie plots within songs. They discuss tracks like "Every Little Step" and "Back in Time," analyzing their effectiveness in storytelling. Big Jay humorously invents lyrics, emphasizing the improvisational nature of their conversation: “Because Bobby Brown was good. Good to go solo. Been on the mic for a long, long time guarantee bust a stupid rhyme” ([51:35]).

Critique of Music Production: The hosts critique modern music production, comparing studio versions unfavorably to live performances. Big Jay states, “I go live version of it first always. Because they've done it better Time Live” ([35:19]), underscoring their preference for authentic and raw musical renditions over polished studio tracks.

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Humor and Improvisation in the Podcast

True to their comedic roots, Big Jay and Robert infuse the episode with improvisational humor, often venturing into absurd and exaggerated scenarios.

Sexual Humor and Exaggerations: The hosts engage in provocative and exaggerated humor, discussing hypothetical and outrageous situations. For example, Big Jay jokes about a character named Becky Rodriguez engaging in taboo relationships: “Becky Rodriguez is a stepmother having sex with her stepson” ([40:10]). These offbeat jokes add a layer of irreverent humor that characterizes the duo's dynamic.

Improvised Raps and Skits: A notable segment includes improvised rap performances, where Big Jay creates humorous and intentionally bad rap lyrics on the spot: “Cause I'm rocking it steady. And when the sucker MCs try to drop my spot” ([51:35]). These segments showcase the hosts' ability to blend structured discussions with spontaneous comedic performances.

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Final Thoughts and Insights

As the episode wraps up, Big Jay and Robert reflect on the complex and often chaotic interplay between politics, media, and pop culture. They emphasize the surreal nature of current events and the importance of humor in navigating the absurdities of modern life.

Reflection on Modern Politics: Big Jay concludes with a cynical view of the political landscape, stating, “I don't care about his politics at all. I'm not voting. It doesn't fucking matter” ([32:24]). This sentiment resonates with listeners who feel overwhelmed by the polarized and often nonsensical nature of contemporary politics.

Embracing Absurdity with Humor: Ultimately, the hosts advocate for embracing humor as a coping mechanism, navigating through the madness with laughter and irreverence. Their ability to oscillate between serious commentary and lighthearted jokes provides a balanced and engaging listening experience.

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Notable Quotes

• Big Jay Oakerson ([06:56]): "If I was ever gonna vote for a guy for [office], it's the balls of the commercial is so great."
• Robert Kelly ([01:40]): "He’s like this blinking box in my hand. Why do words keep forming?"
• Big Jay Oakerson ([35:19]): "I go live version of it first always. Because they've done it better Time Live."
• Big Jay Oakerson ([32:24]): "I don't care about his politics at all. I'm not voting. It doesn't fucking matter."
• Robert Kelly ([11:15]): "He’s like, you have tension femur. You got overtime nuts."

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Conclusion

"Crack Changed Everything" is a testament to Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly's prowess in blending sharp political insights with unfiltered humor. Through their engaging dialogue, they navigate a landscape rife with absurdity, offering listeners both laughter and a satirical lens through which to view current events. Whether dissecting campaign ads or reminiscing about classic movies, the duo ensures that the conversation remains dynamic, entertaining, and thought-provoking.

Transcript

[Big Jay Okerson]

And now the Bonfire with Big J.

[Robert Kelly]

Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, this is great. I think this has a Jamaican guy doing something in the middle of it also. That was a big 90s thing. Throw a Jamaican guy in there. Hardcore. What's the guy who had the. With shine? It's like when you just like, you get famous, like almost like Scatman Crothers. You get famous for like a. Just a little riff of noise out of your mouth. Barrington Livy was. Oh, the bonfire faction talk, SiriusXM103. I'm Big Jay Okerson. Robert Kelly is deep in the woods and fuck knows what's going on out there. Him and Jim are maybe sucking, fucking each other. Bobby Lee and Yamanika formed some weird alliance. Someone's eating somebody for sure. Oh, there he is. That's Bobby treading water. Bobby. Bobby will be back next week. We have guest hosts running with us all week this week, except Thursday. Thursday we're gonna be of course airing the. The show we did from Skank Fest where Jacob was pageantry. Jacob and the Jacob players. We all did our part, but Jacob pulls the heavy lifting of that show always. And he killed it. Sharp dressed, sharp dressed, sharp wit, deep character, big moves. He goes into it, dude. And you can't bother him when he's in it. Dude. We were saying earlier, he's like Daniel Day in there for a while. When you go in that room before the show, you're talking to a game show. Talking to Jake Batat, game show host. You're not talking to Jacob.

[Mike Fenoya]

He's like this blinking box in my hand. Why do words keep forming?

[Robert Kelly]

He's like Ralphie waiting to meet Santa. He's like, don't bother me. I'm a thinking.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I was trying to think of that scene the other day. What is the kid. I like the wizard of Oz. I like the Tin Man.

[Robert Kelly]

I like the Tinman. Don't bother me.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I'm thinking sitting in the Bobby's chair this fine evening is. Yes, that's right, everyone. It's America's amigo Poncho Mike himself. The great and hilarious Mike Fenoya.

[Robert Kelly]

Yesy.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Mike's got a new podcast called Are we old? With Charles McBee. Am I saying his name right?

[Robert Kelly]

Yep.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Nice. It's available wherever you get podcasts. It's for the aging man. It's a podcast for the aging man. We all understand that. Probably, I assume talking about salves and different kind of orthotics you could put in your shoes.

[Robert Kelly]

We go into Advil this week.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, you guys always honor Dr. Scholl's birthday.

[Mike Fenoya]

I'm getting my shingles vaccine. Again? Yeah, yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Whoa.

[Robert Kelly]

Again.

[Mike Fenoya]

You have to. You need to get every two years.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Really?

[Mike Fenoya]

Well, you don't want shingles.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I heard some other. Fuck.

[Mike Fenoya]

It's excruciating.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, my grandmother had it. It's not good. Excruciating, just burning, boiling. But it does end her life. Yeah, eventually.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No, no, no.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, the shingles.

[Big Jay Okerson]

The shingles themselves eventually do.

[Robert Kelly]

I thought you just meant the existence.

[Becky Rodriguez]

Chickenpox. Right?

[Big Jay Okerson]

It's. If you had chicken pox, you can get shingles. You can get shingles.

[Becky Rodriguez]

My friend got them in her 30s just from stress.

[Big Jay Okerson]

What? Shingles? I don't think that's how that works.

[Robert Kelly]

No, I don't think so.

[Becky Rodriguez]

Stress shingles, that's what the stretching.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, that's a doctor. We wanted to. She must have gone in at 5:59.

[Robert Kelly]

He's like, you got tension aids, it's not a big deal.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. He goes, you have stress. Whatever you're feeling. Doctor, my elbow hurt. Oh, you have stress elbow.

[Robert Kelly]

You got tension femur. You got overtime nuts.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Got overtime nuts. It's good to have you also sitting in studio, by the way. We should sell for the. For the OG fans. Everybody knows. Joining us in studio, hanging out, listening to the show, it's our old friend B Rod, Becky Rodriguez. Hi, guys.

[Robert Kelly]

And we were watching Poetic.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Her spaceship parked it in the park or something.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, she's starting to. She looks like she's been hanging out on Stanhope's compound for the past couple years.

[Big Jay Okerson]

A little bit. Yeah. You're like a dork whore. It's compliment.

[Robert Kelly]

It's definitely a niche. Last time we were here together was an interesting time.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, it was the day before everything shut. I think the next morning we came in to do the pre record interview with Lil Dicky, who was not into us, by the way. Lil Dicky. I thought we were gonna have so much.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. So much in common.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I thought the Philly thing was gonna be right away bros for life. And I went, well, you grew up in Cheltenham, right? And he goes, shelton Ham. And I was like, well, we hate each other.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, now you live in Knobville, right? You fucking asshole.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Fucking jerk off face. We like the same stuff. I saw everything. I was like, dude, is it awesome? I go, I've seen you at the games. Like they put you like down there like Celebrity Row for what the Sixers have. I go, that's gotta be awesome, dude. Have you gotten to meet like Ben and Simmons and Joel Embiid. And he was like. I know. Like, I'm friends with him. That was every kind of. Remember that. It was. God, he did not enjoy me at all.

[Robert Kelly]

I wish you coughed, Covid right into his fucking dumb eye.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I hope he got it that day. Suck on that, Dave. Season three.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, make a rap about that. With no air in your lungs, you ran downstairs to see if you could find a thermometer so we can all check our temperature. Cause at that point, that was how you knew if you were gonna live or die.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And the only available one was, like, 60 bucks.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And it was 20 blocks away. Really?

[Robert Kelly]

I hustled 20 blocks. It was the last cardio. I've gotten to this point since the pandemic. It was just like an Alfred Hitchcock episode run. Where she's just, like, running down the street. Like, people are just turning to dust and crying. Birds are flying into buildings and shit.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I don't know if it's those glasses, but you look like you're gonna do stepmother porn. And the red nails. You're gonna seduce a stepson. Your father can't satisfy me because he has erectile dysfunction is all. And I still am a young woman and need a man.

[Robert Kelly]

So good to see you. Thanks. I was going for manic pixie Dream girl.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, yeah, sure. That too. But ultimately, stepmother who fucks her stepson with reckless abandon, with no fear, in fact, kind of hopes your husband comes home and discovers what's happening.

[Robert Kelly]

Are those thrift shop glasses? Thrift shop frames?

[Big Jay Okerson]

No, they're real.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, I need glasses now. Me too. But I thought those were, like. Those look like someone named Maude, owner.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Hashtag, me too.

[Robert Kelly]

Hashtag me too.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Hashtag metoo. I wanted to. Did we talk about this on the phone at all? Because I wanted to bring it up. I think I mentioned on skanks. Possibly. But, dude, the Trump commercial.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I mean, if I was ever gonna vote for a guy for. And by the way, it's nothing to do with the content of the commercial. It's the balls of. The commercial is so great. He's going. Christine. You could definitely find it. It's. It's all Kamala Harris's thing. I'm a. I don't give a fuck about any of those.

[Robert Kelly]

Kamala.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Sure. What am I saying?

[Robert Kelly]

Kamala.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Is that not wrong?

[Robert Kelly]

It is wrong.

[Big Jay Okerson]

It is.

[Robert Kelly]

It's Kamala.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I thought she was named after the Ugandan giant.

[Robert Kelly]

Kamala.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Kamala, the Ugandan giant.

[Robert Kelly]

Am I wrong?

[Big Jay Okerson]

I'm sure that she's not named after Kamala. The Ugandan. You're probably right. No, you're probably right. And I was thinking of a great reason why I could have been right. Because you named Christine. Could you bring up a picture of Kamal, the Ugandan giant, please? Thank you.

[Robert Kelly]

Imagine if she is named after.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, the Ugandan giant. I'm voting for Christine. Put this out from Twitter. A picture of Kamal, the Ugandan giant and go. I'm. Say I'm. I'm voting Kamala.

[Robert Kelly]

I remember Kamala now.

[Becky Rodriguez]

Spelled the same.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yes.

[Becky Rodriguez]

I had a friend, Kamala, that was spelled the same. So I it up too.

[Robert Kelly]

Weren't they saying it wrong on purpose for a while? All Trump's people, he was going like. Like just being a dick.

[Becky Rodriguez]

That's like a Trump move.

[Robert Kelly]

He was going, come on, Camele.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Well, dude, if I was voting for nothing else than balls and hilarious.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

What? What's this?

[Mike Fenoya]

This is the Trump.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No, no, no, no. She's gonna bring up a thing of it. What is. What happens in here? Why would you phone it when we have a whole computer to show it? Hey, listen to it over my phone speaker.

[Mike Fenoya]

Well, it's good.

[Robert Kelly]

He's from Senatobia.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Who? Kamala, the Ugandan giant.

[Robert Kelly]

Kamala.

[Big Jay Okerson]

But Kamala.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes. Thank you, buddy.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I thank you.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't care.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Do no. I know you live and die her. You live and breathe. Kamala. Did you bleed Kamala?

[Robert Kelly]

There we go.

[Big Jay Okerson]

But wait before you.

[Robert Kelly]

Is it just his Play it saggy nuts running across the nation.

[Big Jay Okerson]

All of her commercials are just her stats. It's just given like she lowered this rate and she raised this and she made a lot of money for this and she blah, blah, blah. And she's gonna clean this and the board is gonna be fine and all this stuff. Yeah, I'm hard on crime. Remember I was a prosecutor and blah, blah, blah, blah. And then this. I've only seen one Trump ad.

[Mike Fenoya]

They're all great.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Is there a bunch all funny? This one is. This one's world class layer. Have you seen it yet?

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know. I've seen a couple.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, so you've seen. It's the trans.

[Mike Fenoya]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Let me see it.

[Big Jay Okerson]

It's phenomenal.

[Becky Rodriguez]

My cue's broken right now, so I'm hoping this is just the ad and not people talking over it, but I'm not sure.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I think we need Jim.

[Robert Kelly]

Unbelievable ad. This is the Jim Heath channel playlist of 2024 campaign ads.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Nope. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes.

[Becky Rodriguez]

Three sentenced to life in prison. Kamala Harris pushed to use tax dollars to Pay for his sex change.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I made sure that they changed the policy so that every transgender inmate would have access.

[Becky Rodriguez]

It sounds insane because it is insane to help pay for a prisoner's sex drink.

[Big Jay Okerson]

The power that I had, I. I used it in a way that was about pushing for the movement, frankly.

[Becky Rodriguez]

And the agenda, Kamala's agenda is they them, not you.

[Big Jay Okerson]

The pictures.

[Robert Kelly]

That was it.

[Big Jay Okerson]

The pictures are the best thing in the world. Just shows a series of. Of prisoner. Of male to female trans prisoners. And it's just. They're. They're so happy. They're just smart. He picked the.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at this Beetlejuice in a wedding dress.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Hey, prison all ain't bad to wear.

[Becky Rodriguez]

Those outfits in prison.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm a jail wife.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I made it out of my bed sheets.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm a jail wife. He. Dude, yesterday, he.

[Big Jay Okerson]

That's that. But tell me that. I'll tell you what. Whoever's in charge of his campaign is because one I said before and someone corrected me, and they're kind of right, I think, because I was like, well, he says goodbye completely to trans vote with this.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

But that's not necessarily true. There's a faction of trans people that are like. It's like a. It's like gay people that are like, you know, there's plenty of gay people who are like, stop putting. Putting a butt plug in and dancing on a float. Sure. Fucking Nancy's. You know what I mean?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I'm sure there's gay people that hate drag brunch.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Right, right, right.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

They're like, it's not good for kids or whatever. They have their opinions on it. So I think there's plenty of trans people who are like, this is fucking crazy.

[Robert Kelly]

Is there gay maga? Is that a thing? Is there Gaga?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Sure, there's absolutely, dude. There's queers for Palestine. There's queers for people who want to kill queers.

[Robert Kelly]

Gay tr. Trump Gay maga would be hilarious.

[Becky Rodriguez]

Make America Gays for Trump is an American LGBTQ organization.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Of course.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow, I gotta see some of that. What he did yesterday.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I'll tell you what, though. Every day you wake up in prison, because we still have the picture up here in the studio of the last prison trance that Kamala Harris, I guess cut his wiener off.

[Robert Kelly]

They look pregnant.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, they're not in their two piece body yet. That's other surgeries. Kamala Harris is gonna come in and get him a tummy tuck. Also.

[Robert Kelly]

His boobs dropped already.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yo, Kamala, these titties don't work. I need a bbl. Kamala's for they. Them, not you, not you.

[Robert Kelly]

Unbelievable.

[Becky Rodriguez]

So there's a few of these.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, keep cranking them up. I want to hear every one of them. They're great.

[Becky Rodriguez]

Trump nonsense ad. I think I've only seen that one.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, bring them on. The guys at Jeans.

[Robert Kelly]

Jim Heath is great.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Jim Heath collecting them all.

[Robert Kelly]

Taxpayer funded sex changes for prisoners, surgery.

[Big Jay Okerson]

What?

[Robert Kelly]

For prisoners?

[Big Jay Okerson]

For prisoners. Every transgender. Pause it for a second. It also just shows you, like, even, like I said, fuck Trump. Whatever. Fuck this chick, though, too, because it's the same thing. Like, wherever she goes, she's just gonna be. Whatever that thing is. She wouldn't challenge the ID at all in this forum. She's at the Transgender Equality Action Fund here.

[Robert Kelly]

Sure. Yeah. The background.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. So she. That's the step and repeat. She's run of the photo op. So she's just gonna say. But it's just like, would it be a little, like, smarter of her even to say, like, she has some sort of a line. Like, I don't know if, like, sure, yeah. Like prisoners really need a day. But I'm all for. If adults, consenting adults want to do something. Do what you want to do. But like, you know, not in prison.

[Robert Kelly]

No, of course. And that's like, that's so funny because when she did go, she's like, yeah, I have a gun, and if you break in my house, I'll shoot you. I have a Glock.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

And people were like, oh, she's got a fucking gun, this chick.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I'll put two in you motherfucker.

[Robert Kelly]

I bet you that got her more votes just being like, yeah, I have a gun and I'll shoot you if you break into my house. So play more into that. Be more honest. Crazy.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I think it's. We're going to be surprised how close the election is. I think it's going to be. I think it's going to be super close. And because some people are just like, they just don't care.

[Robert Kelly]

Did you see what he did yesterday, Trump?

[Big Jay Okerson]

No. Is it awesome?

[Robert Kelly]

Dude?

[Big Jay Okerson]

He. He. I heard he caught a bullet in his teeth. Like, Bruce Leroy, did a guy try to shoot him? He caught it in his teeth and then he went.

[Robert Kelly]

And then he did this. And he tied in a knot like a cherry. Like a cherry goes.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And then it glowed when you got the glow.

[Robert Kelly]

He goes, he finished his thing, right? It was hot in the room. They cranked the heat up for some reason. And all these people started like, I think two People passed out and they had to call for medics. And he goes, it's a little warm in here, but it's okay. You could deal with it, like, telling people to like. And then everything ends. And he goes, and now we're just going to listen to some beautiful music. And he just stood on stage and suede while they played like. Like, weird songs.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Hot in her. You gotta find a place, take off all your shit.

[Robert Kelly]

The Boats and Hoes song, you know, Like. Like they played that. And he's just going like this. Like he's in an elevator by himself. Dude, fine.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Opera. He goes, anyway, I'm Teflon, bulletproof. You can't take me down. Kamala Harris is trying to cut off wieners in prison.

[Becky Rodriguez]

I'm gonna try to find him.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I'm being the coolest. And anyway, now if you don't mind some light Italian opera fare.

[Robert Kelly]

He goes, a little bit jelly for that ass. They're insane. They're all completely insane, all of them. Here it is.

[Becky Rodriguez]

It says Trump. There it is, the PBS. But it says, Trump stops town hall 30 minutes early.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Look.

[Becky Rodriguez]

Sways to music.

[Robert Kelly]

Look above. It ends. Look at ends. Town hall. And then impromptu dance and concert of creative.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Let me see it.

[Becky Rodriguez]

Well, this is only 53 seconds. I think we got to go to.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at that.

[Becky Rodriguez]

This is a live stream.

[Robert Kelly]

That's a smelly room, dude. That room smells like powder and lotion and medicine.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Is this was playing in the back hands of the day?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, there's just crazy music. Yeah, yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

They play this in the background. It's a party in the usa. Look at the party.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at that guy's party. They get Edgar Winter over there.

[Becky Rodriguez]

We gotta get to the end where he sways.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

He goes, now we're just gonna play some. There it is. He just stands like face. He's like a.

[Big Jay Okerson]

He goes, kamala Trump's a dumb, stupid Hispanic. Kick it.

[Robert Kelly]

Everyone's just sitting there. Weird dude.

[Becky Rodriguez]

I want to hear where he makes the call. It'd be great if I could cue.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I'll get you.

[Robert Kelly]

Gotta get you right there.

[Jacob]

So if you've watched any of our last rallies, we have a Criminal aliens act of 1798. That's a long time ago.

[Robert Kelly]

That wasn't yesterday.

[Jacob]

To do what has to be done to secure our country. And you're right, you know? So I'll tell you this.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Pause it. Son of a bitch has dropped a few.

[Becky Rodriguez]

Yeah, I kind of want to get the Trump text because I get the Kamala Harris texts, and I kind of want to know what's going on.

[Robert Kelly]

What do you mean?

[Becky Rodriguez]

Like, oh, the text and emails of, like, oh, you got emails from Barack Obama?

[Robert Kelly]

I get them both.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, no, no.

[Robert Kelly]

I could just get them both constantly. And it's like, this is Ted Cruz. We're all drowning in an alien spit.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Sick of all the immigrants raping your mother.

[Robert Kelly]

Yep. He's like, they're outside your house right now fucking your dogs and eating your cats, dude. You want them out? Send 800%. We'll match it. It's always like, send 9,000% before she gets off stage or we're gonna kill your mother.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Who's the hot chick next to him?

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, it's.

[Becky Rodriguez]

Oh, is that Lauren?

[Robert Kelly]

No, it's not. I don't think so.

[Becky Rodriguez]

Buddies now.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Lauren Boebert, your buddy, Skank Fest.

[Robert Kelly]

She's Skank Fest with. Yeah. Wasn't she, like, hanging out?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, but she's so funny. It's like. And they go, by the way, this shows you exactly where I am in politics, though. They're like, lauren Boebert. You're Lauren Boebert. I go, lauren Boebert, the girl jacked off the guy in the movie theater? Yeah. She's like, what is she?

[Becky Rodriguez]

She's a congressman.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Congresswoman. Yeah, she's a congressman. I don't even know that still. She was at the festival. I don't know, but I still know Lauren Boeber is the girl whacked off a guy in our.

[Robert Kelly]

It's insane. Dude.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Was she hot?

[Becky Rodriguez]

She's not.

[Robert Kelly]

She's. She's definitely like, yeah. Politician hot. Yeah. She's like a cute chick.

[Becky Rodriguez]

I didn't know. I didn't realize. I wasn't, like, putting it together. I was just talking to her as a person, and then I walked away.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Christine and her fingered it.

[Becky Rodriguez]

Josh goes, is that Lauren Boebert?

[Big Jay Okerson]

I thought as soon as they watched my. My crowdworks special in the theater and she jacked off Christine the Lady and.

[Robert Kelly]

The Tramp, the Kilo a kratom together. Very nice. No, if. If a sex tape came out, I would 1 million percent watch it. She's definitely watch a sex table.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Lizzo. I don't give a fuck. I watch a sex tape of any famous person.

[Robert Kelly]

Marjorie Taylor Greene. When her sex tape comes out, she's going to have a big fat cock.

[Becky Rodriguez]

Oh, she's the worst.

[Robert Kelly]

She's a beast. I hate her.

[Becky Rodriguez]

I can't believe she's in government.

[Robert Kelly]

She's the one that said that. The chief actually said she's like, Biden Controls the hurricane. She was like, he controls the weather. And people.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Those people. She was the left controls the weather. The left. And he's the Jewish left.

[Robert Kelly]

And he's sitting there going, that's. That' just horseradish. I mean this is just poppycock. You know, he's just being old.

[Big Jay Okerson]

So Marjorie Taylor Greene, she does say crazy shit. How did she get elected? Has this all, by the way. We're not this, none of this stuff is ever like televised like this or did we ever give a shit to watch any of it. Nor did it make like the fucking pop culture news at all. But like, has there been a lady like this in the past? A lady who just is like, she's like a lady who should have like, she puts like new flowers in her hair every day, but like walks around the neighborhood with a cart.

[Robert Kelly]

There's definitely those, those women, but they're not. They don't have a platform carries like.

[Big Jay Okerson]

An urn of ashes of a husband.

[Robert Kelly]

They would have put her in a stockade and throwed old tomatoes at her back in like, you know, I mean, it's ridiculous.

[Becky Rodriguez]

Like a crazy lady on Instagram. Like it, it makes no sense to me.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, but that's because that's what part of politics. It's insane. None of this makes sense. None of it makes sense.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Dude. He should went over and grabbed this chick by the. That should have been his movie. He goes over, he goes now a little Italian opera.

[Robert Kelly]

And she just levitates.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And he goes. And he turns around the camera and he goes, see, they love it.

[Robert Kelly]

He's like, you're now carrying the first baby.

[Mike Fenoya]

Interviewers Trump.

[Robert Kelly]

He really does.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh yeah. Fucking Biden always gets like those square headed dudes. I won't do it unless there's some hot box staring at me. And every time he gets. She goes, she goes, what about your foreign policy? He goes, good question, princess.

[Robert Kelly]

I got a lot of foreign policy. When I was younger. I used to get a lot of foreign ass.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Whatever you say, cupcake. I'm gonna take this one on. I'm gonna do a little improv here, dude. When he told. He told Andrew Schultz that they work alike on stage, weaving in and out of production ideas.

[Robert Kelly]

That was great. And Andrew just started cracking up the weave. It's so fucking crazy, dude. It's so crazy.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Politicians are going on these podcasts is the funniest thing in the world. Something like the View would have been nuts when fucking when Bill Clinton went on the biggest talk show in the world at the time to play Saxophone and look cool. It was like, stop the fucking presses.

[Robert Kelly]

I know.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Almost when Obama went on Marc Maron after. That was huge. After his term, right?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Afterwards.

[Robert Kelly]

I think it was towards the end, I thought, I think it was towards the end of his presidency. Was it because he said, I have the president.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

So it was in.

[Big Jay Okerson]

So, yeah. So like, that was like an amazing thing. Dude, Theo Vaughn. I like Theo very much. Theo's like a buddy.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, he's great.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Sure. But hilarious. But it's just so funny. Like, what was the point of Trump's day to have. You know, it is, I guess in Trump's world, it makes sense. You're gonna get blind votes. You're gonna get blind votes because people. But I'm like, no one who listens to Theo is listening for like political theology. You know what I mean? He's like, he's like, you ever chew hay? One time when I was younger, I chewed a little bit of hay. He goes, good, right? I guess there's all good.

[Robert Kelly]

He's like, man, you're running this thing like a. Like a poodle on a ten speed, man.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You're just totally, you know, Reminds me of a guy. We used to have a guy named High5, but he had no hands. We like the High Five.

[Robert Kelly]

He also had Bernie Sanders on Theo. He had Bernie and he had Trump.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And he's going for Kamala. He's going for the Kamala.

[Robert Kelly]

Is he going for her?

[Becky Rodriguez]

Oh, no. It was during his presidency.

[Robert Kelly]

It was during the presidency. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I. I don't know. I heard Rogan was gonna have both.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Of them, but again, but Mark Maron was also like an older guy. He's like, it's before podcasts were. He's like a well read guy. It's just a thing. So it's just so funny for to be on. I mean, like, dude, the funniest one, when you were like, talk about a guy who's definitely not going anywhere. And this one that was like, tonight on Kill Tony. RFK jr. Kill Tony. He did a hot minute. He did a minute.

[Robert Kelly]

To get a golden ticket.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Do we have RF? Can we find RFK's minute?

[Robert Kelly]

RFK's opening for Hans Kim now.

[Becky Rodriguez]

RK William Montgomery.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, get the killer. The killers of Kill Tony tour. Cam Patterson, RFK Jr.

[Robert Kelly]

In my brain.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Donnie Jr. Doing a guesty seven minute guest. He's working on some new stuff.

[Robert Kelly]

Dr. Phil's interviewing Don Jr. Oh, man. It's out of control, dude. It's. Yeah, it's nuts. Nobody Ever did any of this.

[Becky Rodriguez]

The hot minute was the craziest one.

[Mike Fenoya]

That's just.

[Becky Rodriguez]

That's crazier to me than Trump being on Schultz's now.

[Robert Kelly]

No. You know what? I'll get Kamala did to talk to Daddy. Call me Daddy. Call me dad. Call her Daddy.

[Becky Rodriguez]

No, she didn't.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes, she did that.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Whoa, stop. Everybody stop for a second. Like to formally apologize to the company right now and say that wasn't coming from places. This we all understand. SiriusXM. Mike's a guest. He is. No way. He's not being paid. Do not take this out on the show. We know that we are in the house of Call her daddy. The $125 million project of Sirius XM that they, for some reason, I assume, we thought was worth it.

[Mike Fenoya]

We all benefit from it.

[Robert Kelly]

I'd like to.

[Big Jay Okerson]

We all apologize.

[Robert Kelly]

Allow me to apologize to daddy.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Thank you.

[Robert Kelly]

I apologize, Mrs. Daddy.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yes.

[Becky Rodriguez]

I didn't mean to get Cooper.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No, no. Her name is Daddy. I call her daddy.

[Robert Kelly]

Ms. Daddy. I saw her in the elevator. Nice to meet you, Miss Daddy.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Nice. Hey, Daddy.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, Miss Daddy. Hey, Daddy. She did that one, and then she did all the smoke, which is. I think that's maybe two basketball players or something. It's two black dudes. I know that one's a basketball player.

[Big Jay Okerson]

All the smoke is. Yes. Stephen Jackson.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And Matt Barnes.

[Robert Kelly]

Right. So she did that one. But I heard they're both gonna do. What's it called? She's gonna do an interview on Fox before this thing gets. Dude, I swear to God, I don't know fucking shit about politics, but I'm watching it like, it's the last season of the Wire right now, by the way. Not.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, it's like you mentioned. You mentioned Matt Barnes. And I always makes me say. Again, it's a little. Not speak. All the dead. Kobe Bryant always accepted his hero status for the time Matt Barnes, they thought, like, faked the ball right into his face, like an inch from his face, and he didn't flinch. And they were like ice in his veins. And then they show you the overhead, and they're nowhere near each other.

[Robert Kelly]

It's an alcoholic.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Bryant never came up with the. Kobe Bryant never said, no, no, no. He didn't do that. They were like, look how stoic this guy stays while he's getting a ball thrown in his face. Like, no, no.

[Robert Kelly]

I think it's kind of funny that, like, Obama going on Marin, and Marin's just like. You ever meet Keith Richards? Smoke a cigarette with him. So what Was your dad like. Who was that guy?

[Big Jay Okerson]

I don't know, man.

[Robert Kelly]

Did you do the thing? Huh? Did you go to the thing and see the guy everybody Marin talks to? It's the same thing, huh? How was your childhood?

[Big Jay Okerson]

I still love when he made Gallagher man. You walk around. He's gotta go. Gallagher. Gallagher. Ah, Gallagher.

[Robert Kelly]

He's gonna smash my car. I didn't mean that.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Fuck.

[Robert Kelly]

Where's my skin, huh?

[Big Jay Okerson]

He's got the smash O Matic 5000A. Gallagher. Gallagher.

[Robert Kelly]

Somebody get a tarp. It's so weird that. Yeah, he's nuts. I do listen to him. He does his little tirades all the time. He's a. He came into the cellar at a very weird time.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, great. Another handsome guy underneath Christine's console for the show. God damn it. Every show.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, the holidays are coming. He came to this.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I wanted Christine to do the. Remember when the girl was on. It was at Police Academy. That's always the thing I'm thinking of when I make that joke. Police Academy podium. And he's like, oh, oh, Punky. Oh, Mahoney, Mahoney, Mahoney. Would you like some lemonade? I'd love some lemonade.

[Robert Kelly]

I'd love some lemonade.

[Big Jay Okerson]

But then he thought Mahoney sucked his dick, by the way. They just let it. They just let that hang. Of course, that always. That hangs for everything that Mahoney was in from that moment. They just let it hang. That. The Commandant Lessard definitely thinks Mahoney sucked his dick under a thing. He finished. He finished. And then when he peeked out of the thing and waved high, he was like, oh, God. And then there's just like a cartoon almost. It just moved on.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Mike Fenoya]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Because. Well, I will never talk about that time you sucked me off to completion underneath my podium while I was giving. Addressing the. The graduating class of the Police Academy.

[Robert Kelly]

Biden reminds me of Commandant Lassard after he gets blown. That's Biden's like resting Lessard face.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And it's so lovely.

[Robert Kelly]

So lovely.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And everything's.

[Robert Kelly]

I also love what's her. What was her name? The hot yet big lady cop that she was.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Leslie Easterbrook.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I forget her name because she catches.

[Robert Kelly]

What'S his face for hanging out in the. In the women's dorm and makes him fucking pay with her puss hole.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Push hole. She. Yeah, well, she was always good for getting there in her. Those big crazy fake cans.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, Eddie. She's like, oh, no you don't. And like pulls back in from the hallway.

[Big Jay Okerson]

She was Rhonda. On Laverne and Shirley.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

She was their neighbor. And then she was the mom in Devil's Rejects.

[Robert Kelly]

No.

[Big Jay Okerson]

So six degrees. And then somebody was with something with Kevin Bacon.

[Robert Kelly]

Kevin Bacon watched Devil's Rejects.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Kevin Bacon watched Devil's Rejects once. I heard that's Michael J.

[Robert Kelly]

Fox.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Are we all good? Well, Christine, if you have to have a guy go down on you every day. Thank you.

[Becky Rodriguez]

Can't make those jokes here, Jay.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Why?

[Robert Kelly]

Mahoney? You can't make that movie again.

[Big Jay Okerson]

What?

[Robert Kelly]

Police Academy.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Why?

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know. It would just be a thing because. Well, obviously, the whole.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You just gotta make. He's gotta make all the people that kill white. I'm making a police.

[Robert Kelly]

Gotta move. Chris Tucker as Commandant Lassard.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I still. I'm very. I'd love to do my idea of redo shot for shot. Boys in the hood and. And menace society. But just white actors change. Nothing else.

[Robert Kelly]

Boys in the neighborhood.

[Big Jay Okerson]

It would make Richard Dreyfuss so happy. Remember, Richard Dreyfuss is very upset that he can no longer play a Negro character.

[Robert Kelly]

Unbelievable.

[Big Jay Okerson]

That was the best. And then the one when he had him when he was. Richard was sitting like this in Bill Maher's house.

[Mike Fenoya]

I just saw that. You're so odd. You're uncomfortable watching you.

[Becky Rodriguez]

Yeah.

[Mike Fenoya]

He's sitting like, why are you doing that?

[Big Jay Okerson]

He's sitting with the old Maxell commercial.

[Robert Kelly]

Like it's about to get blasted with some base.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Grab a glass of. A red. Glass of red wine. That's firing on the table.

[Robert Kelly]

He looked so stupid. Just hang out at Jaws Comic Con and relax.

[Becky Rodriguez]

Do you want to see this transition from.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. Where he says, play the music.

[Becky Rodriguez]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

So great.

[Jacob]

This country has.

[Robert Kelly]

Look, someone with a gun. Try it.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Who's that?

[Robert Kelly]

I'm rubber your glue.

[Big Jay Okerson]

The next guy who's ass and Beth a kick.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. They're like, turn down the heat. Another person passed out. He's, like, cranky.

[Big Jay Okerson]

He's like, I'll turn down the heat, but then I'm gonna turn up the music to 10 and rip the knob off.

[Robert Kelly]

He's like, throw another immigrant on the fire.

[Big Jay Okerson]

It's Donald J. Trump with today's hottest, hottest, hottest opera music.

[Robert Kelly]

He's like, you want to meet in my trailer after toots?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. I can smell between your legs from here. It's delightful.

[Robert Kelly]

She's like. He's like, is that Bath and Body Works, baby.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Here it goes.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You still owe me a rim job.

[Robert Kelly]

I use the presidential bidet. This is it.

[Big Jay Okerson]

He knows how to get people hyped up.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, she's got a walk on her. She walks puss forward.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah.

[Becky Rodriguez]

Make America safe again. Is that the new thing?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, yeah. Guys almost get shot every other week, probably. I can see him feeling that way.

[Robert Kelly]

I'll tell you, if you're. If you're a Chiefs fan and a Trump fan, you really don't have to shop. Look at that. It's all. That's Chiefs red. That's Kansas City Chiefs red right there. There's so much. You could just blend in with a. You can make your own shit.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I know.

[Robert Kelly]

And then there's a Louis J. Gomez hat down there, right? The American flag. His.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Who are the weirdos? The thing is, like, there's always for sure at the. At the Republican stuff at this point. There's always weirdos in the audience. Yeah, like great lunatic, like you said. That guy looks like he just came off of a fucking fishing boat and put a blazer on.

[Robert Kelly]

Like the guy who invented another kind of shamweim.

[Big Jay Okerson]

What are the democratic weirdos? It's that, right? Like someone who has like a man made cock and pussy and four tips.

[Robert Kelly]

A human octopus.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. It's like it's a four year old with leg extensions and a fake penis.

[Robert Kelly]

They have a guy named Randolph that invented a new pronoun and now the inventor of the new pronoun, hua.

[Big Jay Okerson]

He goes, are you.

[Robert Kelly]

This guy's pussy has a vagina?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. My pronouns are she and hua.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, here again.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Here he goes. Kick the music. Dj.

[Robert Kelly]

Anyone comes to those doors, you know what's gonna happen.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Everything is like, dude, he's just working out like Rocky 3 while they play music. And now a public workout.

[Robert Kelly]

You're the best.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Training, getting ready for the fight.

[Robert Kelly]

Nothing gonna bring me down. And I know it's really warm in here. Everybody agrees that it's really warm in here.

[Big Jay Okerson]

We've got a lot of people who love America. I'm gonna ask that if you have a chair, maybe sit.

[Robert Kelly]

So everyone around, hit your neighbor in the head with it and still see the president. And.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And now the second stanza from Lam.

[Jacob]

Personally, I enjoy this. We lose weight.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at this guy. I'm down, dude. I'll do it if you do it. Buddy system Sober October.

[Jacob]

But some people have been waiting here for two days for this. So, you know, it's a little bit. It's a little bit tough. It's a little bit tough, but they're going to try and get those doors open. And I don't know whose building this is, but if they had air conditioning. Do you see any air conditioning?

[Big Jay Okerson]

I like them. I hate. I don't care about his politics at all. I'm not voting. It doesn't fucking matter. And I don't know anything about what he wants to do with his politics. I just. The guy's a character. It's literally. It's like. I also like the guy. Remember the old video of the guy who wags his wiener in a little Speedo and goes, can you fuck like a duck when you suck? Can you shit on my nuts when we fuck?

[Robert Kelly]

You like him like that?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, all right, all right. I'm okay with that.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I want to see more of his work works.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, sell me your mixtape, please, can you?

[Big Jay Okerson]

A little duck when you suck.

[Robert Kelly]

I just wish that you put all.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Your face in my butt.

[Mike Fenoya]

A leader. A leader has to vamp.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Huh?

[Mike Fenoya]

A leader has to know how to vamp for sure. She's got times, like, she's got to.

[Robert Kelly]

Lean more into just being like. Are you guys insane? You're gonna vote for this wacko?

[Big Jay Okerson]

I like Trump and I like this guy.

[Robert Kelly]

See, if this guy was running as VP instead of Vance, dude, this guy's America right here. That guy's got a fucking. He's got an amendment in his dick.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Hey, listen, we live in New York City. This is what the rest of the country is.

[Becky Rodriguez]

I think I see this in New York.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Huh?

[Robert Kelly]

That's the Naked Cowboy. Remember the Naked Cowboy in Times Square?

[Becky Rodriguez]

America's got talent that hangs out in Union Square.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You can't just kind of. You can't have this kind of electronic setup here in Manhattan.

[Robert Kelly]

No.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Also, you also get murdered. Yeah, you also get murdered in five seconds when your little dork is dinging out like that.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, and that's got a cooler full of Yingling and Fanta behind the drummer, too.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Wait, is this another hit?

[Robert Kelly]

You wanted to hear the new.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. This isn't a Goat and your mom. No, this is Goat and your mom.

[Mike Fenoya]

I like that. The band desperately define the beat of this.

[Big Jay Okerson]

It's almost like Christine doesn't know. Acting like she doesn't know the catalog.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, that's a quick zoom in on the hog, though. Look at that play. Taking care of business.

[Big Jay Okerson]

There's an official music video.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Christine, please. God. How's this? Miss me forever?

[Robert Kelly]

Look at that. I think this guy's actually less Claypool in disguise.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Nope. Find the original. I don't like that at all.

[Robert Kelly]

You hate when the original and the. And the studio don't match. But this time, you like the live.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Well, I like.

[Robert Kelly]

And you hate the studio. Of course.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Well, listen. Many, many a song. I go live version of it first always. Because they've done it better Time Live.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Somehow better.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, you don't want to hear Peter Frampton. Do you feel like we do in the studio. You gotta hear Womp, womp, womp.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Did he even do it in the studio ever?

[Mike Fenoya]

I don't know.

[Robert Kelly]

Probably.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I don't know.

[Robert Kelly]

Who the fuck cares?

[Big Jay Okerson]

No one knows.

[Robert Kelly]

No one cares.

[Big Jay Okerson]

That was an album that was like the. Almost like the Chris Rocks Almost the Peter Frampton Story. Like the. They were gonna kind of get out of it and then they just decided to do one last little thing. Did his was Bring the pain.

[Robert Kelly]

Did Sting. Did Sting do that for you? Play things the way you wanted them to hear them. Did he. Did he nail the. Or did he get weird and ski bop?

[Big Jay Okerson]

No, he didn't try. He didn't do it weird. It's just instrumentally wasn't as good as.

[Mike Fenoya]

With the police in 2008. Man.

[Robert Kelly]

I did too. Dude. Great. Such a great show.

[Mike Fenoya]

A kid. And they finally just said they all right. One tour.

[Robert Kelly]

They played a bunch of good old.

[Mike Fenoya]

They played a bit.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. Guys. The Police. Schmoles. Christine.

[Robert Kelly]

Sorry.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Go.

[Robert Kelly]

And your mom.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, yeah. Stuart Copeland. Great. I never hear Sting at a baseline like this.

[Robert Kelly]

This dude is great.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Describe the scene, J. Oh, everyone knows this scene. There's a. Almost everyone's shirtless to some degree. Definitely no sleeves.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And there's one guy just doing tumble sauces around a dirt yard.

[Robert Kelly]

This is a Renaissance fair meets Gathering of the Juggalos.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Basically you on my chest.

[Robert Kelly]

Damn.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I thought I knew it. By the way, children, there's a fat bald guy with a beard doing. Everyone's doing cartwheels.

[Robert Kelly]

That's how my hair would look if I grew it.

[Mike Fenoya]

J. There in the mosh pit.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Just for good.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, man.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Dude. And by the way, none of these guys have this good of a sense of humor. So they are serious about this.

[Robert Kelly]

They're just setting off fireworks break down. You're not going to get this in the studio.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Dude. I saw Quack like a duck 90. It was. It was their first farewell tour.

[Becky Rodriguez]

Started YouTube, I think.

[Robert Kelly]

Open for Silver Chair. All I want to do is you in the butt. He looks like Chris Robinson from the Black Crows.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Of course. For sure. Some rich person. You don't have to be rich. I bet this guy's gotten plenty of work.

[Becky Rodriguez]

I hope so.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, yeah.

[Becky Rodriguez]

Privates.

[Robert Kelly]

Absolutely. Christine, can we find out if we could book him.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, I want to definitely have this guy for a house party. Can you. On my butt for good luck, will you? On my nuts when we.

[Robert Kelly]

He's got Iggy Pop torso. He's got, like, a 12 pack of abs.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. He's got fantastic long hair, too.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, he really does. He looks like Kim. A mix of, like, Iggy Kim. F. What is it? Thale from Soundgarden? Yeah.

[Becky Rodriguez]

Miss, can you fart on my balls? When we.

[Robert Kelly]

Mike, fart on the balls. You can always roll on.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I like to think that he was sitting. I think they think that he was writing that at some point. Goes. Can you. On my chest for good luck. Can you fart on my balls when we. What? I'm busy. You're up. The creative process.

[Robert Kelly]

I gotta get a studio. Dude. I can't keep doing this in the living room. Jesus Christ. Can you watch the kids?

[Big Jay Okerson]

I like the staring up. No, no.

[Robert Kelly]

You think Beautiful Loser wrote itself.

[Becky Rodriguez]

Wait, do you want to see any of these other commercials?

[Robert Kelly]

I want to see if we could book him. My birthday's coming up. What's her face she's doing now. I wanted to tell you. Kamala Harris is now doing Kamal.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You got Kamala.

[Robert Kelly]

The great Kamala is now doing commercials where she's clipping up his craziest moments, right? And going like. He's like, hey, if people don't agree with me, maybe we use the National Guard. Maybe we use the military. Maybe we just get him out of here. And she's playing those and letting the crowd go.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh.

[Robert Kelly]

And she's like, now do you see what we're gonna face here? And it's like, come on, step it the fuck up. You gotta meet this dude in the ring. You know what I mean? Like, get it. Get it up to, like, if you're wwf.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No, because you're the reason. I understand not doing that also. I get it. Like, get in the mud, too. But this is the concept of like. Like, you want to believe if she wins, it's because, like, rationality.

[Robert Kelly]

Sure.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Like, people that are like, you know. But it's like, you know, let live and let be. Well, that's not really what the left is anymore. It's not really a live and let be. It's.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't think any. I think it's all a big, giant mess. And I don't know if anybody knows what they are anymore.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I.

[Robert Kelly]

There's the big stupid.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Well, Becky Rodriguez is a stepmother having sex with her stepson.

[Robert Kelly]

She makes stained glass.

[Big Jay Okerson]

So some people.

[Robert Kelly]

So some People are defined, Mike. She teaches violin to deaf kids.

[Big Jay Okerson]

To deaf kids. And then she shows them a boob and knows no one's gonna understand when she tries it. When they try to tell people she.

[Robert Kelly]

Washes dishes at the bed and breakfast just to help out.

[Mike Fenoya]

This goes along with what? The Trump ads. I just read the Marvel comics. They just changed the character of Hawkeye to a. He's now a non binary Native American who. Who goes. Who claims to hold on goes both ways.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No, not my concern would be that isn't having a Native American should be a bow and arrow specialist kind of insensitive.

[Robert Kelly]

Non binary.

[Becky Rodriguez]

What?

[Mike Fenoya]

Wait, hold on here. It's a. A non binary Native American who. Who claims has two spirits.

[Becky Rodriguez]

Oh, a two spirit.

[Robert Kelly]

A male and female spirit.

[Mike Fenoya]

Yes.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, nice.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, now what's the. What's the. They them for spirits?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah. I don't know. Spiritual. Hey, Hawkeye, is it gay if I you today or not?

[Robert Kelly]

What day is it?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Hey, what spirit you got spirit or dick spirit today?

[Robert Kelly]

That's crazy, dude. Oh, and he's wearing like a T mobile. Magenta.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Hell yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Third day and he's got.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And he's got a. He's got Leland Chapman hair dog the bounty hunter son.

[Robert Kelly]

You know who was way ahead of this was GI Joe. Because GI Joe's didn't have a dick or a puss. They just had a plastic nothing. Right.

[Big Jay Okerson]

What's that?

[Robert Kelly]

GI Joe's didn't have any holes or, you know, they just had nothing. They would break.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Remember those pieces would break off.

[Robert Kelly]

That was the first piece to break. And the hip elastic.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, the piece always broke off. It was the worst. But then you can learn how to unscrew them. And you can put other cockpieces on the other ones.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, that was the beginning of transitional surgeries.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, but I would break the pieces off the female GI Joes on purpose.

[Robert Kelly]

There was one GI Joe lady that had a good set of teats on her. I forget her name.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Probably Scarlet.

[Robert Kelly]

Was it Scarlet? And there was another one, though. Maybe.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Well, Jinx, the female ninja was who Road Pig had to save. But she had little. She had little stingers, though. She didn't have big cans. That wasn't Road Pig's thing.

[Robert Kelly]

No.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And when she was at that party, he had to go rescue her from all the other bad people. That party to Bon Jovi's. I'll be there for you.

[Robert Kelly]

He wanted a chick that could jump in and drive stick if the need presented itself. So are they gonna change about big tits?

[Mike Fenoya]

There's no more Jeremy. No more Jeremy Renner. As you know it. It's now what can it be? It's this. Well, this is the comic book nobody's buying anymore. The industry.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Here's what I'm picturing.

[Mike Fenoya]

Collapsed.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Here's what I'm Picturing. Tim Curry's Dr. Frank N. Furter with arrows. Okay, hear me out. Elevator pitch.

[Robert Kelly]

Spirit animal.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I'm just a sweet transvestite. Hang on. Thanos from Old Transsexual.

[Robert Kelly]

Did you ever go see that in the theater? Did you ever go to the Rocky Horror Picture Show?

[Big Jay Okerson]

I knew I was straight, pretty young. I didn't have to go throw on some heels and find out Christine used to fucking. Did you go sex with a guy who would put on fishnets and go do that?

[Robert Kelly]

You did?

[Becky Rodriguez]

Yep. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Weird.

[Becky Rodriguez]

Not really. What we're together, but my friend, she's lying. No, he didn't. I don't think he went.

[Big Jay Okerson]

You told me there was times that you did something and. Because he was going to.

[Becky Rodriguez]

No, that's when he's playing World of Warcraft, which.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, you said. Here we go. Him and his friends would all go to Rocky Horror and dress up like ladies.

[Becky Rodriguez]

No, my best friend's boyfriend, who was his best friend had a whole alternate character named Crystal Price that he was dressed up as. And Thomas, I mean, the guy was a total nerd.

[Robert Kelly]

He mixed an iced tea and a toy company.

[Becky Rodriguez]

And my boyfriend dressed up. I don't think he dressed up a lot, but he did dress up for you.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Look at her pull me down.

[Robert Kelly]

Not for you.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No.

[Becky Rodriguez]

He was very straight laced, Hawaiian shirt type guy.

[Robert Kelly]

Khakis, Hawaiian shirt.

[Big Jay Okerson]

He made Christine dress up like Rocky, though.

[Robert Kelly]

Rocky Dennis.

[Mike Fenoya]

I got dragged to this once because I thought it was gonna. No, Susan Sarandon in her prime.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Sure.

[Mike Fenoya]

This sucked. I was never into this. I enjoy the audience.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, the movie is entertaining. I don't hate them. I mean, I don't know if I'd ever watch it again, but like when it finally came on vhs, that was a big deal. Yeah, yeah, vhs. I remember seeing it being like. That was fun. Yeah, it's like a weird. It's like. I tell you what, if I would have smoked pot when I was young, I probably would have loved it. To that we.

[Robert Kelly]

It was like a thing you had to watch, you know what I mean? Like a girl in high school.

[Big Jay Okerson]

But no, never, never.

[Becky Rodriguez]

But I never went to the shows and they were pretty big in la.

[Robert Kelly]

Now's the time of year.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Well, you didn't want to go see Your boyfriend chugging balls in a while, people throwing popcorn.

[Becky Rodriguez]

Also right around that time, I guess, early 2000s, Hedwig became super popular. And that was like the new dress up.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Isn't it about someone cutting their cock off?

[Becky Rodriguez]

I don't know.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't even know. It is Hedwig and the.

[Becky Rodriguez]

And the Hedwig and the angry inch.

[Robert Kelly]

Is the angry inch. The. Let the cock he left on. He misses his friends. I don't know if the cock he.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Left on or if he cut an inch off.

[Robert Kelly]

This cock's too big, I gotta cut it off. I keep killing these women with my cock.

[Big Jay Okerson]

That's still my favorite transition in all of pornography. Deep Throat. When the girl tells her boyfriend, I'm sorry, but my clitoris is in my throat and I can't be with a person unless they're like, have a nine inch penis. And he goes, well, let me call the doctor. And he goes, doctor, can you do me a favor? Linda says she can only be with someone if they have a nine inch penis. You can what? You can, you can. Oh, my God. And he hangs the phone and goes, they said they can cut it down to whatever size we need. Deep throat. Deeper than deep your throat. Don't buy a boat, don't cross a moat. That's all she wrote. Is that the song, though? You got it. It's the greatest song ever.

[Robert Kelly]

Don't buy a boat, don't cross them.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No, I don't think that's what they say at all.

[Robert Kelly]

It's just hilarious.

[Big Jay Okerson]

I'm just making that up. But it does. But that's the tune of it.

[Robert Kelly]

Just go, dude, just. This guy's coked up in a studio going, dude, I nailed it.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Christine, who sings D. Deep Throat, the song I like to look into his other works.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Deep Throat Live at Buddha Khan.

[Big Jay Okerson]

It's coming. This is where she gets all excited. She goes, oh, my God, they can make your penis small enough to be 9 inches.

[Robert Kelly]

Luis Perenno sings it. Louis Perano, so Greek.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Bring up the lyrics, Christine, to this, your tinkler. The solution is quite clear for if we both can.

[Robert Kelly]

Jacob, I feel like this is in your register, I think.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Don't row a boat, don't row a.

[Robert Kelly]

Boat, don't get a goat.

[Big Jay Okerson]

That's all she wrote. That's the one for sure.

[Robert Kelly]

Incredible. That's a writing session I wish I was in on. He's like, what can we rhyme?

[Big Jay Okerson]

Don't get a boat, don't get your.

[Robert Kelly]

Goat, don't row a boat, don't get your goat. Don't get your.

[Big Jay Okerson]

That's strong. I love that they film that strong music. May.

[Robert Kelly]

I love that they filmed it. He. He got like. He filmed it. Recorded this when the Zamboni was cleaning the ice during periods. That's just. AHL Hockey Rink, Oregon.

[Big Jay Okerson]

What's. What are the songs that tell the whole story of the movie within the song? Cuz that's good. That's so hilarious.

[Robert Kelly]

For porno as Debbie Does, Dallas has a pretty. Pretty interesting song in the beginning, but I can't remember if it's.

[Big Jay Okerson]

But I'm not talking about pornos. And I'm saying, like, but that. Yes, the Deep Throat's written for that for sure. But like, the actual writing session, you know, isn't like A View to a Kill. It's like James Bond is skiing on a hill.

[Robert Kelly]

What's it called? Is Huey Lewis. Huey Lewis. We did this a long time ago on Skanks. It was Back in Time. The song Back in Time was written for the movie.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

But he. And he says, like, is this the future 1955? And he'd be like, please don't go 88. So those lyrics are all.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, that's in there for sure.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

What's Ghostbusters 2? What's a Bobby Brown? Don't forget about Vigo, the master of evil. Try to battle my boys. That's not Lego. They in control yet.

[Robert Kelly]

You know it, you know it.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know it. It's so funny how old poor Bobby Brown. That guy got to escape the flack of being described as one of the worst rappers of all time. When you were the rapper guy, but also part of the singing group and you were the guy that would go do the rap when needed. That was never a good rap.

[Robert Kelly]

No, never, never, never Bring up the lyric.

[Big Jay Okerson]

My favorite. Bring up the lyrics for the rap. Bobby Brown's rap in every little step. I think I know them all.

[Robert Kelly]

This was a terrible time in music when that. When this became like, when the rap down is the best became a thing.

[Mike Fenoya]

Deepest Bluest is one of my favorite rap songs.

[Big Jay Okerson]

But that's for. But that's for that thing made for a movie. But not even just that. I'm saying LL Cool J, though, has, like, severe skill at rap. Like, he's very good when he puts his, like, heart into doing, like, a hard song or a good song. He's really, really good.

[Mike Fenoya]

It's the synopsis of the movie.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Oh, yeah, yeah. My head is like a shark.

[Mike Fenoya]

He brings you through the entire Movie from beginning to end in the song.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And you have it with the rap. Now go to the Ra. Parkerstein.

[Becky Rodriguez]

I don't know where it's at.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Does it say with rap too hot to handle. No, no, no, that's. No. You're thinking you're doing the Ghostbusters. On our own. This is every little step. Every little step with rap, you have to say, God, it's like no one even knows how to look up. Every little step with rap.

[Becky Rodriguez]

I just gave me the same one.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Well, let me go down. I'll take that song.

[Robert Kelly]

Went straight to Burlington dressing rooms.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Hang on.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, wait, it was up. I think it was.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes, it was, dude. Because look, it went.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Remix. Remix. Let's go. This is gonna be it. Shot of do, Brown. Shot of do. Hang on.

[Robert Kelly]

Verse 3.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yep, there it is. Verse 3.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Yep. Body wants to know what's going down. Not with James or the gym. That's Bobby Brown. Pause it. Pause every time. Everybody wants to know what's going down. Not with the gym, not with James, not the gym, but with Bobby Brown.

[Robert Kelly]

But the Bobby Brown. Yep, that was good.

[Big Jay Okerson]

But no, not with the James, not the gym, but the Bob. The Bobby Brown. That's a lot of. It's a mouthful to get into. A lot. Okay. It's good.

[Robert Kelly]

Coke ears.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Go ahead, play it again. Because I'm chilling. Much harder. Because you all know. Because Bobby Brown was good. Good to go solo. Been on the mic for a long, long time guarantee bust a stupid rhyme. Now I'm on the mic and I'm rocking real fresh.

[Robert Kelly]

Sure.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Everybody out there, don't talk less about me. Pause it. Don't talk less about me.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, that is just terrible. I hope someone got fired right there.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Because I've got a lot of rough and tumble friends and they're gonna meet you in the end. I wrote a better rap for this. It's gang fest.

[Robert Kelly]

Cause I'm rocking it steady when I'm good.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Keep playing it. Don't talk less about me. Cause I'm rocking it steady. And when I'm on the mic. Don't you dare call me Freddy Because I'm ready, really ready to get paid. Check this out, Mike. I drive a 560sec and when I'm on the mic you gotta see me driving down the block. Cause I'm rocking the lock. And when the sucker MCs try to drop my spot. When I'm rocking on the microphone. People gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta leave me alone. I really don't care. I really don't Give a damn. My name is Bobby and not Uncle Sam. I think we owe a deep apology to summer Rain. Put it on a chain. Rang a Dang, dang, dang, dang.

[Robert Kelly]

It got lazy as balls at the end of that, dude.

[Big Jay Okerson]

He's like, cause I'm ready and don't call me Freddy. And everything is steady. Yeah, steady as a Chevy.

[Robert Kelly]

You know what I'm saying?

[Big Jay Okerson]

That's the best part, going back there. Because my name is Brown. That's what they call me. Remember the video? Go to the video, Christine. Now I gotta see him shake his little hips. Oh, it's almost.

[Robert Kelly]

You could totally.

[Big Jay Okerson]

It's almost break time.

[Robert Kelly]

You could totally understand why parents were.

[Mike Fenoya]

Like, our guest is here.

[Big Jay Okerson]

No idea. We had a guest today who's coming in. My name is Brown. That's what they come give the video for it. Four commercials today. Four reads rather. Yeah, you gotta go down the rap, Christine. Learn where the rap is, would you? Wait. Here we are. You can leave it here. It's fine. I just want to see him go. Don't you dare.

[Robert Kelly]

No.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Jacob. Try not to get a boner here.

[Robert Kelly]

This hair, dude. There it is.

[Big Jay Okerson]

And then, thankfully, crack changed everything. Crack came in and changed everything.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Okerson]

Then all of his little steps became.

[Robert Kelly]

For one thing, roller skates turned to rollerblades. Everything got weird, dude.

[Big Jay Okerson]

The shoulder pads turned to rock cocaine.

[Robert Kelly]

No more no shirt and a jacket.