The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode: "Crazy Ex-Wives" with Tom Arnold
Date: October 16, 2025

Episode Overview

In this energetic and deeply personal episode, Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly welcome veteran comedian Tom Arnold to "The Bonfire." Tom, currently on his "My Crazy Ex-Wife" comedy tour, dives head-first into candid conversation about parenthood, addiction, the Hollywood scene, wild exes (including Roseanne), and the dark and bizarre corners of his life. The trio swap war stories, joke relentlessly, and manage to blend raw honesty with moments of laugh-out-loud absurdity.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Late-in-Life Fatherhood & Single Parenting

• Tom shares: He’s a single dad with kids aged 12 and 9 at age 66 (“We celebrate half-birthdays!”) and reflects on the unique challenges and joys of being an older parent.

  “When you're older, it's a good thing to be. There's no age. That's—whatever how old we are, we're today old.” – Tom Arnold [01:50]

• Anecdotes:
  • The exhaustion and humor in parenting (“Nobody wants me taking naps at all.” – Tom Arnold [19:11])
  • How his daughter’s trust falls have (literally) kept him on his toes [19:18]
  • He believes he is a more patient, attentive parent now than he could’ve been younger [21:02]

2. On Working & Dating in Comedy — Risky Business

• Working with partners: Dave asks if working with your significant other is a bad idea. Tom jokes:

  “Has she stabbed you yet? Because she will. No, it’s a guarantee.” – Tom Arnold [02:47]

• Stabbing stories: Tom reveals he was actually stabbed by an ex, but “she was kind enough not to do that [stab the heart], the only reason…is I had a tattoo of her fucking face from my nipple to my collarbone.” [03:06]

3. Extreme Relationships: Comedy, Exes, and Roseanne

• Four ex-wives: Tom self-deprecates about his marital record:

  “You can have three ex-wives and still gotta go, ‘Women, right, buddy? Women.’ If you have four ex-wives, you go, ‘Holy shit, it’s me.’ And it is me.” – Tom Arnold [17:49]

• Roseanne:
  • Tom describes their wild, co-dependent relationship and the professional/personal chaos that ensued.

    “We were really Bonnie and Clyde. Everybody turned on you, and you guys were like, yeah, fuck you.” – Dave Smith [36:27] “That is solid. But we had fun. … We really were the only people that liked each other genuinely.” – Tom Arnold [37:32]

  • He describes removing his “Roseanne” tattoo after their split, and jokes, “It hurts, but it was worth it.” [15:36]
  • On being friends with exes:

    “If you have kids with somebody, you have to have some sort of thing, but you can’t be best friends.” – Tom Arnold [15:53]

4. Sobriety, Addiction, and Recovery

• Bobby’s early recovery:
  • Robert Kelly got sober as a teenager and misses out on “the fun years.”

    “He didn’t get to have any of the fun years. He had to find sobriety at 15. … Because he went so hard from 10 to 15.” – Dave Smith [09:07]

  • Tom praises him for his resilience:

    “Once you start using drugs at that age, man, you know…it’s inspiring.” – Tom Arnold [13:17]

• Relapse stories:
  • Tom humorously admits he relapsed after taking prescribed fentanyl for a broken back and had to reset his sobriety clock [14:03]

    “That’s what I’ve been looking for my whole life.” – Tom Arnold [14:10]

• A bit about sobriety rituals: Tom shares how important the 1-year milestone is, noting he wouldn’t accept a congratulatory gift before hitting that mark [15:02]

5. Childhood Trauma & Facing Demons

• Sexual abuse discussions:
  • Both Bobby and Tom openly discuss being molested as kids. Tom details tracking down his abuser and confronting him as an adult, leading to the exposure of more victims:

    “I grabbed his hand, bent it back, and I said, if you try to do that now, I'd break your fucking neck.” – Tom Arnold [10:58] “…then 30 other kids came forward.” [12:28]

  • Tom emphasizes the cathartic, if complicated, process of facing such trauma [11:16–12:30]

6. Bizarre & Hilarious Side Conversations

• Penis stories:
  • The group riffs on infamous stories of men having their genitals reattached and becoming novelty porn stars, and Tom recalls the time he verified rumors about John Salley’s size while producing a sports show [04:10–05:36].
• Single Dad Porn Habits:
  • Tom describes hiding in the bathroom with an iPad and “Astroglide,” lamenting single dad life [05:50–06:24].
• Sauna adventures: Bobby admits to masturbating in his garage sauna [06:24].

7. Celebrity Life & Comedy War Stories

• Career crossroads:
  • Tom shares meeting his last ex-wife at a Passover Seder, enduring 23 failed IVF attempts, and finally conceiving through a novel medical procedure [29:53–33:22].
  • The story of his daughter’s birth—predicted by a TV medium and realized via a long-frozen embryo—is a highlight for its absurdity and heart [34:04–35:39].

8. Parenting, Childhood Poverty, and Changing Perspectives

• Generational wealth and struggle:
  • Bobby jokes about his son’s overlooked $850 lacrosse stick, contrasting it with his own spoon-for-a-toy childhood [28:15–28:36].
  • Tom notes the gratitude and presence he feels as an older father, appreciating moments in a way he couldn’t have in his 20s [27:57].

9. Behind the Scenes: Fame, Paparazzi, and International Drama

• Roseanne divorce drama:
  • Tom narrates a wild (and likely legally questionable) episode involving Roseanne, her new lover, off-duty Italian police, and full-body-cavity-search revenge [41:35–42:59].
  • On being tabloid regulars:

    “We’d get in there. We can control that. Let’s do crazy shit.” – Tom Arnold [39:28]

  • On how fame eventually controls you: “Eventually you can't control it because they want something back.” [39:28]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Late-in-Life Fatherhood:

"I will be a much better date if I ever have another one because of my daughter, because I’m so freaking patient. … I do stuff I don’t want to do, and I end up loving it." – Tom Arnold [21:02]

On Sobriety Relapse:

"They gave me a shot of fentanyl and I went, oh shit. That’s what I’ve been looking for my whole life … I realize I’m not sober. … I got to start over.” – Tom Arnold [14:10]

On Facing His Childhood Abuser:

“I grabbed his hand, bent it back, and I said, if you try to do that now, I’d break your fucking neck.” – Tom Arnold [10:58]

On Roseanne Tattoo Removal:

“I had my first sobriety date tattooed on me…had to have that removed along with Roseanne.” – Tom Arnold [15:22]

On Being a Four-time Ex-husband:

“If you have four ex-wives, you go, holy shit, it’s me. And it is me.” – Tom Arnold [17:49]

On the Absurdities of Fame:

“If you called the news, they’d put us live on the news.” – Tom Arnold [38:09]

On Catching His Daughter’s Trust Falls:

“Every time she just falls backwards, she knows I’m going to catch her. … Not great for the back, but…these kids deserve everything.” – Tom Arnold [19:18]

On The Perils of Marrying a Comedian:

“She begged you to roast her, you roast her, they pay you, and then you leave. And then in 18 more years, maybe you’ll roast each other again. Right. That’s really the gut.” – Tom Arnold [15:58]

Timestamps for Major Segments

• [01:35] Tom Arnold joins, jokes about age & parenting
• [02:44] On working with your girlfriend: “Has she stabbed you yet?”
• [03:06] Tom’s stabbing story & exes violence riff
• [05:41] Penis stories and male bonding in sports TV
• [06:24] Tom’s single dad porn confession / Bobby’s sauna
• [09:07–10:58] Sobriety stories, childhood trauma, and Bobby’s early addiction
• [11:16–12:30] Tom details confronting his abuser, systemic cover-ups, and survivor advocacy
• [14:03–15:22] On relapse and sobriety milestones
• [15:34] Removing Roseanne tattoo, exes and boundaries
• [17:49] The reality of four ex-wives
• [19:11] Parenting exhaustion stories
• [21:02] Patience and personal change via fatherhood
• [27:57] Late-in-life parenting, gratitude, and perspective
• [29:53–33:22] IVF journey, Shaq sperm donor jokes, birth of his kids
• [34:04–35:39] TV medium and his daughter’s wild origin story
• [36:27–38:09] The wild ride with Roseanne, media chaos, and fame
• [41:35–42:59] International drama and Roseanne’s wild Sardinia saga

Tone & Style

As always, the Bonfire crew is unfiltered, loud, and quick with offhanded jokes—even during confessional, serious moments. Tom Arnold matches their no-holds-barred storytelling, moving seamlessly from tragic to hilarious, making this an episode as wild as the stories it contains.

For More

Catch Tom Arnold on his "My Crazy Ex-Wife" tour throughout October in New York and New Jersey, and listen to "The Bonfire" live Mondays–Thursdays on SiriusXM Faction Talk 103.