Dance Battle

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Dance Battle"
The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly
Release Date: February 27, 2025

In the "Dance Battle" episode of The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly, hosted by SiriusXM, listeners are treated to a lively and humorous exploration of personal anecdotes, emotional discussions, and an impromptu dance-off challenge. Throughout the episode, Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly delve into topics ranging from their experiences with drugs and therapy to their less-than-stellar dance histories, all while maintaining their signature candid and comedic rapport.

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1. Setting the Stage: Song Selection and Show Dynamics

Timestamp: [01:08 – 02:56]

The episode kicks off with Big Jay and Robert discussing the importance of music in launching their show. They highlight the need for the right moment to transition from the introductory song into the main content, ensuring listeners are fully engaged before diving into conversation.

• Big Jay: "You gotta let the people enjoy what's happening." ([02:10])
• Robert Kelly: "I'll never doubt it again, my friend." ([02:24])

This segment underscores their commitment to creating an immersive and enjoyable listening experience right from the start.

2. Emotions, Therapy, and Drug Experiences

Timestamp: [02:56 – 08:00]

The conversation shifts to a more personal tone as Big Jay and Robert discuss their handling of emotions and mental health. Big Jay opens up about his use of Lexapro, revealing his struggles with anxiety and the impact of medication on his emotional responses.

• Big Jay: "If DMT didn't work on me, that's gotta mean something." ([06:11])
• Robert Kelly: "Possible you need to go to therapy and you'll enjoy your drugs more." ([06:10])

Their candid exchange provides listeners with an authentic glimpse into their personal lives, blending vulnerability with humor.

3. Dancing at Concerts: Personal Stories and Experiences

Timestamp: [08:00 – 28:00]

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing dancing at live concerts. The hosts reminisce about memorable performances and their own awkward attempts to dance, highlighting the intersection of music, movement, and personal confidence.

• Big Jay: "Justin Timberlake was doing one dance over and over again... He points his finger forward and just does this over and over... It was a wacky night." ([13:23])
• Robert Kelly: "I was dancing so good that I got her attention. And she was like, hey, she... and then walked away and never talked to me again." ([21:18])

These stories are peppered with laughter and self-deprecating humor, making the narrative relatable and entertaining.

4. Proposing the Dance Battle Challenge

Timestamp: [28:00 – 57:00]

Building on their previous discussions, Big Jay and Robert propose a lighthearted dance battle between themselves and their guest, Christine. The idea is met with playful resistance and banter, setting the stage for a comedic showdown.

• Big Jay: "This is the versus Jay versus Christine dance battle." ([35:53])
• Robert Kelly: "We have to take a break. We have one to two rad reads today." ([57:35])

The segment includes attempts to teach each other dance moves, resulting in a series of humorous failures and supportive camaraderie.

5. Dance Demonstrations and Hilarious Attempts

Timestamp: [57:00 – End]

In an entertaining climax, the hosts and guests attempt various dance moves, including EDM shuffle dancing. Their efforts are met with laughter, both self-directed and at each other's expense, exemplifying their dynamic chemistry.

• Robert Kelly: "I'm worried about your face." ([56:43])
• Big Jay: "You threw me off." ([54:12])

These playful interactions culminate in the affirmation of their friendship and mutual support, despite their lack of coordinated dance skills.

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Notable Quotes:

• Big Jay: "I'm not embarrassed, I don't care." ([25:35])
• Robert Kelly: "I have a cocktail of anxiety and stupidity." ([57:52])
• Jacob: "I danced like a little kid in a way." ([30:39])

---

Conclusion:

"Dance Battle" encapsulates the essence of The Bonfire by blending personal storytelling with spontaneous humor. Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly's exploration of their dancing misadventures not only entertains but also fosters a sense of camaraderie and authenticity. The episode serves as a testament to their ability to turn even the most mundane topics into engaging and memorable conversations, making it a standout installment for both loyal listeners and newcomers alike.

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Promotional Segments Skipped:

• Advertisements for Nespresso, High Five Casino, Metro by T-Mobile, Dove Men Plus Care, and Amica Insurance were omitted to focus solely on the episode's content.

Transcript

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[Big J]

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[Robert Kelly]

Okerson and Robert Kelly. You really do know when to start this show. You know what?

[Big J]

Yeah, I've.

[Robert Kelly]

I've. I've had a thing. People don't know that the music starts and Lou waits for you to put those headphones on. And for a long time I was like, what's going on? You know what? You know when to start the show in the song. You really know. I would have started 30 seconds ago.

[Big J]

Could have started six minutes ago and it would have been okay. But you gotta let the people enjoy what's happening.

[Robert Kelly]

You gotta let them build.

[Big J]

Well, once that starts, somebody out there is in a cool situation right now fighting a California fire. Yeah, it's very dark, apocalyptic happening around them.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J]

Maybe they're listening to us in Australia where it's nighttime right now.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Maybe somebody's on the subway about to push somebody on a train.

[Big J]

Maybe someone's gonna push somebody on a train. Absolutely. Maybe someone's listening to us while they're thinking about jumping off of a building.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J]

And this song is too dramatic to just stop in the very beginning. You gotta let them get through the whole mood of it first. And then we pop in, hey, this is bonfire and Bobby and Jay.

[Robert Kelly]

And then we're in.

[Big J]

And then we're in. You know, just like that.

[Robert Kelly]

I'll never doubt it again, my friend. I'll never Doubt it again.

[Big J]

Well, when you pick. And you should pick songs to start the show.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J]

When we come back from the first break, I'll pick the song, you pick the song, and then you know where to start it.

[Robert Kelly]

Great. Perfect.

[Big J]

Cuz you feeling it at that point, you go, this is the song I want to hear for this reason. And when we get to that part, will thump in any song. Any song you want.

[Robert Kelly]

All right.

[Big J]

And you got to know when to thump into it.

[Robert Kelly]

Gotta know when to thump in. That's a thing.

[Big J]

But you couldn't have gotten started the show without getting to, like, the heavy part of the song. Turn it up, Blue. It's coming again. I've never felt the emotions this guy sings about. Damn, dude. That's because you don't leave everything we know and just start over. Let's be badasses.

[Robert Kelly]

You should go to therapy. And then you'll feel these emotions.

[Big J]

What?

[Robert Kelly]

What?

[Big J]

I've been going to therapy to feel this.

[Robert Kelly]

I feel these emotions every day. No, I feel it now.

[Big J]

You need darkness, dude. In darkness, I have darkness. This is my shower song today. I almost punched myself in the face in the shower, in the dark. So hyped up.

[Robert Kelly]

That's because you couldn't see anything.

[Big J]

I couldn't see myself. I was trying to shadow box, but I'm my own shadow in the dark. Ow. Oh, that's me.

[Christine]

This motherfucker's 12 minutes long.

[Big J]

Yeah, I'm sorry. We won't talk again until it's done.

[Robert Kelly]

Great band.

[Big J]

Tool does rule.

[Robert Kelly]

He's a great. He's just great. Does he sing the same, though? Does he?

[Big J]

I think so. He catches some saying he can't really hit it anymore. And maybe there's some, like, help. I don't know. But, like, his voice sounds. I mean, he talks most of the songs, but there are songs where he has to sing and hit some high screams where I don't know if he can anymore, maybe. But he always sounds great to me.

[Robert Kelly]

He's. It's one of my favorite YouTube videos. Is him singing sober in that onesie.

[Big J]

Yeah, it's like a daytime, right?

[Robert Kelly]

Daytime. But he's. You know, when a lead singer is into it, it's disgusting.

[Big J]

Well, he's always like. That's what I've always been kind of cool about him. Like, the way he dances to the music and stuff is very, like. It's very private, very tribal.

[Robert Kelly]

I feel like he's looking at one person.

[Big J]

Took Jacob to see Tool right before COVID Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Do you like it?

[Jacob]

I loved It.

[Robert Kelly]

He did.

[Big J]

Jacob was.

[Jacob]

Loved it.

[Big J]

It was Jacob's first experience of being recognized a lot too. I was like, yeah, dude. Like fans of ours are at these kind of shows. And Jacob was outside. People were yelling, Jacob. They were all excited for him.

[Robert Kelly]

Were you excited? Did that make you excited?

[Jacob]

I was also. I was also chill because I took a little acid. No, it was a blue pill. What the hell?

[Big J]

Oh yeah. Oxycontin.

[Robert Kelly]

What?

[Christine]

Yeah, a few years ago.

[Jacob]

Bobby, I don't.

[Robert Kelly]

What?

[Jacob]

I don't like the. I don't like the light stuff.

[Big J]

We were gonna. We tried to get. We wanted to get him take Molly with us, but he wouldn't, so he took, you know, painkillers instead.

[Robert Kelly]

You don't want Jacob on Molly.

[Big J]

I would have loved Jacob.

[Robert Kelly]

You don't want his emotions coming out.

[Big J]

Are you kidding? Would have been having a lovable. Having a lovable pet.

[Robert Kelly]

You don't want all those female soccer emotions coming out.

[Big J]

You're wrong about that. I do want that. I wanted to cry for eight hours. I wanted to cry with Jacob that night. I don't know. It doesn't. I said, Krist, Athena will tell you this too. I don't know why these things don't hit me as hard. It turns out not as big a major decision to do them as it is for some people because you're not.

[Robert Kelly]

Connected to your emotions. Possible you need to go to therapy and you'll enjoy your drugs more.

[Big J]

If DMT didn't work on me, that's gotta mean something.

[Paco]

I think.

[Big J]

I think my meds.

[Paco]

I think Lexapro blocks this stuff.

[Big J]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, you take Lexapro?

[Big J]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

What does Lexapro do?

[Paco]

Blocks everything.

[Robert Kelly]

Love.

[Big J]

No. Made me. When I'm hit.

[Robert Kelly]

Christine.

[Big J]

No. When I'm off it, I just get like. I'll get genuine, like panicky, like things that I. I'm far more aware of them now of what they are. I don't get as panicked anymore, but like, I just get that kind of like nervous, like something bad's happening right now. Inexplicable. 2010, it was really, really bad. And that's when I got on Lexapro. And I really haven't had a problem with it since, but I've taken myself off of it and I've gotten like. Forget the emotional. Like I'm having a heart attack. I know that's kind of not what's happening, but I'll still get like glassy vision and stuff.

[Robert Kelly]

And like if you're off it, if.

[Big J]

I guess if I get to Something where my body's, like, getting in the panicky. I guess, for whatever reason, I never took anything.

[Robert Kelly]

I. I mean, I probably should have taken something at some point. What are you shaking your head for, Paco? Go yourself. You're annoying. That's why. That's why I treat you the way I treat you. A bug, everybody. There's nothing to do with me.

[Big J]

That's all.

[Robert Kelly]

You know when people blame you for being an asshole, Bobby, you are a little quick trigger.

[Big J]

Furious. He goes, yeah, you make me furious.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, you douche.

[Big J]

You know, I took that, so that's what it will do. But maybe it's because of that, because I don't not feel the DMT was crazy, because I felt nothing.

[Robert Kelly]

DMT is what it was like.

[Big J]

Nothing. It's still. It's the liquid your brain secretes when you die.

[Robert Kelly]

Why would you. First of all, who'd you get that from?

[Big J]

Lewis?

[Robert Kelly]

What hooker did he get it from? Maybe all these girls he's dating are girls that have been murdered for dmt.

[Big J]

It's a strong psychedelic drug, which may. I think it's. It may have changed Christine forever for the worse.

[Paco]

Yeah, I really had a hard time with it, as they call it. Blasted off.

[Big J]

Yeah, Christine was.

[Robert Kelly]

Is that when she called me?

[Big J]

No, no, that was the residual effects, I believe.

[Robert Kelly]

Dawn woke me up. Christine's still on the phone.

[Big J]

Still talk. I was like, but, yeah, that may have contributed to that pretty heavily, but it did not do anything to me. Nothing. I didn't even get. I didn't even have, like, a little something. And it's only 10 minutes, but it did.

[Robert Kelly]

Wait a minute.

[Big J]

Zero.

[Robert Kelly]

The high only lasts for 10 minutes.

[Paco]

It feels like an eternity.

[Robert Kelly]

Jesus Christ.

[Big J]

But Lewis got me to do it, to try, because what happened was Christine did it. She came out in four minutes, pretty sad, pretty crying and saying she wasn't enjoying what she was seeing at all. And then. And she goes, I don't know. And I feel like it's not gonna end. And then I told her, I go, all right, well, it's only gonna be like. Like six more minutes. It's only been four minutes. And when she. The way she looked at me when I told her it's only been four minutes, she was like, I've lived three lifetimes. So while she's going through her thing, I'm saying over her head to Lewis, I go, I'm not doing this. Like, I'm not doing it.

[Robert Kelly]

So funny, you know, Christine, do it first. And you're like, yeah, I'm good. She's like the guinea pig. Sure, give it her first. We'll see what happens.

[Big J]

Far more experience with drugs, probably Christine. So I was, yeah, but. So I was like, I'm not doing it. And then Christine, when she. Because then like seven minutes later, she was just like, that was crazy. Like, she wasn't like, there's no residual, like you're wobbly. She was just like, oh, I guess that's what DMT is. Like, holy shit. Wow, that was nuts. And then I go, yeah, I don't think I'm gonna do it. And then she knew. She already hated it. She knew she hated it, but she goes like this. She goes, no, no, no, no, you should do it. You should do it. I go, I go, I don't know, I think maybe if it wouldn't be good for me, if that's how you handle it. She goes, no, no, no, you'll be fine. It's fine. It wasn't that bad. And then after I did it and it didn't work, then she was like, that was the greatest nightmare I've ever experienced. Day was night, night was day. I don't know what was happening. And I was so scared. And she sent me right into it.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, but that's what drug addicts do. They go, no, it's good. You should try it. Be in hell with me so I'm not alone. It's not like it's.

[Big J]

But she was already out of hell.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I know, but she needed you to go there too.

[Big J]

She wouldn't experience hell.

[Robert Kelly]

That's pretty much what drug addicts, that's their movie.

[Paco]

Okay, Bobby, sharing drugs is no drug addict.

[Big J]

Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. They're probably like, nah, it sucks. You wouldn't even like it and keep it for yourself.

[Jacob]

Try oxy.

[Robert Kelly]

I did.

[Jacob]

It's the best.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I did it when I was 13.

[Jacob]

All right, but you haven't done it in a while.

[Big J]

It's new. It's better now.

[Robert Kelly]

I used to snow it. I mean, don't I remember? I got oxy. We stole it off this kid's mom and we, we put it on a shingle, crush it up on a shingle like idiots. And then we had to lick the shingle because most of it was just embedded in the shingle.

[Big J]

Classic.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm just licking a shingle as a 13 year old.

[Big J]

Classic.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I used to do a lot of fucking. I love pills.

[Big J]

Back in the day, pills rule.

[Robert Kelly]

I love drinking the most because it was like an all day thing. You could Just get a thing of ice, put it in a barrel, sit by a track, and fucking drink. But popping a pill was great. Snorting a pill is great. We used to snort the pills.

[Big J]

I feel like, officially used barrel for too many things.

[Robert Kelly]

Barrel. It's a fucking barrel.

[Big J]

An actual barrel.

[Robert Kelly]

This time it was an actual. Yeah, like a barrel.

[Big J]

Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

Like a metal barrel. Like, you know, the big metal barrels.

[Big J]

Tub.

[Robert Kelly]

You know, they put oil in tub. That's a barrel. That's not a tub. A tub is. Yeah, that's a barrel.

[Big J]

Oh, that's a drum.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, that's not a drum. If I said drum, you'd be like, good drums. I said barrel. That's more. If I said that's.

[Big J]

That's a barrel, but that's what it was. A steel barrel.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Like by the tracks. We always get, like, one of these steel barrels, and we'd fill it with wood and whatever we found, and we'd light on fire and hang right by the tracks. That's what we used to drink under a bridge by the tracks. Because when the cops came, they couldn't just get to you. They had to come down where you get in and then come up. So we'd always see them and then we could run.

[Jacob]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

We used to hang out on.

[Big J]

But you've never done oxy with Jacob.

[Robert Kelly]

No, I've never done anything with any of you people in the room because I've been sober for 38 years, unfortunately.

[Jacob]

I love taking oxy and then not having enough strength to get off my couch.

[Big J]

Yeah, it's great, right?

[Robert Kelly]

If you did Molly with Jacob, you wake up on a bench, you'd be curled up like a shih Tzu under your stomach.

[Big J]

I love Christine.

[Robert Kelly]

Did not enjoy tits.

[Big J]

Christine. One of her least favorite tools was the one on Molly. She did not like it, but she said it was too much Molly, not enough concert. I was dialed in.

[Robert Kelly]

What does Molly do again? Make you just happy?

[Big J]

Yeah, super happy. You want to call a lot of people and tell them how great they are. You're all consumed by love, but why.

[Robert Kelly]

Wouldn'T you want to do that?

[Big J]

The best thing was Justin Silver, because what I also focused on for many times when he went a row in front of us to be with other muscly guys, and then just. And then just got down to his tank top, and then he just does one dance. He holds his dick and points his finger forward and just does this over and over again for every song, every beat, no matter the tempo, Dick grab, tank top. Fucking just plays it out, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

Surprising. I thought like if he did Molly, he would just become straight. Like he'd go the opposite way.

[Big J]

It's a wacky night. Corinne Fisher thought she was talking to Justin's dog who was passing away. Yeah, she was like. Started crying. She's like, he's talking to me.

[Jacob]

Jay's right. I mean Justin lest you know, he feels the beat.

[Big J]

Well, because he wants you to know.

[Jacob]

Full 360 degree.

[Big J]

I had to put. When we saw Tool. I was on the end when we saw him in Philly. And I shuffled because what it was. I saw this coming a mile away. It was me, Christine Fenoa, Justin. And I was like 10 minutes into this concert when it starts, Fenoy is going to be like annoyed looking at me and going like, is this motherfucker. Is this the whole show? So I was like, justin, actually come over here on the end. I put him on the end. He's in to really give him a wide berth so he could fucking dick grab and fucking throw that finger down.

[Robert Kelly]

He's like that guy at the Stones concert that was dancing the whole fucking concert.

[Paco]

Oh yeah, the aisle.

[Robert Kelly]

He needs the aisle.

[Big J]

Justin.

[Robert Kelly]

He's an aisle fag.

[Paco]

He took up all the space.

[Big J]

Turn it up, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, dancing at a concert, you're either gonna kind of keep it. I keep it. I'm into it. But I am aware I'm. I'm doing what.

[Big J]

What concert do you accept? What concert you dance?

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know.

[Big J]

Billy Joel Acceptable.

[Paco]

Coldplay.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't Billy Joel. I don't really. I mean Billy Joe play.

[Big J]

I say, I would say is acceptable.

[Robert Kelly]

Billy Joel is a sit concert from a lot of it. You know what I mean? I mean, Bon Jovi. I was up the whole time.

[Big J]

I don't know if it's a dance.

[Robert Kelly]

Concert, not a dance.

[Big J]

It's a stand up.

[Robert Kelly]

Tell you what's not a dance concert. The Cure holy. I mean suicide concert.

[Big J]

That was a. That was a hold your elbow with your opposite arm and look at the ground concert.

[Robert Kelly]

It really was I'm cold concert. The whole show.

[Big J]

Yeah, that's. That's how I have to cut myself to feel.

[Robert Kelly]

Christ, do I could. If I could go back in time, I would do that.

[Big J]

Hey, poke that fat girl holding her elbow with a knife. Is she alive? I don't know. She didn't do anything when I did it.

[Robert Kelly]

I've never seen Max sad except there and when we didn't get in the snake pit.

[Big J]

Yeah. Those are two defining moments in his life.

[Paco]

Justin Timberlake Was a super dance.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, I would. I would dance at that.

[Big J]

Sure. All day long. All day long.

[Robert Kelly]

In sync.

[Big J]

Madonna, you could dance.

[Robert Kelly]

Backstreet Boys. Backstreet Boys. Oh, Backstreet. All right. I would dance at that.

[Big J]

Not as a man, you don't.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, as a confident man.

[Big J]

No.

[Robert Kelly]

Game off.

[Big J]

You could dance as a man a little bit. You could dance as a man a little bit to Justin Timberlake for sure. You can't dance to a man to not one boy band song. Can you dance like a man to not one.

[Robert Kelly]

Are you crazy?

[Big J]

I'm not crazy. No, no. I'm not saying. Okay, what you're doing is uncomfortable for everybody. Is that what you would do? I'd get. I'd get an usher to check on you.

[Robert Kelly]

You put me in the aisle.

[Big J]

I'd be. I'd be like, usher? I think something's happening to the man next to me.

[Robert Kelly]

Right here. Right here. This is my. I'm. I'm just feeling this.

[Big J]

By the way, you're being terrible to your neighbors. What you're saying right now, everything is everything. Are you out of your mind? Everything's been jetting out. Mostly you're commercials.

[Robert Kelly]

Hopefully they'll be jetting that way too. When they go that way, I go this way.

[Big J]

So now you're in a choreographed routine with everybody in the audience. I don't know where lou got the 12 inch remix. Over here. Bobby said this song was going to start 11 times.

[Jacob]

Bobby, you are taking a wide burst.

[Robert Kelly]

Now.

[Big J]

You've changed. You've changed tempos in your own dance. Feel it. Bobby's point up to the sky. He's feeling the soul. The soul of the boy is creeping into him. The soul of the boy. Bobby, you'd be physically removed because of what the problem that you've caused for the aisle you're in.

[Robert Kelly]

And then I bring it all in. I'd only be. I'd only be wide at the beginning.

[Big J]

Dude, you're gonna get jumped by a bunch of 45 year old wet fat women, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

NSync, come on.

[Big J]

No.

[Robert Kelly]

Kelly Clarkson. I'd lose my.

[Big J]

You're gonna dance to. Since you've been gone. You're gonna dance, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

Since you've been gone. But the Christmas song, I mean, come on.

[Big J]

But I'm talking about dancing. I. Hand in pocket if you're calling that kind of dancing. I do that at a lot of concerts. Really? Cutting loose and dancing. I can't think of a concert.

[Paco]

I don't think you've ever danced. Have you ever cut loose and danced ever in your life.

[Robert Kelly]

Hang on. We're not done laughing.

[Big J]

Of course I have.

[Robert Kelly]

You've never cut loose?

[Big J]

No. No. The question she should have asked was, jay, have I ever seen you cut loose dancing?

[Robert Kelly]

When have you cut loose dancing?

[Big J]

Almost 100% of my hotel rooms before I get dressed.

[Paco]

We're talking about, like, a club or a concert or in public.

[Robert Kelly]

I know in public it's hard to dance. I get insecure with it, too.

[Big J]

But I got amazing rhythm.

[Robert Kelly]

I've done it.

[Paco]

I've seen your isolated dancing buddy in your room.

[Robert Kelly]

Alone is fine.

[Big J]

But what I'm doing in that. What I'm doing in that room would get me pussy in a club.

[Robert Kelly]

The gayest time. The gayest time I ever did was in Amsterdam with Patrice. We went to a black club, a dance club. And I remember he started. He started dancing, so I started dancing with him. So it was just me dancing with each other, me and Patrice just grooving it. And I was like, fuck it, let's go. And then we. I went to another club in Amsterdam, too, and it was a dance club with. Do you remember T. Rex?

[Big J]

Why do you dancing with men so much?

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know, dude.

[Big J]

T. Rex from DC I used to.

[Robert Kelly]

Dance at the AA dances, too. When I used to. When I first got sober. We go to the AA dances. I would dance my ass off.

[Big J]

I was terrified when I was young in school dances. So I only slow danced in school dances. Also. This was a time when I was growing up. It was a time where dancing was as valuable in school as being tough.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J]

As far as being popular and getting, like, chicks. Yeah. Grease dancing was as popular as being tough. Like, you'd get the same kind of love. So I really wasn't pulling it out because there was guys doing the fucking splits and real, like, jump over their legs, like kid and play stuff that I was like, there's no way I'm pulling that off at all. So I tucked my down away. All these years, I tucked it away and now. But I'm telling you, in hotel rooms, I explode. And I'm not saying. I'm not saying it could win a contest. I'm telling you, it's good. If I went on Dancing with the Stars, they'd be like, okay, all right.

[Robert Kelly]

Jay, buddy, let me tell you, we should go dancing one night.

[Big J]

No.

[Robert Kelly]

Why we. All we have to do is take that cork out of the bottle and let those little effervescence pop out.

[Big J]

Because the things I want to do that I'm doing in A hotel. I want you to understand.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J]

Take up a little bit of space.

[Robert Kelly]

So what, we can clear that floor like John Travolta Delta.

[Jacob]

We go to a disco, buddy.

[Robert Kelly]

We go to it.

[Big J]

Guys, I love what you're saying right now.

[Robert Kelly]

Let's go dancing, man. Let's dance, buddy. I have to tell you what. I used to go to the seventh grade dance. I got some moves they used to have at St. Mary's the seventh grade dance. And I used to go and sneak in, and Carol. Carol Coughlin was her name. Blonde. I was in love with her. Love with her. And she was there. And I had cigarettes, smoking cigarettes. And I. I was dancing. I was, you know, trying to get her attention, and I was dancing so good that I got her attention. And she was like, hey, she. I think she said good moves or something like that. And she.

[Big J]

Bobby.

[Robert Kelly]

She complimented me somehow. She complimented me. Had. Somehow. Because she talked to me. She never talked to me, right? And because we got into a thing years before, we did a show in Towel in a Bush, and she got me to show my bum, and she didn't show hers. And then they left, and I got mad.

[Big J]

We're going to show each other your asses.

[Robert Kelly]

We do. We're kids. We're little kids. We didn't, you know, we didn't have pubes. I don't even know, right?

[Big J]

Still. Hey, want to compare butts?

[Robert Kelly]

So she actually talked to me. I was so excited. And I had a pack of cigarettes. I took a cigarette. She goes, can I get a cigarette? And I. I'll. This is the worst thing I've ever done. I went like this. I went, sure. And I took a cigarette out of my pack and I went, yeah. And I wormed it to her. I wormed it to her and she went, thanks. And then just walked away and never talked to me again.

[Big J]

That's brutal.

[Robert Kelly]

Sometimes dance can go. You can go too far. You have to know the limits.

[Big J]

No, I told you. I danced with my high school crush. And she was very purposefully doing a fucking rhythm that was a little too complex for the nerve level I had right there. I wish I could go back in time. It's the easiest thing in the world to do with the natural given rhythm that I have. I was frozen in the moment.

[Robert Kelly]

But we don't know that, dude. What song could you dance to right now?

[Paco]

Now.

[Big J]

So many.

[Robert Kelly]

Name one.

[Big J]

I don't know.

[Paco]

Do Electric Feeling. Gmt.

[Big J]

I'm not doing anything.

[Robert Kelly]

Why? Just show us. I just showed you. First of all, I.

[Big J]

What you did. Was absolutely silly.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, and it was dance.

[Big J]

Okay, you want me to sit here and flat my arms around like a bird trying to get oil off of it?

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, first of all, my dance.

[Big J]

I'm sorry I assaulted you. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insult you. I'm. I'm lashing out because I don't want to dance.

[Paco]

Jay, you know you want to dance to the song.

[Robert Kelly]

Come on.

[Big J]

I don't.

[Paco]

Yeah, you do.

[Big J]

This isn't what would get me to move.

[Robert Kelly]

What would get you to move?

[Big J]

Nothing.

[Robert Kelly]

What would get you to move?

[Big J]

Just.

[Robert Kelly]

I just want to hear the song. You don't have to do it. What song would get you to move?

[Paco]

I know you like to move your body.

[Big J]

She does know I like to move my body.

[Jacob]

What do you listen to in your hotel room?

[Big J]

Depends on the day.

[Jacob]

Okay. You're in your hotel room right now.

[Paco]

She's so shy.

[Big J]

You mean he's so shy.

[Paco]

Is that right? He's so shy.

[Big J]

Heathrow shy is pretty great by Pointer Sisters, but that's dancing a little sillier. Yeah, still good. Still full of rhythm, but.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, come on.

[Big J]

But this isn't what I mean, though. Yeah, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

That's. That. That's this. That's a little body.

[Big J]

I'm probably throwing a little more hip into it when I do it. Maybe some more leg even, too.

[Robert Kelly]

What you do a little spin, but.

[Big J]

I'm in the shower.

[Robert Kelly]

What size shower do you have that you can dance around?

[Big J]

Hotel showers. No, my hotel, too. In my. In my house shower, I. The dance I do the most is a Scott Weiland. Hands bend at the wrist, behind the back, and maybe like a little, like a very snakey kind of thing.

[Robert Kelly]

Christine. If I buy a hidden camera that he can't see, I'll kill you both.

[Big J]

Don't film me in my most vulnerable.

[Robert Kelly]

Listen to me, Christine. Ah.

[Paco]

I threatened him that one day I'm just gonna come in, like, over the shower curtain and take pictures.

[Robert Kelly]

That's why he does it in the dark, so we can't get.

[Big J]

Did we lose my song?

[Robert Kelly]

What is. What is the song like? All right. You know the opening of Deadpool 3 for sure with Wolverine when you. The opening. What's that? That's back. Bye Bye bye. Is that in sync? Right? All right, that song. I can't not feel that song. I can't. When he did that dance, I can't not kind of do the Bye Bye. I mean, it's a fucking. You can't. How do you not dance to that? Song.

[Big J]

Well, I'm not a female child.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, but that's a good point.

[Big J]

They. Bye bye bye. It's not happening for my. The song. It's more in the line of, like, give me the night. George Benson. Get lucky Daft Punk with Pharrell. That's a good one.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, how about little Bruno Mars? What's that crazy Uptown Funko?

[Big J]

Nope.

[Robert Kelly]

No. Yeah. So all your dance moves are all in turn?

[Big J]

No, it's in here. No, but I'm not living out loud like the fucking. My room at a Marriott courtyard somewhere.

[Robert Kelly]

But what, like, what is a move that like.

[Big J]

I don't know, man.

[Robert Kelly]

Can you do me a favor and just stand up?

[Big J]

Nope.

[Robert Kelly]

Stand up. Just feel the ground.

[Paco]

How embarrassed he is.

[Robert Kelly]

Why? Why?

[Big J]

I'm not embarrassed. I don't care.

[Robert Kelly]

You're in a safe spot, dude.

[Paco]

Jay, we know you have magnificent rhythm.

[Robert Kelly]

I just want to see.

[Big J]

Shut the fuck up. Christine can't wait to fucking hang me out to dry. Christine's trying to set me up because I said this, and I mean this. From the guts. I could definitely dance better than Christine.

[Robert Kelly]

No fucking way.

[Big J]

From soup to nuts. Whole thing, dude. Better than her.

[Robert Kelly]

Is that true?

[Paco]

There's only one way to figure this out.

[Robert Kelly]

That's a challenge. That's a fucking challenge.

[Paco]

No, I was gonna say we have to learn the same routine.

[Big J]

Christine. Even if we do a routine, Christine is a freeze up performer. Me watching her particularly. She will freeze up. We first started dating, she was in a musical, like a dancing and singing musical. And I was. I was like, when's the thing I want to come? And she just kept pushing it off. He's like, this isn't a good one to come to. Until it was over, she didn't want me to see her sing and dance because she thought I would have made fun of her. I would have.

[Robert Kelly]

I bet when Christine dances, she's a. She's a lip biter. Maybe she's a snapper.

[Big J]

I don't know. You know why? Because Christine doesn't dance in front of me either.

[Robert Kelly]

Never. You don't dance in front of me.

[Paco]

It's a Coldplay. You didn't dance. It was a perfect dance.

[Big J]

Okay, this is not dancing, first of all, Coldplay. She just put her arms up in the air and cheered. What she did dance at, we all remember. Some of those who work forces are the same that burn crosses. When she went to Rage against the.

[Paco]

Machine, he's afraid somebody's gonna do to him what he's doing to me. So he won't dance.

[Robert Kelly]

I just want to say something. When you do that, the forces to the crosses. I get sick in my chest. It makes me sick in my chest right here, right below whatever this thing is right here. That bone where you're supposed to like, bring people back to life. It makes me sick right there.

[Big J]

Well, the bummer was I made fun of her first night for it. So when we went to go see him again, she didn't do it.

[Robert Kelly]

God damn it.

[Big J]

I had to do it.

[Robert Kelly]

Dawn dances all the time. And she came out the other day. It kind of got me going. She came out in just panties and a T shirt. And she started dancing through the kitchen right early in the morning with her hair down because she looks like a lion now. It's so fucking big and fluffy. And she came out and just started dancing with a little tiny shovel butt. A little Asian boy ass. Fuck it. Fuck it. Loved it.

[Big J]

No, I got killer moves for sure. Can't do that split though.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, when I go to a wedding, I do. Something inside of me shuts down. Like I feel bad cuz Don want. I know Don wants to dance, but in front of family and friends, I can't dance.

[Big J]

Me either. And definitely listen, listen. You could listen.

[Robert Kelly]

What? What?

[Jacob]

I'll dance anywhere.

[Paco]

I have videos. Hang on.

[Big J]

Oh, yeah, Jacob. But the one, he takes it down.

[Robert Kelly]

Like Joe List dance too much. He get his wedding was. It was like, dude, you started dancing.

[Big J]

And I can only assume he looks ridiculous.

[Robert Kelly]

He looks. Well, you weren't invited.

[Big J]

No.

[Robert Kelly]

Really?

[Big J]

I don't think so. No, No.

[Robert Kelly]

I thought you were. Okay. Yeah.

[Big J]

Hey.

[Robert Kelly]

Him and his family danced the whole wedding to where they were sweating. That was like wild to me.

[Big J]

That's a lot also, when you're not very good dancers. Show it when you got it. Now I got it. I ain't showing it. But I will say at a wedding, the that's dancing is like that I will do. And people seen that plenty. The. The simple like the bopping, two step fucking. Not this. But at a wedding. I'm not at a black wedding at this one, but you know, a basic little two step bop. Yeah, for sure. I'm talking about dancing like what I don't understand.

[Robert Kelly]

Explain it to me or show me a deuce, like a little bit.

[Big J]

No, Paco. Paco used to be a dancer. Of course.

[Robert Kelly]

He's a Filipino boy. Of course that they're made to do that.

[Big J]

Paco can do all that. Like go up on his hand and grab his legs above his head.

[Robert Kelly]

They're made to do that and sing like every white rock band.

[Big J]

So that's the reason now I realized I'm not doing it because Paco will judge me and he can dance. I'm not gonna be judged by. I'm not gonna be judged by you assholes. Maybe when me and Paco get alone, two dancers, I'll. God, you're not Jay say that this week. And then next week, Paco comes in. You see that I'm throwing him back, flips off with my foot. He does a thing where he jumps, does the backflip, and then, oh, you.

[Robert Kelly]

Know you're not gonna do that to him.

[Big J]

And then I'm gonna do all his assistant stuff. Like he's gonna land in a split, and I'm gonna go grab his hoodie and act like I'm pulling him up when he comes up.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, you're the guy. Cheerleader.

[Big J]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna toss. I'm gonna toss Paco around. I'm gonna grab a lot. I'm a lot of hip touching.

[Robert Kelly]

What is this? Is this Jacob?

[Paco]

Jacob? Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Where is this at?

[Jacob]

Maral's wedding, My office.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, my God.

[Big J]

Make a little love.

[Jacob]

By the way, my moves are even better now. I do the motorcycle still, but I've evolved.

[Paco]

Jacob looks like.

[Jacob]

That's right.

[Robert Kelly]

Jacob dances like a little kid in a way.

[Jacob]

It's not true.

[Robert Kelly]

It's like, let him go. Let him go.

[Jacob]

This is why.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at, look at, look at little Jacob go.

[Jacob]

This is why Jay won't dance in the room.

[Big J]

It is true.

[Jacob]

This is the reason I was attacked immediately for my moves.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, listen, your moves are basic. I'm going to say. No, they're not, dude.

[Jacob]

You guarantee I can better than you, Bob?

[Robert Kelly]

100%. Did you just see what I freestyled?

[Big J]

Yeah, we all saw it.

[Robert Kelly]

I felt that from my core, dude.

[Big J]

I bet $7,000 on Jacob.

[Robert Kelly]

7,000.

[Big J]

$7,000. Seven large on Jacob.

[Jacob]

Lewis and I danced at for the Vegas show.

[Robert Kelly]

That's unfair.

[Jacob]

What?

[Robert Kelly]

You have Lewis's.

[Big J]

Oh, he was carrying him.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, he was carrying you.

[Jacob]

We danced in unison.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, Lewis was throwing you jive, making you get some energy, man.

[Jacob]

I don't think so.

[Robert Kelly]

You're absorbing Lewis's soul.

[Big J]

He put his soul into you. Seven large on Jacob takes the dance battle.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I'll bet that seven large on Christine beating you.

[Big J]

There's not a chance.

[Robert Kelly]

100.

[Big J]

It's not a fucking chance.

[Robert Kelly]

Christine, you get that seven.

[Big J]

Listen, I'm gonna win from default. She's gonna quit. She's not gonna do it.

[Robert Kelly]

Is that true, Christine?

[Paco]

A freestyle dance off? Yeah. No, I won't do it.

[Robert Kelly]

All right. You get to wear whatever you want when you dance.

[Paco]

No.

[Robert Kelly]

No. Okay.

[Big J]

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[Robert Kelly]

We really do have a lot of zones.

[Big J]

We have to cover your stank zones.

[Robert Kelly]

Stank zones.

[Big J]

Missing that coverage keeps you from smelling and feeling your best. Keep every zone covered with the ultimate odor defense player, Dove Men plus Care Whole Body Dio which keeps you smelling fresh and feeling confident no matter what your date brings.

[Robert Kelly]

I love a whole body Tackle Whole.

[Big J]

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[Nespresso Advertiser]

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[Robert Kelly]

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[Big J]

I believe it's el burro, not jackass.

[Robert Kelly]

El burro.

[Big J]

You're being a real El burro.

[Robert Kelly]

Gracias, Jay Omegle. Let's get more of you talking in a new language. This year, Babel is gifting our listeners. This is crazy. 60% off [e-mail] bonfire get up to. I'll say it again. 60% off babel.com bonfire spelled B-A B-B-E-L.com bonfire babel.com bonfire rules and restrictions apply.

[Big J]

A choreographed dance routine. She's saying she. You will do that all of a sudden that you'll perform in front of people.

[Paco]

Do you want to take ballroom?

[Big J]

No. It's a battle. It's not us working in unison, but two hearts becoming one. Some beautiful, romantic. Yeah, this is a versus Jay versus Christine dance battle.

[Robert Kelly]

You're not at a Jewish camp in the summer.

[Paco]

No, we'll learn a routine together, and then people can judge who they believed more ridiculous.

[Robert Kelly]

No, no.

[Big J]

You're getting served or I ain't coming.

[Robert Kelly]

I tell you this, man, this is gonna be great too, because you're moving into a house and you're, You're. You say you're dancing in your bathroom, which is a tub. You're gonna go into a house with a like, no tub, right?

[Big J]

Well, there's a tub, but it's unattached to the shower.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes, but you have a.

[Big J]

Do you have a shower with full shower stalls?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, shower salt. No tub.

[Big J]

No tub.

[Robert Kelly]

No tub.

[Big J]

Oh, real dance room there, for sure.

[Robert Kelly]

Listen, my shower dude, me and you both could dance.

[Big J]

I'm concerned about you.

[Robert Kelly]

Understand what I'm saying? I made that shower for two dance to dance.

[Big J]

Yeah. And by the way, dancing on tiles is pretty great.

[Robert Kelly]

It's great.

[Big J]

It's pretty great dancing on tiles.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude. We should dance.

[Big J]

Paco, as a fellow dancer, what's your favorite. What's your favorite floor to dance on?

[Amica Insurance Advertiser]

I would say linoleum.

[Big J]

Linoleum. So I was going to say too.

[Amica Insurance Advertiser]

Cardboard is sick.

[Big J]

Cardboard does work pretty good as far as Poplar.

[Robert Kelly]

That's a different type of dance, though. That's break dancing.

[Big J]

Break dancing?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. We're talking dance.

[Big J]

Well, I like to walk in memory lane. Do you remember the time we tried to get DJ Lou to simply dance with his feet only shuffle dancing? And he panicked at the first count? He kicked one foot out and quit immediately. It's the fastest, funniest video I've ever seen in my life. Do we have that? Christine, buddy.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't. We gave him one line and a song for Christmas and he fucking failed.

[Big J]

I forgot how hard you whiffed that. Yeah, I mean, you're the only one who had a cue. You had a cue.

[Christine]

It was such a.

[Robert Kelly]

Such a long wait.

[Christine]

And I. I bugged out.

[Robert Kelly]

In both cases.

[Christine]

I had a little panic attack. Bobby, you up the song, too.

[Robert Kelly]

I did up the song because of you.

[Christine]

Because I threw you off.

[Robert Kelly]

You threw me off.

[Christine]

All right. That's. You're a selfish performer.

[Big J]

Guys, don't worry. I brought it up. I brought it all back with. With putting Christine's face in the glass. It unified the room.

[Robert Kelly]

It really did. Thank God you did that.

[Big J]

Much like me beating her in a dance battle would really unify the room. Christine, we could do this dance battle on the Gaza border and probably bring that. That whole thing that would end.

[Paco]

Paco, what do I have to Google to find videos of you dancing?

[Amica Insurance Advertiser]

Of me?

[Paco]

Yeah.

[Big J]

A Paco. Oh, there's some videos.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. What was your dance name?

[Amica Insurance Advertiser]

Yab. Oh, sorry. Yabe Yellow.

[Robert Kelly]

Yaba Yellow.

[Big J]

I knew it. Chinky Japs.

[Robert Kelly]

Why Yellow? I'm kidding. I.

[Big J]

Call him Volcano. Something Hawaiian.

[Robert Kelly]

What would your dance name be?

[Big J]

Big J.

[Robert Kelly]

Come on.

[Big J]

It's gonna be something cool. Big Jizzy.

[Robert Kelly]

He's got Yabe Yellow.

[Big J]

Big Jizzy.

[Robert Kelly]

Big Jizzy's good.

[Big J]

Yeah. Yahweh. Just God. Because you take the name of God and offend some people. I'll be Yahweh.

[Robert Kelly]

I'll be. I want to be Stinger K. Wow. You like that?

[Big J]

I like it. But you said it. You were asking us all the question. Because you've had this in your head for a while. Cause you just blurted out. You didn't even wait for us to go. Do you have one? Bobby, you would do and you didn't even do a thought. You go. What would your dance name be? Mine's would be Stinger. K.

[Robert Kelly]

I've had it since sixth grade.

[Big J]

Christine, taking advantage of having an Asian in house. Hey, Paco, while you're here, just fix this computer for me. Can you defragment this? Hey, you have a cousin somewhere overseas that could probably handle this.

[Robert Kelly]

Is this him?

[Big J]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow. I mean, this is. This is break dancing.

[Big J]

O Paco, that's not me right now.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, that's not him, you racist. That's just another Asian.

[Big J]

Okay, this is you then. This is you, Paco. But how are you dancing and everybody watching?

[Robert Kelly]

Wow. Oh, this explains your outfits.

[Big J]

Yeah, Paco, those jeans stretchy because.

[Robert Kelly]

Did you get those jeans off K. Simon?

[Paco]

What the.

[Big J]

Look at him go, huh?

[Robert Kelly]

He's pretty good. Dude, I gotta admit, whatever that thing was.

[Big J]

Ooh, drunken monkey. Oh, oh, cartwheel. Oh, that thing. Oh, elbow sit. Elbow sit again.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J]

Oh, back, back thing. Snap it. Pop, Push underneath. There he goes. Dick rub. What? Capri pants. Gay thing. Point of the guy.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, that. That is. That is the gayest cluster of men I've ever seen.

[Big J]

I'm out of breath watching him. I mean, I'm out of breath.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, that's in some high school gym. Yo, we rented the gym out tonight.

[Big J]

It was a little past high school.

[Amica Insurance Advertiser]

Community center.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, yeah, Community cell the Philippines, which.

[Big J]

Is a Filipino community center.

[Robert Kelly]

School, the church and the police station.

[Big J]

The parents would make some sort of a seaweed soup while the kids would all break dance in the other room.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, come get your spam.

[Big J]

Oh, time for seaweed soup.

[Robert Kelly]

That's like even too.

[Christine]

They try to save the community center with their dance.

[Big J]

God damn right, dude. Oh, now listen, I think we can get even Christine out of her shell to dance publicly if we could save a community center. Is there a dying community center in New York? Christine, see that? We could help out here. Paco will lead the charge. Just when we think that they hate us, we'll have Paco come headline.

[Robert Kelly]

We wouldn't save it. They'd actually rip it down faster.

[Big J]

No, I'm telling you, we could raise tens of thousands of dollars if we get DJ Lou doing a worm. You get DJ Lou doing a worm across the stage for sure. We will raise a lot of money.

[Christine]

I promise I won't bug out and panic.

[Big J]

Panic? Well, panic all you want. Just do it while you're worming. Nothing. You gotta remember there, it'll be me and Bobby yelling the word worm at you until you do it. Worm Lou Worm.

[Robert Kelly]

The video of him failing on the Christmas show is the greatest ever.

[Big J]

Did you find the other thing, Christine? You find him at the shuffle dance.

[Robert Kelly]

What was your line? But in the show, by the way.

[Christine]

I play the sound effects.

[Big J]

Yeah, that's it. I played the same. And he had a. And the song goes ting. Dan. It was. It was the only line that had a cue ready to go. And. And Lou just. And I just looked over and he was like this, staring straight, upper and bottom teeth exposed.

[Christine]

I heard the ting. I knew it was time to sing, but. But nothing was happening.

[Jacob]

I knew it was.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Did the rehearsal.

[Robert Kelly]

Rehearsal.

[Jacob]

He wasn't getting it at the right.

[Christine]

I never once got it. I still didn't get it.

[Robert Kelly]

You got it. You got Emily, blunt mouth.

[Jacob]

Jay was patient. He wasn't getting it.

[Christine]

Everyone else had to follow somebody. I had to sit in silence and instrumental to that ting.

[Big J]

You waited for a ting.

[Christine]

It hypnotized me when it hit.

[Big J]

But then there was a ting. And you just sat there and we.

[Robert Kelly]

All looked at you and we were like, yeah, we knew it was gonna make it.

[Big J]

Seven heads looked left.

[Robert Kelly]

I was still looking at you when I missed my line.

[Christine]

Not one of you pointed at me.

[Big J]

No, I looked you and started singing the line with you. I did. I stage mommed you.

[Christine]

I did kind of get one word, Lou.

[Big J]

Doesn't matter. You make all up for it when we save the community center because of your worm. Individual. Your worm. Yeah. And we get to mean. We get to choreograph dance numbers. Christine, I'll ballroom dance with you to save the community center. But we break off from that ballroom dance at the end and it's verses.

[Robert Kelly]

And then I. I'll battle Jacob in freestyle.

[Big J]

You battle Jacob and freestyle.

[Robert Kelly]

Freestyle, sure. Freestyle.

[Jacob]

That's all I do.

[Big J]

Oh, my God, Bobby. He's making me so confident in the 7k I put down on him.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude, you don't know who I am, do you?

[Jacob]

No, you don't know who I am.

[Robert Kelly]

Jay knows who I am.

[Big J]

Stinger K. Stinger K. I'm not gonna with you. I'm not gonna lie to you, Christine. I'm betting on you, but I'm not gonna lie to you. You are with Stinger K. Google Stinger.

[Robert Kelly]

K. See what comes up. What if I was. What if I was a star in the Philippines?

[Big J]

Oh, so great. Dude, you're like, yeah, looking for Sugarman. Sugar. Searching for Sugarman. He's a dance star in Norway. The Kia Stinger. That's the thing you're talking about.

[Robert Kelly]

That's what I drive up in.

[Big J]

Kia Stinger. Stinger K's and a Case Stinger.

[Jacob]

I will says that you both said that you were confident slow dancers in total in school. Well, that was the one thing that I danced. Slow danced once with a girl in seventh grade and popped a full boner. It was the worst moment. It was so embarrassing.

[Big J]

No, I. I can say seventh grade.

[Robert Kelly]

Or seven months ago.

[Jacob]

Seventh grade.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay.

[Big J]

Yeah, in school I could slow dance well. But the it used to just be side to side thing for the longest. And then fucking Janessa Faragelli, dude, she threw fucking a one two, one one at me and it just fucked my night up. I was focused too much. I didn't say a word to her. I was staring at the side of her head while she talked to her friends. It was. I was not catching that one one.

[Robert Kelly]

What the fuck?

[Big J]

I wasn't catching the one one. I was one two. I'm like, what if it's every other and then it's this side this time and I'm overthinking it. And then it fucked up. Then I took a professional picture with another guy's girlfriend. Told people at my dad's house it was my girl girlfriend.

[Robert Kelly]

We all got to do what we got to do. We're all going to do what we got to do, kid.

[Big J]

Hey, man.

[Robert Kelly]

Is what it is. Yeah, man.

[Big J]

I'll tell the whole world that story and will not. Damn. I mean, it's my. Listen, we talk about this, Bobby.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J]

It's my dream for me, you and three other black guys to get on stage in white suits and do the new edition. If it isn't Love Dance from the Apollo. Yeah, it seems doable. It seems possible. I know with my gift of rhythm, I can handle it. I would worry about my partners being in concert with me.

[Robert Kelly]

You don't listen to me. I know you just saw my moves, but I want you to understand, bro, that was freestyle.

[Big J]

Yeah, yeah. No, I know. You get Stinger K in the studio for sure. No, you're gonna nail it.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, dude. Stinger K. I don't think Christine.

[Big J]

I don't know if Christine can nail her. I'm not saying she can't nail it. She does not perform.

[Robert Kelly]

I just think Christine has it in her, but she won't let it out.

[Big J]

Of her for sure.

[Robert Kelly]

I think she has it in her.

[Big J]

I think she's in it too. I just think she has it in her less than I do. I think I'm a better dancer.

[Robert Kelly]

I think she has it in it more than you. And that's why she's afraid of releasing it, because she might, in her late 30s, decide to have a career of dance and follow that passion. And she's afraid of that tsunami of. Of just emotion and creativity to come out of her. She's holding it back.

[Big J]

Christina, I would support you if you quit everything to go pursue dance. I'll support you anyway.

[Robert Kelly]

She's coming home every day, sweating with a bandana around her forehead all day.

[Paco]

I can finally pursue my lifelong dream of being a professional dancer.

[Big J]

Yeah. No, this is the right time now. Your bones are set now. No, it's good. Your bones are fully grown. Your soft spots grown over. You're ready to rock, girl.

[Robert Kelly]

Ooh, yeah.

[Big J]

Why does it hurt so bad? Make me feel so sad. I don't know what they're doing there.

[Robert Kelly]

You see the kids of the block are back. Back on tour and they're doing all their dance moves again. And it's pretty funny just to see Jordan Knight out of breath with his little belly popping out of his skinny jeans.

[Big J]

My boy.

[Robert Kelly]

I follow him on Instagram. It's my greatest thing ever. Just seeing him out of breath with his little. My little 50 pot belly coming out.

[Big J]

My boy. My boy. D Walls told me he's. It's keeping him in good shape, though.

[Robert Kelly]

Who?

[Big J]

Oh, Donnie Walpole. What do you call him? You weren't here. You told me at the end of the thing.

[Robert Kelly]

It makes me angry that, look, I'm friends with Jimbo.

[Big J]

I don't care that we're messaging. It's so what? So what? Me and him message on IG a little bit.

[Robert Kelly]

Me talking to him little. Did you. Does he know about me?

[Big J]

No.

[Robert Kelly]

What?

[Big J]

No.

[Robert Kelly]

When he was on, did you mention me?

[Big J]

Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

And what did you say? How did you bring me up?

[Big J]

You had other stuff you had to do that morning.

[Robert Kelly]

No, no.

[Big J]

And I said, bum me up because my buddies and my partner on the show is a Boston guy too. And I said, he goes, who? I was like, could be Robert Kelly. And he was like.

[Robert Kelly]

And he went, what?

[Big J]

And then he, like, moved on quick from it.

[Robert Kelly]

But did you bring up other things?

[Big J]

Yeah. I was like, oh, if Bobby was here, he would probably know what you're talking about in this very Boston centric story. And you guys would probably bond so much. It's too bad that he had. And I think his quote was, anything else to do this morning.

[Robert Kelly]

Where was I?

[Jacob]

You were up in the mountains that we.

[Big J]

And everyone saw Lance Bass cross town.

[Robert Kelly]

No, where was I?

[Jacob]

You were Shooting your show, that, that Campy Talk.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What'd you call Campy Talk?

[Big J]

Yeah, the show that we don't. Which we do not speak.

[Robert Kelly]

It's not called Campy Talk.

[Jacob]

Can't be talked about.

[Big J]

Can't be talked about.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, listen, I just got a phone call about it.

[Big J]

Well, whatever Norton saw in those woods.

[Jacob]

Man, it made him.

[Big J]

Made him quit SiriusXM radio.

[Robert Kelly]

Made Yamanika lose around 100.

[Big J]

He could drop to weight. Jim hasn't been the same ever since Bobby Lee's normal. Jim's wife goes, jim, you haven't slept in weeks. Jim, I noticed you haven't been sleeping. You've been sucking my Packer last Jamie Lee Curtis help me with my OOP sack. Yeah, she's Swedish, right? No, same thing though, right? Yeah, the same thing though. Someplace where Phil Collins likes to live, probably.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow.

[Big J]

Yes, Lou had it. Thank you so much. So this is a couple years back. We were going to do a shuffle dance. EDM shuffle dancing. If you could show Lou an example what EDM shuffle dancing is. Or show Bobby, rather. EDM shuffle dancing. It's just all foot motions that we were saying is pretty stupid. You know what it is, right? Paco, you're a fellow dancer. I know who if I'm explaining it to what you what it is.

[Robert Kelly]

I know Paco, I'm Stinger Paco, he.

[Big J]

Gets an ego when I try to tell him about dance stuff. Can you as a fellow dancer explain to him from what EDM shuffle dancing is? It's very simple.

[Amica Insurance Advertiser]

So shuffle dancing is where you aggressively stomp your feet in place, but you are sliding it from front to back so it looks like you're kind of moving fast but in place.

[Big J]

Yeah, so it's.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I do that on. I do that on water.

[Big J]

It's right here. Look, look. It's this dumb shit. Paco, can you do this? Because I'll tell you what. And this is embarrassing. I'm gonna tell you an embarrassing. I don't know why I haven't told this before though. It's pretty funny. If you look in my YouTube history through time, you will see there is. I've trying to find the best tutorial video to do and I have eight names for this. The Happy Feet. Some things call it the shuffle dance. So. But it's the something where you make your feet go and like they go out and into the other side. Was it Charleston? No, I don't think so. No, no, no, that's kid and play. Now this is Christine. Look Up Happy Feet. Dance, please. I want to do this so bad.

[Robert Kelly]

I can do this. No problem, dude. I've done this.

[Big J]

Oh, well, just so you know, we thought so. All of us can do it. And. And then, DJ Lou, we all gave it a little try, and then we said, hey, DJ Lou, would you give us. Give us a little show? Show us what the. What you're working with here.

[Christine]

See if you can pinpoint when the confidence leaves my body.

[Big J]

Yeah, this is great, Christine. Yeah, Go back to.

[Christine]

We even picked out a Pearl Jam.

[Big J]

Version we got from. Is this from the beginning? Okay, here we go. Ready on. Turn the volume up.

[Christine]

It is.

[Robert Kelly]

All right.

[Big J]

I don't know. That's the whole video. He takes one leap forward and he goes, I. I don't know. Quit. He put on sunglasses.

[Robert Kelly]

Wait a minute.

[Big J]

He prepared himself for the whole thing.

[Robert Kelly]

I think I missed it.

[Big J]

You did miss it.

[Robert Kelly]

No. Can you play it again, please?

[Big J]

Yeah, Hang on.

[Robert Kelly]

All right. I. What?

[Big J]

By the way, look how hard we're laughing. When it gets over to me, I'm hysterical.

[Robert Kelly]

What the.

[Big J]

What? Start from the beginning again. If you blink, you'll miss it. It's one of the best videos of all time.

[Robert Kelly]

I've never seen somebody's soul leave their body.

[Big J]

It's a.

[Christine]

It's a great first step, though. Come on.

[Big J]

I mean, God, Christ only knows what that was leading to.

[Robert Kelly]

His hands. Didn't know his feet gave up yet. Did you see that?

[Big J]

His hands. His mind was the first thing to give up.

[Robert Kelly]

His hands was like, oh, we're not doing this.

[Big J]

His mind was the first checkout. His. When he leaned forward, his mind went, I'm not doing any more than this. But his body was already moving that direction.

[Robert Kelly]

And then his feet were like, okay, we're not doing it. Then his hand was like, are we. You sure we're not doing.

[Big J]

This guy's good. I've watched this guy do it a lot, and he's doing what I'm talking about.

[Robert Kelly]

Paco, is that Dusty Slay?

[Big J]

Sort of. He shows you how to do it, and I'm telling you, I haven't even tried because I'm like, I'm gonna fucking fall in a hotel room like a dope. I'll do this in two seconds, okay? By all means, please. He's wearing pants like you, Bobby. God damn it. Christine. Yeah, that's. You're down one pivot. Now you're negative one pivot. You cut it off at my favorite shuffle part.

[Paco]

No, look, there's a search bar for some reason. Cover his feet. I was trying to get rid of that.

[Robert Kelly]

I can't believe she's terrified of the piven. And that's exactly where you want her to be?

[Big J]

Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

Did you hear her? She went, no.

[Big J]

No. Now watch when he does it. Now he's doing something.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes.

[Big J]

Does it look so simple?

[Robert Kelly]

I can do it.

[Big J]

No, you can't.

[Robert Kelly]

I'll do it right now.

[Big J]

You can't, though.

[Robert Kelly]

Out. Over.

[Big J]

Paco, you familiar with this?

[Amica Insurance Advertiser]

Not really, but it seems simple enough, doesn't it?

[Big J]

But he's showing you over and over.

[Robert Kelly]

It's heel up. That's it, dude.

[Big J]

Christine, how fast you think you figure that out? Show me one more time, Bobby.

[Robert Kelly]

Show me one more time.

[Big J]

You're gonna One more time.

[Robert Kelly]

Only don't call me Bobby.

[Big J]

Sorry. Stinger K. Hang on, hang on. You already don't know what he's done.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I do.

[Paco]

He's doing. He's going in and out, but then it switches to one in, one out.

[Big J]

That's not it, Bobby. You're breaking equipment it, Bobby. This is all rental stuff.

[Robert Kelly]

Doing it. Am I doing it?

[Big J]

You're not doing it.

[Robert Kelly]

You sure?

[Big J]

I'm certain.

[Robert Kelly]

Hang on, hang on.

[Big J]

You do that on a dance floor, though.

[Jacob]

He looked like a flacker girl from the 20s when he tried that.

[Big J]

Yeah. No, Bobby's definitely. Bobby's putting on the Ritz. I don't know what's going on over there. That's a whole different thing. Jacob. F I doing it.

[Robert Kelly]

Am I doing it?

[Big J]

Something? How I want to love you. How I want to love you. You made me love you. I didn't want to do it.

[Robert Kelly]

Fella. Go doing it.

[Big J]

And Paco, as two fellow dancers do. You igno. Get out of this, Christine. Go back to that. Do you agree? If you could, if you pull this off anywhere where you're dancing, people are going to be like, all right, I'd.

[Jacob]

Be happy with that. Yeah, a little bit.

[Big J]

Yeah, just a little bit.

[Amica Insurance Advertiser]

I would definitely say if you're more to the white side, you'd be very impressed.

[Big J]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

So what is it? The heels go out. The heels.

[Big J]

I can't explain it. I could watch it a hundred times and not explain it to you.

[Jacob]

Again, he slow motions it, but then he doesn't do what he does in the slow motion.

[Paco]

He doesn't. Because what's happening is he's doing both at the same time, but then when he speeds it up, he's doing one in, one out. One in, one out.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Amica Insurance Advertiser]

Healing toll at the same time, but the opposite feel. So Want his heel and his. Like, if his left heel.

[Big J]

Let me see how fast Paco can make it look pretty good. It's gonna infuriate me.

[Amica Insurance Advertiser]

So if his left heel is moving out, his right foot, toe is moving in at the same time, and then you switch and then you bounce.

[Big J]

That's sucker nailing it.

[Robert Kelly]

That was sick, actually.

[Paco]

That was actually so sick.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, settle down. This is not the Philippines.

[Big J]

Where's the camera?

[Robert Kelly]

Give me the camera.

[Big J]

Paco, I'm filming you. Which one do I grab? Paco.

[Robert Kelly]

Nailed it.

[Big J]

Immediately.

[Christine]

I prefer a humble dancer, but that was great.

[Robert Kelly]

That was nuts.

[Big J]

Show him the move. He's got so fast.

[Amica Insurance Advertiser]

Oh, it's got a. You go fast.

[Robert Kelly]

I got it right here.

[Big J]

Nailed it.

[Paco]

I like queers.

[Jacob]

Look at his face. He looks straining so hard.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm worried about your face.

[Big J]

Bobby.

[Jacob]

Bobby, relax. Your face.

[Big J]

Bobby, calm down.

[Robert Kelly]

You look terrible. Did I do it? Did I do it?

[Big J]

No.

[Jacob]

You made everyone anxious with your terror face, Paco.

[Big J]

Yeah, I was worried. I was like, are you going down? Is he going. Is he losing consciousness?

[Robert Kelly]

I just want to say something. Something. I had the same feeling inside that he had.

[Big J]

You shouldn't have.

[Robert Kelly]

I did.

[Big J]

It looked way different, but you put a lot more effort in. You put a lot more effort in. Damn. Paco got that immediately.

[Robert Kelly]

He's Filipino.

[Big J]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

They have gifts.

[Big J]

Yeah, they do.

[Robert Kelly]

They do. They can sing like anybody. They do awesome karaoke.

[Big J]

You could wheelbarrow your family behind you.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, they know how to.

[Big J]

Paco.

[Robert Kelly]

Wow. Yes.

[Big J]

Just got yourself a pivot, my man.

[Robert Kelly]

You're goddamn right, you're good.

[Big J]

You're goddamn right, you're good. Fuck, that was awesome. I was so proud of him. We have to take a break. We have one to two rad reads today.

[Robert Kelly]

I wish there was a. There's no try, Piven. There's no E for effort. Piven.

[Big J]

I'm gonna give you the loner.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't want the loner. That's Christine.

[Big J]

No, it's several people's.

[Robert Kelly]

It's hers. All right, listen, I'm not negative.

[Paco]

Right.

[Robert Kelly]

You are. You're negative. You're negative. One pivot. I shouldn't be negative now. You are for bringing that up.

[Big J]

Remember how excited I was to watch that shuffle dance? Then you flip to the next video. Remember when I lost my goddamn mind over that? She was trying down one Piven. She's negative. One pivot.

[Robert Kelly]

I want a real pivot. And I don't want the loaner picture.

[Big J]

Piven, state your case.

[Robert Kelly]

Listen, I thought I. I tried Maybe I didn't succeed, but I tried. Rocky.

[Big J]

You know what? The face for the content. The face alone.

[Robert Kelly]

A content piven.

[Big J]

That's a content pivot right there. God damn it. God effing damn it. You got it. Anything to retrieve that pivot for the.

[Robert Kelly]

Guy who throws the pivot. Maybe you should have a pivot taken away for your throws. What the is wrong with you?

[Big J]

Two days. Okay, that's fair. I'm negative. One pivot. That's fair. Because I tell you, it's two days in a row that I've whiffed that throw. And part of being the person who controls the pivins.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big J]

Is being able to send it. I should be able to send this around the cameras to you.

[Robert Kelly]

You should send it to Christine and have it come back her just missing it and then come back to you and catch it and go, no, not yet.

[Big J]

I'll learn that before Christine can beat me in a dance. Off.

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[Big J]

It's your home. The place that's filled with memories. The early days of figuring it out.

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[Big J]

Out out.

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