
The lovely Addis Fouche & Ralph Sutton are putting on a show in NYC this Thursday called "How To Date A Porn Star." Addis is an adult entertainer who dates regular guys. Ralph has dated many adult entertainers and is the owner of The Gas Digital Network. Bobby wants to date Addis and then take her home to snuggle. Jay shows her pictures of when Bob was young and hot. | Ms Fouche accidentally insults Jacob and the room erupts with laughter. For tickets to "How To Date A Porn Star" go to www.standupny.com! *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf
Loading summary
Taco Bell Announcer
Taco Bell is rolling out the new Chicken Bacon Ranch street chalupas. And here's the thing. You literally can't just get one. They come in twos. And thank goodness they do because these toasted cheddar street chalupas filled with slow roasted chicken, crispy bacon and avocado ranch are stacked with bold flavor that keeps you going. Back for more Chicken Bacon Ranch street chalupas only a Taco Bell. Get yours today at participating U.S. taco Bell locations for a limited time only while supplies last.
Thumbtack Announcer
Avoiding your unfinished home projects because you're not sure where to start. Thumbtack knows homes, so you don't have to. Don't know the difference between matte paint finish and satin or what that clunking sound from your dryer is. With Thumbtack, you don't have to be a home pro. You just have to hire one. You can hire top rated pros, see price estimates and read reviews all on the app download today.
Big J. Okerson
And now the bonfire with Big J. Okerson and Robert Kelly.
Addis Fouche
Oh, my headphones.
Big J. Okerson
Oh, wait, man, I was trying to hype this room up.
Robert Kelly
Yo.
Big J. Okerson
No one gave a.
Robert Kelly
It's a little too. It's too much.
Big J. Okerson
It's not too much.
Robert Kelly
It's a little too much.
Big J. Okerson
It's not too much.
Robert Kelly
It's a little too much.
Big J. Okerson
You get freaked out when Ralph comes in and towers over you.
Robert Kelly
Me and Ralph are at an age where this is a little too much. We're a little too much.
Bobby Kelly
I've been at that age for quite some time.
Robert Kelly
Yeah, yeah.
Big J. Okerson
We're. Ralph's a heavy metal guy and he does also feel like it's a lot of crazy noise.
Robert Kelly
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Big J. Okerson
My.
Bobby Kelly
My metal was very different. You go back to my childhood, so it wasn't, you know, Judas Priest now seems like light music compared to what's out now.
Big J. Okerson
Yeah, I mean, it's a little performance.
Bobby Kelly
Twisted Sister was heavy metal, so Judas
Robert Kelly
Priest actually is gay music.
Big J. Okerson
If you listen to. I don't know if you know that, but turned out he was gay.
Bobby Kelly
You know that Twisted Sister just announced that Sebastian Bach's gonna sing for them on this next leg of their tour. What yeah happened today?
Big J. Okerson
What? Yeah. Twisted Sister with Sebastian Bach.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah. Because these bowed out of it.
Big J. Okerson
You think he holds a grudge with me?
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, a hundred percent he holds a grudge with me. We've never spoken again since then.
Big J. Okerson
You think he's pissing me so. What a doof. Yeah, he sucks.
Robert Kelly
Yeah.
Big J. Okerson
Hey, if you see him, let him know he sucks.
Bobby Kelly
I'll make sure.
Big J. Okerson
Hey, let him know Jay said he sucks. You could apologize for yourself.
Robert Kelly
Yeah, you can tell him I like him.
Bobby Kelly
I'll tell him you like him.
Big J. Okerson
Bobby does not like him either.
Robert Kelly
I met him.
Big J. Okerson
It is the bonfire faction talk. SiriusXM103. Big J Okerson, the great Robert Kelly. We have two very fun guests in here. My old work husband, Ralph Sutton, an adult film star. Starlet. Or they stopped saying that in the 70s. Starlet.
Addis Fouche
I like Starlet.
Big J. Okerson
Yeah.
Robert Kelly
They actually murdered one of them back then. They called her Starlet. They changed it after that.
Big J. Okerson
Okay.
Addis Fouche
That's why. Okay, well, I've resurrected the word starlet.
Big J. Okerson
Bring it back.
Robert Kelly
We're gonna have to murder you, though.
Addis Fouche
I'd love to see you try.
Robert Kelly
I would like to.
Big J. Okerson
This is strange.
Addis Fouche
I know.
Big J. Okerson
This is very strange. Hitting. Is this how you date a porn star, Ralph?
Robert Kelly
Yeah. This is rule number one.
Bobby Kelly
It's called nagging.
Robert Kelly
It's good to see you.
Big J. Okerson
I will kill you. You look lovely. I'll kill you.
Addis Fouche
Happens all the time. Hi, everyone. My name is Addis Fouche joining the
Robert Kelly
show again, but this time with less penises in the room.
Addis Fouche
That's true.
Robert Kelly
And smaller. Smaller penises.
Addis Fouche
Right, right, right.
Big J. Okerson
We talked about. I think when we did straight afterwards, Addis came on with three transgender porn stars.
Bobby Kelly
Oh, yes.
Big J. Okerson
Me, Isabella, two others. I don't recall the name right now, but me Isabella, particularly, was on one. And I don't even mean she was, like, on one. Like, shitty with anybody. She was just having her own conversation.
Addis Fouche
Having a good old time. Yes.
Big J. Okerson
Over the show. And, like, we'd be talking to Addis or whatever. He has to tell him about the show. And then she would just start talking to the other girl, just into the microphone, like, can you believe I'm hungry? We should go. Whatever after this. Like, hey.
Robert Kelly
It was the only time I ever saw Jay go, hey, we can't do this. We can't be taught. Jay put his foot down, which he very rarely puts his foot down.
Big J. Okerson
Never do that. I'm so noncomputational.
Addis Fouche
And on top of that, Mia's dick is 10 inches long and, like, real thick.
Big J. Okerson
I know, I know.
Bobby Kelly
Didn't we once have a conversation, like, while the other two porn stars were talking to each other? We were just giving each other the answers, buddy.
Big J. Okerson
I just talked about that because one of the things. So we read it earlier on the show. We read the list you sent Lainey of porn stars that you've either went
Bobby Kelly
on dinner dates with or dated.
Addis Fouche
Oh, my God.
Big J. Okerson
Who she Had a lot of everyone.
Addis Fouche
Oh, wow.
Big J. Okerson
All of them but Victoria Zadroc. And that's one of the people you went. Did you hook up with her?
Bobby Kelly
I made out with her at a penthouse party.
Big J. Okerson
Right. And then she came on. She came on SDR show.
Bobby Kelly
Oh, it was her. That's what I was.
Big J. Okerson
And she was bringing her there to convince. This is what of my. This is one of my. I think I have to stop doing the SDR show episodes. Because she was like, I'm trying to get my daughter into pornography. And I was like, I'm trying to make sure my daughter gets not in pornography. So this is awkward. And. And then they were. Yeah, just different tiers of doofy and dumb. That we were playing a game. Who knows who better me and Ralph or mother daughter. And they were so blank eyed, just like staring at the ceilings that we were able to go. All right, for the next question, Ralph. I gave my answer was D. And Ralph would go, is the answer D? And then the girls would go O. How do you know? Now you know. You see the thing?
Robert Kelly
That's how they talk.
Big J. Okerson
They talk like hou. That's a baby face guy. So. So you guys are doing a live show, staying at New York, new location.
Addis Fouche
Yeah.
Big J. Okerson
And what's the show? How to date a porn stars. This is Ralph fucking dick bragging for two and a half hours. Not at all.
Bobby Kelly
I was brought in late on this.
Big J. Okerson
Sorry, I was letting out.
Bobby Kelly
It's explained it all. Yeah.
Big J. Okerson
I even know what it was.
Addis Fouche
I needed to have somebody who's failed so many times at dating a porn star. So he's our example of what not to do.
Bobby Kelly
Yeah.
Big J. Okerson
Okay.
Addis Fouche
So we have a bunch of people on this show on like our show. So there's a sex therapist. We also have Natalia star og big performer.
Big J. Okerson
We know Natalia.
Addis Fouche
Y. So we have a lot of wide variety of people. And then also Ralph's the failure. So that I think will be really fun.
Robert Kelly
You have Dante to Dante Nero.
Addis Fouche
Yes.
Robert Kelly
Bitches up, hose down, strangle a bit.
Addis Fouche
Corinne. Yeah.
Big J. Okerson
In case Corinne needs to get smacked. You bring Dante.
Addis Fouche
Exactly.
Robert Kelly
I'll hit a bitch.
Addis Fouche
Exactly. It's gonna be so much fun, guys. So, Ralph, so I wanna know what not to do when dating a porn star. What is not what to do?
Bobby Kelly
Whatever I'm doing.
Addis Fouche
Okay. Amazing. Okay, perfect.
Robert Kelly
When you fart, not have it smell like salmon and vegetables.
Big J. Okerson
But is the discussion about how to long term date a porn star or go date with a porn star? Because I really. Ralph's answer only he's going to be like this. It's going to be a very short speech call Laney,
Addis Fouche
you know what? It's more about how to like sustain a relationship with a porn star. Cuz I don't just like be like hey, I'll take you on a date for five grand. That I don't give a about. But it's like how do you actually like date a por? Why, why did you watch?
Bobby Kelly
Well, because that's not dating a porn star. That's. That's paying for something.
Big J. Okerson
Yeah.
Robert Kelly
One's prostitution.
Addis Fouche
Yeah.
Big J. Okerson
Does the answer how to date a porn star just pay, pay for it?
Addis Fouche
Yeah, yeah, actually. But yeah, actually like state a relationship with a por. That's what this is going to be about.
Big J. Okerson
So Corey Holem's been right the whole time.
Robert Kelly
So you can date a porn star if you call her up and say, hey, I got five grand.
Addis Fouche
I mean if you're, if you're not like an asshole. Like I fired people before.
Robert Kelly
So for five grand you have to be nice too.
Addis Fouche
Yeah. Or at the very least not horrible.
Big J. Okerson
What I was picking 20 grand of what the idea is to be like to. I thought the more was like what's the psychology of dating a porn star in the business?
Addis Fouche
Well, yeah.
Big J. Okerson
And you're not in the business. And something like that is correct.
Addis Fouche
That is exactly what we're talking about.
Big J. Okerson
I'm saying, but not like, but like a transactional thing. I'm saying more like two people meet, they like each other.
Addis Fouche
Like what are the nuances of dating somebody who has sex for work?
Big J. Okerson
See, I was thinking and Jacob kind of asked this earlier at my thing, I go, I think I could definitely be fine with and move with someone who's not doing it anymore. But did it more than the active part of it I think I'd have a problem with eventually.
Robert Kelly
Isn't every girl kind of a porn star?
Addis Fouche
No, actually, because I suck dick way better than the average girl.
Robert Kelly
Prove it. I have $10,000.
Big J. Okerson
You doubled them up? I am currently sitting on $10,000.
Robert Kelly
You have to blow me on the sawmill on the back of my house.
Addis Fouche
Easy, easy.
Big J. Okerson
And you have to jump out of the car while it's moving before you get back to dawn because she's from Boston and she don't around like that.
Addis Fouche
Honestly, that'd probably be one of the most fun spots I've ever had sex.
Robert Kelly
Really?
Big J. Okerson
Yeah.
Addis Fouche
There was one time I did actually have sex in the back of a yellow cab going over the Manhattan Bridge. That was really fun.
Robert Kelly
That, that's really good.
Big J. Okerson
Was it With Ralph?
Addis Fouche
I wish.
Robert Kelly
Well, you like Ralph?
Addis Fouche
No, I just want to see someone try to come and then not come.
Big J. Okerson
Oh, well, many times.
Bobby Kelly
Welcome to the party.
Big J. Okerson
I just want to see Ralph try to get his pants off in the back of a cab. He's 6 foot 7 to put his
Robert Kelly
foot through the hole.
Big J. Okerson
Angry.
Robert Kelly
See punch marks in the roof.
Big J. Okerson
So it's going to be a Q and A with the.
Addis Fouche
Yeah, Q and a. A discussion will open up the floor to audience questions afterwards. But I'm going to kind of moderate and curate conversation.
Robert Kelly
Are you single?
Addis Fouche
You know, I always have something sweet in the mix.
Robert Kelly
So now have you ever had a boyfriend? A long term boyfriend?
Addis Fouche
Yeah, I actually had a boyfriend for two years when I very first started in the industry.
Robert Kelly
Was he in the business?
Addis Fouche
No.
Robert Kelly
What did he do?
Addis Fouche
He's a photographer and director.
Robert Kelly
So he knew what you were getting into?
Addis Fouche
Yes.
Robert Kelly
And he was cool with it at first. Did he help you? So you took seven? Right?
Addis Fouche
Until I started making more money and was more popular than him.
Robert Kelly
Really? So you got jealous?
Addis Fouche
Oh, he got so jealous. And I shot my first browser scene actually was my Brazil debut. He goes, oh, by the way, congratulations. Did I tell you that I got coffee with my ex like three weeks ago? And I was like, no, you didn't. What the fudge is wrong with you? So things like that where like guys, I think that they want to date a whore because it's like such an ego boost. But then when you're actually dating a whore and you have to like reconcile with the fact that like other men find her lifestyle, that's where like the jealousy kicks in.
Bobby Kelly
Right.
Big J. Okerson
So of course. But I don't think the jealousy would kick in in a sense because like it's saying like it's gonna make a guy also feel like, so wait, if I was doing better, you wouldn't fuck other people for money?
Addis Fouche
Well, I don't know. I mean it would take a lot for a man to take me out the game. I don't think it is even possible.
Big J. Okerson
How old are you now?
Addis Fouche
I'm 30.
Big J. Okerson
Do you have an out date?
Addis Fouche
No.
Big J. Okerson
You would do it. But do you want to jump in at some point? Do you have like a plan? Like jump to producing at some point?
Addis Fouche
Yeah, you know, I want to open my own, my own studio. I'd also really like to open a marketing agency that caters towards brands that are considered high risk. So like porn, you know, weed, stuff like that. So I, I hope you stay in
Big J. Okerson
the game until your 70s and become an older black lady in the business.
Addis Fouche
Me too. I'm the Angela Basset of the industry
Big J. Okerson
here. Go.
Robert Kelly
I do too. I hope Lanny passes her cane on to you.
Big J. Okerson
The cane. Addis. You must wield this.
Robert Kelly
All her powers in that. All her phone numbers are in it.
Addis Fouche
Exactly.
Robert Kelly
Christine, are you laughing? Are you hurting Christ? Like ice to her face. What happened, Cuz Jay hit her.
Bobby Kelly
Is that what happened?
Robert Kelly
Yeah, she's getting out of line and
Big J. Okerson
he knocked her tooth out this time. Think she learned. Yeah, I. Yeah. Dry the dishes for you. Put them away, idiot. So. So she had dental surgery.
Bobby Kelly
Oh.
Big J. Okerson
Because I hit her.
Robert Kelly
So tonight, if you go to the show as it be Thursday night. Thursday night at the Stand Up New York.
Big J. Okerson
Correct.
Addis Fouche
At the Rosewood Theater.
Robert Kelly
Rosewood Theater, Yeah.
Addis Fouche
So it's a collaboration we're doing with Stand Up New York.
Big J. Okerson
Got you.
Robert Kelly
So you're doing Rosewood Theater. And if I come, is it going to be single guys? All single guys? Is that what you're looking for? Or couples? What do you to show up?
Addis Fouche
Honestly, I'm looking for a mixture of couples that are interested in making new friends and single people as well. Because there's a lot of, like, sex workers who are lesbians and they date women. But, like, they only have sex for men when they're working. So that's a whole other nuance there too.
Robert Kelly
Right.
Addis Fouche
So queer people, couples, ugly straight men. Everyone's welcome.
Big J. Okerson
Also you. This is like. It's gonna be mostly ugly straight man. I mean, right at me when she said that.
Robert Kelly
This is like she looked around the room.
Bobby Kelly
It's like the third or fourth one you've done with a different theme, right?
Addis Fouche
Oh, I've done maybe at this point, like, maybe what, eight? Like, we kind of a lot. Yeah. We had one all about the BDSM and K community. Made one all about orgasms. We've done a bunch of different ones.
Big J. Okerson
Nice.
Robert Kelly
So I like Brazer. Brazer's a great one.
Addis Fouche
Oh, have you seen my browser scenes?
Robert Kelly
I'm going to when I get home in my sauna by myself in my garage.
Addis Fouche
My first browser scene was I fucked on a pile of money. It's called making money Makes me horny or something like that.
Big J. Okerson
I gotta be more freewheeling with the way I speak to women, maybe. Because probably what you just did made me so uncomfortable. And she was like, yeah, whatever. You essentially were like, hey, it's been great to meet you, actually, I'm gonna masturbate to you later on. And you were like, that's great. And. And you just moved on. I would have been like. I looked at you like, I was like, you don't just say it to somebody.
Robert Kelly
I respect her art. I respect her art.
Addis Fouche
Yes. You know, actually a lot of things
Big J. Okerson
I'm gonna pound so hard to you later, and then I think I'm gonna go to a diner.
Addis Fouche
That sounds like a really nice date. Actually, no, but a lot of my exes have actually had people. Other people send them my porn and they're like, yo, look at your ex, she's so hot. You fumbled like. It's happened to many of my ex.
Bobby Kelly
On the few dates that I've done with the porn industry, women, guys would come up at the dinner table and say, oh, I love your work. Which I just think is like, hey, I masturbate to you while I'm sitting having dinner with them. That was a pretty common.
Robert Kelly
Yeah, but you have to be okay with that. That's one of the things. Dating a porn girl. You have to be okay with the fact that a bunch of dudes are gonna walk up while you're having dinner. Hey, I'm a big fan of your work. Almost like they come up to Jay and they go, hey, Jay, love your stand up.
Addis Fouche
Yes, exactly.
Big J. Okerson
And then I gotta fucking pull my cock out, whatever my face is.
Addis Fouche
But that's the thing. It's like, look at that. Like, all these guys, like, are like unashamed going up to you guys and being like, oh, my God, I love your work, but at the end of the day, you're taking her home. So who's really one.
Robert Kelly
But let me ask you a question. They're kind of taking you home too.
Big J. Okerson
No.
Robert Kelly
In a weird way?
Addis Fouche
No.
Robert Kelly
Okay, so have you.
Addis Fouche
Not that.
Robert Kelly
Have you ever been on a date with a dude and another dude comes up and goes, I love your work and been like, oh, that guy's cute.
Addis Fouche
Like, yeah, no, I have cute fans. Don't get me wrong.
Robert Kelly
Actually, have you ever hooked up with a cute fan just because they're cute?
Addis Fouche
Yeah.
Robert Kelly
Okay.
Big J. Okerson
Do you think with everything you have to, like, do stuff to get over it? Kind of with everything you have to, like, do it to get over it?
Addis Fouche
What do you mean?
Big J. Okerson
Like, so with dating a porn star, it's almost like the first few times that you have sex with your boyfriend after you've done a gang bang scene or whatever, like, days after that that you have, like, that they're like. And you're kind of like, oh, the world's still normal.
Addis Fouche
Yeah, exactly, exactly.
Big J. Okerson
Like, our personal life's still normal.
Robert Kelly
I just. I'm sorry for Laughing. I'm laughing hysterically because I'm seeing you talk to this smoking hot porn star. And I'm just looking over at your chick who's just got a whole. She's just got a fucking bag of ice to her face.
Addis Fouche
I tried to get through it.
Robert Kelly
I really did. I was like, I can't.
Addis Fouche
I gotta put some ice on this fucking thing.
Robert Kelly
Poor Christina's just sitting there. My face hurts.
Addis Fouche
I really didn't even notice at first. Oh, my God. I didn't know. Notice at all. Wow, you look great.
Robert Kelly
Oh, Christine. Yes, you look great.
Addis Fouche
No, no, I didn't notice at all. No, but you're right, Jay. It's like, honestly, I feel like there's two camps, right? There's the guys who are like, no, no, I can totally handle this. And then it, like, settles in. And then later they start to get in their head. And then there's other guys who, like, at first they're all nervous and they, like, actually get to know you in the work and they're like, oh, piece of cake.
Robert Kelly
Yeah.
Big J. Okerson
And there's probably. People are coming too amped up about it, which they probably have. Bad idea. Like, it's like, do you also. You don't want a guy where it's his kink that you do. Exactly.
Addis Fouche
You can always tell, like the kind of guys who always just wanted to be around a porn star. Like, one of my guy friend. Well, he's not my guy friend anymore. We ended up fucking after this party. And he said the weirdest thing. He was like, I've only seen this ass on the Internet. And I was like, ew. Oh, God. You've just ensured I'm never going to fuck you again.
Big J. Okerson
By the way, if Ralph has sexy, he's going to say during it, I'm going to masturbate you later. We're fucking terrible.
Bobby Kelly
I like that you assume that you're going to have sex twice in one night.
Addis Fouche
Yeah, that's like very wishful thinking that two people are going to want to do that.
Big J. Okerson
Well, he's a runner now.
Jacob
Is this to teach guys to. To be able to date long term
Addis Fouche
so they don't get sitting there?
Big J. Okerson
Jeez.
Jacob
I mean, that's horrible.
Robert Kelly
Hey, guys, we'll. We'll see you tomorrow. Wednesday. We should just end the show, right?
Addis Fouche
I mean.
Robert Kelly
Oh, my God.
Jacob
That's not my show.
Robert Kelly
Oh, my God, that is awesome.
Jacob
I came in after, you probably didn't see me.
Addis Fouche
Oh, I definitely did not.
Robert Kelly
Yeah, I know.
Big J. Okerson
That is wonderful.
Robert Kelly
Take your time, Jay. Take whatever time you need, buddy. Take whatever time you need.
Big J. Okerson
Just take it. She did it. She didn't go. She thought Jacob was a Roomba.
Robert Kelly
Jacob has the charisma of a chair.
Addis Fouche
You hear me? So she linked in. Jacob? Hello, Jacob.
Big J. Okerson
She thought you were a jacket on a chair.
Jacob
I thought I grew out of that hurt, but I haven't. It hurts like it's in high school.
Big J. Okerson
That's why you have to take Ralph's comprehensive program.
Jacob
Trying to engage. But now I don't care.
Addis Fouche
No, no, no, no. Please wait. Ask me again.
Jacob
No, I can't. There's a hole I want to crawl into.
Addis Fouche
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
Robert Kelly
Apparently, you're already in it.
Big J. Okerson
Jacob, come out of your hole and ask your question. Bloom for us, please.
Jacob
Now, the question was, it seems like the guys that you. You were dating are okay at the beginning.
Addis Fouche
Yeah.
Jacob
So you're trying to teach guys how not to lose it.
Addis Fouche
You know, and I think, not be jealous. Right, Jacob? Because I think a lot of guys, like, they think with their dicks, right? They're like, I don't know. I can totally handle this. Like, even if they, in the back of their mind, know that they to. It's the fact that, like, this girl's really hot and she's also a porn star that they convince themselves they can.
Robert Kelly
But because we think. Can I say something on the. On the side of those guys?
Addis Fouche
Oh, oh, sure.
Robert Kelly
Just. Just to give you. I want to give you a different perspective.
Addis Fouche
Okay.
Robert Kelly
I. You know, because I feel like.
Addis Fouche
Yeah.
Robert Kelly
Because she looks at me, I freak out when. Because he's still afraid of black people.
Addis Fouche
I know, right?
Robert Kelly
I didn't even know she was.
Addis Fouche
I'm going to start a rumor that you think all lives matter.
Robert Kelly
Actually, I do. You have to start.
Big J. Okerson
He's got blue Lives matter on his chest.
Robert Kelly
That's actually on my Instagram. Pa.
Big J. Okerson
I will tell you. Bobby won't tell you. Bobby's recently saved two ethnic people from certain doom.
Bobby Kelly
That's when we. I got my favorite black.
Big J. Okerson
A black child from drowning in Costa Rica.
Addis Fouche
Yes.
Big J. Okerson
In the ocean.
Addis Fouche
Wait, this person was a child?
Robert Kelly
Yeah.
Addis Fouche
Oh, that makes it even cooler.
Robert Kelly
Yeah. And she was a woman.
Addis Fouche
Oh, my God. I'm definitely gonna suck you.
Bobby Kelly
And that's when he texted me.
Robert Kelly
I say five black ships. I say five black child.
Addis Fouche
Five blow drops for you.
Robert Kelly
Blow me? And what about my finger in the butt? I saved the baby.
Addis Fouche
Amazing. Amazing.
Robert Kelly
And what I'm saying.
Big J. Okerson
Thank God your fingers are already brown.
Addis Fouche
I know. Exactly. Let's hear it.
Robert Kelly
What I'm Saying is that. That you. You sex to you. You've done a lot of stuff you do, you know, so sex to me, like when I have sex with a girl I like making out, I like to, you know, do is there. It might be intimidating to be with you because, you know, you've done so much stuff you want to do. So how do I know what. What not to do to you? Do I do too much or.
Addis Fouche
I'll tell you that because that's the thing. Like, when we shoot our scenes, everybody has, like a no list. And so you go over people's no lists. Like, what's. Like, things you don't like to do.
Robert Kelly
What's your no list?
Addis Fouche
I mean, I know this is very short, coincidentally, but I don't like it when people bite my nipples because they're really sensitive and they're also pierced. And so, like, it's just very, like, it's over sensitive. I don't like that. I don't like when people put their tongue in my ear. Feels like a wet willy. And it's weird, right?
Robert Kelly
I hate that too.
Addis Fouche
Right. So just stuff like that. But, like, I'm okay if you put your finger in my butt. Are you okay with, like, rough face? Whatever happens.
Big J. Okerson
I was looking at it. It goes. This is gonna be very. Don't put your tongue in my ear. Double anal.
Addis Fouche
Yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah.
Big J. Okerson
I'd have wrote it down if it was on the list.
Robert Kelly
Yeah, yeah.
Addis Fouche
Right, right, right, right. Just check the post. It's right here. It's a short list.
Robert Kelly
I actually like tongues in my ear. I just don't like the aftermath when stuff comes out on your tongue and you go.
Addis Fouche
Right.
Robert Kelly
That bothers me.
Big J. Okerson
You do love getting your ass blasted too, though.
Robert Kelly
Not blasted.
Big J. Okerson
He's open to the idea, though.
Addis Fouche
Not blasted. Just a calm entering and exiting.
Big J. Okerson
If it's a woman with a penis, he'll do it.
Robert Kelly
No, no. I don't like stuff in my butt. Too much fat.
Big J. Okerson
Because he really wants to.
Robert Kelly
I don't want to.
Addis Fouche
I don't believe you.
Robert Kelly
I can't tell.
Big J. Okerson
This was earlier. He told me he wants to gape for his wife.
Addis Fouche
I can actually gape. Oh, my God. I can gape.
Robert Kelly
I'm gonna throw up here. I don't like gaping. You know that.
Addis Fouche
Are you sure?
Robert Kelly
That's when you open your vagina up and it looks like an asshole.
Addis Fouche
That's when you. They pull out the dick and then
Robert Kelly
your asshole kind of goes, yeah, the prolapse.
Addis Fouche
Right now you're just introducing different stuff. I'm sorry, is gaping.
Big J. Okerson
I told my friend Ada she would come in here and not talk to fucking idiots, Bob. And you are making us look stupid as shit right now.
Robert Kelly
Listen to me. I don't know what gaping is. When you. What is.
Addis Fouche
Okay, that's when you're getting in the butt, right? And then you pull the dick out, and then there's like, extra space because, you know, like, now the can stretch and goes.
Robert Kelly
So you can see inside the.
Addis Fouche
Yeah. When it goes inside out, I do
Robert Kelly
not want to see inside of an.
Addis Fouche
Are you sure about that?
Big J. Okerson
Because mine is pretty nice. It's just a dark hole.
Robert Kelly
No, but it's.
Big J. Okerson
There you go, Bobby.
Robert Kelly
Yeah, I don't want to see that.
Addis Fouche
That's gaping.
Robert Kelly
That looks like something from space.
Big J. Okerson
Right.
Robert Kelly
And I don't like it.
Big J. Okerson
No, but here's the thing. If you put your hand in there, weirdly, like, two of your fingers will come out of your ears.
Thumbtack Announcer
Right?
Addis Fouche
Exactly, exactly.
Big J. Okerson
It's like Stargate.
Addis Fouche
I know. There's something inside.
Robert Kelly
Is that what Otto and George did?
Addis Fouche
Yes.
Robert Kelly
Yes.
Addis Fouche
That is gaping. That's a great gap.
Robert Kelly
That's the worst thing.
Big J. Okerson
That's what they call in the biz, breaking on through to the other side.
Robert Kelly
I don't know. I don't want to see a dark hole.
Big J. Okerson
Wow.
Robert Kelly
Unless I did magic.
Big J. Okerson
Now your racism comes out again.
Robert Kelly
If a watch came out of there, like, look, it's a happy birthday to you.
Big J. Okerson
Wait.
Addis Fouche
Oh. But to answer your question, back to the topic. Yes, yes. Like, I. I mean, here's the thing, like, trying so many things, like, eventually, like, loses this novel team. And eventually it's like, do I want to, you know, entertain a. No, I don't. Right. Eventually, like, certain things, I'm just like, you've reached your threshold, at least to me.
Robert Kelly
Right.
Addis Fouche
And, yeah, like, I mean, that's pretty fun.
Big J. Okerson
No nipple biting. Ear licks are shitting on my chest.
Addis Fouche
Yes, exactly, exactly.
Big J. Okerson
It is still in the same post.
Robert Kelly
You know what these days feel like? Everything costs more. Groceries, gas bills. It all adds up. And we've all felt the pressure of trying to make our money stretch a little further. I'm always going over the budgets and what I can buy and my wife's. You don't need it. We can't get it. It's a real tough thing to actually take care of what you're spending, have a savings. It's just rough out there for everyone. So when the tax refund hits and you're thinking, what's the best way to keep more in your pocket? Without giving something up. Well, here's the real life hack for you. Switch to Metro and save with no activation fees and get one line of 5G for only 25 bucks. Yup, only 25 bucks. And no contracts that get in the way. The best thing, you can, keep the phone you love and keep your number. That's a lot of ands, but that's exactly the point. Get that more for your money feeling only at Metro. Visit your local store on metrobytmobile.com and switch today. $30 first month, $25 after with autopay.
Big J. Okerson
Guys, you know running a business is complicated. There's dozens of software programs that you need and they're all so expensive. And since they come from different companies, they don't always play nice with one another. But what can you do, right? Odoo? That's what Odoo has all the software business owners need. We're talking sales, CRM, manufacturing websites, literally every kind of software and it's all on one platform. So it works together and it's quality software. So you're not sacrificing. It's simply a better experience than a hodgepodge of programs. You'd expect to pay a premium for it. Right?
Addis Fouche
Right.
Big J. Okerson
But that's the most amazing part about Odoo. This interconnected suite of business software costs less than the mini mash of disconnected programs you're currently using. So the question is, why spend more on software programs that are less efficient when Odoo's simple software platform can handle everything for a fraction of the price? Discover how Odoo can take your business to the next level by visiting odoo.com that's O D o o.
Robert Kelly
A thoughtfully built wardrobe comes down to pieces that mix well and last. That's where Quince shines. Premium fabrics considered design and everyday essentials that feel effortless to wear and dependable even as the seasons change. Quince has the everyday essential you'll love. With quality that lasts. Lightweight cashmere sweaters, short sleeve Mongolian cashmere polos, linen bottoms and shorts. These are all the versatile pieces that makes a wardrobe actually work season to season. I love it. I just got an awesome jacket. It's casual but dressy. I can wear it to the clubs, on stage. I can wear it out to dinner with my wife if we go somewhere fancy. And you know what? It's wintertime, springtime, summertime. I love quints. I love the sweaters. The cashmere sweater I got is so soft right now. Go to quints.com bondfall for free shipping and 365 day returns. That's a full year to wear it and love it. And you will now available in Canada too. Don't keep settling for clothes that don't last. Go to Q U I n c e.com bonfire for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.com bonfire why do most people want to learn a new language? It's probably not about memorizing grammar tables or topping a leaderboard. It's because we want to speak it out loud in the real world with real people. Babbel gets you there fast. Learning a language with Babbel is all about small steps and big wins and progress. You can actually track and feel. Their bite sized lessons fit easily into your daily routine and are also easy to remember. Just 10 minutes a day is enough to start seeing real results. I use it. I have it on my phone. Anytime I have a free moment when I'm flying or I'm at an airport, I'm just hanging out, waiting for something to go on. I'll throw on my babble. And it has helped me so much just to say hello and hi and have conversations with people. I'm going back to Cuba with my son. I'm going back to Costa Rica. It made it so much easier that I was using Babel every day so I could get things done and feel more comfortable speaking the language of Spanish. Here is a special limited time deal for our listeners right now. Get up to 60% off your Babel subscription at babbel.com bonfire get up to 60% off at babbel.com bonFire spell B A B B E L.com forward slash bonfire. Rules and restrictions may apply.
Addis Fouche
So like, I mean, for me, like, I think guys get intimidated because they're like, oh, she's more experienced. But it's like, yeah, she could literally have sex with anybody she wants and you're still in the room. So what are you worried about?
Robert Kelly
Do you have to fuck? Do you have. Can we just snuggle?
Addis Fouche
Yes.
Robert Kelly
Can we go home and just watch a movie and.
Addis Fouche
Yes. What movie are we watching?
Robert Kelly
I was gonna say the new movie Roleplay, which is really fun. It's about a biracial couple, but the wife is a sa. Acid. It's on prime right now.
Big J. Okerson
You're making Bobby panic Specific.
Robert Kelly
It's a really good movie.
Addis Fouche
And do I get to assassinate you or who's assassinating we?
Robert Kelly
No, like I'm saying, like. All right, say me and you go on a date.
Jacob
Okay.
Robert Kelly
I just want to go Maybe. All right, we have a first date, we go out to dinner, spend a lot of money, treat you nice.
Bobby Kelly
Then we go back, already, establish ten grand. So.
Big J. Okerson
Right.
Addis Fouche
Do you see how my eyes perked up when he said, spend a lot of money?
Big J. Okerson
I said, this is cutting into your butthole. Finger in my hand.
Robert Kelly
We're getting to it. So then we go, we have all crazy sex, and next time, maybe we go to your apartment and we watch True Romance. That sounds great.
Addis Fouche
Yes. Because at the end of the day, people don't understand that, like, you know, porn stars, we're still like, people. Like, I was a person before.
Jacob
I know.
Addis Fouche
Like, I was, like, a porn star before. Yeah. I was a person before I was a porn star.
Big J. Okerson
I got some calls to make.
Addis Fouche
I know.
Big J. Okerson
Wait a second. I'm gonna make some phone calls.
Robert Kelly
I'm asking you, like, if we. If we go to bed, will you help me put my CPAP machine on?
Addis Fouche
No. Well, that. That you have to handle on your own.
Robert Kelly
Okay.
Addis Fouche
Because I'm scared of that.
Robert Kelly
Okay.
Jacob
All right.
Addis Fouche
That's very X Men to me.
Bobby Kelly
Whoa.
Big J. Okerson
You don't want to sit next to a guy who breathes like Darth Vader all night.
Addis Fouche
I do not.
Bobby Kelly
Gaping. She's not afraid of a TPAP machine.
Addis Fouche
Yeah, no, actually, but that's the thing
Big J. Okerson
also, there is something. You have to enjoy your work to some degree. I think that's the thing that would bother a guy too, is coming home. It's not that you, like, fuck. If you came home and you were like, once I hit this goal of whatever, like, I gotta get out of this. Like, I did a fucking gang bang today and this guy had, like, the biggest fucking dick. But if, you know, if you came home and you were like, oh. Cause that was a hell of a day. Like, God damn, so and so fucks good. Like, I could see a guy being hard, be like, oh. And the thing is, it's. Even if you're not saying that him feeling. It's like, him. You're not saying that. But he's like. He's like, oh, she seems, like, in a good mood. That must have been a great gang bang today.
Addis Fouche
So I've. So I've been two of my exes, actually.
Big J. Okerson
Oh, I don't know. I just get really upset.
Addis Fouche
I like consistent sex and, like, knowing what kind of person they are and keeping them at arm's length. But one of them was like. So, like, do you ever just get, like, lost in the scene and just, like, have fun? I'm like, you don't want the answer to that question. Because if I say yes, you're gonna be jealous. If I say no, you're gonna think I'm a damsel in distress or that
Big J. Okerson
I' like, we're lying for his benefit.
Addis Fouche
Yeah. So, like, you don't want the answer to this question.
Robert Kelly
Well, there's a big difference between, like, coming home. I think Joe was saying is, oh, man, the show was great tonight. I loved it. The crowd was hot and you coming home. And dude, those dicks were awesome today.
Big J. Okerson
I think it's. It's the tough thing. It's like, you don't want what you do to be their kink, but they have to also find it. You gotta just find people who find, like, the hotness in it.
Addis Fouche
Right? Exactly.
Big J. Okerson
They have to also think it's a little bit hot, or else it will eventually just be like. Like the first time. You don't have, like, two weeks where you don't each other and you at work three times. You're like, oh, so I guess you're at work now. Exclusive. It's just like, I can see the.
Addis Fouche
Okay. Yeah. But, like, also too, like, the dick could be really fun. But then I, like, don't actually care about my coaster as a person. Like, there are a lot of people in the industry. I don't care if you live or die. I'm so serious. But, like, are you good to work with? Yes.
Big J. Okerson
Are there people who you good with? And then actually when the scene was over or since they've just been like, they actually suck. I don't like them at all.
Addis Fouche
Yeah. Yes.
Big J. Okerson
Really?
Addis Fouche
Many, many, Ralph.
Robert Kelly
Many such cases. Yes.
Bobby Kelly
I. I think I told you guys ahead of time. I'm really sorry. I have to leave.
Big J. Okerson
Why?
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, I have somewhere to be.
Robert Kelly
Where?
Big J. Okerson
You finally getting your breast implants?
Bobby Kelly
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have to go practice up for this. For this night, I got to make sure I have all my ducks in a row.
Big J. Okerson
You have a date with a porn star tonight?
Bobby Kelly
No.
Robert Kelly
No.
Bobby Kelly
But I do have to get out of here. I'm really sorry.
Big J. Okerson
I told.
Bobby Kelly
I told Christine ahead of time.
Robert Kelly
Are they making you your wife finally?
Big J. Okerson
Yeah. There's only 15 more minutes left anyway, so.
Bobby Kelly
I appreciate it. It's always good to see you all.
Big J. Okerson
Make sure you check out Ra. Him and Addis are going to be at Stan or not at the.
Addis Fouche
We'll be at the Rosewood Theater.
Big J. Okerson
The Rosewood theater?
Addis Fouche
Yes.
Big J. Okerson
That's this Thursday. The Lust Files presents How to date a porn Star. Get tickets@stanupnewyork.com. standupny.com.
Addis Fouche
Thank you.
Robert Kelly
I feel bad, Ralph. We were gonna do 30 second drawings of you and her together and it's okay. That's all right.
Big J. Okerson
We can.
Robert Kelly
We can do it next time.
Big J. Okerson
This is gonna be the first time I ever heard. This is the first time I ever had. This is the first time ever I was gonna see you full frontal. Oh, did Lainey not tell you? Full nude picture.
Addis Fouche
Ralph, why do I feel like you look really crazy naked? Oh, you can't hear me.
Robert Kelly
No, you can't hear me.
Big J. Okerson
Can. He's older. He's going to get his.
Robert Kelly
He's going to get new bolts put in his head.
Addis Fouche
I think he looks like Mr. Potato Head naked.
Big J. Okerson
Well, it is funny. Oh, he's. I bet he's. He runs all the time, so I bet he's pretty slim at this point,
Addis Fouche
but probably slim, but very oddly shaped.
Big J. Okerson
Oh, yeah, yeah. No, he's a giant.
Addis Fouche
When you like drop a can on the floor.
Big J. Okerson
No, it's kind of like he looks like. He looks so much like Peter Steele from Typo Negative Ralph. And. And what's funny, we see Peter Steele did Playgirl. It's pretty much why I picture Ralph like is even. Even though Peter Steele's in shape, he's just so like milky white long haired guy that it's not like it still looks wrong.
Robert Kelly
He's 1970s movie star in shape.
Addis Fouche
It's very Edward Cullen. Very.
Big J. Okerson
Doesn't look. You know what if I wasn't a dude.
Addis Fouche
Oh, no. Oh, ew. He looks like he eats people, but
Big J. Okerson
you see what I mean? Yeah, it's like. Like I'm saying he's in good shape, obviously, but I'm like, I'm not jealous of that shape at all.
Addis Fouche
And you see, that's exactly it. There's some guys that like, I am. I get. I see the appeal, but I'm not into them.
Robert Kelly
Have you ever dated a fat dude?
Addis Fouche
You know what? No. But I have an ex boyfriend who's gay now.
Robert Kelly
Well, that's not even the same thing. I mean, what the was that? Just say no.
Big J. Okerson
No.
Robert Kelly
Jay, it's all right. I don't know what she goes, no,
Big J. Okerson
but one was gay.
Taco Bell Announcer
Yeah.
Addis Fouche
So no fast, just gays. No fast. Just gays.
Robert Kelly
No fat, just gay.
Addis Fouche
Yeah. I feel like I'm the most likely person to have a gay ex boyfriend. You know what I mean?
Robert Kelly
Right. That makes sense.
Big J. Okerson
You thought they were so fun for a while.
Addis Fouche
I did.
Big J. Okerson
How was the sex with him?
Addis Fouche
Amazing.
Robert Kelly
Did he like it in the butt?
Addis Fouche
Oh, you know What? He didn't. But he put me through a mattress daily.
Robert Kelly
Oh, okay.
Addis Fouche
He was so good in bed. It was like he was like the whisperer. And now he's gay, right?
Robert Kelly
Well, he got. He went beyond.
Addis Fouche
Oh, yeah. He studied up so much. He realized that he had.
Big J. Okerson
He's just a genitals whisperer. It doesn't matter.
Robert Kelly
What. I've done all I can with the. I need to go to Dick now.
Addis Fouche
He's graduated. He's in graduate school.
Robert Kelly
He might come back. He has a Michelin star in.
Addis Fouche
I hope he comes back.
Robert Kelly
Yeah.
Big J. Okerson
Have you had fun people, celebrities in your DMs?
Addis Fouche
Yeah, I have fun ones, yeah.
Robert Kelly
People that we know.
Addis Fouche
Yeah. People you know and love.
Robert Kelly
People we know and love now. People who have won awards.
Addis Fouche
Benjamin Netanyahu, you know, some politicians. There's actually a politician's son that I hook up with a lot.
Big J. Okerson
Really?
Addis Fouche
Yeah. No, no, no.
Big J. Okerson
It's Barron Trump.
Addis Fouche
And you know what? And he invited me to his birthday party the other day and I was like, no, sorry, cuz it was bowling Baron Trump. No, I was.
Big J. Okerson
Oh, the person, the son of the doctor.
Addis Fouche
He's like, do you want to come to my birthday party? And like, I just didn't want to go bowling at 6 o'. Clock. So I said no.
Robert Kelly
Do you have any. Do you have, like, stuff on people where you could be like, dude, I could you.
Addis Fouche
Oh, totally.
Robert Kelly
Really?
Addis Fouche
Yeah.
Bobby Kelly
Wow.
Big J. Okerson
You know, I'm in the Epstein files.
Addis Fouche
I believe that. Look at you.
Big J. Okerson
You want to hook up.
Addis Fouche
Look at you. Spikes on your hands.
Big J. Okerson
Just so you know, in case you want to hook up. I've been in the Epstein Fil. Not once, but twice.
Addis Fouche
You're like, I don't need to brag. What? I've been around internationally.
Big J. Okerson
I feel like there's not enough other comics that are excited about this. Well, on that list.
Robert Kelly
Well, I wasn't in it and I was very upset.
Big J. Okerson
I talked to Ari Shafirda. He was very bummed that he wasn't on the two lists that I was on.
Robert Kelly
Colin Quinn was in it, which is.
Big J. Okerson
Made it nice. It was just an advertisement for a comedy show. Somebody emailed him. But still.
Addis Fouche
Wait, that's actually kind of smart.
Big J. Okerson
It's in the files.
Addis Fouche
Yeah, right.
Big J. Okerson
I believe it's in the files.
Addis Fouche
Ari wasn't in New York at that time.
Big J. Okerson
Okay.
Robert Kelly
Have you ever. Have you ever been to an island? Have you been asked to go to something like that?
Addis Fouche
Yeah.
Robert Kelly
You have?
Addis Fouche
Yeah.
Robert Kelly
And what did you say?
Addis Fouche
Oh, that I had a scene to shoot.
Robert Kelly
Oh, you had to go there for a scene?
Addis Fouche
No, no, I was busy, so I didn't go.
Robert Kelly
Oh, really? You asked to go to the Epstein island?
Addis Fouche
No, to an island. An island with the program.
Robert Kelly
Okay, well.
Big J. Okerson
And then when you get to the end, he goes, now I want you to on my chest.
Addis Fouche
I actually did. I have had a scab that client before. So he wanted me to. On the floor so he could like scoop it up in the newspaper and sniff it while he jerked off.
Robert Kelly
But he misses dog.
Big J. Okerson
Jacob, Jacob. Stop making faces of understanding. It's a disgusting thing.
Addis Fouche
Jacob's like. Jacob's like, I concur.
Robert Kelly
Yeah.
Big J. Okerson
Jacob's like, yo, I get it. That's why I wear this dookie brown jacket.
Addis Fouche
Yes, yes, yes.
Robert Kelly
So he wanted you in case somebody
Big J. Okerson
scats on his chest. He's already ready.
Addis Fouche
The thing is, he wanted to. He wanted to pick it up. And I was like, well, how's. Like, how's that gonna work?
Robert Kelly
But how'd he pick it up with a bag? Like.
Addis Fouche
No, no, no, no. We laid the newspaper paper on the floor.
Robert Kelly
Okay. And he picked it up with.
Addis Fouche
Yeah. And you know what? That's how I know. I'm just not into scat. Because I knew it before, but now I really know.
Robert Kelly
You know why? Cuz it's.
Addis Fouche
Well, yes. And you know. And you know what? He like, he kept Bob.
Big J. Okerson
You know what I found out recently? You know, Scatter.
Robert Kelly
Yeah.
Addis Fouche
You learn something new every day.
Big J. Okerson
You know how to find the hard way on an island. Scared of. Yeah, same thing. Synonyms. Who knew Germans.
Addis Fouche
He. No, no, he like. He scooped it up. He took it to go. He took it to go. I don't know what he did with it.
Big J. Okerson
He took it to go.
Robert Kelly
Yeah, I like.
Big J. Okerson
He wrapped a newspaper like fresh fish.
Robert Kelly
That was actually a doggy bag.
Big J. Okerson
When you come home with some meat in the newspaper, there you go. Straight from the butcher.
Addis Fouche
Yep.
Robert Kelly
So now did you. Now I know a friend of mine who used to be in scat and he used to. The girls used to.
Big J. Okerson
Jim Norton. You've worked with him, I'm sure.
Addis Fouche
Wow.
Big J. Okerson
What the. Jay James Nor. I believe you've worked with him before. I believe he's venmoed you before.
Robert Kelly
The girls. The girls used to have to eat certain food because he didn't want. Yes, he didn't want, you know, runny poop.
Addis Fouche
Oh, yeah.
Robert Kelly
You have to eat a certain meal.
Addis Fouche
You need your facilium husk. You need your fiber.
Robert Kelly
You need it to be fluffy like a loaf of bread. You want it to come out and not stain your chest.
Addis Fouche
You want it to have more of a frozen yogurt kind of consistency.
Big J. Okerson
Good. Bobby, keep trying to out gross her out. She's going to win, dude.
Addis Fouche
I am.
Big J. Okerson
You have a weak stomach, man. She's going to get you.
Addis Fouche
Say gape again.
Robert Kelly
Yeah.
Big J. Okerson
Newspaper for a stranger on an island. You're not gonna beat her in this.
Addis Fouche
That's my favorite poem.
Robert Kelly
No, but one time the girl lied and said that I. I ate right today. Blah, blah, blah. I got a nice fluffy one. And she showed up and a suppository fell on his chest.
Addis Fouche
Wow.
Robert Kelly
Yeah.
Addis Fouche
That's so special.
Big J. Okerson
Which. Oh, so you know she was doping. What's that, dude? That Kurt Mets. I don't give the whole thing what he says. Finding out because you guys know two girls, one cup was faked. It turns out it was. You could tell. I know, but he goes. He said. He goes. The guy told me that. And I went, what? He goes, not the reaction you're supposed to have. Like, oh, thank God. I mean, that was so terrible. Because I went, what? Like you're angry about it? You guys have secrets.
Addis Fouche
What?
Big J. Okerson
I based my whole life on that. Since then, that. That's the world we live in.
Robert Kelly
So Thursday night, you're gonna be there.
Big J. Okerson
Yeah.
Robert Kelly
And you're going to be helping guys learn how to date a porn star.
Big J. Okerson
Jacob, you're going.
Robert Kelly
Yeah, Jacob, you should go.
Addis Fouche
You should come. And make sure you take off that coat, please. I want to know what's underneath the coat.
Robert Kelly
I want to know he's there.
Big J. Okerson
Also, Jacob, you don't need a ticket at all because no one's going to know you're there. You could just float off the street like dust.
Robert Kelly
That's because Jacob dresses like the back of a chair.
Big J. Okerson
Jake, you gotta go.
Addis Fouche
I feel like I might actually put you in my cart at IKEA here.
Big J. Okerson
You know, Laney's going to this thing, you know, there's going to be porn stars hanging out.
Robert Kelly
Jacob, you should go Thursday night to see and then come back on Monday and let us know what you learned. See if you learn anything.
Big J. Okerson
It would be nice for you to find out if you can learn something.
Robert Kelly
Yeah.
Addis Fouche
If you could learn how to learn anything.
Big J. Okerson
If you can learn anything at all. Fantastic.
Robert Kelly
Some of these skills gonna go over to regular women too, right?
Addis Fouche
Yes, exactly. Exactly. This is for the guys, the girls, the gays and the couples, Everybody.
Big J. Okerson
I say DraftKing I would say that after the thing that Jacob winds up on Ralph's list. SiriusXM host 3 hours SIUS XM host, dated, we kissed.
Robert Kelly
And then he went home nervous.
Jacob
Just dinner.
Big J. Okerson
Just dinner. But he tried to invite you to
Robert Kelly
an island at Ted Montana's.
Big J. Okerson
Oh, it's the best. Dude, that was so fun when they get the porn stars to come in and would read Ralph's DMs to them. Just trying afterwards.
Addis Fouche
Kendra's. Wow.
Big J. Okerson
Oh, that's right. When he wrote the thing, it was Kendra Soto and dated. I go, what? No, you didn't. And that's the first one I realized it was like a dinner date, though. It's like a dinner date. They didn't. Or anything like that because I was like. That would have been a thing. They were talked about.
Addis Fouche
Yeah, no, definitely.
Big J. Okerson
She wasn't on the list.
Addis Fouche
He told me to put her on. Oh, of course he did.
Big J. Okerson
Yes. Well, we had dinner.
Addis Fouche
Yeah, I took her out.
Big J. Okerson
He went to beef. He went to beef up his thing.
Addis Fouche
Yeah, he was trying to pad his resume.
Big J. Okerson
Son of a.
Robert Kelly
Have you ever dated a kid comedian?
Addis Fouche
You know what? I have. And he wasn't even funny.
Robert Kelly
You have. And he wasn't funny.
Addis Fouche
He was funny on stage, but he wasn't funny in real life.
Big J. Okerson
Really? That's what my neighbor said about me.
Addis Fouche
Yeah. Yeah.
Big J. Okerson
You're real serious in real life. I'm like, you're drunk at noon.
Jacob
Yeah,
Addis Fouche
that is very true.
Robert Kelly
Do we know the community? Like, is he.
Addis Fouche
Yeah, you. You. Well, you do because he's on ladies roster. Oh, yeah. Brett. Yeah. Yeah, I did used to. Yeah. Brett Raybould and I had a. A situationship. A little flirtation relationship. Yeah, I love white boys, actually. Yeah, we. We went on dates. You know, whatever. Yeah, he was. He did that movie. He did that race. The play.
Bobby Kelly
The movie.
Addis Fouche
Yeah, that's him.
Bobby Kelly
That's him.
Big J. Okerson
Good for him. I know Bobby. That kills you.
Robert Kelly
Are you with Bobby? No, I'm actually Bobby.
Big J. Okerson
Do you remember. Do you remember how. Young buck, can you show a picture show. Add us a picture of young Bobby, please. Young Bobby will never understand how this guy got you.
Addis Fouche
I know.
Big J. Okerson
Young Bobby was stud.
Addis Fouche
He really pulled very well.
Big J. Okerson
Young Bobby is. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't worry. Christine always brings it up. This is part of her Jill session.
Addis Fouche
Oh, my God.
Big J. Okerson
Well, you gotta get the.
Addis Fouche
Wait a minute.
Big J. Okerson
Come on.
Addis Fouche
Oh, my God. You are so cute. What the.
Robert Kelly
Oh, I mean, that's the wrong. That's the wrong. That's the not thing that I would. I would like to hear.
Addis Fouche
Oh, my God.
Big J. Okerson
Oh, Smash, smash, smash, smash all day long.
Addis Fouche
Smash. Yeah.
Robert Kelly
Where's the one I showed you the Other day.
Big J. Okerson
Chris, look at that reflection of Dennis Wolfberg in your lapels.
Addis Fouche
That's so spooky.
Big J. Okerson
Dennis Wolfberg, Wow. Yeah. Look at little Bobby.
Addis Fouche
Oh, my God.
Big J. Okerson
Look at that muscle. Look at that. Look at this guy.
Addis Fouche
Whoa. Who's that? Is that you?
Robert Kelly
Yes, that's me as a lifeguard.
Big J. Okerson
All right, let's start talking about it. I think we're actually making Bobby really interesting.
Addis Fouche
Trans. I thought that was long hair.
Robert Kelly
I haven't. I haven't transitioned yet.
Addis Fouche
Yet.
Big J. Okerson
Okay.
Robert Kelly
I'm gonna do that when I'm 60 so I can get a deal with Netflix.
Addis Fouche
You're not 60 yet. Are you sure?
Robert Kelly
No.
Big J. Okerson
No.
Addis Fouche
Okay.
Robert Kelly
Oh, my God. You're.
Big J. Okerson
She knows you like this, though.
Robert Kelly
I do like it.
Big J. Okerson
Dude, you've been 3/4 hard since you started ragging your ass as soon as
Robert Kelly
she said, oh, my God when she saw that photo.
Big J. Okerson
Yeah.
Robert Kelly
Look at this. There's another one right there.
Addis Fouche
Oh, Smash. Easy, easy.
Robert Kelly
That was still.
Big J. Okerson
That guy's still in there.
Addis Fouche
There would be.
Robert Kelly
No, he's not. He's died.
Addis Fouche
Oh, oh, oh. Okay, let's bring him back. Yeah, yeah.
Robert Kelly
No, this. This Dominican Bob over there.
Big J. Okerson
I'm not going to show you old pictures of me because I look better now. For sure.
Bobby Kelly
I'm glad.
Addis Fouche
Of yourself. Aware. Thank you.
Big J. Okerson
Don't look at my open.
Robert Kelly
I won't show you a picture. He won't, but I will. Oh.
Addis Fouche
Which one is he?
Robert Kelly
He's the woman in the back.
Addis Fouche
Okay.
Big J. Okerson
You son of a. I told her to show great pictures of you.
Robert Kelly
There he is. There he is right there.
Addis Fouche
Oh, my God. You look like.
Big J. Okerson
It's not me.
Robert Kelly
That's not me. That was his family photo.
Addis Fouche
That kid looks like the little thing.
Big J. Okerson
That's a woman.
Addis Fouche
Are you sure?
Big J. Okerson
Yes, that was a woman.
Robert Kelly
Doesn't feel good, does it, Jay?
Big J. Okerson
I show great pictures of you. I said bring up Sexy Bobby. You sandbag me and Fernanda Sue.
Robert Kelly
Seriously, Christine, put that ice bag on your mouth again.
Big J. Okerson
Oh, God. Christine, go show her my big fat walking around on P. Diddy Show. That's right. I didn't get invited to a P. Diddy party. I didn't get raped or nothing.
Robert Kelly
They didn't have baby oil.
Addis Fouche
Wasted her time.
Big J. Okerson
What a waste of time to be on P. Diddy show and not get raped at all.
Robert Kelly
You were managed by Pity for three years.
Big J. Okerson
Three years.
Addis Fouche
Were you in?
Big J. Okerson
I mean, he makes you sign a contract when you did the show and no one looked at it. And there was a clause in it that says if you get anything for the Next three years years he will get a manager's cut because.
Addis Fouche
Oh, wow.
Big J. Okerson
Because you were on this glorious show that was essentially just a thing to show off his stupid clothing. Well, yeah, there's Bobby there. Oh, look at that. Hey, where does the jacket end and Bobby's tummy begins? I don't know, cuz this is what he just did to me.
Robert Kelly
Okay, I'm sorry.
Big J. Okerson
He did save a black. He did save a little black girl.
Addis Fouche
Costa Rica though, thank goodness.
Big J. Okerson
Oh, oh my God. This is from Bobby's special. It's behind the paywalls called yes, My eyes are sweating.
Robert Kelly
I actually saved a girl with that shirt. I used it as a parachute.
Addis Fouche
Oh my God.
Big J. Okerson
Bobby used to have, I used to open for Bobby at college shows when I first started out and Bobby was doing. He was the college comic and there was a picture of him when we walked in, walked in to one of them and I mean these girls, it was like the seven girls who ran the, you know, whoever putting the show on for the school, the student government or whatever, they would go, they clamor on by, bring him over to bring to this giant picture of him. And it was, he was like this, this picture with his. With a button down shirt, kango hat open and laughing at something. He's like, ah.
Robert Kelly
I wasn't laughing. I was actually getting jerked off. I was finger, I was finger popping the photographer that was taking the photo.
Addis Fouche
Kind of cute. That's kind of romantic in a way.
Big J. Okerson
It was romantic and that was a great picture. And these girls came out. I mean first of all, I went up there, I'm young and I also there's the things where you can't curse, you can't do all this stuff. I didn't know and I panicked and I just had like such a whatever set and then I had to watch I'm driving. So I wanted to leave after the show. And Bobby's like, well, hang on. They have to carry him around the room a little bit. They came up and presented him with the greatest comic ever award. It's not a real award.
Addis Fouche
Oh, oh.
Big J. Okerson
They gave him the greatest comic. They gave him a trophy. The greatest comic ever at this point, school award. That's how much girls wanted to Bobby
Addis Fouche
and, and so, and so what was the fat. You became this way.
Big J. Okerson
I had to go ring the bell every hour.
Robert Kelly
Oh, I got, I got married. Oh, I got married and I had a kid.
Addis Fouche
Oh, okay, cool.
Big J. Okerson
He actually gave birth to the kids to explain the way.
Addis Fouche
Wait, how old is your kid? Wait, wait, wait. Bobby how old is your kid?
Big J. Okerson
He's very progressive. He's worked very hard to lose the weight.
Robert Kelly
I'm laughing because that was so funny. But you're also saying it with your foot.
Jacob
Your leg.
Addis Fouche
Yeah. Why is your leg.
Big J. Okerson
I'm doing my Bobby pose. I like to show Addison I'm very flexible. In case we get into some weird
Robert Kelly
later on Thursday night.
Big J. Okerson
I'm also a gaper.
Robert Kelly
You're gonna be at the.
Addis Fouche
The Rosewood Theater.
Robert Kelly
The Rosewood Theater. With Ralph Sutton, Dante, Nero, a bunch of other. Fisher, Corinne Fisher. It's Thursday night, March 5th. Lust Files presents How to date a Porn Star. Get tickets@standupnewyork.com.com. jacob, you're gonna go.
Big J. Okerson
You have to go.
Jacob
Jacob, you might see me there.
Robert Kelly
Yes.
Big J. Okerson
You're going.
Robert Kelly
He's going.
Big J. Okerson
Your Laney's plus one.
Robert Kelly
You gotta go and tell us how to do it.
Big J. Okerson
Your Laney's plus one. Then you're gonna be on her list. You're gonna be on Laney's list for dated, dated and caned in the ass.
Robert Kelly
Big J. This weekend is going to be San Francisco, Friday and Saturday. Then Comedy Zone and Jackson. Jacksonville, March 13th and 14th. After that, Madison, Phoenix, Tempe, St. Louis. For tickets and all tour dates. BigJ. Comedy.com. and check out his YouTube page, YouTube.com bigjokerson Bobby Kelly's gonna be at the
Big J. Okerson
Verb in Somerville, New Jersey, March 19th. Comics Roadhouse, Mohegan, Sun, Connecticut. Roll it up April 17th and 18th. And after that, Uncle Vinny's in Jersey. Cleveland, Ohio, New Orleans. For all tickets and tour dates, go to punch up.live, robert Kelly and of course, his new YouTube channel at Robert Kelly comedy. And every Tuesday night, Fat Black pussy Get lounge the comedy. So reseller, check him out live.
Robert Kelly
Oh, that was a fun show, man.
Big J. Okerson
Thank you, Addis. Everybody make sure you go see your show. Go say hi to Jacob while you're there.
Addis Fouche
Yeah, please, if you can find him,
Big J. Okerson
Jacob, you're gonna be a hero there. Yeah, Jacob. Don't sneak up on her like that anymore, you piece of.
Robert Kelly
Hey, guys, if Jacob goes, I want you to carry him out at the end like a hero.
Jacob
Please.
Addis Fouche
I promise. I promise.
Big J. Okerson
Please. Jacob's gonna be a swinger. By the time at night's over, he's dating three porn stars.
Robert Kelly
All right, we'll see you guys tomorrow. It's the bonfire.
Big J. Okerson
Bubba Wallace here from 2311 Racing. You know what's slower than a pace car waiting at the car wash. That's when I fire up Jumba Casino it turns these slow minutes into fast fun. With new games every week, you'll never get bored. Next time you're stuck in the slow lane, speed up with Chumba. Play now@chumbacasino.com let's Chumba. No purchase necessary.
Robert Kelly
VGW Group Void where prohibited by law.
Thumbtack Announcer
CT AT and C's 21 sponsored by Jumbo Casino.
Robert Kelly
Hey, what's going on? I'm Robert Kelly.
Big J. Okerson
And I'm Big J. Okerson. Do you want to listen to episodes of the Bonfire ad free and a whole week early?
Robert Kelly
Well, the Bonfire is a member of SiriusXM's Podcast Plus.
Big J. Okerson
If you get a SiriusXM Podcast plus subscription, it opens you up to all kinds of benefits on so many SiriusXM shows and podcasts. Yeah.
Robert Kelly
So what are you waiting for?
Big J. Okerson
Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcast plus right now or visit siriusxm.com podcastplus right now.
Episode: "Date A Porn Star w/ Addis Fouche & Ralph Sutton"
Date: March 11, 2026
In this energetic and unfiltered episode, Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly are joined by adult film star Addis Fouche and longtime friend, heavy metal enthusiast, and podcast host Ralph Sutton. With their signature blunt humor, the crew dives deep into the realities—and misconceptions—of dating porn stars, prepping for their upcoming live show, How to Date a Porn Star, at the Rosewood Theater. The conversation is bold and hilarious, weaving together stories from inside and outside the adult industry, relationship advice, and playful ribbing that keeps the laughs coming.
[06:24] Addis Fouche: "I needed to have somebody who's failed so many times at dating a porn star. So he's our example of what not to do."
[07:01] Big J: "Does the answer how to date a porn star just pay, pay for it?"
Addis: "Yeah, yeah, actually... but yeah, actually like state a relationship with a porn star. That's what this is going to be about."
[09:31] Addis: "Guys... think that they want to date a whore because it's like such an ego boost. But then when you're actually dating a whore and you have to...reconcile with the fact that like other men find her lifestyle [attractive], that's where like the jealousy kicks in."
[13:15] Robert Kelly: "Yeah, but you have to be okay with that. That's one of the things. Dating a porn girl. You have to be okay with the fact that a bunch of dudes are gonna walk up while you're having dinner. 'Hey, I'm a big fan of your work.'"
[13:35] Addis: "At the end of the day, you're taking her home. So who's really won?"
[21:48] Big J: "No nipple biting. Ear licks or shitting on my chest."
[27:33] Addis: "People don't understand that, like, you know, porn stars, we're still like, people. Like, I was a person before."
[32:03] Addis: "No, but I have an ex-boyfriend who’s gay now."
[29:34] Addis: "There are a lot of people in the industry. I don't care if you live or die. I'm so serious. But, like, are you good to work with? Yes."
[35:45] Big J: "He took it to go." [36:30] Addis: "You want it to have more of a frozen yogurt kind of consistency."
[41:05] Addis: "Whoa. Who's that? Is that you?" [41:07] Robert: "Yes, that's me as a lifeguard."
[09:31] Addis Fouche: "Guys, I think that they want to date a whore because it's such an ego boost. But...when you're actually dating a whore...that's where the jealousy kicks in."
[13:15] Robert Kelly: "You have to be okay with that [her being recognized]."
[19:16] Addis Fouche: "I don't like it when people bite my nipples...I don't like when people put their tongue in my ear...but I'm okay if you put your finger in my butt."
[13:03] Bobby Kelly: "Guys would come up at the dinner table and say, oh, I love your work...I masturbate to you while I'm sitting having dinner with them."
[27:55] Addis Fouche: "[CPAP machine?] That's very X-Men to me."
[34:41] Addis Fouche: "He wanted me to shit on the floor so he could scoop it up in the newspaper and sniff it while he jerked off."
[29:34] Addis Fouche: "There are a lot of people in the industry. I don't care if you live or die. I'm so serious. But, like, are you good to work with? Yes."
[36:34] Addis Fouche: "I am."
[38:21] Addis Fouche: "This is for the guys, the girls, the gays, and the couples. Everybody."
The episode balances outrageous comedy with candid, insightful conversation about stigma, dating, and life in the adult industry. Addis Fouche’s wit and candor push the hosts out of their comfort zones, while Ralph Sutton’s legendary “failures” at dating porn stars become a running gag. Fans leave with a deeper understanding of the realities behind dating in adult entertainment—and more than a few gut-busting stories.
[Event Plug]
How to Date a Porn Star
Rosewood Theater, NYC | Thursday, March 5
Tickets: standupnewyork.com
For more from Big Jay & Bobby:
“At the end of the day, you're taking her home. So who's really won?”
– Addis Fouche [13:35]
(Summary prepared for listeners who want all the hilarity, insight, and key moments from The Bonfire’s “Date A Porn Star” episode—no filter, no filler.)