The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly

Episode: Disgusting Confessions
Date: August 19, 2025
Guests: Jim Norton, Christine, Jacob, Lou

Episode Overview

On this raucous episode of "The Bonfire," comedians Robert Kelly and Jim Norton (standing in as co-hosts) dive deep into a hilariously unfiltered roundtable of “disgusting confessions.” The conversation spirals from celebrity hotness debates to shockingly honest childhood hygiene habits and adult gross-outs—with witty banter, mocking, and brutal honesty throughout. Fans of outrageous, candid comedy will feel right at home as the crew reveals embarrassing stories, strange fascinations, and shameful secrets.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Judging Celebrity Attractiveness (01:09–13:00)

• Celebrity “Hot or Not” Lightning Round:

  • The panel gets off to a raucous start ranking the hotness of music and TV personalities—Joe Jackson, Melissa Etheridge, Carly Simon, Barbra Streisand, Delta Burke, Megan Mullally, and Debra Messing.
  • The hosts hilariously admit the hypocrisy of “two guys who are out of shape wouldn't take their shirt off in public if you paid us” critiquing women freely (03:36, Bobby Kelly).

• Memorable Quotes:

  • “I love... Barbra Streisand was hot for a minute. You know I like a big schnoz. I want to see the inside.” —Bobby Kelly (02:56)
  • “That's like saying something about the Virgin Mary. I wouldn't bear, man.” —Jim Norton, reacting to calling Barbra Streisand attractive (03:10)

• Recurring Themes:

  • Tear-down and defense of TV actresses (particularly on "Will & Grace").
  • Bobby’s type: “That glasses, the hair, the brunette. I love a brunette. You know, I'm not a fan of a redhead.” (11:01, Bobby Kelly)
  • Disputes over who aged better and who the real heartthrob was.

2. Childhood Disgusting Habits Revealed (14:25–23:45)

• Bobby’s Legendary Booger Confessions:

  • Bobby offers a graphic, extended account of his childhood nose-picking, booger eating and storage habits—explained with horrifying specificity and plenty of callbacks.
  • “I used to take them out and I'd hide them under the desk…let them get hard because I didn't want it too hard...then I'd have to put it in my mouth and wet it up again like clay.” (14:46, Bobby Kelly)
  • Jim Norton’s appalled-yet-encouraging prompts lead Bobby to ever more detailed booger anecdotes: “Can you do me a favor? Tell me about the texture of that one…when it would hit the tongue.” (17:45, Jim Norton)

• Booger Song Challenge:

  • Jim Norton jokes that Bobby should turn his booger routine into a song: “If you could turn this into a song, perhaps. You can make a lot of money, I think.” (18:47)

• Memorable Quote:

  • “If you could age a booger perfectly…what a salty little treat those can be.” —Bobby Kelly (29:41)

3. Room Confessions: Grossest Childhood Stories Circle (31:49–39:26)

• Around the Room:

  • Jim reveals he used to bite his toenails as a child.
    • “When I was a kid, I could bite my toenails off.” (31:56, Jim Norton)
  • Jacob admits to tearing and biting his fingernails down “to nubs.”
  • Christine confesses to questionable hygiene: “I would get my little bucket and shave my legs in front of the TV in the living room [as a kid].” (33:33, Christine)
  • Producers Lou & Black Lou discuss holding in bowel movements and creative solutions for massive poops—introducing the “shit knife” and poop snaking techniques.

• Notable Exchange:

  • “I never wanted to go to the bathroom. I would hold in poops for like a week.” —Lou (34:52)
  • “I had to get the shit knife and start cutting them up.” —Bobby Kelly, about dealing with his son's poops (35:17)

4. Adult Gross Habit Confessions & Debates (37:41–44:33)

• Pee Hygiene and More:

  • Discussion over whether it’s necessary to wash hands after peeing—referencing the Carlin bit and personal anecdotes.
    • “If I come down, I will high-five you immediately and not think I've done anything wrong whatsoever.” —Jim Norton (38:23)
  • Bobby confesses to wiping pee off the toilet seat with his sock.
    • “I used to use my sock to wipe it up.” (39:07)
    • Christine: “And then wear your sock around the house, yeah, just tracking piss.” (39:09)

• Conflicting Philosophies:

  • Christine and the guys debate if public sinks are actually cleaner than your genitalia.
  • “Do you still do it when no one's looking?” —Christine, prompting Bobby to admit he still sometimes wipes with his sock out of spite (40:10–40:17).

5. Tech and AI Partner Fantasies (40:37–41:51)

• AI Relationship Jokes:
  • The crew riffs on the future of AI companions—“Wait till you see our new place. Ani does. She's turned on by that.” —Bobby Kelly (40:33)
  • Gender and sexual orientation angles are played for laughs, with Christine teased about having an AI male partner in the future.

6. Hairy Women, Hygiene, and Shaming (43:08–44:33)

• Societal Standards:
  • Jacob laments seeing women with hairy legs/armpits, which prompts a round of comedic, quasi-misogynistic faux-outrage.
    • “If you're under 5 foot 10, you should be allowed to hit a woman if she does that.” —Jim Norton (43:57, obviously in jest)
    • Christine: “Go die alone. Go get a bucket and sit in your living room while you watch a show.” (43:39)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Double Standards:
  “This is about dudes judging women freely with no repercussions… Two guys who are out of shape wouldn't take their shirt off in public if you paid us.”
  —Bobby Kelly (03:28, 03:36)

• Graphic Confessions:
  “I used to take them out and I would hide them under the desk and let them…I would let them get hard because I didn't want it too hard because then you couldn't play with it. Then I'd have to put it in my mouth and wet it up again like clay.”
  —Bobby Kelly on boogers (14:46)

• On Childhood Booger Hoarding:
  “The best part was when you forgot about a booger somewhere and then you, like, remember it. You're like, oh, I have a booger in the living room...under the fireplace mantle. Oh, God.”
  —Bobby Kelly (30:14)

• Sock as Toilet Paper:
  “I used to use my sock to wipe it up.”
  —Bobby Kelly (39:07)
  “Then you'd wear your sock around the house, just tracking piss.”
  —Christine (39:09)

• On Hygiene Apathy:
  “I would get my little bucket and shave my legs in front of the TV in the living room [as a kid].”
  —Christine (33:33)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Hot or Not - Musicians/Actresses: 01:12–13:00
• Booger Confessions Deep Dive: 14:25–23:45
• Childhood Gross-Out Confessions Roundtable: 31:49–39:26
• Sock as Cleaning Tool/Adult Gross-outs: 39:07–40:17
• AI Partners and Future Fantasies: 40:37–41:51
• Hairy Women: Social Outrage & Shaming: 43:08–44:33

Tone & Style

Unrepentantly crass and brutally honest, the episode is high-energy, rapid-fire, and full of over-the-top imagery and callbacks. Bobby's graphic storytelling gets encouragement and mockery in equal measure from Jim and the rest of the crew, who take gleeful pleasure in one-upping each other with disgusting childhood and adult habits.

For Listeners…

Those who love no-filter comedy and don’t shy away from potty humor, bodily confessions, and skewering social double standards will find “Disgusting Confessions” a prime example of The Bonfire’s outrageous, intimate, and highly entertaining brand.