Embarrassing Patchy Growth

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Bonfire – "Embarrassing Patchy Growth"

Hosts: Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly
Date: January 1, 2026
Main Theme:
A raucous, freewheeling episode where Jay, Bobby, and crew riff on podcast logistics, live events, body grooming mishaps, and hysterically overshare about medical experiences, all wrapped in their signature blunt humor and riff-heavy camaraderie.

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Episode Overview

This episode finds Big Jay and Bobby adapting to changes at SiriusXM, prepping for an upcoming "fishbowl" live show, and diving deep into unfiltered (and sometimes TMI) comedy about aging, body hair, embarrassing grooming habits, wild medical procedures (including penis "gain waves"), and their enduring professional friendship. Episodes like this exemplify why The Bonfire stands out: it's comedians, totally unfiltered, riffing on real life with laughter as their only agenda.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

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1. Fishbowl Show and SiriusXM Podcast Woes

Timestamps: 01:05 – 05:55

• Christine announces their "fishbowl" live recording (01:16), prompting ribbing about office politics and the limits (literally—only 15 audience members allowed) imposed on their show.
• "How come black people don’t have more holidays?" - Bobby Kelly, as they riff on office attendance and holiday policies (02:47).
• The group jokes about why they get the small audience: "It’s because we’re always trying to be funny, right? And sometimes that takes us over the edge." – Bobby Kelly (03:17).
• Extended confusion and complaints over SiriusXM’s awkwardly plural "Podcasts Month"—"Who do we talk to about this? We should have been talked to about this as people who also have podcasts." – Christine (05:31).

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2. Body Brain Coffee & Mock Sponsorships

Timestamps: 06:03 – 08:26

• Bobby and Christine joke about not being paid shills for Body Brain Coffee... despite hyping it weekly.
  • “Go buy it so Lewis will become a millionaire and do another career.” – Bobby Kelly (07:08)
  • Christine’s mock exasperation: “My time is money, dude. Lewis, ball’s in your court. Throw me a monthly fee, I’ll start wearing Body Brain Coffee sweatshirts.” (07:17)

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3. Audience Selection for Live Shows

Timestamps: 08:44 – 10:00

• They wonder who will pick the fishbowl audience, with jokes about Jacob only choosing "all five foot one chicks… so he feels like a giant." (08:51)
• Suggestion to diversify the group (“Maybe a MILF, couple DILFs…” Christine, 09:14).

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4. Breakfast Food Rankings—The Great Pancake/French Toast Debate

Timestamps: 09:52 – 11:04

• Christine confesses she doesn’t “love” pancakes, sparking a playful hierarchy analysis of breakfast carbs.
  • “…If I go to a brunch place, I could forego pancakes. Easy. If there’s other things I like better.” – Christine (10:04)

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5. Behind-The-Scenes: Producer Lou, Drops, and Skank Fest Glory

Timestamps: 11:01 – 17:22

• Lou’s role as soundboard king gets praise and good-natured roasting.
  • “He’s the Charlie Kirk of boards.” – Bobby Kelly (14:05)
• The team reminisces about Skank Fest, pride in the festival, and outlandish on-stage rap battles (“The rap battle between you and Lewis was one of the funniest, greatest live comedy things I’ve ever seen.” – Bobby Kelly, 17:22).

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6. Jacob’s 'Guy Crushes' & Comedy Festival Brainstorms

Timestamps: 18:03 – 19:40

• They riff on Jacob’s open admiration for other male comics—a long-running joke—prompting even his nephews to confirm "he like falls in love with guys" (19:06).
• Plans for future Skank Fest live bits are floated, such as a live sitcom episode called "Jacob Loves Guys".

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7. Bobby's Wild Medical Experience: Gain Waves and Patchy Growth

Timestamps: 21:03 – 44:46

• The heart of the episode: Bobby shares his escapades at “Game Day” health clinic, involving treatments for elbow pain that transition into conversations about penis health and “gain waves” procedures.
  • On being offered a treatment to boost “morning wood”: “It just gives you morning wood… It helps with that. So I was like, oh great. So I went in and was like, hey man, this stuff isn’t really giving me morning wood like you said it would.” (23:13)
  • On the prospect of exposing himself for a “gain wave” penis procedure, while absolutely not having “groomed”:
    • “It’s a nest down there, like, it’s wild.” – Bobby Kelly (30:43)
    • “Should I go clean? Should I leave a little Hitler mustache?” – Bobby Kelly (38:04)
• Hilarious overshares about body hair:
  • “Mine right now looks what I think Edith Bunker’s would look like if you pulled her pants down.” – Bobby Kelly (31:15)
• Christine teaches her ritual: plinking her smooth balls against her asshole, “I let it drop into my asshole. I plinko it. It plink goes down my ass cheek folds.” (32:13)
• Discussion of "patchy growth"—the titular theme—a plight both hosts bemoan as older, heavier men.
  • “If I went in today, everybody would have saw patchy growth, and maybe that would have been my nickname. Patchy growth Kelly, and I don’t want that.” – Bobby Kelly (41:17)

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8. Fatherhood, Puberty, and Weird Razors

Timestamps: 35:00 – 36:48

• Bobby recounts his 12-year-old son Max starting to trim his own "fat patch" of pubes, leading to razor mix-ups.
  • “He’s got a fat patch... And he—I don’t know where he got it from, but one day he just trimmed it off... I gave him my manscape. This is yours. Don’t use my stuff.” (35:02)

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9. Sexual Tensions, Medical Procedures, and Overanalyzing “Appropriate” Boners

Timestamps: 43:07 – 53:06

• Bobby confesses canceling the “gain wave” procedure at the last minute due to not being – as the episode states – “medically presentable.”
  • “I literally ran out. I was like, I gotta go. I’m not gonna do it today. I gotta call my wife.” (43:07)
• Worried about possible arousal or even climax during the procedure:
  • “What if I like…what if I come?” – Bobby Kelly (43:18)
  • “But isn’t it…am I gonna get in trouble?...if she’s rubbing up and down on my thing?” (43:30)

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10. Rock & Roll Jeopardy & Jay’s “Superhero Power”

Timestamps: 53:27 – 57:16

• Jay boasts about his near-savant musical trivia skills, dominating VH1 Rock & Roll Jeopardy and subjecting friends and family to his unstoppable streak.
  • “You are a savant. You literally have autism with music.” – Bobby Kelly (55:13)
• Anecdotal tangent about childhood loneliness as the origin story for Jay’s encyclopedic knowledge—“This comes from just a lonely, chubby kid on the floor.” (55:48)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “For the Jews being slaves, they seem very against work.” – Christine (02:36)
• “My love for you is sickening. Oh, it’s sickening. Look at me. I wish I was your auntie. I wish you had a little me on your phone…” – Bobby Kelly (01:55)
• “You can go buy [Body Brain Coffee] so Lewis will become a millionaire and do another career and...get out of our lives completely.” – Christine (07:16)
• “It's called gain waves...and it goes on, and it breaks up scar tissue...It did help my tennis elbow...and they gave me a free thing.” – Bobby Kelly (22:08)
• “Should I go clean? Should I leave a little Hitler mustache?” – Bobby Kelly, debating how to trim for the procedure (38:04)
• “If I went in today, everybody would have saw patchy growth, and maybe that would have been my nickname. Patchy growth Kelly, and I don’t want that.” – Bobby Kelly (41:17)
• “You are a savant. You literally have autism with music.” – Bobby Kelly (55:13)

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Episode Flow & Tone

• Language/Tone: Completely unfiltered, gleefully profane, and riff-driven, perfectly displaying the dynamic of comics with no agenda but to crack each other up and overshare.
• Energy: Spirited, restless, and spontaneous, with frequent digressions that spiral from riff to real talk to absurd confessional.

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Time-Stamped Highlights

| Topic | Speaker(s) | Timestamp | |-------------------------------------|-----------------------|---------------| | Fishbowl show logistics | Christine, Bobby | 01:16 | | Holidays & office culture joke | Bobby, Christine | 02:47 | | Podcast/Spotify gripe | Christine, Producer Lou | 04:13 | | Coffee mock-sponsorship | Christine, Bobby | 06:24 | | Audience selection riff | Christine, Bobby | 08:44 | | Pancake/french toast debate | Christine, Bobby | 09:52 | | Lou’s “Charlie Kirk” drop skills | Bobby | 14:05 | | “Gain waves”/medical overshare | Bobby | 21:03 | | Arguing over “patchy growth” | Bobby, Christine | 41:17 | | Boner/nurse procedure anxiety | Bobby | 43:18 | | Musical trivia, Rock & Roll Jeopardy| Jay, Bobby, Christine | 53:27 |

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Final Thoughts

If you want an episode that distills everything The Bonfire is about—raunchy, fearless, honest, and deeply silly, with surprising depths of friendship—“Embarrassing Patchy Growth” is a perfect entry. It’s less about structure than about letting practiced comics be their most idiotic, hilarious selves, and somehow ending up discussing the true meaning of pride (in one's children, friends, and even patchy pubic hair).

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Transcript

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[Christine]

And now the bonfire with Big J.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okerson and Robert Kelly. God, he's good.

[Christine]

Oh, get excited Everybody, because Monday, October 6th. Oh. One day before my little girl turns 23 years old.

[Bobby Kelly]

God damn, Christine.

[Christine]

No. I wish. God, I wish.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Next Monday, October 6th, 2:30pm on a very special time, we're doing a pre record in the fishbowl. Our first time in the fishbowl for our show.

[Bobby Kelly]

I. I feel bad about that.

[Christine]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

You should have been in the fishbowl years ago.

[Christine]

What? What do you mean?

[Bobby Kelly]

Like with Dan, with the show.

[Christine]

They like us. Everyone loves the show. Better with you, dude. And that's why we're getting these opportunities.

[Bobby Kelly]

You mean.

[Christine]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

I. My love for you is sickening. Oh, it's sickening. Look at me. I wish I was your auntie. I wish you had a little me on your phone that you could turn on late at night when Christine goes to bed.

[Christine]

Hey, Jay.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hey. Is that bitch finally asleep? Hey, Jay, Are you in the jacuzzi or are you in the pool? I'm in there with you. Ah, Jay, could you get one of those bento box desserts and rub it all over your chest?

[Christine]

I gotta tell you something. Christine got. Yeah?

[Bobby Kelly]

Is Jacob doing a Jewish thing again?

[Christine]

Probably. Is he really?

[Christine's Friend]

Yeah. Young.

[Christine]

Another Jewish thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

You say yum.

[Ad Voice]

Is it yum?

[Christine's Friend]

Is it yum? Kippur. Am I saying it right? Yum Kipper.

[Bobby Kelly]

I say yummy. Yummy.

[Christine]

For the Jews being slaves, they seem very against work.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's true.

[Christine]

Muff on ghoul black. You're here, but you are the second most absent two slaves. The Jews and the blacks.

[Bobby Kelly]

How come black people don't have more holidays?

[Christine]

They know. Well, they gave us New Juneteenth. And now I think you take off Columbus Day, too, because that him. Um, yes. Our first show in the fishbowl, we 15 people allowed in now. I thought that was fucked up. Cause every time I see Kirk Franklin right now, there's some salsa chick out there in the room, which I can't believe DJ Lou's nose ain't pressed up against the fishbowl right now. There's people all out in the hall. Why? Why is this. Why are we. Again I asked. Getting fucked. We could only have 15 people because.

[Bobby Kelly]

Of what we say. Yeah. Cause we're always trying to be funny, right? And sometimes that takes us over the edge.

[Christine]

And that's not appropriate for the lobby of office building. So I agree with them. Fifteen people is plenty. We will have you in the fishbowl with us where we can say whatever the fuck we want. And it's gonna get crazy in that fishbowl. Make the. We're gonna say things in there. It's gonna make the people outside wonder what the fuck we're saying.

[Bobby Kelly]

They're gonna draw the curtains because you're gonna eat my box.

[Christine]

They're probably gonna have to draw curtains because. Yeah, because Bobby might show. Asshole. I don't know. Depends how good the interview with Marcus King is going to be. He's gonna be performing too, right? Marcus? Yeah, he's gonna play, right?

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, that's good.

[Christine]

Oh, I'm so excited about. I want him to do it that song again. It's too late again, because there. I can't. There's no more. Doesn't exist on YouTube anymore.

[Christine's Friend]

Oh, really?

[Christine]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why?

[Christine]

I don't have no idea. He played it when he came in the first time to perform.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right.

[Christine]

And fuck it, it was so all. It was on YouTube for the longest time. Now it's gone. We're also. Are we fixed Spotify yet?

[Producer Lou]

We have not the. Working on it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Who you personally?

[Producer Lou]

No, no, no.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is there a team?

[Producer Lou]

There's a team working.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, we took an elevator up to a high floor to get here.

[Christine]

Wasn't the big thing that we were going to be a podcast now.

[Producer Lou]

Well, we are a podcast on Apple. It's just.

[Christine's Friend]

Yeah, we're a podcast everywhere except Spotify.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why? What is the. What's the deal?

[Christine's Friend]

It's just a music thing. It's not. It's not.

[Christine]

We play music.

[Christine's Friend]

They think it's like, oh, they're pulling off Spotify.

[Christine]

You know, get Sirius xm, right? You can get all the music, get the app. You can listen to a bunch of podcasts. Do not just ours. If you. If you hate hearing the whole show so much, can you wait, let me get. Sign up for the chance to attend at Sirius xm.com/and buckle up for this bullshit. SiriusXM.com podcasts month.

[Bobby Kelly]

What?

[Christine]

Podcasts.

[Ad Voice]

How many?

[Bobby Kelly]

How many S's?

[Christine]

Just one too many.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is it a. Why is it not singular? It's our podcast.

[Christine]

Podcast. Well, it's podcast month over here. I promise you it's not called Podcasts Month, but for some reason, the URL does seem.

[Bobby Kelly]

Podcasts month.

[Christine]

That's what all the thing says.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, that's stupid. God.

[Christine]

Can we get Jim in here? I know he's in the building. Who do we talk to about this? We should have been talked to about this as people who also have podcasts.

[Bobby Kelly]

We need an earlier show to talk to people.

[Christine]

Huh?

[Bobby Kelly]

We need an earlier show to talk to people.

[Christine]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Talk to people.

[Christine]

All that's here is salsa in the fishbowl.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, we got salsa in the. And that Ukraine dude out the front that stopped you dead in your tracks yesterday.

[Christine]

Go around. I don't care where you go, but go around.

[Bobby Kelly]

I used to like you yesterday. Now I like this other guy.

[Christine]

Lily Tomlinson is here.

[Bobby Kelly]

What a dumb name for a guy.

[Christine]

Lily Tomlinson. Billy Tomlins. Big comfy couches here.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm gonna say something right now, and this is a shout out to our friend. I'm drinking Doc. Dr. Lou. That's his new name for me, Dr. Lou. Because every day he has.

[Christine]

He's your wellness doctor?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, he's my wellness doctor. Dr. Lou. Because now he's healthy for a year, he gets me a body brain coffee. Hot every day. It's like drinking butter. It's so good.

[Christine]

I'm gonna lay it out right now here. And everybody out there, please go drink body brain coffee. I'm saying it one last time.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Christine]

And I'm not saying it again. And I'll tell you why. I don't even get the benefit of coffee. I don't enjoy coffee, and I hear this coffee is fantastic, but it's going to taste like coffee. So if you don't like that taste, you're not going to like coffee. It's pretty good, but I want everyone to buy it. But I'm not saying I don't get money benefits from promoting it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Neither do I.

[Christine]

Right, but you get coffee, neither do.

[Bobby Kelly]

The regs, and we Promote it every week. You get coffee, I get coffee.

[Christine]

You love that coffee.

[Bobby Kelly]

I settle down. I do have a Starbucks to my left.

[Christine]

Okay, circumstantial.

[Bobby Kelly]

Let's not get carried away. I paid for that one. But that one, Lou Gotts. I didn't pay nothing. But it is great coffee. But go ahead with your point. You want everybody to buy it. Everybody go buy it so that Lewis will become a millionaire and do another career and we.

[Christine]

Oh, sure, listen. The end game is that it gets out of our lives completely. However, in the short term, I'm not going to say body brain coffee 7,000 times when I don't drink coffee or get money for it. My time is money, dude. Lewis, ball's in your court. Throw me a monthly fee, I'll start wearing Body Brain Coffee sweatshirts.

[Bobby Kelly]

Lewis told me to give you this. He told me to give it to Christine because she handles all the money.

[Christine]

How much is it?

[Christine's Friend]

$1.

[Christine]

$1?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yep.

[Christine]

Try body Brain Coffee now with Tom Ket Ali.

[Christine's Friend]

You just have an overall Body Brain sponsorship deal.

[Christine]

Yeah, I'll take it. Overall. Yeah. Big joker, start lacing me up in Body Body Brain clothing. Give me something.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, they should. He should. But the amount of money he's made already, he should come back and go, hey, guys, I want to throw a little, a little bit your way for in sponsor. So I got money now. Now here's some cash.

[Christine]

He keeps informing me when he gets that little ding on his phone, that means Body Brain Coffee has been sold.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's annoying.

[Christine]

I'm not getting a penny of that. Ding, ding. Body Brain Coffee ding. Oh, ads are working. Ding. SiriusXM.com podcast go back to it, please.

[Bobby Kelly]

He has to read it.

[Christine]

SiriusXM.com podcasts month p o D C A S T S Month. Podcasts month.

[Christine's Friend]

That's the name of the event.

[Christine]

I know.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do we.

[Christine]

They've made a mistake across the board is what I'm saying.

[Bobby Kelly]

Who's picking the people? Is Jacob picking the people? Or do we get to pick the people or the people? Just the first come, first serve.

[Christine]

Oh. If it's gonna be Jacob, it's gonna be all five foot one chicks.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's gotta be unattainable girls.

[Christine]

No, because they're all gonna be little midgets. So he feels like a giant. He's gotta feel like a big man in there. So it's gonna be all tiny, tiny women. I'd like to pick a couple varying levels of fitness.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'd like to pick a couple.

[Christine]

I. I like to be surprised I'd like a little.

[Bobby Kelly]

Maybe a 1 milF with little cancer, freckles on her boobs, cleavage hanging out.

[Christine]

Couple DILFs, no doubt.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Holy shit. A couple DILFs. SiriusXM podcasts month for your chance to sit in studio with us, Marcus King and 14 other people who look just like you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why is it 14 or 15?

[Christine]

14 others. I'm talking to an individual person in this hypothetical.

[Bobby Kelly]

Gotcha.

[Christine]

So there'll be one of 15, but.

[Bobby Kelly]

Including that there's 14 people.

[Christine]

I'm telling you, there's 14. I don't include them in the 15.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's pretty smart of you.

[Christine]

I work backwards.

[Bobby Kelly]

You do work backwards.

[Christine]

I like to work backwards sometimes.

[Bobby Kelly]

You like memento?

[Christine]

Do you know what I love?

[Bobby Kelly]

You love chocolate. You love pancakes. Okay, go ahead. Sorry.

[Christine]

I like pancakes.

[Bobby Kelly]

You don't love pancakes?

[Christine]

No. I would seek them out more if I loved them.

[Bobby Kelly]

You like. You don't like in the morning pancakes, Waffles?

[Christine]

Sure. But I can. If I go to a brunch place, I could forego pancakes. Easy. If there's other things I like better.

[Bobby Kelly]

Really?

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Like what do you. If you're gonna do a pastry, like a pancake.

[Christine]

French toast.

[Bobby Kelly]

French toast. Challah. French toast.

[Christine]

Wait, you're asking? I thought I was giving examples. You've seen the pancake, the waffle, the French toast.

[Bobby Kelly]

French toast. Or like, like a Danish, A good pastry.

[Christine]

Pancake.

[Bobby Kelly]

You do pancake?

[Christine]

French toast is pretty awesome. French toast is pretty awesome. If it's done well.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

French toast is between pancake and French toast. Give me a minute. Deafening silence. Please, if we could. For three full minutes. Christine, please. I'm trying to think. Deafening sounds for three full minutes. Unprecedented in radio.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know if you've heard the Opie Show.

[Christine]

What? Doesn't matter. Lou can't stop typing over there with his jittery fingers.

[Producer Lou]

Alarm will go off if I. If we do have more than 10 seconds of silence.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wait a minute.

[Ad Voice]

What?

[Christine]

Is that true?

[Bobby Kelly]

Are they listening to us?

[Producer Lou]

If we have too much silence, we go off the air and an alarm sounds.

[Christine]

An alarm.

[Producer Lou]

Not in this room. We won't be able to hear it, but in the room over there called Bnock. An alarm will sound.

[Bobby Kelly]

If everybody dies in the room they know. Is it, like, for safety?

[Christine]

I want somebody to come barreling in here and be like. And we're like. We're thinking, leave it alone, bro.

[Bobby Kelly]

We're thinking, can we go back on the air or is that it?

[Christine]

That's it, dude. We're fired. If you don't talk every 10 seconds. We're fired.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you know how bad I want to try that to test that?

[Christine]

I'd love to know it.

[Producer Lou]

Well, you know what? This room is so loud, it's impossible to have silence.

[Christine]

Oh, that's right. The building's always rocking.

[Bobby Kelly]

And there's a woman.

[Christine]

Christine's always got a little giggle coming out, sort of.

[Bobby Kelly]

There's a vagina in the room. They can't keep it shut.

[Christine]

We don't know if we had a real heavy, like live mic in front of Christine. She's always vibrating at that laugh. It's just if it comes out or not. If you go, I listen sometimes dark.

[Bobby Kelly]

And when it's quiet. Quiet in the dark.

[Christine]

And she's like going.

[Bobby Kelly]

That'S right. That's why Dawkins can't sleep. His head's always going up.

[Christine]

Absolutely. It's a girl dog, though. I just looked at her yesterday.

[Bobby Kelly]

How was it?

[Christine]

It's still beefy as.

[Bobby Kelly]

Any freckles, huh? What?

[Christine]

Freckles? No, but she does have like dalmatian style spots on her very thin belly hair. So. Yes, there are spots. It looks like she has a vitiligo pussy.

[Bobby Kelly]

I like a vigoligo.

[Christine]

Vitiligo, Vigiligo. Vitiligo.

[Bobby Kelly]

Vitiligo.

[Christine]

Vitiligo.

[Bobby Kelly]

Vitiligo. Vitiligo. That word's now in your vocabulary. No, it's not. Try it again.

[Christine]

What's the word?

[Bobby Kelly]

Vitiligo.

[Christine]

Nailed it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Did I?

[Christine]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Try it again.

[Christine]

What's the word?

[Bobby Kelly]

Vitiligo.

[Christine]

There it is.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jay, you're such a teacher.

[Christine]

And now you have that in your. That's your thing. And that's a disease where people are partially white, partially, you know, spotted cow, Michael Jackson face disease.

[Bobby Kelly]

Dude, what if I get so smart from you that I wind up writing a book and it's successful and then I just become a writer?

[Christine]

I would love that you become a full blown author.

[Bobby Kelly]

Who the said that?

[Christine]

That's the greatest drop ever. That's when Jacob doesn't believe you. Give it to him. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay. That scared me.

[Christine]

What was the first thing I. What was the first time you used the lou? It was it destroyed. We're on zoom Covid.

[Producer Lou]

I think it was.

[Christine]

It was. It was on zoom for sure. We were in 606 apartment for sure. We were in separate rooms. It may have even been while Christine was batshit. But it really broke everybody up. It was so funny. I said something that just was like an obvious, like. I don't Know if it was a lie or an exaggeration or something I said. And he hit the.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

And every first I looked at Jacob with genuine anger. Your problem, dude. And it was so fake, man.

[Producer Lou]

It caught us something like, I. I think it was UJ And I'm.

[Christine]

It was me. It was. It was something I said.

[Producer Lou]

I think it was something like, yeah, I'm gonna start to eat healthier now.

[Christine]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was so basic that it wasn't that big a deal. Goes. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Or, you know, I'm gonna quit smoking. Some kind of thing like that.

[Bobby Kelly]

What freaks me out. Right? Because it really did affect me like, that. I was like, who the. Why? It really did make me insecure when he did. How fast Lou is on that board is I. I mean, mind boggling. He's the Charlie Kirk of boards.

[Christine]

Oh, my God. What? Don't say that. Oh, my God. Well, I was saying how much I love vitiligo. Vitiligo. You nailed it again.

[Bobby Kelly]

You God damn. Now, if you can get me to say floranthropist, that'd be a good one.

[Christine]

But that's not a word.

[Bobby Kelly]

Florant. The people that give money to people.

[Christine]

Philanthropists.

[Bobby Kelly]

That one.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Philanthropist Phil.

[Christine]

Phil Lan lan Thropist.

[Bobby Kelly]

Throw pist.

[Christine]

Phil. Phil Lan lan Thropist.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thropist.

[Christine]

Philanthropist Philo Lopez. I'm frustrated now. This is why I'm not a good teacher. No, she's right. This is what happened. I'm good. I have a good idea. I'm like this. You're gonna get on the first shot when I give this.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

If you don't get it on the first shot, I'm frustrated.

[Bobby Kelly]

Shitty stepdad.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Christine's Friend]

Throwing shit.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's like, does he stupid?

[Christine]

No, no, no, no. But I was. Yeah. I did a lot of Isabella's, like.

[Bobby Kelly]

Christine's a professional ducker.

[Christine]

Yeah, she's really good. Her bob and weave is nice. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

She knows kung fu from you.

[Christine]

Her footwork is garbage, but her head movement is top notch. I love Wednesdays because I tend to look down at the list and we've done three of our four shows of the week.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

And we've discussed none of this.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, none of the stuff.

[Christine]

There's so much great shit and there's so much great shit on here. How have we celebrated Lou's year of sobriety? Yeah, we gave him gifts. We showed him a. Gifts and sweets.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Affection, love, high fives. Hugs and handshakes.

[Bobby Kelly]

I did get a little emotional when you. When you gave him the chip. And that was very sweet of you, what you said.

[Christine]

I didn't mean it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah, I know you didn't mean it.

[Producer Lou]

Obviously, you're mocking me for tearing up.

[Bobby Kelly]

Actually, we wrote it before we came on. You had me punch it up a little bit. It was a lot longer.

[Christine]

Because what you said, to lose so emotional. I didn't mean a word of it. Theater, the mind, showmanship.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was good to see you proud of somebody. I never really see that.

[Christine]

I have a daughter who's very proud of.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't see you be proud of.

[Christine]

Her, but I speak about her, and she's great. She's funny and, man, I know.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's just nice to see you be proud of somebody.

[Christine]

I just. I've been proud of my daughter plenty of times.

[Bobby Kelly]

All right. Well, nobody. I'd never seen it.

[Christine]

I'm proud of Christine every year at Skank Fest. What they pull off, I've never seen it. Well, I know because it's not an outward heavy. Proud of her because a lot of it I take as my own doing. I'm like, sure, you did all the fucking bells and whistles, the numbers. But at the end of the day, they're coming for the show.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, can I say something? It's true. There's no sky. Take J. At a Skank Fest, you have just a fest.

[Christine]

Don't say that out loud. Louis will challenge that. Although I would take the challenge, I wouldn't. You be curious to see what Skank Fest is without you.

[Bobby Kelly]

You do a Skank fest. One year without Louis, one year without you, and see the numbers.

[Christine]

They book a beast lineup.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. It's crazy. No matter what, take me or Christine and Rebecca do.

[Christine]

Absolutely.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

They do a beast lineup.

[Bobby Kelly]

Proud of you.

[Christine]

Regardless of me or Lewis being there, so. But the thing is, it's called Skank Fest. I mean, we are the figureheads.

[Bobby Kelly]

Those shows are the most epic shows. The rap battle between you and Lewis was one of the funniest, greatest live comedy things I've ever seen. I mean, because it was good. Here's the difference. It could be funny.

[Ad Voice]

That's great.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was good. I was watching it, like, go, Jay. I felt like Eminem's, you know, A Little Black Friend.

[Christine]

Yeah, man.

[Bobby Kelly]

You got it and you had it.

[Christine]

That was fun. Yeah, that was very fun. Yeah. The shows are crazy. We gotta start, figure out what we're doing for Skank Festival shows this year.

[Bobby Kelly]

We'll get it done.

[Christine]

We always get something done.

[Bobby Kelly]

We have something and they can. We'll.

[Christine]

We'll. We'll. Well, no, I mean, First Legion of Skanks.

[Bobby Kelly]

We always do like a big talk about this show.

[Christine]

This show is always a home run.

[Bobby Kelly]

It is.

[Christine]

We set Jacob loose, and now that we know he's got his. His. He's honing his skills and getting plenty of rest. Since he never comes to work anymore.

[Bobby Kelly]

We were thinking of doing a live Jacob. Live sitcom episode of Jacob Loves Guys. Yeah, that'd be fun.

[Christine]

I do think it's very fun.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. And we have the actual people who he loves. If they're there.

[Christine]

Oh, they're there.

[Bobby Kelly]

On the. On the.

[Christine]

All the guys are there.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's the final episode.

[Christine]

That's when Jacob walks out and turns off the light.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

And walks out with. Who's it going to be? Tim Butterly. Shane. When I saw.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not.

[Christine]

What's funny. Jacob's. I forgot to say Jacob's nephews. When we had him with Shane this weekend when we were in that room there, I. Me and Shane really started doing it. It's like, you know, Jacob, he loves Tim Buttery now. He's moved on. But all of his guys have moved to Austin. Like all the guys he loves. He loves guys. And Shane was like, your uncle does love guys. And both nephews were like, no, he does. He like falls in love with guys.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's crazy. That's nuts.

[Christine]

He loves guys. He loves. He loves. But he doesn't. I don't think he even sort of likes Dick.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, but he loves guys. He loves guys, Man. There's something about guys loves guys. Meltor maybe wrong first episode, third season song.

[Christine]

But we have so much fun stuff here.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can I talk to you about something that happened to me today?

[Christine]

You can. The stupid piece of paper. Anything on here.

[Bobby Kelly]

Something happened.

[Christine]

Waste everyone's goddamn time if you ask me. Please, Bobby.

[Bobby Kelly]

I called you, but you didn't answer. Because I wasn't in the queue.

[Christine]

Well, no, but I don't answer. You are in the queue if I answer. You're not in the queue. I'm talking to you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. No, but you didn't. You didn't. I hate when I call you at prime. I know. J times. I figured out J times.

[Christine]

Go on.

[Bobby Kelly]

And I. I waited till prime J time.

[Christine]

What was it?

[Bobby Kelly]

11:35?

[Christine]

Night day.

[Bobby Kelly]

Morning.

[Christine]

Today. Yeah. Oh, you. You did. You called exactly during Skanks.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, skanks. Oh, it was today.

[Christine]

We do 11 to 12:30 most Wednesdays on Zoom.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, I didn't know that. I was wrong with J time. I thought it was you waking up, going out, looking at your pool, patting yourself on the back.

[Christine]

I was already working.

[Bobby Kelly]

I did it, kid. And then going back in and yelling at Christine, where's my coffee? I don't drink coffee. Put that away.

[Christine]

And I still do say things to Christine. It's pretty funny. I'll be like, yo, I own that tree.

[Bobby Kelly]

I do that, too. I look in the back, I go, I own that rock wall. I own a slave wall.

[Christine]

Power washed. They got a power wash yesterday. It was awesome.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I love owning trees and rocks.

[Christine]

It seems ridiculous. Like, buddy, wait. I own this thing, dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

When I bought the land in New Hampshire, there's a big, huge glacier rock in my backyard. And I just sat on it and I smoked a pipe like a douche. And I was like, this is my rock.

[Christine]

My rock Bob Rock.

[Bobby Kelly]

Bob rock. So I called you this morning. I had to go to game day. Shout out, Game day.

[Christine]

Shout out, Game day.

[Bobby Kelly]

Great place. You want to do some tea? You want to get on it quick and easy.

[Christine]

Do you want it all done by chicks who sort of flirt with you?

[Ad Voice]

My Lord.

[Bobby Kelly]

And I'm glad you brought that up. So I went in.

[Christine]

I'm pretty sure I could bang the practitioner, the girl at the front desk.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, there's something.

[Christine]

We're on hugging levels. I've been there three times.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I'm on it. I was almost on a different level today. It was hug buddy. I went in two months ago. Three months ago, I went in and I had a tennis elbow, and they gave me something called gain waves.

[Christine]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

And it. They basically rub. They put a cream on your arm, and they rub the area. And I think it's. I'm not quite sure, but it's electric current going through.

[Christine]

Paco's making a face like, this is some hippity gibbity. And he believes in all kinds of mysticism.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I know his grandmother pulls chicken gizzards out of people's stomach with no scar.

[Christine]

Goddamn right.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then heals Kalima and spits blood in their face.

[Christine]

Absolutely.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's gain waves. It's. It's an actual thing, and it goes on, and it. It breaks up scar tissue. And it did help my tennis elbow, and I went in, and they gave me a free thing.

[Christine]

And how do you know you're. It helped it. You're. You're for.

[Bobby Kelly]

Because it's a form.

[Christine]

Damn it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Forehand.

[Christine]

Forehand came back.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, it's all right, dude. You're not a tennis guy yet.

[Christine]

Strange, because I also have suffered from tennis elbow.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, you get it from lifting, right? Because we don't stretch.

[Christine]

I got it pretty rough. We were playing basketball regularly. Something happened.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's the worst.

[Christine]

And it felt like. It was like. Yeah, like run down, like, whole arm almost.

[Bobby Kelly]

So. So they brought me. They brought me in the room. They did this thing. Blah, blah, blah. So I. I think I told you about it a month and a half ago. I went in and they were like, I'm taking sir cereal. I don't know what the foil. Some peptide that's supposed to help you sleep better, help you, you know, achieve better. You know, help with visceral fat, help with other stuff. This peptide. And. And it helps you. It's supposed to help you with your wiener.

[Christine]

You're supposed to have thick, thick fucking white loads.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it just gives you morning wood. It gets you. Your. Your sex drive is a little. It helps with that. So I was like, oh, great. So I went in and I was like, hey, man, this stuff isn't really giving me morning wood like you said it would. Like, I was kind of excited that I was gonna start waking up.

[Christine]

Yeah, let me see.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, he. He literally said every day.

[Christine]

Hey, watch this. I could do this thing where I have a piece of spit stick from my tongue to the tip of your wiener. How's your morning wood now, huh? After the morning wood?

[Bobby Kelly]

That's because you're using the peptide with a needle. I'm supposed to push it in your pee hole with my mouth.

[Christine]

Don't be weirded. I'm your doctor.

[Bobby Kelly]

So I went in today and he's like, they do gain waves. He's like, you could do it on your penis.

[Christine]

Guy told you that?

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, the guy who runs it. Well, you know, he's my guy. He's a cool guy. But the.

[Christine]

The woman game day hasn't spoken about my penis to me once. And I gotta be honest with you, Bobby. I think you're gonna get raped by a doctor. They haven't mentioned a word about my penis.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, the lady who does it, the nurse practitioner, is a Russian woman. Redheaded Russian woman.

[Christine]

Size queen. Got it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Kind of cute, right? You know. You know, you. She comes in, do you want to me beat you off? I do the gain waves on your penis.

[Christine]

Electric.

[Bobby Kelly]

Beat you off. So it help you with the. You know, it helps you with the circulation and.

[Christine]

Yes. Big, big fat boners.

[Bobby Kelly]

So I'm literally talking to her and she's. She's talking to me about doing this gain waves on my penis middle. And he's like, I'll give you a deal. You can go to the first one for free and blah, blah, blah. And as she's talking to me about what it does, I, I'm, I'm, I'm kind of trying not to fill up because it's kind of arousing me because, you know, I haven't had my penis touched.

[Christine]

I grabbed it at base and I tickled up.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I'm gonna have to take my dick out in some building, which is kind of hot.

[Christine]

Duh.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know what I mean? There's insurance companies, all kinds of other stuff. And just me on the third floor in a building looking out at a Starbucks and a Target and somebody's, you know, gain waving my penis, dude.

[Christine]

Just getting beat off by electric waves.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I'm thinking Russian lady. I know what she did to my elbow and arm. If she's gonna do that, like fix.

[Christine]

Your dick the same way, there's no.

[Bobby Kelly]

Way I'm not gonna get a hard on, right? No way.

[Christine]

No, you're fine.

[Bobby Kelly]

So. And she's gonna rub this stuff up and down my penis.

[Christine]

Doctors never make mistakes, dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

So she's doctors, right? No, she's nurse practice. Interesting.

[Christine]

So never heard of this before, but let her do it.

[Bobby Kelly]

She'd not take the Hippocratic oath.

[Christine]

Let her try.

[Bobby Kelly]

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Guess what?

[Ad Voice]

This year I'm letting go of resentment.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's a big one because I got.

[Ad Voice]

A lot of them.

[Bobby Kelly]

I hold them like tickets and then when you cross me, I stick it in your face. But I'm done.

[Ad Voice]

I'm letting it go. A new year is a new opportunity to feel lighter.

[Bobby Kelly]

And you don't have to become a.

[Ad Voice]

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[Bobby Kelly]

She goes, I'll go prepare the room. Yes. Because he loves it. He listens to the show. He's like, do it for a bit. It'd be a great bit.

[Christine]

Totally.

[Bobby Kelly]

So I'm like thinking of you. Jay would love it if I go in and do this and all right, let's set it up. I'm gonna do it. And he goes, okay. And then I go, what else I gotta do? He goes, well, you have to use this penis pump twice a week. And I'm like what?

[Christine]

You heard him.

[Bobby Kelly]

So he pulls out this really? I mean, you know, does it have.

[Christine]

The bulb on there?

[Bobby Kelly]

He goes, it's a medical grade penis pump. This is high end. This is legit. This is not like some shitty, the.

[Christine]

Lamborghini of penis pumps.

[Bobby Kelly]

It is, it is nice, right? And he pulls. Apparently I get this too. And it's supposed to give you maybe growth. You get. Your penis will get not taller, but wider.

[Christine]

Okay.

[Bobby Kelly]

And it'll, the function will be good. The scar tissue, if there is any in your penis, which happens why? Because of bending it or the blood. You scar tissue over time on, you know, Things because your thing fills up and, you know, pushing it in or bending it or, you know, plant, you. You'll build up scar tissue around corners. I wish I could. No, that's what happens, you dick. When you get a curve in your dick.

[Christine]

It's called Peyronie's disease. Yeah, that's exactly what heavily explored on the show. Early days.

[Bobby Kelly]

Exactly, Perona. That's exactly scar tissue. So I'm like, okay, great. And then the girl who takes the blood is this smoking hot Spanish girl.

[Christine]

Nice.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, just hot.

[Christine]

I think she's singing salsa right now in the fishbowl. So she goes, there's no money in salsa.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's like, okay, I'm going to sit up to the room. I'm like, okay, great. And I could feel like, like me edging. I can feel like the. The top of my penis slithering around because I'm getting so excited. This is going to be awesome. And then she goes, I'm going to get whatever her name is. I got to get her. She's. She's going to hotter woman. She's going to shadow me. She has to learn, so she will. And I'm.

[Christine]

No, what are you talking about? Dude, that's so cool. One girl's gonna watch another girl beat you off. Nah, dude, I don't mind Electric glove.

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't. Here's the thing is I didn't prepare anything.

[Christine]

She should have smoked a joint.

[Bobby Kelly]

So at the. No, dude, I didn't trim. You know what I mean? It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a.

[Christine's Friend]

It's a.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's a nest down there. Like, it's wild down there. You should be like.

[Christine]

You girls mind if I get myself going a little bit first? Kiss each other. But I think, I think Shadower, but like front, face to face. Shadower.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's. It's just crazy. My hair. Like, I would. If I knew I was gonna do this. Your hair, I would have. I would have showered more. Like scrubbed and trimmed everything, made it nice and you know what I mean?

[Christine]

I'd say my balls are always fucking prepared for a game day health. Pair of girls going down and sucking my balls and dick.

[Bobby Kelly]

Mine right now looks what I think Edith Bunkers would look like if you pulled her pants down.

[Christine]

Oh, really?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I just.

[Christine]

Just you let it go wild.

[Bobby Kelly]

I just. Because I. I haven't.

[Christine]

You know what? I don't do that ever. Because I trim it for me. You know what I mean? It's gotta be about yourself. Your Own self care.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know you're right. And I. And I don't.

[Christine]

And I wack off. Even I like super smooth balls when I reach down and grab my bag and juggle them around a little bit. Super smooth.

[Bobby Kelly]

That is one of the zestiest things I've ever heard you say.

[Christine]

Well, you understand there. I'm talking about a hotel jerk. You know what I mean? Where you're laying on the bed.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I know how to jerk in the hotel. I never go down to my balls.

[Christine]

Never? No. Oh. Sometimes when I go wide leg. I love this. As I get older, I feel my ball. One of my actual beans like taps my asshole a little bit. And I find that very. So then sometimes I'll grab the middle of the bag. Are you dry rain. Can I please finish this?

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm just trying to get the info as you go.

[Christine]

Please.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's making me uncomfortable.

[Christine]

And I'll grab the bag and I'll stretch the bag up. I'll hold my wiener out of the way at this point, move the bag up and then release the bag and see if one of the balls taps the asshole again.

[Bobby Kelly]

How. I don't know if this is all right.

[Christine]

What's got you confused, Bob?

[Bobby Kelly]

I just masturbate in a hotel. I've never tried that. Not to say that I'm against it, but I've never pinched my balls up and then drop them like a water balloon on my own.

[Christine]

You're letting your balls get all kinds of hairy. If it was all crazy hairy in there, I assume my asshole and balls would never touch either.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't have hair.

[Christine]

I have little hair. I'm sure I have hair in my ass cracker a little bit.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's not fingering my asshole.

[Christine]

Who?

[Bobby Kelly]

The lady's just gonna see my bush fat and my.

[Christine]

Right. But my balls are always shaved.

[Bobby Kelly]

But my. I'm. It's not my balls I'm worried about. It's. I don't have a hairy sack. I have a nice little sack. It's not really that hairy. It's never been hairy. But my bush fat. Huh?

[Christine]

The Paco feel.

[Bobby Kelly]

No. Okay.

[Christine]

Now listen.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'll tell you why.

[Christine]

Don't think of it as Paco. Think of it as Paco as a girl. Remember we saw last week Understand that?

[Bobby Kelly]

And I was trying to do that before aggressive male Paco got up his. His aggression.

[Christine]

He's like, bro, I'll. I'll cut you nuts, dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

He had alpha male Austin aggression. And I didn't like.

[Christine]

It was. Yeah, he did not he was gonna hold your balls. I just tell Joe Rogan he did it.

[Producer Lou]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I thought he was gonna have, you know, la. You know, Laugh Factory guy, Filipino girl.

[Christine]

Would it make you feel better if my fingernail polish fingers were the ones holding your ball back?

[Bobby Kelly]

No.

[Christine]

You sure?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes, but no.

[Christine]

Okay, yes, I know you prefer to be DJ Lou.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I don't want those little Irish fingers on my testicles.

[Christine]

Why not?

[Bobby Kelly]

Because I feel like I'm molested by a priest. He has priest hands.

[Christine]

I do believe that. I think he's a little bit gentle. Okay, now, Black Lou. He's watching.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I. No, I'm not doing that either. Chocolate on you.

[Christine]

They could probably fit in your butt.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, my God. Black, loose hands are perfect for ball holding. Trust me, I know.

[Christine]

Like, it's like there's. They're. They're not big hands, so that they're gonna, like, fall off the sides, and it's gonna feel like a. Like a. Candles melting in his hand.

[Bobby Kelly]

His little, nice little. Little every finger's the same type hand.

[Christine]

I do like that.

[Bobby Kelly]

So I'm ready to go in. But I. I'm all. The guy was like, hey. The guy said this. I didn't even think about. He's like, good for you, man. You're always ready to go, huh? For people to see down there. And I was like, oh, no, I'm not. Like, I. This is why I haven't. I usually do trim my bush fat, but I have four razors in the shower because Max keeps using my razors to trim his. So I have to. His. He's got pubes.

[Christine]

Right.

[Ad Voice]

So he's using my razor.

[Christine]

Why?

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know.

[Christine]

He's 12.

[Bobby Kelly]

He's got a fat patch.

[Christine]

No one. That's crazy.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'll show it to you right now. You want to see a picture?

[Christine]

I don't.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Christine]

That'S. That's no. 12 years old. You don't have to start shaving your beatings or anything.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm telling you right now, it's not. I'm not. I'm telling you right now. He hit puberty early.

[Christine]

Sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

And it was shocking. He has a full patch.

[Christine]

Great.

[Bobby Kelly]

And he. I don't know where he got it from, but one day he just trimmed it off, and then he started trimming it, and I'm like, dude, you gotta. I. So I gave him my manscape. I said, this is yours. Don't use my stuff, because I use it to do my face in my head sometimes.

[Christine]

These are private, dad. Son talks.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, what Are you gonna do.

[Christine]

And then I showed him how to do it on my penis.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I've never showed him how to do it. So I have like four razors that he keeps. You. He just keeps using mine. So I haven't trimmed it in a minute because I need to get a new one because I don't trust it now because one time I did shave my head and I got pimples on my head and I'm like, no, that's from his bush fat. So sorry, that was too much.

[Christine]

So, I mean, you know, Paco's checking the timestamps is what he keeps walking around for. Because he wants to make sure when they subpoen of him, he's gonna know what they need.

[Bobby Kelly]

You can't make this a clip, you freak.

[Christine]

Such a. Louis, why do we have a camera day? To start confessing about the things you've done.

[Bobby Kelly]

So anyways, I haven't. I have. It's not like it's. It's hair, right? It's hair. And then there's my. You know, it's just not. It's not cleaned up, you know, it's. If I'm gonna have my penis out to a nurse practition and a young Spanish girl, I need it to look its best. I mean, when I go in there.

[Christine]

Understood.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't want to be the guy I don't look out in the crowd at, you know, in Stanford fucking New York Comedy club. And she's in the front row with a bunch of her hot girls. And she's seen my old man. Fucking weird, unshaven, homeless dick. You know what I mean? I want her to see. No, he's got a nice piece, buddy.

[Christine]

I get the nerves for sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

So I canceled it.

[Christine]

You didn't do it at all?

[Bobby Kelly]

I couldn't. I wonder if I'm gonna go back.

[Christine]

We call live on the show, my game day. Oh, are they open today?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Wednesday.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, they're open.

[Christine]

They're not open Monday and Tuesday, I think. Yeah, they're open on Wednesday. We call them on air and ask them if they would jerk me off with an electric club.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not.

[Christine]

I'm gonna say they're doing that in Stanford.

[Bobby Kelly]

Game waves. Stanford, Stanford. They're game waves in Stanford.

[Christine]

They're willing to whack everybody off.

[Bobby Kelly]

They're not whacking anybody off. They're using gain waves on your penis.

[Christine]

Somebody called game day. Paramus says you can speak to Renata, please. I like this Renata. Bobby says they whack him off in.

[Bobby Kelly]

Stanford, that's not what they're doing. Please don't do that. You're gonna ruin my. My. My hookup. And I'm not gonna get the game waves done on my penis.

[Christine]

Is anybody calling Paramus? No.

[Bobby Kelly]

So I'm gonna go back in a couple weeks. I'm gonna make sure everything's nice and neat down there. Right now. Should I go clean? Should I leave a little Hitler mustache?

[Christine]

This has been a big point of debate in my life recently on Legion of Skanks. This came up. I'm a balls down to the Bic razor. The balls gone and then the base, and then the base all around. Just base. Just so you get as much. It looks. You're getting as much length as possible because, you know the bottom half inch or so will have hair on it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Christine, can you bring up dick mustaches or different versions of dick hair so we can see? Maybe I can look.

[Christine]

Oh, buddy. I would just do nothing and just get rid of the ball hair.

[Bobby Kelly]

So get rid of bald hair. And I have to trim it up because it's coming in from the side.

[Christine]

You have very, very long. I don't have very long. I don't have a lot of body hair.

[Bobby Kelly]

I have. I don't have a lot of body hair, too, but down there. The. As you get older, it grows less and more in certain places. Oh, maybe I make a heart. That'd be funny.

[Christine]

That would be funny.

[Bobby Kelly]

A little heart. How funny would that be if I made it into a heart? Or what if I made into a G for Game Day?

[Christine]

I'd like that. Let them see.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine's Friend]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

What do we got here?

[Christine]

Or have, like. Have like. It's smaller writing where it says, hello, doctor. Or something like that black little. Would you mean paper you call Paramus Game Day Health. And ask for Renata, please, if she's in.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, dude, it's called gain waves. I got you on your penis.

[Christine]

Yes.

[Bobby Kelly]

They're not masturbating me.

[Christine]

I want to ask if they do it there.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay. All right.

[Christine]

On air. Her name's Renata.

[Commercial Announcer 4]

Please.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know your face.

[Christine]

Is Renata available?

[Bobby Kelly]

Do they have just a photo? I just want to see a photo. Is that the game waves?

[Christine]

Is this what it is?

[Christine's Friend]

It's not showing anything.

[Christine]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Game wave. Oh, she's hot. Oh, that's.

[Ad Voice]

That's.

[Bobby Kelly]

I. Maybe I do the heart. Jay, do you trim the whole thing? You have no hair above your penis?

[Christine]

No, no, no, no. I have hair above my penis.

[Bobby Kelly]

Does it fade in nice?

[Christine]

No, no. I've never had great dick hair.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I wanna.

[Christine]

But I've also. It's never. But. But the shape of my body would not lend itself to me shaving my above dick hair in any way. It doesn't make sense to, like, make it a small, like, patch around it. It's better just. It just blends in with my body hair pretty much. I just don't have a lot of hair.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Oh, God. I don't want to look at real hair.

[Christine]

Yes, you did.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, my God.

[Christine's Friend]

That's what you were asking.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I wanted an an The. And the cartoon version. You know what I mean? Like, if you're going to show kids what to do. Yeah, that's.

[Christine]

Text me, girl. Renata.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, there's a good one.

[Christine]

Wait, that's not her.

[Bobby Kelly]

What about that one? What about the. Maybe just a little vertical Hitler mustache. Go straight up.

[Christine]

Bobby. Bobby, you're just starting to think about gay things here. I would go. If anything.

[Bobby Kelly]

Can we go back to you holding your balls up and slapping them into your. For one second.

[Christine]

Slap anything in my.

[Bobby Kelly]

You let it drop.

[Christine]

I let it drop into my asshole. I plinko it. It plink. Goes down my. My ass cheek folds. Christina, you're leaning over the throat. I. Patchy growth. That's a bummer.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

That's what I feel. I have.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's what I have. I have patchy growth.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And I can adjust the patchy growth. It sounds disgusting, by the way.

[Christine]

It does.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's patchy growth. Christine, don't make eyebrows at me like you have patchy growth. I can adjust it to make it not patchy. So if I went in today, everybody would have saw patchy growth, and maybe that would have been my nickname. Patchy growth. Kelly and I don't want that.

[Christine]

Christine's the only person who's seen my penis with any regularity in life in this room besides me. I have awful dick hair, Right?

[Bobby Kelly]

It's not awful.

[Christine's Friend]

It's just not very thick.

[Christine]

It's just like.

[Christine's Friend]

It's not like a bad.

[Bobby Kelly]

That was the nicest way ever to say that. Not awful. It's just not very thick.

[Christine]

It's just not. It's not a thick.

[Commercial Announcer 1]

But I don't know if a thicker.

[Christine's Friend]

Bush would be, like, more preferential.

[Christine]

Dustin Silver's got, like, great thick dick. It's thick.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. I used to have so.

[Christine]

It's like. So what he can do because he's built good, he can shave around and just have, like, a patch. Like a. Like a. Like a rising moon of cock hair above his dick and it looks like. And then a wiener's, like, sprouting out of it like a. Like a palm tree.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's like a horse mane.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I have. I think I'm. I'm not sure about this, but I think as you get older and being heavy, I think it kills your hair.

[Christine]

I think that does because you're a lot more rubbing. Probably. That said, though, ulcers can be said for. As you lose weight, though, the hairs will now come closer together, creating a thicker hair situation.

[Bobby Kelly]

Like when fat people are bald, but when they lose weight, they. It looks like the hair came back.

[Christine]

Yes, that would be the theory. Ultimately, you're stretching. We've stretched these already. Not like thick hair. I've stretched it to the limit at a point, you know, I mean, so it's the hairs, the. The follicles themselves are stretching apart. As you lose weight, those will come together a little bit. So I do think my dick hair is a little nicer and thicker than it was when I was.

[Bobby Kelly]

So I. I'm gonna go back in. I literally ran out. I was like, I. I gotta go. I'm not gonna do it today. I gotta call my wife. I just said I'm gonna call my wife.

[Christine]

They think you're gay.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's okay. I'm fine with that.

[Christine]

Michael. Anywhere in Renata.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go back. But what if I like. What if I come?

[Christine]

I expect you to.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but what isn't that bad? Am I gonna get in trouble?

[Christine]

That means you're a virile man.

[Bobby Kelly]

But isn't it. Am I gonna. If she's rubbing up and down on my thing and I. I think you hear the face. She'll go, oh, she's Russian.

[Christine]

Duh.

[Producer Lou]

Niet.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know. I'm nervous, like, to get jerked off.

[Christine]

In public while a lady watches an old Russian lady whack you off.

[Bobby Kelly]

But I don't. I don't want her to shadow. Yeah, they are closed for the day, unfortunately.

[Christine]

Oh, five o'. Clock.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, man.

[Christine]

They have hours that are. They must be making.

[Bobby Kelly]

You can go to the website. You can go to the website, look up game waves.

[Christine]

I don't want to. I want to ask my place if they will whack me off while another one watches. And can I pick the girls now?

[Bobby Kelly]

She.

[Christine]

Because I'll tell you what, the phlebotomist is nice too. And I think I might want her to watch because she gets like. She got like a bitchy face.

[Bobby Kelly]

I want Her. I want him.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's almost like when you go to Fridays and there's a waitress shadow waitressing the other way.

[Christine]

Absolutely. It's what. It's like.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's what's gonna happen.

[Christine]

I want to have. I want to get whacked off by someone being shadowed, which means they've trusted that person to be the person who's really good at whacking off. Because you can. You get to learn from the best. They're not going to send you to learn with like the shittiest whack off person.

[Bobby Kelly]

But here's the problem. You got to go in. I'm sure that maybe they might have a thing like a dick mask.

[Christine]

What do you mean?

[Bobby Kelly]

Like a dick mask they put over you.

[Christine]

Right?

[Bobby Kelly]

Like a. Like a condom that goes over you. I should ask more because if there's a condom that goes over your bush fat.

[Christine]

I don't care.

[Bobby Kelly]

And goes over your penis so they covers everything and they're just. You know what I mean?

[Christine]

Reaching under there, doing the stuff.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, just it's. It's so. It's like almost like a face mask for your car.

[Christine]

I'm gonna grab her wrist.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're gonna squeeze your tits.

[Christine]

Grab your wrist. Would be. I would freaking chick out so much. If he's trying to do some medical treatment to your wiener and you reach over and grab a wrist and bite your lip. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But Bobby, this is you beating your. With a machine in your house.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, that's a blowjob machine.

[Ad Voice]

Typing.

[Bobby Kelly]

Gain gain. Waves a rectile, whatever. Because I don't have erectile dysfunction. I get a boner. I'm fine. I jerk off. Sure, Jay.

[Christine]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't. I don't get erected.

[Producer Lou]

I have.

[Bobby Kelly]

My penis works.

[Christine]

Yeah, Todd. Sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jay. I jerk off all the time. Yeah, I'll jerk off right now.

[Christine]

No, you wouldn't.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes, I will. Pocket, get over here. Open your mouth.

[Christine]

You can only come if he's.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, my God. It's so weird how eager he is to suck it.

[Christine]

Oh, he's a people. Please. You're gonna judge him.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, you're right.

[Christine]

Wow. Sorry, Paco. I guess stand up for yourself more. That would be cooler.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is there. Is there any video of it?

[Christine]

Oh, yeah. Getting whacked off by two chicks. It's all over. Christine, look up. Whacked off by two chicks. No, watch. One lady watches woman whack off guy. And you can type in the word electricity if it makes you feel better.

[Bobby Kelly]

I would really like to See the process of game waves for the penis like too.

[Christine]

Can I watch the girl watch the other girl watch you whack off as.

[Bobby Kelly]

She'S shooting you up with peptides?

[Christine]

Yeah, dude, I'll take it. Don't aim it at me though. You don't know that. Tea. Dude, what if you lay a rope.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, here it is.

[Christine]

My mind.

[Bobby Kelly]

What is that?

[Christine's Friend]

I think this is it.

[Bobby Kelly]

What was that? Was that a vagina or a penis? What is that?

[Christine]

The fuck is.

[Bobby Kelly]

What is that?

[Christine]

No, your dick, dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, what is that?

[Christine]

That is your dick.

[Bobby Kelly]

No. Where is it? Where's your. Where's your penis?

[Christine]

It's inside that machine.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, it goes in it?

[Christine]

Yeah. She's jacking you off with electricity.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wait a minute.

[Christine's Friend]

This is something. This is linear shock.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, thank God. I don't want that. I mean, I do now, but.

[Christine]

Wait, this isn't even his dick.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes, wait, go back to that. Can you see that? You know, his inner thigh? See how his little. He used to be fat in his little, like. See that Internet. I don't want her to see that on me. That, that, that darker skin on the.

[Christine]

Might I suggest, Bobby, that you open your legs crazy wide.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, the lights are too bright in there.

[Christine]

Dude, just give her a real. Like it goes. I'm sorry. I don't want you to see. I gotta stretch out so you don't see all my folds and stuff. Is that better for you? Bobby, I want you to understand right now, if I was undressed, yeah. My balls would be hitting my asshole and then I would grab the middle of my. Bobby, look at me. I would grab the. Bobby, please.

[Bobby Kelly]

All right, wait, go ahead, Bobby.

[Christine]

We do a show together.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay?

[Christine]

I would lift up my ball bag by the seam in the middle and then. And because then they both like. You see the nuts kind of hang and then you just drop them and then they go ba bong on your butthole.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay, so what is that?

[Christine]

And that's how it's done. Where's my camera?

[Bobby Kelly]

Camera.

[Christine]

And that's how it's done.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's under his nuts. He's holding his nuts up. That's his nuts.

[Christine]

That's under this dick. Where the was his dick?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, his dick was up. Yeah.

[Christine]

Oh my God.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wow.

[Christine]

What is this, a cartoon about it?

[Bobby Kelly]

I love animated. Let's watch it. All right, so does it end with him shooting stuff pain free.

[Christine]

And it's simple, you just go get whacked off. Off. But this guy's. Get whacked off by a guy. That's different.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I don't want the guy to do it. It's probably cheaper, though, with the guy to do it free. Actually.

[Christine]

Sliding scale.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think he said, I'll do it for nothing after hours. I. I was so I literally panicked and ran out. I was like, I gotta do it another day. I can't do it because I didn't want. I would have let the Russian lady do it, because I don't care. She's like, my age or not my age, but she's in her 40s. But the young, hot new girl, too. It's like, I never. I met her that day.

[Christine's Friend]

You didn't feel comfortable asking me, like, can you just do it?

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm not.

[Christine's Friend]

I don't want her to come in.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, because that sounds like I want her to just jerk me off. You know what I mean? She needed to teach this girl how to do it. Like, they're giving me a deal so that the girl can have practice on a penis, right? And probably nobody. This is a new thing that they're doing. So what am I gonna. You know what I mean?

[Christine's Friend]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's being at, like, Fridays. Be like, hey, I only want you as my waitress. I don't want her learning, you know, how do I do that? And, you know, if they're both in there and they're both, you know, doing stuff to my penis. Yeah, I probably. I probably just blow. Well, you know, what if I just. If I blow a load, my dick's going soft.

[Christine]

Nice.

[Bobby Kelly]

You need me hard to do it.

[Christine]

Right for a little bit.

[Bobby Kelly]

You gotta. You can't just. If I. I'm one and done.

[Christine]

As soon as I off together, as.

[Bobby Kelly]

Soon as I shoot it, I'm out. I'm done, person, dude, no, I'm done. It's not a normal person.

[Christine]

What are you gonna do?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Popped your cork, dude. Off.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

What if they start going, like, does it still. Does it work if we suck it too? What if that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, my God.

[Christine]

Did you even consider what if that?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, I didn't. But if that happened, I would spend all my money at game day.

[Christine]

Why don't you think about what if that.

[Bobby Kelly]

What if one was like. What if it was it.

[Christine]

What the was that? Crystal meth and prostitutes were my biggest experience.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'll be right back. And then one started sucking it. Like, secretly sucking my dick secretly. Yeah, I had that at the dentist once. Where? The dentist. I used to go to the dentist in. In Matt Frost used to send all of us to this dentist from New York Entertainment out in Long Island. And she was a kind of a big, chubby lady. She was cool. But her assistant was a Spanish girl. Girl, Very nice girl. And, you know, I went a couple times, and then one time they cleaned my teeth. I spit out, and she just started making out with me.

[Christine]

Ew.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was hot as.

[Christine]

What a weird time.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know. Weird time, but smoking hot. This just Girl leaned in and just started. She was making out with me. You need a filling. She was Spanish.

[Christine]

Ah, you need a feeding, stupid.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, that's kind of right.

[Christine]

Stupid. You open your mouth.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was hot.

[Christine]

Dude, I'm gonna kiss you because I actually don't know how to do dentist stuff.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then the doctor came back in, and we just almost got caught, which is even hotter.

[Christine]

Really?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. And then she left again, and she gave me another smooch. It was wild. Wild. Like, if that matter. Before I knew her, I went there.

[Christine]

You know, from going to the place.

[Bobby Kelly]

I went like two times. We kind of, you know me back then. Hey, who making her laugh.

[Christine]

She's just wearing overalls with no underwear.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was that time.

[Ad Voice]

That was.

[Bobby Kelly]

That was that Bobby. It was.

[Christine]

That's my favorite.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was Las Vegas Bobby.

[Christine]

That's my favorite Bobby Overalls. Just way chicks can reach down the front and beat him off in his dungarees. What an animal. What a goddamn wretched animal.

[Bobby Kelly]

So I'm gonna go back in a week or two and get whacked off. Am I gonna. I'm gonna do it, but should I. What should I do?

[Christine]

Well, if you're gonna come fast, I just think of something else and then. But then come back to it. And I'd go, like, what I would do. I'd ask everything with my face. Like, grab, like the side of her ass and then just raise your eyebrows at her, like, is this good? Because she'll let you know if it's not.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm not gonna gr. I can't grab her ass. She's a. She's a nurse practitioner.

[Christine]

As soon as you get the first zap, be like, oh, God. Do you guys party? Don't know what it means. Oh, God. Do you guys party at all? Oh, kiss. Kiss each other. Oh, God. Kiss. Go. Oh, God. Oh, God. Kiss. Kiss each other now. Oh, God. Do me now. Whoa. Hey.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm gonna do it in a couple weeks. I'll let you know what happens. But I'm gonna definitely, definitely prepare. Is there anything I can put.

[Christine]

Can you bring the machine in with you one time so I can zap you? We'll do like the. We'll see if you're psychic. Like the beginning of Ghostbusters. A couple of wavy lines like, today is not your day. Oh, yay.

[Bobby Kelly]

Is it two squares?

[Christine]

I didn't know I was gonna be getting electric shocks. Hey, it's Ghostbusters. Christine.

[Christine's Friend]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Yo. Christine had the best night last night. She had probably since we moved into this place.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think I'm having a heart attack.

[Christine]

Really? You know, it's funny. I was smelling burnt toast earlier in the shower. I mean, you're having a heart attack.

[Bobby Kelly]

We both died today.

[Christine]

I really think. I was like, I think I might be having a stroke. And every time I say it again, my hands go numb.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Christine had an amazing night last night. She got to see something that a lot of people never get to see in their life. Unfortunately, because of licensing and issues and things, I couldn't broadcast this. Thought about doing it on my live stream, but I couldn't do it. They've released episodes now, full episodes of Rock and Roll Jeopardy. From back in the day on VH1. You wanna see something impressive? What? Three. I missed three. Two full boards of Rock and Roll Jeopardy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Really?

[Christine]

Two or three things. One of them, they said I was wrong. It said it like. I said the answer was the word someone. It was like, match the two songs together with one word. And it was like, I need, like, blank and blank to love. And I was like, someone. And then the answer was somebody. But then later in the game, they came back and they said, you know what? Someone works there. Also, there's songs called those things with someone. So I was right there. Even when I thought I was wrong, I was right. And Christine got to watch that.

[Bobby Kelly]

And I thought this was a story about Christine.

[Christine]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

How did this become about you, Christine and Dylan?

[Christine]

Christine and Dylan had to watch. Now, here's the thing. Dylan was impressed. Dylan wasn't impressed with what I was doing so much.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Because he has a mustache and he's thinking about his next thing.

[Christine]

Well, he just kind of said if it makes sense. He said that he expected this. It wasn't. He was just like, yeah, sure, I know. I've gone on the road with you a bunch. It's. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

We all know that. This is what you do. You're a savant. You're literally have autism with music.

[Christine]

So I yelled for Christine to come outside because she needed the witnesses.

[Christine's Friend]

And you called me.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Call her out on the phone.

[Christine]

Oh, right. Yeah.

[Christine's Friend]

And he goes, are you in a meeting right now? And I was like, no, not for.

[Christine]

Like, come outside. No, I said, come outside. You're gonna want to see this. That's what I said. I said, you're gonna want to see this.

[Christine's Friend]

Okay? And I go out there, and the first thing I say, go, I just think you're autistic.

[Bobby Kelly]

I go, we all think this is just autism.

[Ad Voice]

It's not a.

[Producer Lou]

You're saying.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think it's like, do you understand? We know where. You know where this comes from. This comes from just a lonely, chubby kid on the floor.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

You understand this is the beginning of a movie where they. How did this guy become that? And they just cut back to just you with Cheetos in front of a TV with music playing, just with your little feet flipping in the air in your underwear just by yourself for day after day after day. Where back then, it was bad, it was sad, but it became your superhero power later in life.

[Christine]

Right.

[Bobby Kelly]

That is your origin story to make you.

[Christine]

Some people learn computers.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. To make you. You have to be a little chubby, a little lonely kid.

[Christine]

Sad, for sure. Dad gone. A little bit of abandonment issues.

[Ad Voice]

Women.

[Bobby Kelly]

You have to have women.

[Christine]

Women issues for sure.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Without a doubt.

[Bobby Kelly]

But now you have a superhero power.

[Christine]

And Christine, at one point, this. I leaned over, probably towards the end of round one of Jeopardy. I leaned over. Rock and roll Jeopardy. I leaned over to Dylan to explain to Dylan what was so impressive about the last thing that I got right. And then I turned back over to say something to Christine. Gone. She ran back in the house. I had to scream for her. I go, where the fuck are you going? Get out of here. Get out of here now. And she had to come back out. I was like. And then she wouldn't sit down. I was like, you have to sit or I'm not hitting play again. Sit and watch what happened? This is amazing.

[Christine's Friend]

I was trying to put the yard back together from the power washing.

[Christine]

There's time for that whenever you're doing man work, there's time for that whenever.

[Bobby Kelly]

Huh?

[Christine]

There's time for just putting cushions back.

[Bobby Kelly]

There's time for that woman's work.

[Christine]

There's time for that whenever.

[Bobby Kelly]

Misogynistic Bob.

[Christine]

I was in the zone, man.

[Christine's Friend]

Dylan didn't give a shit. He calls me out like, oh, I'm sorry. Does Dylan, like, know you better than me now?

[Christine]

But she tried.

[Christine's Friend]

Dylan's unimpressed.

[Christine]

Tried. She tried to escape.

[Bobby Kelly]

We all do. J.

[Christine]

When I looked this way, she.

[Bobby Kelly]

She was trying to right now.

[Christine]

I heard the door close. I didn't know. She.

[Bobby Kelly]

She.

[Ad Voice]

She.

[Christine]

She, like, slunk out.

[Bobby Kelly]

We're praying for the clock to get to six.

[Christine's Friend]

And then I said, oh, there's this game called Lyrically Correct. And I was going to get it, but I was like, none of your friends are going to want to play with you.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nobody's going to play anything with you. Music. Nothing. You know, when I first came onto the show, it was like, like you were picking songs at the beginning. I was like, oh, let me pick a couple. And it was like useless because I would pick a song, you'd be like, it's not good for today. And you'd have a song that matched the weather outside and the thing we said coming up the stairs. And that had something to do with last week. And I'm like it. I'm out. You pick the songs. You pick them. I even called you when I was super impressed. I'm super impressed.

[Christine]

You'd be impressed if you watch me play Rock and Roll Jeopardy.

[Bobby Kelly]

I would like to see a bit.

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