Famous Floppers

Summary

The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Robert Kelly
Episode: Famous Floppers
Release Date: April 24, 2026
Podcast Network: SiriusXM Faction Talk

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Episode Overview

"Famous Floppers" continues The Bonfire’s signature blend of sharp comedic banter, raw honesty, and deep dives into pop culture’s bizarre crosscurrents. In this episode, Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly riff on viral celebrity behavior, comedians’ behind-the-scenes dynamics, notorious celebrity endowments, and absurdities both in the entertainment business and their personal histories. With regular guest Jacob and contributions from staff, the show is irreverent, unpredictable, and unfiltered as ever.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Yamanika Saunders and Chelsea Handler’s Viral Hallway Video (00:52–07:40)

• Bobby and Jay launch into a recent video of comedians Yamanika Saunders and Chelsea Handler, visibly drunk and horsing around in a hotel hallway.
• Yamanika's new role as opener for Handler: Jay and Bobby express happiness for Yamanika's career boost.
  • (00:07) Jay: "She needed something. She's that funny where she can go out and get some fans."
• The discussion turns to the physical humor in the video, with Chelsea “tackling” Yamanika and content creation for social media.
• Jay and Bobby discuss the mixed emotions of being physically treated as "the big person" in a friend group, relating it to their own experiences of being the butt of similar jokes:
  • (03:00) Bobby: "I didn't like when my friends treated me like the big lummox that you can do rougher stuff to."
• Bobby draws parallels to being tour-mates with Dane Cook and roughhousing that crosses into bullying, humorously reminiscing about being hit with a stun gun.
  • (05:13) Bobby: "Dane Cook taunted and bullied you...with a stun gun."

2. Clip Farming, Social Media, and Generational Differences (06:54–08:47)

• The hosts critique “clip farming” and the calculated use of even humiliating moments for online attention, questioning the authenticity behind such content.
  • (06:54) Jay: "Look, I know what clip farming is. And that's what this is as the influencer. This is just clip farming."
• Both agree these moments can backfire, referencing the risk of future “resentment” similar to the Katy Perry–Ruby Rose controversy.
  • (08:27) Jay: "This is the type of shit that ... down the road, like that Katy Perry thing ... when you do these weird things."

3. The Katy Perry–Ruby Rose Allegation & Double Standards of Sexual Misconduct (08:47–17:06)

• Jacob describes the viral allegations that Katy Perry sexually assaulted Ruby Rose by rubbing her vagina on Rose's face while she rested.
  • (11:11) Bobby, reading Ruby Rose’s account: "'... rubbed her disgusting vagina on my face until my eyes snapped open and I projectile vomited on her.' Come on. That's hilarious."
• The crew debates:
  • Why female-on-female misconduct is minimized or seen as less serious.
    • (12:31) Bobby: "Opening up about W on W ... violence and sexual abuse seems to be a hundred times harder..."
  • Whether it's actually gross or if people’s reactions differ based on gender and attractiveness.
  • Bobby and Jay both jokingly question the seriousness, though Jay notes that if someone is sick or trying to rest, it's not okay regardless.
  • The conversation devolves humorously into analogies with male rock stars and raucous backstage behavior.
• The discussion pivots into riffing on methods women supposedly use to cure ailments (like curing hiccups or migraines) by “getting muffed.”
  • (17:06) Bobby: "If you had hiccups, they'd be gone."

4. Celebrity "Floppers": Penises in Pop Culture (17:31–26:11)

• A classic Bonfire topic—jokes about famous male endowments ("floppers")—consumes the next segment.
• Orlando Bloom, Justin Bieber, Chris Brown, The Game, and Greg Oden are discussed with both awe and competitive frustration.
• The group analyzes leaked and paparazzi photos, theorizing about the fairness of genetics, the degree of “flop” (visible bulge), race and body type, and the lengths men go to in order to improve the optical illusion of penis size.
  • (20:10) Jay: "He doesn't have to [trim his bush]; he has enough dick to come out of it anyway."
• Jay proposes “your penis looks like your face” as a theory.
  • (26:03) Jay: "I have a theory that you want to know what a guy's dick look like, Just look at his face."
• The riffing extends to comic friends’ hypothetical attributes—Mark Normand’s, Lewis’s, Dan Soder's—and the correlating "dick faces.”
  • (26:49) Bobby: "Do you picture Mark Norman's as very curly dick hair, like his head hair?"

5. Imitation, Influence, and Lil Wayne vs. Drake (29:08–37:39)

• Bobby claims that early Drake “just did Lil Wayne’s voice.”
  • (29:08) Bobby: "His rapping voice is a chosen voice, like Cypress Hill almost. But he chose to do Lil Wayne's voice."
• The group debates and tests the theory, with Jacob and Jay ultimately agreeing that early Drake did sound a lot like Lil Wayne.
  • (37:06) Bobby: "Sorry about the snark. I got excited."
• This leads them down a rabbit hole of comparing celebrities, impressions, and the blurred lines between homage, imitation, and outright copying in music.

6. Old-School Hollywood, Masculinity, and Iconic “Hung” Celebrities (42:43–45:27)

• The conversation pivots to classic Hollywood and notorious stories of Milton Berle’s legendary penis (“he would pull it out on set all the time”), with riffs about how times have changed and such antics would now be instantly canceled.
  • (44:10) Jay: "I would too, if I had a massive thing. ... I'd pull it out at the end of my sets, guys. Thank you so much. And I pull my dick out."
  • Bobby: "We're gonna treat our big huge dicks differently in this scenario."
• Jane Curtin and SNL, how comic primadonnas and outlandish moments used to be par for the course.

7. Sitcoms, New York Apartments & TV Nostalgia (47:00–50:58)

• The hosts, led by Jacob, debate sitcoms set in NYC and the realism of friends living in luxurious apartments.
• Jay admits newfound understanding now that he knows about "rent control" plot points.
  • (47:31) Jay: "Was it? I didn't know that. Oh, maybe I'll go rewatch it then. That's all I needed."
• They reminisce on "Coach," "King of Queens," "All in the Family," and their personal indifference or affection for "Friends," "Seinfeld," and "Sex & the City."

8. Comedian Stories, Venue Complaints, and Industry Woes (51:18–57:03)

• Bobby shares anecdotes about awkward social genius Kurt Metzger, openers getting complaints, and the agony/absurdity of focusing on negative audience feedback.
• Jay and Bobby mock the “letter writers” and the disproportionate impact of audience complaints to club management.
  • (55:03) Bobby: "I know it should not be rewarded, certainly not with a paid chapter in a book."

9. Jay’s "Assimilator" Mentality, Growing Up, and The Psychology of Fitting In (57:03–59:59)

• Jay introspects about how he always wanted to fit in, shifting his image to match different groups throughout his youth.
  • (57:39) Bobby: "You really are like. You are the boars. You will assimilate."
• The hosts joke about their shared struggles with body image and the awkwardness of realizing your social adaptability mirrors "retarded" logic.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Chelsea/Yamanika Video:
  • Bobby (03:09): "It's like you might as well walk up to me and, like, jiggle my belly in front of people. Hey, Jay."
  • Jay (04:29): "It's a very uncomfortable hallway situation that I don't like seeing my friend Yamaneka."
• On Katy Perry–Ruby Rose:
  • Bobby (11:28): "Come on. That's hilarious."
  • Jay (13:00): "I think she did ... she went to the police and did file a report."
  • Bobby (12:31): "Good word. ... Opening up about W on W ... violence and sexual abuse seems to be a hundred times harder than speaking out about the male predators."
• On celebrity ‘endowment’ photos:
  • Jay (20:10): "He doesn't even trim that at all."
  • Bobby (24:03): "Can you imagine wearing white underwear, and then your dick stretches the material so much that you see the color of your dick through?"
• On the similarities in Drake & Lil Wayne's sound:
  • Bobby (29:08): "He's just doing Lil Wayne's voice and just did a whole different career."
  • Jay (37:02): "This is Drake. Yeah, you're right. You're 100% right."
• Classic Bonfire irreverence:
  • Bobby (53:54): "That lady's now a published writer. I'm not."
  • Bobby (57:05): "Yes. I think like a retard. Thank you."
  • Jay (59:32): "I don't know. I'm thinking about just getting a bungee cord and hooking it to the corners of his mouth and his ears. Fucking make him smile..."

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Chelsea & Yamanika hotel incident: 00:52–07:40
• Clip farming & influencer critique: 06:54–08:47
• Katy Perry–Ruby Rose scandal & double standards: 08:47–17:06
• Celebrity floppers—Orlando Bloom, Chris Brown, etc.: 17:31–26:11
• "Your penis looks like your face" theory: 26:03–27:03
• Lil Wayne vs. Drake voice argument: 29:08–37:39
• Classic Hollywood, Milton Berle stories: 42:43–45:27
• Sitcoms and NYC apartment realism debate: 47:00–50:58
• Comedy club complaints, letter writers, Kurt Metzger: 51:18–57:03
• Jay's adolescence and social chameleoning: 57:03–59:59

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Final Thoughts

"Famous Floppers" is classic Bonfire—irreverent, raucous, consistently funny, and grounded in the hosts’ real-life frustrations and absurd amusements. From dissecting the etiquette of hallway horseplay to the egos and insecurities of the comedy circuit, and even the dimensions of celebrity anatomy, Jay and Bobby keep it unpredictable and gloriously unfiltered. Their unvarnished takes on the underbelly of entertainment and pop culture, with plenty of roast-style affection for friends and foes alike, make this a must-listen—or at least, a can’t-miss episode summary.

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For show notes, tour dates, and live events, follow the hosts at BigJComedy.com and RobertKellyLive.com.

Transcript

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[Bobby Kelly]

And now the bonfire with Big J

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okerson and Robert Kelly.

[Bobby Kelly]

I saw a video this morning of I want to get to the David Fox Mullen stuff, but of Yamaneka and Chelsea Handler, I think drunk in a hotel hallway, falling all over each other.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

What a weird connection of people I would have never put together. I guess Yamanika's opening for her all over.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yamanika is her opener now and she's touring with her and she's taken a liking to Yamana, which I love. I'm glad that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sure.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Somebody.

[Bobby Kelly]

Someone like Yamanika. No, I know it's sound like what you're gonna say.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No. Don't get mad at me.

[Bobby Kelly]

Don't turn on me. Make it real. No, I love her.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I would never turn on you.

[Bobby Kelly]

I love Yamanika.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Don't say no. I love. Yeah, but I'm glad that somebody. Somebody big took her under her wing.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, it's great. She's gonna get exposed to a big audience.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She needed something. She's that funny where she can go out and get some fans. She lost a lot of weight, too. She looks.

[Bobby Kelly]

She lost a lot of weight.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She looks better.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. No doubt. Grinding it out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's got big, big cans, man.

[Bobby Kelly]

I mean, she does have ridiculous sized tits.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, they're nuts. Yeah, that's it, right? She's. Yeah. They're in a hallway at a hotel. They've done a couple weird things. I actually called her on one. There was some sexual tension happening.

[Bobby Kelly]

She said something. She said that Chelsea got her a bunch of dildos and vibrators, something. And she likes one of them. Yeah, the big one, I think the big one.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The one with the sword handle on it, I mean. Oh, she's biting.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's biting Chelsea. But first of all, she's pulling Yummy on the ground. Which is definitely impossible.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You don't want that. You don't want to pull Yamanika on top of you.

[Bobby Kelly]

That was crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. They're on the ground floor fighting in a hotel hallway, and Yamanika has a.

[Bobby Kelly]

It looks like she's gonna go finger.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, she's pulling her. She's trying to get in her coochie. I mean, listen,

[Bobby Kelly]

she's trying to tickle

[Big Jay Oakerson]

her, I think, tickler in her. How do you tickle somebody in their. I take that back.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know how that's done, by the way. I do. I don't like, necessarily, though, that I don't know if Yamaneka feels this, but I would feel. I didn't like when my friends treated me like the big lummox that you can do rougher stuff to. Like that. And, like, Chelsea Handler taking a running start to just jump on Yamaneka while she's on the ground and, like, fall. Like, fall over. Knowing Yamanicha's gonna laugh would make me feel like shit. I'm like, don't fucking make it look like.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know what I mean? It's like, you might as well walk up to me and, like, rub my. Jiggle my belly in front of people. Hey, Jay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jiggle, jiggle, jiggle, jiggle.

[Bobby Kelly]

They go, hey, look how easy. Look how sturdy you are.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Chelsea Handler's a fuck drunk, though. That's some. That's some drunk ass right there.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah. I think. Doesn't she, like, almost, like, attribute her whole career to alcohol?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I guess?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, right? Her books, weren't they, like, hey, Vodka, it's me, Chelsea.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's called, like, Whiskey Slut.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I wouldn't.

[Bobby Kelly]

My life is a whiskey slut.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I wouldn't have to put up with this. You know what I mean? If you were. If you were under somebody's wing, opening for them, and they were just tackling you drunk in a hallway, trying to tickle your vag, and you have to put up with it or you'll. You can't say no.

[Bobby Kelly]

No. But I know it's, like, the thing. It's like that would. Somewhere in me. I'm not saying Yamanika feels this way. That would make me feel hurt.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. That.

[Bobby Kelly]

Some of that on with all this video they're making. Obviously here, that. The joke is kind of like, I can take this person jumping on me, and it's not like Chelsea's, like, a particularly little person. Do you know what I mean? It's one thing if we were, like, me and Jacob were doing this in a hallway. It's funny because Jacob's so small.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you get what I'm saying?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Chelsea Handler is not that she's like a tiny, tiny lady. She's just showing that she can throw her full oomph into Yamaneka, and it's not a big deal. They'll all still be laughing. I'm overanalyzing it for sure.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm digging it. It's a very uncomfortable hallway situation that I don't like seeing my friend Yamaneka.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, my God.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Getting thrown to the ground by some drunk old white lady.

[Bobby Kelly]

Also, if you pop out of your room, the whole thing's uncomfortable right away. It's like, oh, my God. Finally. Oh, a big, loud black woman in a ca. Karen finally got into it in the hallway. Well, I guess this is gonna be my night.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then you're like, oh, they're laughing together.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. This is some weird.

[Bobby Kelly]

The tackle. The tackle is the one that. Where I was like, I don't like that for Yamanika, and I'm just projecting.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, look, I. Yeah, I. I went through some of this, I guess, on tourgasm and stuff like that. Oh, I went touring with him. I mean. Yeah, I went. I think he hit me with a stun gun once.

[Bobby Kelly]

Really?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think there's a video of it.

[Bobby Kelly]

You got taunt. Dane Cook taunted and bullied you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. With a stun gun.

[Bobby Kelly]

And that's what. So it's hurt people. Hurt people. And then you would come home and bully us.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

You would come back and say mean things to us and tell us that we couldn't sit at table with you, or you don't want to look at my face while you eat. These are all old, Bobby.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I still don't want to do that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So, I mean, yeah, we have to

[Bobby Kelly]

have lunch together every week, baby.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You can look north and I can look south.

[Bobby Kelly]

We sit back to back. Thing I'm doing. You have to somehow get in and break a rule. Oh, take that, dude. You broke a rule. Time to get the zap, Bob. You want the zap? You want the Dane zap? You get this at all, Right? Tell me you don't like what Chelsea Handler's doing. The Yamaneker.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I hate it. I don't like it.

[Bobby Kelly]

All my fun. That one was okay. I'm sorry. I'm having fun with it now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're an.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'll give you a zap.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, here's the problem with this. When I was. When me and Dane Were fucking around. We just young dudes being assholes. This is middle aged women in a fucking hallway. This is just. This is the age where.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, they shouldn't be behaving like this.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, dude, I would never fucking attack you in a hallway and drag you to the ground.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'd always. Again, it says late night. This what I would not be part of. And again, I don't get drunk like that, but I would not be part of this. All I would be thinking about is I go, the people in the rooms are like, what the fuck? What the fuck are you doing?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, it's like at a certain age, you gotta kinda grow up a little bit, listen, and not tackle your chubby friend in the hallway.

[Bobby Kelly]

If they got in the room and started doing it. I see like even losing like a touch of like your volume in that regard. You know, you're in the hallway of the hotel and it's late night. That's pretty wild.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And somebody's videotape, it's content now. Look, I know what clip farming is. And that's what this is as the fluencer. This is just clip farming.

[Bobby Kelly]

And whose bag is it to open that day? A dildo and a gun. Who is that?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You can't tell.

[Bobby Kelly]

Go back to the tackle games. I'd like to see where she gets that.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's actually another one too. Where they, they, they. It gets kind of sexual. It was a little weird. I was like, are you Chelsea? You think they're going at it? You think she was just wants black dick that bag that she'll settle for a black vagina?

[Jacob]

I think Chelsea's very straight.

[Bobby Kelly]

Talk about getting it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What is this? This part bugs me.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, she starts graming her. Well, she's trying to tickle her back of her leg. She doesn't understand Yamane's curvaceous body.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I would immediately take this video and call a lawyer. Yeah. Oh.

[Bobby Kelly]

On that fateful day, Chelsea Handler was against all odds having crossed that goal line. Yamanika in a three point stance facing the other way was going to give her all she could handle. It's a rap tackle.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, look, I guess they're having fun as alcoholics do, but absolutely no,

[Bobby Kelly]

they're having fun for sure. I'll tell you, it sucks to become friends with the person after they have the thing that could actually propel your career majorly. When she was doing Chelsea lately, man, Yamanika would have really benefited from that. Yeah. But she missed the moment. She missed the moment of it. So now she's with Chelsea and they're too late. It's the same thing with everything else. You become friends with someone after the fact.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, this is the type of shit that. Like when this friendship goes away, when she stops using Yamaneka, or Yamanika becomes big enough to where she doesn't. She can't do these anymore. This is the type of shit down the road, like that Katy Perry thing that's happening when you. When you do these weird things and you're fucking around, having fun.

[Bobby Kelly]

What did Katy Perry do?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, you didn't hear about that?

[Jacob]

Yeah, Katy Perry, Dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

Katy Perry. I blocked her ever since we had a weird conversation.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Katy Perry got accused of sexual assaulting Ruby Rose.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nice.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But it's almost.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jacob, stop. Are you. What are you laughing? Because it sounds ridiculous for a woman to accuse a tiny. Another woman to another tiny woman of sexual abuse.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's. It's kind of gross. It's kind of gross? Yeah, a little bit.

[Bobby Kelly]

What was it? She finger with a booger?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, she'll pull it up.

[Bobby Kelly]

That'd be gross.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I want. I want. I want her to, you know, read it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Who's Ruby Rose?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's an actress. She kind of looks very. Dude like. She plays, like a very masculine woman in all her movies. She's kind of hot. She's hot. She got short hair. You wouldn't like her.

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't watch Orange, the new black Paco Weirdo. She was actually.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She was. Yeah. She was actually, I believe, in John Wick.

[Jacob]

Do you want to see?

[Bobby Kelly]

I'd like to see her.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She was the Italian girl in John Wick with the short hair. Remember her?

[Bobby Kelly]

Just, you know, a picture of Ruby Rose.

[Jacob]

Sorry. I was trying to find the video, the allegations.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, you know, she is.

[Jacob]

I don't know her at all.

[Bobby Kelly]

What has she been. And I've seen her.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think she was in John Wick.

[Bobby Kelly]

She say John Wick again?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

John Wick.

[Bobby Kelly]

She was in say John Wick. Clearly, that one. I don't. I don't know. She was in New Black.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Orange is New Black. She's been in a bunch of shit. You know it from a bunch of things.

[Bobby Kelly]

Definitely John Wick, though.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's been in John Wick.

[Bobby Kelly]

We know.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Okay. I'm just letting you know.

[Bobby Kelly]

She was in John Wick. Chapter two.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Chapter two. Second one. The one the went to Italy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Batwoman. No idea.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She played Batwoman in the. I believe it failed.

[Bobby Kelly]

It did. Yeah. 20 episodes.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jacob's type of girl.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, Jacob definitely knows who she is because look at all the stuff. She's in Supergirl, the TV series, dc, Legends of Mar. The Flash. TV series.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

So she's Batwoman in everything? Yeah. I don't know. I thought I recognized her face or something, but I don't recognize any of these things.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You might recognize her from John Wick.

[Bobby Kelly]

Was she in John Wick?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She was in John Wick, too.

[Bobby Kelly]

Chapter two.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Chapter two. You might recognize her from that.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think I do. I think that's what it was.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think it was.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why he just say John Wick from the beginning?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I was trying to say it, but, you know, she was definitely in John Wick, too.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I kept cutting you off at John Wick. Never got you to two Chapter Two. Yeah, that was my fault.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Everyone said they interrupt too much.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm so hungry. Who says you do not interrupt too much.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm so hungry.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You do not interrupt too much.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm all hungry.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You do not interrupt too much. God, I'm hungry.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay, so Ruby Rose alleges that Perry.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Wait to hear this.

[Bobby Kelly]

Now 41 saw me. Why is that in quotes? Resting on my best friend's lap to avoid her and bent down, pulled her under with her side and rubbed her disgusting vagina on my face until my eyes snapped open and I projectile vomited on her. Come on. That's hilarious.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's disgusting.

[Bobby Kelly]

What?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It must have sucked.

[Bobby Kelly]

You could do worse than having Katy Perry rub her muff on your face.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, for me or you. But if it smelled or it was just.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's the equivalent of this? Mark Slaughter from the band Slaughter drags nuts across your face while you're sleeping. Funny.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Funny, but you might project out vomit.

[Bobby Kelly]

Now it's Mark Slaughter. The guy was gorgeous.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not gorgeous. He was mediocre. No, buddy, he's a six.

[Bobby Kelly]

Okay, Bon Jovi dragging nuts across your face.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's nice.

[Bobby Kelly]

Or just fucking maybe. Lane is giving you the Roman soldier's helmet where he puts the cock down between your eyes from your forehead.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I could never do that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Neither it would be a Roman soldier's helmet. Looks like a widow's peak. Look at my dicks giving you. Look at my dicks giving you Eddie Munster hair.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, you do the vampire. Well.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hey, what's that? You get the little. What is peak.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right.

[Bobby Kelly]

There he goes. No, that's a full human penis. Oh, you must have a big forehead. Nope. She saw me resume and put her projectile vomited. Rose also wrote that as a woman, for a myriad of reasons. Good word.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Great word.

[Bobby Kelly]

Opening up about W on W. Women on women violence and sexual abuse seems to be a hundred times harder than speaking out about the male predators. At least for me. Yeah, because everybody goes, so what?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, who wouldn't want that?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, fight back. You're both girls. None of you can knock the other one out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Fight forever. Fight forever or walk away. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You'd have a case if Yamaneka did it to you. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. I hope Yamaneka sues fucking Chelsea for trying to finger her in the hallway.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, it's. It will come.

[Bobby Kelly]

She's not interested in filing a report over this. Why not?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think she did. She went to the police. She went to the police and did file a report. She said.

[Bobby Kelly]

She said she's not interested in filing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I just read something online that she did. She went. She had to go and do it or something like that.

[Bobby Kelly]

She said that? But it says. Who claimed A threads user who claimed she was speaking out on connection to a Twitter feud she once had with Perry in 2017 when she slams her song. Swish, swish. Oh, come on. That's a banger. I don't know what it is.

[Jacob]

That's when she had all the basketball players and heels dancing around. It was kind of a nightmare.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, she performed it somewhere.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I kind of remember that storm being

[Jacob]

like, what the fuck is this?

[Bobby Kelly]

It was pretty terrible. Everyone's wearing basketball. Anyway. Swing down. That's it. Just rub their muffin her face once. Get the over yourself, Rudy. Ruby Rush.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She mushed it in her face, though.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ruby Rose, dude, come on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, she puked on her.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's a heavy reaction. She was something. She was sick from something else. I'll tell you this. If I woke up, dude, and you were smashing your. Into my face, projectile vomiting is not how I would handle that. I mean, I can see being angry, reacting. Maybe. Maybe just closing my eyes and act like I'm still asleep, but start sucking your dick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I think that.

[Bobby Kelly]

And then if we just fall into it, we fall into it. If not, I could always be like, what the fuck? When I was asleep. Dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Who's this?

[Jacob]

This is the.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, Katy Perry. Yeah. It is bad. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Bish.

[Bobby Kelly]

And this is all gay guys wearing high heels with her.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, God.

[Bobby Kelly]

And basketball shorts.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Music is so gay.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know. I'll tell you what. The amount of things they put black people through to be a professional athlete that you have to sit through, you think a black guy wants to sit here and watch a bunch of dudes in high heels? It's like I said, the award shows when they have like, Lil Nas X come out and like. Like, butt fuck all of his friends on stage. And then they just show Method man being like, all right, I guess that's the world now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. That's why I like Frank Sinatra. They didn't do any of that silly shit.

[Bobby Kelly]

It really is. It's the door kick open, like syndrome, you know what I mean? Like, the people were like, all right, look, if you're gay, you're gay. No big deal. And they go, well, hello, NBA. Here's all the gays. Like, slow down, man. And then they got to bring out a girl to Nicki Minaj show or Snatch to make it a little better for a little bit. But this just makes somebody like Jacob upset.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is when Nikki was all right.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't even know what that means.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's not. She's weird now. Her body's nuts.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, I don't know her music at all. She stinks, though, for what it's worth.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

Well, she's listed, though, in, like, the greatest rappers of all time. She's the only woman on the list.

[Bobby Kelly]

The only woman really, really suck on that. Lauryn Hill and Salt and Peppa and MC Light and everybody else from way before Queen Latifah suck dick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's crazy.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, it's a up thing to say because again, some people are victim to. Exactly. How do you put, like, the Sugar Hill Gang on the greatest list of rappers of all time? They're terrible in hindsight because it was. They were divine, but they were inventing the style of music. So the fact that someone could do it now it's like they're the best of all time was. Well, yeah. So is the next person after her is gonna be better than her because it's all developing. It's a Jordan theory, man. I like talking about theories. It's the Jordan theory.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think that waking up to a vag on your face would fucking startle you. I think a cock is much easier because there's no. Like, a vag is just this open thing that has a smell.

[Bobby Kelly]

If you pull your panties to the side and smash it in someone's face, it's not. You're not getting pussy all over the face. You're getting muff, mostly.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What if her nose. The tip of her nose broke the seal of it?

[Bobby Kelly]

No problems there. Who cares? Another girl. Dude, girls don't give a shit about girl shit. They all look at each other's titties and shit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, but apparently she does.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, listen, God bless, she goes for it. That Katy Perry. I respect it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't know why she would call it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I respect her cool move more than I respect this woman making a big to do about it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, if you have a migraine and you're just trying to, you know, rest your head on your friend's lap and then your friend comes over and rubs her snatch on your face, but your headache's gone. You think it has some type of medicinal purpose?

[Bobby Kelly]

Absolutely. If you had hiccups, they'd be gone.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It cures cancer.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I've heard it's been known to cure cancer. Now if you tell me that if she had HPV on that and she's grinding on your face now, possibly attempted murder. Yeah, but I'm assuming Katy Perry's only got just problems from like, you know, British dicks that are all. Basically, they're in their own flesh. Condom already, so she's fine.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You don't think. You don't think Katy Perry's pussy is tainted at all?

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't think so, dude. I think Russell Brand's got a long thinny where the head's always tucked away under that foreskin. Same thing with Orlando Bloom. I don't trust these guys. Orlando Bloom, though, has that fucking gonzo knows of a cock. Remember Katy Perry and him on the picture of them on the bodyboard?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

And he's just naked on his knees and his fucking dick goes like horns out, down, gonzo. Oh, I remember all the dicks do. Justin Bieber's got a nice sticky. Remember his dick was just out in that one picture.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thick old dick. Justin Bieber makes me furious.

[Jacob]

The game, I don't think ever shows it, but he shows it through.

[Bobby Kelly]

That outline is insane. The game's outline. Chris Brown's got a huge dick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, is that his gonzo penis?

[Jacob]

Yeah, I know why the picture's not loading.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know what? I don't remember feeling it was bigger for some reason, but it's pretty. It's for that far away of a picture. That's a soft dick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's very gonzo.

[Bobby Kelly]

But it's a soft dick, though.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's a soft dick. But that's a regular dick.

[Bobby Kelly]

Maybe it is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, that's a regular ding ding.

[Bobby Kelly]

Maybe I just felt confident in everything else going on with him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think your dick is very similar. Could be.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, yes, certain dangles, for sure. Yeah, but that's not. That's not just like pull my pants down and for sure that's what you're going to see.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I tell you what if. If. If I had that dick, I would

[Bobby Kelly]

not be this happy with it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I would not be. Yeah. Naked on a. I agree.

[Bobby Kelly]

Chris Brown though.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Surfboard.

[Bobby Kelly]

You ever see Chris Brown's?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No.

[Bobby Kelly]

Insane.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's getting insane.

[Bobby Kelly]

One insane. Greg Oden was the other guy over recent. But Greg Odin's also 7 foot 2. So of course it's going to be a no.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know it's easy to find a black guy with a big dick. I think. Is there a black guy with not a big dick that we know of?

[Bobby Kelly]

Sure. That shows up in pornography sometimes from here to there.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

But is there someone famous?

[Bobby Kelly]

Look at Chris Brown's dick, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh God.

[Jacob]

I don't think that we've.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's not hard. So fat.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is not right. It's just uncomfortable.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's uncommon.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, that's not soft for sure. That's not like how he's just resting his underwear every day. But I mean that's not a raging boner.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's nuts.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's just flopping down. Greg Odin. See if you can find Greg Odin. Let me see if I can get Bobby hard. Get this fucking naked girl off the screen.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's gonna show me Greg Odin's dick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

God damn. It's already down. It was up. It was getting up. Now it's down.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, maybe you may have been on the come down. That's a good time to take a picture for sure. Look at Greg Odin, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Where was he?

[Bobby Kelly]

Seven foot tall?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. I guess height really does add to you.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's nine inches of straight dangle.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I haven't had a hot dog in decades.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know that's not a hot dog. That's a sausage.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's more of a sausage.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Or like a kielbasa.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Maybe a blood sausage.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, something like that. It's European. Absolute ethnic.

[Bobby Kelly]

Without a doubt.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. I love his bush fat though. Is fucking wild. He doesn't even take. He doesn't trim that at all.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, he doesn't have to.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It looks like he's wearing a bikini bottom.

[Bobby Kelly]

He doesn't have to because he has enough dick to come out of it anyway.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Right? Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

We trim ours down. I taper mine towards the base so it looks like maybe dick starts a little. I always shave a little about a quarter inch above the top of my dick. A quarter inch.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You gotta fade. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Just enough to make it. Because then at least from maybe like a straight on view or something.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're gonna see just the flesh color. It would not being Hair might look like even another half inch, even though it's just. It's just my actual bush fat.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

But because it's no hair on that little part, it just looks like maybe it goes a little bit longer.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A little bit longer. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Optical illusion. It's like painting the cave on the side of the building.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Who's this?

[Bobby Kelly]

The game?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jesus Christ.

[Bobby Kelly]

Look at that. Now, here's the thing. You can make a strong argument that his dick is completely hard right there and he's mushing it down those fucking underwear. But even if it is hard, God bless.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

God bless everybody.

[Bobby Kelly]

God bless all of us.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All of us. I mean, it's crazy. If I had a dick like that, I would definitely try to suck it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Suck it yourself.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, wouldn't you? Yeah, I mean, if you have. If. If a. If you didn't have to hurt yourself right now, I'd have to snap my. I risk being paralyzed.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jesus.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

To try to suck my own penis.

[Bobby Kelly]

Unless you're bony thin.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My God.

[Bobby Kelly]

Unless you're bony thin. The odds that you're gonna be able to contort to get your dick in your mouth.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know what I mean? Now, you might have somebody like Paco who's very athletic, but it doesn't matter unless he's fucking his own face like a rabbit. Yeah, it's not. His dick's not gonna reach.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's not gonna. No matter what he does.

[Bobby Kelly]

If he had a few more inches of dick, he could probably reach. That's going to be an Asian dick issue, which I also suffer from.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I do, too.

[Bobby Kelly]

But I say I don't have to get to that part because I go, paco. They go, paco, you might be able to suck your own dick. And then he's concerned is my dick might not reach. When I go, jay, you wouldn't try to suck your dick? Why would I even try? I know I can't. I know I can't bend that way. There's too much gut and stuff in between.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, you'd have to go to China and have people, like, flex you for years into sucking your own dick.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't think you could. I think the mush in between.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's a kung fu master that could help you do it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. What's his name?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

His name is Lee Kwan.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do I have to go on a great journey to find him?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You have to climb a lot of stairs.

[Bobby Kelly]

11,000 stairs.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

11,000 stairs with two buckets of water.

[Bobby Kelly]

Understand? Can I carry it like cattle, though? On a thing across my shoulders?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You have to carry it like cattle. But you can never put it down. If you put it down, you have to start over again.

[Bobby Kelly]

If I was just woke up tomorrow with the game's dick, I would just start an immediately new life.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I would throw barbecues just in my tight underwear.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. But I'd walk away from everything in my life and just start fresh and attack life new with that dick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I would too.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'd say goodbye to everybody.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is it illegal to walk out with just that? Those tight underwear and your dick shouldn't be Right. Is that illegal? As long as you covenant, you're fine.

[Bobby Kelly]

Showing off God's work.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I would walk around with that all the time.

[Bobby Kelly]

Absolutely.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

That would be my. That would be my going to the store outfit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I would only wear the tights you wore from your mom on stage.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes. So could you imagine the pop I would have gotten if when I dropped it down instead of wagon my dead fucking assless tussie that instead I showed a game fucking hang down my leg. Tommy too Smooth as a comic used to do that. He did a. He did a character called Feliciano. Fuck that. Fernandez. And he would put on yellow pants and no underwear. And when he would like pump, he would go, fuck that. When he would do it, it would. You'd see his fucking dick just smacking around in those fucking thin pants.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, Michelle Obama used do that. Yeah, she like to show her name for sure. Have you seen that video where she's dancing and they. I don't know, it's got to be a. But they got a little flapper hitting the edge of her pants. Yeah. There's a video.

[Bobby Kelly]

This guy never stops taking pictures of his.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why would you? Why would you.

[Bobby Kelly]

I agree.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I mean, first of all, look at. His body's insane. But that dong.

[Bobby Kelly]

Could you imagine wearing white underwear? And then your dick stretches the material so much that you see the color of your dick through the white underwear. Do you see that his dick is making it see through? They're not see through underwear. His dick's making it see through.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, it's pushing through the atoms.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's making. It's. It's doing science right now. That's fission.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And he's always grabbing it. So he is he. I'll tell you what he is doing. He's getting it to the point where it's hanging down, of course. And he's grabbing it to keep that blood in it. That is a technique. I've done that technique.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, we've all done the technique. This is never the result but my.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

My technique is I can never do it to the side. It always has to be sticking straight up.

[Bobby Kelly]

Straight up?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. It can't be. I could never.

[Bobby Kelly]

I've never taken the picture, but anytime I've thought of what would be the picture for that, it's going to have to be straight up. And then the problem is straight up because it's not a super long dick. It's. It's strong and it's dense. Do you know what I'm saying? I don't lose strength because it's so long that you can only do, like, so much movement with it. So if I have a boner and I put it straight up, it's pulling the waistband away from my body. Yeah, but that's not a good way. It's because I'm raging hard, trying to act like I'm not.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All the blood from the upper part of your body is in that small part.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's amazing I'm able to stand up. Christine, can you stop sopping over fucking Orlando Bloom's little dumb dick? It's little and it's stupid.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It is. It's a little dumb, dumb puppet nose dick.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, here we go. It's just this list is goofy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Eminem has a big one.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, that's not what this is. Oh, sorry.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I thought you were bringing up big dicks.

[Bobby Kelly]

Everybody has a big dick. Nicki Minaj. Nicki Minaj.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, okay. I thought you were bringing up people have a big dick.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's a weird list.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Drake does have a big one.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I bet Snoop Dogg has a thin one.

[Bobby Kelly]

I bet his dick is so long and thin.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And no one really likes fucking him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I have a theory that your dick looks like your. Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

You think it feels like a pineapple?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think your dick. Yeah, I think your dick.

[Bobby Kelly]

Pineapple shape.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Like, Ari's dick is Ari's face. It is. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

I never thought about your saying until you said that, and I was like, oh, my God. It really is. It looks like it goes like. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Lewis's dick.

[Bobby Kelly]

If his dick can talk, it would go. All right. Okay.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, you want to go travel the country?

[Bobby Kelly]

You want to go to? I don't know. When I get back, I guess what I want to do, I will. All right, let me get hard. Hang on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Lewis's dick looks like Lewis's face.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah. It doesn't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dan's dick is fat at the end. Like his head.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. I only saw Dan's balls from behind, but, man, they dragged.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. It's like his face. Joe's dick looks like Joe's face. I have a theory that you want to know what a guy's dick look like, Just look at his face.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do you picture Mark Norman's as very curly dick hair, like his head hair?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Mark Norman's dick looks like Mark 100% probably. Yeah. Paco's. I've seen you, Pekka. It looks just like your face.

[Bobby Kelly]

Hey, dick face. Hey, dick face, I'm talking to you. Yeah, that was the Drake. I forgot about Drake.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Drake's pieces.

[Bobby Kelly]

He was showing his flopper on his private jet, which makes a dick look even bigger.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Bobby Kelly]

That plane's so tiny. Your dick looks so big in it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Isn't it so funny that technology advanced so much that we could just take these amazing shots of our dicks and we can't because of our dick size.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Still can't find that amazing shot. Yeah, I've seen every. I've tried every angle.

[Jacob]

I forgot about the Drake picture.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, that one. I mean, come on.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's like blocking his fucking hand.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, they had to find out to make sure that's not him. That's fake. It says fake photos, right? Doesn't it?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He's hoping. Jake's praying. Please tell me that's fake.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, no, listen, God bless him. I believe Drake has a really huge dick.

[Jacob]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Or else how could you be that goofy looking and has your whole career just doing another guy's voice? It's insane.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He does look like four races in one face.

[Bobby Kelly]

He is four races in one face. That is a great tattoo.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I love that.

[Jacob]

Drake's spread out.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What is the tattoo? What is that?

[Bobby Kelly]

It's Drake with legs open, holding his dick. It's a little cartoony and they give you a lot of butthole. In this picture though.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He gives you the butthole and then it gives you a little crease at the bottom of the butthole.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, that's true. It's a good ass. God bless Drake. Drake's thing is so weird. I think I said that before on the thing. His whole thing is like, people love him, but he's just doing Lil Wayne's voice and just did a whole different career. Right. With the same beats in his voice. You love Drake. I know you do, Black Lou, but am I wrong about that? It's not the way he talks. His rapping voice is a chosen voice, like Cypress Hill almost. But he chose to do Lil Wayne's voice.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't hear that. I gotta listen to it. Again.

[Bobby Kelly]

Now that's crazy. They both. They go. They both do the same fucking things. That one's from the place where you sound like that. And Drake's from Canada.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, Lil Wayne's voice is really so Drake's. Let me hear it. I thought he was a little more.

[Bobby Kelly]

I bet you could just. I bet there's a YouTube video that says Drake and Wayne comparison. The fact that Black Lewis said he's never thought of it that way sounds nuts. Babies, mamas. Oh, Jesus Christ. Just stats of them.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

How many babies mamas does he have?

[Bobby Kelly]

I would just look up. Do people think Drake sounds like Lil Wayne? It's gotta be confidence.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If you're the only person that thinks that, that's crazy.

[Bobby Kelly]

That would make me lose confidence in everything I've ever thought.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You've been wrong a couple times. Today.

[Bobby Kelly]

Today.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. That guy was not the hottest guy you live.

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't say he was the hottest guy. You're adding.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He said he was gorgeous and he was not gorgeous.

[Jacob]

There's a Reddit thread.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, there you go. That's all I need. Yep.

[Jacob]

Am I just tripping or early? Drake sounds like Lil Wayne.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's a white guy too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's from Big J Okerson.

[Bobby Kelly]

In songs like Believe Me, Bring Up Believe Me. Here you go though. You're about to have your whole world blown to pieces, my man. I don't know, man. You fell in love with a Canadian who's pretending to be from New Orleans. A Jewish Canadian. A Jewish Canadian. Disgusting. Ever notice that keeping the same workouts and eating habits doesn't always deliver the same results over time, especially around energy and body composition. As you get older, many men experience changes in testosterone which influence how the body stores fat and maintains muscle. Mars Men is a natural supplement designed to support healthy testosterone levels and overall wellness. Using ingredients like Tongkat, Ali, shilijit, zinc and boron. It's formulated without synthetic hormones and is made in the USA with third party testing. Some users report steadier energy, improved focus and better workout performance when combined with consistent habits. Plus, it comes with a 90 day money back guarantee. For a limited time, our listeners can get 50% off for life plus free shipping and three free gifts@ Mengotomars.com that's Mengotomars.com for 50% off and three free gifts when you check out and it's also available on Amazon. After you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that our show sent you. These days, a free offer doesn't stay free for long, the hidden fee starts stacking up. Service fees, activation fees. Next thing you know, it's not free at all. But at Metro by T Mobile you can get the new Samsung Galaxy A17.5G phone free and save with no activation fees. That's about $250 back in your pocket. What could you do with that? So many things. You could buy junk food or video games or maybe go buy a ticket to the theater. They say the theater is dying. Help them out. You got 250 extra dollars in your pocket. Get that more for your money feeling only at Metro. What are you waiting for? Find your local store. Just bring your number and sign up for the $40 period. Plan savings based on device discount and waived activation fee. Not available. If you were with Metro or T Mobile in the past 180 days, this

[Big Jay Oakerson]

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[Commercial Narrator]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is Lil Wayne.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's Lil Wayne. It's his song.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is Lil Wayne.

[Bobby Kelly]

But this actually. Actually, it's Drake.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is this Drake?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes.

[Jacob]

Yeah. Yeah, that is Drake.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So take back your little fucking snarky remark to me.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, my point is made.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

By this, your pain was made. But you did give me a snarky.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sorry about the snark. I got excited.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You did. You did get a little excited. You tried to make me feel bad.

[Bobby Kelly]

That's where you get to show a black guy a rap thing.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

This is Drake. Yeah, you're right. You're 100% right.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think it might just be some cadence, that's all. No, it's the tone of the voice. The tone of their voice. Drake's doing a voice.

[Jacob]

Drake sounds more like Lil Wayne than Lil Wayne. Drake used to be a copy of Lil Wayne.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Jacob]

This is how Drake was inspired by Lil Wayne.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, he sounds exactly like Lil Wayne.

[Bobby Kelly]

Black Lou hides this from his algorithm. He runs away because he loves. He loves Drake too much.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He loves Canada.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. More than New Orleans, I guess.

[Jacob]

He loves child actors, cosplaying rappers.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

We went down the hole on that one.

[Bobby Kelly]

Black Lose all Degrassi junior high. Oh, man, he loves that Degrassi. That Degrassi class. You were blown away and so happy to find that he wasn't actually in a wheelchair. It blew your mind. You're a fan. Playing for life.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

He could walk.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Shut up.

[Bobby Kelly]

Also, his real name is Aubrey.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, his name is Aubrey, and he went to Drake.

[Bobby Kelly]

Anything would be better than Aubrey.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I mean, if you went just Aubrey with no last name. Like, no nothing. Just, hey, what's up? I'm Aubrey. That's not bad.

[Bobby Kelly]

You know a boy named Sue? Maybe his dad did something like that because he saw that massive cock and he was like, fuck this kid. That's not my dick. Doesn't look like that. When I was born, I fucked this kid. His name's Aubrey. Now get pussy, you fucking asshole.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You know how the little cock that we know. Black dude that had a bigger.

[Bobby Kelly]

Who, Patrice? Did he have a little pecker? Huge body.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He had a huge body. Understood. Yes.

[Jacob]

It was hiding.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I understand.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, he definitely didn't have a. He didn't have Let me pull it out and impress Chick's dick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, he had. He had a dick so much that he just went to pure. Just. I'm just gonna use dildos.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, that's.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's when you have a little cut where you look. I'm gonna buy you a better dick.

[Bobby Kelly]

I can see buying you a better dick, but you have to be able to at least use the one you have on you as well. Oh, God damn.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Damn.

[Bobby Kelly]

Lil Wayne and Drake. We just blew fucking Black Lou's mind. I'm sorry, Black Lou.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Anybody else you want me to ruin? Gordon from Sesame street was Uncle Tom. You heard it here first.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Frank Sinatra. Nobody sounded like him.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, everybody.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm just joking.

[Jacob]

I'm joking.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm joking. I'm joking, you guys. All stars.

[Bobby Kelly]

In fact, I know the saddest. Well, I was starting to think. I was like, I think Drake and Lil Wayne could easily sound like Frank Sinatra if they chose to. That's how easy Frank Sinatra is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Is that the only reason why you hate that music? Because anybody can do it.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's. These were, like, the celebrities of the time and display some sort of a talent. Their acting sucks. They're everything again. It's times changing. I understand that. But at one point, movies thought acting was supposed to be like, Let me tell you something, lady. If you're gonna say something like that, you're gonna find yourself in prison, okay?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Acting evolved a lot. Acting, everybody kind of sucked back in the day.

[Bobby Kelly]

Exactly. So you didn't need to be like. You just needed one. They just wanted to see Elvis or see Frank Sinatra.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like, I'm a big fan of Westerns. I love, like, John Wayne movies. I love all the Westerns. And they sucked all the. They always had the. The young guy who just overacted anger. God damn it. Why are you gonna do that to me? And then he looks to the camera, you know, it looks away. But acting did evolve a little bit. And Frank Sinatra was in shitty acting time.

[Bobby Kelly]

But that's why you also. What I bet Frank Sinatra also could do, though, was tap dance. You know what I mean?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Never tapped in. That was.

[Bobby Kelly]

That was Sammy Davis. Damn, dude.

[Jacob]

Damn.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's right.

[Jacob]

Frank Sinatra in.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He was in.

[Bobby Kelly]

God, shitty, shitty, awful ones.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, he was in a couple good ones. Tell me one really he was in Ocean's Eleven was a good one. The Oscar for her. To Eternity. Yeah, hit her. Eternity. He was in the oceans 11 was a good movie. I thought it was all right.

[Bobby Kelly]

There was no other movies then.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What do you mean? There was no. There was a ton of movies back.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, listen. Everyone says Citizen Kane's the best movie ever. Go watch it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I watched.

[Bobby Kelly]

It sucks.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was a great movie.

[Bobby Kelly]

Boring.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Great movie.

[Bobby Kelly]

Snoozer.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Not a snoozer.

[Bobby Kelly]

It is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It is not a fucking snooze.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's got one major problem as soon as it starts.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What?

[Bobby Kelly]

Black and white.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That's fucking great.

[Bobby Kelly]

Nope, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So.

[Bobby Kelly]

So wasn't black and white meat. Black and white meat for a couple

[Big Jay Oakerson]

minutes, for a little while, then it

[Bobby Kelly]

went Technicolor and I was in that blue people's mind. My mind.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Because we were all black and white. But they. All the movies are black and white. And then when it. When it started in black and white and went to color, people in the theaters like, oh my, what the is this?

[Bobby Kelly]

And these facts are why you're too old for Bon Jovi.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'm not.

[Bobby Kelly]

I also, everyone's grandfather in the pictures around the house looked like Frank Sinatra when they were younger. That just looks like my grandfather.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, everybody dressed the same back then.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. Slicked back hair parted to the side, part of the side, slicked suit.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Everybody suit. Yeah. Frank's the doctor as a young man. Was kind of ugly.

[Bobby Kelly]

He is.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He actually got better looking as he got older. Oh. Do you know how much pussy Frank got?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes, I do, Bobby.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I don't think you do.

[Bobby Kelly]

Don't you wish it was a time where everyone could get laid simply from talking in rhythm?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I think that time might come back sooner than you think.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sooner than I thiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

[Jacob]

I wish we would.

[Bobby Kelly]

And my long big notes boots. Because I just talk it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Don't you wish they'd go back in the kitchen?

[Jacob]

My God, that's gotta be his kid, right?

[Bobby Kelly]

I'd rather Katy Perry wake me up with her muff than listen to this. I'll take the puke. I'll take it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. Frank Sinatra was an ugly young dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, is that Ronan Farrow?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

They say he's definitely his son.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah, that's his son. Frank Sinatra is another one with a big piece. He had a big piece? Yeah. Yep. Oh, yeah. Who had. Who's the guy with the big dick?

[Bobby Kelly]

Liam Neeson? John Ham? Milton Burrow?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, from back. Milton Burrow. Yeah, his dick was.

[Bobby Kelly]

I know all the dick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

See if you can. Why can't we find that? I'd love to see a picture of that.

[Bobby Kelly]

He said he used to pull it out on set all the time, right? It was like a joke almost.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He pulled it out on SNL when he. And that. You see the snl.

[Bobby Kelly]

Rodney had huge balls. Rodney would show his balls to everybody all the time.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Look like his face. Yeah, yeah. He was on snl and the guy. What's his name? Come up to him. I think it was. Was it Chevy Chase walked up to him and he was talking to one of the girls and he came out and he just. He was kind of being a dick on set and he was. He was kind of like, hey, man, relax. And he went. He just pulled his dick out. And he goes, look, you kid, when you get one of these, you can talk to me. Or something like that.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jesus.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

There's a scene in the. The SNL documentary thing that they made.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, that movie.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That movie where he actually. Yeah, he pulled his. He just pulled his out and showed him his dick. And it was massive. And it actually. The guy who. I think it was Chevy Chase or. Or Dan Aykroyd, one of those guys.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, when you get one of these.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, when you get. Is that what he said?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, no, that's what you said.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Let me see.

[Jacob]

It says Milton Burrow used to pull his penis out in front of everybody. I personally know multiple people that Milton pulled his dick out in front of.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I would too, if I had a massive thing. That would be my. I'd pull it out at the end of my sets, guys. Thank you so much. And I pull my dick out. Love you, Mohegan, son. Thanks for coming out. And then I'd flap all the girls faces in the front row with it,

[Bobby Kelly]

man. I'll tell you this. I wouldn't do that at all personally, but I wish I was the person that would. I'll be envious of you doing it. Well, we're gonna. We're gonna treat our big huge dicks differently in this scenario. But I like your way.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What would you do?

[Bobby Kelly]

Not me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If you had a big huge dick, you wouldn't take it out?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, no, I would take it out, but not like in those situations. I just go in the fucking weird. I'd find a way to point it out a lot. That's when you go to a strip club and you'd be like, whoa, don't dance too close. You're waking this guy up and they're gonna be like, what the fuck is that? Real. I go. I know, right? It's crazy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And why are you untidy, Whitey?

[Bobby Kelly]

It's almost a burden.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I wouldn't wear the boxes.

[Bobby Kelly]

Why are you dressed like the game?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I'd wear tighty whities, so it would actually. The helmet would actually peek out of the bottom.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Is he. I didn'. No, he's got a mind of his own, this guy. Yeah. I would pull my dick out a bunch.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, man. That guy was a good choice for Milton Berle.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

What's his name? J.K. rowling.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no, J.K. simmons.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Simmons. Yeah. He was from Whiplash.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yep.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Was not in John Wick.

[Bobby Kelly]

Was not in John Wick.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No. Was not in John Wick. Just to let you know.

[Bobby Kelly]

First things first. Let me know if they're in or not in John Wick Chapter two. I will at all cost. Let me know John Wick, Chapter two or not.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

If you pulled. You can't even. I mean, be able to pull your dick out and not get canceled. You can't pull your dick out anymore. I mean, times have changed.

[Bobby Kelly]

Different times.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's a different time.

[Bobby Kelly]

Jane Curtin's not gonna run to the authorities. Just shut up and take it. You're lucky to be on tv.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jane Curtin. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Remember what you had to deal with? Remember his thing was like, Jane, you ignorant. That was like always the line on her.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And she doesn't sit there and just eat it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Now get over there to Kate and Alley and shut your mouth some more while you're at it. Oh, Jane, Curtain. What was her biggest thing then? She. They revived her for. They woke her up out of her casket to get her up for the Coneheads movie. No one gave a about.

[Jacob]

She did Third Rock from the Sun Forever.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, really? I thought she died.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, that was the other one. Oh, no, that was. What's her name?

[Bobby Kelly]

The Was Christine wrong.

[Jacob]

I think I'm wrong.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Rosanna. Dana Rana. What's her name?

[Bobby Kelly]

She kill the radner?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She's dead.

[Bobby Kelly]

She died also. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

She died. Died. She's married to. What's his name?

[Bobby Kelly]

Gene Wilder.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Thank God she died before they were able to have kids.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yikes. Those kids would have been propagated. They would have started the Gaza war earlier.

[Jacob]

She wasn't part of like the. The four main cast members, but she was John Lithgow's love interest.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, got you. Gotcha.

[Jacob]

But she was on the whole series. Oh, I love this show.

[Bobby Kelly]

I guess they farted.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jane, Third Rock from the Sun.

[Jacob]

I love Third Rock from the Sun.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

What was it about? Aliens. They were all aliens.

[Bobby Kelly]

You're too old for it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was around.

[Bobby Kelly]

I was too old for it too.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I was around with Derrick Rockins from the Sun. I just didn't watch it. I didn't watch.

[Bobby Kelly]

I checked out as sitcoms. Probably at the times when all of them. That's why I don't. That's me and Christine's age difference. I don't give a shit about friends at all.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I used to get mad at friends because I lived in New York and I was like, this is such. You really have that nice of an apartment? You have?

[Jacob]

It was her grandmother's.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Whatever.

[Jacob]

She had rent control. It's explained through the whole series.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Was it? I didn't know that. Oh, maybe I'll go rewatch it then. That's all I needed. That's all I needed. That's all. Yeah. It's also a six story walk up.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right?

[Jacob]

Six story walk up.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

All right, all right, listen. Now that I have this information, I'll go.

[Bobby Kelly]

Do they make a thing about that? That it's a sixth floor walk up? Yeah. Is that a thing all the time?

[Jacob]

No, not six floor, but it's like the. I think it's supposed to be like the. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, how do you walk up. How do you explain the other apartments?

[Jacob]

Well, Chandler makes money. Ross makes money. He's a professor. Phoebe lives at her grandmother's house.

[Bobby Kelly]

How does Chandler make money? Spending it all on fucking fentanyl and ketamine.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Dad.

[Jacob]

Or reconfiguration?

[Bobby Kelly]

She won't acknowledge that he's dead. She just won't acknowledge it. Really?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why? You know he's dead, right?

[Bobby Kelly]

I know.

[Jacob]

I actually couldn't watch the show for a while after he died.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why?

[Jacob]

Watching again, it made me sad. He's like. He's the best.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Why would you be sad?

[Bobby Kelly]

You don't know him.

[Jacob]

The character, I mean.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, but he's still alive.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

That character still lives.

[Jacob]

Still alive.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Chandler still lives. You know, Sex of the City is another one. I can't watch their. Their apartments aggravate. It's like obsessed with that show. They have no. They all have money.

[Jacob]

It's a lawyer. It's a PR girl. It's a girl that got a Park Avenue apartment from her husband.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Maybe I'll rewatch that. You're changing everything. I should have talked to you.

[Jacob]

Carrie's lived in her house since the 80s.

[Bobby Kelly]

I also did. I didn't have a. I wasn't beholden to Seinfeld. Either. I've definitely not seen every episode of Seinfeld.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Have not seen every. I did watch it, but I didn't watch it. I've seen it.

[Bobby Kelly]

I think my grandmother liked it, so if I was with her, I'd watch it with. But it was first run only. I didn't go back on that when it would be on. And by the time it was funny, it wasn't what was rerun much in my time before having a computer on the road. It was still like Coach. I've seen more episodes of Coach by far than I've seen of Seinfeld.

[Jacob]

Yeah, I've seen a lot of Coach

[Bobby Kelly]

because Coach was just on. It was on at night in a hotel room, and it would come on. And then the last sitcom that I was like, it caught me, and I was like, I'm gonna start watching a lot of this was King of Queens. I thought that show was very funny.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, when I was a kid, my uncle used to watch all in the Family all the time, and I didn't get it. I was too young. But I started.

[Bobby Kelly]

I didn't care for that either.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I started re watching it. It in the last couple years. They're great.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, really? In the last couple years, I haven't gone back now my sitcoms. I didn't care about that one.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You should watch all the fi. It's so funny.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm a Jefferson's guy, and that really does make sense in what you guys say about me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He was not. He was not in John Wick, by the way.

[Bobby Kelly]

No. Sherman Helmsley. No, no, they couldn't afford him.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, they couldn't afford him, and his rider was too much.

[Bobby Kelly]

Remember when he was sadly coming to the Cellar towards the end for a little bit?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I remember because he was doing stand up.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I did, I think a show. I think I did Sherman Helmsley and Friends at Caroline's even, where he was just making a money grab and, like, hosting a show.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I know, but it's still great to see Mr. Jefferson.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was neat. He was very. By the way, still funny conversationally.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And a very nice guy. But I remember sitting at a table at the Cellar and Kurt was just doodling with his. With the chalk on the table. Kurt Metzger, he was doodling. And then I wasn't paying attention. And I'm like. I'm just looking basically at Sherman Helms, like George Jefferson. Amen. And I'm like. And then Curtis goes, hey, do you think he would think this is funny? And he just looked down and he Drew, like, a perfect picture of Sherman, but just, like, so many lines in his, you know, I mean, it looked good, but it was, like, clearly not a flattering picture of him. And I was like, ah. Like, hand already. I'm like, what are you doing? You have no idea how to be Haven public. I'm like, he's not gonna think this is good.

[Jacob]

Talk to nobody.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, he's not gonna think this is good at all.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You autistic genius, dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

Kurt had some of the best.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Like, yeah, you can't give that fucking autistic genius chalk.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm glad. I'm glad he lives.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

He'll solve world problems.

[Bobby Kelly]

I'm glad he survived long enough. He survived long enough. I'm glad he survived long enough to get past that. Like, people saw and see how funny he is, despite his lunacy.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Because his social awkwardness, man. When it would come out, some of the funniest ones do. I mean, the David Tell stories are great. It's amazing. They became good friends with how much I tried to organize that poorly. And then, yeah, dude, he was just like, the fucking with Ben Bailey one time at the Comedy Cellar, he goes up to him. Ben Bailey's like, yeah, blah, blah, blah, something. Me and my wife are gonna go to whatever. And he goes, oh, who's your wife? It's a weird question. Who's not? Like, I didn't know you were married. How long you married? Who's your wife? And Ben Bailey goes, Mrs. Bailey. And then walks away. Kurt had a lot of people just walk away from a conversation. He'd just sit there like, that wasn't bad, right? I told you when he told me Stu came like, he came to me one day when we just met a Tell. We're just starting to with him a little bit at the Cellar. A little bit now.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You bullshit a lot with the Tell at the Cellar.

[Bobby Kelly]

Sure, yeah. Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Saw you late for my show.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's maybe the most important thing I go to the seller for.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, well, you know, if you tell me you're gonna be there at 7:30, you should be there at 7:30.

[Bobby Kelly]

I tried my best.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You did not.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, David Tell called.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It was 30 minutes. 30 minutes.

[Bobby Kelly]

He was right by my car.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I called you on stage.

[Bobby Kelly]

We got Ben Bankus on, so look at the positives.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, yeah. Was there. Did I tell you what happened with that?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's.

[Bobby Kelly]

You Tell. It's great.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, I think. Did I tell it on the show?

[Bobby Kelly]

No, no, no.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, I. I have breakfast with Gnome whatever once a Month or whatever. We will. Help me for breakfast. We've been doing it for years.

[Bobby Kelly]

He pays and.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

No, I pay.

[Bobby Kelly]

Wow.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, he paid this time, though. But he. He goes, robert, who's your openers? And I was like, what? He goes, I got complaints about your openers. And I was like, first of all, it's Danny and Joe, and they're very funny, and they're. They produce the show, but they do five, you know, maybe eight minutes each. And they. They've. They always do great. And I was on the show and the show was great, and I go, read me their complaint. I want to hear the complaint about them. So he goes in and.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was just a letter about me. No, it was the original letter.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

So he goes in and he reads the complaint. And he's talking, of course, about Ben. The person complained about Ben and his political blah, blah, blah. And very rude. And. And he goes. And then I'm thinking it's gonna be you. Then he goes, and the guy in the hero hoodie complain about me. He goes, look, I say the word cocksucker, but that was a little too much. The two complaints weren't about Danny or Joe. It was about.

[Bobby Kelly]

Or me.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, you.

[Bobby Kelly]

It was about you and Ben Backus.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Rest of the show is great. These two fucking idiots. Oh, fuck off. And then I go, well, were there any good reviews? He goes, oh, yeah, I got six good reviews. I go, then fucking focus on them, you asshole. I go, don't just focus on that. And first of all, the joke that I do about cocksuckers, that one where I. When the guy's calling me a cocksucker motherfucker, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he calls me like, 97. And then I go, it's a little much. The joke is about the guy saying, cocksucker too much, Bobby, you understand?

[Bobby Kelly]

Gnome sees everything as that one moment in time that you had. Yeah, it's all that. It doesn't matter if the room and six people said they loved

[Jacob]

it.

[Bobby Kelly]

Doesn't matter. By the way, one person sends a letter saying they're complaining. Yeah, it's gonna make the book, dude.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, it made the book.

[Bobby Kelly]

It's gonna make the book.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I go, listen, bro, making part two. I go, anybody who writes a letter to complain, you should ignore.

[Bobby Kelly]

Right?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Letter writers. Who the fuck writes a. Who sends an email to complain?

[Bobby Kelly]

I know it should not be rewarded, certainly not rewarded with a paid chapter in a book, but what do I know? What do I know? That lady now. That lady's now a published. A published writer. I'm not.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You could be. You should talk to Louis Lewis and

[Bobby Kelly]

that Lewis and that girl are more accredited writers than I am.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

And me. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And Bobby Kelly also. And Joe DeRosa and Bill Burr.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

And now I think. Who else is doing one? They said so Kim.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Oh, is Kim writing a book?

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah, I think Lewis just said he can get everybody a book deal.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

It's through Body Bane. Yeah. Body Brain presents.

[Jacob]

The book club did a collection of short stories. You could do a book. We've been saying it for years.

[Bobby Kelly]

Good save. For years. I'll save those stories for stage where I will need them often.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah. You write a book in your 70s

[Bobby Kelly]

or just never at all?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, you're gonna need a cute. You need to type. So that's one thing.

[Bobby Kelly]

I have a boring memoir, dude. It's not that interesting.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You have a great memoir, dude. Your black ears,

[Bobby Kelly]

your.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Your. Your redneck ears. You got your metal years. You got your ears.

[Bobby Kelly]

Those were all the same years, though. Oh, they all became time of the day.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They just all became the same outfit. Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

Who am I around and what day is it you can get Wigger J in the same fucking breath as you get fucking Rave J. Who knows? Depends who I'm hanging with.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You really are like. You are the boars. You will assimilate.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. I wanted to fit in always. I was never. I wish I would have thought a little more like individuality when I was younger. I probably would have. Maybe would have been happier. Probably would have found a little more like. Probably would have been better with chicks even too. If I just had a kind of self confidence. I. My problem was I'd see the not weight problem kids coming in in like the stylish clothes. And I was like, oh, I should dress like that. Do you know what I mean? I was like, yeah, you have the

[Big Jay Oakerson]

same mentality as retarded.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yes. I think like a retard. Thank you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Kelly]

That is correct. That is correct.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

When I lived with the six retarded men, they all started dressing like me.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Down to my bikini underwear.

[Bobby Kelly]

There you have it. Why do they see you in your bikini underwear, Bobby?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, because I was rocking back then.

[Bobby Kelly]

Used to walk around, show them the game style. You go out there holding your dick. Anybody want a little late night snack before we hit the sack or. What's up?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

They all, they all got their clothing vouchers and they came back with bikini. Different color bikini underwear.

[Bobby Kelly]

I hope you retards aren't allergic to pork because I brought a sausage. Christ almighty. Wrap it up. Lou, that's it.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

The weekend's now, baby. The weekend you're going. He's going to do Story wars in Nashville.

[Bobby Kelly]

One more show tonight.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, you're doing. You already did it.

[Bobby Kelly]

You already did yesterday's.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You're doing Story wars tonight, so make sure you check that out. It's probably really. I think it's my favorite podcast.

[Bobby Kelly]

Oh, thank you.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I really do. It is the funnest show I've ever done as far as podcasts.

[Bobby Kelly]

Easy and fun. That's what we're saying.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Easy, fun. And it's so hilarious and. And there's skill to it. There's a lot of psychology that goes into it.

[Bobby Kelly]

People get there. As you play more and more, you

[Big Jay Oakerson]

start to realize, I'll never trust you again.

[Bobby Kelly]

You shouldn't.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I shouldn't. God damn.

[Bobby Kelly]

Lewis has hurt me too much.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

You've hurt me, dude.

[Bobby Kelly]

Kansas City, Friday, Saturday.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Kansas City, Friday, Saturday. BigJComedy.com make sure you check him out. He's all over the place. And YouTube.com bigjokerson for his live show that he does, and his specials are up there.

[Bobby Kelly]

And Bobby Kelly is going to be at Comics Roadhouse in Connecticut this weekend with Paco.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Yeah, Paco and Cody Marino's coming. One show Friday, one show, two show Saturday.

[Bobby Kelly]

Maybe Ben Bankus. No, after that he's going to be at Uncle Vinny's in New Jersey. Cleveland, Ohio, Stanford, New Orleans for tickets, all tour dates. Punch up that live Robert Kelly, his YouTube channel at Robert Kelly Comedy. And of course, 7pm Every Tuesday night, Fat Black Pussycat lounge at the Comedy Cellar. You can see him live.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Live.

[Bobby Kelly]

Enjoy your weekend, everybody. We'll be back on Monday.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Monday.

[Bobby Kelly]

Will Jacob be back?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Jacob's back.

[Bobby Kelly]

Ah, geez.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Come on. Him. Maybe the vacation.

[Bobby Kelly]

You said you saw him on vacation on Zoom. He looked miserable as ever.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

First advocate, first day, maybe the second day. We should get it. We should have him send a picture of every day on vacation to see if it progressively gets happier.

[Bobby Kelly]

I don't know. I'm thinking about just getting a bungee cord and hooking it to the corners of his mouth and his ears. Fucking make him smile so I fucking don't feel so bummed out. When I come in, man, the other day when I came in late, I was like, I was in such a good mood. Immediately I go, oh, we're all here, laughing, having a good time. I didn't see Jago's face going like, this is going to be bad. Everyone's going to be freaking out. This is bad.

[Jacob]

Y'. All.

[Bobby Kelly]

Yeah. There we go. This is bad.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Well, we'll be back. Hopefully Jacob will be happy. We'll see you guys.

[Bobby Kelly]

Let's go, Chick Fil?

[Big Jay Oakerson]

A. I love Chick Fil A. I

[Bobby Kelly]

know you do, because you hate gays.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

I love gays.

[Bobby Kelly]

Well, Chick Fil A doesn't. Enjoy your weekend. Crackle, crackle.

[Big Jay Oakerson]

Hey, campers, guess what? Skank Fest x New Orleans is November 13th through the 15th at Mardi Gras World. Badges go on sale this Monday, April 20th at 2pm Eastern Time at skankfest.com so make sure you get your tickets. It's going to sell out, so don't miss out. Skankfest x New Orleans skankfest.com

[Commercial Narrator]

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[Big Jay Oakerson]

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